Blank Check with Griffin & David - Miami Vice

Episode Date: July 14, 2019

Are you a fiend for mojitos? We are. Grab your shades and grease back your hair cause Blank Check is discussing 2006’s film remake of Miami Vice! Together they examine the storied history of this production, the performances of Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx, grenade rules, casting Russell Crowe as Donkey Kong and more!

I'm a fiend for podcasts. Okay. Am I right? Yeah. Okay. Can I get a little louder? I'm a fiend for podcasts. Okay. Am I right? Yeah. Okay. Can I get a little louder? I'm a fiend for podcasts. Hola, Chica.

I'll take you to the best place for podcasts. Police. I fucked up that. I'll take you to the best place for podcasts. I'll take you to the best place for podcasts. I'm out of it. I'm sorry. Cuba.

Cuba. Hi, everybody. My passport's no good in Havana. The Harbormaster is my cousin. It's My, the Harbormaster is my cousin. It's okay, the Harbormaster is my cousin. I wish I could, like, it's the, the, no one, there's never been an accent like it before or since. No. A Chinese actress doing a Cuban accent, not knowing any of the words she's speaking and doing everything entirely phonetically.

Yeah, this is one of those totally phonetic performances. It's a totally phonetic performance. I, I cannot fathom doing that. No, you're an actor. What do you even do? I don't know. Everything you're thinking about, and how do you do that and then give

what is objectively and was recently declared by the Library of Congress as the greatest film performance in history? I mean, I do think when you have actors who are giving phonetic performances like this, the thing that really stands out is the presence. She's got it.

She's got it. She's got 400 keys of presence. And I will say, I do always sense, and I think this movie is the closest I've seen to someone completely overcoming it. But we talked about this with, well, we'll talk about it next week,

Kutiar in Public Enemies, where you feel the difference between her in Public Enemies and her in Inception, which is in Inception, she's less stressed out. Sure. As an actor. She's had a few more reps doing English. She knows what she's saying.

Right. My grandfather, I don't bring up my grandfather much on this podcast, but he was a French actor who died long before I was born. He was like a French character actor. And he did a handful of American... I think you might have talked about him once. I can't remember. Go on.

I might have talked about him once or twice. I don't talk about him a lot because I didn't know him. Fair enough. I'm a fan of his work. Seemed like a good guy. But he did a bunch of Hollywood films in the 1960s. And my mom told me that he never spoke any English. That it was always phonetic.

The only other English language performances I know that she gave. Memoirs of a Geisha. I think Hannibal Rising. I would assume she speaks English. Fuck, she's in Hannibal Rising. Does she play his mom in that? She plays like his mentor. It would make no sense for her to play his

mom like you know we all know that people eat but what if people eat people a lot chica that's what Hannibal says to her yeah uh I mean like I've seen I have never seen I curse of the golden flowers entirely in correct in Mandarin that's not um Yeah, that was her limited run of doing English language films, right? Pretty much. Except, you know what? I didn't even know this. She's in Mulan. Next year. She's probably gonna rock the fucking house.

Mulan's got a really good cast. You know that Jet Li is playing the Emperor? Yeah, and Donnie Yen's in it, and Jason Scott Lee is in it. We stan. Stephen Sommmers is the Jungle Book. Yeah. A movie you keep on

bringing up. It's just like crazy to me that in 20 years 25 years we went from like Stephen Summers is like I'll remake the Jungle Book. Get me a tiger.

And like 25 years later it's like we're doing the Lion King photo realistic animals. It's like why didn't you just get a lion. Hmm. So you know.

Anyway, I just wanted to point out. Tommy Lee Jones is supposedly giving Gong Lee special house rocking tutorials for her role in Mulan. That's all. That's how you do it. Does she play Mulan's mother? Who does she play? Let's see. She is playing a powerful and malevolent witch.

A new character who's not in the animated film. You know what? She's probably going to fucking rock the house. I was going to say. That sounds pretty house rocking. Analyst Studio is confident of major house rocking. We've talked about this. I'm pretty excited for that Mulan movie.

Me too. A. Nicky Caro directed it. A. You love McFarland USA. You're the number one McFarland USA stand. Good movie. You tried to get your name changed to Griffin McFarland USA. You're the number one McFarland USA stand. Good movie. Yeah, you tried to get your name changed to Griffin McFarland USA. And America was like, you can't put a comma in your name. America loves the cause.

You know what I like about McFarland USA? McFarland USA looks on its face like a white savior movie. And the first scene where Kevin Costner comes in and he's like, I'm here to give you kids a chance. I'm here to save you with my whiteness. Right. They're like, fuck you, white guy. Okay.

But then does he save them, though? Not really. Okay. All right. I haven't seen it. That's the point is like the whole movie is them being like, we're not going to let you think that you're saving us. You know who else is in it? You're coaching us.

Mulan. Zima. Love him. Who's Zima? You know, he's the general in Arrival. He's in The Farewell, which you haven't seen yet, but you will probably have seen right around

now, and he's phenomenal in it. I know the actor you're talking about. They also, it's less, they're doing more a new adaptation of the folktale than... Yeah, and right. Which makes me think it is not going to fall

into the Disney let's remake shot for shot trap no now of course this is the section of our podcast where we talk about

the Lion King because we do this every episode now yeah right and this one's coming out soon it is uh

in our reddit because anytime there's any clip with more than half a frame of mouth movement everyone goes to the reddit and talks about how creepy it does or doesn't look, right? And someone said, I don't understand why they didn't just hire Julie Taymor to do this.

Well, she's had some trouble recently interacting with, you know, producers. Right. That's the reason. I had thought that it was Favreau post-Jungle Book being like, I would like to do The Lion King. Right. In fact,

I now know from very good authorities that... Mufasa? Mufasa himself up in the clouds. We stand a legend, never forget. That Disney was like

developing an idea of an updated Lion King. we stay in a legend never forget that Disney was like developing an idea of an updated Lion King without Favreau in mind just generally like we should do this now that

the technology exists right and Julie Taymor like fought to get a meeting with them sure sure sure that they

like reluctantly in the most passive aggressive way let her come in and pitch the whole thing I they reluctantly, in the most passive-aggressive way, let her come in and pitch the whole thing. They're like, I guess thank you for making the most successful Broadway show of all time, so we should extend the courtesy. Am I wrong in thinking I read somewhere that it is the most successful piece of media in history? That thing prints money. I think it is the most successful piece of media is her production of The Lion King.

Let's go see The Lion King on Broadway. 5,000 stretch marks. That should be it? Yeah. The gang goes and sees The Lion King on Broadway and just reviews it.

Yeah. It was great. Yeah. The puppets. Yeah. I saw it during previews. Sure, sure. Way back when

when you were like a little kid. Like 22 years or whatever. I saw it like when it opened in London. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so that I probably was like 10 years old. That's so weird though, that you would go see a Broadway show on vacation. You could just see it at home in New York City where you grew up.

The thing is, I lived in England at the time. What? It was one of the 13 years that I lived there. Interesting. Sounds pretty unlucky. You know what else I saw? What? In England. Maybe Vice? That I saw? What? In England.

My advice? That's right. On vacation? No. Hola, chica. I got in my GoFast boat and I went to England. I just think it's fascinating that Julie Taymor was like, hey, maybe you should let me pitch you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got an idea. And they were like, fine. Are you free on Sunday at 4 a.m.? And she was like, I am. And they were like, goddammit, we didn't think she'd take it. Can you Skype in at 7 a.m. Shanghai time? They tried to give her a weird math problem.

Right. But here's my source for this. I heard Julie Taymor saying this at a fucking party. Oh, sure. At a New York Film Festival thing. And they had just announced it, and she was ranting about it and she was like, Julie Taymor ranting?

Yeah. What? But look, I, like, she made this argument, which I think she has with time proven to be more and more correct about this

and I think once the movie comes out will be proven to be 100% correct about this. Right. She was like, it's not gonna work. They think they can apply the same technology they used on the Jungle Book. Right, right, right.

But it won't match. The difference is, if you don't have one human character as an anchor, it'll be bizarre. And you're removing the stylization

and you have multiple characters of the same species, it's not going to work. Right. And she was like, I was going to do more of a hybrid thing, sort of like

the way we use... Something more stylized. That was her whole take. Sure. And she was like, I was going to do more of a hybrid thing, sort of like the way we use. Something more stylized. That was her whole take. Sure. And she was like, I was still going to do CGI. I was still going to do motion capture. I had the whole pitch for that. They didn't do motion capture for this, though.

Exactly. Yeah, but go on. She was like, I'm going to do motion capture. I'm going to have it be humans. I'm going to think about it the same way I thought about humans, like with the masks and half puppets and all that sort of stuff. It wasn't going to look like the Broadway show. Right.

And at least creatively, that probably would have been the right avenue for them to take. Maybe. But now, it'll be like a source of nightmares

for children for years to come. I will say, the latest clip they posted, it looked okay. It looked okay. It looked okay. I will say the latest clip they posted, it looked okay. It looked okay. It looked okay. I was less alarmed by it. Kind of looked like more what I

imagined, I guess, from that first clip. It looks okay. When this episode comes out... Still not pumped. Yes. When this episode comes out, it'll be like a week away from release, right? I believe that's right. I believe that's right. Kids are not going to want animals to talk after this movie. I mean, that's the question. That was the thing. I was always like, oh, I want animals to right. Kids are not going to want animals to talk after this movie. That was the thing. I was always like,

I want animals to talk. When you're a kid, you're like, right. Animals and talking? I understand the calculus. Anything and talking. I understand the calculus in the sense that kids love talking animals that are stylized in cartoon. Right. Please tell the listeners what I'm wearing right now.

Forky baseball cap. I got it five below. The tag said Forky dad hat. Right. Well, and please tell the listeners what I'm wearing right now. Forky baseball cap. I got a forky baseball cap. I got it five below. The tag said forky dad hat. Nice. Because forky's my daddy. Forky's your daddy, so am I your other daddy? Yeah, you're going to adopt me. Loving home.

Nice family. This is the future that liberals want. A man and his spork and his adult son go on I understand the calculus in the sense that kids love

cartoonish talking animals they also love watching real animals like kids love kids love watching nature documentaries until it gets to the scary part like you know, you're always surprised that kids like watching footage of lions and shit. Yeah. You're like,

that seems too scary, and kids are fascinated by it. Yeah, it's cool. But I think they don't want to see both at the same time. We'll see. I think Disney is pretty convinced that you're wrong. Look, I contend, still, everyone's gonna see this fucking movie, and many people are gonna see it multiple times. Lots of people are gonna see it. Yeah, it'send still everyone's going to see this fucking movie

and many people are going to see it multiple times. Lots of people are going to see it. Yeah, it's going to do great. It's going to do great. Your contention was that it was going to be the best ever, which was insane, but it's going to do amazing. It's going to do boffo BO.

What if I am right though? Then it's incredible. Because I've backed off of my own bet even being like, I'm probably wrong. But if you're right, it's like, I mean, I can't think of like the sports analogy, but it's like, it's unheard of. Right. Photo finish? No, that's not right.

Because in a summer where everything is flopping, Aladdin is one of the only movies overperforming. Aladdin's over the fucking overperforming like crazy. Right. And Lion King's going to double that. But even doubling it, that's like nearer to what Endgame made. Right. And Lion King's going to double that. But even doubling it, that's like nowhere near what Endgame made. I'm aware. He's not a talking warthog.

That is true. He's chunky. He's kind of sturdy. Yes, he's chunky. He's certainly dirty. I mean, he's fake dirty. It's all fake. He's such an unappealing color.

Yeah. Everyone is. But like the warthog i'm like oh right they're like grayish brown warthogs are crazy animals yeah yeah but yeah right they are not like a beautiful sort of like you know burgundy exact right a claret yeah yeah with a finely clothed mohawk. Pumbaa's cool. Yeah, Pumbaa's a good guy. But you know what? That's the first fart joke in Disney, right?

Is it? Isn't it? It probably is, right? It's not in the other. It's not in like Beating the Beast or Little Mermaid or this. That's probably. I think you're probably right. That's probably. There wasn't a mouse fart at one point.

In The Great Mouse Detective? I don't know. Sherlock was like, excuse me. They always have mice in their movies. They always have mice in their movies? I don't know. Sherlock was like, excuse me. They always have mice in their movies. They always have mice in their movies. In Cinderella?

Yeah, Rescuers. It was like flatulent. Right? Like, I could, I bet you that's the first time Disney was like,

fine, do a whole fart joke sequence. Yeah. And like, it's just like a moment. It's just a change, times is changing moment. It's,

right, it's a moment like, that's one of those things where like no one farted in a movie before Blazing Saddles. Right, Blazing Saddles like broke the glass ceiling on moment. Right. It's a moment like, that's one of those things where like no one farted in a movie before Blazing Saddles. Right. Blazing Saddles like broke the glass ceiling on that. Right.

Now, think about how many comedies in the last 30 years don't have a single fart joke in them. Right? So like, it's the last days of disco. Right. And like here, just this metric. What is the last big studio comedy to have zero fart jokes? I cannot think of one.

Because even if I try to think of an answer, I'm like, there's probably one I'm forgetting. I mean, I'm sure there's studio comedies without fart jokes now. When? Where?

No. How? You saw Stuber yesterday. Does Stuber have any fart jokes? I't think so stuber does not it has a dick joke oh cool it is kind of one of those things where you're like we are we're here joke actually maybe the funniest single line in the cool um but you know what i mean where they're like we because stuber is just like a fucking down the middle like we're making a gross 80s buddy cop movie we're making 48 you know what i mean it's like it's 90 minutes long yeah like it's one of those movies where you're like your body's almost conditioned where you're

like okay it's like four more action sequences right and then you're like oh wait no we're actually almost done this is actually it's awkward it's not good to be clear it's like watchable like it's the kind of thing i mean my review i was like this thing would have dominated a blockbuster and it's the kind of movie where you're like it's hot outside and you're like at least the movie theater's cold sure you know and like and it's not gonna hurt my feelings like it's like them being funny well look here's a transition to our subject today but i was i was just gonna say but there are no boobs there's no tits there's is it r it's a hard r very violent interesting but there's no boobs. There's no tits. Is it R? It's hard R. Very violent.

Interesting, but there's no gratuitous nudity. But there's no tits. There's just a penis. So you see one? Yes. Cool. And it's one of those things where I'm like, right, that's the flip in 2019. Yes.

You'll put a dick in it, like a comical dick of, you know, like where you're like, oh my God, it's crazy. Dick's funny? It's very large. Sounds pretty funny to me. But like not like some scene where it's like the girls have a conversation at the gym

or I don't know like whatever those 80s movies had. Right. There was always someone crashing through a window just as someone was removing only their bra. Exactly. Someone decides to take a skinny dip. Right. Hey decides to take a skinny dip. Right, right. Hey, do you want a skinny dip with me?

Well, that's the moment where as a, whatever I was, 12-year-old watching Wet Hot American Summer, I was like, oh, this is the best movie I've ever seen. When I was like watching my rented VHS and they're like watching the girls go skinny dipping and I'm like, okay, here we go. Move closer to your six-inch television. All right. Yeah skinny dipping and I'm like okay here we go move closer to your

six inch television I'm pulling my beanbag chair up closer to the screen I'm like so amped and then they go to like the most romantic sex scene I've ever seen and I was like okay I mean I'm angry because now I don't know what to do with this thing but on

the other hand go on game recognize game good work And I was like, okay, I mean, I'm angry because now I don't know what to do with this thing. But on the other hand. Go on. Game recognized game. Good work. Okay, this was the transition I was going to make out of gross talk. Yeah, let's get out. There are two quotes that have been really sort of jangling around my brain recently.

Jingle, jingle. Jingle, jingle. As you know, I've been in a free fall about the state of the film industry. Yeah, you have. You need to. Particularly the death of movies.

You need to throttle back. Particularly the death of studio comedy. Uh-huh, right. The field I thought I was going to work in. Right? Mm-hmm.

There was the big New York Times, Kyle Buchanan, the future of movies piece. Yes. Right? That everyone's talking about. And the line that jumps out to me that I keep on, New York Times, Kyle Buchanan, the future of movies piece. Yes. Right? That everyone's talking about.

And the line that jumps out to me that I keep on, keeps haunting me. I think it was Tom Rothman said it, where he said- I believe I put it in my article. This generation does not go to the movies. They go to a movie. A movie.

Right. And something like Stuber would succeed when you were like, it's July and you call your boys. Let's just fucking go. And you're like, what's playing? Right. The plan is, let's go see a movie and then you figure out what is least

objectionable to everyone in the group. That's what Stuber's going for. Right. And I was talking to a friend of the podcast, Alex Raspere and we were talking about like, yeah, you like, you know, it's Friday. You don't have school the next day. Let's just go to the theater and then pick the consensus movie. Yeah, let's just watch people.

Right. That is gone. I do think that for a generation, it's like I will go to the theater when there's a thing that compels me to go to the theater. I don't go to the theater because seeing a movie would be fun. Right. But also at that time, where could you see

a movie? You didn't have media. You had to go to the movie. Yes, of course. You couldn't just go home and watch YouTube, which now we can do. If we were going to go home and watch YouTube when we were teenagers, it's like, let's go home and watch Real Player. It's like, for like five minutes.

Let it load. Play, press, pause. Let it load, okay? Let it buffer. Real Player sucked. You guys still do it. Buying DVDs, that was the only way I would see a movie. Of course, yeah.

