Blank Check with Griffin & David - Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

Episode Date: June 10, 2018

Griffin and David discuss the fourth installment of the popular franchise: Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol. But why was Tom Cruise’s whole career on the line? Did David Sims attend a red carpet event for this movie weirdly in Britain? Ofcourse we all know what a 'ghost protocol' is right? Together they discuss the stunts, Limp Bizkit, SNL pitches and more. This episode is sponsored by Hims (forhims.com/check), WeTransfer and Brooklinen (brooklinen.com PROMO: CHECK)

The secretary is dead. The president has evoked ghost podcast. Thank you, Tom. I need to try it again because I said evoked instead of invoked. He's evoked it though, you know. But I want to, I'm all about accuracy. The secretary is dead. The president has invoked ghost podcast.

You still really? My Wilkinson isn't strong? Actually, your Wilkinson is pretty good. It's not terrible, right? What were you going to say? No, it's just the podcast is just not, it doesn't hit like protocol. No, it's fine.

It's fine. Podcast? It's not a very quotey movie. It's a visual film. I was thinking like, what quote's he even going to use? This movie less of a talky movie it's a it's a visual film not i was thinking like what quote's even gonna use this movie less of a talky more of a runny uh i jump and i podcast you sure right i was maybe uh the uh did you did you podcast yeah i podcast was i not supposed to park that i don't know that's good i don't know what if it was with punch kick

fight podcast jump yeah probably that hello everybody my name is griffin newman i'm david That's good. I don't know. What if it was punch, kick, fight, podcast. Jump. Yeah, probably that. Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin Newman. I'm David Sims. Sitting across from me very pointedly. Yeah, I sit across from you every week. Well, but today.

Today, I made a little stink about it. You made a little stink. Today, I'm usually a little stinker on this podcast. Today, you made a little stink. I was asked very politely to sit next to you and I said, I don't want to. Sitting next to me in the chair that is usually reserved for the guests. This is the thing.

Turn your phone off. Hold on. I'm doing a great job. We can't do this podcast for one minute without us talking while we're all sitting. I gotta talk about this because this is in the news. It's a big deal. It's in the news. Okay? Sitting next to me where a guest usually sits. Sure.

Ben Hosling. He's kind of the guest. I'm not the guest. I mean, I'm just, we have a new producer here at Audio Boom. Yes. A Purdue-er. Yes. A Rage-ducer.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, her name's Rachel. A poet laureate. Yeah. A tiebreaker. Yeah. I guess you could help tie, you know.

Tiebreak? Tiebreak. Finest film critic. Do you like movies? Criticism? She shrugs. Meat lover? Do you eat meat?

No, you don't. Oh, wow. You're a veggie lover. Plant lover? Protein? She's not in your head. Yep, she loves it. Yeah, she loves it.

Have you ever detected a fart? I'm sorry. I shouldn't ask you this. These are my nicknames. This is kind of due diligence. I know this is tense right now. New producer. Yes.

In training. In training. First time on the board. Rachel is sitting in Ben's usual seat. Right. So Ben asked David to sit in the guest seat. Right. And David made a stinky poop in his diaper.

He wagged his finger? No. I said, um, can I not? Yeah. So he said it like that. You did say it like that. Actually? Uh, um, I'd rather not.

Can I tell you something really quick? It's like I'm Mariah Carey and you gave me a bowl of Skittles. And I was like, um, there are green Skittles in this. And I specifically said no green Skittles. Now this is your Diva Moment because of course today we're talking about your favorite action movie of the last 10 years. Yeah, that's correct. We're talking about Ghost Pro. We're talking Ghost Pro.

Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a podcast about filmographies. I forgot to say it's called Blank Check. Oh, sure. You have to introduce the podcast. It's called Blank Check. We're at Concert of Context. Hashtag the two friends.

You know it. Wow, great. But what's it about? Filmographies. Directors with massive success early on in their career were given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy passion projects they want. Sometimes those checks clear,

and sometimes they bounce baby. Now today is kind of an interesting episode. What you mean in Brad Bird's career? He kind of had a blank check and then made such a dramatic lateral move. Yeah. He crossed a Rio Grande line. No, this is the thing. I feel like he had, they gave him the blank check and he was like, I'm going to put this over here for now. Yeah. Like I still got it, but like not this time. I would argue this was a guarantor I think there is judgment

against animation directors moving into live action that's what it was he went to the bank and he was like I want to make a big live action original epic I don't know if he actually did and they were like it's good and your credit's fine

we got this one movie star who has such a preternatural sense of filmmaking that he keeps any director on rails okay right but I mean this movie is them being like if you could just like do a year of car payments and then we'll definitely

yeah exactly the director we're talking about is Brad Bird that's right the miniseries is called The Podcastables that's right and the film today that we are discussing is called mission impossible ghost protocol mission colon impossible hyphen ghost protocol uh yes that's my favorite thing about these movies is they can't have a colon after the title right that like they can't you know like any other movie is it a dash yeah dash right yeah yeah no no no you're right it's not it's an m dash you're right right you're right you're right it's an m dash right because putting the hyphen there makes it sound like it's a last name

because well this my name is mission impossible ghost protocol right my name is uh jeremy ghost protocol hershkowitz i just remember when the title was announced people were like mission impossible 4 was right there you could have just done that up until that point a franchise without subtitles but still MI2 remember was M colon I M dash 2 it was a bit

it was cool though I was all about MI2 as a title but then Mission Impossible 3 they were just like forget that it's just Mission Impossible 3 no they were just like, forget that. It's just Mission Impossible 3. No M-. And then this one, that was the twist. They were cagey about the title. Everyone was like, what do you mean cagey? It's a fucking, it's called 4.

What do you mean? And then they also said it's called, then when they said it's called Ghost Protocol, people were like, maybe like any other title. Ghost? What the hell is Ghost Protocol? Now everyone knows what Ghost Protocol is. Yeah, to the extent that Rogue Nation, which is a very Ghost Protocol-y title. Right? What the hell is Ghost Protocol? Now everyone knows what Ghost Protocol is. Yeah, to the extent that Rogue Nation, which is a very Ghost Protocol-y title. Right. I mean, these are

Bond-y titles. Right, it's at a standard where it's like, okay, every movie they're going to initiate some new thing with a weird name, a weird code name, and then when the new one, which will be coming out shortly after this episode releases. Yeah, I should find out. Is it out yet?

I think it won't be out yet, but close. That's my guess. That's your grift guess? Yeah, but it's just called Fallout. And I'm like, don't describe the emotional state of the character. Describe his status as a citizen. It's out basically a month from now. This is coming out in June.

It's out in July. Yeah. I'm so pumped for it. This is a good franchise. Franchise we like a lot. We love this franchise. We've talked about like a lot. We love this franchise. We've talked about it a lot on this podcast over the years. One of those franchises where we have occasionally discussed maybe just do a mini-series on that.

Yes. Because it is such an autordrome franchise. And I think it would be fun to do. But now we just have to cover each of the directors individually. Well, we've already done one of the directors, done another of his films. Yeah. Christopher McQuarrie. We did Jack Reacher. And we did one of J., done another of his films. Yeah. Christopher McQuarrie. We did Jack Reacher. And we did one of J.J. Abrams' pictures.

That's right. We did Star Wars. Yes. So, I mean. We just got to do a De Palma miniseries, a John Woo miniseries, which would be interesting in its own way. Yes. I mean, he kind of went off the rails there.

Yes. Yes, he did. The movie's called Ghost Pro. Mm-hmm. It is, of course, as we all know, the second best Mission Impossible film. The best Mission Impossible film.

One of the best films of its year. One of the best action films of my life. 2012? 2011. 2011? It's in my top five. Now you, very erroneously called it your favorite summer blockbuster

of the modern era shut up and I will never let you live this down I was on Todd Vanderwerf's podcast and he asked us to pick like five summer movies of like the last ten years and you did a lot of wind up going wait till you hear what mine is I did that's why it sucked

if I had just mentioned it and Todd had been like that movie came out not in the and i was like oh okay yeah sorry because other people kept on but i saved other movies and you were like close for me that's my three like and then you saved it and guess what that movie's a christmas present um it's a christmas movie it's still so weird you know because every single mission impossible movie has come out in the summer. Summer franchise. Except for this one. But this one came out December 16th. Came out Christmas. And that's because?

Even though it's set in hot places. Franchise had a little dirt on it. Dubai. It's got a lot of desert. The franchise had a little dirt on it at this point. Tom Cruise, the star was a little rusty. A little grimy. And this is kind the thing that that gave him his groove back he has not been able to reclaim top unassailable across the board tom cruise status right but this franchise and how successfully this movie revived the franchise

it kept him afloat brought him back up for air because he's got after War of the Worlds a film we've discussed Mission Impossible 3 which is seen as a flop right make money but disappointment

very disappointing certainly relative to 2 and this was the first time that people went like oh I think the Tom Cruise personal life is fully overshadowing that was the movie where

all the War of the Worlds stuff actually crested onto Mission Impossible 3 because War of the Worlds everyone's freaking out about Tom Cruise but it made a ton of money but that was the one and it was obviously Impossible 3. Because War of the Worlds, everyone's freaking out about Tom Cruise, but it made a ton of money. That was the one.

And it was obviously very sold on. Cruise, War of the Worlds is sold on. Aliens. Right. Then you got Lions for Lambs. So then. Interesting fact. Yeah.

I covered the red carpet for that movie. Really? For People Magazine. Did you get to meet TC? Yes. Do you know what he told me? What? Great to be in London.

That is so sweet. Wait, but why were you in london uh oh yeah well i lived in london what i'm sorry i'm sorry you you what grew up it was actually my life oh really you done is it over uh so rachel at this point uh drop in uh big band chimes for approximately four and a half minutes is Is that what you usually do? I don't listen to the final episodes. I actually play the whole God Save the Queen. Okay, cool.

Cool, cool, cool. Public domain. You certainly can. You totally can. You should pick a patriotic British song every time. You could play Jerusalem or Rural Britannia. All those songs they always play. Wait, but how do you know all these songs?

Yeah, why are you just listing these off? It's so weird. It's know all these songs? Yeah. Why are you just like listing these off? It's so weird. Like it's part of your background. Yeah. So. Two big things. I just want to tell you about the red carpet for Lions for Lions. I thought you did.

I was, it was raining very hard as it often does in London. Wait, but why were you? Oh my God. It was raining very hard. I had been assigned to go because Cruz was walking the carpet. Yeah. And people's like, you know,

and especially, it's 2007. Yeah. You know, Katie Holmes is way up there. Like, you know, this is, people want a quote. Was he walking and not running?

Well, that's what I was about to tell you. Oh, okay. So, cause it's like, I don't, I think Meryl and Robert Redford were there, actually, the other, and like, you know, that's what I was about to tell you. Oh, okay. So, because it's like, I don't, I think Merrill and Robert Redford were there, actually. The other, and like, you know, Michael Pena or whoever, whoever else. Andrew Garfield, an early Garfield picture. Yeah, he brought those there.

I was probably like, who's that? Yeah. So, but I'm there. It's raining. I'm on the red carpet. It's a Tom Cruise red carpet. So, there are a ton of fans. Yeah.

And he, it was 90 minutes I watched him i clocked it 90 minutes of going up to every single fan yeah and he does whatever they want him to do yeah so a lot of its autographs but a lot of them had phones with their parents or sisters or whatever on the phone he gets the phone he talks to the person on the phone he like takes a picture with you he got like he it was like watching a like politician you know like but like who not just any old politician like the like bill clinton circa 92 or whatever like some kind of like retail politician who's like a genius i don't and then he comes up to us and says it's great to be in london i don't understand how he uh how anyone

has that much energy. It was something to behold, for sure. Not like Jamie Foxx, who I covered as well. I don't know if I told you that story where he drove his SUV down the red carpet into the lobby of the theater. Inside, comes out, strikes five robot poses for the paparazzi. And then goes, the kingdom, see it. And then gets back in the car, which reverses up the red car. Good bit. Five comedy points.

I have two follow-up questions. It was amazing. He wasn't even pretending to go see the movie. Was it the premiere of the kingdom? It was the premiere of the kingdom. I got great quotes from Jennifer Garner, though. So my boss was really happy. So you should have responded when he said the kingdom, go see it.

And then got in his car and backed up. He said, no responded when he said the kingdom go see it and then got in his car and backed up. He said, no, you go see the kingdom. We're walking into the theater. We're the ones who are about to see the kingdom.

You fucker, get out of here. Wait, but why would it be in the United States? No, that was in London too. What?

I was a little red carpet boy. Clearly, I had no idea. Lights, camera, Sims over here. I once almost, you know what?

You're full of surprises. I've got so many red carpet stories from that year of films. I met Jerry Seinfeld. Oh, 607. B-movie? Yeah, B-movie. You know what I mean? Colin Firth for something, and I fell in love with him just talking to him.

He's one of those guys who's like... What would have that been? No, it's 0708. 0708? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A Firth-y from 08. We had Stardust I did that one

oh yeah Golden Compass that was a lot of stars yeah Nicole was there and Dana Craig and all those people Ella Blue

god damn it Dakota Blue Richards I think is her name yeah whatever so Lions for Lions Ella Blue is John Travolta's daughter who's in Old Dogs I just want to

I want to do right this is the Cruise context I want to give yeah he had always been a Paramount guy with very few exceptions.

Uh-huh. Kind of had first look at Paramount. Right, Cruise Wagner was kind of set up with them. Right. Because the movie

where he transitions to being a producer as well, packaging his movies, is Mission Impossible 1. That's his first credit as a producer. He picks a big director he wants to work with,

Brian De Palma. Because before, he would sort of look for directors' projects and place themselves in their hands. He says, now I'm going to hire a tourist. And also, people have been trying to lock him down for a franchise for years. He goes, finally, I've picked my franchise. Here's the Tom Cruise franchise. Dusting off an old 60s TV show. Martin Landau, get the fuck out of here.

It's Tom Cruise time, right? Iconic theme song. But a pretty's Tom Cruise time, right? Mm-hmm. Iconic theme song, but a pretty malleable franchise, right? Yeah. Impossible mission force. The impossibles are missing.

Right, the impossibles are missing. What the hell? What the fuck am I talking about? Let me eat a piece of bagel twist. Clearly I need to rebound here. Sound the alarm. Oh, God.

Rachel, if you can turn that up. I'm just giving you all the things you don't know. So Ben always turns that up. Way, God. Rachel, if you can turn that up. I'm just giving you all the things you don't know. So Ben always turns that up. Way, way up. He cranks it all

the way up. Ben? No, I don't. All right. So he's a Paramount guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mission Impossible

is his franchise. And after the kind of blow up of Mission Impossible 3, he goes to dinner with Sumner Redstone. He also splits with Wagner, right? Splits with Wagner. Because this is a Tom Cruise production,

not a Cruise-Wagner production. Splits with Wagner. Yeah. Paula Wagner. I think she might have followed him to United Artists. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm looking her up.

But like fires his manager, fires his publicist, all that sort of stuff. Paramount. Yeah, that was when he replaced his manager with like his sister. Yes, correct. He really like sort of took to the bunkers for a while. Right.

