Blank Check with Griffin & David - Princess Mononoke with Griffin McElroy

Episode Date: September 22, 2019

Griffin McElroy (My Brother, My Brother and Me, The Adventure Zone) joins #thetwofriends to discuss 1997's eco-friendly adventure, Princess Mononoke! Together they examine melting giant evil spaghetti boars, bones, tasty immortality heads, being raised by wolves and more!  Plus, check out The Adventure Zone's new book, Murder on the Rockport Limited! Music is "Cool Hard Facts" by Kevin MacLeod. Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License.

life is suffering it is. The world is cursed. But still, you find reasons to keep podcasting. I mean, that's my mantra. That's why you get up in the morning. What happens every time I walk in the studio? You go, Griffin, what's up? He's just for the listener. Flails his arms.

Flailing his arms. What's new? What's up? I do that. You do Kermit Arms and you demand that I give you info. And I go, nothing's new. Everything's terrible. The world is awful.

I hate everything. And then you go, let's podcast. Right? That's pretty much the conversation every time. It's the tonal vibes. Even if those aren't the words. That is the back and forth. I'm trying to be like, woo.

And you're like, well, well. And I go, everything's bad. And you you go our podcast is good it is good he's such a big fan what do i just hop in do i just oh right okay right the fuck in ah yeah man i all the time yeah dude for sure sure sure sure hell yeah my mom yeah totally my mon my mon all right man cool this is a cool environment yeah i'm pretty sure i like how you have all these uh papasan chairs thank you on the studio thank you we do we try to you know it's uh for us it's it's more of a hangout than a show do you you know what I'm saying? Yeah, for me, they call it work, but it doesn't feel like it does it.

No, I mean, if this is work, I've never worked a day in my life. Yeah, if this is work, I don't want to see play. Yeah. What's play going to look like, an office job? Do you think we can keep this going for two hours? A hundred percent. I'm sweating. You think we're going to?

I feel like I'm on a treadmill right now. Here's the i didn't i didn't watch the movie so if we could just do this like you've never seen it yeah yeah i've never i've actually never seen any movies you've never seen any movies no i've heard of them they're like the long tv shows so you've seen tv shows oh yeah man you love those cheers am i supposeduss? What's your cuss policy on here? Oh, hardcore cussing. Oh, good, good, good. Some people complain about it sometimes. They go, I like the show.

I wish their mouths were a little less filthy. Ah, fuck you. No, that feels, I would never say that. Yeah, eat my turds. I got to say, already this is off to a rip-roaring start. Yes, it is. And this is what I always wanted because we all know it's a long

standing issue with this show that I cannot get a word in edgewise we've been doing this show for over four years and this has yet to in any way reflect you don't get to talk about your interests at all I got no stake in this show I feel like a silent

business partner And you know why? Why? It's because I'm always outnumbered Okay Oh right Sure At the very best

This podcast has one third Griffin Right If we have a guest It's one fourth If we have multiple guests It could be as much as like one sixth Yeah Terrible

Right But today for the first time This podcast 50 griff baby so i'm gonna i'm gonna bend sort of at the waist like this and stick my arms out and you just grab grab my hands like that i got it now we're we're gonna fuse have you done this before is doing this i've tried to do this with other guests and it doesn't work no it's got to be two griffins so we can fuse together. There's no guarantee that we will be able

to separate after this. Are you okay? Yeah, no, no. It's much, of course, like the mythical Griffin, which is half eagle, half lion. We're going to turn to a mythical creature

that's half Griffin, half Griffin. Right, exactly. But just two heads. A double Griffin. Two heads, no legs. It's like a cat dog. A cat dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Your arms can be the... Right. Yeah, right. It's a long neck, a head on each side. It looks sort of like a cat dog. A cat dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your arms can be the... Right. Yeah, right. It's a long neck, a head on each side. It looks sort of like a dumbbell. Yeah, it looks like a hot dog flanked by eagle heads. What is cat dog doing these days, do you think? What's cat dog up to these days?

Well, you could add up the life expectancy of a dog and a cat, and it still just statistically is probably dead as disco by this point. What if it like compounds though? You know what I mean? You don't add. You multiply. Oh, I see. I see.

I feel like CatDog moved like behind the camera. You know what I'm saying? I feel like. Oh, right. CatDog is like now. He's one of those guys who like directs a lot of Madam Secretaries. He's like Eric Stoltz. Or he's like Brian Robbins where he's now just like an exec at Nickelodeon.

Remember when Nick Cannon ran like The N? No. And they were like, no, he's like actually running the network. He's a mogul. Yeah.

That's what cat dogs look like. Okay, cool. End it. Our guest today, of course, is Griffin McElroy. Are you ready to fuse? Are you ready? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So you just want to push. And I'll push. So Ben, if you could insert like a sort of, you know, sort of anime style. No sound effects necessary. This is going to really happen. No sound'll push. So, Ben, if you could insert, like, a sort of, you know, sort of anime style. No sound effects necessary. This is going to really happen. No sound effects necessary.

Yeah, of course. You'll hear it. Like, have you ever heard one person's bones enter another person's body? It makes a sound. We're finally going to get a sound. Sort of a squelch. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sort of like a crunchy squelch. Okay, and no sound effects necessary. It's going to happen for real. Also, Ben, mark this to find some sound effects. Okay. Okay, and no sound effects necessary. It's going to happen for real. Also, Ben, mark this to find some sound effects. Okay, ready? That's interesting. I can't wait to see in an episode's metrics exactly when we got to zero listeners. Oh, see.

Okay, hold up. Here's the problem. You pushed to zero listeners oh see okay hold up oh here's the problem you push too hard okay so yeah now all your stuff's inside my stuff so i've got two skulls yeah rib cages so this is getting bad this is getting bad i don't even know where your voice is coming from um i'm sort of just like uh pushing wind out of my now hollow skin bag okay okay okay kind of like a bagpipe yeah okay ready i'm gonna pull this time okay uh okay but let's not uh overdo it okay okay i'll try i'll try to put a meter on this okay ready okay oh no now you now you got all my bones oh boy i boy, I'm feeling heavy. If only we could say, hey, what the fuck, man? What? You're saying I got heavy bones?

No, I'm just saying I got double bones now. I think that was a bone dig. That was not a bone dig. Hey, because I didn't say that. When I had your bones, I didn't say that shit. He didn't talk about that. But then when you had my bones in you, you're like, these are some hefty bones. I didn't say that.

I just said I have a lot in me right now. I mean, look. Look around this room. Do you see Alan Grant anywhere? Because if this were a bone dig, paleontologist Alan Grant would be here. He'd be here with his big claw he uses to assault children. His bone claw. He is very mean to one child.

And was the fan theory that that child is Chris Pratt? Is that the fan theory? The fan theory. The great fan theory. The great fan theory. All of the one fan theories are like,

that one kid, he's Chris Pratt now. Yes. You know, like, that one kid, he's Iron Man now, or whatever. What's up with this?

It's really cool when people do that. It's cool. Right, right. Because it was formerly just a scene in a movie do that. It's cool. Because it was formerly just a scene in a movie. Disgusting. Now it's the most important scene in cinema history and I'm the

only one who knows. The Pixar theory that every Pixar movie is connected. They're all in the same universe and the monster world has something to do with the brave witch. They all got that stupid lamps in all of them. Yup. Yup. And the ball. And here's the thing. That theory makes the movies

so much better. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel so bad for anyone who watches those movies and doesn't realize that Cars takes place

after a bug's life when the bugs have wiped out the earth. Wait, is that the theory? Cars, in the theory, Cars is like the end, right? That's the last world. Right.

It's like that's so far in the future that there are only cars now. So that suggests that at the end of WALL-E, all of the pilgrims come back and try to start a new world and fail. Correct. Or are turned into cars by a witch. One or the other. I think the witch from Brave is responsible. She's responsible for like 18 things. Right. All the magical stuff. Like the toys

only come to life because the witch in Brave fucked up. Right. Yes. That's exactly right. I like that it all hinges on the witch from Brave. I'm sorry. I'm wrong. Monsters Inc. is the end of the universe.

The monsters kill the cars. Yes. How is that possible? I don't... Because it happens parallel. I think the doors the end of the universe. The monsters kill the cars. Yes. How is that possible? I don't – Because it happens parallel. I think the doors are going to the past. I don't know. Look, I don't know why I brought this up.

Either way, this is so cool. It's so good. Yeah. I love it, man. It's what I want out of art. I went to a theme park. I was in, retired bit, Barcelona. Barcelona.

I was in Barcelona. You were in Whit Stillman's Barcelona. I was in Whit Stillman's Barcelona, and I went to a theme park that is one of the oldest theme parks in the world. I would not want to go to that. Yeah, right. To me, age is not a bragging thing for theme parks.

I would like to attend the newest theme park in the world. Here's what I want. Where they're like, we opened it a year ago. Lots of people have tried it out. It's fine. That's it. It's all computers. This is this place's hell.

This place goes, we started construction in 1895. When wood was discovered. And the entire theme park is atop a mountain and all of the rides at the very tippy top are all like height based so their big ride is like it's a little tin airplane and it flies around the top of the mountain so it feels like you're flying in a little private like a lindbergh plane right right uh but the place is called i i i keep on getting the name wrong because the name of the place sounds like dibbidi-ba-dee-ba-do-ba i was wondering how you're gonna circle on that right i was lost i think it's called tiba doble but every time my girlfriend tees me for a thing, I would get the name wrong.

Just the sounds that he's making. Tee-ba-do-bo. Tee-ba-dee-ba-dee-ba-do-bo. Did you start? Tee-bee-da-bo. Tee-bee-da-bo. Tee-bee-da-bo. I don't know.

Tee-ba-dee-bo. Tee-ba-da-ba-do. Man, this bit's going on the highlight reel. Oh, no question. Why are you on this? Why did you do this to yourself? Can we get serious for a moment? Okay.

Very serious. Introduce the podcast and our guest, please. Okay. This podcast- It's a little distracting, by the way. You have two sets of bones. Can you guys just finish? Do you want to just-

Okay. I'm going to give the bones back to you. Give me the leg bones. Okay. You keep the arm bones. Let's call the whole thing off. He was almost introducing the podcast, and then he arm bones. Let's call the whole thing off. He was almost introduced in the podcast. And then he had to

redo the 11th season of Bones. Cool. 11th season of Bones, they sure had fun with Bones in that one. I think that's what happens in the 11th season where they're like, we're out of crimes. But this year, their bones got all mixed up. Season 11 is the one with all the skeleton warriors, right?

Where she's like, who did this murder? Oh, an actual skeleton. I, Lord Marrow. It's where they all become set designers for the Texas Chainsaw franchise. Right. Oh, boy. Yeah, what if that happened in a procedural about the government? It's like season 8 is like, Trump cut our budget.

Now we're freelancers. And they're like set designers. We gotta make Bones here now. Is Bones still on? Bones is not still on. Okay, okay, fine. Bones is done. Bones is done.

Bones ran for a gentleman's 11 seasons. That's right. Yes. No, 12. Gentleman's 12. Gentleman's 12. A dozen. How many episodes is that?

It didn't make it to a baker's dozen, which would have been nice. How many episodes is that? 246 Bones. Can I gripe corner for a second? How many bones does the human body have? Like 70. That's a good question.

Are there more episodes of bones or bones? 206. Bones, the TV show, beat it by 40. Wow. Now, okay, boys, you understand that they didn't feature a bone. What if they did, though? They were like, this time it's your ring finger on your right hand. It's, yeah, the top one.

Yeah. All right. That would be nice, though, if each episode of Bones was like, we got to crack the shin. The case of the shin. Introduce the podcast blank check with Griffin and David and Griffin you see what I did there Griffin and David and Griffin

ah little David sandwich you know what I'm saying yeah I'm trying to get used to my new sort of composition oh yeah it's an honor thank you for having me I feel right at home. You're now all lower body density, and I'm all upper body density.

Yeah. Yeah. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors who have massive success early on in their career and are given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy passion projects they want. And sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they bounce baby. And this is a miniseries on the films of Hayao Miyazaki. Today we're covering Princess Mononoke. That's right. And this is a miniseries on the films of Hayao Miyazaki. Today we're covering Princess Mononoke. That's right.

And what's the miniseries called? It's called Howl's Moving Podcastle. Thank you. And we got with us Griffin McElroy of The Adventure Zone and My Brother, My Brother and Me and 80,000 other podcasts. Yeah, that's true. And from Princess Mononoke. I was in it. You were in it?

