Blank Check with Griffin & David - Piranha II: The Spawning

Episode Date: September 18, 2016

In the debut episode of a new mini series examining the filmography of James Cameron, Griffin and David discuss 1981’s B horror, Piranha II: The Spawning. But what is the story behind Cameron’s first “unofficial” offering as a director? What was the main request from the italian financiers of this film? In it’s 84 minute runtime are there more fish or people spawning? Together #thetwofriends delve into Cameron’s early career, share their mutual appreciation for actor Lance Henriksen, and attempt to make sense of this bonkers plot.

it's podcast to the spawning. That's a great line in that movie. No one's watching this, but I think this will be... No one will watch it. There is no thing we have covered, including the buried secret of M. Night Shyamalan. What about praying with anger? I think more people look that up on YouTube. I don't think many people watch that. I don't know if anyone's going to fucking watch this.

This is a great start to our new mini-series Guys, I'm David Sims I'm Griffin Newman This is a podcast called Blank Check We go through the filmographies of directors Who experience early success And then are given a series of blank checks By Hollywood to do crazy passion projects

Sometimes those checks clear And sometimes they bounce, baby Sure We talked about a lot of filmmaking project. Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce, baby. Sure. We talked about a lot of filming. Yeah. George Luther. Boom. M. Night Shyamalan. Ha ha. The Wachowskis. Oh ho.

Cameron Crowe. And now we got a new director on deck. Good old Jimmy Cameron. That's right. You voted for him. We gave him to you on delay. Good old Jimmy Cameron. That's right. You voted for him. We gave him to you on delay. You demanded him, and we kind of heard you. Yeah, we heard you.

Add an echo. This is back-to-back Camerons. Back-to-back Cams, but not a first name this time, a last name. Hey, no. This is the... James Francis Cameron. Yes. And by the way, because everyone's been waiting,

the name of this miniseries is, after much debate and hand-wringing, the name of this miniseries is Podinator colon Judgment Cast. Now, you don't have to say the colon aloud. I mean, Griffin does, but you, the viewer, listener, does not. Look.

It's your call. It'd be pretty cool if you did. Now, we know it's a bad name. We know. You can tell us, but we know. We would argue we had no better options. We thought long and hard about what to call this thing, and there were no good options.

Pod me like one of your cast girls sounds like a threat of sexual assault. It does. I had suggested pod AlienCast. He did indeed. And who's he? Well, of course, that is the noble producer of our show. In addition to being one of the world's finest film critics. In fact, nay, the world's finest film critic.

Our finest film critic. He is the producer of the show. He is producer Ben. He's the produer. He's the producer of the show. He is producer Ben. He's the producer. He's the Ben-ducer. He's Mr. Positive. He's Birthday Benny. He's the tiebreaker. He's the fuckmaster. He is not Professor Crispy. He is the peeper.

Yeah. Oh, what's the new one? Great or Hot White Benny. Right? That was one. Hot White Benny? Yeah. There was a White Hot Benny or something. White Hot Benny floated in one episode. I forget which one. Oh, yeah there was a white hot Benny or something white hot Benny floated in one episode I forget which one oh yeah I can keep track of this listeners tweeted us about whatever that is because I forgot

yeah I forgot too guys greet him with a hello fennel yeah if you see him on the streets uh huh uh fuck master in the sheets I know I repeated that one but that's I can't avoid that joke opportunity because that just came to me. What else to say about him?

Well, of course, you know, we've done different miniseries. At the end of miniseries, he, you know, graduates to different titles, such as Producer Ben Kenobi, Kylo Ben, Ben H. Hamlin. Yep, I was easy that one. Ben Sate. Sure, it was obvious. Yeah, and the results of our poll. Kylo Ben. Ben H. Hamlin. Yep. I was easy that one. Ben Sate. Sure. It was obvious. Yeah. And the results of our poll.

We had a poll? We had a poll. We podcast? We podcast and we had a poll. I missed this. Was this on our Twitter? Yes. With 17% coming up the rear.

Alohas. I don't even. Oh, alohas. I get it. That's cute. I thought so, too. It doesn't look great, but it sounds fun. Yeah. It's very subtle said aloud.

Yes. 19% in second place. I was surprised because I thought this was going to be the winner. Say Ben-y-thing. Oh, Say Ben-y-thing didn't make it? Came in third place. Okay. In second place with 30%, Vanilla Sky.

Now, here's the thing. Oh, boy. i think that would have been the best nickname i think we shot ourselves in the foot by mispronouncing vanilla sky all season vanilla sky right and then we went to vanilla sky sometime okay okay but what's the winner and the winner with 34 percent benny lane he is now officially all right benny lane ben You made it. It's in our hearts. Okay. Yeah. Great job, guys. Ben Hosley's here and we're talking James Cameron. He's holding his arms up in the air. He is. A la Kate Winslet. Yes, on the bow at the Titanic.

That's right. Kate and Leo. We had you. At HelloFennel. We're not at Kate and Leo. We're not. We're not even close to Kate and Leo. This is an inauspicious debut. We are at Trisha and Steve who are the romantic leads of this movie. I feel confident committing an episode to a movie that no one will fucking watch. No.

Because every movie we're going to be talking about from here on out is one of the biggest movies of all time. It's insane. There are no dips at this point. What a run. We've done a blank check guy every time who's, guy or girl, who's been sort of early success. Oh, no. Crazy, like, bottoming out.

Maybe a rebound, and then, ooh, something really weird. You know, like, bit of an up and down. James Cameron is up, up, up, baby. Yeah. Basically. He gets a bigger check every time. Yeah. And it clears.

With one exception, they all basically do better than the last one. And here's the thing. The one exception, the one that bombed at the time. Yeah, quote unquote bombed. The abyss is what we're talking about. Right. Has now undergone a serious critical reevaluation. People love it.

It's a beloved movie. It's a groundbreaking movie. It's maybe his least beloved, but it's still pretty beloved. Any other filmmaker would be very happy to have the abyss in their deck of cards. Literally groundbreaking. Damn. That was good. That was-

Let's go. Yeah, that was good. Game recognized game. Let's get out of here. Ben's doing a lot of hand gestures. He's dancing right now in his seat. So, James Cameron. Yes.

Let me give you a little backstory on Jimmy. Jimmy C, we call him. Yeah. I mean, that's what I call him. Jimmy C to his friends. Jimmy C. He was him. Yeah. I mean, that's what I call him. Jimmy C to his friends. Jimmy C. He was born in 1954. Good year.

In Ontario, Canada, in a, I can't even say the name. I mean, he grew up in Chippewa, Ontario. Okay. Which is, I believe, where Leo's character is from, except they don't say Ontario. In Satanic? In Satanic, he's from Chippewa. I can't remember. Oh, okay.

We'll get back to that. Yeah. So he's a Canadian boy. Uh-huh. You know, goes to school. So he's a Canadian boy. Goes to school. Drops out of one high school. Take it easy, baby.

Make it last all night. James was a Canadian boy. Great. We just got a mean review saying I cut you off too much, so I didn't cut you off. Entering that. He enrolled in college? Uh-huh. He dropped out of college.

Cool beans. In 74. He was a truck driver for a while. Yeah. And started learning about special effects. Yeah. And then in 1977, he saw Star Wars. Yeah.

So it's a good connection to our original miniseries. Yes, and I believe, I might be wrong about this, but I believe at some point he wanted to be sort of an engineer. I think he was interested in sort of working in vehicular engineering or something like that. When he went to college, he was studying physics. Okay. Yeah, so maybe he was pursuing, but he didn't last. I might be misremembering this. He didn't hack it.

I remember him in some interview saying like growing up, maybe when he was younger, that was sort of his idea but it makes sense because he has a very technical mind you know both in terms of structure and machinery and pushing technology but his films are very

you know like they're very tightly made yeah his storytelling is even very technical you know very technical even here

yes I just want to say he read Sid Field's book Screenplay. Okay. And it occurred to him that integrating science and art was possible, according to Wikipedia. I don't know if that's true. Uh-huh.

And so he, you know, he bought a camera. He took it apart to see how it worked. He started making little movies. Now, true or false, he did not buy a zoo, right? Didn't buy a zoo. Okay. I mean, he thought about it. Yeah, right? Didn't buy a zoo. Okay. I mean, he thought about it. Yeah.

I'll try not to hold that against him. And then he started doing kind of PA work, second AD work, you know, worked at Roger Corman Studios, started working on B movies, making special effects, like a lot of these guys who came up in the 70s and 80s applied his trade sort of at the bottom of the Hollywood You do the nuts and bolts work. Learn how to make things fast, make things

efficient, whatever. And then he gets tossed this job on Piranha 2 The Spawning, the film we're discussing today. Now you looked into the background of this film, but the first film was a Roger Corman movie. So, the first Piranha?

Yes. Which came out in, what year? 78, maybe? Yeah, 78. Okay. And was directed by Joe Dante. Joe Dante, written by John Sayles. Yeah, which is a killer team.

Yeah, and it was like a very straightforward parody of John. Right. Like, it's a silly spoof of the brief craze of underwater attack movies. But then you had like orca orca in the deep orca or you had orca and the deep and all these movies and they were sort of trying to deflate the balloon a little yeah yeah yeah and uh i've seen you apparently you've never seen piranha i've never and joe dante is one of my favorite very very funny movie it's sort of you know tongue-in-cheek gory you, mocking the kind of girls in bikinis

and all of the window dressing of these kinds of movies. The sort of cheap Hollywood side of stuff. Produced by Roger Corman. Right. The master of schlock. Yeah. And famous for giving a lot of filmmakers their start. Yes, very much.

From Coppola, Scorsese, Jonathan Demme, a lot of Ron Howard, a lot of these guys come out of the Corman School. And the thing he would always say is like, if you make a movie

good enough for me, you'll never have to make a movie for me ever again, you know? Yeah. It was sort of very low stakes and he got stuff made.