Paramount, Sumner Redstone, head of Viacom, super scary man. Yeah, crazy old man. Who has been weekend at Bernie's by his family for the last five years. Let's not get sued, but allegedly he is non-compost mentis in some way, maybe. I don't know. He goes, Tom, personal life's overshadowed, the movies, you don't have

a home at Paramount anymore. United Artists, MGM, struggling to stay afloat, new cash infusion, wants to make a big splash. They go, United Artists, a studio started by Charlie Chaplin, Lillian Gish. Yeah. What was supposed to be a haven for stars. Well, it was at times, and then it would get sold off.

Then it was a shingle. It was an indie kind of division, whatever. They said, Tom Cruise, how would you like to have your own mini studio? Right. Tom Cruise, here's United Artists. You make whatever you want. Yeah. And so he announces

bold new era of tom cruise united artists passion projects lions for lambs which is the lowest grossing tom cruise movie in yeah and no one remembers that it existed he made a movie with robert radford and meryl streep like a big iraq war drama like a talky chamber drama yeah like he plays like a senator and he's just like, the reason we go to war is this. I've got my glasses in my hand. That is the fundamental yes or no question of our time. Yeah.

That's his big line in the trailer. How exciting. That is the fundamental yes or no question of our time. Then he made Valkyrie the next year. Right. Which is sort of like, does okay, but. Small for a Tom Cruise movie. Yeah.

Does better than people remember. Yeah, but maybe.'s directed by a monster uh also he's in tropic thunder that year right which was sort of you know him him being like see i'm a funny guy that's a fun cameo i like that cameo i do too i do too i do think it's a little bit of tom cruise like really trying to be like i am funny like don't worry about me I'm not creepy but I mean it's funny I agree he throws himself at it I also wish he had done it without

all the makeup yeah it's a little borderline anti-semitic yeah and I think that character type works just as well as if he looks like Tom Cruise as opposed to being in Jew face it would be like a surprise remember that I get it but like also you could give him a mustache like there are other ways if he looks like Tom Cruise as opposed to, but they had this whole pitch where it would be like a surprise.

Right. Remember that? I get it. But like, also you could give him a mustache. Like there are other ways to surprise a mustache. Like he has the glasses and the mustache. And then at the end of the movie,

he's like, by the way, right. It's Tom Cruise. Yeah, exactly. You don't have to go like, here's the surprise.

We're going to make it look like Ben's Ben's. I'm okay with all of this, except I like the hairy arms yeah the hairy arms are good and he's got the weird hands like that are like a little too big

what if that had been the disguise it looked like Tom Cruise but the arms are really hairy and I was like well but that can't be Tom Cruise it's like a Superman thing where we're like

no Clark Kent has glasses like you know like Tom Cruise's arms are normal hairy smooth forearms so then night and day

another sort of so now he goes to Fox Universal the United Artists thing his arms are normal Harry. It's got smooth forearms. So then, Night and Day. Another sort of slight disappointment. So now he goes to Fox. Universal. The United Artists thing is like dead. Experiment's dead in the water. Goes to Fox.

It was a big deal. He's juggling a couple possibilities of what he could do. I think he almost did Salt. Yeah. Salt he was very close to doing. Who is Salt? I believe it's Angelangelo.

That's right. But that was like a big deal at the time where it's like guess who they replaced tom cruise with angelina jolie and they're not even rewriting the movie yeah yeah yeah salt's okay i'm sure it is i've never seen oh you never saw it no i'm more of a pepper guy myself so rachel uh right here if you want to drop an audio of just gales of laughter like a wild like um yeah yeah you're gonna have to sweeten that up just make it sound like all of audio boom is giving me a standing o oh god just ignore him all right so night and day doesn't really do well his movies still do well overseas. They don't really lose money. That's the thing. The pitch on him now, the official word on Tom Cruise is the star has faded.

He's now more like he's drifting into Stallone territory where he's a big enough name to carry a budget. You always get pressed, but you got to cap those budgets. He's not a blockbuster guy. So then he announces, I'm making Mission Impossible 4. Right. And there was a moment in between these two points, Mission Impossible 3 and where we are right now, the stuff we've gone over, where Paramount was like maybe we keep doing Mission Impossible without

him. And there was this notion. It's a five year gap. Fairly large gap. Brad Gray is running Paramount. Yep. The late great Brad Gray. Yep. He had been Brad Pitt's manager and producing partner for years and he apparently was very bullish on the idea of it's Brad Pitt

he's the head of the IMF and it's a bunch of young recruits the movie is Brad Pitt with a team of youngins that kind of came close to happening they finally go okay Cruz we're going to keep you on a tighter leash we'll do Mission Impossible 4 but their original stake was we'll do

Mission Impossible 4 to let you pass the baton yes the original pitch was we're going mission impossible four to let you pass the baton yes the the original pitch was we're gonna do mission impossible four they hire brad bird you know which is a nice hire right i remember the short list being like brad bird edgar wright there was someone else cool who was on there like cool cool directors they were all cool directors um but they also hired jeremy renner who's like coming off of the hurt locker and the town and like you know he's an oscar nominee and everyone thinks he's going to be a new star But they also hired Jeremy Renner, who's coming off of The Hurt Locker and The Town. He's an Oscar nominee, and everyone thinks he's going to be a new star. They had written that role for a guy in his 20s.

And there was the shortlist. They were doing crazy screen tests on every young actor. Anthony Mackie got really close to getting it. I guess he plays younger. Kevin Zigers from Transamerica weirdly got very close to getting it. Thank God that didn't happen. Isn't it Zygurs? There's an I in there?

Maybe. I think it's Zygurs. Maybe. There's one other guy on the shortlist who I'm forgetting. But everyone was like, which actor who looks

around 29 is going to be the next star of the Mission Impossible franchise? So it was kind of a curveball when it was Renner, who was only like

four or five years younger than Tom Cruise. He's now 47. Yeah. So when he made this he's early 40s. And also that he was more established at that point. They thought they were going to go with someone

who was like real up and coming. Yeah, he was like an Oscar nominee. Right, he was an Oscar-winning lead actor. And at this point, he's signing up to franchises left and right. Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters. Which they thought they were going to make 12 of those. 12?

Seven at least. He's Hawkeye. Of course, we all remember him. Up the crow's nest in Thor Not taking a shot A scene that cuts together very well And I guess Bourne happens a little after this

Yeah Bourne is 2012 though So you know not long But everyone is kind of going like he's the new War Horse guy He's the new War Horse guy That's interesting I guess Mission Impossible is going to be handed over to Jeremy Renner. Less baggage. Sure. He'll do it.

Smaller salary. He'll do it. Do it. He'll do it. But late in the game, Chris McCrory gets brought on, who had written Valkyrie for Tom Cruise. Cruise is now big on him, asking him to come in, do punch-ups, do rewrites. And he is trying to do a Hail Mary pass on the script which is in the middle of filming

yeah that he came on board oh wow it's that late and he was like first of all you can't fucking get rid of Tom Cruise and he goes to the studio and makes the whole pitch on like this is Tom Cruise's franchise you can't do it which is why Jeremy Renner's character arc is weird in this movie

because they kind of like mid production reconceptualized what the movie was that the way here's the way he puts it yeah it was the middle of the shoot uh i had to communicate with everyone to determine what i could or couldn't change what sets have been built what scenes had already been shot what scenes could be reshot i learned a lot about production being right there yada yada yada this script has all had all these great sequences but the mystery was very complicated and i just pulled things out of it to make it simpler that's how he describes his role he basically like said like the plot of this doesn't matter like what you want of those big set pieces so let's just make this mystery very, very, very simple. Maybe that includes

more Renner stuff that he's like, no, that's not important. I get that feeling, and I get the feeling that it was supposed to end with Renner fully taking the lead, and he probably said, no, it's got to be Cruz, we have to find something else to keep Renner here, which is

where the wife stuff comes in. Yeah, I think it's good. Now this is where I think we get to the fundamental disconnect griffin griffin shut up for a second ben did you know that 66 of men lose their hair by age 35 don't get me started when you notice it it's it's just too late and it's already gone all the hair you look in your shower drain and you're like where did i all come from? Where did all the hair all come from? And it came from you.

It came from the top of your head. How are you going to feel in a year? Instead, it's business as usual up on the top of your head. I would love it. Rather than hairline receding, how about it comes back? Yes, please. All right. Well, 4hymns.com.

It's a one-stop shop for hair loss, for skincare, for sexual wellness, for men. Thanks to science, baldness can be optional. HIMS is going to connect you with real doctors, medical-grade solutions to treat hair loss. Now, David, wait. Are you saying that well-known generic equivalents and name-brand prescriptions to help you keep your hair are now on the market and available and for a reasonable price? See, if you go to 4hims.com there's no toggle or like drop down bar for snake oil pills for gas station supplements you're not gonna buy you know powdered tiger over here you're gonna buy real generic

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last uh you could just look at for hymns.com for full details this would cost hundreds of dollars if you went to the doctor or a pharmacy you go to for hymns.com slash check oh okay sure great so i just i just checked that i've typed that in right. What is Griffin? Am I talking to Griffin Newman right now? Come on. No, I mean I was on time and I'm not eating anything currently on the microphone. No, you go to F. O. R. That Griff

dunked on your ass. Sorry, you go to F. O. R. H. I. M. S. Dot com slash check for hymns dot com slash check. There you go. All hymns dot com slash check. There you go. All right. So back to the nonsense.

Yeah. Mission possible. Ghost particle. So it is interesting to me that this movie does sound like it was a complicated production. Yeah. They did change it around. They did have this weird concept of making crews leave and then sort of double back on it. Yeah. They did change it around. They did have this weird concept of making crews leave and then sort of double back on it. Yeah. All interesting considering

that it's a perfect movie that makes me so happy and I've watched it a million times and I don't care. Okay, so here's our divide on the movie. Yeah. Yeah. But the divide is like I love it. You like it a lot, right? Like it's not like it's not like that extreme a divide. I can sense the lack of a script on this movie.

I think set piece for set piece, it's perfect. But these movies don't need scripts. But I think Rogue Nation has a great script, which is why Rogue Nation is the best one. I think Rogue Nation is the only one that works as a story. I love Rogue Nation. It spins a yarn for us, Benjamin.

I agree. I really love Rogue Nation, so it's like I have no beef with loving Rogue Nation but this movie was directed by Brad Bird let me settle this I kind of like Rogue Nation better thank you

I like Brad Bird more than I like Christopher McQuarrie but I think the gap between scripts in these two films is wider than the gap between direction. Okay, but you know what? I knew we were going to do this, and I don't want to do it. That's the end of my commentary. Because we're not talking about Rogue Nation.

We're talking about Ghost Protector. We'll talk about that in our next miniseries. It's silly. The pod of the cast are Christopher McQuarrie, Mace. I guess that would be the move, right? Who cares? Whatever. Because when this movie came out

Rogue Nation didn't exist correct and instead we were watching a movie that was like Tom Cruise's whole reputation was on the line

and we were watching him literally like claw it back in front of us and he successfully and it is thrilling it's as thrilling as someone climbing

the Burj Dubai he successfully finds his angle for a new decade yeah which is Tom Cruise is the only movie star willing to almost die the Burj Dubai. He successfully finds his angle for a new decade. Yeah. Which is Tom Cruise is the only movie star willing to almost die. Tom Cruise is a maniac.

He's a maniac. It was, I've written about it. He will do anything on camera. I think it's, I think it's deliberate where even if he doesn't know it's deliberate, where it's like, right, the public now perceives him as a maniac.

Yeah. He should just be a maniac. Correct. And then everyone's going to be like, what a maniac. You know, that's the other thing I like about Rogue Nation. This is a movie about everyone realizing he's a maniac, he should just be a maniac. Yeah, correct. And then everyone's gonna be like, what a maniac, you know? That's the other thing I like about Rogue Nation. It's a movie about everyone realizing he's a maniac. But this movie's like that too.

Yeah. But in this movie, he's like a conductor of a great symphony. That is what this movie is. And the symphony is people screaming, you're a maniac. Whereas this movie is him working with an orchestra, and Rogue Nation is a movie where it's like we only have a dump truck and he's like doesn't matter.

It's going to make great music right now. You know because like in Rogue Nation the things get so ridiculous where they're like we've lost the codes. He's like I know all the codes. How do you know all the codes? I memorized them. How would you possibly be able to do that? I just did like it's always like he just does the thing that no one could ever do. Right. Ethan Hunt has never. This movie

has that too but Rogue Nation is just one could ever do. Ethan Hunt has never... This movie has that too, but Robation's just like more? Like higher? Ethan Hunt has never really been a character. He's interesting when he overlaps with Tom Cruise. Ethan Hunt. Ethan Hunt. A little made up name. Ethan Hunt.

Ethan Hunt. It's like literally someone in the 90s was like, who's cool? And they were like, Ethan Hawk. And they were like, all right, Ethan Hawk. Can we just like follow that a little bit? What's a thing that America loves hunting Ethan Hunt

Ethan Hunt yeah we don't know anything about him we know everything about him like where's he from oh I don't know that

yeah exactly like you know we know everything else well we don't know that but we know everything else about him what is the impossible impossible mission force

I don't know I love that they didn't say that out loud until like the third one like they kept on doing IMF because they were like this is too corny in a modern age

the third one is very like no let's figure out like how the IMF works you know the first two are more just sort of like he gets a tape and let's say

what are they having for lunch seriously that is the other thing what's like the org tree the other thing is Lawrence Fishburne above Billy. That is the other thing. What's like the org tree? Is Lawrence Fishburne above Billy Crudup? The other thing that actually helps this movie get made is the rise of J.J. Abrams

because he directs three. It's his first film, but now Bad Robot's become a powerhouse. Right, he's made Star Trek. Right, he's a big dude at Paramount. Super 8 was a big hit. Yep. And so he really pushes,

I'm now the production company behind this franchise. And he and was a big hit. And so he really pushes, I'm now the production company behind this franchise. And he and Cruise love each other. They're like, great, we're going to make a movie. We're the ones developing it. The way Jeremy Renner got cast in this was he was meeting to play the dad in Super 8. Yeah. And JJ decided he was wrong for that.

But then said like, wait, do you like Mission Impossible? Oh. And he's like, yeah, those movies are fun. Sure. And he's like, stop the presses. Get Kevin Ziger's out of here. It's Ziger. Who cares?

I don't know. He's not a real person. I mean, I didn't care. He doesn't exist. He's a fictional character. That's probably true. He's never been a person. I challenge, if any listener can call in and tell us that they met.

