Blank Check with Griffin & David - Mixed Nuts with Charles Rogers

Episode Date: June 28, 2020

The friends are joined by Search Party director Charles Rogers to discuss this mixed bag of mixed messages of a Christmas movie that shows maybe Norah Ephron can't do black comedies. Don't worry if you haven't seen it, because this is mostly an extensive discussion about Steve Martin's career, Liev Schreiber being great in drag, and the Sondheim musical Assassins. Check out  Search Party Season 3 on HBO Max, RIGHT NOW! For the month of June we will be spotlighting groups dedicated to and run by Black trans and non-binary people who need our help. This week's organization is: The Marsha P. Johnson Institute marshap.org/donate/ twitter.com/MPJInstitute

Hey folks, because this episode is dropping on the 51st anniversary of Stonewall, this week we want to tell you about the Marsha P. Johnson Institute. We wouldn't be celebrating pride without Marsha P. Johnson or the Stonewall Riots. The Marsha P. Johnson Institute was founded as a black trans-led organization that protects and defends the human rights of black transgender people. They most recently created a national relief fund for black trans people impacted by COVID. Please visit marshap.org to learn more and donate if you are in a position to do so. You can find links in the episode description and on our social accounts at Blank Check Pod

for more information. Thank you and enjoy this very silly episode. Blank Check with Griffin and David Blank Check with Griffin and David Don't know what to say or to expect. All you need to know is that the name of the show is blank check. Just remember that in every podcast, there is hope. Well, you see, I mean, podcast is spelled P-O-D-C-A-S-T.

So if you take the P and you add it to the h and the o and the e and rearrange the letters or contrarize you remove the o and the t and the l you get hope so just remember in every podcast there is hope that's the old english spelling of podcast yes it's not true right it's just fundamentally not true it's funny i thought it was funny right it's funny i can hear off in the distance people rolling in laughter knees being slapped remembers the ribs being tickled everyone remembers the line um from mix nuts mix nuts mix you gotta mix them up baby these nuts aren't organized like what line what do you mean what are you talking about i thought like i i thought we were talking about nuts right what you thought we were talking about a bag of nuts yeah what do you i thought we were

reviewing cashews brazil nuts and why would we do that because this is a podcast about i just want to say that before we started recording i asked ben if he'd seen this movie and he said he had a bit and i guess that was the bit well let me listen and i'm confused i'm confused this is a no-bits podcast i've got a bit and i was like okay that was my reaction to that and uh it's my reaction to this the podcast is not about legumes it's about filmographies what are those filmographies no legumes the nuts adjacent it's a larger categorization oh okay directors who have massive success early on in their careers and are given a series of blank checks, make whatever crazy passion products they want.

Sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they commit suicide. Maybe. Sure. Steven Wright. Not the main light of a thing that this movie makes light of constantly. This is a main series. That's Steven Wright.

That is Steven Wright. Yeah, yeah, right. A lot of very interesting people popping up for one scene in this movie 100% it's a main series on the films of Nora Ephron

we're recording this episode first this one's a little early because of a specific guest our guest who can talk at any point that he wants I felt I wasn't supposed to no you have to

I really wanted to you really need to but let's say this and I'm not going to introduce you yet but let's just say this we're recording this on the last day you's say this, and I'm not going to introduce you yet, but let's just say this. We're recording this on the last day you're in New York. Yeah, I'm very hungover.

I might throw up at any point during this podcast. That's happening. You're a busy man. This was the one day we could get you. I'm going to throw up. Into the mic. Anyway, not introduced yet.

Sorry, I'll go back to not talking. No, it's not a problem. I want you to weigh in on this, okay? Because this is the first one we're doing out of order in the Nora Ephron filmography. Always name a miniseries after a butchering of one of the film titles

that that person made. David thinks this miniseries should be called You've Got Podcast. Hell yeah. I like that too. Me too. That's cute. Now here's my alternate pitch. But you have to say it like you've got a podcast this is the thing my god my pitch i think only works with the line reading and it's a slight

variation but this is what i think the main series what he's about to say by the way just to set this up is offensive and horrible ready i'm ready i'm scared yeah the thing about shoes is no. Okay. The thing, my mini series title suggestion is you've podcast. Oh no, I don't like it. It's horrible. Every chance I could. And I set it up. I thought really beautifully with a lot of generosity. Okay. Thank you. No, it's called you've got podcast. I guess it's just funny to think of someone being like you've got podcast yeah yeah and one idea was wonderful and then the other idea was i liked

sound kind of similar yeah but when you just break up pod and cast and don't put anything in between them i think it just sort of it's like a little too i think graphically it would work but also you can't spell pothole without it'd be beautiful it would be beautiful to see it would look great so make your fan art some things are too beautiful for this world like mix nuts

which was roundly rejected by everyone it was 10% I literally hurt my feelings when I looked at the 10% you know iTunes will it just has a little Rotten Tomatoes graphic for you. I was like, 10%? That's very low. On the Wikipedia, there is a quote

from an Irish film critic who said it is truly one of the worst films ever made. Oh my god. That's so interesting. It's definitely not. It's not a perfect movie. Not only that, I would argue this movie has issues. I don't think it's among the worst 10% of movies we've ever covered on this podcast. I'd probably have to take a look, but yeah.

And I was expecting a bigger bounce. Well, okay. So this movie I feel like was reviled and then has had almost no reputation since then. Yeah. And when I reached out to- And it was a box office disappearance. Yeah. It seems like it would have like some sort of

cult comeback right around now it was one of those things that was always on the video show like i mean anytime i went to a freaking video store like you'd see steve you'd see that right yeah it's a great poster it's a great my memory is major video store kid my entire family loves steve martin right steve martin's like one of the only guys where if a steve martin movie is rated r my parents go you can rent that because they love steve martin so much it's a remake of a french movie sure my mother is french woman and i would see that video at the store and they go you're not renting that just because they'd seen it and they're like that's supposed to be terrible okay they hadn't even seen it her national pride yeah she like couldn't believe they had remade it

i remember her telling me how funny the french movie was no i'm trying to i feel like my mother was generally dismissive of any time there was a remake of a french farce so then there you go which we're gonna get into in a second but the fact that it was also a french farce starring steve martin yeah our family guy yeah he was our peter griffin right and it was still like not even worth the time he's the only i don't know if we want to just jump in but like he's the only performance that i wasn't into in the whole movie he thought everybody else was like tap dancing so well in this movie and he's like reaching for moments the whole way through i think he's fundamentally miscast he's miscast and he i think has no idea what he's supposed to be doing i think it's a hard role

too very hard role it's like straight man that's not a straight man exactly where you exactly i gotta take i gotta take i'll get to it but do you remember ben's bit should we go back to it sure pistachios were great it's a whole experiential thing well you have to crack the nuts open and then you can lick the shell a little bit you know and get some of the salt i like to do that sure the fucking i would probably put them in my top five they'd be my top five for sure the only thing with pistachios is like it's either number one or the worst thing you've ever eaten in the world it's like one yeah oh yeah yeah yeah but you get like a weird bird when you're like what is that is true but i revile walnuts just even seeing it

just a raw one no you know just like they're decorative they're not for they're just supposed to be on magazines or something here's my other great supposed to be like and everyone follow me like yeah like a law firm of space oh you see i we used to have a nutcracker with a bunch of nuts in our like living room and it was just sort of a good way to occupy yourself like that was the only thing i liked about it what's i'm sorry your argument family your argument for nutcrackers being a waste of space are you saying like we should just use a hammer your bare hand no we shouldn't be eating those nuts he's like if the shell's too hard why even bother exactly and it's not even that good sure um i'll say this about walnuts i don't know uh if the two of you the three of you have this same perception i feel like very often i'm at a restaurant and like especially they'll be running down the special sometimes off menu

item and they're describing a thing that sounds so good and then the last second they throw walnuts into the description and it kills my buzz I don't mind them eating food I'll take it I'll tolerate it but I'm always like perfect perfect they're like in a reduction with this

sauce and then they throw in sliced walnuts or roasted walnuts or roasted all walnuts or whatever you see here don't put fruit and don't put nuts in my salad oh i love it i love i love both those things i don't like it i mean i'm fine with it but i don't love dried fruit in a salad that's how you feel about that like i don't need to go yeah yeah i agree but like apples in a salad love so good love like an apple like feta goat cheese almonds almonds yeah yeah it's me i like a pistachio and pistachios can we just point out uh i don't know if uh you folks watched all the way to the very end of this movie but there are two end credits songs

the nine endings the second and final end credit song in this movie is an original ditty. I did not recognize the name of the man who wrote it, but it's performed by Dr. John. Nolan's legend Dr. John. And it is a song called Mixed Nuts in which the chorus is mostly him listing nuts. He's like, give me some almonds and some

cashews. He's like, I got it. And they're like, well, let us give you the plot. He's like, I'm hanging up And they're like, well, let us give you the plot. He's like, I'm hanging up, guys. It's so literal. But it also, it feels like a song from Sesame Street where they're like, I don't know, we need a segment where we teach kids. So that song is from the soundtrack of this movie?

I've just loved it independently for years. I had no idea. Our guest today. Yes, sorry. Probably, I would say up until this point the number one mixed nuts fan worldwide i think that's probably true this is your first time i'm curious to hear how it's aged for you yeah but in the way that we saw david and i as perennials at the video store and went huh and never ever considered it when i reached out to you i said we'd love to have you on your show i gave you a list of a bunch of movies we hadn't booked yet and you went weirdly mixed nuts as a

movie i watched a lot as a child i was upset it was my favorite movie at the same time the jurassic park was my favorite movie it was like i wasn't your two favorite movies those do kind of represent your personality it really is two shades but you weren't saying i need to do mixed nuts you were saying i'm just gonna throw out there weirdly it was my favorite movie that i watched a lot as a child if you have any strong feelings on mixed nuts you are now forced to be the guest and it was this is a healing something about this is healing like watching it like the last i did it in pieces like i didn't have time to like sit through the whole thing all at once i made it into a netflix series yes which honestly it doesn't not feel like a pilot 100 now it's kind of like a fiction it's like

we're gonna lose the it's like what is this a movie like about one of them and you or whatever you know it would be like a netflix series it really does feel like yeah can i make a prediction because this is a several months in advance episode reboot 10 chance there's an announced quibi reboot of mix nuts by the time this episode comes out we're recording end of february there's a 10 chance produced by griffin newman if they're doing swimming yeah i'm pitching it tomorrow literally same cast yeah but they're doing like a fucking swimming with sharks reboot hey man and how to lose a guy in 10 days reboot the amount of weird things that are getting rebooted

for quibi i'm like mix nuts could get rebooted and it might work and i mean look nuts are kind of quick bites the original quick bites that's very true grab a handful of nuts our kids watching quibi still hasn't launched by the time this episode comes out it will have either uh uh supplanted all other media right or shut down I think that's what's going to happen. That's what I'm voting for. It's going to be the only thing. Maybe by the time this episode comes out, we will be a Quibi original.

Quibi audio. And you'll be listening to this episode in 27 installments. And you can tilt us. It's fine. We can lie down. It's all good. People are constantly complaining about the lack of tiltability on this absolutely what do you think anyone is going to be watching quibi in a car crash and it's going to like tilt our guest today just killed a joke that you two morons didn't even hear you're gonna when you

really listen to this episode when it comes out months from now you're gonna you're gonna love it it was a great joke he is the creator co-creator co-show runner of search party that griffin newman stars in number one started yeah number one i do it's original now it's being rebooted but it was back in the day you're in the original cast of search party sure i do appreciate that three seasons later after my two episode guest spot you still have me at the top of the call sheet it means a lot yeah they call you every single day which is a little annoying they call me every day and go they're not going to use you today yeah yeah stay home yeah but stay you're on hold just you know just keep your oh my god outside dates i've had outside dates for four years now on search party ladies and gentlemen charles rogers here hi now talking about things

banked up far in advance we're recording this the day after the wrap party for search party season four yeah season three has not come out yet yeah Yeah, that's crazy. It is crazy. You based up two seasons. Life is crazy. Does that feel incredible or terrible to have two in the can? Both. Both. No, it feels good

to have two in the can. Yeah. It feels weird to have made a fourth season when no one saw the third and not know what people wanted or liked.

