Blank Check with Griffin & David - Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

Episode Date: October 23, 2016

Days before its official release, Griffin and David discussed 2016's action thriller sequel Jack Reacher: Never Go Back.

Blank Check with Griffin and David Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect All you need to know is that the name of the show is Blank Check You think I'm a hero? I'm not a hero. I'm a drifter with nothing to lose. Now you killed that girl to put me in a frame. I mean to beat you to death and drink your blood from a boot. Now, this is how it's going to work.

You're going to give me the address, and I'll be along when I'm damn good and ready. She doesn't answer the phone when I call this number. If I even think you've heard her, I disappear. And if you're smart, that scares you, because I'm in your blind spot, and I have nothing better to podcast. Nothing better to podcast. Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin Newman.

My name is David Simp. This is a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. I don't know what this is that you're doing. What's this? We are hashtag the two friends. Yes. We're two friends. We host a podcast together. What's the premise of this podcast?

We like looking at careers. Some people look at the micro. We look at the macro, baby. We like charting. Yeah. And this weird conundrum. What happens when you're in Hollywood? You got some heat.

You got some power. Sure. You're no longer begging for scraps. You have the ability to make things happen. What's happening right now? You get a blank check sure sometimes that check bounces sometimes it clears baby okay we mostly do miniseries but once in a while we do a one-off once in a while something sparks our interest right and there's a combination

of factors you know yeah a a movie comes out that we just can't help but talk about. Okay, yeah, right. We see the movie and we're like, ah. And you and I just feel like this ties together to some themes that we've been talking about in other episodes. We've got to fucking talk about this movie. Right. Part two is we've been told that our ratings are good when we do one-offs about films currently in theaters. That's true. People like to see movies that are in theaters rather than unavailable on all streaming platforms or even on Blu-ray and DVD like The Abyss.

Subtweet The Abyss. We don't try to abuse that, but we try to mix it up a little bit, try to throw one of these in every once in a while, right? Yeah. And part three is sometimes we have scheduling issues and we have a hard time locking down the guests we want for the episode on the right day because everyone's schedules are crazy and we don't want to go a week without doing an episode. Of course. So that means today we're here to talk about a very important movie. I feel like we were always going to do this. I tweeted at you months ago saying we got to do this.

Well, I had told you years ago that this movie should be seen. And I was like, huh, I don't know, man. And then I got around to it. Then you tweeted me and you were like, why didn't you tell me to see this movie? This is my favorite movie of all time. It's the best movie ever made. Yeah, I agree. I've been telling you that for fucking years.

Well, I got around to it. So you finally got around to it on the eve of its sequel. Yeah, probably. I watched it a couple months ago. And you and I, I think like a month or two ago. And we were like, we should do something for this franchise, especially after seeing the second one. You and I went to an advanced screening of the second one. We did.

We haven't said the name yet. No. People will know because it's a podcast and it's in the title of the episode they downloaded. The day we're recording this episode, the movie's coming out. Yes. It comes out this evening, I guess. It comes out right now. This will drop on the

Monday after when we know the box office results. Yeah, it'll make $25 million. I think it'll make less. I think it'll make $17. Yeah, quite will drop on the Monday after when we know the box office results. Yeah. It'll make $25 million. I think it'll make less. I think it'll make $17. Yeah. Of course. First one only opened to $15.

Right. But it had a 5.2 multiple. It was a very nice. It was an open Christmas corridor. Yeah. And you know, it was a nice little word of mouth, you know, dad movie. Yeah. It ended up at $80 domestic and I think like $250 worldwide.

Not huge numbers. Not something that would automatically lead to a sequel. Fine. But I think an interesting phenomenon here is that the star of this franchise really wants to make it a franchise. I guess so. I think, and we were talking about this,

and I'm sure we will talk about this, he sees longevity in this for him. Oh, we're going to talk about this. But the story, the narrative we're telling in this very special one-off episode is how Tom keeps trying to make Reach happen. Ladies and gentlemen, enough suspense. Yep.

You've already read the title of the episode. Yep. You, of course, now are listening to... We don't actually... Jack Reachcast. Okay, there we go. Never pod home. Never pod back.

Never go pod. We're going to have to figure it out. I was about to say, we actually didn't talk about what the title of the episode jack reach cast colon we agree on jack reach cast colon never pod back never never yeah never pod back yes that's what we should do jack reach cast never pod back great so we swapped pod and cast. We inverted them. Sometimes you gotta. Sometimes you gotta invert. And that's what we're doing today. We're inverting the format of our show. I don't know.

Whatever. Here we are. We're talking about Jack Reacher and Jack Reacher Never Go Back. We're going to talk about the series of Jack Reacher. We might spoil Jack Reacher Never Go Back a little bit. But look, you've had a whole weekend. We might spoil Jack Reacher Never Go Back a little bit. But look, you've had a whole weekend.

So if you've got to get to Jack Reacher Never Go Back, please do that and then listen to this podcast. But we'll mostly be talking about Reacher 1. I don't know. We'll talk about it all. We're going to talk about it all. No, this overlaps with some themes that have been going on recently in the podcast. In our Cameron Crumney series, we talk about old TC a lot.

TC-14? Tom Cruise-14. Yeah, we've talked about Tommy Cruise. We like Tommy Cruise as a fascinating case study in our blank check sort of oeuvre. Right. And he is kind of a blank check actor. Absolutely.

It's a Tom Cruise production, as it announces. And he's kind of an auteur of all his movies because his persona is so big. And he's kind of an auteur of all his movies because his persona is so big. And so under his control. He hires the directors. He very much manages his brand and his narrative.

For 20 years now. Mission Impossible, which was the first Cruise Wagner production. Now it's just Tom Cruise production. That was the first time he was sort of overseeing everything and that's just been the norm for him ever since. And the key thing is between, you um top gun sure which is the thing that elevated him to a big superstar right like risky business made him a star but top gun made him a superstar thumbs up and now he's got the blank check he between that film and uh take a look

at his little and mission impossible i argue, with a very few exceptions, went about trying to work with all the best living American directors. Color of Money, Scorsese. Who directed Cocktail? Cocktail is the exception. I said with very few exceptions. Rain Man, Barry Levinson. Born on the 4th of July, Oliver Stone.

Days of Thunder, that doesn't count. Who directed Days of Thunder? Tony Scott. He brought it back home. Oh, Tony Scott. Yeah, it's fine. Far and Away, Ron Howard. A Few Good Men, Rob Reiner.

The Firm is... Sidney Pollack? Pollack, exactly. Tony Scott. He brought it back home. Oh, Tony Scott. Yeah, it's fine. Far and Away, Ron Howard, a few good men, Rob Reiner. The Firm is... Sidney Pollack? Pollack, exactly. Interview with the Vampire, Neil Jordan. He's making a lot of Oscar plays. He's making a lot of serious movies. He's tossing in a couple fun ones for the fans. These are heavy hitters of the 80s and 90s,

and he's sort of going through them and trying to, I think, figure out. And he's working with also other huge movie stars. He's working with Paul Newman. He's working with Dustin Hoffman. He's working with Jack Nicholson. Often almost always kind of almost playing a supporting role to them in terms of like. Which is interesting. He's often taking the less interesting

role doing a decent job usually. He's kind of being the straight man or the kid or the prototype. I mean apart from Born on the 4th of July which is a real know, sort of bravura, like, give me an Oscar, pay attention to me performance. And is both his first Oscar nomination and, at the time, the youngest person ever to be nominated for Best Actor at the Oscar. Is that true?

Yeah, which is crazy. That seems insane, but it's 100% true. How old was he? 29? Yeah. They do favor, you know, they go older with the actors than they do with the actresses. But no, like Eddie Redmayne won. He was like 27 or something.

No, he's not. Eddie Redmayne's older than you think he is. He's like 33. I thought he was the youngest winner ever when he won. No, it's still Adrian Brody who was 29 when he won. Oh, yeah. Fair enough. Okay.

Eddie Redmayne was like 33 when he won. He was 32, I think. He's still, right, which means he's now 34. But he seems like he's 12. Right, okay. Whereas for Best Actress, it's Quentin A. Wallace, who was 6 when they shot him. Well, that's nominee. I'm saying Tom Cruise was the youngest nominee ever, and he was 29.

There's a big difference between Best Actor and Best Actress. Oh, sure, sure. I need to look this up because you're confusing me. Because I'm interested. Throw out too many stats. You are. You're throwing out a lot. Okay. It's sure. I need to look this up because you're confusing me. And I mean, because I'm interested. Throw out too many stats. You are. You're throwing out a lot. Okay.

It's early. We don't usually record this early. But Tom Cruise, the narrative of Tom Cruise we've been talking about a lot, right? And I think this Jack Reacher franchise, this budding franchise,

you know, is very emblematic of the sort of weird space he's in right now. The sort of crossroads he's at in his career. The other thing this overlaps with is, we talked a lot about in our Bender Siege 2

dark podcast episode, that it was representative of a movie that kind of doesn't really exist anymore. And especially not at that level, and the equivalent is like the Jason Statham movies, which are a lot cheaper. You know? You're way off in the set. I don't know where you got this stat from, but it's not true.

It's not true. How old was Tom Cruise? I don't know, but he doesn't even make the top ten of youngest nominee. At the time? Yeah, at the time. I mean, there's a couple newer entries in here. Maybe he'd make the top ten. Who's the youngest of all time?

Jackie Cooper for Skippy in 1930. He was nine years old. So where did I hear this fucking stat? I have no idea. Mickey Rooney got two nominations when he was a teenager. John Travolta, 24 years old for Saturday Night Fever, is your youngest non-old-fashioned Oscar nominee. James Dean got two nominations before he died.

Where did I hear this fucking bullshit? Ryan Gosling. Orson Welles for Citizen Kane was only 26 years old. Heath Ledger was only 26 years old. So this is insane. Which is... I'm sorry, that was me. I said that to you.

Oh, yeah, Ben told me. Just for a second. Heath Ledger was only 26 when he made Brokeback Mountain. That's crazy. Fuck that. It sucks that he's dead. Okay.

That guy was a great actor. I don't know where you got that from, but when you said it, it just tripped like a huge red flag. I'll tell you who I got it from. I got it from our fucking producer. Oh, do you want to introduce him? Producer Ben?

Yeah. The Benducer? That's the men. Produer Ben? The men. The Poet Laureate? The Haas? Mr. Haasitive?

Mr. Positive? Wow, okay. Birthday Benny? Sure. The Tiebreaker? The Fuckmaster? Hello, Fennel? Yeah.

Our finest film critic, White Hot Benny. God, you're yelling a lot. What was the one we came up with last week? Soaking Wet Benny? I don't remember. Look, if it doesn't, it's been a couple weeks since we recorded. If it doesn't catch in our brains and the fans don't tweet it at us a lot, I feel like it hasn't survived.

Darwinism, right? It just didn't make it. I agree. Something like Wet Ben, I don't remember. We can't make these catchphrases, right? It just didn't make it. I agree. Something like Wet Ben. We can't make these catchphrases, I mean, these nicknames happen. They were all organically created. Oh, but here's one we came up with on our Terminator 2 episode

that has stuck. Dirt Bike Ben. Oh, God. That is pretty good. I feel like we didn't delve into it in the Terminator 2 episode enough, just how obviously Ben was young John Connor in the 90s. And still kind of is. But like, it's, yeahinator 2 episode enough, just how obviously Ben was young John Connor in the 90s.

And still kind of is. But like, it's, yeah, dirt bike, you know, listening to Public Enemy. What else were you doing? You were swiping candy bars from the, you know, Wawa. I don't know, Ben, come on. Yeah, shoplifting. I had a slingshot. Cool stuff.