Well, this is the second thing, okay? So there's an incredible Slate article, which we're going to be quoting a lot because it's one of the craziest things I've ever read about the making of today's film, Miami Vice. Because, of course, there's a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. I'm Griffin. David. Real tight on the cue there.

This is a podcast about filmographies. Directors show massive success early on in their career, give a series of blank checks, make whatever crazy passion products they want, sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they're a fiend for Mojito's baby. Hola chica. It's a main series on the films of Michael Mann.

It's called Cast the Podheekins, aka Michael Mannsplaining. Sure. Today we're talking about David's favorite movie of all time, Miami Vice. Yep. In this long piece, where they're talking about how disastrous the production of Miami Vice is. This film had a somewhat tortured production. And also was the come to Jesus moment, I think, for Colin Farrell on a personal level. Right.

In terms of him rebuilding his life, going to rehab, getting off the sauce. Colin Farrell says that he remembers 0% of making this movie and they finish filming and he immediately walks into rehab. It plays. Hell yeah. Works. He looks good. Fucking good. I wish I could

be that drunk and look that good. That drunk styled that particularly. That unwashed. like unwashed i i mean and this is a movie where like fully 80 of like people who watch it are like he looks like fucking garbage yeah right but like what they are is wrong he's a handsome boy he is and i would like to take him for a mojito or you want to take him out for a mojito? Yes. I just always,

I envy the guys like Colin Farrell or like Mr. R. Patz, Bulbasaur himself, who are able to rock never washing their hair. Right. It just always looks so cool to me.

When I try to do it, I feel disgusting. No kidding. If I don't take when I try to do it I feel disgusting no kidding if I don't take a shower every two hours I feel disgusting but like this is a movie where I would not be surprised if Colin Farrell says that he never shampooed once during production he was probably eating the shampoo

anything that will get him keep him level I imagine Colin Farrell during the filming of Miami Vice, like, Walking Phoenix and the Master, like, tapping, like, gas tanks. Right. Making rocket juice. Yeah, he would drive the Ferrari, and then when they were done, he'd, like, get his siphoning pipe. Alcoholism is no laughing matter. It isn't, and I'm so happy that he figured his shit out. That's the point. That's is no laughing matter. It isn't.

And I'm so happy that he figured his shit out. That's the point. That's why we laugh now. Right, right, right, right. Because we're on the other side of it. Still probably tasteless. But this piece about this disastrous production where Colin Farrell is on the verge of a collapse as a human being

and saves himself from the brink. Right. And when Jamie Foxx wins the Oscar after signing on to this movie. Correct. And starts going insane with how much he can flex his movie star muscle. Right.

And Michael Mann is at perhaps the peak of his like insane perfectionism combined with his indecisiveness. And his obsession with digital photography, which is like in like fully nascent form. All of this. The technology is, not his obsession.

The movie cost $150 million. Oh, yeah. I think it was greenlit somewhere around $100. Yeah. Universal claims it only went up to $135. Liars.

It definitely went up to $150. Yes. And, uh... It made about that worldwide. Yes. Yeah. I think it made $163 worldwide. Right. And. I think it made 163 worldwide. Right.

And the head of Universal, who had only taken the position after Miami Vice had finished filming, this Slate article, because now every weekend when a movie underperforms, there's some like slash film article about like, David Harbour never got along with Neil Marshall or whatever. Sure. And they never get any of the big people to comment on it. Right. Right? Right.

This article is about how Miami Vice was a disaster. And it's like Michael Mann is on the record, right? Everyone's on the record. Is Fox on the record? Fox is the only one not on the record. I was about to say, because he's the, everyone talks about him kind of, you know, he's sort of the villain of Miami Vice. Right.

But like the locations manager apart from Jose Guerra of course the locations manager I'm more of a disco guy they call me crazy pig how many is John Ortiz in? three or four

man movies? yeah he's in Black Hat right? he's in Public Enemies yeah is he in Collateral? he's in another one

I'm gonna look it up okay you keep talking about this article I'm going tangent look it up. You keep talking about this article. I'm going tangent on tangent, but I just have to say this before I forget. Because we forgot this in our Collateral episode somehow. 2004. There are two films

where an emotional centerpiece is the protagonist going to meet Barry Shabaka Henley at a jazz club. Because the other one's Terminal, right? And we've covered the other one on this show. We have covered the other one on this show. There are two. I was like,

why do I feel like we've talked about this scene before when we were talking about the Barry Shabaka Henley scene? And it's because Tom Hanks goes to him and is like, tell me who my father was. I guess it's just the three.

It's three in a row. It's Miami Vice, Public Enemy, Black Cat. He's in all three as different my father was. I guess it's just the three. It's three in a row. Miami Vice, Public Enemies, Black Cat. He's in all three as different characters. Not as the same character. No, but I mean like different, very different types of characters. Like in one, he's an insane Colombian drug lord. Right.

In one, he's like an Italian mobster who's like, what's your problem? Yeah. And in one, he's like a harried middle manager at the FBI. Right. Who's like, God, will you stop hacking? Right,

but he's also like a white collar mobster. Yes. In black, not black, in public enemies. In public enemies. Yeah.

He's a great actor. And then also, he's like a respected, you know, that's his main job is like theater guy. The Labyrinth Theater Company. Yeah,

the Labyrinth Theater guy who's in like Jacko's Boating is like, you know, a divorcee. Right, he was five size BFF. Yeah. Yeah, the Labyrinth Theater guy who's in like Jacko's Boating is like, you know, a divorcee. He was five size BFF. Yeah. He's the villain in Fast Four.

But he's also the villain in Fast Four and then pops up again in Six, maybe? Comes back in Six. Pauly visits him in jail. Old Pauly Walker. He's just a great career. I love it. He's a great career. Wait, let me go back to the thing.

They call him Crazy Pig. They call him Crazy Pig? No, I don't mean that. Yeah, I know. I'm inceptioning back through the levels to remember what we were originally talking about. In this Slate article, the then head of Universal Films,

who goes on the record and talks a lot about this movie, and does not deny that production was difficult. I'm going to get this article. Mark Schmuger. This is where I kept the tab going to get this article. Mark Schmuger. This is where I kept the tab. What a Hollywood name, Mark Schmuger. What about Mark Schmuger? He, in this thing, sorry, I'm trying to find the exact quote.

I can find the quote for you. He, in this thing, says here, yes, okay, the title is How Jamie Foxx Forced a Different Ending on Miami Vice. Fleeing the Scene is the title of the article. But he says here, they're talking about how much money it costs, and that this guy only came on late, and that he's defending all of Michael Mann's decisions in the name of artistry, which no studio head would do today. No, not really. And this is the key difference, and this is what has been ringing in my head

about what kind of kills movies, okay? Man's track record in box office isn't that strong, but studio chairman Schmuger says it's not all about lines at movie houses. And then he says, the key on looking at the profitability of Michael's movies is that they've got a very long tail

well after theatrical round Schmugger maintains. Everybody's seen Heat. Everybody's seen Last of the Mohicans. The films do fantastically well in video on all television outlets overseas. Right. Which used to be so much of how Hollywood made its money. Television sales?

Right. So if you had a movie that really played... International sales. Right. But international sales on TV as that really played. International sales. Right. But international sales on TV as well, right? Mm-hmm. If you had a movie that really played, had high rewatchability, something like Heat, which goes from being a box office disappointment to this movie that must have been immensely

profitable over the decades. Sure. Right? And then in the 2000s, you have this DVD boom where suddenly DVDs are really cheap, take up less space, and people have massive collections of things. And if a movie is good, it makes back its money eventually. Even if it

underperforms theatrically. You have so many different avenues. I'm sorry, I have two devices on. But so these guys like Michael Mann or like David Fincher, you'd be like, God, it's so much more expensive than this movie should be. But I'm betting on quality. Yeah, and it'll have a long tail.

Yes. It's the kind of movie people will keep on watching every time it comes on TNT. Well, when it goes to streaming and when home video dies and TV plays don't matter as much, it really just becomes about how much can you make in theater. Sure. Because there's a lot less potential upside in the ancillary post theatrical window. Sure. And so Miami Vice was universal being like, I know none of this makes sense. I know this movie shouldn't be this difficult and shouldn't cost this much money.

Right. But we're betting on the potential that he makes heat. And even if we've now established a budget that there's no chance we hit in theaters, if it's as good as heat it will continue to make money for us. That's gone now. People don't take these risks anymore.

We can argue about the industry all day, but the streaming industry is like, the potential is just still unknown. How much money is going to be made there? all day but like the streaming industry is like the potential is just still like on unknown like how how much money is going to be made there and like that's going to be that's going to be where all the future shakes out but there is a massive difference in terms of profits on a movie between if it's streaming on a site whether or not you're the conglomerate that owns that site

streaming on a site, whether or not you're the conglomerate that owns that site, versus rentals or the like. There is now. Yes. But in the future where there are 10 big companies running streaming sites bidding, things might change. It's all just shifting that away. But who knows?

Who knows? Very weird time. It's a weird time. He's just like, it's bad. It's bad. As I said to someone the other day when they were asking me about this the the people want to watch shit so bad uh-huh more than ever yep it's all they fucking want yep the world's melting yeah i don't know if you've heard this i've heard i just found out about this but donald trump's president of america wait a second donald j

trump people don't like that. Hosted The Apprentice. Exactly. And so instead, they're like, can I just fucking put my hands in my pants and watch Miami Vice? Wait a second. Slow down. Donald Trump is President of the United States of America? Exactly.

This is nuts. But that guy. Yeah. He's no good very bad. He's no good. He's no good. They call him crazy pig. Okay. He's no good very bad. He's no good. He's no good. They call him crazy pig. Okay, first of all,

first of all, how did that happen? Second of all, how have I not heard about this? You'd think it'd be all over the news. I know. You'd think people would make entire content industries out of covering it. No one's talking about this. What if Seinfeld was like, I want to do 10 minutes on Fallon. He comes out and he's like, you hear about this? Donald uh seinfeld was like i want to do 10 minutes on you know fallon yeah i was like you hear about this all trump's the president that guy was host of the apprentice

i can't even get over he's got silly hair i can't laugh at your joke because i cannot believe that i didn't know that this had happened yeah yeah you think robert de niro would be yelling about it or something oh boy no he hasn't weighed waited yet we're not sure we're waiting he might like the guy we're waiting and see he might like the guy for all i know he's new yorker me for me number one he's a new yorker we stick together robert de niro cries in spider-man every time that the new yorkers throw rocks at the greenlin. He's like, that's what New Yorkers do. I would. Stick together.

God, I would love to. Then he cries like in Silver Lining Playbook when he's like, like that. He's sort of like all over the place. I was going to say.

Go ahead. I would love to get the list of movies that make Robert De Niro cry. I would love for Robert De Niro to be like,

you heard the scenes that always make you cry. For me, it's one. Operation Dumbo drop every time. When they drop that Dumbo. The end of Scooby-Doo. When Matthew Lillard says we're like two freaky pods. P is in a far out pod.

The trailer for Max. Trailer for Max. That dog, he served his country well. I can't even do him. No. No. I feel like sometimes I can't even do him. No. No. I feel like sometimes I can, and then the other 98% of the time,

I so cannot. Sometimes, we can all do the face. We're doing some faces. We're all doing the faces. We're all doing the faces. A lot of it's breathing. A lot of it's the heavy breathing. I like Don Trump

he's in New York he's in New York he came to Tribeca once Ted was very beautiful okay so here's the thing where you and I have been disagreeing no let's not keep fighting

about the industry Jesus let's talk about Miami Vice okay now I'll just say this is my final point alright fine I agree with you people don't want to

watch stuff they're also super entitled and they don't like the idea of paying right but they're going to have to eventually well that's what you say but then what happened to

journalism? Well, that's a I mean, what happened to journalism was Google and Facebook. And so we'll see. And what happened to media was Netflix, who doesn't like paying content creators. Well, I mean, people are going to be paid less.

There's no question about that. I mean, again, I don't know if you've heard about this. Donald Trump's the president. Wait a second, what? He's not protecting people's like rights to be paid, you know,

and earn a living wage. I mean, that must be so difficult for you as someone who has lived in New York your entire life. 33 years I've been here. Never lived in another country. Never lived in another city.

Except for 13 brief years where I was in London. What? What? We should mention at this point that we had a guest we really wanted to have on this episode

who does not live in this city. Right. We were trying for almost a year to schedule and His name was Robert De Niro. His name was Robert De Niro. No, our potential guest was a very, very busy person. Hopefully we'll get him on. We'll have him on for another episode.

We almost had two potential guests on this episode. We're both busy people. But so now we're recording this episode almost at the last possible minute. Yes, 100%. Before we go on vacation and we're loopy. Yeah, we're loopy. It's kind of like the Interstellar episode, another of my favorite of all time movies, when I had a bag and I was going to the train.

Yeah, I was sick and hung over the day after you were the Tick premiere, right? In between filming days on Hot Air available on digital August something.

Really? 29th. Yeah. It's finally getting released. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Hot Air. Yeah.

We're like hot guy. Can I will something into existence? Pointing at Griffin. Can I will something into existence? Sure. Hot Air.

My last time ever playing an assistant. Wow. What if like Fincher calls right now and he's like, I'm making this movie. It's called The Assistant. I know. Someone's going to fucking call me out on this. Yeah, but you know what I'll say? Go ahead.

Then you've proven me wrong in my notion that I will never get work ever again. Right. You'll just be like, oh yeah, sounds great. I'm going to do it. Either way, I win. Okay. Okay. Come on. It's been 35 minutes. Jesus Christ. Miami Vice.

I mean, that's pretty normal for us. Michael Mann's done two Jamie Foxx movies in a row. That's right. Jamie Foxx has been growing and gaining stature as a dramatic actor. Yeah. He was in Breaking All the Rules.

Right. And then he started Breaking All the Rules in Hollywood. He did a stand-up special called Jamie Foxx Straight from the Foxhole. What's his last stand-up special? Jamie Foxx Unleashed, Lost, Stolen, and Leaked in 2003. Wow. And let's not forget the one in the middle there, Jamie Foxx, I might need security. Do you know why

he picked the name Jamie Foxx? Because it's a completely made up name? No. Because he was doing stand-up and he thought it was better out there for women in stand-up.

So he picked a gender neutral name because he thought he'd get booked more if they thought mistakenly that he was a woman. Yeah, his name is Eric Bishop, which is a perfectly good name. And I'll say this. He looks like an Eric Bishop.

Yeah. Well, when you watch him in Miami Vice, you're like, I believe this guy's name is Eric Bishop. Yeah. That kind of goatee, he looks like an Eric Bishop. Sure. You know what else he looks like? What? Jamie Foxx.

He does. He does. But at that point, at this point, we're like, is it on him on a Pia? Like, of course that's what Jamie Foxx looks like. Yeah, I know. It's true. What were you going to say? He's getting bigger and bigger, and he says to Michael Mann, hey, here's an idea.

At the Ali premiere, I believe, he went up to him, and he was like, he pitched him the opening scene. Yeah. Like, it wasn't just like, we should do Miami Vice. He was like, Michael, Michael, Michael, you got to listen to me. And like laid it all out. Right. I don't think he was like in higher Colin Farrell, but he was like a nine tubs. Right. Right.

And Michael Mann was like your number eight on the call sheet. Go, go suck a lemon. You know, it was like that. I don't know. And it comes back around. He gives him the bigger part in collateral. And I think Fox restokes that fire. You know?

Yeah. He's like, come on, we should really do this. And they go into Universal and they were like, at this point, this is like peak, I love the 80s, everyone's making fun

of 80s culture, look how corny it was. When did GTA Vice City come out? 2003? Three or four. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. So like, everyone's like having their laughs. The aesthetic is in. Right. Because now we've come back around to this like Stranger Things. When is this?

When is 2006? 2006. A little before Vaporwave, but like getting there. Right. They're filming this movie in 05. I'm saying now we're going through the 80s revival, the Stranger Things thing where people have like nostalgia. Sure.

Like they love it. Remember how good the 80s made you feel. Sure. And back then in 2005, everyone was just like, the colors were dumb. People wore pink shirts. Right. Question mark. Right. So they were like, here's the pitch. What if no pastels? Right. You do Miami Vice. You said it now. Right. And it's actually about a Vice squad. Like, it's not MTV Cops, it's about, like, the risk of these

guys going undercover. Yeah, it's like a slightly glamorized, certainly blockbusterized version of what, like, being an undercover Vice agent is. And everyone's, like, fucking slam-dunk premise. Here's the guy who created the show, coming back to it 20 years

later, it defined a generation. He's going to update it for a new generation. Jamie Foxx and Colin Farrell seemed like the perfect choices. He's coming off of his first $100 million grocer. Swat? I'm saying Michael Mann

is coming off his first $100 million grocer. So is Jamie Foxx. I mean, Colin Farrell. His father was a grocer. Yeah, his father was more of probably like a $50,000 grocer. Right. More of a lettuce grocer. Everyone's like, this is so straight down the middle.

Does Michael Mann do what you did for Collateral, but in Miami Vice? Right. With these actors. 100%. And instead, it's like his Fitzcarraldo. Where he's like, we're going to film

inside a hurricane. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. He would like, have his location managers say like, what are the most

dangerous neighborhoods? Where would you say we shouldn't film? It's his Fitzcarraldo and Jamie Foxx's Klaus Kinski. Right. Yeah. Because Jamie Foxx

wills the movie into existence essentially. And then is like, fuck this. And at a certain point, Jamie Foxx walks off. Right. Yeah. Because Jamie Foxx wills the movie into existence, essentially. Right. And then is like, fuck this. And at a certain point, Jamie Foxx walks off the movie. Yeah. That's why Jamie Foxx is not in a lot of it. Really? He had to keep rewriting it.