Sure, sure. And we've been joking that it just feels like an office job that we're just like, it's like somebody is just like paying for us. Like we're like a rich kid that's like parents are just like do your thing and like no one sees it i can't wait

for season three four uh four yes exactly kids we're giving you a two season pickup not that you have to save them yet but have they given you dates for each season because i know you would like shot three and they were like we're still figuring out we're still figuring it out and then it became good news bad news right right right it got it got put on hold because of hbo max right and so they were like we're gonna release this the third season on hbo max so we're just waiting for each season almost three years in between that's crazy the second and third season right that was the thing season three release got pushed back because of h other show that does that right curb your enthusiasm the benefit is you get the fourth season yeah yeah yeah yeah that and that's that's good and yeah

i wish i could really talk about it because it was so fun i just had so much fun shooting the fourth season it was really nice it usually stresses me the fuck out but this one was nice you know uh you say that but i will say uh uh you and uh sarah violet uh friend of the show past gas uh past and future guests um have uh run uh for tilden but i was in and the two episodes of search party i was in uh you two come across as the calmest uh directors i've ever worked with without seeming arrogant. Yeah. That's nice. The only people I know who are calmer are clearly not giving a shit.

Yeah, that's probably true. Yeah. Well, I, I'm getting better at, I really like playing. This is not about me,

this podcast, but I really like playing with people and I really like, um, having fun and like being lovey to everybody. And I haven't really, it's not until the last two seasons I was able to really look around and be like, this crew, I want to play with the crew the first two seasons I was so scared

and tunnel vision let's say it, you're a prankster you're a real big prankster I'm an OP I'm a practical joker my point is, I mean as a compliment I can't even imagine what you're like on set now that you're calm and jokey.

But Fort Tilden was a crazy movie to make for almost no money and no time. Yeah, it was really hard. It was traumatizing. Right, and Search Party was your first time doing a big thing like that. And so I've worked with you in the two situations where you presumably

should have been the most stressed out. Yeah. And you still, you and Sarah Violet still came out better than almost I've worked with. I'm good at hiding, which is why I'm going to die like in a couple weeks probably. Because you're suppressing it all? Yeah. Do you know, this is kind of connected to this subject, the movie we're talking about today. Sure.

In that it's about phone calls. Do you know that Charles used to do a show at the Magnet Theater here in New York where people would hand him their cell phone and pick a contact on the phone? I think I do know about this. I think you used to tell me about this show. Prank calls with Charles Rogers. I don't do it anymore. It was great. I miss it.

But they would tell you and they would be like, you can call this person? I mean, I would just like, I would, people would sign like slips at the beginning of the show where they would like nominate people that they would want to prank and then I'd go through them on stage and be like okay who said this and then I would get their phone and sometimes I'd be calling from their phone or sometimes I'd use other people's phones it was fun but now I left every time feeling guilty because I would take something too far like every time I would like offer someone four hundred thousand dollars and they'd be like that's evil you can't do that charles and i would just like you know like stage nerves i'd like just be like and then i'd be like i don't know the brilliance of it for me though was that uh and then the other thing that was really funny about it was it was in front of a live audience but the audience couldn't laugh because the phone was on speaker it made people act weird so everyone

was like holding their mouth people were like squirming it was like a weird it was an interesting energy like everyone was freaking out silently but the brilliance of it was because like someone hand in a slip because charles would interview them on stage when he called them whether it was on that person's phone or another phone he would have enough specifics that the person would be less skeptical about the call yeah so sometimes it was like i'm pretending that i not i'm pretending but charles would pretend like uh that that person had lost their phone and he was calling on their phone to try to get in touch yeah and i'd be like an old lady that they like take care of and they're like oh i didn't know that this person took care of an old lady on sundays or whatever you would see like people's like acceptance of the bizarre reality

would go further because they'd be like well they know my first name and they know a person i know and they know where i work this is just nothing brings me more joy just hearing you talk about we got to prank something by the end of the episode do you think oh can we yeah for sure all right good we're gonna do that're going to do that. I don't know if we're going to do that. Someone in my life. Mixed Nuts is a prank. Mixed Nuts is a prank. It's a prank on America.

A Ben friend. Can you tell us about your relationship to this movie? Do you remember how you saw it for the first time? I don't know when the first time was. I feel like it wasn't in a theater, but it's a movie that we owned. That movie was briefly in theaters. Yeah, probably got pulled. Do you feel like it was a rental that was briefly in theaters yeah yeah pulled do you feel like it was do you

feel like it was a rental or a cable thing i think we owned the vhs and i watched it multiple multiple times were you a steve martin fan or uh and so much as like any kid we gotta have yeah no no no for me it was madeline khan leah schreiber's character like i think that there was some kind of like coming out thing with like the like whatever 90s portrait of gender non-conforming he is supposed to be in the movie yes and it is funny the movie's like we're not gonna ask questions i know i know right i have to admit the ar, I think, is a hilarious genius scene. It is so fucking funny. I watched it over and over, and then I took a video of it yesterday.

Here's the thing with the Leo Schreiber character in this movie. It starts and you go, this is going to be fucking rough. You're just like, oh, it's 94. This is not. If you're David and I watching it for the first time, you're like, oh boy. And then there are moments that are handled so much better than you would expect totally and you can tell he he brought like in the same way that like robin williams and the bird like you know whenever people are like you can't play gay and then i'm like well but robin williams like brought his

soul to that so sure i don't know i believed it you know i mean clearly does not think the character is stupid yeah he's bringing a lot of integrity to it and I would say what is it it's like first performance it's his single first film of the year is it really that's insane

and I feel like they partly cast him because he's so tall and the deep voice this is insane stat that's interesting this is the second Liev Schreiber

plays trans in a comedy what's the other movie we've covered on this fucking podcast right Taking Woodstock the Anglophone. I forgot about that. Where it feels like both movies are doing the same bit

which is like, well, this guy's got such a deep voice. He's so tall. He's so manly. Imagine him in a dress. And in both cases, Liev is like, I'm playing this as a real person. And in both cases, the movie is like, get a load of this. A man dressed as a woman. The movie sort of thinks that's enough for you to be like well i'm on the floor to this guy's credit yes and

especially for his first film ever he is clearly working really hard to be like his pain is real yes exactly i mean that's like you don't fucking they're they're so nebulous about the identity yeah of chris yes sure there's so many things that aren't decided wait who's chris is that the character's name yeah right arnold yeah right because there's so long where i was waiting for like when are they gonna name the character is it gonna be a female name right right right right that when they said sonia or something right right it was hilarious it's so good like i think what i loved about it as a kid was that it was the first time i saw something

that had like wacky sketch tone that also was like underneath like a seriousness that i was like oh this is adult i was like this is like what adult adult when adult meets funny i thought it is very much a sketch comedy movie yeah every scene is a sketch it's got the vibe it's got the aesthetics and it's also sort of just almost relying on like we can get away with this because it's a sketchy movie right

so like it's okay that it doesn't hang together we can just like do a new scene now time for a new scene but it is like that weird thing of I feel like there are very few, like especially 80s, 90s, 2000s, studio dark comedies that I don't at least begrudgingly respect.

Right, yeah. And I feel like they almost always fail. Yeah. Like anytime there's a major studio making a black comedy, even with big stars or big director, it usually is like despised when it came out and like treated as a punch line it's like if you're gonna go dark fake it's like the

tone is fake it's indie or whatever so i'd always sort of been curious about this movie because i was like it's a steve martin nora effron comedy it features so many people i love in the supporting cast and also he's wearing a suicide hat yes i didn't know the suicide thing here's what i knew of this movie well do you want to finish your thought? no I was just going to say I was excited to watch this even though it's reputation wasn't good but especially after hearing you liked it

because I was like this is kind of my thing where even if it doesn't work it's the sort of thing I like to see made and then this is in such a weird way not really a dark comedy as much it it is a very broad comedy that's just, as you sort of said, built on top of dark things. Right, yeah. I think she can't really do a dark comedy, but she's like, I should do a dark comedy.

And that's a good direction for me to go in. I just made this very sweet move. Sure. And so wouldn't it be good to make an like a black comedy yeah but that she her whole aesthetic just does not match with a black comedy it's just not you just don't nothing is at stake not that things need to be at stake but it's just like i don't care like i don't care about your eviction i don't care you killed somebody like who cares you're just like moving through the motions of a weird story but also i didn't re-watching it and i don't have a lot of objectivity because i feel like i was revisiting it as a kid while we're watching it and i was like i actually

do really like that like there is something in the dna of this movie that actually isn't fake like that was the weird thing yes it's not it's not so it like it's not soulless you're right not at all it's like working and not working 100 at the same time she is good at loving her characters and she kind of loves these people yeah you can tell and they're good characters it's also that thing the characters are watching it's one of those things where she is like you know uh a kind of inarguably masterful souffle filmmaker that thing we talked about we talked about a lot with nancy meyer especially especially in terms of the public reputation of her movies forgetting this is my life which i feel like is sort of just in the

middle everything is either a huge hit or a total disaster now this is a narrative thread i want to set up for this miniseries okay you saying that you just feel like she doesn't have it in her to go this dark the thing that i find so fascinating about norah effron and this is unusual and really the first time we've covered a filmmaker like this is she has a whole fucking career before she becomes a director she can write a dark movie that's the thing she can't direct the dark that's what's interesting about her is like like heartburn or silkwood or whatever yes in the hands of her career is like you know she's she's a writer she's a humorist right she's writing fiction she's writing journalism she's writing

short stories she's writing personal essays she's wild widely known as sort of like you know not david sedaris but that sort of level of oh she is right humor in the 80s right 100 right like she's like a blockbuster name within certain circles then she starts writing screenplays and the screenplays start as being like semi-autobiographical things her adapting her own book you know things like that and those movies are darker her writing when she was uh writing uh you know uh fiction and such, uh, writing in print was sort of had more bite to it was darker. And then Harry Met Sally is like the bridge where it's like, she writes the screenplay that is such a perfect encapsulation of this type of sensibility that she really nailed.

And that sort of gives her the blank check to start making her own films. And then she becomes this incredible souffle filmmaker. And it feels like every one or two movies, she's like, can I make a movie with as much sort of like bite as the stuff I used to write? And those are the movies that flop. You know, like Lucky Numbers is her being like, I should be able to make a dark comedy. And then her only films that work are the ones that are just like really positive. Yeah.

You know what, though? That's not what didn't work for me. I actually think the dark did work in the movie. movie like i thought the screwball didn't work that's the thing that is ensemble i think the movie got really lost in trying to balance right you're right it's more balanced like the dark is kind of funny right like it all kind of worked i was like these are some good lines there's a lot of really good laugh lines there then when it dials up into the french yeah oh no no we are running into the other room there's a man in really good laugh lines there then when it dials up into the french yeah no no we are running into the other room there's a man in a dress you know like which just all feels like

from a french farce thing yeah and um like pratfalls that it was like well why do you trip on that maybe i'm wrong sure i haven't seen um santa claus is a stinker uh-huh the original i feel like that movie is probably like the Chris character is a little less human and is a little more like, you know, the movie's like oh, ha ha ha, you know, and like that the Steve Martin character isn't a pompous oaf.

