Blank Check with Griffin & David - More Deleted Scenes with Mike Ryan - Revenge Of The Podcast

Episode Date: November 16, 2015

Mike Ryan (Uproxx) joins Griffin and David to discuss Revenge of the Sith’s deleted scenes and special featurettes: The Chosen One and Within a Minute - The Making of Episode III. Together, they examine George’s directing style, Producer Rick McCallum’s love of catering, elevator hijinks, and the American Film Institute’s ‘Funny Times for Funny People’ list. Also, please get tickets for a special LIVE recording next monday November 23 @ Union Hall in Brooklyn: https://www.ticketfly.com/purchase/event/1000755

I will not betray the Republic. No. No. And action! If we move some more of it, as you were going up the hill, so that if he does, when he bursts into flames... No.

And cut these scenes out of the movie. I'm Griffin. I'm David. That was another sterling intro on Griffin and David present Revenge of the Podcast. This is a podcast about Revenge of the Sith, Star Wars Episode III, Revenge of the Sith, the third and final film in George Lucas' Phantom Menace trilogy. We have a special guest with us today. We definitely do.

I'm putting my arm on his shoulder right now. We've been talking to this guest about being on the show for a long time. I know. Possibly even dating back to the Phantom podcast. I think we've been trying to get his attention for a long time. A long time. Mr. Rick McCallum. Mr. Rick McCallum is here in the studio today.

I'm the man who coordinates. I can't really do a Rick McCallum impression. It's Mike Ryan of Uproxx. Hey, Mike. Film writer. I know. Rick McCallum would have been so much better. No, no.

You have a bit of the Rick. Oh, I have things to ask him. The Rick McCallum kind of, he's got sort of always like slightly unkempt hair in all of the interviews, but it's unkempt in different ways every time. It's sort of, you know. Yeah. It's haggard. Yeah.

You've got a slightly up hair. It's sort of unkem know. Yeah. You've got slightly. It's haggard. Yeah. You've got a slightly up hair. It's sort of unkempt. I just don't comb it. Yeah. I gave up. But it looks great. It was long ago. Like 10, 15 years ago.

People think it's a style. It's more just laziness. Anyway. Well, that's you, Brian Grazer, Rick McCallum. Three of the greats. Three of the greats. Yeah. Beautifully unkempt hair.

Today, we are talking about deleted scenes. We are, yes. Now- Keeping in, yeah, as we did with Attack of the Clones. As is tradition. Yeah. You might remember that that was the episode where we very quickly realized that there was not enough to talk about in the deleted scenes.

Yeah, because Attack of the Clones just had Padme's dad. We talked about that a lot, how dirty he was, and then didn't talk about that much else. What? Well, I mean, have you ever watched the Attack of the Clones deleted scenes? No. There's like a whole thing with Padme's dad,

his like visits and he meets Anakin and he talks to Anakin and he's like, what are your intentions with my daughter? They cut all of that. Who plays Padme's dad?

This random guy like from Australia. Mr. Joe Don Baker. I mean, Australia's. He would have been great. Are you kidding me? Australia's Joe Don Baker.

But he is, he's this like slovenly kind of like portly guy. And he's like at the Naboo countryside. So he's like a Klieg Lars. Yeah, but with the... Without the pathos of a Klieg Lars, you know? And he also thinks he's a Sio Bibble, if that makes sense. If that reads to you, he's carrying himself.

I know who Sio Bibble is. Oh, I know you know who he is. I'm saying if the intention... I had his action figure. Oh, God. What a figure that was. Wait, what did his action figure come with? A ComTech chip.

No, but like, was there any accessory for Sio Bibble? He might have had a staff. Could he have a staff? Could he wring his hands? He had a little cape, though. He did. The ComTech chip was the big thing. You put it in. I actually owned the ComTech chip reader. Yeah.

And what a dumb thing. Uh-huh. Like, it just lines from the movie. Well, it's great that you brought that up, because I, over the course of this podcast, have bought, I think, 70 ComTechs. Yeah, he's bought a gross of ComTech chips. I bought a gross.

I can't imagine the ComTech chip reader is that expensive of a purchase on eBay. No, you know what it honestly is that's holding me up at this point? I have almost all the ComTechs, but I'm missing a couple key ones. Are you just going to set a day aside just to like, man, I'm just going to go through these and listen. Look, I got to save something for our season finale. You know what's going to happen? You're going to go through there, and there's going to be one, maybe even on Sciobibble,

and it's going to be a line that wasn't in the movie and just changes everything. It'll be the turnkey. It'll be the final puzzle piece. Yeah. No, I'll tease this. I plan to get a ComTech reader soon, so I will be able to perhaps share some ComTech lines with our audience at the live Gryffindor Present Revenge of the Podcast finale. at the live Gryffindor Present Revenge of the Podcast finale. You're planning for a live show

to take out a ComTech chip and play tiny audio clips for the audience that I assume will be filing through the exit as you do this? I said I may do that. No spoilers. I may do that. Yeah, please come to our live show. Monday, November 23rd,

7.30pm. Huge guess. We're negotiating right now, but huge guess on the docket. It's going to be great. Comtex. I'm going to eat food on mic. I'm going to read fan fiction. I'm going to do all the things that David hates.

Yep, great. It'll be a great, great time. I was a little scared about doing another deleted scenes episode because I thought it might be a little thin, a little sweaty. But then I watched these deleted scenes. Whoa, Nelly. There's some weird stuff in there. There's some weird fucking stuff to talk about here.

On one hand, I understand why all of them were deleted. Yeah, but then if you watch the movie, you would say maybe you should delete it. Just wipe your computer hard drive. Don't keep any of this. But these scenes actually do attempt to resolve some of the issues that we've been complaining about in this movie for the last few weeks.

They add a lot of depth. Well, let's ask Mike about the movie. Okay. Because Mike. The movie or the deleted scene? Just before we get into the deleted scenes. Thoughts on the movie. Your overall impression of Revenge of the Sith.

I don't like it. Yeah, me neither. Bad movie. Bad movie. Crazy that we've done now eight episodes on it. Yeah, still don't like it. Every week we think maybe this is the week we're going to like it. Nope.

I rewatched it in honor of meeting with you two gentlemen. And we had like a 45 minute conversation on a New York City corner a few weeks ago about it. It's – I think George Lucas somehow got a memo between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith. Like, oh, man, they're just not having enough fun. So his idea of throwing fun is just the same kind of dialogue, only I'm going to smile while saying it. Yeah. Like, look at that. Having a great time.

Like, how many times does Ewan McGregor, like, smile in this movie as he delivers a stilted line? A lot of cheeky line delivery. It's true. Hello there. Big smile. Big smile. It's almost like he's, like, there's some horror of war thing going on with him because he's in the midst of, like, murder and battle. And he's always, like, grinning, kind of grinning, almost like he's overcompensating.

He's going through a disassociative episode. Exactly. Yeah, I mean, to that point, it's almost like people told him that the last two were really staid and boring. Yeah, a little stilted and dour. And so he Googled fun, and then was like, okay, smiling. Everyone's smiling in these uh stock photos when i google fun yeah oh yeah it comes on set and i say a new rule guys we're gonna have fun and from what i

understand that means smiling yeah the corners of your mouth need to be upward yeah that's what we need there's that and then there's that other scene that really kind of it pisses me off every time i see it um it's in the opening shot where Anakin Skywalker is, they're flying through all the mess and he says, here's where the fun begins. And he says it in such a terrible way, he can't deliver it with any kind of authority like anyone else can. Well, you know what scene I like is a great display of George's emphasis on fun in this movie is when they go to retrieve Emperor Palpatine,

Senator Palpatine from Greece's clutches. Chancellor. Chancellor, yeah. Go on, sorry. I picked the one that wasn't the right one. Why am I nitpicking? Go on. When they go to rescue him and he's in the chair

and then Count Dooku comes up behind them and he turns around and Count Dooku has two noisemakers and he's setting off fireworks and he's doing a little mariachi dance. It's fun. Alright, alright. I listen to all that for that. It's fun. Did you guys watch the behind the scenes

documentary about Anakin Skywalker as the Chosen One? I did watch that. Did you watch that? Yes. Okay. And it had some interesting, it really just because you were ragged on hayden who's you know bad actor bad bad in the movie bad actor bad performance does a bad job yeah uh but you really feel a lot of sympathy did you watch this uh little document it's like 15

minutes long was it on the original dvd i don't remember if it was if it's on the original dvd i have seen it at some point i have not re-watched it for today you know it's just george lucas talking about the overall arc of anakin and the prophecy informs everything he's been writing and all that. I think you can be a little bit more stronger on that, not moody. This is exactly. There's these great little snippets. See, Ben was listening. Oh, you're talking about Producer Ben, a.k.a.