Yeah. Who were you? Were you the princess? i was one of those why i was one of those wild little rattly ghosts oh yeah well little head turning little yeah um i'm interested to see how this series goes because i don't know that miyazaki has made a bad film he has not he's He has not. This is correct. He has not. I don't know if y'all were about to go just like,

like harden the paint, dunk on Ponyo. How dare you? Okay. I would never dunk on my beloved Ponyo. She's a good person. There are a couple things that you need to know. Good fish. Griff.

Okay. A couple things you need to know. One, Ponyo loves him. That's true. Ponyo do love him. I'm always saying that. Number two, Ponyo loves Satsuki. Yeah, Satsuki. That's things you need to know. One, Ponyo loves ham. That's true. Ponyo do love ham. I'm always saying that. Number two, Ponyo loves Satsuki. Yeah, Satsuki.

That's all you need. And here's number three, and this is the biggest twist. David loves Ponyo. Hell yeah. Does that mean that by transitive property, I also love ham and Satsuki? Correct. I do. That's true.

Ponyo is one of your top five movie friends, right? Absolutely. If you had to rank. As I have said on this podcast, Ponyo is a movie that I watch to calm myself down if I'm in a bad mood. Ponyo is one of your top five movie friends, right? If you had to rank. As I have said on this podcast, Ponyo is a movie that I watch to calm myself down if I'm in a bad mood. Ponyo. Weirdly enough, that's like Spirited Away. Spirited Away is like my chicken soup.

I am sick. I'm too sick to move. I'm just going to put this movie on and chill. That's another one. That one is like a toxins purging movie for me. That's your Russian bathhouse. Seriously. By the end of it, I'm always like, oh, yeah.

I always kind of get emotional at the end. I suddenly remember that him turning into – well, no spoilers, but Haku is a river. Well, that's a huge spoiler. It's arguably the spoiler from that film. Wow. This is Princess Mononoke, which at the time of its release was not only Miyazaki's biggest film, but the highest grossing film in the history of Japan. Japan's biggest film. That is wild.

This was Japan's biggest film. Ever. And it was only dethroned by Spirited Away. Wasn't it dethroned by Titanic, which then was dethroned by Spirited Away? Titanic dethroned it. I mean, it is... It was still the most profitable Japanese movie of all time.

It was the most successful domestic film in Japan, and then Spirited Away has held the title since. Titanic ruined so many great streaks for so many different beloved movie franchises. I remember being a youngster and being so excited when my favorite movie at the time came out and dethroned Titanic. And that was Lost in Space.

Yes. Of course. Starring Matt LeBlanc. We did an episode on Lost in Space. We have done an episode on Lost in Space. An important work of movie making. It does not fit into the model of what we usually discuss on this podcast at all,

but we did an episode with David and his brother where we talked about Lost in Space because it was their favorite VHS. That's a good one. Got that soundtrack, got Apollo 440, got a lot of arena rock on that bad boy. That's right. You've got the

three alphas. Gary Oldman, William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc. I love you, wife. I love you, wife. We have to go through the planet core. We are lost in space. Blarp? Blarp.

Don't forget Blarp. Griffin, did you forget Blarp? I did. I forgot about Blarp. And I swore Iore I never would. Well he's in there. We came up with a term based on that movie which is when a film Blarps it's female characters. Yes. And gives them some

bit of business that has nothing to do with anything. Oh we have to go chase Blarp. Now we don't have to explain why they're not in the last 30 minutes of the movie. They're dealing with Blarp. Yeah they're Blarping. They're Blarping. This movie does not blur no nah not at all this movie is well if it came out in 90 in 97 in mmm hmm maybe a teeth from Titanic isn't that poster no no it's pre Titanic yeah well it's it's it's a text

98 right well late 97 yeah right right right but I'm that's what I'm trying did this come out early 97 Yeah And then was dethroned by Titanic Yeah like months after it Okay Not long after the title Gotcha

But then Spirited Away You know suplexed Titanic It's suplexed Yeah yeah Chihiro and Baba They took Titanic and they Folded Titanic like laundry Exactly

Yeah But Wait what was I going to say? Well, female characters. I don't know. This thing's got them. It's got an anti-blarp. Yeah.

It's got an anti-blarp. Now, here's the thing I want to get right off the bat because I was confused. There is Moro the wolf. Moro the wolf. He's cool. Yes. In this film. Oh, are you going to talk about the dub?

Yes. In the dub played by a lady. Gillian Anderson. He's cool. Yes. In this film. Oh, are you going to talk about the dub? Yes. In the dub played by... A lady. Gillian Anderson. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's right.

Is that the question? So then I was going into... Wait, I have the answer. Yes. Okay. Fair enough. Okay, moving on. No.

What was your question? I was going into the Wikipedia because I was like, is this them sort of rewriting the movie to some degree? Because I know this was notorious as like the worst of the dubs. Yeah. And the first. Really? The first.

I feel like it was at the time. I don't think that's. Really? It's more that its release was so screwed up. Right. By Miramax. It was the first effort to like, let's put this in American theaters. Right.

It's like, here's Hayao Miyazaki. He's a Japanese master. This was like the first proper theatrical release of one of his movies. We've got a proper release with like proper big name actors, American actors doing the dub. Right.

Like, and then Miramax like released it limited and like then didn't really expand it. Like they kind of like decided not to go for it. Right. And so no one really got to see it. Yeah. And then the DVD release was like not until a long time later. And initially they were only gonna release it it. Yeah. And then the DVD release was like not until a long time later.

And initially they were only going to release it with the dub. Uh-huh. And all the fans were like, please release the original audio track too. And they were like, oh, okay. Well, that means it's not going to come out for a while. And like it came out later. You know, like they just sort of like mishandled everything. I don't think the dub itself is bad.

I guess the Castle in the Sky one is more notorious for changing the movie. That one's bad because that one changes the music. Right. And I think the original Totoro dub is bad. Sure. Yeah. Well, from what I understand for Mononoke is the there were a lot of things changed in the

English version. Right. Just because there are certain like either, not really concepts, but like deep Japanese folklore that would take like forever to like, it just like explicitly says them in this movie. And it is like an interpretation of that folklore that I know that, that Miramax like pushed back big time on and like wanted all these changes, but the adaptation,

wasn't it written by Neil Gaiman? It was. Did he do this? Yeah. Like I, so I would be blown away if this was the worst. I i don't i don't think in terms of the translation i just know people always had gripes about like the actual vocal performances like billy bob thornton goes like fully kind of suck shit in this movie right yeah he does not do a good and like it's so it is

so devoid of energy and so like does not match the character or the pacing. Yeah. It just feels like they went in for a day and they were like, what's this dialogue? Okay, I will defeat you, evil spirit. What's the next line? You know, hi, how are you doing? What's the next line? Right.

And I think, what were you going to say? Claire Danes kind of ranks above Billy Bob Thornton, but is not my favorite. But like Minnie Driver crushes it. Like I think Minnie Driver is an amazing Eboshi. Yeah. And Billy Crudup, you know, not the most exciting dynamic role to play. But he does fine. I think everybody does fine in this movie, except for Billy Bob Thornton, who does, like I said earlier, suck shit.

I guess it was just I had heard so much about how bad Billy Bob Thornton was that I assumed the entire dub was bad. I don't think so. Keith David crushes it. Everybody's good in this one. This was the thing. The Gillian Anderson thing. I was like, are they rewriting this character a little bit to make her female? And I started digging into it and the character is referred to as

female, as the mother wolf. And the Japanese actor who plays Moro deep voice, but is historically a drag queen performer. Hey. Hmm. I don't know enough about the sort of. No, I just think it's a little interesting.

It is very interesting. But I kind of like that idea where it's like, yes, I'm the mother wolf. Wolves have deep ass voices. Right. That's how it is. Right. Right. Right.

No effort to, rather than like uh get rosie o'donnell like you know whatever whatever disney did right yeah like get who's who's the who's a funny lady who can play the animal that is the thing with these dubs is they like feel so much like the product of like who's at just the right level of like we're not gonna tell us to fuck off but like we know their voice they're kind of a hot name but it also feels like them being like, just do the thing that you do. Like don't try to fit the character too much by and large. And then you'll read like interviews with Minnie Driver, interviews with Mark Hamill

where they're like, I took this seriously. Sure. Right. I'm giving a performance. Versus like someone like Billy Bob who's like, yeah, that was an afternoon. They told me he was like an idiot. So I just did the sling blade voice is there a problem said something about some big crazy boar monster wow that was a really bad billy bob impression he's kind of hard to do what is no but yeah i need to re-watch armageddon that's

the one where he has like 18 lines it's the size size of Texas. You know, like where every line he says is like some folksy nonsense. Yeah, like he just drank a big ball of barbecue sauce before each take. I miss Billy Bob just being in like five movies a year. Remember when Billy Bob would just crop up and everything? Yeah, well he was on the Amazon original series

Goliath. I think that got it renewed. That's coming back. Did it? Yeah. Third season. Goliath. I feel like the third season. That's coming back. Did it? Yeah. Third season. Goliath. I feel like the third season's already aired. Am I wrong about that? Well, I don't know. I don't know if you've noticed, but Amazon's been doing this thing where they just nine months later go, oh yeah, no, we're

not making more of that after not announcing anything ever. No, season two aired last year and they just announced that there will be a third season. They just announced. Okay, fair enough. So that's what's keeping him busy.

Also, of course, we know his musical act. Sure. The Box Tops, I think they're called. Is that what they're called? The Box Cutters. The Box Cutters? Wait a second. It's got dark.

It's something with box in it. It's the Box Masters. It's the Box Masters? I don't know what to tell you. It's the Boxmasters. It's the Boxmasters? I don't know what to tell you. It's the Boxmasters. Shit. It's hillbilly British invasion music? Correct.

Okay. And I'm reading that from a computer. That isn't anything. He calls it hillbilly mod rock. What? I guess you can call anything anything. Yeah, you can. Guys, let's go to a box master show

this sounds fun hillbilly mod rock you guys have all seen the interview with billy bob thornton yes right where they ask him a question about balancing his acting his music career and then he starts talking about his hobbies as a child i have not right He won't answer the questions directly. It's an interview with noted sex criminal Gian Gomeschi. Yeah. But he goes like, so what's it like balancing your acting career and your music career? And he goes like, when I was a young child, I loved movie monsters. I would buy Remco model kits and I would read famous monsters of film land. And there was a contest one time when I won.

And then I'll ask him another question and he'll go like, I used to play baseball. And he's like not answering directly. And then he goes, I feel like you're being obtuse. And he goes, well, you know, you're going to treat what I like to do as a hobby. Then I'll tell you about some hobbies I have. Wow. And his attitude was we had an agreement that you would not ask me any questions about acting.

Oh, sure. And he was trying to sneak an acting. Okay. You know what? I'm correcting myself. He didn't even ask a question about acting. He, in the introduction, said a band which includes Billy Bob Thornton, who you might know from his film work.

And that crossed the line. He had only prepared music questions. And Billy Bob was so angry that they contextualized him as a movie star. Now, the windup for this is the other day I was at a comic book store. And I was at the clearance shelf. And I found that there is a Boxmasters graphic novel. Oh, wow. Because the mythos of the Boxmasters is too big for the six albums they release a year.

Because they're one of these bands that goes, like, we're so prolific and all of it's so good, we have to release 800 songs a year. The Boxmasters graphic novel on the back goes, a band comprised of Billy Bob Thornton, film actor, director. Wow. So he gave up. In parentheses on the back. Well, they're traveling through time, attempting to destroy the history of rock and roll. They're trying to stop the. Attempting to destroy the history of rock and roll.

They're trying to stop the person who's attempting to destroy the history of rock and roll. Okay. They're the saviors. Well, for $150, you can meet the box masters, go to a show, get a photo with them, and pick up a VIP pass. Let's do it. Yeah, August 10th in Vegas. You want to go? Yeah.

Cool. I'm going to do that and wear my Monst's ball t-shirt that i got from the launch the release party my eagle eye baseball cap eagle eye i'm trying to think of other billy buffering projects i remember this interview when he was doing press for eagle eye and they were like so what attracted you the script and he was like my agent calls me like every couple of years and goes billy you gotta do another movie where you're at a bus stop and he was like what and he was like you know the thing where you're on the poster at the bus stop so it'd been about three years and they offered me this but like that is to me the epitome of a billy bob role is just like shia labeouf gets brought into you know something do you know what

you're doing you're in some real trouble son like just. Billy Bob comes in in a suit and you're like, oh shit. Son, there's an eagle eye. You either are or are in the sights of an eagle eye. Son, Tommy Lee Jones was busy. He turned us the hell down, so here I am. Son, my agent said I need to be in a bus stop. So you get Bebo. Yeah. You think he calls get Bebo. Yeah.

You think he calls himself Bebo? He definitely does. He does, yeah. He does. Yeah. Bad Santa 2. That was like a couple years ago. That made the bus stop, I think.