Not like a sort of nice guy who's sort of difficult in person or whatever they're trying to do here. But more just sort of like, oh, well, I'm so smart, you know. The Steve Martin character is in a weird middle ground between like the film's trying to position him as the everyman right but also he's kind of an asshole and he's bad at everything he does and everyone keeps telling him everyone around him he's critical but also everyone who talks to him is like you're really awful like yes you're not good at the business side of this or the human side of this

but also his main viewpoint is all of you are terrible everyone around me right you're like all the island of misfit toys and i'm the one who's so critical and judgmental and he's sort of i guess supposed to be the audience surrogate i think it is all a part of this weird thing that is that the movie i was when i was watching i was like this movie like in a weird way reflects like this cultural thing that was like coming around that time of like the isolation of the oddball like that kind of like if you're if you're a little bit eccentric don't you feel lonely like that's kind of the like pain of the movie and i feel like that's like generation yeah and like that kind of and then like i feel like it like that became like

twee or like it like it ushered in like amelie and ghost world and these movies that like is this the beginning of like especially because of the california setting where it's like it's christmas but it's hot outside everything's weird right right and like you've got the parker posey john stewart characters it's like i get what that is That's yuppies and we don't like them. They're just rich snobs. I do too. I like when they're just like we're fucking your tree. Which is very funny. And like

and so right and then yeah right. Everyone's got like everyone's got a thing. Everyone's got a game. Everyone's got a thing. White. It's a very Jewish Christmas movie which I thought was like as I was watching nuts white yes it's a very Jewish Christmas movie which I thought was

like as I was watching I was like this is a very Jewish like it feels very Jewish there's a like it's like like so many like it's like

Gary Shandling Rob Reiner like it's just got a really Jewish sensibility and it's a Christmas movie like Rita Wilson is one of those not Jews

who you're like this lady's Jewish right Anthony LaPaglia is the same you're like this guy's probably either Jewish or Italian. And it's like, no, he's Australian. He's Italian-Australian.

Women who are not Jewish but seem Jewish. Are you describing everyone I've ever dated? There is this thing that I maybe shouldn't admit, but almost every girlfriend I've ever had for like the first six weeks, I've been like, yeah, she's definitely Jewish. And then at some point I realized they're not, because culturally we seem on a similar wavelength.

You called it David, which is she can go to this zone as a writer, but she can't go there as a director. Her instincts are sort of in this, like, I want things to be tight and i want them to be sort of frothy and fun and manic in a way that like um it's interesting like even something like the cable guy which i really love is an example of like a dark comedy studio comedy that was

maligned at the time that i think has built a better reputation is like ben siller who is also capable of going very broad and light despite the fact that clearly his mind is dark you know especially at that time right and DeVito is someone who like

had a couple it feels DeVito this movie very yes but DeVito and like Stiller DeVito

DeVito DeVito the author is the doc comedy DeVito Stiller Sarah Rubin who at this point

will have been a guest on the podcast friend of the show, texted me out of nowhere the other night, I got a pitch for you, Danny DeVito miniseries, and then her follow-up text was, little series for a little man. I mean, I thought that was so funny.

I would love to do a Danny DeVito miniseries. A little series, yeah. What's it, five movies? Five? Six? Yeah, you should. But he's a weird example where he had like... Wait, did he do Mama, Throw Mama... Throw Mama from the Train. Throw Mama from the Train. That's one of my favorite dark comedies. Well, that's the thing. six yeah you should uh but he's a weird example where he had like mama throw mama

and war of the roses were huge hits and both they're both very good and they're both dark very very dark like truly dark by a pic right which i've never seen but is reviled classic blank check though yes it is right 100 and then it's Matilda which is like beloved children's film Matilda is good I just rewatched Willy Wonka too on peyote

and it was literally genius I really saw the comedy in Willy Wonka and then it's Death to Smoochie and Duplex

Death to Smoochie is an example of one that I will defend I've been seeing it since I was little but I loved it but I think DeVito is a guy who had that sense

of like control over the dial duplex is not great duplex is not great I saw it in theaters but he had a good control of the dial and had the right sort of he was really good at finding the visual sensibility

the visual look of a dark comedy to make it still look like a comedy, but be foreboding enough. Right. He had really strong use of like shadows and like extreme angles and things like that. Especially War of the Roses. Yeah. It's so well directed. And then what's weird about this film is like this movie looks like fluffier than Sleepless in Seattle.

Yes. Like this movie is so brightly lit. Yeah. So kind of like sitcom living room set. Yeah, it is. It looks like a multicam. It's crazy. Yeah.

Like if you leaned on the set, it would just. Right. That even if as a writer, she wants to go there and the dark jokes are actually dark. It's like in terms of. The Stephen Wright joke

is one of those jokes where you're like, is there going to be another beat that makes this less dark? And they're like, nope. And then like maybe even a pause to be like, that was for real. Yeah those jokes where you're like, is there going to be another beat that makes this less dark? And they're like, nope. And then they even pause to be like, that was for real. And then they're like, anyway. And you're like, okay, Jesus. You're like, her script is dark.

She's directing the performances to be significantly less dark than the script. And visually the film is even brighter than the performance. It is a little bit of a mess. is even brighter than the performance it is it is a little bit of a mess and it's also the the beats of like physical comedy and like punch lines are so over pronounced you just want to get out if there's moments in golden girls that are like that where they'll just like hold on the arthur for like four seconds and you're like you've got to get out of that shot like you're ruining this moment right well that's like the stuff that really sticks out with the Chris character is that like Liev Schreiber is trying his hardest

to make like the pain in this character very real and honest and earned. And then it keeps on cutting to five second reaction shots of Steve Martin looking horrified.

I know. And you know, their first scene, I mean, and I'll forgive like one sort of him going like, oh, I don't know, you know,

but they do too many of those. Yeah. It's a little. And even when he gets into it scene i mean and i'll forgive like one sort of him going like oh i don't know you know for sure but they do too many of those yeah it's a little and even when he gets into it at the end though but that's what that's what i like yeah right that scene becomes kind of lovely yes but but then they'll still like undercut it like the dance is so sweet and then they'll throw in another two seconds of him going like it does feel like the french farce but then i like that like there are weird choices that did work for me too though like and then like and later like uh leo schreiber's still dancing like in the background i was like that's funny like he's just still dancing there's like little there's like little moments that like don't work at all and then the

next thing i'm like that's kind of brilliant that you did that the sandler thing is kind of like fascinating it is and it i was expecting because i remembered it as a kid i was expecting it not to work and i was like i kind of like it i kind of do sandler's fine he's good it's weird how much he's doing full sandler that's the thing i think that was like his first too and I think that's what's going on there where they're like no one's ever seen you do this in a movie

so just do your thing and he's like great I'll do my thing it is weird though that like after this he's like I have to be half normal person

half Sandler character and this one it's only Sandler sketch like weekend update character he's like full mentally ill like there's like there's something

that's like it's never addressed it's just like this poor person that's like no one ill like there's like there's something that's like it's never addressed it's just like this poor person that's like no one's taking care of him right you can tell they want him

to be like a simple guy but he pushes it into like is he Rain Man right here's their types it's like Steve Martin he's a little pompous like Rita Wilson

she's a little like sad she's a little bit of a sad sack right Madeline Kahn she's kind of mean yeah

Juliette Lewis she's got an attitude Anthony La's a little bit of a sad sack. Madeline Kahn, she's kind of mean. Juliette Lewis, she's got an attitude. Anthony LaPaglia, he's homicidal? Adam Sandler, he's a child? He's like a child in her own body? It sort of escalates weirdly and that's also a problem that I

have. Steve Martin's like, look at us, a bunch of mix nuts. And I'm like, I guess so. You just seem a little annoying. Can I read an insane thing? I was watching this on Amazon, a company that's done a lot of terrible things, where they have the x-ray

so you can see the trivia facts pop up while the movie's playing, right? This is clearly a user-submitted trivia fact that barely tracks, and I want to assume that this is someone's own analysis of the movie that they presented as empirical fact, okay? All of the characters reflect Christmas icons. Felix, Anthony LaPaglia, is Santa Claus.

Sure. Well, in the sense that he dresses like, but he doesn't act like Santa Claus, okay? He's like Santa Claus. We're about to in the sense that he dresses like, but he doesn't act like Santa Claus. Okay. He's like Santa. We're about to really run out of Christmas icons. Let's get ready. Get ready for what they do here.

Gracie, Juliette Lewis, the Virgin Mary. Well, yes, of course she's dressed like her. She has the baby. The end is a manger. Whatever. Philip, Steve Martin is an elf. Is he? I guess.

In any way? I don't know. Explain to me how that. Okay. Catherine Rita Wilson is an angel. I guess she's the nicest person in the movie. I just want to bring up, Santa wasn't present for the birth of Christ. You can't just mix the Virgin Mary and Santa. Get ready for how versatile they are with the title Christmas icon.

The Easter Bunny. mrs mushnick madeline khan is the grinch uh-huh mr lobel robert klein is scrooge okay louis adam sandler is the little drummer boy chris leo schreiber is rudolph why i don't disagree i don't disagree i think i think i agree with all these persons because chris gets hit in the nose with a door and the nose becomes red wow a lot of people get concussions in those movies and and ready this one's really is it gary shandling stanley gary shandling is the christmas tree what well well they do tie him to one right so this trivia entry presupposes that these seven icons of christmas i just love the avengers of christmas we all know the virgin mary christmas icon i'm

like what about jesus no no no no santa and the grinch were there it's santa virgin mary the grinch scrooge, little drummer boy Rudolph, and a Christmas tree. It's a framework that really kind of stops there. It's not applicable in any way. Some of them are visual. And then what do you do with that? And you're like, the two mean characters are both,

I don't know, the mean characters who hate Christmas and different stories? What the fuck are you talking about? Who fuck each other? That is true. I mean, the Grinch and Scrooge do fuck each other. Do you think there is a lot of Grinch-Scrooge slash fic out there if we search? There probably is,

honestly. They just hate fuck each other on Christmas Eve. I wonder if there's any Mixed Nuts porn out there. The weird thing is this ain't Mixed Nuts and XXX Parody. I don't want to search for it i'm sorry yeah mix xx i mean there's a lot anyway yeah robert klein i'm sorry i just have to bring this up he's third build in the film well do you know what i realized is it it's alphabetical other

than martin other martin it's martin and then kk is in this movie too it is uh my forky spotted him oh boy and i had one of his first appearances one of them was first victor garber is a voice oh yes from another room yes in this movie i don't know why uh i mean he's in sleepless in seattle maybe it's just like hey victor you want to do a voice ignores the voice of The LA Times. Yes. Yes. Right. And there are a couple other weird voices in there. Well,

Jolie Fisher pops in. Right. Right. You got, but some of the voice, I think Mary Gross from Asphodel is one of the voices. Fair enough. Yes.

Caroline Aaron and Mary Gross are two of the hotline callers. Oh, and then you also have a first film appearance of Jon Stewart. I know. As the rollerblader. You would never know. Never know. And Parker Posey.

They're constantly in motion. Parker Posey I recognized when I saw her. Also her voice is Parker Posey. Everyone on roller skates is Parker Posey. You all become

Parker Posey. Blow it, buster. Jon Stewart, I did not know until the credits. I was like, oh, that was Jon Stewart. I didn't know that either.

