Blank Check with Griffin & David - Porco Rosso with Justin Charity

Episode Date: September 15, 2019

Justin Charity (The Ringer) joins Griffin and David to discuss 1992's flying pig, Porco Rosso. Together they examine fascism, Space Camp, turning into a pig and more. 

I'd rather be a podcast than a fascist. Yeah. Porco. Porco. Porco Rosso. Top five guy. You think so? I think a top five guy. Right.

I just want to get out of the way with something I'm kind of embarrassed by. I think this is my favorite one we've watched so far. I was almost certain it would be. Yeah, and this is why I'm kind of embarrassed. Okay. I feel like I'm falling why I'm kind of embarrassed. Okay. I feel like I'm falling harder for the kind of basic shit. What do you mean the basic shit? And basic is relative within a Miyazaki oeuvre, right?

None of it's basic. No, but I don't understand what you mean. And we haven't gotten a spirit away yet. No. Which you have seen, right? But you don't remember? When I was 15 and didn't connect you were like i don't get what's going on forget it right right and i felt kind of somewhere on the

totoro rewatch which i'm a little embarrassed by don't be embarrassed totoro to me would be the basic one that's like the most famous one of all i know but that's what i'm saying i'm not getting into the ones that are like oh i see. You're not getting into the super Miyazaki. The totemic Miyazaki. I feel like the ones I'm getting into are the ones that are a little more western. Like your favorites are

Cagliostro and this, which are kind of set in Europe. Kind of about anti-heroes. Right, right, right. Porco Rosso is like so consciously like kind of an homage to like 40s Hollywood.

Yeah, sure. That's what I'm, my embarrassment is that the stuff where they're like, this is so much, like this, you never would find this

in American animation. Look at Miyazaki and how spiritual he is and how connected to nature he is and how willing he is to go into non-narrative places. And I feel like those ones I'm appreciating and not connecting with.

Or even those elements in the movie I'm appreciating. You don't love nature. You're not really a nature guy. I don't. I don't think of you as someone who's like, guys, let's go to the Hudson Valley and hike. You know, like, guys, let's stay by a lake for a week. I'm not a fan of nature.

Right. It has been a problem in almost every romantic relationship I've ever had. Sure, because classic, you know, let's upgrade the relationship. All nature, Griffin. Let's go be in some nature together. Yeah, forests, deserts, planes. Planes? Yeah, there's all different kinds of environments i'll go on vacation as long

as it's planes i want to be on some plane you're saying my high plains drifter yeah you're saying okay the wild planes not airplanes yeah he means like planes like yeah yeah right right i mean look i don't i don't want to out myself as some like nature nature hate and asshole but when you listed those things i my body physically tensed up. All three of those things. When you said forest, desert, plains. He started swatting at bugs. I did. I felt... He started putting zinc on his nose.

I felt my shoulders rise a little higher with each of those things. I can appreciate it. But anytime in nature and it's beautiful, I'm like, this is beautiful. So how long before we get into it? I just feel, I don't know.

I mean, let's, let's call it some other things, right? Let's just like address all the elephants in the room. Okay. I didn't realize there were so many elephants in the room. I'm not designed for this world.

Okay. I'm saying my body is terrible. Okay. And it feels like I'm someone who in like a society that is still actually based around survival of the fittest right would survive the shortest period of time yeah and so i think nature scares me because i'm not supposed to survive in natural environments i only have been able to stay alive in this horrific artificial manhattan man-made that's the thing about you yes you haven't even

strayed to the outer boroughs you're like i'm sticking with manhattan like the most urbanized of the city's boroughs i i have strayed but it's my home base you've lived there you live in manhattan right you've never lived outside i've never lived outside of it obviously you've gone to other i just i don't want to make it sound like I'm... I've gone to Big Nice many times. Retired bit. And I travel. You're going to call yourself on a retirement? Yeah.

I travel. Yeah. But I do... You usually go to cities, I would say. I do. And when I go outside of cities, I get a little stressed out. I didn't realize we were going to get into this because it's not something I've been thinking about.

But yeah. No, because I was right. I've been thinking about it. You can talk, Justin. Yeah, please. Nature is awful. Thank you! And Porco Rosso is the best me.

Okay, good. This is great. I don't think it's that Western. It's pretty Japanese. I think even with how European it is. But it is one of his... A very Japanese Europe. It's one of his movies that's explicitly not set in Japan.

Yeah, and also opens like a Bond movie. Opens like a Bond movie. I'm just saying, I feel like I get the ones that are half and half. You know what I'm saying? Cagliostro is like Europe caper via Eastern Miyazaki storytelling. Sure, but also via

one of the most classic anime franchises. Right. I get what you're saying, but I think, yeah, half and half is probably the right way to think about it. And I'm a little worried going into Spirited Away because everyone thinks that's like the best fucking movie ever made. I'll say I had, I watched that movie for the first time around the same time, like 15 years old.

I had the exact same reaction to it the first time I watched Spirited Away. Sort of like, what? This is a very bewildering movie. I didn't quite get it. I just want to be able to for this miniseries come back to it and be like, I get it. I'm converted. I love it. Look at me and touch with it. I love

people being friends with a river. Well, you haven't watched Bearded Away yet. No, but I'm worried I'm going to watch it and have the same thing where I go like, this is very pretty. I get it. But Spirited Away is not as nature-y. Because it's mostly set in the bathhouse. It doesn't just have to be the nature stuff. I also feel

like it's the sort of like non-literal, spiritual I get you. You're saying that it's not that much about nature, but it is literally about a girl falling in love with a river. Not falling in love. He needs to understand that he's a river to get back in touch

with himself. She needs to understand that she's a whole person and he needs to understand that he's a whole river. This is my nightmare. Your nightmare is that you are a river? It would be like Kafka's The Metamorphosis. I'd be fine being a bug. If I woke up and found myself a river?

I would be terrified. And the worst thing is I wouldn't know how to end it. Do you know what I'm saying? Oh, God, that's dark. It's dark, but it's true. I wouldn't know how to end it. Kegliostro, you like. Loved.

I'm just thinking of episodes. Been watching Lupin. Been watching the show. Yeah, you like Lupin. Like the old Lupin? Yeah. Yeah, been watching the first series. Castle in the Sky uh old lupin you watch yeah okay yeah i've been watching like the first series castle in the sky i feel like you were into very into but again it's like

it's an action movie like that was like an action movie that's for me it's really totoro was the one where you were kind of like why isn't this like hitting some deeper and look i like ponyo but i rate it below porco rosso castle Castle in the Sky, and Lupin. And I know Ponyo's your best friend. I know Ponyo loves ham. I haven't seen Ponyo. That's like the one movie. I just have never seen it.

Ponyo's pretty cool. Hey, I love Ponyo. It's pretty cool. Pretty cool movie. It's pretty cool. Sosuke and Ponyo loves ham. Ponyo loves Sosuke. Ponyo loves ham.

I don't know if you met Sosuke's mom, but she's fucking banging. Yeah. Oh, my God. Here's another thing. I was going to raise the table for hilarious fact. Oh, okay. Here's another thing. I've been wondering if I should have watched these in the dubs. And I know that's like a sacrilegious thing to say.

I was like, I'm going to watch them all subbed because that's like... I was actually going to tell you to watch this dub, but... It's fucking Michael Keaton. I figured you were just going to do it. Michael Keaton as Porco Rosso? Are you fucking kidding me? He's pretty good. It's kind of a quiet performance by him. I watched the trailer and I was all in. Yeah, it's great. If I could raise the table right now,

I would. You should watch it. What does his laugh sound like? Because Porco laughs a lot. Porco laughs a lot. He does a good laugh. Okay. He does a ha ha ha ha ha. The Japanese his laugh sound like? Because Porco laughs a lot. Porco laughs a lot. He does a good laugh. Okay. He does a ha ha ha ha ha. Because the Japanese is like. Porco and the Japanese rules, to be clear. I mean, you loved it.

I loved it. Now that you've seen the sub, especially watch the dub. I know. I feel like if I was a professional, I would be watching each of these two times before we recorded the episode. You don't need to watch the dub before you record the episode. Because it's only going to watch the dubs before you record the episode. Because, like, it's not gonna it's only gonna confuse the matter,

honestly. But after, you can always go back to those dubs. I just feel like any of the small changes that happen... Most of the dubs are good. Yeah. And you watched I mean, you mostly saw these as dubs before subs, right? No, I saw Spirited Away, no. Mostly not. Really? Mostly not. Oh, no, you said you watched dubs first.

Yes, yes, yes. Because that was just on TV and stuff. And theatrically, you saw the dub. Right. But Spirited Away, no. Mostly not. Really? Mostly not. Oh, no, you said you watched Dubbed first. Yes, yes, yes. Because that was just on TV and stuff. And theatrically, you saw the dub? Right. But Spirited Away, I saw it subtitled theatrically. I can't remember with how. I think I saw that one subbed as well. Spirited Away, I remember seeing Dubbed and thinking the dub was bad. The dub in Spirited is not amazing.

Right. The main two girls are just not great. It's Lilo. Lilo? Who plays Lilo? What's her name? Dava Chase? Who is Lilo and is also She's Lilo? She's white. She's like a very white

girl. I didn't realize that. Is it a good performance? It's a great performance. Lilo and Sush is so fucking good. I haven't seen that movie in like almost 20 years I guess yeah did I say in a recent episode

you said that that and right okay I just wanted to make sure I included it uh Disney's offered since like the Ashman days

basically I think they're the two best films since Walt I don't think since the Ashman days that's insane that's not true that's crazy I like them more than all of the musicals that. I don't think since the Ashman days. That's insane. That's not true.

That's crazy. I like him more than all of the musicals. That's, I don't know. I don't agree with you, but that's okay. I think Lilo is like a perfect thing. Yeah, Lilo's a member of Bingram. I think Lilo is also kind of the closest that Disney has come to making something that feels a little like Miyazaki. It's very American in its storytelling. Treasure Planet's got some Miyazaki. It's very American in its storytelling.

Treasure Planet's got some Miyazaki. But Lilo and Stitch is like is very like small and intimate and is all about the inner life. You know? Yeah. And a cute creature. And the way they like involve like the fantastical with the like

the whole relationship between Lilo and her sister and how much of the movie is about like the single mother trying really hard. Not a single mother. An older sister who is forced to become a single parent and doesn't have time to like be her own age. Now that I'm watching all these Miyazaki films

feels like that is the subplot to every Miyazaki film. Often. There's some sort of human spine to it like that. Totally. Yeah. Alright, well, introduce the podcast. It's a blank check of the Griffin and Dew. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors of massive success early on in their career give a series of blank checks to make

whatever crazy passion projects they want, and sometimes they connect more with Griffin and sometimes they don't. Right. I like them all. I haven't disliked a movie I've seen. I just wanted to suddenly have a galaxy brain. And be like, I know kung fu. You know, like I get it. I get the whole

thing. Yeah. But it's fine. I love Porco Rosso. He's a top five guy. Yeah. We're talking about Porco Rosso. It's a main series on the films of Hayao Miyazaki. Yeah! What's it called? It's called Howl's Moving Podcast. And who's our guest? Our guest is Justin Cherdy

hello hello everyone the ringer Damage Control also co-host of Sound Only we recently did an anime podcast at the ringer yeah we did an Evangelion podcast

it's called Sound Only oh I did yeah we did a mini series about Neon Genesis Evangelion me and Micah Peters we did like the original TV show we did the movie The End of Evangelion and me and Micah Peters. We did the original TV show. We did the movie, The End of Evangelion. And now we have a bunch of people in Sean Fennessey's mentions

campaigning for us to do the Evangelion reboot movies. Sure. And also Cowboy Bebop. Sure. We'll see. We'll do some negotiations. We'll see what happens. I highly recommend watching original Lupin.

Oh, my God. Fucking rules is the best. He's also a top five guy with pork rolls. Have you watched any of the new Lupin. Fucking rules, it's the best. He's also a top five guy with Porco Rosso. Have you watched any of the new Lupin? I haven't. I've only watched Cagliostro, and I've been watching the first series. If you like Porco Rosso,

I recommend the... It's not the most recent season of Lupin, but it's the one before that, which is set in Milan. It's very Japanese-European. Yeah, it's good. Here's the thing, if you're digging into this, in like Milan. It's like 13 or something. It's very Japanese-European. Yeah, it's good. Good? It's beautiful.

It's cute. Now, here's the thing. If you're digging into this, I've been trying to like exposure therapy, break down my walls with Japanese animation, which I feel like

I've been very selective in terms of what I've been able to connect with. Previously, I'm trying to like break through all my dumb Western biases, right? You love animation, though.

That's the thing. You do love animation. That was the whole challenge. You just gotta start from there. Loving animation. We talked about this, and I've been doing it, I've been getting into stuff, but we talked about this I think in the Castle in the Sky episode. The fact that I love animation so much means that I'm so imprinted into American animation, unfortunately.

That it's like I have to sort of and it's easier for me to do now, but when I was younger, I was like, this is not how I understand animation to work. Yeah, okay. Because I was a kid who got really into, like, structure and forms and patterns and things like that. And it was so off the beaten path from what I was experiencing.

Evangelion, everyone's complaining the Netflix versions are fucked with, right? Yeah. How bad is it? I have complaints about people's complaints. Because I was going to maybe take a swing at that. That's my thing. I'm thinking about watching it. Because I'm so lazy. Have they not fucked with it enough that watching it on Netflix

is not sacrilegious? I structured that sentence improperly. My basic theory with all this stuff, right, is if you're not watching something in the original Japanese, you're watching a translation of it. so watching one translation versus that it's like you're not watching the original thing these are translations it's english like people take liberties yeah that stuff is more like licensing problems and anime just in general has a lot of problem like even the idea of getting Evangelion on Netflix,

it took a decade and some change because the fucking anime industry is a nightmare and getting the rights to anything is very, like,

a Byzantine process and I think people sort of, that show getting on Netflix and people being like, well, they didn't license Fly Me to the Moon.

It just felt like, kill me now. Get the fuck out of here. They also replaced Fly Me to the moon another classic song from the original series it's not like they replaced it with gangnam style or something yeah although that sounds kind of good yeah yeah yeah uh yeah just imagine trying to explain uh nevon genesis neon genesis evangelion to Frank Sinatra. Yeah. Right? What are these kids doing?

Yeah. They're getting in What's a Robot? I don't know. Start there. Well, there is that amazing, I only found out about this because of, you must remember this,

Neon, that's a noble guess. Do you know about, I know my periodic table. Do you know about the Frank Sinatra space album? Yes, I do. It's one of the early, what's the episode?

You must remember this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was written and narrated by Karina Longworth. Yes, that's right. yes i was saying i said this is the only reason i know about that but he did this triple album which is where his cover of new york new york comes from but it's also like him going like pluto what a place it's three discs okay it's a triple album it's called past future present first disc frank doing his classics. Right? The standards. Second disc, Frank covering, like, present day, like, recent songs.

So he does New York, New York. That's him, I think, doing something for the first time. Right. The present. Right. A lot of the sort of, like. He does, like, a Billy Joel song. He does a Neil Diamond song.

The post-70s Sinatra covers that are famous all come from that second disc. And then the third disc no one talks about, which is Future. The Future. And it's Frank singing like, And what of Pluto, the smallest planet? It's incredible. It's got this bizarre Ziggy Stardust production. Great album.