It didn't do well, but it certainly made the bus stop. That was certainly like a big departure for Miyazaki. Bad Santa 2. Yeah, that one was pretty weird when he made that one. I contend with our original statement. He has never made a bad film. Never made a bad one.

Yeah, sure. From Castle of Cagliostro to Bad Santa 2, all of them are masterpieces. And he didn't make Bad Santa 1, which is weird. I didn't know that at all. He actively expressed his dislike for it, in fact. He said,

I can do that better. And Bebo was like, prove it. And then he proved it. He had to go in and pitch on Bad Santa 2. And he said, I think the thing that truly makes Santa bad is his lack of relationship with nature. And they gave him the job in the room. So is Santa just like wandering through the forest,

like encountering spirits? Who is good enough to really decide he is bad Santa? So he's looking for good Santa. That does sound like a Miyazaki takeaway. Yeah, it's shades of gray Santa. What God has deemed him bad Santa. Princess Mononoke, a film I had not seen before oh right this was one of the

well no you haven't seen most of it I haven't seen most of it had not seen it before yeah Griff is discovering Miyazaki yeah basically yeah I kind of went on the same trip I got the for like two like Christmas 2017

I got the whole Miyazaki collection on Blu-ray and I'd only seen like Castle of Cagliostro and I think Spirited Away that may have been it uh and i just tore through him it's a it's a delightful journey uh were you a lupin fan did you see caliostro through that or had you seen that no i dad used to get just like vhs's sent to the house and i don't know if he was on some sort of mailer or what uh and he got a lot of anime like sent to him which neither of us really watched um but then we got a copy of castle of caliostra and he's like oh i've actually heard this is good and we watched it together when i was

like eight or nine oh wow and uh i was like oh actually this is the raddest thing ever it was not it's still yeah still like a really really great onboarding to the rest of Miyazaki's even though it's not really like the rest of it but yeah that was sort of where I came and then Spirited Away I don't know I feel like everybody saw that that was the one right I knew that this was sort of like

oh this is like his serious like epic this is like his big like fantasy action movie epic. I did not realize that it's literally a movie about like man fighting nature. Hell yeah. This is his themes like, like, like made flesh,

right? Like the stuff that Totoro is sort of about. Right. Like, you know, our humanity, our oneness with nature has been disrupted. Right.

Like what is man's relationship to the outside world? But this is, like, a sword, like, epic version of the happening. Well. Well, wait a second. It's me facing it in the worst imaginable light. Is he on to something? Wait a second. No, it is.

Like, it's in the. What is the name Is there a genre For the Fern Gully Avatar Like Battle between Bad man And good nature Enviro epic

Right Yeah Eco adventure Right Yeah An eco adventure Yeah It's like an eco vengeance movie

Like Biodome Yeah Yeah Yeah It's a It's a timeless story Of P poly shore versus the world the living world we all know that the world has been against poly shore but what if for this movie poly shore was against the world you mentioned like a miyazaki-esque take and i feel like this is about where in his career like if you did not know what that dude

was about and uh where his like where his sort of just disillusionment with life started i think you could probably clock it clock it right here at princess mononoke yes yeah because this the other movies up until this point are are sort of like cut with some sense of like there are characters living these pure, joyful lives. Right. In some corner of his tapestry, you know? Or like their sadness is cut with like moments of like whimsical bliss or whatever. And this is like a film about like a world that maybe doesn't deserve to exist anymore. Yeah.

It's super. Yeah. It's super. Yeah. It's funny. I actually, I know I mentioned that I'm not like a huge anime fan, but I did watch all of Neon Genesis Evangelion in like two and a half days on Netflix. The new, right, right. I've been meaning, is it worth it? Well, it's not new.

I know, I know, I know. Is it worth it? Yeah. It's a, not in a every second of it was good and enjoyable way, but in a like, I know. But is it worth it? Yeah. It's a not in a every second of it was good and enjoyable way. But in a like, I've never quite seen anything like it way. But it is. It was funny watching this right after binging Eva because it's it is similarly sort of maybe we don't deserve to exist. Maybe actually way more explicitly about that.

But but yeah, the themes, the themes were pretty compatible, I'd say. Griffin, if I can just correct your correction quickly. Yeah. You said it's not new. It's just new to Netflix. I don't know if you know this, but shows don't exist until they're on Netflix. You're right. I'm sorry.

I apologize. I apologize to Netflix. If something gets removed from Netflix, it no longer exists. It doesn't exist. I'm so sad that The Office is leaving Netflix. They're canceling the office! And unavailable, otherwise. Friends is cancelled!

Yeah, right. The office leaving Netflix means that no one can go to any office. And friends leaving means that no one can have friends! And most of this office! They're just gonna torch that wing of the Library of Congress. Done.

What if that's the Library of Congress now? It's just some guy who's like, is it on Netflix? Eh, fine. They got it. They don't need to put it in the library. They don't delete anything, right? It's just data. It's just servers. Every time a website posts one of those, like, here's everything leaving Netflix this month. For me, that's like the In Memoriam segment of the Oscars.

You know? Saying goodbye to some classic shows and movies. Oh, boy. Lost to the sands of time. I just still can't get over the fact that Netflix successfully pulled off the hoodwink where you aired on Lifetime a full season. Capital Y, you. The Penn Badgley series. You aired on another channel.

Full season. Right. Then they Badgley series. It aired on another channel. Full season. Right. Then they produced a second season. Yes. Nine months later, Netflix was like, we'll buy both seasons. Right. They put it up a year after it had aired. Maybe a little less.

Nine months, whatever. Check out this new show. And everyone was like, huh, Netflix original. Great new show about you. No one believed me when I told them that that show had aired on broadcast television. You're swinging a torch around. No one believed me when I told them that that show had aired on broadcast television. Griffin, stop swinging a torch around. No one believed me! Griffin, stop climbing up that mountain to yell.

No one believed me! It doesn't exist until it's on Netflix. Right, yes. And Princess Mononoke is not yet on Netflix. So it doesn't exist. It's an idea. Right, it's an idea. Right. It's an idea.

I was wondering if these are going to pop up on the Disney Plus app or whatever it's called that's coming in November. They will not. Miyazaki forbids it. Yeah.

A Disney lego of all the Miyazaki the Ghibli rides. Oh, I didn't know that. It's an independent company called G Kids. Yes. Who's behind all

the theatrical releases and now all the physical media releases. But Miyazaki also will not allow his movies to be streaming, whether for purchase or for free. Not allowed. Can you put it in a river? Can you put a DVD in a river? Yes, he would love that. He's very into that.

He's been clear. Right. Okay, great. Right. He will let his movies brook. Right. He won't let them stream. No, but I think we've talked about this.

I met the guy who's the head of GKids and was talking to him about it. And he was just like, there's no argument you can make that will sell him on it he just doesn't like the idea of the things streaming right and there's no amount of money that would change his mind because he already owns a house and he likes it yeah yeah that's he's got a modest house and he's like what more do i need he's like the judge that can't be bought in like a batman movie he's like right yeah i've got everything I want. A house, a chair, pencils. I've got like 200 pictures of airplanes. Right.

One tree. I've got one tree, and it's covered in pictures of airplanes. And just limitless brilliance. That's the other thing he's got. Yeah, no, but I mean, I think, I don't think that's ever going to change. And it's weird because the thing that has created is, A, these are some of the most torrented movies.

Sure. Yes. Now. They are stolen online. Right, because people are used to if I can't watch something this easily, I'll break the law. And on the flip side, they're now still some of the best-selling physical media. Of course, right. It's like the Disney Vault.

It drives people to, you know, it's like, yeah, right. Which is wild because I feel like it only recently became possible to get all of the, like, I would not have bought all these films piecemeal. I got the Miyazaki collection, like, the day it came out, which wasn't until, like, a few years ago. Like, it's a very new thing to be able to like grab all these. It was after Wind Rises yeah and then like a year after that

Disney let the rights go. Right. And so now they've all been re-released as piecemeal and everyone's waiting for the new releases to be recollected. Right. But I have to imagine that falls under something where he has approval over that. Right. I imagine there should be some reason

that GKids hasn't immediately put them all in one box. It'll happen. Yeah. I assume. He's got a new movie coming. Maybe at that point they can do it all again. Bad Santa 3. Bad as Santa.

Hardly Santa-ing. I don't know. Mononoke. Mononoke. Let's talk about the movie. Okay. Right? Yes.

Okay. It opens with some of the wildest shit I've ever seen. I could not believe. It really is a cold open, too, where you're like, oh, so it's like a guy in a, wait, what's happening? You know what I mean? It's like a water board open. It's like, they're like pouring ice water down your throat.

Especially since like... I'm trying to think like, you know, Porco Rosso. What does it open on? Pig sitting in a chair. Taking a nap. Magazine on his face. Taking a nap. Yeah.

Toro, what does that open with? Like some kids move into a new house and they run around. Right. Gentle. Right. Let's gently ease into this new world. This movie opens with a giant boar. Infested by demon worms.

Made of evil spaghetti. Correct. Infinitely writhing meat chuck. Yeah. And a battle. And a battle between a young prince and his

dad. Yes. Patriot. Yes. Right right yeah is that his dad i don't know i thought i don't know father figure sure a fatherly man um are you talking about the elk because i don't think the elk is his dad well well i mean let's say on the record let's say this though elk is daddy yeah it looks pretty cool elk in in this movie is kind of zaddy. Yeah. For an elk. For an elk. Yeah.

If we're talking about like Miyazaki forest spirits that can get it. Yeah, sure. And it's a long list. You know, I mean, Totoro's thick. Totoro is mad thick. Yeah. He's swole. He's swole.

Radish spirit. I don't know if you remember, but he can get it. Spirited Away is just loaded with hot spirits. This is the thing you maybe don't recall. I'm excited to rewatch. It's got a lot of hot spirits. And I don't mean because they're in a bath. Yeah. No face, but a ton of ass.

He's fighting spaghetti boy Ashitaka That's his name right Yeah Yes He's a village prince Yeah And what do we think

You know like 15th 16th century Japan I saw on Wikipedia It said the Muramachi Japan Sometime between 1336 And 1573 So somewhere in there.

Medieval Japan. Yes. And he gets a worm arm. He gets a worm arm from this battle. Right. He gets a, how do they call it? It's not a bite. It's not a rash.

But he's got a burn from the dark spirit. Yeah, like a curse. He's got a rash, but he's got a burn from the dark spirit. Yeah, like a curse. He's got a curse. He's got a curse because Shadow of the Colossus is this boar, but touches it mid-fight and gets a curse. Right. And so now he's got this evil in his arm. He's got an evil arm, and his arm occasionally, like Doctor Strange loves and tries to grab his sword and kill people. Right.

and tries to grab his sword and kill people. Right. This is also the point in the movie where I, on my first watch, realized it was not going to be like My Neighbor Totoro when the spaghetti boar fucking melts, like melts on the molecular level down to gore-covered bones. And I was like, oh, okay, okay, okay.

But then the movie totally chills out by having him decapitate people with arrows repeatedly. Their head just pops off. It just, and what I love about the violence in this movie, because it's a violent ass movie. It's very violent, and he really has never made a movie this violent. Like, Noseca and Porco Rosso have action.

Yeah. Yeah, but I don't know about violence. But this is full blown, yeah. He shoots a lot of arrows at samurai, and their heads and arms go flying off. But even that is done in what I feel like is such a, like, Ghibli-esque way where there's not sprays of blood. They just kind of turn into, like, ham hocks.

They just kind of turn into the perfect, like, little, like, cross-section of meat with a little circular bone in there with no blood and it's just like oh okay it's like it's fun it's a fun dismemberment it is weird too also like when the evil animals are like dripping with blood it doesn't look like blood is like spraying off of them it looks like the blood has just become part of their being if that makes any sense yes like they're just like and this is where i bleed it's there's so many like upsetting visuals in this movie, which is such a stark contrast to everything else that Ghibli and Miyazaki has made.

Right, because it's all about like, you know, on the complete opposite end of the spectrum is Ponyo where like every inch of the screen is filled with some beautiful thing. And in this one, like even the woods are, you know, arboreal and pretty,

but they also look like a place where if you step foot into them, you'll be killed in the most horrible way imaginable. Like there's so many uninviting things in this movie, not the least of which being the big spaghetti monsters.

