Blank Check with Griffin & David - Our Performance Review 2.0 - Attack Of The Podcast

Episode Date: July 29, 2015

In the sixth installment of the only podcast that exclusively talks about Attack of the Clones (formally just the Phantom Menace until discovering this sequel), Griffin and David once again examine the film’s entire cast and rate all the major players–actor by actor. From Ewan McGregor’s Obi-Wan Kenobi as most improved to Christopher Lee killing it as Count Dooku/Darth Tyranus to the amazing voice acting of Ron Falk as THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE: DEXTER JETTSTER! How do the boys rankings of some actors compare to the last review? Do their critiques take into account the once again overwhelming criticism that revolved around this film? Plus, assessing director’s body of work such as Joel Schumacher, apparently Michael Jackson wanted to be Jar Jar Binks and remember thespians don’t blink!

🎵 Are you excited? We've got three angry young men in front of us right now. Three angry young white men. We are recording. We're starting this recording an hour and a half past the hour later than usual time we scheduled to record because we could not stop fetching about stuff in the world. About our stupid lives.

You're looking at or listening to. This is three stressed out dudes. And this is going to be a fun ass episode. Oh boy. This is going to be a barrel of monkey dicks right here. I'm Griffin Newman. I'm David Sims. And this is producer Ben. AKA Ben Ducer AKA Purdue or Ben. AKA the Haas.

AKA the Poet Laureate. AKA Mr. Positive. And may I say hello fennel. Oh hey thank you. You're very welcome. And a hello, fennel, to you. This is Griffin Day Present Attack of the Podcast. Yep. A show in which we talk about the second Phantom Menace movie. Yep. Attack of the Clones.

I ate a Five Guys cheeseburger at 11.30 this morning. I haven't eaten. I ordered Domino's at 1.40. That's disgusting. How could you order Domino's? You live in New York City. I'm in a really dark place. It's like, Domino's is kind of like my heroin where's disgusting. How could you order Domino's? You live in New York City. I'm in a really dark place. It's like, Domino's is kind of like my heroin where I only do it when I want to destroy myself. Does it come with a dipping sauce?

You can order one. I didn't. I didn't. I didn't want to treat myself that nice. I didn't deserve it. I'm a piece of garbage. They have the pizza with the little hot dog crust. Oh, no, that is Pizza Hut. Little Caesar.

Oh, that's, yes, correct. Pizza Hut. That's Pizza Hut. Little Caesar. The detachable pig in blankets as the crust. Yes. Although then if you detach them, you just kind of have a cheese triangle. Like it's a little hard to eat the rest of it.

And you're just a crustless pizza. Yeah. No one would buy crustless pizza. I don't know. And that's what they're selling. They're selling crustless pizza with some free pigs in blankets. A Little Caesar now has a pretzel pizza. Ooh.

Pizza's a pretzel. Guys, we're in a terrible world. We were just talking about the fat Jew and Vine Stars. A lot of things. To be clear, we're talking about a man who self-identifies as the fat Jew. Not just a random fat Jew that we are pejoratively

referring to that way. Right. There's so many ways we could take that joke. I was trying to figure out who the funniest reference was. I don't think so. All right. There's so many ways we could take that joke. Yeah, I was trying to figure out who the funniest reference was. I don't think so. I don't know.

So welcome, yeah, to episode six of Attack of the Podcast. Attack of the Podcast. Episode, what, 17 of Griffin and David present? We did 11 plus Judging the Judge. Oh, yeah, we did. So 18. This is 18. Wow, 18. Do you realize we've done over 24 hours of it?

We should smoosh it all into one big thing that someone should listen to. Oh, before we start, we have to talk about Michael Jackson maybe playing Jar Jar Binks. I can't forget that. Yes. We do have a little housekeeping to do. Yeah, a little housekeeping. It's been two weeks. I'd like to say this one thing before we even say that.

Go ahead. At the request of HelloFennel himself, guys, please rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes. This has been 18 straight weeks of Ben telling us to do that. And you never do it. Never do it. Hey guys,

rate and review us. It's so easy. Just subscribe if you're already subscribed. Leave a comment. Let me see if I can find a review. You knock us up the charts if you do so. It's so easy to do. already subscribed leave a comment five let me see if i can find her you knock us up the the charts if you do so uh it's so easy to do you yourself i think posted two separate reviews yep we do have a perfect 10 for 10 right now is that true we have 10 five star ratings i'm a little nervous to ask people to rate because i don't i like that we we have quality over quantity

i think quantity is crucial though quantity. Quantity would be great. In terms of iTunes metrics. I don't really know, though. Yeah, definitely. We're all so angry right now. We're seething with rage. We are really. We're all boiling over.

A myriad of topics. None of which we should really be that mad about. We're not going to. No. We should probably chill out about everything. Things in our personal lives, things in the media, pixels, box office gross this weekend. We need to see Pixels I almost proposed like a halt

in Attack of the Podcast so we could just talk about Pixels maybe we'll do that next week pick and pick Pixels the litter Pixel Picks Pixel of the litter have you seen it? I have not I've been waiting to do a 10 part podcast

miniseries Jar Jar Binks actor Have you seen it? I have not. I don't need it. Yeah, we need to see it. To do a 10-part podcast. We gotta see it. Mini-series. Okay, Jar Jar Binks. Actor. Oh, yeah. Ahmed Best. So my friend Alex Barron, shout out to Alex Barron, he emailed me right away saying,

like, you guys need to talk about this on the next episode, so. He did an interview about now. He is dead. Ahmed Best? Oh, no, Ahmed Best, sorry. Michael Jackson is dead, though. Ahmed Best, the actor who gave us Jar Jar Binks,

did an interview, now looking back 16 years later on his whole experience, the sort of bile that was thrown at him. Yeah, for playing an orange frog. Right. In a bad movie. Yeah. And it was like looking back on his whole experience. It was his first acting job.

He had been a performer in Stomp. It was like his first screen role and it's a fascinating interview and he talks about it actually with a I think surprising poise and grace

and a clear eyed sense of everything it was but the big thing that came out was he said he when they were filming George Lucas brought

them to a Michael Jackson concert that sounds right so Natalie Portman and Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Bass went and they went backstage

what a crew the Mod Squad my holy trinity yeah he was gonna George went backstage. What a crew. The Mod Squad. My holy trinity. Yeah, he was going to, George Lucas' next thing was going to reboot the Mod Squad again. Only two years later with Jake Lloyd. Jake Lloyd in the Giovanni Ribisi role. Right.

Natalie Portman in the Claire Danes role. Yeah. And Ahmed Best in the Omar Epps role. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They would have killed it. Oh, of course. If only Phantom Menace had done better than being the third highest grossing film of all time

maybe that would have gotten greenlit the three elite actors of the third highest grossing film what a shout out to the Mod Squad reboot I know right the original actors

I don't even I can't even name the original actors Peggy Lipton mother of Rashida Jones oh cool I don't remember

and Lipton's Ice-T she was the mother of Lipton's Ice-T that came out of her um alright birthing canal um

just I just want to read one of our reviews Queen of the Moon says if only I could give this podcast a Portman's Dozen of Stars that's really funny I like that a lot

um Ben looks like he has notes but also is just holding up a page with a lot of doodles he's looking very intently at a page in a notebook where he's just scribbled out a bunch of words.

Okay, end of the story. So he brings him backstage to meet Michael Jackson. And he's like, Hi, this is Jake Lloyd. And, oh, nice to meet you, Jake Lloyd. And Jake Lloyd's like, oh, are you an angel? And it's like Natalie Portman. And she's like, I will not allow this committee. And he's like, nice to meet you, too.

And then he's like, um... This is all word for word from the interview. Yeah. And then he's like, uh... This is all word for word from the interview. Yeah. And then he's like, uh, Michael Jackson, uh, this is Ahmed Best. Uh, he plays Jar Jar. And Michael Jackson was like, oh. Wow, he threw shade. And Ahmed Best was like, afterwards, he was like, what was, what was up

with that? With Michael Jackson's voice dropping 17 octaves. Suddenly. And he went, uh, Michael really wanted to play Jar Jar. Insane. Now, I have a to play Jar Jar. Insane. Now, I have a quick take on this. Yes. Movie would have been better

if Michael Jackson played Jar Jar. No question. I don't think there's any question at all. Because one, any accusation of like racism or the part being bad would be washed away by like, yeah, but Michael Jackson's crazy.

Yeah. You know? He just doesn't know how people behave. Yeah, so there would be a lot less, like, uh, things you know, a lot less anger thrown around because well, you know, it's Michael Jackson, what do you expect? But it's also, and this ties into what our episode today is circling

around, circusing on. Oh yeah. This is our second. This episode's a real circus. Our second performance review. Woo! In which we review every single acting performance in Attack of the Clones. Until we get tired of going down the IMDb credits list, which is very long.

I think the big thing we talked about in the Phantom Menace performance review is that this was such a big movie. You had all these actors, various levels of established cred and very different backgrounds and everything but the big thing they had in common was i think no one wanted to question what georgie porgy was telling them to do sure here's this guy he's made massively successful movies american graffiti and all

some other yeah yeah producing anna jones films oh boy yeah um huge hits uh and so like no one's gonna stand up to him and say like i want do it this way instead Michael Jackson's a lunatic was a lunatic R.I.P. R.I.P. Mike and he would've just been like ah George I'm gonna do whatever the fuck I want

George may have just realized yeah this is not someone I'm gonna be able to direct he might've just rewritten the part and played it however he wanted to do you know why

it didn't happen? why? creative differences it sounded like it was very close to happening, except Michael Jackson wanted to do the entire performance practically. He wanted to be in front of the camera, in makeup, in a suit. And George was like, no, it has to be digital. Do you want to be the voice?

And he was like, no, I don't want to be the fucking voice. That's how he said it. Yeah. His voice dropped another octave. No, I don't want to be the fucking voice. I don't want to be the fucking voice. I don't want to be the fucking voice. See you later, George. Michael Jackson, what a weirdo.

I still think he would have been better. No question he would have been better. Yeah, RIP Mike. But this interview made me realize it was perhaps not Ahmed Best's fault. He was told, hey, you're in Star Wars, episode one, the Phantom Masters could be the start of a massive franchise. Who knows how many films he's going to make after this. We're going to make a zillion toys with your frog face on it.

He's like, great, what do I have to do? And they go, just do it exactly as it's written. Yeah, right, right, right. Is that what he says? That he was just doing it as it was written? No, but I'm saying that's what he did. Well. I don't think he creatively reinterpreted it.

I think the script is written as like, oh, misa, usa, doodoo. We talked about this a lot in the last performance review. There's one more thing I want to do housekeeping. Oh. Did you watch the silent cut that was sent to us? I haven't watched it yet. Okay, but you're aware of this? Oh, of course.