Yeah, he was a mix between Bart Simpson and John Connor. Yeah, well, John Connor and Bart Simpson, they're inextricably linked. I looked up to both of them, so. Ben, what did you do with your slingshot? Why would you have a slingshot? You'd shoot Butterfinger babies at people. No, it's not good.

Oh, no. Really? What did you do? Did you, like, shoot at cars, like, on the highway or something? Yeah, I mean, we would shoot rocks onto the highway. And yeah, you know, we would shoot rocks at each other sometimes to just have fun. Oh, my God.

You know, it's pretty dangerous stuff. I'm still here, though, baby. You're still here. That is true. Here's what's not true. You are not Professor Crispy never and people keep on saying god it's tough because the audio is so crisp

and I go don't and then last week we did our crazy fucking time jump head fuck oh yeah we did our performance you mean for the abyss or no wait what are you talking about yeah no for Terminator 2 where we acted like oh yeah right right oh no it's Terminator 2 where we acted like... Oh, yeah, right, right.

Oh, no, it was for The Abyss we acted like we hadn't already. Well, I'm going to save the nickname. But people said, God, Ben's performance was so crisp in that. And it was like, don't even... Okay, fine. Don't! Jesus. He's graduated to certain titles over the series.

Mini-series. Producer Ben Kenobi. Kylo Ben yeah Ben Say Ben Nyshamalon uh he is

Say Benny Say Benny Thing I like it a lot Democracy reversed rigged rigged we know the fact now but yeah in the abyss

we pretended we hadn't reversed it yet right because it had to come before anyway right listen back to our wonderful archive

if you like any of this bullshit we're doing. I can't imagine why. Everyone loves it. Jack, oh, I already forgot. Jack Caster. Jack Reachcast. Jack Reachcast.

Never pod back. Here we are. We're going to talk about these movies that I feel like even to this day are, especially the first one, is just kind of largely dismissed, right? It has its fans. Yeah, it's the equivalent of an Under Siege movie in that it was a studio $60 million, big A-list star.

It was just more unusual because it came in 2012 when there's just less of those around, especially starring people like Tom Cruise. And everyone at the time was like, what the fuck is this movie? Because Tom Cruise, when he picks a movie, it always sort of feels like an event, right? Whether it's good or bad, he makes these strategic, like, choices where it's like, you're going to get an annual Tom Cruise movie and it's going to mean something. And Jack Reacher kind of felt like a toss off on its face. Right. You know, it was like, what is it? Was it just Tom Cruise with a leather jacket and a car?

What is this movie? It was just Tom Cruise with a leather jacket and a car? What is this movie? And I remember there were, my friend Alan Sepinwall, who's a TV critic for HitFix, the great Alan Sepinwall, loves the Jack Reacher book, right?

Uh-huh. Yeah, go ahead, don't bring your bagel, you bastard. Wait, you mean this bagel? Yeah. You mean the bagel-deucer? Producer bagel? No, no. Produer bagel? All right, stop.

Jack Reacher. I'm glad we had to start in Tulsa. Tyler Bagel. Can you stop? Say bagel thing. Dirt bike bagel. Go on. I heard it from him, and I think I heard it from a couple other fans of the books.

Tom Cruise, he's all wrong for Jack Reacher. Jack Reacher's supposed to be like 6'5", like this kind of jack reacher jack reacher's supposed to be like six five like this kind of hulking guy like he's supposed to be huge and really imposing he's supposed to be a physical threat like if you saw him you would be scared exactly and the shadow sort of like you know precedes him and i remember the trailer for jack reacher drop and it's just that scene in the first movie where he's about to fight all the guys and he's like just just to be clear you you wanted this you know and it's one of those it's kind of like a taken or i mean well we should talk about that this is in sort of that broad genre of like don't fuck with him movies

right but i mean it just seems so silly in the trailer you're like look i get that tom cruise is an action star i mean i i but come on like they're not gonna be scared of tom cruise like this is silly. Well, but to back up a little bit, there are 20 Jack Reacher books, right? I think 21. Really? I think 21 maybe just came out to coincide with the release of this. Uh, yeah, maybe.

There's a new one that just came out, I know. I just, I love the titles. Let me find the book series. Yeah. But they're a series of like, you know, essentially like airport paperbacks. 21, which is called Night School, is coming out next month. So yes there have been 20. The last one was called Make Me. Jack Reacher. Make Me.

They are essentially though like they're like you know airplane like you know beach read kind of like dad novels. Yeah absolutely. Much like James Patterson or you know Sue Grafton you know beach read kind of like dad novels yeah absolutely much like James Patterson or you know Sue Grafton you know

the kind of they pump them out maybe once a year it's just yeah it's at a once a year now it's at a twice a year pace

almost it's about a once a year but this is the character Lee Child has found absolutely he's kind of like

his Sherlock Holmes you know it's this guy you just want to place in different situations different cases. And he's got his sort of milieu and his world that he lives in.

The physical presence is a big part of the books. Yeah. One of the most oddest things about it is that Lee Child is a British author. Oh, that's very odd. And for some reason decided with this series. He's written other things. He wanted this character to be American. He wanted him to be a former military policeman.

wanted like this character to be american he wanted to be a former military policeman and like he wanted to write about like the midwest and the like you know the sort of small town kind of vibe in the u.s i don't know so there's a weird sort of fetishization there what it also is weird that like most people don't even know how a military policeman works and lee child's like no no former military police yeah right like he's he's working outside of jurisdiction about these movies so i mean because like i don't know how fucking i mean it's like no sense if a crime is committed within the you know environs of the u.s army then sure like the military cops investigate and then there's like jags who are like military lawyers and they go to like court marshals and stuff but like nobody it doesn't matter it's what's fun about it, right?

He can kind of do whatever he wants probably and we're just like, yeah, it's probably how military cops work, right? I don't know. And both of these movies concern cases. Yes, that's true. Military bases all over America, right? Both of these movies concern cases where the people at the

center of them are not on active duty. He doesn't solve cases of them are not on active duty. He doesn't solve cases of things that happen on the battlefield. No. It's like vets doing shit. Often, yes. Yeah, absolutely. Lee Child, I guess... U.S. Army Military Police Corps.

That is what they are called. I think people have tried to make Jack Reacher films for a little while just because if something's that successful and it goes on for that long, there's always sort of interest. Absolutely. And, I mean, we've seen it before, like the long-running James Patterson series where it was Morgan Freeman and then they – with Alex Cross movies. Don't cross Alex Cross. And then they tried to reboot it with Tyler Perry.

Don't cross Alex Cross. But that didn't work. Right. I'm trying to think of other recent examples of this. Well – These detective novels often weirdly don't translate. It's odd. Yeah. I think it's hard to make the characters as iconic as they are in the series.

Sure. You know, because the iconic part is sort of the structure and the format of the books. Yeah. And the characters is able to, you know, they sort of- This works better in TV, right? Yes, 100%. They're procedural. Yes, that's what you're saying.

Right. And you're right. Because there's a repetitive nature to it. Absolutely. Tom Cruise takes a liking and is like, I want to do Jack Reacher. That's my new franchise. That's my new franchise. That's how it works with Tom Cruise.

Even in his diminished stardom, which I would argue, you know, he's a little bit of a diminished star. You know, he wants to make something that's going to happen. Right. Now, like, as a counterpoint, Clive Cussler wrote Sahara, right? He freaked out, right? He sells the rights. They hire Matthew McConaughey.

He sues the studio that makes a horror because he's like, this character's important to me. He's somewhat autobiographical. I find it offensive. Wasn't he literally like, how dare you cast Matthew McConaughey? You're ruining my character. Yes, 100%. People won't buy the books now because of his stupid face. That was when Matthew McConaughey was at his career

bottom. One would expect that Lee Child would have a similar response to Tom Cruise playing Jack Reacher because he's physically so different. Right. No. Totally defended it. Not at all. Loved it. He's like, it doesn't matter that he's tall. Now he's short. Who cares? Right. Like, yeah. I don't think he said that.

Yeah, but he said, because you can never use the S word with Tom Cruise. But he sort of said, like, look, there are a lot of elements to the character. You know, a big part is the focus and just sort of like his precision. And that's the thing that Tom Cruise embodies really well. Sure. And he goes, the size thing is kind of irrelevant.

When you're writing a book, you write whatever the fuck you want. And he's not wrong. Right. But the interesting thing is he said, like, you know, there's no one who actually fits the physical specifications of what I described in the book. It's not a real person. Yeah, exactly. I can name you two actors right off the top of my head. Like, logically, Jack Reacher would be Liam Neeson or Michael Shannon.

Are both built like the Jack Reacher described in the books? I guess so. Shannon, I guess. Yeah. Shannon actually might be incredible. I think both of them would kill it. But obviously, you know. I think both of them would fucking kill it.

I'm not saying TC doesn't kill it. I think he kills it too. But I'm saying there are two guys who are Academy Award nominated actors, one of whom is a well-established action star with his own franchise who totally fits the specifications of what Jack Reacher is. But they were like, nah, Tom wants to do it. Right? Which is fascinating.

Now he makes this film, the first film in between Mission Impossible 4 and 5. Yeah. That is, Mission Impossible 4 come out uh the previous year 2012 is not a great year because rock of ages also comes out that year yeah he's a bad year that's the noise i made thinking about rock of ages he hadn't had a home run for a couple of years leading up to ghost protocol ghost protocol is a huge hit but before then it was night and day and Valkyrie and Lions for Lambs, which were all relative versions of bombs. I think Night and Day

did fine. You know, it didn't make enough money, but it's like a single and double worldwide. A single and two doubles. Valkyrie actually did weirdly well. $85 million for a movie nobody liked or saw, and that's where he meets Christopher McQuarrie. Yes. Well, that's the key thing that happened there, but also Valkyrie actually weirdly did $85 million for a movie nobody liked or saw.

And that's where he meets Christopher McQuarrie. Yes. Well, that's the key thing that happened there. But also, Valkyrie was the first Tom Cruise leading vehicle to not make $100 million in 15 years, 20 years. So it did pretty well, but it was still like, ooh, blooms off the rose a little bit. Yeah. Teams up with Christopher McQuarrie on that, who was a longtime collaborator. Brian collaborator brian singer directed right but that's like he wanted to work with brian singer brian singer's like here's my guy who wrote usual suspects well and they had this whole i they had this like boner for the idea that he looked a lot like the real german commander who tried to kill

hitler like they would like put these things online of like their face and profile it was like an anti-jack reacher situation yeah they were like look at him i mean it's perfect and i remember being hyped for that movie because it had such a good supporting cast It was like an anti-Jack Reacher situation. Yeah, they were like, look at him. I mean, it's perfect. And I remember being hyped for that movie because it had such a good supporting cast. It was like Branagh, Tom Wilkinson, Bill Nye, like all these fun British thesps and Tom Cruise playing Nazis. But then the accents are all

off. That movie's not good. And then of course you're watching it and you're like, oh, they're not going to kill Hitler because I know that because they didn't kill Hitler. And then you sort of realize like, why am I watching this movie? This movie is not interesting enough for, you know,

I'm going to disagree with you on one point. That movie is definitely BYOA and that's bring your own accent. Everyone just talks the way they do, which is weird. The opening of the film is like Tom Cruise writing a letter in German and you hear the voiceover in German and then it like cross fades into into him writing the letter in English and they're like, oh, so now everyone just talks in English. Yeah, it pulls that trick. The first 30 seconds of the movie are like, this is what they should be sounding like.

