Blank Check with Griffin & David - Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Episode Date: December 17, 2016

On the day of it’s release in December of 2016, Griffin and David discussed the highly anticipated spinoff Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Together they examine the new planets, Darth Vader’s milk bath, Peter Cushing’s return and why Star Wars films require great jackets.

A rebellion. Built on podcasting. Yes, instead of hope. Yes. Yes, indeed. Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin Newman. I'm David Sims. This is a podcast called Blank Check with Griffin and David. We are hashtag the two friends.

And this is a podcast where we look at filmographies of directors who have massive success early on and then are given a series of blank checks to make whatever they want. That's what this podcast is about now. It's about how sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce, baby. But this podcast, a long time ago. We should have called this podcast Griffin and David present rogue podcast just to be old school about it. We can still do that if we want.

You know, let's more just, we're just shouting that out, just for the diehard. A long time ago, in a podcasting network far, far away, this podcast used to be called Griffin David Present. Yeah. What a scintillating title it was. And it was great. I think we almost kept that title. Yeah.

Remember when people were angry when we said we were going to blank check? Idiot. And they're going to be angry again when we change our name in the new year to Planet Money. But we want that money. We want that money. From Planet Pizza. This podcast used to be about

the Star Wars movies. Exclusively. Yeah, 100%. Let's get rid of judging the judges. used to be about the Star Wars movies. Exclusively. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Except for judging the judge. Except for judging the judge. And we have promised

on this show that whenever a previous subject Yeah, pops back up. We gotta cover it. We gotta jump back into the pool. And this is exciting

because all the Star Wars stuff was contained within one year for us. That's right. 2015. 2015 was our year of Star Wars. That's right. And now this is the... And 2016 was the year of not Star Wars. Right.

But now a new Star Wars picture in theaters just in time for Christmas. Yeah. The present under the tree as it will be every year from here on out. Most likely. Right? Yes. Right? Yes. Right? Yeah. They're still saying Han Solo's coming out in the summer. We'll see. Are they really? Yes. May. They have it chalked in for

May 2018. May 18? Yeah. Maybe there'll be two Star Wars movies that year? That'd be crazy. Yeah. Anyway, this I guess podcast is us going to be wrestling with... The biggest sci-fi movie of the year. Yes.

Passengers. Uh-huh. Well, here's one good thing. We've been recording so far in advance that we can also talk about some other current movie stuff. Well, me and Griffin saw the number one hottest, number one sci-fi, number one sci-fi movie, number one sci-fi. I just want to say it over and over again. Movie of the year. Passengers together.

And then the next day we also took a gander at Rogue One together. We took a gander together. And, yeah. I was going to say, this is us. I mean, you know. This is us. NBC's hit new series. Congrats, Chrissy Metz, on your Golden Globe nomination.

See, we can do all these topical jokes now. People love them. People love SAG nomination jokes. Topical jokes, like just acknowledging that Chrissy Metz got a Golden Globe nomination. See, we can do all these topical jokes. People love them. People love SAG nomination jokes. Topical jokes, like just acknowledging that Chrissy Metz got a Golden Globe nomination. It's very cold outside. My brain is frozen. No, what I was going to say was, when we

were tackling Star Wars on this podcast, it was a very finite thing. Uh-huh. Right? Star Wars existed within these very strict confines. Right. The chapters, the extended universe shit was its own corner. Uh-huh. Right? Star Wars existed within these very strict confines. Right. The chapters, the extended universe shit

was its own corner. Oh, sure. You know? And then even like the supplemental material that was considered canon at that point was like a small selection

of books, cartoon shows, what have you. Understood. And this is the first time that we're like getting main canon Star Wars movies

that aren't within, you know, that. The episodes. The episodes. Which is how we've defined what real Star Wars is. I mean, of course, there always will be Star Wars, The Clone Wars, the movie. Right. To fuck with that. Yes.

But essentially you are correct. Right. And I think this is like an interesting turning point because now like Star Wars has become a much broader thing. The walls have been broken down. And this movie I think is primarily concerned with doing that. Yeah, well, it's sort of like,

it's like you say, like you have like this sort of shelf of books and someone's got this new book and they're trying to kind of wedge it in. But the shelf is already kind of tight so you're sort of like,

and you're kind of maybe going to break the shelf. Right, that's what it's like. But they're trying of like, and you're kind of maybe going to break the shelf. Right. That's what it's like. But they're trying to, I guess, maybe convince us to buy new shelves. Yeah. Well, once it's in there, you're like, it's there. See?

It's always been there. But then I think Kathleen Kennedy's main goal is to be like, buy some new shelves because you're going to need to put a lot more books in. Yes. That and to stop any woman from ever making a Star Wars movie. I'm just kidding, Kathleen. Within this metaphor, I would say almost, we've had a very tight shelf of what was Star Wars. Yeah.

Now we fit this one book in. It's a shelf metaphor. Let's really go for it. I like it, right? George Lucas built a mahogany shelf. We fit this one book in. Yeah.

And then, she's like, but there are going to be more. You should probably buy new shelves. So now it's like, here's my shelf for the episodes. Here's my shelf for the other Star Wars stuff.

It's kind of like how you have your DVDs arranged and then you get a new shelves. So now it's like, here's my shelf for the episodes, here's my shelf for the other Star Wars stuff. It's kind of like how you have your DVDs arranged and then you get a new DVD and the new DVD is like a weird shape. Yes, yes. Maybe it's got like a border or like, I don't know, there's something wrong with it. Right, and you're like, let me buy a new shelf for DVDs

with weird packaging shapes. All right, so we're done. All my main DVDs, we're done. Great. The movie we're talking about here is Rogue One. Passenger. It is the first, and I guess what Disney hopes will be a franchise of rogue movies. It is, to its credit, decisively not.

Which I give that movie a lot of credit for that. It's not like that. Yeah. Well, by the way, spoilers. Oh, yeah. If you haven't seen Rogue One. Yeah. I mean, we're recording this on the day the movie comes out.

And our listeners, we assume. This will post the weekend after it's come out. We assume a lot of you probably. You're a blankie. You're seeing Rogue One opening weekend. Most likely. If you can't for whatever reason, don't listen. We're going to talk about what happens in Rogue One.

Everyone dies at the end of the movie. Okay. So let's talk about. Not Darth Vader. He's fine. Darth Vader's alive. Yeah. Let's talk about what happens in Rogue One. Everyone dies at the end of the movie. Okay, so let's talk about... Not Darth Vader. He's fine. Darth Vader's alive. Yeah. Let's talk about Rogue One. And to join us and talk about Rogue One is...

Rogue One's biggest fan. Confirmed. Really loved it. Really, really loved it. It was a good movie. Producer Ben, a.k.a. the Ben Ducer, a.k.a. the Poet Laureate, a.k.a. the Tiebreaker, a.k.a. the Fuckmaster, a.k.a. Birthday Benny, a.k.a. our finest film critic, a.k.a. the Peeper, a.k.a. the Fart Detective, a.k.a. Dirt Bike Benny.

Thank you for being here. Meeting a warhead. Thank you for producing the podcast. Yeah, of course. It's sour. It's sour? I know that's the podcast. Yeah, of course. It's sour. It's sour? I know that's the idea. We'd love to quickly acknowledge

that you've graduated to certain titles over the course of different miniseries such as Kylo Ben, producer Ben Kenobi, Ben Say, Ben Night Shyamalan,

Say Bennything, and Ailey Benz with a dollar sign for the ass. Yes, of course. You loved Rogue One. The three of us saw it together.

I had already seen it, not to brag. I'm bragging. Yeah, I'm bragging. We saw it at the Alamo Draft House. Ben and I dined in on delicious flatbreads, sat together. I got some sliders, personally.

You got some sliders. Joanna, your girlfriend, was there with us as well. Yeah, she got some sort of a bean dish, beans and potatoes. Interesting. It was on the special Star Wars menu. She said that it was bad. Oh, interesting. My sliders were okay. And you got the special Star Wars menu She said that it was bad Oh interesting My sliders were okay And you got the special Star Wars sliders too

They were like tropical themed They were trying to go off the It was going all beachy What's the planet called Scarif Scarif Yeah I got a meat lovers pizza You got the M train baby

Hell yeah Would you call yourself a meat lover Yeah I would Should we call Ben the meat lover from now on Yeah let's call him the meat lover What if we replaced all the previous nicknames And just called him the meat lover? Yeah. I would. Should we call Ben the meat lover from now on? Yeah, let's call him the meat lover. What if we replaced all the previous nicknames and just called him the meat lover? In 2017 it's like,

and there's producer Ben, aka the meat lover! Maybe we should do that. Don't say anything else. That might be funny. That might be funny. We're too far ahead with all the other episodes. Oh, that's true. We've ruined our bit. You're foiled. What if we invent a time machine and we just intervene in the recording of every episode?

Oh, no. I thought you were going to ask that I just insert the meat lover into all this stuff we've recorded already. Okay. It would be pretty funny if you did that because it would be like, and now it's time for producer Ben. Okay. And then like a slight pause and we're like, meat lover. In unison. Okay.

Wait, Ben, can we get, can we quickly, David, you and I, let's say meat lover in unison, and Ben, drop it into at least one episode. The meat lover. All right, I will do that. Ready? One, two, three. The meat lover! That's good.

Ooh, actually, could I, could we just do it one more time? Yeah, we're a little hot on that one? Yeah, a little hot. Griffin, just back off just slightly. Alright. Here we go. Three, two, one. The Meat Lover! I was very muted.

It was great. They were really good. Our Turok episode, which came out pretty recently, but we shot, recorded it September 11th, I forget. There was the bit about Ben sniffing out the fart and then called him the fart detective and then people on like Reddit and Twitter were like,

please make that a permanent nickname. But it was like, well, we recorded that in September. I forgot we made that joke. Sure. Then four months passed. You've included it in a couple episodes. Since then. Yeah.

But there's like a whole run of like the first five Spielberg episodes. I don't call them that because I forgot that we had come up with that. Guys, look, this is for you to piece together and we're leaving you in a fractured time mind to put, you know, to knit into a tapestry. Yeah, so get out your red yarn and your index cards and, you know, start tracing it. Exactly. Not this episode. This episode is recorded in the present.

People are going to hear it primarily in the week it was Exactly. Not this episode. This episode is recorded in the present. People are going to hear it primarily in the week it was released. So this is a chance to speak. It's like the old days when we would just arrive here and we'd be like, the fuck are we going to talk about this week? We have to have an episode. How about the politics of Star Wars Episode 2?

Never forget that mistake. Okay, so let's talk about Rogue One. You had seen it before. Ben and I had not. I started the press screening. I got in this year. Yeah. Because of my extreme celebrity.

Congratulations. And the press screening was pretty wild. It was fun. Colin Jost was there, and I made eye contact with him, and I felt really bad because I'm mean about him online sometimes. How is he looking in person? He looks, I mean, I've seen Colin Joseph in person several times. He looks exactly the same

as he does on TV. Like, he's kind of got that kind of can of hairspray, like, old school newspaper guy, newspaper anchor. News anchor? Newspaper anchor? Yeah.

You know, he looks like, you know, he looks a little fakey almost, like he's, you know, kind of blandly handsome. Two points I want to make. One, newspaper anchor, when paper boys would throw the newspaper, would attach a weight to it so it would land on your doorstep. Newspaper anchor, that's a real thing.

Okay, fine, but that would mean that he looked like an inanimate object, right? Like some sort of a brick. Two, I saw him on the subway recently and his hair looked weirdly flat, which is why I asked. Well, I mean, maybe he'd made an effort for the premiere. Maybe, yeah. Number three, newspaper anchor is not a real thing. I made that up.

Ah, shit. You're right. So Ben loved the movie. Yeah. I mean, I don't understand what's not to love. Ben, you and I have seen a handful of movies together at this point in theaters, but also have watched a lot of movies together and talked about them just over the course of this podcast. Sure, but it's only occasionally that you will watch it in person.

I'm sitting next to Ben in a theater. Right, right, right. I've certainly never seen Ben react like something. Like this. I was sitting, Joanna was in between me and Ben. Yeah. But I even, even I, from that vantage point, saw Ben kind of pumping his fist and kind of leading forward and going like, yeah, and stuff like that.

Yeah, and you were like gasping a lot, Ben. There were a lot of moments where you were like, oh. Now, I want to say, what I wanted to say was my press screening was very vocal, very loud, cheering a lot, big reactions. And the Alamo screening, possibly because the Alamo is very kind of militant about the hate. No talking. No texting. Like, shh. It was very quiet.

Very quiet screening. Deadly silent. I mean, very few jokes even got loud. And there were still some people with lightsabers and wearing Jedi robes. Yeah, there was someone in full Rey cosplay. Oh, we need to talk about this. Before the movie started, they did a contest for Rogue One giveaways. They did.

And they were like- My friend Mike Sampson. My online friend Mike Sampson. Right. And they were like, does someone want to come up and embarrass themselves in front of their friends? And my hand shot up like a rocket. Oh, God, you were. Because, I mean, what am I known for?

You were like a kindergartner who had to pee. If not, wanting to embarrass myself in front of my friends. Right. And we were, like, all the way in the back, second to last row. And not a super huge screen. No, it's the biggest screen they've got, but, you know. Second to last row, and he, like, picked two people. Okay, you with the lightsaber.

Okay, easy pick. Give me. Then he picked a woman in the first three rows. And I was like, okay. And then he's like two people okay you with the lightsaber okay easy pick gimme then he picked a woman in the first three rows and i was like okay and then he's like what about someone from the back i always feel bad for the back because they never get picked and i'm like this is my moment this is my moment this is my moment and then he picked someone from dead in the middle yeah this middling asshole and he won i believe and he won he was good he was pretty good but then they said like i was like god damn it he gets up and he's like, okay, here's the contest. Each of you has a Star Wars quote.

You have to read the Star Wars quote and perform it the best. And I was like, Jesus Christ, who would have fucking won this thing? Yeah. And then it ended up just being like they got like a poster and the grand prize winner got like a T-shirt that just had the logo on it. What did you think they were going to get? Like dinner with Mads Mikkelsen? Yeah. Dinner with Mads.

I thought they were going to get dinner with Mads. I am making a movie next year called My Dinner with Mads Mikkelsen? Yeah. Dinner with Mads. I thought they were going to get Dinner with Mads. I am making a movie next year called My Dinner with Mads. You should tell the listeners what you would have done if you had been picked. So I said to Ben, because he was handing them each the cards. He had random cards, and they picked. They didn't know what they were going to get. And I said, Jesus Christ, if one of them gets Watto, I'm going to go fucking ballistic in this theater. It would have been a little weird if one of the three quotes was Watto.

And then it was like the three most obvious quotes. It was three very obvious quotes. It was Darth Vader saying no at the end of Sith. It was a fucking scruffy nerf herder. And it's a trap. And it's a nerf herder. Which I would have killed. It's a trap.

Sure. You want to go ahead? It's a trap! That was something. It's a trap! All right something. It's a trap! All right. Okay. So the podcast is over.

The podcast is done. And that's it? Yeah. But then they each did their thing, and I turned to Ben and I went, you know what? If I had gotten picked, I would have just done water regardless of what card they gave. Okay. So then the movie starts. Then the movie starts. Then the movie starts.