I mean, I watched some of it. I didn't watch the whole thing. Mm-hmm. I'm finding it right now. I am too, because I want to get the proper title. Okay, so our friend of the show Listener Colin Scott Twitter handle ColinItQuits

With two L's in Colin Posted He didn't edit I believe it's 15 minutes long I watched I don't know Two or three minutes of it before I was like on the subway or something I I watched the whole thing. It's called Silent Attack and it was inspired by a comment

I had made that George has said that he views these as like silent movies and that the dialogue is wallpaper and it's just about the ships moving. Right. And that maybe perhaps we should put it to the test and see if the film would work. Just with the music. You strip it of color, you just have

the music and the actions, and you see if it plays like an old silent serial. I gotta say, it's kind of fucking rad. It is. It's great. He picked a couple scenes. So we're not getting the whole movie, and I don't know if every single scene would work, but he picked the opening. He's got the title, and then he has

the whole Coruscant stuff. Then he has the speeder chase, but he cuts out a lot of stuff in the middle. Sure. But there are a couple dialogue scenes where he created like inner titles, like old movie style inner titles, where you'll see the characters flap their mouths,

and then it'll cut to only the pertinent dialogue, which I will say, A, when you're just reading small clips of dialogue, the fact that the dialogue is that expository becomes less painful. Of course. And B, when you're not hearing their... Especially Hayden Christensen's dumb bronx voice but they're they're like overly emotive like hammy

like fucking faces and body language actually plays better when you're like well that was the only way they were can convey their feelings that's how the silent stars did it and the ships look great i mean maybe george has a point like maybe george just wants to be making silent films and he's just he doesn't have the courage to actually go through with it that's really funny he put it in his tell

it says we sure do a lot of banter for a silent movie but it's really I was very impressed with the cut we gotta share it out we haven't shared it out so please

Silent Attack from Colin Scott aka Colin the Quits please watch it it's incredible Colin thank you so much for that.

Now we're on to Bum-Bum-Bum-Bum Performance Review Part 2. Boom! The Star Wars movies, the Phantom Menace movies, they're constantly attacked for having shitty performances. And we're going to keep track,

as we did last time. Right, so we're going to have two columns. Good and bad. Good and bad. I'll keep a tally. Oh, you're going to keep a tally. Great. So we're going to try to make

a definitive assessment about whether or not the acting in the movie is bad. Good and bad. I'll keep a tally. Oh, you're going to keep a tally. Great. So we're going to try to make a definitive assessment about whether or not the acting in the movie is bad. Because I don't like general statements like, oh, all the acting is bad. You know? Yeah, but do you remember last time that we came close? We came really close. We have to be a little harsher this time. Yeah, we've got to be a little harsh.

Because we were saying like, oh, yeah, that guy who has one line of dialogue, he did fine. Great. And the acting in that movie is bad. It is. We can't be this. We were really worried at the end. We were like were like oh this is like 15 to 17 yeah um okay so let's let's go this is uh imdb cast imdb cast billing list okay we're gonna start with the top okay ewan mcgregor as obi-wan kenobi now we gave him we gave him a thumbs down last real big thumbs down yeah he's

real shit in phantom menace And we like him as an actor. Sure. Not all the time, but we talked about when he's good, he's great. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I like him as an actor.

He's done some really, really good performances in Phantom Menace. He's totally drowning. This movie asks a lot more of him. It does. It really kind of ups him

to the co-lead, if not the very lead. He's first build. Yeah. First build. Yeah, but he, you know. Yeah, he shoulders the B-plot. It's weird because it's the subplot kind of thing. It is but he, you know. Yeah, he shoulders the B plot. But it's all on him.

It's weird because it's the subplot kind of thing. It is all on him, though. It is all on him. You know, the other one is two leads, and he's the sole lead. But his character grows up a lot in between the two moves. Hayden Christensen has to take on a character someone else played, so he doesn't have to think about growth. He has to think about just his dumb Bronx accent.

Natalie Portman is playing six months younger in terms of actual performance than what she played in the first movie we'll talk about her but Ewan McGregor is the one guy who convincingly shows the passage of 10 years I would argue yeah and not just in the sometimes fake beard he's wearing but I think in body language and in attitude no I actually agree with you in um authority I think that he's the most relaxing performer to watch of the major performers where you're like, okay this doesn't feel like completely

stilted and like almost awkward to watch. Save for a couple choice moments of just weirdness. And the accent which he's still struggling with it. It does feel like it's just like he's trying struggling with it. It does feel like...

It does feel like he's trying to imitate an actor. Yeah. Yeah. It definitely feels like he's trying to imitate an older style of... Like a more 40s or 50s sort of... Yeah. Sort of like the great British screen actors. Yeah.

Pimlico. Sorry, not Pimlico. What's it called? Ealing Studios type actor. Yeah. Right. Yes. Right.

Like maybe Peter Sellers is what he's trying to play. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. There's some of the Ealing comedies. This is all had for him now. He knows how fucking George works. He knows how little he's going to be given. He knows he's playing off the green screen.

He feels the most comfortable with it's still not great, but with the bad dialogue and the green screen, I think he's got a handle on it. I'll say it's a good performance though. I want to vote for it to be a good performance. Let's give him a good. I don't think it's a good performance though. I want to vote for it to be a good performance. Let's give him a good. I don't think it's a great character, but I think he's doing really good work and he definitely gets our most improved award.

Sure. It's night and day. I'm looking. What about Samuel Jackson? We'll get to him. We'll get to him. We should mention that if we don't agree, Ben has to split the tie. Ben has to split the tie, of course. They call him the tie splitter. And that's another nickname.

They do. Okay, number two. Number two, Natalie Portman as Padme. Okay. That's how she's credited, by the way, Padme. Just Padme. Not Nibiru, not Amidala, not Senator, just Padme. Just Padme, at least on IMDb.

We gave her a bad rating. I. We gave her a bad rating. I think we gave her a bad. A sympathetic bad. Yeah. In over her head. Yeah. Very strange role. And you got the dual role in Phantom.

Yes. Which is odd. Yes. The accent. The accent. The costumes. She is worse in this movie. I would agree with you.

She's worse. Now, she has, yeah, she has a lot of things going against her. She's got Hayden Christensen bringing her down. She's mostly asked to play romantic scenes, and the actors she's paired with, the two of them have no chemistry together. They have no chemistry,

and that can't all be on Hayden. Natalie, come on now. It takes two to non-tango. You know what I'm saying? I'm trying to, okay, now I'm interested. I'm trying to think of Natalie Portman's like romantic partners in films over the years. So we've got Chris Hemsworth in the Thor movies,

who I think she has a fair amount of chemistry with. By then she's very loose, very light. She's goofy in those movies, she's fun. Has a lot of fun with that stuff. But she's also playing a very specific type of chemistry with him, which is that she's like the 13-year-old girl in love with the high school quarterback. Like her whole attitude in those movies is that she's like the 13 year old girl in love with the high school quarterback like her whole attitude in those movies that she's just like sort of like enamored of him yeah goofy head over heels but she's very fun in them i think she's fun in them

yeah um so i'm trying to think we've got your highness remember that movie right uh not a ton of chemistry no no no strings attached with ashton Ashton Kutch. I think she's kind of pulling that one over. I think so too. I think she's actually doing some heavy lifting on that one. Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. Because I feel like there hasn't, this is what I'm saying, I don't think there's been a ton closer of

Yeah, but that's like a movie about people who hate each other. That's like a movie about people just being angry at each other and ostensibly loving each other. Other Berlin Girl is one of the worst movies ever made. Never seen that. Chemistry with Eric Bana. She might not have a... Yeah.

She doesn't have a lot of straight up romantic roles. Outside of No Strings Attached and the Thor movies. Yeah. Does she have a romantic interest in Where the Heart Is? If she does, it's a minor plot line. I mean, that's really... Because mostly she's having that baby. Yeah.

I don't know. I haven't seen that movie. Or if I have, I forgot it. If she does, it's a minor one. That's all I'm saying. So... I mean, look, that might not be her strong suit. It might not, but it definitely is not her strong suit

in Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones. Yeah, I do want to give... And that's basically all she does, like you say. I like her in the action scene at the end. And I've spoken about this. I do like her performance in that final scene where she finally tells him that she loves him before they go out into the arena. I do too. I think it plays like a young i think that one scene the actual subtext of who

this character is and what she's gone through actually comes to the fore in the performance where it's like this is a little girl who's thrown into crazy circumstances and he's so overwhelmed by everything and i think in that scene she plays it in this very very sweet genuine kind of way where she's just like a girl being like, I just love you. And she can't stop crying. Right. It doesn't make sense why she loves him. No. But she convincingly plays someone who is in love in that moment.

Okay. I like that one scene. I want to give her props to that one scene. It's not a good performance. Right. It's not good. It's not a good performance. We have to move on.

Ben, give her a no. We have to move on to Hating Christians. Bad performance. Plays Anakin Skywalker in the film. It's a bad performance. It's a terrible performance. It's a terrible performance. It's a terrible performance. It's the most ruinous performance in the film.

In Phantom, who would you give that award to? Would it be Ahmed Best or would it be Jake Lloyd? I would say Jake Lloyd. Oh, interesting. So Anakin's really the millstone in these movies. I really think this character is badly written. It's terribly written. And he's essentially- It's like they're trying to

justify some huge payoff. Yeah. But it's so baffling because he's mostly just kind of a boring, annoying little tool. He's also massively different between the two films. Yeah, it's very true. It's essentially two separate characters, both of whom suck in writing and performance. And both of whom the movie is obsessed with

and you're not totally sure why. Yeah. You're like, this is a crazy universe. Are we missing something? I don't fucking doubt it. We're definitely missing something. Yeah. Oh, my God. With both of these movies.

Yeah. Specifically to that character. I also think it's weird that these movies are so much about how powerful he is and we don't see that many examples. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you see, like, oh, he's, like, good at flying a speeder. Yeah. Yeah, but you're not, like, seeing, like, oh, he's a Jedi who's, like, really getting

a grasp on these things. It's a bad performance. It's a bad performance. We pod racer, yeah. Yeah, but you're not seeing, oh, he's a Jedi who's really getting a grasp on these things. It's a bad performance. It's a bad performance. We talk about it every episode. We don't need to talk about it anymore. Next, Christopher Lee as Count Dooku slash Darth Tyrannus.

I mean, this is a great performance. It's the best performance in the film by far. It is. There's one candidate I'd maybe throw a bum. It's the best performance. We'll get to that one. But I think this is the part, like last time I was maybe a little too effusive about Ian McDermott. I was gonna say, I mean, McDerm bum. It's the best performance. We'll get to that one. But I think this is the part, like last time I was like

maybe a little too effusive about Ian McDermott. I was going to say, I mean McDermott has less to do in it. I still maybe vote that McDermott's the best performance just because this character's so good. I think Christopher Lee

is handed the same platter of shit that everyone else gets in this movie. Really, really bad. Yeah. Like, it's like, okay, you need to walk into the room and just deliver reams of exposition. Yeah, in front of a green screen. In front of a green screen. Yeah. Like, it's like, okay, you need to walk into the room and just deliver reams of exposition. Yeah.