Right. And now we're just gonna let everyone talk the way they want to. Which, whatever. Whatever. Yeah. The one thing I want to disagree with you on is I do think there's a chunk of the movie where they think that they've killed Hitler. Sure. They don't realize that it didn't work.

Right. And I think there's genuine tension in that section of the movie even though you know how it ends. I agree with you. I think it does an okay job. There's like a 20 minute section of that movie that's kind of crackerjack to me. But they probably shouldn't have made the movie. No, it doesn't really matter.

Anyway, this is not Valkyr cast. But Macquarie's a big deal. He's a big turning point because then he like teams up with Macquarie and save for Night and Day, Macquarie works on pretty much every movie he does from here on out. Wait, no, he didn't work on Rock of Ages. Ghost Pro. Yes, he did. What did he do on Ghost Pro?

Uncredited. Here's the thing. He becomes Tom Cruise's uncredited guy who he brings in to work on every script. Sure. Okay? I think Night and Day was sort of shock and cramp, but maybe he worked on that. But I know Ghost Probe was the big thing,

because at the time, when they hired Jeremy Renner, the whole idea was passing the torch. Yeah, I know. Tom Cruise was kind of damaged goods. Paramount still wanted Mission Impossible to be a viable franchise, and so we're going to introduce another guy, and this franchise is going to pass the torch. The script wasn't working.

They were under the gun to get it. He went, I like Macquarie. We did Valkyrie together. Brought him in. Macquarie looked at the script and said, first of all you can't get rid of Tom Cruise. He's this franchise. This and that. And Tom Cruise has said that he totally saved that film. That's cool. I mean, Brad Bird, let's not discount the great work of Brad Bird.

But he needed a script to work with. Yeah. And the script for Ghost Protocol is some fun bullshit. Right. Yeah. Right. Ghost Protocol is a wonderful movie. It's one of the best movies ever made.

McQuarrie, by his own account, was sort of in director jail. Because of... Way of the Gun. Way of the Gun, which costs like a weird amount of money, right? Yeah. And he had been... That was a bad idea. Writing stuff. But won an Oscar very young. Directed a movie that bombed really hard. For writing usual suspects. Way of the Gun. Way of the Gun, which costs like a weird amount of money, right? Yeah. And he had been writing stuff, but like won an Oscar very young,

directed a movie that bothered him really hard. For writing the usual suspects. Yeah. Right. And then, you know, was sort of bouncing around and working on other stuff, but kind of like,

it felt like he was maybe a guy past his prime. You know, like he had had his moment and it left. It did feel that way. It felt like he was a flash in the pan, kind of a Stephen Gagin, like someone who was always going to stick around and polish scripts and, you know, make his money in Hollywood. But it's like he was a flash in the pan, kind of a Steven Gagin, like someone who's always going to stick around and polish scripts

and make his money in Hollywood. But it's like he's not going to have another usual suspect. He's not going to be a noter. And the director thing was a non-starter. Right? And then Tom Cruise takes this liking to him. He works on Ghost Protocol. He apparently saves the script, gives Brad Bird the meat to be able to turn into

a fine steak, right? He gives him the fine cut of beef. I get you. The slab of beef that Brad Bird massages and fucking grills, you know? Pepper crust, right? Uh-huh. Puts a little hollandaise on top. Uh-huh.

And then gives us a fork and knife and we go, mm, ghost protocol. I would say he gave him some pulled pork and Brad Bird somehow turned that into a beef steak. I think Brad Bird did, but it doesn't matter. I think, I mean, let's carry on. But then, Cruise is like, you know what, let's give Macquarie another shot. He has the sway to go, Jack Reacher, it's sort of a low risk, it's a

$60 million Tom Cruise franchise. That's a budget Tom Cruise movie. Let him direct it, right? R-rated, Do what you want. Here's your book. Hit book. Work with that. Macquarie writes it himself.

And the movie opens small, but multiplies well, and does well enough overseas. 15 mil. We'll do the box office game. And multiplies to 80, 218 worldwide. Fine. Not the kind of thing people are excited about at the time. And I think people are kind of just doing the like, why is he making, you know, like, I feel like the same murmur about Tom Cruise's career, which is essentially, he's good in

the Mission Impossibles. Everything else is kind of by the wayside at this point. It's still ongoing. Right. But the big thing that comes of it is Cruise is impressed enough that he hires Macquarie. He knocks him up to Mission Impossible. Which at the time was also a weird move

because here's this real director-driven franchise. Yeah. I think everyone was baffled, but most people, including me, had not seen Jack Reacher. Right. And I'd seen Jack Reacher, and I was like, interesting. Sure. And then I, we've argued about this many times, think that Rogue Nation's the best of the five films.

I think Ghost Protocol's better, but I think Rogue Nation is fantastic. Love it. Love it. And I remember I saw it with no expectations. All the advertising was, he hangs off of a plane! Which is the opening of the movie. All they wanted, yeah. You to know was that he hangs off of a plane which is the opening of the movie all they wanted you to know

was that he hung off of a plane he does hang off of a plane and it's totally cool there were like five minute commercials in front of your movies where they were like he really hung off the plane

and they cut to Tom Cruise and you're like I sure did and you're just like I mean I had this whole theory that I might have even talked about on the podcast at the time

where they're like they know the marketing knows the movie knows that Tom Cruise is crazy. Or at least that people perceive Tom Cruise as being crazy. So why not just have him be crazy? Own it. Yeah, exactly. Totally own it in a cool way.

But like everyone in Rogue Nation essentially is like, what the fuck is this guy? He's crazy. That's why I think Rogue Nation is the best one, because they contextualize Tom Cruise the best. And it's the one film where they finally make Ethan Hunt into a character. Ghost Protocol's so good. Anyway. I like Ghost Protocol a lot. Ghost Protocol. Ghost Protocol's better set pieces. I think Rogue Nation's a better

film. Some people like 3 best which is weird. I know. But now McQuarrie's back and now he's doing Mission Impossible 6. 3's good. Yeah. He's doing Mission Impossible 6. I know. But now Macquarie's back and now he's, you know, he's doing Mission Impossible 6 which is, yeah, yeah.

He's doing Mission Impossible 6 which is the first time a director's carried over and they're carrying over Rebecca Ferguson and now it's gonna become a little more serialized but he's clearly a guy

who has options who's back as a director. you know, because I feel like that's what they did with Quantum of Solace where they were like, that was so good,

we should continue this story right where we left it, right? And I don't know, man. Surprise is a key element. And here's what's crazy for me too. Then they were like, okay, new thing, Skyfall. And then everyone loved Skyfall and they were like, oh, let's do that again.

They made the exact same mistake. Except they even made it bigger because they kept the director and everything. Which made sense. It did make sense to bring Mendis back. Sky. I know. Which made sense. It did make sense to bring Mendes back. Skyfall was special. Like it made sense but it also didn't make sense. Yeah. But Macquarie's like a power player now. I mean I think

everyone's recognized that Macquarie is Now they should have recognized it with Jack Reacher. They should have. Because I'm like you know what I want to watch a fun little movie and I never saw Jack Reacher and I know some people like it, including Griffin Newman. Love it. And I like Tom Cruise.

I do. I'm sorry. I love him. I've always loved Tom Cruise. I always will. Yeah. And I do. I know he does all kinds of bizarre shit, and I know he's involved with a religion,

quote-unquote religion that terrorizes people. It makes no sense. Judaism. religion that you know terrorizes people it makes no sense judaism you want to describe my reaction to that joke physical david did it was almost like the home alone face but the hands were higher up on the face yeah like my uh my my palms were on my yeah it was like the monkey doing See No Evil. I sort of twisted back and went into a corner. Anyway. Paint Grimace, this maid in this padded room we're in.

He looked like Rainfield from Dracula. We record in a padded cell, essentially. We do. It's true. Jack Reacher begins with Jai Courtney. Uh-oh. I'm like, no, no, no. I don't like Jai Courtney.

We've talked about him on this podcast multiple times. This big-headed fool. Handsome sack of potatoes. It does feel like a classic rookie move. To open your throat for Jai Courtney. Fuck! I died again! God damn it!

I feel like it's 2012, so this is probably the start of Jai Courtney's Hollywood career. I think Good Day to Die Hard had come out that year, or it came out right after, maybe. You know what? I think it came out right after. I think Jack Reacher was December, and Good Day to Die Hard came out February. But this is what I remember. It's his first movie.

Oh, really? It's his first film apart from Stone Bros. He'd been in one of the Spartacus shows. This is what I remember, is when they announced they were doing a a new Die Hard and it was like John McClane and Son. Right. There was a studio shortlist of actors and it was like five actors who were interesting ideas and who the fuck is Jai Courtney? Right. Right?

James Badge Dale was on that list. Liam Hemsworth was on that list. I mean, fuck that. The guy I thought was really interesting who I think would have been the choice was Aaron Paul. Yeah he would have been fun.

Because I think that movie was a piece of shit though and it's probably good that Aaron Paul wasn't disaster. But I'm saying if you're going to try to

do that the whole point is don't pick a guy who's an action guy that's what was cool about Bruce Willis. We've sidetracked but you're correct. Right.

Because the whole problem with A Good Day to Die Hard is like yeah he's beefier than Bruce Willis. It should be Aaron Paul who's got a chip on his shoulder. Anyway, anyway, anyway. When they announced Jack Courtney, I was like, who the fuck is this guy? So I remember going to see

Jack Reacher. His name comes up in the title and I was like, who the fuck is like... Because even at the time it was like, this guy's got a dumb head. He's got a dumb, stupid head. He's got the dumbest head i've ever seen he is he's sixth build it's his it's the best performance he's ever given what do you what do you like him in yeah what do you what are you weighing in against

the water diviner the wire diviner though that diviner though yeah the podcast diviner that's the movie that russell crowe directed right our I haven't seen it. Our next main series, by the way, is Russell Crowe. And we're just doing the Water Diviner. In and out. Because I haven't seen, yeah, I haven't seen Unbroken. I've seen that. He's not bad in it, but he's not good. He's like okay in it.

Yeah, so I've seen him in- He's actively bad in Terminator. I've seen him in Terminator. I've seen him in Suicide Squad. He's bad in Good Day. And I saw the first Divergent. Did I? I think I did. I've seen him in Terminator. I've seen him in Suicide Squad. He's bad in Good Day. And I saw the first Divergent. Did I? I think I did. Oh, I haven't seen those. I will say

again, I think he would be good in a Suicide Squad that was good. I think he's kind of... He could be. I mean, whatever. Entertaining in that movie. He plays Charlie in this movie who is an assassin. Yeah. He has a sniper rifle. Yeah. And he drives up to a parking garage,

takes out his sniper rifle. This is like a wordless first five minutes of the film. And in like a 10, I mean, it's five, I guess. It feels so long because it's all told through the lens of his scope, through his scope. And let's talk about lensing, by the way.

Caleb Deschanel. Caleb D! One of the greats. I love it when we get the D. Mac Daddy giving us the D, right? Caleb Deschanel, great cinematographer. He shot the right stuff. He shot the natural.

He shot The Passion of the Christ. But here's the thing with Caleb D. It doesn't work that much. No. It's a rare treat when we get the D. I know. You know what he lensed this year? What?

Rules don't apply. Oh, see. The Warren Beatty movie. That alone makes me more excited. Did you see the trailer for that thing, though? I did. The posters, and I was like, oh, this is about shadowy Hollywood 50s shit. It won't be good, but at least.

