Blank Check with Griffin & David - Ralph Breaks the Internet

Episode Date: December 2, 2018

This week on Blank Check is a discussion of Wreck-it-Ralph and Ralph Breaks the Internet. Together, Griffin, David and Producer Ben examine the history of Disney Animation sequels, Chekhov’s Mentos, types of metals and the origins of Spies in Disguise. Plus, John Hodgman ([Vacationland](https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/557020/vacationland-by-john-hodgman/9780735224827/)) leaves a voicemail! This episode is sponsored by [Brooklinen](https://www.brooklinen.com) CODE: CHECK and [Legacybox](http://legacybox.com/check). And check out new official Blank Check merch available at [TeePublic](https://www.teepublic.com/stores/blank-check)!

I'm pod and that's cast. I will never be cast and that's pod. There's no one I'd rather be than me. Hey guys, welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David. I'm your guest host, Producer Ben. Hells yeah. Because occasionally on this podcast, the boys give me the keys to the car. We hand you the checkbook. That's right. And I get to pick what I want.

It's your duty. Big duty. To host the show. Can you do her? It's your duty. Yeah, I'm going to leave that to Griff. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm hosting the show so strap in

this is Ben Rex the podcast that's right Ben breaks the podcast Ben breaks the podcast so yeah I guess I'll introduce

my guests sure so you know there's Griffin Newman hi everybody co-host of Blank Check from Blue Bloods of course from CBS

oh you're on Blue Bloods two episodes of Blue Bloods my grandparents love that show I got a $20 residual check today, baby. Really? Wow. What did you play? That thing kills in syndication.

I still get the checks. It's going on in a decade. I played, of course, Detective Sam Wonderboy Johnson, who was set up to be an exciting new recurring character who worked the computer. Are you serious? And Donnie Wahlberg didn't like me. Why not?

We had very different acting styles. Okay. But those checks still clear, baby. Nice. And then, of course, here on my left, it's David Sims. Yes. From Blue Bloods.

Also on Blue Bloods. Hi. So, guys, I guess I should say the whole spiel about the show. So it's Blank Check. It's a podcast about directors' filmographies. Fuck, I've heard this so many times. Yeah, but it doesn't apply to this episode.

Today you're just going to wreck it. That's the point. Oh, okay, fine. You're breaking the format. All right, well then let's get into it. Rolling up his sleeves. So I saw Wreck-It Ralph one night late by myself

and I texted these boys. Yeah, when was this? Like a couple years ago? This was like a year ago. It was maybe about 2.30 in the morning. Yeah, I had just finally seen Wreck-It Ralph. You were watching it as you were texting us drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it made me cry really hard and

I just had such a moment. Why were you watching it? Do you remember? Sad. Just sad. And I needed something in my life to entertain me. The vibe I got from it at the time was that your girlfriend at the time was sleeping. And it was 3 o'clock in the morning.

And you were drunk and sad watching a movie by yourself. Yep. Yep. Yep. Right. That's the scene. Right. And you were getting very emotional. a movie by yourself. Yep. Yep. Yep. Right. That's the scene. Right. And you were getting very emotional. You were in love with the film

and you were borderline hostile towards David and I for not telling you to watch the movie soon. I was mad. It was like you were furious at the like. Because it's my origin story. I'm like Wreck-It Ralph is basically my story. Okay, so let's unpack this.

Okay, great. Sure. You have to unpack it. We can't unpack it. Ben keeps forgetting he's the host this week. He's the host. All right. So I am a trash boy.

You're a trash boy. Yes, you're from Ditchland. I'm from a ditch world. You grew up in a pile of bricks. Pretty much. Honestly. Really. I feel like this is slanderous to your poor parents who

probably provided you with a nice enough home and they did and such right you know they did their best and you're always trying to paint your upbringing like it's fucking thunderdome or whatever and was a garbage pill can uh too bad ben ben's father will never come on the show to defend himself. Winky, winky. Winky, winky. Anyway, go on. Continue on. So I,

yeah, I just was like a bad kid and I very much like kind of fell into that identity. I think, you know,

of like, sort of like, I'm a bad guy. I'm gonna do bad things. They viewed you as a scumbag so you played into it yeah much like around and then at some point i made a i made a few friends along the way okay met some little friends i left new jersey you know left that in the the dust you stepped into a different game i did and all of a sudden, wow, people are nice and the world's kind of cool.

You can have friends. So this thing, like, resonated hard with you. Oh, man, yeah. You wouldn't stop talking about it and then we were like, you know there's a sequel and your mind literally exploded

like the original Garbage Pail Kid, Atom Bomb. Yeah, right. So then since then, we sort of had this notion on the books. Let's do a Ralph episode. Let's make it a Ben's Choice. We've been doing so many families' choices, and we had a Paul Scheer choice.

We haven't had a proper Ben's Choice in a while. Probably. When was the last one, Man Who Too Little? I think it was Clifford. Clifford, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was about a year ago. And so we decide to let Ben wreck it.

King Ralph is still on the books. We replaced one Ralph with another Ralph. Yeah. But the thing that's been sort of hanging over this is all the Ralph Breaks the Internet trailers are coming out. And all of us were like loosening our collar a little bit going like, it looks a little emoji movie. And we've said this on the podcast like a little worried about that new one and Ben the whole time was steadfast

Ralph Rules it's gonna be great it's gonna be good I definitely was of the mindset like with the princess thing especially like they may just not have had enough here and they sort of went all in on the random sort of shit just to get some I was like shaking

my hand and going like i don't know and you were going like it looks bad it's gonna be bad like you seemed pretty certain it was gonna be a slapdash sequel the the after seeing the trailer yes before seeing the trailer i was sort of like who knows right i like the first one so much after seeing the trailer very worried of family guy level no plot mostly random shit with the internet is like a vehicle for that right well and and rich moore was like one of the main directors on uh futurama sure directed many of its best episodes that's sort of his like big pedigree before Disney sort of poached him and brought him in. It was a really cool move because he did a lot of the best, most

emotional episodes of Futurama that had this great balance of permanent joke ratio. He worked on The Simpsons. Yes. Oh, okay. He worked on Mighty Mouse back in the day. He worked on The Critic. Mighty Mouse is one of those weird shows where a lot of cool people came out of it. Andrew Stanton came out of it. A lot of people who he worked on The Critic Mighty Mouse one of those weird shows where like most

a lot of cool people came out of it Andrew Stanton came out of it like a lot of people who redefined the next 20 years of animation before Pixar

had gotten up and running and Disney had been revitalized were on Mighty Mouse right but yes no I mean

he worked on a lot of The Simpsons he moved over to Futurama his episodes of Futurama just had a very distinct flavor to them he did Roswell that ends well

which is the one that won the Emmy. I believe he did Jurassic Bark the one with Fry's dog that everyone always memes about how sad it is. He might have done Luck of the Fry-ish, which is my favorite episode. I don't think he did the two you're talking about. He did do Roswell that ends well. Did he not do

the dog one? Jurassic Bark is such a good episode. I can't watch it. Let's find out. I think he did the dog one. Maybe not Luck of the good episode. I can't watch it. Let's find out. I think he did the dog one. Maybe not Luck of the Fry-ish. No? Swinton, Oh, Scott, and then Luck. Because you just named the three most famous Futurama episodes. Yes. But he only did one. Okay, so he did one of them. He did the one that won the Emmy.

Yeah, Luck of the Fry-ish was an Emmy, at least winner, I think. Roswell did it. Yes. Sorry. Seeing the Ralph Breaks the Internet trailer, there's a massive difference between Family Guy and Futurama. You see the trailer and you go,

this might just become a gag machine. Right. This might just be a guy who's got a TV comedy background. There are a lot of things they can pull from. Is it just going to be a mapping game of what if this was like this what would the dark web look like and then also the other thing was that the trailers were so heavy

on the Disney IP which I just have no patience for Griffin smiling I think it's well done in this movie oh okay we'll talk about it that's the stuff I just have no patience for but I think there's a massive difference between taking up 6 minutes of a 2 hour movie versus taking up six minutes of a two-hour movie

versus taking up one minute of a three-minute trailer. When you saw the three-minute trailer and it was mostly the princesses, you were like, what is this thing? I mean, I understand, especially having seen it now. Like, you know, you want to sell your tickets. Yeah. You emphasize these things people are going to like. Disney, everyone knows

Disney everyone's ready for people like crossover self-referential humor crossover shit they love self-referential humor Deadpool knows these in a movie

and I want to make it very clear I just want to restate very quickly we're not hosting this episode Ben's hosting this episode we're just doing a little context corner

oh yeah this and that I mean I'll say I didn't even watch the trailer all I needed to know is that breaks was was in the title and I was sold. And Ralph was in the movie. And Ralph was in the movie. You'll see any movie with Ralph above or in the title.

100%. King Ralph, Wreck-It Ralph, Ralph Breaks the Internet. Your three favorite films. D23, which is like the crazy Disney fan club convention thing. Disney has started pulling a lot of their shit from like Comic-Con and the traditional channels. And doing big Star Wars panels and Marvel panels and announcements at D23, which they do like annually or every other year in different places. Why is it called D23? Because I think 23 is the year of the first Mickey Mouse short.

I think it's 1923. That early? Something happened in 23. It's just the year he founded the company. Okay, thank you. Do you think that that meetup is just full of creeps? I've seen things from it. I mean, it's a wide array of people.

Because you have hardcore Disney fans who generally aren't creeps. They're people who are just like, I like nice things. things okay I like when things are comfortable you know sure like a lot of the theme park people are like just like very nice people and I don't say this disparagingly because I love theme parks and I uh care more about Disney than most average people right sure but the people who are like you're not alone in that there are no no no you. Right. But I'd say the hard, hardcore Disney proper people are the people who are like, I like nice, comforting things. Disney has amazing quality control. You know? Sure.

Their stuff is just very, even when it's bad, it's got the Disney vibe. Yeah. Which is the exact thing that drove me crazy about working at the Disney store, Humble Brack. Right. And so they're those people, but now they've roped the Disney store, Humble Brack. And so there are those people, but now they've roped the Marvel people in, and the Star Wars people, and then you also have people who are like,

I'm just a Pixar fan. I'm just a theme park fan. I just like the old musicals. They're all these different cross-sections. So they've tried to make it this one club where you pay whatever it is, like $40 a year, and you get some exclusive stuff and then you get to go to this convention and uh they it's a bully base of all the disney stuff wow like

here are the old vintage ride vehicles on the floor and dick van dyke is getting an award but also like tom hillston's doing a q a like it's like all of it and the last one of these that they did maybe like 18 months ago they were like we're screening the first ever footage from wreck it rIt Ralph 2, which I think at that time was still just called Wreck-It Ralph 2. Yeah, because initially it was definitely going to be called that with the subtitle Ralph Breaks the Internet, right? Right.

It was like, maybe first announces Wreck-It Ralph 2. Then it was like, Wreck-It Ralph 2, Ralph Breaks the Internet. Then they flipped it. Then it became Ralph Breaks the Internet colon Wreck-It Ralph 2. And then they dropped it, which is this weird thing now where studios don't want numerals in their titles because they don't want it to look like the franchise is getting long in the tooth. Actually, I think SEO is a huge part of that, which is crazy, but I think almost certainly true. You want a new title?

Because people Google Wreck-It Ralph, they're going to get the old thing? Yes. But the beginning of that was like, the first time I remember being like that's weird was ice age 2 very shortly before it came out being like never mind it's called ice age 2 the meltdown sure right and then all those movies become like blank colon subtitle right or like here's just a different title and they largely avoid the the twos and threes um so this title transforms that for me was a little bit of a red flag where I'm like, are they trying so hard to just sell it as like, it's internet the movie.

Is it getting away from the Ralph thing? All the stuff that's set up in the original that I like. They do this screening of early footage of D23 and they show the princess scene, which was like the first scene completed. And unsurprisingly, the thing fucking kills at this Disney convention. Right. Which of course, right. Whenever you hear something's killing a d23 you're not like oh it's definitely good right and i think they were like here's one small scene in our movie that's

fun then the internet exploded because of all these disney bloggers and then i think they started like really putting that front and center for all the marketing right which then scared some people like you and i being like we just want to see more about ralph and vanellope right don't give me too much princess shit right um but the movie uh comes out and critics love it and bill gabiri says it's a masterpiece i saw it with um i started the press screening richard lawson was sitting behind me friend friend of the show uh this is ralph breaks the internet we're talking about here and uh we were sort of amiably chatting before the screening right and then after like the second the credits start rolling richard like dashes out of his seat and i was sort of surprised because courtney uh the

pr person disney's the lovely courtney had been very specific as she gave me the ticket of like remember i stay post credits because there's there's stuff you know they'd like to alert you like there's gonna be a post credits thing okay so i was like i guess richard doesn't uh want to see the post credits thing and then he uh told me and i think he tweeted uh he ran away because his eyes were so filled with tears he could not face really everyone he was like i'm just gonna get out of here specifically like the very ending of the movie got him or did it build I mean I don't know you'd have to ask him in turn but like yeah the final sort of

you know soft goodbye that they have where it's like we're not gonna see much of each other anymore you know not to spoil it Ben's getting a little worried Ben is looking away from not making eye contact with me so the development of this movie is a little weird not making eye contact with me. Fuck. Yeah. It gets to me too.

So the development of this movie is a little weird. Disney, like when they were in the late 90s, I guess more the early 2000s, like Pixar has gotten so big, then DreamWorks is starting to get so big, and they were starting to have Dimension Returns on the classically animated Disney films. They moved away from the princess musicals because they were starting to have Dimension Returns on the classically animated Disney films. They moved away from the princess musicals

because they were like we gotta get boys. We gotta get boys. Boys don't like Disney. And like movies like Princess and the Frog or Tangled wouldn't do maybe as well as they hoped. Maybe this is even before that. I'm talking before this. I'm talking like 2000 to 2006. Okay.

Essentially. When it's like, oh, let's make these boys action movies. And they do Treasure Planet, they do Atlantis, these things underperform. Then they do these weird sort of, oh, let's try CGI,

let's do like Chicken Little. Yeah. These movies are all like really expensive, they suck, and they have no shelf life. Right. Right? Chicken Little.

Treasure Planet and Atlantis are kind of interesting. Treasure Planet has its fans. But at this point, Disney feature animation doesn't have much direction. And Pixar is kind of running the table on them. Pixar hasn't been bought fully by Disney yet. They're trying to make their own CGI films. They don't want to do it. And they're accepting a lot of modern pitches.

And they're like, fuck the old Disney model of like a classic tale with a new spin. We're just doing new shit developing from the ground up modern trekkie modern shit and there's a pitch they buy or you know perhaps it's developed in house that's called Joe Jump which then becomes Reboot Ralph which is let's make a movie in a video

game that seems like a thing that kids want 8 bit video game movie right like that's the joke right it's like Roger Rabbit but in the arcade. What if the thing you think of as inanimate was animate? Right. And no one ever really cracks it. I remember Anne Hathaway was announced to be in it,

and someone else was announced to be in it. I kept on going through these name changes, director changes, writer changes. It was kind of like Hotel Transylvania. Trying to find any like... Where it was like, a video game movie, that sounds marketable. A thing set inside an 8-bit game,

that sounds big. And no one ever had a story for it that really worked. And they kept on resetting it, rebooting it. No pun intended. I feel like at one point, Gary Ross was writing it.

Weirdly. I could see that because didn't he write the little mouse movie? Yes, he did. The little cartoon mouse with the sword. Tales of Despero. So it's sort of just like bouncing around, this

and that. And then when John Lasseter, lots of hug and bear himself, takes over Disney Animation and starts supplanting all their traditional methods and being like, this has to be a proper studio again, he poaches Rich Moore.

And he's like, here's a guy who previously was seen as a little too edgy for Disney. This is the kind of guy we need in the studio. And Rich Moore sort of becomes the big in-house Disney Studios guy. Tangled was very successful, but it cost a crazy amount of money because they had been developing it for, like, 15 years.

But it was a big hit and starts this new modern wave of like Tangled obviously then Ralph the following year then Frozen is the biggest movie of all time and then

this incredible like run that Disney Animation has been on Moana Moana Make way Big Hero 6

they win a bunch of Oscars they've had a more successful track record than Pixar in terms of Oscars over the last decade. And in terms of quality. I would agree. I think that Pixar might have still made the best movie in those 10 years. You know what I mean?