Like, I think there was always the plan, you know, for the whole gangly. Tops is the secondary character. But this is the thing. They, right after Collateral, set up the movie. Right? They get Colin Farrell attached. Yes. But this is the thing. They, right after Collateral, set up the movie, right? They get Colin Farrell attached. Yes. Colin Farrell is going to get like, you know.

I think like $15 million. $15 million. Jamie Foxx is going to get like $8 million. Colin Farrell is going to be top bill. And then over the course of the next like nine months, as pre-production development leads to actual, you know, the active pre-production. Jamie Foxx has won an Oscar. Yep.

Has had two huge hits in a row. Released an album at this point. Of course. Right. More than one album, I think. Yes, but featured on, is like the guy now. Yeah.

And he demanded after the contract, months after the contracts had been settled, I need to be first billed, and I need to make more money than Colin Farrell. Right. And Colin Farrell was like, fine, I'll take less money.

Yeah, I think Colin Farrell was very much like, huh? Right. Okay. Because he was so strung out, one. Right. And two, it's like, yeah, I mean,

Michael Mann seems cool. I think Colin Farrell was, like, Colin Farrell's coming off of a Malick movie. Right. You know, and like, he had done SWAT. He'd done that block where it's like Daredevil, SWAT, The Recruit, where it was just like plug him in, plug him in.

Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's hot. He's hot. Yeah. And then he kind of like, he's been slowing down a little bit. He did The New World. He did, you know, the Malick movie, which he's phenomenal in. Yeah.

And so I think he's getting to be in the phase we now know him as where he's like, I kind of just want to work with directors who are legendary or interesting. And this is sort of his last time trying to carry a conventional blockbuster for five years. Right. Because he goes from this back into like, In Bruges.

I think that he doesn't make anything between this and In Bruges, right? Right. That's what I'm saying. No, I know. Well, no. He makes Ask the Dusk also comes out this year, which is the Robert Towne movie. That had been shot a while already. It was an old one. He makes Cassandra's Dream

with Woody Allen, Ewan McGregor, which is a fascinating movie. And like his lowest grossing film of the last 20 years or something. It was like a Kennes Towne Brothers thriller. Whatever. It was set in the neighborhood I grew up in, in England. What?

And then in 2008 he has Pride and Glory, which is like a pretty down the middle decent cop drama by Gavin O'Connor that's like fine. Agreed. And In Bruges, which is people being like, oh yeah, this guy was like a lightning in a bottle talent.

We kind of forgot about him. And that's he wins the Golden Globe and he gives the speech where he's like, I thought I was out. I'm glad people gave me a second chance. You can tell how overwhelmed he is. Like he's so genuinely like, oh my God. Yeah. And like for a little weird movie.

And this is sober Colin Farrell who seemingly is like, I don't want to star in $100 million movies anymore. And also, you know, around that time is when he, he has the kid who has like a developmental disability, which he's also talked about like sort of helped set shit up for him.

He had responsibility in his life for the first time. And then after that is when, right, he makes like Andine, Triage, Crazy Heart, Dr. Parnassus where he's just like, if you got a role for me, I'd love to be on set with you. I'll do it. I got no ego. But he always seems like a guy who never had an ego.

The fact that, like, Jamie Foxx was like, I need to make more money than Colin Farrell. And instead of Colin Farrell being like, fuck you. Right. And forcing them to pay Jamie Foxx more money. Yeah. He was like, just take it out of my salary and give it over to him. Right. And make him first build, even though that character has always been secondary. And in the movie.

Right. And then Jamie Foxx was like, I'm not gonna shoot all this shit. Was apparently one of these, like, I'm only doing two takes. I'm done for the day. There's that vibe. Although, I still think that Jamie Foxx is great in this movie. I think he's very good in this movie.

I also think Jamie Foxx is just like such an effortlessly charming actor. Yeah. He's very compelling. Exactly. Yeah. And like, you know, they did horrible bosses together. I have no idea if they interacted in that movie, which is such an effortlessly charming actor yeah like he's very compelling exactly yeah and like you know they did horrible bosses together i have no idea if they interacted in that movie which is sort of funny i think they don't they i don't think they do right because that movie's so vignettey yeah but like ben look at this poster here's the original poster colin farrell academy award winner jamie foxx and then they swap it then they swap it. Then they swap it.

Okay. Yeah. I don't know. It's a great poster. That just rarely happens, though, that they swap billing. But I mean, I'm just more,

it's like, are you happy now? Yeah, exactly. Okay. I mean, because already the poster is, I feel like the original poster, the way they're designing is like,

yeah, Colin has first billing, but your face is foregrounded. So, like, didn't we just split the difference? Like, who cares? But I love this poster. Yeah, it's cool. I mean, that's when I was like, this movie's going to be huge. And then I remember the trailer was only available on, like...

The trailer rocked. It's set to Namonkor. Yes. Yes. But I feel like I remember, like, waiting for the trailer to come out and it only being visible, no law. David's showing me the poster that says no law. And his finger's pointing up like he's getting an erection. Thumbs up.

David's pointing at himself and he's making the finger like he's getting an erection. He wants me to know that he gets an erection when he looks at Colin Farrell's solo character poster for the 2000. David's like throwing his hands up. He's like, I'm in a soundproof booth. Like I'm laying down a hit. No order is the Gong Li poster. And he's pointing at it. He's giving a thumbs up. Now he's making it rain. David is up. Now he's making it rain.

David is miming that he is making it rain. Okay, now he's turned it around again. And this time we have a poster that says no order. And is that John Ortiz? This is the John Ortiz character poster. And David is miming like the sun is rising. Like it's sort of always like that. It's like an atom bomb explosion.

It's like a mushroom cloud off of John Ortiz's character poster. One forgets that John Ortiz got a character poster. I fully forgot that John Ortiz had a character poster. I assume there's another character poster coming. No, that's it. Jamie Foxx didn't have a character poster. Oh, no, he did. I'm sorry.

He didn't show me that. Please complete the bit. Okay, so this one says no rules. And it's Jamie Foxx. And David is turning his laptop back around. He's not doing any bits this time. He held up his hands like, what are you going to do? It's fine. I mean, I wish, like, you know, Dominic...

I wish Eddie Marson had got one. I wish Barry Shabaka Henley had one. No accent, coach. My girlfriend Tista 14, we were watching this movie together. Oh, great. And when Barry Shabaka Henley... Congratulations on the greatest date of all time. It was stressful.

Why? I find this to be a very stressful movie to watch, as did she, because it is so hard to follow. Oh, God. I mean, it helps that I've seen this movie 100 times, as did she, because it is so hard to follow. Oh, God. I mean, it helps that I've seen this movie 100 times, but sure. Admittedly, this is a dense, obtuse film. I got questions for sure for you.

I'm ready. You want question number one, or no? You go. We'll get to it. We're watching the movie. He comes on screen, right, in like a group dialogue scene. Barry Chewbacca-Henley? Right. He In like a group dialogue scene. Barry Shabaka Henley? Right.

He's in like the same scene. Playing the Edward James Olmos role. Right, which is incredible. Right. Yeah. But he's in like the scene with like Karen Hines on the rooftop. And like six people are talking. And they never introduce him properly.

Yeah. And she was like, who's that guy? And I was like, he's like their chief. Right. And she was like, no, I mean, who's that? Who's that actor? Who is this guy? Where did that face come from? The most incredible face. And I was like, that guy's

one of my favorite character actors. Don't try to shine me on. He's got one of the best faces of all time. His name is Barry Chewbacca Henley. And she went, wait a second. His name is Barry Chewbacca Henley? And she thought, like, oh, it must be spelled differently.

Yeah. But his name is actually Barry Chewbacca Henley. Right. Which would be cool. Be very cool. It'd be cool if he was like, I'm named after my greatest hero, Chewbacca. Yeah. Well, I mean, it would be his father's hero.

Is everything good, Ben? Yeah. Okay. Just didn't want to lose anything. All right. Miami Vice. All right. So you find this movie stressful.

I do. I mean, so we're preparing to watch it, and there's like the one sentence description on Netflix. What's the one sentence description on Netflix? It's like two Miami Vice squad agents have to work with a drug dealer in order to bust up a deal or whatever. Okay. I'm going to find it.

I'm going to find what the... Yeah, find the one sense. Yeah. But we were getting to watch it, and I was like, I have only seen this movie once before. Oh, you've only seen it once. I saw it 15 years ago.

Right. I saw it in theaters. I could not make sense of it. I know many people who love it now. Right. In my mind, it plays better than it did when I saw it. Sure. My advice to you is the way I'm going into this movie now,

seeing it for a second time, is do not even try to make sense of what's going on. You don't have to. It's fine. You just got a vibe on this thing. Attempting to identify the group behind a recent string of murders. Kind of. Behind murders.

It's not a string. Kind of. It's a shooting. Right. Detectives Tubbs and Crockett. Correct. Work undercover. Correct.

With a South Florida drug dealer. I mean, with is stretching it, but sure. Yeah. They pretend to work with him, I guess. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's more of a Colombian drug dealer, but whatever.

It's okay. She kept asking me for clarification. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. He's more of a Colombian drug dealer, but whatever. It's okay. She kept asking me for clarification. Yeah. And I was like, I don't know. And I think you need to stop attempting to figure out. Okay. Just watch it 10 more times. Well, I guess that's the solution.

Right. But I was constantly having such a hard time tracing what everyone was doing in relation to everyone else. I enjoyed it a lot more this time. I do not love this movie as much as you do. It's hard. That'd be hard. Yes. But it is one of those films.

And I'm someone, I will say, I am someone who, like, I think in, like, a control issue way, gets stressed out when I feel like I can't figure out what a movie's doing. Okay. You won't just sort of, like, give yourself over to it and be like, I'll figure this out later. I've been working on it. Sure, sure, sure. I have been trying to more and more let go.

Right. Let me just sort of, like, seed my... Right. Right. But, like, sometimes I need people to tell me that in advance. But even, like, Inherent Vice, a movie where on the first time I was like, I cannot fucking deal with this movie. Yeah, which is, that's, I would say to tell me that in advance. But even like Inherent Vice, a movie where on the first time I was like, I cannot fucking deal with this movie. Yeah, which is that's I would say even more stressful than this movie.

Right. I was like, this is the most antagonistic movie I've ever seen. Sure. And then I saw it. I need to rewatch that one. Two more times in theaters and I've watched it probably three more times at home and I love it. Clearly. But when I went back to it, I was just like, I'm now going to go into it knowing that none of this matters.

Having made it to the ending of the movie and knowing that the thing never makes sense and just trying to vibe on the guy and the world and I tried to do that with this film and I was certainly more successful than when I saw it in theaters but it still stresses me out being like wait what am I supposed to know and what am I not

supposed to know at this point and what's your question Ben so they go I don't remember exactly because, it's so hard to kind of like track this movie. Right, yeah. But basically, when he first meets the pig man, he pulls a grenade, pulls the pin. Yeah. They have this tense moment. Then they get back to business. Right.

What happens to the grenade? Put the pin back in. He put the pin back in? What did that happen? Do you see that happening? I know the rule. I'm presuming that. I see a grenade.

Someone pulls the pin. It'd be funny if they were like, he's like, can you take this and just like throw it pretty far away from you? I needed that. I needed closure. When I see a grenade

and activate it, I've got to see the explosion. I don't understand what you guys are talking about. Deathbed rules. I was about... No, that's just Michael Manzo monster Princess Leia. and activated. I've got to see the explosion. I don't understand what you guys are talking about. Deathbed rules. No, that's just Michael Mann's homage to Princess Leia. Yeah, yes.

My girlfriend at that scene said I should do this every time I have a general meeting. Walk in with a hand grenade. We don't close our eyes right now. Yeah. Do you want to fuck my partner? Or do you want to do business with him?

The big Jamie Foxx walkout thing was they were filming in all these dangerous neighborhoods. Michael Mann would almost look for the neighborhoods that people told him not to film in. In the Dominican Republic. Areas where the police don't even go. Sure. And then they would hire the drug gangs to work as security. That is not true. That is an exaggeration.

They hired sort of like a paramilitary sort of like somewhat government affiliated group to do security. Shady. And then what happened was, and Colin Farrell was on Bill Simmons' podcast in a pretty lovely conversation because he's a lovely guy. And you can tell that Simmons, like me,

likes Miami Vice and is like, oh, let's talk about it it colin farrell's like i i'm not trying to be rude i honestly don't remember a lot of that movie like i just honestly don't yeah but he's like one thing i do remember is the day the shooting happened on set my dad was visiting and gong lee was there and we heard the gunfire and i know what gunfire sounds like and i just like ushered them i was like let's just you And I just like ushered them. I was like, let's just, you know, and like I ushered them back like into like a sort of a safer place. And we like sat there for hours and hours because what had happened was someone had tried to approach the set. Right. And was like, hey, it's a movie set.

And rather than like the security guy, it's like, I don't know, like just grabbing him or pushing him away. They just shot him. They were like, what the fuck are you doing? And shot him. Because it was a little more hair trigger situation back then. That's an issue. When the production moved to a relatively upscale

era, this is from the Slate article. A local man, a police officer, approached the set, he wasn't in uniform, A local man, a police officer, approached the set, got into a quarrel with a guard, one supplied by the Dominican military, and allegedly pulled a gun. The man was shot and wounded. It was very scary man. He didn't die.

Just shot and wounded. What if this guy has six brothers? What if they blamed us? All these questions rush into your head. Interesting that that's where man goes, where he's like, I don't want some brother coming after me. Six. Some gang of brothers. He was worried about six of them.

Right. He says care was taken to ensure that the cast and crew would leave the set safely that day. Yeah. But immediately after that incident, Fox and his entourage packed up and left for good. Jamie basically changed the whole movie in one stroke, a crew member says, and not in his opinion for the better. The ending that was supposed to be shot in Paraguay

would have been much more dramatic. I think there's this ending that's probably going to be in this dramatic landscape, right? If it's in Paraguay with these mountains or whatever. They probably had some cool triple frontier shit locked and loaded, and Jamie Foxx was like, I will only shoot if it's in america

that was and so instead it's like in some warehouses in miami he walks off after uh off the set at that point and says i will only film in the united states of america at this point uh that's not he made universal get him a private jet for the movie right um uh asked about fox's departure man doesn't speak for a moment and then says, you hear the sound of silence. I mean, they never work together again. Nope. After three films collaborating together. But then earlier in the same article, they're asking man about Jamie Foxx.

And he says, I'm not going to dish dirt about jamie he has a unique process of acting and most people don't understand it he and i are real close that allows us to disagree about stuff sure sure okay i mean i think he likes i think michael manning is in is a difficult person right i think he's pretty uh happy to call you an asshole, like, publicly on set or whatever. You know, like, he'll challenge you. They're talking about the thing, though, in this article where, like, every night, apparently, Michael Mann would, like, talk for two hours into a recorder and then someone would transcribe it. And then all the department heads would get the transcription and try to figure out what they needed to do based off of that. And they were like, it included all the ahs and ums in it, like written out.

Fair enough. And they were saying like one of the reasons the movie cost so much money was he would like rewrite every day and change his mind. And he'd be like, I want to keep all my options open. Can we book these five locations? And then I'll decide on Tuesday which one we use. We booked these five locations, and then I'll decide on Tuesday which one we use. And they were saying, like, it is very expensive to shut down a highway, to, like, get permits in a foreign country, or, like, figure out when you're going to fly the crew from one country to another. And a thing that I found very telling is in this article, the head of Universal defends him.

Right, right, right, right. Saying, I think it's actually very commendable that he is not that locked in. That he is, I want to find his exact wording here. I'll find it. I can give it to you. Because I have it here. So someone who works with him, a crew member, says he was almost like a kid in a candy shop. That kind of indecision becomes a systemic thing.

It's hard at the last minute to make deals with vendors, rent a plane, close down a freeway. Michael Mann says, like, you know, you do whatever you do to get the best out of the scene. And then Mark Schmuger says, he's become an enthusiastic backer

of the director's methods. And Schmuger says, I actually marvel at his ability to keep all of his creative options open. He's fearless. He's willing to try everything. That's a process that does involve wear and tear on everybody.

And I'm seeing here that Mark Schmuger is, oh, not still the head of Universal. Yes. I mean, that job is. Here is another point I want to make. People moving in and out of those jobs. Yes.

Just because it needs to be brought up again. Okay? Okay. Michael Mann's good and this is a good movie. Correct. Sure. But here is an unfair systemic thing if we're talking about the systems. Yeah.

Every female director who does that. Of course. It's called a maniac. They we're talking about the systems. Yeah. Every female director who does that. Of course. It's called a maniac. They don't know what they want. Right. Right. That was always the fucking Nancy. Every crew person I know who's worked with Nancy Meyers says like she's a maniac.

Yeah. She doesn't know what she wants. She can't make up her mind. You can't light a sweater. You know where it's right. Michael Mann's like well we're making a movie here about cops. This is a real thing. Right.

Right. Right. And Michael Mann he like, well, we're making a movie here about cops. This is a real thing. Right, right, right. And Michael Mann, he can't make up his mind and the head of Universal is like, he's actually more creative than the rest of us. I think it's great that he can't make a choice. This is all fair.