In front of a green screen. In front of a green screen. Right. And he's just like, yeah, watch me nail it. You have to first appear 20 minutes before the end of a two and a half hour long movie. You've been talked about the whole movie. Yeah. You walk into a room and you just start spouting exposition.

Yeah. To a suspended, non-interested, non-responsive character who's just like, you know. He's a class act. It is masterful. It's masterful. And then you're going to fight a cartoon, green old man and you're

going to make that work too. And it's like, good footwork, good form. I like that he's sort of doing more classical, sort of like because his lightsaber is shaped differently. We haven't talked about this yet. He's got this curved lightsaber. It's the same though because the blade is the same. Oh no question. But the form of how he holds it

it changes the way he fights. Design standpoint it makes no sense whatsoever. But whereas all the other lightsabers it tends to be a two handed kind of like classic sword fighting. This kind of thing. This is more like fencing. Like he's sticking the one arm-handed kind of like classic sword fighting. Yeah, sure, right, right. This kind of thing. This is more like fencing. Like he's sticking the one arm out and kind of doing that. And maybe that's to compensate for his lack of mobility.

He's an older man, but it works. It gives him more power and it actually makes him more terrifying because he's just so controlled and so old school. It's a great fucking performance. I mean, he's like turning like it's water into wine. It's water into wine. It's water into wine. It's poop into wine. It's poop great fucking performance. I mean, he's like turning like... It's water into wine. It's water into wine. It's water into wine. It's poop into wine. It's poop into...

He's turning diarrhea into poop wine. So we're... He's a good. He's a good. Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu. See, this is an interesting one. He is fifth build. Where did we land on Samuel L. Jackson last time?

I don't remember. I think we gave him a no because he's really boring and annoying. It was kind of a coin tuck. It was sort of a coin tuck, yeah, because you're kind of like... Because he's a good actor. He's got a lot of presence. Yeah, and you're like,

well, he's fine, but what is this? Yeah, the character doesn't make any fucking sense. He's like the second banana in the boring council of weirdos. And then this movie gives him a lot more to do, and I still don't know where the fuck I stand on him. Who is this guy? I kind of like him in this movie because... I like him more. I like him more. I mean, he has more to do, and I still don't know where the fuck I stand on him. Who is this guy? I kind of like him in this movie because—

I like him more. I like him more. I mean, he has more to do. So he's got some scenes with Yoda where they're kind of chatting like— A lot of like, oh boy, this is not going well for us. It sounds to me that they're like second banana and more like they're Riggs and Murda. Like they're like the two guys who are trying to solve the case. Or it's like they're like the mayor and the controller you know and they're like

just they're like they've been handed and they've been handed this like terrible situation like this budgetary nightmare and they're like how do we fix this we don't know then at the end TSM action well even that's what I'd say this movie kind of justifies his character a little more there's the line early where they go like master Yoda

known for his wisdom master Windu known for his power and it's like oh that's his role he's the line early where they go, like, Master Yoda known for his wisdom, Master Windu known for his power, and it's like, oh, that's his role. He's the fucking most powerful. He's the enforcer. He's the enforcer, but he's got the fucking skills to pay the bills. And even when he walks in and says, party's over line, which is a fucking garbage line of poo-poo dialogue.

Terrible, terrible, terrible. I do like the idea that it's like, okay, these Jedis are like, they're enforcers of the peace, but he's the guy you don't want to fuck with. Right. And he comes in and starts fucking shit up. Yeah. Like, I do like that we finally get a sense of who he is as a human being.

Sure. A little bit. Because it's a little bit. More than the last time. But then it's like, what? He's got these anger problems that he's got on lock, but like, he's like the fucking Hulk. And like, if you let him go, he's going to start cutting heads off. We giving him a good?

I don't know. I don't think so. Let's give him a bad. Step your game up. No. All right. him a good? I don't know. I don't think so. Let's give him a bad. Step your game up. No, you know what? He's fine. George writes him terribly.

He's all right. Now, where are you? Where are you on this? I think we've got to throw to Ben on this one. Wait a second, though. I think we're both tied. I think both of us are tied. I just want to say something. Samuel L. Jackson, he can be given to overacting.

There's a lot of directors, I think shoddier directors, who are just like, why don't I just cut him loose for a couple scenes? He'll rant and rave like he's done so many times, and that'll save the scene. And he doesn't do that. And another thing with him is- He's playing a character. In this movie? Yeah.

Yes. He's keeping it restrained. He has a whole thing. He's not just at one scene just like, Yes, I deserve to die and I hope they burn in hell! He doesn't do that. And I'll say he also does, like, have a tendency to... Joel Schumacher's a bad director.

Oh, Joel Schumacher's a terrible director. Of actors. Yes. And he's other things, too. I met him, though. He's very nice. I auditioned for him three times. Wow.

For which movie? Phantom? What was it called? 12. Oh, yeah. Right. Right. Yeah.

And every time I came in, he gave me completely different notes than the last time. And I just have to share this story because this is the best. Go ahead. No, please. This is my third audition for him. Right. And I was like, I guess I'm going to get some. But every time it's a different character.

Uh-huh. And the first time he goes, But they like you, and they're bringing you back. He goes, Griffin, I think you're playing it way too serious. You know, I think these people are very funny. I mean, I find these kids very humorous. So really find the humor in it. So I, like, do that. I get a callback, and I'm like, okay, man,

they want your fucking joke skills. Find the humor, and I go in, and I do the Coleridge, and he goes, you know, Griffin Griffin these are real people so we have to take them seriously right so then I get a second call back I have a third audition for each time I'm reading

maybe two or three different characters we're gonna have you read Jimmy we're gonna have you read ghost boy like whatever the character is a troubled quote unquote troubled Upper West Side rich kids in New york is the movie and so they're auditioning like every young actor in new york uh the third time i go in and i was like because i was like i need to know am i funny am i serious so i like kind of

just tried to ask like i'm just trying to figure out like what the basic tone of how you want this character to play is and he just pauses and he goes you know griff Griffin, I think asking how to act is a little like asking, you know, how to have sex. You can't really ask what you need to be doing right. You know, I think if in the moment you're just going, is this good? Does this feel good? It's not good. You just have to. You just have to go.

I see what you're saying. Have the sex. And I went, oh, all I ever do is ask people while I'm having sex with them. You said that aloud? If what I'm doing is correct, yeah. Uh-huh, that's good. Yeah, I mean, I kind of killed that moment. He went, ha-ha, okay, well, let's try.

So, yeah. But you didn't get anything. Joel Schumacher's note is that acting should be like fucking, and you shouldn't think about what you're doing and just try to make someone come. I met him at a screening. He was very nice. He was very nice, to be clear. He's so nice.

He has a great reputation. Yeah. Like, actors love him. Yeah. Which is why I think he, was very nice to be clear. He's so nice. He has a great reputation. Actors love him, which is why I think he brings in things on budget, on time. I think he's a solid bad director. He's made some decent movies, but he's made a lot of movies. I like Falling Down. I know it's a kind of a lightning rod of a film.

But I actually think it's well made. I like Tigerland. I think Tigerland is well made. I kind of like A Time to Kill as much as I was just ragging on it. It's kind of a fun movie. For those of you tuning in, this is our Joel Schumacher performance review in which we go through every Joel Schumacher film. I've seen Batman Forever probably 25 times. Yeah, I hate

that movie. It's terrible. I've seen Batman and Robin more than Batman Forever. Batman Forever I just can't even put up with. Oh, I've seen Batman Forever so many times because I loved it when I was 10 years old. Yeah, I hate that. Yeah, we should do a Batman Forever episode. Anyway. So that was another installment of Griffin and David kind of alienating themselves to the industry.

But I met him once at a London Film Festival screening of 21 Grams, and he was the nicest. I met him. He's like a director I've met who doesn't make great movies but was so nice. And another one is Chris Columbus. Oh, yeah. Chris Columbus seems like a director I've met who doesn't doesn't make great movies but was so nice and another one is Chris Columbus oh yeah Chris Columbus seems like a real match I met him at the DVD release

of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone yeah Sorcerer's Stone in this country and my mother knew him because she wrote about those movies for the Daily News when we lived in Britain

and you know she said he's really nice and he's really really nice I will say this does fit into Ben you were saying we're alienating the audience this does fit into what i think is becoming the larger overarching narrative of griffin david presents which our friend ramona pointed out to us which is just

uh people who will now never hire griffin right right right i'm fine you're totally i'm a critic you're a critic this is your job ben's just a fucking ben ducerer he's got it on lock it's all on you I'm not booking Pixels 2 anymore no one's booking Pixels 2 yeah Pixels 2 isn't

booking Pixels 2 alright why were we talking about Joel Schumacher because of Samuel Jackson's performance in A Tentacle I was gonna say the other

you were saying he can just yell a lot and throw down the force the other thing he can do is load on a bunch of ticks yeah when he's given an underwritten character

he just fucking designs it and comes up with some weird look and a bunch of weird affectations at the expense of figuring out an actual human being underneath any of that. Sure. And this is, I mean, one could argue to a fault, but in a way respectable, one of the least ticky performances I've ever seen. He's not doing anything. Stray as an arrow.

It's all look. It's all look. He looks great. It's all presence. He carries the robes off better than anyone. He's not doing anything. Stray is narrow. It's all look. It's all look. He looks great. It's all presence. He carries the robes off better than anyone. He is bald. You know,

because sometimes Samuel Jackson will have like a weird beard or he'll have some sort of funny hairdo. Yeah, he does fucking design elements to make up for the lack of a character.

I would love to do a whole feature on the glasses Samuel Jackson has worn in various movies. You know, Samuel Jackson, who has no hair,

has a hair guy in every single movie. He's like, I want to do something different. He's got a guy where it's just like, can we do something with my facial hair, with the color, with what I do have, like every movie. Like Jeremy Piven and a few other actors, he's an actor who has gotten younger as the time has passed. No question. I think that's now reversing because he's actually quite old now. Now he's like, yeah. Mace Windu, he looks like he could be 35.

He's probably like 55 or something. But, you know, whereas Jungle Fever 20 years ago, he looks like he's 100 years old. Yeah, fuck it. I like his performance. The more we talk about it. We love Sam Jackson. I like Sam Jackson in this movie. He's the best. He's doing good work.

Anyway, Sam Jackson gets a yes. He gets a yes. Next, Frank Oz as Yoda. I mean, once again, what the fuck is this character? Why is Frank Oz playing this character? Oh, God. Frank Oz, famed puppeteer, a great filmmaker in his own right. Yeah, he's okay.

As a filmmaker or puppeteer? Filmmaker. Great puppeteer. I mean, he's made like- He's going to be for them as a puppeteer. He's pretty famous. Yeah. He's made like four movies I love as much as anything.

Well, because he made the Muppet movies. Yes, but also Little Shop of Horrors and Bowfinger. And he made Little Shop of Horrors. Yeah, those are great. Yeah. And he made The Engine in the Cupboard, which I think is pretty good. That's a movie I think is incredibly solid. But I'm saying you look at the Muppets Take Manhattan.

