Blank Check with Griffin & David - Our Performance Review 3.0 with Chris Gethard - Revenge Of The Podcast

Episode Date: October 30, 2015

This week Griffin and David complete their performance reviews of the Phantom Menace trilogy with special guest Chris Gethard (The Chris Gethard Show, Iron Man 3). Together they examine Revenge of the Sith’s entire cast and rate all the *major players–actor by actor. From unanimous MVP Ben Cooke as Kit Fisto to Jimmy Smits' portrayal of Senator Bail Organa getting a soft pass for “taking the girl” to why Silas Caron as Ki-Adi-Mundi (in one of his duel roles) kills it before being murdered and SO MUCH MORE! SERIOUSLY IT’S ALOT! How does this exhaustive in-depth look compare to some of the actor’s rankings from the previous films? What line of dialogue is David Bowers best known for? What exactly is a salty ol’ space dog? Plus, Chris offers new (and controversial) perspectives on the trilogy/NBA comparisons, justification for background players being good or bad and the many reasons why everyone hates General Grievous. *Much of the cast discussed have seconds of total screen time!?

🎵 Hello! Hello! Let me just open this file. I've got something to review here. Oh my God, it's a performance review, David. Oh boy. It's our annual performance review.

We can't do openings. We're not good at openings. I'm Griffin. I'm David Sims. Welcome to Griffin Day Present, Revenge of the Podcast. Yeah. A mini-series, an investigative mini-series about George Lucas'

third and final Star Wars movie. This is our performance review episode. Everyone's been waiting. People love the performance review episode. Every mini-series we weigh on, cast member by cast member, to answer the question definitively, is the acting good in this movie?

People go, oh, acting's so bad in the Phantom Menace movies. Right, but you gotta take it on merits, on balance. Every single guy gets a pass fail. Pass fail. Every gal, too.

Oh, yeah. Every creature. We're not gender binary here. I agree with you to present. No, I believe in both other movies we decided the acting was bad. Yeah, but it was close. It was too close for comfort both times, and this time I'm going to drop the hammer. I'm going to be real tough and unsparing.

I got very little sleep last night. I'm ready to fucking slam performance left to right. I'm hung to be real tough and unsparing. I got very little sleep last night. I'm ready to fucking slam performance left to right. I'm hung over and I'm tired and sad. I'm doing great. We have a very special guest today. Chris Gethard. Chris Gethard. How you doing, Chris? He's a comedian. He's an actor. He's a hero of ours.

Thank you. He's the host of the Chris Gethard show, right? True. Yeah. But you are an actor. I also am an actor, yeah. Yeah, I mean, this is an important thing to know. I'm not an actor, but you two are actors. You guys have a perspective on this. I didn't even think of that. I'm a critic.

I'll be reviewing other actors. Yeah. I have to be very mindful of the craft. Yeah, of course. Their work. And you should be mindful of the situation they were in, which was a tough one. Absolutely. Context is important.

You know, the environment. I mean, you spent a lot of time on set. You've been working a lot the last couple years. Yeah, I've been on sets. In multiple different capacities. I've seen a set or two. I mean, you spent a lot of time on set. You've been working a lot the last couple years. Yeah, I've been on sets. In multiple different capacities. I've seen a set or two. I've lingered around a craft service table or two. But you've worked on big budget stuff.

You've worked on small budget stuff. I guess, yeah, I guess that's true. I mean, you've been cut out of some very big budget stuff. What's that? You look... Are you angry at me? I'm not saying that as a slam. That's a fact.

You were on a very big budget set. I'm not trying to... It's a bit of a fact. You were on a very big budget set. I'm not trying to focus on the fact that you were cut out. Literally two minutes into the podcast, you just made our guest furious. Iron Man 3. I'm not psyched about it. I'm not psyched about it either. I wish you were in it, but you were on that set.

I might get cut out of Ghostbusters next year. You were in Ghostbusters? Who knows? That's my question. Is that just called Ghostbusters? Or does it have a new... I'm actually not sure. I actually don't even know if I was allowed to say that. That might be a scloosie.

Did you say scloosie? That might be something cut out. Welcome to our podcast. How long is this? Oh, you know, 90 minutes. 90 minutes and Griffin behaves this way the whole time? This is maybe the best behavior I've been on in weeks. Usually I talk about robot pussy and read racist essays I wrote in eighth grade. You only did that the one time, but that was—

Robot pussies I talk about a lot. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not that much this season, because my favorite robot side piece is that. Yeah, great. I did want to ask you, though, Chris, know this movie was mostly filmed on a green screen on a sound stage almost entirely there's nothing right

have you ever been in that situation well I was cut out of Iron Man 3 and was that I was in a situation it was all my scene was all

I was in front of massive amounts of green screens because you know how in the Marvel movies they have those computer screens where people can just like point at them and flick their hands

and move stuff oh yeah of course it was in right one of those sort of scientist business exactly i was playing a scientist who was giving a presentation and able to move all these things around so green screen was a big factor and like don cheadle was covered in ping pong ball so was he supposed to be in armor is that why he was covered in ping pong balls right motion capture balls and uh and so so how challenging is that? We've never talked to someone who's been in that situation. It's interesting.

I did not think about the fact that I've been in that situation. It was only for two days that I was in that situation. That might even be worse because the longer you do it, probably the better you get at flexing that muscle. I will say I remember that it was very stressful because the director had, you know, my movements and where I was directing things needed to be, like, very precise. And there were all these, like, minute adjustments that needed to be made.

It was very difficult. And, you know, you're in an environment where you're surrounded by green, which is not always the most natural. And, like, on a big budget thing, there's, like, a lot of crew that, you know, they'd like to go home earlier rather than later. They don't want to be there while a day player can't get it right where he's supposed to like fling you know, War Machine's helmet to show him, you know, like on a screen.

So it was actually, I would say, I would actually go so far as to say, extremely stressful. Right, and so that's the situation these poor guys were in. Every single day for God knows like, you know, months and months of shooting. And so that's the situation these poor guys were in. Every single day for God knows like you know months and months of shooting. And just for the record. And guys like Ewan McGregor have been doing this essentially for eight years. Like ten years. Yeah.

Just for the record with that series of anecdotes now laid out on the table one could say that perhaps it was not only positive but necessary for me to invoke the fact that you were in Iron Man 3 and not a rude move because I set the context for the entire episode. Well, I think there's just maybe nicer ways to enter that situation.

He's looking for tact, Griffin. Like you kicked open the door. You didn't show up at the party with like, you didn't like show up with a bottle of wine and ask if you should take your shoes off or not. With your tie. You kicked open the door. You drove your car into the garage door.

That's what you did. Exactly, like Jeff Van Gundy. But this is my own party. You know that story? Oh, yeah, I know that story. What's the Jeff Van Gundy story? You know he's the coach of the Knicks? Yeah, I know who he is.

There's this amazing New York Times article, and he's kind of a legendarily stressed-out-looking man. He looks like a really, really annoyed middle manager at some sort of accounting firm who's just got a vein bulging his neck. And had just got bad news all the time. He looks like David Pamer. Academy Award nominee David Pamer. A little bit. A waspier David Pamer.

There's a fantastic New York Times article about him that kind of covers his background but looks at him as like he kind of is this stressed out sad sack. And they reveal two amazing things. One is that when he loses games there's been two different times where he drove from Madison Square Garden to Westchester where his home was and he was so obsessively thinking about the game that he drove into his own garage that happened twice and then but the best detail

in it is that he one time was running late to catch a private jet that the whole team was on to go to a game and that he parked his car too close to the jet and when the jet took off it made his car explode but and i forget what it was but like when he when they talk parked his car too close to the jet and when the jet took off, it made his car explode. And I forget what it was, but when they talk about his car, it was also like, this was in 1999 and he had a 94 Camry or something. It was like a car I could have afforded when I read the article. He's a basketball coach when you read the article. He's the coach of the New York Knicks. He's a millionaire. He's driving around in when he read the article. He's the coach of the New York Knicks. He's a millionaire.

He's driving around in a used car and is getting blown up by planes. But that's just so JVG. It's a great article. He's a great guy. So the point of that story is you are an actor, and you're going to be able to speak from your experience. I definitely sympathize with the actors. Of course.

And I don't want to judge anybody else's work without acknowledging that there were some extreme circumstances. And here's the thing we like to do, okay? Just for a little context here. Sometimes we slam performance

from an actor we love. Yeah, absolutely. An actor we think has done good work before. An actor we think went on to do good work after. And we'll acknowledge that. We'll throw them some props.

Yeah. We'll go, I get what you were up against, but just judged objectively, this is not a good performance. We'll throw them some props. We'll go, I get what you were up against, but just judged objectively, this is not a good performance. We're not rating the actors, we're rating this performance within this film. And who was able to overcome the circumstance.

And are we just doing actor by actor the whole thing? Actor by actor. But are we talking about the film overall? I mean, that'll obviously lead us down a lot of paths. Because can I say something? I wanted to ask, yeah, just the movie in general. I'll say in general, I saw it in the theater. Sure can I say something? Anything. I wanted to ask, yeah, just the movie in general. I'll say in general, I saw it in the theater. Sure.

How many times? One, it's the only Star Wars film I ever saw in the theater once. So other ones you just went back.

The other two I had seen, the first one I saw 14 times because I worked in a movie theater. I remember we wanted to get you on

for Phantom Podcast because you had had that unique experience. and that was bad. And then Attack of the Clones I saw at least twice in the theater. Revenge of the Sith I saw once. And I'll say this. It is better than I remember.

Really? I would say that the good parts are actually good. I agree with that. I'd say the good parts are a lot better than I remember. This is a vital guest to have. I think we've been very negative in the last few weeks. I would say the opening battle scene, that opening space battle, pretty rad. I would agree in a way, but also completely divorced from the rest of the movie.

It's like its own movie. Absolutely. It's like an episode of a TV show. It's a movie extremes. The good parts, I would say, are actually up to the level of anything from what Star Wars has done. So you're saying the podcast race? The bad parts. The podcast race?

Yeah. You just said the podcast race. Oh, the pod race. The pod race. But it'd be great. I didn't love the pod race. Oh, we like the pod race. I'm a fan of the pod race.

Griffin has talked to me about this off mic. Is that okay if I reference that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have told me that the pod race actually holds up a lot better than it is remembered. I think so. I think it's a great sequence. I'll use the word great. I like the Padres.

There's another thing I've noticed, too. I think from an oral perspective as well. There's another very basic thing about watching Revenge of the Sith last night, and this is something I knew, but I don't think... I had so much emotion watching them in the theater when they were out. Of course, the big conclusion of the famed Star Wars trilogy. Yes, I had watched the first one and the second one, and everything had built to this.

Right. But one thing that really rings out that's such a simple fix that I think makes all three movies 20% better. Yeah. If the droids are your bad guys, they should not all sound like assholes. Yeah, they should not all sound like assholes. Yeah, they should not all sound like total dorks. Everything is like,

Roger, Roger, Roger, Roger. The worst thing to me is that they literally go, uh-oh, and like, uh-oh. There's like one part where in Revenge of the Sith, and I would imagine free reign of spoilers, right? Yeah, it's a spoiler-ific podcast. Like when Obi-Wan and Anakin go in to rescue

the Chancellor, and then those two big, R2's hiding out, and those two big droids come back, and they're straight up like, that's a Jedi warship. So if these guys are supposed to be fucking scary, make them sound formidable. Well, this is, there's never any stakes when the Jedi are facing

off with the droids, which they do frequently. They're completely disposable. Let's deal with this like they're sneezing on them. The Jedi just... Even R2 with his Inspector Gadget routine can shut down a few. He can pee pee oil. Make them slip.

That's not the greatest moment in the trilogy. I would also say that when it lights on fire it's actually weirdly grim and violent compared to everything else that's ever happened in Star Wars. This is a pretty grim

movie right. I'd say compared to the other two movies there's some grim content in this movie. And we've talked about this before. For some reason I

don't know if it's thematically the way the scenes are set up if it's visually the way they're designed. The robot deaths in this movie are a lot more violent than in the first two. The deaths feel kind of gross and sad. I would say this too.

I watched the movie and there were stretches where I got very bored and restless. Oh, yeah. It's long. Yeah, but I noticed they all involve specific actors, which probably ties in well today to a performance review oh definitely a lot of stretches I was actually into

but I would also argue this if it ended was it Order 66 I believe yes Order 66 if it ended after the sequence

that showed Order 66 and Yoda just went into hiding if it ended with the thing

where Yoda gets inside that little cartoon rocket ship, if that movie ended there, I would say that it might actually be a satisfying film. So that's probably

an hour 45 in, probably. There's another 30 to 40 minutes. Because then you still got the whole Anakin and them going back to the Jedi Temple and all that stuff.

If it just ended with Yoda taking off, not a bad film. I agree with you. Even darker, though. But you know what that would be? That would be a film that was setting up another film, right? Exactly.