1980, I think, came out. It's incredible. It's old Sinatra. So maybe he was like, I'm digging your vibe, baby. More robot suits. I went to Japan once. I'm not allowed to re-enter

because of a diplomatic agreement. Had to be struck by Jimmy Carter. Oh my God. I called in a favor because i am deeply connected to the american mob these crazy little green men i love them i did a super cut of all the impersonations that i've ever had on this podcast i was driving down 66 with jimmy hoffa we ran into these real alien cats. He shot him in the face and we buried him in Nebraska. 66 go to Nebraska.

I remember Angie Dickinson and I took a wild weekend trip to area 51. Frank Sinatra had voiced Porco. Oh, he would have. I mean, if you like from here to eternity or whatever, you know, like that era of Frank Sinatra had voiced Porco. Oh, he would have. I mean. If you, you mean like from here to eternity or whatever, you know, like that era of Frank Sinatra.

You know, you could pick him up, put him in a Bible. Curse shit, curse shit. But when I was looking for, when I realized that Keaton was the voice of Porco Rosso

and I wanted to find a trailer for the dub so I could hear the voice. Yeah. I found a YouTube clip of when they were playing all the Ghibli films. I think it was right before Disney properly released all of them.

Sure. But they were playing them all on Turner Classic Movies. And Lasseter and Ben Mankiewicz would do the introductions together. And Ben Mankiewicz made a really interesting point where he was like, this is, of all the Miyazaki films we've been covering, this is the one that probably fits most at home on TCM. Absolutely. Because it's the one movie that feels like it could have been made.

It's 50% like that. Right. And then it's 50% kind of wilder Miyazaki shit. Right. And there's a pig. But he said he was like, you could imagine the three leads in this film being played by like Gary Cooper and Carol Lombard.

And I forget who the third person he said was. But I think the answer is, Sinatra would have played Porco Rosso. He could play Porco. Right? Older Sinatra could play Porco. Like, you know, 50s Sinatra. Come back to Sinatra.

Oh, you're right. That's the problem. Babyface Sinatra could play the other guy. 50s Sinatra would have been too young to play old Porco, but old Sinatra is the perfect guy to play Porco. No, 50s Sinatra can do it. 50s Sinatra could do it. He was pretty old in the 50s. Man with a golden arm Sinatra. Yeah, because No, 50s Sinatra can do it. 50s Sinatra could do it. He was pretty old in the 50s.

Man with a golden arm Sinatra. Yeah, because in the 50s, he's in his mid to late 40s. I always forget he was such an old man. He was born in 1915. Yeah. He's old.

Yeah. Old. But kept young by those crazy Martians. I said, kids, I love these kids. You can stay on this planet and I'll sing you a song.

Gotta play by my rules. Some of your Green Mars pills. I don't know. End the episode. What do you think of this? These kids are literally out of this world. Do you like Sinatra, Ben? I don't.

Oh, Blue Eyes? You don't like him? Wow! But you hate hippies. What's that? But you hate hippies. Yeah, he's the most anti-hippie. I don't hate hippies. If you remember... Oh, right. It's Alex Ross Perry who hates hippies. What's that? But you hate hippies. Yeah, he's the most anti-hippie. I don't hate hippies.

If you remember... Oh, right. It's Alex Ross Perry who hates hippies. You actually were fine with hippies. I like 60s music. I think it had a huge influence. I don't like hippie culture. I dislike it.

If that Charlie Manson rolled up on me, I would have shot him square in the face. I think I got two things against Sinatra. A, because I'm from New Jersey, he's been shoved down my throat my entire life. Oh, sure. Hoboken. It's like Sinatra and Joe Budden, man. But wasn't Sinatra from New Jersey and he was born there and when he was 12, he was like, I'm out of here.

This place is a dump. I think there's a famous mugshot of him being arrested in Hoboken. Yeah, yes. I tried to kill the governor. That's like the poster that people have on their fucking college dorm room. Oh, yeah, yes, of course. Where he kind of looks like John Dillinger. Yeah, right, right.

And like, okay, because we're making fun of him. You're doing his like singing kind of like shtick, right? It's not singing. He's just saying stuff. No, he's an incredible singer. He can sing. He can sing. But a lot of this stuff-

What he goes for, he goes for. He's a fantastic singer. Of course. You gotta listen to Zip Sinatra. He can sing. But a lot of this stuff When he goes for it, he goes for it. He's a fantastic singer. Of course. You gotta listen to Lipsonato. He's got golden pipes. But yes, later in his career,

the thing you could mock was him just sort of like talking through. I went to a place and I saw a tree. Sounds fucking evocative. And I saw a bird. Wait a second.

Wait a second. And I sat down Wait a second. His story's going off rails. Ben, Ben. You had some good songwriting. Ben! I never knew you had such a beautiful voice. Oh yeah, I can sing. You can sing

like an angel. Come fly with me! Okay, enough of me. Where do you stand on Bruce? As the other sort of rules! Bruce! I love Bruce.

Bruce is my man. Bruce is like blue collar hero. Right. But like we were talking about this about how good the Broadway slash

Netflix special is where he's like I never worked in a factory. That is a crock of shit. It's all bullshit. I'm a fucking professional musician.

What are you talking about? I'm a fancy Nancy. I had a hit album when I was 20. I never worked in a factory. My family was all born in a town. are you talking about? I'm a fancy Nancy over here. I had a hit album when I was 20. Never worked in a factory. My family was all on the edge of town. Are you kidding me? I live in a mansion. That was not my life at all. I just found it evocative. The only darkness is in the rooms

I don't enter in my mansion because it's so large. Big rooms! Well, I resisted Bruce a lot too because it was so shoved down my throat. My dad's music. But then later in life I discovered it and it's just like Nebraska. Yeah. Born in the USA.

There's so many, even his late 80s albums are so fantastic. He's just a great songwriter. So I've come on board to the Bruce train. Where are you from, Justin? Richmond.

He's from Virginia. Richmond, Virginia. From the outskirts of Richmond, Virginia. So who's like Richmond's famous son? Yeah, who's like, yeah. D'Angelo.

Really? I mean, that's, I always associate Richmond with D'Angelo. What about that who's like, yeah. D'Angelo. Really? I mean, I always associate Richmond with D'Angelo. What about that hip hop scene? Yeah, D'Angelo. I mean, that's singing. It's more like an R&B guy. Atmosphere?

Oh, wow. You spent time in Richmond? I'm trying to find like... No, I used... That's a good list where it's like famous people from... Yeah. There's not someone who's shoved down the throat in the same way that Ben's talking about, though.

No. There's not like a clear cut, like this is our pride and joy, sort of. This is the one who got out and made good. I mean, the problem with D'Angelo is that D'Angelo didn't really make it out. He sort of got stuck in Richmond for a while and was going through some rough times.

Wait, his down period was in Richmond? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you would read about him on local news, it was a rough few years with him. Apparently, what's his name?

The guy with the hat, Jason Mraz, is that how you say his name? Jason Mraz! Yeah, he's from Richmond. I never knew that. I never knew that. Or at least,

Amy Mann, apparently? Wait, wasn't Dave Matthews sort of a Richmond guy? I thought Dave Matthews was from South Africa. Yeah, but I think he's associated with Charl thought Dave Matthews is from Charlottesville yeah but I think he's associated with Charlottesville

yeah let me see oh Chris Brown yeah CB is from yeah CB is from Richmond oh Trey Songz okay Trey Songz also

I'm trying to see oh Trey Songz is from Petersburg oh and and and and Guar

oh they're from Richmond Guar Petersburg. Oh, and Guar. Oh, shit. They're from Richmond. Guar rules. Do you know that Guar, every 10 years, they cycle through new characters? Right. And they're due for a new set of characters. I might be behind on this.

They might have already debuted them. Me, I love Guar. Those kids from Richmond. Those crazy kids from Richmond. I love them with their helmets and their oversized weapons. I went to a GWAA show once. I got socked in the jaw. It was part of the experience.

Nothing I love more than a couple hepcats from art school coming up with a conceptual theater project that somehow charts as a legitimate band, baby. Hepcats from art school is definitely what Richmond is now. It was not like that when I was growing up. You ask me who the best kids making music today are, it's Devo and Gua for me. Frank Sinatra.

God, Devo would hate Frank Sinatra. But Frank Sinatra would love Devo. I get it, kids. You don't like disco either, right? Right. These kids, they can't stop whipping it. How is this the bit

we arrived on for Porco Rosso? Because Frank Sinatra is the lead voice performance in the English dub of Porco Rosso. Yeah, that's it. He should have been. He should be live action Porco Rosso. Rip. Rip.

I'm just not surprised that you love this movie. I am surprised you did not flip your audio channel over to English just to at least check out Old Keeny. I was really tempted. I did it for a second or two, but I was like, I'm going to watch this a second time. I love this movie. Let me fully engage with it.

As the master himself intended. But God, it's so fucking tempting to hear that like, you know why I didn't flip over more? Because I was afraid I'd get stuck on it. Like all the other ones we've been watching, I flip over a little bit just to get a lay of the land. And I was like,

if I start hearing Keat for more than two seconds, I'm going to be sucked in. Right, right. I was telling David before we started recording that I went back and re-watched this movie last night without the subtitles, but also without the English dub. He just watched it in Japanese. Sometimes I like doing that with animated stuff

where it's sort of like, I was trying to gauge the expressiveness. Instead of just sort of, how was trying to gauge the expressiveness and sort of just just sort of how does this movie work just visually and sort of with the energy of the voice performances

even if I don't understand the original voice performances and I don't know for such a a weird premise of a movie like pretty easy to follow

yeah Porco Rosso is very easy yeah it's not that complicated it's plot light there's not a lot of plot it's also crazy though like he's wearing goggles the entire movie. Pretty much.

He takes them off one time. And he's got a big, bushy mustache that covers a lot of his mouth. True. Like, Porco Rosso is facially kind of stoic. Importantly, though, and you only see this a few times, he has, like, a weird buzz in the back of his head. A buzz? Yeah, it's a buzz.

He's got a little buzzed part. Yeah. Yeah. He's got the floppy front hair yeah yeah he's got like a little landing strip yeah exactly like a landing strip i don't know why this guy's so cool he's pretty cool so i was in from this is what i thought you would like i started the movie and i was like fuck this is my favorite one yeah the moment that he's asleep on the beach in his chair with the hollywood magazine over his face that was like secret secret grotto. This guy's a fucking pig. You know I love pigs too.

I don't think I knew that. I mean I didn't think you hated pigs. You got a pig thing? I have a big pig thing. I didn't eat any pig products until the last five years of my life. Because I felt such solidarity with pigs that I was like I'm not eating any

any pig derived meat. Like bacon? I started eating bacon five years ago. What did it? What got you into bacon? with pigs that I was like, I'm not eating any pig-derived meat. I started eating bacon five years ago. What did it? What got you into bacon? It's so good. So embarrassing. What could it be? I don't know.

There's an item at Costco called the chicken bake. The chicken bake? They sell it at the food stand at Costco, which, of course, is one of my favorite restaurants. It's one of your favorite places to eat, right? Yeah. Okay. It looks not dissimilar from your very popular Dunkin' Donuts bagel twist option.

It's like a bagel twist, but stuffed. It's kind of like a chicken roll from a pizza place. Cheese, Caesar dressing, chicken chicken and bacon what was it like the first time you ordered this because it's somebody who didn't eat bacon until recently what was so seductive about this item god because there were two options there's a chicken bake and I forget what the other one is

but I think I ordered the chicken bake without realizing there was bacon in it that was the thing and then I was like oh there's bacon in this and then for the first time I was, what if I don't recoil? You know? What if I keep eating this? And I liked it enough that then I started going like,

let me try getting bacon on the dish. And now I get bacon on everything. My friend Jake used to say when I was like, I'm embarrassed. I like this chicken bake thing. And I was like, he was like, of course you like it. You only like eating food dicks. Which then I realized many of the foods I

like are just big phallic hunks of food. Like, I like just like some stick of something with shit crammed inside of it. You like a stick. I like a stick. You like food dicks. Right. I like, I think I like just being able You like a stick. I like a stick. You like food. Right. I think I like just being able to

hold a stick. Yeah. It's very evocative. You're just laughing at food dicks, Ben. Yeah. Ben's like, yeah. Yeah.

But I love pigs. When I was a child, didn't have a pet. Most of the kids at school had pets. And I felt left out. I had an imaginary pet pig named Oiki, and I would tell people I had a pig. Yeah.

I have a cat named Pig. I know. That's true. That's confusing. Named after Miss Piggy. I didn't know that. I didn't know that either. Well, it was like a culmination of that that. When I brought her home the first time,

she made a mess of my apartment. She turned into a pigsty. She did all the business on herself. Then I had to try and put her in the shower. That wasn't good. She just ran around and teared everything up. This sounds funny.

This does sound funny. I wish I could watch that. Why don't you film that? Yeah. Okay. Hey, cat ownership is tough. Ben, you should pitch this to Queeby. Get Sinatra on board as a producer.

Okay. I love what Katzenberg's doing over there. The kid's like six minute thing. When Ben pitched me his crazy project, I said, Katzen, Katzenberg, it sounds like a match made in Pluto. I'm dead. Pluto, the smallest of the planets. Do you think if he was back today and he heard that Neil deGrasse Tyson made Pluto not a planet,

he'd be like, I'm going to punch that guy. I hope he would make Neil deGrasse Tyson diss tracks. You're a diss track. Do you think Sinatra would have been convinced to go full McCartney and guest on a Kanye track? You know what I mean? Collaborate. Don't you imagine he'd be the subject of lots of clickbait?

He would just give outrageous comments. Oh, yeah. He'd be like Shatner on Twitter. Yes, yes. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. He'd be like Shatner on Twitter. Yeah. Yes, yes. That's exactly it. That's exactly it. Trump tells it like it is. I don't know.

He's a New Yorker. Say what you want about the guy, but he's got brass balls. How old was he when he died? Let's find out. Sinatra, 86? 82 in 1998. Yep. I remember.

That's the sketch I remember most from when Giuliani hosted SNL. Do you remember the thing? He hosted the night that he won the election? Yes. And he, there's a sketch that's Giuliani as an old Italian mother, I think with Sherry Oteri. Wait, Giuliani cross-dressing? That sounds crazy. In New Jersey.

And the premise is that Sinatra's kind of been on his deathbed. Okay. And they're all terrified. Everyone knew Sinatra, we might lose him any day. I just remember that it's a weird cultural artifact. So Sinatra's not in it.

It's just about that. It's Giuliani as the matriarch with his two adult daughters. May Sinatra not die. Got the framed picture. It's a Frank will never die. I'm crossing myself. Yeah.

Yeah. I prefer Giuliani's early funny work. Yeah, you like that? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Right.

You know, making the Staten Island very free. Yeah. Very funny. Good bit. Good stuff. Very good bit.

Yeah. So, so this is your rather. Good stuff. Very good bit. Yeah. So... Porco Rosso. So this is your favorite. I'd rather be a pig than Giuliani voter. When did you come to this movie, Justin? It sounds like you were later in terms of getting to most of the Miyazakis. No, I saw...