I also think like, as much as Jamie Foxx has sort of gotten public shit for walking off the set of this movie, I might be mad too if there was like, you know, gunfire on a set and you feel like the situation's unsafe and like,

I don't know that Jamie Foxx is like entirely in the wrong for flipping out. Here are other things. I don't, I don't know. He refused to be on a boat or a plane.

Yeah, I've heard that, which is, have you seen my, he, it's so funny because he's the one who's like,

Miami Vice, we gotta do it. Miami, on the water. That's the the one who's like, Miami Vice, we got to do it. Miami, on the water. That's the problem. This is a show that's defined by them constantly traveling on or above the water. He wanted to make it and then was like, not doing the vehicles. All right, Jamie. Right?

And doesn't want to go to the other countries. Some of his concerns were justified. other countries. Like, you know, some of his concerns were justified. Yeah. But I also think he was at a level of like star fuckery that he could justify anything he was feeling.

This is why this movie is so special. You have Michael Mann with the studios who are like, I guess do whatever you want. Cause he like finally is like beginning to generate like real profit. And this is also, like you said, this is 10 years after heat. And they're like,

do you know how much money we make off heat every year? You know, it's the same thing. Exactly. So they're like, fuck it. Let him do what he wants and all of that. Right. after Heat, and they're like, do you know how much money we make off Heat every year? And Mark Higgins is the same thing. Exactly. So they're like, fuck it. Let him do what he wants. Jamie Foxx, he's like, I am a god. I will do what I want. Let him do what he wants. Colin Farrell, he's like, I'm too famous.

I don't know what's happened to me. I'm not a person anymore. But also, by all accounts, Colin Farrell is like the inverse of Jamie Foxx, where he just likes giving himself to a director. Right, and just like, do with me what you want. Exactly. And all the crew people who speak in this article are like, Colin is so professional.

Yeah. He knows all of his lines. He shows up. He's good every take, which is incredible because he was blasted out of his mind drunk. Right, totally. But Colin's like, what's it, a go-fast boat?

What does it do? Go fast? Sure, let's go. And they were like, he'll do anything. And Jamie has a very small list of things he will do. Right. Whereas like, that's why I like something like Yorgos Lanthimos when I interviewed him,

he clearly just loves Colin Farrell. Cause he can just say to Colin Farrell, we're like more like a robot, more like less, less like, let me control you. Cause you know, these directors who are like,

I know exactly what I want you to do. I think he relishes being a color on someone else's palette. I think he likes being just a utility. But he's so sweet because he's like, yeah, Miami Vice, I mean, that one's a mess. And people are saying to him on podcast, like, no, it's great. And he's like, I guess so. And then later, True Detective season two comes up and he's like, no one liked that one. And the guy's like, I don't know.

I mean, it's weird and you're good in it. And he's like, I guess so. He's never gonna be like you know like full of himself about these things no but all three of these guys I think kind of are embarrassed by this movie Fox and Farrell and man and

it has built this like even within like a year or two yeah there's a Steve Hayden quote on the Wikipedia that's him saying like I feel like it has now been accepted within certain circles as one of the best action movies ever made the plot and the dialogue are incomprehensible

but you just gotta feel it and Harmony Koran is like that's my whole mood board for Spring Breakers I wanted to bring this up I definitely picked up on that I'm going to read you the quote the reason I love man's like, that movie has the thing. I'm going to read you the quote. I'll read you the quote. The reason I love man's movies, and that movie in particular, is that I can feel the place.

When I watch the film, I don't even pay attention to what they're saying or the storyline. I love the colors. I love the texture. And that's definitely right. Spring Breakers. That's his vibe. Yes.

Yes. I think Spring Breakers is superior. Oh, that's too far. But that's, I mean, name a movie. I'm sitting right here. Name another movie. Name a movie. And say it's superior to Miami Vice. Okay, I think Toy Story 2 is superior

to Miami Vice. Come to play. Come to play. Spring Breakers might be on my top 10 of the last decade. I mean, next year we're going to do our blankies for the decade, right? Okay, Midnight Run. Midnight Run. I mean, that's a good movie.

Yeah, right? Love Miami Vice, though. We've got to be the Breast Men. The Breast? Oh, we've got to do Breast and Show as a miniseries. No, we've got to do the Showtime made-for-TV movie Breast Men about the guys who invented breast implants. Yes.

Starring David Schwimmer and... Chris Cooper? I think you're right. Right? Schwimmer and Cooper? Here, I got it. That's a movie I used to Google a lot when I was 13, if you catch my drift.

No. Okay, David's going to the bathroom. We can talk about anything. Oh, true. Okay, what should we do? bathroom. We can talk about anything. Oh, true. Okay, what should we do? We're like children in a candy shop. I mean, Spring Breakers is definitely better than Miami Vice, right? Yeah.

A bunch of people are going to come out at us because people love Miami Vice. Everyone who listens to the podcast loves Miami Vice. But you and I, we're on the same page about this. 100%. Spring Breakers rules. It's such a good movie. It's so good. It's going to be like a defining movie, I think, for I guess the 2000s.

Yeah, and I love Harmony less than you do. I like him. I know he's like your number one guy. He really is. I think that movie's a masterpiece. Yeah. Yeah. I love Spring Breakers, and I also love too that it-

That's what we talked about while you were on the path. I mean, I love Spring Breakers too, and I think he's great in Spring Breakers. I think he's either my winner or close that year for supporting actor. I love him in Milk. I think he's the heart of that movie. I think that's a phenomenal performance. He's given a lot of great performances. He's also a fucking weirdo. He's probably a terrible guy.

Yeah, exactly. And he does so much bad work because he's insisted on doing so much. Yeah, right. That movie to me is like it's like about aging like punk. Yeah. And like how it catches up with you and you can't live like this. Yeah. Like the real

consequences. That's a great read. Yeah. I mean we should do Kareem just for Ben. For Ben's music. And I would like to bring us back to Miami Vice. He's doing a circle with his hand. And I would like to say that I want a stash house. I always thought, I always, anytime I see a stash house, I'm like, I want a stash house. So stash houses seem like aesthetically cool.

That could be, I mean, you could turn your parents' house in New Jersey into a stash house. And that's what I'm thinking. You could treat it like your stash house. Yeah, I'm just going to have it empty. The location of the infamous, yeah, the Barry James. All right. Let's commit to this right now, though. Okay.

Harmony, Corinne, and March Madness next year. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, right. Absolutely. It's going to be an all weirdos bracket. I think we're not going to put any canonical favorites in the bracket. Exactly. No winners.

Yeah. Winners, but not allowed. It's the losers bracket. So if you go on to hear me fucking lose it over gummo. Yeah. Winners not allowed. It's the loser's bracket. So if you want to hear me fucking lose it over gummo. Yeah. Man, you know who to vote for. Wow. 16 people are excited right now.

Okay. So Miami Vice. We've been talking about it, but now let's get into the movie. I will literally bring a tub into the studio. Tubs? Okay. And soak in tomato juice. Oh, interesting.

Okay. So I'm going to remove Harmony Con from the bracket. Let me just delete. Where's the delete button? Here it is. Oh, interesting. Okay, so I'm going to remove Harmony Koran from the bracket. Let me just delete. Where's the delete button? Here it is. Here we go. Next year's bracket. Harmony Koran.

Lenny Ray Finch-Tall. Walt Becker, who didn't hire me, so now I can go back to saying whatever. So it's the vulgar auteur's bracket? Should we do that? Vulgarity. Kind of maybe. I'm going to say that now, though,

just now that I'm definitive to say that now though just now that I'm definitively not in the Clifford the Big Red Dog movie. Fuck Walt Becker. I mean I was still but I was like I want to watch this guy work.

Right. I was so fucking close to being in that movie. Yep. As Clifford. Not as Clifford. Not as Clifford. As the paw.

I would have just been the physical stand in for the paw. At this point the D&D episode's dropped, right? Yeah. So the world's been introduced to your character who has a dog hand? Dog punch. Well, his hand is a paw that turns into a bite.

It turns into a bite. Whatever the fuck that is. Whatever that was. And I was like, yeah, you do that. Sure, go ahead. That's fine. You do that. The language of not, he's got a dog par that turns into

a mouth. It turns into a bite. It turns from a thing into an action. It's got teeth in there. Yeah, it turns into a bite. Miami Vice. Miami Vice. Okay. Cold Open's your favorite part. It's pretty good. Just smash

to the middle of numb encore yeah they're in a club this album called collision collision course collision course right uh the jay-z lincoln park uh album right and it's uh it's uh lincoln park's numb which is uh you know i've become so um all that and then encore which is a pretty great Jay-Z song from the Black Album. Encore, do you want more? Yeah. Now, the director's cut removes this? Or is there another scene before it?

Is that what happens? Fucking director's cut. Because you hate the director's cut, right? It sucks. I hate the director's cut. Let me... I have actually a list here. Yeah, the director's cut opens on like a boat race.

Okay. And there's like opening cut opens on like a boat race. Okay. And there's like opening credits over it. So that sucks. And then there's like a little more with Neptune, who's played by Isaac de Bancole. Yes. Who's like the sort of the guy they're working when they get interrupted by all this.

Right. So there's some of that. But you and most fans of this movie love the in media res drop you in with no fucking time to assimilate explanation right they're in this club they're all kind of moving around can barely hear what they're saying what they're saying is entirely incomprehensible lingo yeah exactly and uh jamie foxx likes at one point kind of like breaks the guy's hand who's sort of trying to touch him dom goes to some room with two women yeah don lombardazzi yeah i mean the the i love

dom the crew you know they don't get a lot to do but it's a good crew it's a weird crew miami harris justin thoreau justin thoreau um what's uh don lardozzi. The Wire is maybe just finished or ongoing. The Wire is getting close to the end of its run. Elizabeth Rodriguez who I love. She was in Fear the Walking Dead. She's been around. She was in Orange is the New Black.

I know we're finally getting into the movie. Can we just sidebar Naomi Harris for one second? This is one of those careers are so long trajectories I find fascinating. Okay. There's like, you know. She's very new at this point. This is the same year

as Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah, right. These are her two big studio films she gets off of 28 Days Later. 28 Days Later and she's been in some English miniseries

and she's in White Tees. She's like an English TV actress, right? Yeah. She gets in Danny Boyle's experimental film that then becomes a surprise sort of crossover success. 100%. And that's very much that thing where it's like, oh, Cillian Murphy's going to be in Hollywood films now. Naomi Harris is going to be in Hollywood films now.

They were in the thing that broke out and we're going to put them into things. And she, this summer, is in two huge movies. Yes. Parts of the Caribbean where she is so fucking good. Sure. In the first one, she's fun. She's in two and three. No, she's in, yeah, two and three. Sorry. Yeah the first one, she's fun. She's in two and three. No, she's in, yeah, two and three.

Sorry. Yeah, you're right. You're right. It's two and three. Well, she's Calypso. She's the goddess. She's the weird voodoo lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's great. She's the hood. And then- And then Thelma. Yeah, she rules it. She's so fucking weird in those movies. She is. I agree.

She's the best performance in the sequels. No. Who's better? Geoffrey Rush. One of the most phenomenal performances Just incredible In three? Just outrageously good We gotta do them right now

Stop the podcast We're watching them all It's getting gory in here I wanna go get peanuts Ben's gonna go get peanuts Okay I mean I'm going to go get peanuts. Ben's going to go get peanuts. Okay. I mean, and then she kind of like bounces around. I mean, what did you want to say about Naomi Harris?

Okay, Ben's gone. What can we talk about only while Ben's gone? Only while Ben's here. Europa. Nothing up with Europa right now. He doesn't even care about Europa. That's true. Like low key, I think he couldn't pick it up out of a line.

If we like put four planets on them. Yeah. Four bodies on the wall. Yeah. A hundred percent. You could put here's how much

he doesn't care about Europa. Let's tell him Europa was in Miami Vice. Here's how much he doesn't care. Hey how's it going? Oh sure I'll take a bag of peanuts.

Thank you. It's going to be four hours long. But I feel like she does those, and then it's like, oh, I guess she didn't really connect as a blockbuster person. Then she goes back to smaller movies. Then by the time she gets brought into Skyfall, it was kind of like, oh, Naomi Harris?

Hey, Naomi Harris. Huh. As Miss Moneypenny. Right, like, oh, right, oh, right, where are you? No one ever really figured out what to do with her. Right. And then she gets her Oscar nomination nomination she's terrific right but then she like gets it as like she's the only bankable name in moonlight somewhat recognizable person in moonlight and they only had

herschel at two days right she i think either two or three days it was like an incredibly short amount of yeah yes and it was one of those things where they, like, they were like, you have to be at 100 immediately because we just have no time. Right. Because that's a demanding and difficult role. Right. She only,

I think that she only had three days because they couldn't work out her visa. So she was only able to be there for a very short period of time. Sure. And she's the only one who works with all three Chirones. Right.

I mean, she's a looming, important figure. Right. And she has, like, she's on, you know, it's crack. She important figure like and she has like she's on you know it's crack right she's okay and like she's you know bothering her kid but then there's also like the emotional scene with grown-up chiron where like she's crying with him and you know like it's

a lot to do those three phases are wildly different yeah yeah and they're bringing a different act i mean anyway whatever i think it's a great performance i do too like that performance gets kind of like shaded a little bit because people are like, oh, it's the most like actor-y performance. One of my biggest regrets on this podcast, in which I regret almost everything I've ever said, is I feel like I kind of shaded her in our blankies that year. And she's great. Because I picked Janelle over her for supporting actors.

But they're both great performances. Big. Yeah. But she's in this movie, but like the rest of the supporting cast including Barry Shabaka Henley they don't have a ton to do because they are playing characters who are from a TV show and in TV shows

you're going to have 22 episodes and each supporting character might get a couple episodes you get to see plots and this is a big movie but it's still a 132 minute movie like it's just not that long and so they are in it. And you're kind of like, holy shit, Justin Theroux. But Jamie Foxx and Naomi Harris are dating and they're in love.

Hell yeah. They like to cuddle in the shower. Oh, hell yeah. It's amazing how much more this scene shows off Jamie Foxx's body than Naomi Harris's body. I love it. Which I'm sure was a Jamie Foxx demand. Hell yeah. Because he got into movie star shape. Jamie Foxx looks incredible in this movie.

He looks insane. Jamie Foxx is someone where I could probably, I don't know, dress him in shit rags. I'd be like, God, these shit rags are vibing right now. I'm not saying this is a positive nor negative. I'm just stating it as an empirical fact. He's got the single tightest ass I've ever

seen in this movie. Wait, Pacino? Is he in this new studio? He's got a tight ass! Go back to sleep. Let me sleep. You could make diamonds in that thing, though. Yeah, 100%. Shane Fox's butt crack in this movie?

I call it the diamond pipeline. I don't know. I'm sorry. Everyone needs a break after that one. Yeah. Okay. All right. No, no.

We're in the club. The club scene's incredible. God knows what's going on. No one knows. Fucking incredible. And at this point in the movie also, God literally comes down from the clouds. He's like, for the record,

I don't know what's going on. Man was off the reservation. Before you say God knows what's going on, I want to make it very clear, I cannot follow this movie. Then Crockett gets a concerning call from a CI played by John Hawks playing a character called Alonzo.

And when you hear the name Alonzo, you think John Hawks. There's this incredible sequence where they are on the rooftop him and Tubbs and they're like screaming on the phone about how like you know this is the situation

this is the hand that we have been dealt like at 9.57 like you know what I mean 9.57pm the whole that all thing the like thunders rumbling behind them all that shit I'm trying to find thunders rumbling behind them. All that shit. I'm trying to find the exact quote, but this is the big moment that Manola Dargis talks about

in her best of 2006. Here I found it. But like, that that shot, I forgot that, no, New World's 2005. I was going to say that

Colin Farrell had these two things back to back, but it was technically 2005 but not really released until 2006. Okay. Miami Vice. Cloris Entertainment,

Miami Vice is a glorious, gorgeous, shimmering object. It made me think more about how new technologies are irrevocably changing our sense of what movies look like than any other film.

More than any other film I've seen this year. Right. Partly shot using a Viper film stream camera, the film shows us a world that seems to stretch on forever. Hell yeah. Without the standard sense of graphical perspective. This is the magic of digital, obviously, is that everything's focused.

And then this is her line, which has just rattled in my brain for years. Because I had seen this movie. I went, it's okay. She's like five billion times the writer I will ever be. It's just how she is. She's so good. She's very cool too. She doesn't get enough credit.

Like she gets, people acknowledge her as one of the best film writers and she still doesn't get enough credit. Doesn't get enough credit. She should have won the Pulitzer by now. She says, Nominated a lot. When Crockett and Tubbs stand on a Miami roof,

it's as if the world were visible in its entirety. As if all our familiar time and space coordinates have dropped away because they have. I've never forgotten that line. I'm so glad you pulled that up. And not re-watching that movie, I always think about that line going like, I don't give

that movie enough credit. Like that is a great way of describing a series of shots that when I saw them in theater, I found disorienting. When I saw this movie in theater... Alright, so we both saw it in theater. We didn't talk about this. I didn't hate it, but I was like, what was that? I didn't hate it either. I was just kind of confounded. I was like, I don't really know what to make of it.