The number one best? I agree. Yeah, but I think that Disney in general is a little more consistent than Pixar. I would agree with that. And also feels more consistent than Pixar. I would agree with that. And also feels more original. And they've done an interesting balance of things like Ralph that feel very modern and things like Frozen

that feel very throwback-y and there's a nice, you know. But Disney has only ever made one theatrically released and produced sequel to an animated film ever. and it's something completely weird the rescuers down under right right have you seen the rescuers down under

no you know those two little mice mice married couple uh no come on bob newhart and ava gabor i think is that right i believe that's who the two of them are and they're nice little mice and they solve mysteries in the first one they solve a regular mystery and the second one they go down the second one's like we're gonna give it to you what you've always wanted they're gonna go down under it was the post uh crocodile dundee outback steakhouse it's like 14 years later yes they were like we're doing a sequel and everyone's like oh here comes fucking sleeping beauty too and it's like the rescuers down under. It was very odd. So that was like when Katzenberg and Eisner took over they were like we should be milking our properties. We should be

using the brands that we already have value. Let's make a sequel to a theatrical Disney animated film and they were like all these other movies literally end with and they lived happily ever after. Like which of these actually is still kind of open ended and they were like we're gonna make two sequels. It's The Rescuers Down

Under and Mary Poppins 2. And Mary Poppins 2 took an additional 30 years to happen. Rescuers Down Under happened. It underperformed. And then right around that time, the Disney Renaissance happens and all the new movies are so great and they abandon the sequel thing. Disney Toons is developed, which is the company

that does all the VHS, DVD, direct to Return of Jafar. A couple of those end up getting released theatrically, like Jungle Book 2 and Return to Neverland. But those aren't meant to be theatrical films. They're just like, why don't we put it in theaters? This is the first since The Rescuers Down Under. So it was seen as a big deal. Pixar has made sequels, but right.

Seen as a bit, and DreamWorks has made too many sequels. But it was seen as a big deal that Disney was going to allow a big theatrical sequel. And Ralph seemed like there's a lot of stuff still on the table. Video games, it's a big world. They've stayed mostly within an arcade world. They had always been like, you know, they could hook it up to Wi-Fi and you could get online gaming. And Ralph and Vanellope could end up on consoles. And everyone's like, that's clearly the premise of 2.

And then they announced 2 and it's like that's clearly the premise of 2 and then they announce 2 and it's like they go into the internet proper and I was just like genuinely because I was so invested in the way that the world worked in the first one you love the world building in the first one I do I was just like how would they get to the internet and then the trailer's like they get a router

and I'm like that's it that's the whole it's like yeah it is kind of incredible like I love the audacity you got a router yeah that's it? He's like, yeah! It is kind of incredible. I love the audacity. You got a router! That's how the internet works. I didn't think that. The audacity and the confidence of the Wreck-It Ralph universe to be like,

yeah, it's a surge protector. There's a power strip and all the devices. They're just like, oh, that's how you travel from one thing to another. It's great. The world building in both movies is so clean and precise.

You get it fast. It doesn't have to do too much of like, this is this person, this is this person. And Ready Player One, comparatively. The first thing Ben said when the movie ended was that's so much better than Ready Player One. It's so clunky and they spend so much time explaining things.

This is a movie where it's like, this is how you do opening narration. Like, when people go like, opening narration, kind of sweaty if you have to set up the rules, but like, the narration in the first one is just like, it's funny, it's well written, Ralph is engaging, you actually get character, it's not just an info

dump, and it's better to just be like, here's four minutes, and we're explaining all the rules rules to you and now we can move on with our movie also the characters are amalgamations of like donkey kong it works so well and it what's so great about that is like i'm not a nerd so i don't need like the service of like oh look he's got a mallet because you know it's like donkey kong i don't give a shit so i just love it because it's like clean and you just right away know what this character's about and like what his deal is it's also great that they pick like three very very universal things that people who have never played a video game would know which is like ralph and felix are like donkey

kong and mario right Sugar Rush is like Mario Kart. Combined with Candyland. Oh yeah. And then like Heroes Duty is like Halo. Combined with like Metroid. Sure. And it's like here are three different types of games that everyone knows. Yeah. Even if you haven't played them you've seen a kid play them. That tracking's really good but

they make the characters their own so it doesn't just feel like, oh, this is a parody of... I love the rules of Felix where it's just like, your understanding of how the game works is so strong and it looks fun. It doesn't look like a shitty fake movie game. The golden hammer thing is great. It looks like... Did they ever make it?

Could I play Wreck-It Ralph? Here's my first merchandise spotlight. Yeah-It Ralph? Here's my first merchandise spotlight. Yeah I mean I assume. Here's my first merchandise spotlight. So they have as an app that's really good. I played it a lot when the first movie came out. And it's like it's just the game? Dead on. Okay. It's perfect. It's not like a shitty like flash like fake

thing. It's like a proper. It just looks the same. Fixed to feel like a game and it rules. I'm gonna download this now. I hope they still have it. I believe when the movie was coming out, they did set up at Disney some proper cabinets. There is now a product I was trying to get

in time for this episode, Ben. It's sold out everywhere. I'm trying to get it for you as a Christmas present. There is a company now that's making little mini arcade cabinets. It's like a desk version like this making like little mini like arcade cabinets. So it's like, Oh, it's like a desk version like this.

I'm holding out my hands. It's like the size of a coffee cup, but it's like, Oh, it's like Frogger, Pac-Man. It's got the little controls. You can play properly.

And they made one of fix it Felix. So it's like a little desk arcade cabinet with the proper full fix it Felix game. Oh my God. It costs like $20, but sold out everywhere. And the third market prices are like through the roof on eBay. Right, so maybe it's just a rarity now. Yeah, I think they underproduced some.

Well, hopefully they make more. Yeah. Because this episode is going to be so popular. Huge. Guys, whoever, whatever that company is, tweet at them. Yeah. Tell them to make more. I want this. And tell them to be a sponsor on this show and send Ben 40 of them. I want a golden hammer too. Yeah, to make more. I want this. And tell them to be a sponsor on this show. Yeah. And send Ben 40 of them.

Send. And I want a golden hammer too. Yeah. The golden hammer. I just love the rules of the game, but also the rules of the universe of like the hammer fixes everything. Right. That scene of.

When they figure that out of him hitting his own face. Yes. So good. But it's nice that they're like, here are the individual rules of our game that aren't just riffing on Mario. Right. Like here's, we're combining it with other shit. We're adding different values.

And then in the first movie, basically like the two plot lines are Felix and Ralph. Right. Um, and they go off on their separate kind of journeys. Right. But then the relationship they have that form a new relationship with the female characters is so like, it just, it's like, it makes me excited because it's like this is a movie for kids and it's like

great values like great friends the romantic like thing of like the felix being small and like her being the strong like warrior like her ankle or whatever it's so great yeah i love that she loves him that it's not like the joke is that like he's like an idiot pussy who's like in love with this big tough girl and she's like, get away from me, cuck. You know? Which you could easily imagine Jane Lynch saying in a PG Disney film. But no, they're two very nice relationships and the movie is really about like identity, which I like. relationships and the movie is really about like identity which I like like the thing that you realize watching

Breaks the Internet is like oh that's the thing they've latched on to more than anything is like this series is about like identity and insecurity in the modern world. Absolutely. How people see us how we want to be seen. How much friendship matters in that regard like how much people

who accept you for who you are. You know and it's good and bad i mean rakes ralph breaks the internet is very interesting in what it is saying in my opinion wreck it ralph is i more straightforward i get that like you know we're going to talk about yes there are a couple things that the first record ralph does that are very risky that i uh am very impressed by like even like i watched it for like the third time last night, right? And I remember when I went to see it,

Tasha Robinson, then at the Dissolve, had written a review where she compared it to Toy Story 2 in terms of the tightness of its script then, which was an unfair thing for me to read before seeing the movie. Oh, I see. Are you saying you didn't like it when you first saw it?

I did like it, but my expectations were, this will make me as happy as when I saw Toy Story 2 for the first time, the happiest I have ever been in my entire life. It was actually... It was an unattainable goal. It was actually AV Club. It was that long ago. Oh, okay.

Wow, Jesus. But it was Tasha, right? Mm-hmm. So I saw it. I was like, that's very good. It's no wonder you're as good as Toy Story 2 with these people talking about it. But no one else. You're just going off of Tasha right so I saw it I was like that's very good it's no one here as good as Toy Story 2 with these people talking about but

no one else you're just going off of Tasha correct yeah but but I have like with time really grown to admire the audacity of a couple of things that's pulling off one of which is and

I think this movie is very much of a piece of Monsters University in this like teaching kids tough lessons that movies don't usually want to talk about. Which is like, it sets up this narrative where it's like Ralph has to prove that he's a good guy. And you expect in a classic movie way that he by the end of the film will figure out how to become the hero of his own game. Right. And the movie at the end goes like, everyone should just like, it's good to be the best version of who you are.

Play to your strengths. Right. Play to your strengths. You think it's going to be, you should just be yourself and that's what's most important or whatever. Right. Like the classic Disney message. And instead it's more like, look, not everyone is going to be good at everything. Which is the same thing that Monsters University does that I think is really audacious.

You and your fucking Monsters fucking University. They're not stay in your lane movies. Like, they're not like, fuck you. That comes late. That and your fucking monsters fucking university. They're not stay-in-your-lane movies. Like, they're not like, fuck you. That comes after this anyway. Right. Handicap your ambitions. Sure.

But they're movies about, like, understanding who you are and society. And accepting yourself is what matters. Not being yourself. That makes sense. There is a difference.

Ralph's, like, mantra, when she comes to believe at the end, the thing they say in the, like, villain and non-support group, is the, like, I am bad, and that's good. I'm not good, and that's not bad.

That thing is really kind of touching. And then the other thing is, I think the thing they pull with Vanellope, where I remember the first time I watched it, I was, like, in no way sniffing out King Candy as the bad guy, spoilers. And when he gives the big explanation to Ralph about, like about why she can't win and why she can't play, I was like, this is a genuinely compelling turn in the movie.

Right. That the guy you kind of think is the bad guy turns out to be the one who's presenting the catch-22. The movie is centered around. And you realize he's a fucking heel. Sure. He's the one who's trying to force people into boxes yes but he is also just trying to outrun death right uh which is interesting there's not a lot of disney villains i would say that is their primary motivation yeah like their primary motivation his secondary motivation is pride is the pride and also like many a villain a control

like global domination right he wants to be the king of uh the sugar rush yes but his primary motivation is that his game got unplugged right so he doesn't want to be dead yes you know right i mean i guess he could live in like the power strip forever yeah but who wants who wants that? It doesn't seem like a good life. Right, do they have to eat? Because sometimes he feeds Q-Bert, but like, does Q-Bert need to eat? There are certain questions I still have. Alan Tudyk's performance as

Turbo and King Candy is unbelievable in the first movie. But also, David, just a quick correction, you said he's trying to outrun death, and in fact he's trying to outrace death. Okay, well, should a quick correction. You said he's trying to outrun death, and in fact, he's trying to outrace death. Okay, well, should we talk about the plot? Now I think we got to finish the episode right there, right? But the other thing I like is that Vanellope, like the whole glitch thing,

they don't make it like, and here she's going to solve her glitch. Yeah, that is... Which would feel a little ableist if they did that if it was like and she's gonna conquer her impediment within the logic of the movies universe yes her glitch should go away because it was only invented because king candy fucked with her code right yeah uh it's it's good that right she's like but the glitch is cool. Like, the glitch is a cool thing. And every game has a glitch. The most, like, maudlin, free-to-be-you-and-me version, sort of reading of what the messaging of these films is, in my eyes, is anyone can be great by being the best version of themselves, not by fitting into society's notion of what a great person is, quote-unquote.

Right. I guess it has some similarity to Ratatouille. Yeah. Where it's right, like, not everyone can do everything, but anyone can be great at, well, that's not really, yeah. No, it's... It's its own thing. Right.

It's its own thing. And it's not a bad thing if you have a glitch. You don't need to be defined by a glitch, but you also need to hide your glitch. Yeah. Which is another thing about this movie. It's a big thing that you and kanye west have in common both of you are into fashion kanye west loves wreck it ralph there's an interview with him from a couple years ago where he starts screaming about wreck it ralph and saying that

i'm the glitch and no one understood me right he like relates really hard to Vanellope. Right. And her glitchdom. Glitchdom. Yeah. Yeah. I relate to Vanellope too. Yeah. I kind of have a little bit of a glitch. I don't know how I'm still here.

Well, that's what you're saying. That's my glitch. I made it. This is your origin story, right? It really is. Yeah. Friendship saved you.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, all right. All right. So I'm hosting and take us into the plot. Let. Yeah. All right. So I'm hosting. Take us into the plot. Take the steering wheel.

Did you all re-watch the first one? Yes. Yeah. Me too. I had never seen it, so I watched it with her. She must have loved it. Humble brag. Humble brag.

And in fact, thank you, Ben, for getting to that first one. Did you watch it with your gals? I did not. No humble brag for you, then? Nope. Uh-uh. She hasn't seen either. And Ben and I were hanging out with her right after we'd seen the movie and she got really hyped up by how into it Ben was

and I was like you're gonna want to watch the first one oh for sure I don't really know I don't know that the second one lands as hard well I guess it might you need the back story you need the back story because this is like this is like a friendship.

Yes. But you need, it's like hyper friendship now. I forgot how antagonistic they are towards each other in the first one. Because the second one, they start out being like the fucking best buddies of the world. Yeah. Like by the start of two, they're like Scooby and Shaggy. So you kind of need to know like what's touching about that is how far they've come. Right.

Okay. Plot time. Here he goes. So Ralph is a villain in this game and he pretty much just introduces the world. There's this

He's the Donkey Kong. He's the Donkey Kong. His game is essentially just sort of I'm gonna wreck it. He's gonna wreck it. That's his job. He wrecks Donkey Kong. He's the Donkey Kong. His game is essentially just sort of... I'm going to wreck it. He's going to wreck it. That's his job. He wrecks the building.

He's at the top. He's at the top like Donkey Kong. And then little Felix, he has a golden hammer, as we've talked about. He fixes stuff. I'm going to fix it. That was not good. That was... Geez.

No good. That was bad. Do you want to try again? Please, Lemon. No, I can't do it. Never mind. Go on. Okay.

And then there's some people that live in the building. The Nicelanders. The Nicelanders. And it's just a very simple, basic sort of world that he lives in. And he's living in trash. He's living on a pile of bricks. They don't invite him inside. He never gets a medal.

He doesn't get any support. No one cares. And so Ralph is kind of upset about that yeah so that's the beginning of the movie he's sick of it he's been doing it

for 30 years it's the anniversary it's the 30 anniversary they don't invite him to the party they don't invite him to the party I've been there

he's been there the little like house people what do you call them the nice landers the nice land do you call them the nice landers the nice landers they live in the nice landers apartment complex

their animation is so incredible I was about to say I love the animation on them so much and in general the first time I saw this movie I saw it with my roommate at the time

Molly my BFF and we just it was one of those things where we were like I don't know let's go see this movie like we were not like

wreck it wreck it wreck it and then we like watch it and we exit I remember Molly being like, that was delightful. You know what I mean?

Sort of surprising. Look at that thing. Well, even from the early points, you look at all these details where it's just like, okay, they've gotten the styles of all these games right, right? Then you go into, because it starts out with you seeing the game 8-bit style, right? You go into the screen, the way they translate that with the way the Nicelanders move, but even when Ralph wrecks the cake and the splatter from the cake is kind of pixelated. They just have such good consistent visual roles

and they do the thing that I love where it's just like, it's a thing that I think is really big in animated films where it's like, we're just going to establish a thing and explain to you its currency and its worth and why the whole movie will center around this thing.

Like the idea of the metal and what the metal means to everyone. Right. What it means to Ralph what it means to Vanellope both in being the coin in the race

Yes. and getting the apartment complex like it's like the same way the memory orbs work in Inside Out Well to me it's the screen canisters and monsters in

I think the thing that it's most like is the pop-up book in Pad paddington 2 where you're like on paper who cares it's just a pop-up book it's just a gold medal but like we have enough we understand from the beginning the emotional stakes associated that's so it doesn't matter even though it's a childish uh dream to attain it or whatever, we totally get why they want it. That's what I love in kids' movies,

is when something is invested with emotional stakes that it becomes the most valuable currency in the world. But I also like in this movie, it has literal applications that are different for different characters. Yes. I mean, that's also right. The very clever twist is that it means something much more practical to Vanell. Right, that she can cash in as a coin, that he can use it to get all this stuff.