Yeah, and he made What About Bob, which is interesting. I forgot about that. Muppets Take Manhattan, Little Shop of Horrors, and Bowfinger are maybe three of my 50 favorite movies ever. Fair enough. What about In-N-Out? In-N-Out is another solid one for me. Solid. I like In-N-Out.

I like What About Bob a lot. I like Indy in the Cupboard. It's just that after Bowfinger, he made the score, Stepford Wives, Death at a Funeral, he made three turds. Yeah, well, I mean, people fall off. Yeah, it's just interesting.

It does feel like most filmmakers have theirs. Remember when the score came out, and everyone was like, this is it. You got Brando. Then you got Brando's heir, De Niro. Then you got De Niro's heir, Edward Norton. He was unquestionably the heir apparent at that point.

And I like Edward Norton, and I'm always interested in what he has to do, but he is not De Niro's heir. That is not a mantle he has claimed. That was a weird horse to bet on. And also, that movie is horseshit. It is so bad. I was telling someone, this is just a podcast and all of us telling stories about other movies and other directors. This is what Performer Interview is. I was telling my

friend Sarah a story the other day that I think is incredible. So Brando hated Frank Oz. Interesting. And didn't he do it with his pants off? Yes, this is the story. So Brando from day one agreed to do the movie. He was probably paid $5 million.

This is his last movie, right? I think. God, was it his very last screen performance? It might have been. I think it's his last. I thought it was the Island. No, that was before. That was before.

That movie is out of its mind. He was supposed to do Scary Movie 2 right after this. They were going to pay him like $7 million to be the opening scene of Scary Movie 2. And he showed up on set with a respirator tank and could barely breathe and was like, I'm ready. And they fired him on the set. The score is his last movie. Jesus Christ.

Okay. So that's the Marlon Brando. Unless you count Superman Returns. He's great in that. He's a posthumous. He is. He is great in that. He agrees to do the film.

They pay him a lot of money. He shows up on the first day. Frank Oz gives him a note. He goes, I'm not fucking listening to you. You're Miss Piggy. It's funny that he knows that. He knows it. Living on his weird tropical island with all his creepy lady servants or whatever.

But he's like, no, I know this guy's Miss Piggy. Why did he agree to do the movie? Exactly. Anytime Frank Oz is like, okay, so for this one, I think we're going to do, uh,

let's start off with a wide. And he's like, no, you miss Piggy. We're not doing a wide shot. So two incredible things happen. One is that for the entire duration of the shoot of the score, Robert De Niro is every day wearing a microscopic earpiece.

And Frank Oz whispers into Robert De Niro's ear what he needs as a director. And then De Niro just goes, hey, Marlon, can I throw something out at you? He's like, maybe try doing this this time. And Brandon's like, yeah, sounds like a great idea. My impressions are on fleek this episode. And so Robert De Niro surrogate directed. Right. De Niro's a great director, by the way.

Yeah. Good Shepherd is a fucking masterpiece. But he didn't pretend like he was the director. He just went like, hey. Yeah, no, he's just like, hey. A little peer-to-peer advice. Not only is he a great director, he's a great actor. So he's acting like he's not a director.

That's the thing. I mean, that's the incredible performance. I'd love to watch that performance. De Niro should have gotten an Oscar for the score. For the behind-the-scenes footage of the score. Best behind-the-scenes performance. One of the Oscars did that every year. Be great.

Best bullshit from an actor pretending to like someone. And then, yeah, the story you were building up to is there was one shot where, there was one scene where Brando believed it should be played entirely in a close-up. Right. He was like, this is my emotional beat. I want it entirely in a close-up and nothing else with no edits and no coverage. Yeah. And Frank Oz was like, I want a wide to get us into the scene.

And Brando was like, nope, only close-up. Right. And Frank Oz was like, I need a wide. And Brando was like, okay, let me go back to my trailer and change. What he did is brilliant. Brilliant. And he must have been 80 years old at this point. Yes.

Yes. He can barely walk. Right. He looks like Jabba the Hutt, noted Gorg spitter from The Phantom Menace. He does. He looks terrible. Yes. He comes out on set just with no pants and no underwear.

No pants. Yeah. He's just wearing a shirt and then his dick and balls are hanging out. I mean, maybe. I imagine they're obscured by his massive gut. His dick and balls are in the wind. They're in there somewhere. His ass is hanging out.

They are hitting fresh air. Whether or not they're visible depends on where you're standing in relation to his tummy. But his dick and balls are out. And he goes, okay, I'm ready for that wide shot. And they just can't do it because of the wide shot. Did no one say like, oh, could you put your pants on though? We need your pants to be on for this scene. They did, and he went, no, no, I'm ready to shoot.

I'm good to go. Anyway, Frank Oz gets a thumbs down? Yeah. Oh, yeah, for sure. I already marked that. And he couldn't even direct Brando. He couldn't even write in Brando. Next is Ian McDermott.

But I do love Frank Oz as the director, and the Muppets are amazing. Weird misuse of him. And you know what? He's got such good comic timing. Why have him play such a fucking stiff? Yoda should be kind of funny. He has the one light moment

when he is talking with the younglings and Obi-Wan where he's kind of being a little playful about the missing system. I almost like that scene. Yeah, but fuck him. It's a shitty character. It's not a good movie. Ian McDermott is Palpatine. Okay, great. We're still giving him a thumbs up. He has way less to do. He has way less to do in this.

He's just kind of creepy. He does everything he's asked to do well. It's true. And I will say, I feel like the character arc of what's happening to Palpatine on the sidelines of these two films is more interesting than what's happening front

and center in these two films. Wish there was more of it. He's given the most solid performance. He's changing an entire galaxy. Right, right, right. And how his humanity deals with it. I mean, the masks, the covers, the layers of what he's playing,

talking on both sides of his mouth, I think, I wish we had more of him, but he's a solid good. A thumbs up for you, Ian. Congratulations, Ian. Pernilla August as Shmi Skywalker. Come on. Yeah.

She's still good. Yeah, she's still good. She, I mean, she is. It's, yeah. And you know what? I mean, it's a tough scene, too. It is. It's a very tough scene.

She's got one scene, she's got to play death. She's acting against a wall. Yeah. A brick wall. He's relentless. Yeah, you know what? It is a good performance. Yeah, no, she's good. It is. She's got one scene. She's got to play death. She's acting against a wall. A brick wall. He's relentless. You know what? It is a good performance. Thumbs up for Pernilla. I'm angry that that's all they give her to do. It's a bummer. But it's a good performance.

Tamura Morrison as Jango Fett. The great Tamura Morrison, the New Zealand actor. He's a Maori. This is a really tough one. I think he's okay. Yeah. In his one scene with the helmet off, he projects a little bit of menace.

The scene in his quarters when he's talking to Obi-Wan. That's what I'm thinking of, yeah. Yeah, there's some interesting tension there. That feels like a real scene of two actors acting against each other. Yes. Unlike all the other scenes in the movie. A little bit. But that's like two, it's a little touch of like, oh, right other. Yes. Unlike all the other scenes in the movie. A little bit. But that's like two, it's a little touch of like, oh, right, that's why it's good to have

actors in movies because you get tension, you get energy from the interplay of the two of them. Right. There's like an actual back and forth there that's kind of interesting. Kind of interesting. Can we say he's good? Most of the movie he's wearing a fucking helmet. I don't.

I mean, even the sidelines, it's mostly a physical performance. It's like one... He's all right. He's all right. I think... Good is strong. All right. I think...

But bad is strong, too. That's the problem. Let's give him a thumbs up. You gonna give me a thumbs down? I'm gonna give you a thumbs down, because I want Ben to pick on this one. Break this tie. Ooh, this is tough. Right?

Because he's not bad, and he's not good. Right. He really is down the middle. He's got moments of both. I'm trying to think. When he, leading up to his death, is there any kind of interaction between him and his son? Oh, absolutely not.

He's standing at the little box with Dooku and he's like, go out there, get him. Puts his helmet on, goes, gets his head sliced off. For how much they make a point of being like, Jango Fett had only one request, it's to raise a clone as

his own. You never really see any emotional bond between the two of them. And I feel like it doesn't get resolved at all or no there's no kind of real uh showing of that relationship father son or whatever the fuck it is what is it like does he just want this kid so he can train him does he actually care about him is he lonely like that one scene that is kind of good in how he plays off of uh ewan mcgregor he's given nothing off the kid like he's just going like uh jingo hit that scene that is kind of good in how he plays off of Ewan McGregor, he's giving nothing off the kid. He's just going

like, Jango, hit that door. Very, very, very restrained. It's all internal. Gotta give us something. But he's a bad guy, right? He's a bad guy. And he's kind of menacing, like you said. Kind of. In a phantomy way. If you compare him

to the performance of Christopher Lee, who's like a great bad guy. Oh, Ben, I think is amazing. He's got it. All right, give him a note. I'm going to give him a note. He never really feels like a threat. That's fair.

I think that's very fair. Sorry, Tamara, you're great in other movies. Once More Warriors is a great movie. It's almost a good performance, but we just fall on bad, and a lot of it was, once again, the hand you were dealt. George Lucas is dealing out poo-poo cards. That is very true. You got the ace of poops, my friend.

Jimmy Smits. Okay. Senator Baylor. Okay. We have not talked about this performance. No, we haven't talked about this at all. What a weird one. So Jimmy Smits, at this point, is coming right off of NYPD Blue.

And L.A. Law. You're talking about 10, 15 years as one of NYPD Blue. And L.A. Law. You're talking about 10, 15 years as one of America's top TV hunks. Right. He's got Emmys, he's got Golden Globes. He had just left NYPD Blue before coming on this. So at this point, we're like, this is one of the steadiest presences of the small

screen. Yeah, we love him. He was on fucking Miami Vice too, right? No, L.A. Law. Wasn't he on Miami Vice for a couple episodes? I know he wasn't a regular on LA Law. I am not a fucking plebeian. No, he was a regular on LA Law.

I know he was a regular on LA Law. I know he wasn't a regular on Miami Vice. I think he had an arc. You fucking dunce. He's in Brothers Keeper, which is the greatest,

only the one episode, but he's in that episode, which is the greatest. Of Miami Vice. Yeah, which is the greatest. So I nailed it. It looks like it's his first credit too,

which is crazy. So that's why I remembered and it was a good episode. too, which is crazy. So that's why I remembered. It was a good episode. It's the pilot. Right. Very quickly, I don't want to interject, but you guys realize that you just set up someone by being like, just coming off of NYPD Blue. Who knows this stuff? You two are ridiculous.

This is a big show. All right, all right. NYPD Blue, people loved it. People loved it. L.A. Law, he was a hunk du jour. He jumps ship straight onto another hit, steers it into the golden land of Hitsville. Sure, he replaced David Caruso.

Let's, you know, so, you know, NYPD Blue has one big season with David Caruso. Caruso's a big star. He jumps ship. Goes to be in movies. Yeah, Ben, don't fucking scoff at us. No, no, no. This is an important narrative.