But, like, people hated this movie. It was not well-received. Anytime I load it up on iTunes, I see that fucking rotten sticker. Because you know how they have, like, the RT splat. Rotten to mat. A like the RT spot. Rotten to the green splat. Rotten to the green splat. Rotten to the green splat.

But certainly the look of this movie, Ben, you might have noticed too, the digital graininess is so high. I was talking to JD, a past and future guest, a friend of the show,

King Among Men, about it. And he was like, it's kind of like what they were doing shooting on these digital cameras that are so new. It's kind of like Lucas with Attack of the Clones. That, but And he was like, it's kind of like what they were doing, shooting on these digital cameras that are so new. It's kind of like Lucas with Attack of the Clones. That, but also he was like, it's kind of like Ang Lee with Billy Lynn.

It's like you're trying something that has just arrived. Yeah. And the technology is not really ready yet. Speed Racer. I love the aesthetic, though. I mean, and that's obviously I'm biased. Nothing looks like it. But it has aged well right and it's almost like a thing where it's like like lo-fi yeah this

like it's a unique way that you can't really get anymore here's because it's like it's one of those things where it's like that period of time with like digital photography where it was just like we're saying like just sort of on the the precipice of like getting to where we are now but there was such a narrow window of what was considered cinematic sure in terms of it needing to have a filmic quality right that at this time everyone was like this looks so fucking cheap yeah it looks janky no one could get over it cost 150 million dollars like where did it go yeah uh here's i'm just gonna quote jd uh that was back when digital sensors had a lot of issues so they would

crank the grain right and uh ben you're drooling i thought there was something up some of the loudest drooling i've ever heard and they did it sort of like you would do when you changed iso to a faster stock this is when he's absolutely fucking losing me. But, like, he's basically, like, it's like the Billy Lynn thing, where they're keeping the aperture wide open, but they won't over-light it. So it kind of just looks the old chips were so bad with color, or the color

temperature's mixed, it doesn't look great. That thing where people might look black in one instant, and then they sort of body moves, or the camera moves a little bit, and suddenly, like, the whole color of them changes. Right, but, thing is, I would rather as JD said, crank it, own the graininess and not

have to put artificial lights in there. And allow it to be as dark as it could be and also have that infinite depth of field where in some of those rooftop scenes, as Manuela Darga said, it goes on forever. You can just see everything in focus and you're like that must be a hundred blocks away and Miami is such a dramatic looking city

which is cool yes so anyway they go they get in their car they're driving in that Ferrari that like shoots blue flames out of its ass which this is another thing you can tell he's getting off on there are so many shot setups where it's like him getting off on i'm gonna place the camera somewhere where i could never place the camera yes because the cameras are so small and durable yeah right especially in like the car stuff or the boat stuff where it's like it just looks like they taped the camera to the side of the boat right and he's getting what now we're used to as like sort of gopro. But back then you're like, that's not how you shoot someone in a vehicle. But it looks so cool.

Yes. And they seem so real. I guess the best way to describe it. Just like the shots of them are just driving. Right. Like we're not talking to each other. There's no exposition. Right.

We're just seeing them like go really fast. Yes. Go fast. Go fast cars. It feels sometimes like a home movie. David's slowly getting an erection with his finger and now he's two? Go on bed sorry.

I've heard of one direction but two erections? I forgot now. I'm sorry. I had to make it up. And we have the scene with Alonzo that is just so scary where he's saying Oh I remember sorry. I had to mention that. And we have the scene with Alonzo that is just so scary where he's saying Oh, I remember now.

They took my lady and that's how they I dobbed them in. I had to flip. Jamie Foxx says you don't have to go home. Jamie Foxx is really good in that scene. All the handheld stuff reminds me of home movies like VHS. Yeahs yeah well no that's

what people complain about that's why people are like why does this look like america's finest home video exactly that's what people hated about the the whole digital look people are wrong yeah but that's also like i mean like frame rate shit like we're just used to like a movie has this sort of speed to it and if something is at the speed of video, I'm used to thinking this looks like my barbecue. Right. Like this looks like my family reunion. This looks like that video of my dad getting hit in the nuts.

Sounds good. Yeah. Love all those videos. Yeah. Come on, but Hawke stepping in front of the truck. Okay, that was the moment where my girlfriend went like, wait, what the fuck did I just see? And that cut of the truck. Okay, that was the moment where my girlfriend went like, wait, what the fuck did I just see? And that cut of the truck slowing down and you see just like a second of like blood underneath the wheels.

Yeah. That's when she like lost. And she was like, was that a streak of blood under the truck? Right. And this thing that he gets at because he's like not going at 24 frames per second is how banal these really really intense gruesome violent things would look look or feel in real life versus how stylized michael mann chief of uh of all right uh used to make them look right um because uh yeah like all the stuff where they're like in the car and the car starts getting shot up right and the way the like uh they're like limbs and shit go like flying but also like the stuffing from the chairs

and it just sort of goes like yeah you know like it's it's all it's not slow motion like the fucking leather bursting open no no totally right it's just like things are random and chaotic this is all good i love this yeah you're right. This is the stuff I'm really into. Oh, this is the stuff you're really into? What about the other 125 minutes? I'm saying that element

that did another erection. All right. So the mission is revealed and there's this whole showdown with Fujima, who's a new character played by Kieran Hintz. I love how everyone

in this movie has a name that does not correspond to their ethnicity at all. Why is he called Fajima? No idea. Why is Don Hogg's called Alonzo? No idea. But explain the mission to me.

This is the kind of stuff where I'm just like, I never get my head around exactly what anyone's trying to do in this movie. Okay, so the feds got shot by these whites, an Aryan, you know, enforcer gang, right? Uh-huh. Right, we see that.

They come back at the end. Yeah, they are always in league with the cartel. Okay. They are American drug dealers who are like, you know, as Fox says, the Aryan Brotherhood

is usually just like tweakers and meth labs. Like, why are these guys so serious? Like, these are guys as Fox says, like the Aryan Brotherhood is usually just like tweakers and meth labs. Like, why are these guys so serious? Like these are guys with like big guns. Yeah. And also, let's just say, what a simpler time. I mean, now a white supremacist can be anything or anybody. President.

Yeah. Dream, dream big. Back then, yeah, you had to be a heavy and, you know, work with the Colombian cartel. You're not even number one. Right, and now white supremacists are like, I don't like the way this movie is making us look hateful. You think if Miami Vice came out now, the fascists would be mad about it?

I want a movie about the white supremacists next door. Okay. White supremacists can work at a... I'm trying to explain the movie. Ad agency? So the feds got shot, as we see. Stuffing. You were talking we see. Stuffing. You were talking about it.

Stuffing. Okay. So Fajima here in Hens is saying to these guys like yeah we had this whole operation and clearly

like there's a mole or something because like they knew how to root it out. Right? And Farrell and I mean

Tubbs and Crockett and Tubbs are kind of going like you guys know, you guys are assholes. Your OPSEC is blown. Like, they seem like completely dismissive of him. But, so the new mission is, they, as Miami cops, were not involved in the whole sort of federal chain of command. Sure. Right?

They're city cops. Yeah. So they will infiltrate this cartel. They're going to go deep. Jose Hierro. And they're going to claim to do transportation for him, which is like the one thing he outsources. And

through him, they will find out what the deal is with the white supremacists who murdered these cops, these vets. So there you go. that's what they do and then when they do it they do such a good job that they get hooked up to the king of it all you know Angel

De Jesus but the grenade do they throw it you can't put a pin back in I'm sorry the rest of the boot, you can? Yes. See, the rules of grenades in my world, you pull the pin, you got to throw it.

You're thinking of the old sort of like, it looks like a big grape, bunch of grapes. Yeah. You know, it has like a pin like that. But like, now they have the clip that you hold down and the pins what's holding it down. I had no idea they had updated grenade technology. This feels like a good time to mention that Blank Check Press, our publishing imprint, of course one of the first books will be

The Rules of Grenades in Ben's World. Do you have more questions? Yeah. Does John Ortiz know that they're cops the whole movie? No, he just thinks they are. He's the only one who's like, I smell a rat with these guys. That thing at the beginning where he's like looking them up on the computer.

And he like looks at their profiles. Yeah. Those are their fake profiles. It's the fake profiles that they made for them. Okay. Yeah. So he's very suspicious, but he does not have proof. He doesn't have proof.

Because I, the whole movie, thought that he knew for a fact. No, because then he would just kill them. That's why I was confused the whole movie. No, he's the only one who's like, I don't like the smell of these guys. And everyone else, they successfully sort of fool everyone else into thinking like, he's just jealous because these guys are so good. Right. You know what I mean?

They're cool. Right. These guys are getting like 10, 15 million dollars per movie. John Ortiz, what are you getting? Like $250? How much do you think Ortiz got for this? Fourth build. No, he might be fifth build.

For a movie this expensive, I imagine he got a lot. Especially in overtime. Per diem. In the Dominican Republic. This is a movie where people's per diem was just bricks of coke. Michael Mann said, I don't know, you flip it or something.

That was the thing where he made Colin Farrell, Jamie Foxx didn't agree to do this, but Colin Farrell go on a bunch of drug busts with him. And then it turned out that the busts were staged by Michael Mann. That he tricked Colin Farrell into thinking he was on real drug busts, but instead it was some elaborate The Game scenario. That's insane. Obviously, they'll train you in weapons, but I don't think you're allowed to just go on a

drug bust. I feel like... Those are some real situations. Yeah. Come watch how it's done. Has anyone made that movie? What movie? The movie where it be like, yeah, come watch how it's done. Has anyone made that movie? What movie? The movie where it's like, oh, an actor is training to play a cop in a movie, so he goes on patrol with someone and it gets caught up in a bigger crime.

Oh, that's a fuck... That's like, right, like sort of a man who neutered a little. That's a great conflict. Right? That's a good idea. That would be a Griffin Newman vehicle if I had a career and if comedies were still being made. Yeah, bada bada bop. That would be a Griffin Newman vehicle if I had a career and if comedies were still being made. Miami Vice. Yes.

So, what happens when you need to pretend to be high-level drug transporters who do work for major cartels? Gotta take it to the limit one last time. Exactly. You gotta go see Eddie Marsan. That's right. I think this is the first time I saw Eddie Marsan in a movie. So you hadn't seen like the Mike Lee movies that, you know, he's getting plucked out of? I don't think so.

Because I remember, I mean, I remember when he started showing up a lot. He did have his moment. In Hollywood films after this. Being like, oh, that's that Miami Vice guy who's got the weirdest face I've ever seen. Incredible face. And what a fucking accent choice in this movie. In this movie, insane.

Because this guy shows up. It's the same thing as everyone having weird names. It's like, Michael Mann's like, you're Southern. Right. He is? That's the thing. This guy shows up and you immediately go, well, he's British. Right.

Before he speaks a word. You're like, this is the most British looking man. He's like Uncle Sam but for Britain. You know what I mean? Like you could just put him on a poster and everyone's like oh yes he represents the country of Britain. He looks like the human who hangs out with

like Mr. Toad. Right. Like he could be part of the Wind in the Willows landscape. As like oh it's Badger, Mr. Toad, You're right. Like he could be part of the Wind in the Willows landscape. As like, oh it's Badger, Mr. Toad, and a four inch tall Eddie Marson. And then he shows up and he's like, well I do

swear that I... He's like, oh god. But that whole scene is so good because for one you have this sort of like, everyone is artfully blocked and arranged in his completely empty apartment. For peak intimidation. For peak intimidation.

Of this weasel. Yeah. Who's like, I don't want to deal with this. Come on, baby. That's what I love that he got that. Come on, baby. Halfway through the conversation, Crockett just looks out the window at the ocean for what feels like an hour. An hour.

It's rules, which is i guess him just sort of thinking about go fast boats or death yeah i don't know those sorts of things right colin farrell plays that phenomenally but then meanwhile you also have where he's like what did i do to deserve this and they're like you live a life of crime right that's which i just love a beautiful yeah well you get to live in this fabulous house for because you're a criminal what are you talking about traffic and criminal activity what do you do deserve this um so he hooks them up with jose hierro and they go you know they create the fake profiles you've got the incredible shower scene that is literally scored with like porn fucking porn hub track i mean that's

what it sounds like yeah it sounds like that moment where it's like when the porn kicks off you know there's been two seconds of dialogue and it's like well let's get you out of those overalls right well for you this is porn right and then for me this movie is porn yeah yeah but for me the porn music is like that kind of music. It's in Miami Vice. It's in Miami Vice music. We talked about this in our Blackhead episode coming up.

But I, in my memory, invented a scene for Viola Davis that does not exist. Sure. I remembered, and I think I talked about this in another episode. I remember,

remembered in this movie a completely different ending. Right. Which we will get to. Yeah, but you imagined an ending that spoke to the fact that Jamie Foxx wasn't in the movie, I think. Right? What I remember of the ending was that Naomi Harris died. No.

And the movie ended with him in the shower by himself as that same music track plays. Oh, sure. You saw Colin Farrell saying goodbye to Gong Li on the boat. The porn music? No, no. The music that is in the ending. It would be pretty good, though, if he was like... It's a Mogwai song.

Right. I remember the Mogwai song playing over... Look at the juxtaposition. Now it's Jamie Foxx alone in the shower, and she's dead. Which, in fact, the opposite thing happened. Jesus, Louises. You are interested again with the finger. Got ourselves a little horn dog.

Yeah, why don't we talk about Saucy David over here? Might be nice. Dirty David 2019. Movie gets me going. Dirty Dave. Vroom, vroom. Spitting blue fire out of my ass. Spitting blue fire. D my ass spitting blue fire

dirty day get on a go fast boat drinking mojitos someone's getting ready for his someone on the reddit said mojitos were bad well I called the police

of course did you read that shit you swatted them yes don't swat people our world is so bad it's so weird you know about swatting no let's You know about swatting, right?

No, let's not talk about swatting. No. It's just watching the Colin Farrell movie, Swat. That's what it is. Oh, okay. Okay, here's my new version of swatting. You find someone online whose opinions you disagree with.

You hack their accounts. You find out their personal information address. And then you call and send them an edible arrangement saying, hey, part of the thing I love about humanity is that we all have our different viewpoints. Great. I may not agree with you. So let's, instead of swatting, let's start sending people flowers. Great.

Edible flowers. I don't know. It's a really mellow. Cut it out or keep it in doubling. Your choice. Okay. My advice. My advice.

I can't remember. Oh, the shower scene. Love that shower scene. Yeah. And then the subsequent sex scene where he pretends to come fast and then keeps going. I did not even pick up on that. Oh, come on. It's so funny.

I have seen this movie one million times. Yeah, clearly. So we get the idea. Tubbs, come on. It's so funny. I have seen this movie one million times. Yeah, clearly. So we get the idea. Tubbs, happy life. Happy life. He has sort of like a work-life balance. Obviously, he's dating one of his coworkers, so that helps. But Tubbs is kind of like sorted.

And I believe this is similar to the vibe of the TV show. Where's Ricard? I mean, Crockett is like... A player. Yeah, and unpredictable. Looks like he does coke. Yeah, and like unpredictable. Looks like he does coke. You got that vibe from him?

He does the drug cocaine? I was picking that up. Was it the linen shirts? I think it was when he dusted the cocaine off of his shirt. Was it the one metric ton of hair on his head? Yeah, slicked back. It looks like if you put your hand into his hair, you'd have to call the fire department to get the jaws of life.

Because they'd be like, he hasn't washed this in years. Like, to open it up. It is a thing I like, that Don Johnson in Miami Vice, the TV show, looks like how people... He looks like cocaine. Well, no, what I was going to say is,

Don Johnson looks like what people imagine they look like when they're on cocaine. That's absolutely right. We're like, God, I'm so cool. Colin Farrell looks like what someone looks like when you're like, fuck, how much cocaine is that guy on? Like when you see a guy out. If Colin Farrell wasn't such a sweetheart who had figured his life out. Yeah. I mean, it's like it's almost like Michael Mann five years ago had called him and been like, yeah, I'm thinking of casting you in Miami Vice

like five years from now. So do so much cocaine to get ready for that. I don't need you to do three months. I need five years of use. Five years, date Britney Spears for a little bit. Have sex with anyone who asks. I'm pretty hot. A lot of people might ask.

That's fine. Yeah. I don't know anything about any of his exploits and we don't have to get into it. Have you ever heard of a woman who was famous from the years 2000 to 2006? Colin Farrell's head sex. And like it broke their heart. Yes. Yes. That's the other thing.

Because the other thing is even when he was a wild man, he did have this kind of reputation as like, that guy's a mensch. That guy's fun. He's Irish. He's such a romantic. The soul of a poet. He's got the accent, he's obviously talented. Wish he'd slow down

maybe. The accent too, I mean. But it would just be like a never-ending chain. It's fucking incredible. It'd be like a never-ending chain of Us Weekly being like, all of Rosario Dawson's friends warned her not to fall for Colin Farrell. Now six months after the production of Alexander, she's a mess. Right, because he—

Like, everyone was just like, the reputation preceded him. Thanks very much. Thanks very much. You know, like, that's what he'd be like. Yeah. You know? Thank you. Thank you for—

Thanks very much. Thank you very much for the sex. Thanks very much. What was the thing I was going to say? No, no. Oh, the peak of Colin Farrell is him making his own

sex tape during production of Daredevil where he looks like Bullseye he looks like Bullseye it's

it's wild stuff he's bald AF yeah wild stuff and it got it got put out sure it was it was released wide

yeah right 2600 screen he was so popular had a pretty good per screen average off there. And it got put out? Sure. It was released wide. Yeah, right. 2,600 screens. He was so popular that Focus bought it. He's got a pretty good per screen average, if you know what I'm talking about. That was the other big thing was he... David did the finger again. That was another big Colin Farrell thing when there was like

everyone was like, too much of this guy, get him out of here. Yeah, totally. And they were like, okay, okay, okay, but there is a sex tape right but uh Home at the End of the World a movie I think he's very very good in

he's good in that movie not an amazing movie but like an interesting an interesting movie that he's excellent that went nowhere right he had a full frontal

nude scene in the movie Ben they took it out and they took it out because quote unquote it was too distracting yeah people couldn't get over

his dick that was what they said in the movie was that it was too distracting. People couldn't get over. His dick. That was what they said in the movie, was that it was like an innocuous nude scene, but that people were not able to focus on the next 30 minutes of the film. I always thought that was like, Legend building. That was some bullshit, right?