It's funny. No? You were saying earlier, like, I actually didn't like a few of the Miyazaki movies that I saw when I was a kid. Mm. didn't like a few of the Miyazaki movies that I saw when I was a kid um and I I watched Totoro for the first time like several years ago and loved Totoro and so I just assumed that my takes from childhood were bad right um and yeah I would say like maybe six or seven years ago like I watched Totoro I watched Nausicaa um I i read the nalsika manga which is like much

larger and like a lot more sprawling than the movie um and i got to porco rosso maybe like two or three years ago and i wanted to fucking kick myself i had the same i i just had this sense of i don't know there's there's sort of this myth of Hayao Miyazaki of what he's like that not that many animators get. You look at Miyazaki and he's just smoking cigarettes and being extremely dark and sarcastic in interviews. And you watch Porco Rosso. And Porco is not like that. He doesn't have that weird, glib, sort of nihilistic edge that Miyazaki has. But everything else about Porco,

like the fact that he's just a guy who's working on his fucking airplane and he's smoking cigarettes, it's like, oh, this is who this is. The guy who makes these movies, this is my insight into who he is. He's a pig. Yeah, I feel like, yes,

I do feel like I get a greater sense of him watching this movie. Him as an actual person. Sure. Not what his worldview is. No, yeah. Yes, him as a person is in this, is the most in this and Wind Riser.

Yeah. Which are the most plane-y movies. Right, totally. Which is his true obsession. Right, and that thing of just like, I can't relate to you if you're not well-versed in planes. Yeah, yeah.

And it's funny because like Porco Rosso. I really just want to talk about planes. And this is around the time like, you know, Porco Rosso is adapted from, it's like they're Miyazaki manga that are actually larger and feel more manga-y. But Porco Rosso is like adapted from a 15-page manga that's just, I think Miyazaki has talked about it

and been like, yeah, just fucking in the 90s, I really loved drawing planes. And there are three different art books and manga where he's just drawing planes and he's getting insanely detailed about World War I. Like the Nausicaa manga is a big, hefty, multi-volume. Right, right, right. Whereas the Porco Rosso stuff is just,

here's some planes. Okay, this is the thing I want to read, okay? So right, he writes a manga called The Age of the Flying Boat. But the film was originally planned as a short in-flight film for Japan Airlines based on the manga, grew into a feature-length film. Yeah, which is wild. Insane. If you look at the manga, it's like you can read it in five minutes.

It's 15 pages, you read it in five minutes, and that's the movie Porco Rosso. Yeah, but it's also like if they were like, Delta Airlines hired Martin Scorsese to make their in-flight film, and he got so caught up with it, it turned out to be The Aviator. Yeah, yeah. That is the craziest origin of a film I have ever heard. He often wants to do a short film, and then it's like, oh, this is a feature. It happens to him. I just love that they're like, Miyazaki, it's really simple.

In-flight movie. Why don't you take the character from that manga? Just talk about planes for a second. It's literally just buckle the seatbelts, the oxygen bags, exit rows. And he's like, cool, cool, cool. It has expanded into a 90-minute narrative. About war. Fascism.

Fascism. Yes. And the toll it takes on men and turns them into pigs when they try to enter heaven and are rejected. As if they were like, this is a short walk, this is a bad book, it's about planes, right? And he was like, I cannot.

What if Porco Rosso still had a scene where Porco Rosso gave out safety instructions? Yeah, where Porco Rosso was like, apply your oxygen mask first before before helping others yes

that always freaked me out when I was a kid hate it yeah don't like it no don't like flying actually

I know you don't I love it you love it yeah that is crazy don't like cars have you ever been in a small like single engine plane I have I feel like I have I have I got to fly one Yeah. That is crazy. Don't like cars. Have you ever been in a small, like, single-engine plane?

I have. I feel like I have. I have. I got to fly one. Someone let me fly a plane. Who? Yeah. Let's just call the FAA right now.

My friends took away this person's license. Please tell me the statute of limitations isn't up on this horrible crime. It's my friend's irresponsible stepdad. Uh-huh. Okay. This is when you were a kid? He was irresponsible stepdad. Uh-huh. Okay. This is when you were a kid? He was like, take the stick, kid.

Yeah. Up is go and down is stop. And I- Fly me to the moon, baby. And he let me kind of just do that kind of move. I'm like gesturing where like I kind of turn the plane on its side. You did like a half barrel roll? Yeah. Fuck, Ben.

I wanted to go to space camp so bad as a kid. You did. You wanted to be a space man. And my mom was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, we're buying food, not space camp. Meanwhile, you're doing barrel rolls like a fucking Star Fox. It was great. I hate this.

Miyazaki should make a Star Fox movie. This movie is almost a Star Fox movie. Yeah. And it has a pig man flying. Especially like the last 20 minutes of this movie. Very, very, you know, Slippy get back here. Slippy get back here. Do a barrel roll. I should Very, very, you know, Slippy get back here. Slippy get back here. Do a barrel roll.

I should mention though, having to eject. Hey Fox, I'm on your side. The plane crashing, that was unfortunate. For you? Yeah. Oh boy.

I don't think I told this story on a podcast before. Okay. I went to space camp. Wow. No, you fucking went to, I went to space camp. I went to,

what'd you do? I went to Florida. Ugh. Okay. I had this brochure. You went to... Which one? I went to Florida. I had this brochure. You went to the place where I had the brochure for... I hate this. But here's the story. It's a somewhat traumatic experience for me. One of the centerpiece attractions is...

There's the gyroscope, which everyone watches from the side and goes like... That's what I think of. I'm going to be able to like that's what I think of I'm gonna be able to handle that whereas I'm like oh no I won't be attending

thank you keep the deposit everyone lasts three seconds everyone lasts three seconds right then the final thing is

when you get to do the simulation of the cockpit and they give you a binder that has a script and everyone has a role and my role was exercise expert which was such a fucking bummer.

Kind of a disastrous role for you. It was like you're on the exercise bike, and you have to keep a log of how you're fucking. How long does the simulation take? Like an hour. Okay. You're like in like a capsule. Yeah.

And it's like, oh, you're the pilot, you're the engineer, you're the exercise expert, and one person gets to do the spacewalk. Uh-huh. One person gets to go out in the arm, and that role is so much cooler than everything else. But you're not floating, right? You're on a robot. That's cool. Okay, okay, okay.

It's not like a robot arm. It's pretty analog. It's like jimbals. It's analog, but someone's maneuvering you around while you're on a rig or whatever. From my memory, uh, exercise, uh, you know, scientist is the worst fucking position. I hate it. But I was already at this point, like completely traumatized because the other big thing is

here's our zero gravity, like sort of simulation. And the way they do it is it's essentially like a rock climbing wall okay with like pulleys except the wall is just kind of like a grid it looks like the set for like rent or something right it's like a metal like

grid of bars and shit and on the pulley the other side of the pulley is on the other side of the grid and on that side is your weight in iron weights. Yeah, in pounds, right. So they weigh you before you get on it. And then you get on this thing. And because there's an equal weight, when you jump up, it feels like you're sort of zero gravity.

And you can clamp the wall and whatever. And that's their simulation of this is what it feels like to you know be able to whatever um i was a uh like a dangerously underweight kid right so they just took like you know somewhat sack lunch and put it on the other side well it was a thing where my dad was like if you get to 100 pounds i'll buy you a tamagotchi. Sure. Did you ever get that Tamagotchi? I finally got it. That was a very old statement.

Yes. You got it, but it was in 2015. Yeah. I got it for my 30th birthday. My parents finally got me a Tamagotchi. You finally hit the hundo. Right, but I was like 60 pounds, and they were like, you gotta eat more.

And they're like funneling ice cream into my mouth. Like, everyone was afraid I was gonna die. they were just like gain weight gain weight gain weight and uh i got on the scale at space camp and i was like oh my god i'm 105 pounds hey and i was like this is i can't wait to call my dad tell him get get a tamagotchi ready for me i'm coming home and i'm cracking an egg that egg exactly yeah uh and of course uh i had not miraculously gained 30 pounds just while at space camp there's ice cream their scale was broken and so they plugged me in and they let go and i shot up to the ceiling and you're in like a big like hangar and they couldn't get me down for two hours. No.

Should I not have gone to Space Camp? I cannot exaggerate. Space Camp sounds so stressful. Did you sleep over? Like you had to stay there for a few days? Yes. And I left my Elmo doll at home and it was a nightmare. I didn't know you had an Elmo doll. I had an Elmo doll. You were a big Elmo kid. I was a big Elmo kid but the other part of it was

that I would sleep on the Elmo every night. Like as a pillow. Oh, okay. Like pillow Elmo head. Justin and I just sort of shared a look. Yeah. What about pillows though? Do you ever hear about those? They're great. Yeah. They don't have like eyes and a nose. But I was so used to

that shape that when I got old enough that I was like embarrassed about the Elmo, I'd hide it in my pillow case. Pretty cute. Yeah. Griff, you were a weird kid. Me? I know this has never that shape that when I got old enough that I was embarrassed about the elbow, I'd hide it in my pillowcase. Pretty cute. Griff, you were a weird kid. Me? I know this has never been reported on on this podcast before, but you were a weird kid. But my main takeaway from Space Camp is two hours where they were like, with

a megaphone, like, the only way you're getting down is by yourself. We don't have, there's no way for us to get up there and to reach you, and there's so much weight working against you. That they were like, you have to reverse climb down the grid. I'm not sure that I like the idea of Space Camp telling me there's no way for us to, that doesn't sound right. I didn't like it either.

That's not the problem solving that I saw in a movie like First Man. I feel like the whole point is problem solving. I was like nine years old. I was like two foot one. The whole point is problem solving. I was like nine years old. I was like two foot one. I weighed 60 pounds.

And they were like, you're going to have to use your brute strength to carry your way down to the ground again. Right. No Elmo. Broken scales. Broken scale. Exercise expert. Terrible. Fucking racket.

Porco Rosso. Rosso? Rosso? I say. Rosso. Rosso. Because it rhymes. Porco Rosso. Rosso? Rosso? I say Porco Rosso. Because it rhymes. He's the red pig. The crimson pig. He's the crimson pig. Do you like that typewriter intro in all the languages? Love it. It's pretty good.

That's the thing. Like right away I was like, this is kind of funny. You know, I was like, I'm jamming on this movie. This movie's, this movie's having a laugh. It's playing with the form a little bit. He's World War I fighter ace. He is. He's a freelance bounty hunter.

Yeah. He's Griffin's best friend. He's one of my best friends. He chills out in a cove. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He loves old Hollywood. Sure.

But he pushes people away. Yeah, because he's a pig. He's a disgusting pig. All middle-aged men are pigs, as he tells us late in the movie. Uh-huh. Yeah, because he's a pig. He's a disgusting pig. All middle-aged men are pigs, as he tells us late in the movie. That's why he's a pig. It's either that or that heaven maybe rejected him and turned him into a pig. Right.

Right? Sort of like 50 of one, 50 of the other. Right? Yeah. But also, war makes pigs of us all. I mean, I like this thing that it's like, he's the best at doing a thing that's inherently kind of fucked up. They're like, what a hero.

He shoots people out of the sky. He's like, I'm this disgusting pig. As you said, he shoots children in the beginning of it. The movie opens with him. It's so heroic and it's this Bond style like, everything's happening. He's shooting at children.

What a dancing rogue. Unintentionally, but he's shooting at children. What a dancing rogue. Not intentionally, but he's shooting at children. Yes. Well, there are these air pirates. Yeah. They got big beards and big teeth. You gotta take them down.

I love the pirates. The pirates are so good. The pirates are so great. They're so much fun. Oh, what? Opening with a bunch of pirates kidnapping a bunch of stuff like young girls.

Why? That's good. It's good. But that's the thing. There's no point asking Why? That's good. It's good. But that's the thing, there's no point asking why. That's the beauty of this movie. But I love the girls being like, oh my God,

look, they're pirates. The pirates being like, take us seriously. And then you cut to them like five minutes later and the kids are jumping around and they're like, we shouldn't have taken

all the kids. Too many kids. We could have proven the same point with like two kids. This is like a handful now. And so Porco's so good that the pirates hire

this asshole called Curtis to, I don't know, help them fight Porco. Who's like Ronald Reagan combined with like Douglas Fairbanks.

He's American and they're in Italy and he's just played by Cary Elwes in the dub which is funny because he was a Robin Hood parody at one point. Right, but then Cary Elwes in the dub, which is funny because he was a Robin Hood parody at one point.

Right. But then Cary Elwes also plays... He's in a ton of these, right? Just like David Ogden Stiers. He became one of those guys. I'll just do your dubs, whatever. Which is funny. He's the cat in Whispers of the Heart

and The Cat Returns, I believe. I love The Cat Returns. I haven't watched it. Oh my God, The Cat Returns. The only Ghiblis I've never seen. Cat Returns is fucking fire. The cat's back in this one? Does he return?

In Porco Rosso? No. No, we're talking about Cat Returns. Just be stupid. Yeah, he's done, you're right, he's done three Ghibli dubs. David Agonstaris,

who plays Mr. Piccolo in the dub here, I feel like he's done multiple Ghibli dubs. Well, he also, he was like Cogsworth, and he's... Yes. Right? I mean, he did so many... David Agon Stiers?

Yeah. He's also Jumba in Only Loans. Yes, yes. And he's Komaji in Spirited Away. And he's the dad in Better Off Dead. Justin, I feel like... Well, no, I guess you gave your Miyazaki his personality,

but do you have anything else you want to say about Miyazaki before we do? Like, when did you get into Miyazaki? Well, I would say in the past 10 years. Anime for you? Or were you already into anime?

Well, to Griffin's earlier point about your relationship to Japanese animation maybe being contingent on your relationship to Japanese animation maybe being contingent on your feelings about Western animation. I feel like it gets even more complicated because Japanese film animation is so different from Japanese TV animation. Very true.

Japanese film animation I've been able to access much easier. The distribution is totally different. And as somebody who my highest loyalty in animation is to Japanese TV animation, I think that accounts for why I used to have a lot of trouble with Miyazaki movies

and I was just sort of like, I don't get it. Was that the case from a young age too? Did you get into anime early? Yeah, yeah. The first anime I ever watched was Sailor Moon, which I fucking love. And I didn't get into the Miyazaki movie. I didn't really start getting into Miyazaki until like,

yeah, I'd say age like 14 maybe. And it's just so tonally different. And I also think the way that Miyazaki movies used to be marketed in the U.S. was so strange. They were very, I felt like they were marketed with this very self-conscious prestiginess to them. And I don't think that's a good way to approach those movies. Yeah, that they're these special objects.

Yeah, like here. Haya don't think that's a good way to approach this movie. Special objects like here. Hayao Miyazaki's latest artwork. I think in retrospect that is not the way to approach this movie. It is fascinating that in Japan

he is of course the most mainstream. He is like the equivalent of a blockbuster filmmaker. I think he has four of the top ten highest grossing films

in the history of Japan. Don't pull the list up because I want to quiz you on them at some point in the podcast. You want to quiz me? I want to do a reverse box office game with the top 10 highest grossing films in the history of Japan. Don't pull the list up because I want to quiz you on them at some point in the podcast. You want to quiz me? I want to do a reverse box office game with the top 10 Japanese films because I looked them up last night and it's a pretty fascinating list. Oh, do you have

the list? Okay. I'll do it at some point. Maybe in this episode if we don't have box office results for Garoso which feels like we won't. I mean, once again we have like a you know, 2018 re-release. Yeah, okay. So I might do that at the end of the do that I'll call my shot but Sailor Moon was sort of your entryway

in yeah and like Japanese TV animation right and so I think for a long I would say really only in the past 10 years have I really tried to get more into Japanese film animation what are your like your top TV shows what are your i'd say ava it's a the original

sailor moon okay um huh i mean you know i think i like a lot of the mainstream shit like like cowboy bebop i guess um i like some of the more trollyy... I like some 2000s stuff. I think that's when TV anime gets weird. It gets very, like... I don't want to say fetish-y, but it's sort of like the anime industry at that point. Yeah, it's like Haruhi Suzumiya I really like because that is like the ultimate sort of like troll show.