Producer Ben. A.k.a. the Benducer, a.k.a. Mr. Positive, a.k. Positive aka Hello Fennel aka the Haas aka the Peeper. The Peeper himself. He was peeping on these deleted scenes and these making of and you see George Lucas directing Hayden Christensen

which I've never seen before. Pretty incredible. And it's awful. You feel so bad for Hayden Christensen. It's like walking in on your parents having sex. It's like no this isn't fun for anybody. And like there's this scene where he walks up to Hayden and he says, like,

so I've really expanded, like, the scene with you and Chancellor to give you a lot more to do. Oh, wait, I got the clip. Go right ahead. Ben's starting clips. I have rewritten. I spent the whole weekend rewriting the scene between you and Palpatine where you turn. Yeah. And I've added some more to that.

And Hayden's just like that. You do not do a very good George Lucas. No, a terrible George Lucas. You do a better one. I've added some scenes where you turn. He's difficult to do. I tried one once, and someone thought it sounded like a combination

between Kermit the Frog and Lorne Michaels. Yeah. There's a lot of Lorne Michaels in there. Wow, that is a good- It's a sort of soft-spoken- Anakin. There's a lot of Kermit there. Back when a sort of soft spoken Anakin. There's a lot of Kermit there. Back when Chevy

was on the show. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. That was great. I ruined the whole thing. You're wearing a Star Wars shirt. I ruined everything. You are wearing a Star Wars shirt. I just want to say the look in Hayden's eyes when George is saying that to him. When he's saying like I wrote for the whole

weekend to make this scene better for you. Hayden just looks so lost. And it's like, I mean, I've had the feeling when your boss comes up to you and he's like, oh, could you, you know, he's giving you nonsensical advice and you just have to be like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Yeah, no, that's fine. I'll do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right.

Like, Hayden's just obviously like, whatever. Like, let's just do it. Let's just get through this. Like, I felt very bad for Hayden for the first time in a while when you say I want more but I know I shouldn't you can turn away I want more but I

so when you're saying I know I shouldn't you're turning away well there is we'll loop around this we'll talk about some other special features. It's not his fault he got cast. It's not his fault. I mean, who would do that?

It's not his fault that he auditioned. He shouldn't have gone in. He should have known. No, of course, everyone wanted to be Anakin Skywalker. Who wouldn't take this role? I mean, of course. Well, no, I mean, I would have been scared to even audition because following the footsteps of Jake Lloyd is a thankless task.

Do you know what I'm saying? There's certain roles you don't take. I can't say anything bad about Jake Lloyd. Yeah, we all feel a little bad about Jake Lloyd. He seems like a nice little boy. He was like, what, nine? If that. Ten?

Yeah. Maybe. Poor kid. Younger, I think. He didn't know. No, I don't blame him at all. No. But I barely blame Hayden.

I blame him a little more. I blame him a little more. But you think he would have honed his craft a little bit between these movies. Yeah. Yes. That is true. Maybe we've watched a second movie and learned. He could both take an acting class.

But, you know, George is saying to him, like, oh, yeah, you know, because you're feeling bad here, so you want to turn and, like, face the window when you say, like, regret. It's just, it's like a man who just thinks he's found the computer program that explains human emotion. Your Georgie Porgie is getting very Midwestern. You're like, oh, Hayden, don't you know. Where's he from? Great question.

Where's Georgie from? He's from Modesto, California. He's in California, right? Oh, right. Yes, of course. Come on. Come on. I thought I was on the Star Wars.

A couple chumps here. I'm regretting this. We live in a long time ago galaxy far, far away. You know, the people themselves, they're just props. Yeah, we're in the galaxy. They're props. It's a silent film. Yeah, George Luke, he's from Wisconsin.

Yeah. Famous story about growing up there. There's a moment, there is an hour and 18 minute long, what they refer to as a feature-length documentary on the original DVD. Because once again, it needs to be noted, this fucking garbage Blu-ray box set removes all the special features from the DVD of any interest. So we had to go online and find YouTube clips of that. Yeah, yeah, they're all online. But there's this feature-length, quote-unquote, documentary called Within a Minute that is an hour and 18 minutes just devoted to what went into doing one minute of the Mustafar lightsaber battle sequence. And the idea is to show the enormity of a movie

and how many different people impact it. And so they go through by department by department. Yeah, it's like, oh, design, sound, editing, right? Like, yeah. And Rick McCallum, producer, is hosting the whole thing. And every time they zoom out of the grid where you see the family tree of the whole crew

and then zooms into a different part and it cuts back to him and he's like, catering is the heart and soul of a Star Wars movie. I swear to God, there's literally two minutes of him talking about catering. And he goes, if it's not for catering, not only to keep our cast and crew fed because they're working 13 hours,

but to make them feel nourished. And then they go to like someone stirring a giant pot of stew, like literally, not even fucking with you. But there are two lines that really jumped out to me. One is Rick McClellan at the beginning is explaining his own position. And he goes, I am the producer on the film. So my role is to make sure that I create the environment where George has

every single thing he needs and wants. I'm the guy to make sure that no one has to say no to him, that I create the environment where he's allowed to do it exactly. So he's the maintainer of of the bubble, basically. Right. He carefully crafts the bubble around George, so nothing can enter that could possibly be negative. Right, so this guy's a fucking dooku. Yeah, yeah. He's a dooku.

He's a dooku. He might not be a Palpatine, but it's like he's part of the problem. No, that's not the role of a... He was like, generally, that's the role of producer. And it's like, no, I think the role of producer is pretty much a push-pull kind of thing. Yeah, you push back. Right, sometimes you go, I, no, let's... The Dooku reference might be good

because he does have this aura of, this guy's in charge, where'd he come from? I've never heard of this guy before. McCollum definitely has that vibe. Yeah, this guy outsized Dooku. He just showed up and says he's the main guy, and I've never heard of him before. He fucking hosts this documentary

like he's Neil deGrasse Tyson. Like he's leading us through the journey. Yeah, who is Rick McCollum? Who's Count Dooku? He just shows up in episode two like, I'm the bad guy. Same with Grievous in this movie. I'm the bad guy now. I know you've never

heard of me before, but trust me, I'm pretty bad. If I remember correctly, Rick McCollum was a a Canadian guy who did very small-scale stuff and then became a producer on the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, which was a TV show that Lucas created. He'd done some British TV and things like that. Then he works on the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles, and then he's just in Lucasfilm. And that was so great.

One of the best. So memorable. You need to produce Star Wars. Yeah. I'm in. So yeah, he just became George's consigliere. That is what he is. Well, just quickly, guys, sidebar, what's your favorite, what would you say are your top five

favorite YIJC episodes? Oh, yeah, sorry. It's tough because there's so many good ones, right? What about that one that's set in the jazz age with old Indiana Jones and Harrison Ford and old age makeup? Well, that's the most famous one because Harrison Ford's set in the in the jazz age with old indiana jones and harrison ford and old age makeup well that's the most famous one because harrison ford's actually in it there's actually like a a an eight minute scene to start this episode where harrison ford's playing indiana jones he's got like an eye patch right no that's that's a different episode okay there's more than one of him in old age now this one it's framed it's framed around Indiana Jones as an adult, and then

he finds like a saxophone. Oh, right. He starts playing it a little bit, and he remembers. Then it flashbacks to when he's a kid at a jazz club. But it's funny, because it's Harrison Ford circa, what, 1993

or 4? Yeah, maybe even earlier. He's kind of got like a little mullet he's sort of got his duck hair yeah he's like mosquito coast hair so it would it would have been very much it would have been more sabrina era probably oh wow what about i've seen the one episode with the cgi like stained glass person i remember that no that's young sherlock holmes that's young sherlock holmes okay there we go barry levinson picture yeahinson picture. Yeah. But there is an episode where it flashes forward to old Indiana Jones. He's got an eye patch. Okay, but that was in Harrison Ford.

Which has now been retconned out. Yes. That was him too? No, no, it was not. They just got an old guy. They got an old guy, I believe. Why wouldn't they just get an old guy to begin with? Jesus Christ.

You got a young guy. It's not like it's a young Harrison Ford. Here's an alternate pitch. What if they just cast an old guy in Raiders of the Lost Ark to begin with? I like old guys. They know stuff. You know, give me a guy with some experience. Give me an adult who knows what he's talking about.

Yeah. I don't need a kid. Yeah. I don't care. I don't need another Anakin Skywalker. I don't need Hayden Christensen playing Indiana Jones. No kids. Another Rick McCollum thing.