Even from him, just people trying to like, the producers trying to gin up some interest in a home at the end of the world, which I think made four cents. Yes. You know, but you know. Yeah. Colin. Yes. You know. But, you know. Yeah. Colin Farrell.

Sure, probably. I think he's like, oh, it's fine. Thanks very much. Dear Lord, thank you for the pain you've bestowed me with. Thanks very much. What? Ben found the sex tape. Yeah, he looks like Bullseye from

Daredevil. Oh my god, yeah, this is you know, yeah. This is embarrassing. Do you have a sex tape out there, Ben? No. Oh good, Jesus. He just gave me a look where I was like, oh my god. This is going to have to be a Patreon. Let's watch

Ben's sex tape. I just think it's funny that his sex tape is from the least aesthetically pleasing look he ever had for a movie. 100%. Including horrible bosses. Including horrible bosses.

I was about to say not horrible bosses. Including horrible bosses including the lobster he's never looked worse. I want a movie where Colin Farrell and

and God what's Russell Crowe yeah where they just are drunk and they they just cause havoc.

No, Colin's very sober now. That's true, he is sober now. It would be a movie. He can play it drunk. He can play it drunk. But just the two of them in LA just being drunk and going out on the town. I'll tell you what I want. That would be fun.

I want Russell Crowe to start Twitch streaming drunk. I want Russell Crowe to do four hours drunk. I want Russell Crowe to do four hours of Fortnite. Of map talk? Yeah, with a bottle of Jameson. Let's do it. Kega Fosters. Doing speed runs of Donkey Kong.

Sounds good. You should play Donkey Kong. I had to put on some weight but it was worth it to play Donkey Kong. Mean. Russell Crowe would be to play Donkey Kong. Mean. No! Russell Crowe would be a great Donkey Kong. What are you talking about? I can't get over this idea of Russell Crowe as Donkey Kong.

Zach Efron's in talks for Diddy Kong. Florence Pugh is number one choice for Trixie Kong, but we'll see. We'll see if it happens. She's in demand right now. So you're talking about like a Donkey Kong Country movie. 100%. Live action. Not mo-cap.

No, no, no, no. No mo-cap allowed. Now, do you think it's prosthetics? It's all character. No, it's just character. Just presence. Pure fucking presence. It's like when fucking Bradley Cooper played the elephant man.

Just convey it. I was going to pull the exact same reference. Do you think it is so wild? I love Bradley Cooper, but then he did an onstage elephant man where he was just like, you know, like screwing his shirtless. He was like shirtless.

The whole play, right? Do you think is Russell Crowe shirtless. He was like shirtless the whole time, right? Do you think, is Russell Crowe shirtless? Is it just like him in his natural No clothes. No clothes but the tie? Right.

It's just Russell Crowe with a beard and a red tie. That's what it is. That's what it is. No makeup required Put it on the slate Russell Crowe is Donkey Kong

Donkey Kong Country Boy oh boy Who plays Grumpy Kong? Kirk Douglas Michael Douglas Come on, Kirk's not up to it anymore Michelle Pfeiffer's Wrinkly Kong

I don't know they just keep naming Kongs Griffin Newman's in talks for Baby Kong no I feel well no who's the clown one is that Lanky Kong I don't really have the arms for him Baby Kong I could maybe do you need to put on some pounds he's a big boy

I guess Baby Kong would be like you need sort of like a big dummy. Like the guy from I, Tonya. Oh, Richard Jewell. Paul Walter Hauser. Hauser? Yeah. Anyway, the film's called Mamie Weiss. So they go undercover

after having a nice shower to meet Jose Hierro. Take it to the limit. They're going to take it to the limit one more time. And they go to, I believe it's supposed to be fuck where is this initial meeting happening? It's somewhere in the Caribbean. It's not

Colombia, I don't think. It might be Colombia. That'd be crazy though. You can't go fast boat from Colombia to Cuba. I love that they're called go fast boats. It's literally, I mean, classically, cigarette boat was the old sort of terminology for it, like a smuggler boat. But yeah, go fast boats. The name is that literal and sounds like what a child would say to describe.

Yeah, go fast boat. And they have that whole meeting in the, like, sort of, I mean, where they're walking up and there's this little, why does it feel like, you know, everyone knows who we are 15 blocks out because everyone knows who we are 15 blocks out. Yeah. Where Jose Uribe is like, maybe we don't do the deal because I don't like you guys. You know, there's the whole showdown. Jamie Foxx talking about how boats, you know, when they don't move, resemble apartment buildings.

I like you. I don't like the way your partner looks. And he says, are you here to fuck us? Are you here to fuck my partner or do business good line I don't care what you think about my sentient wad of cocaine that I have sitting next to me as a friend

actually Yero's kind of right where he's like what's the deal with Crockett this isn't just a scarecrow made of cocaine bags Stuffed in a linen shirt He has cocaine remnants on his eyelashes You know when I Drug smuggling

Like it's in a bag not in a person You understand that right Do you just melt this person and he becomes cocaine I'm looking for a boat not a mule Colin Farrell should have played the mule. I'd have to tap it from his bloodstream in order to get my supply out. Colin Farrell should have played the mule.

Crockett. And that's where Crockett... Oh, God, right. Is it in there that he says... Yeah, it is. Where Yator's like, who the fuck knows you? Apart from Nicholas.

Like, you know, who the fuck knows you? And Cckett's like my mommy and daddy know me yeah she's like not the crazy thing to say yeah it's a crazy it's all they're saying to each other is crazy things yeah like at no point do they you know like just settle down and be like all right sorry being really aggressive beauty of drug deals exactly everyone's all cock of the walk not saying what's really happening. It's all cock of the walk shit, but it's also like

we all sort of know offstage what this deal is really about. But they're not like, okay, so the cocaine, although I guess they do get into the numbers

more than I've seen any other movie do it where they're like really breaking down value. Right, yeah. What the transportation is going to involve.

I forgot to mention, before they meet with him, they have also robbed his shipment in masks pretending to be haitian so that speaking creole here's a great example of a thing i did not get when they got when they said we intercepted we found you're missing i could not forget how they got it they robbed it they rob it you see them rob it this, you say it like it's very apparent. Okay, maybe not very apparent. But you see them rob it, which is, I think, the idea is that creates the idea to Jose Guerra of, like, maybe we need new transportation.

I get this now. Right. Watching it, it was not intuitive. They kind of convince him to let them give it a shot. Okay. They do the drug deal, the transportation where they're on the planes and they sort of sync up the two planes underneath each other to have one plane. Pretty cool.

Anti-Bane. Skycrime. Skycrime. Skycrime. Bane takes one plane, makes it two. Who the fuck are you? I don't know. I forgot my Bane voice.

For you. I'm just thinking of like a a my mommy and daddy know me. I'm a fiend for mojitos. Hola chica. Take it to the limit one more time. Come on, the planes. Cool. That's obviously real.

Right. Those are just a couple planes that they did that way. That Jamie Foxx refused to board. Right. I think he's in, at in there's interior shots of him it might not be they must have faith

right or that was the one and only time he did it right but you have Gong Li in that scene when yeah she's

chilling in the background and she's sort of like boy she's not really telling people who she is yet she looks incredible she's controlling the dial of the room

she's wearing a suit sitting in the shadows she's got. She looks incredible. She's controlling the dial of the room. She's wearing a suit. Sitting in the shadows. She's got big sunglasses. She's got big old sunglasses. She's the greatest. Sue Glass. Sue Glass?

She's got Sue Glass on. Yes. She is incredible. Did she win my Oscar that year or just nominate? That's a good question. Did she make the five? Tell me. Are you kidding me?

Of course you make the five. 06. Huh? 06. 06. Give me your supporting actress category. Gong Li, winner, Miami Vice. Okay, it's a weird year.

06 is a weird year in general, if you look at it. Yeah, I think Amy Adams would have been my winner. Because I don't even know what's the winner of the Oscar. Or was that 2005? Amy Adams is 0 been my winner. Because I don't even know, what's the winner of the Oscar? Or was that 2005? Amy Adams is 05. Okay, so 06, who would my winner have been?

I don't know, who won the Oscar? Like, who wins Best Picture in 06? 06 is Departed. Is it Departed? Yeah, right. Right. Which is not overflowing with female performances. Right, so Mirren wins Actress.

Whitaker wins Actor. Yes. Supporting Actor in 06 is Alan Arkin. Supporting actress is not Rachel Weisz. That's the year before. Is that right? It might be that year.

No, it's not. No, because she wins. She beats Amy Adams. How do you remember this? I don't even remember this year. Because I'm a broken person. This year, I don't think I remember. The things I don't remember

are the things that make it a struggle for me to stay alive on a day-to-day basis. Jennifer Hudson is this one. Oh, of course. My five are Gong Li, Ava Green for Casino Royale, Emily Blunt for Devil Wears Prada, Melanie Diaz for A Guide to Recognizing Your

Saints, and Deborah Francois for L'Enfant, the Emily Blunt for Devil Wears Prada. Melanie Diaz for A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints. Wow. And Deborah Francois for L'Enfant, the Dardenne movie. That's the five. I feel like Blunt would be my winner. Who were the other actual nominees of that year? It's rough. You got two Babel ladies. Rinko Kikuchi and Adriana Barraza.

Who are both very good in a movie I don't like very much. Yeah. Hudson and Dreamgirls. Uh-huh. Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal, who's sort of like a quasi-lead. She's good in a movie I don't like very much. Yeah. Hudson and Dreamgirls. Uh-huh. Cate Blanchett in Notes on a Scandal who's sort of like a quasi-lead. She's good in that movie. Would have been my winner from that five. And Abigail Breslin.

Yeah. I think Blanchett, I think Notes on a Scandal. She's probably my winner of that five too. Is an incredible performance. But yeah, I think Blunt probably would have been my winner overall.

Blunt's incredible. I'm trying to think what my top films ofunt probably would have been my winner overall. Blunt's incredible. I'm trying to think what my top films of 06 would have been. I remember 06 being a year where I did not have a lot of favorite movies. What about Miami Vice? Oh, tough to make the time. You got The Prestige that year? I think that might have been my number one. The Departed?

Mm-hmm. Casino Royale? Oh, Children of Men. Children of Men was my number one. Prestige was my Mm-hmm. Casino Royale. Oh, Children of Men. Children of Men was my number one. Prestige was my number two. Sure. Got some good movies here, Ben. Inside Man.

Inland Empire. Uh-huh. Talladega Nights. Masterpiece. Yeah. Bug. The Lives of Others. Uh-huh.

Dave Chappelle's Block Party. Good movie. I took psychedelics and watched a Scanner Darkly with some friends. Scanner Darkly. Yeah. Great movie. My super ex-girlfriend. Pretty trippy. Superman Returns. Cars. I took psychedelics and watched a scanner darkly with some friends scanner darkly great movie uh pretty trippy superman returns cars yeah um the descent devil wears prada brick here's a hostile here's tokyo drift here's a through line in the movies you're citing though not a lot of

good supporting female performance that's right it's a weird year which you're giving us thumbs down to mar Antoinette? I don't like it. Never seen it. Never seen it? It's the only Coppola I've never seen. That might be my favorite Coppola. Really?

I think so. It's been a while since I saw it, though. Back to Miami Vice. Gong Li plays a character called Isabella. She is awesome. She's Cuban, but Chinese. There's a scene where she shows Colin Farrell a picture of her mother. She's bewitching.

She's kind of like the number two. She's above Yero because she is allied with the cartel leader who is Arcangel de Jesus Montoya who's the guy who just like Luis Tosar who just like sits in a car but she kind of implies that she's the man they say when are we going to meet the man and she's like right now

she's in charge because he only meets them once in that scene where they come into his car they sit down and he's just like when you tell me to do a thing you'll do exactly that thing it's very nice to meet you I extend my wishes to your family we will never meet again which rules

what's the line where he says I don't pay for services I pay for results I mean seems like a cool guy if I met him I'd be like go fast folks go real fast I would just like'd be like, go fast, folks. Go real fast. I would just desperately be like, I have to say something

as this crazy, psycho billionaire is talking to me. Guys, we all know that the drug kingpin in Miami Vice is crazy, right? And sometimes these funny thoughts come into my head. I was wondering, what would it sound like if David Sims met the drug king campaign from Miami Vice?

And I think it would go a little something like this. Go fast boats, am I right? Sure go fast. That's why they call them that. It's a nice car. We can look at each other in it. Nice. I do love that.

They get out yeah gong lee steps into his very well lit leather interior yeah in the seats facing the other seats right then they have to be like patted down checked a bunch of times to eventually end up in the same second vehicle as her right yeah rules yeah cool um so after that first drug deal is when the transport is when collins like makes the move on gong lee can i buy you a drink essentially yeah and she's like i know a good place for mojitos yeah i called it cuba it's called havana yeah and uh they get in the go fast they don't like me they don't like my passport I don't like my passport that's passion though

it's romance it's such a cool first date and like the music just goes all the way up they're just in this boat they're talking to each other every time I just turn to Joanne and I go like no way they're going to hear this fucking thing it would be like

yeah we're Cuba okay like It would be like, yeah, we're Cuba, okay. You know, like that would be the conversation. We, can we say this without citing any people? Okay. We heard a thing recently. Okay. That Michael Mann's hearing is touch and go. Sure.

And that depending on which day he's in at the mix. Sure. He might adjust the volume dramatically upwards or downwards based on how his hearing is doing that day, which leads to what I have experienced watching Michael Mann movies recently, a need to keep the remote in your hand at all times to adjust on a scene-by-scene basis. Because it's men mumbling and then all of a sudden it's the loudest gunshots.

Encore, dude! Right, yeah. Okay. That's all I was saying. Yeah. No, that's great. Because you were saying the music's all the way up.

I fucking love it though. They drive to Cuba. It's just hypnotic. Yeah. Just slow. Yeah. They go to Cuba. There's the great scene

where they're drinking mojitos, uh, which he's a fiend for, uh, and, uh, you know, the band is playing and you're just immediately like,

why the fuck have I not yet gone to Cuba? Like, well, you know, like that's a Michael Mann movie too. We're like, I gotta go here. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. LA. It's beautifully shot. It's like, and it beautiful. It's beautifully shot. It's like, and it changes. It's like, you know, you're so sort of like set in with like the neon lighting of like what he's shooting in Miami. And it's just so bright and light.

But also so much, that's the other thing. I mean, like, because Man Vice TV show, it's like, oh, look at all these colors, all the cool lighting, whatever. So much of the miami stuff in the movie is like a sickly yellow yeah like he's really owning digital being able to capture how gross fluorescent lighting is that scene where they're in the warehouse with the fluorescent lighting and they kick open the doors and then you see just the pier um and it makes you realize how creepy and bad most

lighting makes people look and the John Hawks scene on the side of the road it's like the street lamps are just yellow they all just look like urine that scene's so frightening but yeah Cuba is like warmer and I mean all the Colin Gong Lee scenes are the scenes.

That's my favorite shit in the movie. All their romance stuff, just the whole weird, like hermetic, like they're living this, like you for, for some reason just believe that they would do this. You know what I mean?

Cause it's like a classic, obviously like you're in too deep undercover cop movie plot is like, and then he falls for a criminal and like, then what are they going to do? Right. But like in this, you're like, not only he falls for a criminal and like, then what are they gonna do? But like in this, you're like, not only do I believe that they have sex,

I can't believe they haven't been having sex their entire lives. TZ14 said like, wow, this part of the movie is going on for a while. Like she was surprised

at what would usually be five minutes. Exactly. Where they're just like, you get it, right? They're in love now. Okay, great. Interrupted by other scenes

was just like, yes. That's kind of the other scenes was just like, yes. That's kind of the movie. I was like, this is the emotional spot. Like, get ready because this is the rest of the movie is playing off of this. Pretty much. Yeah. I don't know.

Whatever. What else even happens? This is the main thing to track in this movie. Yeah. Right. Because at this point, Tubbs drops off the radar. Right. And Jamie Foxx.

Jamie Foxx is like, it was $15 million. Great. I'm not coming back. Right. No, I don't know. I mean, like, what is Tubbs? Tubbs just becomes like a guy who's professional.B. Fox is like, it was $15 million? Great, I'm not coming back. I don't know. Tubbs just becomes a guy who's professional. He'll check in with

Crockett. I keep calling him Ricardo. Tubbs is his first name. He'll check in with Crockett and be like, you okay? There's the... He senses, you're making moves on her? And he goes, no, we're making moves on each other. He has the... which is amazing. But there's the, as in there is undercover and then there is which way is up.