Right over the head. When you say troll show, you mean they're trolling or it's about trolls? No, like they're trolling. Did Richard about trolls? No, they're trolling. Did Richard Lawson have any role? I'm asking. No, Haro Suzumiya is a show that is trolling. Okay. Down to the level of which order you should ideally watch the episodes in.

That level? It is a very fascinatingly constructed show that goes off the rails in its second season. But it's a great... It's like one of my favorite TV experiments is that show. It's like from 2006. So you get into Miyazaki. Yeah. You see some Miyazaki movie.

I don't know what you saw first. Totoro. Spirited Away. Spirited Away. Mononoke. When do you come to Mr. Pick? You know? When does Porco

first show his face to you? I think like three years ago? Yeah. Okay. The first time I saw it was at Metrograph. And you were like gripping and you kind of latched onto it

and you were like this is the Miyazaki I've been looking for. Yeah, yes. I felt like I felt upset with myself that it had taken me so long to get to Porco Rosso. Right, right. I remember seeing the Porco Rosso poster at some point,

because I feel like this is one of the ones that is least discussed in his oeuvre. Well, I think for a long time it was, if you were talking to someone about which Miyazaki, they'd be like, Porco Rosso, that's a weird one, and it's more for grown-ups. It also is a movie that doesn't really fare well if the test is like, if you liked X Miyazaki movie, the Y is never going to be,

if you liked Totoro, watch Porco Rosso. I just feel like I didn't know it existed for a long time, and then when it finally hit my radar, when I saw the DVD cover at Best Buy or something, and I was like this is a miyazaki movie a pig no one talks about it and he a pig i was like yeah oink oink right but i was like is do i not know about this because this is the bad one or do i not know about this because everyone else is dumb and this is the best movie ever it's the weird one i think that's best way. I think it grossed less than some of his biggest hits in Japan. Like, it was not quite...

I think it sold it fine. Yeah. But it was not quite the sensation, maybe, that, you know, Totoro had been. It did very well in Europe. Well, it's set in Europe. I know. It did well there.

It also feels... I mean, I think Porco Rosso is a little... It can feel a little discordant, even, because so many other Miyazaki movies can feel like they're made by a guy who doesn't really like the future or the present. And it's sort of like human innovation. Has it ruined everything? Yeah. Meanwhile, Porco Rosso is about a guy working on his plane.

It's all these loving shots of equipment. Yes. And it just feels very, very different from watching. You watch Nausicaa and then you watch Porco Rosso and it feels like two completely different world views are making these movies. Even though I don't think, I think on closer reading, they're not incompatible.

Yes. But it just, at first glance, something about Porco Rosso feels like there are elements that aren't revealed in the other Miyazaki movies. Sure. Well, we started digging into this,

but I love that the movie starts with a nap and then goes like a speeding bullet. Right. It starts with a little quiet nap and then it's immediately straight into the action. Comedy, action, thrills. You know what I'm saying? But you're right.

They're like... Gunfire. Like a Disney movie even would probably be like, we're starting with this very melancholic sort of like, here's Porco. He napping. Probably not. Probably you would start in the air.

But then you do this without any table setting. Without any table setting. We know he's a pig. I'm saying it's like 15 minutes before he shows up at the restaurant. But it's zero we know he's a pig. I'm saying it's like 15 minutes before he shows up at the restaurant. It's zero minutes before he's a pig. It's zero minutes before he's a pig. And he shows up at the restaurant.

You got Curtis there. You got Gina there. Who plays Gina in the American film? Susan Egan, classic voice actress. Oh, interesting. You know, she's Belle. Yes. From Beauty and the Beast. Yes, yes, yes, classic voice actress. Oh, interesting. You know, she's Belle. Yes. Yeah, yes. From Beauty and the Beast.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. According to you, worst movie in the movie list? Yep. You can't shame me. I stand by that. And Gina, like Curtis is trying to like hit on Gina and is like,

you know, what's up with you? I love you. And she's like, sorry, I'm into the pig. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Steer clear. I'm pig.

I'm pigged up. Yeah. But but I love that. It's like Porco genuinely, as we get to later in the movie, has not ever considered that anyone would like him. That's fair. Right. Yeah. He's kind of like I'm a lost soul.

Right. I was like, OK, I get what kind of movie this is. This is the like, honey, you don't want to know me. You don't want to be with me. I'm protecting you. But instead it's like, I'm a fucking pig. Wait, she likes me? Yeah, like even at the end of the movie when the guy's like,

what do you mean? We're fighting. She wants you, not me. This is what I'm mostly mad about. And he's like, you're lying. He's so stunned that the guy gets an opportunity to clear cock him. I think we've talked up the melancholic elements of the movie, but I think it's important that the character, Porco himself,

is actually kind of carefree. I don't know. He's just sitting around drinking wine on a beach. He's kind of got that vibe of like, look, I brushed the face of death, and I'm still here. So it's all extra time. I think he's a little nihilistic. And also we're in Italy.

And also we're in Italy, so the pasta's good. I think he's a little nihilistic and a little we're in Italy, so, you know. And also we're in Italy, so the pasta's good. I think he's a little nihilistic and a little hedonistic in terms of like, I'm doing me. What's the worst thing you can do to me? I'm already a fucking pig.

Well, that's the thing. If I'm a pig, I'm like, I'm gonna eat 24-7. It's like, I'm a pig. I'm not gonna really worry about how I look anymore.

I look like a pig. He's got a great body shape. He does. And I love the way he outfits himself. His mustache is great, too, compared to Curtis' mustache which sucks.

Curtis' mustache is the best signifier that he's like a weak chin dildo. And like Porco's mustache even when you see human and you're like

oh it was just the same mustache. How is Gina supposed to look at Curtis' mustache at any point? Right, exactly. No thank you. Curtis. Yeah.

Sucks. I'm trying to think of a plot here. Wants to be a Hollywood movie star and also be president. Oh, here we go. Here, actually, you know, let me read you a Miyazaki quote. I got my book. Right? Right?

Okay. Oh, David's taking out a leather-bound volume. It would be great. There's like a green smoke rising from the pages. This is your new bit. Crest is glowing, which is a line holding us. Right.

It would be great if like Porco, I could sit around and smoke cigarettes while watching some young kid and making comments like staying up late all the time will shorten your life or it'll be bad for your complexion. Laughs. Of course, reality doesn't work that way. It'd be pretty tough to live the way the characters in this film do. The staff members who worked on Porco Rosso had to burn the midnight oil all the time,

and some didn't even get to rest on a Sunday. There are a lot of reasons for this, and it's an area where I need to make improvements. Seth, I love you! Here's the part that I want to get to. But I personally enjoy it when I become so absorbed in something that I completely forget about myself that's kind of sweet I know

but like I feel like that is the Miyazaki vibe where everyone else is like we have to please Mr. Miyazaki I will draw until my hands are bones

and he's just like sitting there and he's like oh I pooped in my pants again because I just love this movie so much like I forgot that I'm a human being

right everyone else is like working overtime and crunching and Miyazaki is like I'm trying to work so hard that I forget who I am. That I become one with the work. Yeah.

I relate to that. So I like that Miyazaki is like I get that you see I want to forget about myself. I get that you see me in Porco. I see me in Porco. I do. But at the same time when I'm making these movies I am not me. I am the movie. Like, you know, me exits my body

or whatever. I love that. Love Porco. Trying to see what else he says about Porco. Is there anything about Pig My Cat in there? Does he say anything about that? No, he doesn't mention. He's talking a lot about warfare.

New national treasure and it's pitch I've been throwing around New national treasure And it's about my cat You mean like Nicolas Cage is like We've gotta find Ben's cat Cause it's a national treasure She is a national treasure I can't disagree with that You disagree with that?

No I can't Airtight Lodge He talks about how as he's making this movie suddenly the world order collapses the Soviet Union goes away there's war in the Balkan states which is where this is set and he felt very conflicted about

why am I making this flippant war movie set in a place where there's actual war so I feel like he tried to make the movie a little darker as a result. A little more of what you're talking about. The kind of like it does make animals of us. It is kind of like this unforgettable sin.

At the best, you become a glorious animal. You become like a majestic predator. Not that pigs are predators, but you know what I'm saying. No, they just eat. That's why I like saying. They eat. But they are smart piggies. That's the other reason why I like them.

They are smart creatures, I think. They're very smart. Why don't you ever get a teacup pig pet? I do it now. What is a teacup pig? It's a supposedly small pig that's cute, but then they do grow up and they are large creatures. You can treat them like a dog. You can train a pig. pig that's cute, but then they do grow up and they are a large creature. What do you do?

You can treat them like a dog. You can train a pig. You can like... You did? Clooney famously had a pig. Pigs are right up there with dolphins. It's the smartest. Quite intelligent. It's illegal in New York City to own a pig. Yeah, but that's just bullshit. It's illegal to own

all kinds of things in New York City that people own. My roommate had a snake for seven years. It was totally illegal. But like, who's going to come? Snakes are illegal? Yeah, but who's going to come? De Blasio's out of town, too. And police?

Yeah, it's like De Blasio's not going to... No, you're right. The only one they care about is ferrets. You know, the Giuliani. Ferrets, they're cheap. Giuliani hates the ferrets. Yeah. Get a pig.

Get a pig. No, but I also feel like if you have a pig, you want to be able to take it outdoors. Yeah, I mean, you'd probably prefer to live in nature. Well, they're never

going to check my snake like fucking case. It was pretty big. Let me tell you. I remember I stayed in his bedroom one time. Wait, was the snake there when you stayed in that bedroom?

I think it was. Yeah. Your old roommate learned it. That's right. Learned foot. A learned man. Yeah. He was a Learned. That's right. Learned foot. A learned man. He was a learned man. He had a snake.

I remember. And I remember I asked him once, why do you have a pet snake? It was a big, it was like a large boa constrictor. And he was like, when I come in the room, he doesn't even know who I am. That was Learned's vibe. I remember Learned's bedroom was just books and a snake.

Correct. He wanted to have like a- Like the largest library I've ever seen in one room. Yes. He wanted to have a Beauty and the Beast style experience. So he tried to turn his room into all these like bookcase sort of shelving corridors. That is exactly what it was. It was just like big, like hardcover books.

Yeah. He very deeply connected to Belle, like, you know, gliding along on the ladder, you know. Right. Where is he now? Texas. Doing what? A PhD in, like, science fiction at Rice University. Wow.

I know. Pretty cool. So it's Learned Corner. Yeah. Learned a foot. Anyone? Shout out. He's the only person with that name.

So if you heard that name, you know him. So we end up at gina's restaurant yeah and uh i'm trying to think the key things we established in this scene um well gina loves porco right that's it i don't know he goes to talking about the curse this is the first time we we start to talk about the curse. They talk about the curse. That he was once a man. Curtis shoots him down, right? Because he's got the engine trouble. Curtis is like, I got him.

He's dead. Well, that's after this. I guess that's, but that's right after this. Yeah, right? There's nothing else here. There's a rivalry. I just like, I like Genius Restaurant. I like this, like the movie stepping into this, like Casablanca.

Yeah, that's the thing that's established is how European this is. It is quite European. That's what I want to talk about. Most Miyazaki movies have like a setting where you're like, I could watch like a 200 episode TV show about this place. Right. Yeah. You know, about Gina's cool fucking restaurant.

Yes. About the Spirited Away bathhouse. I don't know. Whatever. Right. You know, like there's some cool place. Yes. I want to live here.

He's very good at making you want to be in an environment that he's created. I would say. I think the other thing that's established by the beginning, too, is that everybody just has a plane. Like there's so many scenes where people just sort of run into each other in the air like it's traffic. Yes. And they're just having conversations. Yeah. This is.

That's how people interact in this movie. They're flying planes. Kind of world. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to flying planes kind of world yeah um yeah uh wanted to see planes oh yeah there's that place late that part late when um what's your pants the the younger one um yeah yeah yeah is like uh you know come on you guys are seaplane pilots you gotta behave like seaplane pilots i You got to behave like seaplane pilots. I'm like, the honor among seaplane pilots. She says seaplane pilots a lot. I was like, I guess seaplane pilots have their own code.

We all know that. The camaraderie of seaplane. They're like sea air cowboys, right? Yes, exactly. But I think to Miyazaki, right, there's that, the freedom of the air and the open ocean. But then also, you open those planes up, there's mechanics. There's metal. There's that, the freedom of the air and the open ocean. But then also, you open those planes up. There's mechanics.

There's metal. There's fiddling. There's so much fiddling. There's like grease. There's, you know, hard work. There's like craft and care. He loves planes like he loves animation, where he's like working on something intricately, you know,

and you have to get exactly right. But he hides the, it's just weird, that contrast between the machinery versus nature in this movie whereas all the other Miyazaki movies feel like they hide the machinery like all of the sort of metaphor of like machinery and the effort that goes into making those movies feels like

that effort is so well hidden in something like Princess Mononoke you're saying the other movies don't get into the guts in the same kind of way yeah this movie has guts yeah it has like the inner workings of things. And I feel like even when Curtis shoots him out of the sky, there's always a moment in a Miyazaki movie where something is just so animated in such extreme detail.

The thing you can tell he spent eight months on alone. And for this movie, it feels like that is when the plane gets shot down and you just see it fall apart, all the pieces strip off and you're like seeing a plane get deconstructed in the sky in real time. But then you also think

of the people at Studio Ghibli who had to like animate all of that and you're like, man, these people probably sucked. When he goes to Piccolo and Piccolo is showing him the engine and he's like revved it to like,

and he's like, they're both like, yeah, in the shed, in the shed and he's like revved it to like and he's like they're both in the shed and he's like yelling I'm like this is Miyazaki. This is him. Detailing the shot where they're testing

the engine in the shed and every single panel has these very precise movements as it's blowing in the wind and you're like it must have taken like three years

to animate that one 30 second bit of animation. I mean it's like the wood buckling in Castle in the Sky. Oh, I love that. He's very good at that. There's always this kind of thing where it's like

something falls apart and you see... Yes. Well, hand-drawn animation is over, though, so it isn't... That's true, but on the other hand, photorealistic keyframe CGI gives us the opportunity to see what a real lion would be like. I just can't wait to be here.

Can I give you my secret hope right now? Sure. There's a part of me that thinks that Netflix is going to start announcing. They're going to be like, we have an animated studio. Right. They have one. Right, right. But like, it'll be, we're going to do Disney shows.

They have been very vague about what they're doing, but the person they hired to run it is Glen Keane. Oh, sure. Right, right. But like it'll be we're going to do Disney shit. They have been very vague about what they're doing but the person they hired to run it is Glen Keane. Oh, sure. Right. A legend. And they released a video because you know Netflix has all these like different Twitter accounts and different YouTube channels for different like genres or subsections of what they do.

Sure. Like Netflix. Right. Netflix is a joke and right. Right. All that sort of stuff. Right. They did a video for their animation channel that was talking about what Netflix wants to do for animation, how they want to be their own animation powerhouse. It's a lot of Glen Keane talking and other people talking about the qualities they want to bring. It's a lot of videos of people drawing.