And then you see the poster, and it's like, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot. Howard Hughes is sure weird, but he's going to get these two cuties to like it. It's the stupidest trailer I ever saw. I'm hoping it's a movie that's impossible to cut a trailer for. Quite possibly. Because the trailers are so unfocused. They're selling that, but they're not coherent.

He's not an easy director to cut a trailer. No, he's not. He also shot that movie three years ago. So they've had a hard time. He's been editing it forever. Yeah, who can say what's going to happen with that one? Caleb D's great we don't get the D a lot

love that D we get his daughters a lot but we don't get him lensing a big a big screen his daughters are Zoe and

Emily Deschanel and Bones Deschanel yeah and already so we're seeing like you know for a sort of action programmer

took a sesame seed off your phone this is you wanna know why we're the two friends you want proof show don't tell who's programmer. Took a sesame seed off your phone. You want to know why we're the two friends? You want proof? Show, don't tell? Who's going to fucking take a sesame seed

off your iPhone screen? Just lifted it off. Already, the fucking cinematography in this film. It's gorgeous. It's really a gorgeous movie. Guys, it's really a film that you should see. It's a really good looking movie. Here's the other thing I like about Macquarie.

You see it in Rogue Nation. You see it in Rogue Nation. You see it in this. Okay? Every cut matters. Every shot matters. Oh yeah, definitely. He makes puzzle films, right?

Edited by Kevin Stitt. They're very precise. They're like clockwork, you know? You look at the opera sequence in Rogue Nation and you look at the opening of this. And it's very methodical. The process, the guns, the bullets, the loading up. There's a tension just...

Here's this big-headed fuck. He's got a big head. I came here for Tom Cruise. There's no dialogue. Here's some actor I don't even fucking know. He beat Dominic Purcell in Hollywood's big head competition that year. Finally, Purcell got knocked off. It's a Dominic Purcell joke for you guys.

Big head weekly. What a big head he has. Yeah. I can't believe he didn't get cast as Big Head on Silicon Valley. Nelson Big Head Baguette. I got you. So from my purview

when I'm watching a movie, I'm like, here's this guy who they're saying is going to be diehard. And from your purview watching this movie, you're like,

here's this guy I already know I fucking hate. I hate him. And you're starting with him and the movie's like- And then also, it's a cool mystery

where it's like, okay, he just starts shooting people. But this whole sequence is shot just from him and you're starting with him and then also it's a cool mystery where it's like okay he's just he's but he just starts shooting people but this whole sequence is shot just from the scope of his rifle like once he sets the gun up long silent no dialogue the scope of the rifle you see him like panning across like this promenade yeah it's the allegheny river i think it's in pittsburgh and he's yeah he's panning across the pond. He sees there's people on a bench. There's a woman walking

with a shopping bag or something. There's someone with a baby. And McQuarrie takes the time because he wants these people to stick in your mind. You're seeing them the size of ants, right? But he dresses them well enough. He gives them strong enough action. He pairs them off. Behaviorally, you remember, here's the mother.

Here's the guy on the bench. Here's this right and there's like at least 90 seconds before any bullets are fired yeah where you're just like who's he looking for he puts a quarter in the parking meter right so you know he has 15 minutes or whatever yeah scanning scanning scanning who's he looking for and then he just starts shooting everybody. Yeah. Methodically killing everybody. It's very brutal. It's very good. It seems random.

You don't understand what he's doing. He shoots like nine people? Five people. He kills five people. He misses a couple of times, I think. Or maybe just once. Or doesn't. Well, that's the thing.

Right. So, all right. It's great. We can't just sum up the plots of both of these movies. No, but the opening is important to talk about. The opening is just so crucial. Right? So then we go to, they find-

Cut to Detective Emerson. Right. Played by David Yellow. Oh, God. This movie's fucking rolling with a stacked supporting cast. You know, I almost said played by Academy Award nominee David Yellow, but he isn't. I know. And it's a real bummer. And here's the other thing. Yellow on the rise, I mean, he by Academy Award nominee David Yellow, but he isn't. I know.

And it's a real bummer. And here's the other thing. A yellow-o on the rise. I mean, he's the anti-Jai Courtney. He was this guy who was starting to book parts, and it was like, who's this a yellow-o guy? Okay, so the weirdest thing about a yellow-o, and I've interviewed him. He's a lovely man. He was on this show called Spooks, which the Americans know as MI5 because they didn't want to call it Spooks in this country, understandably. Which was like a spy show

in the UK that also had Matthew McFadden and Keely Hawes and a lot of cool actors. Peter Firth. He was awesome on it. Very cute. He's cute. Right? And then he got killed off on Spooks because he wanted to leave the show. So they killed him off.

I remember being like, eh, that's too bad because I don't know that this, you know, what, the fourth lead from Spooks? And then he just starts popping up doing impeccable American accents. Yeah. He's in, what's he in? He's in Last King of Scotland. He's in Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

He's in The Help for a minute. He's a preacher in that movie, I think. Yeah, he's pretty good in that. And he's in, notably. He's in Red Tails. Yes. Produced by Big Bad George Lucas. More and More is like the most well-cast movie. It's true. They just couldn't

make it gel, but it's such a good cast. But they had Michael B. Jordan. They had a yellow... They had all these guys right before they popped. They had Cuba right before he was gonna pop again. Yeah. Terrence Howard right before he was gonna pop again. It's true. It's crazy. That movie the cast is insane. Nate Parker right before he was going to pop again. Yeah. Terrence Howard right before he was going to pop again. It's true. It's crazy.

That movie, the cast is insane. Nate Parker right before he imploded. Yeah. But almost popped. Oh, boy. Let's not talk about that. Nope. He's in Lincoln this year.

And this year also he's in Middle of Nowhere, which is Ava DuVernay's first movie and is really worth seeing. Fantastic movie. Well, these are the two key films. So he does Middle of Nowhere with Ava DuVernay. Right. Which he gets like an Indie Spirit nomination for. And he does The Paperboy with Lee Daniels. Fantastic movie. Well, these are the two key films. So he does Middle of Nowhere with Ava DuVernay. Which he gets like an Indie Spirit nomination for. And he does The Paperboy with Lee Daniels.

He does. That's right. Lee Daniels is at that point in time attached to do Selma. Yeah. And he goes, I got the guy to play MLK. Yeah. And he sells Paramount on a yellow being MLK. And then so the script passes over to Ava DuVernay.

She reworks it and stuff. No, but here's what happens. Okay. Tell me what happened. He pitches a yellow boat to Paramount. Paramount's like, yup, good go. Lee Daniels leaves Selma. They're like, I guess the movie's not happening.

And a yellow boat's like, I got a director for you. Because he had made Middle School. A yellow boat gets Ava DuVernay hired. And she reworks it and I think makes it better. Oh, yeah. She reworks the whole thing but it's pretty impressive for someone who wasn't

a star at that point to be able to retain the lead character. Amen. Because he's so fucking good. Dude rules. He's so fucking good. He's also in the butler

in between those two. He's really good in the butler. Love him. He's great in Most Violent Year. He's great in Queen of Cotway, right? Oh my god.

I haven't seen that but you were reading about it. Can I do 30 second sidebar? Go see fucking Queen of Cotway, right? I haven't seen that, but you were raving about it. Can I do 30 second sidebar? Go see fucking Queen of Cotway. It's barely still in theaters. Disney dumped it. It's the loveliest fucking movie. It's epic humanist storytelling.

It rules. Spoiler alert. I can't foresee a situation in which a yellow-o doesn't get one of my five blankie nominations for best actor. He rules in that movie. Movie rules. Go see Queen of my five blankie nominations for best actor. Yeah. He rules in that movie. Yeah. Movie rules. Go see Queen of Clotway if you want to fucking like humanity.

So here's what happens. Detective Emerson, played by David Yellow-o, shows up at this crime scene. He finds a quarter used to pay for parking, lifts a fingerprint from it. Whoa. Once again, the movie's still wordless. What a smarker. We're just watching him walk onto this. It's wordless. We're not saying that.

There's no talking. None. Just crisp lensing from the D. You're just getting him walk onto the scene. We're not saying that. There's no talking. None. Just crisp lensing from the D. You're just getting a deep D. They lift a fingerprint from the quarter. It points to an army sniper who we've been cutting to making bullets in his basement. Played by his name. Joseph Sikora is the actor.

Is a great character actor. Good actor. He played one of the white supremacists on True Detective, that famous six-minute continuous shot sequence. He's the guy with the mustache. He's a really good character. He's great. So he's a former sniper.

Yeah. That's why the military police would be involved, I guess. I don't know. David, what am I doing? Yeah, you're reaching. They arrest him because it all seems perfect right his fingerprints on the thing

he's like a sniper he's making bullets in his basement they arrest him he doesn't say anything uh huh writes on his notepad

right they give him a legal pad don't they beat the shit out of him because he goes into a coma no he goes into a coma after he does this okay he writes on a legal pad don't they beat the shit out of him because he goes into a coma no he goes into a coma after he does this he writes on a legal pad get Jack Reacher and then when Reacher shows up

he's in a coma so then David Yel I swear we're not going to go through the entire movie but the reason we're going this in depth is because this movie has the best set up in history this is all the first 20 minutes and it's really beautiful. And who are we not seeing at this point? Jack Reacher?

David, tell them what I'm doing. He's miming masturbation and I guess reaching. I'm jacking and reaching. He was doing this a lot at the screening. And everyone loved it. The audience applauded. They turned around. They shone flashlights in my face, okay?

So there's a scene we now have. That's a good sigh from Ben on the pod. Good sigh, Ben. Nice sighing. Academy Award nominee Rosamund Pike. Academy Award nominee Ben Hosling. Yeah, yeah. Rosamund who is not yet an Academy Award nominee.

Right. And then we have Academy Award nominee Richard Jenkins. The greatest. He's the DA. Right. He's prosecut have Academy Award nominee Richard Jenkins. The greatest. He's the DA. Right. He's prosecuting this fucker. She's his daughter. She's his daughter

although we don't realize that anyway immediately but we realize it pretty quickly and she's been assigned the unenviable task of defending a man

who basically is you know They're like open and shut. Yeah. This is done. Right. And then they're like he did write down

the one thing on the note. This is pretty much the first dialogue scene we're getting in the movie and it's maybe 15 minutes in. Right. Yeah. This is done, right? And then they're like, he did write down the one thing on the note. This is pretty much the first dialogue scene we're getting in the movie and it's maybe 15 minutes in, right? Sure. And it's like,

who the fuck is Jack Reacher? Okay, I just want to read some of this right here because I found this. Okay, all right, good. Who the hell is Jack Reacher? Jack Reacher, born Jack,

not John, no middle name. He's a ghost. No driver's license, current or expired, no residence, current or former, no credit cards,

no credit history, no P.O. box, cell phone, email, nothing. And she goes, can you at least tell me who he is? No, I can tell you who he was. Blood military, born and raised on bases around. Mother was a French national, father in the court. His first trip to the United States was to attend West Point. Four years later, he ships out for good. Iraq, Afghanistan, Balkans, you name it. Served with distinction, Silver Star, Bright Star, Legion of Mer for good. Iraq, Afghanistan, Falcons, you name it. Served with distinction. Silver Star, Bright Star, Legion of Merit, Defiance, Defense Superior Service Medal. Have to look that one up.

And a Purple Heart. Spent the bulk of his service in military police. Brilliant investigator, probably a troublemaker too. Demoted to captain. Vouched his way back to major. And two years ago, he resigns. After a literal lifetime in the military, he just up and quits. And then for only the second time in his life,

he enters the United States and simply disappears. She goes, dead maybe? Not according to Social Security and a bank lifetime in the military, he just up and quits. And then for only the second time in his life, he enters the United States and simply disappears. She goes, dead maybe? Not according to Social Security and a bank account in Virginia. His pension is deposited monthly, and someone is making the occasional withdrawal. All wire transfers. Can't find out where. Without a federal warrant. Can't drive or fly, at least not under his real name.