Big spaghetti monsters are scary, but then even the benevolent things like the creepy little- The scariest, yeah. Yeah. creepy the scariest yeah yeah uh head yeah and the fucking like spirit of the forest right who is if i was a kid i would be scared of yeah the deer with the like you know red face but even like he's like smiling what's up with that the little the little twitchy uh face kodomo i believe kodomo yeah they're like the cute characters in the movie like they're the only characters in the movie who like graphically look kind of like adorable ghibli characters but also everything about how they move and sound is terrifying yeah i feel like it's

really cute how uh at the climax of the movie hundreds and hundreds of their corpses fall from the sky like so many snowflakes i think it's really cute and i want to buy a stuff i mean they're like a hop and a step away from like the little grudge monster yeah the little the little white boy yeah with the eyes yeah you know we talked about like in all of his movies there is usually like one big like animation like showcase thing where it's like um uh the bridge collapsing you know where like he like animates like a thousand splinters of wood or like the shirts ripping or whatever this like the most detailed kinetic kind of element is and this movie like starts with that with wild

spaghetti boar and then i'm like wow that's like that looks like it's a bitch to animate like there's so much writhing movement and detail around him right and then it turns out that that's just a repeated that's CGI no no no no is it isn't it yeah there's some there's some CGI for the wriggling this is the first movie where they use CGI interesting because I know

certainly with when you get to like the sort of water spirit at the end that looks like that has CG augmentation. I think it's just the first time he deigned to allow CG assistance. I was going to say, I had no idea how he did it because then they keep on having creatures be infested by spaghetti worms. Right. Like it just keeps happening. Exactly, yes.

Yeah. happening exactly yes yeah and yeah I'm just really if that mostly hand-drawn incorporates some use of computer animation for like five minutes of footage okay so yeah and always is a blend spirited away has it too with the flower there's yeah you know he starts to just sort of like inch towards the spaghetti worms looked hand-drawn to me was stuff at the end that looked a little CGI augmented. But he goes to the elder and she tells him,

look, I don't know if there's anything we can do. She's kind of like, right? Wait, you got one of those, what is it, evil arm?

Oh, wait, you're telling me it was a spaghetti bore? Oh, fuck. There's a book about that. Takes down book with giant skull and crossbones on it. You got EAS, evil arm syndrome? It's no good, very bad, don't do it.

So, yeah, he's got to go. They find out. Well, that's the thing. They're like, look, probably you're fucked. Right, right, right. There's a small chance if you go, like, into the deepest, darkest, spookiest parts of the forest, you might be able to find something. Yeah. But no promises.

And this is, I guess he lives in the nice place. Pretty good. He lives in, like, bucolic nice place. No. No? He lives in the place that 500 years ago was completely Hulkamania ran over it and decimated the entire village. I don't know that I would call that the nice place. Like that is a small, small, once ruined enclave of a lifestyle that no longer can exist in this version of Japan.

This movie actually, we gave it a hard time for falling into that eco-adventure genre. But I feel like it really explores a lot of stuff around that. Like, it doesn't just say like, these are the bad guys. They want the unobtainium from the, it's like, no one is bad.

Everyone is bad. No one's bad. Except for, except for maybe like the forces of humanity that we don't actually see in this, or maybe are represented by like the bad, uh, like samurai forces that come in but like his little village is a symptom of this like rough transition of a pre-industrialized you know medieval environment like metals and things like that and like mining the forest and chopping things down but they're like yeah we're trying to live here and we're just trying to live and not be yeah and we are disruptive like that and like mining the forest and chopping things down. But they're like, we're trying to live here.

We're just trying to live and not be, yeah. And we are disruptive. Like that is, we are the fucking iron ball that's in the bore that gave him worms, right? Right. And you're in one of those messy like transition periods between like cyclical societal resets where people are like, what do we do now?

What's humanity like? Yeah, right. now what what's what's humanity like yeah right yeah but i feel like that's why this movie rules more yes like you're saying like much more than fern gully where the demon is just a pollution monster or avatar like where it's like no but david actually can i say i don't know if you picked up on it because it's very subtle please do your bit the villain villain. I'm so excited. The villain in Ferngully is like a pollution monster. What's his name again, please? You always forget, and I always have to look it up.

It's Tim Curry. It's Tim Curry. His name's not Paluto. It's not Paluto, but like, you know, it's a, oh, Jesus. I always also forget how stupid he looks. Hexus. Wow. Hexus is not great.

He's smoke. Yeah. Yeah. He's a smoky guy. He's a smoky, toxic guy. Rather than that, the villains here are just like what we have done. We're living 600 years on or whatever, and we're like, we know what we did. Right.

This is just the beginning of that we're just this is the infestation it's so brilliant how ashitaka is like not one of the uh like parties in this conflict like ashitaka is an outside observer from this cloister that you know wants nothing to do with it but it's been pulled into it because the spaghetti boar was turned evil by this iron ball that somebody shot into it and now like it's like they are getting the splash damage of global warming or whatever even though like they had no part in it whatsoever like he's being pulled in but doesn't doesn't give a shit about industrialization versus preservation no like that's the thing like

everyone in this movie is kind of just trying to survive Like there's no one trying to like Like seize Great power You know I think you make a case that Bebo's character Is not great Well Bebo's a little stinker I mean let me say

This guy I feel like with him He's like an opportunist, right? Right. He's like, look, I got to live. I'll grab what I can. Because in the grand scheme of things, he could be a lot more evil than he is. He's kind of unambitious.

He's a pain at the end when he's grabbing the head and stuff. Yeah, I mean that's fucked up. Right, right. But it also just feels like, as you said, he's an opportunist. He's like, I don't know. What's the best thing I can do at this moment? He's got no overarching scheme. He's like a bad Santa.

He's kind of like a bad... It's like if Santa was, but he's usually good. Try to describe him. He's like sort of roly-poly. Jolly, usually. Jolly. Carries around the surprise things in his sack or basket. I'm writing this script, it's like untitled Santa who's not so good project,

but I can't think of a name for it. You know what I mean? No good Santa. No, that doesn't sound right. Wrong Santa is a different movie. Wrong Santa would be very frightening. Who is that coming down the chimney? That's the wrong Santa.

It's me, the sacrifice. Why do you have seven arms? That's the wrong Santa. Oh, arms? That's the wrong Santa. Oh boy, we got the wrong Santa. Why are there teeth coming out of your torso? He's just all teeth. That's what wrong Santa is. He's that tooth guy.

Remember the tooth monster? That's just all teeth? What are you talking about? From the show. Yeah, from the show. You know, the show that was like scary things. I'm going to find it for you now, and you're going to be very upset with that.

There's a show with a scary thing? What is this? It's a Tooth Man. But what's this from? It was like the creepy pasta. I think it was SyFy did like an adaptation. It was SyFy. It was called Channel Zero.

It was on SyFy, and it was adapting like the best creepy pastas. Wow. And one of them was like, what if there was a guy who was all teeth? Nothing else. Delivering presents to good kids' houses. And there he is. So his punch could turn into a bite? I like that.

That was a superpower. Wow. Tooth powers. From Candle Cove. That's what that was called. Alright. Candle Cove. Remember Candle Cove? So anyway, and then Ashitaka just starts like splitting dudes in half. Yes. Right. Right.

Yes. He has superpowers now because he's got one. I do wish he had like an oversized arm. That would have been fun. Like Freddy Rodriguez and Lady in the Water. Exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Like if he's like double arm, like one of his arms is just double size. But I like his weird kind of like gross burn he's got left. And I like when sort of like it activates and then you have the sort of swirling sort of smoke and aura around it. I like that otherwise it's kind of like, oh, this is my shitty arm, you know? Yeah, right, right, right. So he, yeah, he meets Billy Bob. I'm just gonna call him billy bob now yeah uh who sort of like fills him in on great forest spirit iron town right all that kind of stuff there is there is very subtly a chekhov's gun set up set up of the emperor wants the animal the forest spirit's

head yes because it's supposed to give you eternal life. Yeah. I'm sure that will come in handy later. Yes. Which, by the way, I don't think it does. I think that head does not give you eternal life. No. It just makes a giant sludge monster go everywhere. Yeah. Like, immediately bad when that head comes off.

Yeah. Very quick response time. It's not like a monkey's paw thing where, like, it turns out that it's bad to take it. It's just right away, red alert. But anyway. Yeah, and then he goes to Irontown. Come on, let's talk Irontown, guys. I don't know, what else should we... Fill me in if I'm forgetting

plot things. No, I think you're there. Yeah, I think we get to Irontown. I mean, he sees the fight, right? We are introduced to the what is it? The Lord Asana. Who is the other army in here?

Like, the samurai who they have to, like, fight off. Oh, right, yeah. Is just going into a town and just massacring everybody in it. And that is where he sort of discovers his super strength when he starts splitting dudes yes yes the boar clan I'm a big fan of oh no I was talking about the humans oh I know but I want to bring in

a group of guys that I like a lot Jago's boar clan who hide out in boar skins yeah oh the boar skins is the coolest visual in the entire yeah but when they have like what is it like the blow darts peeking out of the eye oh, the boar skins is the coolest visual in the entire movie. Yeah, but when they have like, what is it, like the blow darts peeking out of the eye holes of the boar?

Pretty spooky. Pretty spooky stuff. Yeah. Very, very spooky. Also, just, well, we're jumping yeah, I just like the boar daddy. What's the boar daddy's name? Big boar? Keith David? Oh, yes. Just being like, no, these are definitely the boars.

They're back. Great. I smell them. I was worried, but this is definitely the boars. They stink like Pumbaa. They are all singing Hakuna Matata. What are you talking about? These guys have boar skin. How could they be anything else but boars? They don't have visible moving legs. Sometimes

boars do that. They have no eyes. Their skin is flapping. In the wind? Your entire clan is dead. Yeah, man. Occam's razor. They came back. I'm telling you, man.

They stink like boars. They gotta be boars. But Irontown, okay? Okay. We meet Lady Eboshi. She's kind of the coolest character because she's villainous but not bad. Right. Because she's villainous but not bad. And she's, like, impressive and strong and fascinating. But, like, you know, causing –

You know, she's complicated. There's just never a character like this in an animated movie that children could watch. Everyone's looking out for themselves. I'd be afraid for my children. Looking out for their people. Yeah, sure. It's competitive time. It's a battle to stay alive.

Yeah. Yeah. competitive time it's a battle to stay alive yeah yeah well i mean also people who are sort of on the outside of you know the the culture that was growing in in other uh more like established places like uh lepers making uh firearms to help you know protect and maybe even grow irontown and uh you know prostitutes who were coming to do work. Like everybody, everybody in the town was like effectively on equal footing. They had, you know, women working in the forges in a, you know, which probably wasn't happening anywhere else. Like there was a she was trying to create this perfect civilization of complete equality and wild growth.

perfect civilization of complete uh equality and wild growth and the only way you can do it is that deep in the forest or whatever like wherever untouched from uh main mainline civilization and like does everything she does to well supposedly does everything she does to you know protect those people that's at least what she claims and and says whether or not she's like exploiting that idea i feel like the movie maybe doesn't touch of like uh you know i am defended because i am making a community of uh ostracized people and isn't that nice but really i just want you know i want to take over the world with my good hard weapons that are made of the hard stuff that we found in the sand that that hard stuff is helpful yeah that's true that iron sand but that's the other big thing of just like at this point in time, it's like what is the best strategy for staying alive?

Right. Like everyone's trying to figure out like what's the best way to form a society so that we don't get killed by other people or boars? This first scene where she takes Ashdok on like a tour, shows him like how the town operates and how, how they are achieving this, this balance and this equality. The thing that stuck out to me this time is she like walks him up to her private chambers and walks him through this big ass garden that she has this big,

big, big garden that she has her front yard. So like, if you were ready to write her off as the person who just wants to obliterate nature for, you know, for profits's sake like i think it kind of takes the legs out of that argument because it's like you know it's not like she doesn't care completely but she wants to maybe feel a little more control over nature you know

sure she pitches it as like they started it she pitches it like we need stuff and we got the stuff and then wolves and boars started to like come and try and murder us. And we're people. So that's not good. I would not love it if there was a boar that was the size of a building that was trying to hurt me. It sounded like a car sized boar. I don't know. How big are those boars? They're car sized.

Yeah. Big ol' boars. Big ol' boars. The leper scene I find very unnerving. And touching. Yes. Like, you know, or like, yeah, unnerving is good because it's genuinely unsettling or frightening or whatever to think about this. Miyazaki apparently was like, he is to this day moved by the plight of lepers in Japan.

Wow. the plight of lepers in japan wow and he was like i wanted to like deal with the incurable disease quote unquote caused by bad karma which is like you know an old outdated belief is is that still a serious issue in japan i don't know about serious but like it exists you can't get over it though yeah yeah the choice to animate the lepers speaking where their heads are completely covered in bandages. Right. But the mouth of the bandage

sort of flaps a little bit. Yeah. You know? So it's not just like some disembodied voice coming from under gauze. It's like, oh right,

there's like a person there who's emoting whose face you're never gonna see. Yeah, it's frightening. Yeah. But also,

as Griffin is saying, like, just immediately, like, every Disney movie movie she would i don't know she'd do something she's not cruella deville exactly like she's not wearing the skin of the boar and like don't i look so beautiful right because because vanity is bad anyway she would get to sing her one song about like by the way i'm evil right it would be like that would be the name of the song right verse one by the way, I'm evil. Right. It would be like. That would be the name of the song. Right. Verse one. By the way, I'm evil. Verse two. I don't like grass and trees.