And obviously, even if you're doing CGI or whatever, you still have to do the sort of basic drafting, you know, of... Is the drawing like character modeling? That's what's unclear. I mean, this is really like a video that's not going into details, and I don't remember if they've announced anything. But I kind of believe that, like,

Netflix, as they are trying to, like, disrupt the industry by doing the things that other people aren't doing, making films about the types of people that aren't being made or the genres that other people aren't doing, making films about the types of people that aren't being made or the genres that are sort of dormant, like the romantic comedy or whatever, that they're going to be like,

here's our slate. We're doing four hand-drawn animated films. I think they're not announcing them because it takes years, and Netflix likes announcing everything very shortly before it comes out. And they have the Selick movie, which is supposed to come out next year.

I think they're going to start announcing a bunch of classically hand-drawn films. If they're smart, that's what they do. At a time where every other studio is like, we're done, and you're feeling more and more of a push from the, I don't know, the intellectual community.

Yeah. You know? You can't let this die. And that's also this weird thing that Netflix has done, where don't know, the intellectual community. Yeah. You know? You can't let this die. And that's also this weird thing that Netflix has done where it's like, we're going to gain legitimacy by going to the most sort of artistic sort of... That's always been their move, right? Right.

Much like Amazon. The corners that are seen as uncommercial. Right. Is CG animation, 3D animation in Japan, like, is that taking off at all like Pixar style you know I guess it's more expensive

yeah well that's the thing I don't quite get about it in the US it just seems like transitioning from the era I guess it's one thing to have digital like 2D animation but yeah I think the weird historical trajectory toward the most expensive possible animation seems counterintuitive to me. I don't quite get it.

I'll say this. It is easier and cheaper to make bad CGI. It is also harder and more expensive to make good CGI. Yeah, yeah. Right. You can make the Crayon movie. Or Norm of the North or any of these bullshit things

where you're like, what is this? Like, if you have two sets and your animation, your performances are bad, you can make a shitty computer animated film faster than a hand-drawn film because you don't have to draw

every single frame. Sure. You have models that you can just sort of reuse in a sloppy way. Right. But to do it well You need a big

big lot of infrastructure a lot of people Right. Is insane because there are all these different departments that don't exist otherwise. Okay.

The texturing departments and your lighting departments You gotta texture. You gotta texture. Things. But every other country has I feel like moved to CG. I mean like i i was in

barcelona recently and there was so much cgi shit in spain anytime we were turning on the tv i was surprised by the amount of like completely native uh spanish cartoon shows or trailers for spanish like this is the third in this franchise of beloved CGI, Spanish CGI movies. I keep saying CGI. CGI. But I feel like at least what carries over here in any way, you don't really see Japanese CGI. Yeah.

I mean, I think Japan's, I think the way that anime has adapted to like digital 2D animation is just more graceful than the way other countries have adapted to 3D post-VeggieTales animation. I just don't know. Because I think China even has more CGI animation now. Yeah, I believe it. Japan seems to have stayed pretty strong. Obviously, these movies are still popular in China as well.

Right. That crossover. Yes. All right. He got shut down. Yeah. He pretends he's dead. He right. He gets shot down. Yeah. He pretends he's dead. He's sort of like, fine.

You think you killed me? That's great. I can lie low. And also, I'll let Curtis sell the legend. Right. He's going to brag to everyone that he killed me, which gives me some time to lay low. Because Porco... It's the Harvey Dent thing.

It's the Harvey Dent arc. Right. Porco is a wanted man. If they know some of these shores that he's washing up on, they're going's the Harvey Dent arc. Right. Yeah. Porco is a wanted man. If they know some of these shores that he's washing up on, they're going to apprehend him immediately. Right. So better for him to let everyone believe that he's dead. Right.

And then not much happens until the end. He needs to regroup, right? He's just like hanging with Piccolo. He at least needs to fix the plane. Yeah, excuse me. He meets a great friend. No, he meets great people. He's less saying hello because he doesn't have a plane.

Right. The action is now basically, until the final duel, not a lot of action. But this is the thing I like about this movie. It's not a long movie. Once Theo gets introduced, I was like, oh, this movie's also kind of a true grit narrative. She's Haley Steinfeld. And even the way it ends with the narration, which we'll get to, Billy Steinfeld.

And even the way it ends with the narration, which we'll get to, it is this thing of like, this is this man who was very tough to break through to, who taught her a lot of lessons, who she taught a lot, and they were just together for this brief period of time that changed the rest of her life. Right, right, right. And she reminded him that he's not just a cursed big man as well. Right? Yeah. You know what?

She kind of drew that out of him. Yeah. I don't know. I think they're really nice friends. And I also, I just like any story where someone has to prove that they know what they're talking about like this. Sure. You know, that he comes in, he's like, where are your sons? Who's this fucking little girl?

He's a little retrograde. Yeah. Yeah, but it is funny how like the beginning, it's like the earliest minutes and the latest minutes of the movie are very action-y. Like you said, after he gets shot down, it's all of these scenes where he's like, he's riding the train.

He has to get the plane to the shop. Him sitting on the train is pretty great. That's the thing. It's like all of the, I think all of that. He's just like, fine, has to get the plane to the shop. Him sitting on the train is pretty great. That's the thing. It's like all of the, I think all of that. He's just like, find him dead, who cares? All of the stuff that's him dealing with the fact that his plane is fucked up. These scenes, it's like, I mentioned earlier, I'm from Richmond. And I think a lot about my own childhood watching this movie because I grew up outside of Richmond.

And my dad used to drag race. Oh, really? And he used to just work on his car all the time. Sure. And it's just sort of like the middle part of Porco Rosso is totally the vibe of just like observing people who are really into their cars. Yeah. You know,

and like drag racing, I imagine it's like your engine is what's most important. Cause like the car is not going to, you don't need a Cam Well, my dad has a, you know, a CTA Camaro. It's very nice blue. Nice paint job.

But, but it's the, you know, when I was a kid, I didn't get it at all because I fucking hated cars because they were super loud. Like,

you know, driving, like racing is super loud. I hated how loud it was. I hated it when I was a kid too. It was, yeah, too loud.

The culture of it, I didn't get, but then I watch a movie like this and I think because of how meticulously all of it's animated, especially all of the sequences where Fio and all of the women and Porco are working on the plane and they're sort of animating this sense of assembly, it's like, oh, I kind of get this.

Well, I think that's the thing. That's Miyazaki putting himself into the thing. It's like, when you find a field where you can become obsessed, commit the rest of your life to having a complete understanding of this thing and a complete mastery of this thing,

and when you're in it, even though it's difficult, you enter this flow state. Yeah, yeah. You achieve this state of zen. Right. Which, you know, it's like people who race, they talk about that.

Anyone who has any sort of passion for anything that seems dangerous. When you watch Free Solo and you're like, why the fuck would he do this? And he's like, this is the one time I feel calm. You know? I think, as you're saying, this midsection of the movie is like, this is a guy who doesn't really know what to do with himself when he's not in a dog fight. As much as Gina is like, why won't you accept that?

Even though he's so cool. Right. Yeah. He can live a different kind of life. You know you're cool, right? And he's like, me? What do you mean I'm a pig? Where's the fuck out of a trench coat?

I mean, him just there on the phone, on the pay phone. God, yeah. Also, that old-timey phone. I loved it. Old-timey stuff. Very cool. Very old-timey. But that's right.

He's a guy where he's just like, this is the one thing I understand. Teo comes in and he's like, you better not fuck this up. I've been working with the same people forever. I know Piccolo. I know his sons. I can't take a risk on a grandchild. You know? Because I need to get back up in the air. And can't take a risk on a grandchild. You know? Because I need to get back up in the air.

And she's like, you're a sexist and I totally know what I'm doing. And also, I'm precocious. She's very, she almost feels like when she's introduced, her energy just in terms of her animation feels so different from all the other characters. She sort of moves more fluidly. It's like, what's going on here?

I'm going to work on the plane. Shut the fuck up. I got this. Well, also, yeah, because everyone else is in this sort of like classic Hollywood, dare I say it, because it's been on the bench for a while, patina. You know, everyone else is giving these performances. Patina engine crackles to life. Everyone else is giving these performances that could have been done by any classic 1940s Hollywood star. Right. And then she comes in

and she's giving like specifically like 80s, 90s movie energy. She's a thoroughly modern character. Yeah, she's so modern. Otherwise, yes, a little classical. Love that. That's true. That's true. And she's also just a classic Miyazaki plucky

heroine. Yeah. Where you're kind of like, oh, he made a movie about boys, and then she shows up and you're like, okay, alright. But that archetype doesn't exist in the type of movie that he is sort of referencing and using as a mood board. No, absolutely not. It's also in this strict, a boy version

of it might, like a sort of like, you know, hey mister, you know, like that kind of kid. It's also usually more of like a ragamuffin, you yeah a little ragamuffin right but it's i think it's it's also this contrast with porco as a character because it's like porco has two different pairs of glasses and he wears these trench coats and he's sort of you know he's nice but he's sort of um closed off in a way and then you have Fio show up and her facial, like her eyes and specifically her eyebrows

have this very distinct expressiveness and so whenever they're in scenes together, it just plays up that contrast of like the kind of performance

that Porco is giving versus what energy Fio is channeling. Eyes are the window to the soul. Animators are like, that Eyes are the window to the soul. Animators are like, that's the whole key to the thing. It's one of the reasons why Lion King fucking sucks. Yeah.

The favorite Lion King. And they make this conscious decision that it's like, this guy's eyes are always going to be covered. Yeah. You know? Not because we're trying to handicap this character's expressiveness, because this is a character who doesn't want anyone to see into his soul. He's trying to keep all his emotions

close to the chest. And then, but then like when you've reached a point with him, where you're, you see his human face for a second. What?

Right, right. And then he turns around and it's the pig again. Yeah. I prefer the pig. He looks great. He looks great, yeah. He looks fucking awesome.

Pretty great pig. Very handsome pig. Yeah. Great style. If he wanted to be in some Harle Hollywood movie, just the pic. Yeah. Like, I'd be into it.

You know what I mean? Just him flashing the thumbs up, you know, with the pig face. And it's just... Scarf. Iconic. Love all of it. He's a pic.

That's what we should do with photorealistic technology. Make people look like pig men. Not to keep on hitting on this, like the fucking photoreal thing, but it's like... No, hit on it. make people look like pig men. Not to keep on hitting on this, like, the fucking photoreal thing, but it's like... No, hit on it. I feel like this is... That's the Miyazaki thing, though, right? It's such a good testament.

It's like one thing to accept that we don't do hand-drawn animation anymore, but I do think that Miyazaki is one of the people who's going to make the strongest historical case for, listen, animation is a distinct thing and realism is sort of an opponent of the stuff you're trying to accomplish

in animated cinema. Right. I just feel like, and this gets back to the Cats trailer as well, but it's like this thing of like, if you're going to use CGI, use it to make things that are like against the laws of nature. That could not exist. Right. Like tinted. And put them in. Do things with the camera that are not possible. Things like that. nature. Yeah. That could not exist. Right, right. It's like tinted. And put them in.

Do things with the camera that are not possible, things like that. Right, right. Stylize people's faces in a way that doesn't make sense. Or like, they should never make

a live action Porco Rosso. But if they did, it's not like I'm against the concept of Porco Rosso being photo real because that would be in juxtaposition to real human beings

in front of a camera. Right. Right. Porco Rosso. It's perfect. Now he's been saying for a long time that he was going to make a sequel. Did he? And they wrote a script and then, let me get this excerpt. Yes, I'll find it.

I'll find it. Okay. He wrote a script, Porco Rosso, the last sortie, that would be set during the Spanish Civil War. So Porco would be much older. Miyazaki was like, it'll be about me being old. That's my angle.

And he wanted Hiroshima Yonabashi, the guy who made The Secret World of Arrietty and when Marnie was there. He was saying he wasn't going to direct it. I imagine he would ultimately. And now that Ghibli's fallen apart, who knows? But now it's sort of back together again.

Well, but that guy went off to create Studio Ponok, which is sort of like trying to rise from the ashes of Ghibli. He made Marianne the Witch's Flower. What? No, sure, I don't know. It's one of those things like- He's busy making whatever crazy shit he's making right now. It's one of those things like busy making whatever crazy shit he's making right now.

It's one of those things like old thing. How do you live? Old Fink. Yeah. The Coen brothers have always said like when we're older

we want to come back and do old Fink with the Turo. You're like you're not sure if that's a joke or not. Right. You're not sure if that's the best idea

or the worst idea. Yeah. If it's better leave well enough alone or if it'd be like the most triumphant thing. They seem to generally know like you know what I alone or if it'd be like the most triumphant thing they seem to generally know like you know what I mean because sometimes they'd be like yeah we're gonna do

a Jesus spinoff from Big Lebowski and then eventually it's like oh someone Totoro's kind of making that and they were clearly like yeah you know what if you want to do it that's fine like we're probably not gonna do it right which is apparently the exact same attitude they had with Fargo.

Like, people were like, this is such a big deal that like, the Coens blessed Fargo. Right. And apparently, their attitude is like,

as long as you don't step on our shit, it's fine. You can do whatever you want. Yeah, it's like, okay, yeah. Yeah.

We just don't want to do that. Right. God, Fargo's so bad. It's a good show. What do you think about Fargo? You haven't watched it. I've never watched it.

Never watched it. Season one, season two, great. I still haven't watched watched it. Season one, season two, great. Yeah, season one, season two. What season is it in? So you only hate season... They did three. That's not true. You hated season one, season two when they were on.

But three was kind of like... I was like, Jesus, the earlier ones were actually like something. I haven't seen three yet. New Queer Eye, great. Makes you cry every time. That's a good show. Ben's TV corner. Here we go.

I love Queer Eye. I love Queer Eye. I mean, good show. That's TV Corner. Here we go. I love Queer Eye. I mean, Queer Eye is trying to get the water, right? Like, that's the whole, that's their, like, mission, right? That band teacher episode lead off? I haven't watched the new ones yet. I resisted watching it for a while. I got into it once my back was injured,

and I started watching a lot of shows that I wouldn't usually watch. I resisted watching it for a while because it feels like an attack on my lifestyle. Any show where people improve themselves or others, you're like, fuck you. What do you think you're doing over there? You're saying I should wash my clothes? I feel like the good antidote to that, I think that the two Queer Eye guys who are really good antidotes to that. I think that the two the two Queer Eye guys

who are really good antidotes to that sort of concern are Karamo and Anthony because they're both kind of incompetent especially Karamo

because if you if you think for like five seconds about what Karamo's role in Queer Eye is it's like occasionally like say something about an album

that came out recently and then just sort of like drift away. Culture? Yeah. And then meanwhile, the other guy has to build a house or something. Bobby always does the most work. Yeah, it's like Bobby's building a house and Cramo's like,

did you hear the new Ariana Grande album? It's like, what the fuck is your contribution, buddy? The original career had that too. It had Jay. He'd be like, you really want a strong handshake when you walk into a room. But here's my take. He handles the sensitive conversations.

That's his role. Because everyone comes with their personal baggage, and he is always the one to sort of address it and make them feel more comfortable with it. That's my take. So in the original, the joke was like, Jay is completely pointless. He does nothing.

Like the culture lifestyle position is silly. And then like food, like Ted Allen, like that's the best one. Obviously Ted was the best of the original Fab Five. Right. There's no question. This one

Anthony is a cute boy. All he can do is really slice fruits and vegetables. Right. Isn't Anthony just like I don't know if you put like avocados in a blender that's called guacamole.