And then it finishes. I just want to talk about our responses first, then we'll go through the plot of the film. And in between, nothing happened except that we were served food and drinks. Right. And the movie was playing. But deadly silent.

Yeah, it was a pretty quiet audience. Ben was really... Some claps at the end. Visibly into it. Claps at the end. People like the ending a lot. Because the ending's really good. Yeah.

I felt very whelmed by the movie. he was pretty whelmed guys i was actually a little surprised i was just kind of like that's fine so i had already seen the movie yeah and liked it a lot but the first time you see these things i felt the same way with episode seven you know you're just kind of you know trying to take everything in you're trying to pay attention in. You're trying to pay attention. You're trying to temper your enthusiasm in a weird sort of way because you're like, I don't know what the fuck's going to happen. I always try to not think ahead of the movie too much because I worry that I'll sort of get in my own head a little bit

where I'm like, oh, are they going to do this now? Where are we going with this? Yeah. So I always find the first viewing with these really big movies, I just got to see it again. I have a bit of that too, and I know I certainly have a thing with the Pixar movies because they're what I watch when I can't fall asleep at night because my brain doesn't work. It's very hard for me to see a Pixar movie for the first time.

Be it good or bad. Right. Okay. Because it's like, you know. That's your Christmas. Well, like fucking like Incredibles I've seen 80 times. Me too. So I know every single like micro movement in it.

Me too. Where then to watch Inside Out for the first time when people were like, how do you think it ranks? I was like, I don't even know yet. I think it's great, but I need to. So you need a couple times. Right. But what about when you see like, what's a bad Pixar movie?

A bad one? I mean, Cars 2 I've only seen once because I'm just like, I fucking get it. It's bad. Sure. Good Dinosaur I've only seen once.'s a bad Pixar movie? A bad one? I mean Cars 2 I've only seen once because I'm just like I fucking get it. It's bad. Sure. Good Dinosaur I've only seen once. Oh God. You know?

I think I watched that I watched it about half. Yeah. I mean I was there for the whole movie but So I'll grant it that but here were my stumbling blocks

with the movie. Okay? Ben when you were very surprised that I didn't like it more. Ben. Yeah I mean I was mildly surprised. I think Ben was quite surprised.

Yes. I just, like, delivered on, you know, action and not being clunky and being interesting in the Star Wars world. Well, and there's something you said, like, right when I, because the movie ended, David, you went, what do you think? And like shook my hand i did it like kind of half half thing right and ben you were like shocked and then the thing you said immediately in defense of the movie was like it's got one objective and they just do it yes yes you like that it was a pretty focused story about a focused mission but also that's something that I've complained about a lot,

certainly with the Phantom Menace trilogy, that it's like you don't know what the fuck's going on. And when I complain about big blockbuster movies that are overloaded, it's like I don't know what they're trying to do. And also, of course, these franchise movies these days that have to be about lots of things because they have to lead all these threads dangling.

Right. It didn't get caught up in its own mythology. I agree 100%. And I respect that about the film immensely, that it is like the good guys and the bad guys both have essentially the same objective, right? It's centered around one thing. Right. And whatever's going on on a scene-by-scene basis in the movie, you know it's working to that end. It's very easy to chart it.

My two big stumbling blocks with this movie are the objectives are very clear. I think it's pretty well plotted. I don't think it has a story. I disagree. I don't think there's really a story to this movie. I think there's an objective.

I don't think there's a story because I don't think any one character in this film actually has an arc, an emotional arc. Yeah, I think this is a movie where the emotional arc is in the Rebel Alliance, not in the characters as much.

And it's more about links in a chain. Sure. And that's what I liked about it. Now, this gets into me not throwing out an objective opinion about the movie, but just a subjective response. Sure. Which is, I mostly... You mostly have an objective opinion, right?

Right. I'm not trying to argue that the movie doesn't work because of this. Yeah. I'm just talking in my own experience, I tend to relate to things through opinion. Right. I'm not trying to argue that the movie doesn't work because of this. Yeah. I'm just talking in my own experience. I tend to relate to things through character. Sure. And we've recorded a Saving Private Ryan episode. There's got to be stuff.

Let me just say my little thing here before we go through. No, no. Yeah, I know what you're saying. And again, you should say it. Because people haven't heard the Saving Private Ryan episode even though we recorded it a while back. But I talk a lot in the Saving Private Ryan episode about how I have a lot of trouble getting into war movies because war movies are more objective based and it tends to be an ensemble of characters who are thinly sketched because there's not really room for, if you're realistically depicting war, it's such a tense, fast situation, it's hard to have real character moments.

Right. You couldn't have 10 minutes of, you know, I don't know, whatever, Baze Malbus where it's like, you know, here's what his deal really is. And it's also, of course, war movies are about a country or a group right like they're about the objectives of some sort of a larger you know the allies the axis what you know like some sort of a larger body of people right i i think as all listeners of this show will know tend to be a pretty uh obsessive detail focused person yeah and i have a hard time dealing with things in the macro kind of. I need to deal with things on a micro level

which is why I think I engage with characters so much because if I can follow what's going in the story through an emotional through line then I have an easy connection. I get you. More of a comic book thing.

Yeah. Or I mean I know you like always true in a comic book. Like you know there's always very big bold characters for you to you know know, lasso. Which is why I like, like, primal fucking pop storytelling.

Yeah. But, and, you know, the Star Wars movies always have, even when they're bad, like, the prequels are very much character-based movies. They're bad arcs and they're poorly, you know, rendered characters. Right. But they are, like, character stories versus form. They are. This is the first Star Wars movie I've seen that, like, isn't really character- characters. Right. But they are like character stories versus form. They are. This is the first Star Wars movie I've seen that like isn't really character based.

No, and it only has, and it's only really interested in one character arc and I would say it's only mildly interested in it. And which one do you think that is? I mean, Jyn. It's the only one where they're even bothering to provide a lot of context. See, I think Galen's the one who comes closest

to having an arc in this movie. Well, you mean... Mads. You mean... Which is why I wanted to get into. See, I think Galen's the one who comes closest to having an arc in this movie. You mean... Which is why I wanted to get into it. Galen. Galen. Galen Erso. I was like looking at the cast list and I'm like, Galen?

Who the hell is Galen? I said Galen. You said Galen. I don't pronounce things well. Galen's got kind of an interesting arc, but I mean, not a... And a lot of it happens off screen in between scenes and stuff like that. Can I argue

the whole point? I thought two performances and I think two kind of characters that maybe it wasn't a huge arc, but it felt like there was something there was the blind character, Chura Yeah. And his good friend, Baze. Baze Malbus. Those

were my two favorite characters. I will agree with you on that. And like good friend, Baze. Baze Malbus. Those were my two favorite characters. I will agree with you on that. And like, you know, again, they maybe didn't have enough time to really explore, but it still felt like you sort of saw the relationship and saw sort of where it went. I thought Bodhi had a nice little arc. I like all the characters, but I am more into this as like a Dirty Dozen movie. Like, that's why I like it. I mean, that's one reason I like it I like it for a lot

of reasons yeah yeah yeah I mean I think the film and we should just start getting into the plot but I just want to set out my like reservations with it which once again are not judgments of the movie as thoroughly as they are maybe like we should actually too before we talk about the plot yeah

guys no no bits okay oh yeah no that's very important. Yeah. We've always been a no-bits podcast. This is going to be a very serious academic dissection

of a new Star Wars movie that just came out. The first Rogue One movie. Yeah. Sure. I have no idea what you guys are talking about. Pro smits.

Pro smits. Oh. We're all pro smits. No spoilers. Okay. So you already... Okay. That's a bit. You just did a damn bit. No bits. No spoilers. Okay. So you already... That's a bit.

You just did a damn bit. No bits. No bits. I'm not doing any bits. David, we're not... David, what the fuck are you talking about? God, remember the old days? Yeah. Remember the fucking old days?

Oh, God. How great it would be to relive those old days through four best of episodes coming up after this. Anyway. Okay. So the movie starts... The beginning, I was actually pretty hooked. The beginning was kind of functioning on the level that I wanted out of this.

You know? Starts with young Janurso on her home planet of. I can look it up. It's got an apostrophe in it. Okay. And no crawl either. No crawl, which I thought was cool. We have the long time ago in a galaxy far, far away,

which I assume is now going to be the standard. That's the thing that's being held onto. Unless the film doesn't take place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. You think they'll make one of the spin-offs that takes place in New York City in 2005? Nebraska. It's possible.

What if they made one of the Star Wars stories about us doing this podcast? Yeah, that'd be really good. Who do you think would play us? Not this episode, but like- The whole podcast. The Griffin and David present, and then the saga of that turning into Blank Check. Who would play us? I mean, God.

Dumb- I mean, Johnny Galecki probably plays me right he's pretty old yeah fucking hey read the comments see how many people think that johnny galecki played arthur in the tech oh really that's actually crazy people are people are pretty unobservant yeah i want dexter jetster to play me okay dexter Dexter Jetster. You want him to play you. Johnny Galecki. You want it to say in the credits, Ben Hosley played by Dexter Jetster. And Dexter Jetster as... Ben would get the and, and then who would play you?

I don't know. But you're the one who posed the thing. You don't have a... Brendan Fraser. Okay, that's a good one. That is a good one. Yeah, sure. I think Brendan Fraser would play you well. Yeah, I think he'd do a good job. Okay, so Brendan Fraser's probably first build, Johnny. I think Brendan Fraser would play you well. Yeah, I think he'd do a good job.

Okay, so Brendan Fraser's probably first bill, Johnny Galecki and Dexter Jetser as... And Dexter Jetser as Ben Halsley. Producer Ben Halsley, aka the Bendis. They would need to crawl for my nickname. All right, so she's on some planet. I can't find the name. We're ahead of Wikipedia

for the first time in this podcast history. Yeah, she is. And Orson Krennic, played by Ben Mendelsohn and Ben Mendelsohn's Big Ears. One of my favorite living actors. He's great. Now, what do you love Ben Mendelsohn in? Everything he's been in. Right.

I think he's... He really is an excellent actor. He's a really excellent actor. I mean, whatchamacallit, Animal Kingdom was the one where I was just like, Jesus Christ, what the fuck is this guy? He'd been around in Australia for years already. He started acting when he was like 18. He was in stuff as a teenager. But that really launched him, and then he's obviously

amazing in Mississippi Grind. He's great in Slow West. Place Beyond the Pines, I thought he was really excellent in. What else is he in? Let's see. And obviously he's in TV shows like Killing Them Softly. He's really good in the Andy Dominick movie. Yes, I've never watched Bloodline, but I know.

Which everyone's got to get rid of Danny. Yeah. What's up with Danny? He won the Emmy for that? He did win an Emmy. Yeah. Somewhat ridiculously for the second season in which, I'm sorry guys, Bloodline spoilers, he is dead.

And a ghost. Oh, interesting. Anyway. But he right now, he's a bit of a flavor of the month for Hollywood and that is not to dismiss Ben Mendelsohn's overall quality. It's just like suddenly he starts getting cast in tons of projects. He's almost going through a

Alan Rickman post Die Hard thing where it's like, let's plug this guy into the system. Exactly. Or maybe a Gary Oldman back in his breakout years. That thing where it's like, here's a nice textured character actor. Oh, look at this guy's face, here's a nice, green or textured character actor. Oh, look at this guy's face. I just want to put it in something.

Right. Because he's going to be in Ready Player One, right? Yes. And he just got announced he's going to be the sheriff of Nottingham in the new Robin Hood. So he really is like the new Alan Rayman. I was actually a little annoyed when I saw that because that felt too obvious. I had a good tweet about it. That's a waste of like six months of Ben Mendelsohn when he could be doing other stuff.

He should be playing a jolly mailman in something good tweet about it. That's a waste of like six months of Ben Mendelsohn when he could be doing other stuff. I said he should be playing a jolly mailman in something. Yeah. Yeah. That was my joke. I'd be more excited to see Ben Mendelsohn playing like Little John or something. You know? Yeah.

No. I'd like to see him be funny. Yeah. Because he has one very- Yes. Yes. Little John. Little John.

Yeah. That'd be very unproblematic and no one would object. He's going to be in Darkest Hour, the Joe Wright movie about Winston Churchill. He's going to play George VI. That's a movie that's coming up next year. I was looking at movies that are coming out next year and I was like, holy shit, right, we do this again. Oh, yeah. Every year.

Got to go around the horn again. More movies. Ben Mendelsohn is mostly known for being a kind of twitchy, sweaty. Villain. Yes. But kind of uh gross you know oh i see okay sure he's got a kind of live wire energy but he he goes into he's very uh unvain yeah there's a better word for that i'm sure no but you're right but he doesn't give a shit and

he doesn't care about being sympathetic and he doesn't care about being you know a lot of villains want to go for or villain actors want to go for a certain seductiveness or something like that. No, I mean. He's the squirrely kind of like live wire dude who's very twitchy. And when they announced that he was going to be in this, it was really exciting.

I first thought he was going to play a hero because they hadn't announced he was the villain yet. And I was like, I'd love to see him play a hero in something like this. I think when I saw him, I was like, oh, well, he's probably your villain, right? It was either him or Forrest Whitaker and that felt Forrest Whitaker almost felt even more obvious

I do love though that the villain he plays in this isn't like they could have very easily made him like the weird twitchy alien villain I like the idea of Orson director Krennic a lot He's very regal. He's very sort of. He's well apportioned.

He's in his imperial whites all the time. And, but Abe Reisman, you know Abe Reisman. Yeah. He tweeted, Rogue One is in many ways the story of a product manager who gets screwed by one of the firm's senior partners just before rollout. And, you know, that is kind of what Orson Krennic is. He's like, he's the guy who thought of the Death Star and everyone was like,

come on, man. A fucking planet sized spaceship that blows up planets? Like, you're out of your fucking mind. And he like, he makes it happen, damn it! And he gets the scientists and they build the fucking thing and it works and then the minute it works, you know,

everyone's like, oh, wow, this thing's really good. Get out of the way. Like, come on, I'm in charge of this now. He's almost like the Orlando Bloom of this Elizabeth town.

Interesting. But it works, though. You could imagine in Rogue Two he would jump on that suicide. The suicide. Yeah. It works. But I like that they,

even though he's a villain, they cast him against type. Okay, fine. And he's got an amazing look in this movie. And great ears. Great ears. He's got a good look. He's got a very good look.

It goes a long way to making him work as a villain, even if his character's undercooked at times. Yeah. You know. And for a guy who's usually so behavioral and twitchy and physical as an actor to see him play this kind of stoic and regal but not have it feel like an affectation, which I think a lot of people can do where it's just like, okay, squared shoulders,

good posture, he's just posing. It feels like down to his bones, this guy is just like the empire. He's an empire. Yes, I agree with you. And it feels like, you know, you look at, what's his name? Domo Gleeson's character. Hux.

Right, felt like more of a Ben Mendelsohn type and vice versa. But I like that they cast these two against type. Anyway, anyway, anyway, he lands on this planet. He's searching for... And I like this scene too. I like the environment of the planet. I love the opening. It's very verdant.

Yes. It's very moist. too. I like the environment of the planet. I love the opening. It's very verdant. Yes. It's very moist. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, he's searching for Galen Erso. Yeah. That's Mickelson. Who is the father, Jyn Erso.