He's in Jane. You guys are in movies. Don't fucking scoff at us. No, no, no. This is an important narrative. He's in jail. You guys are great together. NYPD blows up. Everyone's like, it's all thanks to that Caruso. Caruso. Caruso's got it. Your next big star. Caruso.

Caruso's like, I'm too big for this town. I'm going to Hollywood. So in comes Smith. And Caruso leaves. Everyone goes, ah, fucking, you can't do blue without Caruso. You might as well call it NYPD Caruso. You might as well call it NYPD Carew. You might as well. People thought the show was dead.

NYPD Red, because of his hair. Because of his hair. NYPD Caruso. No, it's crazy. And they bring in Smiths. What does Smiths do? It takes it to the next level. My point is, they handed him.

Smiths is a man who has been handed a deck of shitty cards before and he's fucking won. He swept the table. Guy knows how to play a game. Fucking good movies too. He was in, what, American Me? Great movie. That is a great movie. That's a great movie.

My Family? Yeah. That's a good movie. Yeah, there's like this major movement of Latino dramas, like independent Latino dramas in the 90s and 80s, and he's starring in a lot of them, doing really good work in important films. They're changing a national conversation. You fucking idiot, Ben.

How is he in Star Wars Episode II? Not good. Attack of the Clones? It's not a good performance. He's like a senator. He's like a nice senator. He's like a senator. He's like a nice senator. He's like a peaceful senator. Is that the idea of him?

Yeah, he doesn't want war. I'd say maybe. He's like a friend of Natalie Portman's of Padme's. I'd say he's maybe too low key in this role. You're kind of like, well, it's also you're just like, wow, there's Jimmy Smith. What's he going to play into? Nothing. Senator.

I don't know if we should do it. Sorry, Jimmy. Thumbs down. Thumbs down, Jimmy. But you know what? Even since, my God, he was in Dexter. Yeah. He was in Cuban sugar plantation drama, Cane.

Oh, yes. I don't know if it was Cuban. I think it was Miami. I forget where it was set. I think it was set. He was in that show, Outlaw, where he played an ex-Supreme Court justice who starts a law firm. It was terrible. Okay.

West Wing, he played the president. Of course, he was in West Wing. Yeah. And then he was in Sons of Anarchy. What film work has he done recently? I feel like I liked Jimmy on the big screen recently. Oh, really? You liked him in a movie? Yeah, I know he doesn't do many, but I thought I recently

saw him in a film. He sticks to TV. Why don't we get more of your handsome face? He was in the Jane Austen book club. I didn't see it. He doesn't do movies. He was in a movie called Mother and Child. Oh, yeah, he's really good in that. I don't say that. He doesn't do movies. He has a movie called Mother and Child that I've never heard of. Oh, yeah, he's really good in that. I don't know that movie.

Oh, it's a Rodrigo. I do remember this movie. Yeah. The Rodrigo Garcia movie. Anyway. Okay. Thumbs down. Thumbs down.

Jack Thompson is Klieg Lars. Jack Thompson is Klieg Lars. Now, Jack Thompson is an Australian actor. We need background on this guy. A lot of the supporting actors in this movie are Australian. So I think he's just a pretty well-known Australian character. He has a very long, very long career.

He starts in 1968 and he's in a lot of like Australian TV shows and he's in a lot of movies I've never heard of and then he's in a TV movie based on Kojak. And, I mean, so many things. He's the chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff in Broken Arrow. I'm thinking about this performance. Not a lot of stuff.

But he's put an interesting position on this one, right? He's got a lot to do. He's got to. But, yes. Go ahead. But what he's got a lot to do is the audience is going to be reading into his every word, every little bit of energy he's throwing out. Right.

Anakin's getting nightmares. His mother's in trouble. They go back to Tatooine. Watto is like, we sold him to a man. She has a new slave owner. I heard he married her. We hear that. We're like, I don't know what to

fucking make of that that could be any sort of relationship like what wado's telling us wado's not to be trusted is an abusive relationship is a consensual heard they fell in love i don't know he fucking owns her is that what kind of guy is it's totally true anakin's getting on a speeder bike he's going to meet his new stepdad who he he's never met before, didn't even know existed, who owns his mother. And so you're getting in there, you're like, what kind of fucking guy is this? And here comes a dude who's like steady as a rock. Steady as a rock. You totally believe like this is a man of honor and dignity.

He's got a real decency. It helps that he has like the missing legs. So you're like, all right, I can't, you know. But even he's a real straight shooter. he takes a lot of laden dialogue he makes it all sound very natural and very from the heart i would argue i forget if you've seen game of thrones you watch game of thrones no is he on it no he's not on it but um then i won't character in game of thrones it's thompson or nothing for griffin newman uh there's a character in game of thrones who's like kind of similar Old Hermit lives out way out in the wastes

with some concubines. Yes. And he's creepy. Yeah. This guy could be like that. It's like, oh, he kind of abducted Shmi into his weird Mormon cult. 100%.

It's the total opposite. And even going into the scene, we hear, okay, they fell in love, they got married. I'm going, I don't know. I'm looking for signs. I want to make sure this guy's on the level, you know? And in a movie where everyone else is almost always introduced by going,

another character going, hey, this is a bad guy. Yeah, yeah. And now introducing a good person. Yep, we get it immediately. Here you get context, right? You go, here's what happened with this guy. And you go, ooh, I don't know what kind of guy that is. And his job as an actor is to show you what kind

of man he is through temperament. Through decency of soul. I mean, just little, little fucking nuanced signs of the humanity of the edges of this man. And I think he pulls it off with aplomb. I do too. I think this is a good performance.

Sure. I think this is maybe the underrated performance. I think you're this is maybe the underrated performance. I think you're going crazy. The underrated performance. The unheralded. In that it's never been rated. Yes. We're the first to rate it. We're going to give him a good.

We're going to give him a good. I like this section of the movie too, and I think it's because of his steady hand. I don't love this section of the movie because it features Hayden Christensen as Anakin Skywalker. That's true. That is its issue. That's a good counterpoint. Like all the other sections except for the front.

I think we both agree the best part of the movie is the first 20 minutes. And especially with Colin Scott's edit. His silent edit. It's so good. Just mail that right

to Lucasfilm right now. Yeah. Alright, next is Liana Walsman as Zam Wessel, the assassin. The changeling assassin. I think she's terrible.

I do too. I think that this is a performance that could have been good. Yeah. Then this character is not scary. Nope. She doesn't seem very competent. Like there's nothing coming off of this actress. She also doesn't move very well.

Like for a character that's mostly a physical presence, I feel like her movements in these action scenes are kind of awkward. I know she's wearing a skin tight like purple like fucking garbage bag. With like a veil over her face but still. I feel a little bad because this is not a well known actress. This is not a well known actress and it's not a well developed role and it's mostly her fucking in a cockpit surrounded by green

screens looking frazzled but she doesn't do it well. I'm not saying she's a bad actress. This is a big point I want to make about this episode. She's another Australian actress. As if it need not be said. Yeah. We are not ranking whether or not definitively

these actors are good or bad. Yeah. Just in this movie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. We have very little to go off of with this woman otherwise. No, because we're about to shit all over. We're getting to it.

We're getting to it. But this is not a good performance. Thumbs down. Perhaps she's great if you see her in a little playhouse doing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but this is not a good performance. Let's do it. you see her in a little playhouse doing Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf, but this is not a good performance. Let's do it.

Yeah. Let's put on a production of Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf starring Liana Walsman. It's a great name. Okay, next up. Ahmed Best, but here's a revelation. Oh, boy. He played Ahmed, Ahmed, whatever. He played two characters.

Sorry, not whatever. Ahmed. Ahmed Best. There's no C. I'm sort of naturally, I read that as Ahmed, but it's Ahmed Best. He's your xenophobe. Plays two characters in this movie. Did you know that? I did know that. I've been holding that a secret this whole time.

Jar Jar Binks and a character called Ahmed Beck. Yep. I've been very aware of that and I haven't wanted to talk about it. Who's in the bar, right? Yes, right. And it's about to tie into another cast member that we're getting to later. But it's in the Elon Sleazebag and O'Seen. There's a reaction shot after they chop off Zam Wessel's arm. I timed it.

It's literally, I mean, a second. Yeah. They cut to a corner. It's a reaction shot. And he's standing at a table with a drink. He's wearing a blue jumpsuit. He's got kind of a marking on his face. Tattoo.

Some kind of tattoo, yeah. Merchandise Spotlight, this character did warrant an action figure. Are you serious? That's fucking insane. Yep, 100%. Came with a little table and a drink. And he has that weird name that is a Baxterism, that's what it's called, where they're naming it after the actor.

Ahmed Beck. Yeah. There are a surprising amount of Merchandise Spotlight action figures of that bar scene. Interesting. It's a good scene. Yeah. But it's like Ellen Sleeves Bagano you can get. He comes as part of the bar.

You could maybe assemble the full bar because they made all these bar patrons. Oh, yeah. But like the boring ones in the background. Here's the action figure. Yeah. And they all come with like a little piece so you could like put it together and make a little scene. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

He's a male human president at the club. He, along with his partner Donnie Fatoni, was posing as a Republican security force officer attempting to con patrons out of their credits. This is such a good character. Is this the gra-gra of Attack of the Clones? There's so much going on here. Wait, later, they conned the aspiring criminal Magaluf. Oh, this is just a bunch of bullshit.

I want to move on because when we get to Donnie Fatone, we'll be able to tie this in more. I think this is an important note. Let's go to the next cast member. Who the fuck is Donnie Fatone? Let's go to the next cast member. I want to save it as a surprise. Let's go to the next cast member. Who's next on IMDb?

Rose Byrne as Dorme. Okay. Oh, wait. We're giving Ami Best a thumbs down. Thumbs down's a bad performance. Yeah, I wanted to make sure. Yeah, of course. No, we're not lunatics.

He's almost worse. He's almost worse. I do think he's pretty good in the bar scene. He gives a metered, understated look. All right, Rose Byrne is Dorme. She sucks. Yep. She's bad.

I love Rose Byrne, but what's going on here? She has probably gone on to become the best actor of this entire cast of this film. I think the most consistent actor in this cast. She's having one of the most incredible runs. It's so underrated. Good in everything. Elevates all material. Can play in any genre, any size role. Fully agree. I mean, is

really like a five tool player. You know? She has this old sort of movie star class. Did you see Annie? I watched a little bit of her playing. She's fucking great in that. I'm sure she is. I just was wondering. I didn't see that one. Yeah, it's like I don't...

I forgot she was in that. I can't believe she makes that work as much as she does. Yeah, but I loved her in Spy. I loved her in Neighbors. I love her in the Insidious movies. She's got real dramatic chops. I loved her in...

You know, I enjoyed her in Damages. I guess Damages where she... Well, Bridesmaids, get into the Greek. Immaculate accent work. Oh, you know what she's fantastic in is Sunshine. Yes.