That would be a film that was leaving you with some nice, meaty cliffhangers. What's going to happen to Anakin? This is the completion of a story, Chris. You have to remember. And I would also leave so many loose ends that you couldn't tie up all those loose ends. You'd have to commit to making another three films. Yeah. That's the dream.

I don't know if you know this. George Lucas did kind of stealthily sell Lucasfilm to Disney a couple years ago. Yeah. And so we've been theorizing that Disney, I mean, they have this property. The original three films aren't very well loved, but were very successful. Yeah. They might try to make another movie. I mean, we keep on hoping that they'll announce an episode four any day, which probably wouldn't

come out until like 2018. I mean, if they made an episode four, I'd be really interested. And you know what would be cool about that too? Is like seeing all our original cast come back now aged. You know, seeing like Hayden and Ewan and Natalie. Like a 40-something Ewan McGregor? Yeah, the Holy Trinity. You know, our three leads.

An Oscar, now an now-Oscared McGregor? Yeah, the Holy Trinity. You know, our three leads. An Oscar, now an Oscared Natalie Portman. Yeah. Okay, let's get through the cast. I'm looking at, as I usually do, I'm looking at IMDb. Cast member by cast member? Yeah. IMDb villain. And we go from the top, which is fun.

Oh, can I say one other thing? Anything. One other general thing before we go. It's a safe space. You can say anything you want. one other general thing before we get into this because I'm going to really focus on this

you can say anything you want in the when they go wait where are they when Obi-Wan is riding around on that giant lizard

that's my favorite part of the movie it's called like Utapu or Utapau it's the planet we're fighting with it's the General Grievous

oh my god we're going to talk about General Grievous later oh my god maybe the worst maybe the worst thing but that lizard that obi-wan

inexplicably rides around on there's never been a more blatant cash grab at making a toy than that why does that shit exist I don't know and he's making crazy noises we've talked about this the scene is like

they're like oh he, he's downstairs. And Obi-Wan's like, great. Do you have like an iguana maybe I could ride downstairs rather than just take an elevator? He's like level 10. Great. Should I wait for help or should I get on this thing that kids might buy? I would say General Grievous is a pretty blatant toy. Oh, my God.

General Grievous is the worst. I mean, poorly. Everything about him is poorly. Poorly executed, animated. No one cares about his opinions. He's constantly just like... That one part, remember that one part where he shows up on a ship and then it's just like

him huffing and puffing and he just like gets off the ship and he's in a big rush? He looks like a fucking dickhead, man. Looks like a dickhead. Well, he's always coughing. I mean, he's coughing. There's another middle manager type. And they did not do a good job of explaining who he is at all. They don't do any job of explaining that. Who is he?

We did some research on Wikipedia, which is the Star Wars Wikipedia. And General Grievous was a young warrior who fell in love with a woman who died. And he wasn't General Grievous yet. He had an identical arc to Anakin.

I don't think you can tell the whole Grievous story again. The love killed him and then they turned him into a robot. So he's like an early prototype of Anakin. So yeah. And like as far as

Darth Vader goes it was like there were some things about him that were messed up and then they got it right for Vader. Yeah they were like we need to make some changes.

One he shouldn't cough. He can have like a throaty breathing maybe but no coughing. I'm sure everybody has a weak point but if his is that you can just shoot him in the heart, maybe we use some of this armor to cover his fucking heart. You can shoot him in the heart?

When you shoot his heart, it catches on fire? And then his head explodes off his body? General Grievous is the worst thing about all three movies. I would say worse than Jar Jar Binks. I would agree. I would agree with that too. Although there's than Jar Jar Binks. I would agree. I would agree with that, too. Although, there's more Jar Jar Binks, which doesn't help. But he's almost entirely gone from this third one.

It's true, but in the first movie, Jar Jar Binks is maybe not quite as bad, but he's everywhere. He's omnipresent. You can't get rid of him. That's a guy I feel bad for is Ahmed Besik. We've talked about poor Ahmed Besik. I wonder if you could get him on the podcast. Well, we've been a little mean to him. Yeah, we gave him

a pass two movies in a row. We got really mad at him because he refused to admit that there would be any that there was any racial, like, sort of you know, issue with, like, how people were seeing the character because Jar Jar is an orange frog. That's how he put it. He claims there's no, the characterization is in no way influenced by, uh, hoary old

uh, uh, minstrel show stereotypes. Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah, that's nuts. Yeah, that's nuts. It might not be on him, but, you know. I would also say, out of every actor in the three Star Wars movies, when we were talking about green screen acting and everything, he may have had the toughest job. Talk about the pioneer, too.

I can guarantee you he was covered in ping pong balls and had fucking, like, broomstick, like, cut up broomsticks pointing out of all different parts. Like if you imagine if you saw a picture of him pre CGI, like what he just looked like standing there. I'm sure he looked and felt like a complete fucking asshole. Next to Liam Neeson all the time. Yeah, he's next to Liam Neeson and and he's sitting around afterwards with Sir Christopher Lee. And he's got fucking bent coat hangers coming out of every orifice. It was not easy.

He's like, can I get the coat hangers off? And you're like, sorry, it's actually really hard. It takes nine and a half hours to do your makeup again. All right, so we're going to start at the top. Right at the top. With Ewan McGregor, top billing as Obi-Wan Kenobi. Ewan McGregor. He's got a close crop beard.

He's got a shorter hair than the last movie, and he's really theatrical. And do you guys grade on a number system? We do pass-fail. Good or bad? I would say if we're going pass-fail, he's a pass. Go on, Griffin. I agree with Chris, but go on. This is actually good because usually it's just the two of us

so it's hard to break a tie I have another question just as far as how you guys do this are we judging in the vacuum of the Star Wars movie is he acting well

within the confines of this film or is this a good acting performance like if you stand it up against other acting performances I think we factor in both.

I think we go how well is this actor playing to the film surrounding them? How well are they doing regarding the circumstances of how the film was made? And just as a pure piece of acting. You know, you weigh it out. As a pure piece of acting, it's completely forgettable. Agreed. Within a movie riddled with bad performances, his is not offensive. I give him a pass

I also I like the progress I think that he's pretty terrible in the first movie we gave him a pass the first we gave him a fail the first time

the second time he's alright we gave him a pass yeah I know and then this time I feel like at least while everyone else is so stiff

and tense he like he has a little bit of verve like in the Grievous scene he's kind of joking around he's having fun. Yeah, we talked about that. I mean, now I'm thinking back on notes I've given

on his performance the last couple episodes. I said I liked he was doing kind of the Errol Flynn thing in the Grievous sequence. His delivery of the You Were the Chosen Ones, like actually a good moment. Well, that's his big moment, right? Like if he's got to nail a moment, it's that big. He's screaming at Anakin while he gets burned up.

So, I mean, that's sort of what you have to judge him on. I'll say this. I found it very hard to keep watching during all that stuff. Because it felt like a movie that was over. Felt like a movie that, to me, had concluded about 40 minutes prior. So I did not, I was not, I was very distracted.

Also, can I tell you guys this? My wife is very mad at both of you. Because you've gotten that complaint before. Well, no, she didn't watch it. But, you know, I'm a very busy guy. She's a very busy lady. We don't have too many nights. We're both just home.

And she was like, oh, you want to watch Bloodline? Because we've been making our way through Bloodline on Netflix. Yeah, solid show. Solid. What do you think? I mean, great acting. Great acting. Ben Mendelsohn, that guy is a real star.

But is that family really fucked up enough for me to care? It's a pretty fucked up family, but I feel like I know more fucked up families. I agree with you. They're a little too nice to each other sometimes, but it's a slow, slow burn that pays off. It also is like if the dad just went to therapy twice, it wouldn't exist. If the family went to family counseling. Honestly, communication. That family just needs

some communication honestly they could have sat down once when they were all like 15 and that show doesn't need to happen at all it's hard to invest anyway

my wife's like you want to do it and I was like well you know I'm hanging out with Griffin and David we're doing this podcast so I gotta actually watch

Revenge of the Sith and she was so mad I mean so mad that's pretty much the worst thing when I the first time I had to rewatch it for this, I was with my girlfriend.

I was like, I knew that I had to do this, but I couldn't tell her. I couldn't break it to her. So after dinner, I was like, you know, there's a movie I need to watch, actually. We could watch this. For work. And I just put it in, and she's like, wait, wait, what are you doing? No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, it was terrible.

She was mad. She actually put her earbuds in and watched a different thing on an iPad next to me. Wow, so she wouldn't even acknowledge the movie. Because she wanted to have a night where we were chilling on the couch, hanging out, cuddling. Not never. That means something. Come on. Don't be crass.

We're talking about my wife. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. What if we have Hallie on as a guest next week? Would that sort of make up for it? To talk to her about how she refuses to watch any of these? Yeah, that should be great. An outsider's opinion from something who hasn't watched anyone. But you don't like it, so you're saying fail again.

No, I'm saying pass. I'm thinking it over. I'm giving him a pass. But what's your complaint, if you have one? What's my complaint? I don't even know if this is a fair complaint to throw out. Do it. There are certain scenes in the movie, there's one that just really sticks out in my mind, which is after the first opening, like, gunship battle, where they're chasing after Grievous. And there's, like, this scene where Ewan McGregor's, like,

resting his elbow on, like, the side of the door of the ship. Okay. And it's, like, he's, like, Anakin, go. Go talk to Yoda and Mace Windu. They'll. Okay. And he's like, Anakin, go. Go talk to Yoda and Mace Windu. They'll award you. And he's like, what about you? And he's like, I don't need the lods. That's on the writing.

Yeah, but he's like, it feels like he's not even giving a shit. He's just like, this movie's so ridiculous. Let me just write it. The writing is so bad, though. I know. He's definitely, Ewan is definitely, I think, the most, because he's in it the most, right? He's the one who's really,

Natalie Portman, we're about to get to her. She doesn't have a lot to do this one, I think. So I think there is the most self-awareness. I give him a pass. I do.

Let's talk about- I was most offended. With him, the stuff that trended most towards fails, anytime him and Anakin have those interactions where Obi-Wan has to be like,

I'm your father figure, come on, Annie, you father figure. Come on, Annie, you're disappointing me. Like though, every one of those, you're pretty much nailing the tone right there. Oh my God.

Um, yeah, he's a man, he's a character without an arc in this movie and he should have one. You know what I mean? Like his arc is supposed to be this loss of his son figure. Yeah. But,

uh, mostly Obi-Wan just seems kind of detached. And the guilt of knowing that he effectively plucked this kid out. And it's his fault. Yeah, he blew it. All of his friends, mentors, contemporaries die violently because he blew it. He's pretty cursed. And he didn't listen. It's weird that he's not more bummed out at the end of the movie.

But that's kind of the problem with these movies. It's also kind of the Jedi issue, right? They just don't get bummed out enough. They don't get emotionally affected by anything. Positive warning. There are some points where as Palpatine is revealing himself

to Anakin that he starts talking shit about the Jedi and he's kind of completely correct. Yeah, no, you totally agree. And he's like, there are these obtuse,

arrogant people who like... Yeah, who suppress all their emotions and don't do anything. And like, don't recognize greatness when it's in front of them and like,

it's all political and they don't allow knowledge to when it's in front of them and like it's all political and they don't allow knowledge to get out unless they want it to get out he's entirely correct 100% you know yeah the more I think it over I feel like my my reservations with Obi-Wan in this movie are where

the script fails him not just in like lack of writing but in lack of a real arc with agency, considering that he is in so much of it, and that he was so important in the last two. But as a performance, I give it a pass. I give it a hard pass. What about Natalie Portman who plays Padme Amidala? We've talked about this. She's

in ten minutes of the movie, tops. She's not in it very much. She really just chills out in the apartment. That's a good actor who whiffs hard. I would say if Ewan has a bit of a climb, she has a real decline. Agreed. Because this movie is her nadir in this role. She's obviously sick of it.

Yeah. That's a good, good actor. Yeah. And that is a bad performance. Yeah, we have to give her an L. And it's coming off a, you know, the previous year she'd been in Closer. She got an Oscar nomination. She was in Garden State. She was really like, you know, the previous year she'd been in Closer. She got an Oscar nomination. She was in Garden State.

She was really like, you know, coming into her own as like an adult actress. And then Revenge of the Sith. Yeah, it's a pass. We talked about her last week. No, it's a fail. I'm sorry, fail. Hard fail. Hard fail.

My brain's flipped today. Hard fail. Okay. All right. That's it. Nothing more about Natalie? We talked about her a lot last week. I mean, it's like she's in so little of it.

It feels like, you know, as we said. You're breaking my heart, Anakin. I like that one line read. Just because she plays it so childlike. Well, there also is a stretch, I would say. I mentioned that I found it very hard to focus at all. I was repeatedly checking the status of my fantasy basketball team. Who'd you get first?