Yeah, and who is a scientist who was working with him on this, you know, weapon, the Death Star. You get the sense that he's sort of the Albert Einstein to this. Yeah, or the Oppenheimer or whatever. You know, like, yeah, this sort of great scientist roped into, you know, the military industrial complex. Right, and he started getting these reservations about what was going to happen with the Death Star

and sort of backed away. I like this opening because it is using a lot of tropes that we're familiar with in Star Wars because even I mean they talk about him being a moisture farmer but also the sort of pillars in the background are very reminiscent of Luke's home in Tatooine in the original Star Wars which I only call Star Wars of course um and it feels like this is the scene we didn't get to see with Uncle Owen and Amber when the stormtroopers come you you know, and look for them.

Sure. It's like an upsetting inversion where it's like, okay, now we're seeing this through a child's eyes of, we thought you were safe, you're in the middle of nowhere, you're hidden away, and now the Empire comes for you. Because little Jyn is there. Right. And, yeah, so they kill his wife. When she tries to... She tries to shoot

Orson. And she does shoot Orson, I guess, but they kill her. And Orson does not die. They capture Galen. And Jyn runs away and hides in a little hidey hole. And then she's eventually rescued by Forrest Whitaker. Playing Saw Gerrera. But they don't pronounce it Saw.

Don't they say like Sea Gerrera or something? No, Saw. I kept on thinking the way they pronounced it was weird. They just say Saw. Saw Guerrero. Yeah, he plays Saw Guerrero, who's a character from the Clone Wars cartoons, but I've never watched those. I've only dabbled. He's a militant from this Clone Wars cartoon. He's not a huge character.

He's only in a couple episodes. He's got a little arc, and they revived this character older, obviously, because this is set years later. Right. Because this is set essentially when Star Wars is set. It's set like in the, I mean, not this scene, but most of the movie is set in the weeks before Star Wars. Yeah, it takes place literally weeks before Star Wars. So this is, I guess this is 15 years ago, you know, the opening sequence.

So it's set in the middle of the Empire, basically. Like right there in the middle. Great looking character, performance I really like. Wait, which, uh forrest whitaker sagra great looking yeah you like the performance i like the performance it's i mean he's he's doing a lot of a high voice he's doing a lot i mean forrest whitaker this year with the voices yeah because he had his quote boston and quote accent in arrival that was a weird accent. Yeah. Like in a movie about communication, you were like,

this accent is what he's decided to communicate with? Yeah. I mean, Forrest Whitaker's a really interesting screen presence. I love him. Because he's simultaneously very understated and very overstated at the same time. Well, and also, literally no one on Earth in the entire world and the history of humanity looks like Forrest Whitaker. He's got a very unique look. He's got the lazy eye and also this very odd gait.

Everything about him, you're like, there is Forrest Whitaker. A mile away, you could point him out. And he also used to be a bigger guy and he's lost a lot of weight in recent years. He has, although he's still sort of big. He's imposing. Yeah, but it makes his head even more interesting. He's got a great head. I mean, I have always loved Forrest Whitaker.

I'm trying to think. Even as a kid, I knew who he was. Yeah. And I liked his name because his name was Forrest, which is a great name. And Whitaker, what a good last name. Great name. Yeah.

Love you, Forrest Whitaker. But he's got that thing. I mean, I think Forrest Whitaker is the better execution of the Eddie Redmayne thing. Where it's like. Eddie Redmayne in Jupiter Ascending? In everything but Jupiter Ascending. Eddie Redmayne in like Fantastic Beasts or something? I think what both of them excel in is, or what both of them attempt to do is very over-the-top understatement.

Okay. So they're both kind of quiet and whispery, and they're like close-up actors where they're doing micro-expressions. So I was going to have a high voice, though. Well, that's what I like about Secrets! The thing, though, too, about him, and I don't know, it's kind of tiptoeing into Grievous territory

a little bit, with, like, sort of the scratchiness of his voice. And he's got the weird breathing mask on. Well, when we see him later, his hair's grown out. Right. And yeah, he's almost Vader-esque. He has two like robot feet. He has robot feet.

He's got a breathing mask that's attached to his big like sort of robot torso. I mean, armored torso. He's like the Goodwill version of Darth Vader. Exactly. He's a junkie version. Right. They've like had to replace him piece by piece rather than like a full body overhaul. And I think intentionally, and I picked up on him both times, but especially the second

time, when he sucks on his respirator and it makes a Darth Vader noise, you see in Riz Ahmed's face like, like, like, so there's obviously, I think it's an intentional like Darth Vader drop there. I think so too. And I love that. Like, okay, so Darth Vader's, like, fucked up, and they put all this shit on him, and it ends up with him having the deepest, most intimidating voice in the universe. Sure, right. Which is very different from Hayden Christensen's kind of nasal whine. Very true.

Which Jake Lloyd had as well. And then you get to this movie, and it's, like, Forrest Whitaker, who has a range of voices, but is known is known for being like a very powerful voice when he wants to be that yeah right in this suddenly has this like crushed windpipe and he's like what would you do you know he's he's given it all but he's like the inverse of darth vader in every sense i get you yeah yeah yeah um what do you think of I mean I guess there's like there is other stuff in between gin as a kid and gin reuniting with Saw Gerrera but we like since Saw Gerrera scenes are pretty concentrated the beginning movie could just wrap up

Saw Gerrera stuff right now I think let's bridge the gap I mean that you know she runs away Saw Gerrera finds her rogue one there's the title. Ben pumps his fist. Yeah, he's like fucking awesome. Classic yellow script. Right.

But just as Rogue One. And just a smash, like, title. And then we go to, you know, 15 years later, whatever, and Felicity Jones, Jyn Erso, now grown up, is in, like, a cell with a bunch of other weird aliens. Yeah, and we should note, this is a movie, especially at the beginning, it's cutting between a lot of locations in space. It's giving you title cards and explaining what they are in the title cards. This is all new for Star Wars. It's moving

very fast. Yeah. It's definitely got a different kind of rhythm than most Star Wars movies. Yes, because it's about all these links in the chain that have to kind of get united. So, you know, instead of just the old Star Wars movies. Yes, because it's about all these links in the chain that have to kind of get united. So, you know, instead of just... The old Star Wars movies, especially

the Lucas originals, less so like Force Awakens and the later ones, but it's like in the original Star Wars, there are the plans. And you just follow the plans. Like, they go into R2, then you're with R2, you know? And then you follow R2 down to the ship with C-3PO,

and then there's robots walking around for a while. I mean, no one's ever going to make that movie again, right? That's just 15 minutes of robots walking around, talking to each other in the desert. Which I love. Of course, it's the greatest. And then the plans end up with Luke, and then you're following, you know,

you're really just following one thing through many, you know, different plots. Right. Well, I don't even know if we're going to get a Dexter Jetser scene ever again. You know, like, even the prequels are still more methodical that they were, like, pretty concentrated narratives. Right. Well, and, of course, yeah, Attack of the Clones, which you're referencing,

that has the two narratives, but it's trying to be, like, a mystery. Right. But it's, like, the way he, like— A great potboiler. The way he solves the mystery is by having to have like eight different conversations with people that are each long and are not set pieces, are not action sequences.

This movie isn't really concerned with any of that, but we're setting up kind of the different parallel narratives of, okay, who are all the people? We have Booty Rook, which is a lot of fun to say. Yeah. Booty Rook! Yeah is a lot of fun to say. Booty Rook! Yeah, so we've got Jyn in jail or in space, in like

a space chain gang. Yeah. On some rocky planet. Right. You've got Bodhi, who has come to Jedha, which is where Saw Gerrera makes his home. Which was previously the planet of the Jedi? It's a planet with a Jedi temple and you see that big Jedi structure that's been toppled. Looked kind of like Obi-Wan,'s a planet with a Jedi temple and you see that big Jedi structure that's been toppled.

Looked kind of like Obi-Wan, bearded guy with a hood. Yeah, but, well, it's a Jedi. I mean, let's be honest. Those guys didn't exactly, like, vary their fashion choices. You know, a lot of robes. Tell that to Kephisto. Well, that's true. Alright. Respect to Kephisto. An important element of the planet is that the crystals that the Jedi

use for their lightsabers are being mined to basically arm the Death Star. Yes. The kyber crystals. And I think they're called kyber crystals. And I forget if this had been established in a nerdy Star Wars extended canon before. It's a big part of Rebels, I know.

And certainly Clone Wars. It's never been part of the movies before, but it's been part of the mythos for a long time. We've known that you need a crystal, like if you're a Star Wars nerd, to make a lightsaber, right? We've never had a movie talking about kyber crystals this much.

But yeah, so Jedha, which is another Tatooine, another deserty place, but it's got crystals, this one. Saw Gerrera's hanging out there. Big broken statue. It's a flashpoint in the Galactic Civil War, so there's like a very tense place.

And Bodhi has arrived there. He's defected from the Imperial Empire to give information to Saw Gerrera. And so we see some of this. Yes. And then in our third string, I guess, it's, uh, what's his pants? Cassian Andor. Cassian Andor. And K.

He calls him K, but K2SO, right? K2SO. They call him K2. The breakout character of the film yeah so good I think that's fair to say right I mean he's gonna be

the fan favorite so funny fans will love him yeah so Cassian Andor is played by Diego Luna a very pretty man oh

so he's and he's one of those guys who's the more you fuck him up the prettier he gets yeah you know what I mean

I like him dirty which is interesting because he does have such delicate features. He does. That one would almost think. And he's slight. He's kind of a small guy.

Right. He's not like a rugged fucking Kevin Costner where it's like, well, of course you put a beard on that guy. He's going to look really fucking masculine. Right. You know? Right. Like, you put some scrub on him, you put him in dirt, and it's like still just pretty beautiful

eyes. I just love that the two cute boys from Itamama Tambien who made out all the way back in 2002 are still just both getting work in big movies and making their more indie movies and artier movies. De Colón has directed I think one or two films himself.

He just seems like a really sweet guy. I'd marry him. I'd totally marry him. He's directed three movies. There you go. He made Cesar Chavez, which was not a hit, unfortunately. Right. A big biopic with Michael Peña. He made a movie that my mom loved that was about a little boy.

Was it called Ebel? Yes, it is. And I was at a film festival where that was playing, and at the restaurant, he was sitting there at the table next to us with the boy and his parents. Sure. This like child actor he had in a movie. And I was just like, you know how you can really test people's mettle by how well they deal with kids?

Sure. Because you kind of can't bullshit a kid. Right, right. I was just like, this is a dude who's like a movie star dealing with like a child actor who clearly isn't like, you know, a stage kid. Right. And it was like, oh, he's like actually dealing with this kid as a person, has brought him, you know, a stage kid. Right.

And it was like, Oh, he's like actually dealing with this kid as a person is brought into this festival, but is really trying to engage with him and as close to the parents. And I was just like, this seems like a really good person. That's great. Yeah.

So Diego Luna, how do you feel about Cassian Andor? Not a character. Fair enough. So Cassian Andor is an intelligence officer. I loved watching him in this movie. He looked cool. He has great outfits.

I don't think there's a character there. Well, the character is, is pretty broad. And the idea is he looked cool. He has great outfits. I don't think there's a character there. Well, the character is pretty broad, and the idea is he is... Rebel soldier. He's a rebel. No, he's like a spy, so he's had to do some bad things.

You see him do a bad thing in his first scene where he kills an informant, basically to silence the informant, and then escapes, and the informant has given him this news that there's a defector going to Saw Gerrera with some news of a planet killing weapon and so you know cassian gets a couple more scenes where he sort of you know he espouses on this idea that like you know the rebel for the rebel alliance

he's had to do lots of bad shit and he wants to do some good shit uh and that's about the extent of his character i would say yeah i don't he's also like the guy in charge, so he sort of bosses people around and gives exposition and stuff like that. Yeah, he's the expert of the team. So he's the guy who knows what they need to do and how to lead it. I would say Diego Luna projects that all very nicely, the expertise and that sort of an attitude. And I think with a pretty quietly atypical portrayal of masculine dominance for a movie like this. Yes, he's very restrained. Yes.

He's, like I said, he's kind of physically slight, but you still believe in his kind of general skills. He's got a delicate voice. He doesn't try to lower his pitch. A lot of delicate voices. Yeah, I mean, he's pretty gentle. See, this isn't just playing a little delicate wind instrument. There was some dumb review that was circulating around where- I hate dumb reviews. I hate it.

Let's be very clear in the show. No bits, pro smits, anti-dumb reviews. Great. They were saying that a thing that doesn't work in this movie is the film is not given a traditional masculine hero oh yeah which is the most annoying thing in the world it was essentially saying like oh yeah this film really lacks a masculine hero and i i wanted to be like yo you ever met luke and or anakin skywalker because those guys are kind of pretty babies like also all but one of the primary characters in this film is male.

Yeah, no, they're all men except for Jim. I mean, Mon Mothma is a sort of semi-important character. Yeah. And I like that about the movie, that they're not hiring typical leading men for an action film. Not at all. Not any of these characters. And the actors they're hiring,

they're not pushing them to try to play more out of type from what they usually do. They hired everyone to do the thing they're good at doing. They're all great. Yes. Now, I normally like it big, but I will say that I was glad that we don't have any big Vin Diesel-esque guys. It would have just been distracting.

K2 is pretty tall. Well, actually, but that's also unusual. That's the first time we've seen in these kinds of movies a droid who is not either a little garbage can on wheels, some variation of garbage can on wheels, or kind of like an effete butler man who's like, well, excuse me. Essentially, he's not bulky, but he's large. He's tall. but he's large he's tall he's lanky and and he like can bonk you on the head like he's got bonk powers he's got donkey kong arms he's got long that's true they're kind of like uh gorilla arms yeah i love that he had this he he kind of

walks like shaggy from scooby-doo like he's got this slouchy posture this weird build uh he's played by alan tud, who's great. Wouldn't you say his sense of humor is like a robot's sense of humor would be? Yes. He doesn't really have a sense of humor, but he has a completely unfiltered approach to dialogue, which is funny. He's the Drax of this movie. Yeah, he's like Drax. It's a similar game to Drax, where it's like this guy understands the concept of humor and wants to be personable but doesn't have any personable thoughts in his head.

Yes. He's trying to relate to people in the only way he knows how. I would say Alan Tudyk is very good. And Alan Tudyk, really, shout out to Alan Tudyk. You never know it's him. No. I mean, obviously you know because he's in the credits and stuff, but his voices are always different.

Yeah. He always gives a different, like a nuanced vocal performance. Except for, you know what I'm going to say right now. You know what I'm going to say, right? You know what I'm going to say? I mean, I want to try to call it. What are you going to say? I did not murder him!

Oh, yes. That's my favorite. No, what are you thinking? Second time he's played a gentle robot. You're thinking of Wreck-It Ralph? Because he's pretty over the top in that one. Well, he's amazing in that. He's played a gentle robot. Are you thinking of Wreck-It Ralph? Because he's pretty over the top in that one. He's amazing in that. He's amazing.

He also plays the chicken in Moana. Do you know that? Yeah, I do. I know. Isn't that funny? Because they've decided, Disney has decided that Alan Tudyk is their John Ratzenberger. And they were like, we don't really know where to place you in Moana because we want a Pacific Island cast.

We don't want to hire white people to play these characters. There's a chicken and I watched. All the chicken does is squawk by the way. It doesn't talk. I watched B-roll of him recording the chicken and he was like, it's tough because it's just like you're trying to find different things in the squawks. He took it like very seriously. He's great, man. He's great.