Kevin Zeger. Either one. It doesn't matter. It's an imaginary friend. I also like how this movie puts Tom Cruise against the Nordic Tom Cruise and the Indian Tom Cruise. Like Michael Nyquist and Anil Kapoor are both older when they're in this movie. And their stardom is firmly established but those are both guys

who in their respective countries kind of were like a Tom Cruise type at the height of their fame and I think that's great I do too

it's one of the many things I think is great about this movie and Tom Wilkinson is of course the English Tom what if that was true he was like

oh he was the English Tom Cruise like did you see like the movie where you know he like baked a pie oh he was the English Tom Cruise like did you see like the movie where you know he like baked a pie like whatever like the English version

of that is every Mission Impossible movie has had a different head of the IMF right so in one Voight it's Voight in two it's Hopkins

right who got paid like eight million dollars for one scene there was like a big deal was it that much he got paid it was a big deal how egregious the salary was

because then he gave it all to charity or something sure like a loser is three Fishburne is the head yes in four it's

Wilkinson sort of uncredited yes yeah and then in five it's Alec Baldwin right but he's kind of adopted it

yeah it's like they're they're the foster kids but then in six it's Baldwin too so six is the first one that's gonna like direct sequel

one director doing more than one but this is the first movie well Ving Rhames is always popping up like that's going to carry everything over. Direct sequel, one director doing more than one. But this is the first movie. Well, Ving Rhames is always popping up. That's the one thing Mission Impossible had. It was like people expected Ving Rhames, right? It was like Tom Cruise is in them and Ving Rhames will show up at some point. Right, because the first one, he's got a team.

They all die. Ving's the only one who survives. You got Estevez, Emilio. Who else is on the team? The French lady. Oh, Emmanuel Baer? Yeah. Emmanuel Baer? Voight, obviously. Emmanuel Baer? John Voight. I'm just going to look over there.

Academy Award winner John Voight. Yeah. That was a trivia question once that we were really proud of getting correctly, which was how many Academy Award nominees have appeared across the five Mission Impossible awards. When we got them all. Yeah. That is hard. Because there are a bunch of them. Voight looks sickly. Now?

Yeah. You're worried about him? He makes a lot of MAGA movies now, right? He's sort of leaning into the Trump thing. He's also playing Trump at the Hall of Presidents. Funny. Have you seen that robot? Looks like Jon Voight.

Ben, have you seen the robot? Ben, the looks like John Voight Ben have you seen the robot Ben the wifi is bad he bears resemblance to John Voight Ben the wifi is being bad hey you know what what I saw that

yeah and I had the same thought yeah I went like this hmm that robot bears resemblance to John Voight I was like excuse me

hold on hold on one second let Ben talk everyone stop for one second that robot yeah that's gone viral

yes kind of looks like John Voight you know what's funny Stop. For one second. That robot that's gone viral. Yes. Kind of looks like Jon Voight. You know what's funny? I was watching a Jon Voight movie the other day. Uh-huh. Go on. Do you know actually who he looks like? Yeah.

No, no, no. Can we let him finish? No. We haven't even started the movie. It's 36 minutes. Come on. Come on. The Hall of Presidents robot.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. All right. Wi-Fi's bad, Ben. Oh my God. What do you want me to do? This guy won't stop going on and on about the same subjects. Oh, geez.

Sorry. Why don't you mention the Wi-Fi? Don't you want to play the box office game later? All right. What do you want me to do? Nothing. Do you want me to yell at the router? They kind of do that in this movie.

David, stop yelling at Rachel. All right. Unbelievable. It's her first day. It's her first day. She's doing a great job. This guy. You know, it's a lot. Some of us are trying to keep the train moving. Hey, you know what?

We should sit next to each other more often. We should. Definitely should not. You want a piece of my bagel? I should be sitting next to Griffin. Make sure to eat it on mic. Griffin, I ate my whole bagel twist like half an hour ago. You have eaten two bites of it. I'm savoring it.

I had dinner with you the other day. You got fried chicken, like, you essentially got Japanese chicken tenders. Yeah. You ate like two

and took three home. I got another thing. Yeah, you did get a little like rice bowl thingy as well. And to be fair, I was drinking beer. Oh,

so sorry. Yes, you're right. These are good. Yeah, it's really good, right? So is a beer. I drinking beer. Oh, so sorry. Yes, you're right. These are good. Yeah, it's really good, right? Yeah.

So is beer. I like beer. Okay. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. So, I also think, well, for one, this movie had

a lot of IMAX shit. It had that IMAX package, you know, where it like gets rolled out in IMAX and you want to see it in IMAX. Big sequence of shot in IMAX package you know where it like gets rolled out in IMAX you want to see it in IMAX big sequence of shot in IMAX

but the other thing was that the opening of Dark Knight Rises was going to play before the movie that was coupled in I believe the movie much like the Dark Knight Rises had no 3D option which is again Bird you know like Nolan kind of being like, eh, fuck that shit.

I think Cruise has also only done one 3D movie, right? Which one? Oblivion? I believe so. Oblivion. Tom Cruise is a two-dimensional man. Sure. He needs a two-dimensional medium.

So, but no. But there was like a weird thing. I mean, they thought this was going to be a summer release. They pushed it to Christmas. People wondered if it was damaged goods yeah no definitely like the hype was low and my hype was low

yeah I was excited about the Brad Bird angle yeah but even that I was kind of like I don't know like can he handle this kind of a movie

I had so much faith in Bird I was excited I was excited I mean like I was there yeah so the brother but I definitely was not like I feel about going to see

Mission Impossible 6 this summer where I'm like I love Mission Impossible you know like I had liked 3 a lot yeah but thought it was

a little odd yeah it's an odd movie it's an odd movie I like it I do too I think it's great yeah

I do I really do not quite as good as these ones but it's not a movie but it also was kind of a franchise reset yeah that was

Hoffman's Unbelievable Abrams was like I want to make them team movies again and he sort of resets them it's a a movie but it also was kind of a franchise reset yeah that was Hoffman's Unbelievable Abrams was like I want to make them team movies again and he sort of resets the board it's a fun team you get Simon Pegg in there

and Jonathan Rhys-Myers and Simon Pegg who he carries over because he is a lot of fun but in that movie and that role was intended for do you know who? Griffin Eamon?

if only Ricky Gervais which like talk about a bullet dodge wow fun fact about Ricky Gervais. Talk about a bullet dodge. Fun fact about Ricky Gervais. I don't know if you guys know this. He's an atheist. This is the thing about Ricky Gervais. People don't know this.

I've read that somewhere. He doesn't believe in God. Not a religious guy. But also, he's an atheist. Yeah, totally. David, have you heard about this? I know. He doesn't believe.

What does he do now? A derrick. No, that's done, I think. Well, I know he's not going to church. I'll tell you why. You know why? He doesn't believe in God. That one.

You did this bit like two years ago. Yep. It was funny then. Yeah. It's funny now. It's fine. Yeah, yeah. You did this bit like two years ago. Yep. It was funny then. Yeah. It's funny now. It's fine. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I, Taurus, he still does stand up. He definitely does his stand up. I think he might have like some Netflix thing. He keeps on doing dumb Netflix things. I mean,

they did an office follow up that none of us watch because we were like, Hey, remember when the office ended perfectly? Yeah. Hey, we don't need that. Let's ignore it. Yeah. He literally did a follow up that we all collectively chose to ignore

just don't talk about it the office ended perfectly but this was the year where Gervais was still like this hot new English comedian to Hollywood so they were like

yeah he'll be funny I mean I'm talking about 06 put him in a Talioni romcom right but then so in 3 Peg's just the guy

at the computer but in this one he's out in the field he's out in the bout. He's out and about. It keeps the team concept. But it just says, Peg... New team. You add in Paula Patton,

who's coming off of Precious. Who I love. Who I love and who else loves her. Well, he's got to get her back. Robin Thicke. Wrote a whole album about it. Got to get her back. It was creepy.

He didn't. I mean, you watched that music video, right? Oh, sure. That's about it. Gotta get her back. It was creepy. He didn't. I mean, you watched that music video, right? Oh, sure. That's about him trying to get her back where he casts another actress to play her. Yeah. And the whole video is them naked making out together. And it's like, I don't know if she's going to love this.

Then didn't he get some shit later? Like, he's a creep, right? Yeah, he sucks. Well, that's why they split up. Right. He was like cheating on her all the time. He's a creep. That was the thing.

And there was also, right, there was that lawsuit where Pharrell was like, yeah, I kind of just wrote that song. He was like in the corner, like asleep. Right. Like he was like completely out of his mind. The Marvin Gaye estate sued Robin Thicke saying that he had stolen, I think, the main bass line. Yeah.

From Gotta Give It Up. Four blurred lines. And the way that he avoided having to pay out was he had to testify in front of court like I didn't really write that song at all.

Right, right, right. So he had to He had to admit like I found that shit in. I literally Skyped that shit in. Yeah. Alright.

Everyone felt so bad for me that Fro wrote a song because I couldn't write it myself. She's great. She's great. You gotta get her back. What happened to her? I don write myself. She's great. She's great. You got to get her back. What happened to her?

I don't know. She was in Warcraft. That was tough. I think that was supposed to be another big thing for her. You made me tough. Go on. This is good. Yeah?

That was good. Is this like a bit? Not a bit. I'm a video game movie guy. Officially. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. And you liked it? I did. Did you see it in theaters video game movie guy. Officially. Have you seen that movie? Yeah. And you liked it?

I did. Did you see it in theaters? No. Okay. All right. But what else did I watch? What's the... Assassin's Creed is good.

This is... What is this? I swear. What is this? I saw that movie. Here's what I want to say about Assassin's Creed. I don't think it's good. It's a little interesting.

I mean... A little interesting. Just the, just the curzels interesting. Do you like video game movies now because you view them all pretending they're part of the Wreck-It-Ralpha verse? Oh, somewhat. I don't know if I've ever... That's interesting. Like Assassin's Creed because you're like

I can't wait till Ralph shows up. I'm killing this but one last question. Have you seen the Resident Evil movies? No. I think you'd really get a kick out of it. I think you'd like those. The second one is rough, so you kind of got to make it through that one, but then three on, fucking great.

So good. You know what I'm writing down? Resident Evil movies. Ricky Gervais, Atheist. Ben has taken out a pen. He is writing down that robot looks like John Boyd. Here's her post protocol.

Okay, one comedy point. Jumping the broom. Fine, like comedy. She's trying to make herself a man of comedy. Two guns. There are two of them. Hashtag the two guns. Something called baggage claim.

That's another rom-com that she produced, but she didn't star in. About Last Night. No, she's in it, apparently. She's in it, but she's not the star. It's and Paula Patton. Fine. About Last Night. She's kind of key supporting part in that, not one of the leads.

The Perfect Match. It's another rom-com. She really went in on the rom-com. Maybe that's the one that she produced. Yeah, that's the one she produced. The Do-Over. Baggage Claim she starred in. Right, she's the female lead in the Do-Over.

And then Warcraft. And then, like, that's the last we in the duo over and then Warcraft and then like that's the last we heard of her yeah come on oh no she's got a TV show which I think is already done she had an ABC show that ran for 7 episodes the other thing about Paula Patton is she worked in documentary

films for like 10 plus years she's great but she like got a film degree, was like, I'll never make it as an actress. And like just worked for PBS and did like, was like a segment producer

for like medical shows and shit before she was like, fuck it, I want to be an actress. So she didn't start acting until like 2005 and then very quickly started like booking big parts,

but movies that didn't really work Deja Vu supposed to be a big movie didn't really work Idlewild she's very good and doesn't work and then this was kind of the moment where everyone was like okay. But she'd been in Precious Precious she killed it. She's great. Very underrated in Precious didn't get enough credit for that performance and that's like now she's in a big

fucking franchise. Paula Patton about to happen. She has this sort of smaller performance you know next to two very big performances. You know, Guy Brassidebe and Monique's performances are, you know, really like theatrical

and good. They're great performances. She's the heart of the picture. She's like muted and yeah, she's the heart of the movie. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol begins

with everyone's favorite movie star. Josh Holloway. Josh Holloway, that's right. For the second time, Abrams kills off a lost, or an Abrams cast member. Sure. In the like Holloway. That's right. For the second time Abrams kills off a Lost or an Abrams cast member. Sure. In the first scene of the movie.

The Tom Selleck of our time. In Mission 3. And now Sawyer from Lost. The Josh Holloway thing is fascinating. I love it. I remember when they announced him in the cast the assumption was that he was part of the team. Yeah, sure. And they cut the trailer from that one action sequence across it making it look that he was part of the team. Yeah, sure. He'd be like a Reese Myers. And they cut the trailer from that one action sequence across it, making it look like he was on the battlefield with them.

Because he gets through so much action within this first two-minute stretch. He's also great, I think. I think he's great. He's really fun. And God, what a fucking good-looking guy. Handsome. Can't get over it. Does the thing with the lenses.

Yeah. Does the little uh you know the tap move which i like you know where he's sort of like the guy's like oh and he's like hey buddy yeah and that's like real movie star move to like sell that kind of like don't miss a good actor he's a good fucking actor and i don't get why it didn't happen for him yeah he it's really tough when you're like i i do I do like he needs a specific kind of role yeah

you know and like you get locked into a TV show like he's done a couple now I think get John locked into a TV show

we're just talking about Lost we might get John locked into a TV show you know what I mean like cause he got cast in like some alien show didn't he yeah

and he had a CBS show that like premiered huge and then the next episode got four viewers and then it's like you're just stuck you know and then it's like that was two years now you four viewers. And then it's like, you're just stuck. And then it's like, that was two years, now you're 39.

It's like, you just kind of colony. He should have been a movie star, but I think he falls into that weird Tom Selleck territory. And then it's like, well, then he should have had a good follow-up show, and it still hasn't happened. Right, he just hasn't found that. But he's great. I love it when he falls off the roof and has the little inflatey thing. Great.

That's awesome. You know what I love? No. Did you watch the movie? You watched it. Yeah. He falls off and then his backpack turns into an airbag. It's like, oh yeah. It's cool. The other thing I like, this movie does very well. I remember in the lead up people were like,

but what's a fucking Mission Impossible movie going to be now? You got a smartphone. Why do they need all these gadgets? I like that all of their gadgets run off of smartphones right that it's like no the cool thing is their smartphones

do better things than yours yeah they have plugins though I do feel like Mission Impossible 3 is really gadgety and has so many masks yeah

and so there is a bit of a like where we're gonna like let's just slightly like they have to be a little more on like on their toes this time well and that's the notion of this movie

put them on Ghost Protocol have their backs up time. Well and that's the notion of this movie. Put them on ghost protocol. Have their backs up against the wall. Make a ragtag. Everyone knows what ghost protocol is. Everyone knows what ghost protocol is. When the president avows it. Ah ghost protocol yes. Invokes it. Yes invoke the ghost protocol you know. Um so

he is killed by Lea Sudu. Yep. Lea Sudu. It's pretty good. She's pretty cold-blooded. Shoots him. He gets moided. She's very good in this, and it makes it even more... She's steely.

Yeah, she's very steely. It makes it even more insane that they cast her for that role in Spectre. Yeah, they cast her as the romantic lead who's very vulnerable. Not what she's good at. No, she's... She's terrifying.

She's ill-served by this. Like her a lot as an actor. But emotional distance is kind of her stock in trade. Love her in The Lobster. Yeah, she's great. She's just scary in that. Yeah.

So, she moit is him. Moving on. Just like that, we've lost a big star. Gone. Everyone's like, Josh Holloway's dead. What?