So he makes the first one. It was his attempt to capitalize on the Jaws craze. This film has no creative members in common with the first one. It was his attempt to capitalize on the Jaws craze. This film has no creative members in common with the first one. So just Roger Corman was surprised by Piranha doing well. Piranha did really well. Uh-huh.

And I think that's sort of the problem with Roger Corman is he was just making these. He didn't have a major sense of what was actually going to do well or be good. Well, he's also like quantity over quality. He's churning them out. That's the idea. It's a factor. So what was actually going to do well or be good. Well, he's also like quantity over quality. That's the idea. It's a factor. So Piranha actually did well, but in his contract, he didn't retain the rights. The rights went to the executive producers.

Including this Italian guy? Was he one of the producers? No, no. They took it to the Italian guy. Interesting. So the last people who had any creative involvement sold it off to other people. This one's an entirely new team. Which is kind of like Zombie 2, which is like

the Italian sequel to Dawn of the Dead. Right, yeah. Jeff Shetteman, who is one of these guys, took it to Ovido Asinitis Uh-huh. Asinitis. Uh-huh. Who said he would put up the money

and the one thing he wanted was that the fish could fly. Piranha one, fish are in the ocean. Piranha two, the fish have wings. Spoiler, he got his wish. I mean, yeah, kind of. He wished for a flying fish, and he got it. The fish have wings in this movie. So first they hired a guy called Miller Drake,

who is another Corman guy. Apparently the director came up to him and said, want to direct the movie? And he said, sure. I'm free next Tuesday. Why not? They took him to the producer and the producer said, fine. I'm getting this from a very good Entertainment Weekly piece from 2010 that was like an oral history of all the Piranha movies. Okay.

Including the remake that they later made. Yes. This was for the release of Piranha 3D. Now he wanted to bring back some of the cast from Piranha 1. He wanted to bring back the lead scientist guy who gets eaten up. He wanted to have him like be all like scarred and like have holes in his

face or something. To which I say cool. Yeah that sounds good. Sounds real cool. And like he got makeup guys working on this and it seems like Asinitis, the Italian producer, was just like, eh, forget it, and fired him.

So then they call up James Cameron who's like another guy. He'd worked on a second AD on like some Corman thing. And there was this story about him. And I like this story. And this is the first seed we have of James Cameron. Some people say it's apocryphal, but they say it's true in this.

Okay. That he was working on some Corman, yeah, as a second AD on a movie called Galaxy of Terror. And he had to direct some worms like writhing around on the ground. And they, like, roll, and the worms aren't moving. Like, you know, they have these worms, and they're not moving. And so he, like, rigs up, like, an electrical cord into the dirt. Yeah.

And he's like, when I say action, turn it on. And, like, they turn it on, like, shock the worms, and the worms start writhing around. And this was, like, what convinced them, hey, this guy, like shock the worms and the worms start writhing around. And this was like what convinced them, Hey, this guy, James Cameron, he's got a future in the movies.

He's a problem solver. He could make worms move around. And he is also, I mean, you know, the, the legacy of James Cameron is this is one of the most confident men in history.

Yeah. He knows what he wants and he gets it done. Uh, I just, I'm on the IMDb trivia page for Piranha 2, the spawning. And there's a really interesting trivia fact here.

The piranhas in this sequel developed an additional skill which they did not have in Piranha 1978. Period. They could fly. Period. That's a trivia fact for this movie. So you know I think in last week's Under Siege episode we briefly talked about

Star Trek Beyond. Yes. And how when they hit pre-production, you know, like the one thing Justin Lin was like sure about was like, I really want the Enterprise to crash in this movie. That has to be- I want them to tear it apart. Yeah. That has to be a big set piece. Yeah.

And it really does seem like the Italian, this Italian guy, and this was not uncommon in the, especially in the 70s, these sort of like exploitation movies made, funded by Italian studios. Yeah. The Italian guy's like, look, look, I got the money for you. I mean, it probably cost like a million bucks to make this movie, something like that. But listen, listen, listen. They've got to fly.

They better fly. Those piranha better fly. What's like the famous John Peters story about the giant spider? Yeah, John Peters and his giant spider, which he eventually worked into Wild Wild West. But he wanted it in Superman. Superman, right. He wanted to get a giant spider in a movie. He became obsessed with this idea of there being a giant spider, which he eventually worked into Wild Wild West. But he wanted it in Superman. He wanted to get a giant spider in a movie. He became obsessed with this idea of there being a giant spider. A giant metal spider.

Yes. I'm all for it. Well, sure. Yes, of course. You like things big. Yeah, you and John Peters, if that had ever happened, you two would just have united somehow. You would have been holy terrorists. Could you imagine John Peters and Ben running a studio together? Could you imagine just Ben running a studio? That'd be great.

We need to start a studio. Just imagine him sitting in a chair and he's like, I like it, but bigger. Have you thought about this? Bigger. Wet. Make him wet. Not wet enough. I'm soaked, baby.

These are callbacks to our old episodes. So guys, if you're jumping on with James Cameron, listen back. We've got so many great episodes. God, and what a good entry point this is gonna be for new listeners piranha 2 the spawning so james cameron disappointed by the lack of todd mcfarland spawn in this movie i thought there was gonna be more of him what there's no spawning in this movie i mean there is we're told that they have spawned i guess but they are already there once the movie begins. Yeah, I mean, that's like if you called, like, you know, an Indiana Jones movie, like, the birth of Indiana Jones. And it's like, well, because, you know, at some point he was born.

Right, right, right. It doesn't happen within this movie. He was alive, so he definitely was born. He was alive, so he was born at some point. At some point, these piranhas must have spawned. But by the time this film starts, they're already, like, at full force. So, apparently, Cameron, obviously, he's a nobody in second AD. He's very excited to get this opportunity. And we'll talk about the movie now, but the thing about the production was

it was very underfinanced, and James Cameron was really trying to make it pop. The sequences he worked on it seems like going a little over budget to actually make the movies seem good. Yeah. And so after a while, he was kind of fired. Yeah. And the Italian producer guy, Acevedo,

directed a lot of it himself. He cut the movie himself. So that's what I read. Cameron reportedly broke into the editing studio, cut his own version, but that was not accepted. What I read. Cameron reportedly broke into the editing studio, cut his own version, but that was not accepted. What I read is that they, the Acevedo guy started sort of being really heavy on his shoulder, right? Demanding rewrites and stuff like that.

And then also, but Cameron remained the guy shooting the film on a day-to-day basis, but they were telling him what to do. He was around, but yeah. He wasn't able to look at the dailies, and they were editing it together. So he never left the movie. But he doesn't really consider this his debut. But I think- Cameron says, right, his debut is Terminator, pretty much.

He doesn't deny this movie exists, but he's like, that wasn't fully my movie. He makes fun of it. He's called on 60 Minutes, he called it asinitis. Asinitis is the name. Yeah. Called him sort of a sleazy guy who wanted to throw a bunch of penthouse models into scenes.

Stuff like that. And you feel that. There are certain scenes in this, specifically the TNA scenes that play a lot broader. We were like, that doesn't feel like Cameron. I mean, who knows? Maybe Cameron was like, hey, I get it. It's a B movie. I get what you want out of me.

But there are certain scenes in this movie that feel very Cameron-y. I mean, it's interesting to look at early films of directors like this oh it is it is definitely well we'll get to that i just have one more thing to tell you about i'm just giving you guys oh yeah yeah yes so according to carol davis who i think is an actress in the movie uh there was a big scene where asthenitis was doing a shot of the spawning i guess it's when they're coming out of the water at that party. And he, according to her, she says,

Alright, everybody, we're all gonna say we wanted a fish, we wanted a fish. That's what she said happened. There you go. That's in that article. No one understood what he was saying. If you look at the end credits of the film, the entire crew is Italian. And apparently most of them didn't speak English and Cameron had a very hard time communicating with them.

And I think it was shot in Jamaica. Yes. It sounds like. Shot in like the Cayman Islands in Jamaica and Italy. It was shot in all three with an all Italian crew, American actors, and a Canadian director. It sounds like a tough, a tough early process. You know, like we talked about Shyamalan's first real film, Wide Awake. Right.

Where he's kind of meddled with, right? Yeah. Like by Miramax and by Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. And they take the cut away from him and they don't release it.

You know. Yeah. He learns an early like valuable lesson. Right. Like, the Wachowskis, they have them,

Bounce so good. Bounce is perfect. But I mean, it can happen with some of these guys. Which is incredible because it was Dino De Laurentiis. Like that seems like a situation where they would be meddled with

but somehow that movie was. they really tried to avoid being meddled with Iiis. That seems like a situation where they would be meddled with, but somehow that movie was... They really tried to avoid being meddled with, I guess. They did a good job of it. But anyway, it just feels like that same story where Cameron is just learning what can go wrong, the value of having total creative control, and of writing something

yourself. I mean, he is an uncredited writer on this. I don't know how much work he did on this script. Yeah. I do think that's the biggest um takeaway from this movie is this movie makes is more interesting to watch as an origin story of how cameron became the director he became rather than like these are the seeds of what he was good at that hadn't blossomed because he little bits of it but it like doesn't feel it doesn't have the same sort of overarching Cameron feel that every other movie does. But I think, I remember reading this interview with Wes Anderson where he talked about

working on Bottle Rocket, and he felt like there were arguments he lost or things where he was just too tired and they didn't get things done, right? Wes Anderson, obviously a director who's known for being in complete control of his craft and micromanaging every detail from the set to the lines to the performances and camera movements and everything.

And he felt like that was a movie where he settled sometimes. Sure. And he's proud of the movie, but he watches it and he sees the points where he settled. Sounds like Wes Anderson. Well, I mean, directors tend to be in control. Yes, and Wes Anderson certainly. Top of the line. If you were going to armchair diagnose him, he's the first guy you would throw that on to.