It's really just tight, tight, tight as a drum. I agree. Tight as a drum. Tight as a fucking drum. So, Ralph doesn't like being the villain. So, Ralph crashes this party. Yeah, he wrecks it. And he wrecks it, and he decides that he's going to go and get a medal and be the hero of his game.

He goes to Tapper. Goes to Tapper. Oh, right. And the bartender who kind of is like a pseudo Mario. This is a real game called Tapper. That's like a marginal. Yeah. Really?

Yeah. A big game. That's a real game. You're trying to serve as many mugs of root beer as you can. Has to be root beer because it's for kids. Fun. It's a real game. You never played that game?

It's fun. I used to. I guess I used to when I was a sort of early teen, I guess. Yeah. I would go to this bowling alley because it was sort of like. First of all, the Budweiser 2, by the way, is in the screenshot David just showed. Really? For Tapper?

Yeah. I think that Root Beer. So maybe Disney was the one. I think the Root Beer thing is a Disney thing. Yeah. Yeah. It's. Well, but there's a Root Beer version, maybe.

Yeah. Originally, it was a Budweiser thing, and then a root beer Tapper followed. I just remember, because when this movie was announced, everyone was like, oh, Disney's like riffing on video games or whatever. And then when they were promoting it, like Rich Warren, people were like, we're really big video game fans. Look, we put Tapper in it. Like, this is when the nerd press started to be like, oh, is this movie made by people who like get it? Right.

Because in the poster they put like Sonic like front and center and Bowser and these guys like don't really have parts. No it's a one off joke for any of them essentially. Right. I was just going to say I used to go to this bowling alley because you know too young to go drinking. I mean you were probably like murdering people in ditches or whatever it is

you did as a 13 year old. But the bowling alley had an arcade with like old arcade games as tavern you know what's the thing i did what do you know um the canned air oh yes you mean we call them dusters yeah that's what i mean you're talking about like keyboard dusters yeah yeah gets you fucked up i'm aware yeah i mean those things have gotten me fucked up when i was just trying to like use them to clean a keyboard i was methodical about cleaning devices when i was like 14 and i would always get frustrated that they wouldn't let me buy them because of kids like you right they'd like card me trying to buy them and i'd be like i don't like dust in my keyboard would you

would you just like blow it in each other's mouths? Or in the nose? I mean, you just do it to yourself. Right. Yeah, you blow it in your mouth. You're just talking about whippets. In the woods. I think David was asking.

How are you alive? I don't know. David was asking your orifice of choice. Has anyone ever butt dusted? I mean, someone has, right? Oh, for sure. I mean, it probably would be really harmful. It probably would suck. Yeah.

Because, you know, when you do things through your butt, it's straight to your bloodstream. Also, it essentially would be like a reverse fart. Hey, David. Yeah. That was good. I like that. It was a reverse fart, you know? Yeah.

David was busy writing his master's thesis. Yeah. I was briefly distracted by Tapper. Okay, so Ralph goes off and we're now, he goes to the Tapper game and the bartender basically gives him some kind of scoop or something. But again, it's funny where the bartender, like, he's like, like his arm sort of moved jerkily. You know, all that stuff is so clever that they pulled that off. It's sort of like CGI low frame rate shit, which is, yeah, it's just really well done. Okay, so then, right, the bartender tells Ralph he has to go to Hero's Duty. Because they got medals there.

They got medals. He mentioned, it's the new game. No, I'm sorry. What he does is he says, check the lost and found. Oh, right, right. And when he's looking at the lost and found, drunk Joe Latrullio comes in from Hero's Duty. He's got PTSD. He won't stop ranting about the bugs

and the metal and Ralph is like I'm gonna steal this guy's costume I'm gonna go into his game which is akin to going turbo right

another thing I love although he denies that he's doing he's just like I'm just visiting essentially but they set that up so early and they say

you're not gonna go turbo are you right which I thought was funny just as a joke in and of itself like it doesn't sound

like exposition I'm like oh it sounds like a video game phrase they would use a term like going turbo. And you start to realize a specific thing.

It's this character who left his game and then, right, it fucks everyone up. It fucks everyone up. It fucks up the whole ecosystem if you jump games. Because suddenly

the game looks broken and so the game will be unplugged. And also, at this point in the movie, they've sort of set up the rules of then how the real world

and the video game sort of work. And like the power bar being kind of like the transfer station between all the games. That's where I'm just like suddenly like I'm rocking back and forth in my chair. I'm like, I can't believe how good this is. That the power strip is like an airplane. You know, like an airport. Let's call this out.

You love rules. When a movie sets up rules that well, you amped you get hard as a diamond as i as i know i'm hard as a fucking diamond as i noted in this movie's just like rules like david's like you're like obsessive like train like tendencies like come into play on this movie where you're like every train is arriving at the right time story- wise as i noted in my review of ralph breaks the internet yes you know this much like the my beloved matrix sequels is a world a series about the lives of computer programs now i mean ralph is technically i guess a video but it's the same concept right it's like you're in yes you're giving sentience to something that also must obey a program especially in two where they open it up and it's like okay the same kind of rules

apply to how every app becomes a character right of course all this stuff yeah and i love the idea of the right the conflict between the sentience you've given them and the programming they must obey it is great but it's like their job it's like their job. It's like their job though. Right. Well that, and especially in Ralph Breaks the Internet, that's where I'm like, wow, like they're talking about growing up and getting a job and how that's boring. And they've somehow made this very energetic film about that.

And how like, then you can't see your friends as much. Yeah. Ralph rules. Ralph rules. So he goes into hero's duty and you get this really intense action sequence I remember seeing this yeah it's like a Gears of War kind of game yeah yeah yeah but it is like very dark very violent they get away with it because it's robot bugs so the

violence doesn't feel but there's a lot of guns as you say yeah and there's the first person which I think is funny which is like a mounted screen that's a little, you know, it's like a little eight-year-old girl with glasses or whatever who is with the soldiers. Right. And you have Jane Lynch, who's fucking great in this, as Sergeant Calhoun, who's programmed with the most tragic backstory ever. That's what's funny. That's her burden. That just gets me. It's so good.

That first flashback where they go like, don't you know? It's like such a ridiculous. And it's also, you don't have to know video game stuff to get it. It's like, yeah. Just the joke of, not to like dissect the frog here, but the joke of, don't you know? And then you think they're going to explain the tragic backstory. And instead they go, she has a tragic backstory. Like the tragic thing is that she was given a tragic thing.

And just, they're having fun at the expense of these sort of uber bleak video games that were kind of flooding the market where it's like. The performatively, this is not for kids kind of. Right, but she herself is kind of like a mix between like a Master Chief and a Metroid, right? Yeah, for sure. And this is this point where it's like... It's a Halo spoof too, but for some reason the Gears of War was, yes, definitely a Halo spoof. But you have John C. Reilly, who's a movie star, but the other three people are like,

Sarah Silverman's still pretty much coming off a Sarah Silverman program at this point. Jane Lynch is the mean lady on Glee. And Jack McBrayer's the fifth lead on 30 rock like it was weird people to put in a big disney movie it was but i mean silverman is to me the most interesting i mean like uh obviously lynch and mcbrayer being cast to type yes you know perfectly yeah yeah uh the characters look like them yeah you're right i mean silverman i guess she's a pretty big deal at this point just sort of as a person she'd just been in like Take This Waltz to put her in a family movie

is weird no I agree with you I'm trying to think if like so the Sarah Silverman program ends

in 2010 so she's right yeah right yeah um yeah you set up

these parallel tracks now where it's like uh Felix and Calhoun once ralph has stolen the metal and and run off he gets ejected an escape pod lands in sugar rush with this metal and a bug and a bug big detail he got a bug yeah and so then we meet the world of Vanellope. Right. He gets pushed into Sugar Rush, which is a sort of Candy Crush meets Mario Kart style thing.

So here's the Weiger complaint. This is Nick Weiger, who's one of the great people. Yes. Would you agree? I couldn't agree more. Top 10 people. The Burger Boy himself. The best podcast.

Yes. Period. Co-host of Doughboys. Yes. Creator of the Monster Fuck. That's true. The Burger Boy himself. The best podcast. Yes. Period. Co-host of Doughboys. Yes. Creator of the Monster Fuck. That's true on Comedy Bang Bang. And he used to write for Comedy Bang Bang. Uh-huh.

He has the complaint that this is not really a video game movie, that it is a movie that is largely about candy. Right. Like he's like, I used to work in video games. Because we spent so much time in Sugar Rush and there are so many great candy jokes to be made that's his big thing was like i used to work in video games i love video games i was excited to see the roger rabbit of video games a movie that like called out all the tropes worked in all the sort of character types all of that and the first 30 minutes of this movie are definitely that yeah and then at minute like 27, he lands in Sugar Rush and it becomes like mostly Candyland puns.

Right. And you're mostly abiding by the rules of this one game. Do we see another game? I mean, obviously there are the jokes about like Q-Bird and Mario or whatever, but like. Nothing new gets introduced from this point on. Right. Like, I mean, you've set up the worlds and a couple of characters will come back from the power surge and all that sort of stuff. Surge Protector.

But at this point, it's primarily... Because even then, Felix and Calhoun very quickly are landing in Sugar Rush as well themselves. I would argue, though, mapping or the Mario kart sort of stuff that is in this right like if you think about the design of mario kart it's not that far off from like a banana peel versus like the complaint is that from that point on the major joke face get your hands from around my fucking kill you david don't you dare. Kill Weiger. It's not me. Go to L.A. and take him down.

I am. Take a bite out of him. Fold him like laundry. You gotta fold him like laundry. Fold him fucking like laundry. We love doughboys. Shout out to the spoon man.

The argument is that from this point on, the jokes stop being based around the video game tropes and start being based around candy puns. There's still some things that, yeah, look, the jokes

Laffy Taffy, that's good! Yeah, I mean, Candlehead, obviously, we stan a legend Excuse me, I made it clear Rance's flugger butter is my boy He's a little stinker and he's got a PMBAR cup on his head like a hat You know, there are certain jokes like I cheered when Rancis came on screen.

Ben can back that up. There were two other people in the theater that didn't like it. One thing, they got really mad when Gord came on the screen because I just started humping the chair. The script initially had a fourth game called Easy Living, I believe.

Extreme Easy Living. That was sort going to be like, Sims? It was sort of a Sims joke with a bit of the sandboxy Grand Theft Auto stuff worked in. A very mild version of it, obviously, because it's a Disney movie. And I guess it was just like there was going to be something about like

like buttons and stuff. I'm saying this because I feel like a lot of this gets put in Ralph, breaks the internet. They didn't have space right here but yeah uh another game that was references outrun which was the replacement that a game that made turbo go oh sure okay yes yes yes just saying yeah you have other things in there but yes the movie becomes right okay it's a little candy oriented vanellope vanellope wants to be a racer. They won't let her because she's a glitch. Right. You can't play unless

you got a gold coin. You can't get a gold coin unless you win. The fucking government shutting things down. Creating these Labyrinthian systems that the everyday person can't beat. So she steals the medal from Ralph. She throws it in the cup. She qualifies, but then they start flipping the

fuck out. They destroy her racer. And it becomes this pet cause of Ralph, even though Vanellope's been making fun of him, saying he's ugly, making a bunch of killer duty jokes. Definitely that he stinks. Right. That they gotta help each other. Yep.

Ralph trains to become a better racer. Right. Meanwhile... She sleeps on a bed of trash like a homeless lady yeah that has to be an ad lib right no she says i wrap myself up in these wrappers like a little homeless lady i'm like there's there's no way disney scripted that she is so fucking good in these movies and i think two she gets even better i i think she's just like outrageously good in these movies. Insanely good. Everyone's good in them,

but she kind of- Riley's great. In two she hits like a next level Hall of Fame voice performance. I think Tudyk is just fantastic. I know that King Candy is- I said early in this episode I think he's the MVP of this movie. I love him.

I'm not speaking to you. I'm saying like, I think in general, King Candy is not for everyone. He's certainly a very broad character. He's doing this kind of like Paul Lind voice. No, the guy he's really doing is Ed Wynn.

Ed Wynn, right, right, right. The floating uncle from Mary Poppins, who was a big Disney guy. Tudyk is so fucking, he's got so much range. Yeah. He has the range.

Right, and even in uh in uh into he plays mr knows more and i feel like that's another like oh he's doing a very specific type of animation voice you know from the 1960s like he's really good at aping these different classical styles he can also do his own voices he's the best uh unemotional robot voice in the business. He's a good chicken. He's a good chicken, but K2SO. Sunny for my robot. I did not murder him. And of course, America's favorite non-emotional robot,

Danger Boat. Oh yeah, of course. My love interest. Yeah. Is that going to get explored further? A lot. Season two, got a lot of stuff with Tudyk. Did you know that King Candy's the same voice as Dangerbolt?

No, I didn't. It's the same voice. I've never met him. I have so many scenes with him, I've never met him. I've never had any correspondence with him. Um, well, I'd like to shake his hand. I would too. I'd love to meet him. He's incredible. I was about to write. You haven't met him. You should meet him. No, I'd love to meet him.

Disney makes him, Disney, the new version of Disney You haven't met him. You should meet him. No, I'd love to meet him. Disney makes him, Disney, the new version of Disney Future Animation has made him their John Ratzenberger. Yeah. Where he's the one they work into every movie.

Whereas Ratzenberger has like one voice that is so recognizable and every time he shows up in a Pixar movie, you're like, oh, right, okay. With Tudyk,

you're like, oh, that's who Tudyk was? Every time with Tudyk, you're surprised that he was the chicken. He was just going, like that was his whole performance. He'syk you're surprised that he was the chicken and he was just going like that was his whole performance

he's so good yeah he is as a chicken as everything I'm a chicken Marge well here's the thing back to the movie yeah back to the movie

please King Candy reveals himself to be a bad man that's a little later I guess yeah we're racing through it yeah I don't know

I like the shit in the code I like that we see that i also just like i thought of you when that happened i was like this is david jerking it yeah but i like how much of a master manipulator he is towards ralph where he's just like i know i look like the bad guy i'm gonna explain this rationally yeah he gives like you stop questioning all right but wait wait that scene is great let's pull back because yeah exactly all the things like i like that ralph but wait wait wait that scene is great let's pull back

cause yeah exactly all the things like I like that Ralph is an inherently grumpy person his breath stinks his hands are big for smashing right

like so with Vanellope initially of course yeah he's kind of a heel the size difference between the two the size difference is so good

he is big I love the scene where they make the crummy racer for her and it looks so dumb and she's so like into it. It makes me

cry. She's such a good actor. Yes, because you were saying this was the same year as Take This Wall. She's incredible in Take This Wall. She is. She's great in that. And it's another thing where she's one of those comedic actors where when you give her a serious part, she doesn't tone down her charisma. She doesn't get too self-serious and dry away. A lot

of comedians, I think, make the mistake of going when they're like, oh, this is a drama. I shouldn't be funny. But she hits such precise emotional depths when she needs to. Right. And that means that the scene when

Ralph smashes the car is like so... I almost excused myself from the room because I knew it was coming up and I was going to be like I'm going to go make some tea I was going to try and be out of the room

for five minutes because I knew he was about to smash the car and I actually stuck it out I was like no I have to suffer through this again and at that point you're kind of buying King Candy's line so you're like fuck this is one of those emotional Kobayashi Marus where he has to look like an asshole in order to help her. Because King Candy's like, if she wins the race,

and she gets into the race, and the game gets shut down because they'll see it's a glitch, glitches can't leave the game. Right, but it's like you're watching, and you're like, the only way he can be a good friend to her is to make her hate him. And you're like, God, this sucks. And you don't even know how much worse it's going to get. Because King Candy was fucking with his head.

Yeah, he's turbo. But the other thing I just love about that turn is that Ralph is being forced to go to his primal nature, right? He wrecks. His shame. He doesn't want to wreck. He doesn't want to wreck. He doesn't want to be a bad boy. It is the thing he is best at.

But he's good at it. Right. He's's good at being bad how do they turn it around well also we should just mention that felix felix has teamed up with uh what is the character's name sergeant calhoun thank you sergeant calhoun and they have now discovered that there's a bug problem. Yep. And she also needs to get the medal for some reason. She's got to get the medal. It's got to be in her game. I think maybe it was. No, she just wants the bug dead. She wants the bug. She's all focused on the bug because she knows how bad they are.