Oh, I love Sunshine. And Rose Byrne is a strikingly beautiful woman. Yes. I have often described her as having the perfect face. I think she has the greatest face of all time. She's got a great face. She's got a very sort of sculpture kind of face. And classically beautiful.

In Sunshine, they managed to make her look so washed out and exhausted and stressed out. She's been on shit for years. Without it seeming over the top. Without it being this weird de-glamping. It's not like fucking Charlie's Theron and Monsters. She just looks like she's tired. She looks like a real person. And it's kind of quietly... And it's her performance powerful it's a great performance but it's kind of quietly powerful

because what the movie is saying is like yeah this is an incredibly beautiful person who has just handed like you know a winning ticket from the genetic lottery yeah but like she's tired she's gonna look tired she's tired like they don't make her try to not they don't try to make her look less beautiful they just go this is what this beautiful woman would look like if she hadn't showered and she's not eating very well and she's stuck on a ship where she's sweating all the time. Right. It's a great performance in a movie I love wholeheartedly. I know a lot of people don't like The Last Act.

I love the whole movie. Can we do a Sunshine episode? It's one of my favorite films ever made. Oh, I would love to do a Sunshine episode. One of my favorite films. Yeah, I think it's one of the best films of that entire decade. Yep, me too. It's a masterpiece. Rose Byrne is great. Chris Evans, probably my favorite films. Yeah, I think it's one of the best films of that entire decade. Yep, me too. It's a masterpiece.

Rose Byrne is great, and Chris Evans, probably best performance of his career, I would say. He's so good in that. So good in that. We'll do a full soundtrack episode. I don't know if this is his best performance. I think it is. It might be. It might be, yeah. I'm trying to think of others. I actually think he's great in the Captain America movies. I do too. Especially the first one. Rose Byrne doesn't have a ton to do in this. It's a little

forced what she does. Dorme, yes, she's one of the handmaids. Very forced. The goodbye scene, the crying scene is a little forced. I think it also just falls into like, you know, she was not used to working in that kind of environment yet. You know, clearly she has proven since then that she knows what she's doing. Because Troy is after this, right? Yeah. Troy is the first movie I noticed her in. Yeah, and she's like solid in that.

Solid. She's all right. Troy's the first movie I noticed her in. Yeah, and she's like solid in that. Solid? She's all right. I'm just saying, it's very, very difficult to act in a big, big fucking movie like this. Because what tends to happen is less attention is paid on the acting than anything else.

Right. They're so worried about every other moving piece, and they're giving you like sort of dialogue, and there's a thousand cameras in your face, and there's a thousand concerns, and you don't really have a character to play. Very true. It felt like she pushed it a little too hard. But I think this is kind of a fascinating performance because you see like through a couple. She starts out in all these big movies where she has sort of small unimportant roles.

And is strikingly beautiful but doesn't really connect. She doesn't connect for a while. It's true. Now she actually has a long IMDb list. My God. It feels like she maybe learned movie by movie. Yeah. Because once she got good, it was like suddenly she was only great and great every single time there on app. I forgot she's in I Capture the Castle, which is a fantastic movie, although it's Rama Giri who's sort of the...

Anyway. Rose Byrne, not good. No. In Attack of the Clones, one of our favorite living actresses. And maybe this film is important as a stepping stone for her to learn what not to do in film. She's starting to figure out how she plays

on camera. What to do, what not to do. Sorry, Rose. Oliver Ford Davis' Sio Bibble. I mean, who'd give a shit? No! Thumbs down! Ron Falk as Dexter Jetsker. Oh, yeah.

I mean, yes. David. Yeah. Ben. Well, yeah. Of course. I know. This is a great performance.

All right. We talked about him for 45 minutes. We couldn't even figure out his voice. I mean, he's the one guy who seems to be doing a post-melting pot galaxy in which every culture is mashed together. He seems to have all... This is the best. pot galaxy in which every culture is mashed together. He seems to have all... This is the best. He's, yeah.

This is the best. It's weird. J. Lagai... Who? Lagai... I don't know how you say his name. It's L-A-G-A apostrophe A-I-A. Okay.

As Captain Typho. Oh, boy. I'm giving him a no. Yeah, I mean, this is just such a boring performance. Compare this shit to Panaka. Panaka is killing it compared to this guy. Panaka, you're like, that guy's in charge. Typho, you're like, oh, who's he again?

Have I seen him before? And we complained a lot about Panaka, but I feel like at the end of the day, we maybe gave Hugh Quarashi a pass because we felt like he did good work. Like, he's a solid, steady, clearly skilled, smart actor given an underwritten role. This is not a good performance. Nope.

It's a hard pack. Thumbs down. Yeah. Andy Secom is Watto. I mean. Of course. Come on. Yeah, and you know what?

I like that it's a different shade of Watto because he's really kind of sad. His heart isn't in the game anymore. I think he's great. I think he's great. I think he might be better. I think he is. I think he's playing it less for laughs, great. I think he might be better. I think he is. I think he's playing it less for laughs and we're really seeing like

the, you know, the man behind the curtain. It's a beautiful performance. So are you giving him a thumbs up, Ben? You got it? Yeah. Hard thumbs up. Anthony Daniels as C-3PO. And Donny Fatoni! Yo, so two secret fucking invisible

actors in Phantom Menace. It's almost like, it's a little tip of the like hey hey, you didn't get to be on screen for your big role, so let's give you a little shot. These guys were big parts, but you never saw their faces. This is Donny Fatoni, by the way, is Ahmed Beck's sidekick or whatever. Let's get back to that Wikipedia page about the two of them. Because this sounds like an amazing. Well, apparently they had a. Oh, it's not a Baxterism it's a Tuckerization that's what you call naming someone after their own name and Danny Faitoni of course his name is Anthony Daniels

they flipped it it's the same thing Danny Faitoni is a male human from Corellia aspired to serve in the Republic was conned into fronting a phony spice mine by a changeling on the run from the law with his hopes of working in law enforcement spice mine by a changeling. On the run from the law with his hopes of working in law enforcement dashed, he decided to make a living as a con artist

teaming with his inventive friend Ahmed Beck. They gambled in their con all the way to Coruscant. They get arrested. They escape. They set up shop in the Outlander Club. Sounds like such a fun movie. There is so much dialogue.

Another fine mess you got us into, Danny, Ahmed, Beck. When is this happening? Is there like a whole comic book series about that? We'll scroll down. It should have like a, maybe like a Legends tab or something like that. Yes. There must be expanded. It is a webcomic called The Clone Wars Departure. And that's the one?

Well, that's at least one of them. Okay. I would love to read that. I'm going to try to find that and I'll have read it for next week's episode. And in regards to the pulp kind of storyline, those characters would be really interesting to further develop within that storyline. Yeah. You know who would be a great subset of people to focus on in this universe, this Phantom

Menace universe? I don't know. Petty criminals, smugglers. Absolutely. That's fun, seeing fucking vagabonds. There is so much. universe this this phantom menace universe i don't know petty criminal smugglers absolutely that's like fun like seeing like fucking vagabonds you know so much okay so by the way they eventually tried to con c-3po and jar jar binks so like you know that's a whole thing uh they oh my god they they scam a dowager out of her money in the senate but it fails and then they're chased away from the senate and they get in a speeder.

They steal from Padme Amidala's landing platform. But then it like, it takes them back to C-3PO and Jar Jar. I like that it almost sounds like they're like the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Like they're having this incredible journey, constantly like interacting with our characters in the most tangential way. But meanwhile, meanwhile their own lives are pretty full. Yeah, so it's this whole webcomic called The Clone Wars

Departure. I want to hang out with these scallywags. These guys sound like a fucking laugh and a half. Anyway, crazy. So are we giving him a plus or a minus? SC3PO, he's good. He's great. He gets more to do. Yep, and he's goofy as shit.

Super goofy. One of the hijinxiest performances I've ever seen. It's a hijinx-y performance. God, I mean, I think his line readings are funny. Whatever your feelings are on that being a section of the movie, I think he's really funny. Me too. Oh, Lord, what have I said? I don't know where they found this guy or what like, what the point of him is exactly, but

yeah, he's funny. Yeah, we're surprised that they brought the character back. Yeah, it is surprising. From the first movie, it gave them this much more to do, but I think you're starting to get who C-3PO is, and even there's that little exchange between C-3PO and R2-D2 where it's like, oh, this could be a fun thing that, like, these two robots don't like each other. Right. You know?

Because all the robots just seem so personality-less. And it's like, oh, these two robots have some strong fucking opinions, and they might clash. I give him a hard thumbs up. I give him a hard thumbs up. Silas Carson as Kiara Mundi and Viceroy Gunray. We didn't like him last time. Yeah. I mean, Kiara Mundi remains one of the best looking Jedi.

Cool, looks cool. Nukan Ray is an abomination and a disgrace. Give it a thumbs down. And an embarrassment to all Asians. And Kaya Munday doesn't even have dialogue in this one. He does wave his sword around. He just waves his sword. Give him a thumbs down.

Aisha Darker as Queen Jamila of Naboo. She seems like a nice lady. She's very pretty. She's an Indian actress. She's got cool makeup on. She's not bad. I like her. She works in British TV.

She's in Coronation Street for 54 episodes. Recently she was in Indian Summers, which is a miniseries on Channel 4 that my friend and fan of the show, Nikesh Patel, starred in. Whoa.

So there you go. Fan of this show? Yeah, he's a fan of this show. We went to high school together. We were a couple of nerds in high school together. Now he's become an actor. He's an Indian actor. And he's doing great.

He's on Indian Summers. She was on Indian Summers. I'm going to give her a thumbs up. I'm going to give her a thumbs up too.'m going to give her a thumbs up, too. She's pretty good. Yeah. Because it's sort of weird because you're like, oh, here's the new Amy Dalla. You know?

It's kind of an odd moment where you're seeing this lady with a, she's got like white makeup and sort of blue, I don't know. She's wearing some sort of blue sort of flowery headdress-y thing. I don't know. It's kind of cool. Also, the other interesting thing about her is that I have a mouthful of peanuts right now. He does. As I was saying this, he was sort of like turning away in shame, but it was just eating peanuts.

I'm too loud, but now I'm just going to chew my peanuts on mic. Amidala always felt like she was trying to pass for a grown up. Yeah. You know, like act beyond her years and maturity. I do. I like that this queen kind of seems like a kid. She does. Like a thoughtful kid, you know,

with a good sense of morality, head on her shoulders, but she's like not posturing. I agree with this. I agree with everything you're saying. She's a little more natural than Natalie Portman was in the headdress. I think it's a good performance. And she's buddies with your buddy. Yeah, she's a buddy with Nick Kush Patel.

I mean, I don't know if they're buddies, but they both worked on the same show. Maybe they're enemies, but still. But Nick Kush has tweeted at me about this show and about my deep radio voice. Hey! No, I don't think he was. Anyway, Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars. Okay, another actor I love. Yeah, we talked about him.