But he said that he decided from that point on starting with rush more that he was like i don't care if i lose sleep i don't care what i have to do like i'm gonna make everything exactly the way i want to make it and this kind of feels to me like an even greater example of that where like here's a movie where they literally were wrestling control away from him on a day-to-day basis and he was like i'm never gonna lose an argument we're talking about a director who's quite famous for being a control freak. Right, exactly. But that's where this one comes into play.

I get what you're saying. Because this movie is all over the map. Right, yeah. But that's what I find interesting about watching this. This is clearly such a compromised movie with some interesting glimpses of stuff and then from here on out he never makes a movie that isn't exactly what he wants to make. Absolutely. And he goes to being the first guy to make a $100, like, the first guy to make a $100 million movie, the first guy

to make a $200 million movie, and then we still don't know exactly how much Avatar costs because I don't think anyone ever wants to disclose that information. Yeah. And the combined cost of the next four Avatar movies is going to be astronomical. Right. But the idea is, like, not only is he not going to, like, lose a battle with, like, the studio, with his crew, like, he's famously kind of argumentative with crews or actors who try to oppose him and this and that. But also like if you say this can't be done, he's going to get people to give him amounts of money that have never been given to a movie before.

And he's done it multiple times. No one no one will ever make a hundred million dollar movie. And he's like, oh, yeah. Then how do you expect me to make a metal man? Right. Right. And they're like, fine, here's a hundred million dollars like he just wins the dude just fucking wins he's a winner but piranha 2 the spawning is a bit of a loss it's the it's his big l yeah the big l on his everyone has one and this is his and last time to be trivia fact uh as of 2015 this is the only

film james cameron has directed that does not have a title starting with the letter T or A. Okay. Terminator, Aliens, Avatar, True Lies, I get it. I get it. Abyss. Kind of interesting. The Abyss is both kind of. T-A. Terminator is T-T, the first one. Terminator 2.

I get it. There it is. We should respond to that. So Podinator Judgment Cast, you might go, hey, where's the 2? Where's the 2 in that title? Where's the 2? We want people to listen to the show. We don't want people to think that there's a first Podinator that they need to listen to in order to follow.

So we're going Podinator colon Judgment Cast. I know it's not correct, and we're usually such sticklers for accuracy, but please, please forgive us. I'm sorry, guys, but yeah, I mean, or else we would have been called Poppywood. It doesn't matter. Right, okay. Forget the title. You know what?

Forget the title. Podnator 2. That's what we're called. Podnator Judgment Cast. Yeah. Okay, so let's talk about Piranha 2, The Spawning. Piranha 2, The Spawning. Piranha 2, The Spawning.

A little setup. In Piranha 1, thereawning. Piranha 2 The Spawning. Piranha 2 The Spawning. A little setup. In Piranha 1, there was a bunch of piranhas. Okay. I guess they were created in a secret lab. Yeah. Then they escaped the lab. They ate a bunch of people. Okay, so that is a thing in Piranha 1 that they're sort of militarized.

Yes. That they were a project on her eye. That's right. I believe that usually North American beach towns don't have piranhas. They are rainforest creatures, I think. Yep. And I think, I mean, look, I haven't seen it. You have.

But Dante and Sales are smart guys. They know what they're doing. They were playing into the absurdity of the inherent concept and just trying to like the joke of like. Well, because, right, how small can the fish be while it's still scary? It's a funny idea. It becomes comical and this and that. This movie plays it pretty fucking straight. Yeah.

This movie is not a comedy at all. This movie feels like a bad remake of Jaws. Yes. Whereas the original movie is trying to make fun of that idea. Yeah.

This movie begins with two people scuba diving into like an abandoned wreck. Yeah. To have sex in it? Yeah. Under water?

Here's the thing. I don't know if I can Ben's doing hand gestures again. Ben's doing more hand a thing i don't know if i can ben's doing hand gestures again uh i i don't know if i can give the movie credit for this like sometimes the things that are kind of cool about movies especially if you're watching movies like this that is not very good and you're looking for little aspects that jump out to you are accidental right and it might be like look just the limitations of film stock at the time the limitations of the budget where they weren't able to light properly.

I'm also watching like fucking, you know, an SD like streaming copy on my Amazon Fire tablet. Good job, buddy. So it might just be like, you know, whatever. But one thing I like about this movie, whether it's intentional or not, is this movie gets really dark. Like the night scenes in this movie are like pitch black and you can barely see anything. Yeah. There's not a shot in this movie that's good. Maybe there's a few. There's a few

shots in this movie that are good. Yeah. I don't think it's intentional. I think they wanted more things to be visible but accidentally I think it's kind of interesting because it's one movie where like when night hits the movie it's just like well it's night you can't see anything. It's tough to see it's night. And there's I movie probably the movie's biggest set piece is at night correct the big beach party sequence yes yeah yeah the underwater stuff looks pretty good which is i

mean these are the seeds so this is the thing so yeah you know i queue up this movie and i'm like this is gonna be a chore like what yeah what are we really gonna get out of james cameron from this and then like the first five minutes of the movie are underwater, which is his number one obsession. He loves the ocean. I mean, it's like, right? He's obsessed, yes. And it is funny to see.

Oh, yeah, right. Right there from the start. There he is doing some decent underwater photography of a naked chick and a naked dude trying to bone underwater and getting eaten by a piranha. But kind of tellingly, he seems far more interested in what's going on underwater, like, around them than the sex. Yes, absolutely. And the movie can't have been expensive.

No. But, I don't know, he does a good job doing a lot of set pieces underwater. It must have been hard. I think it's the loving gaze. Do you know what I'm saying? Absolutely. Like the ocean, you mean? Yes.

Oh, yeah. I mean, his male gaze is just towards aquatic life. Indeed. You know?'m saying? Like the ocean you mean? Oh yeah. His male gaze is just towards aquatic life. You know like not towards the fucking that's happening. But I think that's like you can tell when things are lovingly photographed. Like even if you don't have the technical abilities you know the time and the resources

to make a beautiful painterly shot. It's like if someone really loves their subject it kind of shows. Which is where the male gaze comes in this question of like oh and directors are ogling the actresses you know from behind the camera and this is just like this dude fucking wants to jerk off in the ocean yeah I mean so this is a movie with a lot of TNA

as they used to say which he seems pretty indifferent to I was gonna say I mean it's not trying very hard to seem at all like sexy or titillating like there are women in it and sometimes they're naked, and oftentimes they're in loose-fitting dresses or bikinis. There's a lot of jiggling.

There's also a lot of no-bra loose shirt in this movie. What there isn't a lot of is lingering or very obvious softcore kind of stuff. I don't think that's even like because james cameron is some radical feminist although certainly he later makes movies with like interesting enough well and i think actually the lead female character in this movie is kind of interesting and she's definitely she's a proto a proto exactly proto cameron heroine yes um i think it's disinterest i don't think it's like it's just kind of like i don't think it's that he's that

woke i think that's not what he wants to fucking make you know you don't want to give him like a trophy for like avoiding the cliches because it's still in there but i think he's just like that's not why he's making a fucking movie you know um and there is like you know there there is gratuitous nudity in this movie but there are actually a lot of moments where it feels like there should be nudity and he's not doing it there's nudity I was going to say. There's nudity in the first 20 minutes. There's like a good, and then it kind of stops because, I don't know. I mean, I don't know. But it does almost feel like they're like, what?

I already did that. Like, you know, you got it, right? Right. But it feels like he's checking that off the list. Like that was a contractual obligation. Piranhas? Yeah. Should I?

Right. They have wings. It feels like one of the conditions was, okay, condition one, the piranhas have to have wings. Check. Condition two, at least eight total tits in the movie. Yeah, right, right. And he was like, I'll get out of the way in the first 15 minutes. I'll get it done. I'll get the, I'll get, it's like you know, he's trying to load up his college course load

so he can get through all the requirements and like. Exactly. Because there's also, here's another thing there's not a lot of in this movie. Piranhas. No. There's not a ton of piranha scenes in this movie. I can't also, here's another thing there's not a lot of in this movie, piranhas. No. There's not a ton of piranha scenes in this movie. I can't tell if it's because the special effects budget was maybe a little spare. Right.

And they had this piranha with wings thing that they wanted to do, and maybe there was only so much they could do. I don't know. I mean, according to this EW article, it was on a stick. Yeah, it looks like it. And they would kind of attach it to you and wiggle it around. And then you'd have a little prosthetic, you know, blood coming out of your neck or whatever. Yeah.

That was the extent of it. Like, if you pitched me piranhas with wings, I'm imagining swarms of piranhas in the air. Right. You know, like a cloud of piranhas descending on me and skeletonizing me. Skeletonizing is a good word. Here's what I find interesting, okay? Yeah. Of course this movie had budgetary limitations.

They can't get a full swarm going. You assume that they were sort of handcuffed and how much piranha stuff they could shoot. The first one cost a million bucks. I'm guessing this one cost less. I'm guessing half a million. Yeah, because the first one looks better than this one. Yeah. By a weight.

I mean, Joe Dante's a good director, but James Cameron's a good director. And Corman kind of gives a shit. Like, as much as we were saying it's quantity over quality, he does want to make movies that people like. Whereas these guys, I think, were a little more craven. What's interesting to me is, like, you look at Jaws, where famously the shark didn't work and it was too expensive. Absolutely. Um, what's interesting to me is like you look at Jaws where famously the shark didn't work and it was too expensive and like he had to rewrite on the fly and make the shark more of a looming threat than something you saw or it was glimpses and this and that. This movie, it feels like at a lot of points, like they're sort of talking about the piranhas

in like a way where they're trying to crack the conspiracy, but there's not constantly this looming threat of like the piranhas could attack at any moment. Do you know what I'm saying? I do. Like Jaws from the moment the shark hits, you're like the piranhas could attack at any moment. Do you know what I'm saying? I do. Like Jaws from the moment the shark hits, you're like the shark could come up at any fucking time. Like there's an uneasiness of the whole movie. And a lot of those lesser Jaws ripoffs have that. Right.