Right, that's the thing. Felix wants to get Ralph back because otherwise their game is now out of commission. Their game is essentially. They're going to get shut down. Has like a day before it maybe is going to get shut down. And she's like, you don't understand how dangerous these bugs are. You need my help. They could infect everything.

And I think the reveal of all the eggs underneath Sugar Rush is really funny. Yeah. That's funny. I just like the horror movie stuff. This is one of those movies where it's like, every time they set something up that just seems like a funny joke in and of itself, it pays off later. Like the fucking Mentos and like the Coca-Cola, you're like like that's just a good candy joke but then you're like that's

like checkoff's gun oh no it is a good it's a checkoff's mentos but yes this is the thing where i'm like kind of siding with weiger where i'm like right there's a whole set piece built around men built around mentos and diet coke right that's not a joke about video game functions. That's a joke about how candy functions. There are things like the Devil Dogs. I'll fucking kick you guys out. The Devil Dogs, are you going to get the cards out? I will.

Death cards? Death cards to both of you. Oh, shit. We're both got death cards. You know, there's the Devil Dogs, which is funny. Mm-hmm. There's the donut. There's Quicksand.

There's Quicksand, the donut cops. Come on, let's think of what else. Beard Papa, played by John DiMaggio. That's weird. Weird. Weird that Beard Papa's in it. That Beard Papa is the security guard. Both of these movies have a surprising amount of what I imagine was a combination of, like,

this is a funny play on words, and also, like, Purple the Mattress Company paid us a million dollars to put them in our movie. I like Sour Bill. Sour Bill's a good guy. Sour Bill's a great guy. Sour Bill's a great guy. That's our disposition, but a kind heart. I feel like there's one other obvious...

I mean, I love that Vanellope's skirt is Reese's wrapper. Their designs are so good. All the kids. Minty Zocky. Candlehead, we said. Minty Zocky. Taffeta mutton fudge.

Rancis, flugger butter. Alright, well, I think we should get through the first movie. We're about an hour in. Whatever, they do it. He starts realizing, right, King Candy's Turbo. King Candy's Turbo. The race happens at the same time as Turbo turns into a spider person.

The bug! Because of the bugs, and the bugs are swarming everything and the race is kind of destroyed. And all the people are exiting the game because they think that the bugs are going to take over. But Penelope can't leave. Because she's not, she hasn't crossed the finish line yet.

Because she's a glitch and then if she does she'll become a real character. And Ralph realizes that the only way to save the day is to own being a bad guy to do the things well he owns his wrecking right he wrecks the Mentos

right yeah that's cute but that's the breakthrough is I don't need to be the one who saves I can be the one that wrecks and wrecking can save people wrecking can be great

and Vanellope's glitching can be great I don't need the revelation that Vanellope is a princess I like it because I think it is funny and I have good laughs when it happens. Me too.

I also like the part where she says she's going to execute everyone. That's fun. It's very fun. I am very happy. I'm just kidding. I'm very happy that in two, she resets to her comfy clothes that they don't have her like affect the princess thing. Now here's.

Here's the one thing I could do without the owl city song in the end credits sure uh yes yeah i mean it's in some ways the game is very the movie is very 2012 very uh because there's also that montage in the middle set to like rihanna's shut up and drive you know there's some there's some things where you're like isn't this a disney movie it's a death card. He's scratching it. So basically, Ben, you will brook no criticism. Is that your sort of...

You can't. No. No. The film was nominated for Best Animated Feature at the Academy Awards. I think it was viewed as the odds-on favorite. Kind of. We've talked about this before. This was a weird year.

I think Brave was always the favorite just cause of the Pixar factor Brave wasn't winning the precursors and everyone was like this is a misstep for Pixar this is when their their run ends and then Brave won and it was very odd

but it didn't win the Golden Globe for animated feature what that went to Brave so it did Brave did win that weird

it did however win the PGA award yeah speaking of award winning. Have you guys, have you guys like, I don't know, I'm trying to find betting. You guys, that was. Heard anything about. Insanely seamless.

Can I flip over some cards? Flip them over. And this isn't a death card. Here's a hand I've been holding under the table secretly, and I'm going to flip them over and show them to everybody. He brought his hand out. Sometimes there's some funny make-em-ups with these ads. Sure.

Okay, we lie. There are false premises, right? Uh-huh. I'm going to make a big confession here because I just want to live an honest life now. Okay. All these times we've been doing ads for Brooklinen, I didn't even have Brooklinen sheep. I was the Brooklinen. And they kept on sending me saying, hey, they want to send you a free sample. And I was like, hold your

horses, hold your horses. I'm disorganized and I don't like responding to emails. Yeah, Griffin, I don't know if you guys know this, but he's terrible at responding to emails. Probably the number one worst, Tumblebrag. So I moved apartments, I got a new bed. I've been the one standing the legend that is Brooklinen the entire time, which because I love my Brooklinens so much. Moved apartments, got a new bed i've been the one standing the legend that is brooklyn in the entire time which because i love my brooklyn and so much moved apartments got a new bed and then

wrote back to brooklyn was like hey is it too late to cash in that offer from nine months ago they sent me sheets within a week these things are so good i know genuinely i've been telling you i don't have to act anymore i'm sleeping on them every night i feel like a goddamn king well but you were never acting i want to be clear because like it was usually like we were talking to the guy who had like linens by the brook or whatever that was me that was me no that was the guy with the brook oh right of course i'm sorry that's delusional he's real shifty in his chair right now um but yeah no because did you realize that you spend a third of your life in the sheets and it was time for a bedding upgrade?

And what's crazy is I probably spent half of my life in the sheets. I don't like leaving bed. I genuinely now go to my bed at any hour of the day if I just need to sort of like relax and center myself.

Same here. Because I love those Lux Brooklyn in sheets. You got the Lux too. Yeah, I'm a Lux guy. They describe them as buttery and I'm like, am I going to like that? Is that going to feel weird?

Sometimes things can be too soft or whatever I guess. It's like perfect. It is. And Joe Gardner, our friend. And the more you wash them, the softer they get. Joe Gardner, our friend, had been like are Brooklyn actually good? Because you guys, I was like look, I don't know. I can't tell you. I haven't actually ordered them. And he was like I'm going to use the code and order them. And he was like these are genuinely the best sheets I've ever had. They are.

I mean they're five star hotel quality sheets. They're affordable. They're easy to order because they just work directly with the manufacturers and directly with the customers. There's no middlemen. So it's cheaper. You can get mix and match. They're like 20 colors and patterns. What's up, Ben?

Ben's raising his hand. I have a question. Sure. Shoot. How many colors do they have? Do they have patterns? Different patterns too? All of it.

20 colors. 20 plus colors and patterns. Damn. And they've got towels, robes, sleep masks. I'm genuinely going to get a second set. I'm going to order a second set at full price

but I'm going to use our promo code. I have multiple friends who've used our promo code to get two sets. I can't recommend this thing highly enough. And have like literally

junked their like old sheets. I don't want to show favoritism but I will say this goes into Griff's ad read. Hall of Fame with RX Bar. These are two products I love, cannot vouch for enough.

Yeah. Anyway, they've got an exclusive offer for blank check listeners. You can get $20 off and free shipping when you use promo code check at brooklynin.com. Brooklyn's so confident in their product that they use all their sheets, comforters, and towels with a lifetime warranty. The only way to get $20 off and free shipping

is to use promo code CHECK at brooklynin.com. So do you hit option, command, and then like eight? Correct. Is that what it is? Yes. And then you have to open up MS Paint and you have to draw a check mark. Oh, okay.

No, you go to B-R-O-O-K-L-N-I-E-N.com, promo code CHECK. You can get $20 off and free shipping. Hey, look, and I'll say this. Great Christmas, holiday, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa present for anyone you love, or great present for yourself. Maybe treat yourself a little nice this holiday season. Yeah.

Well, I'm sold. So Wreck-It-Off 2 ends with everything being perfect. Yeah. They're now good friends. Peace has spread throughout the gaming land. The people are nice to her now.

I mean, to him, sorry. On both sides. The Sugar Rush people accept Vanellope, the other kid racers, the nice landers are nice to Ralph. Everyone kind of understands the ecosystem. We all play our parts. We all help each other. Don't villainize the other. And it's so nice too because they get some of the the games like cuber and the the the characters that don't have a home anymore they bring them into the fold

because wreck it ralph has good values right so it's. It loses the Oscar. It gets great reviews. It underperforms relative to the other modern Disney films. It's the only one of the modern run that doesn't crack 200 domestic. Yeah. So we're going to do the box office game. You're right. 189 domestic. I mean, a good number.

471 worldwide. I just remember seeing the trailer and being like, this is going to make all the fucking money in the world. You made a wildly inaccurate prediction about a Disney movie movie we'll get to that in a second okay so box office november 2nd opens number one 2012 it opens at number one with 49 million dollars i was gonna guess the number oh sorry okay what were you gonna guess i was gonna guess 47 i would have been off by two. Pretty good. Number two is an R-rated grown-up drama with a big star from a big director that was a moderate hit. Got awards attention. Was it opening this week?

Yes. And opened at number two. What was the final box office total? 93 million domestic. Huh. And it did get some Oscar play. I believe it got two nominations. Were they both performances? No, one was writing and one was performance, I think.

One was writing, one was performance at the studio. Drama from a big director? Yeah. And the performance was in a leader or supporting category? Lead. Big star. A big director. Yeah. And the performance was in a leader or supporting category. Big star. Performance, a big star. 93. Oh, fuck.

I'm so close to saying. I believe the movie was Flight. Correct. Cool. Opening to 24 million. Number three is that year's Best Picture winner. That year's Best Picture winner is, of course, Casper, A Spirited Beginning. You did it.

2012. No, it's Argo. That's right. Still doing well. Still doing good. This is... Came out in September. It's still in the top five in November.

It's in its fourth week. So I guess it came out very early October, maybe. Maybe that's right. First week. Yeah, because I think, yes, October. Yeah, early October. Number four. And it brought Ben Affleck right back up to the top, and he stayed there very comfortably.

It's more like arg no. I'd say arg okay. It's arg okay. It's arg okay. Arg okay. Number four is a new movie this week, and it is directed by a legendary rap artist. Is it The Man with the Golden Fist?

Close. It's the right movie, but the wrong title? Yeah, wrong metal. Fuck, it's not golden? No. It's Man with the Bronze? No. I mean, think about the artist.

This is the movie I'm thinking of, right? It's the RZA's movie. Just say the right metal. What metal does another member of the Wu-Tang Clan really love? Sort of. What? Why am I not thinking of this? Ghostface.

What metal does he love? This metal. He's guessed three metals. No. Come on. What metal does Ghostface have? this uh silver he's guessed three battles and they're all no come on what metal this goes what's the last look like an idiot right now you do what's the last word in the title you you said it right fist okay what's a metal that goes with fist it's a metal that goes with fizz brass i'm actually i'm actually amazed he gets a fourth metal that's wrong yeah i mean fair enough but no no there's like tin aluminum what is this a bit silver gold bronze brass tin aluminum i have to get it eventually right now i just want you to name metals miraculous

pewter it's not really a medal. Yeah. What's the big medal I'm forgetting? There's plenty. I mean, you want to reel off some more medals? If you have clothes. Okay, if you have clothes and they're wrinkled. What do you do?

Iron fist. What's he doing a bit? I can't tell. Ironing. I know you got it right. The man with the iron fist. I wasn't doing a bit. Okay can't tell. Ironing. I know you got it right. The man with the iron fist. I wasn't doing a bit. Okay.

I couldn't think of that. Marvel's iron fist. Yeah, I get it. And then, of course, Ghostface likes Iron Man. Right, of course. Anyway, I made 15 domestic. Yeah, okay. That was fun.

Yeah, we had a great time. What a straight. Tin hand? You remember that tin hand, the man with the brass fist. I remember everything except for that. I was going to say like, you remember that movie,

which was, you know, pretty quickly forgotten. Remember that it was like, uh, directed by the weekend. It came out. I mean,

Russell Crowe is right. And you're like, that's right. But you can't remember higher. Wait, what can I tell you? Number five. I'm a little stinker. You are.

Number five. I'm a regular rancid slugger, buddy. Is a sequel, an action sequel. It's an action sequel. In its fifth weekend, it's made 125 domestic. Wow. So it came out September? That sounds right.

It's an actional made 125 domestic. October 5th, actually. Was it the number two in the franchise? Yes. Was it the last one? No. How many more have they made? One more, I think.

There's three of them. It's a tight trilogy. Does it have a big action star in it? I mean, he is now. He hasn't always been. Oh, is it Taken mean, he is now. He hasn't always been. Oh, is it Taken 2? Correct. One of the best premises

for a sequel. We've talked about it multiple times. It is not good. I wasn't going to relitigate. I was just going to say it's not a good movie. No. But you're right that Wreck-It Ralph does not make the kind of money where you're like, Disney's going to have to make a sequel. Like Frozen.

Tangle does two. Frozen does 400. Zootopia does 350. The thing about Frozen was. Moana does 250. Disney never does sequels to the princess shit in theaters, but it was like Frozen is just such a phenomenon. They can't not make a sequel in this movie making climate.

The thing that was interesting was when they announced the Ralph sequel it felt like we're making this because there's potential in this universe not because it's the one as much that's demanded by the numbers. You know maybe it was one of those movies that just killed on video like Disney just liked the numbers they were seeing.

I think it grew. I think it's really kind of stuck in the culture. I think people like the characters I get the sense the merchandise still sells well. All of the above. And I think Rich Moore. I think it's really kind of stuck in the culture. I think people like the characters. I get the sense the merchandise still sells well. All of the above. And I think Rich Moore had sort of become their hot guy. Zootopia was sort of a problem. I was writing letters. Ben was writing a lot of letters.

Zootopia had sort of become a problem film, and after Ralph, they put him on Zootopia to try to fix that, and then Zootopia blew up, and he won an Oscar. I got a cease and desist. I think he had been trying to make a Ralph sequel at that time before they put him on Zootopia blew up and he won an Oscar. I got a cease and desist. I think he had been trying to make a Ralph sequel at that time before they put him on Zootopia.

Sure. And I wouldn't be surprised if he was like, I'll do Zootopia if you let me make a Ralph 2. Because then very shortly after Zootopia, this was announced.

Zootopia was such a hit. Yeah. Such a hit. Yeah. I don't know. What if cartoon but woke? So Zootopia, which we're not discussing.

At all. And then... Well, David, don't try to keep it moving. Ben, of course, is the host of this episode. Oh, yeah. Well, so to get us back on track. Yeah. God, David.

Woo! So, of course, I'm a kind of a connoisseur of context. Are you guys? Yeah, a little bit. Oh, okay, cool. So I just? Yeah, a little bit. Okay, cool. So I just wanted to sort of let our listeners know just like contextually where I saw this movie. Uh-huh. And it was a few days ago and I was with a good friend of mine named Griffin Newman.

Downtown Griffin, yeah. And Griffin and I went over to the Kips Bay AMC, not far from where we are currently recording. No, not at all. It was a rainy night? The rainiest night. I got hit by a car on the way to the theater. I didn't tell you this. Oh yeah, Griffin got hit by a car. Clipped by a car.

It fully hit me. I'll say this. It hit me as directly as a car could without seriously injuring me. I walked it off but it was like oh but for the grace of god like a millisecond's difference i had the right of way there was a white pedestrian light it was raining very hard and this car full-on turned and hit me and i like in a rare

move of aggression like hit the hood of the car sure and did my like pointing at the light like what the fuck and the guy i looked i made eye contact with the guy and the guy had such like fear in his eyes because he had just thought he was about to murder somebody right of course i mean it's the ultimate nightmare like it was raining so hard he took a quick turn you could like barely see ahead of you yeah and i think he like put the brake at the last millisecond so that I didn't get injured. Where are we talking? Where? He was turning on to try to get onto the.

So you're crossing with the light. And he. I was crossing with the light. He's got the green light to go ahead, but he's just turning recklessly. Correct. Right. He didn't have the light for the turn. Sure.