Or, no, this was aorge quote that jumped out to me uh there's a part where they go into like him dealing with the previs on all the special effects um and he's like going over the storyboards of them so they can pre-visit out and he just goes like well i like it but we'll see what the director has to say and he keeps on saying that you're like what you're you're the director you're the director what are you talking about and then it cuts to like an interview with george like a like to the camera interview and he's like what am i doing what am i doing okay that's been editorializing here a little bit throwing in his two cents uh he goes director director and they cut to him and he goes i've asked a very good friend of mine who is a director to come give me some advice on the previs, Steven Spielberg, who's a good friend of mine and a great filmmaker.

And it just cuts back to a montage of him going like, you know, the director said that maybe. He just calls him the director? Yes. And he's giving notes on the storyboards and being like, I don't know if this is too ambitious and don't blame me. Blame the director. But he thought it would be cool if the thing flips over. Don't blame me. Blame the director.

But he thought it would be cool if the thing flips over. And then they cut back to the interview with George and he goes, it's nice because it gives me a bit of a buffer so I can just blame everything on the director so people don't get angry at me. George Lucas doesn't want people to get angry at him. Insanity. But they don't make it clear if he, oh, because he goes, well, the director's coming in on Monday to one of them. And they go, when are you going to tell us who it is? And he goes, you'll see. But you never see him referring to Spielberg by his name.

So it's unclear if he's just had everyone on his staff go like, who the fuck is this director? Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Jonathan Levine. Taylor Hackford, everybody. If you want to actually motivate people, say, hey, Spielberg thought this was a good idea. Steven fucking Spielberg. Master of visual storytelling and fucking narrative economy. Steven Spielberg. That's insane. There's also a part where he's directing special effects and they cut to an interview with him and he goes, you know, this process is very, very similar to working with actors, you know, doing special effects.

And you're like, oh, he's going to say that working on special effects is more human, you know. People think it's very technical. It's about the emotions of it. And he goes, you know, working on special effects, it's the same thing I do with actors. I tell them, okay, just a little more of this. Move your hand this way, this and that.

And he proceeds to explain how he directs actors on set. It's the most robotic, technical thing of all time. Did you happen to attend the Tribeca talk with Colbert and George Lucas? I watched it. I did not attend it. It was amazing just to hear Lucas and his mindset on this. Basically, he doesn't like dialogue.

He's like, I wanted Star Wars to be... Silent movies. Silent movies. He talks about it all the time. It's weird. The Clone Wars cartoon show. And don't use dialogue. Have you seen the Clone Wars cartoon show,

which we discussed on last week's episode? I dialogue. Have you seen the Clone Wars cartoon show which we discussed on last week's episode? I've seen maybe Not the 3D cartoon the 2D Jenny Tartakovsky cartoon. Yes, I've seen not every one

I've seen probably three fourths of them and I've seen probably 15 episodes of the other one. The other one. Each episode of the Tartakovsky series has an average

of three lines of dialogue. Right, but let's be fair those are like They're like three minutes like four minutes long. But counterpoint, I've thrown out a lot. Mad Max Fury Road is kind of what George kept on claiming he was trying to do with these movies, where it's like

it's all about motion. I don't really care about the dialogue. The dialogue's a little broad. I use it sparingly. Except he doesn't, because he uses it all the time. He uses it all the time to explain all the bullshit in his dumb universe that sucks. I hate Star Wars. And he hates emotion. He goes on like a five minute tangent about how he directs actors and special effects

and the whole time it's not like, Anakin, so think about, you know, your mother has left you this and that. He's just going like, and you know, open your eyes a little bit wider and then move the hand down further. It's a lot of exactly how to position himself. You know, you guys didn't watch it's so weird because you see this in the Hayden documentary, like him in his burn makeup.

And he's walking around all burned up and freaking people out. And Ewan McGregor comes. That sounds like a great movie. Yeah, it's good. And Ewan McGregor comes in and is like, holy shit, you look crazy. And starts tickling his chin and being like, oh, it's so weird. And you're like, these two are really cute. Like, look at these two. They have off-screen chemistry.

And even in this deleted scene, one of the deleted scenes, they're kind of cute. Elevator antics? Elevator antics. So let's get on to delete scenes. Well, it's just, where is it? And then, just one more thing on the Hayden thing, because you guys didn't watch it anyway. There's just, you see Hayden, he's just sitting, blue, blue, blue. Everything's blue around him. He's sipping from

like a jug of water jug is blue and his arms and legs are blue because he's going to be an amputee right and george is coming up to him and saying like so we need you to like flip over obi-wan and he's going to cut your leg uh do you want to do that or should a stunt guy do that and hayden's just like uh whatever i mean is my face in the shot like my my face is in the shot, I should probably do it, right? And George is just like, oh, you know, whatever you want. It's so baffling. Why isn't he just saying, like, I need you to do this.

I need you to do that. Like, I want you to do this stronger. I want you, you know. It's so passive. It's so passive. That's why I'm doing a Midwestern accent. Because he's just so polite and passive the whole time. And Hayden just looks so lost.

Last week was probably our most positive episode ever because we covered the Clone Wars series, which we love. This is very quickly becoming one of our angry episodes. I have to go back into the movie and watch him make these mistakes. He's got to jump down, and as he comes over, he's got to cut him.

Then we can do the second piece where he lands. Mike, how are you doing? What's up, guys? Hey. Thanks for being here, Mike. First, the lead scene is called Elevator Antics. Now, this was... It's like an Atari 2600 game.

It definitely sounds like one. It's a stand-up arcade game. Yeah, it's a lot of them just trying to make an elevator work. You lead two Jedis through some elevators. You have to avoid battle droids. That's what happens. They laugh. They do an impression of R2-D2, which is the weirdest thing.

What is that? Because it's so weird. Okay, we have to explain it because some people haven't watched it. They're like, oh, R2 said bleep, bleep, bleep. That means up, right? And like, no, I think it means down. I believe Obi-Wan actually says, Anakin, I'm not a protocol droid. Well, I've complained in past weeks about how little am i wrong i think you know i think you believe you're correct i've

complained about how little comedy watching it silently there is in revenge of the sith because as we all know phantom mass is a laugh fest it's a ribald chuckler attack the clones focuses on romance this film's very dry half of these deleted scenes are like out and out comedy yeah they're they're just like it's sort of their color are like rowan and martin bits are like the two of them standing around doing banter when i was first watching this it felt like something that someone involved with the movie would have taken on um conan o'brien that night as a goof a fake scene where where Nathan Lane edits himself into Revenge of the Sith. And he's like the caterer.

Or it feels like they got a bunch of kind of hacks, you know, like Bruce Valanche together. And they were like, can you just give us some funny scenes? Here's the script. Something we can put in. The movie needs some laughs. Like, come on, quickly now.

Smile. Come on, have some fun. Noisemakers. Mariachi dance. It feels like an MTV Movie Awards parody. Oh, the weirdest one, which I might be jumping ahead a little bit. That's okay. Taxi, right?

Well, let's... Shakti. Let's hold off on that. We will get to her. Yeah, that's the next one. Elevator antics. I don't know. It's just them going up the elevator.

It's after the antics end that happens. Yes. But the major conflict of elevator antics is these droids are coming after them and they're like trying to get the elevator to work and the elevator won't come and they're like, ah, never comes when you need it, do you? Like it's like this weird attempt suddenly of droids trying to make something relatable within this universe. Ah, yes.

I've waited for elevators. I'm just like Anakin Skywalker. But they're like just fucking goofing around with each other. You think about the context of where this would have fit into the movie, which is like after the opening space battle they land on Grievous' ship. And before the around with each other. You think about the context of where this would have fit into the movie, which is like after the opening space battle, they land on Grievous' ship. And before the confrontation with Grievous. Everything's really dour.

The only comedy is R2-D2 peeing gasoline and making all the droids trip. But this is very much not in line. And that really is hilarious. Oh, it's funny. I mean, it's a laugh riot. It's so funny. Especially because the droids go like, uh-oh, what?

Wasn't it ranked number eight on AFI's funniest scenes in the last hundred movies? Who's R2 peeing oil. Yeah, and then he goes pee-peeing their coke. It's really funny. But wait, I just want to get back to this thing where they do the droid, because it's like

they don't say the beeping, it's just a sound effect of the beeping inserted into their dialogue. It's like a strange Jedi power. Yes. Is that supposed to be a power? They had super speed but they never used it again. Yeah. Right. It's a strange Jedi power where they can make the sounds of an astrotech droid.

Exactly right. Exactly right. The Jedi are master impressionists. But beyond Michael Winslow. No, it's incredible. Oh, yeah. Oh, man, that's right. They would fit right in in Police Academy 4, Citizen Patrol. Like, it was amazing. Like, oh, man, put Michael Winslow and these two chokers in a movie?