Well, I picked 12th in a 12-team league. Great. Tough situation. I managed to get Damian Lillard and Paul George with 12 and 13. You're set.

Are you kidding me? And it's a league with no turnovers. Oh, that's outrageous. Damian Lillard, I got Damian Lillard 12th in a league with no turnovers. We should have gone

7th or 8th, man. Yeah, we got to talk fantasy after this. Chris, I know I said this was a safe space, but we can't talk about sports. But I would say this. I would say,

I'll give this. I mean, total fail across the board. Felt like Natalie Portman, once it got into the, like, one-on-one, like, once she, that scene where she,

where Anakin comes back and he's like, yo, I got us hooked up. We're good to go. And she's like, what the fuck did you do? She actually gets okay. She gets okay.

From that through the end of the movie, she's actually all right. Yeah. I will say, you know, we sort of charted her last week and the first movie comes out, she's a young lady, right? Around the time of Attack of the Clones,

she goes to Yale? Harvard. Harvard. She goes to Harvard, girl. She goes to harvard yeah on harvard they're interchangeable in mind two two fine handsome schools we're gonna lose all our listeners and i think we're a harvard podcast all your many listeners at ivy league school yeah that's who's uh that's who's dialing in please but she spent like four years not really acting that much. And then she came back like right before this movie.

Like she started really hitting it again. Yeah. And like getting real meaty roles, playing like adult parts in like character based films. So I think she kind of like came into this film being like, I'm fucking over this. This is like, let's punch out, you know? I will just give her some credit and say that when the movie, I think this phrase makes sense, like when it got smaller she shined a little more. I agree. Yeah. When it wasn't like let's run around

fucking talking about a senate and traveling from planet to planet, but it was actually like, oh no you did this thing that really you should not have done and you're saying you did it because of me? Yeah. That shined through. Yeah, it's interesting. She is kind of, she's his flimsy justification for child murder

and Jedi genocide and all these terrible things. And she also has four scenes. The child murder is definitely too much. Yeah, it's too much too fast. And the acting is not good. No. But I will say I like that scene. Well, do you like just the sort of the restraint of him igniting the blade?

Yeah, exactly. Like when he comes in and the kid, I mean. The kid's like, me saying. Well, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're going to get to that performance later, the kid. And then Anakin just turns on the lightsaber. I'm like, that was the way to do it. Yeah, I know.

Better than the sand people stuff. I think that brings us to number three. Hayden Christensen as Anakin. Fail, fail. Although, man, did I feel bad. Watching it now with the perspective of time. Yeah. This is a guy, you got to think about this.

Nobody had really heard of Hayden Christensen before the Star Wars films. Had he been in anything? One or two films? He played a couple tortured teens. And like Disney TV stuff. He was a Canadian TV actor primarily. He was sort of a sub-Gosling. And then look, now he's dealing with acting in a green screen environment.

Yeah. All of this experimental technology at the time. And he's got the emotional arc of the movie on his shoulders. Everything's on his shoulders. He's up there. He's in there with Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Christopher Lee, Samuel Jackson. Sam Jackson. Jimmy fucking Smith.

He's in there with these people who are no joke actors. Guy's in over his head. He's like 24, 25. The other thing is, we're watching this movie now and we see Ewan or Natalie phoning it in, and we're just like, well, it's okay, they figured it, whatever.

They're doing fine. This defines his whole life. My wife actually told me last night, after I was done night, she said, after I was done watching, she said, I actually, he was in a movie,

I hadn't seen it, Shattered Glass. Oh, he's good in them. Really good. He says he's great. Yeah. That was his one, I think,

his one solid performance on his films. It plays to his strengths really well. But imagine if he was starting with things like that and then had the time to actually develop and grow

and supporting roles like most actors do. He's a specific type he needs to play a specific type I think he has that weird sort of delivery he has that kind of

high voice you know he has this sort of haughty attitude and his eyes never change their emotion did you notice that yes

no matter what he's saying he has this weird like semi intense vacant look well in Shattered Glass he plays a pathological liar which matches with those eyes very well and he plays a pathological liar which matches

with those eyes very well. Yeah. And he has a sort of like really deep rooted insecurity that he's trying to mask. I want to watch this

Shattered Glass. It's a good movie. Peter Sarsgaard is also in it and he's just tremendous. That was kind of his breakout. What an actor that guy is.

Love Sarsgaard. Peter Sarsgaard was a real real fail. Yeah. Huge fail. It's brutal. In this movie he's terrible. For him to have to carry

this bullshit. Yeah. It's tough to watch. Is it okay that I'm cursing this much? You just curse as much as you want. I talk about robot pussy. It's a safe space. As long as you don't talk about basketball, you can talk about anything you want. You can say anything you want. I talk about what,

Red? You talked about, you read, you know, erotic fan fiction about Obi-Wan sucking Qui-Gon's dick. I've done it before and I'll do it again. Liam Neeson. That was a whole episode. Liam Neeson was involved in it. I know.

We gave him a hard pass. I think he does a gentleman's job. No, we gave Liam Neeson a pass. I would give him a pass. A pass? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. When you say hard...

Darth Maul, Rey. Rey Park. Rey Park. He's good. We gave him a pass. He's an athlete. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's, you know, he's got some presence.

Like a judo guy. Yeah. All right, but next up, Ian McDermott as Chancellor Palpatine. Having a lot of fun in this movie. What do you guys think? MVP. Most valuable performance, I'd say. I would agree, although I do think sometimes it feels like he's in his own special movie.

It's a better movie, though. I think, yeah, he's like, this thing needs some cheese. It needs some real like you know we've talked about the river of ham talked about Ken Branagh's river of ham when Ken Branagh when he was directing Thor was talking to Ray Stevenson who played the role of Volstagg

yes and he was saying more more come on like really Stevenson was like I don't know I don't want to dip my toe into the river of ham and Branagh was like want to dip my toe into the river of ham. And Branagh was like, by all means, bathe in the river of ham. Can I say something controversial? I've been in the river of ham.

No, please go ahead. Ian McDermott. Fail. Oh my God. Now what's your reasoning? And now I was watching with this analysis in mind. And I think we've given him passes for every movie. And he's great.

He's great. Except for one scene. What's the scene? Which ruins it all. Oh, my God. His behavior during the confrontation with Mace Windu is... No. No.

And again, he's killing me. It is so bizarre that it undercuts everything else he did in that movie. I felt bad. I felt like Kevin Arnold bad. You know what I mean? You watch The Wanderers? What do you think was going on in that? That's the scene.

It all rests on that scene. That's where Anakin betrays the Jedi. That's where he's got to turn it all around. I thought Samuel L. Jackson was pretty great in that scene. He's fantastic in that scene. We're about to get to him. Ian McDermott. It's like there's so many moments in all three of these movies where you're like,

was anyone watching? Was anyone even watching them? Or were they all just fiddling with gadgets and lights? Probably. You've got to remember as well, these are basically independent movies. I don't know if the studio is looking at the dailies and being like, hey, George, do you want to maybe... Total free reign.

Adjust every... Well, the problem is the tone is all out of whack. He's all the way up here and then Hayden Christensen is all the way down here. Samuel Jackson's really, I think, finding a sweet spot. But his, I would say, because I was, I'll tell you, all throughout the beginning of that movie, I was like, this feels great. This feels like

a bad guy performance in an old Boris Karloff style. Yeah, right. It feels like a lovably hammy bad guy. Yeah. But once he, in that Mace Windu scene, oh my God. And then even afterwards, once he turns into a total, for a movie that's so dedicated to CGI, all of a sudden you just hang, you fucking, it's like you just melt a couple pieces of plastic and for a movie that's so dedicated to CGI all of a sudden you just hang you fucking

it's like you just melt a couple pieces of plastic and just stick them on his cheeks like that's the one real thing you do like even that he said

when he was like and like that address to the senate yeah where he proclaimed he has now settled he has now settled into it as like

he's a total evil cartoon character right and even that I buy that Mace Windu scene is so bad that it gives me it makes me fail him He has now settled into it as like he's a total evil cartoon character. Right. And even that I buy. That Mace Windu scene is so bad that it makes me fail him. You don't buy the transformation? I mean, it's so many.

Anakin, help me. What about the, do you like the earlier scenes, the opera house scene, all that stuff? Oh, my God. And the writing in that. When he literally, when Palpatine goes, he's a traitor. And Mace Windu's response is goes he's a traitor and mace windows response is you're a traitor i'm rubber you're glue horrible can i defend it for a second go ahead the writing of that scene is so extreme it's on it's on mcdermott man i think he looked at that they they delivered to him hey here are your sides for tomorrow. Right?

George has them in lock and key. And for the first time, he goes, hey, here are your sides for tomorrow. Memorize. It could be off book for these eight pages of dialogue. It's a big action scene in which a guy holds up a lightsaber and you shoot lightning at his lightsaber. And then that somehow reflects back only onto your face, turning your forehead into butt cheeks. Right? Yeah.

The longer you do your own thing, it melts your face, which is weird because how do you know you can do it if you've never practiced it? If that happens when you do that, how do you not know that? Because this cannot be the first time you did that force lightning. Also, he could just stop.

If he realizes, oh, if I shoot force lightning at a lightsaber, it turns my forehead into butt cheeks, just stop, put your hands down. I think I've asked this of you before. Yeah. Was he wearing a mask and the butt cheeks is his real face, or is that just what happens? I think that's scarring.

I think that's the specific scarring effect of that. But they're so symmetrical. It's lightning. Why would lightning make these grooves, these even grooves along his face? That scene should have been great. Yeah. It should be really cool. The death of Mace Windu. And it's the betrayal of Annie. It's the dime, you know?

I think McDermott just went, okay, this scene's impossible. This doesn't make any sense the way it's written. I might as well have fun. This is like a Troll 2 level written scene. That's my point.

I am the Senate. It feels like it was someone who only spoke German, and then a person who largely spoke French translated it into English. It was written by Babelfish. Do you like how he says, Absolute power! Power! Well, moving on from him, though.

He effectively is imitating Starscream from the Transformers cartoon. In that. Megatron! Did you like how they kept that, basically, in the movies? They kept that dynamic with Starscream. I don't think I've seen any of this. Really? I think I maybe saw the first one.

They keep it up. One in three are the two to watch. Two in four are garbage. That is true. All right, Samuel L. Jackson as Mace Windu. We feel very strongly about this. Samuel L. Jackson? As Mace Windu.

Pass, baby. It's a pass. I think that it's his best work of all three movies, too, I would say. I think he's very, like, very kind of milquetoast. Yeah, which he kind of has been the whole time. Yeah. Very Jedi. But again, I would say, like,

it's not on Samuel L. Jackson. Like, he's written as this, like, ultra-contemplative, calm Jedi. This is the only time in history Samuel L. Jackson hasn't been given some big moments to sink his teeth into. He never blows up. Never.

No. Setting hands. I think he slightly sells in this movie that Mace Windu knows that it's all kind of going wrong in those early scenes where he's talking to Yoda, because Yoda can't sell it. He's the first one to be convinced, too, that something's up. Anakin comes to him, and he goes, like, really? Anakin's like, yeah. And he goes, okay.

Let's do it. Okay, fine. I'll follow you through on okay. Let's do it. Okay, fine. I'll follow you through on this. Let's see where it goes. Yeah. There's that fucking one shot I talked about in the past when he's walking into Palpatine's office and he looks like a fucking badass. Yeah.

And Lucas sort of shoots him from the ground. And he's got that crew with him. Yeah. Yeah. That crew lets him down though. My God. They go down in a second well we'll get to them we'll get to them let's not rate them yet fundamentally i mean i'm not rating any of the

acting performances but fundamentally yeah the jedi are effectively supposed to be like what the knights templar were in the in the era in the middle ages sure yeah they are all weak they're all weak people who die with almost no fight. In this movie, they mostly get shot. They mostly get shot in the back. They're mostly like administrators ordering clones around until the clones just kill them. Jimmy Smits as Senator Bail Organa. The Smits.

Now, Smits was in two, and he doesn't do much. And then we saw Smiths was in three, and we thought, all right, Smiths is going to get more. Hi, Billy. We're meat on the bone. Hi, Billy. He's six? He's got a little more. He's fifth?

Sixth bill. Sixth bill. I would say, and this was also kind of his comeback, right? Yeah. The public eye? Yeah, because he had kind of been off NYPD for a while. And he was sort of floating around. After this, he flipped over to Dexter, right?

After this, he starts what I think is his pretty nice, solid run of guest starring. And yeah, he's on Dexter. West Wing 2. He was the president on West Wing. Killed it, Dexter. I feel like he was in something else. He was in Sons of Anarchy. I don't know if you guys watched that.