Great actor. A fun character. Was he on set? I think he was on set. He was. He was on set. This was a motion capture performance. Even though it's a robot with eyes. Yes. The only thing that's expressive about the robot is his eyes. But it's his movement.

Yeah. And he was on set the whole time. And then- His movement is very particular, like you say. He's a great physical actor. And there is something about the robot just kind of standing there all lanky and weird and then just suddenly going like, bonk. Well, and Mr. I Did Not Murder Him was like one of the first.

I Did Not Murder Him. That was one of the first mainstream mocap performances. It was like sort of right after Gollum. Yeah, and people were talking about it like, ooh, and everyone I think was like, forget it, come on. But he's really good in that. He is, except for I Did Not Murder Him. Yeah.

But anyway, yeah. Okay, so that's the main group of people that we're sort of introduced to. What movie are you guys talking about? I Rub It. I Rub It, yeah. Okay, so that's the main group of people that we're sort of introduced to. What movie are you guys talking about? I Rub It. I Rub It, please. Okay. And then, wait, so what? How do Cassian and Jyn end up together again?

Cassian, well, they break her out of her jail. Right. She gets broken out of the chain gang and she's trying to escape and K-2SO grabs her, throws her to the ground and says, congratulations, you've been rescued. Yes. Which is funny. Yeah, it-2SO grabs her, throws her to the ground and says, congratulations, you've been rescued. Yes. Which is funny.

Yeah, it's funny. And then they take her to Yavin 4, which is, we've seen before. That's the planet where the Battle of Yavin in the end of Star Wars takes place.

And that's where she meets Mon Mothma. Which, shout out, what's her name, Genevieve O'Reilly. Genevieve O'Reilly. The same actress

who played Mon Mothma in the deleted scenes of Revenge of the Sith you do see her in Revenge of the Sith but she has no words yes but she shot a lot of footage

that was cut but we did address in great detail on our deleted scenes episode and that there was an action figure made of her which no one bought

because she was no longer in the movie other than as a background lady with a nice dress yes but I do like that and it's funny because we're going to talk about Tarkin in a second lady with a nice dress yes but i do like that uh and it's funny because we're going to talk about tarkin in a second i mean obviously he's dead but nonetheless

like i do like the because revenge of the sith is 11 years old at this point correct so yes okay mon mothma has aged more than 11 years since revenge of the sith fine but 11 years is still pretty it's like that's that's a nice gift you're getting. The actress is aged 11 years and that's pretty good. You can just throw her back in there. She's playing the same person. It's pretty fucking cool. You know what? She's excellent. She's really good.

She's very quiet and very authoritarian. Kind of like the original Mon Mothma. Maybe even better. I think she adds more layers and nuances. Minnie M Many Bothans died. Yeah. Yeah, I read an interview with that original actress once

when she was like, I didn't know what a Bothan was, but I knew it was sad. She was just like, handed some piece of paper, you know, say many Bothans died. So the mission becomes,

you know, they need Jyn Erso. They want to find Galen Erso. They want to find Galen Erso because all they know is he's part of some super weapon being designed, some planet killer. Right. And they're told, and Jyn's obviously there, apparently this is with Saw Gerrera. Jyn knows Saw Gerrera. You're going to go there.

You're going to find Galen. And then on the side, Cassian's told, you got to kill Galen Erso. Yeah, kill him on sight. Wanted dead or dead. Yeah, with extreme prejudice, essentially. This is bad that I can't remember what happens next in the movie. What do you mean? And I saw it last night.

Okay, so what's the next series? How do they end up with Baze and Sherrod Emway? Well, I should say that we're cutting, you know, during this, we're also cutting over to Saw Gerrera a couple times. Right. He's interrogating Bodhi. Bodhi Rook. He has a big tentacle monster tentacle his head to make sure that he's not lying.

There's a tentacle monster scene. Sure. Bodhi Rook. Yes. What were you going to say about the tentacle monster? What did you think of the tentacle monster? Cool. Good performance.

Like it. Hard pass. Hard pass on meeting the tentacle monster or? No, on performance review. I'm saying. Oh, a pass. We will do a performance review, P.S. Sure.

And Bodhi Rook, we should mention, played by Riz Ahmed. Great actor. Yeah, Riz Ahmed. A great up-and-coming young British rapper slash actor. Yeah. He was so cute. Yeah, who you know best as a Griffey Award nominee for Nightcrawler. Best supporting actor.

Which I thought he was okay in, but you know what? I love him in Four Lions. Yeah, I think he's phenomenal in Nightcrawler, Best Supporting Actor. Which I thought he was okay in, but you know what? I love him in Four Lions. Yeah, I think he's phenomenal in Nightcrawler. I think he's good, but I don't like that movie, so that was a problem for me. Interesting, okay. Nightcrawler, we should say,

directed by the editor of this movie? No, see, that's yet another Gilroy. There's too many Gilroys. The editor of this movie is John Gilroy. But that's Dan Gilroy who made Nightcrawler. Are they all related? I think they have to be. I know Dan and Tony are definitely.

I have to imagine Tony getting screenwriting credit on it. They're all the son of Frank Gilroy, a Pulitzer Prize winning play writer. Interesting. He wasn't a Pulitzer Prize winning play, which I almost said. He wrote The Subject Was Roses. Their father was Anna and the Tropics, the Pulitzer Prize winning play, which I almost said. He wrote the subject was roses. Their father was Anna and the Tropics, the Pulitzer Prize winning play. Oh, boy. There was also a female Gilroy in the uncredits who I noted worked in the art department.

Well, that might be a different Gilroy because he's listed as having three sons. But she might be married to one of the three boys. Let's not get into Marsha Lucas territory so early. All right. Anyway, so Ridge Suckman. So what I was saying is we're cutting between these two things. And then you've got the little team, which is Cassian, Jyn Erso, K2SO. Is that it?

It's just the three of them. At that point, yeah, right. They get on their ship. They go to Jedha, which is where Saw Gerrera is. They're in the city of Jedha, and it's when they're walking around there that they meet the guardian of the wills, the blind master of the Jedi temple. Oh, right. He feels her.

Yeah, he feels her because she's wearing a kyber crystal. Right. He senses it. Yeah, because his dad gave her a little kyber crystal before she ran away that she puts around her neck. This character I find very interesting because this feels like- Chirrut Imwe? Yes.

Yes. Played by Donnie Yen. Yes. Who is, of course, a legend of Hong Kong action cinema. Ip Man. Yes. And many others. I mean, how old do you think he is?

How old do I think Donnie Yen is? 52. Oh, he's 53. That's really good. I'm good at this. He's been around forever. He's hot. Yeah.

He's stacked. Yeah. Out of movies, he always has a Teen Bob haircut. He's got... I don't know. He's awesome. I mean, he's mostly in Hong Kong movies. He's playing the villain in Triple X, The Return of Xander Cage.

Can I say something to you about that movie? Yeah. It looks really bad. I agree. Isn't that a bummer? It's a bummer. But you know what? Triple X was never good. No. Because Triple X is really bad. Yeah. Like really bad. Yeah. And you know what I didn't think Triple X The Return of Xander Cage was going to do?

Be bad? No. Double down on like the extreme sports angle. Yeah. Because like it's 2016! No, no! Also, this is your quick reminder, as I always like to point out, but somehow forgot to point out in the Saving Private Ryan episode where they both appear on screen together,

Paul Giamatti and Vin Diesel are the exact same age. So just imagine Paul Giamatti doing a film that focused on extreme sports doing all those stunts. So when you say extreme sports, like they're going to skateboard? It's like fucking not even like longboarding and like street luging and shit like that. Yeah, right. That's the thing. They've dug deep to get some new extreme sports.

Are they even parkour though? No, not even. He's not a, Vin Diesel's too big to parkour. Vin Diesel can't really move. He's not really someone who can like jump in the air. There's a reason all of Vin Diesel's franchises are parkour. Vin Diesel can't really move. He's not really someone who can jump in the air. There's a reason all of Vin Diesel's franchises are based around putting wheels on him. Yeah, he needs to be seated. He jumps through the wall.

He doesn't grab the wall. He can even be standing on something with wheels. I guess so. He just can't really walk. Anyway, so Donnie Yen. He's great. I'm going to make a movie where Vin Diesel is on a Lazy Susan the whole time. It's going to be a drama where we just have to spin Vin Diesel around.

And is it called Lazy Susan? Yeah. That's good. That's good. Is it a sequel to Lady Susan, which just turned into Love and Friends? Yeah, and it's a prequel to Lazy Sunday. Great. Thank you.

Ten comedy points. All right. Why do you think Chirrut Imwe is an interesting character? This is the first movie we've seen without any Jedi's in it. Very true. As we are repeatedly told, the Jedi are all dead. Right. Of course, we know Obi-Wan, and he's briefly mentioned not by name.

Right. But apart from that. We don't see a lightsaber ignited until the very end of the film true and it is by mr bad himself darth vader right he is a jedi technically or whatever he's a sure but he's a sith now come on he's a fucking sith lord look i can't deny it he gave us zero stars he's a sith lord i'm not happy about the fact that he's a sith lord i'm not happy about it either i wish he hadn't turned and murdered all those younglings sucks it blows i think order 66 was on balance a bad order yeah i think one of

the worst it's the worst one i can think of off the top of my head there was no i'm thinking there was one time i ordered a hawaiian pizza from domino's that was and what was your order number on that one 24 68 17 okay uh so no jedi in this as you say, but the closest thing we get is this guy. Right, who's kind of... He's kind of Force adjacent. Yes. He's, you know, like a friend of the Force. Because Force sensitive is the word they use when someone has the ability to sort of be, you know, a Jedi.

Could be nurtured into being a Jedi, right? Sure. But this guy is just kind of like Force aware? Yeah, there's probably a word for it because you know what the extended universe is like. They've got words for everything. Well, and there's this sort of feeling to him like, okay, he's a blind man and we all know that like, you know, you take away one sentence,

the other ones get heightened, right? Well, I mean, put it this way in D&D terms. If the Jedi are paladins, he's a monk. You know what I mean? He's got some magic powers, sort of. Like, he's got a little bit of mojo. But he's not, his power isn't derived literally through, like, channeling magic into his weapon. Well, these are the two things I like about him.

And the monk analogy, I think, is interesting. Yes. I mean, he's kind of like a monk. One is that, if we're using this kind of Star Wars logic of, like, okay, a blind man in our world has a heightened sense of hearing. Right. Of course. Yes. It's playing into that a little bit.

Right. Star Wars in their world. The force is such a tangible thing. Right. That it almost is like that's another sense. And if you were blind, you would maybe be able to recognize and pick up on that. And if you trained yourself. Exactly.

You know, in a way that others would ignore. The other thing is he's kind of a religious fanatic. A little bit. He's a follower. He's a follower. I would say that

he's like the serious version of you know Grandma Glasses in Force Awakens. What the fuck is her name? Jesus Christ.

Lupita Nyong'o. Oh Mas Kanata. Mas Kanata. Right because she's also someone who's not a Jedi, but can see the Force with her big glasses. And he's someone who's not a Jedi, but he can feel

the Force using his blind person powers. Here's the difference for me. I feel like Maz Kanata is like a Talon agent. Yeah, right. She's not religious. Right, but she's like, you just got something. I can see it. I got a good eye. That's a good call. She is like a Talon agent. Right? Yeah. She's like, what do you want to be doing? Sitcom? Stage? What's your priority. Right, but she's like, you just got something. I can see it. I got a good eye. That's a good call. She is like a talent agent. Right?

Yeah. She's like, what do you want to be doing? Sitcom, stage? What's your priority? Right, right. She's like Peggy Siegel. Right. She's Peggy Siegel.

Who's not an agent, I should say. No. But that's the one. You know, they're going to do a Maz Kaneda one-woman show on Broadway played by Ben Midler. Elaine Stritch. Yeah. Elaine Stritch should have played her. If Elaine Stritch wasn't dead, she would have been a great Maz Kaneda.

Sue Mengers. That was the one I was trying to think of. The Bette Midler play. Anyway, great reference. I'm sure Richard Lawson will love that one. Hi, Richard. That's a joke for Richard. Maybe Bobby Finger.

Bobby Finger. I'm pretty sure Bobby will like that one, too. Bobby Richard and we're out. Esther could if she's listening. Esther might. Yeah. Only past guests of this podcast will like that joke. Joe Reed will like that.

Yeah, Joe Reed will. Katie will definitely like it. All right. So shout out to all you guys. No, it's great. Jared Emway is like a religious disciple. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Like he's almost like a priest where he is like, I am not claiming that I have the power of Christ within me. I live my life by the teachings of Christ in service of that, trying to continue that on into the world. Right. And so it's the first time we've kind of seen how the force and the idea of the Jedis affect lay people. Right. Because in The Force Awakens, there's this thing of like of like the Jedi's we've heard that was maybe a legend but it's like we know either from the beginning of that movie we know that either

Finn or Rey are going to end up being a Jedi. We know the narrative this is going on. And this is a movie where none of those people are in that. These are lay people and it is like oh in this period of time after Order 66 has been executed after all the Jedi's are on the lam and whatever. Someone like Sherrod

Emway would just be like, Jesus is going to return. Like, this is a powerful thing. We can't lose sight of this. He's the guardian of a Jedi temple on this planet that has essentially been strip-mined because all its crystals were taken away. He's sort of a pathetic figure almost.

Like, in an admirable sort of way. Well, in a way, the people like an agnostic would go like this is fucking or not even agnostic. An atheist would just like angrily be like, Jesus isn't fucking real. Get over it. God isn't real. This universe is meaningless. And he's just like so committed to this idea of the force, you know.

Right. And the power it has. That's the first time we've seen force through, the force through, like, a layperson's eyes without immediately being confirmed that, like,

this is a real thing. Come with me. You're part of the system. I'm cool with that. And I also want to, can I get really nerdy for a second? Please, please.

There's, I mean, this is the place to do it. So I believe, is it, I think it's Cassian says, he's a guardian of the wills or something like that. He uses the word wills.

Yes. W-H-I-L-L-S. And you you know of course Star Wars was originally called like when George Lucas first wrote it was Star Wills no it was called like the adventures of like Starkiller the journal of the wills it had like the most like laborious like fucking dorky name ever and the his original idea for Star Wars that is that you were reading the Journal of the Whills who were like ancient scribes you know

of the Jedi adventures and he wanted it to be like relayed like I mean look George Lucas is a fucking crackpot. Right. Let's be honest.

Yeah. But I like that they have brought that name back. Yeah I do too. To sort of sprinkle it on. They're using every piece of the buffalo. I mean they're definitely at this point,

even the stuff. And that's like a buffalo spleen. You know, let's be honest. It's not the meatiest part. Right, and people were angry when like Kathleen Kennedy took over and was like, all that stuff is Star Wars legends.

None of it is canon anymore. But it's just like, she doesn't want to be tied down by those stories, but she's already picking a lot of pieces from extended universe stuff and reintegrating it into the main canon and being like,

I'm going to take what's necessary. Yeah, don't worry. Yeah, I got you. So, Chirrut Imwe. And then he's got Baze Malbus, who I think is the coolest

looking character in the movie. Baze Malbus is awesome. And this guy's got a great fucking presence. He's played by Zhang Wen, who's one of the greatest directors of Chinese cinema to ever have lived. Which is interesting that it's like... great fucking presence. He's played by Zhang Wen, who's one of the greatest directors of Chinese cinema to ever have lived. Which is interesting that it's like.