No, these scenes do feel like Mission to Moscow. They do feel like just a couple Jedi's, like, shooting the shit while they're eating around. But, yeah, I mean, these are cut scenes. They weren't finished. You can tell they're unfinished. The effects are, you know. Yeah, it feels like City Under Siege. Definitely.

Let's just keep going. Operation Miami Beach is obviously a clear influence on this scene. I do like the thing that it's unfinished because they get into an elevator and there's just a little piece of, like, title, a title card that just says, numerous droids. Right. I didn't know what that meant. They're supposed to have a lot of droids behind them, but it's empty. Right. So we just have to imagine

and I kind of like that. And then they start fighting nothing. It's great. And you see like the poor guys with their sometimes their lightsabers aren't even animated.

They're sticks, yeah. And they're just kind of like what else can they do? They just sort of wave their sticks around you know and they're like I guess they'll make this look cool later

but it looks so lame. Well the reason I bring it up is that look it wasn't a final mix. Who knows what the final intention was? You make movies look better in post-production. But the way George shot it, Hayden Christensen goes, oh, yeah, R2 was like, and then he opens his mouth, and then they overlay just audio from R2-D2. Like, his intention was, it might have been a little cleaner, but his intention was they just play the actual sounds.

So they're master impressionists. Also, I did note this last week, and I should have, and I'll note it again today, you know, if we need to hold your hand for this. These delete scenes are available on YouTube. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just go on YouTube and go watch The Clone Wars and watch all the stuff we're talking about. Yeah, for Disney or whoever owns the rights to these these days, maybe it's still Fox. Like, there's no litigiousness, clearly. They're just happy to have them.

Weirdly defined. This deleted scene has three million views on YouTube, which is kind of insane. Weirdly easy to find. And super cut. All the deleted scenes together. So next scene is the Shaak Ti scene, right? Yes. Grievous slaughters a Jedi is what it's called.

Now, this is a direct continuation. He's just making R2-D2 noises for us. This is crazy. Mike Ryan just opened his mouth, and these noises are coming out of his mouth perfectly. Master impressionist. I'm going to try this. Hold on. He's not moving his lips. His throat is just.

So, David, when I was trying to come here. And then. That's what the scene's like. Yep, that's exactly what it's like. Except you can't see that Mike was opening his mouth, sort of just like... And those noises. This is a cool phone cover you have. It's an iPhone 6.

Have you not seen those before? Mike Ryan's wearing a Star Wars t-shirt. He's got an RTD2 phone. He's ready. And he's gotten card trader notifications since this episode began. You hear those sound effects. That's true, actually. He's trading cards.

This scene is fascinating because it's a direct continuation of the end of the Clone Wars series. The end made Clone Wars series. Right. Where Shaak Ti is trying to get Palpatine to safety and she's facing off against Grievous. Is that why they cut it? Because they're going to put it in the Clone Wars? No, the Clone Wars leads right into this. Yeah.

It concludes with Shaak Ti on the ship with Grievous trying to rescue Palpatine. But I saw it in the original animated version. They actually did this scene. Maybe they did. Well, it's not in the final cut of it. You kind of wonder, like, did Shaak Ti get away or whatever. So Shaak Ti, for people who can't

I mean, I don't know. Candy Stripe, Barbershop Pull. She's got Barbershop Pulls, sort of tendrils. Red and white face. A red face. She's kneeling. She's being Well, they get off the elevator, finally. Yeah, after all the antics. After some antics. This delete scene is essentially continuous with the last deleted scene.

Yeah, and she's like she's standing there and Grievous is standing over her and she's like, she's standing there, and Grievous is standing over her, and she's like, I failed you, and Grievous is like, Master Kenobi! Welcome! That's Watu. No, no, he can do Watu. Yeah, Watu. That's my Watu.

And the boy here! Grievous is more like... And he stabs her through the heart with a lightsaber. Okay, so... But then, what's interesting is... They don't react emotionally at all. They don't react emotionally at all. This is their friend and co-worker.

And then they do schtick. A lot of schtick. Like, it's bizarre. Because they do this whole bit with silent movie... Yes. Like, where are we going, Mr. Ham? I don't know, Mr. Spam. Well, they do these, like... You know, Anakin, like, Mr. Spam. Well, they do these, like,

you know, Anakin, like, rubs his nose, and Obi-Wan's like, no, surely not. Too many droids for that. And Anakin's like, ooh, maybe like, brushes his eyebrow. Yeah, they have third base coach. It's exactly what it is. It's baseball signs. There's a point where Obi-Wan goes, what if we, and he teach that at the Jedi Temple.

Yeah, exactly. Now, here are signs. Keep calm in all of Jedi Temple. Yeah, exactly. Now, here are our signs. Keep calm in all of your emotions. Block laser fire with your lightsaber signs. Don't forget the semaphore, the weird face semaphore. Obi-Wan should have said, I'm not going to steal a bait. Obi-Wan at one point literally goes, no, how about, and he twirls his mustache. He twirls one quarter of his mustache.

A famed Jedi has been stabbed through the heart in front of them. And her last words were like, I'm sorry I failed you. It's sad. And they're like, let's do this. Neither of these fellows have any sense of urgency. Nope. They might get stabbed through the heart at any moment.

They sort of say like, oh, you're going to regret that, Grievous. They No, they sort of say like, oh, you're gonna regret that, Grievous. You know, they have some tossed off line about like, oh, no, no, no, bad move, buddy. Bad move. Shouldn't have killed our friend right in front of us. We don't like that. In three movies. No, no, no. Three separate films. We have seen how many Jedi

battles? Numerous. Not once have we seen them having to give each other silent physical signals to planet. They just get in there and they fuck shit up that's part of the thing is like oh the jedi's just like have their act and i feel like she i've seen jedi in worse predicament than her yeah and she just sat there and like what are you gonna do it's the weird problem there's three jedi in the room at that point i know it's the weird jedi problem where like since they've done such outrageous things in the past, you just cannot believe it when they die.

Like, why isn't she, yeah, just force-blasting people away or whatever? Well, it's funny because, like, there's a scene in the end. Or stand up and walk away down the hall. Do a little somersault. Yeah. Go towards your friends. Right, get in that elevator. There's a scene in Elevator Antics where...

Well, in Elevator Antics, the doors... I can't believe it's called elevator antics. The doors open at one point. They're on the wrong floor and it's all battle doors just shooting around. And they're like nonchalantly just deflecting, deflect, deflect, deflect, deflect. But then Order 66 comes and it's like, oh no, not

laser fire. I'm dead. We didn't see it coming. That was the difference. Here's another thing. They're standing around. I felt like I was hallucinating watching them giving the signals. I actually thought I was hallucinating. This has never been done before. Never been done. There's never been any mention of secret Jedi face touching.

Your father wanted you to have this when you're older. And learn a few signs. This means cold through the floor. There's a moment here. Yeah, wait. They're doing all the signals. They're doing the signals. Yeah, wait. They're doing all the signals. They're doing the signals. And General Grievous

is just standing there watching them. Why doesn't General Grievous just walk up to them and chop their heads off? He could do anything. He's surrounded by a bunch of droids

and he's just watching them go, no, not that. Okay, well maybe this explains why while at the end of the movie, Obi-Wan lets General Grievous take his little cape off,

fire up all four lightsabers, daring into it. It's like, well, you did me a solid. Quit pro quo. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you. You let me cut through the floor there. Let's be gentlemen and lose each other. Anakin finally, I'm trying to, okay, so here's Obi-Wan's twirling his mustache, and Anakin's

like, too many droids, and Obi-Wan's like, oh, I hadn't thought of that, which is weird. And then Anakin brushes his eyebrow with one finger, and Obi-Wan's like oh I hadn't thought of that which is weird and then Anakin brushes his eyebrow with one finger and Obi-Wan's like oh yes exactly right and then they cut a hole through the floor like Kate Beckinsale shooting through the floor in Underworld they cut like a perfect circle they fall into thank you

they fall into a gas tank which seems really gross and Grievous is like don't shoot the gas tank you'll blow the whole fucking ship. Which is weird because they just dropped a hot segment of floor into the gas tank, which you would feel like is a problem. Oh, it's searing metal. Yeah, like surely that would ignite everything anyway. Well, and the other thing is he's going like, wait, wait, hold.

Don't act. Don't shoot. Like they're just about to shoot. And it's like, I wouldn't worry that they're going to be too quick to shoot. They just watch them fucking rub each other's faces for five minutes. These guys aren't quick to act on anything. Anyway, and then they literally, and again, remember, Shaak Ti just died. They just stroll through this gas tank. Yeah.