That means anyone could die. How could this film continue? who's it gonna be about now ah we cut to a prison a gulag yeah a Russian prison

yes Paula Patton in the tunnels she's in the tunnels Benji Simon Pegg is yeah I guess he's just

in a van I'm talking Casio here more of a computer man you know that's the whole team I guess he's just in a van. I'm talking Casio here. He's more of a computer man. That's the whole team, I guess. Just the two of them. Yes, at this point, yes. Because Holloway's dead. Right.

He was the other one. Right. They are here to free Tom Cruise from prison. To extract him. And he's doing the fucking Steve McQueen against the wall. Yeah, with a little piece of chalk. Right? A little bit of plaster.

Yeah, it's plaster. It doesn't usually bounce. Cruise has the long hair again Yeah In Mission Impossible 3 Short Yeah And this one long

Yeah In Rogue Nation Kind of in between Middling Fallout's short again Okay so here's my hot take That I was kind of teasing Before we started recording

Yeah yeah yeah I think this is Peak Tom Cruise handsome Wow So Ben was saying That he looked like garbage. He said more like Tom Garbagio. I did not see that.

He did. No. He said he looked like a shoe that a pigeon threw up on. You did say that. You said that verbatim. No, you were very anti-Cruise in this. He looks bad. So what's peak hotness to you?

Because I don't agree with Griffin, although I think he looks good in the movie. I'd buy a slice. I would say, I mean, he was so cute as a young man. Very cute. Sure, like your risky business. I watched Jerry Maguire with my family. My mom kept on going, God, he was so cute.

He was cute. Because she hates him now. I guess like, I'm going to have to say like 80s or 90s. Maybe 90s Cruise. So you're saying a few good men or The Firm, those kinds of movies. Yeah, yeah. Strong hairline. Good job. He's got a great fucking hairline in this.

Like Mission Impossible 1. No, but it's starting to look stringy and he's like, I don't know. Here's my thing. I like Tom Cruise with some city miles on him. Sure. I like him with a little wear and tear and I think he's got just the right amount of damage in this picture.

You know what I mean? Yeah. I say show me the Car Fox. Or Car Fax. You're asking the Car Fox to show you the Car Fax. Yeah. Jesus Christ. On Tom Cruise. Oh my god. Alright. I don't know

I don't know I think show me the Carfax I think Maguire is like Pete Cruz for me I'm just saying I've seen Maguire recently

I watched this last night and hot diggity dog was I buying what he was selling sure until he takes his shirt off at which point it becomes

gross that's the thing yeah and now and these movies are not trying to make him a romantic lead. No. It's something that they're sort of like quietly swerving away from. Because three, all about him trying to settle down.

It's all about his romance with Michelle Monaghan. Yes. This one, he's asexual. Yeah. Well, he kisses Paula Patton, but he announces that it's a bit before he does it. Yeah. And it feels like that thing where he's like, don't know i feel like we got some chemistry and they were like all right i guess it's a bit you know like you know like the screeners like i don't think you but the bit is also like him realizing that anil kapoor is like a sub right yeah that he's gonna be

like into her demeaning him right kissing someone else right she likes he's gonna be like into her demeaning him kissing someone else in front of her he likes having his fingers broken he's a weird character you know that fetish Tom Cruise specific cuckolding so he's in prison people who just exclusively

like being cuckolded by Tom Cruise here's where exclusively yes okay thank you are you done Just people who just exclusively like being cuckolded by Tom Cruise. Here's where exclusively. Yes. Okay. Thank you. Are you done? Maybe. I mean, let's go on.

Let's see. Maybe we'll come up again. He's in prison. Do you agree? Yeah. A hundred percent. They're rushing to get him out. Do you agree?

Yes. What's the move? How do they do it? How do they announce themselves? Play kick in the head by Dean Martin. Over the speakers. Yeah. And what's brad bird

announcing right now this is a brad bird picture this is a brad bird picture it's a fucking symphony my friends this is the overture and we're i'm conducting this shit for you like tom cruz is conducting this shit for you this is like really what's happening there i how do you feel about this i love love love this sequence awesome great. Like all the stuff with the doors, like opening and closing. It literally is like you're watching, like, I feel like a dance production, which is what this movie is like. This movie works best as a silent film. Well, that's silent. You want to hear the sound effect?

Sure. But I'm saying this movie, its strength and why Brad Bird knocks it out of the park, despite the script being kind of neither here nor there, is because the set pieces are so well designed. And he is such a good visual storyteller when it comes to gesture. Right. Movement. I agree. Movement of both the camera and the character. Getting how satisfying it is when everything is, like, it's like an animation project.

Yes. Like where everything ends up exactly where it's like an animation project. Yes. Like, where everything ends up exactly where he wants it to end up. Right. He is also an incredible setup payoff filmmaker. Oh my God.

Wait a second. I just sound 40% better. Nice job. Look at that. Thank you very much, Rachel. He's an incredible setup punchline filmmaker. So much.

And this movie is all about setting stuff up, paying it off and often very little kind of visual gags, not plot points. And like in this openings, I just like, you know, all this stuff where he's communicating with Benji silently through the CCTV

where he's like, open that up. Yeah. And Benji's like, are you sure that seems like a pet? He's like, yes, open it up.

Tom Cruise is one of the best physical movie stars alive. That's what you make Cruise gesture. That's when we're in the fucking pocket. And then when he like leans, you know, and he's like, yeah, we'll just wait. And then you cut to the guards like looking at this guy being like, what the fuck's he doing? And he goes like, I know, right? Like, I want to beat you up, but like they're not opening the door for me. Tom Cruise and Bradford are such a fucking smart pairing.

They are. I wish they'd make another movie. Yeah, that was my thought, is, like, he should have followed this up. Tom Cruise should have been like, Brad Bird, you fucking, whatever you want to do, I'm there with you. Yeah, you have the wheels.

Right. But maybe Bird, I mean, look, we've talked about it in every episode. Yeah. Bird's a demanding guy. So is Tom Cruise. That's what I'm saying, but maybe they clashed in the wrong way.

Like, maybe they didn't gel. I mean, obviously, they made a great movie. I think Cruise likes this movie, but, you know, he wants Macquarie to make the next one. Like, obviously, he installs Macquarie for the next one. I think that was also that he had sort of taken on Macquarie as a reclamation project.

Macquarie said that he was in director's jail for a long time. He gave him Jack Reacher, which we both agree is the best American film, period. Best American achievement. Yeah, right, right. In any category. The defining movement of the 21st century. Hoover Dam is below it.

Yeah, right. It's like the New Deal. Right, exactly. Like New Deal number two. Yeah. Right? Jack Reacher. I think it was more about making sure that, like,

Macquarie got his, like, shot in the big leagues. That's fine. That's fine. That's fine. I just, maybe, I have no idea. It's not like this. This is not like the animated movies where there's documentaries on the DVD where all the animators are like, Brad Bird.

Right. You know, like, it's not like Tom Cruise is like, Brad's interesting. Because I could see them hitting it off being like, oh, you're another little guy who's super aggro and intense about doing everything right and accepting no apologies or excuses. I think, I do think they enjoyed making this because Tom Cruise was like, I'll tell you what I want to do. Climb the tallest building in the world. And Brad Bird was like, yeah, let's do that.

I'll tell you what I want to do. Hang Robert Ellswood out of that building. Yeah, I'll tell you what I want to do. Hang Robert Ellswood out of that building. Yeah, I'll tell you what I want to do. Throw you through a fucking window. Right. It also feels like he gets Ethan Hunt as a character more because he's kind of Ethan Hunt-like. Like, he's the Ethan Hunt of animation, Brad Bird. Where he's just like, fucking do it correctly.

Throw me out of this building. You know? You know, he has... Crash, boom, crash, explosion, fire. Appears to be a little bit of fuss over there. Let's look outside the studio. What is it? Oh, my God.

Someone's just broken through the wall. It is me, your arch nemesis, the wet transfer. I didn't know I had an arch nemesis. Yes, the wet transfer. What's a Ransfer? He is wet, Ben, so you're probably... I'm soaking wet. Yeah, exactly.

I mean, you look great. I'm about seven foot two. Sure. And I like to Ransfer things. I don't know that verb. Well, I take a thing from one place and I move it over to another place safely and securely. Buddy. My parents named me and I thought that's, I had to live up to the name and I read it

and I said, okay, wet Ransfer. I guess I must be soaking wet. I see the mistake. I see what happened here. What happened? I think honestly, maybe something happened with his birth certificate. Yeah, he just put the space in the wrong place. You're WeTransfer.

Yeah. Ransfer's not a word. Well, did that make sense? Because over 40 million people have been enjoying me for years. Do you just like send and receive files every month? Yeah. Like very easily with no sign in, no offer codes, no password that anyone has to use? No, never.

I would never even dare do that to him. I mean, I would say no mess, but you've destroyed our studio. Well, that's the sort of ranse for a part that i think he's been doing wrong i just try to identify what ranse foring is i gotta be honest it's sort of a jazz set for me where every time i'm taking a different approach but i think at your core you're just like the kind of company that would like use 30 of your ad space to showcase creative people from around the world oh yeah from day one i've been doing that from day one of course right like podcasters like us yes and that's why you're here yeah not to ranse for well i mean now i think probably to transfer

i don't know if you guys have any files you want me to we've been using you honestly i guess you didn't recognize us no i mean i gotta be honest i've been so caught up in my own you know just who am i what am i doing you know let me stop you right there ranse for we're gonna skip the rest of the 60 second ad and get right back into the podcast. That's wetransfer.com. You make WeTransfer. I guess I'll just soliloquy somewhere else outside this gaping hole I've left in the studio. He was wet.

He was soaking wet. That was cool. He was. Sorry for that, Rachel. We've got to work on security here. Yeah, we have interruptions like constantly episode very very frequently

this guy's been sleeping on the floor hey let me sleep okay let him sleep let him sleep Tom Cruise breaks out of the prison

he's but not before going and getting his Bogdan cellmate his buddy Bogdan everyone's favorite character he's a good character

he's like the Yondu of this film Sergei yeah he's a little character. He's like the Yondu of this film. Sergey! Yeah, he's a little Yondu-esque. He's a little, um... What's, uh... Maz Kanata-esque. Yeah. He just sort of pops up.

You know what's like... I always feel like a test of a good kind of large-scale filmmaker is understanding the iconography of the movie star they're working with and how to introduce them properly and Brad Bird's introduction shot where he reveals Tom Cruise like from behind in profile in the shadow

and it's like yeah but he's Tom Cruise that's all you need to see we get it we know it's Tom Cruise he orchestrates this whole like what I love is he's being rescued and Tom Cruise takes over the rescue and makes it like he pluses it everyone else gets stressed out because they're like just do the a to b we're just gonna drill a hole and come down the hole no no no i gotta do all this fun stuff kicking the head so good at closing doors and then he says light the fuse yeah he lights the fuse credit sequence begins shows you the whole

movie yeah and that's just brad burr bragging where he's like, you won't believe how fucking good this movie is. Like, look at this. Look at this thing that's going to happen. Which also, he took from the TV show. He said he liked

that the opening of the TV show always showed you what was about to happen. And what else does this movie have that fucking Rogue Nation doesn't have going for it? What? Mikey G

on the ones and zeros. G Aquino, big strings. Why did I think that he scored five as well? He didn't. I mean, five is by the guy who did Jack Reacher. Macquarie's guy. And I think the five score is fine.

But this is Giacchino. Giacchino's amazing in this. Big strings. It's a very old-timey score. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas, remember Mission Impossible 2, Limp Bizkit did the theme. They remixed the theme song. Every time I close my eyes. old-timey score yeah yeah like whereas like you remember mission impossible to limp biscuit did the the theme like they remixed the theme song every time i close my eyes i think that that

wasn't that's the metallica song that's i disappear but do you remember that like that was like of course i do a selling point yes yeah then did you like limp biscuit yeah of course i did did you do you go hot dog water baby that's just pee right is that what that is yeah chocolate starfish is a butthole they're dongs dumb they were like such a big deal the tom cruise was like yeah they do the theme song for my movie i remember reading i think it was a new york times profile mission impossible 3 where they were like tom cruise is he on the edge is he about to lose his movie star cool because it was like you know the year after war of the Worlds.

And so he was really trying to sell like, no, I'm just a guy. I just love making movies. And he, like the New York Times reporter goes like, Tom Cruise stared at me intensely and said, wait, do you know that Kanye did the new Mission Impossible theme song? Can I play it for you? And then like Tom Cruise ran out of the room, came back in with a boom box, pressed play,

and then wouldn't stop dancing. And the notion that like Tom Cruise had to stand back in with a boombox, pressed play, and then wouldn't stop dancing. And the notion that Tom Cruise had to stand in front of a boombox to the Kanye West version of the Mission Impossible theme, which no one remembers existed. And he's like, how fucking good is this? He apparently kept saying stuff like that.

I think that's what he's like at all times. Everyone says he's constantly at a 10. He's so hyped up. Right, so he gets hyphy and he escapes in this i really do it like those interviews with him where people don't ask the real questions and they're just like you know i really love top gun he's just like what a picture he's such a fucking weirdo but that's bird gets it because he's a similar kind of weirdo i think bird has a little more humanity but he like gets a little more the weird intensity of tom cruise there's the izoid shut

dvd features where they're like someone's like and how did you feel when you heard that kubrick died he's just like horrifying and you're like everything is too big but anyway yeah they rescue him and they tell him fyi some dude stole some nuclear codes right josh holloway is dead and he's like sawyer from what yeah but also killed him that fast anyone could die also he's like why did you guys pull me out of there and they're like we thought we were saving you and he's like no it's some bullshit he's like ah that's a red tape yeah this is Bogdan, by the way. I love that he shoots him with the dart. He's like, Bogdan, my friend, you're going to be great.

A door opens. He's like, take it away from us. It's all like, you know, we're watching like a ballet performance. But this is, Bird hits on this thing that becomes the cornerstone of these Macquarie pictures, which is Ethan Hunt becomes a character through how other people react to him. Sure, yeah, he is a little reflective.

The people around him have to be normal so they can go, who the fuck is this guy? What? That's the strangest song. And they're like, well, let's take you to a phone booth. He goes to the phone booth. He learns his mission, right? Voiced by? Oh, who is it?

Teddy Newton, who's one of the best Pixar animators, also worked on Iron Giant. He's one of the best character animators alive, but he also plays the voice of the briefing in The Incredibles. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. He's got a good voice. And he is also the chatter telephone in Toy Story 3.

All right, you've gone too far. I'm saying in Pixar, he always plays a phone or a mission giver. No, that's cool. And Brad Bird gives a little tip of the cap. He's got a great old-timey voice. But I also like, it's this little junk Brad Bird gives a little tip of the cap. He's got a great old-timey voice. But I also like, it's this little junkie, like, Serbian phone booth or whatever. And then he, it's like,

he doesn't, and Tom Cruise is like, come on, self-destruct. And it blows up. And Bird being like, this shit's a little dicey for this type. Like, not everything is, like, working. Yeah. I mean, this isn't your, you know, human protocol. This is a ghost protocol. So, should we get more claps? Yeah. Yeah, like, a human protocol. This is a ghost protocol.

So, so should we get more claps? Yeah. Yeah. Like, right. Yeah. No,

he goes, I once clapped into the microphone and you got so mad at me. I can't remember why. You were like, David, don't clap at the microphone. Yeah. That's just common sense.