Which is fantastic. I mean, he also acts. I mean, this isn't like his first role. He's a director primarily. Well, no, he started out as an actor, and then in the 90s he starts directing. Yeah, at this point he's more of a director. Is that fair to say? Yes, that is definitely fair to say.

I'm looking at his credit system. And he's a big gun guy, we should say. Yeah, he's a big gun guy. Oh, this guy's got a big gun. I mean, not Jiang Wen. I can't speak to his gun ownership, but we're talking about Baze Malbus here. Sure. And he's got a big gun that's like hooked up.

He's got like a super soaker with like a big water tank on the back. Well, it's like a Ghostbusters setup. He's got like a backpack connected to a big gun that he holds in his hand, which I love. He's like a fucking Star Wars ghost. And he like shoots like, I don't know, just a better laser. Star Wars has always struggled with conveying power because everything, everything shoots is kind of the same thing. Yeah. They all just shoot a red laser.

If we're going to open up the floodgates this much, I'd love a Star Wars story that's just explaining the hierarchy of lasers. Yeah. Be like, okay, here's the number one best laser we've ever had. This is a great laser. Why are they green? Why are they red? I don't know. Why are they blue?

To look different. Yeah. Well, the blue ones are ion weapons, which cause electrical failures. You see that in this one a little bit. Okay. Yeah. They meet the two of them.

Well, so they meet him because he senses it. And then a bunch of stormtroopers come out. And Jyn and Cassian and K2 are trying to run away. And Shurit takes on all these stormtroopers. Wax them all with a big stick. With a big stick. And also, which I think is even cooler, he's kind of like getting out of the way and letting them shoot each other.

Yeah. That's pretty fucking cool. Yeah. out of the way and letting them shoot each other yeah that's pretty fucking cool yeah um but the the grander idea also is that you are seeing like the epicenter of essentially what you know terrorism like you know this guerrilla war like you're seeing so one of sagarera's band of fighters like just fuck shit up they're just like tossing grenades and blowing up stormtroopers and being jerks and it's chaos and he's also sort of someone trying to hold on to the necessity of religion in a very. Oh, sure it is.

Yes. In a very dire time. In a time where people would lose humanity most. He's so good. The way he's got a very odd delivery. Yes. Which I think is like very clever and like special. Like Forrest Whitaker.

Like, you know,. He's just, it's not quite a lisp, but he's got this sort of like lilting way of. Oh, we're coming up. I can't even do it. It's great. Yeah.

And Baze Malbus is sort of his protector. I mean, I like this dynamic. Yeah, he's like his buddy, but he's grumpy about it. It's a great, it's a classic dynamic. He's kind of his Chewbacca,

but he's also sort of his bodyguard where he's like, why can't this guy just sit in a room and sit still? I've got to keep chasing after him, shooting other people. But you can feel the love between them. So much love. So strong. I wish they had more.

Yeah, but I mean, you know, you get what you get. You get what you get. They made a movie. This is, I want to throw out. It's like we bought a zoo, but with making and a movie. Right, we made a movie. I want to give them one It's like we bought a zoo, but with making and a movie. Right. We made a movie. Mm-hmm. I want to give him one slap on the wrist here.

In this Sherrod Emway sequence where he takes down all the stormtroopers, they cut every other second to a different angle. You have Donnie Yen in your fucking movie. I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Play it in wides. Don't edit around this. I don't, look, I mean, I don't know.

We should shout out, by the way, this film is directed by Gareth Edwards. We haven't mentioned that. Oh, yeah, because he kind of directed it. He directed it. Look, I mean, I don't know. We should shout out, by the way, this film is directed by Gareth Edwards. We haven't mentioned that. Oh, yeah. Because he kind of directed it. He directed it. Look, I'm not into that. That sort of asterisk. He's the listed director. He was on set the whole time. He's Gareth Edwards. He's the director. He directed it and by all accounts, they

brought on Tony Gilroy, who had been doing some uncredited script work at that point to rework more of the script and reshoot like 40% of the movie with Gareth Edwards' approval. Uh-huh. But it sounds like Tony was in the chair and Gareth Edwards was just going like,

yeah, that's fine with me. Yeah. Okay. With this stuff, especially since no one has reported out, like with Suicide Squad, some shit actually got reported out by trade papers and stuff.

It's hearsay at this point. It's hearsay. They did a lot of reshoots. Mm-hmm. If you watch the early, especially the early trailers for this movie, there's a lot of stuff in those trailers that is not in this movie. And I will say some of that stuff

that they removed from the trailers was maybe the cornier parts of the trailer. So maybe you can see what, you know, what was getting diverted off of the train. It's the more emotional stuff that I probably would have had an easier time relating to.

All the speeches in the trailers feel like they were more fucking character based. I'll say this though. Yes? What's interesting about the stuff that's missing from the movie but was in the early trailers is it's not something like the Josh Trank Fantastic Four where you're like, this is a whole set piece that isn't here anymore. It's nothing like that. It's like these feel like alternate versions of scenes that are in the film sure and not just oh here are lines that were cut out of this scene but like here is a scene that kind of happens in this movie but is happening

in a totally different location in the trailer but like different spaces different timelines characters who haven't met yet and stuff like that it feels like they had two completely alternate versions of this movie right which isn't like they uh you know we're like oh this isn't working we got to make it more like this it was like uh what if we tell the story this way instead maybe like it feels like there's an alternate universe cut of this film maybe we'll probably never see it we'll probably never see it nope or even here really what happened gareth edwards has been by all accounts a good soldier on the press store and stuff and you know has just said like

yeah no Tony helped a lot with the reshoots. Like there's no we haven't noticed yet a breach in the publicity wall to kind of figure out what it is that happened. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah. And also of course Tony Gilroy is a real director who's been nominated for an Oscar and makes decent movies. It's not like Suicide Squad where they hired a trailer company.

Right. You know, like it is. It's a little more old school Hollywood professional. But when this film was announced, it was Gareth Edwards and Gary Whitta. And then after a year, they said Gary Whitta had finished his work on the film. I'm putting in air quotes. Wait, Gary Whitta wrote it? The original script.

Yes. Yeah. And then they said like, oh, Gary Whitta has finished his work on the film. A new writer will now come aboard. Well, I mean, look, they did the same thing with Force Awakens. I know. I'm not saying this in a negative way. And then they brought on Chris Weitz.

He of About a Boy and Twilight Saga New Moon. And fucking the Golden Compass. Yeah. A.K.A. the golden shitting of the golden bed. Okay. He also wrote Cinderella for Disney recently. He's been doing a lot of stuff at Disney. At this point, I think he's now just kind of like Tony Gilroy,

like a guy you get. Yeah. And then, so it was like, okay, is Gary Wittigan going to get screenplay credit on this? A Lucasfilm guy who was a VFX guy pitched the original idea for the movie. John Knoll. And he's credited his story. Right.

With Gary Witta, who wrote the original draft and only gets a story credit, and then the screenplay credit is shared between... We should shout out what Gary Whitta has written in his past. A film we've covered. After Earth. After Earth. Which was set after Earth. That's when that movie was set, was after the Earth.

Tony Gilroy has a co-screenwriting credit on this, and then there are three credited editors, one of whom is the third Gilroy brother. There's four. There's a lot of credited editors. There were a lot of editors on this movie. Including me, I did a little work. Yeah.

On the weekends, you just pitched in. Yeah. You helped him move. I just spliced in a bunch of droid stuff. Yeah, originally first cut of this movie, no droids. Weird choice. But this movie doesn't feel reshot and re-edited in a sense that there are like continuity errors or like gaping holes it feels pretty tight

but it also feels like you can see that there's like oh nothing to see here we plastered over this door you know i also just think the tone of the film kind of shifts, you know, in each third of the movie. Like, I don't mean, like, even the emotional tone. I more mean, like, the way the storytelling is working. Yeah. But I also, I do kind of hate the forensic, like, let's try to figure, because, like, we don't know. I'd like to know. I'd like to know, too.

know I'd like to know I'd like to know too it does feel to me though like it feels to me like that kind of movie just because it feels like they never latched on to what the character story is in the song and apparently I read today that apparently Disney saw the first cut of the film and felt I mean and once again this is hearsay right but I read on on

some website that Disney saw the first cut of the film and felt that Jin Ur urso was too um prickly yes she was too brittle yeah which if you look at the early trailers she's being i rebel right and they say the thing like arrested for this wanted for this she has a big rap sheet yeah this idea that she's been like a troublemaker yeah and now they're trying to get her on the good side and so they want to make her more sympathetic and empathetic i don't know why they decided to do that but i'm also yeah i don't know they shouldn't have done that because it doesn't really work no because felicity jones is giving a prickly performance in this movie and uh the idea that they're laying out especially in the first third is like you've got your rebel alliance

but then you've also got your saw guerrera who she's was raised by right who's like a little more extreme kind of more militant like more resorts to open violence like easily not like a very warm loving surrogate father exactly so like why not just and obvious obviously that's more of a like something that got sanded off like right because they mention it and but it doesn't they don't explore it right but i think there must have been a little more territory and we've got that speech that got cut out of the trailer where he's like, what will you become? And he has the early timeline haircut. Because in the present day stuff in the movie, he's got big hair. In the movie, he's got big hair. But in that speech, he's got no hair.

Which is a real haircut. I want to make that clear. The ultimate haircut. Where all the hair is cut. The greatest of all haircuts. I think... Stupid. I think the stupid thing they do by taking away the prickly elements is... She's so prickly, though, you know? Like, I mean, the emotion stuff is with her dad, I guess. By trying to sand it down, she becomes a character so much more defined by her backstory than anything she is in the present day.

Like, they play up the emotions of her missing her father and all of that sort of stuff. There are a lot of scenes of her crying in this movie. I'm not saying that in a reductive way, but it just feels like she's mostly defined by her relationship to the father. She's not there anymore. Rather than the original strike of this character

that sounds like it was more like how someone would turn out if they actually were raised in that environment. Well, also, I think the more important thing in this movie, and for me it works, but you could even do a little more, is the idea that she's falling in love with the rebel cause. Yeah. And there's this trope where early on in the movie,

Cassian says, like, well, rebellions are built on hope. And she then parrots that line later when she's trying to rally everyone to make this big strike to get the Death Star plans. One cue for you. Sorry, keep going. Give us the cue. Do all heroes have to be orphans in this universe? Yes, of course.

Okay. Yeah, no problem. It just seems like that keeps happening. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I think, yeah, Star Wars is, you know, we talk about it a lot, but it's like Star Wars is more rooted in fantasy and fairy tales than sci-fi tropes. It's very fairy tale. And that's a real thing of like, you know, okay, the neglected kid, the latchkey child left in the woods, whatever. Right.

It's capable of greatness, gets caught up in a crazy story. Also, parents stink. Yeah, parents fucking suck. Yeah. Especially when they build a crazy story. Also, parents stink. Yeah, parents fucking suck. Especially when they build a Death Star. Yeah, that's the worst. And kids rule. Yeah. This is a movie about how kids rule.

When I've talked in the past, like in the early Star Wars episodes, a lot about my father's financial troubles, I forgot to mention it was because he built a Death Star. Which was really very uncool of him. Very uncool and so fucking expensive because it always costs more than you think it will. Also, he build it in the south yeah that's the dumb thing he

built a death star in tennessee all right so um so so they get throwback no it's a good throwback i just said we should just move on right yeah i don't know do you want to do more of it no no what i was just gonna say is i think there's there's you look at the trailers and it feels like there's a character story set up of this woman who is forced to become fiercely independent, right? Okay. And block everyone out and fight for herself, who then finds a group that she can actually be part of, right? To stop being so solitary and isolated and antagonistic to everyone around her. And it feels like now she's someone who's just kind of like bumping around and they're

like, do you want to do this? And she's like, yeah, I guess I do want to be a rebel. Okay. Well, no, at first she's like, sure. And then they go to Saw Gerrera's house. And it's a house. It's a house. It's a nice house.

It's like a temple. I don't know what it is. It's some sort of carved in a mountain thingy. Yeah. And she's like, look, they told me to introduce you guys. So here I am. I'm introducing you guys and I'm done. Right. And then he shows her this message from his dad and the dad is saying, like, look, they told me to introduce you guys. So here I am. I'm introducing you guys and I'm done, right? And then he shows her this message from his dad and the dad is saying, like, I'm sorry,

Jen. I'm sorry about, you know, that whole me getting kidnapped in front of you when you were a kid. Fucking sucked. I know. Me a culpa. I'm sorry that everyone, you know, keeps reminding you that I'm building like a collaborator and I built this Death Star thing.

Technically, that's not on me. I know it triggers bad memories but don't blame me for people talking about me. I would classify this the term you guys use is pretty sweaty. It's a little sweaty. Yeah. And it's a long this feels like a reshoot thing where it was like okay we cut out a bunch of other stuff now. Maybe yeah. Mads Mikkelsen

speech has to be much longer to cover all the other. Here's the info dump it's a long speech and of course also they are trying to make this an emotional linchpin because she basically collapses on her knees watching it crying. And it's a hologram. And it's a hologram. I mean, look, another classic.

They love to fucking throw out a hologram whenever they fucking can. But let's bridge. The only thing that happens- They're kind of retconning here that the flaw in the Death Star, that's not just some flaw where someone was like, oopsie, I left a hole here. Shouldn't shoot anything down that. Just FYI. No, he was like, oopsie, I left a hole here. Shouldn't shoot anything down that. Just FYI. No, he was like, psst, I left a hole here.

Shoot something down that. Because it'll blow the whole damn thing up. Yeah, that's on purpose. Which I think is a fun retcon. That's a good retcon. I do too. I like that. You're going to do this whole trick.

That's a nice one to do. In between these two points, because we can cover this quickly, the whole gang gets arrested and then they do a jailbreak together. Right. And then they get on a ship. So now our separate characters who have been existing in different planes are now all together. They're all together. We should also say, though, Jedha gets blown up by Death Star. Right. The city gets blown up.

It's kind of a cool... They can't have the Death Star blow up a planet. Yeah. Because when the Death Star blows up a planet in Star Wars, that's the first time it blew up a planet. I guess they could have done some trickery to get around that, but they decide not to to their credit. But they're testing it out. They're going like a tree.

Okay, cool. Let's try a block. They could have blew up a moon. Yeah. Can we do a district? They don't blow up any moons. They shoot a city and it's sort of, you know, it's like a nuclear attack. Yeah.

And it's cool. And it's upsetting. And it's upsetting. And it's upsetting. I think this film deals with the viscerality of war. I know this is a thing that people have been arguing over Idiots have been arguing over this There was the headline of like this is the first Star Wars movie to really focus on the war

Todd Vanderwerf, future guest I mean he didn't write the headline but he wrote the piece and whoever, you know, Vox, people put headlines on it Like yeah the headline was something It's the first film that yeah really deals with Which I think it does, I think this is the first movie that makes the war feel immediate and upsetting This feels like a war movie not a space opera

Yes, because we're seeing like on theground battles with characters who might not make it, and mostly don't. But not only that, to me this feels like a fucking John Ford 1940s propaganda movie where you're supposed to watch this and think, the rebels are the heroes. It's supposed to be about every man does his part, and you're all cogs in this great important thing. And yes, of course, sacrifice must be made, but it's all in service of defeating the Empire. I like that, and that's one of the things I like about the movie. Now, stylistically- It's like whipping you up.