And I had to go back and I'm like, it's almost offensive to him that you don't see like it cuts around him in a way that does it's like you're trying to cut him out it's true well it's like he has this and then the following year the year after that he what's supposed to be his movie breakout he gets hired to play goldie hawn's boyfriend and first wives club and they cut all of his scenes out really he's fully removed he doesn't really have a proper role until the faculty yeah and by then it's already

like you're like an art teacher and half-baked but that's like one scene right harvey weinstein a great man uh announced in the late 90s i'm sorry har Harvey Weinstein, terrific guy. Harvey Weinstein in the 90s, like, pre-Daily Show, post-MTV run, announces, like,

I've signed Jon Stewart to a four-movie deal. Right, because he's in Playing by Heart, which was murdered. Why was he cut out of all these movies? I don't know.

Well, this is, he's cut out of all these films or has nothing parts. Then Weinstein is like, I think this guy's a leading man. The first thing he puts him in is the faculty, is probably just like i want to start putting you in movies playing for playing for playing by heart okay playing by heart i don't know what that is it was like a big miramax movie of the 90s with angelina jolie and jillian anderson and it was

like they were like yes it's like connery it's like shortcuts it's like eight different romantic plot lines i guess it's like a proto love actually but not tied around christmas did it just get released it was like one of the no no no this is like late 90s it's early angelina okay um who is angelina is not with johnny lee miller it's with someone that's hackers i know and i know they were married in real life, but it's someone kind of like that. I don't know. I'm seeing Anthony Edwards.

I'm seeing Jay Moore, Dennis Quaid. Or maybe, maybe fucking Jon Stewart ends up with Angelina Jolie in that movie. I don't fucking know. Anyway, eventually Weinstein drops his contract and doesn't fulfill it. Interesting.

Yeah. No, Ryan Phillippe. Yes. Thank you. Okay. Right. He's kind of the punk guy.

Yeah. Anyway, but you know, and he's kind of the punk guy yeah anyway but you know and he's John Stewart's with Gillian Anderson yeah there you go as it should be

Big Daddy and then Death of Smoochie and he's essentially after that is like I guess I shouldn't be in movies anymore and just regularly makes fun of his movie career

for the rest of the run of the Daily Show I like him in movies I do too he's got good energy it's John Stewart yeah he brings he raises the scene

but I feel like before the daily show it was more like who's that sort of like blandly charming guy like he just had no presence or whatever we didn't know the wise the wise guy it's also fascinating to watch uh larry sanders show which i re-watched in its entirety recently and he's got like a two-season arc as the jay leno yeah he's larry sanders and arc as the Jay Leno. Yeah. To Larry Sanders. Right. And the studio is clearly grooming him. The network's grooming him and he keeps on coming around with his leather jacket. But it's also a joke about Jon Stewart's career in the nineties when he was that guy.

Right. They kept being like, well, he could be. Everyone kept on trying to make him happen. They were sort of pre-packaging him as like, this guy's charming and he's handsome. Shouldn't he be a star?

It's very bizarre. Well, it's also just bizarre that he eventually did get a job and he was like i have a whole philosophy of how a talk show should work yeah which is because i feel like everyone else is just like they just he's just a suit they want to plug in like a charming guy right and he was like no no i have like a whole concept like you know this is like a thing i'm gonna do yeah fair enough yeah and then he made a movie about water yeah i was gonna ask what like what happened it's not bad it's not bad

I haven't seen it rose water it's also not good but it's not bad I kinda liked it I love how rose water smells that's the I love that too

love the fragrance he's a torturer wore rose water that's literally why it's called that he wore rose water and now he has another movie coming out

that's kind of like what if a comedian ran for president what i don't know steve carell oh is that what that is okay no it's like local government whatever yeah i'm running for government i decided to run for government i think the title of the movie is running for government um i government do you guys like this movie? I kind of do you can be honest with me

I will say I always assumed it was unwatchable then in preparing for this mini series and hearing that you loved it I always had this perverse like is there a chance it's secretly my kind of thing so then I started watching it not with unrealistic expectations but going like there's a chance I might love this yeah and instead the entire time i felt kind of

confused because it's so confusing it's like in every single scene in every moment there is simultaneously something i really like and something that's yeah it's both at the same time there's something very rich about its confusing nature kind of yeah it's kind of like really worth watching to be like yeah the whole way through here's my experience with mixed nuts and get ready oh boy okay so my experience with this movie is i never saw it but congrats in the united kingdom this is why i told you get ready okay you're just gonna give me some objective historical fact about what happened when this film was in the united and i assume it it was probably rated PG-13 here, but it was rated 12 in the United Kingdom. Why would that affect you?

Wait, why do they do that? What's the rating system in Britain? What? Oh, that's amazing. They pretend to not know that, but they know that. Well, it's never come up on the show. That must have really shaped your point of view over the years. It did. That's why I would think he would bring it up more often.

The rating system is more restrictive, and it's like, like if you're under 12 you can't see a movie rated 12 and then there's 15 18 like every age runs off of nc7 age i thought it was like a size it's nc17 rules where it doesn't matter whether or not you have a guardian. Yes. Okay. And so this was rated 12. And when I was a 12-year-old, there was not a lot of movies rated 12. Usually it's either PG. So I would be like, ooh, this is slightly more grown. I could watch this one.

And I still never watched this movie. But I would always see it on the shelf. I'm like, maybe this is the time for Mixed Nuts. Never did. Watched this movie. Was like you the whole time, kind like this isn't working but then some joke would make me laugh or like some performance and then at the last 20 minutes i was like i'm basically into this you kind of have to respect it for what it is and like when they were just like they shoot gary shandling to death yeah and he's dead and they're gonna take it outside and

i'm like is this just the end of the movie. And then there's the sort of actual end of the movie. Yeah. When it finally like all comes together. Yeah. And I was like, I know the movie falls in love with itself at the end. Yeah. And I guess that's partly the sort of Nora Ephron,

like pixie dust sort of thing where she is pretty good at getting you on. And it did kind of, it did make me be like, yeah, Christmas is magic. And like, you are lonely on Christmas. kind of it did make me be like yeah christmas is magic and like you are lonely on christmas i like all the things i was like yeah and i'm so hung over i almost cried the other thing i like i think in the end is that more people start to be to the steve martin character like you are bringing nothing to the table and i'm like i'm glad

everyone's calling him out on me not not that it's a binary but but can i just throw out my take right here the thing because i love steve martin even in bad movies i tend to love steve martin and i want to talk about steve martin's 90s in a second i want to talk about how bad his 90s were in a second okay watching it i was like why is he so wrong for this and then i realized so much of 90 steve martin when he moves out of being like weird hippie square guy you know like being the idiot in the 90s he becomes i'm sorry 90s 80s and 70s he is weird hippie doofus right in the 90s he becomes like square like super wasp his father of the bride character that becomes like the template it's like he's got gray hair reflects the demise of america he really does yeah and he's like a fucking clinton voter right yeah and and so

much of it is that he is it's like bus case scenario he has this coiled anger this cold frustration i mean it's it's what planes trains and automobiles perfects and then he carries with him for most of the 90s which is not the right fit for this movie because it's a movie that's one who works for a suicide hotline. And that Steve Martin 90s persona is mostly everyone around me is stupid and I'm seething with content. And I'm getting now, Griffin, why you wanted to go through this, because looking at his 90s, save for Father of the Bride, which is like pretty charming and fun. And Father of the Bride 2. L.A.'s story, which is flawed but interesting. I like a lot. And Bowfinger, which is right at the end there. And Father Bride 2. L.A.'s story, which is flawed, but interesting. I like a lot.

And Bowfinger, which is right at the end there. I love Bowfinger. All of these movies are terrible. Like calamitous. And most of them are not only bad, but bad choices for him. No,

Sergeant Bilko. Sergeant Bilko is terrible. Terrible. Like that movie is great. I mean, I haven't seen it since I was a kid, but I remember liking it. It's Republican,

Sergeant Bilko. Also, that movie came out and everyone was like we hate this it was nobody likes that movie so we're better

maybe it could be a better series one of the most respected comedy series of all time right the Phil Silver show where like critics

always fucking cream themselves for that thing where they're like do you know that's actually the best sitcom of all time sure

then they make it as a movie with like every beloved like sort of like venerable funny man phil hartman like the cast on that thing is insane chris rockston chris everyone's fucking in it and every it came out and everyone was just like we're just gonna pretend this never

happened yeah yeah yeah i remember like i did not get it there's a few things in comedy where i'm like i ever like i i don't get caddyshack i don't get animal house i'm just like there's a few things that i'm like i don't get it like maybe it's like boy i don't like i don't get Caddyshack I don't get Animal House there's a few things that I'm like I don't get it maybe it's like Boys I don't get Boys those are both very fratty movies where's the joke though or is it just about the spirit of the movie I don't know

and Three Stooges all of those movies and things are Sgt. Bilko to me the Sgt. Bilko movie is just I remember my mom going to see it and I was so eager to see it because I was like, Steve Martin and the Army sounds funny. Yeah. Like I was like, oh, it's going to be Steve Martin stripes or whatever. Right.

And she was like, I refuse to let you see it just because of how bad it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even that it's inappropriate. You can't do this. And she was like, there is literally not a single funny moment in the entire movie. All right. So here's his 90s

Okay My Blue Heaven Written by Nora Ephron Written by Nora Ephron Which is like comedy Goodfellas It's the sequel to Goodfellas It's Henry Hill In Witness Protection

Which is crazy I've never seen that movie How is it? I kind of like it Sure Not a big hit Right LA Story

Yeah Good movie Starts strong Yeah Father of the Bride This is the same year and also he's in grand canyon which is like 1991 crash the lawrence kasdan movie right then we got house sitter which i've saw on tv gentlemen six frank oz a perfectly functional cable movie then we got

leap of faith which i've never seen i've seen leap of faith i liked it i kind of like it's probably like a mixed nuts like what when you watch it it's better than mix nuts i would say and they did a broadway musical of it that was pretty well regarded but was unsuccessful because who wants to see a fucking leap of faith musical of course um but it was such a big bomb that there's like an infamous snl clip where david spade's doing hollywood minute on weekend update and they show the poster for Leap of Faith, and they go, look, kids, a falling star. Oh, yeah, sure.

And then Steve Martin walks in behind him and rags on David Spade for like five minutes. Sure, okay, that's funny. Then, in the same year as Mixed Nuts, he made A Simple Twist of Fate, his... Silas Marner adaptation! The movie he wrote that's an adaptation of Silas Marner

that I have seen. Oh, I don't know what this is. It's like, what if a curmudgeonly guy got a kid on his hand and had to adopt a kid? But it's a modernized fucking... And it's so treacly and very safe and cute

and not funny. Yeah, not a comedy, really. Like, my mom showed me that movie when I was a kid because she was like, this will not offend anything, any sensibility. It's like Steve Martin

doing Stepmom. Is there a way to look at his IMDb and then sort of pinpoint when he bought art it's just like that's uh okay he would talk about it he'd be like i'll do the movies that pay me the most money right because i like buying art it's so funny then father the bride part two which is better than father it is is it a good movie who knows i've seen it more there's something like evil about those movies especially in that one because he's like my life is fucking miserable i own a factory my everyone around me is so gorgeous i have to sell my giant house yeah what the hell is going on and we're all like

steve i'm right there with you this sucks that movie and jumanji were movies where you could just own like tennis shoe factories and towns and it was and you were like normal it's like he's literally talking to the camera walking through his shoe factory being like look i'm just a regular guy just another day at the wasp wait do you own nike in the summer i don't understand like there's no comp That movie also just has the weird thing of he and Diane Keaton getting pregnant. He fucks her, you know, through the wall and she gets pregnant. She's like 48. And then the two babies are born at the same time.