Don't make a loud clapping noise directly in a microphone. Okay. Rachel, can you play some booze there? Of course, a booze of boos like when Dylan went electric. Play it fucking loud! Remember how he says that on that? Where at the end when they're doing Rolling Stone

and everyone's booing and you hear him say to the band play it fucking loud! I love that. Dylan. Dylan is the best. He's not a weirdo. He's like Tom Cruise. Yeah, right. He's even better weirdo. He's like Tom Cruise. Yeah, right. He's even better. Sure. Yes.

No. They get their mission. He's a poet and he knows it. The mission, if he chooses to accept it. He gets back in the van and he's like, yeah, we got to break into the Kremlin. They're like, well, we just orchestrated a whole wonderful action sequence. You're saying that 15 minutes in, no downtime? We just have to break into the Kremlin?

He's like, yeah. Can I get brunch or something? No, he's like, no, get your iPad screen projector and your inside-out coat that's Russian General on one side and American 80s tourist on the other. Can I tell you my number one takeaway from this film? Yeah. Tom Clu... Wow!

Tom Clues? Mr. Tom, I gave you all the clues And the thing is My point Was gonna be so good And now I can never make it No what's your point Come on

No please Tom Cruise Is so fucking good At taking off And putting on clothes There are so many sequences In this movie Where he has to dramatically throw on a jacket

or the one where he turns the belt into like a zip line and he's able to like in one gesture just go like He always makes it seem like it's a Herculean task to put on a coat. What do you think of the Kremlin scene? It's so good.

Great. It fucking rules. This is going to be my take on it. This is like the Robocop episode, but I'm just like. Yeah. I like that they set up this thing that it's like their technology is only like a step ahead of them. And if the Wi-Fi signal is bad, they might be in lockstep with the technology and they have to like kill time while the loading finishes. That thing,

it's such a good bird moment. But when they're at the security check-in and Benji's trying to get Tom Cruise's profile loaded into their system, his eyes rather, so that he'll register as the general that he's pretending to be. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And Tom Cruise like is waiting. You're not in the system. Tom Cruise looks down, sees the phone. It says 87%. And then the camera just tilts up to Tom Cruise's face. He's so good at linking those moments where it's about what's the information, which characters know it, where are they. It's just basic fucking filmmaking that he makes look so effortless.

It's so funny. Good visual storytelling. Paul Patton's outside. She's got the little whirly gig. Yeah, right. But then they get inside. This is my favorite device. Maybe in the whole Mission Impossible franchise.

Agreed. It's so crazy. It's so cool. It's so fucking funny. And also, it's so convoluted and Bird communicates everything about it without any words being spoken. No one explains what this thing is.

They just set it up. It's a weird projection screen. This is the best part of the sequence. They can't talk because the guy's right there. Right. There's a camera in the back that takes a picture of what's behind it. There's a camera in the front

that locks to your eyes. And like, then it scans everything and just like, it's so clever. This is like his Buster Keaton movie. It's so good. It is.

That's what it's like. Right. Or ballet dance,, I already suggested. So they pull off this fucking incredible thing where they pretend that they are not in the hallway, but they are in the hallway. I also like the sound throwing flashlight where he makes the drips. Love that thing. Very low pie.

I like it though. No, no. That's why I like it where they're like, let's set up the crazy iPad machine. How are we going to distract them? Oh, we'll make it sound like there's a leak. That's it though. No, no, that's why I like it where they're like, let's set up the crazy iPad machine. How are we going to distract them? Oh, we'll make it sound like there's a leak. That's the other big flag that I think Mission Impossible plants on this film is we're going to be the analog

franchise. Uh-huh. Like despite being the franchise that's all based in like tech and gadgetry, we're going to start showing how the gadgetry works in a way that's like process based. And also this could be the franchise about like we shoot shit for real. Well that's right. That's more of it. Right. Yeah.

Right. Yeah. Those action scenes can't be like pre-vis nonsense. Right. They need to be like real stunts that are very elaborate. And the three films before this were like more hip I would say. And Brad Bird is not concerned with hip. No. He is very into cool.

Another mic adjustment. Oh my god. I keep on knocking it down. I think I have a limp mic. I think I have a sad Eeyore mic. Ben is now adjusting the adjustment again. Oh yeah, he's giving you a little tilt. Clever.

Clever girl. To Ben. Not to Rachel rachel sorry that would have sounded diminutive uh he is all into coolness okay and this movie's just like very crisp very clean yes it is it's the opposite of sweaty it's very like it it's made to look effortless agreed but then not afraid to be slapsticky because like this thing with the iPad there's all these funny like where they're like just ducking out of the camera just in time and oh it's so much fun

but they set the rules of the sequence up very clearly entirely visually they do the sequence they do successfully break into the data vault that they're looking for this cobalt info. But nothing there.

Tom Cruise walks out. Who does he walk by? Michael Nyquist. Nyquist. The girl with the dragon tattoo himself. Who is now passed. I know. That's actually very sad.

Yeah. You want to hear a story I heard about him that's good? To eulogize? Sure. So he, of course, uh in john wick as the big bad the first john wick he's the one who says oh yes it's a good line there is a scene where someone really is a good line there's a scene where someone pushes him up against a wall and in the process on the day they cracked his head open oh they thought it was a gag i was like

in that movie wow it's literally someone like holding up against a wall and going like where's John Wick or whatever it is right and he was like a Swedish leading man in his day but you know

he's in his 50s at this point he's in his 50s now and he hits the wrong side you know like the angle sure cracks his head open gushing blood

and visible on the front so they were like what can we do can we go to the makeup department can they fix something and michael nyquist was like no i'm just gonna wear a hat for the rest of the movie

and that's why for half of john wick he has a hat on and not a continuous half right just 50 of his shots sometimes his hat appears or disappears within a sequence i feel like that movie was like everyone was like yeah fine this thing's not gonna be like a franchise i feel like that movie was like everyone was like yeah fine yeah this thing's not gonna be like a franchise i just love it he was like here's my solution and he went to a spencer's gifts he just wears a fedora where's your nearest lids yeah siri where is lids uh r.i.p um uh he plays the villain a non-nnd cobalt uh kurt hendrix hendrix hendrix sure um rather than so uh mission possible one the villain turns out to be like john void and it's like inside the mission yeah right mission possible to the villain is due grace scott it's a real way right the real villain was tom cruise john woo i don't know no running time the production manager on mission possible

two who stopped do gray scott from being able to be an x-men that guy's a hero yeah yeah um mr also three the villain is philip seymour hoffman big villain like first time they really just were like so this guy's gonna play the bad guy no fooling great performance for one of our finest ever fantastic Fantastic villain stuff. In this one, they were like, we have too much shit going on. We don't need a villain.

The villain is literally just a guy who wants to blow up the world for no reason. What? That's it. There's, there's no time. No. My guess is there might've been more of this.

I imagine there has. And I think Macquarie was just like the villain doesn't matter. Like this is all about cruising the team. Like just, just forget the villain. The villain is like them not pulling off all these wonderfully choreographed stunts. That's what you don't want to happen.

I mean, Lea Seydoux is like a good B villain. Cause she is kind of scary and tough. And like, but like, you know, steely mission possible three is like a movie that very consciously in its like self-knowing wink,

wink JJ Abrams way is all about the MacGuffin because everyone's trying to figure out what the White Rabbit is. And the end it's like it doesn't matter what it is it was a mystery whatever. And this movie's like

we're not even going to pretend that you're supposed to care. Right. Yeah I mean I wrote down why bad guys do this stuff because I'm like Great question. Great question.

I love how there's a YouTube clip where he's just like a lot of people think the world should continue to exist as it is what i'm proposing is what if we killed everyone that might be fun what do you think that's an idea right just blow everyone up yeah right that's his justification his justification is he wants everyone to die which is it's great you don't need more you know just like because my father hit me and I hate bombs because he made them.

What I love, and it's right at the end, the only really crazy thing he does where Cruz is like, I've got you. Now you can't. I've got you. I've got a gun with you. And he's like, you forgot. I want to die and I don't care about anything. I'm throwing myself off this fucking parking lot, right?

I just think Sean Harris has a little more flavor. I'm quite mixed on Sean Harris. I really enjoy him. I don't know that that movie really knows what it's doing with him because they're just trying to be like, let's have an Ethan Hunt villain. Scary man. Scary man who also seems to just be able to do anything.

Then they cast Sean Harris, who I enjoy. Yes. A contender for Ben, the Ben Hosley story. He could be a Ben. A contender. He could be a Ben. Yeah, I don't...

I'm fine with that, I guess. Ben's got more of a chin than he does. That's true, he has a nose chin. I remember seeing Rogue Nation with a friend of the show, Orlando Ollier, and he turned to me and went, oh, so that's why Sean Harris always has a beard.

That's funny. But anyway, all right. So the villain, yeah. Villain is not really a villain. Forget it. Right. They fail in their mission. Not only do they fail in their mission,

the Kremlin blows up. But he succeeds in one mission. What? Turning his jacket inside out very quickly. Looking really cool while doing it. He also takes all his makeup off in like one gesture it's a really cool transformation it's so much fun that's also when i think he looks sexist the entire movies where he's wearing the glasses with the springsteen shirt flicking on that jacket put

it away i but put it away what you're talking about here i agree with which is like there is so much delight in these movies like bogdan being taken out of the van in just like a fluid transition executed seamlessly. Bird knows how to make that seem like an action sequence all by itself. He's very good at the musicality. He's looking at Sean Harris. In kind of like a grandpa way where he's

sort of holding the phone up to his face. What do you think? He could do it, right? Anytime there's a sort of skinny guy with red hair i'm like hmm could he play ben hosley you know what i mean yeah like it's a little uh i'm painting with a broad brush yeah ron howard uh yeah sure yeah ron howard ronny howard could play old ben if there's like a time-traveling Ben film. Oh, Ben from the future. You know, you can play future Ben. And we were like, Ben, what happened? You were like,

all the bits. A lot of bits. They finally got to me. They caught up with me, the bits. The great bit war of 2049. So, Kremlin blows up. This is when Ghost Protocol gets activated. It gets initiated. The most famous moment of the movie. Cruise is knocked out. Ghost Protocol.

Wakes up in a hospital. Handcuffed. Wilkinson gets shot in the head. Well, first we... Oh, you're right. Our entries are detective character. Because there's the explosion. Oh, who I love. Who's like, hey, it's me. I'm finally here. The star of this movie. This is a movie about a detective who catches a terrorist. Vladimir

Mashkov. Right. He's like the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern where he's like, he's got a whole story that's happening. I'm Tom Cruz. I'm the star of this picture. Where he's like, someone blew up the Kremlin. Yeah. This is a very big deal to Russia, right? Like, this is bad. Here's a guy who was impersonating a general.

One to one. Done. We've solved the case. Connect the dots. There was some weird broadcast where it's like, this is the work of the Tom Cruise. Goodbye. Right? Like, you know, like. And earlier today, Tom the case there was some weird broadcast where it's like this is the work of the tom cruise goodbye right like you know like and earlier today tom cruise the movie star was spotted filming near the kremlin i love this guy and i i wouldn't love him if he didn't have the arc where at the end he was like i figured it out yeah tom cruise is like good that's great i wanted you to figure it out but for most of it he feels kind of like the teacher in Incredibles

who keeps on trying to catch Dash leaving the thumbtacks on the scene. Right. Sure. Spoiler. No, we already did that one. Remember, Ben? Yeah.

Now I remember. Love you, Ben. Ron Howard Ben remembers because he's further in the future. That's right. So, Tom Cruise, very quickly, another beautiful, just like very quietly established, nurse leaves her folder on the gurney. He immediately picks out the paper clip.

Yeah. Yeah. He escapes. All the papers fly away, which they don't pick up on. Right. I just love that detail of like, if they were paying attention, they would have noticed he had the paper clip. Because suddenly the papers are floating all over the place. And then he escapes.

Right. He walks out onto the roof. The Russian guy catches him and he's like, what are you doing? He looks like an overstuffed hot dog. Right? He does. He looks like too much meat stuffed into a casing. Sure, right. He looks like a cheesesteak. This is when his body starts looking weird. I think his face is looking great.

His body needs to take a down notch. Okay, fair enough. But he whips off that belt. Classic Tom Cruise fashion zip lines out of there. Damn right. He's so insane. That's part of Ghost Protocol.

What a crazy man. Zip line protocol. So then he calls, gets picked up by Wilkinson and Jeremy Renner. Hey, here's my secretary. Here's a pencil pusher by Wilkinson and Jeremy Renner. Hey, here's my secretary. Here's a pencil pusher played by Academy Award nominee Jeremy Renner.

He's only going to be here for a minute or two. There's also the scene where Tom Cruise, in that scene, draws Michael Nykma's face on his hand. And Jeremy Renner's like, oh yeah, no, of course. That's, you know, what's it, Kurt Hendricks. No, no, he fucking, he throws him some shade. He goes, well, the drawing's a little crude, but based off your description. Like Renner, this is why I love him. Tom Cruise puts a fucking oil painting on his hand and Renner's like, yeah, I mean, I guess that's him.

Right. Renner is the dude who's just doing his job. And he's like, we don't need these fucking crazy movie star IMF agents. Just get a guy who shows up, gets it done. By the book. So he's already. He's an analyst get a guy who shows up, gets it done. Right. By the book. So he's already. He's an analyst.

He's an analyst. That's his position. Right. But Wilkinson initiates ghost protocol. Right. No more IMF. Everyone's disavowed. If you get caught, you're in the wind.

You can almost describe it as a rogue nation. A rogue nation is the syndicate, right? Like that's what that is. I just love that the two films have titles that could kind of be interchangeable you could call either thing the opposite thing yeah so yeah this is the first of three movies where the

IMF is disbanded and Tom Cruise has to kind of go rogue before Wilkinson can even finish offering him his condolences boom gone car plunges to the bottom Wilkinson can even finish offering him his condolences. Shot in the head. Boom. Gone.

Car plunges to the bottom. Yeah, now Cruz and Brandt have to hang out. Cruz and Renner. Right. And Renner is just like, how do you fucking know that flare thing was going to work? I know, they keep doing,

Cruz keeps doing like, let's try this. Yeah. And Renner's like, that doesn't make any sense. Why does that work? He keeps on asking, like, how did you know that?

And he's like, I don't know, a hunch? He's like, what do you mean hunch? He's like, I'm number one on the call sheet this is how these movies work yeah right

and then they get on a magic train I love the train train's good train's probably my favorite thing in the movie and also again like that's Bird having fun

like where it's like put the code in okay here's the code oh it wants an eye scan like get your eyes scanned Brad Bird's also talked about that for him, the moment that kind of sums up his filmmaking philosophy is that Han Solo has to kind of hit the Millennium Falcon

before he gets it started. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, if you're doing high genre stuff, you need those moments that are recognizably small and human and kind of funny. Or else it's just watching machines on rails. Right, but also it places you in the shoes of those characters. You go,

okay, now I get it because they're dealing with the same basic struggles that I am, even if the larger struggles are uncommon. So the struggle of Tom Cruise to get enough momentum to be able to eye scan onto the train for long enough with all the poles and stuff moving, it's just really

fun. And they get on the train and it's a cool little high tech lab. Here are old friends, Paula Patton and Benji. Yeah. And he just lets them know this is all that's left, right? This is us. It's us.