And this it feels like once every 15 minutes you're like, oh, right, piranhas. This is a. So I was. All right. Because there's not necessarily less piranha footage in this than Jaws. It just feels like the piranha stuff is less of a focus than the shark is in Jaws. I mean, maybe he just started, and again, the first movie's a joke. This one's not.

Right. They're not letting him. Oh, fuck. How scary is a piranha going to be? Piranhas aren't that scary. And James Cameron's famously kind of a literal person and doesn't have much of a sense of humor. Sure. His comedy is often the most derided element of his films.

This movie lacks a sense of humor. Right, but he's not a guy most derided element of his films. This movie lacks our sense of humor. Right, but he's not a guy who knows how to do tongue-in-cheek. He's very earnest, you know? Yep. He's very self-serious in his concepts, regardless of how ridiculous they are. And so you could see that, like, I don't think he even had the ability to make this a parody on the level of Dante's Piranha. Would that be what the producers wanted him to do?

Dante's Piranha was the sequel to Dante's Peak, right? Yes, exactly. But yeah, the Piranha stuff feels indifferent. I mean, let's think of what are some Piranha things that happen? There's the couple who have sex, and then I guess a Piranha eats them. I guess. I mean, and then

you find the corpse. They find the corpse. Which is like 40 minutes later. Yeah. What happens in this movie? How did it pad to an hour and a half? It's very bizarre. It's like 40 minutes later. Okay, so let's go through the plot of this movie. Okay. You want to try? Sure. So, like I

said, there were some piranhas last time. Okay. You got that? Some people try to have sex in the sea. I don't mean on the surface of the water. Nope. I don't mean on the surface of the water. Nope. I don't mean in like a boat or on a dinghy. Like they want to go underwater and have sex down in the water.

They're doing like Cameron Deep Dive fucking. And they're also taking off their oxygen source. Yeah. To make out and flow. What's their plan? I don't know. It's weird. And they're in like a wreck.

Like a rusty shipwreck. Which is like, talk about fucking like blood-borne diseases. You know what I'm saying? What, do you want to get tetanus doing this? Come on. Yeah, you're naked next to some rusty scrap metal. Boy, oh boy. So, they get eaten by a piranha.

They do indeed. Cut to a bunch of tourists are taking diving courses in a hotel. Yeah. Do we know where this is? Like the Cayman Islands? It's a Caribbean island. Okay, yeah. And on one of their dives, the student gets chomped up.

Yeah. And then the lead lady, who is a diving instructor, who's played by Trisha O'Neill. What I think is a pretty solid performance. She's pretty good. Ann Kimbra is her name. She's Ann. I do love in the credits when the credits roll, and it's like, you know,

Ann, Jack, Jim. The names are like, it's the most bland names they could think of. Which is incredible because Lance Henriksen's character is almost exclusively referred to as Kimbra throughout the entire movie. They all call him by his last name, and in the end credits it goes, Lance Henriksen's character is almost exclusively referred to as Kimbra throughout the entire movie. They all call him by his last name. And in the end credits it goes, Lance Henriksen, Dave.

You know, Dave, friendly Dave. I don't think anyone ever called him Dave the whole movie. We'll get to him because he's obviously the star of the movie. He's the guy who pops. Yeah, he pops like a motherfucker. So Trisha O'Neil, the only thing I know her from is she played the captain of the Enterprise C in one episode of Star Trek The Next Generation. Interesting. A very good episode called Yesterday's Enterprise.

Okay. And so I guess that's a bit of pop culture marginalia, but it's literally a one episode appearance. Yeah, and she hasn't done that much. Apparently she's in Titanic. Okay. I would assume in a very small role. That's nice. Yeah, I think he's pretty good about that.

Yeah. He remembers you. Well, Lance obviously. You know, she he's pretty good about that. Yeah. He remembers you. Well, Lance, obviously. You know, she was in the A-Team. She was in Airwolf. She was in old Remington Steel. She was a working actress in the 80s. Anyway, so she's a diving instructor.

Yeah. But, you know, she thinks something's up because one of her students got torn into a million pieces by something and has holes all over his body. Interesting theory. Something's going on. And I guess she's like wanted, at one point she's like considered under suspicion for murder? Yeah, we'll get to that.

So she, we see her, we very early on see her with her son in their hotel room. Yeah, so Ben was talking about this and I agree with him. Yeah. Creepy. This scene's creepy. Not the only one. Their relationship. You're like, are these two fucking? Are they fucking? It feels like it. I realized I didn't

know any of the background of this being Italians involved, and now it makes perfect sense. They're physical people. Come on. You love your mother. They're very, hey, come on. You love your mother. I mean, you- Hey, come on now. I love my mother.

Was that right? Wow, we're really pissing off the Italians. No, but it is that Italian culture where y'all know the final boss level of Super Mario Brothers is the Mario Brothers tag teaming their mom. Oh, dear. That's the final boss?

Most people don't get to that level. Bowser's not actually... He's there. He's just watching. He's just watching. He's peeping. I'm sorry. He's peeping.

I'm reading the Wikipedia entry for this for the first time. The Wikipedia entry for Piranha 2. This is outsider art, whoever wrote the plot description. Okay, please. For example... Let's go off of this. Let's run through the plot off of their description. It's long.

I'm not going to read it all, but I'll read you some sentences. Steve, a police officer, refuses to listen to Anne about her wanting to have a look at the body because she needs to know what's happened, period. The death does not seem to match the attack pattern of any marine life in this area, which she knows better than anyone, period. For her to not know what killed a diver is a dangerous sign, period. This is the Wikipedia. A lot of very inferences being made here. Okay, so this is what I like this movie does, right? Steve intercepts Gabby, a dynamic fisherman.

Oh, a dynamite fisherman. Right, he fishes with dynamite. That's right. There's a character who fishes with dynamite. He's a dynamic dynamite fisherman. And threatens to confiscate their boat, but as Gabby explains, comma, Steve, Anne, and he, are old friends.

Yeah. This is all happening. Here's what I like about this movie. He's building out an ensemble. Yeah. They introduce Anne early on, right? She's creepy with her son. Creepy with her son, diving instructor, you know, the usual.

Okay, no man in the picture, right? No man. Then we're introduced to Kimbra, and he's dealing with Gabby, this sort of scene you're talking about. That's the first time I think we see him. Yeah. And we get a sense of him. Played by Lance Henriksen. Yes, who's just so fucking good.

Lance Henriksen's the best. Yeah, he rules. He's in three Cameron movies, and it's sad that he's not in more. Yeah, actually. He's just a genre legend, right? Yeah. My roommate mentioned that he has been killed by an alien, a predator

and a Terminator. That's pretty fucking that's cool, man. He's quite an honor. The only person to be killed by an alien a predator and a Terminator. I think that's right. Yeah, because I think well, Paxton has He's not in a predator, is he? He's in Predator 2. Oh, I haven't seen Predator and a Terminator. Yeah. I think that's right. Yeah, because I think, well, Paxton has... He's not in a Predator, is he?

He's in Predator 2. Oh, I haven't seen Predator 2. I've never been able to watch Predator 2 all the way through. I own it on VHS and every time I try to put it on, I fall asleep. Yeah.

I've never... Every time I've tried to put it on, I fall... I've only ever made it 20 minutes in, but Paxton's definitely in it. Yeah. He gets killed by an alien. Spoiler, we'll get to that in a future episode.

And by a Terminator in Terminator. Right, right. But, well, I don't know. Anyway, he's up there. Interesting. And Lance Henriksen, great actor. Yeah. Just kind of steely, slightly demented.

Yeah. I don't know. There's something so special. He was on that TV show Millennium for a few years that is one of the weirdest shows that ever aired on broadcast TV. Uh-huh. That was an X-Files spinoff? It was by the creator of the weirdest shows that ever aired on broadcast TV. Uh-huh. That was an X-Files spinoff? It was an X.

It was by the creator of the X-Files. It wasn't really a spinoff. Did they sort of backdoor pilot it? They introduced him. Or they overlapped it. They overlapped later. Like Millennium got canceled and then they just had a real Millennium finale happen in the X-Files.

That's fascinating. Chris Carter is, who has created both shows, he's a weird dude. Yeah. Anyway, so, but love lance hendrickson and i think they just met on this movie there's a story about his his costume costs uh like no money it was like he hated it yeah it was basically like a store cop costume yeah and he was sitting at lunch with cameron and complaining about it like this is the worst costume I've ever worn in my life. And a waiter walked by and he had like epaulettes. He had like a little bit.

And he was like, let me buy that off you for $75. And like just to put a little dressing on this costume. So there you go. That's a Lance Henriksen story. But he's in Terminator. Yeah. He's an alien. He's Cameron's first choice for playing the Terminator.

Really? Yes. Yes. That's fascinating. But, you know, he is in it, and then he's in Aliens. He was an early Cameron guy. God, he's beautiful in Aliens. That's such a good performance.

It's incredible. We'll shower him with love. Yeah. I think he's wonderful in the Terminator, too. Yeah. So here's an embarrassing confession. He's a good guy to... What? I have only seen the original Terminator once, and it was like... Many it was like 15, 16 years ago. Why haven't you seen it a bunch of times?

I don't know, because I rewatch Terminator 2 all the time. Sure. Well, Terminator 2 is very rewatchable, whereas Terminator 1 is kind of scary and dark and moody and weird. That's the thing. I think I saw both of them when I was like 11 or 12, and Terminator 2 was much more my wavelength than Terminator 1. So I kept on going like, oh, I like the the Terminator but I'm just never going to rewatch it. I've rewatched certain scenes. I own it. I just like have not rewatched it

since then. I had the same experience with Alien where I remember as a kid the sequels were more my speed because they were just more accessible but like having rewatched it like very recently I'm like holy fuck this movie is amazing. Yeah yeah. I'm really excited

to rewatch The Terminator but as a 12 year old like it was fucking Terminator 2 is what I wanted to see because of John Connor when you're 12 yeah it has John Connor

and the T-1000 fucking rules it does rule so they introduce Kimbra and Anne separately right I can't tell if I just wasn't paying attention, if it was hard to follow because the film is a little sloppy.