Yes, that is the problem. Their sexuality is so icky. Really icky. There's something, it's like, they're both gorgeous people. I mean, whatever, but like, it's just like, why do I not want to see them fuck? Like, I just don't want to in this movie. Yeah and then you've got sergeant bilko which i think is that's when people are like can you stop yeah also you don't need to make this many movies stop it and then he does the spanish prisoner which is sort of cool like you know it's not not it's another example where

he says i did that i went to the premiere audiences started laughing when i showed up and i said i guess i can never do a drama ever again and he doesn't do it again until Billy Lynn that's right and then 99 he has Bowfinger he also has the I love

Bowfinger I know Bowfinger is a masterpiece it's good we like it okay yeah it's a total masterpiece I can't get everyone to fill that way it's funny because

I like two actually it's bad but post Bowfinger he should be it should be like hey this is your energy like write it and then he goes back to i'm just like cheaper by the dozens but that's because 9-11 like we just couldn't we we lost ourselves like we we were like on a roll with like getting zany and then we just like fell off also all five of those movies we just named

off huge hits yeah that's the thing he went back to being a top comedy box office cheaper by the dozen is the worst movie ever made it's so bad and like the whole premise is he has 12 kids yeah and he's like isn't that nuts and i'm like why the fuck do you have 12 kids he's like no the premise is i've done setup like that's it the baker's dozen um it was a title first probably it's a's a remake. It is a remake of a classic. It's a lot of kids. There was a 40s version of it. When I was a kid, when I was that age,

me and my best friend Ollie, I guess I was like 16, we wrote a parody script called Cheaper Cousin. I can't believe I've never talked about this on air. About how he now has to have, he has 4,000 cousins. That's a lot of cousins! And the whole premise is like,'re just like destroying everything around them like 30 pages we were like 30 pages of the extended family right right are like the gremlins taking over the town and tearing buildings i'm sure the cousins is a good idea yeah really good as a concept we need to dig into more cousins too many cousins but you're like

his only passion project in the 2000s is Shop Girl yeah right and then that's when the tortoiseshell glasses

came out yeah also right Shop Girl is he's like it's just weird for me to fuck a younger woman and we're all like yeah it is weird

don't do that to me and he's like by the way have you met my wife and everyone's like oh that's Shop Girl Novocaine too that was like that is that era forgotten film i've never seen that is it good um it didn't work for me when i was like 15 i didn't get it and i was so on board with it i know it felt like it should be what i wanted but yeah he needs to figure it out he is not i mean

like i don't know he's just complicating all the kennedy centers i think i think he's good you know he loves doing the touring show yeah yeah right i mean he's essentially doing stand-up for the first time in like 40 years that special he did with um much more yeah that's really good they're doing that okay such a hottie he's one of the most handsome stand-ups to ever exist in the jerk it's also one of those weird things where like if you see him when he was like a writer on the smothers brothers when he did the dating game it's the last window of when he had dark hair yeah and he was really hot with dark hair and a beard yeah then he started going salt and pepper and you're like really handsome distinguished yeah then he was especially with his like doc brown hair it was

all like messed up in the 70s right good and then he goes like full white tight cut owns the wasp thing and you're like that's kind of how we all want to age yeah right and then in the last like 15 years he started like doing too much work yeah yeah but he's also got like a david letterman thing going on where it's like you're you're dressing cute it's just you shouldn't keep filling your face up like just let men age well so just do it i mean letterman figured it out where he's like your rent letterman is the dream yes that's exactly what you want healing it yeah oh my god visually couldn't be better that's what you want yeah we'll never that that anecdote he has about trying to buy shoelaces do Do you know what I'm talking about? I'm going to try.

I'm going to find it. It's like post, you know, retirement. Where he talks about how like he literally had forgotten how to live his life. Because he was a host of a late night show. Everything was for him. So he was like, I needed a pair of shoelaces. Where do you get shoelaces? And someone was like, go to Designer Shoe Warehouse. And he said he says so i go there it's a building the size of the pentacle

it's enormous um if you took if you took someone from a country that doesn't have this like a blindfold of them and put them in there they would be like you people are insane who needs this many shoes it's sinful it's one of those places where there's no employees and now and then there's just like a pile of shoe boxes so i go to the counter i'm nosing around the counter and there's shoelaces this is after about an hour so i'm waiting in line and the woman checking people out says in a big voice may i help our next shoe lover please and i just started to tremble i just it's the greatest little short story in the world just him trying to buy shoelaces here's my take now that we've

given that Steve where he's at his career the persona I also think a thing I find very fascinating about Steve Martin even with the amount of flops in the 90s and everything is that he is a guy who like three or four times in a way that was subtle but actually was quietly pretty radical changed what his comic persona was yeah you know that

that most comedians age out of oh the comic persona i had only worked at this period of time culturally age steve martin like kept on every 10 years going like i move laterally right because you go it starts with him being like absurdist i'm a bad like vaudeville performer i'm kind of like counterculture adjacent yeah you know then it becomes just sort of like he just like he invented like anti-comedy in like the 60s or whatever and he did that for a while and then he was like i'm gonna do something else now then it becomes like goofy befuddled guy and it's like all of me and the man with two brains and it's sort of like this shit's happening to me i'm no longer playing the moron who doesn't get it but i'm playing the person who's overwhelmed

and then the 90s he becomes like waspy asshole angry contented everybody yeah and then in the 2000s he's like i sold out yeah he might as well just like it's nothing and bags of money with his character but the weird is right in the 2000s he simultaneously his movies stop having any identity to them yeah sure but when he's doing tv appearances when he's hosting snl when he's hosting the oscars he is fully now owning more so than i think anyone else has ever succeeded doing this my bit is i'm so arrogant so rich and so successful. And everyone else, when they do that, you're like, this is too close to the truth. I can't laugh at it. Yeah, like Ellen.

The Ellen thing where you're like, you have to pretend like you're one of us. Right, right. If you start acknowledging that you think you're better than us, then the whole thing falls apart. He's the only guy who's pulled that off. That's true. His opening monologue for the 2000, for his his second oscars monologue is perfect joke for joke perfect and it's all that it's all about like him getting out there doing that yeah he needs to really like do something that's like that the martin short tour is like that if you watch the

netflix special it's great but but here's my take in one on one hand i think having someone who's that big of a star in this character actually throws off the balance of the movie because it is such an ensemble thing it's all these people entering and exiting and everyone else in this is a new star like you're Juliette Lewis is your Adam Sandler or Madeline Kahn is like you're taking someone back right Rita Wilson's never

had a part this big before really how old are all of these like how old are they like Madeline Kahn is the same age as Rita Wilson but she's like mrs old munch it's so weird like yeah like i don't know like they're on them like julia lewis is younger i suppose like i don't know you have like shanling klein uh con right yeah who are like it's comedy comedy luminaries right yeah yeah then you have like sandler juliet lewis and i would say rita wilson who are like these are new people anthony lapalia right right rita wilson's performance

is great she is i think she does so much with so little it's like you really love this not only is she the best performance this morning i think it's the best she's ever been i agree i totally agree it is a bummer and i only know her as the best friend in like your sort of Nancy Meyers movie she really she really is looking

for a reason to show that she's hurt I know that's like in life and then I think this movie she was like I get to finally show people

that I'm hurt yes her hair stylist her makeup stylist I'm looking and like it's like she just became like you know

runaway bride she becomes wine friend exactly she becomes you don't need him you're better without him yes exactly yeah yeah it's like i guess ostensibly what she was in volunteers yes she was in volunteers there were a couple like thankless like love interest in the comedy i think it's where tom hanks met her yes at the beginning of her career and then she did like you know some tvs appearances but this is like the one time i i think i've ever seen her be in a comedy where she gets to play the funny person yeah and has dramatic weight to carry really good and she's the one person who's totally on the wavelength of the tone this movie should yeah i agree she's balancing it perfectly she is although sometimes i feel like the movie sort of stops to deal with her

character and then moves on and I'm like, well, let's just stick with her. She should maybe be the lead. I know she is sort of the lead. Her panic attack is really good. It's really good. When she's like, I'm so cold, I was like, Jesus, cover her up. I'm feeling it. I know. But you're like, right. Not that someone could have

given a better performance than this, because I think Rita Wilson's pretty perfect, but you're like, if if you're gonna hire one really big movie star to be the person above the title in this film right it should be whoever's playing that character right right right right you know and it's like the the steve martin character by putting someone that big in the role you're asking the audience to see everything through his eyes which is kind of the least yeah pleasant set of eyes to view it through. There's also just a weird arc to him where the movie begins. There's the rollerbladers,

the trees crash into the... Right, there's the big accident. He's immediately angry at everyone. He's like, come on guys, it's Christmas. Can't we all be friends? And I'm like, oh, so he's a nice guy? And then immediately I'm like, no, he's a jerk. I work doing a charitable job. He works in charity. I'm like, oh, so he's like a nice guy and then immediately i'm like no he's a jerk yeah and then i work like

doing a charitable charity i'm like oh so he's a nice guy but i'm mad at it and i seem to hate it and then like there's like the early stephen wright joke which i do think is so funny where stephen wright calls and i'm gonna kill myself i'm like god and then you hear a gunshot and then it goes dead yeah and steve martin's like if they're really upset they call back which i think is so funny and then just standing there. It's really good. They milk it. They milk it well.

And I'm just, so I'm like, okay, so I'm not supposed to take them seriously as suicide prevention experts, right? No. And also it's like a, it's, it's a weird, like, it's like the company is a joke. So like, it's confusing. Like I'm confused at the emotional reality of working at this company that is a joke. Exactly. So it's just three sad people who are

shitty at this and people are calling lifesavers and it's only when they save like 1400 people or something it's like well wait how long is this going on for Steve Martin's whole bit is just some anagram joke like that's how he talks people off the fucking ledge and then

Rita Wilson's sort of nice and sweet Madeline Kahn is nasty yeah she's the grinch she's in pain her dead husband but Madeline Kahn

is incredible one of my 10 favorite actors in the history of movies of all time she's my second favorite who's she behind Catherine Zeta-Jones

Catherine O'Hara I mean I mean if you're like if you would just look me in the eyes and been like Catherine O'Hara

I'd be like alright and then the podcast just ends sure she's your favorite actress of all time I'm Jenna Rollins

and then Madeline Kahn Madeline Kahn's my second favorite actress of all time but yes in my top 10 in history. She's always shining.

She's shining as much as she shines in everything. I mean, I think she actually shines more in Clue than she does in this movie. No question. I mean,

but it's really great. So fucking good. In the Mel Brooks movie, she's transcended. Absolutely. Clue is more where you're like, here is someone in it. I think Clue is funny,

but I do think that Clue is mediocre. Like, you know, like the script, I have the same relationship with Clue where I'm like, I don't even know if it's good or not. Exactly. You can tell that theue is mediocre. Like, you know, like the script. I have the same relationship with Clue where I'm like, I don't even know if it's good or not. Exactly.

You can tell that the script is kind of bad and that every performer is good and is just doing everything they can. And that the script wanted to be bad. Yeah, that's right. It was like an homage to bad. And you're like, okay. And flames on the side of my face is something that she ad-libbed. It was not in the script.

And when you learn that, you're like, I see. She says in this movie too she's like when she's like don't you know Catherine loves you she has smoldering lust and it's like

that is all Mrs. White right now you're like this smoldering smothering like she loves these things her like improvised song she does when she's stuck

in the elevator feels very much like that's her what a gift she's so funny we were so lucky i think she's as good as any comedic performer that's ever existed and i think she's not talked about in those terms yeah because she was kind of egoless because she was so much and she's so tied to brooks and some people you know she was like one of the male brooks players but also she

was a supporting actress like she almost never was the lead. Yeah. How many movies do you think she did apart from My Little Pony and The American but how many live performances do you think she did between this and Clue?