I think that's great though. Blender's a little extreme. Because you're just showing people how to sort of take a little bit of control of like their daily thing. Right. That's his stance is like

I don't want to give them things that they can't replicate. I want to give them stuff that like you can actually do. That's how you make pozole. Like what is he going to teach me to make pozole? But then the thing I think about Karamo that he's like really smart is like no what he's actually doing is he's just being a really good friend. But sometimes

he's not. Sometimes he's just like a web headline just walks into an episode of television and it's about like Big Sean or something. When he's good though he sort of like episode of television and it's about like Big Sean or something. When he's good though he sort of like burrows in and he's like He does have great moments. I do think that there are some episodes where there are

great Kramer moments. JVN is a he's a national treasure and that's what we should do a movie about is finding JVN. He's gone missing? Yeah. With Pig? Yeah. Damn. I don't know what any of you guys are talking about but I remember Ted Ted Allen he rules

remember Ted the teddy bear you mean just like a teddy bear no Ted America's favorite movie star oh no I don't we're not talking about the parsnip again do you know when you said that I was like I guess I forgot I guess it's gone he literally we're not talking about the parsnip again yeah i do you know when you said that i was

like i guess i forgot i guess it's gone it's gone out of the head it haunts me it burned in my memory every time i close my eyes i see ted fucking a woman with a parsnip yeah but the thing about the all that is like seth mcfarlane even is sort of like yeah i don't know i kind of just want to make my space my sincere star trek show now yeah. Yeah. You know, like, you know, he's like, eh, calm. I get it. Everyone was into that for a while, but I feel like now I'm just doing the Orville on Hulu.

It's just crazy how big the first head was. We talked about this on the podcast. On this podcast? Yes. Seth MacFarlane voices Curtis. That could be a good alternate casting if they do the Porco Rosas. Well, because Seth MacFarlane does have that,

like, I'm Sinatra reborn, like that vibe, right? God, that's, of all of Seth MacFarlane's vibes, many of which are bad, that's one of the worst. Like, I'm a song and dance man at heart. It's like uncanny,

or I don't know, something about it that feels like no one asked for this. Do you know what his album of standards is called? Maybe he's made several now. I forget. It's on the tip of my tongue, too. Music is Better Than Words.

Hey. I believe is the title. Hey. Damn. I think that's what it's called. God, do you know how rich he is? You're correct. Yeah.

Do you know how rich he is? Can I take a guess? Okay. 821 million. take a guess okay 821 million this says 200 million maybe seems low yeah you gave him like oprah's income i thought he had like oprah income there was someone i would have guessed higher than 200 yeah anyway well whatever he also uh made an album called Holiday for Swing. Third studio album, No One Ever Tells You. He's smoking a cigarette. Fourth album, In Full Swing.

I guess 821's a little absurd. It's pretty high. That's sort of like Spielberg number. Yeah, but he's been going hard. Maybe Fox fucked him on American Dad or something. I don't know. I don't know. We done talking about Pocahontas?

No, we gotta talk more about Pocahontas. This is another thing I like. Okay, what's another thing you like? I like that Curtis is this like Hollywood leading man type. Sure. Especially of that era. Clearly has the insecurity about the fact

that he's not actually a tough guy. Right, right. It's like this actor, action star kind of thing that goes back to like, you know, John Wayne not serving in the war. Sure, sure, sure. You know? He can't back up his, right, right, right.

Right, that like, he wants to be a movie star and be the president. He wants to have these performative roles, but he hates that Gina likes a fucking pig more than him because he actually gets his hands dirty. She's chill about it though.

Yeah. Like for the whole movie, she's like... She's incredibly chill for the entire film. Yeah, yeah. I like the pig. What can I tell you? Because you think that Porco's chill because he's drinking wine and smoking all the time, but he is overcommitting.

Gina just gives no fucks through this entire movie. And let's talk about her beautiful dream. Go on. Curtis makes the proposal to her, and she's like, Look, I gotta be honest. I made a promise to myself. There's one man I love. And he only visits me at night at my restaurant.

But if he ever comes here and on his plane when I'm in my garden, I'll know. And I can't leave behind the chance of that happening. Pretty devastating for Curtis, honestly. Yeah. leave behind the chance of that happening. Pretty devastating for Curtis, honestly. Yeah. Where she's like, not only am I rejecting you,

but I've pinned my hopes on a pig visiting me when I'm in my garden. And then similarly devastating, he flies by. Yeah, right. Like, right when she's saying that, it's like, oh my god, here he is, here he is, here he is, here he's happening, and he's gone. Yeah, right. And I love that the movie ends on the note of, like, I'm not gonna tell you if he ever showed up. Yeah.

That's our little secret. I became friends with Gina on the note of like, I'm not going to tell you if you ever showed up. Yeah. That's our little secret. I became friends with Gina for the rest of my life. Porco and I, we kind of lost touch. I'm not going to tell you if you showed up at the garden or not. That felt very True Grit to me. When she like shows up and they're like, yeah, he just died. And then the end of True Grit is just her walking through the sanitarium. She's like, well, time comes for us all.

Yep. Credits. Masterpiece, by the way. Yeah. Underrated. People now putting it into their tops of the 2010s lists.

Not a crazy movie. It's a great movie. Have you seen True Grit? Yes. Yes. I know, Justin, that you rarely watch movies. I've seen like 13 movies

in my life. Really? Yeah. You're not a big movie watcher. Skyfall. You love Skyfall. You're more of big movie fan. Skyfall. You love Skyfall. You're more of a TV guy. No.

You like anime. Yeah, I like anime and I play video games. And you like Miltank. Oh, yeah. I have a Miltank shirt on. What is Miltank? A Pokemon. Oh, that's a Pokemon?

It's a Pokemon. It's from Gold, Silver, I think. Yeah, yeah. Second generation. It's a big cow. Okay. Yes. It's a shady video game

a shady video game? like about a shady guy? a shady guy a shitty or shady? shady it could be shitty too I'll tell you what I'll tell you

fucking the teens that play Rainbow Six Siege are shady well but that's you're talking more about the player yeah Ben doesn't want to

hate the player he wants to hate the game I don't know what you mean by a shady he wants a game about a guy who's kind of scummy and is kind of like You want like a Kane and Lynch or something.

What's like the modern day Max Payne? Oh man, Max Payne. A game where you have to virtually take pills, you know? That's what Ben wants. I don't know. What would you... Kane and Lynch is like the last thing I can think of like that.

Fuck Kane and Lynch. And it's like, Grand Theft Auto's not even like that anymore. Ben, I got an answer for you. Lego Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, shit. Okay.

A lot of scoundrels in that one. I love scoundrels. Kind of the dirtiest of the Lego games. Bunch of scallywags and scofflaws. What if they do like Lego body heat?

They start just making like full-on sex noir movies. I'd love nothing more. Lego, what's it called? The Last Seduction. I would love if they did like, you know, of course we did Lego Star Wars. We went through all of those films. We did Lego Indiana Jones. We went through all of those films.

We thought it was time we finally covered the rest of the Lawrence Kasdan. Right. Exactly right. This is Lego Kasdan. Lego Silverado. There's a Silverado level. Lego Big Chill. Big Chill.

Mumford. Lego Mumford. Lego Mumford. Lego Dreamcatcher. Lego. Ooh. Lego Longtime Companion. I would love a Lego figurine of Morgan Freeman in Dreamcatcher.

End of a shit weasel. Yeah. I don't know if you could fit the eyebrows love a Lego figurine of Morgan Freeman in Dreamcatcher. End of a shit weasel. I don't know if you could fit the eyebrows on a Lego head. No, you'd need to make the head bigger. Or toughed him out. Sure. Porco.

Before the duel, what else? He recalls his pig transformation in the Adriatic. We gotta talk about this scene. Before the duel What else He recalls his Pig transformation Yes In the Adriatic Wait we gotta talk about this scene Okay I love the ambiguity of it I'm trying to

Oh this scene Yes His explanation The flashback Yeah Human man with a beautiful mustache We love him All of his friends get shot down

Yes He's freaking out It's during World War I He goes up and up and up and up He sees his friends going up. He sees like a big band of shimmery planes in the sky. Yeah. But that's the thing.

He's kind of very like Powell and Pressburger. But he sort of blacks out for a moment. So he doesn't know if he's hallucinating, if he's died, if he's watching them go to heaven. Yeah. If he's entered some different plane. Even the part where he gets shot. Even the part where the planes are getting shot down, though,

feels like a hallucination because it doesn't feel like, it's not like it's a super straightforward, like, war scene or something like that. It almost feels like they're flying in this, like,

artistic formation. Yeah. And then the planes just start getting shot down. It's like a Buzz Lee Berkeley, like, it looks like a water number or something. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. They're all, like, diving down. Yeah, and then it just becomes a nightmare in this very weird way. Right. Right. But there is that sense that, right, he, yeah, yeah. They're all, like, diving down. And then it just becomes a nightmare in this very weird way. Right.

Right. But there is that sense that, right, he, like, glimpsed the other side, maybe, and, like, something like that happened. But also that so much

of this is tied to this sort of shame of Gina's first husband. Yes. Getting shot down, that he lived, that he was a survivor. That is part of Gina's story

where she's like, look, I fell in love with pilots, they're all dead. This guy died there, that guy died there. But what can I do? He has a survivor guilt that is almost greater than the fact, the shame over him being a pig. Right, but they're probably tied together, right?

Totally. And when he tells that story, she sees his human face for a second. Then he a pig again. And then, come on, right right doesn't Curtis show up well the plane's ready the pirates show up the plane's ready although it's like not been tested you know it's a little

it's a little way tricky well the takeoff after they first finish the plane when they're flying on the water and like Theo is built in the compartment so that she can fly in Porco's plane earlier like that's a beautiful sequence to me I love him saying you can't get my plane and like Theo is built in the compartment so that she can fly in Porco's plane earlier. Like that's a beautiful sequence to me. I love him saying,

you can't get in my plane even if your butt is small. There is a lot of butt talk at this point. A lot of butt talk. She's like, are you kidding me? My butt's so small. Like you got the best butt you ever, for planes you ever heard about. He's got a pig butt. He has a pig butt.

They have very different, right. Right, he's not one to criticize butts really. No. Yeah, he is a pig butt. He has a pig butt. They have very different, right. Right. He's not one to criticize butts, really. No. Yeah. He is a pig. Yeah. I mean, that pork

butt could go for a pretty penny. A high-end restaurant. But one of my favorite visuals in the entire movie is all of the sea

pirates, sea sky pirates coming out of the little tent on the beach. Yes. Yes. The ambush. Stuffed in like a clown car. And then they all spill out. We talked about it in Castle of the little tent on the beach. Yes, the ambush. Stuffed in like a clown car,

and then they all spill out. We talked about it in Castle of the Sky, but he's very good at large adult sons. And the pirates are, in both cases, large adult sons. Adults in Miyazaki movies are always the most fascinating thing. Because it feels like a referendum on adults

as a class of humans. He thinks they're stupid. I mean like his dad's we've talked in Totoro and like his dad's usually dweebs. Yeah. Like the dad is kind of

like hey man whatever. I think this movie gets the closest though to being like adults suck but also I don't know Porco Rosso feels like it's for once

Miyazaki trying to sell I guess kids or adults on the idea of like adults can have adventures too I guess. Right.

Because otherwise it's always kids meeting strange monsters in a forest or whatever. That's the thing I like about the Laika movies a lot. Sounds pretty fucking cool. I know I compared Miyazaki

to Laika and Laika to Miyazaki before in this miniseries but save for Missing Link which is the one I don't like. Which one? Folks he didn't like it. I don't like it. But I think I realize

one of the reasons I don't like it is that it doesn't have a child protagonist. And the Laika films are really good on that Miyazaki level of like, these adults have gotten so caught up in all this bullshit that doesn't matter, that they're sort of like oblivious to what's really going on. Yeah, Link is kind of that character in Missing Link. Yes. I guess. Like he's the closest to your's really going on. Yeah, Link is kind of that character in Missing Link. Yes. I guess. He's the closest to your child protagonist.

Right. And I don't like that he isn't the audience surrogate character. That the audience surrogate character... You don't even talk 40 minutes in. I know. Your problem is the Jacqueline character. It's terrible.

It's not great. Yeah. It's not great. It's like, what if someone was the worst? Yeah, what if someone was an asshole? Right. And you're like, is he going to learn not to be an asshole? And they're like, yeah. Like, right at the end. That's like five minutes someone was the worst yeah what if someone was an asshole right and you're like is he gonna learn

not to be an asshole and they're like yeah like right at the end right yeah yeah yeah um I didn't love that one either

I think you genuinely disliked it where I was like it's okay I hold him in such high regard it looks great looks great do you like the Laika movies

Coraline yeah I've never seen Coraline Paranorman you'd like Coraline uh I don't have a take you haven't seen Coraline. Paranorman? You'd like Coraline. I don't have a take. You haven't seen Paranorman? No.

Paranorman might show up a bunch. Name the other ones. Keep going. My best of the decade. I feel like I've seen at least one of these. Yeah, I took a swing at a decade list. I can tweak it. I'm going to take a couple swings.

With some other... Kubo? Kubo, I feel 50-50 on Kubo. Because I really loved the voice performances in Kubo I feel 50-50 on Kubo because I weirdly I really loved the voice performances in Kubo

but it sucks that there are white people yeah I still like the performances though I don't know

I like the performances I like the style something about that movie didn't totally come together for me uh huh yeah I respect it

more than I enjoyed it except for the voice performances which I thought were fun and then box trolls I assume you haven't seen you should check out Paranormal Paranormal and Fox

I've seen Skyfall, Kubo Porco Rosso Melancholia I don't know it's like 4 of my 12 movies that I've ever seen these are all good movies Lucy another masterpiece made by a sex criminal It's like four of my 12 movies that I've ever seen. These are all good movies. Lucy. Another masterpiece made by a sex criminal.

Yep. Katie just asked me for the Jackson, Lace Camera Jackson Booksmart review. I had to send it to her right away. Okay, there we go. You sent me that Brady Bunch thing. It took me like 20 minutes to realize that's the Brady Bunch house. Yes.

He's a weird guy. Lace Camera Jackson posted a video of himself walking down the street and singing Sunshine Day. And then at the end, the camera whip pants to reveal that he is in front of the house from the Brady Bunch. But it doesn't really, you're like, oh, okay. You know, like, it's like behind a wall. Yes. And it's like for sale. I just wanted to do more musical numbers.

Oh, is that what you want him to do? Yes. Of course he does his 12. What if he like moves to Info Wars? Yeah, right. It could happen. It's a short walk. Do you like Lights, Camera, Jackson?

No, but I do like the idea of Lights, Camera, Jackson moving to Info Wars. I like that. I actually really like that. I like if Lights Caber Jackson was the completely apolitical movie critic. Like Alex Jones was like, and here with another review is Lights Caber Jackson.

That's what they do. You get Lights Caber Jackson, like Anthony Fantano. You can really put a lot of... You can actually build Infowars into a modern critical powerhouse of a sort? You can do it! You can do it! It doesn't change at all. The globalists! Everyone else he

has around him is like a broadcast-y like sort of like pro. Right and he's like I give Stuber three bags of popcorn or whatever you know whatever he does. If you're looking for a fun ride in the theaters this summer you could do worse than hitching a ride with super but then like once in a while a book smart comes along where he's like

uh what it's clearly like like it's like he's trying to shift without pushing down the clutch like you know what i mean like he's like these are teenagers i don't think so. Yeah. And then he has to go, I don't know, go back to his Borg cube for a day to recharge or whatever. You're supposed to like this movie, but these teens break all the rules. Like, literally...