Any warrants? Record is clean. Oh, come on. Guys, this is hard to find. This is like fucking transcribed from the thing and there are a lot of typos. The point is, they give this fucking speech. This is how Yellow Woe is giving this speech, doing a great job.

And under this, we're seeing Jack Reacher in shadows, right? He wakes up in bed next to a beautiful woman. Oh, right, Tom Cruise is straight. He wears that uncomfortably in this movie, I would say. Right? Yes. And then he like goes to a Goodwill and he takes the clothes off his back.

He buys a new outfit. He donates the old outfit. That's no comment on Tom Cruise's personal life, just his performance in the film. He doesn't have a lot of chemistry with either of the women in either of his movies. No. Throws out his cell phone. You're seeing him on the Greyhound bus. It's like this guy's like a fucking ghost.

Yeah. And they go through this whole speech about how insane he is and how untrackable he is. Right. And he goes, so how do we find him? And they go, you don't. Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Sir, I have a Jack Reacher here to see you. Boom. Best movie of all

time. Right? It's true. And now at minute 15, Jack Reacher answers. Yes! Yes! Who is he? I want to know! That speech goes on four times longer than what I read. It's such a tease. It's such a great tease for the audience where the minute he walks in, yes, it's Tom Cruise. We've seen Tom Cruise before.

He's a little short. He looks a little stocky these days. You shouldn't be excited, but it has, after 30 years of Tom Cruise, you're still like, I want to see! Where is he? Ranger! I want to see Jack where is he? Reacher! I want to see Jack Reacher! But here's the other key,

okay? Because from this point on, Jack Reacher teams up with Rosamund Pike. They're trying to clear the name. She's like, it's open and shut. This guy did it.

Jack Reacher's like, no, he didn't. And it's like a fucking, it's a mystery, right? Sure. You have scenes with Jack Reacher at a bar. He says,

explains how he's going to beat everyone up. He does it. He does some fucking cool car chases. Turns out the guy at the head of the pyramid is fucking Werner Herzog, which we'll get to in a second. Yeah, I was going to say, we got to get to that. But at this point, the movie's

pretty standard about color. It's cool, though, because it's one of the, he's like a magic man. It's like, Reacher doesn't believe this guy is innocent because he knows this guy from Afghanistan where he was kind of like a cold-blooded psychopath. Right. Reacher tried to put him away.

That's why the guy called for him because he knew if anyone was going to get him out of this frame job, it was Jack fucking Reacher. The one guy who tried to get him. Exactly. In the cell. And so it's like, I would say it's like a lot of mysteries, mystery movies, like it's pretty formulaic in terms of just how it plays out where it's like Reacher's like no no this this guy did it i believe it he did it yeah he makes rosamund pike like talk to the victims you know he seems to have this weird sort of like you know kind of raging morality where he's just like he's very angry that people are dead well here's he's angry that this guy is out and about he feels like he failed like that this guy you know could about. He feels like he failed, like that this guy, you know, could do this again. It's two things at the same time.

He has a raging morality, but he also is condescending to literally everyone he ever comes into communication with. Jack Reacher is like very superior to everybody, you know, in a very quiet, calm way. He thinks everyone else is like a fucking noob. Yeah.

But something's, something's eventually clicking for him. Oh yeah. I mean, okay. you're doing the reaching thing again. Yeah, it's his last name. And, of course, he starts to dig, and no, it's a sinister conspiracy masterminded by a Russian man called The Zek. Right, which means the prisoner. The prisoner, who is a Werner Herzog with one eye gone. He's got a milky eye.

He's missing an eye. He has one eye good. My least favorite kind of eye. He has no fingers, or at least he's missing several fingers. I think he's maybe got none. I'm trying to keep it. He's low on fingers. Let me count my head.

I think he's got zero fingers left. And he doesn't do a lot. But God, is he good. He's fantastic. And I feel like at the time, there was some talk among critics of like, yeah, Jack Reacher's no good. It's weird that Werner Herzog plays the villain.

And then that was kind of all. They acknowledged it. It is weird, but he's incredible. It's not like Werner Herzog's, like, a massive star, but they did not really promote that he was in the movie at all, which was odd. Right? Because he's the master. Like, he's the big bad in the movie.

Yeah. He has this amazing monologue where he talks about, he explains the finger thing. Yeah. He tests one of his, like, underlings. Yeah, he's from, like, some Siberian gulag or whatever. And, yeah, he's like, oh, right. Your will to survive. Michael Raymond James, he's from some Siberian gulag or whatever. It's about how your world has survived.

Michael Raymond James, who's a great actor, he's on Terriers, and he's in the first season of True Blood, is one of his henchmen who botches the job of killing Reacher?

Rosamund Pike? Somebody, I can't remember. And so he's like, you must cut off your... I can't do Burner. No, you have to eat them off. He tells the story about how he was stuck on the top of mountain and his other the other guys died but he survived because he ate his own fingers for nourishment right and it's like either i shoot you

or you eat the finger and the guy is like do you have a knife and he's like i did not have a knife when i was on the mountain you know he gives the very burner you should get pft in here man right yeah i was stuck on the mountain i did what I had to do to survive. Which, the crazy thing, I don't know if you know this, that speech was not in the script. No, he was just chatting. That was actually an off-camera conversation. They just had someone running some film. That's the thing.

A PA came up to Werner Herzog and was like, hey, Werner, we just broke for lunch, so if you want, Crafty's over there. And he was like, I do not need to eat when I was stuck in a mountain in Siberia. Jack rolled the camera. Yo, Caleb. Yeah, Caleb. Get the V in here. Caleb, just start rolling.

I did what I had to do to survive. An amazing, amazing performance, right? Yeah. And it's like, the beauty of it is, here's Tom Cruise, who's all about, like, movie star, like, obfuscation. You know, like, here's, like, you know, he wants to create the image of what he is. And here's, like, Werner Herzog, who is, like, a violent realist. Yeah, absolutely. You know, the reality of the world.

Right. And how, like, doomed we are. And, like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, he in. And here's a movie that's leading to the two of them coming face to face. And Tom Cruise, who's like all movie star smoke and mirrors. Absolutely. And Werner Herzog, who's just like a fatalistic documentary filmmaker. What's kind of awesome about him is the villain. He doesn't ever kill anyone or do anything. He stands in one scene.

He sits in another. He talks. Right. And he has some sort of magical control over a lot of the people in the movie. Jai Courtney, spoiler alert. Seriously, guys, if you want to watch the movie, go watch the movie.

Go watch the movie. Spoiler alert, David Yellow. They do a nice fake-out, too, where they make you think that Jenkins... I knew it wasn't Jenkins because it's too obvious. Too decent. He's got a beautiful baby face. Yeah, big old Jenkins. I don't know why I called old Jenkins. Big old Jenkins. I don't know why I called him that.

Big Dick Jenkins. Yeah, Big Dick Jenkins. And it's all through performance. Right. And it works. It works. Of course he has. He's fucking psychic.

He's the greatest. And the final showdown, he's just sitting in a chair in a tractor trailer. The final showdown is great i would say like the action sequence itself like yeah or reacher driving the car into the quarry but like it is such a 70s or 80s whatever hollywood actually they a quarry like it's it's so low-fi like they're no big set pieces hanging off a plane or jumping from the burj dubai or what you know like it's just like he drives his car to a car. He kills like six people.

Jack Richard punches people. He drives a car well. Yeah. He gives the speech about, I mean, to drink your blood from a boot. There's also that great sequence in the middle where he gets in the bar fight where they're trying to, they've been hired to kill him. Yeah. That's which we talked about already where he's like, you wanted this. He's condescending to everyone.

He's kind of a dick. He doesn't understand humanity and he's like an immovable force right i called him in my review which you should read on theatlantic.com of never go back of the sequel i called him an oblong hulk which i thought was good i think you nailed it on that one okay he's sort of small but he's also big it's weird yeah uh literally my only complaint about the first movie is that he doesn't punch verner herzog in the face no well but the end is great where they've got him

I just want one shot of Tom Cruise punching Werner Herzog for history I know for like the national I'm not with you you know what

the Library of Congress should have that art must triumph and the way it ends is beautiful which is the Zach is like yes you have defeated me

but who gives a shit and I go to prison like I don't know like he sort of lays out for Reacher like I might not even get convicted is like, yes, you have defeated me, but who gives a shit? Can I go to prison? I don't know. He sort of lays out for Reacher, I might not even get convicted. You don't have a lot. You killed all the witnesses because you're crazy.

Yeah, because you're fucking... And Reacher is essentially like, you're right. Bam, shoots him in the face. And he's like, I'm out of here. And that's the end of the movie. And just as quickly, he was gone. Jack Reacher is fucking the man with no name. You know? Like, these are westerns.

These are modern day westerns. They can't find him. No one can call him, but he shows up when they need him. Yes. And just as quickly as his job is done, he disappears. And the best thing about the movie, or not the best, but a cool thing about the movie is that at the end, Barr, the guy who's framed, the sniper who was framed, is innocent of these crimes.

The crimes were committed because they were killing one person. Right. bar the guy who's framed yeah the sniper who is framed and is innocent of these crimes the crimes were committed because they were killing one person right and the others were all like collateral damage to make it look like a random yeah which is great which is great it's a cover um uh he x he confesses anyway and goes to prison for the crime because he's more afraid of not confessing because he then he thinks jack reacher will just fucking kill him anyway. Jack Reacher. Go see it. It's long. It's 2 hours and 10 minutes long. It's a little slow

at times. It doesn't matter. It's great. It rules. I'll say it gets better the second time. I saw it in theaters. I saw it with my friend Alex Perlin. We just go see a movie almost every weekend. We were like, what haven't we seen? I guess Jack Reacher. We kind of went indifferently. I was like this is surprisingly good and then i watched it on netflix with friends like a couple months later and i was like no wait this movie rules

like this movie's the number one best um modest success he kept on saying that he wanted to make a into a franchise but it seemed like maybe that wouldn't happen right it didn't seem like it made enough money in between reacher and reacher 2 he makes oblivion which did well was hated no it made 89 on 120 million budget overseas overseas it made 200 so you know it 286 it did it did okay but certainly no one's excited about that oblivion's a fascinating movie and I would love to talk about it sometime. Have you ever seen it? No. Concept art, the movie, is the best way to put that. Sounds like Tron Legacy. Exactly.

But I like both those movies. I like certain things about both those movies. He's interesting. Melissa Leo plays a tetrahedron. Oh, cool. I will watch it then. She literally plays an evil tetrahedron. Cool.

Yeah. And how about Edge of Tomorrow? The fucking best, which Macquarie punches up. Fantastic film. And I think he's credited as a writer on that, right? Yes, along with the Butterworths. Right, but by all accounts, Macquarie is the one who really elevated that script.

So goes the legend. Based on a Japanese manga called All You Need Is Kill. Yeah. Or maybe not a manga. It's like a novel. It's like an illustrated Kill. Yeah. Or maybe not a manga. It's like a novel. It's like an illustrated novel or something. I think it's different. There's a term that's like a light novel or something.

It's a bad name. Not the best name. Yeah. It's sort of forgettable right away. You're talking about Edge of Tomorrow, colon, live, die, repeat, colon, All You Need Is Kill. Uh-huh. Yeah. Colon, Groundhog War.