Between this and Clue? Yeah. Three? One. Like she just never did movies. Well she did in 70s through like No I know but like

in the 80s when she should be doing this every year essentially. Cosby show. She would pop in on like Cosby sitcom

but like you know like Clue 85 and then she did something called Betsy's Wedding 1990 also Anthony O'Polly is another one too

and then this in 94 like I guess she just was sort of like eh I don't know I'm like semi-retired I'll do some TV she'd be doing something

she'd have an Oscar by now she has an Oscar no I think she was just nominated she was on it twice for paper moon and for blazing saddles which is one of the coolest nominations of all time that's good isn't that so cool where you're like jesus christ you fucking like gave that respect she won a tony i think for something her background was an opera singer yeah yeah and a dancer have you ever seen her seeing um the frog song she's so funny it's so great yeah i mean it's it's problematic but it's amazing

there was a sesame street vhs i had that i watched on endless loop as like a very young child where it had the two bits that she did in sesame street they would recycle in episodes that were her with grover i would say in the late 80s and it it's her singing the Echo song with Grover. And then there's one where I think she's playing her own identical twin. That's fun. But the one with Grover, it's like a very young child. Aside from the fact that she has perfect comic timing, that she has a beautiful singing voice, right? That she is big in a way that never feels cartoonish.

Like she's someone who is able to go expressionistic with her comedy acting without it feeling superficial uh she more so than anyone else i've ever seen as a child watching her interact with a muppet i was like this is like it feels like when a kind adult talks to me as a child like there's a level of consideration and respect with how she talks to like as opposed to when like rob a level of consideration and respect with how she talks to like as opposed to when like robin williams comes on and he's doing bits with like tally monster and you're like but you're just being robin williams you're trying to do your routine yeah you know not that it's not funny yeah yeah and madeline khan was like really like holding

grover's hand and looking him in the eyes and it meant so much to me that when she died and it played at the oscar in memoriam that year not that clip that when she died and it played at the Oscar in memoriam that year, not that clip, but when whatever clip they chose played at the Oscar memoriam that year, it's the only time I full on broke down crying at the Oscar in memoriam. And it totally caught me unawares. I always just get caught. Oh, right.

That's me watching. I know. Of course. Oh, like it's just me being surprised that people died. Even though half of them, I'm like, of course. Right. Not knowing. And surprised that people died even though half of them were like of course taking a sip

not knowing who it was and then like it'll be like Jim Jim and you're like oh he's a good editor this is what I do I do a lot of this

I do we need editors yeah oh god and then it's always Barry Richmond publicist and producer like oh

get off the air smoking a cigar no my sound during a memoriam is usually mmm Barry Richmond, publicist and producer. Get off the air. Smoking a cigar. My sound during a memoriam is usually like it's like that kind of like, oh. Madeline Kahn was the first one where she pops up and I'm just like, oh, tears are coming out of my eyes. Yeah, we were lucky.

God sent us an angel. It really does feel like that. The angel is Rita Wilson and she's the Grinch. That's true. God sent us a Grinch. I just think it like Angel is Rita Wilson. And she's the Grinch. That's true. It's a Grinch. I just think it's one of those things. It's one of those reasons I think she's not viewed of in the same way is that even though she was in all these big movies and she was part of stock companies and all these sorts

of things, like she never was like, well, I want to be the romantic lead. She never had her movies. It seems like she found the value in. Yeah, she did. I want to be the eighth character because i can do whatever i want kind or something i think on stage she was more of a leading woman but yeah and that was that was more than enough she was incredibly attractive part of course you know she's a real hot major if we did a hotness ranking she would be the hottest top two at the

worst yeah exactly adam sandler and Madeline Kahn clocking as the hottest this is this is Sandler at peak I know he is like full Pete Davidson hormones

in this he is just like oozing young teen hormones actually this is kind of a hottie parade it's pretty good

you know Martin might be dead last just because the hair is off the hair is so weird. And it also, you wonder what their calculation was there. And then why is he in that smoking jacket later? Because that's what an elf wears. She just dresses all of them.

She brought an insane amount of clothes that fit all of them. But like, LaPaglia, you know, I think he's the worst part of this movie. I agree. Totally agree. Just fine. But pretty cute. Yeah, he's handsome enough. He's already. I totally agree. Just fine, but pretty cute. Yeah. He's a hobby too.

Also half Santa is a hot look. Very not just suspenders in the pants. True. And then like a white feeder is sort of like, yeah, the guy who tried to assassinate Richard Nixon, wear a Santa Claus suit. Wasn't he like a department store Santa or something?

Cause in, in, in assassins, the Sondheim show, which I've always wanted to see. Never had the chance to. Probably my favorite musical or Tide. Really? I'm sure it's on.

Love it, love it, love it. Ben loves Assassins Creed. You're correct. Samuel Bick, his decision, he was going to hijack an airliner, crashed into the White House. It was just that he had once dressed in a Santa Claus suit at some other protest. And that's why Sondheim puts him in a Santa Claus suit.

It just, watching LaPaglia in this, where he's wearing a suit, he looks disheveled and he's got a gun at all times. Yeah. Is pretty much how that character looked in the 2003 revival of Assassins. And it freaked me out. It's true. That performance was the one that just didn't feel good to me like ever. And Adam Sandler,

like I weirdly, at first when he comes in, he's like, and I'm like, I don't know. But by the end I was like, actually, I believe it.

It really helps contextualize him. It also helps that he is so kind. Yes. He's innocent. He's so innocent to everyone the phone i do want to say that they're every phone call i think is very funny the obscene caller is always funny yeah it's always funny one that's always funny yes like the one who's like in line for and she's like she's like i was standing in the 10 items or

less line and i realized i might be standing in the 10 items or less line and I realized I might be standing in the 10 items or less line for the rest of my life I'm like that's like full Nora that's like yeah right that's Nora Ephron New Yorker short story

right just perfect little like tossed off line that stuff works really well I mean it's one of those things we were texting last night about this

but it's bizarre how many times they've tried to do the like beloved French farce as american remake and so often as we realized as we were going through it was really a 90s thing most of all yeah right i think birdcage is the only time it works for me that's what we were saying even then there are some moments where it's a little reachy it's the best one and it's the only one that you could

argue was both well regarded and a hit yeah right the thing that kickstart is three men and a baby yes right which i forgot was based on a and it's so fucking huge even if that's not as good as the bird cage how is the french three minute baby never seen it i feel like it was also thought of it was thought of kind of as three men in a cradle and there's actually no baby and it's just about three guys that get a cradle they just rock it it's all in a Walmart Francis Weber is this one guy who eight separate films that he either wrote or directed got remade between 1980 and 2010

that must be weird for you yes I didn't know this but apparently the man with one red shoe that's a remake of Birdcage. The Toy. Remember that? What's The Toy?

Richard Pryor and Jackie Gleason. Rich white man buys Richard Pryor for his son. A movie that's not about slavery. Father's Day. Father's Day. Robin Williams. Billy Crystal. A disaster.

Huge flop. Wasn't Chucky originally a French movie? Child's Play. Is that the joke you're making, Ben? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. These movies are based in a sort of french thing of like isn't this weird this way this man behaves this is not correct yeah it's very man child man child and something like dinner for schmucks which is based on the

dinner game is similarly to this like dinner for schmucks is not good but opens it up the dinner game is two guys in an apartment for 90 of the running time and this is also one of those things where like this was a play that was a huge hit in paris was developed by a comedy troop ran for years got turned to a french film then remade into a movie and it's like still restaged to this day and it the movie just by design cannot stop feeling like a play even when they go to a different location yes because every scene is based on the energy of people like entering and exit it is so noises off right and when you see a great farce yeah on stage to see the timing doors and all that stuff yeah it never translates in the movie because the noises off movie doesn't work either and noise off is perfect right noise is off is

perfect i do love the movie but yes i agree yeah it makes sense uh there was another line there's another line yeah the uh i wrote down lines and i love that we have schreiber when he's like trying to he's like trying to tell a story about him meeting henry kissinger and he's like he's like i can't remember who i was there with when you're confused your past is blurred it's such a good line it's like a good line he's kind of great he's kind of i know and he's also like weirdly stunning like he looks really good in drag like he does he's kind of great he's kind of i know and he's also like weirdly stunning like he looks really good in drag like he does he's always good looking yes you're right he yeah maybe that's why they cast him like that he actually just had the look so down it is yeah he did the costume his only credit before this was a tv movie that aired the week this came out this is his first film role

of any size right and it's putting so much on him yeah he had been like a weird theater guy yeah he was like he's like a hampshire guy and his parents were hippies yeah he went to hampshire college and he went to yale drama yeah so yeah right i think this movie is like i think what i liked about it so much as a kid is that it just has such a strong feeling like it is it's like it doesn't work for the majority of the movie it's kind of annoying at times and like there's a lot of like needlessness all the time but the vibe like just re-watching i was like there is like a weird magic like autory magic in this movie that like it being in california yeah it just immediately sets up a vibe

and the visual juxtaposition between the christmas time and like the five seconds of songs that just like it's like literally a second of every song plays and it does like it trance you into like this christmas place and that they'll rework like instrumental versions of christmas standards with different like audio elements to reflect what's going on the scene yeah so there's the one that's done all in barks when they're going to the vet's office like the score isn't one musical style it's standards done in different styles reflecting where they are in the plot just oh tannenbaum she just sings oh tannenbaum on the tree it's just those words right because his name's tannenbaum yes and then like a second later like mr t. Tannenbaum. It's like, what? There's a confidence to it.

And she does have that, whatever it is, that like pixie dust. She does have that sort of just like technical skill. She's only made two LA movies and the other one is Bewitched. It's not a good zone for her. She does not seem to like LA.