I don't know. Right. On and on. Like that. I eat squirrels whole. Minnie Driver also like sells it. So she's like just cool as shit. Like she sounds so cool and collected and seems like the perfect like representation of this person who just like handles shit and has made something out of nothing.

This was the time when it felt like Minnie Driver was going to be like a major force. She's like coming off an Oscar nom when she's coming out in America. Like, yeah. Right. And this is one of those. Romilly, my much younger sister, saw Good Will Hunting for the first time a couple years ago and had that reaction she had sometime. How did she like those apples?

She liked those apples. She actually liked them apples a lot. But she said to me, she was like, what happened to Minnie Driver? Yeah. Like when she sees a movie that's from before she was born or when she was too young. Right, like what happened to this person?

There's someone giving that much of a movie star performance and she's like, why has that person not been a presence in my conscious life? And I was like, I don't know what to tell you. Like, it was, she's one of those people where it kind of feels like we did her dirty. Yeah, I don't know. There was that weird fucking thing

where Damon dumped her on Oprah. What? Do you remember this? Man, for a blandly charming man, Matt Damon is a lot of weird shit on TV. He's got some baggage. Because he and Minnie Driver were dating after Good Will Hunting, and everyone loved it because it was like, oh, the people from the movie found true love. And then a year after that, I want to say, he went on Oprah, and Oprah was like, what about you and Minnie?

And he was like, yeah, it's over between us. And she's like, that was the first I had heard of it. Sheesh. Matt. Matt. Why is he always doing crazy things? I don't know. But she, this was like that moment where it felt like she was going to be a major, major presence.

But she is phenomenal at villains. Yes. And I do think she is good at finding the human core to negative characters beyond the lights. I was going to say, I think was one of my nominees that year. Yes, she's fantastic in that. She's on that show now. I don't watch it. She was on Speechless.

Speechless just got canceled. Oh, just got canceled. Yeah. Well, that's too bad. People like that show show now. I don't watch it. She was on Speechless. It just got canceled. Oh, it just got canceled. Yeah. Well, that's too bad. People like that show, right? She should have played Thanos. I mean, you're making this point. You think she should play Thanos?

No, because you're saying- Interestingly, she dated Josh Brolin for a while. Did she really? Yeah. I think they were married. They were engaged. They were engaged. When was that?

2001. Weird. Before he marries Diane Lane? Yes. In 2004. I'd have to ask Josh. Yeah, you'd have to call him up. Takes a toll.

I don't know, I can't do a Thanos. Takes a toll. This day carries a heavy toll. That's what he said. Takes a toll. I don't know. It's weird. For a character so iconic, there is no Thanos impression.

You know? It's weird for characters so iconic there is no Thanos impression, you know When I snap my fingers I want sugar and water just for the listener ben's uh checking his phone what could be on there that's more interesting than this ben is doing tax don't bring up taxes to me okay david's i'm not stressed about taxes it's just famous last words i I shouldn't have said that. Yeah, okay. Anyway, yeah, I just, I love Irontown. It feels like a D&D, I mean, D&D podcast.

Oh, yeah, for sure. It feels like a great location, Irontown. Yeah. Like a cool city. Yeah, I mean, this is true of like most of Miyazaki's movies. I feel this way, like really strongly about Spirited Away, about this idea like that the worlds that these movies introduce feel like they are going to go on after the credits in yeah

even when you stop watching it like it is the world is the world is so um uh there are so many like crystallized facts about this world and there are so many systems and engines driving this world that like you get the impression that like this thing was going before the movie started and it will continue to go after the movie ends well which is a really good you know and yeah and not to harp on the leper thing but talking about what would be different in a disney version of this movie probably wouldn't have any lepers You don't introduce an element like that if the hero isn't going to somehow save, solve, or cure them. Yeah, he finds like the leprosy leaf. Right. They mash it into a paste and it cures them. Right, right. Clear their skin. Like that's just an

element you're introducing. An exfoliation spirit. You're like this is part of the like tapestry of this city and here are people who live a very Very difficult life And then the movie goes on And when the movie ends you think about the fact That they are just still there Wrapped in bandages building guns But then this is also a movie where you're like okay alright

Iron Town this is a lot to handle but I think I can I'm beginning to grasp Like all the various moving parts Of this movie and then like the big wolf shows up with a girl whose face is, she's got a crazy mask and blood on her face. She's sucking blood out of the wolf's leg. Yeah, and you're like, okay, oh, okay, so who's this now? This is a whole other thing?

And you're like, that's Princess Mononoke? And they're like, no, Mononoke is kind of an idea. Yeah. Yeah. She's got a different name, but they also sort of call her Princess Mononoke. But right, that really just sort of call her Princess Mononoke. But right, that really just sort of means like spirit princess.

Yeah, it's like king of the campus, you know? Right, her name is not Mononoke. No, son. Right, right. Son? Yes. In another very dark element, her parents were frightened by this wolf and just threw her at the wolf. Do you think that they had an issue with the wolf being 12 feet tall?

You think the size was the issue? It's a big wolf. It's a big wolf. Yeah. When a wolf that big challenges you, you have no other option. You have to yeet your baby right at the wolf. Because the wolf already won.

Right. The wolf is bigger. So the baby has always belonged to the wolf. Because the wolf already won. The wolf is bigger. So the baby has always belonged to the wolf. Do you think it was the goal was, were they trying to distract the wolf by giving him the baby or were they trying to use the baby as like a projectile? Where they're like,

maybe if we hit the wolf hard enough with the baby we'll knock him out uh i mean when my son was an infant right yes did you throw your son at a wolf what was the first time you threw your son right right or any or any large creature that was maybe of god of some sort i don't know if that if everyone listening to this knows who i am so i'm going to go ahead and clarify that I've never thrown myself. It's your word against ours. I have to imagine.

This is our house, our rules. I have to imagine his ballistic properties left something to be desired. Really? Babies tend to be a little squishy. Soft bones, soft bones. My parents threw me at a really aggressive looking cockroach. Well, that would do it. That would probably.

Did you squish it or did you bounce right off? They raised me. Now, Griffin, you have not met Ben. So for context. He was raised by roaches. Yes. And we genuinely have no idea whether that's true or not. But this is a man I've known for almost a decade.

And I don't know. Your version of this is joe's apartment then that's your princess yeah that's your that's your mid-90s mtv generation movie right right ben's been living a pretty steady joe's apartment life from childhood to present day should we reboot joe's apartment as ben's apartment should that be on our blank check pictures? Yeah. If by reboot you mean should we place cameras in Ben's apartment? Yeah, should we just film Ben? Yeah, right. Sell it to MTV. It's a reality show, baby. That's cheap production.

They love unscripted. Oh, they do. He's a roach boy, so representation. Right, right. That helps. Not a lot of roach boys out there. Not a ton of roaches on TV. Unless Jay Roach has got a new political target.

You know what I'm saying? He does, but it's a movie. Yeah, well, it's for TV. Oh, no, he didn't do the TV one. No, he's doing the movie Roger Ailes. Okay, Griffin, what do you think about the new popular Hollywood trend of everyone making movies and TV shows about Roger Ailes? Everyone's favorite character. Fox, deceased Fox News executive.

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. You're bored of it? I'm bored of trying to think of an opinion. Yeah. About it.

I've been sitting here trying to think of an opinion, and then my mind was like, why don't you think about the very big meatballs that you have in your refrigerator instead? So then I started thinking about those meatballs, and I couldn't – I apologize. I couldn't pretend to care. No, no apologies necessary. I assume – I have not seen the show, but I assume that it is mostly like Roger Ailes walks into a room,

and they're, like, doing a presentation, and he's like, how about Eviler? Right? And then the movie is going to be the same thing. What if we lied? Yeah, yeah. Someone is like, I thought it was like a TV channel where we, like, do channel where we like do the news and he's like okay okay okay but what if it was evil and they were like great we'll make millions that's the movie right that's the whole movie is there one makeup artist who is just making bank yeah the dick cheney movie and like any

anytime they need a very bad looking he's your jowl older gentleman. He's the jowliest makeup guy out there. Jowl master. He did Churchill too. He did Darkest Hour. He's all jowly up. It's the same. Hollywood has one set of prosthetic jowls that is just going around the horn. It just fills them with yogurt or whatever and they wobble around.

You know what's so funny? There are actors who look like that. That's true. And seemingly every time someone makes a movie or a show like this, they're like, no, I've got to pick someone who looks really different. Right, because then it's more fun. It's like, wow. But like Damien Lewis playing Toronto Mayor Doug Ford.

He's doing that? They did it. Oh, Jesus. They made a movie. And you're like, oh, notoriously svelte and handsome man. Oh, my God. Yeah. I'm looking at the pictures.

Okay. It just feels like such a burden to give someone jowls when jowls occur in nature. Some of these, Ben, are fake. Okay, there we go. All right, anyway. I heard Christian Bale, he just kind of puffed his cheeks up naturally. It was all method. Yeah, yeah.

He's like a bullfrog. He can just inflate. The whole movie is him holding his breath. That's why he says his lines really quickly. Think we should be evil. Don't worry, I'll take care of most of the stuff, Mr. President. Shoot my friend in the face. So Princess Mononoke.

Yeah. Yeah, so come on, Sen. She attacks Irontown. Yes. She has a big fight She's raised by wolves She and Ash can knock each other out Yeah she's raised by wolves

No allegiance to humans No dislikes them actually quite a great deal Things are bad And it's subtle It takes a lot of interpretation But she will say something like I don't like humans At all That was when I started to go like I feel like maybe what they're teeing up is that

she doesn't like she like wolves she like what yeah she likes she does like forest i really like how like ugly the fights are yeah in this movie the first the first like fight that you get with with san in it is uh on this like mountainside and they are going up this very narrow path and here she comes on a wolf's back with two wolves flanking, just like running down the mountain. And instantly you're like, this is going to be really fucking bad. All these guys have,

all these guys have ancient guns and they're on a very narrow path on a mountainside. Like this is going to suck for everyone involved. And sure enough, like dudes go flying off the mountain. Dudes get chomped to bits. A wolf gets shot and goes flying off the mountain. Dudes get chomped to bits. A wolf gets shot and goes flying off the mountain. Like instantly,

it's so fast and ugly and not like this neat little choreographed ballet. It's just what would happen if three big, big wolves fought a bunch of dudes with ancient rifles on the side of a mountain. Yeah, they're inelegant in a way that's interesting

because the movie doesn't have these like, oh, that's fucking awesome moments. Yeah. Like I think he doesn't want people to get off on the violence. Right, even though every time someone shows up, you're like imagining the cheaper version of this movie where San is like the cool hero, right? Right.

And instead he's like, she's frightening. Like she is literally what someone raised by wolves would be like right like she is close to inhuman yes and like ashitaka you want to be like all right i'm with this guy right he's like the audience surrogate but he's like well for one he has an evil arm but he's kind of dopey yes i don't know he he's he's genuinely baffled by most of the things going on. Well, it's because he doesn't understand why it can't be like how it is. Right. Where's the harmony, guys?

Where's that balance? Yeah. Pretty soon after the mountainside fight and after he meets everybody in town and sees San with her blood face across the river. She's got blood face. She got blood face. She got blood face. It's big. It's on the poster. She's got blood face. She got blood face. She got blood face. It's big.

It's on the poster. She's got a blood face. Is when like the big fight in town happens. And the whole time Ashitaka's like, how can I make this all stop? It's like, dude, you've been in this town for like 15 minutes. And instantly he's like, let me just get in here.

Hey, this fight is bad. And have you thought about not doing it? I feel like everybody in that entire sequence is like, dude. We're into this fight. We want to do it do it like this fight yeah this is it we like this a lot we live rooting for this fight he he's trying to pass the the dent act he wants to make crime illegal that's crime illegal much like harvey do you know about the dent act griffin we've talked about this uh where it makes crime you're not supposed to be in the dark knight rises where it's set after the heroic historic historic passage of the Dent Act,

which made crime illegal. Before that, there had been crime in Gotham. But then Harvey Dent died, and they were like, ah, Dent Act. We should name an act after him about how crime is bad. Because people didn't like the crime, but they were like, well, what are you going to do about it? It's legal.