I watched the first season. Yeah, he shows up in that later. Just for background, this podcast generally is anti-Bits, very much pro-Smiths. We've never weighed in on the nature of this performance exactly, but we just like Jimmy Smiths a lot. Who doesn't like Jimmy Smiths? That's what I was going to say. Give him a soft pass.

I would too. It's a soft pass. He didn't do much except just be Jimmy Smiths. His big scene is where he watches the teenager Jedi die, remember? And he sort of goes, no! That teenager Jedi. That's one of the best performances we'll wait till you hear who he is we'll get to his his real name wait till you hear who he is uh smith's is a soft past mostly just i mean charm and handsomeness he's a good looking scene where he's like my my wife and i've always

wanted a girl and you're like i don't know his wife, but I believe this. I will say it just again about the writing of that. I'm like, dude, straight up, the whole world is falling apart. There's been a coup of the galaxy. He's like, I get a girl out of this? The entire galaxy is a coup, and the defenders of peace and justice are all dead. And you're like, my wife and I, we don't know. We've been thinking of getting a three-bedroom, you know, expanding.

It has to have eyes in a big way. I just want to point out, David, like the definition of a low bar for success. You're saying that Smith gets a pass because in the scene where he says, my wife and I have always wanted to adopt. You believe that he has a wife. Absolutely. You believe that this guy's definitely married. The woman he's invoking offscreen exists. Yeah, who we never meet.

Should I actually say the phrase, I'll take the girl? Yes. Yeah, I think so. That is a creepy thing to say. It's true because they're like, there's a boy and a girl, and he's like, oh. We better split them up for safety. I'll take the girl. One girl, please.

I'll take the girl. Soft pass for Smentz. Soft pass. All right, Frank Oz is Yoda. It's a vocal performance. I have a question for you guys. Miss Piggy herself. Do I, am I judging the vocal performance of Frank Oz,

or is this coupled inherently with the quality of Yoda? That's a good question because, you know. It's hard to separate. And I'm pretty sure that, you know, Oz wasn't doing any face capture or any moving around. It's just the voice. Purely animated. I guess we should just judge Frank Oz.

As far as what Frank Oz does, he did it great. If I was judging Yoda as if Yoda was an actor, I would say one of the lower rung performances. I would say he's pretty lame. It's a terrible character. Physically, it's very unconvincing. Well, I think the real problem

is in the earlier movies, he doesn't have to be very emotional, but he has to be emotional in this and he sucks at it. The scene where he goes like, yeah, I'm holding my head. And there's a really weird part. Like the Wookiee style. I thought that battle with the Wookiees was pretty cool. I like the Wookiees. They seem like an interesting thing.

Where are they coming from? What the fuck is this shit? And then he climbs onto that one Wookiee's head and goes, I'll miss you, Chewbacca. We've talked about this five weeks in a row. Why the fuck is this shit? And then he climbs onto that one Wookiee's head and goes, I'll miss you, Chewbacca. We've talked about this five weeks in a row. Why the fuck is that important? Who the fuck is Chewbacca? Every guest we've had on has pointed that out. It's two minutes.

Who the fuck is this one guy he's singling out? Yeah, why is he just friends with this one guy? And he goes, a good relationship with the Wookiee I have. Since when? So apparently you were buddies with this one guy, Chewbacca? Cool, man. I'm giving him a fail. I'm going to give him a fail, too.

Oz. He never brought it home. Yeah, and you're saying Oz did a good job. Yeah, it's a great voice. We know Frank Oz can spin a mean voice. I give him a pass just because he's a hired gun and he does what he's done. You know what I mean? This is a guy who's sitting in a booth not unlike this one.

Yeah. He doesn't even have the pleasure of green screens or eye contact. You know what I mean? Just to clarify, when you say a booth just like this one. Yeah. He's as far like, he doesn't even have the pleasure of green screens or eye contact. You know what I mean? Just to clarify, when you say a booth just like this one, you mean the booth that is currently being run by Producer Ben, aka the Banducer, aka Purdueer Ben, aka the Haas, aka the Poet Laureate,

aka Mr. Positive, aka the Peeper, aka Will Fennell. Oh yeah, that new one. Of course. Yeah, you're the Peeper. Hey, yeah, I've been here the whole time, guys. Thanks for introducing me. Sorry, Ben. No, it's all right. I mean, I don't have much to add.

I hate this movie. Ben's really mad at us. Ben was, like, actively angry last time we recorded. He doesn't like that this show exists. Well, I had to come in on a Sunday and hear these guys for like four hours talk about this one movie. Ben's face is turning scarlet right now. Yeah, you're legitimately furious. Yeah, it's all right, though.

Call Mr. Positive for a reason. It's okay, Ben, just four more. No, we're so close. Four more years. I want to move on, though. I want to move on to Anthony Daniels' C-3PO. Yeah, but also rate, review, and subscribe on iTunes. Yes, please.

Those are the two things that Ben asked us to do at the beginning of this show. Yeah, please rate and review us. I haven't even checked. Okay, Anthony Daniels is C-3PO. Is he in this? I don't even remember C-3PO. He's not in it that much. Not very much.

Yeah. What a weird character. Barely in the first one, all over the second one. He's like fumbling around all the war sequences. That's the one where his head gets put on the other droid's body and they just figure they've exchanged. They're like, let's play this off. They just trade minds.

Yes. Oh, that was weird. In this one, I would almost say it's like... I would go so far as to say that if I'm just looking at this movie in a vacuum, I have to give him like a... How do I gauge it?

He didn't do enough. It's really hard to gauge this performance. He's in a suit, I guess, so there's some physicality. Can you name me a thing C-3PO does in this movie? Because I don't remember. I think he- At the end, his mind gets wiped for no good reason. Jimmy Smits is like, wipe his mind, which is a little tragic. Three movies worth of memories.

I'm going to say soft pass. I'm going to say a fail because I'm worried about us overrating these actors again. Fuck, it's happening again. I said it was going to be tough today. I'm going to say soft pass. The same justification that you gave Frank Oz, and you know what, I think hired Gunn, he did what he was asked to do,

and I think there's less emotional weight on him. I think Frank Oz could have given a little more emotion to some of those line readings to make up for the lack of physicality and emotional depth in the animation. I'll also say this about Frank Oz, now that I think about it. He's probably, with his work with Henson, probably one of the only people who has the clout to say,

George, we got to rewrite this shit. That's true. And he clearly didn't do that. So I think I want to switch Oz to a fail. Wow. All right, so he's down to a fail. Okay. But what about Anthony Daniels?

I would say like a not, like did not play coach's decision. So you abstain. Like if this was basketball, I'd say like, well, he never got off the bench. Yeah, that's true. DNP. Yeah, yeah. Did not play coach's decision. We've done that before.

It's been very rare, but we've done that before across the last two films. We're going to do it again in one second. I managed to bring up basketball again. Yeah. There's other people who had almost no impact, though, that I do have strong opinions on. I think maybe the next actor listed. Actually, actually no because the next actor listed is christopher lee is count dooku pass he now i say pass yeah well we love him in the first in the second movie so good in attack he really brings some energy to which i haven't really watched in a while so you

guys are comparing it to he's not as good as he was in clones it's clear from both of your reactions clones he brings it and clones he has got a lot to do. The problem is in Sith, he's, yeah, it feels like they sort of forgot that he was supposed to be in it. They were like, oh, shit, we need a Dooku scene. He's got to get, all right, okay, here he is. I still think he's great, though. He's also mostly a head on a CGI body in this movie. Like his only role is that scene where they fight and he's jumping around.

The dude's like fucking 87. He was like 85 years old. Because the first one, not the first one, in Attack of the Clones you can see that he's like an old dude fighting with a ping pong ball. And in this one it's like it's a flubber body. Yeah, that's what we call it. I did think the scene where he

gets killed where... He gives that look to Palpatine where he's like, dude! Yeah, and Anakin's like all confused. I did think Ian McDermott there killsine where he's like, dude! Yeah, and Anakin's all confused. I did think Ian McDermott there kills it when he's like, do it. Do it. I think that's great. I agree.

He's just seeing if he can get Anakin to... Seeing how far he can nudge him. He's very smart. I'm the tiebreaker here on Christopher Lee. Oh, are you going to give him a... No, I'm saying pass. I think we're both saying pass. You're saying pass. You said pass. Oh, you said pass? I haven't watched clones in a while. You guys are feeling disappointed. No, no, I'm up on Lee. Oh, are you going to give him a... No, I'm saying pass. I think we're both saying pass. You're saying pass.

You said pass. Oh, you said pass? I haven't watched Clones in a while. You guys are feeling disappointed. No, I'm up on Lee. I'll say pass. I think Christopher Lee is basically never bad. Yeah, I agree.

I really love Christopher Lee. Next build is Keisha Castle-Hughes as the Queen of Naboo. This is a non-speaking role. I don't know if you know who we're talking about. I do. Academy Award nominated for a performance of Whale Rider. Yeah, she was a recent Academy Award

nominee for a great performance she gave in the New Zealand film Whale Rider. Hard fail. In this film? Hard fail. I completely agree. Hard fail. Nothing regal, nothing royal. You gotta figure, she must have shot some stuff and they were like, thanks but no thanks.

Right? Because you see her at the funeral for one second. And I cannot separate, I know this is not this actor's fault, but the completely unexplained politics of the interchangeable queen of Naboo. Let's elect another 12-year-old. It's always a teenager. I cannot separate it in my mind. I will always hate this. Explain it.

Just explain it. One person was the queen. Now you're the queen. Let's try to unpack it. You know how our country, there are like 200 countries and they all elect heads of state. This planet decided it just needed one and that it should be a 12-year-old girl. I think it's a

planet of in-denial pedophiles. And I think they're all going, no, no should be a 12-year-old girl. I think it's a planet of in-denial pedophiles. And I think they're all going, no, no, no, 12-year-olds are just better at making decisions. Yeah. That's the only reason we want them on the throne. Terrible performance. We're going to move on. I'm going to give her a pass. Well, I'm failing her.

Terrible performance. Why are you giving her a pass? Because she's got a tear in her eye and she looks kind of sad. But she looks like a handmaiden. Terrible. If it's not Keisha Castle-Hughes, you don't even notice that person. We're really ripping her in.

All right. Silas Carson, I'm giving her a pass. Silas Carson, he plays two roles. He plays Newt Gunray, the leader of the Trade Federation. And he plays Ki-Adi Mundi,

the sort of Easter Island-headed Jedi who gets, you know, mowed down. He's got a penis head. By his clone troopers. May I? Yeah. Nate Gunray fail, Ki-Adi-Mundi, big pass.

Griffin is delighted by this. Big pass. Ki-Adi-Mundi? I've been waiting to talk about Ki-Adi-Mundi. Let's talk about Ki-Adi-Mundi. It's one of the only one of the only members of the Jedi Council who to me feels like he has the actual gravitas

that is constantly said but not shown. Right, invoked about these people. As far as a show not show don't tell thing Ki-Adi Mundi is probably the only member of the Jedi Council

that is showing a sense of there's experience and battle scars. Dignity. Dignity, a level of wisdom and like a level of sacrifice that you earn your seat at this table. Ki-Adi-Mundi, to me, is that. And I mean this in a very real way.

And I also think that he, in Order 66, a lot of the Jedi's die pretty punk deaths. He steps up. He's trying to lead the charge. He's leading the charge. He's jiving in there with his lightsaber. He turns around, and you get that look on his face where he's like, how could this be happening? And he tries to fight back.

Yeah, it's rough. I mean, I don't— Newt Gunray, though, is an embarrassment. Of course. Don't you think all the Jedi stuff should have had almost like a Walking Dead vibe? Like all the clones fucking flip out and go into this frenzy where a thousand of them overrun each Jedi? yeah and we've also discussed like it's weird that it's not clarified whether order 66 is like um a programming thing that then like switches their brain and makes them go crazy that's what i

assume or if they just follow orders yeah if they just go okay well what i really hate and we talked about it before but is that he literally says, like, Commander Cody, execute Order 66, which implies to me he even has to call everyone else. Oh, gosh. Be like, hey, Commander, your name is Timmy. All right. He didn't group call. He didn't do a conference call. That guy's name is Cody.

Cody. He's the commander. Newt Gunray, embarrassing. Embarrassing. He Adi Mundi, I would say one of the high points of the trilogy. Should we split? You do get one MVP per performance of you, just so you know

I'm saving mine, I know who mine is Because in the past we haven't split That's what's interesting Okay, you guys disagree We'll give him a pass for Ki-Adi-Mundi but then we'll also give him a fail You guys agree with both of those? But I want to talk more about what's your opinions on Ki-Adi-Mundi?

I heard from you, Griffin, you haven't really expressed your feelings on Ki-Adi-Mundi. Oh yeah, weigh in on Ki-Adi-Mundi. We've talked about him before, you know, in passing. I mean, this is my thing. In the past,

we have combined the two characters into one performance and we hate New Gunray so much that we had nice enough things to say about Ki-Adi-Mundi and, uh, but New Gunray so wildly overwhelmed it that we didn't really go into it.