No, she's been up west side lately. Are you guys going to do Bewitched? We're doing them all. We're doing them all. Okay. We're doing them all. I didn't want to hear that here's i forgot all about it it's so insane i mean it is it is the the movie that is like most resistant to following occam's razor i have ever seen right it is going so far out of its way to come up with the most complicated conceivable angle right for every

single scene but that's that we'll talk about it but right they're like we should revive bewitched and everyone's like don't do that yeah right not needed and they're like okay but what if it's so fucking complicated this convoluted high concept it's actually she's actually a witch but they're doing a reboot of rewitch right the witch no no we already said no we don't want any version right holy moly that is what it's about that's what it's about what if you did a revival of bewitched and it was an la studio but of course she actually is a witch right right yeah and the reviving bewitched but the actress actually a whole meta drama about the fact that bewitched bewitched replaced the lead actor in the middle of its run and no one ever really talks about that. So fucking

strange. I can't wait to hear you guys talk about that. I saw him in theaters ever again. And Colbert's in it. And Steve Carell's in it? Yeah, well Carell plays Colbert. We're gonna do every fucking Daily Show person on this podcast

in this miniseries. No no but that's kind of true uh carell plays paul linden yeah yeah he's like well i think kind of a perfect impression yeah it's a perfect impression holy shit i gotta see this yeah i'm excited gonna see it yeah you are forced to see for this one you actually didn't see and you just what looked at a bag of nuts yeah i looked up nuts just mix some nuts and i ate nuts um i do think just to uh i want i want to get the thesis out this take i have uh uh it is weird that they dyed steve martin's hair yeah yeah uh because everyone had accepted him as being a white-haired guy for so long there's no reasons character needs it's not like he's playing substantially younger and you're like it

it you wonder if it was because it doesn't feel like there's any i think the only i think the creative thing is like this guy is kind of full of shit that's about as good as i can give you it is so it's like yeah you all know steve martin has gray hair so this guy's full of shit he doesn't have you know he's dying his hair it is funny that most leading men are like pressured into dying their hair because they will be seen as less sort of like uh vital if they've gone gray and steve martin in this one movie where he has died hair vital right has died hair and the poster is a hat covering his hair i did not know put on his head i think to be like fyi this is a christmas but it also feels like to

be like people are having a negative reaction to him with brown hair we're covering the hair up the hair is not doing well in testing maybe that was it um if you're gonna cast a 90s a-list comedy guy in this movie someone at steve martin adjacency and i i on the record are saying i think it's probably better if you pick someone who can fall into the ensemble a little more right but of the two guys what this movie needs is more of a bill murray than a steve martin that's true because bill murray is innately sad enough that's true even when he's being an asshole yes right he's perfect right because steve martin's a dick but he's playing so high status that you're like in a movie about oddballs it just feels like he's bullying them right yeah he's not right i'm

trying to think like yeah what like robin williams would be too much right if you go maybe tim robbins yeah he might be a little more the steve but no but that's an example he might be good yeah yeah he's yeah yeah he's a good actor especially this time and in like 90s comedy mode yeah it should probably be someone like that who is like a leading man but is not such an established comedy brand that the movie has to play with the expectations of being a steve martin movie right if it's going to be someone's movie like that this is more parallel to what murray's doing in groundhog day right and he could pull that off yeah it's there's moments where you're watching his performance and he's like his eyes are landing on things too intently yes because he doesn't know what else to be doing yes he's just like playing it so straight that it's just

like his like he's his gaze is like deliberate because he's just like what what am I supposed to be looking at like right now he's doing like gary marshall dog reaction shots where he's like the joke is me going like yeah yeah there's something which is a problem in the chris scene yes yeah big problem it's also the the father of the brightness of it too is kind of unsettling like there's a feeling of him being that character in this and like that character feels so enabling of bad true bad american and things you know i don't know it's just like what is your sad like whatever that big chill like we're all like in our 30s and that's something to be sad about thing was is like such white yeah it's the boomer thing yeah yeah um do you think they cast him in father

of the bride because they're like like spencer tracy you're wearing that gray hair great baby you know like that's part of it it's just like you look older than you are and it's working like you're a good becoming a comedy grouch in the spencer tracy way exactly he was the kind of grouch where somehow he wasn't off-putting and then this movie is like a rare example even with the films that are not good that he's in this is one of the few ones where i'm like this guy's an asshole i don't want to watch him right yeah yeah but everyone else in the cast kind of like you're really good in general that there's that 90s energy to so many of those comedies which is the sort of

appealing to the boomers who are now in their 30s of like j, jeez, is this all there is? All I have is my beautiful family and my job and my money. And that's like Bringing Down the House is the worst example of that. I'm angry.

It's like, why? Bringing Down the House is that malaise tied to racism. Yeah, or in all these movies, there will be the, yes,

there's a black character, there's a gay character, and they're there to be like, I'm here to offer the perspective of an outsider, you and it's like oh great like i'm thrilled do you know that rosie perez was supposed to play the juliet lewis role uh she'd be great and i did not recognize the name but it was an actor of color who's supposed to play the Apollyon role. That'd be good. And I don't know what happened. There was also the worst written IMDb trivia fact I have ever seen for this

film. It is very quick. Let me just read it very quickly for you. Cause it is just, I mean, Rosie Perez would just be perfect because she is so, you know, she's got such good chaos energy.

Like, yeah, definitely. Although I think Juliette Lewis is good. energy. Yeah, definitely. She would have escalated things. Although I think Juliette Lewis did exactly what she needed to do. And she also was one of those actresses who, especially in the 90s when she shows up, you're like, uh-oh. Yeah, totally.

This person isn't going to be calm. She was always very fragile-ness that I think Rosie might not have. Rosie would have been like Anthony LaPaglia. They would have been both. But that would have happened too. Rosie would have fit the movie well Kadeem Hardison okay that's who was supposed

to play apparently the Felix role here's the worst written trivia fact I've ever seen he's on he was from a different world he's playing on a different world

yeah that makes sense Lepalia is the one with like especially Lepalia makes no sense of like we're all different 100%

but just like what's his character he's a tough guy like he just doesn't make sense and this is such and mean this it's gonna don't know it is kind of a criticism it's this particular kind of thing that only works in like fucking french farts stuff and when they ever they remake it and put it in here we're like what is this where it's like why is this guy swallowing the dog tranquilizers totally there is no reason for him to get off the table there is no justification whatsoever i know we didn't even need to be watching him right

he just keeps on where are we watching him in the hospital he keeps on doing shit without any internal logic just to create more conflict yeah as if he is a baby right you know as if he's like a wild animal yeah um this is the the wording uh chris farley accepted the role of chris but turned it down wow no backup sources on that but also uh the first half of that sentence negates the second half so just so weird we've come much better with liev who like plays it like an actor rather than farley where would have been the gap girl we've covered all the elements of this movie sure i have only one question. Yeah. Is it funnier if they actually just murdered Shandling

and his only crime was being annoying? Or is it funnier to have that button of like, he was the murderer that's been vaguely discussed throughout the movie, the seaside strangler. It is so weird. It is so unnecessary. Right. Well, the moment where Julia Lewis,

this is another french farce thing she's like you have to empty the gun and so she just fires a revolver wildly into a door in five different directions a couple in the ceiling a couple at the door and then the joke then you hear a buzzing and chandling was outside and he got you know i think it needs it i think it needs it because it's in a it's weird that this farce it's a farce and that's the only setup payoff in the whole movie totally right it's the only thing thatce, it's a farce. And that's the only setup payoff in the whole movie. Right. It's the only thing that comes full circle and makes you feel like this movie had a point.

It's, it is so funny though, that the cops are like, not only are you not guilty, you're a hero and you're going to get a reward. And they just look through his bag. They look through his bag and they go rope. And then somebody like walkies another guy and they're like,

congrats. It's confirmed like on the spot. It feels likelie passing the final test in willy wonka right where they're like faking her out and going like you're sentenced to being a hero also it's the energy of this like i just as i said before like when he has the gun i'm like no one's getting hurt yeah right and then when someone gets hurt i'm like this doesn't matter right This is just going to turn out to not matter. Because you're like, they can't be this flippant about it. There has to be some reason this is fine. Why does she get the money?

Shouldn't they have all split the money? Why does she get $250,000 and give us $5,000 and that's the end of that story? What a weird joke, too, where he goes, you can give us the money. That actually made me laugh. He's like, we only need $5,000. She's like, $5,000. $5, actually made me laugh. He's like, we only need five grand. She's like, five grand. Five grand. All right.

Shouldn't they have all split it? Like, that's the point of the movie, right? Is that they're all in it together at the end of the night. It's weird that like one random character, just because she has a baby, she deserves the money more. It's also a thing where it's like, you know, her inner life is, I want a better life for my child. Yeah. This guy might be kind of like a scumbag. Right.

That baby will die when he holds it. This baby will die. And then the movie is like, no, the solution is, if she's rich, everything's good. Yeah. Everyone's happy. Everything's perfect. Very 90s. Yeah, it is very 90s.

Can we play the box office game? We can play the box office game. Did this movie open outside of the top 10? Yes, 12. Crazy. So this movie opened on Christmas. December 23rd, technically 1994. Okay.

And it opened at number 12 and it made $2 million. In totality? No, total gross six. Yeah. Wait, how much was it made for? $20 million. So it was a bomb even though it wasn't that expensive. Yeah, bomb um so it just came out at christmas it's a christmas movie and audiences were like no thank you absolutely not return to sender yeah it's the only christmas

movie that doesn't get replayed there's so many bad bad no obscure cable channel there's so many bad ones nobody watches that do so number one at the box office is a huge comedy smash hit in its second week. I had no idea this was a Christmas movie. Doubtfire? No. 94.

94. It's a comedy? It's a comedy. It's not one of the It dropped 5%. It's not a Christmas. It's not themed around Christmas at all.

I don't, I guess it has, does it have Christmas in it? I guess it, Not really. Not really. Is it a family comedy? No. No, it's comedy no no it's like a

it's like a gross out comedy sort of dumb and dumber dumb oh yes right yeah huge christmas hit yeah yeah it's aspen yeah right there's sweaters yeah that's got powder baby um yeah i've seen dumb and dumber i was when i was a kid i was the biggest Jim Carrey fan obviously I was a kid he was perfect for me and that was the one I've only seen like twice for some reason that was like my I was more of like an Ace of Shroud mask liar liar kid for some reason

the mask is truly odd the mask is really really disturbingly strange it's like scary as a kid it didn't scare me at all but like it is scary and it's so Zoot Suituity it's just like what's going on like we're like a cabana what is this who's this for uh dumb and dumber has that fairly magic they had three movies in a row where they just were in a perfect zone right and then they never ever get it back again yeah you're right the early ones are silly and then me myself and irene is the is the cross over

the like he has a diagnosable disorder and itirene is the is the cross over there he has a diagnosable disorder and it's like i don't think this isn't working anymore and then they're like fine fine we're pivoting to shallow how i'm like no you shouldn't have pivoted there like right they want to do this like have our cake and eat a tooth and i think they simultaneously become like meaner and more maudlin yeah like shallow has like the burn i think it was part of them being like well we need some of the maudlin stuff that shallow has like the burn war i think it was part of them being like well we need some of the maudlin stuff that's always worked for us it's like no you can't just like wedge it in there's a crazy amount of restraint in the execution both as as directors

and as an actor of the i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired scene in dumb and dumber which is the whole reason that movie works yeah where it's like these guys are just dumb in an abstract way yeah but also there's a scene we're putting in here that's like they have actual feelings yes they have wants and dreams and desires you can root for them uh and that movie's got some like pretty sophisticated visual comedy in it yeah they used to be like pretty good visual styles yeah they're it's a great movie and then they just get sloppier and sloppier but those first three are awesome the last movie that Peter Farrelly directed

was the winner of best picture oh right I forgot I'm sorry I was wrong Roma wait what Green Book

oh right I can't ever keep that in my head I know that's why I just had to remind you guys Roma had one best picture and in fact

Green Book beat it okay number two is number two at the box office is actually growing in its seventh week wow it's another Christmas movie Green Book beat it. Okay. Number two is number two at the box office is actually growing

in its seventh week. Wow. It's another Christmas movie. More the classic like we released it at Thanksgiving. The Santa Claus? Exactly. Big hit.

Another movie I saw in theaters. Man, what a time for like this is like peak 90s studio comedy and mixed nuts is just like getting suplexed outside of the top ten.

Right. And also like but like um jim carrey tim allen like it's peak like america just has a fucking smorgasbord of white guy comedies i know we've talked about this before but it always bears repeating 94 is ace ventura the mask and dumb and dumber all three in the same year it's like february july december and it's the thing where like right like ace ventura he gets paid like it's like it's like february july december his astrological chart is crazy and it's the thing where like right like ace ventura he gets paid like it's like 100 grand 10 million 20 million or 5 million dumber is 10 the mask is like one and ace ventura is like 200 000 or something

wow and it's his salary goes up within that year as each film gets bigger and bigger. Yeah. No, I can't wait for that to happen to me. Oh, you're going to fucking, that's him. When you get that 10, Charles, number three at the box office.

Yeah. It's new this week. Okay. Completely wild that they released this film at Christmas. I saw it in theaters. It's pretty good. I mean, it rules.