The movie I would compare it more to is Black Hawk Down. Or Dirty Dozen is the thing I thought sure a grittier version the visuals are grittier but stylistically in terms of storytelling in terms of the sort of

immediacy of the war yes you know the ugliness of it and sort of the sensory overload kind of thing and also that it's kind of a guerrilla war so there's a lot of

like little skirmishes and yeah it felt like Black Hawk to me which is also a movie I have a hard time engaging with the most love that movie I know you do and I think that movie is technically veryawk to me which is also a movie I have a hard time engaging with the most. Love that movie. I know you do

and I think that movie is technically very well executed but I just watch it and I go like, oh, okay. Yeah, war sucks. They escape. They get on the ship.

They go to the hologram. Yeah, no. They get on the ship. They go to Rain Planet. I forget what it's called but there's a rain planet. I think it's called Rain Planet. That's correct.

It's called Rain Planet. Yeah. And that's where- The second Rain Planet we've's called Rain Planet. Yeah. And that's where The second rain planet we've seen now. True. True. And that's where

her daddy Galen is and he's been making the Death Star. This to me is the saggiest part of the movie. This feels the most reshot to me too. I would agree.

Not sure what. This is how they had to like unite the two halves of the movie. I guess so. Yeah. You know we can talk about it. I guess we should

Great rain work. The rain's amazing. It's good rain work. And they have some really good ponchos. All of them start wearing ponchos. Oh, the ponchos. Ponchos. Here's the thing.

I want to give some credit here. Here's the thing I think Rogue One does really well. It hits upon what I think is a basic fundamental tenant of Star Wars films. Yeah. That the original trilogy did really well and the Phantom Mass trilogy got away from. British people in jackets. Ugh. Just some great British people

in some great jackets. And I know Cassie Andor isn't British, but he's got two amazing jackets in this film. He's got a jacket that I would pay top dollar

to wear. No question. She's got some nice jackets too. This is a very jacket-y movie and it's a lot of Brits to get, so it can fit together better with the

original Star Wars. Just to point out Ben Mendelsohn is Australian but you know Brit adjacent. He's not wearing a jacket he's wearing like a tunic.

Yeah he has a cape actually. He's got a pretty sexy cape. Wonderful cape. Nice cape. But a lot of like a lot of the background rebels on this are just like

that's a guy with a good mustache and an even better jacket. But we should also point out that almost everyone in this movie is not white except for the villains

obviously because the Empire is always white. But Felicity Jones is the only Caucasian. Felicity Jones and her dad are the only white people. Yeah. You've got a nice, colorful cast. Yeah. Ooh, there's that weird little guy. Oh, yeah.

The little guy's great. Griffin pumped his fist. Yeah. We don't know his name yet, although maybe I should fire the trading card game back up because that's how you learn some names. I can't get back into that. No, I can't either. Yeah, I mean, I'm the opposite of Ben.

I like little guys. And there's a little, it's just like a great little creature who's sort of trying to get out and get ahead at the beginning of the movie. I always say his name wrong. He looks like Grotto? Quatto? Quatto. I thought you were trying to say Watto for a second. You do always say his name wrong. Just remember like Grotto? Quatto?

You do always say his name wrong. Just remember that way. But I like that guy because he's like Yeah! Liked him. Good guy. So, at this rain planet, Jyn is reunited with her father briefly, but he dies. They're trying to find out

Orson is there. Orson's there, and he's trying to find out Orson is there right Orson's there and he's trying to find out who was betrayed right betrayed the Empire sent you know Bodhi the pilot away right

and so he's got like six guys and he's like someone step forward and Galen's like oh fuck I can't let these people die so he steps forward

and he's like I did it and then he shoots all the guys anyway and Krennic's like I'm not gonna fucking kill you because I need you but just know

you make mistakes like this other people die. But then they all get blown up by a rebel attack, and so Mads, you know, Galen dies. Right. And Orson runs away.

And Jyn holds her father in her arms and gets to say goodbye to her father. And he convinces her, like, you gotta destroy this thing. It's essentially like blowing up the Death Star

is completing her father's work. Now, between the opening of the film, which we've discussed, and this point when Orson Krennic is here, all the other scenes of Orson Krennic are him on a ship talking to a computer-generated Peter Cushing. You're wrong. There's one other scene.

What's the other one? Him talking to Darth Vader. I thought that came after this. No, it comes right before this one. Because this is him. I think it's right after. I can't remember where it is. Because it's him trying to clean up the mess, and then he goes to Darth Vader. It doesn't matter. I can't remember where it is because it's him trying to clean up the mess and then he goes to Darth Vader.

It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter when it is. It's right around there. But anyway, Peter Cushing. Who died in 1994, is in this movie, and is one of the five or six main characters. No, he's one of the ten main characters. I'd say he's six or seven. That's not true.

main characters. I'd say he's six or seven. That's not true. All he does is stand on the whatever he is on, Star Destroyer, Death Star, whatever, and say like, fire the weapon, do the thing. Except for

for whatever reason they decided to make this sort of conflict, the boardroom conflict as I previously mentioned between him and Orson over who the Death Star belongs to and or who it gets blamed on.

They decided to make this part of Orson's arc. So you've got him not just saying fire things but also once in a while kind of emoting. Because he wants this. He's been working hard. He started in the mail room. He's worked his way all the way up to the Imperial Destroyer, and he wants

to get the credit for this. This is Orson's idea, the Death Star. That's his whole character. But of course in Star Wars, Tarkin appears to be the inventor of the Death Star, the guy who's in charge of the Death Star, the guy who takes all the credit for the Death Star. Do they have pitch meetings, do you think?

So I'm spitballing here. I just want to toss out an idea. I had a weird dream last night. Bad first pitch. Like a killer planet? All right. So they've decided to bridge the gap. Yeah. You know, but to explain why one villain would not be, you know, around and the next villain is in Star Wars.

And they decide to do that by using... By recreating... Yeah, go ahead. No, using the technology that David Fincher used to recreate Orville Redenbacher in those creepy CGI commercials. They are very weird. I think it looks exactly like that. I think the technology's advanced, but it's the same creepy thing where it's like, this is a specific

human being, we know what they look like, and they're asking him to do a lot of acting. It's not just one shot. He's got a lot of dialogue in this movie. He's got a fair amount of dialogue. It's all him sort of squabbling with Orson, basically. Yes. I'll say a bunch of things. Please. One, do you know about the slippers?

No. What's the slippers? Okay, so in Star Wars, all of the Imperial officers wear these kind of jack boots. They wear these sort of fancy Nazi boots. Right. Peter Cushing didn't like the boots. Yeah. He asked if he could wear slippers instead, and they just don't shoot his legs.

Okay. George Lucas was like, sure, Peter Cushing. That's fine. You're Peter Cushing. Yeah. Yeah. As a result, there is no footage of Peter Cushing's legs in Star Wars as Grand Moff Tarkin.

So apparently the CGI people had the most trouble creating his legs and how they move. Because everything else, they're just replicating his performance as best they can. And it is kind of, you know, it's got that Uncanny Valley real doll kind of thing where he even does this sort of little eye twitches that Peter Cushing does,

but obviously it's CGI. It's like they copy-pasted micro-expressions from other scenes. But the legs? Brand new, baby! Those are brand new legs! And credit where credit's due, his legs are great in this movie. Good legs! Good legs. Much better than Chris Pratt's in Passengers. Not to bring up Passengers, but

his weird, bloated calves. It looks like he's smuggling oranges at the back of his legs. Really? than Chris Pratt's in Passengers. Not to bring up Passengers, but his weird, bloated calves. It looks like he's smuggling oranges at the back of his legs. Really? Do you think he was getting ready for Guardians or something? I don't know. Something weird's going on there. And so his body was in some sort of a mid-workout kind of transformative period. He looks odd.

Yeah. Credit where credit's due, though. Andy Garcia is great in Passengers. Oh, my God. He's so shocked. He's so good. No spoilers, because we know our listeners haven't listened to it, but wait until you see Andy Garcia in Passengers. Oh my god, he's so shocked. He's so good. No spoilers because we know our listeners haven't listened to it, but wait until you see Andy Garcia in Passengers. It's the performance of the year. No spoilers,

but he's fifth billed for a reason. So, yeah, what do you think? Other thing, I did not know about this at all. Did you know about this before? I knew because after all our critic friends saw the movie with you. No, I'm saying before that. No, before that? No, I knew. I didn't know. I then googled around and saw it's actually been much discussed. There was one trailer shot where there was from behind what appeared to be Tarkin.

And there was an actor they hired to play Tarkin in Revenge of the Sith who has main scenes cut out but can be seen in the background who they put a distracting amount of makeup on to try to look like Peter Cushing, right? right right it was just a bad makeup job not that they couldn't be done but they did it poorly and so i assumed it was like that that someone was playing young tarkin or i assumed that you only would see tarkin from behind right i thought very briefly i thought they were going to do that i didn't know he did it a lot and then i was like maybe they haven't do one scene no he's got like six or seven some then I was like, maybe they have him do one scene. No, he's got like six or seven scenes. Some people think this is some kind of a moral outrage.

He's credited in the film as like special thanks to the family of Peter Cushing. Yeah. I don't know who did the voice. I guess it's Charles Dance. It's weird that the voice is uncredited. They have some credit as his body double, but like someone had to read all that dialogue. Yes. Like a lot of dialogue.

I think it was Charles Dance. Do you really literally think it was? I do, yeah. Interesting. Pretty sure. Sounded like him and he's good at it and you know, blah, blah, blah.

I don't find it to be a moral outrage. I do find it to be deeply creepy and unsettling. And the thing is, Charles Dance probably could have played Grand Moff Tarkin

in this movie. I would have just put a little bit of makeup on Charles Dance and gone, this is Grand Moff Tarkin. You know, George Lucas in Revenge of the Sith, there Moff Tarkin in this movie. I would have just put a little bit of makeup on Charles Dance and gone, this is Grand Moff Tarkin. You know, George Lucas in Revenge of the Sith, there's a Tarkin. He's played by a different actor.

I just said this. Oh, right, you just said it, yeah. But he doesn't talk. Right. And I think they shot some stuff of him talking and decided not to use it. I think this is an interesting direction for movies in general, sort of like a Lego movie-esque thing

where you just have a bunch of dead actors and throw them all in something together. It's just the toy box. Yeah, you can revive anyone. It's got Humphrey Bogart and an elf. What? Sky Captain has Lawrence

Olivier. This is a trick people have been trying to pull a while. But Lawrence Olivier is a big hologram head. You don't have to have scenes where he's interacting with other people as a person. You know what I'm saying? Laurence Olivier in that film is all through archival footage or stuff like that, even though they have new dialogue for him. And they do the same thing with

Brando in Superman Returns, but it's once again a big hologram head. It's almost like you're just watching a screen. Right. I think to put him in a scene like this is weird because Ben Mendelsohn who is such a behavioral actor when you're cross-cutting between a close-up of a cgi peter cushing and ben mendelsohn it's like oh right that's what a performance looks like when it's like someone just making organic choices and responding in the moment and then it goes to peter cushing the cgi peter cushing whole time I'm, A, there's not one scene in the film,

one shot in the film of this character where I'm not thinking like, I guess it's pretty well done. Like I'm not engaging with what he's saying as much because I'm like, oh, his mouth looks weird, but the eyes are pretty good. Like I'm just kind of judging it at every moment.

And then the other thing is, it's just not a real performance. Like they're so boxed in by trying to replicate what he would do. It's an imitation. It's like a fax. Yeah, it's like the Fab Four playing Beatles songs and you're like, oh that guy kind of looks like Ringo. You know? I think it was kind of a bad

choice. I would have only done it for like one scene to bridge the gap. I would have had him come in at the very end. I think having him interact that much with Ben Mendelsohn is a big mistake. I agree. Let's move on. Let's move on. Darth Vader. It's great in this movie. It's really, really good. Think he does a good job?

Yeah, I'm glad they gave Hayden some work. It was nice to see him back in the suit. It'd be funny if it was actually Hayden in the suit. I was really hoping. No, it's like some tall guy. Three people are credited with the body of Darth Vader. Obviously James Earl Jones distills the voice. Someone made a joke recently where he's like, do you think they just have locked him in a room

and they just read every word in the dictionary and a bunch of made-up ones? Odd fuck. Some interesting stuff we learn about Darth Vader. He lives in Mordor, I think? Yes. In Sauron's old tower. They brought it back.

Yeah, he likes to hang out in a milk bath. Yeah, he sleeps. Actually, that was kind of cool. I love that. Yeah, he's in his little... It's kind of like the thing Luke's in in The Empire Strikes Back. What's it called? Not the Bacta tank or something like that.

No, that's it. Bacta tank. You see him very, very briefly. You see his little limbless body. He's got little arm stubs. The implication I got was that that tower is on Mustafar. That was my reading. Ooh, felt kind of Mustafari.

It's a lava planet. Yeah. I know from my extensive reading of Wikipedia that Mustafar has a lot of dark side magic there, so that he and the Emperor like to go there all the time just to chill out. He's great in this movie he's a good he's a good guy i mean he's a good uh he's one of my best friends darth vader and i think he did a good job in this film um he gets angry at krennic and he's like you know fucking take care of it i'm darth vader i don't have time to fuck around with this yeah uh it's a brief appearance but he's good yeah that seems good what do you think of the pun

be careful not to choke on your ambitions or whatever. Yeah, it's fine. Jordan Hoffman, who I love, good friend, ran up to me. He was just running around after the screening.

He was just like, that pun! What a pun! He loved the pun. He does a force choke and that's cool and that's probably my favorite bit of fan service

in this movie. There's some fan service in this movie. There's even some Easter eggs. I don't like the fucking shit when they're on the planet at the beginning in Jedha and they run into fucking Ponda Baba and what's his name? You know what?

There was the point where they bump shoulders and like out of focus in the corner of the frame, you could tell it was that guy. Why am I forgetting his name? The dude with the weird face. I don't like you either. Yeah, I don't know his name either. I can't remember his name. Yeah.

The fucked up face guy. I was fine with it. Dr. Elzar or something like either. Yeah, I don't know his name either. I can't remember his name. Yeah, the fucked up face guy. I was fine with it. Dr. Elzar or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was fine with it when he just walked by in the frame

and then when they had to cut to him turning around and being like, watch yourself, then it was like too much. Like, I'm fine if he's just kind of in the peripheries

but when they cut to fucking C-3PO and R2-D2 being like, why doesn't anyone ever tell us anything? It's like, we know they exist at this point, you know?

Yeah, I agree. I didn't like that. Yeah, I think it was fine. What did you think of the 3PO-R2 shoutout? That's what I just said! But I mean, like, do you think it's just like, they're in everything, right? Is there a thing they haven't been in? No.

Like, they're even in, like, Star Wars Rebels, and like... Yeah, they're not in the Ewoks cartoon. They're not? Well, they're in Droids, because there were two different cartoon shows. Maybe they're in Ewoks. I'm gonna make a really embarrassing confession. I haven't watched all of Ewoks.