Yeah. And Crocodile's like, you think I'm in so deep I forgot? And everyone in the audience is like, yes! Yeah. That's your vibe! But that's also, I think that's the other thing Michael Mann's interested in trying to come back to my advice. It's just like, this stuff isn't glamorous. Sure. These people become like ciphers. Like they don't know who they are anymore because they spend so much time working on making their own identity so malleable even more so than actors because you

don't have the breaks of calling cut like you're living in these awful worlds and training yourself to not react proportionately to them yeah and not into right and to not react to horrible things right horrible ideas right like there's an insufferable people right there's this area in which like being an actor involves a kind of like deliberate um sort of uh uh sociopathy. And being an undercover cop I imagine is just that times a billion because you have to like watch people get murdered in front of you and go like, yeah, cool, I love

that. Yeah, I'm into it. Yeah. I'm a great criminal. Big fan. Great murder. You know? So these guys are just like that's why it works so much that Colin Farrell is at the end of his rope as a human being while making this movie is because it's just like this guy is just like he has

no idea who the fuck he is anymore and both of them are professionals and both of them know they shouldn't be getting together but it's also like they've trained themselves to not care so much it's also just like I mean this is another rant about Hollywood now but like if you make this movie now it has to be funny right there has to be this sort of knowing stuff yeah it would have

to be all this kind of like goofy material right this movie doesn't get made now in any way it doesn't any but like let's say it does because like 21 jump street got made right like you know like that kind of thing where they're like well of course miami vice people know miami vice but right oh you're right no it would be loose and goofy yeah and you can do an action movie and you can do cop stuff but it better not be like you know too alienated because even this coming two years after like uh starsky and hutch was like a pretty stark comparison uh exactly yes and then when's that? That's like, oh, four, oh,

four. Right. Yeah. And that's the other vibe. Right. And this is Michael Mann being like, no, it would be really hard to be an undercover cop.

Let's, let's do that. Right. This is about lost people in a horrible world, a brutal, uncaring world. And that's his pitch to the studio in 2019. And the studio is like,

yeah, okay. We were thinking more like Hemsworth, but he's funny. I guess Hemsworth is in a man movie, though. Hemsworth would play him tomorrow. He would play him tomorrow. Right? Yeah. 100%. It would be Hemsworth

and I'm trying to think who would play Tubbs today. Who's like, sort of, who is Jamie Foxx in 2019? Yeah. Is the question. I don't know. Who's the Jamie Foxx? I mean, because like they've been trying with like Jesse T. Usher,

like putting him in things like Shaft and Independence Day. Yeah. Where they're like, I mean, is it Michael B. Jordan? I don't think that's the right vibe. It's not quite the right vibe. I'm like, is it Trevante Rhodes? Is it Chadwick Boseman? Oh, Trevante Rhodes would be good.

Well, he's good in everything. I think creatively he would be my choice. I think the studio would probably want to be Chadwick and Hemsworth, right? Right. And then the director is, I don't know, someone who can do funny. Yeah. See, I don't think Michael B. is the right choice because Michael B.'s whole great thing is his anger. And these guys have to be so fundamentally.

They're so cool. Right. Smooth. You don't want to neuter Michael B. Jordan. And even Colin Farrell, like, yeah, like 99% of people. I mean, honestly, Don Johnson plays this more as a guy who's got a lot of rage. That's not Colin's take. At all.

Intentionally or not, he's playing it as a guy who's just lost at sea. This guy's just like, he's like scooped everything out from inside of himself. You know, he's like the husk of like a cantaloupe that you put cottage cheese in. And the cottage cheese is crime.

And then along comes a great piece of prosciutto played by Gong Li. And it matches so perfectly with the melon, you know? It's comes a great piece of prosciutto played by Gong Li and it matches so perfectly with the melon you know yes it's such a great but yeah yeah god Jesus Christ we need a t-shirt that's like a melon a cantaloupe with cottage cheese in it but then like Colin Farrell's face is on the cantaloupe and there there's Colin Farrell, Miami Vice hair coming out of the cantaloupe. It's like a bird's eye view.

And the cantaloupe roughly makes out Mufasa's face in the clouds. Colin Farrell with a mustache. He's got a stache. Ben, Miami Vice. Benjamin! Do you like it? Yeah, I liked it a lot.

Had you seen it before? Mm-hmm. It'd been years. It was great. I'm pulling up my notes. Okay. Oh, you got some notes. Yeah.

So one thing I want to say, I don't like deals. There's a lot of deals happening on phones. Well, and also, Ben, come on. This is like the end of flip phones is this movie yeah there are so many scenes involved like there's one where they're like taking video on like a fucking nokia you know like yeah yeah great that'll be admissible in court what is that 2p where she's like showing a sex tape on like a flip phone yeah it's like web zones or something and i'm like can you imagine how much that data bill is gonna be in a pre-wifi enabled smartphone era if you're watching a live streamed sex show on your fucking

flip phone right first of all it's gonna buffer like crazy what if this movie ended with uh everyone sitting down with fojima and being like okay so uh here's the bill uh yeah you owe you we need about 40 to 50 million dollars that we bought all this cocaine we bought a bunch of go fast boats like gas those things go through let me tell you the most expensive fucking uh it seems like we ruined an entire shipping port in miami with a gun so we're gonna have to figure that out. Uh, right. We blew up a trailer.

They're like the Michael man of vice squads. Exactly. I'm just like, they are city policemen, you know, and you just see them like flying planes. Like it's no big deal. When did they fucking learn to fly a plane?

They make like $63,000 a year. Like they're in a union. They're like in the detectives union. Right. They, they make it they make 62 000 a year with a per diem of one million dollars per day like they're petty cash for their operations i mean there is a scene early on where like he says you're gonna be in ocd uh etf like the which is like the federal like agency that is the federal agency that is the federal

agency that's like, here's where we'll give you some cocaine. But still, I mean, they are just city cops. Take it to the limit. That's true. Smooth is how they do it. That's how we do it. Like Santana and Ralph Marshall. That's true, yes. It is like Santana.

I say no to deals. I'm tired of this culture. It's Trumpian almost. Deals it is like San Antonio. I say no to deals. Okay. I'm tired of this culture. You know, it's Trumpian almost. Deals. Oh, I got to, here's the deal. So if, okay. Like, let's just, you know. So you're a no deal.

Set terms. Like if the banker calls. Let's talk it out. We don't need deals. Well, wait a second. What you're describing is a deal. Let's talk it out and set terms. Damn it.

Very much a deal. I just don't like how everyone's like, oh, I'm a deal maker. Like that whole mentality is so annoying to me. I understand what you're saying because it's that thing where Trump's like, I'm totally a deal. I just don't like how everyone's like, oh, I'm a dealmaker. Like, that whole mentality is so annoying to me. I understand what you're saying because it's that thing where Trump's like, I'm totally a dealmaker. I got this great deal. Here it is. And it's like, Kim Jong-un has to do nothing. Like, you know, like, it's all

inflated. I just can't get over it. Donald Trump is the president? Are we, David, are we a hundred percent? You have the computer in front of you. Can you check this? Are we... David, are we 100%... You have the computer in front of you. Can you check this? Are we 100% sure it's not a different guy with the same name?

Okay, let's see. So I Googled... It just feels like it's got to be a different guy with the same name. Google President of the United States of America, incumbent Donald Trump since January 20th, 2017. But go to his Wikipedia and check the hyperlink. It can't be the apprentice. Born 1946 in Jamaica, Queens. It is sort of the same age and location.

It does look like a way. I'll just control F for apprentice. Yes, the apprentice. 16 references. That is nuts. He's also in charge of the Trump Organization, which is a real estate business. Yeah. So, I mean, yeah, i think it's the same guy

i say no deal yeah howie mandel could he be president much better president okay we're gonna cut all that out i mean here's the promise with howie mandel i'm not gonna make it okay was it like a clean joke? I feel like that's the joke everyone makes. Yeah. Yeah. And I was gonna try to work fist bumping in with grabbing things. I like it better when you just talk about it,

around it. Here was the idea around the joke. How Mandel has OCD, he doesn't like shaking people's hands, that would guarantee that we'd have a president who doesn't grow people. Right. I couldn't figure out how to construct it,

but now all of you have the pieces, and I get to walk away clean. So cut this up and put the joke together yourselves at home. No, no. You have to record yourself making the joke. Okay. Yeah. And then send that to Griffin.

But also if Shampoodler wants to cut this up and make it into a drop, that'll be greatly appreciated. Oh, yeah, what happened to that? Shampoodler did make a drop. He made a drop for us. He made a drop. I got the drop.

We'll use the drop when the drop calls for it. Is it a news drop? Was that what it was? I think it's like mailbag. Mailbag. It's a mailbag drop. Yeah. Do you want to play it now?

No, no, no, no. We'll do it, as you said, when the moment calls for it. Okay, cool. Like right now. Mail, mail, mail, mail, mail, no, no. We'll do it, as you said, when the moment calls for it. Like, right now. So, what a good job. I love that job. Thank you, Shampooedler, for the job. Basically, what happens in this movie is that Jose... Let's just talk.

Jose Hierro... No, that's a picture of Russell Crowe. Oh, that's right. I'm sorry. Jose Hierro, played by John Ortiz, starts watching... Put it away. Put it away. We gotta finish this. Is this a picture of Cr Put it away. Put it away. We got to finish this.

Is this a picture of Cranky Kong? Put it away. All right. We already did a 10 minute riff on that. Swear to God. Jose Yarrow starts watching Miami Vice, essentially. The TV show. No, the movie.

Because he starts watching Colin and Gong. Yeah. And he's like, these two are fucking burning up the screen. And he has tears in his eyes. They're so into each other. Exactly. There's tears in his eyes.

Because there's that scene where Gong Li tells her boss, where she's like, I slept with him, and I think he's a professional. Yeah. And he's like, that's my girl. So it's like, he's not jealous that she had sex with the guy,

but he is jealous when he realizes that their dancing is so fucking on fuego and their mojito ordering is so fucking sexy. And she's like showing him nice pictures of her family. What's the line they have when they're at like the bar the following morning and they're talking about their future and their past. About like making sure this thing doesn't go too far. You know what I'm talking about? I do. I mean there's this sort of like. They word it in some cool Michael Mann way. They're like is this gonna affect our future together, our business?

I mean there's, here's one exchange that I like. Yeah. Where she's like once I had a fortune it reads leave now, time is short. Life is short, time is luck. And they're talking about what happens when it all goes down. Okay. And Crockett has the probability, it's like gravity.

You cannot negotiate with gravity. Yeah. One day you should just cash out. And she's like, yeah. And he's like, yeah, as far and fast as you can. She's like, would you find me? And he's like, yes, I would. And I'm like... David's at the erection finger again.

He's holding it up. But eventually Gero convinces Jesus that Isabella's turned on him. These guys are no good. They have the Aryan Brotherhood kidnap Naomi Harris

they have Yarrow kidnap Isabella but the one thing there's also we forgot to mention a zillion years ago there's a scene where they

kind of buy their loyalty by saying like look we recovered your stolen drugs which is also I feel like playing it a little close but the idea is like

to get in quickly a little close to the vest idea is to get in quickly. A little close to the vest? Yeah. Yeah. And so you have this final showdown that's essentially like, but we still have their drugs. So we can maybe swap it for Isabella. Right?

Yeah. And, I mean, Naomi Harris. But they just go get Naomi Harris. But then... Well, right. Then the trailer blows up. Higuero blows up the trailer and almost kills her. Yeah. But there's the cool scene where Elizabeth Rodriguez is like,

I'm going to shoot you in your medulla. Oh, that's great. It's fucking great. She shoots a couple Nazis. You shoot me, I blow her up. He's got the detonator. And she's like, I shoot you, you die in half a second. You don't have time to move your finger.

And he's like, well... Your finger won't even twitch. Only you get dead. Right. He literally just... Tell me, sport shoot you, you die in half a second, you don't have time to move your finger. And he's like, well... Your finger won't even twitch. Only you get dead. Right. Tell me, sport, you believe that? He goes like, hey, fuck you, and then she just shoots him in the neck. He gets one syllable out. Truly. He goes like, ah... Yeah.

It's immediate. Because that whole sequence is great, but that is the sort of secondary sequence the primary sequence is the shootout I like that they don't kill Jesus this isn't like a story where they

fucking nail the cartel they get Yarrow they shoot him it's awesome and fucking Colin has his badge out so Gong Li sees Gong Li sees him and she's like, what are you? I like that, that it's just the reflection

of the glimmer. The glimmer of the light, the shine from the badge. But you know, Ricardo Tubbs shoots Yarrow with a fucking grenade launcher so he blows

a giant hole in his body. Crockett gets the Aryan Brotherhood guy under the car. I think the shootout's cool I do too the director's cut puts music over it

which sucks what song is it? In the Air Tonight played by Nonpoint oh which then they play in the end credits right? in this yes

right okay the credits plays a Moby song in the director's cut instead interesting I kind of it's bad with the In the Air Tonight Moby song in the director's cut instead. I kind of, it's bad with the In the Air Tonight.

In my head, I'm putting it together and it seems cool. Okay. Well, some people like it. Okay. I'm not a fan. I like, I think the movie's great. I just don't think it needs to be messed with. On Blu-ray, they only ever release the director's cut, right?

I think that's, I think there's a region free... On digital, I think you can get both. But I know that was the thing where you warned me, like, don't buy the Blu-ray because it's the bad version. I'm pretty sure that's right. You can... Yeah, I guess so. I feel like the DVD, they had both cuts, and for Blu-ray it's only...

Yeah, it looks like it's only the director's version. Right. Unrated director's edition. Right. Unrated and out of control. Remember when things were unrated? Yeah. And remember when, like, the DVD covers for unrated movies were Photoshopped to have,

like, the characters reacting to how unrated it was? Yeah. Yes, I do. Like, the cast of Anchorman or whatever, the goods. Yeah. The cast of the goods.

We talked about the Nutty Professor 2, The Klumps. Written by Chris Wayne? Yes, where the DVD cover is like Granny Klump putting caution tape

around the rest of the family and the caution tape says unrated. Anyway. The cover of Miami Vice is like that too. Barry Shabaka Henley is putting caution tape around everybody. And Colin Farrell is wide-eyed holding a shush finger up to his mouth.

Barry Shabaka Henley gets some good shit in the last half hour. It's fun to watch Barry Shabaka Henley in an action scene. Just like him in a... He's got a bulletproof vest and a semi-automatic rifle. Yes, he does. some good shit in the last half hour. It's fun to watch Barry Shabaka Henley in an action scene. He's got a bulletproof vest and a semi-automatic rifle. He's in the helicopter in that one part where they're trying to triangulate everything. And then you see

him trying to find the shooters with the infrared camera. That's what these guys actually look like. In real life. And they go out and they're in the shit. I'm sorry. It was Sherman has wrapped up the rest of his family in uncensored content.

Oh, boy. But he looks shocked. Like he's just done something really naughty. He's like. Don Johnson was the person who suggested Colin Farrell for the movie based off of had they worked together or he just was a fan of his work we should also mention there was a famous hurricane

that hit Miami during filming which delayed filming quite a lot that helped make it more expensive that man talked to Edward James Olmos to make, you know, to reprise his role,

but he said no, which is too bad because, yeah, like at this point, we're talking like Battlestar Galactica, like Edward James Olmos is cool again. Yes. And like totally could just like put him right in here.

Yeah. No one is better at just like grumbling in a gravelly voice than him. During one squall associated with Tropical Storm Dennis, Farrell and Fox drove along the street in a Ferrari with a convertible top down. As they made their way along the block, the windows were blown out

of a tall building and glass rained down, damaging the car and just missing the stars. The wind was blowing so hard we could hardly get our gear back from the truck, a crew member says. Followed by, you bet it was dangerous, says man. But that's like, that whole sequence when they're on the roof with the Fujima

and like the lightning is going off around them right and it's like that thing the Manola quote like where you can see the storm yeah

like miles away right it's cool yeah it's great it's dangerous here's another thing you want to know Griff

yeah Naomi Harris was shooting this back to back with Pirates of the Caribbean of course she was because there were two movies right so she had shooting this back-to-back with Pirates of the Caribbean. Of course she was, because there were two movies. Right, so she had to do this on weekdays and Pirates on weekends.

Crazy. Jesus Christ. Tia Dalma, we stand a legend. We do stand a legend. Even though I feel like people hated that at the time. I remember anyone who I thought had an interesting brain was like, who is that actor and what is that performance she's giving?

I agree with that. Because I was very bored with those movies. That movie has so many monologues. Yeah. Go on, sorry. No, I just remember being like, she's doing something really weird here. Because the sequels you come in and Depp's starting to get stale. And it feels like she's the one doing kind of the radical thing.

Yeah, she's doing some weird. Right. Yeah. The initial test screening length of the movie was 150 minutes, and it got cut down. Sure. I could see that. And he just uses the lost cause.

Like, he doesn't try to. Well, he did his director's cut. Yeah. And I guess that was that. But that comes out, like, immediately afterwards. Pretty quickly. Yeah. I just remember the hype about that.

But yeah, I mean, he moves on. I don't know. I mean, he gets to make Public Enemy. So even though this movie was a bomb, it didn't like, you know, it wasn't so big a bouncer that he didn't get to make another extremely expensive movie.