I have loved most of the work he has gone on to do in the last 10 years or so. Sure. In this performance, he doesn't really register. He really doesn't. He's got a great face. You remember Daddy Lars. Yeah. And that's it.

You don't remember Owen. You don't remember Beru Who is the wife But I will say Girlfriend Girlfriend I will say He does have a very Very interesting face

I remember seeing him in this Good face Good face And then like Five or six years later When maybe Kinky Boots came out When he started to appear In other stuff

Yeah yeah yeah I like immediately Recognize him as like Oh that was that guy Who left no impression In Right Well it was a big movie

That we watched. But he does have a certain presence. It's not a good performance. So after Attack of the Clones, he's kind of he's in Ned Kelly. He's in Arthur, King Arthur, as Sir Gawain. Remember the weird Antoine Fuqua? Yeah, so these are

like a couple failed epics in a row. And then Kinky Boots, Smokin' Aces. He starts to build up, I think, a little more of a real career and then, you know,

he gets big. He's in Animal Kingdom. He's in Warrior. And I believe he produced Animal Kingdom. He might have co-written it as well. He and his brother,

Nash Egerton, have like a whole sort of cottage industry in Australia. His directorial debut is coming out later this month. It's supposed to be great. He didn't write,

David Michaud is the man behind Animal it. He produced it, I know. Anyway, thumbs down. Daniel Logan is Boba Fett. No, I think he's bad. I think so too. Thumbs down. We should pick it up. My hesitation was that I have a friend who is constantly trying to become a guest on this show

and his big poker chip he keeps on throwing out is He's promising us Daniel Logan? He says my sister dated Daniel Logan in high school. I could probably get you some

Daniel Logan scoops. I just want to get Daniel Logan on this show. I just want to get anyone who was in Attack of the Clones on this show. I'll say this.

Yeah. Daniel Logan's better than Jake Lloyd. No question. For a kid performance. Yeah. Daniel Logan's better than Jake Lloyd. No question. For a kid performance. Yeah. And he picks up the head pretty nicely, but he doesn't really register.

No. Okay. Bonnie P.S. as Beru. Yeah, I mean, another, like, she's got a nice face. Seems like a nice lady. It doesn't register. I'm trying to see if she's done anything else interesting in her life, but not really.

Thumbs down really Thumbs down Anthony Phelan is Lama Su Voice only You know what I like this performance a lot Another Australian actor I like this performance He recently played a priest in Unbroken

In Angelina Jolie's Unbroken Interesting He was in an episode of Top of the Lake Interesting He did 50 episodes of famed Australian soap, Home and Away. Oh, whoa. What? What's buried down there right at the bottom?

Right at the bottom, Security Guard in Babe Pig in the City. What? Another Australian film. Yeah. I love this guy. I gotta say now. All right. Thumbs up. Good job, Anthony. I gotta say now. All right. Thumbs up.

Good job, Anthony. I think he's got a great voice, mostly delivering exposition, but with a really interesting rhythm. Yeah. I like it. But then how do you feel about Rina Owen

as Lama Sue? Like it too. Now. I like these Kamonians. Yeah. Kaminoans. I might be a little

swayed by I like their design so much and I think they're She's a New Zealand actress. I think they're the one example of CGI effects in the movie that totally hold up. I think especially in close-ups, they look really great.

They hold up. The backgrounds don't, but they hold up. I think the acting work on those characters is really strong and subtle, and I think the detail work on the actual models is really, really good. Reina Owen, also in Once Were Warriors.

I believe she's the female lead of Once Were Warriors. Interesting. She's great. Reteamed with Tamara Morrison. Here's something I want to tell you. Yeah. She is one of six actors in the world to have worked with both George Lucas and Steven Spielberg. Because she is in AI.

Playing? Let's find out. I watched AI like a week ago. One of my favorite movies ever made. Great movie. Seriously, the best. She plays a ticket taker. I don't want to. That's cool for her, though. I'm sorry that didn't blow

you more. No, it's cool for her. Next performance. I would like to know who the other five are, though. I'd have to think about that. Harrison Ford. No, he wasn't. Yeah, he's in American Graffiti. Right, he's in American Graffiti, and he's in the Indiana Jones films. I pulled myself out of that deal, Smith. Anyway. A real

indie style. Aletha McGrath in As Madame Jocasta New. Alethea McGrath. Well, okay, so this is tough. I think she's good. I mean, I think she's great if we assume she's playing what we have

put on this character. Yeah, right. She's playing a desperate, desperate attempt to keep secret the fact that she had an affair with Count Dooku. That she feels protective of him and his information because she thinks what they had was love and for him it was just

another side piece, you know? I think that's an interesting performance that she's playing there. Otherwise, you could say that maybe she's aloof. She's kind of annoying. She's fine. Let's give her a thumbs up. Wait a second. How many thumbs up do we have?

So far, we are at 12 thumbs up and 14 thumbs down. Let's give her a thumbs down. I'm worried about this. I thought we were being so negative this one. How did this get close again? Yeah, but then we gave both of the Kamidoans thumbs up. Yeah, I mean, those a thumbs down. I'm worried about this. I'm getting worried. It's getting too close. I thought we were being so negative this one. How did this get close again? Yeah, but then we gave both of the Kamidoans thumbs up. Yeah, that's, I mean, those are thumbs up. We should have been saving up for those two.

I'm excited for this one. Okay. Susie Porter as WA7. Do you know who WA7 is? Flo? Exactly. There she is. The waitress from Dexter's thingy.

His restaurant. What's there to discuss? It's a thumbs up. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a Mac thumbs up. There she is, the waitress from Dexter's thingy. What's there to discuss? It's a thumbs up. Yeah. Yeah, it's not a Mac thumbs up. It's a thumbs up and two dicks up. I'm rock as a board. Rock as a board.

Rock as a board. I'm rock as a board, man. She also played a character called Hermione Bagua, who- In this movie? In this movie, who is another waitress at Dexter's. Oh, yes. The human waitress in the background. So she's both characters. So she's playing all the waitresses.

So let's give her two thumbs up. One thumb up is enough. For a grand total of four thumbs. Anyway, then we have. Two dicks. Then we have Matt Doran as Elon Sleazebagano. Oh, I mean. Another Australian actor best known for another film,

his performance in another film, also shot in Sydney. Mouse in The Matrix. Yeah, I mean, I love this guy. I always think about... wonder what happened to him. I mean, he made such a big impression on me. He seems to mostly make Australian things.

He's not done much. He's in a lot of shorts these days. It's not, you know, it kind of fell off. I mean, dude fucking kills it in this. I'd say it's probably my favorite supporting performance of 2002. I think this is so bizarre, but okay. It's not. Should've won an Oscar. He's got fucking razor-sharp comic timing. You see an entire arc of a man having to question all his life choices up until then.

He's got 40 seconds to see a man reassessing everything he's ever done, ever been. He's a sleazebagging though, David. He never had a chance. Yeah, he gets a thumbs up. Let's move on. I wanted you to fight me on that one. I love him. Yeah, whatever.

He's all right. I love Mouse. Mouse is great. The chicken, it tastes like chicken monologue in The Matrix. Yeah, he's great. He's cool. All right, so we're winding down. I just want to let you gentlemen know we are at 14 thumbs up, 15 thumbs down.

Ooh. Oh, boy. Okay, okay, okay. Alan Rusko is Lot Dodd. Down. Yep. Matt Sloan is Blue Cloon. Down.

Down. You pointed at me because you thought I was going to do it. Don't you do this. No, because I was like- That's the bug face, Jedi. My counterpoint was going to be, David, he has a cockroach face. And then I remembered that has nothing to do with performance. I was going to give the actor credit

for wearing a mask with the face of a cockroach. Veronica Segura as Cordae. She's the one who dies at the beginning? Yeah. No. Really? I give her a down. I think she's bad. I feel a little mean now. I'm going to give her a thumbs up and have Ben do a tiebreaker.

I kind of like her. That's okay. She can have a thumbs up. She's alright. Ben Corday, the one who dies at the beginning. And don't judge her as a handmaiden because she obviously fails on that front. She goes, I'm so sorry I've let you down. I don't know. Thumbs up. No. Thumbs down. You guys got enough thumbs up.

David Bowers is Mas Amedda. That's the blue guy who's like the sort of right-hand man to Palpatine. Oh, with the dick dreadlocks on the sides of his face? Yeah, thumbs down, bro. Major thumbs down. Major thumbs down. All right, now I'm not going to go after any characters who are not named, like, you know, Naboo Lieutenant or whatever.

No, absolutely not. So keep scrolling. Zachariah Jensen is Kit Fisto. God, he looks so cool. And he's got that moment where he smiles and gives the thumbs up. I think he's great. Let's give him a thumbs up. Oh, boy.

Are we tied now? Oh, no. Oh, what about this? He gets a thumbs up. You're at now 14 thumbs up and 20 thumbs down. Well, we're almost over. Okay. Alex Knoll is J.K. Pertola.

Do you know who that is? No. It's the four-year-old initiate who knows where the fucking system is. Oh, yes. You're giving him a thumbs up? Yeah, kid's great. All right. He's got the goods.

What's he been up to since then? Alex Knoll, what's he been up to? Let's see. He's not in any other films ever made. Okay, well, one and done sometimes. Phoebe Yamikati as Mary Amethyst, another of the initiates, a four-year-old human Jedi initiate. She's a little Asian girl. I don't remember her in this film at all.

She sounds cute. Give her a thumbs up. She's very cute. Yeah, it's adorable. And finally, Kenny Baker as R2-D2. I mean, once again, how do we even rank this? I don't know.

He's the last credited performer. What do you do? I don't know how much of that was CGI. He's in there. Oh, he's in there. What, he's flying? Yeah, he can fly it. He can fly it. Kenny Baker can fly? What?

He's flying? Yeah, he can fly it. He can fly it. He installed the jetpack. Kenny Baker can fly? How do you fucking know? He's in there. He's in there. We know it. I know. We know he's in there. I say it's another, I say, well, we gave him a too close to call last time. What do we do?

We ranked him neither good nor bad. He was the one. Yeah, he gets a question mark. He gets a question mark. I want to point out that Liam Neeson is uncredited as Qui-Gon Jinn archive sound. Is there even an archive sound? Is that something that Yoda hears maybe? Yeah.

I forget what the moment was. I looked this up. There's some scene where you can hear Qui-Gon's echo underneath another piece of dialogue. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're very vague. Anyway.

Yeah. I give him a thumbs down for that one. He should have looked at his contract and made sure that they weren't allowed to fucking reuse his dialogue in other movies. Okay, so what's our final tally? Okay. So, final tally is 15 thumbs up. Okay. 20 thumbs down and one question mark for Kenny Baker.

I'm more comfortable with that. I still think we gave too many thumbs up. So who did we give thumbs up to? Kit Fisto, all of the Trial Jedi, both Kimonians, Ewan McGregor, Chris Finley,

Ian McDermott, Anthony Douglas as the bar patron. We gave thumbs up to the whole cast of Dexter's Diner. Joel Schumacher. So good. I loved it when he told you. He's a nice guy.