Honestly, I was so excited. Yeah. It was not well received. No., it rules. Honestly, it rules. I was so excited. Yeah. It was not well received. No. Was it a family film? It's sort of a kids film. Okay. But it's an action movie. It's a kids action movie. But like,

not like in a Three Ninjas way. Well, that was going to be my guess. Yeah. It's grownups doing kids action. This is for 12-year-old boys. It's not like this is a... It's just crazy that they thought Christmas. That's the time for that. it is weird like the time for this movie is like february or whatever it stars adult it's for 12 year old boys stars a major action star

it's not an arnold nope think worse it's not stallone think worse it's not a Van Damme no it is it is it's a Van Damme comedy no it's not a comedy it is funny it is funny I don't know like which one would this be

it's like it's like my kind of movie put it this way Jean-Claude Van Damme who's from the country of Belgium is a street fighter is playing in America oh

it's a Christmas release why'd they release that at Christmas I don't know it is I mean that's infamously a screenplay

written in 18 hours I think Stephen D'Souza writer of Die Hard is like I wrote that in 18 hours and it's like if you look at it

and if you give me more cook it could have done in 12 that was slow I think Dan Hernandez when he was on the show was the one who said it

like if you view it through the prism of an 18-hour script, it's pretty strong. Like, it shows you how good the storytelling bones are in Steven D'Souza. Let's make a video game movie. Agreed, agreed, we should. What about the one with no plot that's just guys who are ethnic stereotypes

fighting each other? And they're like, great, okay, so let's start casting. First ethnic stereotype, American. Let's get get van damme that's their first decision oh god and then it was like we got this guy he's like a thai dictator i'm feeling raul juliet the end of his life he's dying during that film yeah he's really good in it he's really like into it he's really good in it and he's like dying during production he's dead by the time the film comes out he said he felt too weak to do it

he's very skinny and his son saw the script on the table and they were like dad we love Street Fighter and he was like I gotta do it

for the boys it has this scene where he gives this monologue where he's like for you when I visited your country when I visited your town it was the greatest day

of your entire life he gives this long and he's like and for me it was a Tuesday and it's so brilliant he gives his line and he's like and for me it was a Tuesday and it's so brilliant he's so good even though the movie

is dog shit that's alright I think he's good though he's so good I think he might have posthumously won the Saturn Award for best supporting actor

that's possible I mean he's a legend but also I think that's one of those movies where they were like we have a 30 million dollar budget and then someone at the studio was like

we can get Van Damme he'll cost 15 and they were like great we have a 1530 million budget. And then someone at the studio was like, we can get Van Damme, he'll cost $15 million. And they were like, great. We have a $15 million... It was like the happy birthday sign joke from Buckley. They were a big age. They were like, this movie's going to be great.

And then they hired Raul Julia. They're like, we don't have any money anymore. Wait, what are we going to do? 50% of the budget is those two actors. And everyone else in the movie is like a monster in a tech warehouse. They couldn't afford any of it. there was like hold wwe and see if anyone's like injured right now like it just wants to wear a jumpsuit what's the cheapest colored fur we can buy just shot in a hospice oh yeah number four at the box office Is just It's the greatest kind of movie for Christmas

Which is All of these are either Actually good Christmas movies Or actually the worst Christmas movies At Christmas who doesn't want to see a film About sexual power dynamics In the office and virtual reality Disclosure?

What the fuck is Christmas 94? Disclosure which is like someone walks into a studio Michael Crichton I guess and is like we all know about sexual harassment but what if a man was harassed by a woman and they're like this big Christmas

walk out Christmas this big oh boy and that they have to use a computer have you seen disclosure no there's in in the movie the office has a virtual reality filing system and so you like put on goggles to like go into it and so but you'll see physically filed digital files avatar of like a person just sliding with like demi moore's face he's just like yeah it's the weirdest harassment happens

within it right they have to replay no the harassment is just her being like hey i want to fuck you i don't know i have seen that movie here it is oh my god i love it oh you know what i have i've seen this image and not known what it's from and like dennis miller is also in it but he's just there to be like this to me more she's a hot you know it's also very weird after like a decade run of um uh michael douglas killing it as the scummiest guy in the world to be like now he's a victim right you know like all these movies like fatal attraction where it's like root for this piece of shit you know and then this one it's like he's only been done wrong

yeah there's the poster one of the one of the most oh wow that's a good poster it is insane movie that's right sexist power interesting it's a levinson michael creighton gender flipped sexual harassment office place drama with vr with vr number five at the box office is another film that i saw in theaters. It is a comedy. It is for children. It is starring a child. Is it a Mac? Is it? It's not Home Alone 2. Richie Rich.

Bingo. Okay. And the funniest thing about it is that it was styled that like the C's were like little cents. But that's really funny because like cents are not money. They're not worth it. That's true. This guy's got so many pennies.

There are no S's. The only things I remember about Richie Rich is that his father has created some sort of Mount Rushmore of the family and there's a laser. Yeah. Right.

The movie ends like North by Northwest. I remember all that and that he has a McDonald's in his house. It's the number one detail that everyone remembers. That I remember

the day I die. Wait, he's this rich? Yeah, right. I know you told me this guy's got trillions, but he's got a fucking McDonald's. The staff is just there waiting for him to show up once a day. He's fucked up. Because he opens the doors. He's not even about being rich.

He's insane. There are four registers. And there's someone at each register. They're just there all day. The best part of that movie is the singing. When they're like, well, we ain't got a barrel of money. Do you remember that? They have to sing for their life at the end.

The family. It's really good. John Larrikin's going to kill them and they all sing. Oh, yes. I do remember that now. At gunpoint, Christine Ebersole and Fred Herman. It's the best part. Here's some other movies.

You had Little Women. The 94 Little Women. That's opening this week. Christmas. You have a movie called Speechless with Michael Keaton and Gina Davis I've never seen it

it's about political speech writers there you go it's okay you've got the Wesley Snipes US martial drama Drop Zone which I have never seen

you've got Nell Jodie Foster speaking Babel language and you got a little movie called Mixed Nuts. Number 12. This might be one of the best box office games we've ever played.

It's just always so weird because now it's like, what's coming out of Christmas? A couple family movies, a couple franchise movies, you know, right? Like some cartoons. Back then, the choices that were made at christmas are so strange right like disclosure you're like i guess we need a movie for childless adults yeah i just gotta go to the theater and get so mad at to me more richie rich is i guess

macaulay culkin is the will smith of christmas now right like he's killed it a couple times at christmas you gotta release his movies then s Santa Claus has been out for the longest. It's a Thanksgiving release that's just doing well. Dumb and Dumber makes no sense as a Christmas movie. Mixed Nuts is like the worst Christmas movie. You also have Junior, which was a bomb. Right. But has only been out for a month.

It really was... It was a flop. It was in the video store like it had done well. It was. It was always hanging out. Because in that movie, it was made for video. Right it had done well it was it was always hanging out movie it was made for video right right got a big tummy yeah and dan devito's right there to be like it's a baby like he's listening and arnold's also like two for two with comedies at that point two reitman comedies that were huge and they're like here we go closing out the trilogy in this

one arnold schwarzenegger is a scientist and an everyman and people were like okay already the male pregnancy thing is going to be a lot to handle i do love this i am just a hand-picked scientist it's so my my work-life balance is out of whack my name is like john laser because the first two reitman comedies are totally playing off the fact that do you want to go get a salad the first two Reitman Schwarzenegger like he's a big guy he's weird he sounds like a robot

and then Reitman's like I'm telling you I think this guy's got a light comedic touch but in that one's high concept it's like he's pregnant okay Arnie's pregnant

he's a man men don't get pregnant okay Jingle All The Way is like he's a dad who needs to buy an action figure that's it that's where it really just does become like he's a man. Men don't get pregnant. Jingle All The Way is like, he's a dad who needs to buy an action figure. That's it.

That's where it really just does become like, he's a dad. It's tough to be a dad. Imagine that father. There's a pitch on Junior. There's a pitch on Junior that is an Arnold Schwarzenegger type gets pregnant. He's the first man to get pregnant. The movie does not acknowledge that he's an Arnold Schwarzenegger type. No, the movie is written as like hugh grant gets pregnant exactly yeah

and then they slot in arnold schwarzenegger and he's like emma thompson i'm very nervous on our first date you're very much my type of woman charles thank you so much thank you guys thank you so much i love you guys so much you don't have release dates that you can announce for no but it is all gonna come out 2020 one's some 2020 there might be some longer than that okay but there is some 2020 how many episodes you have in the can now 20 yeah 20 20 20 it's crazy 2020 for 2020 well if we can we'll add uh release dates on the description um that would be great I think that that will probably make sense and the first two

seasons will live on HBO Max right from launch from launch and the third season will come out a little later

but this is a world where things change all the time so who knows it's a great series I've said this before but it is my favorite performance that I've

ever given I agree it's your favorite performance you're really amazing in it too that was a real gift and I think've said this before but it is my favorite performance that i've ever given that was a real gift uh and i think i said this was on the show but uh you two are the only people in my entire life who said oh if this happens we're gonna write a part for you and did it that's nice because like 10 people have probably at some point after either not hiring me or having worked on a previous thing i got something for you shut the fuck up and go away and it was uh such a good part

oh yeah it was so much fun you're you're amazing you're amazing in it seriously uh in everything but it's only in this no that's the only one that matters but it was and and part of it is that the two of you are really kind people. That's nice. Who run a really nice set and treat everyone with a lot of respect and give everyone

a lot of creative freedom. And it's one of the best working experiences I ever had. That's nice. Thank you. I look forward to working with you two one day so that everything is fine

in the future. Yeah. That sounds great. Thank you for being here. Sorry for being hung over. Sorry to you for being hung over. I apologize that you are hung over. It's been real rough. I'm going to admit it. Yeah. It sounds great. Thank you for being here. Sorry for being hung over. Sorry to you for being hung over. I apologize that you are hung over. It's been real rough.

I'm going to admit it. Yeah. You made it through. I made it through. I did. It was good for me. You didn't even throw up. I've got some nasty sweats

happening that nobody knows about. You're bright green. I can feel it. But have fun sleeping it off. Thank you. One thing. Yeah. It's okay to be sad.

It's okay. And if you're feeling depressed, call and talk to somebody. That's true. They won't treat you like the characters in this movie. Exactly. And the number is 1-800-273-TALK. Is that true? Is that the Talkspace number?

No, it's the National Prevention Lifeline. For sure. You can actually call and no one will treat you like Steve Martin treats every character in this movie. Yes.

They will treat you with compassion and empathy. I'd be more likely to call if I got lifesavers on the line, to be honest. Madeline Kahn, Rita Wilson,

100%. Thank you for that post note, Ben. Yeah. And thank you all for listening. And please remember to rate, review, subscribe.

Thanks to Andrew Goodo for our social media. Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Pat Reynolds. Joe Bowen for our artwork. Tune in next week for... I think it's Michael? I don't know. I think it's the movie Michael.

Oh, fun. John Travolta as an angel. Keep vamping. I'll find out. I'm vamping, but I think that's the next week. That's a good one. Follow us on social media at Blank Check Pod on Instagram and Twitter to keep up to date with the things that we're doing, some of which are hopefully happening by the time

this episode comes out, but I can't name them directly because they are not locked in yet. And what's cool is Michael is, in fact, our next episode. Can I say the guest? Let's not in case something goes wrong boom but I think an old favorites coming back that's right we'll find out we'll find out and as always Santa Claus is a little stinker that's the French title the movie yeah which is weird that's very weird very weird Transititle the movie. Yeah. Which is weird. That's very weird. Very weird.