Batman comes in, but he can't do it all. And the Dentact gets passed. Where's Falcone? Why? He robbed and bombed a bank. Yeah, but like, that's fine. That's his prerogative. I'm checking the books for like a Dentact.

Nope, nothing here. He's not a Dentact, dude. Hey, you're just beating up that scarecrow guy. What did he do? He threw nightmare dust in people's faces. That's fine. Yeah, that's okay. We liked it.

We liked it. Some people like that. We love having terrible nightmares. The craziest thing is that Gotham had a police force. Yeah. They just didn't have anything to do. Yeah. They just sat around being like, just like,

Dentact, are you going to do anything? Are you going to get on that? Nothing happened. Every morning they take out their phone, they check the weather, and then they go, let's see if crime is still legal. And then in Dark Knight Rises, it is illegal,

and then Bane blows up a football field, and they check, and they're like, Dentact, not legal to blow up a football field. Get him, fucking Batman. What a great movie. I mean, that's why Bane's the greatest villain of all. Right, right, right. Because he's the one who dares defy the Dent Act. Right, the other guys, they can claim ignorance.

Right. Ra's al Ghul can be like, I thought this was cool. I thought everyone was going to like this. Burn London to the ground. What happens next? He takes Sen to the forest. Oh, there's a badass sword fight. There is one badass sword fight in this movie.

There's a truly badass sword fight, which I believe was the reason I wanted to see this movie because I saw some trailer that had this sword fight and it looked really cool. And also I was just a big Billy Crudup fan really was that I don't think I was a big Billy Crudup fan it is weird it uh we're gonna say sorry San using this like you know just like dagger and just wild wolf like just attacking every you know quarter of a second versus Eboshi who's just moving like smooth as shit like always

and blocking everything and then after that happens for a while Ashitaka just like goes in and gut checks both of them like fight over it is bye it is cool when he just like runs out of the village and they like shoot him and shit and nothing that whole sequence is so long he gets arm power it is very long

and then but then takes her to the forest. Who shows up? Crazy forest antler, scary face spirit man. Who also at night is a giant. Yes. Yeah, giant ghost. All of the above.

Yes. Right? Yes. Now, no one in the movie says any of these things. You just kind of have to put it together. They kind of generally talk about the forest spirit. Yeah, but you could think that it was not a literal elk like right being but when he shows up it is very much like leans

over to girlfriend like that's the forest i feel like this the feet stepping and then growing pretty cool pretty cool and that sort of gives me a sense that that's a nature. Right, that this isn't just a regular animal. Yeah. Well, and also his head looks delicious. It does. It looks like the kind of head you could eat and get immortality from. Yeah, yeah. I will say the second he came on screen, I went to Amazon and was like, do they have any

forest spirits heads? Really? I was like, I would love a forest spirit head. Oh, sous vide that? Yeah. Like $1.29 for two hours? I's checking fresh direct. I was like, does anyone put it into Yelp? That is fall-off-the-bone immortality. Yeah, right. It's like side effects

you will live forever. Yeah, really juicy. It tends to, as long as you don't overcook it, it's really moist. Also, you'll live forever if you eat this. Yeah, look at that fire spirit. He's cool. I'm just looking at pictures with Ben right now.

There's big fire spirit. Yeah. That's the big boy. The Night Walker, I think is what he's called. Right? Yes. Yeah, he's cool. So he shows up and his head is on his body.

For now. Yeah, he's got it. He's got his own head. Right. Yeah. He's a cool guy when's got his own head. Right. Yeah. He's a cool guy when he's got his head. It's when he doesn't have it

that he's a real, he throws a real shit head. He does turn into a bit of a stinky baby when he doesn't have his head. That's true. And overrides all of humanity. Can you blame him?

I don't know. Can you? I think if someone chopped my head off, I would just react by being dead and not doing anything. That's true.

Yeah. I think I'd be pretty chill if someone chopped my head off. And would just react by being dead and not doing anything. That's true. Yeah. I think I'd be pretty chill if someone chopped my head off. And we also meet the boars, right? Yes. The boar, the crazy blind boar god, Okoto. Played by Keith David. Played by Keith David in the dub, who is the greatest voice actor ever? The greatest, yes.

Right? Yeah. Also one of the greatest physical actors ever. Kind of one of the best actors, period. He amazing actor i love yes i love him you know yes on the screen as well but he really is he's like the greatest voice actor of all time uh yeah yeah i mean he's got one like mel blanc the greatest voices in history right i was my my brother and i were talking about uh what is the best keith david movie and we were like well is the about what is the best Keith David movie. And we were like, well, is the question what's the best movie he's been in or what's the best use of Keith David?

And then even when we tried to file it under the ladder, we were like, well, but there's so many different ways you can use Keith David. It's hard to come up with a binary best use. Yeah, no. I want as much Keith David. Right. In everything. All the time. He is in Armageddon with Billy Bob. He is. He's the cat in Coraline. That's true. He's Cameron Diaz's father in

Something About Mary. If we're doing vocal performance, Dr. Facilier in Princess and the Frog is like That is a phenomenal performance. Probably it for me. But if we're going best movie overall, I don't think it's the best movie but The Thing is one of my favorite movies. Probably it for me. But if we're going best movie overall, I don't think it's the best movie, but The Thing is one of my favorite movies. That's The Thing.

You're like, well, that's maybe the best film he's been in. That might be the best movie he's ever been in, but he's not a star. But he's not a big feature. Right. But then They Live gives you a lot of Keith David, but it's a more restrained Keith David, which is still a good flavor.

It's good. It's good. But then also, isn't he the voice of Ken Burns' jazz, which is just like 10 straight hours of Keith David talking to you about jazz? I was not aware of this. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah.

Narrator. Keith David? Yeah. Talk about jazz for 10 hours? How many hours we got here? We got 10 episodes. So I'm going to guess. Let me just open up my iCal and let me schedule for tonight.

Oh, I'm sorry. It's 1140 minutes. So, you know. Okay. Let me time that. Do people, do humans even live that long? Which is 19 hours. So it's 19 hours of jazz talk from Kiki.

Just give me one second. Sorry, guys. Give me one second here in my iCal. And I am scheduling one continuous 11-hour orgas for later tonight there we go okay you guys want to come over and watch a Ken Burns jazz with me if that's on the iCal you can you can do that by yourself I'm good really okay I'll have fun I'll go yeah I'll go I like I like I like uh jazz you like the 19 hour PBS documentaries about jazz? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool.

That's my favorite. That's your favorite? So you usually are disappointed when you go to the movie theater. That's your favorite genre. I've never seen a movie. Oh, right. Sorry. I have watched a 19-hour documentary about jazz.

Hey, you want to go see Spider-Man 2? Is it a 19-hour documentary about jazz? No, it's like two hours. It's like Spider-Man battling Doc Ock. Not even like a small part of it? Like there's not just like a 19-hour section in the middle? That's a documentary about Jack? I almost got tricked into seeing Whiplash.

Oh, boy. Luckily, I sat down in a very comfortable seat in a big dark room, and I had a big bowl of popped corn. And I was was like wait a minute wait a minute this is a movie i've seen movies on tv shows i need to get out of here you realize this isn't gonna be 19 hours at all thankfully just in time you realize that that was not your tempo no it's not quite your tempo oh boy yeah what else is going on in a moment okay the boars are going to fight.

Yeah, we didn't really talk about the scene where he manages to rescue San and get her out of it. She invaded the village to kill Boshi. They fight. He breaks up the fight. He busts out. He's like, I'm taking San out of here. Y'all can let me do it or not, whatever. And then somebody shoots him. Right, to give not a shot.

Right. Yeah. And then somebody shoots him. Right, to give not a shot. Right. Yeah. And he gets shot straight through his tum-tum, lifts up this huge-ass wooden gate using his spaghetti powers,

and then Forest Spirit saves him. But doesn't take the curse away, which I think is a weird choice by the Forest Spirit. Fixes the belly wound, leaves that nasty spaghetti mess on his arm. Well, has he really earned the right to have his curse taken away at this point? You know, there's a difference between like saving a guy's life and decursing him. You could make a good case for that he had earned it by rescuing. Yes, I think you could.

But I guess he hasn't learned his lesson yet, which is if you take the spirit creature's head, then things go very bad. That is the ultimate lesson of this movie. Right. You got to. You got to learn it. It's a very simple sort of moralistic story. It's like a just so story. Right.

Don't take heads. All children need to learn at a certain age that you should not decapitate a forest spirit. Don't take anyone's head. I think it's a good lesson for kids. No, I think this movie's gone a little more specific. It's fine grains. Yeah. No, it's like, isn't this movie kind of about like, you know, we were kind of a pain in

the ass and then push shame to shove and we fucking took the fucking forest spirit's head. And that was kind of a pivotal moment for us. We put it back, but it was kind of too late. Yeah, now nature knows. We violated something completely sacrosanct. Everything worked out fine, but if you look at the, hey nature, scoreboard, what's up?

Just so you know. You can undo it. You can put the head back, but you can't really undo it. Nature now knows how we behave when the chips are down. And it's not a pretty look. That's why this movie is not my favorite Miyazaki because it is so intense and so naughty that I rarely want to like,

naughty, I mean, not naughty. It's an intense watch. Yeah, it's an intense watch. That I rarely want to put it onto, right, right, right, just to have fun. But I love that even scary boar god who's all fucked up, we did this to him.

Like, you know what I mean? Even though he's sort of like a quasi-villain in the third act there, like, it's like a human sickness that's been visited on him. And it's so great. Like, that scene I think is soon after, like, the boar clan trying to attack the Irontown forces and just getting fucked up.

And even, like, the wolf clan was like hey don't do it you're gonna be absolutely just destroyed and uh they go ahead with it and in the last time you saw okoto he was like presented as this wise yes keep david yeah like this this wise patriarch of this clan who when he finds out that that Ashitaka killed his buddy, this god, he was like, wow, thank you for doing that. If I see you again, I am going to have to kill you. But he presents it in this very wise way. And then the next time you see him, everybody in his clan just got killed.

He's got some of this spaghetti stuff. He's corrupted by the forces of just not wanting to be dead. And then you see, oh, maybe's not this like untouchable wise because now he's just like afraid and will believe that anything just will believe anything if it means he gets to stay alive right right right uh and it's it's such a like brilliant like switch where you're like the first time you see him oh this guy's great what a wise this is the wizard of oz who's coming to save save that and then it's like no no no don't kill me i'm gonna charge i'm gonna kill everything uh it's it's interesting everyone's just trying to survive and it brings it back to that first wormy boar first spaghetti yeah yeah right like how that

right could have happened yeah yeah corrupts us all did we forget anything this is the another reason why this is the another reason why this is not my favorite is I feel like the movie kind of drags a little bit at this part like right after you get all the good

San Ashitaka like hanging out with the wolves then like then a bunch of stuff happens yeah I am not the showdown at the end

is busy this is easily his longest movie I think yeah this is 215 yeah which most of his movies are like pretty

pretty tight 90 they're starting to get longer though because like spirit away is like a good two hours uh wind rises is like two hours howls is like two you know like at this point is a 19 hour documentary about jazz at this point he's sort of like okay you know like i'm the master of japanese entertainment for the last 50 years i can I can maybe take two hours to tell my stories. Sure. We did jump over the scene where Moro has a conversation with Ashitaka after he like wakes up in their den and goes outside and it's nighttime. And it's just him and this giant wolf goddess.

And she's like, Hey, you should just like jump off this mountain. She's like, so great. Like Sana's like, well, the forest spirit likes him, so I'm sure he's okay. And Sana's like, Hey, or Moro's like so great like sana's like well the forest spirit likes him so i'm sure he's okay and sana's like hey or moro's like hey why don't you come over here i'll bite your whole head off

and eat you i know that you're trying really hard to stay alive but i just want to just like crazy pitch i my mouth is very big and it has a lot of teeth it's so big and you love you love my daughter i think she's into you but i just want to come and eat half your body. What if you just die so hard? Like the hardest anyone has ever died. Have you ever done it? Can you say empirically that you know you don't like it?