He also gave Jack Thompson underrated performance. Oh, right. I forgot we gave him that award. And Ian McGregor got possibly most approved. Clegg Lars. Right. Okay. So most improved. Let's go to a couple other superlatives. Most improved is Ewan McGregor got possibly most improved. Clegg Lawrence. Right, okay, so most improved. Let's go to a couple other superlatives. Most improved is Ewan McGregor.

Jack Thompson wins underrated. I'd say Dexter Jetser's MVP. Yeah, all right. He's the most memorable. Oh, so you're saying he's an MMP? I'm so hot and tired. We're so angry. I have to be on NPR tomorrow.

You're talking about joke theft. Oh, God. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. Okay, Jax or Jester. He wins. He wins. Can we do a Sunshine episode and a Bigels episode?

What are we going to do next week? I don't remember this movie. What happens in Attack of the Clones? We've got to get Gaston again next week. Oh, yeah? Yeah, and we'll reassess things in the movie we haven't talked about yet. Yeah, what are we going to do? Well, we should do a commentary episode.

We will do a commentary episode. And we'll do our commentary as well. Yes. I think the commentary episode, we're going to do a bonus materials episode. I think it's going to be a DVD because of some of those deleted scenes I want to watch that Lang was talking about in our romance episode. It'll be a DVD extra episode. I think it's going to be a DVD because of some of those deleted scenes I want to watch that Lang was talking about in our romance episode. Oh boy.

I want to watch some more documentaries about the casting of Hayden Christensen. Yeah. Yeah, we'll do that. We will do, I think we might do one on the actual filmmaking.

Yeah, you're really obsessed with that one. That one's going to be a snoozer. It's about if we can get the right guest. I think if we can get a good guest for that episode, it'll be interesting. Oh, I think I know who we should get for that.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We and Griffin, we're telepathic right now. Yeah. And we could always do a fan fiction episode. Hey, I would love to. If you want to dig up some fan fiction in advance that's cool, or weird. Like I did last time?

Then I'm down. If you want me to do the same thing I did last time then I'm down yes I would gladly do that remember the first Vance fiction you tried to read which was just like it was so boring I am a fast reader in my head everything takes 35 seconds I read fucking Ulysses in a minute

reading out loud it's like a fucking snail's pace I didn't know it was gonna take that long rolling off the tongue. Who's another director you've auditioned for who gave you weird advice? I mean, this is weird but good advice. I think Joel Schumacher's best movie is Tigerland. You know, I like Phone Booth. Really? I've never seen Phone Booth.

What? You should see it. It's weird. I had a really big paper that month. I remember distinctly I had a really big English paper that month, and I just was like, no movies this month. I've got to work on this paper. It's a weird... You know what? The client's pretty good.

You know, The Lost Boys is pretty good. So you love Joel Schumacher. Well, but then he also made like half a dozen of like the worst movies ever. Yeah. Weird director advice that I liked. I thought it was good, but it was like a weird note that I'd never heard before. Go for it. In audition, Edgar Wright told me that he finds not blinking funny.

Interesting. So he was like, if it's too hard, don't worry about it. Did you see Ant-Man? Yeah. What'd you think? I liked it a lot. I thought it was really solid. I think Ant-Man was great.

I do wonder what Edgar Wright would have done. I do too. I think we only can judge it as the film it was. I totally agree. And I think Peyton redirected the hell out of it. I think he did a great job. I did too. But Edgar Wright told me, he was like, if you can't do it, it's hard.

I understand. I just like to test people this way. What was it? Scott Pilgrim? Scott Pilgrim. Yeah. What were you going to do? What was it?

I was very close to playing young Neil in that movie. Oh, you would have been a great young Neil. I just. But you know, whoever it is, is good. He's very good. Johnny Simmons. Johnny Simmons. He's very funny. He's very funny i i think i was number two that's crazy i was like what if you were young neil johnny simmons had another movie and it was a thing where they were trying

to work out the scheduling and i was like for three months i had like dropped out of college six months earlier and was like i'm gonna be a movie star and then like suddenly this thing happened and they were like if this kid can't work out a schedule, you are in Scott Pilgrim. And that was a long shoot, right? Yeah. That's a great director's commentary. There are two commentaries on that. Yeah.

One is Edgar Wright, Michael Cera, and Brian Lee O'Malley, and it's a pretty fun but straightforward. And then one is the supporting cast, and what's her name? What's the lady from Parks and Rec? Mae Whitman? No, no, what's the Parks and Rec? Aubrey Plaza. Aubrey Plaza is hung over. They're doing it after the premiere, I think.

And she is so mean and grouchy. And then she gets in a fucking fight with Anna Kendrick, who is like her sort of chirpy self, about feeling uncomfortable about the sexy ladies that come with the Indian guys dance, where Anna Kendrick's like, I think they look great. And then it is tense for the rest. feeling uncomfortable about the sexy ladies that come with the Indian guys dance, where Anna Kendra's like, I think they look great. And then it is tense for the rest.

It's a great commentary. You should listen to it. I want to listen to that. It's crazy. Anyway, it sounds like that scene took forever to shoot. Yeah. Like months. Yeah, that was a long shoot. Yeah, because I was very aware the entire time it was shooting that I was not in it.

Chris Evans is great in that, too. Everyone's great in that movie. I was sort of like the backup option should he drop out for months. They kept on being like, yeah, maybe. And I got to audition for him. He complimented me on my ability to not blink that much. And he told me he was like... Well, young Neil, that is kind of...

Because he is kind of like this weird zombie. That was the one... I worked on this in my performance because i i'm a very big comic fan i was working at a comic store at the time that i was auditioning and really wanted to quit my job and was like oh if i'm a movie star i can quit my job right so i just every day at work with like when no one's paying attention just look through the books and like study the frames and try to figure out how to replicate the physical posture because so much of that character was like silent, responsive. And so I got really good at keeping my eyes open really wide. And he was like, if you could try to not blink at all, that'd be great.

And he told me it was on Shaun of the Dead, some of the zombies would blink. And he was like, I don't want zombies blinking. So he digitally removed them. And it worked so well. And he was like, oh, it's so much funnier when people don't blink. Then other movies since then, he sometimes takes out blinks when he thinks it'd be funnier. Wow. He tells all actors, if you cannot blink, that'd be great.

But he was like, yeah, I took out a lot of Nick Frost blinks and Hot Fuzz because once I got in the editing room, I was like, man, a lack of blink there would kill it. What do you think the worst Edgar Wright movie is? I think it's Hot Fuzz. I do too. Do you know what I think the best one is though? World's End?

Yeah. It's starting to grow on me. I watched it for the third time recently and I liked it the least the first time I watched it. Yeah, me too. It gets better every time for me. It's actually a fantastic movie.

Can I tell one nice story to like put an end on this thing and try to be positive because now I'm like remembering a nice thing that happened in my life. I'll allow it. So I was like obsessed with the Scott Pilgrim books.

I was freaking this comic book store. Fucking obsessed with those obsessed with those books obsessed and i would like treat them the way that like kids treat harry potter when new one came out i would like run home and read it like first thing i wanted like before anyone ruined anything about it yeah i was like deep deep into comics at the time and then yeah when the movie was being cast the last two or three books still hadn't come out i believe that's right when the last two or three books still hadn't come out? I believe that's right. When the movie came out, the last book hadn't come out. Right. So I'd already gotten really into it.

And the movie's kind of based on the first three books, and then the rest is kind of them doing their own thing. Well, I'll tell you, when I... Scoop, scoop, scoop, scoop. But when I auditioned, the whole last act of the film was entirely different. Right. Because they still hadn't, brian leo mali hadn't figured out yet there was a lot of like yeah yeah communicating to figure out how to make both things and in vaguely the same place um but love the books uh so like the final book i think

comes out maybe a month before the movie comes out so at this point it's been like two years since i first auditioned six months on the bench waiting to hear if I got the part. Didn't get it. Was very depressed about it for a while. Was tracking the whole thing. Went and I snuck into a screening and saw it early when there were like people handing out flyers on the street. Test screenings. I loved it. I was like, I hate them.

Not in this. So it was great. Whatever it is. And I go to New York Comic Con with my buddies and he's doing a signing there. The book has just come out. And I step up to get my book signed from him. He looks up at me and says have we met before and I said no and he went are you sure you look like really familiar and I was like no and he's like we definitely like didn't meet like a con or something wow wow so he's pressing it and I was like I mean I don't

think this would like but I was like kind of close to getting cast as young Neil and he was like yeah right that's you and I was like really and he was like yeah yeah because i remember your tape distinctly you look exactly like the real life friend i based the guy on and i like really like the idea of you playing it because you were just identical like that's what he had the energy like you were totally not even playing young neil in the books but you're playing the real guy and he like signed uh my book and he drew young Neil on it. And he said like, uh,

uh, nice meeting you. It was like really nice. It was nice to like two years later be like, Oh, you know, this fucking industry. Sometimes people say like,

no, you never know if it's true. But that was obviously not him bullshitting you. Two years later, he remembered my audition. Cause he would have just been like, Oh, forget it.

But he was like, no, it emotionally affected me. I thought it was really sweet to watch someone. And it had the effect of like you you were playing the guy giving him a little pat yeah this episode might

be our longest ever episode that's not well the commentary is yeah we'll cut some stuff out no we won't no no add stuff in add stuff in yeah Ben if you could add

some stuff in yep yeah if you can cut in like more of the erotic fan fiction I could do that yeah yeah yeah I could do that um maybe. I could do that. Maybe some Michael Jackson music. Would love that.

Can you end this episode with Don't Stop Till You Get Enough? Yeah, play it six times. It'll work. Just back to back to back. And if they sue us, tell them they can take all their complaints right to the UCB. Right to the top. To my boss. Yeah.

All the way to Besser. To the big four. Yeah, tell them to knock on Amy Poehler's door. Yeah. All right. Can Amy Poehler be a guest on this show? Definitely. We'll get her on next week.

I'll email her, see if she's interested. What is she, amy.ucb.com or something like that? It's actually amy.poehler at Gmail. That is RIP Harris Whittles. That is one of Harris Whittles' one of my favorite tweets of his, which was just like, here's a little scoop. Everyone you like,

their email address is just theirnameatgmail.com. Anytime I've ever gotten an acting job where I'm like a tiny part in a thing with big ass actors and there's a mass email, I'm like, oh, literally everyone's email is like tom.cruiseatgmail.com. Everyone.

You could guess any celebrity's email. Now whether they'll reply to you, that's another story. Well, they're busy. They're very busy people. They're very busy people. Producer Ben, thank you so much as always. Oh, of course.

Thank you, gentlemen. Thank you, Fennell. This has been a very angry one, but I think we worked through some of our issues. I feel less stressed out than I did walking in. Me too. This is the best episode that's ever been recorded. Of any podcast.

Slight's going to have to revise their list. And as always, don't stop until you get enough.