And then I walked three more blocks, got to the theater and said to Ben, I just got hit by a car. And I sat down in a theater. Well, you were wet. I was soaking wet, which Ben really liked. I was a little bit wet. Ben does like him wet. A little bit wet. Yeah. And we watched this movie. Now, first of all, I want to say

for a little bit of context, there was a trailer that came up that we've been saying we were going to talk about on this episode. It's a movie called Spies in Disguise. Okay. Let's cross it off the list. We have a list of things of bullshit we have to talk so okay no i think goes to me ben like so the trailers started and griffin's like okay pay attention i said ben pay attention david wants to talk about this on the episode yeah i saw this

trailer whenever the day it came out now your original plan was you want to have ben watch the trailer live while recording so we get the real-time reaction. And I said, look, it's ruined, but just watch this and take note of what's going on. And about 60 seconds into the trailer, we're watching Very Hip Spy, voiced by Will Smith, who I don't believe has any dialogue in the trailer up until that point. But he's doing cool debonair things. He's like some sub-Incredible 60s-style spy shit. And I went, Ben, you think you're on the same track as this movie, right? And he went, yep. And I went, cool, just pay close attention.

And then there's a hard cut to a little pigeon in a oversized tuxedo crumpled on the floor. And Ben turns to me and he says, good. I'd say he laughs like that first but only for about two seconds and then the laugh clips off abruptly and he turns to me and says good because you see in Spies in Disguise the secret agent guy

turns into a pigeon gets turned into a pigeon it's the highest concept movie ever here's what if but like it's beyond high concept what if Will Smith the world's coolest super spy gets turned into a pigeon right but it's not like one of those things where you're like well of

course you know classical literature shakespeare man into pigeon is one of the you know one of the archetypes of storytelling here you know where this is going he's a very cool spy he's got a lot of gadgets he's very slick and handsome people like him of course it gets turned to a pigeon what is the yin to man's yang it is pigeon what's on the other side of this coin well they try to justify it they say what better way to to disguise yourself they're everywhere no one pays attention to them surely i mean i could be a chameleon i guess the thing about this movie is every time its logic is in defense i'm like yeah i guess you're right and then of course i see this trailer and then i was i went away for a weekend um with david or like his wife uh me and my girlfriend went away double humphrey and the

girls or at least whatever like you know we were like we're gonna watch this trailer when we get you know no spoilers yeah we watched the trailer obviously it goes over great well and we were talking about this the other day how the thing is you could pause this trailer and say to someone guess what you think happens next and with the pre-warning of there's a crazy there's a twist coming right and like infinite number of times infinite number of universes no one would guess it right but also you could never over hype it to someone like no one would watch the trailer and go you know what i'm sorry when you told me there was a crazy twist i just imagined something much crazier so i was let down by the reveal in the trailer right right you're never gonna yeah exactly um but then uh i'm like spies in disguise wait a

second spies in disguise they're in disguise they're in disguise they're in disguise. They're in disguise. They're in disguise. Spies in disguise. They're in disguise. I get it. Disguise. Like Aloha. It's about disguise. The tagline is Super Spy, Super Fly.

The cast, of course, is Will Smith as Special Agent Pigeon. Lance Sterling, I believe. Tom Holland plays the tech genius millennial tween

who turns him into a pigeon. And the other names here, Rashida Jones, Karen Gillian, and who, of course, do you put in your animated film? Legendary pussy non-eater, DJ Khaled. Legendary annoying influencer who doesn't, you don't really get why he's so famous. Well, let's make him a movie star too. The definition of a man where you go he's not that attractive but he's probably generous with oral dj chow can you imagine the confidence of being dj callan saying like i'm not gonna do that

he said it on like a isn't it also i didn't even i don't even remember it's one of the great interviews it's up there like frost n. It's one of the great interviews. It's up there with like Frost Nixon. It's one of the all-time great interviews. But isn't it where they're just sort of talking... How does it come up? He volunteers it independently. No, I know.

But like, why is it even up for discussion? I don't remember. You're saying culturally, why is it even... No! It's like, the guy doesn't say like, do you eat pussy? Like, I think it's more like they're just talking about sex in some way. Right, and he's like, by the way, I don't even know. Right?

Like, isn't it kind of- He's talking about, like, his wife. I think that's the context. Yeah, right, right. And their relationship or something. And then he really grossly says, like, I never do that for her. But I expect that she does that for me. He's talking about that.

He's saying, like, you got to keep it up in the marriage. You got to keep things exciting. You can't just let the fact that you've been together for a while, you know, get complacent. You know, I let her know, like, she has to keep doing that. And they were like, and you probably do the same, right? And he's like, absolutely not. And I remember

the DJ is just sort of like, what? Come on, man. You got it. What are you talking about? By the way, this was not on the list of topics we were planning to discuss today. We have a long list. But his explanation, and this is very sound logic and you can't argue with it, is, no, but I'm the king.

You have to understand, I'm the king of the house. Who fucking... But she's the queen and he went, no, but it's different. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do that. Spies in disguise. Okay, so here's what I want to tell you about Spies in Disguise. Because your mind was blown by this trailer,

and you were like, how do they fucking get to this concept, right? There was a man. I'm waiting. I'm listening. Works in the entertainment industry, works in animation, works in video games,

self-produced his own animated short film. Okay. It has a name, right? It's like Operation Pigeon or something? Correct. I believe it's called pigeon impossible okay they definitely upgraded with spies in disguise fox and blue sky you are correct it's called pigeon impossible i've watched the short i did my research for this okay okay fox buys this short for a ton of money and then hires other people to write and direct a movie this movie's been in development for a while.

So Fox sees this and is like, I don't even care about this piece of shit. We just need Spy Turns Into Pigeon. We need this so desperately. David, you're half right and half wrong because I'm saving the reveal of what happens in the short. Okay? But Fox sees a thing made by an outside independent animator and they go, we will pay you

millions of dollars to have the rights to this short. don't want you making a feature film adaptation we're gonna hire other people to do it this concept is so money we fucking need this working through working through different iterations different teams they finally a year ago announced will smith the film is now called spies in disguise here's the premise he's the world's sleekest super spy and his assistant is a tech kid okay and you go what based off a short called pigeon impossible what does this have to do with anything okay and all the times they were talking to me they were like it's just a comedy about a very cool spy and an odd couple pairing with a weird tech kid right so i went and watched this trailer the the original before the trailer was uh uh released i

went and watched the short the original short film Here's the premise of the short film. There is a cool spot. Walter Beckett or whatever. He's got a briefcase. That is the briefcase that activates the nuclear codes. And launches all the missiles to blow up the world or whatever. There's a pigeon.

He's sitting on a bench with it. There's a pigeon who's trying to eat a bagel. Through a weird series of circumstances no dialogue in this short pigeon gets stuck in the case and the entire short is a pigeon is stuck in a case he activates the red button and the spy is trying to free the pigeon and stop the missile from blowing everything up okay fox sees this goes we need to make a movie out of this right immediately realizes what's the premise. Right.

But they've already spent so much money for this concept, they have to work the pigeon into it somehow. So the premise becomes the spy is the pigeon. Because what they bought was pigeon gets trapped in a suitcase. What you're describing is good business strategy. Yes. Where it's sort of like, I i don't know whatever idiot made the initial acquisition runs into fox breathless goes i've just seen the most incredible shirt in my life

a pigeon gets caught in a suitcase i offered him six million dollars right we gotta do this and they're like what how do you make it two hours watch it and they're like this isn't a movie and the guy's like yeah maybe you're right wait maybe $19 million? But the check has already been deposited. They can't at this point just make a comedy about spies because then what did you spend the money on? So then they assemble like Stephen Zalian, like Jenny Lumet, right? They call in all these ringers and they're like,

someone walks in, like Alec Baldwin and Glengarry Glen Ross walks in and writes on the whiteboard like, spy plus pigeon. Yes. You gotta figure this out the equation that's all we need these two elements correct put it together correct i i don't know what else i'm sorry but like this is something you have a week isn't that incredible yeah it's great so that's how you get to that movie is i don't know i guess the spy turns into a pigeon because we spent money on a

spy and a pigeon and we need them both to be in the same movie. That having been said, if that Will Smith pigeon spy ends up in a suitcase in the movie, I will lose my shit. If they've actually worked in that set piece, I will lose my shit. I will cheer. I will stand a legend. That is spies in disguise. Stand a legend. All right.

Can we cross off the list? Yep. Done. I crossed off the list. Okay. So here's another prediction eight more things i think the live action quote unquote lion king will be the highest grossing film in history oh so we're just doing this david thinks i'm a fool and i just want to say this on the record right now now we're going to source out to our listeners david has said we

should have a bet with something at stake sort of a steak dinners type bet but perhaps something a little crazier not in terms of, but maybe in terms of... Certainly not in terms of expense. Involvement. In terms of ridiculousness. Oh, sure. I'm interested. Or I was trying to think of like a more novelty meal.

Right. Like that you would want to like, you know, it's like we owe each other dinner at Mars 2112. Close down. Except that's close down. But like... A Chuck E. Cheese, a Medieval Times. I mean, it has to be something that has a little like pep to it as a bet.

You know? You know, I've never been to Dave and Buster's. David, you would love Dave and Buster's. I mean, it's right there in the name. My girlfriend hasn't been to Dave and Buster's either. And I told her about it. And she... Humblebrag.

She found out for the first time that it existed. And she was like, what is this place? And I was like, imagine Chuck E. Cheese, but it's a bridge and tunnel bar. And her brain exploded. So how about whoever wins the bet has to like treat you and everyone. The problem is I will be going there tomorrow night with my girlfriend

because now she knows it exists. Fair enough. I thought you guys were going to take it more like he has to drink milk and you have to do something you don't want to do. I mean, that's another avenue here. Okay. You don't like milk? I hate it. It's the worst thing in the world. I don't want to make him drink

milk. I don't either. It'd be funny though. I won't have to because Johnny Favs is going to clear two billion. Alright, so you think The Lion King, which is directed by Jon Favreau, and is going to come out in July of 2019. I believe the exact 20th anniversary, 25th anniversary of

the original film it's coming out the same day 25 years later is that right nostalgia at an all-time high uh who's gonna play the baboon oh really who's june who's playing the baboon it's um uh what's his name it's uh john connie right the father from black panther rafiki yes john connie the legendary south african playwright who is a great revered playwright and actor but like revered playwright is now just kind of like a Disney guy that does like

Black Panther and the Lion King Robert Guillaume you know Benson played the fucking Rafiki show some respect the great Robert Guillaume no he's great but I'm saying like for Rafiki the first time they were like oh oh, let's get Robert Guillaume. He's got funnies. Let's sitcom star. This time they're like, let's get legendary

playwright. Well, Jon Favreau I think correctly was like, oh, maybe Lion King shouldn't star predominantly white people. Robert Guillaume was black, but yes. Robert Guillaume and James Earl Jones and everyone else in the cast was white. Pretty much. Matthew Broderick does not seem like someone from the African plains. Wait a second. You're telling me Matthew Broderick isn't black

you know me Simba from Africa yeah this time I feel like the only Donald Glover, Beyonce of course the great African American actor Billy Eichner no I mean Timon and Pumbaa are white because I don't know tradition

I think this movie is going to make such a stupid amount of money Timon and Pumbaa are white because I don't know. Tradition. I think this movie's going to make such a stupid amount of money. I think it's the exact kind of movie where no one thinks about it being the level of blockbuster it's going to be. They're like, well, it's Disney, whatever. It's going to make money. But every time one of these things comes out, people are astonished by how much it overperforms.

Look at Beauty and the Beast. Look at fucking Jungle Book. Right, but they were not even close. But they've been escalating. They've been growing bigger and bigger. They have been getting bigger and bigger. You have the Lion King, which is the most beloved of that generation. Yeah, I

would agree. There's a new Lion King show on the Disney Channel. New generations of kids are getting really into it. The trailer just broke all the fucking records outside of Infinity War. Yeah, but so what? Infinity War didn't crack the record. It's true.

I don't care about trailer views. I think this movie is like the definition of like a four quadrant slam dunk. You have Beyonce in it. I've got my... Go ahead. I think the music's gonna activate people. I think everyone's gonna go see it. It's this fucking technical thing you gotta see in it alright so I've got my I've got my you go ahead I think the music's gonna activate people I think everyone's gonna go see it it's this fucking

technical thing you gotta see in theaters sure sure sure I think it's one of those movies where unlike Infinity War where everyone's like breathlessly like

talking about everything no one seems like they're that excited for it and then literally everyone will go see it when it comes out even the people who hate it that's all possible

yeah but even if that happens that's not that's not how you get to the top if everyone happens, that's not how you get to the top. If everyone sees it? Yes, that is how you get to the top. No. How you see it is everyone sees it

again and again and again. That's how Titanic and Avatar did it. Okay. You got to get those return viewings. I think they'll get return viewings. No, because here are two problems. One, this movie is a bowl of farts. In your opinion.

There's no question that this movie is going to be a bowl of farts. I'm not saying no question that this movie is going to be a bowl of farts it looks good i'm saying that everyone's gonna see it four times no they are yes they are too because it's gonna suck much like beauty and the beast it's gonna be either you're like oh this is exactly like that movie i remember or it'll be like that song in beauty the beast where the beast is like i am the beast and it's terrible that I hate being the Beast. And you're like, what's this shit song? We still have a whole second Ralph movie to talk about.

You know what I mean? Where he's just like, I am the Beast. For the listener at home, David's arm movements are really funny. He's doing a really good impression of the Beast's arms. And then you come out later and you're like, what was that song? And it's like, you read, like Tim Rice was like,

I just wanted to add a song to that perfect score I wasn't involved with. And what I'm saying to you is that I think Jon Favreau is pitching this one straight down the middle. He is. And he's just essentially doing a shot for shot. And it's just trying to activate

all the feels. It's one of those movies where everyone's gonna see that trailer and they get choked up and they go, oh, remember when I was a kid and the fucking 3D release

of The Lion King. Now, you said it made $200 million. I have no idea where you got the number from. It did not. It made $94 million. Domestic.

Oh, I don't know about worldwide. These things matter. I think it's gonna be both records. I think it's going to be both records I think it's going to be the highest grossing domestic and worldwide film in history on the record please tweet at us with what you think the stakes of the bet

should be just to finish this I have some numbers for you one what is the highest grossing children's film ever made which this is a children's PG or lower I hate this argument of yours because your argument highest grossing children's film ever made, which this is a children's, you know, PG or lower. I hate this argument of yours because your argument is pure children's film and I

would argue that all these films that are, have outgrossed it are films that also worked for children and that's what the Lion King is going to do because it's for the adults who grew up with the Lion King and for the children as well. It's closer to Force Awakens in that sense. Right. What? what frozen the answer is frozen the 13th highest grossing film of all time 1.2

million dollars if you double that gross double it you are not the highest grossing film of all time that's doubling it i don't think that's the right comp. What's the right comp? I think any number of things are the right comp. Beauty and the Beast is the same. It's 1.2. And if you double it, you don't get to 2.7, which is the Avatar number. Now, you just said that you don't care about worldwide. Sure. But now you're throwing out worldwide numbers.

Well, I thought the bet was worldwide. I'm talking both. Well, the domestic record is 936 for star wars uh-huh that is very that's gonna that's staggering and the other thing i'm getting the beast at 504 and no one liked it yeah it sucked yeah and this one no one's gonna like it either it'll probably make 600 million dollars you're gonna hate it everyone's gonna like it and forget about it a year later but everyone's gonna like it when it comes out um here's the other thing i just want to remind you that you gave jungle book a good review when it came out.

And now you're like, no one liked the Jungle Book. I didn't give it a good review. I believe you did. You saw it and you were like, it's good. I saw it and I was like, it's okay. I did not review it. I think Chris reviewed it. But here's the other thing.

What's the highest grossing summer release of all time? What's the highest grossing summer release of all time in Fandewar? Yes, which made $2 billion. It is harder to gross that kind of crazy money in the summer because other movies are coming in and chopping things up. Those big three guys, the Titans,

Avatar, Titanic, and Force Awakens, they were winter releases. That's where the money's made. But you kind of got to release Lion King in the summer because it's sunshiny. Look, I like the bet. Right, Ben? Oh, Ben's in a deep sleep? Yeah, because we're not talking about

Ralph. I like the bet. The thing's going to clear two Bill, no question. So I'm willing to take the risk on the spread in between two Bill and the record. That's fine. I admire your bet. Episode 9 comes out that December. Frozen 2 comes out the record. That's fine. I admire your bet. Episode 9 comes out that December. Frozen 2 comes out that November.

There's no question Disney's going to run the table on that year. Disney's going to have another depressingly intense year, yes. Right. You have Avengers 4 in April. Could be a big year. Could be a big year. Could be a big year. You know my arguments have merits.

Toy Story 4 in June. Yeah, Toy Story 4. Spider-Man in July. Well, that's Sony. Sure. Yeah. Are we going to be here for five hours? No.