That movie's the best. I love that movie. It would be in my top 10 of 2014. Emily Blunt's incredible in it. It's the rare movie where Tom Cruise lets himself be just like a charming motherfucker. A lovable jerk. Kind of like an old 90s Tom Cruise performance.

I think it's Tom Cruise's number one best performance of all time. No, Jerry Maguire. But it's up there. That's my three. Jerry Maguire. Magnolia is my two. He's great.

Great Magnolia. But he's great Magnolia. What a performance that is. I don't even care. It's great. I don't even care. I don't even care. I don't even care.

And then Rogue Nation. Rogue Nation last year. Great. This year, what's his movie? Jack Reacher, Never Go Back. Ooh, really, Tom? We're going back to that well? You yourself said Never Go Back in the title.

Well, yes. Macquarie, not on this, because Macquarie is now a Mission Impossible man. So who does he get? Joel Zwick? No, Ed Zwick. What are you talking about, Joel Zwick? That, Ed Zwick. What are you talking about? Who's Joel Zwick?

That is somebody. Right? Now I have to look him up. Joel Zwick is a director who does TV, but he directed My Big Fat Greek Wedding. And the Fat Albert movie. That's correct. There we go.

And something called Second Sight? He might have. John Larroquette and Bronson Pinochow or whatever. He might have been a better choice for Jack Reacher, Never Go Back. Because. Despite popular misconception, according to Wikipedia, not related to Edward Zwick. Oh, okay. No, so Cruz brings in for Jack Reacher, Never Go Back.

I guess Macquarie's busy on Mission Impossible, which is too bad because I'd love to see him come back. Me too. There's puns to be made here. But he goes, Cruz goes to the guy who made The Last Samurai with him. It's too bad because I'd love to see him come back. Me too. There's puns to be made here. Yeah. But he goes, Cruise goes to the guy who made The Last Samurai with him, Edward Zwick. Everyone's favorite Tom Cruise movie. Nobody. Sake!

Bad movie. Bad movie. Bad director. Bad director. Here's some Zwick's. Glory. Okay. You know, sort of like a decent Oscar-y kind of movie. Glory's like a decent he's made probably his best film right uh legends of the fall uh-huh

i haven't seen that i think it's pretty it's supposed to be pretty courage under courage under fire yeah uh the siege these are some, man. They're all like movies with big stars like Denzel is in, Curtain to Fire and The Siege, and Glory. You know, like Brad Pitt's in Legends of Fall, Anthony Hopkins. He would get these big budgets, these big epic stories, and he'd always tell them, okay. It wasn't even like the worst movie you ever saw. It was just like, why did I waste two and a half hours?

The Oscars aren't going like you know and we were arguing about this the other night after seeing the movie i think pretty much every zwick movie has failed to meet has been like an underperformer i think even the ones that did well but the others you're basically right i think the bar is always of expectations is always higher that like oh this is this is going to be his best picture play. This is going to be a full on blockbuster. And even like last time I did 114, but I remember people being like, it's probably gonna make like 200,

you know? I think that was also a little, not to beef with Cruise, but it was a little on Cruise because that was when he was getting into some weird shit. He was getting into trouble. He was getting in the danger zone.

But you're right. All his movies are kind of flops. Like Legends of the Fall made $66 million, and that's the highest grossing movie he made before. It's still his second highest grossing. The only hit he's made is Last Samurai. After Last Samurai, he makes Blood Diamond, which is sort of not enough of a hit,

but gets some Oscar noms. I don't know. I guess it's on cable a lot right right he makes the finance serious then he makes defiance which i remember non-starter i was so pumped for because i was like yeah give me daniel craig the mean jew again like i love it gun toting jew daniel craig but uh no it's crappy movie nobody watches it he makes love and other drugs which is really horrendous yeah horrendous have you seen that film? Yes. Hate that movie. Yeah. Like, another Oscar play that's, like, a weepy plus a sex comedy.

It sucks. Well, that's, like, Gad's giving a performance out of, like, American Pie 7. Yeah. Yeah. And then, meanwhile, like, Hathaway's in Love Story, you know? Yeah, absolutely. It's a totally confused movie. And it's, like, making this point about, like, you know, drugs are too expensive in America. Like, I feel it's trying to have all kinds of cake and eat it all.

It's neither funny nor poignant. I don't find it particularly sexy despite starring two attractive people who are naked a lot. Sure, exactly. It's not a good movie. It's not sexy. And then Pawn Sacrifice. Oh, right. Jesus Christ.

Which is kind of an interesting movie, much better than the other movies we're talking about, though not good. I cited it as the most okay movie of 2015. Just weird, abrasive. Yeah. Half committed to this idea. It's a movie about Bobby Fischer, that Bobby Fischer was a really impossible person.

Got a lot of good performances in his supporting cast. A couple of really strong performances. Sarsgaard rules in that movie. Michael Stuhlbarg and Peter Sarsgaard. Schreiber's good. Schreiber's great. But certainly that thing vanished without a trace. Disappeared.

And now he does the thing he promised he would never do. He goes back. He's slumming it. For him, he's slumming it. I was excited by him slumming it. We were like, hey, maybe slumming it is what he's always needed to do because i think he's always failed by getting by delusions of grandeur i think zwick has always thought that he was a more important filmmaker than he was and comes up with these sort of lofty ambitions and falls short right right and i was like maybe

if he just tries to hit a double yeah he can elevate the material a little bit you know yeah he can pull like a Macquarie. But man, does this movie feel like he was just trying to qualify for another year of DGA health insurance. That was your joke. I'm going to repeat a lot of jokes I made after the screening.

That's fine. The other thing was within five minutes of the movie starting I turned to you and I said this feels like the seventh Jack Reacher movie which you used in your review. I did, I stole it. It's fine.

Yeah, I stole it from you without asking. Totally fine. But it does. I mean, it does. It's one of those things where we're fine with what's going on because we saw Jack Reacher recently and we like the movie. But you have to assume most people aren't as primed and ready and buttered up for this. The other one, which is based on the novel One Shot, that's more of your standard cool mystery.

Which, by the way, is not the first Jack Reacher book. They just picked the best one. Yeah, they just picked a good one. This one, which is also, it's like the 15th Jack Reacher. It's the 18th, maybe? I can't even remember. It's the 18th of 21. This one's set in the bowels of military bureaucracy.

It's like he becomes phone friends with Cobie Smulders, who plays Susan Turner, who's like the woman who replaced him at his old battalion or whatever. Because let's just say the movie once again starts off well, but with a fatal mistake. The opening of the film is... So cool. And it's Oliver Wood.

It's not Deschanel. We're not getting the D. But Oliver Wood's all right. Yeah, he's good, but we're not getting the D. Let's just call it like we see it. Okay. I like Oliver Wood. I do too, but we're not getting the D. I think Oliver Wood's cool. Yeah, no's good, but we're not getting the D. Let's just call it like we see it. I like Oliver Wood. I do too, but we're not getting the D.

I think Oliver Wood's cool. Yeah, no, we're not getting the D. Okay. Iroh's in on a diner. Cops pulling up. They're like, what's going on? Fight here. How many, you know, whatever.

They go, it's one guy. He's still sitting. He took them all out. He's just sitting there. Right, and he's sitting there, and you see Cruz from behind. He's wearing the jacket. This was in the trailers. Right.

He looks fucking great. And they're like, why don't you come with us, sir? And he's sitting there and you see Cruz from behind. He's wearing the jacket. This was in the trailers. Right. He looks fucking great. And they're like, why don't you come with us, sir? And he's like, two things are about to happen. That phone's gonna ring and then you're gonna walk out of here wearing those handcuffs. And then he fucking calls a shot. It's great. And it was a setup. He points at the phone and it rings. In my review, I called him like, he's like the Fonz or whatever.

It's like he just sort of conjures justice from nothing. Right. Like, it's very cool. But it feels like, okay, good start. The phone rings and it's like the sheriff's been doing human trafficking or something and Reacher busted it up. Like, right? I don't know. Well, that's the thing that's great about Jack Reacher.

We're like at the end of a Jack Reacher mystery. Yeah. And the thing that's great about Jack Reacher is he's borderline magical. You know? He's also a maniac. Yeah. And he's like a monster. He's terrifying.

Yeah. But this is the fatal mistake the movie makes, is I think the first movie is so smart to spend the first 15 minutes without Jack Reacher. Right? To get you first invested in the mystery. Setting up your crime. Then introduce you to the people in the office. Yellowwell, Jenkins, Pike, three ringers.

Three actors we trust. This movie doesn't have no ringers. I mean, I like Smulders, but apart from that. But, they give us three characters to sort of identify with before Reacher comes in, and they already explain to us who Reacher is. So by the time we meet him, we're like, he's not going to change. He's an immovable force, you know? Sure.

He doesn't represent the human condition in any way. We're mostly associating with Pike, who's joining him on this journey, and we're relating to her marveling at, like, who the fuck is this guy. Right. Right? This movie starts with Jack Reacher, which is cool, journey and we're relating to her marveling at like who the fuck is this guy right right this movie starts with jack reacher which is cool but then it's like oh shit they're gonna make him the audience surrogate character right which is a nightmare decision very bad decision so then it's

he's calling in you know the cases to kobe smulders who's his like pen pal yeah and you're like okay it's a nice relationship they're're sort of similar professionals. She's kind of a female Jack Reacher, except not scary. Yeah, she's sort of hard edged, but not as, right. And we said, you know, like, Game Recognize Game, Cruise has been picking really good leading ladies lately. Pike? Blunt. Ferguson. Ferguson.

These women who are great actresses and are kind of giving awesome character actress performances of a Tom Cruise type. They don't have the same inherent scariness, but they're able to do a more likable version of the Tom Cruise hyper-focus laser beam kind of thing. Absolutely.

And the blade hands running. Yes. Yes. My favorite. He always does a Robert Patrick running. So she's good in this. Shout out Hannah Blackman. Shout out to Hannah Blackman. Apologies because I said I was going to go see

this movie with her before the screening came up ah fuck you yeah I'm a piece of shit she's good in this but here's like another problem

that becomes apparent when we're watching the movie and just the fucking opening credits happen no one else in the supporting cast of this movie yeah the first one

we didn't even fucking mention the Bob Duvall's in it oh shit yeah Bob Duvall's in it. Oh shit, yeah. Bob Duvall's in the first Jack Reacher and he's wonderful. He comes in the last half hour. He's the guy who runs

a sniper range. It's great. He helps out. He's like blind and he helps out Jack Reacher take out Jai Courtney and it's fantastic. Yeah, and he fucking rules.

Fantastic. Yeah, we got like a great fucking cast in that movie and this one it's like Tom Cruise, Colby Smulders. You're like, all right, all right,

let's go. And then it's like Aldous Hodge. Who I like plays all right, all right, let's go. And then it's like. Aldous Hodge. Who I like plays MC Ren. Oh, the guy from Leverage? Straight out of Compton. He was the seventh lead in Straight Outta Compton, right?

He was Voodoo Tatum, or Taylor, Voodoo Tatum, I think, on Friday Night Lights. Good actor, but. Love him. I think he has a great presence. You're like, oh, he's third bill? I don't know if I want him third bill, but whatever. Patrick Huesinger. Yeah, what, what what danica

yarosh huh holt mcculaney right where you're like that's yeah i think i want him splitting a title card well here's the other thing like austin hebert holt mcclaney being some weird name holt mcclaney yes holt mccl being sixth or seventh billed sounds about right, but you want everyone between Tom Cruise and Holt McElhinney to be impressive. Yeah.