I say cuff them. His written review of Booksmart is like... Is this Sinatra now? What happened here? Oh, man. What if Sinatra lights to them? His review of Booksmart, his written review. It's just like him being like, teens don't behave this way.

Outrageous. They're dishonest. They don't listen to a thing their teachers tell them to do. Let me find the actual one. Did you see Booksmart? I haven't seen Booksmart. The last movie I saw with you was Power Rangers. Oh, yeah.

That shit was fire. That's a great movie. Right. Yeah, the last movie I saw at a theater had to be First Man, which I liked a lot. Wow, so you see like one movie a year. Wow. Here we go. Wow.

Here we go. Okay. The entire narrative revolves around the fact that Amy and Molly don't know the location of the night's hot party. We're supposed to believe that these two classmates, who are apparently intelligent young women, they can't find out where this huge party is.

Utterly ridiculous. Well, you know, Lice is the guy who always knows where the party's at, though. That's the thing. He's never... I was aware of every party. Right. No one ever definitely didn't tell me where a party was. I chose to abstain. The kids are, big surprise, a

stereotypical bunch of modern high school misfits. Instead of getting ready for college, this cast looks like they should be wrapping up grad school. What? He's old looking. He really did not. He gave it an F.

What's his movie of the year do we know this year I feel like I don't know his only A listed right now is for Wild Rose which is a good movie

that is a good movie love that movie did you see it yeah I loved it isn't it fucking great yeah oh my god I didn't know you saw it

I'm excited it's really good it's so good it's really good I've been listening to the soundtrack me too I didn't realize Mary Steenburgen wrote that song she wrote the fucking song mary steenburgen just woke up one day and was like i can write country music now

and wrote down a song it was famous people are weird yeah yeah she's bizarre yeah but wild rose have you seen wild rose ben this this lady okay it's a woman from glasgow who gets out of jail she gets out of jail for smuggling heroin she's a single mom woman from Glasgow who gets out of jail. She gets out of jail. For smuggling heroin. She's a single mom with two kids. She gets out of jail. She lives in Scotland in Glasgow.

She's real wild. Working as a cleaning lady but all she wants to do is get to Nashville. And sing country music. Cool. Yeah. She just wants to

fucking honky tonk. Three chords in the truth. It's so bad. And she has that kind she has that Scottish accent played by Jesse Buckley yeah and then like

when she gets on stage she sounds like Miranda Lambert you know what I mean like she just has this like incredible voice fucking one of those movies

where I went to the screening being like I don't know yeah I mean I guess this is a movie I know nothing about it and like two minutes in I was like

yep yep you got me yep I'm into this right in the corner yep uh and look encourage people to see it don't want to spoil it but the last like 20 minutes is where I went from being like this is very effective to being like this movie's really fucking smart agreed it does some

things that are not like pointedly not manipulative agreed thated. That are very, very emotionally intelligent. He didn't like the dead don't die either. Adam Driver repeatedly says the line this is going to end badly. Not only does it end badly, but it begins badly. And the middle is even worse.

I mean. Wow. He did it. Yeah, I know. You got to give him some points for some killer dunks there. Rack attacks. Yeah.

He's on fire. Kuro Rasa, come on. They have the big duel. They do have a big, they have a very prolonged, the internet is really bizarre. I think it's pretty funny. I think it's Miyazaki

making fun of men. Yeah, it's totally that, but it's so, it goes hard. It goes hard. Well, the image of them are, all their faces so, it goes hard. It goes hard. Well, the image of them are all their faces all swollen after they've been beating each other. That's what I love. The fist fight with no music.

It's like they fight in the sky. It comes back down to the ground. They're fighting on the shore. This is after they've been shamed into honorable combat by, you know, Theo being like, you're seaplane pirates. Like, you're seaplane pirates like you're seaplane whatever and then all the pirates

at this point have just given up on pirates they're just sort of wearing normal clothes and like this is crazy this is crazy these guys fighting I love how brutal

the fist fight is cause it's not like a scuffle it's like a gentleman's fist fight the moment when Theo pulls up the chair to be the corner coach

for Porco is so great. But it is like Marquis of Queensbury. I suck you in the face. And then you take a moment. You prepare your one punch. There's a real give and take, but also their faces just get so grotesque looking. There's

no music. It's just the sounds of their faces smushing. When she corner mans him it's like fucking 10 comedy points. And then what's the way that he finally gets a. He's like by the way fucking Gina likes you.

You can't have both women. Ben you're a boxer. It's true. What do you think of that? A punch in. The fighting scene. Theo's face turns red. What do you think of that? A punch in the fighting scene. The fighting is fun. I mean, they show cartoons

actually take punches, which is rare. Usually they're unaffected or they sort of like... It's like a dust cloud sort of like a skirmish. Yeah, yeah. Dust cloud skirmish. This is like real punching and bruising and swelling. I love a dust cloud skirmish is right. This is like a real, like, punching and bruising and swelling. I love a dust cloud skirmish.

And then, of course. And I love a gentleman's fight. Right. He goes red. He freezes. Gets the punch on him. Parker goes down, but it's right after the bells ring. Right, right.

Doesn't count. Gets away with it. Right. Yeah. And the water's all shallow, which I like that, too. Gina shows up in a plane just like nonchalantly

she just sort of lands in the plane she's like FYI the Italian Air Force is en route yeah they're trying to catch you Porco

trying to make some prosciutto they say that in the boxing match he's like I'm gonna turn you into prosciutto I mean hey I'd eat it

this guy you'd eat him? You'd have to kill him and then cure him. If I went to the butcher and they were like, and looked around, I got something in the back, and they pull out a platter of prosciutto, I'm like, oh, it looks nice, and they're like, pork rossi.

I'd be like, alright, sure, how much? 20 bucks a pound? Let's do it. If it was the finest looking prosciutto you've ever seen, but it had goggles and a mustache on it. So you couldn't look at it without, you can remove them both, but you have to go through the effort of removing them and thinking about who you're eating. Yeah, but the meat, because he drinks so much wine throughout the movie, it's like that

meat is going to be really rich. Oh boy. I love it. I would never eat them. It's one of my best friends. That's one of my favorite Simpsons. As a rule, I don't eat friends. Oh, he smokes, though.

So that's the other thing. It's like the wine, but then he smokes a lot. That's true. Cigars, though. Yeah, what if that's how you make a nice tasting animal? It's like you've got the farm guy who's like, I only let them smoke the finest Cubans. Like all these big smoking cigars.

It's a smoked ham. Yeah, my foie gras the goose smokes three cubans a day yeah um what was i gonna say porco rosso oh no yeah the simpsons joke that's one of my favorite late simpsons jokes is uh is homer eating the lobster that is his pet where he's like it's so good you don't remember that it's not snappy but it's something like that yeah i know i know what you're talking about uh that i think that episode's really funny pinchy You don't remember that? Snappy? It's not snappy, but it's something like that. Yeah. I know what you're talking about.

I think that episode's really funny. Pinchy. Pinchy. That's a better laugh. And remember how he kills Pinchy? No, how does it count? He gives him a hot bath. He's like, oh, he's upstairs.

I wanted to draw him a bath after a long day and Marge is like Homer and then it cuts to him like eating after a long day good guy sorry we don't do enough Simpsons jokes on this this whole podcast should just be us remembering bits from the Simpsons

Honeydew is the money melon on this. This whole podcast should just be us remembering bits from The Simpsons. People love that. Honeydew is the money melon. What if we go back to it being a podcast about how there was only ever nine seasons of The Simpsons? Oh, sure. We pretend. There's no bit to that. That's just a nice world. I know. Right. The whole point of The Phantom Menace being the only movie

is that's kind of a weird world. Yes. The Simpsons ending with season 10 is just a nice world. What God wanted. Right, exactly. What season are they on now? Well, Simpsons starts the year I'm born, so I believe they're on season 30 or 31. Season 30 just ended.

Yeah. Wow. Yeah, so 31's starting up right around the time this episode's dropping. That's insane. Wow. Okay. Cool. Too much. How many episodes are there in total? 662. Thank you for letting me guess.

Sorry. The ending is this beautiful Theo voiceover where it's like, this is her story now. She gets authorship of it. This becomes about this brief moment she had with this crazy pig man. I love that she tells us that she gets a long lasting

friendship with Gina out of it. Right because he kind of hands her over to Gina. Right. He's like you deal with this. You go with her but then she's like we've remained friends for a very long time. I took over Piccolo. Yep. What's it called? Piccolo Aviation or whatever the name of the company is. And she's like,

Gina and I had a great relationship and I'm not going to tell you what happened to Porco Rosso. He showed up when she was in the garden. This is for us to know. This is my story. I think,

the problem though, Theo's kind of papering over something which is she takes over Piccolo. They live in Italy. And then eventually World War II happens. So Theo makes a killing off of making airplanes for the Italian.

Hey, that's what The Wind Rises is about, right? Yeah, but it's just... He's like, I just love planes. I didn't realize they were going to be used to drop bombs on Pearl Harbor. What if the Porco Rosso sequel is he comes back and he's like, let's fucking... Let's kill the let's like. Let's kill the Nazis.

Right. What if it's like a vigilante, you know? Well, the sequel is Spanish Civil War though, so it's pre-World War II. Oh, okay.

But he's again fighting fascists. Yeah. I assume he's not. That's how they get off the, into Franco. I choose to believe. What if Porco has to fight Theo? What if Theo has like this airplay,

she has this empire, and Porco has to. I like this idea that it's the like this airplane? She has this empire and Porco has to. I like this idea that it's the Spanish Civil War. Justin, you dark. I like the idea that it's the Spanish Civil War and now I'm realizing what I want is to believe that all the characters died right before Hitler took power.

They all just had nice peaceful deaths. Right, they all just like leaned back in their you know, with a magazine on their face and that was it. Yeah, they all just like leaned back in their magazine on their face and that was it. Yeah, they overdosed on relaxation and contentment. Yep, that's the way to go when you're 800 years old. Can I do this box office game with the top films in Japan?

When was the release? Do you have some American box office? Oh, it's like 2018, the re-release. I mean, I have that if you want it. The numbers I assume are not... I don't know. Oh, wait, what numbers? Sorry? I mean, it came out in 92. That's its actual release it. The numbers, I assume, are not... I don't know. Oh, wait. What numbers? Sorry.

I mean, it came out in 92. That's its actual release date. I mean, if you want to guess the number one film, which is a sequel in which the character knows that he's in a movie, go right ahead.

Deadpool 2. Correct. And then, you know, number two film is, you know, a masterpiece about a big blue, a big purple man. Masterpiece about a big purple man?

It's not a masterpiece. It's a pretty good Pretty good movie Big Purple Guy Big Purple Guy Avengers Infinity War Yeah right And then number three Is a masterpiece about Reading books

It's not books A book club Book club An actual masterpiece Right Number four is a movie I've never LeBron Bergen

Get in Buckets Oh number four is A Ben Falcone LeBron Bergen, Get in Buckets oh number four is a Ben Falcone film so you know it was number one most people's year right but which one? Life of the Party? Yeah that one and then number five was what's this one again?

oh it's where Payback was a mother Peppermint? no but that kind of movie? Sure. Is it more serious? Yes. Or more comedic?

More serious. And Payback is a mother. Payback is a mother in this film. The woman getting Payback is a mother. Sure. That's the takeaway.

That's the take. Yeah. Yeah. It's like Peppermint? Yeah. An actress you really like I think do you know this movie? I really like?

yeah you know this movie? maybe not take the guess no you take no cause it's like it's the only one that I

almost saw I haven't seen any of the movies in question you almost saw this one yeah do you think I've seen it? I don't think so

but it is an actress I really like? I think so. I mentioned her name at the basketball episode, and you got really excited. Oh, this movie's bad. Oh, is it bad? Breaking In? Yeah, this movie should be great.

Right, but it's not good? It's one of the most disappointing films in the last five years. Along with that Taraji movie, you didn't like either? Proud Mary? Yeah. Both of them are just like,

this is right there. And the actresses are really locked in and the movie's a fucking mess. Breaking in directed by James McTeague. Yep. Who I sat next to at dinner once. Wow. Breaking in's a very bad film.

Okay. Okay. Top 10 highest grossing films in the history of Japan. At a point in time... Not so in general, not like animation, just in general. American and Japanese

releases. There's only one that you will not be able to get. There's one that is a Japanese film that I imagine you haven't heard of. Say it. It's number eight. It's called Bayside Shakedown 2. Sounds great, though. Ponyo is number 11. It just recently got pushed out.

Oh, I'm rude. Very rude. Or it got pushed out in 2016. But now guess the top ten highest grossing films in the history of Japan. It is one, two, three, four, five Japanese films, five American films. I'll tell you the nationality of each one before you guess. And I've given you number eight, Bayside Shakedown 2. Number 10 is an American film.

Number 10 is? Number 10 is an American film. It grossed 15.60 billion yen. Damn. Is your name on this list? My name? No, your name. The movie, your name?

It is. Okay. Which number? Four. Hell yeah. That's what I would do. I love your name. I feel like we should just try to throw shit at the wall.

No, just see if we can get any sort of like a classic elimination style. Okay, so let's do that. Now we have four and eight. You have four and eight. All right, spirit it away. Is number one still? Wow. That is incredible.

Number one. I think they re-release it sometimes. You know what I mean? I don't know. I'm looking at this number here and it feels like. Maybe that's just the number. Because nothing has come close to it. Wow.

There is one film that has made. Spirit of the Way is at 30 yen. 30 billion yen. 30 billion yen. Right. The number two film with 26 billion yen. Avatar? No. Right. The number two film with 26 billion yen. Avatar? No.

Wow. Is it on the top 10? It is, but it's 10. Huh? Because what's interesting is after I looked at this list, I was going down a rabbit hole of other countries' top 10 highest grossing films. Almost all of them have Avatar in the top three. Right.

Like in the UK and France. But for some reason, Avatar didn't hit quite as big. Okay. Interesting. 10, and it's not that it got replaced hit quite as big. Okay. Interesting. Ten. And it's not that it got replaced by more recent films. Okay. You know?

So Ponyo's number 11. Avatar's number 10. Bayside Shakedown's number 8. Spirited Away is number 1. There are three. And your name is number 4. Oh, your name is number 4. Titanic. It did 25.

Titanic is number 2. Yeah. So Spirited, 30. Titanic, 26.. It did 25. Titanic is number two. So Spirited, 30. Titanic, 26. Your name, 25.

There's one other film with essentially 25 and a half. 25.4. American or Japanese? It's an American film. It's the most recent film to crack the list.

It's the only American film from this decade to crack the list. What's interesting here is there's a lot more staying power than in the American top 10 that keeps rotating. Where, like, the franchises just...

Because this list is, like, 2001, 97, 2014, 2016, 01, 04, 97, 03, 02, 09. 2014, release, 25.48 billion yen. It's the third highest grossing film in the history of Japan. Any other clues? It is the only American animated film to make the list. Oh, American animated. Spirited Away is number one, Titanic is number two.

The third highest grossing film in the history of Japan is an American animated film. The only American animated film to seem to permeate the culture. I'm even looking down here. The next highest grossing American animated film is number 23. It's Finding Nemo. Then you have to go down to 28.

It's Toy Story 3. WALL-E is before then. Is it a Pixar movie? It is not. Damn. Wow. I don't know. Wow.