In this movie, I hear everything you're saying. I do think there's a sense of authority, a sense of power. I find him a little arrogant. Wow. But again, is this one of the only layered performances in the entire trilogy? Yeah, I mean, you're winning me over on that. Because here's the thing. I do feel like there's a quiet arrogance about Keiari Mundi.

I also feel like there's an unspoken sadness because he's kind of separated and he's seen too much in his years. I feel like that arrogance is caused a little bit by that separation because he is, you know, he has special powers. Of course there's arrogance, but it also separates him from any sense of normalcy or normal relationships. And I feel like,

I can feel the sacrifice Ki-Adi-Mundi has made. And I think of it this way. You look at all the Jedi, and I would say there's only two or three where it's like, if you were making

comic book series, Ki-Adi-Mundi... He's one of the first, I would be like, I want to know more about that guy. Sure. Almost immediately. I mean, one of the biggest failings of this movie, I want to know more about that guy. Sure. Almost immediately.

I mean, one of the biggest failings of this movie is that you got all these Jedi Council guys. They're in every single movie. You'd never find out anything about that. Yeah. It sucks. Stupid. You've won me over.

Ki-Adi-Mandi passed. Well, we're going to- Luke and Rey fail. Let's move on to Jay LaGaia as Captain Typho. And just to remind you guys, that's this guy. I don't even remember him in this movie. He's in the last one. Fail. Fail. I can tell't even remember him in this movie. He's in the last one. I can tell you where he is

in this movie. He's the guy with the eye patch. He replaces that one guy that died that one time. Captain Panaka doesn't even die in that film. Panaka doesn't die? He's just not there anymore. He's just gone. Maybe he just didn't want to play anymore. He's probably working for the new queen. I don't know. He's got one moment in the film.

It is when Padme is boarding her ship to go to Mustafar to try to talk Anakin down. Sure, talk him down. There is a wide shot. Okay. Never cuts into a close-up. It is like a wide establishing shot of the ship, and Padme is like the size of an ant in the frame, and she's boarding the ship, and Typho's behind her.

He's like, Padme, are you sure you want to go on this trip? I do remember that fail. It's a bad performance. Real bad. As soon as he said it, I was like, fuck. This is a tiny performance in all senses. It's physically small within the frame and he's barely on screen

but it's bad. It distracted me. It's bad line readings. All right. I agree with you guys. And I hated him in the last movie. Bruce Spence, as Tion met on, that's this fella. Oh.

Yeah. Yeah. All right, now Griffin's really high on this actor. Griffin's holding up his hand like he wants me to stop my, what I'm going to say. Whatever you're going to say, I just want you to factor something in, okay? Because I said this to David and he wasn't that impressed.

Bruce Spencer. You like interrupted like a conversation and see, but go on. Because I think this is like cool to know. Yeah. Played the gyrocopter pilot in The Roadward. He's like a legend. I don't care about that. Really?

Boom. Never seen that movie. Really? Oh, you should see it. It's good. But is that one of those Mad Max movies? Yeah, it's the second one. Did you not like Mad Max?

I don't like Mad Max. You don't like Mad Max. Fury Road is the most overhyped thing since 300. Well, I hate 300, but love Fury Road. I think history will remember Fury Road as a 300-esque thing. Oh. Oh. Style.

Fighting words. That being said, this guy in this movie, huge pass. Terr. Oh. Style. Fighting words. That being said, this guy in this movie, huge pass. Terrific. Huge pass. You're immediately like, whoa, who's this guy? He's in charge. One of the only people who's dressed like an asshole that actually overcomes the costuming to make you feel like that.

So much costuming. Let's give you this face. Let's give you weird teeth. Let's make your collar hide your ears for some reason. But the work he does with his mouth alone showing pictures to the fellow to my fellow podcasters again in the writing i would say that it's this weird thing where obi-wan shows up they all come out and he's like yeah everything's fine and then obi-wan's like well i'm here to investigate and he's like he's here it's like well if someone was watching

you or listening Griffin has made this exact point. It's so great. He's like just come a little closer. General Grievous he's downstairs.

Like he couldn't overhear that like if you were just too deep. Because you would only behave that way originally if you were being surveilled. Yes.

Which you're clearly not. And doesn't even really like lower his voice just changes his tone. No. Same volume. And as soon as Obi-Wan shows up, you know that's a Jedi. Yeah. So you either got to be chill from the start, or you got to speak in code the whole time.

That guy's great. His performance is great. It's great. I think he's a legend of Australian cinema. Is that true? I think so. There's a lot of Australian actors in these movies. He was in The Road Warrior.

He was the gyrocopter pilot. Yeah, I don't like those movies. He was the mouth of Sauron in the deleted scene in Return of the King. Only a deleted scene? Yeah, they cut that out of the movie. He was the voice of Chum the shark in Finding Nemo. This guy's a boss. I want to move on, though.

We gave him a pass. You're really leading the charge. I know how this gets. This credits list is long. You're really leading the charge. I know how this gets. This credits list is long. You're stopping this from being really long. It's easy to go on a tangent about any of these guys, which is how we've spun 35 episodes or whatever. 25 episodes.

If you guys ever want to do an episode just about Ki-Adi-Mundi, although we'll get to another character. It would have to be about Ki-Adi-Mundi and maybe one or two other people. I'd be down to do this. I think I know where you're going with this. Honestly, the billing order is crazy, but next is Wayne Pygram as Governor Tarkin, who we don't even hear speak in this movie. I don't even remember him being in the movie.

He's in one scene at the end of the movie. He's standing with Darth Vader and Darth Sidious, watching that circular, the sphere thing get made. Oh, the killer star. Yeah, and he's just standing out there with them. What was that sphere thing? Oh, who knows? It's like a who knows? They're obsessed with it. They like vaguely allude to it

being like a big weapon, but it's never really fucking explained. Weird. So I guess he's like a sort of future empire bureaucrat guy. But he's literally a background player, right? And he's got this insane makeup. He's got the biggest cheekbones. This guy probably wasn't even SAG. He had to be non-union.

This guy's background purely. You think he got an extra rate? I think he got extra. I'm giving him a fail because he's got a dumb face. You're just dumb face. You're just giving him a dumb face. I would say fail. If they want to bill him that high, then I'm going to judge him for what he did.

I was not impressed. Just to tell you about Wayne Pygram, the only, I mean, he was in 61 episodes of Farscape, a show I've never seen. Playing what? Playing who? Scorpius. Okay. I don't know. I've never seen Farscape.

What's Farscape? Chris is just laughing. Jim Henson. If there's a show you've never heard of. A professional TV Chris. I feel like it's hard for- I haven't seen everything, guys. Come on.

But it's hard for there to be 61 episodes of a thing and for you to not at least have heard of it. Oh, I know Farscape. I've heard of Farscape. Okay. You know, it's like a Muppet sci-fi show. It just was never my thing. More than 61 episodes.

You haven't seen it. You're the Muppet guy. I know. More than 61 episodes. This guy was only in 61 episodes. Oh, wow. There's more. He probably cracked 100.

Yeah. All right. He's got that syndication. We're giving him a fail, wow. There's more. It probably cracked 100. Yeah. All right. It's got that syndication. We're giving him a fail, though. A fail. All right, so Tamora Morrison. Ben really hates this podcast. No, he's loving it.

He's furious. You mean the peeper? It's fun. The peeper? You talking about the peeper? Yeah. I'm just over here in my corner really just soaking this in. Tamora Morrison, who plays all of the clones, but is credited as Commander Cody.

Commander Cody. And in the second movie, obviously, he was Jango Fett. Yeah. In this one, he's just- I was very confused by why those people had to be clones. It's freaking confusing. Yep, as were we. Makes no sense.

Nope. And why would they pick that guy to clone them off of? I cannot, I never, I can never stop being irritated by it. Nope. It's really weird. They're all clones. Shouldn't they all have equal abilities and stature where you can commute? And they're all wearing helmets.

So shouldn't you be able to just have some sort of communicator in their helmets? How do you get promoted to commander, Cody? What makes you better than your brother? Did he get a little extra genes when he's built? Like, yeah, is it like this one's gotta be a commander? Yeah, do you think he earned the rank of commander or was he

brewed to be a commander? I don do you think he earned the rank of commander? Or was he, like, brewed to be a commander? You know, I don't know. I'll say this, though. I agree with all of that. I find it very irritating. All of that's within the writing as far as his actual performance. I say pass. I say the same.

I say pass. You say pass. And it's mostly— I'm giving him a fail, but he's going to pass. Really? Wow. I would watch that guy in other things. That's why I think of that.

He's a good actor. He's got a lot of presence. And I've seen him in other stuff. He does have a lot of presence. But I watch that guy in other things. That's why I think of that. He's a good actor, and I've seen him in other stuff. He does have a lot of presence. But I think that he's really annoying. I don't know. I really, like, he just comes off so stiffly in all the scenes where he's communicating with Obi-Wan or Anakin or any of these guys, right?

That's the role, though, I would argue. I'd say that's him playing. Don't make me realize. They're supposed to be friends, though. It's always like, hey, Cody, how you doing? You know? And he's like, very good, sir. Why don't there's that scene where they go to Dave and Buster's?

They have a great time. There's a lot of chemistry. The Ki-Adi-Mundi and Commander Cody go to Dave and Buster's. Between the clones and the Jedi, don't you feel like a lot of this movie, this Palpatine, was just like, it would be easy to kill all these people. Yeah. Pretty easy to just kill all these people and take over. He just likes ineffectual armies.

I'm going to move on to David Bowers as Mas Amedda. Who's this guy? Oh, pass. He's Palpatine's- That blue guy with the horns? Pass. Yeah, Palpatine's like, what is he, like his secretary? Doesn't say a word.

Can't take my eyes off him. Pass. In one of the movies, he says, this is a crisis. Really? I don't remember which one, though. I think it's Attack of the Clones. Attack of the Clones. Because it's in the trailer.

I just remembered that. There's a rant. There's lots of chaos. And then they just got to him going, this is a crisis. But David, you remember that line reading enough to be able to properly impersonate his voice. He's in there. He had a buttery baritone. He's a pass.

Pass. One of the top passes. Now I'm interested enough just to find out who David Bowers is. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm glad I clicked on his IMDb page. Here's his bio. He is best known for his classic line.

I'm not kidding. In Star Wars Episode II, Attack of the Clones, quote, this is a crisis. That is literally the top of his IMDB profile. Best known. He will be remembered. I'm amazed he didn't pick up more work off that. Because he killed it. Anyway, good on you, David.

Definitely some of the makeup, though, to give actual credit where credit's due in a movie that I'm shitting all over, definitely one of the examples of makeup where I'm like, that's in the sweet spot. I want to know more about his whole... It doesn't look like CGI. I want to know what planet he's from. I want to know his race. I want to know...

Well-designed character. Oliver Ford Davis. He's in all three movies. Asayo Bibble. We've talked about him. He's in Phantom Menace. He's in Attack of the Clones. Is he in Revenge of the... I don't remember. He might just be in the funeral scene, right? I think maybe one other moment.

Now, this guy's real. Chris is just laughing. Is his name really Sio Bibble? Oh, yeah. What does he do? Well, I've always referred to him as, like, Griper in Chief because he's always just next to Padme going, like, oh, they're invading.

Like, this is terrible. What are we going to do? If you get a rewatch, he's got a really big part in Phantom Menace. He's in a lot of it. And he's always relaying messages to her and stuff. He's like, I don't know what he is. Because Padme's on a ship with the Jedi. He's the guy like keeping shit on lockdown in Naboo.

He's like her main aide or he's a- Yeah, I don't know. He's like a civil servant. He's called Sio Bibble. I think he's the head of this this pedophilia ring who keeps on electing these little girls

you don't need your conspiracy theories I give him a fail on moral issues alone I give him a fail I give him a fail this is a hat trick garbage

Sio Bibble this is a hat trick three straight movies he's gotten only fails and also I want to I always say this but Oliver Ford Davis is a great actor. I saw him do

King Lear on the British stage. He's a renowned Shakespearean actor in Britain. So he's phenomenal. He's so good. Is he knighted? You know what? I'm going to look that up. He's definitely got something. I almost typed Sio Bibble, but I remember that's not his actual name.

I don't know if you know this, Chris, but David grew up in London. I think I was vaguely aware of that. Adolescence in London. A lot of times I'll be dismissive of an actor and he'll be like, but I'm telling you, his stature on the West End.

Yeah, in England he's a big deal. Look, I've seen King Lear a few times. He's the best King Lear I ever saw. Yeah. He's really good. Salah Bibble sucks. He's a pederast. Fuck him.