Okay, so take the Detective Pikachu and Toy Story 4 topics off the minutes. We'll talk about that later another time. The sound you're hearing are a million voices rise crying out in terror well we'll say we'll save that for another that we'll talk about you don't want to talk forky we'll talk forky another time we'll talk about forky in our big eyes episode okay so what else is on the minutes that we have to talk about other than ralph too uh john hodgman left us a voicemail oh yeah let's play the john hgman voicemail. Do you have it queued up Ben or should we save it

for the end of the episode? Hold on. Is that the last thing on the minutes? I've written down live action people directing animated movies. Oh here's the thing

I'm going to talk about to fill the time because this episode is running a little short. There's a weird trend I've noticed. This is one of those Griffin was just like

write this down and I was like okay. It'll make sense later. There's a weird trend I've noticed. This is one of those, Griffin was just like, write this down. And I was like, okay. It'll make sense later. Right. There's a weird trend I've noticed, which is animation often, directing teams, one or two directors,

part of it being a large thing where you need people with different specialties, you need multiple people to oversee projects. Sure. There's a weird trend I've noticed in which these animated films have one director

who has no previous experience in animation. They bring in someone who is like a live-action screenwriter or a comedy person. Who else is there? Okay, so Ralph breaks the internet. One of the two directors, I believe, is Phil Johnston. Right. He's like Rich Moore's co-writer or something?

He was on the first Ralph, but his big thing was... And Zootopia. Okay, but his thing was they pulled him in from live action he's the cedar rapids guy is he not i believe he wrote it correct yeah he was a live action guy who pixar started doing this being like let's find good indie screenwriters and have them punch up our scripts and whatever but then now these guys start to direct these things as well okay interesting this is a man with no animation background it's a live action background but he did work

with more on the other two. So maybe it's like... I'm saying he came in through the ranks. But usually animation directors, it's like, you went to animation school. You worked as an animator.

You used to draw shit yourself. Okay? Yeah. Spider-Man Far From Home. Peter Ramsey. Not Far From Home. I'm sorry. Into the Spider-Verse.

Peter Ramsey, director of Rise of the Guardians. There's a second guy. Because this film has three directors. The second guy has an animation background. The third person is Rodney Rothman, who was like a fucking Letterman writer. Yeah, he was.

The Grinch, co-director, Scott Mosier. Oh, who's that? Kevin Smith's old producer. Oh, yeah. All right. He's one of the SMOD cast people. Yes. Storks, co-director, Nick Stollerod cast people yes Storks co-director

Nick Stoller we all remember Storks I'm just saying you got these things where they get like a comedy writer director I just googled Storks

and I just got a Wikipedia entry for like Storks like the birds there they are Ben is so mad that we're not talking Ralph Wright

pissed okay did you pull up the voicemail I just think it's an interesting thing that should be talked about where these animation studios are like bring on someone with an edgy live-action sensibility. We don't want these animation nerds.

Cut that animation nerdery with some guy who's been slinging jokes in the live-action sphere with fleshies. None of these tune jokes. Give me some fleshy writers. Okay, Ben, here's a voicemail from John Hodgman. I have no idea why he left his voicemail. Hey, Griffin. This from John Hodgman. I have no idea why he left his voicemail. Hey, Griffin, this is John Hodgman. I'm glad you did not pick up because I don't want to talk to you. I just wanted to leave a voicemail for the Blank Check podcast.

I was just listening to this podcast. Oh, hi, David. Have we met? I'm not sure. Anyway, I was just listening to this very good podcast called the Blank Check Podcast as I drive north through a rainstorm for a wedding in Lake Placid, New York. And I just wanted to let you know, Ashley Johnson is not working a lot, okay? Ashley Johnson is a series regular on Blindspot, which is a big hit TV show on a broadcast network on real television. She works every day as a series regular, I fan favorite, playing Patterson, the lab super genius, and now foil to equally talented

Ennis Esmer of Canada. I bring this up because this is a broadcast show that I was on for two episodes. She was my scene partner in two episodes in which I played a bad guy. And she was amazing, amazing. I concur with you, amazing actor, obviously. And then my character was killed. But she continues to go to Steiner Studios every day, which is 20 minutes from my house, and work this job. I go to Steiner Studios every day to drop off my son at school and look in the gate and wish they would have me back. I get a little personal. Anyway, love

the podcast. It was fortunate hearing more of it. What I wanted to do is correct the record. Ashley Johnson is doing amazing work on Blindspot. Thank you very much. Check out my two episode arc on Blindspot from season one. Check out my two episode arc with the wonderful Laura Kirk,

who is your guest on this podcast, this episode, on Mozart in the Jungle. And check out my new podcast, two-episode arc, with John Hodgman about all my two-episode arc. And then check out my multi-episode arc with my friend Griffin Newman on The Tick, which is a good show, even though it's now on NBC. Excuse me, my voice started to get a little strained there.

Also, check out all my great voicemails on different podcasts, and of course, vacation land available now on Big Mac. Talk to you guys later. Bye. Okay, so just a couple explanations, not that that needs any explanations, because obviously the entire voicemail is very self-evident. You didn't tell me it was mostly about blind spots. So of course that voicemails and direct response to six weeks ago, our episode on what women want. Oh yeah.

She's the, when we said Ashley Johnson, she's the daughter. She's the daughter. And he was enraged by the fact that we said she still works a lot. Right. And felt the need to correct us. Yeah. Drop a couple of his credits there. Yeah.

At the beginning when John Hodgman says, I'm glad this went straight to voicemail because I don't want to speak to you. I want you to know that I was woken up that morning. Right. I believe this was a weekend, a Saturday or Sunday. John Hodgman called me at about 9 a.m. I picked up the phone. He went, oh, I was hoping you wouldn't pick up. Please hang up. I'm going to call back and leave a Saturday or Sunday. John Hodgman called me at about 9 a.m. I picked up the phone. He went, oh, I was hoping you wouldn't pick up. Please hang up.

I'm going to call back and leave a voicemail. And yeah, no further explanation. Obviously, John's not welcome on the show. We're happy to play his voicemails anytime. Anytime, but he will not be on the show. And you can take that to the bank. Just like you can take Griffin's Lion King prediction to the bank. And you will be able to get out a Just like you can take Griffin's Lion King prediction to the bank.

And you will be able to get out a small business loan on the back of that prediction. Subprime business loan, more like. Okay, so how much time do we have left? Four hours? Let's start talking about. Ralph breaks the internet? Well, before we do. Oh, God.

Guys. It's weird how no one's listening at this point. No, I'm kidding. I have all these VHS tapes growing up and I don't know. You're so retro like Ralph. I, yeah, I'm fucking Ralph. You're eight and you need to be multi polygon.

Yeah. How, what am I going to do? I can't keep cutting these freaking VHS. There's two things. There's two things here. One VHS is they're big. They're pretty cool.

Well, yeah, they're cool, but they're bulky. Oh, large, heavy. They take up space. They rule, though. They do rule. They're cool. Two, you know, we don't all have video players in our homes anymore. That's another thing you got to look around.

The digital era has arrived. Ben, get yourself a legacy box. If you get a legacy box, you can turn those VHSs's could change like that your old photos okay you put something digital you put them in the box um you know film reels from the 70s yeah vhs tapes from your childhood anything with memories perhaps that are precious to you clunky physical media you got to go into the interwebs like ralph you go to legacy get in the cloud they send you a box a legacy box and the box is physical it's a nice tangible box you can hold you put the i'm an analog guy i like that you'll love the box it's quality box good card stock it is it's a very good very solid box you put the things you want digitized into the box they've got

good uh you know safety barcodes for every item. You're going to get everything you send back. It's not like they're going to take your tapes away from you. No, but it's just now you've got options. They give you personalized email updates to let you know how it's all going. 450,000 families have trusted Legacy Box to do this stuff. They've got a decade of experience.

It's all done right here in America, and they're going to turn this stuff into anything? DVD? Digital download? Thumb drive? What do you want? Here's the thing, dude. It's all done right here in America. And they're going to turn this stuff into anything. DVD, digital download, thumb drive. What do you want? Here's the thing, dude. Even if you're a physical media loving pack rat like me, right? I like to buy a Blu-ray, but I like to get that digital code inside.

So I know I got options. You know what I'm saying? Right. I got digital copy in the cloud and a physical copy. That's the thing with Legacy Box. They're returning this stuff back to you alright but can I trust the people that are handling this really like sensitive material the largest digitizer of home movies and photos

in the country I don't know why you'd ask that question why would you even ask that I just needed to know you can trust them with your life so there's never been a better time to digitally preserve your memories you can visit LegacyBox.com today to get started. And this time, for a limited time,

they're offering Blank Check listeners an exclusive discount. Go to LegacyBox.com slash check, and you're going to get 40% off your first order. 40 is big, actually. Ben, you like big things. That's a big discount. We rarely offer a discount that big. It makes the money smaller, but it is a big discount we rarely offer a discount that it makes the money

smaller yep but it is a big discount the discount's big the price you're paying is small that's good so if you go to legacybox.com slash check you'll save 40 today you can get started preserving your past legacybox.com slash check great so let's consult the mints again this episode's very much on track. Absolutely. Definitely did not see this episode being overstuffed and annoying, and it definitely hasn't been. Ralph breaks the internet. Ben takes a sip. Good.

So that has been our episode. Is that what happens? Are we done? Yeah. All right. So I already said I saw this at a press screen. We've talked about this movie somewhat, but Ben, I can confirm, just seems so happy've talked about this movie somewhat but Ben I can confirm

just seems so happy and relaxed watching this movie. Sitting next to me in the theater. You guys went to see it each other. Went to see it together

not each other. And we did see each other. I'm worried my brain broke. I am too. My brain broken. My ears are hurting. Where did you see it? Kips Bay.

We already said all this. I almost got hit by a car almost like an hour ago. I forgot it was Kips Bay. I forgot it was Kips Bay. We talked about all this. I almost got hit by a car. Hummel Bragg. That was like an hour ago. I forgot it was Kips Bay. I forgot it was Kips Bay. We talked about all of it. It was raining, as we know. I used my AMC A-plus Stubbs membership.

Hummel Bragg. Congratulations. Thank you. Ralph Breaks the Internet. Yeah. He did it. 112 minutes of fun. He does break the internet.

Yeah, it's pretty long. Pretty long. Pretty stuffed. No animated short to open it up. No short. Because the first one had the paper man, right? Yes, which won the Academy Award. Yeah, no, this had no short because the movie's a bit long.

No short because movie long. No short, just one longie. That's what you call the film, a longie. So here is the premise of Ralph Breaks the Internet. Or do you want to handle it, Ben? I'd like to hear what you call the film a longy so here is the premise of ralph breaks the internet or do you want to handle a bit i'd like to hear what you have to say david it's pretty complex it's a complicated plot so life it's i believe it's literally six years later right like they it's the same amount of time we've barely been apart for the last six years and the routine now is penelope's in her game kicking ass. Ralph's in his game kicking ass.

But they hang out all the time. Right. When the arcade closes, they go to Tapper's. They have fun. They go to Pac-Man. They pick up a burger. And Ralph loves this routine. There was a burger report in this movie.

Can I report? Go ahead. Vanellope eats a burger in like the opening five minutes. Thank you for that burger report. Vanellope von Schweetz. Yeah, no, it's like Ralph has settled into a very happy friend routine with his pal Vanellope.

Vanellope does seem a little restless right away. She thought, much like I feel like most of us do, God, if I could just get this one accomplishment in my career, if I could hit this one benchmark i'd be so happy i never had anything to complain about ever again she's been pushing against the door for so long finally the door is open but what's on the other side ah well it's

kind of the same stuff right and then you your ambitions continue to grow so ralph builds her a new track in sugar rush that's her complaint is she knows every track she knows every move she knows every power someone who would live in a video game. Right. Builds her a new track, but this causes a lot of consternation because when they try the new track, they break the steering wheel on the arcade cabinet, the players.

It turns out that that arcade cabinet's no longer in production. At this point, it's kind of 10 years old, and the guy's like, I can't really, and he looks for a spare part, but it costs hundreds of dollars on eBay, and the guy's like I can't really and he looks for a spare part but it costs hundreds of dollars on eBay and the Ed O'Neill arcade owner

is sort of a lovely man because it is funny that he's like a nice lovely man considering that any arcade I ever went to as a child was run by criminals I feel like he's very specifically riffing

on the nice old man from King of Kong yeah yeah yeah. Who wears the referee. Yeah, right, right. So. Criminals. So Sugar Rush might be.

Your local arcade was run by Killer Croft, right? That's why BET was playing on every TV. Thank you. I was going to finish that one, but I let you have it. Merry Christmas. What a fucking terrible movie. Can't wait for Birds of Prey, the liberation of... I think Birds of Trey is going to be good.

Trey? Birds of Trey. Yeah, that's my film I'm making about Trey Parker. I don't know! Spies in disguise. Bird, good. So the game's in trouble. Yes.

How are they going to fix Sugar Rush before it's going to get unplugged? It looks like the same conflict. Same premise, except this time it's Sugar Rush. Oh, now this game's going to get unplugged. Certainly it'll be solved in a similarly straightforward way. But here's one thing I like right away. What? No, Vanellope's not mad at Ralph for making the new thing.

No. You know, it's not one of those forced drama things where she's like, Ralph, you caused this trouble. She's like, whatever. It's annoying, but whatever. They're good friends. Friendship can solve anything. All the racers are displaced.

Yes, they're taken in by the Wreck-It Ralph families and stuff like that. Felix and Calhoun adopt 17 children. Now, this is my biggest disappointment in the film. I said this to Ben. I thought they were going to keep cutting back to them, and it was going to be a nice little subplot, little blackout sketch updates. Maybe that was planned initially, and there just wasn't time.

That film's long. Yeah. But I do miss getting Felix and Calh planned initially and there just wasn't time. That's almost long. Yeah. But I do miss getting Felix and Calhoun and I miss the Racers. There's just so much other stuff to do, I guess. I miss Rancid's Flugger Butter.

Did you notice Did you notice the Taft of Muttonfudge who of course was voiced by Mindy Kaling is now voiced by Melissa Villasenor. Melissa Villasenor.

Doing a Mindy Kaling impression. I know. She should be doing an Owen Wilson impression but whatever. Yeah. But what has the arcade also gotten, Ben? Doing a Mindy Kaling impression. I know. She should be doing an Owen Wilson impression, but whatever. Yeah. But, what has the arcade also gotten, Ben?

A Wi-Fi router. What? So now they can go into the internet, which they only vaguely understand, and... Because they're retro games. They don't understand. You're not human.

They can get into it. That's true. Right. So they go into the router through the plug and then it kind of becomes like Tron. They become digitized. I do like that they just get the Tron thing out of the way very early on. Because they're playing Tron. Like second 100 of the movie.

It's like here we are doing light cycles. We know this movie is very indebted to Tron. Moving on. So the world of the internet is sort of like this endless city filled with people. There are two kinds of people in the internet. There are programs, right, that live in the internet. And there are little avatar people.

Which are users. Right. And the programs are kind of trying to get their attention. And I do like, much like the real internet, when you first see it, you're like, wow, the possibilities. This seems so utopian. It's almost like a Logan's Run type society. And the closer you look, you're like, wow, this is actually really frightening. It's kind of like a Logan's Run type society and the closer you look you're like, wow, this is actually really frightening. It's kind of like a Logan's Run society.

That's why, I mean, Ready Player One is my comp. This is good Ready Player One. That's what Ben said the second the movie ended. Well, that's what I said the second the movie ended. You can ask the mother of blankies, Emily, and she did. I said it to her in the lobby. Well, that's a humble brag and also I got hit by a car, so please try to be considerate

this time. I'm sorry. We were really, like, Ben and I had gone through a lot by the time the movie ended. Such as you'd seen the Spies in Disguise trailer, you had almost been hit by a car, you had been hit by a car. I got tapped. I got love tapped. And so when Ben turned to me and said, this is good, ready, player one,

it meant a lot. You know what I'm saying? Like, I understand you saw the movie with Emily. That's cool. I wish I was there. Thanks for inviting me. But also, when Ben said it to me, it had a lot of emotional weight because of what we had gone through to get to that point. And then later,

Doug loves movies. You finished that, so to, four hours ago? I was hoping for, like, a little bit of it. The ice had melted or something. Yeah, okay.