Yeah, a little sloppily edited. Right, or if this is actually sort of what's going on. But, like, we get Anne and Kimbra separately before it's revealed that Kimbra's her husband, right? True. But they're separated. It's a very weird relationship, but I actually kind of like that they don't ever totally define it.

Yeah. Don't we see, doesn't he see her in bed with a man and get really pissed off? Yes, that's later in the film. That's like, and we're still like, wait, why is he so mad? Like, it takes a while for us, it took a while for me to piece it together. At that point, it's been set up.

No, because when they wake her up, he goes like, oh no, it's your husband. You know? Right. They always talk about him as husband in the present tense. You get the sense. Obviously, the relationship is fractured, but I don't know if they're actually separated. They're certainly not divorced.

He's not an ex. And the way I think we figure out that he's married to her. Well, first, I think you see her with the son. You see Kimbra with, what's his name? Dinoite Fisherman. I think his name is Gabby. Gabby, yes. And then you see Kimbra coming across his son, and you go, oh, this is his dad?

He calls him dad. Right. So it's like, are they estranged? And then later when they end up in a scene together, there's not a lot of warmth, but they talk about being married. Right. And it feels like they're kind of married

name only now. They've really grown apart. Something happened. And he's... She's a cop. She's a diving instructor. And he's married to his work. I mean, that's the Henriksen thing. First of all, he's not just a cop. He's a boat cop. He's a boat cop. Boat cop. He's a boat cop. Henriksen, you know, as you said, he's good at

the steely sort of focus. This sort of very calm, almost unnerving intensity, you know? He's got this. He's a laser beam. Yeah, it's his eyes. It's something about the way he looks at the camera or people. It's weird. But there's something kind of broken about him.

Right. Which is the added element that makes him compelling. Why I think he kind of wouldn't be good as the Terminator, actually. Yeah, well, I think that's what Cameron saw in him as the Terminator, is that weird sort of robotic look he has. But I think you're right. I mean, it's just impossible. He's got a little too much heart.

Yeah, I agree with you. That's the thing. And that's what makes Bishop so perfect is that it's like, you know. I mean, Bishop, the character, is supposed to have heart, of course. That's what I'm saying. But Bishop is like tailor-made for everything that's interesting about Lance Henriksen. Right. This character is so boilerplate, but he adds all these weird levels onto it just because he's such a compulsively watchable actor. And he holds so much back. Sure. Like he's one of those actors where you can tell that he's doing a lot less than he could and not in a lazy way.

But he like doesn't care about having to telegraph anything to you. way but he like doesn't care about having to telegraph anything to you he sort of just trusts himself and it makes you lean forward because you're like this guy this guy like he's holding shit back from us like that's a power move to be like i don't have to play all my cards i got this you know i'm only gonna play them if i need them um but yeah we were interested the two of them separately and then it's like they're together but they certainly aren't spending a lot of time together. He certainly seems like a workaholic. She you know

has a job but is much more focused on like quality of life and there's this guy coming around who's definitely like flirting with her. And his name is

Tyler Sherman. And Kimbrough's like eyeballing him. Yeah he's got his eyes on him. He's like what the fuck is your intention here? Yeah. He is played by

Steve Marachuk. Yeah. Now what did Henri Steve Marachuk. Yeah. Now, what had Henriksen done before this? Because in the credits, I think he's third build, but he's got a box around his name. And was it just like they knew, like, oh, he's the guy? Because they put a rectangle around him, which was sometimes a contractual obligation. If you weren't first build, but they want you to know that this guy's important. He was in Dog Day Afternoon.

Oh, right. He was in Network. He's in Network. He's in Network. He's in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. Right. And he always cops. He's in Omen 2. Yeah.

He's in The Visitor. Always playing cops. So he's in some huge movies playing very small roles. Small roles. But, you know, he's building up, you know, and then he's good. In Network, he's great. In Network, he's the executive who's trying to negotiate the deal with the Black Panther type group.

Yeah. I love him. He's so good. He's in Prince who's trying to negotiate the deal with the Black Panther type group. I love him. He's so good. He's in Prince of the City. He's in Jagged Edge. He did the three Lumet movies. Yeah. He's in Undangerous Ground. He's so good in Aliens, obviously.

What am I thinking of that he's so good in? Hard Target, the John Woo movie. Oh, I've never seen that. Yeah, he's great in that. Love him. Okay, but there is this interesting thing where it's like, A, Anne is not sexualized at all. The film is about her having an affair.

Yeah, I mean, we certainly, I mean, there's plenty of people, like there are these two basically bikini models who we cut to a few times. Their job is to wear swimsuits and be on a boat and jump around. They're jiggling a lot and then they get into this

fucking subplot where they go into the kitchen, try to steal food and there's like a stuttering idiot there. They flirt with a stuttering chef. And they're like, you ever slept with two girls at once? He's like, no. And then they have him bring the food over and then they tell him to go fuck off, and he jumps in the water to try to get after them.

As Wikipedia puts it, Jai and Loretta, comma, a pair of women, comma, Oh, interesting. arrive on a large boat. Yeah. Full stop. By their own admission, comma, they are sea bandits. Yeah.

Full stop. Yeah, anyway. They don't really amount to anything, and that feels like an Italian interference. Yeah, yeah. And they get eaten by flying piranhas. Right, and even just the chef character is so much broader than everything else he's doing. That's true, yes.

There's also that old woman who's really horny, who appears in the beginning and the end, and nowhere in the middle. What is with her? I don't know. She's really weird. Yeah. That's weird, that part. Really weird.

Because you're like, is this supposed to be funny? Why are you including this? Like, it's not, obviously it's not like exploitative, like TNA stuff. So that feels like Italian Interference were like 80% of the way into production. They were like, oh, this movie has no jokes. This guy is very serious. I mean, it's not, it has no joke. Right.

We got to include like some wacky characters. Like stuttering chef. Stuttering chef. horny old lady you know it's like all these like big broad characters that like don't really pay off to anything don't really amount to anything i mean the horny old lady certainly does nothing in the fucking way they set up at the beginning where she's dtf and then later in the film she knocks on a door with a bottle of champagne and a plate of oysters and it's like you know they're an aphrodisiac and then the door opens further and there's a naked woman behind him. Which this is another interesting Cameron touch.

Talking about like how disinterested he seems in the cheesecake aspects of the movie. Yeah. The woman's naked and he frames her only from like the collarbone up. Yeah. And even the dancing, the crazy sea pirate food stealers, whatever they fucking call them. The two young girls who are topless throughout a lot of the movie, he will cut to close-ups where their breasts are out of frame. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

No, he's not- And that's against the school of what you're supposed to do in this type of movie. What we were saying over and over is it doesn't feel like he's doing it right. It feels like he's doing it wrong because he just doesn't care. And what he wants to get right are the the underwater scenes yes and the attacks like the piranha attack scenes he's trying as best he can is to like invest them with a little tension make the action make it like some sort of a some sort of sense yeah like and like have the piranhas look as realistic as possible which basically involves us not seeing them except when they're like wriggling around like yeah really fast but i

also think i mean you talk about like, how does this movie pad out an hour and 40 minutes? The main thing I think he seems invested in just as sort of maybe like an experiment, like a Petri dish for what he was going to do later on. You know, I actually, I'm having a thought. I want to, I got a gripe. Ben's having a thought. Oh my God, Ben's got a gripe.

Like, all right, so they're mutant piranhas, correct? Military bred or something. Flying piranhas. Why do they have to be the same size as a normal piranha? Oh. Great question. Classic Ben Greif. Because it's like they're trying to scare us with this idea of like tiny little piranhas

are going to rip me apart. So make them just like three or four times bigger. Oh, wow. I didn't think you were going to go in that direction. I thought you were going to argue for them to be small. Ooh, actually, I like that. My tiny piranhas. Ooh, they go inside of your bloodstream and they eat you from the inside out.

I've literally never seen Ben this excited before. That's great. That's so good. Have you ever seen that movie, Inner Space, or Fantastic Voyage, where you shrink down and go inside the bloodstream? They go inside the human body. Oh, yeah. What if you fought the piranhas inside blood vessels?

I agree. Great point, Ben. You if you fought the piranhas inside blood vessels? I agree. Great point, Ben. You are our finest film critic. Of course. The thing I was going to say, the movie seems weirdly like Ben's laughing hysterically. Ben's in a real- Ben's real amped. He's punchy today.

He had some iced coffee, and I think maybe it jazzed him up a little. He's jazzed up. He won't stop moving. He's laughing a lot. Away from the mic. We're getting a real show here from ben today he's getting some crazy like jiminy glick on the chair poses he really is um the thing this movie feels weirdly concerned with which is like going against the rules of

what you're supposed to do in these movies yes is he uh tries to give ann and kimbra so much integrity as characters. He does. He tries to invest it with a real arc. It's like they won't believe her. Right. Like she's uncovering the piranha scandal. And they're played like very straight. And even just the way that like. And like they just

think she's a lady who you know doesn't know it. She's a pair of tits and like no one pays attention. But the movie. Nothing around the movie actually backs this up. No, and they don't have good character arcs. Like that's the thing. But he seems really interested in trying to make them solid as characters, you know, with what he has. Not just make them like sort of clothes horses.

Yeah, clothes horses. But it's a cop. He's wearing the cop costume. That's all you need to know. I get it. The scene, so she starts having this sort of flirtation with this guy, right? Tyler Sherman. Yeah.