And, yeah, just doop, doop, doop. And then they kind of crawl out of a hole. Yeah. And Anakin seals it up. yeah just dupe dupe dupe and then they kind of crawl out of a hole yeah and Anakin seals it up and Obi-Wan's like you didn't seal it up well enough but then he did and Obi-Wan's like whoop I was wrong anyway let's go yeah and then Obi-Wan says where's the beef

and Anakin says what's up it's just fucking do you remember this stuff Mike you look somewhat quizzical yeah I remember it. It honestly does feel like he brought in Valanche to do Punch-Up. Yeah, look at this. There's like a weird Star Trek Jeffreys tune that they crawl through.

They almost barely get through there. Yeah, and I guess there's some droids coming after them. Yeah, but a little too late. I've never seen a scene lack more danger. The only thing that's interesting about this scene is that it is clearly a real set. So they did build something. They're in a water tank, yeah.

And it seems like pretty annoying for Hayden and Obi-Wan. Yeah, he didn't seem happy about it. Oh, the gas is coming. Here comes a droid. And then Anakin like seals, he sort of cauterizes it with his lightsaber and they stand there and Obi-Wan's like

that's not gonna work then get the fuck out of the way and then there's a huge explosion it does work and Obi-Wan's like oh good job anyway okay next deleted scene uh yeah but let's yeah you have more to say about this one?

the next deleted scene is called changes to the constitution oh this isn't Tentacut Follies what say about this one? No, the next deleted scene is called Changes to the Constitution Oh, this isn't Titicut Follies? What's the next one? The Ziegfeld Review? Yeah, Frederick Wiseman did a lot of Pickup work on it He was the second AD on Revenge of the Sith Did you guys not know that? What's this one?

Changes to the Constitution I don't know what that means What was the scene? It's the beginning of several Elevator Antics speaks for itself I guess Changes to the Constitution does too It's the beginning of several... Elevator Antics speaks for itself. I guess Changes to the Constitution does too, but I don't remember that. It's the beginning of several scenes with Palpatine, I guess deepening both Palpatine's relationship with Anakin

and kind of giving a little more context to the idea of Amidala as the head of some sort of section of the Senate who's kind of anti-Palpatine and anti-war. I thought that scene comes later. It does come later, but they're all sort of strung together. There's not much to say about this one. Hard pass. I'm with you on this. Like, nothing funny here. It's just

Anakin and Palpatine chatting, and Palpatine being like... This was a good cut. This was a good cut. This was a good cut. I mean, this is probably one of the scenes where George Lucas is going up to Hayden being like, I worked all weekend and wrote you some nice dialogue, you know. You said you wanted more dialogue. I wrote you some dialogue.

Hope you like it. But I think it's literally just Palpatine being like, I mean, my opinion is that the Senate should be like complete dictatorship and I should do whatever I want. And Anakin's like, I agree. Yeah, okay. So we're like, okay, we get it. Palpatine's up to no good.

Next scene. The next scene is called A Pl to destroy the jedi okay question mark and is yoda chatting with obi-wan and mace windu about how like the palpatine is surrounded by the force and is like something crazy is happening in the force, and we should probably just arrest him, and Yoda's like, we need proof. Which is, that's the whole scene. I love that they're chatting in my high school dining room. Yeah, it is. Like my house, the house I grew up in the suburbs.

Look at this clustered yellow floor. It is the vilest floor in the world. With the blinds kind of closed. Yeah, it's that weird meeting room where they all sit on giant ottomans. They're having supper. I guess so. And I just, this is, I mean, there are scenes like this in the movie. Yeah.

But big difference. This is a scene where the guys are actually ahead of the plot. Yeah, they're saying Palpatine is surrounded by the evil force, which is totally shifting like massively. So for the last like five months that we've been doing this podcast, we keep saying, why aren't the Jedi's wiser to what's going on? And George actually wrote and shot a scene in which they're a little ahead of the curve and they decide to cut it out because who needs it? Well, also because Yoda just is like, yeah, well, back up, guys. Like, even if your magic powers have totally detected that this evil guy is taking over the galaxy, we need some

concrete proof. He's like the lieutenant in a cop movie where he's like, come on, you gotta get me some evidence. Follow the money. Don't you think it'd be better though to include a scene in which they are hip to what's happening, but choose not to act yet, as opposed to just being totally

unaware? I guess so i feel like this should have been how do you feel about the jedi conspiracy deleted scene about cypher deus remember that guy yes fucking cypher deus well that's the thing you're just like we need some proof and it's like well how about the fact that one of the jedis ordered the whole clone army has no one ever talked about that you know has no one ever tried to figure out exactly how that went down this one this is very frustrating frustrating because this is one of the best scenes in the movie. This is called a stirring in the Senate, a.k.a. Bale's office. Yes, so we're in Bale Organa's very sumptuous mission.

Wait, if this is Bale's office, why is Bale sitting like he's visiting? He is sitting like he's visiting. He wants to make people feel at home. He doesn't get to the conference table. I is sitting like he's visiting. He wants to make people feel at home. Okay, it's just like a conference table. I always thought it was, okay, I read it as like, it was, they owned it. This was my office.

Well, they've got nice recliners here. Right, he's got a chair. He's got a chair. It's like he had to pull it up. Mon Mothma is there, and Padme is there. There's a robot servant. Quick sidebar,

three of the actors in this scene, including Mon Mothma, are people who in performance review we went, I don't remember this person being in a movie. Yeah, so it's mostly from this. We gave them passes or fails not having seen it. Mostly on their headshots. Let's also mention this is the start of a series of deleted scenes in which

Padme is dolazalling pretty hard. Oh my god. Well, there's one scene. Okay, so you should probably explain. I have a theory. Especially in Attack of the Clones. In Attack of the Clones, Padme appears. She's one scene, okay, so you should probably explain. I have a theory. Especially in Attack of the Clones. In Attack of the Clones, Padme appears. She's significantly darker, which I think is a combination of filming in Australia for the first time as opposed to London.

And also weird makeup lighting choices and the new digital technology that hadn't quite figured out human flesh tones yet. And Padme is dressed in is dressed in like what looks like like African ceremonial garb. Yeah. And her face is bronzed. She looks like Rachel Dolezal. She looks like Rachel Dolezal. That's what we're saying.

And so I've been on this Padme Dolezal kick of how often in the films she looks like she's trying to be transracial. And it's not so much in this scene, but there's one scene where her... I'm going to sip this one up. Yeah, please. There's one scene where her headdress

isn't just dreadlocked. She literally has dreadlocked. And it's... I feel ambushed a little with this one up. There's one scene where her headdress isn't just dreadlocked. She literally has dreadlocks. I feel ambushed a little with this one. No, no, no. You don't have to say anything. I'm saying it. I'm following my own story.

I need some time to process this. Process it. Look, when he came to me with it, I was like, what are you talking about? You're crazy. You're angry. Shut up. Stop talking about it. I was like, you're just, because that's in the news right now. But then I watched it again and I'm like, well, well.

Anyway. But onto this scene. What do we think of this scene? I love this scene. It's defining. I do. It's great. It's great.

It's defining the opposition in the Senate. This is what I like in this scene. They're setting up this idea that Bail Organa is leading a charge of- Democracy. Like-minded people. He says- We're not going to put up with it. He's like, we're going to preserve democracy in this galaxy.

Yeah. Even if it's like all fucked up. Yeah. Right now. And Padme is like really. She looks ridiculous. You have to admit she looks ridiculous right now. She looks ridiculous.

I think she looks stunning. She's a beautiful lady. She looks ridiculous. Mon Mothma is wearing. Is that headgear? I don't know their native. She's got like Beats headphones on. I don't know the native customs of wherever Mon Mothma is from.

Beats headphones on her ears but also on her forehead. She looks like us right now. She does look like us right now. That's a fair guess. Oh, wait. She looks better than us. Come on. I love that you're making fun of her because she has headphones on.

Look at her. Oh, what a nerd. Well, it's a little rude. She could be listening to this meeting. They could be doing a podcast about, well, we're going to start the Rebel Lions. She's listening to a podcast. Why don't we record it? She's listening to all things considered. She's the only one that's going to sound good

yeah is this sort of the NPR crowd in the galactic center no question I have some concerns about what's happening right now there's unquestionably a Whole Foods on Alderaan right are they on Alderaan is that where this is supposed to be

this isn't on Coruscant I think he's from the planet Alderaan, right? Are they on Alderaan? Is that where this is supposed to be? This isn't on Coruscant? I think he's from the planet Alderaan, right? No, he is. They're all big fans of Wait, Wait, Ichuta. That was stupid. I'm sorry. That was great. I should be banned. Padme has a lot of agency here. And is it this scene where

they're talking about it, about their plans to start this group, and they go, if we're going to be successful, we have to be secret. If you're ready to not about their plans to start this group and they go if we're gonna be successful we have to be secret if you're ready to not talk about this to anyone including your family yeah so it's right it's setting up

a little more of a conflict with her and Anakin that's less one sided right because we talked about this earlier but like the movie gives Padme nothing to do no agency

she just spent a lot of time in her apartment waiting for Anakin to show up just waits for Anakin she cries that's it like she you know

and here like you're saying, they're planting the seeds of rebellion, which is the name of the next scene. Yeah. Here's C-3PO, who's not in the movie, basically. Yeah. Totally different hairstyle.