This is us. NBC Thursdays. And this is all the equipment we have left. Take what you can. Here's the mission. If you want to come cool, if not, I get it. Right. Right. And everyone like brands, this is all the equipment we have left. Take what you can. Here's the mission. If you want to come, cool. If not, cool. I get it.

Right. And everyone, like, Brandt's nursing some kind of weird, you know, anxiety. Like, he seems weird. Yeah, he's like a kid on a family vacation. Like, at the age where it stopped being cool to hang out with your family.

Benji's all in, Peg's just fun. He's a huge Tom Cruise fan. He wants to be, he wants to be in a Mission Impossible. He's been pushing. He's so proud that he's in the field. Yeah, he's in the field now. And he says that at Tom Cruise fan. He wants to be he wants to be in a Mission Impossible. He's been pushing he's so proud that he's in the field.

Yeah he's in the field. And he says that the Kremlin he's like this is so exciting to be on a mission like this with you you know.

Oh yeah and the Kremlin too where he's like also I'm sorry your wife left you. I didn't know when to mention this. Just so we have that and Cruise just

doesn't respond. Yeah Cruise just sort of looks at him. Yeah. And then Paula Patton is she's nurse and she's sad because Sawyer, and that means anyone could die. Dead hubby.

And also, right, they were married. Right. And this mission's now personal to her. But also, she's just really worried about how the stakes were raised by the death of Josh Holloway. And she's explaining to Tom Cruise how she feels like she fucked that one up. Right. It's her fault. Right.

Yeah. Right. She mishandled the mission, led to his death. And now she's got some skin in the game, emotionally speaking. So now they go to the tallest building in the world. The Burj Khalifa, which had like just been built. Yes. And still is the tallest building in the world, correct?

It is. They are building a building in Saudi Arabia that the Burj Khalhalifa is 2 722 feet long yeah uh too big tall very absurdly tall like when it was built it was far taller than any other building what do you think about it ben it's fucking the best have you been to um dubai three times really wait really times. Really? Wait, really? Of course. Okay. Cool. It's a beautiful city very futuristic and I have not had an opportunity to get into that big old building. Uh-huh.

But it's on my bucket list. Ben does weekend there though. He weekends. He has a timeshare. So the Burj Khalifa. You guys don't have a timeshare? Haven't been to Dubai. So the Burj Khalifa, 2700 better get on a time, sure. Haven't been to Dubai. Dubai? So the Burj Khalifa, 2,700. Better get on it. 2,700 feet high, right?

Yeah. 828 meters. The Jeddah Tower, which is under construction, should be built in the next few years. Okay. It's going to be one kilometer high. Dumb. Too much. Which is 3,280 feet.

So like a lot bigger. Yeah. And they're only building it to be that tall, so it will be a kilometer high. It will be the first kilometer high building. And you know the worst thing is? What? It's a walk bigger. Yeah. And they're only building it to be that tall so it will be a kilometer high. It will be the first kilometer high building. Yeah, and you know the worst thing is? What?

It's a walk-up. It's a walk-up, David. Oh, God. So it's going to be in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia. Yeah. It's going to be tall. Good setting for this kind of movie

because they're in a weird state of like developing very aggressively, but it still is largely a desert. So you have them on the road trying to steer around camels. Sure. And as the camera pulls up,

it's like, oh, here's the biggest fucking building in the world. Here is a rocket ship in the middle of Sand Dunes. Yeah, and also, it's very James Bond-y, which I appreciate. That James Bond thing of

what's a cool new place we can send him that we haven't been before? But the real gag was, what's a thing that Tom Cruise can do that will show everyone what no other movie star is willing to do? Let's hang him off the tallest building in the world. In three, it was,

well, he'll run down this long fucking bridge and we'll shoot a missile and he'll like bounce around. Right. Yeah, it's a fun stunt. But also has like a lot of effects in it. I like that stunt though. I do too

but then this i mean this this is right i saw this in theaters yeah with joseph sims yeah who's just on the pod uh longtime brother years and i've said it i think i've said it on this but this is the last time i like gasped watching a film like theatrically like sure from shock at him jumping in through the window the one that gets me is the first shot the first oh the first shot just where they're like

this is real like he's off the fucking building I mean they get there their weird skeleton crew doesn't really know each other they don't have a lot of equipment but they're like

here's the plan right there's a meeting happening Lea Seydoux is gonna sell the nuclear codes to Cobalt so let's make a couple masks right pretend to be those guys have a meeting. So let's make a couple masks.

Right. Pretend to be those guys. Let's split them up. Have two meetings. We'll be on one side of each meeting. Doesn't that come later as a solution? No. Okay. The solution or the thing that they have to improvise is rather than scramble the codes, which I think they're going to be able to do, is they're going to actually have to do the deal.

They'll give him the real codes. Right. And this is another cool piece of technology. They got the contact lenses. Double blink print. It's so good. And the briefcase is a printer. I just love it. I love it.

Love it. And I like how, you know, shit doesn't work, right? Like the mask machine breaks. Right. But they do still have like enough gadgets to have like Simon Pegg's like third arm contraption. Right. But they're kind of

they're sort of having to jerry rig it you know they're like improvising but they realize that uh the thing they need to do is right they're making it look like there are two of the same hotel rooms so they have to rig the elevator to make it elevator right they have to change the door signs uh and they have to like break into the server room so they can control the elements. Well that's what they realize. At first Benji thinks he can hack it. Can't hack it. Cannot hack it. Well then how do I get inside? Only from the outside. Right.

So it's like so what are we going to do? And he's like what do you mean we? You're Tom Cruise. Right. Go hang out in this fucking building. I believe his exact line is oh I'm on the computer. Yeah. I'm the computer guy. Yeah. And I love a bunch of things i love about the sequence one is that tom cruise rather than being like that's not possible he's just like all right you know like it's like he's being asked to do something

annoying at work and also brad bird sets up the language so clearly of like, here's the glove. Blue is glue. Red is dead. You got to peel it off. It's a slow, remember, just thinking about blue is glue. What's red?

Dead. Anyway, you know, like that's, I love that delivery. It's a slow peeling motion. Slow peel. I roll.

The shot that just destroys me and still works on a home screen, but on IMAX, it is insane. This is IMAX photography. So insane. This is IMAX photography, so suddenly the screen is bigger. The shot, right, the ratio changes.

Right. It's boxy, tall. Yeah. The shot where it starts on Cruz's back now that he's all suited up and then goes like

over his shoulder over to the edge of the building. Right. And you see from over his shoulder all the way down to the ground, everything's in focus. Right. right like infinite depth of field yes is insane yes i don't love heights i wouldn't consider myself to be someone who has like a tremendous fear of heights i have a tremendous fear of heights the fuck out at that shot also and i don't think i've re-watched this movie in a whole maybe since it came out but I watched that sequence at least once a year.

Uh, I've watched, wait, you had not re-watched this movie? I maybe had seen it one time since then. I've seen this movie like a dozen times.

I've seen Rogue Nation like five times. I mean, I've seen Rogue Nation like five times too. I've probably seen this two times, maybe one and a half times

before last night and then re-watched it. Blah. But I watched this sequence all the fucking time. Okay. Because it's so goddamn good. And Brad Bird is so good

at, we've talked about how he's good with scale. Good at showing things are big. Good at showing things are little. But also, a lot of dumb filmmakers would have hung Tom Cruise for real out of the tallest building in the world and shot it and cut it in a way where you didn't

believe it was real. That's true. You can actually mess it up. You can fucking mess it up. Len Wiseman would have fucked it up. Alright God poor Len Wiseman getting thrown under the bus he's like what did I do? But those guys where it's like it's going to look like you shot it in a studio he is always so aware of framing it so. You're going to cut too much. Yeah and

leaving a lot of negative space in the frame so you can see around Tom Cruise how far away everything else is in the frame so you can see around tom cruise how far away everything else is yeah in the distance behind him below him all of that uh it is horrifying and then one of the gloves stops working so he has to throw it off immediately right he has to throw it off stick somewhere i like how it sticks somewhere else yeah the gloves ben ben you like it but what i like and you can talk ben you're a guest he now he's just not talking to me what i like is tom cruise never says the fucking gloves aren't

working right or like shit i have to do something now he's just like he's self-sufficient all right i'll just do something else i guess i'll just sort of hop up on one glove and renner's giving him a countdown clock and that's the one moment he kind of breaks where he's like don't hey don't need that countdown not helping yeah um i i wonder watching this though like i i would have been so terrified as the camera operator on this sequence uh-huh like sure i mean i wouldn't do it right they'd be like do you want to do this and i'd be like no i resign yeah from the film yeah well but I wouldn't do it. Right. They'd be like, do you want to do this? And I'd be like, no, I resign from the film. Well, but Tom agreed to do it.

And it's like, that's Tom Cruise. He's fucking insane. I don't know. He is immortal or something. If I were the camera operator, I would just got a really long stick. And I just would have adjusted everything with a stick. I'd get like a six foot back scratcher. I mean.

And just try to pull focus like that. I refuse to go in a helicopter. Yeah. Like in a helicopter. You hate planes. For any reason. Right. I do that all the time.

I do refuse to do that all the time. Every day. I hate planes, but I'll go in them. But I mean, a helicopter shot is a relatively common film, like big budget film shot. Right. I would refuse to get in a helicopter for for context audiobooks on the uh sixth floor of this building yeah but they don't have an elevator no it's copter up so you have to copter up straight to the the side and then you gotta jump like cruise

going like yeah right yeah you gotta do it yeah uh i i don't know david i mean i think they're gonna eventually maybe install an elevator everyone else seems to like the copter yeah everyone's having a grand seems like a little bit of a waste of uh fuel i don't know have you we'll talk about it one day in full but in the armageddon commentary uh-huh there's a helicopter in the background of one scene and affleck's like see that fucking helicopter two hundred thousand dollars that cost helicopter doesn't do anything no one gets in it no one gets out of it it's just there and i asked michael why do we have the helicopter and he was like shut up cool cool it's so expensive very cool very cool very chill very cool um he finally gets up with the one the one glove

has to break through the glass. Oh, because he drops the thing. He kicks through by himself. Drops the glass cutter, kicks through, gets in, works everything out, but now doesn't know how to get back down. Yeah, they're like, you got to come back down. He's like, and they're like, what? Like, it's his fault.

Right. So he like tethers himself. Yeah. And he runs down. Right. Which is such a cool shot. Yeah. But then, oh, I can't believe it.

Tom Cruise didn't measure correctly the amount of tether he needed. Right. On a snap judgment last second decision. And so now he has to do this like crazy jump in. That moment when. When he's free. They catch him and it's Renner hanging out, grabbing him by the foot. Paul Patton's grabbing

Renner. They all flip back up in and they all just kind of like lie there on the ground catching their breath for a little bit. It's like they're just fucked. And they play the kind of understated like... And it's such a nice moment of like, oh you're actually living with how fucking insane that would be the second

it was done, and then Simon Pegg walks in and he's like, I did not change all the hotel signs. That was not easy. Right. And then Masked Machine is broken, but they still go ahead with it anyway. Can I say how nice their suits are in this sequence? Yeah, they look good.

They look so fucking good. Fashion expert. Yeah, they look good. They look so fucking good. Fashion expert. Nice clothes. Clean, nice presentation. Renner wears a suit very well, actually. He does, very well. He's small too, right? Like he's sort of, maybe not cruise size,

but he's kind of small. Yeah. He's got a little more to him. He's got a little more meat. There's that scene in Mumbai where he takes his jacket off and he starts like getting ready. Yeah. And he looks great. Yeah. Their suits are really well cut in this jacket off and he starts getting ready. Yeah. And he looks great.

Yeah. Their suits are really well cut in this. He's got a great butt. Yeah. And also, Cruise, his suit has a little shine to it. Yeah. It's a little shiny. That's the kind of thing where you're like, is that going to age poorly?

Is that so of the moment? Here we are. We're like fucking years out from it. Two Mission Impossible films ago. Suit still looks immaculate. Looks perfect. cool no he looks good and uh i like this this scene's very bondy where it's like yes they have a confidence game little gadgets but right they they also just have to perform right and when they walk in like someone on the mic is like wait what if they've met before and they're like i don't know we'll figure it out yeah and then there's that moment where they're like which one of you is blah and he

she echoes the line downstairs yeah like one of them's you know which one that's cool that paul is going off right like which one of you is hendrix yeah uh love it who are your guys who are your guys yeah exactly um and they should have locked the window on this one jesus christ david we don't have time for jokes like this okay we have to talk about the movie at hand uh-huh um they seem to be pulling it off without a hitch seven peg does this cool little hand monty oh yeah and then boom lace to do notices renner renner's the also he's the sweatiest. Yes. You see him fucking up. He's a little too nervous with the blinking.

He's a little too nervous. He's not quite an A-lister yet. And she notices the contact lens. I love it. Love to tap that foot. I like that Rachel isn't taking any shit. No, she is keeping us in line. None of our bullshit. Rachel just rolls his eyes.

I've been doing this with them like this is I don't even know three years now three years but like episode 160 yeah we should actually figure out what number it is

we're the kids that he's given up trying to rear yeah exactly they just have bad habits no but I love it and honestly it's making the record better

I'm very fidgety as a person and pointing out those things I've done it I've done it so much. We don't listen though. We don't respect that. Nope. And then he eats a bagel and it gets crumbs everywhere and I'm just like that's what it's gonna be.

That's what it's gonna be. To be fair I don't do as much of that shit. You asked for a bagel twist today. I did. I was hungry. And it was good right? Yeah. Twisty. You can taste the cheddar. Yeah. Definitely. The white cheddar. Oh sorry. Yeah. Excuse me. You're excused. All right, Ben, I know this is weird, but I want to talk to you about sleeping.

Okay. You know how you sleep in a bed? Yes. Bed needs sheets. That's true. Sleep in bed. Bed needs sheets. Yeah.

I don't, I've never, I've literally never felt evangelical about sheets in my entire life. But we have friends at the show, brooklinen.com. Okay. They give you a very comfortable sheets with no markup. They were founded by a husband and wife team that wanted to make, you know, nice sheets with no crazy prices.

I, so I'm a host of the show. They, they provide the hosts with free sheets, like, you know, so we can try it out and use the sheets and the show. They, they provide the hosts with free sheets, like, you know, so we can try it out and use the sheets and endorse them. And,

um, I literally will spend time in my bed to just to be in the sheets. That's not for sleeping. Like maybe I have some work to do, like should be doing it at a desk. No, I want to, I want to like get in the sheets,

really like get in bed and do my work that's that's really that sounds really nice i got the lux brand they got like a bunch of different kinds yeah i'm a lux guy i'm a taurus um and it's like one of those things where you're like at the bed bathing me on you're like oh like, like, you know, how much, how much better is like more thread? It's so fricking soft. I, I know this sounds like corny, but like I genuinely enjoy getting into bed in a way that I did not before. This is a very genuine endorsement of this product. I want, I want them to sponsor us more and not like they're going to give us more sheets.