And then when you're like, Tom Cruise, Colby Smulders, Holt McElhinney. And it's like, wait, why wasn't he third billed? Like, he's the third

biggest name here, and even that is, like, generous. He's not a big name. There's no and on this film, which is like a bummer.

I was like, okay, supporting cast is in that stack, but there's going to be and. No. Robert Knapper. Right. Yeah. Who's just like such a stock kind of like bad guy in this type of movie that you're like, oh, fuck, you know? So the supporting cast, and then the main

like grunt who's playing like the Jai Courtney sort of equivalent part makes you long for the days of Jai Courtney. You really, you want old Potato Head back. You want old Potato Head back. Patrick Hewsinger. Yeah. Who, he's, apparently he played a rich gentleman

in Black Swan. Okay, if you say so. Yeah, he's been in like 12 movies I've seen. He played a guy called Patch in Francis Ha. Sure, I mean, I guess. Yeah, you guess. I can't prove that he didn't. And he's been in some TV shows, like Girlfriend's Guide to Divorce.

Okay. He had a four-episode run in Gossip Girl as Lord Marcus Beaton. Oh, that sounds cool, actually. He's a nobody, and it shows. He feels like a nobody. He plays the hunter, who is like the main villain. Who fucking cares? Every time it comes on screen, you're like, oh, that's that

guy. Okay. Because he looks, he has the most no face face I've ever seen. He really does. He's handsome-ish, you know, sort of a tall guy. Nothing. He's a totally acceptable actor, but he leaves no impression. This character's underwritten. He himself isn't that distinctive. The idea is that he's sort of like

Reacher. He's like an ex-military guy, but he went bad. Right. He's sort of fascinated by Reacher. He wants to kill him. But the movie kind of sets up is that, like, Colby Smalls is like one tie to reality. He's, like, passing through town. He's like, oh, let me go check in on her.

He gets there. Holt McElhinney's there. He's like, where's my friend? He's looking for a bang, by the way. Right. He wants a bang. Oh, clearly. He's looking for a hookup.

It's a thirst trap. Because he keeps on going, like, what if I took you out to dinner? Yeah. And she's like, yeah, we'll see. We'll drink out of a boot. He shows up. She's been put in prison, framed for espionage.

Right. He breaks her out of prison. The rest of the movie's a chase movie. Which is the opposite of what we want. We want him fucking solving a mystery, which he's not really doing in this. Not especially, because the mystery is these, I mean, whatever. Spoiler alert. These guys are running some guns. Right, and she's another Jack Reacher, so she doesn't

serve as a counterpoint in the same way that Pike did. You know? Absolutely. No, there's a lot of fighting between them where she's like, you have to take me seriously. And he's kind of like, I don't know. I don't take anyone seriously. I'm Jack Reacher. I hate everybody. It's because I'm a woman, and he's like, maybe. No, it's because you're not Jack Reacher. Yeah, it's more that, But at least they acknowledge it.

That one scene's almost interesting. Almost. Because she's good. She's good. There's an interesting scene early on where they retire to a hotel to hide out and she's topless. And then he gets topless. And he takes his shirt off too.

And it's very non-sexual. Which I love. It's like they're two military like grunts who are like two gis who are like debriefing after something which pointed out there's a lot of sexual tension in rogue nation but he and rebecca ferguson never kiss and it almost feels like the attraction is more like game recognized game like and this is your equivalent in power to me and even uh edge of tomorrow is sort of the same thing they have the kiss but the kiss is kind of like well we're about to die so why not moment.

His leading ladies now he doesn't really have relationships with. They're just sort of like peers which I like. Yeah, I mean he's 20 years older than Kobe. The movie claims that Jack Reacher is in his 40s. Tom Cruise is 54 years old. Yeah.

You know, they kind of sell it. And then they have this one conversation where she's like, what if we weren't on the run? Would we get dinner? And he's like, yeah, I was thinking champagne. And you're like, no, you weren't. No, you never thought about anything. You're not a person.

It feels like they're both robots doing an impression of how a person. But him more so. Yes. But then this movie throws this dumb fucking thing out, which is... Throws it out early. Oh, paternity suit filed against you. What? Your daughter.

I don't have a daughter. Yes, you do. Prostitute drug addict has a 15-year-old. Yeah. And then he's like, okay, I'm going to go spy on this girl. The girl's like, who the fuck are you? Samantha, played by Danika Yarosh. Yeah. Unfortunately, not Samantha Re who the fuck are you? Samantha, played by Danika Yarosh. Yeah.

Unfortunately, not Samantha Reacher. What do you mean? Yeah, no. She hasn't taken the name Reacher yet. No. Samantha Dayton. And he follows her around, and then she's like, what the fuck are you doing here? And he's like, you're in danger. Come with me. He essentially just abducts her, Qui-Gon Jinn style. Yeah, he kind of does.

I mean, she's in trouble, though, because they're going after her as well. And he's like, trust me. And then, like, an hour later, he reveals that he's her father. And she's like, you're not my father. And he's like, why not? And she's like, oh, shit, you're my father.

Like, that's the whole conversation. She's like, that's impossible. And he's like, why is it impossible? And she's like, oh, no, you are my father. It is. And the whole time you're like, the whole time you're watching the movie, you're like, look, they're not.

He's not her dad. You just know it're like they wouldn't they wouldn't do that you know it's just it's just we don't want to see him get human but that's the thing they just they wouldn't bother and they he walks down to town he hitchhikes he's like the incredible hulk like you can't you know that's the last shot of the movie is a close-up of his thumb on the road it's literally bill bixby yeah um but oh once in a while oh she has a kind of a reachery skill for you know sneaking in somewhere and stealing something or oh like oh fighting exclusively calls him reacher even though she knows at the second half of the movie that he's her father uh or believes you know yeah so uh they have that thread running but you kind of know it's not going to work out. But it's obvious.

Maybe it's not obvious because maybe it's in the book, but it's clearly something Zwick, who is more into that kind of soapy stuff. He created fucking 30 something. Yeah. You know, grabbed onto and was like, well, this is good. This is like a nice arc for the movie, right? Like Reacher humanizes a little bit. He forges a connection with this girl.

That's good. Even if maybe they don't end up like father and daughter at the end of the movie, that's nice for us to have, right? We don't want that! That's the fucking opposite of what I want out of Jack Reacher. We don't want it! We don't want it. Never go back. Now this is where we get into the seventh movie thing. A, the movie starts and you're like, this movie's way too relaxed. It is way too confident that we're all in the pocket for Jack Reacher. Which you and I are in the pocket for Jack Reacher. We are. But it's not like that movie, there in the pocket for Jack Reacher, which you and I are in the pocket for Jack Reacher. We are. But it's not like that movie, there was a demand for the second one, right?

And the movie's not working hard to impress you. And I don't think the movie's going to do that well. I don't either. It'll open to 20 mil. Maybe it'll do about the same. They claim it costs 60 mil, which is the same amount the first one cost. I think there's no way it costs that much. I think Tom Cruise got $20 million, and I think the rest of the movie cost $10 million. The movie looks really fucking cheap to me.

It does look cheap, but I'm sure it cost $60 million. It's not hard for a movie to cost that much money. Then maybe Tom Cruise's salary was $50 million, because I don't think the rest of the movie could have cost more than that. All right. It's very limited in sort of scope. They go to different cities, but it's just like, it's poorly, you know. It's from D.C., and then they go to New Orleans.

The big finale is set during Mardi Gras, which is dull. The action sequences are indifferently directed. The biggest problem is the action. They feel very second unit. I would be fine with this movie with all of its flaws if the action was awesome. And it blows. It is not awesome. It's kind of boring.

I didn't even hate the movie. Like, three stars. Like, it's honestly, that's the thing. I like it less the more I think about two and a half, and that's generous just because it's a Reacher movie. As my friend Matt Singer, our, you know, friend of the pod uh future guest said like he says he's gonna break someone's legs and then their arms and then their neck and then he does it like there's there's fun reacher things yeah that's cool that's why i give it two and a half stars the problem is the first

movie does that more and does it more elegantly you know uh yeah um but i so we saw this together two days ago right uh correct yesterday i went to go see shin godzilla aka godzilla resurgent sure which i have not yet seen but i've heard it's great i liked it a lot i was a big fan i'm a big godzilla fan uh i've seen a chunk of that i i mean you. I mean, you know. But I mean, I like Godzilla. I just feel like being a big Godzilla fan, that requires a lot of sort of nerdy, like, you know, right? All that. Yeah, I'm not a huge Godzilla fan. Like, I wouldn't cite myself as an expert, but I'm pretty well versed, right?

And Godzilla is, much like, you know, the Westerns, you know, stuff we're talking about. It's like a very, there's a set formula for that franchise, for how these movies work. And a lot of the ways that the Roland Emmerich movie fails is from deviating from that formula. Godzilla movies have a lot of bureaucracy in them, right? There's never that much of the monster. It's mostly the government dealing with it.

It's always some sort of allegorical panic, right? Right, I saw our friend, friend of the pod, Emily Yoshida, talking about that, right? Like the movie's like weirdly nerdy. Yes Emily Yoshida, talking about that, right? Like, the movie's, like, weirdly nerdy. Yes. Yeah. It's always very nerdy, right?

But, like, the key is Godzilla's Godzilla. Like, you know what you're going to see. Sure. He's not going to suddenly, yeah, carry on. It's, like, covers of the same song. It's a great song, and you're letting other people reinterpret it. And it's like, but, you know, keep the things we like about the song. Put your own spin on it.

Sure. But don't fucking deconstruct it to the point where it doesn't sound like the thing that I like. And they don't try to make Godzilla anything other than what he is, you know? Sure. Like even when you get to the movies where there's another monster for Godzilla to fight, and this is not one of those. This is one where it's just Godzilla destroying stuff and them trying to stop them versus the ones where he has to sort of defend the city. He can never get too heroic. He can never become too conscious or deliberate, right? You know, the Roland Emmerich movie, they make it that Godzilla is a woman

and she's just trying to protect her babies. Yeah, that movie makes a ton of mistakes. Right. Whereas, like, in some of the original Godzilla films, he has a son, he has Godzilla Jr., but it's like, it's a very animalistic relationship and they don't try to map too many human emotions onto it. Right.

Like, just let Godzilla be Godzilla. Let Godzilla be Godzilla. And seeing that the day after Jack Reacher, like, hammered in for me even more how disappointed I was and never go back because I feel like they're not letting Jack Reacher be Jack Reacher. It feels like he went to Paramount and was like, please let me make another one. And they were like, okay, but can you make Jack Reacher a little more like other characters? That makes sense that they would maybe have demanded just like can it not be as brutal as the first one the first one was just so cold he's a cold character well yes he is but that's

like a fucking bummer to me because that's the appeal of jack reacher without that it's like you get a couple good moments you have him explaining how he's going to beat the people up you know you got cruz who's the best at putting on and taking off jackets in the history of cinema. Yeah. But other than that, it's like, what the fuck is this thing? You know, there's not that much

inherent to the concept. It's like the character. And you lose the physical presence. It was all in the way that Cruise played him, which means the brutality, the sort of condescension, you know? The clinical appraisal of situations. I think I said this to you after.

I did say it. I think he's maybe even better. He's so at ease with the character. He's such I think it's a great performance from him. I agree. But it's a bummer applied to this. No, I agree. It's just there's something about that.

He likes to sniffs and grimaces every time he's like interacting with a person. He plays it like a cat. Yes. Yes. And then he's like so confident and comfortable when he is, you know, beating the shit out of somebody. Yeah. No, here's the thing. I think this is like, you know, a real misstep for the Jack Reacher franchise.