They're in, uh... All those dinner parties where I lie and go, oh yes, episode six of Ewoks. Yes, I've seen it. Do you think it's just some Lucasfilm mandate, almost like John Ratzenberger, where it's like, they gotta be in it. You gotta have a 3PO joke. Lucas's original idea was that the whole Star Wars story was through their eyes. Well, no.

His original idea was there was the Journal of the Wills, my friend. And his second idea was, all right right how about two funny droids his intention with the first movie was we're going to see this nine film saga through the eyes of the two lowest status characters yeah and it's a cool idea it's a cool idea and it's dropped immediately in empire strikes back they're just part of the journey that film is no longer from their eyes well in rogue one what if it was just rogue one was just through their eyes and the whole movie it was just them watching watching some ships leave and they're like, where are they going? And then that's the end of the movie. I'd love it if Rogue One was first person through C-3PO's eyes, literally.

It would be funny if even the prequels, like Lucas just had to labor to have R2 be there while Anakin and Padme are having sex and R2 is just sort of like sitting in the room. They need to have seen this firsthand. Otherwise they wouldn't know. They wouldn't be able to tell the room. They need to have seen this firsthand. Otherwise they wouldn't know. They wouldn't be able to tell the story. Is there any other Easter egg-y stuff? There was maybe one other one I'm forgetting.

Oh! I actually really like this. The inclusion of red and gold leader in the final battle. Oh yeah, that's cool. That's great. I think that's cool. Because one, you're not doing any cgi you're just scrubbing images from the old movies and just literally cutting to them right of just like oh this is gold leader you know like love that love that because of course they'd be there yeah and i love that red five gets blown up they specifically blow up red five so then it's like there's an opening yeah for luke to fill yeah you

know they're like he's like can i join and they're like oh which oh yeah red five yeah sure take red five you're red five uh a little disappointed by the lack of porkins once they started cutting in the old x-wing fighters would have been nice for a porkins shout out yeah because all we know of porkins is his his failure yes he that like he flies in and he's immediately like, oh my god! And he blows up. Would have been nice to see Porkins do some good work. It would have been nice if they just even over the radio went, like, Porkins, come in. And he's like, yeah, I'm not on this mission.

I'm taking lunch. Yeah, exactly. You see everyone running to their fighters. And you see him just sitting. And he's like, where's everyone going? And he's got a sub. I'm doing a Quiznos run. Anyone want anything?

He's still alive, William Hootkins, I believe. That'd be a hoot if he is. Boy. Negative five comedy points. Still alive. Still alive. So now the team's like... No, no, he's very dead.

Oh, okay. Died 11 years ago. The opposite of still alive? Okay. Very dead? Interesting. I saw him on the Broadway stage or the London stage. He was only 57 when he died to R.I.P. William Hootkins. Very dead? Interesting. I saw him on the Broadway stage or the London stage.

He was only 57 when he died to R.I.P. Wilkins. Is it possible you saw a ghost treading the boards? You saw him in a production of Blythe Spirits? Now the team becomes a team. And that's what happens. And they're like, look, we know where the blueprint is. They're already kind of a team. But now they're really unified and Jyn's like

okay fuck I'm in right that's Jyn's been sold on it they go to Yavin uh huh and that's where Jyn tries to be like come on guys

yeah Death Star plans you don't want to go get him right let's go to Scarif right she does like a shittier version of Rick Moranis' speech

from Little Giants yeah I think it's about as good as Rick Moranis' speech from Little Giants Rick Moranis' speech from Little Giants. I think it's about as good as Rick Moranis' speech from Little Giants. Rick Moranis' speech from Little Giants is really good. You've got Ian McElhaney, who's from Game of Thrones, playing General Daduna, or whatever that guy's name is. They sub in some actors.

Jan Dadana, or whatever. Jan Dadana, the guy with the big white beard. Yeah. His role in Star Wars is just like, he also is there and looking at the computer screen. Remember? Yeah. He's just like next to Leia I understand that Peter Cushing is very iconic but like why wouldn't you pull him on Mothma exactly it's the same thing

that's what I'm arguing here yeah and I know it's like the argument is like well this by the end of the movie the last time you see Tarkin it's supposed to be like you know fucking 12 hours before the start of Star Wars so like it has to look seamless but it's like but who gives a shit like doesn't just feel creepy. It dramatically doesn't work

anytime he's on screen because you're just going like okay, well the head tilt that's interesting they got the head tilt right. The wrinkles are okay. You know you're like check listing off of what they did. His eye twitches. His eye really twitches. And so the Rebel Alliance

we see is you know it's not quite alliance-y the Rebel Alliance we see is, you know, it's not quite alliance-y at this point. It's still kind of fudgy. It's unalliance. Because I think the point is that it's after the Battle of Yavin, after this and the Battle of Yavin, that's when the Rebel Alliance is really like, oh, we can win this thing. Like, this is for real.

Like, you know, we can destroy the Empire. We're seeing the Rebel Alliance in their praying with anger, wide awake phase. is, we can destroy the Empire. We're seeing the Rebel Alliance in their praying with anger wide awake phase. Oh, very true. Very true. Yeah, Harvey Weinstein's still causing trouble. And they're like, I don't know if we can, should we even give up? From Planet Miramax.

Right. And then the weakness in the Death Star is M. Night's spec script for Sixth Sense. And they're like waving it around going like, there's a future. We're going to make something here. This is a tough metaphor. I think it tracks perfectly. So then, yeah, the second half of the movie is like. Well, not, yeah.

It is the second half. Yeah, so they say no, but Jyn and Cassian and a few others, you know, the team plus more, decide fuck it. We're going to go anyway. Get these plans. And then the second half is just one big battle.

Yeah. At the planet of Scarif. Right. The tropical planet of Scarif. Which I had a hard time engaging with. I'm so sorry. It's fine. It's fine.

I'll be okay. And it really does have that links in a chain idea where it's like every person has a little thing to do that kind of passes to the next thing. has a little thing to do that kind of passes to the next thing. Like, Bodhi has to transmit

this message to take down the shield gate because then we can get you these plans. Yeah. He does it. You know,

he like, gets this big wire that he like, runs around and he plugs it into something, you know. A lot of wire work

in this movie. It's some good wire work. Yeah. I mean, Donnie Yen, hey, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon,

Sword of Destiny. He wasn't in the first one but he popped up. Bodhi delivers the message literally one second later he dies. Yeah. He blows up.

K2SO has to work some console and then he's like she's helping him get the plans. Right. That's a decent scene. Yeah.

His death. I like how understated that is almost. scene. Yeah. His death. I like how understated that is almost. Yeah. Oh that's probably my favorite joke in the movie is when they're fighting and Jyn Orso is just like shooting around and then

K2SO like pops up behind her and she accidentally shoots him in the head and the audience is like oh fuck. Yeah. And then he pops up and it was like oh no that was an actual Imperial droid. Right. It's just good. Because the idea of Kate, do we say this? The idea of him is he's a reprogrammed Imperial droid. Right, which is cool.

But then he's like, how did you know that wasn't me? Yeah, it's a good joke. Good joke. He's funny. He's funny. I thought he was funny. I did, too. I like him.

Ha! It worked. My evil plan worked. And I like Assured Emway's final stand I mean he does the like that's great

I am strong with the force I feel the force what was this thing he keeps saying I'm strong with the force the force is with me I'm pretty sure the father

the son the holy ghost like he's like just repeating it over and over again methodically and Baze Malbus is like are you fucking kidding me

like I have one job it's to keep you alive and you're literally walking into the line of fire I am one with the force the force is with me his job is he has to throw this switch so that they can send the signal he does it successfully he dodges all the lasers he does it then he gets you know shot or blown up

and there's this moment I found kind of touching where Baze Malbus is like I didn't believe in this shit but right it's great one with the force the force is one with meaze Malbus is like, I didn't believe in this shit. Right. It's great. I'm one with the force. The force is one with me. And he's just like, it's in a time like this you need to believe in something.

You know? You need to believe in a higher power. Like, he saw it fail for his friend. But, like, that's why religion exists to present a moral compass in times of great moral uncertainty. Right. And to make you feel like there is a plan in an otherwise chaotic world. And it is chaos. I mean this whole

battle scene is utter chaos. Yes. And I like that the film. And it's good chaos. You feel it like you know it feels messy

and fucked up. I like that the film presents the force and the idea of the Jedi. You're so grudging. As that kind of thing. Yeah.

No I like that a lot. Because at this point it's like you know when we hear about religion today we're like yeah but those guys back in 1800s they claimed they were like talking to Jesus and shit. Right.

And now you don't hear modern accounts of that unless it's like, you know, immediately discounted as like, oh, this lady thinks her toast is Jesus or whatever. But in this movie, it's like the Jedi. That one was true. The toast was Jesus. The Jedis for them are like that. It's like the Jedis are like, yeah, there are these guys like 60 years ago who like seemed really in touch with the Force. Yeah right.

Right no I mean the Force Awakens is playing in that pool as well obviously. Yeah. I just like. Yeah. No I mean the

Jung-Wen's death scene both of their death scenes Donnie Yen and Jung-Wen's death. Well done. They're great. Yeah. And again you're

yeah you're seeing him die. Yeah you see K-2SO die. Jyn Orso and Cassian Endor are dressed up like imperial officers they've snuck on they're going through a computer system it's all true they're in like a

giant like like wi-fi router building yeah and it's sort of like that new thing that a lot of best buy stores have have you seen this where you just type in like i want a copy of have you seen this no there's like the best to a best buy in a while. The Best Buy 23rd and 6th has this where you like search and you're like, who framed Roger Rabbit on Blu-ray? And then there's this big wall. It's like a giant vending machine. Oh my God. And this robot arm like scans across and pulls Roger Rabbit out. So you don't have to like go through shelves.

So it's just a bigger version of like a candy machine. Yeah, it's a huge candy machine. It'd be funny if it was a candy machine. Like if the drama in Rogue One was like they punch it and then like the little rings turn but, it's a huge candy machine. It'd be funny if it was a candy machine. Like, if the drama in Rogue One was like, they punch it and then the little rings turn, but then it's stuck and they have to like, bang it. It's the size of, it's like a whole wall, and they're

doing that. They're trying to like, locate the thing. Yeah, and they do. And it's called Stardust. But I like that they can't turn. It's a copy of Stardust. Matthew Vaughn's Stardust on DVD. Absolutely. I mean, like, K2SO, Galen Erso, huge fan of Robert De Niro's work in that movie.

It's an underrated performance. But yeah, so they, you know, they get this plan, they climb up the tower, and Orson Krennic finds them and he's chasing after them. He's like, you're going to lose. And she's like, I'm not going to lose. So, and I don't, I will say,

I don't like some of the more video gamey business especially where she's like let's transmit the plans it's like real line satellite dish like this isn't a marvel movie we don't need business this movie felt very video gamey to me matt patches uh former guest was uh talking about that with me as we left he was like this is like star wars battlefront the movie felt like watching someone play battlefront and I'm like, these are exquisitely rendered worlds. I like the conflict within it. And he's a good action director, Gareth.

Certainly. I mean, there are few... He's a good scale, big scale director. Few people have a better grasp on how to create a sense of scale and terror from that

than Gareth Edwards. I think the sequences are great. Star Wars is one of my favorite aesthetic sandboxes in the history of pop culture. You know? I think the film are great. Star Wars is one of my favorite aesthetic sandboxes in the history of pop culture. I think this film does a really good job of approximating the 70s visuals and modernizing them without feeling anachronistic. Nice and dirty.

And yeah, they get in the weird grainy CRT video look of the binoculars and stuff. The low res wireframe shit behind them. Yeah, like I like all of that. And I like the archetypes, you know? Like even Darth Vader's Darth Vader? I said it wrong, I know. But Darth Vader's buttons, right? Yeah. It's almost

just like cute now for me. I'm just like aw, that's... It's cute. That's a nice little reminder. And I like that Darth Vader's eye lenses... What do you think the buttons do? Do they serve coffee or poop button? I think it's a poop button. He can't hear.

He has to turn the volume up. And one's a poop button. Yeah. Of course. Coffee, poop, volume. Those are the three switches. I like that his lenses were red in this, which they are in the original Star Wars,

and then they were corrected to black after that. Anyway, I just... Emotionally, I felt like watching someone play a video game in this, which they are in the original Star Wars, and then they were corrected to black after that. Anyway, I just, I emotionally, I felt like watching someone play a video game in this movie, and I was like, this looks like a great fucking game. I'd love to play it. I think that's a fair criticism. I disagree with you, but I get it. Yeah. That was my problem.

But I was emotionally involved. Okay. We should also mention, too, that while this, the plot is unfolding on the planet, they're sort of cutting between to the space area just above the planet, they're sort of cutting between to the space area just above the planet. Right, and there's a moment that, Ben, I know you flipped out over where we see a bunch of ships arrive at once from

hyperspeed. Oh, that was so good. It was so well executed. It's like they just suddenly pop in and it's like oh, all these guys are hyperspeeding at the same time and they all just got to their destination. There's some cool Imperial Star Destroyer on Star Destroyer battle. I mean, I love the ship

stuff. Right. This is all well executed. But at this point, I just wasn't invested. I was just watching this and I was like, like being in this world. I was invested. Great cast. I would be interested to hear, you know, if you do see it again, what you make of it a second time.

It's a Star Wars movie. I have to see it again. Sure. But Cassian Endor shoots Krennic, right? Which I liked. Cassian Endor, you know, Krennic shoots him and he falls down and you think, oh, is he dead? But obviously you're thinking, like, he's probably not dead. Right.

Although, I'll admit, you're thinking a little more maybe he is dead because you are at this point getting the sense like, I don't think anyone's going to make it. Right. Because Cushing's on this Death Star above, and he's getting ready to blow this whole thing up, which I also— Darth Vader's chilling in a milk bath. Darth Vader has been—they called his answering machine, and he's getting dressed. He's on a Quiznos run with Porkins. Then what were you going to say? Well, so maybe he—but yeah, he pops back up.

He shoots Krennic. Krennic, you know, falls. That's it. You know, there's not like some gigantic climactic battle here. No. You know, and also... And I don't think anyone's robbed

of a hero moment or a villain moment. No, but I think what's interesting about this film, and it only can be done in a movie like this that's slotting in between two books on a crowded shelf, is just that like the objective is kind of the character arc here.

Like the character arc of this movie is the plan. But I also think the objective is, like I said, like rebellion, right? Like it's like, you know, we're not just going to fold because it seems like you guys have all the cards, you know? Once all of them are serving- Like sure, you built a Death Star, fine.

And all our heroes in this movie are serving a larger purpose, which is like, we're almost definitely not gonna make it out. Like I said, links in a chain, baby. Right, we just gotta get this thing done. We just gotta get this to the finish line. But I also love the idea

that they have been so disruptive that they are forcing the Empire to use its Death Star on its own base. This is an Empire base with all their fucking archives and shit. Yeah. And, I mean, the nice little irony is Orson is done in by his invention. That shot of the Death Star rising over the planet is pretty cool.

Yes. And then that shot of Orson kind of staring it down as he knows what's about to happen. And that's a nice bit of callousness from Tarkin where he's like, looks like this is compromised. Blow the whole thing up. Here's another big sacrifice they make by blowing it up, okay? Sure.