Maybe just die a little bit. But you can't put the, you know, toothpaste back in the tube. When you die? I feel like that's what this movie is about. Just in general. Like we already, even though you have this big epic battle of good versus evil and you have these like heroes

that you're rooting for, like it's not at the end of the day like everything is fine. So you're saying I should stop recycling. Right, exactly. No, no. No, it's more just sort of like,

yes, the forest is still here and we can try and live in harmony with it, but it is going to be like very difficult battle it's what Griffin said the scoreboards already up they've taken note right like however this ends

this battle the war has like will linger it's it's it is why I think this is the best of the eco adventures is like it's it is the point of the movie at the end of it is not uh this like bald face like we are bad to nature and we need to start being better about it yeah

it is it is about traditionally the only way this has worked is when there has been some sort of given sustainable give and take with nature right it's not like it's not this like uh annihilate like humanity's desire to to uh grow and uh take what it needs to appease itself it's like yeah you're gonna take what you need sometimes it's all about like figuring out a way that is is somewhat sustainable it's not like whoa go nature whoo go go nature you're so great because in this one the nature also is a villain right it's terrifying and uncontrollable right yeah that's the crazy thing because in most of those sort of eco-adventure movies it's like there's a group of people who are like i don't know i think nature's bad and then the heroes are like

no we like it and nature is impartial for sure right they're just sort of fighting for or against the idea of the thing and in this movie it's like no nature has a competitive relationship with us like nature prioritizes its own needs above our continued existence right and our existence is the more there of us that there are is going to be a problem and we're bad humans are bad we're not great very bad we're not great yeah humans but so are boars and apes very true oh yeah the apes we didn't talk about the apes they're like gorilla gods who look like they're made of mounds of clay yep um with glowing eyes yeah um and uh they they much like me understand that everything's bad and everyone's the worst.

Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah. They're kind of you. Yeah. I forgot about. They're very like, look, I, there's come on.

This sucks. Right. They're just like, Trump is president. Yeah. This is just a, I'm not going to be in a good mood ever again. This is when the sort of Akira stuff starts happening, which is like secretly like, that's my, that's my my that's your jam like big big wild body horror like the end of akira is like i i i am like glued to the screen at the end

of that movie because it is visually just the wildest shit ever that's like lovecraftian where it's like trying to represent something that you cannot understand right right and and everything like from san getting like swept up in uh the the big boar's evil spaghetti that is just like like shooting through her hands it's like horrifying yeah uh and ashitaka is just like jumping into the spaghetti and uh and then of course the the climax of the movie like everything gets so fucked up at this part of the movie, even more so than it has been in the rest of it. Yeah, it's like the end of Annihilation. It's just like they become, like, consumed by, like, these forces. Also very Lovecraftian.

Yes. But it is. It's that body horror thing, but, like, extended to, like, nature. It's like body horror for the planet we live on. Right. Planet horror? I don't know. Planet horror.

Yeah, planet horror. Why not? Why not planet horror? Hexus. That's his name. And then, of course, as we all know, this movie ends with all of them dabbing and How You Like Me Now plays.

Right. That was how it went? It wasn't something to do with the forest monster or whatever? No, I'm pretty sure they do the doggie. Right, they do the doggie, and they dance to the Macarena. Right, someone teaches them how to doggie. Well, if memory serves, Lady Eboshi shoots the forest spirit's head, and it falls to the ground, and then everybody starts doing the doggie

because they're happy because nobody liked the forest spirit, right and that's he was weird and he had a face like a person but he had the body of a deer so when the face part was removed everyone was psyched and that's the kind of integrity that miyazaki has because no hollywood film especially an animated film would end with the characters uh learning how to dougie um it is uh i don't know i just laughing teach him how to ducky um i just even though you know how bad it you know that it is a bad idea to cut that head off really but i love how bad it is right away yes yes it's so bad right away and what i again the first time i saw it i'm curious'm curious if Griffin had this reaction, I felt like the climax had happened.

San had been sucked up into this noodle beast, and Ashitaka jumps in trying to save him. And then Moro, the wolf mother, comes and sacrifices herself to save both of them while all of Irontown watches. Eboshi had already shot the forest creature and it like did nothing. It felt like somebody was over.

Yeah. Yeah, so they save them. Okoto and Moro die. And the forest walker starts to, you know, walk back into the tree line to disappear and stay this like weird ephemeral. And then nope, it's shot right in the neck.

The worst possible thing happens. Right. And then it turns into a living fucking nightmare. Where you're like, oh my, I did not think this movie was going to get this, this bad, this dark.

But even though it's scary, also you've got like Billy Bob being like, I don't know, I should like take the head, right? Yeah. The head. Yeah.

It's kind of the... No one else gonna take it? Right? It's like the fucking thing. We need to get that. The head's the thing. You also get the most upsetting visual in this movie, which is saying something, which is Moro's decapitated head chomping its way across the ground and just biting Lady Eboshi's

arm clean off in one go. It is so wild. That's a good call. A lot of loss of limb and head. It would be like if at the end of the new Lion King remake, if Scar came up and just chomped off one of Nala's arms, one of Nala's legs at the end. It's so messed up.

Lion King remake should have had this embodied Scar head. Yeah. Like when you thought the movie was going to end and you were like, they haven't really done anything different from the narrative of the original. They're like, now there's an extra 30 minutes. Where his head chases people around, snapping at them. Like Pac-Man. I feel like we've teased that bad things happen a lot when you cut off the forest creature's head.

Hell, it's the whole point of the movie. It's the whole thing Miyazaki's trying to say, but I don't think we've actually said what happens. Crazy goo? I mean, I mentioned goo. It turns into this giant amoeba kind of thing. This sparkly amoeba. It's like venom. It is kind of like venom. He is venom.

Yeah, right. Maybe the forest spirit's been venom all along. Maybe. Like this is the venom prequel. Yes. Not... Life? Life. There you go. I had to think about what the movie people thought was a venom prequel.

Right. No, it's... It's bad goo. This is bad goo, folks. It's really bad goo. It's not good goo. No. It kills everything it touches.

It's pretty crummy goo. I think it's bad. It does kill everything it touches, which is one thing against it. It cannot be reversed. You get a really great exchange between Ashitaka and this guard, like Lady Eboshi's bodyguard, who has been just kind of a dick the entire movie. This big built dude wearing this heavy armor.

And the goo is spreading all around them by this side of this lake. And Ashitaka jumps uh and the goo is like spreading all around them by this side of this lake and ashitaka jumps in uh and the card is like i i can't swim and ashitaka's like well cross the bottom it's the best and then you see him actually doing it i've always like i've always really enjoyed that because ashitaka gets like weirdly sassy in the middle of the apocalypse yeah yeah it's pretty rad the whole thing's rad rad. It's scary. I don't like it. But, I mean, to your point, like, the fact that it feels like the movie has hit its, like, denouement before shit hits the fan. Right. Goo hits the fan.

Right. Before goo hits the fan. By the time, like, all hell is unleashed, you're just like, oh, there's no possible happy ending for this movie. Right. Like, this movie can end with, like, a temporary rep this movie. Right. Like this movie can end with like a temporary reprieve. Right. The best thing you can get is sort of like we stopped the worst thing from happening and we now have learned a valuable and frightening lesson.

Yes. About messing with nature. Yeah. And forest spirits. No good, very bad. Don't do it. No good, very bad. Don't do it.

Yeah. I actually feel like this movie has a surprisingly calm, uplifting ending. Ending, right. Because they managed to get the head back to the beast and I guess it peacefully ascends into heaven. It does die though. It does die. It does die, yeah.

And so now it's just a regular forest. Like those were the stakes for the nature side, which is just like, if this happens, then this is just a regular forest, not a like magic godhood forest. Right forest then the forest can't fight back anymore now humanity can just kind of slowly chip away at it but the wounds are gonna linger yeah yeah right and at the end like sans like i'm gonna go to the forest and protect it and ashitaka's like okay i guess i'll go help with irontown and lady abushi's like we're gonna make a better Irontown this time.

A less bad, mean Irontown. And the whole thing is just like, hey, all these kids are gonna be all right. Two and a half minutes ago, you were like, this is the, this is fucking third impact. Like this is, they are all about to be turned into goo. It's like, this is it, this is it.

What a wild ending to this movie. And then it ends with like, yeah, you know, your 20s are weird for everybody. You gotta find your way. They all, you know, some of them had to lose limbs and they all had to witness the almost end of the world. But yeah, then they figured out they should be nicer to trees. And make a new bed in Iron Town. The kind of like a top spinning at the end of Inception that happens.

During this whole apocalypse sequence where the goo is killing everything, all the Kadama are falling from the trees, like I mentioned earlier. All of them, dozens just falling down headfirst, dead, dead, dead. And then at the end of the movie, you see a little one of them just pop up out of the forest, just one little Kadama pop up. And it's like, I get it, but also it's still kind of scary so i would be dope like it would be dope if the force did not have these little you don't like the totems you you want them out of there too much like when you buy a new house you hire like some kind of ghost buster to go around and like banish those guys suck all those

guys right up now if i'd seen my boy totoro like around in the background like, Ooh, this seems like a chill. He's cool. He can stay. Catbus can stay. Catbus can stay. Right. You would trust Totoro as a Kadama chaperone. If they're under his watch.

Right. He seems pretty benevolent. Ah, you're with Totoro? That's fine. Come on in. What happens if you chop his head off, though? Totoro's head? He just turns into living flame?

What's the result? I think our flesh would sear off the bone. Right, exactly. The very cinema explodes. Immediately, yeah. Well, this is like the first kind of like proper box office game we can do. Yes, we're going to play the box office game now. Griffin, you'll, Griffin's going to try and, we're talking to Griffin.

How do you say this? Mr. Newman is going to try and guess the top five films of the weekend that this movie came out in America. Now, this movie came out on the eight screens. Now, I want to say, I don't know if you're aware of this, David. I believe you guys played a round of this on the Bim Bam recently, right? That's right. No, I am aware of that.

The release of Major League or Major League Two? This was a long time. This episodes ago yes i by by like to survive the level of output we have i have to instantly block everything we did last week yeah um you have i believe played some some version of the box office game griffin i believe so this is right we've done a box office game right around here not this this one though. Okay. End of 97? Yeah. It's October 29th 1999. It's 99. This is America. Oh it doesn't come out until 99. This is America. Came out in Japan in 97.

Makes it to America two years later. So this is 1990. 20 years ago is the year that defined cinema history. October 99. Okay. And number one is one of the great movies of 1999. It's a horror remake about a house.

It's The House on Haunted Hill? It's House on Haunted Hill. That was number one? Number one. Opening weekend. That's a bummer. 15 million dollars. Taye Diggs? Yeah. Allie Larder? Chris Kattan was a box office guarantee at that point. That movie made $40 million.

Wow. House on Haunted Hill. And coming out like five months after The Haunting. Yes. Same year as The Haunting. Like it felt like kind of like a second, secondhand goods after The Haunting. And it still did fairly well.

Incredibly long tagline. What's the tagline? Six strangers have to chance to make $1 million each. All they have to do is make it through the night alive. It's a very long tagline. That is a lot. But now you get it, right? They could make a million dollars.

Yeah, now I know exactly what it's about. Do any of them make it? I've never seen it. I've never seen it. Number two, I believe, also has Taye Diggs. So Taye Diggs, I think, yes, he had the number one in two movies this week. Is it The Best Man? Yes.

It's The Best Man. Tay's on top. Coming of age drama, The Best Man. About like, what if one of your friends got married? Yeah. Tay. Can you imagine? Yeah.

I've seen The Best Man. That's the plot, right? It's like, they're getting married. Wow. It's a fantasy. We've all dated each other. Yeah. Yeah.

So Diggs was on top so Diggs was on top. Diggs was on top. Yeah, he dug his way to the top. America dug Diggs. At this point in time, America dug Diggs. We were into it. And then the third is a movie. We've definitely discussed this before.

It's a crime thriller. One of those, you know, young lady, old man crime thrillers. Is it The Bone Collector? It's not The Bone Collector. Fuck. We definitely have discussed A Weekend very close to this. We have. I think the next or the one right after.

Yeah. Is this like when The Insider came out or something? The Insider's probably like a couple years ago. Okay, this is another. It's an old man, young lady thriller. Old man, young lady crime R-rated thriller. Yes, The Next Weekend is The Insider. Interesting.

Okay. Are either of them cops? I think he's a cop. You think he's a cop and she's not? She's a prisoner. She's a prisoner? Oh, boy. Is it Double Jeopardy?

Bingo. Double Jeopardy. Tommy Lee Jones and Ashley Judd. Tommy Lee Jones is a cop, right? Sorry, I didn't know if I... Can I play? Should I have said that? Yes.

I apologize. No, no. I'm sorry. He's a parole officer, So sort of like cop adjacent. Interesting. Double jeopardy. Yeah. Sometimes murder is legal.

Yeah. Do you think Billy Bob was on the bench for that one? Murder isn't always a crime. He wasn't. No, Tommy Lee Jones answered his phone. Yeah, exactly. He picked up the phone. Double jeopardy?

I can't do him. Yeah, he's impossible to do. He shouldn't be. He's got like a great Texan accent. Brolin nailed it. That's true. He did nail it. Yeah.

Number four. Number four. David's thinking. It was a big movie this year. Genuinely a very big deal movie. Now somewhat ridiculed, I think, for its sort of like huge cultural impact at the time. Not American Beauty. It is American Beauty.