And I hope it's not the end of them. It might be. But it might not. I mean, they're low cost enough. I really think they're inflating the number on the budget. And I think he'll do well enough overseas and like fucking whatever. And he might make more of them. You asked why he was trying to keep this franchise going so much.

overseas and like fucking whatever and he might make more of them you asked why he was trying to keep this franchise going so much and the thing we talked about which we you know sort of teased at the beginning of the episode is that mission possible is obviously his big champagne a franchise right but it can't last for i mean it's that franchise is built upon the promise of him doing incredible insane stunts and he's 53 for yeah he's getting old yeah and like he's at a point right now where his face has gotten a little more interesting because he's got old yeah and like he's at a point right now where his face has gotten a little more interesting because he's got the bags under his eyes

but he's still like got jet black hair he's still working out a lot his body's a little weird getting a little weird it's getting a little weird but he's like fighting the last vestiges

of like can I still look like a VRL man right right Mission Impossible isn't going to work when he passes that

he's going to make six no question and then we'll see. Yes. There might be a passing of the torch at that point. I wouldn't be surprised if six is constructed to let Ferguson sort of lead the franchise. That'd be cool.

I mean, Renner certainly ain't going to. I mean, the weird thing about the plans they all made, both Mission Impossible and Bourne, to have Jeremy Renner take over the franchise is Jeremy Renner is 45 years old. He's not your young gun. No, absolutely not. I mean, I get what they saw in The Hurt Locker.

Obviously, this is a movie star. But he was no spring chicken. He was no spring chicken, and also, he's not a movie star. He's good. He's a great character. He's an incredible supporting player. What you want is him in the Mission Impossible movies

and things like that, and into the Avengers movies. If you like him to play off. Pretty much plays a bureaucrat in the Mission Impossible movies. He's like their point man. If we're talking about like Arsenal in the 90s, he's Dennis Bergkamp. He plays off the ball.

He's great. You want him up front, but he's Dennis Bergkamp. He's not Ian Wright. Fuck, that's not my podcast. But the thing with Jack Reacher is Jack Reacher is a character he could play as he gets older. Absolutely. And you made this point to me last night, Tuesday or whatever. I was like, you're totally right. Because Clint Eastwood could play Jack Reacher is a character he could play as he gets older Absolutely And you made this point to me last night Tuesday or whatever

Yeah now you're always like That's you're totally right Because Clint Eastwood could play Jack Reacher And Liam Neeson could play Jack Reacher Well because he's right out of those sorts of Sort of dime store heroes right Like yeah It's so much about presence and intellect

And when he's physical He's physical in a very precise Like limited amount of movement kind of way That's his whole thing Sure So it's a thing you could shoot around with an older guy. And I think the Jack Reacher movies could actually get better as Tom Cruise got grayer.

And I think this movie is, like, a bummer, but it also is, like, the whole point is, like, Jack Reacher's on, like, a continuum. He's, like, a feedback loop. Like, he's never gonna change, and the next movie could reset and totally ignore everything that happened in this movie, and it wouldn't feel lazy. Or sloppy. No, it would feel correct. Or disrespectful. i think they should just make fucking 45 of these and i think

his thing is like look i'm not going to be able to be this a-list like sci-fi like leading guy forever this is maybe my retirement policy sure it's every couple years i i flip whip out a if he wants to do that that's fine get a better director tommy get a pick a pick a novel that's i don't know i mean maybe the novel's novel's good, so I shouldn't demean. But just do things a little differently. Here's the thing I read, though. Never Go Back, which people say is a good novel. A, that's the 18th one.

So if 18 in, you're introducing the idea of making him a little human. That's very different than the second movie, right? The other thing is, apparently the daughter doesn't come in until the very end of the novel. Like, he's aware of the daughter, and he's sort of coming to terms with the idea of having a daughter out there. So they really did mess with it. They fucking mutt Williams. Cause she's on this road trip with them for two-thirds of the movie. Yeah. 100%. Which is a fucking bummer.

Let's play the box office game. Okay. This is for Jack Reacher. Right. We don't know how Never Go Back does this weekend. My guess is 16 million. So this is on route to 50 domestic. Right. This is Christmas En route to 50 domestic. Right. This is Christmas weekend. Okay.

2012. Okay. I'm so really into the bathroom, so I'm going to try to do this one quickly. No merchandise spotlight, no burger report, no orange twist file, box office report, and then I'm going to poop really hard. Okay. 2012. It opens what number in the box office?

It opens number two. Wow. Okay. So not a great weekend. This is sort of right before the Christmas rush. So it's like the calm before the storm. Correct. Number one, how much does it make? 36 million in its second week. That's not bad. It's a 56% drop. It's a big blockbuster movie. It's the first in a new franchise, but it's sort of a spinoff. It's a December franchise. It is. But it's kind of a spinoff. Is it a Marvel picture?

No. It's kind of a franchise, but it's kind of a spinoff. But it is part of a connected universe, in that kind of way? Interesting. 36 Second Weekend, which means it made 70 the first weekend. Yeah, I can even find that info for you.

Yeah, it makes 84 its first weekend. Wow. And this movie eventually grosses $300 domestic, $1 billion worldwide, which is crazy. In 2012? Yeah, I mean, there's a reason you're not getting this. Alright, another clue? And they made another one. They made two more, and you want to talk about this movie

on our podcast. Oh boy, was that the clue you were going to give? Yeah. 2012. They've made two more since then. They made two more, yeah. They've both been released since then. They made two more, yeah. They've both been released since then. The series that it's a part of has now concluded.

And I don't know that they'll ever make another movie in this sort of universe. I feel like they've tapped the well. Maybe, maybe they will. Is it a book series? Yeah. And is it like a YA thing? No.

So it's not 52 Days of Grey, it's February. I can't believe you're not getting this. Now I feel like it's obvious. And I want to talk about it. You do. Because of the director? For your sins, yes.

Did one director do all of them? Yes. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's the second one or the first one? First one. It's The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey. That's right. I do want to talk about these one. It's The Hobbit, An Unexpected Journey. That's right. I do want to talk about these movies.

I kind of do too. They're fascinating. You know, I just need a little space. But Jesus Christ, what a testament to those movies not having any sort of cultural mark. Absolutely. Especially that one. And honestly, I think there's a lot to love in every Hobbit movie. I only saw the first one and I saw it in the high frame rate shit so it was just a deeply unpleasant experience. Wait, you only saw

the first one? Yeah. Which is why I want to do the miniseries. Oh. Yeah, they get better. Oh, really? Yeah, the first one is the worst, easily. Yeah, I saw the first one in the high frame rate and was like, I fundamentally hate what they're doing. This feels so padded out. It looks awful.

No, I mean, the high frame rate, you have to not see it in there. The second one is the one that critics kind of liked and I was a little underwhelmed by, but it has a lot of cool action sequences and is not bad. The third one, which everyone hated except for me, the third one, which everyone hated except for me, I think

is this hilarious LSD trip of a fucking nonsense movie. I think it's great. It's like the third Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah. I kind of had. Okay, we need to do it. I kind of had the same. We need to do this. One day. One day. We'll get to Jackson one day. Number two, Jack Reacher. By the way, we've set our next miniseries and we'll announce it soon, but we're very excited by it.

I think it's really exciting and I think it's big. We've talked about it before, at least vaguely on this podcast. Yeah, we haven't announced that it's going to be the next one. We've thrown it out as a concept, but it's big. I know. We're excited. Number two, Jack Reacher opens to 15, finishes with 80, as with 80. Okay. Number three is also a new entry. It's a comedy.

It was a $35 million budget and it eventually grosses $67 million domestic, $88 worldwide. So that'll give you a hint. This is not a global film. This is not a global play. It is a quasi-sequel

to another comedy. It was a quasi- Oh, to another comedy. It was a quasi- Oh, this is 40. Yeah. Yeah. We could do Apatow one day, too. We'll do Apatow one day, no question. That is a weird movie.

Weird. Weird, weird movie. Do you remember what the tagline was for that movie? The sort of sequel to Knocked Up or something? There was that, but in the trailers they said, this isn't their story, this is everyone's story. No, sir. No, it's not.

One of the least universal movies ever made. Okay. Okay. Number four is an animated film that I've never seen. It's in its fifth week of release, and it eventually inches over the $100 million line. Made 300 worldwide. Kind of a bummer.

I believe it's a DreamWorks animation joint. It's a real whatever. Hey, if it's what I think it is, I think it's underrated. Oh, okay. Legend of the Guardians? It's called Rise of the Guardians. Well, okay. Legend of the Guardians is...

Owls of Google? Yeah, Owls. They're very interchangeable titles. I think that film's actually pretty well made. It was a bummer that it bombed because it's the best film DreamWorks has made in like eight years. Wait, really? Yeah, it's kind of good. That film's very well directed. It was a bummer that it bombed because it's the best film DreamWorks has made in like eight years. Wait, really? Yeah, it's kind of good.

That film's very well directed. Okay, whatever. Number five. I don't care. Rise of the Guardians. Jack Frost, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny. Number five is a film we're probably going to talk about one day.

Big historical drama. Won an Oscar, too. Culture Transylvanian. No, it's in its seventh week. It's grossed 116. It's going to finish with 182. I knew what it was, and I was joking with Huts of Transylvania. It is, of course, Lincoln.

Lincoln. Big Link. Big Link. And, yeah, you've also got The Guilt Trip in there, number six. Which is? First weekend. Not bad. I've never seen.

I do own, because I took it at a trivia one week. Yeah. No, it's not bad.'ve never seen I do own because I took it at trivia one week yeah no it's not bad Barbara's legitimately great in that movie Skyfall Monsters Inc

3D re-release is in there yeah I saw that shit Life of Pi is in there yeah Breaking Dawn Part 2 I'll say this

number 11 preview for an upcoming episode is Cirque du Soleil Worlds Away well I was gonna say this if blankies want to comb through this top 10 there are maybe Number 11 preview for an upcoming episode is Cirque du Soleil Worlds Away. Well, I was going to say this. If blankies want to comb through this top 10,

there are maybe four movies in that top 10 that we have plans on the books to cover through different miniseries. Is that correct? Wait, what did you say? I didn't listen to what you just said. There are at least three movies in that top 10. I said four, but I'm downgrading it to three now. What was the fourth? There are three movies in that top 10 that we plan on covering in the top ten. I said four, but I'm downgrading it to three now. What was the fourth? There are three movies in that top ten

that we plan on covering in the immediate future. I'd say in the next year or so. So you're arguing Hobbit, Lincoln... Life of Pi. Life of Pi. You're right. What was the fourth? I don't want to give spoilers. I wanted to let them parse out

which ones they were. We can cut that out. It's not going to be Rise of the Guardians. They're not stupid. We're going to do a Rise of the Guardians main series. I had to poop so badly. Thank you all for listening. Please rate, review,

subscribe. Next week we will be back with True Lies with Drop Mill again. That's right. Which we previewed last week and but it's going to happen next week.

We snuck in a little reach here. We just decided to reach for the sky and I think we did a great job. I did too. No burger reports. Let me really stretch this out. I need to poop so badly. We snuck in a little reach here. We just decided to reach for the sky, and I think we did a great job. I did too. No burger reports. Let me really stretch this out. I need to prove something. I know, I know. Okay, and thank you for listening.

And as always... Yeah, he's doing the gross thing again. Describe what it is. He's jerking off and reaching for something. I'm not jerking off. What am I doing? Yeah. And? Hell yeah. Thanks.

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