Okay, I'm losing the boys. All right, let's get back on track. Okay. All right. So tired. So we're in the internet. The design of the internet's great, right? I like that at the top,

you have all the sleek stuff, but then of course down the bottom, you got the dark, dark web. Jordan Peterson's hanging out in dark alleys or a bunch of fedora shops. So Hater is playing the little ad guy, right? But he's not credited. What's up with that? What's his name? this character is great it's not slimy jp spamley spamley i love that he's and

he's like kind of throwbacky internet like he's got like a flat cap you know he's like the shoe shine that you go to for information a war film the joke is like there's this sort of like right forgotten internet that he is kind of a part of pop-up right the the annoying pop-ups which is sort of being like more and more discarded right and then you've got the the algorithm and the the youtube analog right which is like more like the new internet where everything is sort of carefully calibrated to attract the most viewers right but let but let's say the central obstacle here is they need to get enough money to buy... This scene is so funny.

The wheel on eBay. I think this scene is so funny. They go to physical eBay. They go to eBay, right. I do love that really drawn-out scene where Ralph puts it together by Felix going, Eee, boy! Right, right, right, right.

But they go to physical eBay, and Vanellope's like, I got this figured out, you just have to say a bigger number. Yes. But then they get so into impressing each other with how big the number is

that it ends up costing $27,000. Something like that. I just think that's insane. It was originally a $200 thing, right? I like that they're still children in a way. Yes. Like, right? Like, the inherent premise

of the movie is they need to raise so much money just because they're kind of silly. Vanelpy's kind of like a little rascal. Uh,

yeah. She feels like an hour gang comedy hit. right. Yeah. Right. And Ralph's just a big

goofball. Big galoot. So, they need to make money. Right. And they're like, how do we make money? If only there was a way to make money playing games they're like how do we make money

if only there was a way to make money playing games and they remember that they saw Spamley the pop-up bad guy who's kind of played like the dodgy

like gypsy cap guy at the airport right with a sign we get to the most important part of the movie most important

part of the movie Ben lost his gourd damn mind gourd is the best you see and part of the marriage. Ben lost his gourd damn mind. Gourd is the best. You see gourd?

Yeah, gourd's cool. He's got a turtleneck with big eyes. What? And his arms are weird. What more do you need, David? Because it's like,

it's down in the dark web. There's like the slug guy played by Alfred Molina. Of course. I immediately text DM to Jamie Loftus and said Alfred Molina got a slug quaddo this movie is so dense it is but Gord's arms

move like the old mobile game snake yeah they sort of pipe out at hard angles you only see his eyeballs the turtleneck's up high he's like Kilroy was here he's got kind of like a... You only see his eyeballs. The turtleneck's up high. He's like Kilroy was here. He's like half of a head and a nose. What's the joke with Gord?

It's just good. I agree. He's just good. I can't tell you what the joke is, but I can tell you it plays. In the... I play it in your theater. Oh, God.

You kidding me? Gord kills. Gord kills. I actually asked a projectionist to rewind our screening took six hours because he kept on making him replay the gourd scene ben lost his mind at gourd yep gourd's cool yeah um yeah he has nothing to do with the movie he's just kind of there. He does.

He hands them the thing. He hands them things. And he also, his cousin is shady. If you can get Shank's car, you'll have the money. He's like, because first he's like, right, because there's the bizarre true fact that these online games have their own internal commerce. You can actually make real money gathering virtual items.

You have, I don't know, what do you call them? Gunters who are searching through games looking for digital items they can flip for real money.

Artemis, we stand a legend. I don't know why I think it's funny to say we stand a legend, but it is. I don't either. And I'm so glad

that we have months of episodes booked up and what you keep saying that the time the episodes come out you will probably be irritated with your own bit. So, that bit fox what what say no legend fox oh thank you as a bit right yeah um and they're like we slap they're like we can't we can't make like three

bucks a pop here we need money fast so he's like all right we'll steal this big car from slaughter race right which is sort of like an online... I feel like this is right. This is the Grand Theft Auto Sims world they were trying to make a joke, even like dialed up even more with this kind of Mad Max flavor. Right, but that's also got this like online MMO kind of vibe

because you see the people playing in it. I like how they're animated, the weird player characters who aren't really coordinated. But it feels like it's a little bit like the Fortnite thing too where it's like just this never-ending campaign to try to collect as much shit. And I just

like that there's some video game satire. I do too. We're not completely dropping the video gaming stuff. Yeah. You have Gal Gadot. The great Gal Gadot. A coup for this movie in terms of social media influencing according to a deadline article I read. I hate those

deadline articles. Isn't it crazy, though? They're like, we don't know if this movie's going to perform because Tom Cruise isn't very active on social media. But then they do the opposite with no-name actors you haven't heard of. And it's like, but he does have the 5.6 million.

I don't know. Everything's bad. It's burnt down the industry. Let Ralph wreck it. No, no, no. The future is influencers. Well, this is the thing. It's like, Ralph should be allowed

to wreck the internet. He should. It's bad. It's a bad place. If Ralph broke the internet tomorrow, I think everyone would be like, eh, it's for the best. I kind of wish the movie ended with Ralph actually permanently breaking the internet. That'd be crazy, though.

It would be crazy. And then at the end of the movie, he looks the audience straight in the eye and goes, makes you think, huh? He points to his nod This is what I was worried the movie was going to be.

If Ralph broke the internet, right, and this little thing he got going, what the hell would you two do? What would we do? Are you going to go outside? God, that's a good point.

Shit. For two guys who hate the internet. Don't break the internet, Ralph. For two guys who hate the internet, we really haven't learned how to be good at things that aren a good point. Shit. For two guys who hate the internet. Don't break the internet, Ralph. For two guys who hate the internet, we really haven't learned how to be good at things that aren't the internet. Yep. All my eggs are in that basket.

The only place where I have any capital. Wow. So that doesn't work though Right they don't get the car They get close They get close and that's when Gal Gadot Goes like game recognize game You're a good racer

Great race sequence It's a really good race And I like that Vanellope Has this great She's a good racer And she gets like called out for being good by her hero, this badass lady named... What was her name? Slaughter?

Shank. Oh, Shank. Shank. I also like... My genuine life philosophy is weaponize your weaknesses. And this is what she's doing. She's become such a good racer because she uses the glitch thing to her advantage.

She doesn't try to hide it or overcome it. So what weaknesses are you recognizing? I mean, weaponizing. Dependency on the internet. Timothy Simons plays Butcher Boy. He's great. Who are the other? Ali Wong.

Ali Wong is in there. Yeah, the other one, Hamish Blake. I don't know he's Pyro who felt I thought Pyro would be Ben's breakout character and then Gord just stole the crown stomps everything but so that doesn't work out so instead Ralph decides to

pursue becoming a viral star he goes Shank sends him to Yes who is played by Academy Award nominee Taraji P. Henson who is success is played by academy award nominee taraji p henson correct who is who is like the the algorithm buzz tube yeah whatever it's youtube right uh and ralph starts making viral videos i also think that's funny it's good commentary yeah it's funny yeah they

have them do funny meme kind of stuff and i just like the idea that it's also crafted. Like, you know what I mean? It's not just random. It's more like she's like, no, this is how it works. These are the 25 things. Right. There are like wheels to this system. Right. You want to blitz it.

I also like the, I was at this moment going like, is this the moment the logic of the movie is totally going to break? How do they explain that like people in the real world are watching YouTube videos of a like independently thinking avatar from a video game. But that becomes part of the thing where it's like, oh, it's so random. People took this old video game character. Because that's the thing when you watch some weird meme, you're like, I don't, you don't know who made it. You're just like, where did this come from?

It's like all our base are belong to us or whatever. It's like, oh, someone took this weird like thing from our like pop culture memories. And put it on a goat. Right. And I don't know, like, I love the pop-up thing where like

when you like, you know, have an aggressive campaign, you're sending out these like armies of people who are just going around being like, click on this,

click on this, click on this. And the people are like, oh, okay, click. And the second they click, they're encased in a car

that takes them to the fucking video. But then the cut to like sam richardson in the cubicle going like huh right hey you should watch this is totally random it's good yeah it's good it's like it kind of gets at the whole sort of thing there's a there's a really good ted talk i watched yesterday about how weird this sort of youtube algorithms are especially in relation to children's youtube programming yeah because you know there are all these people where it's like there's certain types of kids' videos that perform really well on YouTube because parents are just like put on a playlist. But then people have figured out what those buzzwords are and try to create videos that will just end up circulated into those playlists. Right. But a lot of them are like, oh, it's like Elsa from Frozen gets pregnant.

And they're like weirdly dark, but they're not parodies. And no one can figure out if they're made by algorithms and robots or if they're actually made by people who are just craving and want the ad money. This is like where Baby Shark is and shit, right? Where it's like all this stuff gets like filtered a thousand times by algorithms.

I don't know. And you're like, is it algorithms replicating what people want or is it people replicating what algorithms say? It's kind of both. Yeah. It's all dark stuff this movie's making you think about. So the other thing he does

is he goes to the Disney personality, I mean, Vanellope, while he's doing this, Vanellope goes to the Disney personality quiz and meets all the Disney princesses. Right, originally, there's like Star Wars. When they started developing this movie,

Disney and Fendi, my favorite video game of all time, was still in existence, which was an online video game in which you had all the different Disney properties and that's how they were going to work these characters and we stand a legend.

We don't stand that legend. We stand that legend. So instead it doesn't matter. It's just she meets the Disney princesses and you all saw that fucking scene. It's like a good sketch. Yeah. Yeah it's fine. It's a good sketch. It's well written. Those are good gags. Yeah they're okay. They're good gags. I like that she introduces the idea of

being comfy to them. That I like. I like that she introduces the idea of being comfy to them. That I like. I like when they do the spinning Batman logo thing. Yeah. It's fun. I like the comfy shit. They'll look cool. I think it's good commentary, too.

It's good commentary. I was afraid they were going to hit it too hard. I thought it was good. I think they hit it a little too hard. I just think it's kind of weird. I like that they come back at the end. I thought it was clever the way they all use their powers together. I like when people use powers together. The kind of dudes

that get upset by that kind of shit, it makes me happy that they will hopefully see this or have some hot take on the internet about why it's offensive

to them. So that's what makes me excited about it. It's going to bum out men's rights, you fuckers. Yeah, like David. Both Frozen princesses are there.

Yeah, they're both princesses. Princess Anna, Princess Elsa. What are you talking about? they're both princesses. Princess Anna, Princess Elsa. What are you talking about? They're both princesses. Do you think Penelope counts as the first Jewish Disney princess, as Sarah Silverman says? 100%. I'm glad you agreed with me on that.

Now, they haven't made her officially part of the princess brand, and they haven't done the same with the Frozen girls, because Frozen is so big as its own marketing thing that they don't want to saturate the market with having them in two different brands, two different silos. Disney's really weird. The whole princess thing is a little weird. By the way, I'm now CEO of Disney.

Great. Can I have some money? There's an announcement on this episode. No, we're actually functioning at a loss. Did you see that yesterday? Ed Solomon was tweeting about the fact that he got his accounting report for Men in Black because he wrote the first Men in Black. And they're claiming the film is still losing

money every year. How could it be losing money now? Right, and he's like, of course, that's why you're currently filming a fourth one. Because the first one still hasn't made its money back. I don't understand. What do you mean? Hollywood accounting, they're always like, there's just no profits to give you. I'm sorry.

If you look at these balance sheets, we're broke. How could they do that? So here's what's crazy. Here's what's crazy. Draft Day, by all accounts, lost money. And I still make decent money off residuals because that movie didn't really make money.

So once it finally did crawl its way to profitability through selling to airlines and fucking iTunes rentals and all that stuff, they couldn't really pretend like there was too much money to go around. So the contracts that are written up where that movie,

everyone other than the top five actors got paid scale. So the agreement was that you have like deferred like royalties if the film ever made into profitability is fine.

But something like Men in Black makes so much fucking money that the studio stands to make a ton. What they do is all sorts of weird insider trading where like,

they did this with like the Harry Potter movies and Smoking Gun linked a bunch of these documents. And they were like, oh, we're sorry, Harry Potter 5 didn't make any money

because we spent $200 million advertising on billboards that were also owned by Warner Brothers. So Warner Brothers Studios, the film division.

Used its own, but it's like, because they're technically renting from another part of warner brothers it counts as can say the movie didn't make any money because we spent too much on advertising by the way the advertising also was us as its flaws yes can we say this yes maybe ralph will break capitalism in the third one i want the third one to just be like ralph breaks america like what if they like what if he got an atm yeah and ralph went into the very notion of of like wall street economics what if ralph became bitcoin and then tore down the capitalist society that we are all slaves to ralph coin ralph coin so ralph buys a virus. Why does he buy the virus? Oh, well, right.

Because Vanellope really likes Slaughter Race and wants to move to this game. Ralph is nervous. He's going to lose his friends. That's fun that the princesses tell her that she has to sing the song. She looks in the water. I'm fine with that.

That musical number written by Al Menken rules. Ben was losing his mind. Near gourd levels of euphoria. Ben turned to me and he was like i love this this is just my movie because he said you said at the moment you've been like texting you all day being like ralph's gonna wreck it i just know it we should see it in 3d we'll make the wrecking look better how was how was the 3d i thought it was good yeah it was good rob playing field said we shouldn't have seen it in 3d i thought it was good um but but uh you were saying like this is the kind

of world i want to live in like you, you related to Vanellope now. Oh, 100%. Singing about wanting to live in her grit grime world. That, to me, is so exciting to finally see, like, the kind of person I am on the screen, which is, like, a kind of dude that would be into, like, sort of a, like, terror, like, a shitty downtown burning LA. Right. With, like, you know,

scam artists and hobos. But the first movie, Ben is like, this is my origin story with Ralph. And the second movie, he was like,

this is me now with Vanellope. Right. Yeah. I'm trying to find my way in this modern crazy world. That's good. That's good that it had

a new arc for you, a new character that you could identify with. Yeah. I sympathize with Ralph. I get it. He's very insecure. I get the friend thing. He doesn't want things to change. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. You're afraid of change. I want

like a crew too. Like Pyro. Yeah, Pyro. Shank. Shank. I want a crew. Felony? I think Ali Wong's character is Felony, right? Uh, let's find out. Felony! Yeah. If anyone wants to be in my shady crew out there, tweet at me.

Yeah, I think you'll get a lot of requests. Someone just got a Hello Fennel tattoo. We should talk about that very briefly. Which is fucking cool. Crazy. Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. Yeah, so I think people will want to join your crew, seeing as how people are permanently

putting your words on their body. Ben's Fennel Gang? Ben's Fennel Gang. Remember when you were just trying to say, like, hello, fellas and gentlemen or something? It was something like that. I think it kind of went down if I had to redo it. It went into something I was like,

hey, Fennel. It was so fast. Yeah. You went like, hello, Fennel. Fuck. Yeah. I think we were vamping because Griffin was doing something. I can't even remember.

It doesn't matter. I don't know. Ralph. Yeah. I think we were vamping because like Griffin was doing... I can't even... It doesn't matter. I don't know. Ralph. So, he buys this virus. It replicates... I'm so tired. It feeds on insecurity and then you realize...

It replicates like... Right. The weakness in your system. So, first it replicates Van Alpy's glitch thing and it starts fucking up the game so they all have to get out. Right.

And Ralph realizes what's happening and admits to it right away. Which I love. Which I love. I just hate I'm so tired of movies where people lie to each other.

I hate the third act reveal. Right. Because she could just be thinking like it's my fault. I shouldn't have left my own game. I shouldn't be bringing my glitch around. He owns up to it. Yeah I did it.

I didn't expect this to happen. I'm sorry. She appropriately gets angry at him. But in order to free her from the game, because if she was stuck in there when the game shut down, she would have gotten trapped because she's a glitch. She's not of that world. In order to free her,

he also lets the virus out, and the virus starts attacking the internet at large. Well, yeah, but what it attacks is Ralph's own personal insecurity. It replicates it. And here is the thing. I had seen the movie before Ben. And Ben asked if he would like it. And I said, I think you'll like it.

And then I was sort of thinking, I was like, there's one thing you'll really like. Just based on the things that you like. Ralph. Big things. You like big things. You like Ralph. Could Ralph get bigger? bigger now here's what's especially good about what happens one the monster is big very huge who the monster is made of many

ralphs one might say a big amount of ralphs and ralph himself is big right so many ralphs a big amount makes big ralph a big big Ralph. But also each individual Ralph is relatively big. Big, big. Three bigs. Sure. A big amount of big Ralphs make a bigger Ralph. Did you like that thing? My fucking head exploded. It was fucking all the things.