And they go to the morgue together on their first date. Right. To look at a hole-ridden corpse. Oh, because she tells, that's the first scene where we see her talk to Kimbra, right? Is when he's like, hey, you know, this and that, your student. Like, he's asking her about what happened. And she's like, I need to see the body, I think something weird happened. And he's like, I can't let you see the body. And she's like, I was the last person to be

with him, and he's like... Why can't she see the body? Because he's worried that she's a suspect at this point, that there was weird foul play. But that already tells you so much about their relationship because it's like... Wow. It's so, like, cold and dead. He's all business. Yeah. Wow. He's so, it's so like cold and dead. He's all business. Yeah.

Right. He's just talking to her in a business way. He even has that part where he's like, my wife has been near the two dead bodies of the three that have appeared or some line like that. He says that to her. Yeah. It's weird. That's what happens.

So then her and Tyler start like flirting. She's like, I just need some time alone. He's like, come on. He's being real pushy. And she's like, fine, you want to come with me? Fine.

Break into a morgue with me. They break into a morgue. Yeah. They see a whole ridden body with some of the legs that have been chomped off and stuff. Yes. Bones.

It's kind of cool. Right. Then a nurse arrives. Yeah. And chews them away. Get out of here. You have no respect for the dead. Yeah.

Then she's cleaning up. This is kind of a good scene. Yeah, and it's a good Cameron. There's a decent Cameron scare where she's underneath the table, and then the corpse's hand just sort of falls onto her. And prior to that. Not off the body, just sort of slips off the table, you know. Prior to that, the music's been playing.

The music's. They're piranha themed, so it's like the building kind of tension thing, and you're like, okay, piranha attack, piranha attack, you know. And then the arm slips down, and you're like, ooh. attack, piranha attack, you know and then the arm slips down and you're like ooh. She's like oh, oh, yeah, right. False jump scare. But no. When the piranha actually, this happens a lot. There's a piranha in the body. Yeah, she looks into the body

in the hole and then a little mouth comes out and she's like what? And the piranha jumps out and flies in her face and attacks her neck and everything. And then flies out a window. Right. Guys, that happened. This one's got flying piranhas. They fly. But here's the thing he does a couple times in this movie builds the tension you know something's gonna happen the music's playing they're near a body or they they're near the ocean or whatever it is

oop fake out jump scare here's an arm falling here's a this and then they go like whoo and then when the piranha actually jumps out and attacks, no music. Right. Which is kind of an interesting inversion. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't notice that. That's good. The attacks are like silent. Like you're just hearing their screams.

Ah! Yeah. And it makes them more chilling. Like less scary but more upsetting in a way that's interesting. Again, here's the thing. Yeah. The attacks are all

one piranha bites someone's neck. It's not, I mean, underwater the implication is. The attacks are all one piranha bites someone's neck. Yeah. It's not, I mean, underwater, the implication is that the attacks are more like a bunch of piranhas attack something. Yes. We don't really see that. They obviously don't have the budget for that. Right.

So it's pretty good, the scene where the nurse dies. Yeah. But then once the swimsuit models die on the boat, I mean, it's the same thing. You're a little sick of it. Yeah. And then they do it again at the party en masse. It's no good. It's no good.

The movie, I would say after the nurse gets attacked, the movie is no good for basically the whole movie until the end. But here's the scene I find the most interesting. Ben's shaking his head. I'm sorry. It's worked up. Ben's getting worked up. I just get so mad because Piranha should come out of the toilet and totally get somebody

in the butt. And they never did that. Have you seen Snakes on a Plane? Hell yeah. Because there's the bit in Snakes on a Plane, I believe, where a should come out of the toilet and totally get somebody in the butt. And they never did that. Have you seen Snakes on a Plane? Hell yeah. Because there's the bit in Snakes on a Plane, I believe, where a snake comes out of the toilet and bites the guy in the dick. Yeah.

Yeah. That's great. That's what you want out of a movie. Do you see his dick? You don't, which I don't love. Yeah. That sucks. Anyway.

You know what's the one thing about, because I know this is our big soapbox, is getting more dicks in movies yeah uh i was just watching like the the two perfunctory scenes were there here you go hold on here's your box oh thank you ben has placed a soapbox on the ground i'm stepping up onto it okay great great object work guys doing some foley work here this is me stepping up to the box but yeah that really sounds like you stepping onto the box. Yeah, yeah. That's how many steps you take to the box? Sorry, the box is really far away.

Let me walk over. Now let me pour myself a glass of water. What is it about dicks? Let me drink this water. You piece of shit. Here's the thing about dicks okay in this movie the scenes the perfunctory like topless scenes from the actresses you're like oh fuck you know no question like sexism exists in the industry you know devaluing women as characters robbing them of agency all they exist to do is be titillation no question but just talking in pure like cinematic

terms it's much harder to frame a dick clearly in an image and also get emotion from the actor because you have to go far enough away you do whereas like you can just kind of like look if the dick was on our chest maybe things would be different that's my okay so here's my new soapbox ben will you throw the new soapbox on the ground? Oh, sure. Hold on. Oh, this is heavy. Okay. There you go. Wow. Walk over.

It's on the other side of the room. Okay, I'm sorry. I know we're running long, so let me just run over there. Okay, let me pour myself a glass of whiskey. Whiskey? Wow. It's early. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Let me drink this whiskey. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. Let me drink this whiskey.

Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. New soapbox. We should have dicks on our chests. Good job, buddy. Hey, Grimmy. Grimmy, get down from there. Okay. Hold on one second.

Let me jump off of this soapbox. Can you guys tell the baby we don't have a ton to say about this movie? Let me launch my parachute. And of course, this is happening after David read that review where people say that you always derail bits. So I refuse to derail this bit. Literally this is like the dumbest thing ever.

Oh wait guys, I landed in a tree. Hold on one second. Let me get myself out of the leaves here. Crickle, crickle, crickle. Crickle, crickle. That's the word? I can't hear you. These leaves are crickling too loud. Crickle, crickle, crickle. Crickle, crickle. That's the word. I can't hear you. These leaves are crickling too loud.

Crickle, crickle, crickle. Maybe we should just do as much of this as possible so that person understands what my job is on this fucking show. Be careful what you wish for, baby. Yep. Okay, so they leave the morgue and they fuck, right? They have some hot sex. You're talking about- Tyler and Anne. Tyler and Anne. right? They have some hot sex. You're talking about...

Tyler and Anne. Tyler and Anne. Yeah. They fuck at the hotel. Oh, and the son at certain points is kind of discarded because he starts working on a boat with a young, pretty young thing

that he clearly has a crush on and the dad's like, pretty cute, huh? And they're like, yeah. And he's just on the boat with her, right? And you're like, at some point he's going to be in danger. Which he kind of is,

a little bit at the end. Kimbra kind of saves him before he's in danger. Kimbra just sort of on the boat with her right and you're like at some point he's going to be in danger but she kind of is a little bit at the end kimbra kind of saves him before he's in danger kimbra just sort of pulls the boat up next to him and he's like get on yeah and they do but before there's ever like a threat like the threat is we know the piranha's in the water but she is like a sixth brawless character so i guess there's that right yeah um but but ann and tyler sleep together right they do and uh the film doesn't really judge them for that. No big deal. Which I kind of love. No, me too.

But then Kimbra shows up and he's like, ugh. Yes, but he also doesn't freak out. No. So he comes because he's like, there are three people have died in the last 24 hours and you were the last one to see two of them. Right, right. died in the last 24 hours and you were the last one to see two of them right right like the scene very quickly becomes about the stakes of the piranha situation so like she's still sleeping tyler's got the arm around her kimbra's they're looking for her he walks and he sees the two of them in bed tyler sort of weakly waves and then kimbra just like kind of like fucking shakes his head and walks out right right and tyler wakes her up and he's like hey your husband just showed up yeah and she's like oh fuck and she refers to it at some point

earlier in the film as an affair like she does say it's an affair right you know which is like not the ex-husband but it's like he's so distant that it's like she needs to find love from somebody yeah and that you think this film a shittier version of this film could go towards the m night Shyamalan thing where it's like you oh, the man who's become too obsessed with another thing and has neglected his wife and by the end of the film he has to realize that the wife is the thing he cares about the most. Right. But this movie is just kind of like, I mean, he cares about her, but he's incapable of

showing real emotion. He's- Like, that's Kimber's thing. He's emotional in Aliens. Yeah. He's even a little emotional in The Terminator, I would say. A little sympathetic. Not so much in this one.

But I think the character is kind of written that way. Like, it's almost an interesting exploration of a guy who is so obsessive that he can't really connect to other people. So obsessive about his job

as basically a beach patrolman. Right. I mean, like, it's weird. But they, like, Tyler wakes her up and he's like, your husband's here. And she's like, what?

And he's like, I tried to gnaw my arm off but I couldn't do it in time. So she runs out to talk to Kimbra. They don't talk about that at all. No, he's like. He's seething. And it's actually kind of dramatically interesting.

Like more interesting than you get out of most of these movies where the scene, I'm focusing on the scene so much just because I think the scene is kind of an anomaly in this type of movie. But there's no possessive fight over it. He kind of realizes like. You're right, you're right. I mean, I can't be angry well i haven't been there for her what can i fucking say well but then he gets down to business which is like this that three people dead you need to be

ready and she's like flying piranhas and he's like what the fuck are you talking about i don't want to hear this bullshit so the scene is him doubting her because he's starting to worry that she's a suspect yeah but there's like no shaming over the affair. There's no angry fight. No, I don't. And the movie just kind of proceeds, which is like, that feels like that's Cameron's more interested in that. It's funny because, yeah.

And then at the end of the movie. Yeah. Do we have to say anything more about the plot of this movie? No, what? They go to find a- Fucking more piranhas. They do a thing. It turns out that Steve.