I mean, do you want to throw out some other guesses for the other spots? We've got an Avatar. Yeah. And I'll give you a hint. There are three Miyazakis

and you've only guessed one of them. We only guessed Spirited Away. Howl? Is Howl in there? Correct. It's number six with 19.6 billion yen.

Yeah, and that's a movie about a moving castle. Toto Otero? Nope. No. The earlier ones are less. They were more like video hip and things like that.

So I'm going to guess the other one is Mononoke. Correct. Yes. 19.3. Howl's moving castle and Mononoke very close to each other. Six and seven on the Correct. Yes. 19.3. Howl's Movie Castle and Mononoke very close to each other.

Six and seven on the list. So how many left? We got this American animated movie to go. I'm just realizing Mononoke would have been the number two film at the time with Titanic.

Yes. Mononoke was the record. Right. And then these other things that come above it have been released since. Spirit Away number one. Titanic number two.

Your Name number four. Halls Movie Castle six. Mononoke seven. Bayside Shakedown two number eight. Avatar ten. Right. You're missing the American animated film, which grossed 25 billion yen, and you're missing the five and the nine slots, I will say, are both from the same franchise.

They're two American films from the same franchise. Not a lot of clues here. Okay, you want more clues? I mean, three, I feel like I've given you so many clues. It's a 2014 animated film that is not from Pixar. It's huge. It was huge everywhere. It's not like it overperformed here.

Yeah, I know. It's some blind spot that I'm like not. It's a massive blind spot. It's one of the movies that's had the greatest cultural impact of the last 10 years. Frozen? Correct. Frozen is the third highest grossing film in the history of Japan.

I was getting lost in like DreamWorks and stuff. I forgot about regular old Disney. And it's also when you say animated, I'm thinking of animated and not. CGI. Not, right, artificial intelligence. Yeah, it's the only computer-generated movie and then there are

two films from the same franchise. What is interesting to me is that they are the first two films of that franchise. So is it Avengers and Ultron?

It's Iron Man. No. No. And it's not, it's truly the first two films of the franchise. Oh, okay.

It's not like Avengers is like a sub thing. Yeah. Because especially overseas, most franchises built. Yeah. The overseas market built. And this is two movies the franchise peaked. I mean, it's literally, this is fascinating because number five, All Time Japan, is the first film in the series.

Number nine, All Time Japan, is the second film in the series. Spider-Man? Number 13 is the first film in the series. Number nine, All Time Japan, is the second film in the series. Spider-Man? Number 13 is the third film in the series, which underperformed everywhere else. Oh. And then number 23 is the fourth film. Like, each of them did less, whereas in the States, they pretty much grew. There are two films in a long franchise that has since ended. X-Men. Definitively.

Definitively. And they have been trying to do other shit around it. It's not X-Men? So they're like, can we do other stuff in other mediums? Can we make movies that are sort of connected but aren't really the same thing? They're trying to keep the sanctity of the movies, but I feel like everyone feels like it's a matter of time until they bring the original actors

back and do a new film. That feels like the thing where everyone's waiting and they're like, they gotta be a little bit older to bring them back and do it. What is it? No, don't do it yet. The first two films, I mean, I'll give you the biggest clue.

They're from 2001 and 2002. They come out in successive years, and they're huge. One makes 20 billion yen. One makes 17 billion yen. Harry Potter. Never would have gone there. Philosopher's Stone is the fifth highest grossing film in the history of Japan. Chamber of Secrets is nine.

Chamber of Secrets. Like the one that everyone's like, oh yeah, I guess so. Now let me throw out some other crazy stats, okay? Last Samurai, the 12th highest grossing film in the history of Japan. Armageddon, tied for 13 with E.T. and Harry Potter. Deserves it. Armageddon deserves it. The 16th highest grossing film in the history of Japan.

Right. And far and away the most recent film to appear on the slice. Ridley Scott's a good year. I knew that one. Bohemian Rhapsody. Right. And far and away the most recent film to appear on the slice. Ridley Scott's a good year. I knew that one. Bohemian Rhapsody. Boy. Oh boy. And then you get into

like Jurassic Park, Phantom Menace, Wind Rises, 21 is Alice in Wonderland. Has a very big presence in the Tokyo Disney theme park by all accounts. No comment.

Everyone else I feel like is just sort of like, okay, we're done. And the 31st highest grossing film in the history of Japan? Why, of course, it's the original

Bayside Shakedown, the movie. Me, I love a Bayside Shakedown. Anytime I'm in Bayside. I'm more of a Bayside Shakedown 2 guy. Well, Bayside. I'm more of a Bayside Shakedown 2 guy. Well, you know, I agree.

I'm tired. So that was fun. Me, I had to see that Tarantino movie. That kid's a punk. You ask me, I like a good old-fashioned Bayside Shakedown. Okay. Okay. America's cheering, all of our listeners.

They love it. Doing the wave. I don't get cheering, all of our listeners. They love it. Doing the wave. I don't get why this is my Sinatra. I don't think he sounds like this. No. But this is what I'm doing. It sounds like your impression of my Joseph Gordon Leonard impression. I know.

That's kind of what it is. I was thinking about that. I know the precise weight of this loaded die. I'm going to sell these government secrets. I'm Edward Snowden, and I made a weird commitment to replicating his voice, even though no one cares. Weird. No one cared about any part of that movie. No, it is me, Philippe Petit.

I am French. I, of course, am French. I walked on a baguette. That was my first balancing act. We said how he needs to complete the trilogy. A stale baguette. The complete trilogy of auteurs who peaked in the 80s and 90s making unnecessary remakes of best documentary winners.

At the time I called that, we had not. So you had The Walk and then you have Snowden. Snowden. I'm just citizen four. Right. And since I made that call, another one has joined the fray in the Annals of Best Documentary,

which is clearly what he will do. Free solo? He will do a free solo remake. I'm Alex Honnold. Yes. I gotta climb this here. El Capitan. Right.

I can't do it. He'll do a free solo remake with... Like who's a lost 90s director. Yeah. Curtis Hanson. He's dead. Sidney Pollack is dead. like who's a lost 90s director yeah curtis uh hansen in fairness most of the people we've dragged into like we've talked about a lot of dead people that we've nonetheless sort of reanimated for the purpose of this podcast we've interrupted them uh do you have any final porco rosso or miyazaki thoughts uh just watch i mean the movie is great

like it's why you texted me like he doesn't put shit on this but it's great Like it's Why is it You texted me Like I'm He doesn't put shit on this But it's annoying Cause it's just like People should watch The Flying Pig movie I agree We didn't even spend

That much time on the plot Cause it's not It's not plotting Again it's like You read the manga It's 14 pages You get it The whole point is

It's the visual spectacle It's animation It's the loving details It's character Yeah exactly It's a character driven film Yeah I love it He's one of my best friends It's the best movie ever Based it's character. Yeah, exactly. It's a character-driven film. Yeah. I love it.

He's one of my best friends. It's the best movie ever based on an in-flight video. But even as a character-driven film, it's not even that much of a script-driven. Like, it really, they're, I don't know, man. It's behavioral and it's attitudinal. Like, I was just watching it and I was like, I'm in on the vibe of this movie. Like, Gina doesn't say shit, but you get such a vibe from Gina because she just sort of walks through the movie. I can set my watch to this movie because I understand

the way it's ticking. You know, it's just like I get it, baby. I love that pig. He's just a pig. He's working on his plane. I love that pig, baby. He's working on his plane. Maybe we will get Porco 2 one day. Ben, you like this one, right?

You're happy. Porco 2, Theo goes fash yeah that's that's Forko 2 Red Pill Red Pill

um next week we have um Mononoke ah Mononoke Mononoke great movie

yeah I agree I agree I agree that next week we have Mononoke yeah I can't I can. I agree that next week we have Mononoke. I can't argue with that. Don't. It's the truth.

I feel like David has given up. He's staring off into the middle. Someone sent me a text that took me a second to puzzle that. I figured it out. Can you read it or is it private? I'll read it off mic. Okay. Yeah. No. I love Porco. He might not be my favorite Miyazaki,

but I think that's good that we have the two sides between us. Sure. Okay. Well, geez. I was saying it's a compliment. I was agreeing. You went, sure. I just think if you watch Porco Rosso

and then go watch the documentary about Ghibli, The Kingdom of Dreams and Madness, it's like putting two and two together. Right, right. You're like, oh, I get it. This guy, this guy, this chain-smoking weirdo who makes these movies in his weird apron

is just like he's the pig. He's the pig. Have you watched the ramen video? No. I'll find it. I've been saving a lot of these things for later. Justin, thank you for being here. Thank you. This was fun. You don't watch a lot of movies, but we finally got you on. I listen to a lot

of Blake Check. Yes, you do. It's kind of like being into movies. You don't watch a lot of movies, but we finally got you on. I listen to a lot of Blank Check. Yes, you do. That's kind of like being into movies. You're this interesting subset of blankies, which is people who like the podcast and don't like movies. Yeah, it's great. Which is a subset. There are some. There are.

There was, yeah. Although I do like the Star Wars prequels, which is how I got into Blank Check. Really? What's your... Well, I like thinking about them more than I like certainly... I don't like Attack of the Clones, so I should retract my previous statement. I really dislike that movie. But, you know, I like Star Wars discussion. You got into the Star Wars.

Yeah. Can I say something crazy? Sure. I haven't rewatched any of them since we did that. Me neither. Of course you would. Why would you? Right.

We watched them too much. We were immersed. Right. But the more I like think about stuff, I'm like, is Attack of the Clones my favorite of all time? It's not. It's bad. It's so bad.

It's so weird. Can I, I will end with this. I will say, I remember release day of Attack of the Clones. My mom took me to see that movie. Retired bit. If you think that like I I cannot reconcile how excited I was to go see a Star Wars movie

I saw Phantom Menace in the theater I liked it I was a kid but Attack of the Clones I literally it's during the the Jango Fett chase scene

I fell asleep wow my mom had to wake me up I fell asleep during the Jango Fett chase that's very early in the film I was like all in couldn't do it wow it's the only time I've ever fell asleep during the Django Fett chase. That's very early in the film. I was like all in.

Couldn't do it. Wow. It's the only time I've ever fell asleep in the movie theater was watching Attack of the Clones when they're in the asteroid belt. I just dozed off. I'll say, I mean, you know, we've mentioned this before, but I feel like we were harder on those movies because of the bit we were doing.

Partly, that's true, because they certainly don't live up to standing outside of the Star Wars universe. Right, right. They're only interesting in dialogue with the original films and how much he deviates from them. Yeah. How reticent he is to, like, do what people want is what's interesting about them. I don't think any of us, either of us would argue that they're good. what's interesting about them. I don't think any of us,

either of us would argue that they're good. But I feel like if we watch them with context, we both have more complimentary things to say. You say that, but it's not true. This is,

it's just the trick. And we talk about it so much where we're like, you're like, Phantom Menace might be good. And you turn it on and you're like, no, I don't like it.

And then it ends and you're like, but maybe there's something there. You know, like, it's like when it's on, you're like, oh, I see. I know this is tough. It's very boring. Right, right, right. But then the second it ends, you're like, but maybe there's something there. You know, like, it's like, when it's on, you're like, oh, I see. I know this is tough. They're very boring.

Right, right, right. But then the second it ends, you're like, but, you know, what about Wado? Let's think about it. It is fascinating now how much, like, prequel defenders are becoming, like, a thing. The exact people who are like, finally, we kicked Lucas. Like, the people who are, like, texting death threats to Lucas are now like, fucking Kathy Kennedy. She doesn't have the balls to make a prequel. She doesn't have the balls to make bad

movies that no one likes. We talked about this on our Evangelion podcast at the ringer of all the people who are mad at the Netflix dub are the same people who in fucking 2001 hated the original English dub because they were like, oh, it took so many liberties with the original Japanese script. And now they've missed that

fandom is like a curse it's a fucking it is a curse it's an Ouroboros and a curse they want to be able to say that the last thing was better than this thing

it's always that's the art you had to be there it's always the logic of like you had to be there for the real thing putting in the work weed was so much better then

yeah we're done guys breaking my back as a Star Wars fan for five years oh that's true I have been breaking... Yeah. We're done, guys. Breaking my back as a Star Wars fan for five years. Oh, that's true. I have been breaking my back. Yeah.

We're done! We're two boys with broken backs. Thank you for being here, Justin. Marco! Thank you. Thanks for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew Guto

for our social media. Thanks to Liam Montgomery for our theme song. Pat Reynolds and Joe Bowen for our artwork. Go to blankies.red.com for some real nerdy shit. Go to TeePublic for some real nerdy shirts.

I think we're working on some new shirts that we'll be hitting around. They'll be breaking the internet around Christmas time or whatever. Black Friday. Oh, sure, fine, yeah. This year they're going to have to call it Blank Friday. Aren't they? David, this year?

They're going to have to call it Blank Friday. Are they? David, this year? They're going to have to call it Blank Friday. People are going to be storming the malls looking for their Checky merch. Tickle Me Checky? Please can we be done? Get ready for Tickle Me Checky! Okay. You can use it as a pillow. Dollar bill, y'all.

You put them in your pillowcase. Dollar bill, y'all. Right. Next week, princess mononoke and as always patreon.com listen to some marvel commentaries what are we up to now

good question what would be approaching far from home homecoming it's gonna be be Black Panther next. Oh! Great commentary. A great one with Jamel Bowie.

Yeah. I mean, we really actually did a good job on that. I agree. Although once in a while, we're just... Don't call your shot. I think... I remember when that was done, I was like, huh, that was good. Don't you start.

What? You don't like Michael B. Jordan. I love Jamel. I don't like Michael B. Jordan in that movie in particular. Oh, I forgot about that. In this movie, I think he's good. I think he's good in Fruitvale, which is not a good movie. I think he's bad

in Black Panther, which is also better than Fruitvale, but good movie. Jamel's good. I'll listen to it for Jamel. Yeah, you should. It's also one of those things where sometimes we're just quiet because we're like, this is a good scene. We're suddenly just like,'re like oh this is a good scene and we're suddenly just like

oh yeah oh yeah this is cool also usually when we do the commentaries and there's three in a row like that by the third one we're like crazy

right right and this one we're just kind of like oh yeah we're like oh I'm just going to give in to this movie I don't have the energy yeah

it actually holds up great when you do that because you've seen other ostensibly fun and good horror movies and then suddenly you're like oh this is like operating something special

right okay anyway and there's always Porco Rosso Fox I don't know the episode's over get out of here he doesn't he does wait you don't think he fucks he seems kind of like I don't know

I think the whole point of Porco Rosso is that he fucks. And the movie is like him largely remembering what it is like to be one who fucks. Yeah. Alright, sure. He fucked and he will fuck again. Yeah. I feel like that's the tension in the movie. I don't think he makes love because I don't think he will let anyone in to that.

The guy who sits there and eats that plate of pasta like he does and sips that wine like he... That guy fucks. That guy fucks. Okay, you're right. He's all about pleasures of the flesh. I don't know if Miyazaki fucks. I think a new funny thing would be to be like, I saw the new Quentin. That movie makes love. Oh boy.

God, the souvenir makes love. Souvenir does make love. Donald Curtis does make love. Does it, though? Yeah. Donald Curtis does not love. Hey, Ben, we're done. Yay. That was fun.

Oh, my God. David? Yep. You ever wonder what it would be like to be David Bowie's neighbor? Uh, sure, I guess so. You know, to live station to station with him? Of course. Or, I don't know, let's say what it would be like to get into a water gun fight with Tupac.

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