Ahmed Best is Jar Jar Binks. You gotta get that. I'm on record saying this guy had it harder than anybody. You gotta give him a fail. He's a fail. I mean, what does he do in this movie? He's in the Senate, right? He's in the Senate.

He's like the Senate representative from Naboo. You see him in the background. And you see him in the funeral looking dejected. He's one of those little discs. One of those Senate discs. Yeah, one of those pogs or Beyblades or whatever you want to...

He has zero lines. That's right. He had a couple lines in the second one, but he's nothing in this one. And like, you know, this was pre-performance capture. It was sort of like

performance reference more so. Like they had him on set. They were looking at how the lighting affected him, but like they weren't really truly translating his movements in. So I don't know what he really did.

Which is a shame, because I believe this is true. My wife was in stomp with Ahmed Best. That was his only credit prior to Game of Thrones. I didn't know your wife was in stomp. That's crazy. She was briefly in stomp, I believe at the same time as Ahmed Best. Cool. At the very least, she knows him through that circuit of New York City like performance art

theater crossover. And she knows him and says he's Does she have like a positive impression of him? She says he's one of the nicest, kindest human beings she's ever met.

Would he want to be on the show? I don't know. Oh my god. That'd be a coup. So next week we're having Hallie on the show. We're having Hallie on the show next week.

You should. Alright. You could have a podcast with my wife and just ask her what I'm at best is like. I'm sorry. There's a bunch of names.

I don't know who any of these people are. Okay, let's breeze through them. No, but I mean, I really don't know. Give me character names I probably know. Okay. Remus Antilles, played by Rohan Nicol. I mean, I look this guy up. I don't remember him.

Who is this guy? Oh, you see him on the ship. He's talking to Bail Organa. He's to fail. He's a fail. Yeah, he's a fail. It's a total fail but that ship let's acknowledge oh great ship we're pro smith ship yeah anti-bits pro smith

pro smith ship uh yeah i'm just gonna show uh chris the ship we're talking about in case he's forgotten this ship yeah that's a cool very good ship yeah nice interior. Okay, Jeremy Bullock as Captain Colton. This guy. Who are these guys? Big pass. You like it. You like it. This is an old guy.

He seems to be at the controls of something. I don't know. Seems like a guy who's been through a lot, and he's been tasked with the controls. We are judging him on their profile pictures. He's a salty old space dog. He's nail profile pictures. He's a salty old space dog. He's nailing it. He's a salty old space dog. All right.

I want to give him a fail. I want to give him a fail. I'm going to tell you why. No, I'm passing him just because of that. That was great. He's a salty old space dog. He's also a pedophile. We have to acknowledge this.

Is he Naboo? Yeah. Okay. He's from Naboo originally. I'm actually refusing to sign on to your pedophile thing. You're layering your politics over it. I'll also say, you're fighting so hard for this pedophile thing that it's making me wonder what you have to hide. Are you guys pro-pedophile?

Is that what you're trying to tell me? No, you're hung up on it. The lady does protest too much. Okay, let's go on. I'm just trying to talk about the movie. Amanda Lucas, who must be related to George Lucas. I believe his daughter. As Tar-Tanil.

Again, who is this? I'll tell you. A red-headed woman. She's got sort of like headphones. She's got like big metal domes on her ears. I'll tell you who she is. When they go to the opera, she is standing outside the entrance of the opera. I give her.

Oh, Ben. Ben just sighed very loudly. Do you have something to say? How long have we been going, Ben? How long have we been going? We're talking about a person outside the opera. I give her... Oh, Ben just sighed very loudly. Do you have something to say? How long have we been going, Ben? We're talking about a person outside of the opera? You just want us to be done so bad. Don't worry, we're definitely not almost done. No, we're not even near it. No, no, we're kind of near. I'm going to give her a pass

because I like ladies with colored hair. Yeah, no thanks. Fail. If I don't know you, except if you're a salty old space thug, then you get a fail. I'm sorry, you didn't if you're a salty old space dog, then you've got to fail. I'm sorry. You didn't make an impression. Well, that is the thing about this. It's easy to say, like, oh, extras are background,

but there's something to be said for, like, you serve a function, and if you're too distracting, you're not doing your job right. If you leave no impact, you're not leaving your job right. I would say that that old guy at the controls is nailing being an old guy at the controls, whereas this person will have no impression it's a fan. Kenny Baker is R2-D2. Okay, now this is the one where we've abstained.

We've never been able to judge this performance. How do you judge it? It's a little guy in a bucket. Like, what's he doing? And this movie, especially, a lot of CGI that he's not even doing. Yeah, it's real. He always just gets a question mark from us. I'm giving him his third straight question mark on my list.

They clearly value having him on set. It's completely impossible to know what his job is. There's no face. There's no voice. Non-applicable. I mean, it's like rating a key grip. He seems to operate it really well. I mean, I guess.

But you don't know if the best boy was really doing most of the work. You can't rate the key grip. All right. Matt Sloan as Plu Clune. That the uh cockroach he gets he gets shot out of the sky i think that's his death oh that was him yeah yeah he's cool pro just because i'll say this his whole thing is to be mysterious and kind of badass yeah he's got an unchanging face the guy doesn't trip the guy doesn't he doesn't have't have any weird herky-jerky movements. He looks like a badass.

Stays in the pocket. I agree. Yeah, even as he's getting shot down. Even as it's all going down. And you'll say that, too, because through all three movies, you're like, that guy looks badass. And then he does have a badass death that he sells well. I would say it was a phenomenal piece of acting.

I agree with you 100%. I also think it's a pass. I just say it was a phenomenal piece of acting. I agree with you. 100%. I also think it's a pass. I just want to once again reestablish how low our bar is. Your measure of success is he doesn't trip. It's Plo Koon, right? It's Plo Koon, yes.

Plo Koon, Ki-Adi Mundi. I want to, I mentioned when Ki-Adi Mundi came up that there's someone else, there's one other person I want to put in this conversation.

Oh, there's a third though. There's a third person. You still have your MVP token. You're waiting to cash it in. Peter Mayhew as Chewbacca. Fail. You're giving him a fail. I'm giving him a fail. I would say pass. He's tall.

Real tall. Congrats. I'll also say this though. There's a war on and he's hooting and grunting it but there's a real sense of urgency there that I appreciate. Yeah, I like Peter Mayhew. I give him a fail. Wow. I just don't understand why he gets all this attention.

Well, you're putting that on the character, though. He's got a gummy snack in his image. I would say a solid pass, actually. Did you say a solid pass? Yeah. I'd say, yeah. Joel Edgerton as Owen Lars. Now, Joel Edgerton's become a pretty famous actor.

We've talked about him in the past. Who is he? He's Uncle Owen. Oh, who isgerton's become a pretty famous actor. We've talked about him in the past. Who is he? He's Uncle Owen. Oh, who is he now, you're saying? Yeah. He directed and starred in the movie The Gift recently. He was in the MMA drama Warrior. Yeah, he was in that movie Warrior, the MMA movie. He was in Exodus, Gods and Kings as King Ramses.

Black Mass. He played the main FBI agent. He was in The Great Gatsby. I love him. I think he's Australian. The movie closes on him looking out at the suns with the baby or whatever, with his wife, I guess.

I don't think he talks in this movie. I would give him a pass. I gave him a pass too. That moment felt like it had some weight. I was uncertain about how it was going to go. So you guys are going to give a pass to Bonnie PS, who plays Beru? Yeah.

Same logic. Yeah. I buy the two of them being in love with each other. Without words, standing next to each other, you buy a sense of casual, unforced intimacy. Okay, now- Hardscrabble people get by. Yeah. I've been excited to get to this guy.

It's Jet Lucas as Zet Jukasa, the teenager who gets shot in front of Jimmy Smith. That's George Lucas' son? Son of Georgie Porgie. Wow. And he does a bunch of martial arts, which apparently he wanted to show off on screen. George was like, let me give you a platform to do your martial arts. I'm going to tell you what. Good call.

Big pass. So you're saying in this case, nepotism, thumbs up. That kid I thought was impressive. In a series of underwhelming Jedi deaths, to cut to like this. To cut to this Padawan, who's putting up a fight and has this fire in his eyes. That's what I'm saying.

Fuck you up. This is bullshit. You've got that Twi'lek girl. She just gets shot down in the back. Straight up doesn't do anything. She doesn't even turn around. This kid, he takes down a couple clone troopers before

they get him. Yeah. Without harping on this too much, I give him a definite pass. I think he's one of the stronger performances in the film. There's an argument to be made that maybe one of the things that's working here that isn't working in the rest of the movie is George wrote to his strengths.

He went, Jet Lucas, what's he good at? He's got a fire in his eyes. He's good at martial arts. Maybe if he'd done that with other actors in the film, we would have had better performances across the board.

Could be true. That kid, though, I mean, I would go so far as to say maybe the most memorable Jedi death? I would agree. And a moment where

it was like actually... You're ranking above Ki-Adi-Mundi? Well, here's the thing. It is the only stretch of that montage where it feels like, oh, this is a thousands-year-old order crumbling within minutes. Yeah, right. Someone is scared and furious,

and this is a last-gap effort to just fight back that fails. You buy that this kid thinks that he might be able to fend off the entire clone trooper army himself. Yeah. He's not giving up. Yeah. Very good. Pass. Pass for him.

Pass. Big pass. We're moving on to Tux Akin Doyeni. Great name. That's not the character's name? No. That's the actor's name. Actor's name. Who plays Agen Kolar, this guy,

who I believe is one of the guys who gets taken down by Palpatine. Yeah, alongside Windu. Alongside Windu. Yeah, pass. This movie's going to get a plus from it. I don't like him. What's your problem with him? I don't know.

I don't get enough of a sense of authority and wisdom and power from him physically. And a lot of this is I think it's an uninspired character design. I know that's not on him. I know that's not on him. But I think physically, you're saying like Plo Kloon, right? Yeah. That dude, we can't see his fucking face. Yeah.

And he's got a rad cockroach face. Yeah. We all admit that. But like what you're saying is that dude, when he walks on screen, you buy it. There's a presence. Yeah. Agent Culler never registers. You know what?

You're right. I'm switching to fail. I was going to say. I mean. I'm switching to fail. And Jedis, there's a higher standard for what I want out of them. The only thing I'll say is maybe he's supposed to be kind of like that. Because, I mean, he goes down like that.

Right? You know? Yeah, he sucks. But let's not talk about him anymore because that's crazy. Because he doesn't even have a line in the movie. Matt Rowan as Orn Free Ta. Okay, I love this guy. This is this sort of fat senator guy.

He's got big tentacle heads. He's got like a triple chin. Yeah. I don't know if he talks, but he definitely goes like this, like, like during the Senate scenes a lot. Yeah, I like them. He's great. He's really a lot of physicality. I just want to be known. I had,

when we just announced that we were doing Revenge of the Podcast, moving on to Revenge of the Sith, I had at least one person tweet at me, please talk about Orn Free Ta. That person is out of their damn mind. Waiting for Orn Free Ta to come up. We all give him a strong pat. Yeah. Again, doing a lot with a little is the of their damn mind. Waiting for Orin Freetata to come up. We all give him a strong pass.

Yeah. Again, doing a lot with a little is the name of the game with a lot of these characters. Oh, Jesus. This is terrible. All right. Anyway, yeah. Good job, buddy. Are we over halfway through this list?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. We're really just, honestly, I think most of the rest of this list is just the funeral scene, and we're not going to talk about them. Let's just keep going. It's just faces in a crowd, essentially. There's someone that we definitely haven't gotten to yet. That's my MVP.

I also want to be known. I'm about to throw it on the hammer. I'm going to get really tough, really judgmental. We're giving out too many passes. I'm going to start getting really harsh. I don't know who Chris's MVP is, but okay. Kenji Oates as Saisey Teen. I like that guy. I don't remember this guy as Saisey Teen. I like that guy.

I don't remember this guy. What does he do? I like that guy. He's another Jedi. He's a Jedi. He's got upside down goat horns. That's on the council, right? Yeah.

Yeah, he's got strong eyes. I know I just said I was going to lay down the hammer. This is a pass. This is a sub-plow-clune. Very much so. With a similar vibe of like, I want to know more. All right. very much so but a similar vibe of like I want to know more alright Amy Allen is Ayala Sakura

who is the sexy Twi'lek Jedi who gets like and I'm sorry to say it but she is she's the sexy Jedi very appealing and she gets shot

in the back and she's on like the most outrageously designed planet that's like giant flowers and shit it's like a sub avatar type planet

and it really annoys me every time I see it. Anyway, I don't like her. I think she's bad. I'm giving her a fail. I'm debating in my head because here's my thought process. I don't want to judge her just because she's being pitiful to this sexy Jedi. It's not her fault. No, but for me it's more the death. The death is so weak.

Really bad. But is that her fault? You know, I mean she could at least... She doesn't sell it. True. You know, she doesn't sell that something's wrong. Yeah, it's true. And here's the question I throw to you, Chris.