Yeah. I mean that Tyler. Works for the company. Worked for the piranhas. The company that militarized the piranhas. They do a thing. It turns out that Steve, I mean that Tyler. Works for the company. Works for the piranha. The company that militarized the piranhas and gave them wings. The piranha militarizing company. And for some reason they dropped off a bunch of piranha eggs. Yeah.

He knew this. Yeah, he knew. This was a big influence on Aloha. Yeah, exactly. The militarization of piranhas. There's also that weird scene where they kill the piranhas by playing the entire history of media to them. That's right. That was a great scene.

That was a great scene. Bill Murray was really mad, though. Yeah. Piranhas are a crazy force. They'll just knock you out. They have that second act fight. Yes. Where she's like, I can't believe you didn't tell me you knew about the militarization of the piranhas.

You know, where it's like, it's a very typical sort of moment in a script like this, where it's like, and then the couple fights over something. But then they get back together to take on the piranhas, which involves them swimming through a lot of air shafts underwater. They're trying to, well, Gabby's trying to- Blow it up, Blow it up. Yes. The dynamite fisherman makes a bomb

out of, like, an alarm clock or something. Yeah. Which you probably enjoyed. There's a lot of close-ups on a ticking clock. Which is something Cameron loves, and there's so much of that in Aliens. And Gabby goes to her boss... Not Gabby, I'm sorry.

Fucking Anne goes to her boss. Yeah, she goes to her boss and says, Flying Piranhas, and he says, you're fired. Right, which I just, that's a lot of the Cameron movies. The villain of every Cameron movie is usually the corporate stooge. A bureaucrat who doesn't understand what it's like on the ground. Right, and is more interested in trying to get something, be it money, be it unobtainium, be it the xenomorphs, and does

not care about how many human lives. He goes, RBC's so good in Avatar, it's crazy. I'm so excited to talk about that. The fucking merchandise spotlights we're gonna have for the rest of the season are unbelievable. We're finally getting back into fertile merchandise spotlight territory. Just the arcade games alone.

The games, I'm down. But that's like a classic Cameron trope. And the guy's like, we already have appointments booked all day. I'm not canceling them. You're fired. And so she feels like there's the conspiratorial, you know, much like the Whalen-Yutani company of like, oh, they don't care. Like, they know and we don't care. So she's got to.

The money you make from diving lessons. Right. She's got to take it in her own hands. Gabby loses. Diving bureaucrat. There's that scene where Gabby's over the dead body. Is that supposed to be a friend of his or a relative? It's a friend of his. And then Gabby bites it at the big spawning scene, which happens at a party.

But Gabby has the scene with Anne where he's like, I don't care if I die. I need to go down there. I need to stop this. So he makes the bomb. Yes. But Anne and Steve take it down. Not Steve. Tyler. Tyler take it down there. Yeah. They put the bomb down there and then they have to leave.

It's actually pretty simple. It's very simple. But it just takes them a while. But they'd already done that drumming thing where they tried to like conjure the fish. Yeah. On the beach. And then maybe the fish cut them off. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know. Well, the only thing that's good is, like, during this big final sequence. Yeah. So you're cutting to upstairs where, above the water, upstairs. Yeah. Where Lance Henry's in a helicopter, and then he crash lands a helicopter on the water somehow? Uh-huh. What was that about?

That was weird. He jumps out of the helicopter. I don't totally understand, but it looks cool. It looks pretty good for a cheap movie. Yeah. He jumps out of the helicopter, and then the helicopter crashes in the water and explodes. I don't know why. Then he gets on a boat, out of the helicopter, and the helicopter crashes in the water and explodes. I don't know why, exactly. Then he gets on a boat, picks up the kids, and then goes over to the wreck.

The kids who don't seem to be in danger. Whatever. Which is interesting. Meanwhile, down at the wreck, you've got Anne and Tyler, and they're swimming through these air shafts, and Anne makes it out, and Tyler doesn't. He gets eaten by the piranha. Yeah. And what I just like is Cameron puts like a red light

on his death scene yeah like it's just a big red filter or a red light or something yeah and it looks pretty good because all he's got is this shot of wriggling piranhas

like a big group of them yeah like they're not moving yeah like I mean they're wriggling but they're not moving in any direction but it's kind of

a little scary yeah and apparently he used some of the very early tech like to make his face huggers in aliens like you know yes I think he said it was the same sort of principles and doing that sort of stuff so that's cool but the movie ends with uh you know she she she gets out of there she gets out of there grabs onto the anchor as the boat is leaving she's dead it's kind of a nice unspoken silent moment where Kimbrough looks and she's not there and sits on the boat. And then the son kind of reacts and can tell from his father's face what happened. And he sort of grabs his son and holds him without having to say anything.

Hendrickson's good. And then she bubbles up to the water, you know. She floats up. And then they all get together and they hug. And he doesn't overplay it, but it's like the end of the movie is like, well, she had this affair. The guy died. Kimbrough almost lost her. Maybe now he's going to appreciate it. But he doesn't overplay it but it's like the end of the movie is like well she had this affair the guy died kimber almost lost her maybe now he's gonna like appreciate it but he doesn't say anything you know no he doesn't say anything dot dot dot yeah it's like a very interesting portrayal of a marriage in this film because it's like that's a stretch but it's more

interesting than you'd expect for for this type of movie it's on that relative scale it's very interesting because you rarely see affairs depicted like this as not being like a a traitorous act you know and not villainizing the characters for engaging in them and kimbrough like isn't an asshole he just can't be there for her he that's his failing as a person right and the movie seems more interested in that than anything else. I think speaking to Cameron's nature as like a very obsessive person,

I think he kind of gets that kind of guy. I mean, I don't know if we're going to cover it on this, but there's a movie called like James Cameron's

Deep Sea Dive or something like that. It was a film he didn't direct. It was a 3D documentary. Oh, maybe that should be our bonus episode. Well, I think we do need to do the two

that he directed as well, but maybe we do that as a bonus episode. No, no, no. We're going to do the two he directed as an episode. Yeah. That's an episode. I think we should do that as a bonus episode because that, I think we do need to do the two that he directed as well, but maybe we do that as No, we're going to do the two he directed as an episode. Yeah.

That's an episode. I think we should do that as a bonus episode because that movie's fascinating, but it's about him going on an exploration to dive deeper than anyone ever

has in the ocean. Oh, I think that's one of the movies he made. It's not. This came out like two years ago. He didn't direct it. I saw it in theaters.

It was released in 3D. There's Aliens of the Deep and there's Ghosts of the Abyss, and this is called like James Cameron's Under was released in 3D. There's Aliens of the Deep and there's Ghosts of the Abyss and this is called like James Cameron's Undersea Exploration 3D. Like the title is that clunky. Right. But it's like

they talk to Susie Amos who's his current wife and the whole thing is he's going down into this little pod where the pressure is so great in the ocean that if like a rivet isn't perfectly tightened he will just explode. Like he will just explode like he will explode in a capsule and they just talked to susie amos and she's just kind of like

well yeah i mean i'd love it if my husband didn't need to put himself in a situation with a very high risk of death but i guess that's who i'm married to like that's who she's married you just have to know that he would rather rather go deeper into the ocean than anyone ever has. When that's a hobby, not even his job. He's electing to do that. Then make sure that he could be there for his wife and kids forever. We'll talk more about him. But that's the interesting character.

You know what else we could do as a bonus? We could do T2 3D Battle Across Time. Which I want to do. But let's talk about the matter at hand. Yes. There has been a bonus episode that's been suggested to us. I am very much in favor of doing it. David is against it. Ben, I want your opinion.

And also I want listeners to write in because I think you're all going to back me up on this. Right, but we're not going to do it. There is a touring Cirque du Soleil show that is coming to the New York Barclays Center the weekend of September 11th. It's playing like the 6th to the 11th

or something like that. The 7th to the 11th? Right, very soon, right? It might actually be right around when this episode drops. Called Turok, The First Flight. And it is a Cirque du Soleil show inspired by, but telling a new original story in the Avatar universe. We're doing a fucking James Cameron miniseries.

There's a James Cameron Cirque du Soleil show that is coming to New York City while we're recording, and David doesn't want to go. Right, right. I doubt it. Here's why. Don't want to go. Ben? Sounds boring. Well, all Right. I doubt. Here's why. Don't want to go. Ben?

Sounds boring. Well, all right. I like a carnival. Hells yeah. I love a carnival. I like a French carnival. I love a French carnival. I never saw Avatar.

Well, are you excited to see Avatar? Yeah, I'm bummed that I didn't get the 3D experience maybe you should buy a 3D TV listener and friend of the show Jordan Fish has a 3D TV and has offered up our 3D TV his 3D TV to us to watch the three 3D movies

the two documentaries and Avatar isn't it funny how 3D TVs for a second it was like oh soon they're all gonna be 3D and now it's like forget it forget it they're all going to be 3D. And now it's like, forget it. Forget it, forget it, forget it. They're curved now. That's the new thing.

I can't wait for one year from now for them to be like, oh, actually, it turns out curves are a bad idea. TVs should be flat. Yeah, I don't get the curve thing. Well, this has been our episode. No, no, no. What?

No, no, no. Box office game. Box office game. Okay. Excuse me. But as we has been our episode. No, no, no, no. What? No, no, no, no. Oh, box office game. Box office game. Okay. Excuse me. But as we're playing the box office game, I'm going to hand Ben

a phone playing the Avatar Cirque du Soleil show so he can see and weigh in on whether or not he wants to see this. I know what Ben's going to say immediately.

Of course. That's just pandering. Box office game. This didn't come anywhere close to the top 10. It barely got released, but we're going to try to- It's not even listed in Box Office Mojo's database, because I don't know how much money

this movie made. It's not known. Ben's got a huge grin on his face. I just want the listeners to know. So this movie came out- Let's go. Let's go, right? We got to go.

Yeah, you guys have fun. You're coming. You're coming with us, David. Uh-huh. That's great. Ooh, they got kites. Let me see this. Turok, the first flight.