Yeah, it looks good here. This is her apartment. Yeah. So this is just another scene kind of following on from the same threat, right? Yeah. Yeah. But it is-

Marmoth was taken off the headphone. Yeah. But let's point this out. There are like four deleted scenes focusing on Padme. Oh, and that's Bai Ling. Yeah, which is really weird. Did you see her?

Because she's not in the first meeting and not in the third meeting, but she's in this one. Wait, come on. Get back to Bai Ling. Did you notice Bai Ling, Mike? I did not. But let's...

This is another major complaint we've had across this movie is that Padme is given nothing to do, and it turns out they shot an entire plot line for her. Like an entire subplot. Oh, there she is. That's by the way. That they removed.

Yeah, they took it out. Yeah. I mean, the movie is like two hours, 25 minutes. Yeah, I could suggest. They had to cut something. 45 minutes that could be. I agree. What about R2-Ping?

Cut that. You don't get on AFI's. That's true. It's true. It's a funny scene. It's a funny scene. It's a funny people or whatever it's called. Yeah, AFI's funny times for funny people or whatever it's called. Yeah, it's called funny times for funny people. That's what it's called.

Mike's just dying at that. They're smiling. She has a whole line. This drives me crazy, though. Ace Smith is getting a lot more to play. He does kind of look like Mussolini, though. What is this uniform he's got with the epaulets? I like that.

Bale's a solid name. Bale's a good name. Bale's a good name. And Organa's kind of a cool name, too. And then there's Confronting the Chancellor. These scenes all follow on each other, and I assume would have been kind of part of Jar Jar's in this one. Yeah.

Would have been part of sort of interspersed just against the other plot lines. Rather than not seeing Padme for 40 minutes. Speaking of funny times for funny people, yeah, Jar Jar's in this one. Yeah. Would have been part of, like, sort of interspersed just, you know, against the other plot lines. Rather than not seeing Padme for 40 minutes. Speaking of funny times for funny people. Oh, what a guy. Yeah, Jar Jar. I mean, that's what he's, you know, that's what makes Phantom Menace such a ribald comedy. On the DVD release of AFI's Funny Times for Funny People, it's Jar Jar Binks. Yeah.

They don't give Jar Jar any gags in this scene, though. Yeah, he can fall over. Is he friends with the calamari man? Yeah, there's an awesome fucking, like, crustacean. So cool. This scene is them coming to Palpatine and trying to, like— Is he friends with the calamari man? Yeah, there's an awesome fucking crustacean. So cool. This scene is them coming to Palpatine and trying to level with him. Whose friends?

Jar Jar and the calamari man. Probably, right? I mean, I don't want to cast any kind of aspersions on, you know, frog aliens tend to hang out with each other. But, you know, I mean, I'm sure they have a lot. We're aquatic folk, you know? Yeah. Game recognized game. Yeah, they have a lot like, we're aquatic folk, you know. Yeah. Game recognized game. Yeah, they have a lot to talk about that the other group guys might not understand.

But Anakin is... This is just them saying to Palpatine, like, we don't like that you are a dictator. Yeah, we have some reservations. And see, this is the dreadlock hairstyle. Dolezal. This is a little much. Mike's just... You don't have to say

anything, Mike. But your silence speaks volumes. How's their time? What, to just switch hairstyles all the time? Right. I think wigs.

Maybe that's like an unknown racial quality to her people. Like they can just change their hair really quickly. Yeah, if you're from Naboo,

you're just really good at switching your hair up. Palpatine doesn't switch his hair. Palpatine keeps it to really quickly. Yeah, if you're from Naboo, you're just really good at switching your hair up. Palpatine doesn't switch his hair. Palpatine keeps it to a pretty even gray neat trim. He's got a nice look. He looks very good. This scene does another thing that I've been complaining about the lack of in this film for the last month, two months, is that Anakin is standing behind Palpatine.

Yeah, Anakin's with Palpatine, and he can't acknowledge his relationship with Padme in this scene. And it happens both ways, where one of them says something that strikes the other one, and then they sort of have to downplay it and stand there quietly and, like, swallow their words. And it is funny, though, because Palpatine so obviously knows what's going on.

Well, so they all leave, and Palpatine sort of, like, takes Anakin in the corner, and he's like, you should be worried about her. And he's like what? And it's like there's something she's not telling you. Would you guys like wearing robes? Yeah like I would like wearing a bathrobe. Just around? Yeah. I honestly

Important meeting? I guess so. It feels like I'd have you know worry about like tripping over my feet. Everyone that just walked out of that room is in some sort of form of a robe. Just flowing robes dragging across the floor. I think that the Star Wars universe is entirely carpeted for this reason. Like, everything's carpets. Slide. They also are all wearing socks.

Oh. It should be noted. None of them are wearing shoes. It's just socks. So do you think, like, some of the Force energy is, like, what Palpatine can do out of his hands? Like, that's like static electricity? Yeah, so he's just sort of inflating his robes around him at all times.

Yeah, he just wraps his hands on a balloon. It's gotta go somewhere. His hair sticks out. He can't be building it up, you know, you gotta let it out a little bit. Okay, well, so he's a fraud. Can we talk about the huge thing that happens in that scene? What's the huge thing that happens in that scene? Palpatine plants this seed of doubt and suspicion in Anakin's mind that actually

in some way sets up why Anakin would flip out enough at Padme to choke her. Right. Whereas in the movie it's basically... Or mad enough to knock Maitre Windu out of a... That there's a long-standing distrust. Now, I don't think the scene is like a huge success, and it

probably could have used a little more of that, but it's something. And by what measure do you think that the film is better without that seed planted? Even if the scene isn't great on its own. Is that fucking all the stuff you could cut out? I'm just playing devil's advocate here. This is like the most important scene to put into the movie.

You're showing Padme actually doing something, the Rebel Alliance forming, Palpatine stirring distrust in Anakin versus Padme, and also showing the dynamic of Padme and Anakin in public having to pretend that they're not together. This seems like everything I

wanted the whole movie. But what about Obi-Wan riding an iguana through like five layers of alien planet? This would have been the second best scene in the movie. He thinks that's the best scene. I think that's the scene you cut immediately. And Grievous riding on Doctor Doom's Wheel of Doom.

Another great scene. Remember that toy? Of's Wheel of Doom. Another great scene. Remember that toy? Of course I remember that. Another great scene. I'm glad they put that in there. Oh, I have a wheel. And don't forget when he turns into a spider scorpion. Yeah, he does turn into a spider scorpion. Those scenes should be on this deleted reel, and they should be called Iguana Antics, Wheel of Doom.

That's what we should be watching right now. This has been cut. Yeah, exactly. You're like, oh, this seems a little much. It does seem like a little much. No, speaking of a little much. All right, now, Jedi imposters at the temple. This scene's mad, though.

This scene is insane because I did not understand what was happening for a second. I had to watch it three times. The temple's on fire. There's really pre-vis sequences of Obi-Wan and Yoda. Here's like a cartoon Yoda approaching the temple and then someone who is very obviously Tamura

Morrison in a Jedi cloak yeah aka a trooper yeah a clone trooper is like comes up and is like the clones we couldn't catch him in time you know I can't do his

you know right isn't that what he says clones we couldn't catch him in time and they Yoda and Obi-Wan are not having it. They know right away, hey, I know who you are. They cut to a wide shot. It's six Tamora Morrisons wearing robes.

Right, sort of encircling them. You don't even understand what's going on. And then Obi-Wan says, you guys don't make very good Jedis. They flip out, they start shooting, they chop into bits. The idea here is that the clones are trying to infiltrate the Jedi Temple by pretending to be Jedis. Even though they all have the same face. Even though Yoda, as the head of the Jedis, would know every Jedi probably by name and face. And also, they have the Force.

Is it established that Yoda is the head of the Jedi? He seems to be the big boss, but that's a good question. I guess there's no technical... They have a council. I feel like Mace Windu has as much people as Yoda, right? It seems to be the big boss, but that's a good question. I guess there's no technical. The council is kind of the democratic. I feel like Mace Windu has as much pool as Yoda, right? Pretty much. They seem like maybe president and vice president, I would say.