Right. Well, as someone who is a insomniac, you got someoklyn ends i did not oh okay i'm sorry that's okay but i don't mean to rub it in no you should get some i think what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna maybe invest because i have such so much trouble sleeping uh-huh that i think like maybe this will help with my sleep it makes you happy to go to bed all right so now it has helped with my sleep ritual. It makes you happy to go to bed. All right, so now- It has helped with my sleep ritual. I know this sounds corny. It has genuinely helped with my sleep ritual. Oh, I believe it. All right, so I'm going to use this offer

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So, now the fucking gloves are off, Laysa Dew is kicking ass, and there's a great shot of Paula Patton just taking off her heels and running off to take care of business. That's just good, right? Yeah. Two Mission Impossible movies in a row where before

the female member has to do something crazy, she removes her high heels. Yes. Good point. The anti-Colin Trevorrow, we call that move. Patton's so fun. Yeah. There's a move. Kicks her out a window. There are a lot of gestures in this movie I think about

a lot. I don't quote lines from this film but I quote poses. There's some fun dancing going on outside the auto-boom window. Paula Patton, when she's fighting Lea Seydoux, does this pose where one fist is, like, all the way here. Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. When she's, like, trying to fend off Lea Seydoux and one fist is, like, all the way here.

Yeah, but Rachel wants you to lean into the mic. I'm leaning in, but I was trying to do the impression of the fist. Okay. Mom. Woo! Yes. Jeez. Yes, I know the pose you're referencing.

Right. Good pose. Yes. They end up kicking her out a window. Yeah, they do. Tom Cruise is not happy about it. Rip. You let your emotions get the better of you.

Yes, he thinks that she kicked her out the window because she's mad about her husband which is true but i also think it's like that that lady is scary he also wasn't there in that moment he's gonna kill them she had a wine opener right she had like a wine bottle opener she was flipping out yeah and guess what not our fault that we had to open a whole window so you could run the fucking side of the building to get the marketing hook you need for your poster good Good point. Good point. Just to like,

because now at this point the movie does slow down slightly. I mean now there's There's one more great scene. Well, there's the car chase right after this. The sandstorm. Yeah, the sandstorm car chase.

Which they set up when he's on the building. I just like, that's like, we know we're on this set piece right here but we just want to let you know what the next set piece

on the horizon is. Oh, it's a sandstorm but that's a while away. That won't be issue it's at least 10 12 minutes away right and then you got the car chase where he's following the paper the radioactive paper yeah and uh i mean the best part of this is just the stunt of the car like flipping over him right yeah like that's i just love that i just love the audacity of being like we're going to do a big like car slash foot chase where the gimmick is that you can't see what's happening. Right. Where he can't see and you can't

see. You know? Agreed. He's got a scarf, shiny suit's getting a little dusty, pulls off the mask, realizes it's Nykvist. Right. Yes. Was pretending to be his henchman. Now this is where I think the movie peaks. Well, this is

what I was going to say literally we had the prison we had you know the train sequence the prison the um kremlin this right it's all just like gangbusters absolutely no pausing finally the movie has to pause and we're like an hour and 40 and now it sets up the character dynamics right and then it's like tom cruise is like well what do we do now also jeremy Jeremy Renner, you're an analyst? Come on. They finally have to bug each other. Renner does some cool gun posing.

And he's like, how did an analyst know that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then cards are flipped over. Renner pulls the gun. Cruise pulls the gun. Renner pulls it back. Right. Like all in one little like.

Renner was a field agent he was supposed to look after uh an agent and his wife he lost the wife it was tom cruise what a twist right what a bagel twist uh cheddar clearly a fix to justify why renner was i keep saying silly things i'm trying to lure ben back to the microphone he's just leaning back just taking it easy but it is brought in so late as a character wrinkle. I know, but I love it. I think it's good.

I think it's good. But that's where the sort of last minute scrambling nature of the script's construction shows for me. Because to me, it's just like,

that's the mystery of the movie. You drop them, you solve the mystery at the start of the third act. It's like, what's the deal with Renner? And then they're finally like,

this is the deal with Renner. Also, this is kind's the deal with Renner? And then they're finally like, this is the deal with Renner. Also, this is kind of the deal with Tom Cruise. Because people are sort of like, I thought he got married in Mission Impossible 3. Why was he willingly in a jail? Is the explanation literally just his wife left him? Like, that's all we're going to do after all that shoe leather in 3? Well, no. You know the explanation.

What? There can only be one female character per movie. I mean, it's ridiculous well no it does bum me out so hard that Patton isn't in Rogue Nation I don't know why

I think she should just be on the fucking team bums me out yeah I hate it I hate it I hate it

three has Keri Russell Maggie Q and Michelle Monaghan but none of them really dominate it's sort of like Keri Russell dies

very early on yeah but she's really good agreed Maggie Q's on the team the whole time doesn't have a lot to do. Michelle Monaghan is...

Is the wife. Is the wife. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it does... Yes. It sucks that that's the most. That one sort of spreads.

Yeah. Right. And one has Kristen Scott Thomas and Emmanuel Bear. Yeah. Emmanuel Bear. Bear. Emmanuel Bear. Two has Danny Newton.

But the two has less team stuff. Yeah. Two is a solo mission. He has no team. It's also the only bad movie in this franchise. Yeah, but it's kind of the best sort of bad movie. It's okay. It just has a lot less action.

Yeah. And the non-action stuff sucks. I loved it at the time because it was like the first quote unquote grown up action movie I was allowed to see. You sound like a fucking idiot. Okay. Blame my mom. Blame my fucking mom, David.

For taking you to see it? No, for not taking me to see earlier films that I would have enjoyed more and provided me a greater context for what the bar was. So final mission, we're going to go to Mumbai. Yeah. We're going to intercept him because he needs a satellite to launch his nuke

we're gonna get that satellite I kind of get checked out of the movie at this point well I kind of check you out whatever you like what you see? I check you out and I see a dunce a dunce? well this did not go how I planned it

I thought he was gonna compliment me checking me out how's raya going well please i can't talk about this first rule of raya you can't talk about is it really does it say that when you load the app no you're just you're not allowed to screen grab that oh yeah i may or may not have finally been accepted onto an exclusive dating app here's my famous here's my question yes you have a second phone take a picture of your screen with the with the second phone great question so i asked my manager about this recently i did really and she said she thinks they might be utilizing a technology that she knows has been used for like top secret scripts uh-huh where they're like hey here's an

audition for this thing it's fucking deadpool 7 sure secret sides don't photograph this one he doesn't know he's in a movie right she had a client what he forgot that's a twist you're ruining this for fucking everybody uh-huh secret sides that's five deadpools from now secret sides and like your name is watermarked into the client who has sent secret sides and it was like you can't download them, you can't print them, you can view them on one device. And he wanted to save them in some kind of way

so he tried to use a different phone to take a picture of that phone and the app recognized That's crazy. And like blacked out. What? And was like no no no no no no excuse me. So she was like i wouldn't be surprised if that's what it is because i've gotten so many fucking raya profiles that i want to send

you specifically no kidding i've been telling you sort of like lovingly describe them to me in text form but the thing with raya and i say this while making it very unclear whether or not i am a member who knows it's a great mystery like, whether or not Deadpool knows he's in a movie. Yeah. But if I were on this platform, I would maybe perceive that the profiles are like slideshows where you pick a song and then animate a bunch of photos to it. So it's really funny to see how some of these famous things

can define themselves through musical montage. Let me guess. Mostly Coldplay. A lot of talking heads. Because you have to remember it's famous, so it's kind of artsy. Oh, really?

Yeah. Interesting. Okay. Yeah. Anyway, I'm never going to date anyone for the rest of time. So they go to Dubai. Yep.

And they meet Anil Kapoor. Who is a gigantic Bollywood star. He offers them 10,000 rupees. Slumdog millionaire. He had just been in Slumdog. That was right.

That's partly why he's being cast I'm guessing and also just for like international appeals. This is when Hollywood is starting to go like oh we need to load our supporting cast

with as many international box office stars as possible so we can play well in all territories. He's also kind of the hot guy at that moment a little bit i mean he's very very famous in bollywood and that was the post slumdog run when a movie with no name actors becomes that big everyone's like okay wait which one's the movie star yeah were they like frida pinto six movies yeah you don't like it yeah it took a weird time for them to realize no it's

obviously dev patel the lead of your movie. The charismatic lead of the movie. Right. It took them about 12 years to figure that one out. So this is, we've already had death defying stunts. Yes. We've had prison break, right?

We've had a spy mission. And this is like another classic Bondy thing. A briefcase. Well, no, but also like the party. The seduction. The seduction. Right. And Paula Patton is not able to

keep her cool, which then ends up being an asset because she realizes that... I enjoy that. You know what I mean? It's a better version of the Kingsman thing. Like in Kingsman where he's like, oh no, I have to seduce someone. Let me go call my girlfriend. Where she's just like, he's so repulsive that she cannot

keep character entirely but somehow that works for him he's kind of like wow right he wants to he wants to get domed um down to red oh he wants to get down that um i yeah i think all this stuff is kind of fun but i also just feel like the ears out of balloon i mean it's like the the building is so fucking good yeah you know and because this movie doesn't have like a real tangible threat a villain that's kind of neither here nor there a plot you don't really care about once we've gotten the biggest set piece out of the way i just feel a little bit like okay now it's like the sense of inevitability i think the parking uh structure thing is fun i think it's great i just don't care about nyquist that much at this point but the there's a nuke yeah literally

fires i've said it great briefcase said it before i'll say it again i also briefcase i just like that the final stunt is not trying to top they've already had their best yes but is just crews driving a car vertically down but i also love the renner thing yes i love how this movie be it intentional or not like intentional or last minute fix uh-huh realizes what renner is which is the guy who's like oh this is crazy i don't want to do this and he also has to do essentially the classic tom cruise stunt he essentially has to replicate the Mission Impossible one. A little bit, right.

The sort of your hands or your spread eagle. Right. Being lowered into the room thing, but he does it without cool. Well, that's the thing. He's like to Simon Pegg. He's like, if Simon Pegg pitched this to Cruise, Cruise would be like, great, where's my metal shirt? Right.

Whereas like Benji's like, yeah, I'm going to pilot you through magnetically. I have to wear this under this? Huh? That's insane. Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about? There is no way that we're going to do that. No. It's a no.

And Benji's like, no, no. It's a yes. Also, it's going to be really, really hot. Did I mention that? And I catch you. I catch you. And I love the final thing where the little rover explodes. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they got a nice little...

He dodges all the metal. Rover robot. They also... There's the whole business... With... Renner doesn't have kind of the instincts, so they're all telling him to jump. He has no one to jump. Yeah. He jumps, and they freak out that he jumped. Okay. I don't know. Funny business.

Yeah. But, I mean, pretty quickly, Cruz chases down Nyquist sure i mean he is just a guy right and like this just wants to launch the nuke and he does goes to a parking structure yeah that's just throws himself off of it really cool cruise drives down i mean we're not gonna talk about it's cool it's all these different levels rising and falling it's also like kind of a cool building like Like I think they just keep picking cool structures to fuck around in and that is like some sort

of famous piece of architecture that parking lot. It is like something like The Incredibles where he designs that whole world so well where all of the architecture across the entire universe of that film has such a unifying aesthetic. He somehow finds real

structures that feel Brad Bird-y. Yes, and somewhat science fiction-y. Yeah, which is really cool. And then what's the last thing that happens in the parking structure? Our old friend the detective comes back. He's like, Tom Cruise, I've got you! And I'm here to tell you that you're great!

He sees that Tom Cruise's finger is on the button that just stopped the warhead. Mission accomplished! Yeah. I like that also that the warhead. Mission accomplished. Yeah. I like the, also that like the warhead like clips the building. Uh, yes. I like the clips to the trans America building. Yeah.

Kevin Zegers, trans America. That's why he got so close. Can you go to Wikipedia and look up who the third guy was? It was, uh, do you think it'll be on Wikipedia? I think so.

In development. Anthony Macie, Kevin Zegers, and one other guy were the three contenders. Anyway, mission accomplished, and then it cuts to our old buddy. You thought he was going to be missing for one of them. Nope. No, no, no, no, no. Ving vong.

Ving vong, ving vong. You're wagging your finger, but he actually pulls the old pull your hand out of your pocket and give the other finger. Ving vong. Ving Vong, Ving Vong. Ben, you're wagging your finger, but he actually pulls the old, pull your hand out of your pocket and give the other finger. Ving Vong. It's living his body. Who's at the door? Ving Vong. Ving rhymes.

Yeah, he comes here, he gives Jack Lemmon his Golden Globe. That's the scene. Have I told you? Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to give this Golden Globe to Jack Lemmon. Have I told you? I saw that at such a formative age that anytime I was unhappy with someone

winning an award, I'd be like... I wanted Michael Caine to do it with Haley Gillespie. Anthony Mackie, Kevin Zegers, Tom Hardy, Christopher Pine,

and Christopher Egan Who's that? Who the fuck is that? I don't He played Charlie in Letters to Juliet What? I don't know

He was in Kings I kind of vaguely remember this guy Oh yeah He was a real whitey He was a real whitey Dude Yeah Yeah

He's a guy with a face Sure He's a guy with a face He's a guy with a face I mean He's a guy He's got body He's got face

He's got shoulders He can talk He's got bad the wifi He's got shoulders a guy with a face. I mean. He's a guy who's got a body. He's got a face. He's got shoulders. He can talk. He's got bad the Wi-Fi. He's got shoulders. He can walk. He can talk. I don't know. He's barely got a face.

He's got a face. Rachel, weigh in. No. Rachel hates him. Not into it. Jesus Christ. Dominion. I mean, I don't know.

Maybe he's letting himself go. Okay. So, Fing Reigns and Tom Cruise just drinking some brewskis. And then the rest of the crew shows up. They're like, hey, we just finished at Dave & Buster's. We ran out the rest of our game card. Like, it's like we're all together as a group. Right.

They show up together, and Tom Cruise is like, I gotta say, you know, this is a good team we got here. Surprised, wasn't my usual guys. Yeah, but fun times. Right. Let's do this again sometime. Hands a bunch of cell phones. Here's the mission if you choose to accept it. No, he says, here are Surprised. Wasn't my usual guys. Yeah, but fun time. Right. Let's do this again sometime. Hands a bunch of cell phones. Here's the mission

if you choose to accept it. No, he says, here are your missions. Choose to accept them. Oh, yeah, which is great. Which is great. Right. But he's kind of warm here.

He's actually... He's very nice. I'll say the way they blow his hair out in this final sequence, he looks a lot like Tig Notaro. Yes. Tig Notaro jokes about

looking like Tom Cruise. Yes. This is the moment in Tom Cruise's filmography where he looks the most like Tig Notaro. For Notaro jokes about looking like Tom Cruise. This is the moment in Tom Cruise's filmography where he looks the most like Tig Notaro. For sure. They give it the exact same kind of flip in the back. And everyone else leaves except for Renner.