In the moment before she dies, do you buy her as a Jedi? No. You're right. Fail. That's actually an excellent point. You're right. And it's also the placement in that montage means that things should be building and it actually dips.

I agree with you. That's partially on her. I agree with you. That. I agree with you. That's partially on her. I agree with you. That's not totally on her. That's partially on her. And her character, her presence feels like pandering to throw in a sexy lady Jedi. There are some strong female Jedis.

Yaddle, ever heard of her? The one below, pushed out? I'm moving on. Sandy Finlay, who plays Slymore, this person. Sort of like a white lady with crazy white eyes and a big high collar. I don't remember who she is. Is she another one of Palpatine's person? Yeah, she's one of Palpatine's

crew. Chris loves this one. Who is that? Talk about Slymore. Do you know who this is? Yeah. She's in Palpatine's crew. She's always over Palpatine's shoulder. Except for the big scenes. I think she's sitting next to him in the opera and then stands up to leave so Anakin can take

her seat. Correct. And I think also when he makes his big reveal like, I have now been scarred by the Jedi in front of the Santa. She's like over her shoulder. She's in clones as well. I give her, fuck, I give her a pass. I'm giving her a fail. I'm saying fail. I think she's creepy. Okay. Anyway. The fails win. Genevieve O'Reilly

as Mon Mothma. I don't know. This is like a red-headed woman. I think she hangs creepy. Anyway, Genevieve O'Reilly as Mon Mothma? This is like a red-headed woman. I think she hangs out with... I don't remember. Question mark. Okay, wait. I actually need to look some of these people up because I don't know who they are. Fang Zar? No, that's not a person. Sorry. Who? Fang Zar.

Character or actor name? Warren Owens is the actor. You have a picture? Yeah, I do. I do have a picture? Yeah, I do. I do have a picture for you. We want to see it. He's a senator, apparently. Yeah, things are.

I want to know. Oh, fail. That's a fail. He's an old guy with a beard. I don't know who he is. All right, all right. Okay, here we go. This is good. This is good.

Matthew Wood as General Grievous. Fail. Now you wanted to talk about it. What a fucking piece of shit character. What a pile of shit performance. What an insulting to everybody's fucking intelligence

both intellectually and emotionally speaking. What a fucking train wreck character, skittering around on the floor like a little fucking jerk when you're supposed to be this person everybody's chasing. How did this person rise to prominence in any army? Why are the Jedi so obsessed with getting this bumbling fool that can't do anything right?

None of it makes sense. The performance is deplorable. I hate it. I hate everything about General Grievous. Three fails here. No question. I'm also going to give him my LVP. I'm going to give him my award for most valuable player. I didn't give out

a most valuable player. I don't know who I'd give it to. I guess I'm going to have to think about that. It might be Sam Jackson. Anyway. As what? As your MVP? I'm wondering who the MVP is. Yeah, I got mine. Alright, so I think this might be it. Is it Ben Cook as Kit Fisto? Ding, ding, ding.

Kit Fisto is the shit. Did you sense from the Ki-Adi-Mundi-Plo-Kloon obsession? Yeah, I got it. I got that you were- Is there a character in these movies that you see less of, that you want more of, more than Kit Fisto? In the second one, in the third one, give me my Fisto.

What's the deal? He looks cool, acts cool. Everything about Kit Fisto is fucking cool. Carries this film. Carries this film. Absolute MVP. Without the keystone that is Kit Fisto, this whole movie crumbles.

Kit Fisto, by far, by far. You get this sense. I could tell you. I saw Kit Fisto for roughly four seconds in this film. Here's what I know. Kit Fisto, Jedi Master, yeah, but probably on the younger side, probably on the more rebellious side,

goes off and does Kit Fisto's thing a little too often for the Jedi Council's comfort, but gets things done his own way. Maybe he doesn't need the clones as much as others. Maybe he's one of the ones that's voiced some discontent about, why are we relying on this? Because it's easy, that's never been our way. Kit Fisto is someone who gets out in the field, does his own thing. Kit Fisto doesn't care if

he needs to go undercover, clandestine for months, even years at a time. Kit Fisto gets the job done. Maybe Kit Fisto doesn't play nice with others. Maybe Kit Fisto doesn't get along with everybody all the time. He doesn't play the politics. He doesn't play the game. He goes and he gets it done like a Jedi.

Kit Fisto, MVP, now always Serac. Wow. Just to clarify for you guys, he's the guy with the green treadlocks. He's got big black bug eyes. Big bug eyes. green treadlocks. He's got big black bug eyes. Big bug eyes. And treadlocks. In the second movie, I think he pushes someone over, a droid over. And he's got like six fingers.

No, but he's running like a motherfucker. When they go inside that big stadium that's very convenient for the fucking battle, he's running like, I'm going to fuck shit up. And he's psyched that he gets to do it. Kit Fisto seems, you know what it seems like? Like every Jedi master has a stretch before he's a master where he just gets real into the fact that he can fuck shit up. And I get the sense that Kit Fisto is right in that phase.

He hasn't settled down yet. It's not about wisdom. It's about fucking shit up. And talk about tragedy. Cut down on the prime of his life. I mean, you're saying this is a man with only potential ahead of him. My guess is that if you, like, if, I would have to, because I'd have to imagine

that these Jedi as individuals are legendary characters, like, you know, like baseball players or basketball players are to us when we're kids. And I have to imagine, I don't think Kit Fisto's the LeBron James. That's probably Yoda, right? Yeah, sure, right. And then you got Kevin Durant is probably Mace Windu.

Yeah. Ki-Adi Mundi is probably- I think he's DeMarcus Cousins. He's like a DeMarcus Cousins. Wait, wait, wait. How the fuck did you do this? You're talking about basketball. Yeah, DeMarcus Cousins.

But wait, who's your Kit Fisto then? He's like an Iguodala? Westbrook. Oh, that's great. Kit Fisto is Westbrook all day. Yeah. All day. He just brings the thunder.

Tell me that doesn't make sense. No, no, it makes total sense. Kit Fisto is the Jedi Russell Westbrook. He's someone who approaches his job with joy and energy and fury. And he's a wrecking ball. But here's the thing. But he needs to be pulled back sometimes. And a surprisingly high assist rate.

Yeah, you know. You think he's a wrecking ball and a ball hog, but guess what? Serge Ibaka is not hitting corner threes without Westbrook going one on four and drawing all the attention. But Kit Fisto enters situation. You know what he is? He's responsible Anakin. is not hitting corner threes without Westbrook going one-on-four and drawing all the attention. But Kit Fisto enters situation. You know what he is? He's responsible Anakin.

Yeah. So you think maybe they should have just invested the Anakin money right in Kit Fisto. I want to see a movie about Kit Fisto. Do you want to see it with Ki-Adi-Mundi and Plo Kloon? Yeah. Maybe the three of them hanging out? Tell me you wouldn't watch a movie

with the three of them hanging out. Of course I'd watch that movie. Are you kidding me? Jedi Wrecking Crew. Those are the three everybody wants to see. So do you want to know something interesting about Ben Cook

who plays Kid Fisto? Oh, Clooney's like the snake eyes from G.I. Joe. Yeah. He's snake eyes. Uh-huh. Now, I just want to show you. Here's a picture of Ben Cook.

Here he is. What does that guy look like to you? Who does he look like to you? Jason Statham. Guess who he is. Jason Statham's stunt double? Boom. Oh my God. He plays Jason Statham's Guess who he is. Jason Statham stunt double? Boom. Oh my God.

He plays Jason Statham stunt double? He's Jason Statham stunt double in like so many movies. Wow, man. This dude. And he is a fight coordinator in a lot of movies. Other people obsessed with Kit Fisto? Yes. Oh yeah.

I think Kit Fisto is a real, because his look, you know? The best. There's like a big Kit Fisto following online. I'm really glad. Is there any place I can get more info on Kit Fisto? Wikipedia. Wikipedia will tell you lots about Kit Fisto. And are there comic books and shit? I think so. Do we know? Yeah. There's Expanded Universe

Kit Fisto. I want to read all the Kit Fisto. We're basically done, but there are two performances. Come on, we're not done, we're just getting started. We just got the Fisto. There are two performances I really want to highlight. It's a great name, too. Kit. Kit. Single syllable. Strong. Kit. It's not like Plockvar or one of want to highlight it. Kit. Kit. Single syllable. Strong. Kit. It's not like Plokvar or one of these dumb fucking Busby, whatever these fucking dumb

George Lucas names are. His name's not Plokvar or Busby. It's Kit. Fisto. Oh, my God. Fisto. He's a Jedi. He's a fighter.

It makes sense. Even Plo Kloon is pushing. Ki-Adi-Mun-Rad name. Plo Kloon right on the edge. Yeah, yeah. Kit. Fisto. Fisto.

Tell me more. What are you looking up there Groovy? I think we have to do a little character spotlight for Kit Fisto Just cause Chris D'Amato I wanna know everything about Kit Fisto I like Chris' take more than I'm gonna like Whatever bullshit is on Wikipedia MVP baby MVP

In the third movie I'm pretty sure all he does is Get stabbed in the heart By Darren Sidious In another scene Now, in the third movie, I'm pretty sure all he does is get stabbed in the heart by Tarantius. Is he in another scene? In the first one, I think he's sitting on the council. Not in the first one. He's not in the first one. He enters in clones.

So in the second one, he's just in that battle scene? Yeah, but he does a fair amount. So is he even a master, or is he just a knight? That's a good question. I bet he's just a knight. Chris is slamming his fist against the wall. I bet he's just a knight. Sorry, I invoked fear.

A real look of fear in everyone. I briefly glanced at Chris with, what are you doing? Motherfucking fist. I like the Russell Westbrook comparison. He's the Westbrook. So who's Anakin in this? Anakin is... Because I feel like Anakin, you know, it's sort of like great potential but lost.

You have to let us do it. Griffin, you have to imagine it. You're doing it. You have to understand it is the type of thing people love, though. I know. Well, you don't love it. I'm looking him up. I'll find a good answer.

Anakin is like a... Is he like a Greg Oden? Is he like a, you know... No, because Greg Oden's a little more tragic in that he never even got out of the gate. Right, it's true. You need someone who at least had a brief run, but then... Tyreek Evans. Tyreek Evans.

Great, great, great comparison. Rookie of the year, but where'd he go? Where'd he go? He's taking shots away from Anthony Davis. Selfish player. Yeah, he really is. Tyreek Evans. Or, great, great comparison. Rookie of the year, but where'd he go? Where'd he go is he's taken shots away from Anthony Davis. Selfish player. Yeah, he really is. Tyreek Evans, or maybe Brendan Jennings. But Brendan Jennings-

Brendan Jennings could figure it out. I still have hope for Brendan Jennings. Yeah, he's kind of come back. Yeah. Although, tearing his Achilles or whatever he did, that's- Yeah, you said Kiari Mundy was a DeMarcus Cousins. Don't you think DeMarcus Cousins is a little emotional? Yeah, I guess-

Don't you think Kiari Mundy plays a little cool? Well, DeMarcus Cousins could be almost like a Count Dooku guess. Don't you think Keanu Mendes plays a little cool? Well, Demarcus Cousins could be almost like a Count Dooku or a... I'll tell you who Keanu Mendes is. Andre Miller. Oh, wow.

The professor. You're going for the professor. Yeah. All right. But still, but like, because he's old. But still wily.

And still is right in there boxing people out. He can use his physicality. Yes, and his smarts and his wisdom. Keanu Mendes has been around a while, you know? You know who Anakin is once he turns into Darth Vader? Who's that?

He might be Kobe Bryant, right? You know, he's like limited all of a sudden, you know? He's still got it all, but he can't use it all anymore, you know? He's got all it in his head, but he's physically limited. And he invokes fear. Yeah. You know, he has to just be about image at that point. Yeah.

And he has to be about attitude. Yeah. Okay, just a few little tidbits about Kit Fisto. So, I mean, I'm saying present day Kobe Bryant. Yes, yes, yes. I understand. Not Pete Kobe Bryant. Kit Fisto.

Did you watch the Minnesota game last night? I watched the whole game. I didn't. Yeah. Although I have Hibbert on my fantasy team. I took a chance on him. You got to double-double. Yeah.

You know, he's going to pull down redowns for you. Double-double, two blocks. I'll take that. Yeah. Ten for ten on free throws. I took a chance on him. You got a double-double. Yeah, you know, he's going to pull down redounds for you. Double-double, two blocks, I'll take that. Ten for ten on free throws, I'll take that. I took Porzingis as my last pick. You did. You got him last. That's awesome. Yeah, I know.

I was pretty happy about it. Dude, I picked up Gerald Green and Rodney Hood, my last two, and last night they both played great. I had them on the bench, but they played great. Rodney Hood is going to pour in buckets. Yeah. Seriously. That team doesn't have a point guard.