You know? Yeah, or maybe it's like the Communist Party. It's like one of them is general secretary and one of them is minister of this. Yeah. But this scene is insane because we have seen how easy it was for the clones to kill the Jedi. There's no need for them to go undercover, pull a ruse.

All they needed to do was pull out a gun very slowly. Wait for someone to turn around. I'm gonna shoot you! I'm trying to figure out what the plan was there. Doesn't seem like they had much of a plan. The clones plan. Wait till they turn around. Wait till they turn around. Hey, Ayala,

look over there. And then Ayala Secure turns around and they shoot her in the back. Is that more Jedi? Yeah. Oh, look, free titties. And then Kaia DiMendi turns around and they shoot her in the back of the head. The old free titties ruse. The next scene is called... You know, Mike, the old free titties ruse.

Mike knows what I'm talking about. Mike's laughing right now. Mike agrees. Oh, man. Maybe this podcast will make AFI's... What's it called again? 100 Laughs for Funny People, Funny Times for Funny People. Funny Times for Funny People. Funny Times for Funny People. All right. The next scene is called Yoda Communes with Qui-Gon.

Now, this scene's huge. This scene gives some backstory to that random conversation Yoda has with Obi-Wan at the end of the movie. Yeah. FYI, I know all the Jedi are dead. But I talked to Qui-gon yeah i totally forgot to tell you this so here he is talking to but the voice is hilarious he's on an asteroid it's obviously not liam neeson liam neeson was yeah not available we heard interviews that he said like he just turned it down is that true well i i mean maybe because of unavailability but they

shot this scene they did a 10 thing he would come back and do some voiceover. They thought they were going to get him to do it. I think this scene was cut because he wouldn't or couldn't do it. Because this scene is visualized. It's on an asteroid. The effects are finished. It's all done. It's all CGI.

Yoda's there. Yoda's totally finished. The background's totally finished. What is this asteroid? We never see this asteroid again. It's not in the movie. No, this is the base. No, that establishing shot's there.

This is where they meet with Bail Organa at a point. Really? This is where Padme's babies are born. Oh. I'm telling you, they use the same establishing shot here. Okay, well, I don't remember it. Because it doesn't make any sense. But Yoda's sitting with his eyes closed, and there's this voice over of Qui-Gon. But it's not... He hasn't even

introduced himself. But it's a really funny voice. Yeah. He's just like, uh, hey, Yoda. It's obviously just a fill-in going, okay, I'll do this real quick. But I found a way to transcend life and death. It's a little creepy

because he's saying, like, you'll be the most powerful Jedi ever. Can we put the voice on? Because it's the funniest voice. You don't have the clip. Do you? No, I didn't pull that clip.

We could add it later. When I became one with the Force, I made a great discovery. You will learn to merge with the Force at will, but you will still retain your consciousness. You will become more powerful than any Jedi could imagine. That's supposed to be Qui-Gon Jinn. The Force. It sounds like the Apple talk. Mac talk. Qui-Gon Jinn. The Force. It sounds like Apple, the Apple talk.

MacTalk. MacTalk, yeah, where it's just like the Force. It's got this sort of like bass sound effect. You will be the most powerful Jedi. Also, he's not talking. It's like a way message or like leaving like a voicemail or something. Hey, I'm Qui-Gon. I can't get to the phone right now.

Yoda's not like, I have some questions about this. I have transcended death. I have become more powerful than you can imagine. Yoda's just sitting there. And then Organa shows up and he's like, Oh, Obi-Wan's called. Weird scene. What a weird scene.

What do you think Jimmy Smith's face looked like at the premiere of Revenge of the Sith when he's like, oh, literally every shot I'm in except one got cut. That's neat. Yeah, it's true. It is astounding how Jimmy Smith is in almost every one of these deleted scenes. Yeah, poor Smith. Because he's like fifth build on IMDb, and we were like, how did he get up that high? Clearly in the script he had a role.

Yeah. Yeah, and now it feels like a camera. Well, and he's going to take one of the kids. Like they're setting him up for big, big, big things. And this also establishes that he has a relationship with Padme. Yeah. That they were allies. I mean, all of this.

That's why Anakin was so quick to flip on Padme. Love that ship though, huh? That ship is great. No bits. That's my ship bits. And then the final thing is called Yoda exiled to Dagobah, which is this swamp planet. This is a cool planet we haven't seen before. This is like a swamp planet.

And Yoda's ship lands and he just. His ship kind of looks like Jar Jar Binks. It does in silhouette. It's got these two eye stalking. It does look like. Yeah. Maybe it was like an everlasting reminder of his old friend. They had such times together.

Those guys really hit it off. You know, but it was annoying to hang out with the two of them together because they would just crack each other up and you couldn't get a word in edgewise. I have something to say. Yoda comes out of this ship. It kind of looks like a Close Encounters type, you know, sort of. He doesn't have a bag. You mean that film directed by the director? Yeah, by the director.

The director. He doesn't have a bag. You mean that film directed by the director? Yeah, by the director. The director. He doesn't have a bag. Where's his stuff? Does he have a... Look, if you landed on this planet, wouldn't you take a look around first before you go and got your stuff? I guess so. Maybe it's upstairs.

He steps on there somewhere. Yeah. He steps out. He looks. He kind of takes a breath. It's probably in the trunk. His ship is just a chair and then a lot of blinking lights. That's all it is. That's all he packed was the chair. I bet there's a in the trunk. His ship is just a chair and then a lot of blinking lights. That's all it is.

That's all he packed was the chair. I bet there's a cabinet. Yeah. Like an overhead something for like, you know. Maybe there's some like Ikea furniture, like a Billy or a Tilda Force. Right. So he probably like, I should probably find like a suitable area to build a little house before I go back and get my stuff.

He probably brought some snacks too, at least for the travel, like a Go-Gurt or something. He probably packed a Go-Gurt. At least a toothbrush. like a Go-Gurt or something. At least a toothbrush. At least, hey, let's hope. At least a fucking toothbrush. Let's hope a fucking toothbrush. It is the weirdest thing, though, that Yoda, like, he's going to be fine. You know what I bet he has?

I bet he has a pot. Yeah, he probably has a nice pot. Do some stewing. Yeah, you got to bring a pot. Anywhere you go, you got to bring a pot. Make a Yoda stew. Make a Yoda stew. Like the caterers.

Why didn't you bring Yaddle? Where's Yaddle? Is she dead? We don't know. Yeah, we don't know. It's weird. She's in the first one, and then she never appears again. And it's weird because most of the other Jedi from the first one get a death scene in this movie. Yeah. Ghiati Mundi, Plo Kloon, all those guys.

What happened to Yaddle? The Jedi Council is not kind to aging women. I've been saying this from the get-go. It's true. Jedi Council is not kind to aging women. I've been saying this from the get-go. That's true. The Jedi Council is not kind to aging women. Padme is transracial. Everyone on Naboo is a pedophile. These are my three stumps. I'm not touching this. You hate it.

Especially, yeah. I'm stumping. Hey, what does the Jedi eat? What do Jedi eat? Is this a riddle, Ben? No. You're just wondering? Yeah, it just made me think about it. Did the show meeting ever? I don't think we ever see the Jedi eat? Is this a riddle, Ben? No. You're just wondering? Yeah, it just made me think about it.

Do they show them eating ever? I don't think we ever see the Jedi eat. Do we talk about Jedi diets? Does Obi-Wan eat at Dexter's? He doesn't. I almost said Dexter's Lab. But he obviously knows Dexter. Yeah, he goes in there.

He must go there. Yeah. But he doesn't order anything. The only scene I think where you see- Do they eat boring food because they're boring? Yeah, that's what I feel like. He gets a drink at the pub. He does.

He does. There are two eating scenes in clones. There's the one where they eat an apple. Yeah. Obi-Wan. I mean, Anakin. Right. Yeah.

Anakin levitates the fruit. Yeah. And then there's also the scene where like Anakin and Padme are trying to lay low and they go to like the soup kitchen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. For the like two seconds that they pretend to lay low. But you see them going down the line and, like, filling up their tray, and then they just talk. Food is not a much, I think because George probably just eats his meals in pill form, like, food is just not, like. In between death sticks. He injects protein under his neck.

And so that's why it expands. So this is the deleted scene, guys. I mean, it's a whole other movie with these scenes, right? Wouldn't you agree? It's still not a good movie, but it's a different movie. It's a movie. It's a little better movie. It's a more sensical movie. I don't know if it's good, but at least it does help out, like, fill in a lot of the gaps.