So anyway, did you like that he was big? Yeah! Cool. Listen, more big stuff. Yeah, he gets all big. Yeah! Cool. Listen, more big stuff. Yeah, he gets all big. He's a big Ralph monster and all it wants

is to be friends with Vanellope. Yeah. I do feel like this is probably where the much hyped you can't believe it, it's going to break you

all the feels emotional ending of Toy Story 4 is probably going to be. Oh, really? My guess is that Toy Story 4 is moving towards. Oh, really? My guess is that Toy Story 4 is moving towards some permanent separation of Buzz and Woody,

and thus Woody from the rest of the toys, or what have you. That is my sense I got from all the reading I've done about this complicated fortress. Tom Hanks and T. Mallon have been doing these interviews where they're like, we just recorded the last scenes, and it's so emotional.

It's the show of Toy Stories. You can't deal with it. What if Toy Story 4 is nine hours long? Yes. Yeah, whatever. Toy Story 4, I just don't give a shit. Please show a little bit of respect. No.

Yeah. Woo, Wreck-It Ralph 2. Ben turned to me when the Toy Story 4 trailer happened. It also played, I assume. Yes, and he said, what happens if this movie's bad? And I said, Ben, I'm spending every hour of my day preparing for it. Right, you're like building a fortress. You're like buttressing every wall.

I'm like Michael Shannon in Take Shelter. Everyone around me is like, are you okay? And I'm like, this is necessary. I just need to be prepared. You've become a doomsday prepper yes you're so weird yeah

you and your toy story yeah no okay leave well enough alone you're right I just I like Forky I think Forky's cool

we're staying a legend in this house go on what you get touched by is the idea that they're like we're fine with this and we'll see each other every once in a while and that thing where ralph's like six months he'll go by like

nothing but it's a little sad and it's sort of about and because this this movie is so much about the the kind of like commerce behind everything in the internet and sort of behind everything you have to kind of do when you're growing up and i feel like that's kind of what it's about it's sort of like it's hard to find it's hard you can't really have that situation when you're a grown up. I feel like that's kind of what it's about. It's hard to find you can't really have that situation where you're getting everything you want. The job you want, the friends you want, the money you want. It's all in one place.

Sometimes you might have to give some of this up. I think about my father and he's got his five oldest friends and he still calls them up and has really long phone conversations. That's very nice. The five people he really doubled down on between his childhood friends and he still like calls them up and has really long phone conversations with them. That's very nice. You know and it's like the five people he really like doubled down on you know between his childhood friends and a couple of his

like long time. Some of his gambling buds. Right all of them. Shank, Pyro, Melanie. Want to restate that my father kicked gambling in the 80s. Yeah. Before that continues to be circulated on the internet as a current recurring problem. Not true.

But I feel like, look at you, for example. And this is a reason why I think a lot of the critical community is very emotionally affected by this movie. Sure, sure. Look at you. You're working in an office with Shirley Lee, and the two of you hit it off. And then you start getting your separate careers,

and you're both doing well and moving on to other things, but in the same city. And then she moves to LA, right? She has to fucking move to LA like a jerk. Right, and it sucks that she has to move to LA. You hear that, Shirley? Yeah. But also, you still got your Slack thread,

and that's what the internet is. At the end of the movie, Ralph and Van Alpy can still FaceTime. That's a fair point. And maybe they'll see each other twice a year. You know, and the other thing for me, and I have to bring this up. The same thing splits us apart,

keeps us in context. I back to america from england when i was 22 and i mean we need to cut something out of this episode because it's too long so here's an easy just flag it right now i had to leave three of my very best friends behind in doing so and you know one of them ended up moving to another country too and we've got our whatsapp you know group chats where we're talking to each other all the time and one of them has a kid now and you know it's like it's one of them's getting married blah blah blah and yeah we're you know you gotta it's hard but there's ways to stay in touch even if you can't have it all in the same place right but also i just get that i think that i was really worried this movie was going to be

like you say ralph turning to the camera and being like think about it the internet and you also don't want that shitty ending where like Vanellope's like no you're right I should stay in the game I've been in this whole time or whatever they find some fucking tunnel where it's like who cares we can see each other all the time

I just find it like I do feel like these children's films are moving towards like messy conclusions where they're like consequences. And it's like you can't have it all. And that's fine. Because make your choices in the arcade. There's a day and a night, you know, and at night they can sleep. Once you're online, 24 sevens, baby online never sleeps.

Yeah. So she's got to live there. Yeah, she's got to live there. there yeah she's got a little there and um the thing of ralph big ralph big monster ralph right it's just like a cute not too annoying way of making fun of kind of like male insecurity online rampaging and ruining things you know i think that's funny the comment section i thought they were going to go deeper into and then it was like oh right this movie's pg they can't spend too much time in the comments we can what the comments represent right that was truly i was like, oh, right, this movie's PG. They can't spend too much time in the comments. We can't define cock. That was truly, I was like, ooh, interesting nerve they've hit there.

And we immediately have to take our finger off of the nerve. It's really more just a don't read the comments joke is what you get. And I also think that having the princesses come back pays off. And I like that they sort of are the heroes that save the day at the end. And David, you and I have talked about what we love most in the superhero movies that we love is good team action.

When you have the power sets combining. The things that differentiate the good X-Men films from the bad X-Men films. The first Avengers we love so much. I think this is a similarly well-executed sequence. And I think it's nice

because you know the history of these princesses. They don't have to spend time setting up within the movie. At the end, it's very clever

the way they all combine their power sets. And you don't give them powers they wouldn't have had on their own, but now they're greater as a whole. They're greater combined

and the poison apple breaks the rope and they all can sew the clothes with Gus and Jack. Clever shit! And then Ralph wears a dress and it's nice that no one shames him sure i guess yeah you're right you're right he just wants to be comfy in his dress and it's cool and no one's making jokes about him being dressed in a disgusting woman's piece of clothing the way they used to i just could have done with more candlehead that's all i know you like candlehead

i like francis flugger butter and we're happy to announce that as the CEO of Disney They are in it for five seconds. Yeah. David and I are starting a new show for the Disney Plus streaming service called Candlehead and Fluggerbutter.

And also check out Oh weird. I'm being told it's been canceled. I know. Well that was a fun five seconds. I actually have a show to announce too.

It's called Ben and Gord Hangout. Yes. So that your show is kind of like the dio samaro like a vice land it's like a talk show with just you and gourd hanging out and our show david and i's show it's um it's like cagney and lacey but with candlehead and flugger butter anyway now it's 2018 so the closing credit song is uh imagine dragons right and well and we move lateral and they do that scene

from the trailer just as a mid-credits scene because they had nowhere to put it in the movie. Pancake Muffet. The bunnies. What do you think about the name Imagine Dragons?

I mean, it really makes you think. Yeah. Kind of makes you imagine, actually. Yeah. I don't like that it's a demand. I'm so tired.

No, no, no. Hold on. It feels like a boss name. It feels like the name of the band is yelling at me, which I don't like. it's a demand I'm so tired It feels like a boss name It feels like the name of the band is yelling at me Which I don't like It's sort of like a command So Box Office Gang, this did very well I'm going to get confused between the 5 day and the 3 day

Hold on, because this is an important episode Maybe I'll save my final thoughts I'm going to write a little thing while you do this You can definitely You can do it now No, I'm going to write a little thing while you do this. Okay, cool. You can definitely, okay, you can do it now. No, I'm going to write. So what, this did 86 for the five day?

Let me find the exact numbers because Box Office Mojo is being fussy. It did 84, I believe, for the five day Thanksgiving weekend. This has just become

a weekend at Disney-ons. I mean, Frozen launched here, Cocoa launched here, Tangled launched here. You had Creed 2 make 55. Biggest live action Thanksgiving ever. Very healthy debut.

And can I put it on the record here? Oh, this is your on the record? I had a eureka moment during- Wait, what was your crazy on the record you wanted to do? This is the one. Oh, okay. This is it. During my screening of Creed 2, and you're going to scoff at me, but I just want to say

this now because if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. And if I'm right, I look like a genius because no one else is saying this right now. I had a lightning bolt hit me during Creed 2 and you're going to scoff at me but I just want to say this now because if I'm wrong I'm wrong and if I'm right I look like a genius because no one else is saying this right now I had a lightning bolt hit me during Creed 2 watching it play to a rabid audience

right seeing the undeniable talent of Michael B. Jordan knowing this movie was running laps around the rest of the competition the adult competition

of the box office I think Michael B. Jordan is going to win best supporting actor this year for Black Panther. I think they're going to give him the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor. I think that's their way to both say, oh, we fucked up

not giving him a nomination for Creed. He's clearly a real deal movie star, and we have to give something legitimate to Black Panther because it's such a cultural moment. I think it's a fine on the record. I don't know where the winds are going to blow on Best Supporting Actor, but we'll see. That's why I'm saying, no one else is is making this claim so I want to pin this right now I think Michael B. Jordan is going to get

A sort of cumulative Black Panther The general acceptance of Michael B. Jordan And celebration of a new movie star You put it on the record Well I think Fantastic Beasts The Crimes of Grindelwald Is winning that category That's right

Fogler it's time We have to acknowledge the great work of mutton chop baker mcgee i don't know what his name is i almost pulled it i genuinely jacob wazowski it's something like that jacob something yeah um but the tough thing is they did just announce about Let's talk about Mr. S***. Yeah. You have to beep that out. They did just announce that they've decided to run Niffler as supporting because some people thought Niffler was going to be the lead. Niffler is pretty cool. Niffler is cool.

He fucking steals. Did you see it? No, I wouldn't. The Niffler is like a big part of the movie. I'm going to repeat the joke I made to you the other night. I would not see that movie at one point. Good joke. The Grinch has made 180. You've seen it

eight times. God. Bohemian Rhapsody has now made 152. Yeah. You got some other hits in there. So happy Bohemian Rhapsody is making that money. You've got Robin Hood which is one of the only movies I have ever walked out of. You walked out of it?

I walked out of it. For what reason? Well, I went to see it at a press screening. Humble Rick? And, you know, five to ten minutes in, I was sort of like, well, I'm not reviewing this. Because it was sort of coming out on Thanksgiving weekend anyways, like a hugely busy week with a bunch of movies I had to review, right? Right.

So pretty quickly, I'm getting the picture like, I don't like like this so i don't think it's gonna be worth reviewing you would already gotten your bias paycheck from disney to give ralph a good review so why right yeah and then like 15 minutes and i'm like wow this thing sucks you know what i mean i'm like oh i wasn't ready like i figured this was gonna be kind of like the king arthur thing where it's stupid but whatever but i'm like this isn't even fun like five hours with an intermission it's not that long and so i but i stuck it out for 90 minutes yeah and then as robin hood's getting ready to fucking you know kill the sheriff and nottingham or whatever you find out where he got the hood from yeah sure yeah i don't. I don't know. You'd think you do, honestly. You know, because the movie opens with like a scene set in the Crusades that's like shot

like the Hurt Locker. Like they're in like khakis and they're like shooting arrows like machine guns. It's fucking insane. Robin Hood's trying to figure out how to puncture a Capri Sun and can't get the straw through. Wish that was what it was. Yeah, when the movie was ramping up to the big final set piece, I was just like, I'm tired.

I'm not going to review this. I got to get out of here. And I left. I never do that. Final thoughts, Ben? Are you done typing? You've been writing a little. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Should I read it? David, do you want to read it? You want me to read it? Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Hold on. Let me make it bigger so, do you want to read it? You want me to read it? Yeah. Okay. Hold on. Hold on.

Let me make it bigger so you can actually. Can I do one last merchandise spotlight? It's very quick. Sure. Ben, they have manufactured the equivalent of Hulk hands for Wreck-It Ralph. They're big, blocky, foam Ralph fists that you can hit and they make smash and stuff. That's cool. Wow.

That's your other merch? Okay. All right. I'm going to get that. All right. So this is is a two and a half we're getting close to two and a half hours so we'll wrap it up here fucking christ well a lot of movie yeah and we didn't even touch forky we got time we got time we got 70 000 more episodes to record okay Okay. Let's final thoughts. Jesus Christ. Let's end this. Okay.

Anybody out there who wants to say anything of malice about any of these films are the beloved characters brackets that I love and brackets. I will give a death card. It is about good, nice friends. And another thing, did I mention that Ralph rules? He's big and smashes shit and lives in a dump. Cool.

Vanellope likes racing in a post-apocalyptic LA on fire. Super cool. Good movie. Fuck you. Anyone out there says otherwise. Great. You've been writing this for the whole episode episode i also want the listener at home to know that while david was reading that ben was every single word and he's just stirring he was

pointing and waving his fists around while silently mouthing his own manifesto i yelled anything that was in caps several words were in caps yeah so that were in caps. Yeah. So that's Ralph Breaks the Internet. That's the Wonderful Wreck-It Ralph movies. I think they're great. Yeah, they're good movies. I'm happy the two is good. Yeah. I feel like they probably do do a third one now.

I just don't know what it is. I mean, it's weird that Ralph's just become a vehicle for Rich Moore to be like, let me hold a mirror up to society, you know? Hopefully, I assume Moore will do something Zootopia 2. I don't know what he's fucking doing. Are they doing Zootopia 2? I don't know.

Now they're like sequel crazy. Now they want to do all these sequels. We'll see. It didn't win the New York Film Critics Circle animated feature that went to into

the Spider-Verse, which rules. I may be embargoed from saying that, but no, I think the review I'm told there's a detective Spider-Man. You're going a detective Spider-Man. Spider-Man Noir, voiced by Nicolas Cage.

He rules. It's very good. Wet? He's windy. Spider-Ham's a little moist. Spider-Ham is moist. Spider-Ham, he's a pig. Voiced by John Mulaney.

Okay, wow. You're going to like this movie a lot. There's a pig he's a pig Spider-Man voiced by John Mulaney okay wow yeah you're gonna like this movie a lot Ben just there's a Ben hole Ben shaped hole in the wall and there's like a puff of air

where Ben used to be sitting in the chair can we pitch a movie called Spider-Ben sure yeah Spider-Ben there you go

into the Benderverse yeah right into the Purdue reverse I want to see like the six different versions into the F-verse. I want to see the six different versions. Into the Fennel-verse. I want to see the six different versions of Ben that come out of a wormhole. Oh, God.

Ben, I just want to say one last thing on the record. We're going to end the show. David, sit down. Don't pee yet. Oh, Jesus. Because I want you to agree with this. Ben is going to lose his fucking mind when he sees the character design of kingpin in that movie god you're gonna love it you should take like a cbd bean or whatever it is people do

these days before you see this movie by the way you should drop like eight tons of acid right you should spray some meth mist into your eyeballs or whatever the kids are doing. Exactly. This movie is an ecstasy enema or whatever. If Kingpin is as big in my mind as I want him to be. It's crazy. Ain't small. That's all I'll say. Not little.

Not a little guy in this one. No, no, no. no larger than the average man so huge he's pretty big yeah yes thank you all for listening

oh wait no Ben you have to end the episode oh thank you all for listening um thank you to Ange Fergudo for our social media David sit down

the episode isn't over yet thank you to Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Correct. Thank you to Joe Bowen and Pat Reynolds for our artwork.

Go on reddit. Blankies.reddit.com for some real really nerdy shit. And hey, feel free to weigh in on Reddit if you want to join

Ben's dystopian gang and also if you have an idea for what the stakes of the Lion King bet should be feel free to do it on Twitter and Reddit Reddit or Twitter go to TeePublic because if you've

still listened to the end of the episode it's beginning to look a lot like merch miss that's right some new holiday season designs that are not holiday themed at all but capitalizing on the fact that people buy things this time of year. Yeah, so we got

at least three new designs. No Bits Pro Schmitz. A solo fennel shirt. Yes. A two friends shirt that's a really fun design. It's gonna look great. New stuff. All new stuff, so check it out. And that should be available now. Get a throw pillow get a

water bottle all the stuff i don't know there's stuff there's stuff so check that out um we're going hard in 2019 219 is gonna be fucking hard oh it's gonna be a big ass year for bc baby yeah i guess that's it. Oh, and as always, death cards for anyone. Anyone tries to talk shit about my beloved Ralph. We stand a legend in this house. Think about other movies that don't have big stuff

in it. Add a big thing to it now. Better. Downsizing. Well, that's a whole other... That's a movie I like well that's a whole other that's a movie i like that's a whole other i will say i do kind of shrunk the kid i do feel no ben likes honey i blew up a kid