Ving Rhames sticks him with a bill but flashes him a bird. And then Renner's like, look, I gotta level with you. And Cruise is like, yeah, yeah. That was all made up. Don't worry about it. Yeah.

My wife's right over there. Yeah. Right. I timed all of this. Oh, yeah, because Ving Rhames is upset because he's now going to have to spend, like, what did he say, five days at the bottom of the river. Yeah, he's going to have to go get a nuclear bomb. Right, from the bottom.

From the bay. Yeah. Yeah. But, oh, what perfect coin-kidink. Here is Michelle Monaghan getting off a ferry. Um, she's still alive. Tom Cruise had to fake his own death. Right.

Fake her death in order to keep her safe. Yeah. And then he disappears like a ghost in the night. A g-g-g-ghost. The real ghost movie had no ghosts. No ghosts. That's true. But until the end.

That's the twist. F ghosts. That's true. What until the end? That's the twist. Fog. Disappear. What if that was the twist where they're like someone finally kills him and he's like you can't kill me.

I'm already dead. I've been a ghost the whole time. What if the end of the movie was Tom Cruise on the pier flips up his hoodie which is a very cool hoodie. Good hoodie.

Good flip. Right. He's so good at the flipping. Disappears into the fog, and then the camera slowly pans over to a graveyard where it says, Ethan Hunt, 1951 to 2009? That would be great.

Yeah. We did it. We did it. That's the end of the movie. We did it. I'm just looking at the trivia. Oh, Ruben Fleischer and Edgar Wright were the other considered directors. Right.

Oh, zombie Lance. That's a real bullet. So weird. I have something maybe like, I don't know if we want to do box office game. I just, I worked out a little thing. Ben's been leaving a lot of notes. Do you want me to? We're going to do the box office game, but go ahead.

Griff, so could you read these pitches for me? Yeah, I'm just going to read these pitches. Read what it is. Okay. So I'm going to pitch these for Ben, because Ben, you know, is a little shy. Of course. This is SNL Mission Impossible pitches.

You ready? So these are pitches for SNL. This would be to do a sketch? Yeah. Okay, I'm just going to read it as is with no commentary. Okay. Mission, more reasonable. Sure, just like a pretty normal kind of like chill. Okay. Mission, more reasonable. Sure.

Just like a pretty normal kind of like chill. Like what would that be like getting groceries? Yes. Yeah. Sure. That's a good mission. But it's like crowded. Getting groceries, but like, yeah, like on a Sunday afternoon.

Totally. Exactly. Supermarkets are going to be busy. Whole foods are going to be packed. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Right. Nice one. Nice one. And you're like, I need the groceries. like supermarkets gonna be busy whole foods gonna be packed yeah exactly yeah right nice one

nice one and you're like but I need the groceries you do yeah I forgot to mention every one of these pitches has an exclamation point

at the end of it okay so does the header of SNL mission impossible pitches okay so mission more reasonable second one mission enough already

oh wow I mean come come on. Editorializing. Mission, geez louise. Mission, you can't believe this stuff. Mission, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's insane.

What? That's pretty close to impossible, but it's just like a little less. Here's the last pitch. Mission, are you? But that's not. Wait, what? You can't do that. Damn. It's a cold read. Mission, are you? But that's not, wait, what? You can't do that. Damn! It's a cold read right there.

Maybe you can! And if I can read the rest of these notes, he wrote, no ghosts? Question mark, question mark, question mark. He also wrote, Zyger report? I guess we'll do a new segment where we report on whether or not Kevin Zyger

is in the film. You're asking for the report in. So I was going to say, tie it into the fact that we're playing burger. Kevin Zyger eat a burger. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And then he also circled resident evil five times.

Yes, you got it. You got one for each entry in the franchise. Thank you. That's great. Griffin. Anytime. So that's mission possible.

Ghost protocol. It's a great movie. So much. Now here. That was great, Griffin. Anytime. So that's Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. It's a great movie that I love so much. Now, here's what's tricky. It came out in limited release its first weekend. They released it only on IMAX screens the first weekend. That is true. Which kind of helped it because it sold out its first weekend. It's true. Word of mouth was bigger

when it went live. It was a weird gambit that worked. So the question is, which weekend do we cover? I have... Well, it's up to you. It's relatively similar. It's just that Ghost Protocol is not number one. Let's do the wide weekend. Okay, the wide weekend, which is Christmas weekend 2011.

You're the Lord. Right, exactly. So Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol goes wide and it has... I'm the Lord that Ricky Gervais doesn't believe in. Go on. It has now grossed $76 million. I know. Not bad. Ends up being second highest grossing in the franchise.

209 domestic. 700 worldwide. Good number for Tommy. Real bounce back for him. Number two is a sequel to a movie that was a big hit at Christmas a couple years ago. Oh, right. This is two hits of Christmas past that had previously opened on the same Christmas. Right.

Two years prior. Okay. So I think number two is Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows. That's right. And number three is Alvin the Chipmunk's The Squeakquel. No, it's the third one. It is Chipwreck. That's right. Well done. Thank you. Okay, so that's the

top three. I have not seen Chipwrecked. That's the one on a boat, correct? Yeah, I haven't seen that one either. Great. I only see the Becker Chipmunks. I will say Game of Shadows, I watched the last like 20 minutes on TV and enjoyed it more than any of the first Sherlock Holmes

just because Jared Harris fucking kills it. I'm realizing we did this weekend before, but anyway. I was trying to remember if we had done this weekend or the previous weekend where it was in limited. It might have been. I can't, I don't fucking know. No, we did this weekend.

This is the weekend they're debuting. So then should we do the limited weekend? I don't know know. No, we did this weekend. This is the weekend they're debuting. So then should we do the limited weekend? I don't know what to tell you. Well, but you don't remember what number four is. You haven't given me any clues. It's an adaptation of a novel, and it's absolutely crazy that this was released at Christmas. Oh, Girl with the Dragon Tattoo.

Yeah. So then why did we cover this before? Because number five is a film we've talked about before from the year 2011 yes is it we bought a zoo no that's number six really yes number seven is also a movie we've just talked about before number seven that's right and they're all new this week big weekend big weekend, wait. So what's the one I still need to get? Number five. Yep. Animated film.

Animated picture. Fully animated. Fully animated, but motion capture? Oh. Zemeckis is a Christmas story? Huh? Zemeckis is a Christmas story? Christmas Carol, I'm assuming you're saying. Yeah, I'm sorry.

Was it Zemeckis is a Christmas story though no okay it's neither of those right it's not the movie you mentioned or the fake movie you just made up happy feet 2 no because there's some controversy with those happy feet movies no how much they're milk yeah but it's not that I'm just defending my guess or people tell me I'm dumb. Which I am. You love this movie. I love this movie. Oh, oh, oh. It is my dear friend. The reason we discussed this weekend before the box office.

His name is Tintin. Tintin. The Adventures of Tintin. And so what's at number seven? So number seven is War Horse. Spielberg had two movies in the same weekend. So then wait. Let's quickly, because we knocked this out.

Yeah, that's fine. Weekend before, where Mission Impossible opens limited. Oh yeah, let's do more. Yeah, let's do more. Let's do more stuff. Yeah, let's do more stuff.

The weekend before is Sherlock Holmes and Alvin are numbers one and two. Okay. Mission Impossible's number three. How much? Limited.

It made $13 million on 400 screens. That's really cool. I realize I just had him read SNL pitches. Yes, exactly. No, it's fine. Lauren is a big fan of the show.

That's right. Yeah. What if he was? What if we had him on? What do you think we'd talk about? Not bad. Who do you think his guys are? His guys?

Chevy, Jim, Dan, Billy, Gilda. Absolutely outrageous. We're going to sit next to each other every time. Yeah that's a good idea this is great uh number four is uh an anthology film anthology film uh sort of you know what i mean like i mean it's one film it's not like a paris jetame you know it's like a movie with lots of different a big ensemble ensemble. Sort of Altman-esque, except without the quality. It was number one the previous week. It dropped like a rock to number four. Dropped like a rock to number four.

Is it called New Year's Eve? That's right. Saw it with past guest and future guest, Bobby Finger. And did you have a good time? We saw it at midnight. I was drunk. Okay. Raise your glass. Was Bobby drunk? Yes. Okay. Bobby Finger. And you have a good time. We saw it at midnight. I was drunk. Okay. Raise your glass.

Was Bobby drunk? Yes. Okay. On excitement. Number five is a comedy that exists. Interesting. Okay, so it doesn't.

So the clue there is that it doesn't exist. No, it does not. And also, I think it was like, it was coming out like significantly after it had been filmed.

Interesting. Like filmed. Interesting. Like years. Interesting. It starred like a comedy name. The premise was, what if he had this specific job? Jesus, I'm so good. Which he seems ill-suited for. Someone who's ill-suited to a job.

Those are my favorite kind of comedies. I know. This might be the next Ben's choice. Is it a big comedy movie star? I'd say medium. Medium comedy movie star. Where are we in his arc? But now he's

back. He bounces back shortly after but with a whole new look. Correct. Bounces back with a whole new look? Yeah, he kind of rebrands a little bit got it gets a new look does like a little more of like an action comedy for his next movie weird out without the glasses yeah that's what it is right it's weird out without the glasses you're right you nailed it he bounces back with an action comedy yeah he's ill-suited for this job yeah it had

been shot a while earlier. Been shot ages earlier. In fact, it had been shot so long ago, I think his action comedy had already come out and recovered his reputation. Weird. Yeah. He's a straight comedian. No, I'm wrong.

It comes out the next year. He's a straight comedian? Straight comedian? Straight comedian. I'm saying, does he come from a purely comedic background? He makes comedy movies. He's not a stand-up. Not a stand-up? No. Sketch comedian was there no i don't think so he's from the apatow stable fuck it's an apatow guy who's bad at his job well in this movie i mean i actually haven't seen the

movie maybe he's good at his job but the pitch of the movie's poster is like that guy in that job? I don't know. What movie is this? It sounds so funny. I don't think it is. No, it sounds really funny. It was like a flop. It sounds really funny, David. I'm laughing. Okay, it's an Apatow guy.

This is taking four hours. How is this taking so long? It's not a Rogan. No, but you know, you're in the right wheelhouse. Right. Oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh he's disappointed now that he remembers what it is this movie fucking sucks have you seen it i've seen it i own it on dvd it was a trivia prize it's the sitter it's the sitter with jonah hill uh you

want a fun trivia fact he's a babysitter that guy jonah hill but he's like a big galoot. I think he might be bad. You want a fun trivia fact? Sure. One of the final three candidates to play the daughter in that film? Griffin Newman? Romley Newman. Really? Yeah.

So all of you guys had your shot. That's one way of putting it. I'm just saying. You all were out there. No, Romley doesn't really act, but she's very good at being on camera and talking about food. Sure. Is that what that character is? No, but my agents sometimes would throw stuff if they needed a precocious child.

They're throwing it at you? They literally threw it at her head. Wow. But I remember taking Romley to her callback to meet with David Gordon Green. I had to pick her up from school. She was still young. She must have been like 12 or 13, right? I mean, this is 2010.

Yeah, I picked her up from school. Except leaving earlier because that movie was old. Yeah, she must have been like 10 years old. So that's a great way to end our Ghost Protocol episode. Yeah, you know who ended up getting it? Who? If I'm not mistaken. Jennifer Lawrence.

Maybe it was the other girl who didn't get it. Teresa Gadis, is that her name? The real housewife who went to jail? Her daughter. Those were the three people in the room where that woman's daughter, Romley, and I think the girl who ultimately got it. Well, apparently Jonah Hill,

Ari Greiner's in this movie, Rockwell is in it. I had no idea. Is he good? Yeah. Max Records is in it. He'swell is in it yeah i had no idea is he good yeah they yeah max records is in it the weird where the wild things kid he's very good at jb smooth is in it apparently method man is in it yes what is this movie it's bad okay and i remember reading the script we wouldn't let romley read the script because it was so inappropriate and i was like this script's fucking amazing like on paper it was so funny and then you watch it and you're like oh no you don't want to see people do these things uh-huh it's like a perfect like spec script to put someone on the map to be like

oh what a good like sample of their writing and then the second it's on screen they're real kids in those situations you're like i hate this this makes me uncomfortable sure romley and i saw we had a miserable time but she had to admit that the girl was very good interesting romley's very competitive with anyone who is within five years of her age in any field. She gets like she can't watch the Olympics because she gets jealous of like kicking ass. Yeah. I'm all about Chloe Kim.

I'm all in on her. Topical. Now you know when we're recording this episode. Yep. Ladies and gentlemen thank you so much for listening. Ben is holding up his fist. Ben you did a great job. Victory. Rachel, thank you for being with us. Rachel has just handed in her two weeks notice. It's her first and last

day at Audioboom. And there she goes. There she goes. She is running. Where do you think we lost her? She's trying to catch that last helicopter down. I think it was probably, I don't know, maybe an hour and a half in. The fourth time she had to physically walk over and push my mic up. So we're fun, cool guys, and everyone half in. Yeah. The fourth time she had to physically walk over

and push my mic up. Yep. So we're fun, cool guys, and everyone likes us. Very professional. Good at our jobs. Thank you to Ant Fraguto for social media, someone who's actually good at her job.

She rules. Lee Montgomery for a theme song, someone who's actually good at his job. Joe Bone and Pat Reynolds for the artwork, actually good at their jobs. Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit.

And as always, I don't know if you guys know this. What's up? What's up, Rip? Jon Voight looks like the Hall of President's robot. Oh, shit. Yo, and hey.

What? On the low? Yeah, please. You know who's an atheist? Who? Ricky Gervais. Oh, my God. Wait a second. Yeah, shit. Yo, and hey. What? On the low? Yeah, please. You know who's an atheist? Who? Ricky Gervais. Oh, my God. Wait a second.

Yeah, seriously. Rachel, cut the mics. What's up? Tom Cruise is really good at taking off clothes. Dude, he's really good. And put them back on, too. I love that. I love it, too.

You want a small bagel to us? Yeah. Yeah, cool. These are good. It's really good right Yeah Even good cold Do we have an out

I don't know Maybe we just chew out I think chew our way out Alright bye This is like What's the slowest fade out We can have on this This right now

Right now Yeah Right now it's fading But it's still going on I mean you can hear it's pink But it's fading, but it's still going on. I mean, you can hear it's pink, but it's still definitely. What about Light Bright? What if I made a Light Bright movie?

What is Light Bright again? Is that like the Etch-A-Sketch, but it's lights? It's like a, it's almost like a battleship board where it's with pegs, but the pegs are translucent and the board lights up so you can draw with lights. You know what I'm saying? I remember those commercials. There's a three-act structure to that, right? What should the headline on my early man review be? Have you seen it? How is it?

Cute. Gentleman Six. Should you be recording all this? Good. Perfect. Put it all at the end. Alright. Come on, Griff. What's your line? end. All right. All right. All right. Come on, Griff.

What's your, what's your line? Well, I got to look it up. I was looking up Hasbro property. These guys are the definition of meandering. Yeah. We're a pain in the ass. That's what we're a definition of. Tights episode of all time. We're a definition of, uh, this is a tight movie, I guess.

So, uh. Yeah. So get ready for a loose episode.