It wouldn't be as frustrating. It'd be like, well, I can understand why this person did this. Yeah, your criticism would more be like, oh, I don't like the acting or the visuals. Hey, why don't we talk about scenes we would have liked to add? Okay. I've got one. Everyone add a scene. Ben? The Jedi play a game of basketball.

The council puts together a basketball game. That sort of sounds like X-Men, where they'd always be like... Or Avatar. Yeah, ooh, they're playing baseball. And then we get to see them use their cool powers, like ooh, a little bit of fun, you know? But the Jedi's And then we get to see them use their cool powers. Like, ooh, a little bit of fun, you know?

But the giants aren't allowed to have fun. I think that would have been a really fun scene. All right, I'm going to play your game here a little bit. Mike just said that like, I'll play your game. Resentfully. There's this interesting character at the end that's standing next to Vader and the Emperor. What's his name? Tarkin. And in the credits, his name is Tarkin. And in the credits his name is Tarkin.

A weirdly high billing. I would have loved to get a little bit of more backstory on that guy. Who's that guy? Who are just like the suits? You know, we know the Sith, but who are the people who are just doing the menial evil day jobs? I bet he has an interesting backstory because I bet he plays like a larger role later. He makes it to the fucking podium with

Palpatine and Vader. It's the three of them. Yeah. No, I think that's a really good call. You know what? I feel he deserved a little more than a cameo. You know what would have been cool? If instead of him, Watto was just flying, hovering there. It's like Vader and Palpatine looking out at the

thing being built and then Watto's just there too. And then Vader and Watto look at each other. They both nod in acknowledgement and then stare at the Death Star. Glad you could be here. Okay, you want my- This means something to me. Do you have a deleted scene, David? I don't know.

You go ahead. This is the scene I wish was in the movie. Funny times for funny people. I mean, this scene's going to have everything. It's going to have laughs. It's going to have chills. It's going to have thrills. Wow.

You know the bar where they chase Sam Wessel to? Yeah, in the second movie. Right. Death Sticks. Right. I think that's actually, in the second movie. Right. Death Sticks. Right. I think that's actually the name of the bar. Yeah. Death Sticks.

They cut back to that bar, like in the middle of Order 66. They cut back to that bar, just to like a little palate cleanser. And like a bunch of people are drinking slumped over at the bar. They're all like pissed off. And then the DJ throws on, I want you back by the Jackson 5. And then it's just like, who hits the dance floor? Gra Gra, Watto, Tarples. All the old favorites.

TC-14. Oh, she's dead. No, she's alive. Is she rebuilt? Like, can you tell? They said, like, tape on her? Yeah. Do you remember TC-14?

She looks better than ever. So if Bebe gets rebuilt, like, of course TC-14's still alive. Of course. The donut ship blew up, though. Let's not forget. TC-14 is on the dance floor. She's dancing. She's high-fiving Gragra.

Who else do you want? Who else do I want? Tarples. Boss Nass is there. Dex. Dexter Jax. Yeah, Dexter. He's doing the worm.

Do you want, what's his name? Sleaze Bagano? You know, the Death Six guy? Well, then it cuts, and you hear a voice. Sebulba? You hear a voice? Yeah, sure. Bring in Sebulba.

Maybe some of the pod racers. Sebulba's there, but then Gragra punches Sebulba. And she's like, you're part of the problem, the fucking patriarchy. Women's rights. I'm not staying in a loveless marriage. But there are subtitles underneath that. And then you hear a voice go, hey. What about Panaka?

Fuck Panaka. No, no, no. Fuck Panaka. What happened to Panaka? Fuck Panaka. I'll say that. Fuck you. Fuck you.

Hey. Oh, you know who is there, though? Sabé, Dormé. Oh, all of them. Eirute. As force ghosts? Yeah. All there as ghosts.

Are they all dead? Is that what happened to them? Yeah, they all died. They all died. They all killed themselves. They're all decoys. Is that what happens at the end of A Queen's Reign? It's like, all right, handmaidens, march into this furnace.

No, they all got killed. Oh, wait. No, only- It's only one of them gets killed. It's only, alright, handmaidens march into this furnace. No, they all got killed. It's only one of them. It's only when Takata clones. She's really apologetic. She's like, so sorry I got killed. I didn't fail you. No, you actually did your job. Thank you for dying. This is you, man. Exactly why you're here.

Decoy. A voice says, hey. And they turn around and it's Elonsley's bag. And he's like, you guys want some death sticks? And they're like, in unison, they're like, no thanks, we're good, and then they all finger bang each other. That's my scene. No, I don't like the turn this scene took. No, I think that's fun.

Ben? I love it. Ben loves it. Yeah. It's a great scene. Finger banging adds depth to it. Right? Yeah. Because it shows that they all have respect for each other. No, and then they all, okay, then they all say no, and then you hear George Lucas go, and cut. But we're still watching, okay? We're still watching.

We're still watching. George is getting the nose. And then Hayden Christian goes, that's a good cut, guys. Thank you, guys. Hey, gang. Death sticks are no laughing matter. Yep, exactly. You know, we had some fun with it here, but in real life, you do not want to.

It's a PSA, like Kurt Cameron used to do on Grozny. And his speeder blashes by and it says, the in real life you do not want to... It's a PSA like Kurt Cameron used to do on... His speeder blashes by and it says, the more you know. Something like that. It's always this casual, you hear, and cut. It'd be Hayden going, alright, thanks Steve. And you hear a bell ring. Oh, it's you.

Hey, we had some fun with death sticks here, but that is not anything you actually really want to be doing anything with. They are dangerous. It's in the name. They're deadly, and they will ruin your life. Get high on life. Finger bang your friends. And they all jump, and then they cut off mid-frame.

Yeah. And then the next scene is elevator antics. Yep, exactly. That's how I do it. Now, I've got to get going, because I've got some antics in an elevator waiting for me. And then he does the mustache twirl, maybe? Then he does the R2B. And then he's twirl, maybe? Then he does the R2 beep.

And then he's off. Anakin and Obi-Wan finger bang each other in the elevator. I would have had another scene where Yoda and Obi-Wan are confronted by clones

and they look at each other and then Yoda, like, twirls his imaginary mustache and Obi-Wan starts, like, brushing his forehead. That's what I would have done. And they start doing the hustle. Yeah.

Well, this has been a great episode. Here's the thing I want to say. We buried the lead a little bit. Oh, we did? We have a humongous guest coming next week. Mr. Rick McCallum. I hate bits. No bits. No bits. No bits. But like five or six weeks ago, I threw out we've been shitting on George Lucas a lot.

And I said, no bits. If George Lucas is listening and he wants to come on and defend himself, open invitation. He's allowed to come in the studio anytime he wants. It bits. If George Lucas is listening and he wants to come on and defend himself, open invitation. He's allowed to come in the studio anytime he wants. It turns out that George Lucas, we're here recording this podcast for the UCB Comedy Network, which has a bunch of great podcasts that you should rate, subscribe, listen to. Got it. Review.

Meanwhile, our sister business, the UCB Theater, for the last year has been doing a live talk show hosted by George Lucas. That's true. George Lucas talk show. So I think through the UCB channels, that George Lucas, you know, the host of the talk show. Of the UCB talk show. Heard that we were doing this podcast

and he's agreed to come on the show next week. So next week is going to be our penultimate episode before our live finale show. And George Lucas is going to come in the studio one-on-one. We're going to ask all the tough questions that. So next week is going to be our penultimate episode before our live finale show and George Lucas is going to come in the studio one-on-one. We're going to ask all the tough questions that you've all been waiting for. So I'm excited.

So look forward to that. Should we even maybe source some questions from the fans? If you want to send in questions, GriffinDavidPresent at gmail.com or tweet at us if you have any questions you want us to ask George. It's going to be a very, very serious,

dry interview I'm very excited for. And also, if you have fan art of Alu Gashu, Pecky, or Darth Stupid Idiot, please send it in. Mike, thanks so much for being on the show. Thanks for having me. People can follow you on Twitter. It was actually a delight. You get a free copy of Funny Times are Funny People. What a good DVD.

The AFI DVD for being on this. I don't know. You're giving it to me. I'm so happy about this. Yeah. But Mike's great. You can read him on Alproxy. Oh, I'm on Twitter. David, final thoughts? Wave of the hand. Ben, final thoughts? Elevator antics. Should have had a

banana peel scene in the antics. That would have been fun. A space banana. Yeah, a space banana. They would have been fun. That's an antics. A space banana. Yeah, a space banana. They would have been like, oh, it's a Twi'lek banana. Oops. Yeah, that would have been good.

And as always, George Lucas, the real George Lucas, is going to be on the podcast next week for real, no bets. Bye, guys. Bye.

And cut.