It is American Beauty. Yeah. American Beauty. Was this like, it had just come out? Seventh Week. This was at Seventh Week? That movie came out September 15th, and it just sort of like trundled along. It just never left the top

ten. I thought it wasn't like a big success. It was $130 million. No, I know it was a huge hit. Okay, yeah, I guess if it's a huge hit, it's going to make lots of money. No, but that's the crazy thing is like- It was like a box office hit.

Right. And it's like, what's it about? Ah, this guy, he's sick of being married and shit and wants to sleep with a teenager. Right. A sex criminal plays a man who wants to fuck his daughter's friend and jerks off in the shower a bunch. No, that's the thing. Like, Best Picture winners don't do that well anymore.

No, no. They're not guaranteed to clean up. Occasionally something that already was a hit will win Best Picture like The Departed. But something like American Beauty, which made a bunch of money and then won Best Picture and then made even more money. They just can't make any money. They just brought it back and made more money.

People are like, well, it's an American obligation. It was an American movie. It was an American movie. American Beauty. But even Green Book didn't do that well here and then it crushed in China. Did you know that? I did. And every other country. Did you know that Green Book was a

colossal sensation in China? No. Yes. I did not know that. It's always a shock to find out what the Chinese movie-going audience enjoys. They loved it. They loved Green Book. Give me that Green Book. Green Book and Warcraft, man. That's all we need.

That's right. Number five is- How much had American Beauty made at this point? 54. Yeah, so it's like- So it's halfway into its run. Not even. Not even.

Crazy. Number five is an inspirational true story movie it's an inspirational true story movie yeah was this kind of like an oscar play uh yes and it got one oscar nomination maybe two acting acting and i think a song. Big Daddy. Adam Sandler's Big Daddy. That's an inspirational movie, David. Yeah, very inspirational. It becomes the biggest daddy of them all. Can I say something very embarrassing?

Oh, Jesus. It's well established on this podcast. I think it actually is and I almost never talk about it. I love Guns N' Roses. Maybe you have talked about it. Sure, but it's like one of the biggest outliers in my personality where people are like, and i'm like yeah they're my favorite band right

i for a very long time thought that uh uh sweet child of mine was an original composition written and performed by cheryl crow for the film big daddy oh did she like cover it for big daddy yeah i was like this song fucking rules Why isn't everyone jamming on this amazing song? Were you already a customer? No, then like three years later, my cousin got me Appetite for Destruction for my birthday and I was like, wait, they did a cover of a Sheryl Crow song?

And then I did the timeline stuff. You're a weird guy. You know when you said this was going to be embarrassing? Yeah. Bingo. You had no idea. I was like, how is this not the biggest song in America? Everyone should be loving Sweet Child of Mine. Now I want to hear, I had no idea Sheryl Crow did it.

Anyway, that's not this movie. Okay. To be clear. I have a guess. Go ahead. And the guess is from the fact that you said... Big Daddy, by the way, is 60th at the box office this week and made $30,000. One of the biggest movies of the year, though. Huge movie. My guess, based off the fact that you said it was an acting nomination, a the way, is 60th at the box office this week and made $30,000. One of the biggest movies of the year, though. Huge movie. Huge movie.

My guess, based off the fact that you said it was an acting nomination, a song nomination, is Music of the Heart. Correct. Directed by? Wes Craven. Wes Craven. After making, I don't know, 18 horror movies, was like, what if I made a movie about a nice violin teacher in the Bronx?

It's so inspirational. It's scary. Yeah. A friend of mine is in that movie. A friend of mine is in that movie as well. Yeah. It's so inspirational. It's scary. Yeah. A friend of mine is in that movie. A friend of mine is in that movie as well. Who's your friend?

We can talk about it off mic. Okay. I went to high school with someone where that was her only acting job. Is she one of the violinists? I think she is.

Because the kids, there are like five actors playing each kid at different ages, right? Yeah. I've never seen it, but apparently they were in

The Music of the Heart. Can I guess who your friend was who was in music of the heart? And you don't, if I get it right, you say yes. No, that's true. Is it Meryl Streep? No. Okay. And it's 100% a shot.

Is it Angela Bassett? Oh yeah, Angela Bassett's in it. Gloria Estefan? I had no idea. Right? I think Gloria Estefan, it's one of her rare acting roles. You're right. Okay. Can I guess? Estefan, it's one of her rare acting roles. You're right. Okay.

Can I guess? Now we're playing the music of the heart game. Can I guess who the... The main guy? Yeah. Shoot. It's like a romantic lead? Sure.

I've never seen this movie. Okay. I'm going off of my memory of the VHS box. Give it a shot. Is it Aiden Quinn? It is Aiden Quinn. Wow. He has the two different colored eyes.

He has two different colored eyes? Yes, it's a plot point in Practical Magic. Never knew it. Well, this is a great way for this episode to end. Kieran Culkin is in it. Okay. Cloris Leachman. I'm done.

That's it. Music of the heart. Yeah, and the song was NSYNC. This was that famous best song year at the Oscars. It was Bob Dylan. No, that's the following year. Oh, that's the next year. This is the year that Phil Collins wins for You'll Be On My Heart.

Oh, shit. Right, but you have the South Park song and whatever. You have Blame Canada. Blame Canada. You have Music of the Heart by NSYNC. You have When She Loved Me. The Toy Story song. Randy and Mr. McLaughlin.

And you have Amy Mann, Save Me. Right, and then fucking Phil Collins won for whatever, Tarzan. You'll Be In My Heart. For the greatest. You'll be in my heart. It's the number one best song. Is it? Yeah.

I wish they nominated Trash in the Camp instead. Is that a Tarzan song? So they were like, we're into this like adult can tell the trap music is it oh i'm about to remind you it's rosie o'donnell based music thank you i'm so glad you remember this i remember that when she arrives in the movie she says the fun has arrived she definitely does yes i remember that but they offered her the role and she was like great i get to sing one of those classic disney songs and they're like no great, I get to sing one of those classic Disney songs. And they're like, no, we're thinking of going in a little different direction in this one.

It's just going to be Phil Collins singing songs over the soundtrack. The characters don't sing. And she was like, I will only do it if I can sing. So there's a scene where the monkeys destroy the human camp. And while it's happening, Rosie O'Donnell scats. And it's called Trash in the Camp. They didn't want to break the reality by making it a full musical, so instead the animals

make percussive noises while breaking the human's belongings. And Rosie O'Donnell goes like, And it goes on for five minutes, and that film won an Academy Award. The only thing I remember about that, the only thing I know, is that Chris Rock was the first choice for that role. For Turk?

Yeah, and they offered it to him, and he was like, no, thank you. So then they went to Rosie. I remember he gave some interview. He was like, they wanted me to play a monkey, and I was like, no, it's okay. I won't do that. Turk. Griffin, thank you so much for being't do that. That's hurt. Griffin, thank you so much for being on the show. Hey, thanks for having me.

It was a lot of fun. I'm glad I got a reason to watch this movie again, and it also has sent me down the path of re-watching. You're going to re-watch the movie. You're going to love it. I know. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell. I guess I should give you the bones back, right?

I mean, we should swap back our bones. Right, let's do a bone swap because I gotta go. You know what? What? It's my gift. It's my gift to you. No. They always say, if you're a guest, if you're a guest, bring a gift. They call him the most generous podcast host in the biz. He's giving you bones. Hey, you know what? In appreciation for the bones, let me just

I believe he's giving you his eyes. Here are my eyes. Yes, there you go. Ah, cool. I'm gonna put them on the sides of my head. Do it. Do it. Give yourself you his eyes. Here are my eyes. Yes, there you go. Oh, cool. Yeah. I'm going to put them on the sides of my head. Do it. Do it. Give yourself some ear eyes.

Everyone wants eyes in the back of their head, but what if you had them in the sides of your head? I mean, far more useful. Sure. Way more useful. It's like VR. Or one on the top so I can look out for birds. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. The silent killers. The silent killers. One on top of the birds. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. The silent killers.

The silent killers. One on top of the head. Air conditioners. One on my chin. Falling from tall buildings. You look out for air conditioners. Or even that thing where like when you're walking around and you're like, oh, is it raining? And then you realize it's a little drip trap from the air conditioner.

If you had the eye on the top, you wouldn't have to look around to figure that out. You'd know immediately what type of drop. The amount of time you're saving is just incredible. If there was a drone and you wanted to check it out, you'd have a better chance of catching a good sight of it. I love that drones exist, and I feel like I don't get to see them enough. I know.

In action, because they're way above my head. If freaking burglars or spies rappel down from the ceiling. Spider-Man, who's a menace. Nice try. Spider-Man! He's a menace. You're talking about that wacky web crawler? Yeah,Man, who's a menace. Nice try. Spider-Man. He's a menace. You're talking about that wacky web crawler? Yeah, exactly.

He's a menace to the city. He swings through. You could see him. You could see him. Yeah. Griffin, thank you so much for doing our show and talking about the princess with us. Yeah, of course.

Do you have 18 podcasts you want to talk about? Does the title ever explain itself? I just was trying to think of what. It just means spirit princess. Right. Like in Japanese. I think they say it at one point. Yeah, they say it.

Right. She is like the princess of the forest. Mononoke Hime. It means like spirit slash monster princess. Yeah. Which is kind of broad. I was doing some research on this movie, and there's apparently a really in-depth documentary

about the making of just this, which I would be curious to see did you all see the um you may be saving this for the end of your series the uh miyazaki documentary what is it yes kingdom kingdom of dreams and madness dreams and madness i did not know there was a specific documentary about this one yeah i found a couple clips of it on youtube and it it's really, like, gets really in there, just about, like, frame-by-frame animation and how they work CGI into it. Check it out. I watched, like, ten minutes of it. It was cool. This box set that we all have is weird because it scrubs off all of the special features

from the individual movies. Right. There's, like, the bonus disc, which has the documentary on it, right? Right. But otherwise, like, when Disney did their separate releases and when GKids has now done their separate releases, they have individual features. Yeah.

I don't know. I don't know either. They're robbing us of context. I know. Well, hopefully it all gets figured out one day. But it's gifting us more shelf space. That's true. That's the tradeoff.

Thank you all very much for listening. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe. Wait, Griffin, do you want to plug anything? Wait, I forgot. You should plug your podcast. Yeah, we do podcasts and all kinds of stuff. Our family all works on junk together. That is why our website is macroy.family.

So if you go there, you'll find out all the stuff we do. Just got a graphic novel. If you would buy that, that'd be cool. Great book. It's called The Adventure Zone, Murder on the Rockport Limited. And that's all my plug time, folks. Thank you. Yeah, you have a media empire along with your family,

and people should delve into it. Yeah, please. Yeah, I was saying to David, there are people who I feel like their media diet is 90% things that your family consumes. And that's how we like it. If we could actually bump that number. Just go all above from 90. The fuck is up with that 10%?

Fucking euphoria? Well, those teens are up to no good. Those teens are up to no good. Thank you all for listening. Here's the real ending. Thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew for our social media.

Thanks to Joe Bowen and Pat Reynolds for our work. Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Go to... Why is my brain shutting down? Blankystarred.com for some real nerdy shit. TeePublic for some real nerdy shirts. Yes. Blank check Patreon.

Going through those Marvel movies still. We're probably up to... I don't know. Spider-Man Home is where the heart is at this point. That's about right. Black Panther, I to, I don't know, Spider-Man Home is Where the Heart Is at this point. That's about right. Black Panther, I think. I don't know. Okay.

Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Who cares? And as always, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. What? Fuck. What? Fuck.

What? I feel like I had one like 20 minutes ago. We're going to sit in this for a second. Great. I want to pee. Yeah. Can we make this last two hours? We can make this last two hours.

Oh, boy. Two people need to pee. No, I was thinking it wasn't the spaghetti thing. The wolves. It was a thing we had a lot of fun with. There was something. David is. Messing up.

Messing up the trash in the camp. Putting his phone back in his pocket. Yeah, David is. Trash in the camp. Skiba-dee-bop-doop-bop-a-dee-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba. David is coiling up his AC adapter for his laptop. He's brushing his hair. He has now put his headphones back on.

I think he is filing a piece for the Atlantic. It could happen. It could happen. And of course... Something about the warthogs. And as always, warthogs. Pumbaa. Kunamatata.

That's very topical. Bones. Bones. Season 13 coming soon to fucking Queeby or whatever. Bones is going to be Queeby. Boreanaz is back. Season 13 coming soon to fucking Queeby or whatever. Bones is going to be Queeby. Boreanaz is back. He's bonier than ever.

Yeah. As always. And as always, thank you for listening. All right. Great one. No, I love that. That was great. That was great.

Thank you.