Gerald Green had five three-pointers. So I hate everything that's happening. I just want you to know Did you watch the Knicks last night though? It was genuinely exciting. I did watch some of the Knicks.

It was awesome. Kit Fisto. Yes, yes, yes. His distinctive head tentacles contained highly sensitive olfactory receptors Yes! He smells through his tentacles.

Yes! that allowed him to detect pheromonal expressions of emotion. Yes, he could smell emotion. Yes. And other changes in body chemistry. What a crazy power. This was indeed a unique attribute not afforded to any other species of Jedi.

So is it his species or is it him personally? Is it the combination of his species and his Jedi ability? Both. Oh, nice. He was a master. He was on the High Council. What's his planet? What's his race? What's his alien type?

His alien type is... There's a lot of tentacled peoples in this universe. All the Twi'lek. Which I think there maybe was only that one. I see people dressed up as Twi'lek, though. There is another guy. There's a guy, I think.

His homeworld is called Glee and Selm. I like that. His species is that he is a Nautilin. That's kind of a nice old-fashioned name. He's amphibious.

He's an amphibious Jedi. I'm going to let you, because this is a very long Wikipedia entry. Give me your phone. Can I just read some of the headings of the separate sections? Yes. For how cool this guy's history was, okay? Battle of Genosis. We know this.

This is when he comes into the arena and starts fighting the clumb. Battle of Mon Calamari. Ooh. Tasty. And look, it's him shirtless underwater, fighting with a lightsaber underwater. Is this from a comic book or something? Let me see. Holy shit.

Ripped. Skirmish on Kamino. Not of battle. Skirmish. Just a skirmish. You know why it was just a skirmish? Because Fisto ended it before it could become a battle. He nipped that shit in the bud.

Kamino, to remind you, is the planet where the clones are made. That's true. Skirmish. Someone was trying to shut down those clones. Skirmish on Deveron. Okay. Whatever. Mission on Ord Sestis. Down to mission.

So he's maybe secret agent stuff at that point? This guy goes undercover. He don't bring... It's crazy to imagine a guy with like... 55 clones and a big weird helicopter with him. He has green tentacle hair. How's he going to go undercover? He smells your happiness and he gets it done.

Smells your deception in your life. Duel with a cyborg. What? Oh, damn. Why isn't this in the movie though? This is the thing. Anytime I read this shit, you're like, wait, where is this in the movie? All this shit.

Fisto, this is why Fisto- So Fisto is, I feel like- Even though, again, all Fisto does in 3 is get cut into pieces by Palpatine. He at least fights him for a second. He fights Palpatine. Does he come in with Mace Windu? Yeah. And that cool badass shot where they walk through.

He's what's cool and badass about it. Return to Mon Calamari. He remembers. Back for more. Honest to God. And I know I'm hyping him up. I know I'm flipping out. Yeah, but it's fun.

It's just a fun. This is the Star Wars fanboy in me. Yeah. Not that I grew up with it, but I locked into it. But if you bought a Star Wars toy, you might want yourself a Kit Fisto. Kit Fisto. I'm just saying, wouldn't you, if they let those Jedi charge in, and Mace Windu charged in and was like, go,

and Kit Fisto ran for it, They let those Jedi charge in, and Mace Windu charged in and was like, go. And Kit Fisto ran for it, and it was like a three-minute battle between Palpatine and Fisto. Wouldn't it be a significantly better movie? Yeah, no question. I mean, it would probably have been an Oscar contender in that case, right? Absolutely. No question. Jason Statham's stunt double.

Amazing. Killed it. How are we doing on time, Ben? We're at 90 minutes. Cool. So we got to wrap this up. Okay. Lightning speed. But I got, no, there's two more I want to talk about.

Okay. There's two more I want to talk about. One is James Earl Jones as Darth Vader. Uncredited, by the way. Uncredited. Wow. Which is crazy. Buried down here deep, but James Earl Jones.

The guy from The Sandlot? Yeah. In Field of Dreams? Yeah. from those baseball movies I thought he only did baseball movies apparently he does voiceovers they brought him out for one non-baseball movie that's weird we're talking about he's in the Lion King why didn't they let Hayden Christensen do that?

he's the voice of CNN well maybe they really want to sell you on this guy's done this guy's so done he's got a whole new voice. I'm going to say pass. You could say... Yeah, pass, 100%. For voting.

Well, but where do you come down on the no? The no! Oh, come on. It's pretty rough. Yeah, it sucks. Yeah, so that's on Jimmy. It's a robust no. I don't like it as a character choice, you know, like on George's part.

But he delivers it. I mean, he hits the consonants well, the vowels, you know. Consonant. There's only one consonant in the word now. I thought it was maybe like five Ns and then like 20 Ns. No. Okay. Here's the final character I wanted The final performance I want to mention

That I did not know existed until just now George Lucas Uh huh As Baron Papanoida Yup Here's a picture of him Uh huh He's apparently in the audience in the opera house

He's outside Yeah you see him outside Yeah Outside with his daughter While we're deciding May I let you know what the score is Please We have 17 and a half pass

Wow 17 and a half fail Holy shit Two undecided So this is going to make or break Your overall performance review It's all on Georgie Lucas Every time we say we're going to come down hard

And it's so close. Are you kidding me, dude? We gave like eight passes to guys who don't have dialogue in this movie. But they got presents. One was a salty old space dog and nailed it. He nailed it. He took it and he ran it home. Can I give just a few little details about Papanoia?

Here they are. Here they are. There he is. Fail. Just let me say There he is. Fail. Just let me say a few things. Fail. Let me say a few things. It's a hard fail.

He's a statesman and a playwright. He was an influential figure in Coruscant affairs, a well-known intelligence provider, anti-Palpatine-ist. I didn't even know there was an anti-Palpatine movement and lover of the performance arts. Fail. Palpatine-ist. I didn't even know there was an anti-Palpatine movement. And lover of the performance arts. Fail. I got none of that.

He's not selling it. I got none of that came across. We're talking about a guy who's never acted before and chose. He looks really physically uncomfortable on screen. He really does. I will say it. His arm movements are really weird. He's somehow inflated like his sort of bullfrog waddle.

You know he has that kind of chin that goes all the way to the neck. Which theoretically should work well for an alien. It looks weird.

It looks awkward. He's got a cane in one hand and he's gesturing with the other hand talking to his daughter outside the theater and he looks uncomfortable.

It's a fail. So I just can't think of a better way to wrap it up than with George Lucas failing the entire cast of Star Wars Episode III. Because of him. Conclusively, the acting is bad in Revenge of the Sith.

Kaboom. What do you think, Chris? I would say that Kit Fisto is so good that he might get two passes and even it back out. Audacious. That would tie it up. So final awards, I give McDermott my MVP.

I give Matthew Wood, who by the way was a sound engineer, the voice of Grievous. They didn't even fucking hire an actor. They almost had Gary Oldman. And then Oldman couldn't do it. So they went to Matthew Wood down the hall. And who was your MVP? My MVP is Ian McDermott as

Palpatine. My LVP is Matthew Wood as Grievous. He's my LVP, too. And we give out a most improved award. I don't want to sound condescending. It's only because my MVP— We give out a most improved, much like the NBA. Okay. Yeah.

Only because my MVP is already taken. I give most improved to Kit Fisto because he does bring it in this movie. And that's not like a pat on the back. I'm saying he improved so much from the because he does bring it in this movie. And that's not like a pat on the back. I'm saying like he improved like so much from the second to third that he almost took MVP. Yeah, I mean, for me, it's got to be Jeremy Bullock.

He brought it home. The salty space dog. Is your most improved? No, I'm just kidding. He wasn't even in the previous. No, I don't know who my MVP is. He was a salty old space dog. He's a salty old space dog.

I think you said Sam Jackson. I think Sam Jackson's my MVP and I wish he was in more of this movie. LVP is Matthew Wood? Ugh. Oh my gosh. What was he thinking?

It's the Dracula accent that bothers me, honestly, more than anything else. The coughing is the deal breaker for me. Most improved? Has anyone improved in this movie?

You were giving it to Kit Fisto. Yeah. I think he's better in clones. What? What? He knocks over a droid. It's awesome.

In clones. He does all kinds of cool shit. I don't know, Chris. I'm actually mad. Oh, my God. I don't know. I don't have a most improved. I give up.

MVP Kit Fisto. LVP General Grievous. most improved, also Kit Fisto. Yeah. Oh, boy. Well, Ben, final thoughts. Yeah, Ben, please. I don't know, man. Like I said, you are scarlet with rage.

You're a ginger gentleman to begin with. And now your face is even redder than your facial hair. Final thoughts. Kenny Baker's a little person, right? Yeah, he's a little guy. Okay. Well, I just found that out. That's your final thought.

Thank you, Ben. The peeper himself. The peeper. What, you thought it was a full-sized human inside a little trash can? Who knows? I don't know. Yeah, I mean, it's not clear how they... It sure could be perspective.

Yeah. Weird perspective stuff. Okay. Ben, I clock your anger, because fear leads to anger, and anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering. Okay.

Chris, thank you so much for coming to our podcast. Thank you for being here. Thanks for sharing your Confisto thoughts. Scholar and a gentleman. And I hope you've made a compelling case to our listeners that Kifisto is really the star of this film. I feel like most people already agree. Yeah, I mean, but I think there might be a new wave of support

just as a result, right? I could see it. Change takes time, you know? Yeah. And we're living in New York City amongst turned-on people who are really smart and with it and ahead of the curve. This podcast goes out across the world. There's maybe some kid in

Uganda right now who's like this. I feel like the logline of this movie is one young Nautilin warrior returns back to base. Moments too late. It's true. If only he was on this shit earlier. If only he was in charge of Anakin

rather than Obi-Wan. He's like Mace Windu with balls. You don't think Mace Windu's got any balls? I think Mace Windu is too slogged down in red tape and Kit Fisto doesn't buy into that. Yeah, he's just a renegade. Yeah. He doesn't have to worry about that stuff.

Nope. Any other thoughts, Chris, as you leave us? Let's see. The other people I have on my fantasy team, I took Kevin Love when Hassan Whiteside was still available. I don't know if I like that choice. Kevin Love's a good choice. Did you see LeBron saying they're going to run the offense through Kevin Love?

I know, and Hassan Whiteside is kind of a hit. So, Griffin, you're starting to kind of get what I like every week. Now I finally understand. This is George Hill. George Hill had a producer, Ben. That's good. Yep. This is what it. George Hill, head of Producer Ben. That's good. This is what it feels like to have the haunted goblins invade your studio every week and talk about things you hate. It just sounds like another language happening in front of you.

I took mellow. You did. I don't understand it and I'm angry simultaneously. And then I got John Wall at like 16. But you can't add to it. You have nothing you can offer. So happy. This is also terrible podcasting right now.

I've always wanted to have a team with John Wall. Last year I picked first. This year I picked last. He always goes right. George style. I almost got him this year. I would love to have John Wall. John Wall is going to be a superstar this year.

I'm not sad about Damian Lillard. He'd like Kit Fisto at least, right? Lillard's going to be great. And Paul George I think will be good. You know who I took though CJ McCollum I mean he scored 37 points last night so you guys

you don't love him I'm not in love with him I mean he's like Portland that's awesome I could come up with a cooler character exactly

he's been laboring for two years I ask if you love him there's a difference between being in love and loving trying to think I don't love him

I honestly I'll put it as a challenge I bet I could come up with a better character by next episode. Okay, that's your assignment. Next week, you have to come up with a better character. Can you hand me my phone? I want to show David my fantasy team.

Okay, so thank you so much for listening to this show. Thank you, guys. It's right behind you. Rate, review, subscribe. I'm really busy finishing the podcast. I'm sorry, my hands are occupied. David, don't hand that phone over. It's too cramped.

Well, we're signing off. Rate, review, and subscribe. Listen to other UCB podcasts. pied um uh david don't hand that phone over it's too crisp well we're signing off rate review and subscribe uh listen to other ucb podcasts next week ben's gonna come up with an original character that sounds awesome uh star wars what if segment this is if al pacino was a battle droid roger roger and as always so it's always gonna be pacino i don't know we're pressed for time we always put it off to the last second so i don't know. We're pressed for time. We always put it off to the last second, so I don't know what else to do. Merchandise spotlight by a Kit Fisto action figure. This is a great one.

This is a great one. This is a great one. Was it okay? Oh, this is one of the best. Yeah, this is a great one. Performance review. It's always a knockout. This is maybe the Kit Fisto of episodes, dare I say it.

It was a bit of a renegade. And it was brave and dashing and Greg Monroe how did I forget I have Greg Monroe too awesome

Brandon Knight and as always Myers Leonard I got Myers Leonard too fuck basketball Trevor Ariza should I drop him already

that's always fuck basketball always fuck basketball in perpetuity bye guys thanks for listening