Obviously. Movie star still mattered. He pulls the thing of getting a big movie star. Right. If you could get three movie stars in your movie of that scale you you got a green light you got a green light baby and uh you know as long as you do it smooth i don't know do you have any more things you want to say about the shootout i was gonna say well yeah i mean i remember i have this false memory of the movie ending with amy harris dying and jamie foxx in the shower by himself but in

fact the ending is a glimmer of hope that she wakes up again. As the music is building, after everything is sorted out, Crockett takes Gong Li to the stash house and then like she motorboats away but she's gonna, yeah. Because he loves her.

He loves her. As do I. They love each other. It's another classic Michael Mann, like, what do you do now? It's the exact Michael Mann. Right. Exactly. Where he's going to see Trudy at the hospital. Yeah. We know that she's, like, we see there's that shot of her hand.

Yeah. Like, she's probably going to be okay. She starts flittering and then they come in and she opens her eyes. Tubbs is there. But the last shot is him just walking into the hospital. Feral walking. Yes. And it just cuts to black and then Miami Vice in blue.

Right. And the actual typeface on the credits is so small. Yes, it's tiny. And the blue is so dark that it's almost indistinguishable from the black. Yeah, rules. It's crazy. That's when I was just in my seat in the theater being like, what the fuck? Oh, same here.

But then I went on to watch the movie one billion times Whereas you were just like yeah that was a weird thing that happened to me I like think about it I would think about it sometimes But I wasn't compelled to rewatch it David's doing the finger again God You need a vacation I do badly

Going to the ocean, baby. Box office. All right, here we go. July 28th, 2006. I'm in college, but I saw this in London with Joey Sims. Like a spring break? Yeah, on a spring break in July. And I wish they'd done it in July.

That's what they said at my previous spring break. So they took him up on it. Ben just leaned over and he's got sunglasses on. I just, you know, it was the summer. Where did you see it, huh? I saw it, I believe, at Union Square with my great old friend Michaela Gross, who just had a birthday.

Oh, cool. Yeah, I think we saw it at Union Square. We were like, we both want to see that. Like, we're long friends, but like once a year it'd be like, oh, that's a We were like, we both want to see that. Like, we're long friends. But, like, once a year, it'd be like, oh, that's a movie that the two of us want to see that other people don't seem excited about. Right. And we were really amped up about, like, we're going to prove them wrong. We're going to see it, and it's going to rule.

And then both of us are kind of like, I don't really know what to make of that thing. Didn't hate it, but we're like, that's a very confusing movie. Well, it opened number one, but to an underwhelming $25 million. Yeah. And it grosses a total of $63 million. Yeah, not great. No. I actually, I remembered it multiplying even worse. I remembered it being like

$25 and $50. I mean, but $63 isn't much better. No, it's not much better. It's okay. Yeah. Lukewarm debut. The number two movie is in its fourth week and had been dominating for three weeks. One of the biggest hits of the summer,

maybe biggest hit of the year. Is it Dead Man's Chest? It's Pirates of the Caribbean, Dead Man's Chest, which made $423 million total. Huge movie. It broke the all-time opening weekend record. People were... And I just remember, I was in college

and that came out when I was like still in class. And I just remember we're all like, like that's, cannot wait to fucking see this movie. Right. And then we saw it and it was kind of that matrix reloaded thing where we were like, what? That was,

I was bad, I think. Right. But Johnny Depp was in the, it was Captain Jack Sparrow. I thought we liked this. Like, you know,

like it was like, we couldn't just be like we didn't like that we were just confused I remember just being so bored by it right and I was not a big fan of the first movie but I was

excited for the second movie especially with all the fucking sea creature pirates sure I was like all in on all that design stuff right um and I remember

uh Ted Elliott and Tara Ross over at this one Russo and they said when the first one was a success we had to sit back and ask ourselves okay so we're making a trilogy now is this Indiana Jones or is it Star Wars

are we going to make two more films and act like it was always meant to be a trilogy and build a larger mythology and an epic three-part narrative. Or just do more adventures. And I always felt like they picked the wrong avenue. That I wanted to just see another crazy adventure. And they were like, no, no, no, no.

Mythos. The mythos. So much mythos. Yeah. We gotta meet Jack's dad. We gotta see the pirate council. Yeah. All this shit.

Todd Hansen of The Onion always used to contend that that's what he liked about those movies was that they put so much work into the mythos it's what's interesting about him no question that he's like someone's really

like really cares about it you can read interviews with Rosso Rosso and whatever those name Elliot and Rosso yeah where they talk about how into it they all were

but whatever that was number two I feel like those movies get bogged down by the mythos that's number two I do too but we should rewatch them and find out

because it's been years since I've seen it we're gonna get gory but like that was the number one movie of 2006 yeah 423 always get bogged down by the mythos. That's number two. I do too, but we should rewatch them and find out because it's been years since I've seen it. We're going to get going. That was the number one movie of 2006? Yeah. 423. Tell me the second biggest movie of that year. Second biggest movie of 06

was Ninth Museum. Which made? 250. Exactly that. Thank you. That's weird. That's weird. But that's great.

That's how much bigger a deal this was. That was, I mean, this was a time where nothing made over 200 and change. You've never gotten to the 300s, the 400s. It's also a time when, like, every Variety Card article was like, is cinema dead? Like, ticket sales down, right? Like, the whole, it's the pre-Marvel era when studios are scrambling to figure out, like. But you would have like one movie per year would get into the 400s.

Your Shrek 2, your Passion of the Christ, your Spider-Man, your Dead Man's Chest, whatever, right? Yeah. And nothing had made 500 million and nothing had made 600 million other than Titanic. Right. Like those were the only... That was the only movie that had crossed those two benchmarks.

Right. And now it's like Spider Spider-Man buys a candy bar. And they're like, yeah, two billion worldwide. Spider-Man took a piss in this movie. That movie's fun, though. No, it's great. I think that movie's a lot of fun. You know why? Spider-Man buys a candy bar.

Yeah, that one's good. Not Spider-Man Far From Home. No, Far From Home. Yeah, it's fine. You know what's fun? What? Tom Holland and Zendaya. Yeah.

Zendaya. Zendaya is Mechie. Is Mechie. Yeah. Zendaya. Zendaya is Michi. Is Michi. Right. That being cute. They're so cute together. She is adorable. I think that she's a real talent.

Yeah. And they're for real too, right? That's the question. I did a lot of Googling. Okay. Seems like they're for real. Yeah. Well, heaven's for real if you believe Colton Burpo.

I don't know what to tell you. Number three at the box office. It's a new release. It's a teen comedy. John Tucker Must Die? Yes. Now this is a film about how a character named John Tucker

must die. Because he's a jerk. He's dating three women at the same time. Within the same high school. That's tough. It's Ashanti. Keep going. It's, who are the other two?

I think Brittany Snow. Brittany Snow. Sophia Bush. Is that right? That was going to be my guess. Sophia Bush. And it's the kid who was the hunk of meat in Jesper Housewives. Who was going to be the next great movie star. Yeah. Who was going to be the next great movie star.

Yeah, he was going to be the next great something. Right. And the poster was just a woman's butt in underwear. John Tucker mustache. And she has it as like an above the ass tattoo is the title. Yeah. A quote unquote tramp stamp. The kids are calling

a tramp stamping. And here we go. Here's a ooh, this is a horrible poster. Jesus Christ. Oh, and then there's also

there's Ariel, yeah, Ariel Kebel. Is she one of the three? I think she's the new girlfriend. I don't fucking know. Okay.

Number four. Yeah. Uh-huh. You okay, Ben? No, no, good. Ten more minutes? Guys, rock and roll. Okay. Number four. What. Uh-huh. You okay, Ben? No, no, good. Ten more minutes? Guys, rock and roll. Okay.

Number four. What length are we at right now? Two. Twenty. Seven. Oh, boy. Plus ads. Oh, jeez.

Okay. Let's think about Michael Mann. Yeah. Okay, go on. Oh, Jesus. Go on. Look at him complaining. Go on.

It's an animated film. Animated film. You're so hot right now that I'm just like, Jesus. Go on. Look at him complaining. Go on. It's an animated film. You're so hot right now that I'm just like, I don't know. I'm going to give you no clues. Ant Bully doesn't come out until... Ant Bully is number five, so congratulations on that, because I was wondering how the fuck I was going to set that one up. Ant Bully? Yeah.

What is this? What is that about? The battle for the lawn is on, apparently, according to the poster. It's a kid who bullies ants in a real ironic place. He gets shrunk down to the size of an ant. Oh, Jesus. This looks like- Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti, Nicolas Cage.

This looks like a piece of shit. You're forgetting one. Who's the other big person? Daryl Streep. Right. What the fuck did she play? Produced by? Tom Hanks.

Okay. Is this one of those things where his kid had an idea and he like called katzenberg it's based on a children's book that has a very thin premise and i remember when he bought the rights and i was like i like that book i don't know how that book is more than 30 pages long and they made it it's a weird weird movie it's kind of about communism. It's 82 minutes long. Yeah. Nicolas Cage plays like a wizard ant. I watched it as part of my thing where I was trying to watch every Nicolas Cage movie to write an article

about it and then the outlet went under. What was the outlet? What was it called? Champion Magazine. Yeah. Well, I wonder why. Never got paid for it. Okay. The other animated movie, though, number four.

I think it's an Oscar nominee that year. Monster House. Bingo. There we go. That's a good one. I like Monster House. That's okay. You just think it's okay?

I think it's okay. You've also got Lady in the Water. Narf. You, Me, and Dupree. Little Man. Hollywood was different back then. You, Me, and Dupree. Little Man. Hollywood was different back then. Oh, boy. Devil Wears Prada. My Super Ex-Girlfriend.

New This Week. Little Miss Sunshine. In seven theaters. New This Week. Scoop. Scoop. Scoop. Hugh Jackman. Scarlett Johansson. Ian McShane. Scoop. Scoop. There Jackman. Scarlett Johansson. Ian McShane. Scoop. Scoop.

Scoop. There it is. New this week. It's kind of fascinating that Superman Returns is already this far out of the 10. It's 12. Yeah. It's made 185 on its way to 200. It eeks.

They keep it in theaters for like seven months. Jesus. They probably played it in drive-ins for like forever. Because their thing was like, our magic number is we greenlight a sequel if it makes it to 200. And then they eeked 200 and they're like... And everyone was like, where's the sequel? And they were like, uh... Yeah. Don't worry about it.

Too bad. That movie's great and definitely was not made by a criminal. Griffin's just blinking. I'm trying to work the logic there. It was made by a criminal. Griffin's just blinking. I'm trying to work the logic there. It was made by a criminal. It was made by a criminal. But it's an amazing movie.

Yeah. Well, it's okay. That's it? That's a movie we would have done a Blank Check episode on two years ago. We almost did. 100%. We almost did it instead of Lost in Space.

Now I wish we had. And the reason we didn't? Because we would have, yeah, we were like, oh, we might do Bryan Singer one day. Hmm. No, we won't. You don't want to do him? Footage not found. Right, exactly.

Next year, March Madness, losers bracket. Following year, March Madness, criminals bracket. Oh no, too many contenders. That's going to be the one time that McTiernan finally wins. March Madness, loser's bracket. Following your March Madness, criminal's bracket. Oh, no. Too many contenders. Yeah. That's going to be the one time that McTiernan finally wins. You're right. Because at least his crimes aren't as morally abhorrent.

Right. Yes. Miami Vice. It made 163 worldwide. Yeah. It's a good movie. It's a great movie. It makes me so happy.

Okay. Can I just... Do you still have... It's definitely not about Miami, though, at all. It's more about Cuba. It's a great movie. It makes me so happy. Okay, can I just, do you still have- It's definitely not about Miami, though, at all. It's more about Cuba. Yeah. Yeah. It's vice.

Do you- It covers vice. Yeah. Do you still have the window open with the top films of 06? I can get it really quickly. Why? We're just getting this episode, but I'm curious to see if I could do that as well. The top five?

Yeah. Dead Man's Chest number one, Night at the Museum number two. Is Cars number three? Yes. Ben's holding up the picture of Donkey Kong again. Cars is number three, 244. Cars is number three, 244. So there are two other movies over 200.

There's actually three because Superman Returns and that's number six so there are two, four, and five or either of them franchises one is, they both are one's the start of a franchise, one's the third film is it

Chronicles of Narnia? Nope oh that's a five I guess so one is the start of a franchise, one Nope. Oh, that's a five. I guess so. One is the start of a franchise. One is a third. Not one is the start of a franchise. One is a third.

Third and final? No. No? Third of like 16. I mean, there's been so many fucking spinoffs. Third of 16? I mean, 16 is the number I'm making up. I don't know how many there have been. There have been a lot.

Is it this one here? No, this one. This one here. Oh. They remade it this year and it just came out. We saw it together. We saw it together. Oh, oh, X-Men The Last Stand. Yep. Weird to

think of that film as a remake. Kind of is. Right, so that's 234. Yeah. Exactly. Thank you. Shouldn't you be thanking me? Should you be angry at me for revealing this sickness? And then number five is starting a franchise. Yeah.

Of which there have been three movies. We barely know. It's just a franchise starting. It was seen as a... It was probably one of the most hyped movies of the year. Really? Oh, six. When did it come out?

August. No, no, I'm sorry. Not August. That's when it left theaters. May 19th. I was briefly surprised. I was like, this came out... No, it came out May 19th.

It comes out May 19th. It's Sony Columbia. Sony Columbia starts a franchise. They make three. Yes. It was big. Yeah, Yes. It was big. Yeah, big. It was hype.

People don't remember now how fucking big this was. David's pointing knowingly. What's underneath? On the poster. There's something underneath on the poster? I would say this is his worst hair. Horrible hair. The worst hair in any movie.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's the Da Vinci code. Was that too much? Gotta crack the code. Gotta crack that code. No, no, no, no. Also, I mean, the teaser poster with the Mona Lisa is fine, but this was what they settled on for the final poster?

Yeah. It's just like Tom Hanks and what they settled on for the final poster? Yeah. It's just like, Tom Hanks and Audrey Dettou look sort of concerned. Yeah. They're kind of like, huh, that's how they look.

It's crazy how bad he looks in that movie. That movie is fucking garbage. It looks like, is it a wig? I don't know. It looks like someone took a shit on his head.

I believe he said they straightened it for him because he's got such curly hair. He has curly hair. He has very curly hair. He's all wrong for that character anyway. straightened it for him because he's got such curly hair. He has curly hair. He has very curly hair. He's all wrong for that character anyway. And then that whole movie, because he's so folksy and that guy's supposed to be kind of weird.

Right. And then that whole movie is just they like go to the fucking museum of choice. Like they're like four places. Yeah. And he's like, let me talk for 10 minutes. And he just fucking talks. Right. He's like, what you don't know is that if you turn the, you know, painting upside down,

it's a penis. But that was like he had- And that's about the Illuminati and you're like, great. He had his 10 year run of always $100 million grossers, including two Oscar wins.

And then he has two flops in the same year. Right. And so 06 is him being like, I need a guaranteed hit. And it was one. Tell me the worldwide total on that movie. So what?

It does 212? 217. 217 worldwide total in 2006. So the international hasn't blown up as much as it has. But I still think the worldwide total is like 580. 758. That is insane. Colossal. That is insane.

For that era, worldwide audiences ate it up. That's why they keep getting made. People would be like, people don't really like those movies. No, you don't understand. It crushes overseas. But then Inferno, I think, it made 85% of its money overseas,

but still. The year before that, as Batman Begins, makes like 350 worldwide. Right. And they were like, well, yeah,

you know, other countries didn't see movies yet. Okay, well, that's the end of our episode. That's Miami Vice. Apologies to the two potential guests who are probably listening to this

and going, Jesus Christ, what have they done without us? I know. Well, if they come back, if they come on the show, we'll just do Miami Vice. Separately or together, we'll do Miami Vice or we'll do something else. Well, we'll do something else, but we can also just do like a Miami Vice Patreon. Yeah, I'll do cocaine.

Yeah. Ben will do cocaine. For the first time ever. Yeah. It's a Patreon stretch goal I don't even like this line of jokes okay sorry

no you're right cocaine's bad cocaine is bad but if we get 8,000 Patreon subscribers Ben will do so much coke no I was gonna say

I will get addicted to ether I'll start huffing ether reds that is a Barry Griffin kind of thing. Right? Yeah, that's on brand.

I think that would be a fun affectation. Or would it kill you? Quickly. I see Griffin, though, inhaling from a cloth as a delivery system for drugs for him. That makes sense to me. I agree. He's a real rag. He's not a smoker.

He's not a vapor. He's not a shooter-upper. He's not a sniffer. I'm a cloth-er. He's a cloth-er. A man of the cloth. You're a man of the cloth. As long as there's ether a smoker. He's not a vapor. He's not a shooter-upper. He's not a sniffer. I'm a cloth-er. He's a cloth-er. Oh, man of the cloth. You're a man of the cloth. As long as there's ether on that cloth.

Thank you all for listening. A horrible note. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew Figueroa for our social media. Joe Bowen, Pat Rounds for our work. Claymont Garne for our theme song. Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit. Go to...

Ben's holding a zoomed-up photo of just Donkey Kong's face. Keep going. Go to Deep Public for some real nerdy shit. Patreon for blank check special features where we're still going through the Marvel movies. But by this point, we've had the Keep Roleplaying Game episode, which we've referenced. And you listen to that, you might meet some fun new characters. Oh, boy. And a fun old character, Frazzle David.

Yeah. And as always, we're all fiends from our hands. That's right. I'll let you go.