It kind of looks basically like someone ripped off the Lion King, except with Avatar. There they are. How long is this? I think it's seven hours. No, it's probably like hour 40. It's probably like a trim hour 40.

This looks so painfully bad. I can't wait to see this. I think it's seven hours. No, it's probably like hour 40. It's probably like a trim hour 40. Like, you know, one of these episodes. This looks so painfully bad. I can't wait to see this. I can't wait to see this with you. I'm going to have such a good time watching this next to you. Okay, box office game, 1981. So it came out the weekend of November 4th, 1982. God, I love this.

I'm so excited to see this. Yeah. It came out in Italy in 81. Yeah, okay. Put the trailer away. Put it away. They're petting a dire horse. Put it away now. The floating

mountains of Pandora. That's right. So the number one movie that week, I want you to tell me. From 1982. 1982, November. It was an action movie. One of his best ever. The actor or the director? The actor. I don't even know who directed it.

Interesting. Okay. So it's pretty anonymous. One of his best ever. I forget. Interesting. Okay. So it's pretty anonymous. One of his best ever. It's such a good movie. It's not Schwarzenegger. It's not Stallone. It is Stallone. It is Stallone.

Is it First Blood? Okay. First Blood. And then Cameron writes. Rambo 2, right? He writes Rambo 2. I think he's the sole credited screenwriter. Interesting. Okay.

I think you're right, which is not a good movie, but it's kind of fun. All right. Number two. First Blood. Okay. Interesting. I think you're right which is not a good movie but it's kind of fun. Yeah. Alright number two First Blood. Okay it's number one. Is a national it made 6.6 million second week release.

Number two is a national lampoon movie but not one I know. An early one. Pre-Animal House. Not Pre-Animal House because Animal House comes out before that.

I think Animal House is 79. You're right. You're right. It's the third Animal House. Right. They filmed it while he was still on. It's the third Animal House. Right. They filmed it while he was still on. It's the third National Input. Right.

And Vacation hasn't happened yet? No. Okay. So it's. John Hughes is the credited writer. Oh. Oh. I fucking.

Oh God. It's a really dull name. I know what this is. Yeah. Have you seen it? No. But I just know because of reading like john hughes profiles and shit uh well i'm never gonna get the title what's the fucking name of this class reunion yes i knew it

was something school never heard of it yeah i've never heard of it i i've never i've never seen it i have heard no one say anything interesting about it it just comes up when people are writing about john hughes's career i knew it was some school fucking thing yeah number three is a movie that some people like it's a the third in a horror franchise. Is it the best one? Is it Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3? Dream Warriors? Dream Warriors.

It's not Dream Warriors. Okay, because that's the best. It is. It's a curio. Is it Halloween 3 Season of the Witch? That's right. That's right. Okay.

Which I've never seen. And is that was the one. It's the one that doesn't have Michael Myers in it. It's just another. They tried to make it an anthology of just films that take place on Halloween. Yeah. Yeah. which I've never seen. And is, that was the one. It's the one that doesn't have Michael Myers in it. It's just another thing. They tried to make it an anthology of just films that take place on Halloween.

Yeah. Yeah. And then they never did that again. Yeah. But I think some people kind of like it. Yeah. It's got its fans, I think.

Yeah. I just think it's a cool idea they did that. And then we're like, never mind, Halloween 4, Mikey Myers, baby. Number four was,

I believe, the number one grossing film of all time at the time. E.T. the Extraterrestrial? Correct. In what week of release? 74? It is in the 21st week of release.

It has made $279 million in 1982. Never happen again. A run like that. Okay. In fact, just to adjust for inflation, it had made $823 million domestically. Number five is a movie that adjusted had made $250 million in its 14th week of release.

It was an Oscar winner. It's a romantic drama. Out of Africa? No. Oh, no, no, because that wins a different year. It wins in like 85 or something. Starring, I don't want to tell you. It won an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor.

It's a naval romance. Oh, oh. The great Lou Gossett Jr. That's right. Giving that Oscar perf in Officer and a Gentleman. Officer and a Gentleman, which made so much money. Yeah. Holy shit.

You are the wind beneath. You know, you forget because to us, an officer it's like, it's a footnote, right? It's like, oh, well, there's the scene where he lifts her up and carries her out. And, uh, what's it? Dickie Gears? Gossett Jr.'s in it, you know, Dickie Gears in it, and he's got a cute uniform on. That movie made $400 million adjusted, you know? It was a phenomenon.

Remember when adults used to go see movies? It's crazy. So there you go. That when adults used to go see movies? It's crazy. So there you go. That's your top five. That's fascinating. You've also got Monsignor, which I think is like a Peter O'Toole. Never heard of it, but it sounds like a Peter O'Toole movie. Pink Floyd, The Wall is up there. Rocky III is in there. Rocky III

and First Blood, both in the top ten. Dude, maybe Stallone. Anyway. 82, different time. It's a different time. So, yeah. Everything else is going to be really great, guys. Yeah, get ready. So, sorry about this episode.

I mean, we had fun. It was fun. We had a fun time. I don't know if anyone's- I mean, the wide awake Praying with Anger lead-in to the Shyamalan series is also pretty weak. I think that- What could we do? Yeah, yeah.

But combining the two made it a little more action-packed. What if we had combined Piranha 2, The Spawning Inn, The Terminator? Yeah. For some reason. But that was the problem.

I wish he had two underwhelming movies at the beginning. I mean, we could have watched his short film Xenogenesis. Is it available online anymore? I have no idea. I've never looked for it.

He did make a 12-minute sci-fi movie in 1978, which was his calling card, I guess. I feel like this is going to be the first season where we do 12 different bonus episodes. Yeah, maybe we'll do multiple episodes for a certain movie. I don't know, man. I don't know, man.

Game over, man. Game over, man. Look, thank you for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. New mini. It's a new mini. We broke off a new mini, baby. That was me breaking it off. That's what happens when you break off a new mini. And like a

flare gun that goes up into the sky. Yeah. Not a flare gun, a flare kiss. I don't know. Flare kiss? Yeah, flare kiss. Flare kiss. Flare kiss. yeah not flare gun flare kiss i don't know fuck me flare kiss yeah flare kiss uh flare kiss flare kiss yeah how was that do you like that i love that uh 15 i didn't like it yeah 50 or 15 15 okay uh and hey uh shout out to and thanks to uh andy levy who uh andy levy really uh recently uh it'll be less recently by the time this airs, had me on his show Red Eye, the Fox News show, interviewed me to talk about the tick,

and on air gave me 10 comedy points. Yes, and I told him to do that via Twitter DM. Yeah, but he did it. No, he did it. I was not sure that he was going to do it. There's no footage of me on Fox News being given 10 comedy points. Well, you bring up Andy. Yeah.

You just made me think. We never talked about the Jewish stereotype character in the movie. Who disappears. Who just disappears. He does have sex. The dentist? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, that's the last you see of him, right? Yeah. During the piranha attack, he's like, huh, well, I'm getting laid. Or like, you know, he closes the screen door. Yeah. So at least he has sex. Nice. Nice.

So Andy Levy, that's what made you. Is it Levy or Levy? I don't know. That's So at least he has sex. Nice. Nice. So Andy Levy, that's what made you, is it Levy or Levy? I don't know. That's why I'm cutting both ways. But that man's Jewish last name

made you think of the Jewish stereotype in this movie. Great job, Ben Hosley. Yeah. Very reductive. Jesus Christ, Ben. You've gotten mad with power.

Okay. Sorry. Yeah. Oh, come on, Ben. You might be our finest film critic, but you're not our finest humanist.

No, I like everybody. Oh, fine. Okay. Oh, come on, man. You might be our finest film critic, but you're not our finest humanist. No, I like everybody. Oh, fine. Okay. Apology accepted. Ben for president. Ben for president. Yeah, you're not 35 yet, so maybe not president. But, you know, think about it.

Maybe next time. I could do politics. Maybe, you know, politician? President, Ben? President? Hos Ben? President? Hosident? Botus? Yeah, there we go.

Botus. Great. Ben of the United States. You guys are enjoying this, right? I'm having a great time. Ben, don't keep this all in. Keep it all in and then play it again. Double it.

Play it again. Yeah. Same. Play it again, same. Play it again, Ben. We're going to rewind and start from the beginning. Yeah, just play it all backwards. Fantastic. You know, like Memento style.

Thank you all for listening. Tune in next week for The Terminator. Good movie, which apparently you haven't seen, so that's actually exciting. I haven't seen it in a while. I haven't seen it through adult eyes. I remember it.

Really good through adult eyes, especially in modern terms, is a movie that is about women feeling under threat at all times wherever they go while they're walking on the streets at night really great movie Michael Bean baby Bean baby Bean

thank you for listening and as always Ben would you mind placing down my tallest soapbox? Oh, yeah, hold on. It's made of metal. Clink!

It's metal, so it made of... Yeah, that was good. Whew! A lot of steps. Let me just take a breather here. Okay, let's... Ahem. Okay, let me change outfits. Unzip this.

Zip. Let me put on a different jumpsuit here. Zip. Do these put on a different jumpsuit here. Zip. Do these Velcro latches. Kick. Kick. Kick. Kick.

Okay. Oh, shoot some. I love how you're the one who's in a rush. Flares into the air. Pachoo. Pachoo. Pachoo. Pachoo. There we go. Pachoo! Pachoo!

There we go. I don't know. I don't know how much longer this is going for. Okay, and now David's walking out of the studio. Ka-chow! That was too realistic, Ben.

Kree! Meow! Oh, there's a cat? No, David, don't say anything. Let this go. Ka-plunk, ka-plunk, ka-plunk, ka-plunk. Oh, my bowling ball. Meow, meow. Hello. Thank you all for waiting. Now that everything has been set up properly,

I'd like to announce that this is the end of the episode.