Originally, the clone troopers, a lot of different variations, colors, this and that. Then they start, they take on the new Stormtrooper design. They're like, whole new brand overhaul, Stormtrooper. Here's what it looks like. Here's the basic, and then here's some extended model. I see where you're going. Death troopers, Scarif Sandtroopers. Sandtroopers in basic. And then here's some extended model. I see where you're going. Death Trooper. Scarif Sand Trooper. Sand Trooper's in brown.

His stretch is a blue and brown. All the other variation suits were seemingly on this one base. They all die. So that they wipe them out and then they're like, fuck, now we got to just stick with the basic white. I know that. The entry level model. I know that with these movies, there's always someone who's like, well, there's toys, right?

There'll be some toys, right? Yeah. And so there's this someone who's like well there's toys right there'll be some toys right yeah and so there's this half-hearted effort what's it is it a v-wing or a u-wing or something some kind of yeah and there's a tie striker there's the tie striker you see like one of these on each side like there's like a little bit but like not enough where it would be like then you'd be like hey where did the fucking the v-wings? They were useful. It's a U-Wing. U-Wing. Where are those U-Wings at when you're attacking the Death Star? It's like, bad news.

They only made two of them. That was the prototype. And if it went well, they were going to make more. And then they destroyed the prototype. But so, I mean, I understand, again, someone out there is just like, toys, though. Yeah. We need new ships. Death Trooper?

New ships. And the Death Troopers look very cool. I like them. They're like the ss or whatever right too bad they don't exist anymore r.i.p r.i.p it's probably good actually i think the death troopers are bad uh not like as people yeah i think they're bad people yeah yeah that was my merchandise spotlight sure and uh you know And I like this final moment of Jyn and Cassian. It's great. Deep impact. Yeah. There's nothing they can do.

They just stare off into the horizon. He says, like, your father would have been proud of you. Yeah. They don't kiss. They kind of hold each other. I love the death, though, because you don't see them get blown up. You just see them get enveloped by light. Very good.

I agree. I like that a lot. And then you cut to a pretty, in my opinion, terrific, and in your opinion, not. I really disliked this. Right. Terrific scene of essentially like the last minutes, which is like they get the plants. They put it on the disc drive. The guys with those dorky white hats are running.

Oh, I liked all of this. It was just literally the last moment. You didn't like Leia. And I like that they do kind of the setup of what becomes the opening of Star Wars, where it's just like Darth Vader's going to do this series of, like, breaking through doors with all the guys standing at the other end. Right. With their guns ready.

Yes, they do. But it's even more nightmarish because the lights all go out. Right. And then he ignites his lightsaber. He starts just tearing into pieces. I love how easy it is for him. Like, he's like, oh, yeah, all right, sure. There was a moment where I thought they were going to end the movie.

And I like storytelling symmetry, right? There was a moment where I thought they were going to end the movie on the Rebel Troopers waiting with the gun, which I thought would have been really cool. Could have been cool, but... I like all of this stuff, though. But, you know, as Vader is just murdering these people, one of them, like, squeezes through a little crack in the door and, like, someone else grabs the thing. They get on a ship.

The ship blasts out of the bigger ship. It's the Tantive IV. Love that ship. Again, we see that hot, hot white hallway. So white. And this gets the most important thing we have to discuss on the show. Oh, Mr. Smith? Yeah.

I mean, he's not on the Tantive, unfortunately. But we have both the Smith ship and Smith. Yeah. And I'll say, this movie has great design, right? Yeah. But still, when we get to the interior of that ship yeah i'm like you are the best looking thing in the entire movie you're like this david and i it was like we had just both uncorked a bottle of coca-cola took a sip and went fizzing all green and blue

tantafour tantafour blasts out of there. Someone hands the disc over to Leia. You see Leia from reverse. And then you see one mostly sort of still shot of her. You know, like her character doesn't move much, which is to me why the CGI looks better. They go, what is this? And she goes, it's hope. What have they given us? And she says, it's hope.

And then like literally like directed by Gareth Edwards. Like, you know, that's it. That's the last line. There's this idea of it being rushed. It's not, I think that it's very intentional. Like this, you know, like. No, I think it's the right. Finally like the, you know, that's it. That's the last line. There's this idea of it being rushed. It's not, I think that it's very intentional. Like this, you know, like. No, I think it's the right. Finally, like, you know, you've been watching, like, the fuse get lit and finally, like, it's sort of, you know.

I think it's the right last line. I wouldn't have showed her face. I think the CGI is a lot less unforgiving on her than Tarkin. Again, because she doesn't move. Has a bunch of wrinkles. So it's easier to, like, texturize that. Whereas with her, they're trying to make it a very young person with a very smooth face which makes it look more plasticky and i think they

are trying to get a more complicated expression out of her even though it's just for one moment sure because all tarkin has to do is just kind of like stand there and look disapprovingly like it's his neutral face it's like his his resting Tarkin face, right? But this, it's like the sly little half smile. And I think it looks creepy and uncanny. I disagree. Yeah, it was cool. I think maybe it visually, yeah. We know, right, it's CGI.

But it gave me goosebumps, right? And movies are supposed to make you feel things, and I felt good. The ending itself gave me goosebumps. The line itself gave me goosebumps. The line itself gave me goosebumps. I wish they had had her deliver it with her back turned to the camera. Disagree, I liked it just fine. Okay. Let's talk about Jimmy Smits.

And now, you've been waiting. Ladies and gentlemen. Passengers. No, Jimmy Smits. Jimmy Smits in Passengers? No. Could have been that. Or maybe. Hisith's in passengers no could have been more maybe his spirit's in it uh write in if you

found we hid one jimmy smith's in passengers a la where's waldo and if you find it we'll send you a free blank check blanket yeah so jimmy smith's he first shows up at an earlier scene in at yavin four right where they're all just talking and then suddenly he just kind of leans in like to the to the computer desktop and they're like Bill do you have anything to say and he's like oh no no sorry I just want to listen go on and the music kind of swells and Griffin would like turn to me and then they cut and Griffin was like

a Christmas morning face like I was so excited I was like the Nintendo 64 kid and then I cut away and you went don't worry don't worry yeah and you gave me a sort of what the fuck and I sort of gave you a no alright there's more there's more smits's more Smiths. He gets a Smiths moment. He gets a good scene.

He gets solo card billing. He does. What was he like? Probably like ninth or tenth billed. I think like eighth. The billing, I believe, was Felicity Jones. Diego Luna. Diego Luna.

Ben Mendelsohn. Ben Mendelsohn. Alan Tudyk. Donnie Yen. Oh, Donnie Yen, then Tudyk. Alan Tudyk. Then Mads Mikkelsen. No, no, no, no.

Mads Mikkelsen, then Alan Tudyk. Oh, interesting. I'm pretty sure Mads was fifth. Mads got pretty high billing. Yeah, yeah, heyk. Alan Tudyk. Then Mads Mikkelsen? No, no, no. Mads Mikkelsen, then Alan Tudyk. Oh, interesting. I'm pretty sure Mads was fifth. Mads got pretty high billing. Yeah, yeah, he did. He was in Doctor Strange. Doctor Strange, though. Riz Ahmed.

Yeah. With Jung-Wen. He got the with. Yeah. And Forrest Whitaker. There's a Smits in there. But Smits is, I think, after Riz Ahmed. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah, and was there a James Earl Jones as the voice of Darth Vader? And James Earl Jones, right. Those are the people who get their own billing, though. And then probably some split cards for like Genevieve O'Reilly. Yeah, she got a split. I think she got a two or a three. There's, you know, there's some other people.

Now, Griffin, do you remember how we got excited because we thought we had cited a favorite character from the prequels. Oh, my God. But the head was a little bit of a different design. There was a moment in a crowded scene, I think when they're on the planet where they have to do the jail escape,

where I saw the most lovely, taut, slender, protocol droid body in sleek silver. Sure. And I grabbed Ben's arm and I went, no, no, no. They're going to fucking do it. And it pans up and it's got this weird oblong head. Hey, man. No TC-14. As we know, although you will not admit it, TC-14 perished when the Trade Federation ship was blown up.

Come on. Didn't happen on screen. It's not canon. I don't care what the fuck you say. She's still alive. I know it. You need a literal shot of her going like, as the shit blows up around her.

And I need a doctor checking her pulse and going, she's gone. She's a robot. She could breathe in space, or she doesn't have to breathe. Maybe she floated and made her way home. True. Even Kate Tosso has a joke about that.

She's alive, just like both my grandparents. They're just taking long naps in their graves. Oh. I didn't see them die, so I just know they're in a box. They're just taking a nap in a box. That's fine. People do that. We're almost done here.

Yeah. But let's do a performance review just to sort of boost. Oh, no. Should we do any more Smith's talk? Do the box office? Yeah. It seemed to open well on Thursday night. I think it's going to make like 180.

Yeah. Yeah. It's going to do well. Yeah. It's going to do more like big movie well not like Force Awakens oh my god

colossal world stopping event world. Smith's is really good in this. I like his scene. I do too. Essentially the scene where Mon Mothra

takes him aside and she's like remember that journey? He's like oh yes. He served me in the Clone Wars. And he's like I know exactly where to hide this.

I know who to give this to. I'll send for him. And she's like you gotta trust this person. He served me in the Clone Wars. And he's like, I know exactly where to hide this. Like, I know who to give this to. I'll send for him. And she's like, you got to trust this person. He's like, I would trust her with my life. Yeah. He gives a sort of a, but also he's going to Alderaan. Yes. To sort of say, you know, and that's too bad.

He's like, I'll hand the things over and then I got to take a quick vacation in Alderaan. We know what's going to happen on Alderaan. What happens in Alderaan? He gets blown up by the Death Star. Are you sure it's not just taking a nap in the grave? Might be. We'll see. So it is, I almost wish Momothma was like, nah, don't go to Alderaan.

He's like, you're right. And then he wasn't dead. That would be great if the movie established that everyone thought that Bail Organa was an Alderaan, and then once it blew up, he was like, oh, this is a chance to reinvent myself. And she was like, you know what? Just opened a bar. Don't go there. Right. And then in episode eight, he's like, you, this is a chance to reinvent myself. And she was like, you know what? Just opened a bar. Don't go there.

Tattooing. And then in episode eight, he's like, you have just like incredibly old smits. He's like, hey, guys. Yeah. I changed my name to Jack Smoke. He's got like a gray suit and sunglasses. I own a tapas place. An outer rim tapas place.

Yeah. But he's really good in this. He looks great. It's really interesting because this is like the first time they've really embraced, well, I mean, it's only the second movie in the Kathleen Kennedy thing, but they're really embracing the prequel stuff. Not fully, but like, you know, just saying like, we're not going to pretend that the guy-

We're not going to shy away from them. You know? We got Jeremy O'Reilly. We got Jimmy Smith. He's dressed the same way. We got the kyber crystals and shit like that. It's all kind of, they're tying the room together. In that way, this movie

feels more like a statement of intent than a movie in and of itself. It's just like, get ready, Star Wars movies are going to start being different types of things now. So here's a template for what it could be. Here's some well-realized battles. Here's some answers to some questions

previously. We're going to do like a star court you. Here are some answers to some questions previously. We're going to do like a star court movie. Yeah. I want to give Ben his little soapbox just because Ben loved the movie so much and we've been talking so much. I've been saying a lot of negative things or just, you know, middling things. I'd love to let Ben argue his case for the movie. Okay, listeners, guys, this is what you, you know, want from a star wars movie right you want to sort of feel like excited for the universe feel like a kid again be immersed in it right and it never has looked better than i feel like this movie does i love the the characters uh like just the designs

i love like getting lost in and and yeah the different planets um i got excited i i got sad i didn't feel like i was bogged down by again the mythology the like you know the silliness of han solo's son and all this other silly crap from awakens like it was just sort of straightforward here's some badass people are gonna do some badass shit well put ben uh i i will certainly see this movie a second time and i i hope i i liked it more now yeah i actually uh this leads me to uh you know my classic segment which is on the record with ben your classic yeah it's a classic but wait i thought on the record had to be for when like it's for the future episode i'm making I'm making a prediction for future episodes. Let's hear what he's going to say.

Okay. I predict Griffin's going to see this movie probably not even just once, but twice. Okay. So at least by the third viewing, he's going to fucking be obsessed with this and completely change his mind about it. Interesting. Look, it's happened before. Oh, it's going to happen again. First time I saw Ratatouille, it was probably my second least favorite Pixar movie.

And now it's in the top three for me. You know? That's crazy. Why was it your least favorite? I don't know. I saw it and I was like, that's fine. When I saw Ratatouille, I literally burst into tears, which I don't usually with Pixar movies. Tears, what's weird, I felt kind of disengaged from that movie, but cried at the moment when

Anton Ego says he's the best chef in Paris Paris because I like when people achieve their dreams. But then I saw it the second time and I was like, oh shit. And now literally every time I see the movie it gets four times better than it was the previous time. Movies have grown on me, especially in franchises or with creators that I'm very connected to and their expectations tied to it. I don't think I was overloading this movie, but I don't

people take a couple times for me to connect. Maybe it's just not my Star Wars movie. I'd like to note that I made a face. David made a really, he made like a face that made me look stupid. It was like a face. I don't know how to describe it other than it was like a- Did you say that it cut you to the core? It cut me to the core.

It cut straight to the bone. Ben? I like that there's no cute bullshit in this movie. Yeah, even the little guys were tough. Yeah, they were shooting at stuff. It's not a cute movie. And you're like, yeah. It's not a cute bullshit in this movie. Yeah, even the little guys were tough. Yeah, they were shoving at stuff. It's not a cute movie. You're like, yeah. It's not a cute movie.

Bad ass. I'll admit, when we were exiting, I mean, no, no. I'll admit it. I'll say, when we were exiting the press screening, Esther and Richard were like, they're all dead. And after some of my coworkers at The Atlantic, who have young children who like Star Wars, but are like six or seven, were like, can you see Rogue One?

And I was kind of like, man, you know, I know they want. Depends on the kid. Depends on the kid. On the one hand, yeah, because it's the new Star Wars, so they should probably see it because I feel like everyone's seeing it. On the other hand, this is not really a movie for six-year-olds. Also, I don't know if they'll love it. Don't know if they'll love it, although it does have lasers in it. Also, it's not for them. It's our movie. No it does have lasers in it. Also, it's not for them.

It's our movie. No, every movie's for everyone, Ben. No, it's not. Come on. Stop. We're going to get another fucking Jar Jar if you think that way. Ben is right that this movie was made only for Ben. True.

It was Ben's movie, and it does say at the end of the movie, dedicated to Ben Hosley, a.k.a. the producer. Which was weird, and they knew all my nicknames, too. Of course they did. When they asked. Kathy loves this podcast. Kathy emailed and was just like, what are his nicknames? Just write them out for me. They've got to add Dirtbike Benny, though, because I like that one,

and I feel like maybe when they release it physically, right? She'll add it in for Rogue, too. One of my coworkers said that his kid was pretty upset because he had recently watched Liam Neeson die in The Phantom Menace, and I was like, man, if that got to him, I don't know. You want to lose 10 friends at once? All right. So.

Performance review? You want to do? I mean, I just feel like we're going to pass everybody, right? You know what? Let's try it. The fans like it. Let's try it. Felicity Jones.

I mean. You can give her a fail. I don't think the character works, but I don't want to blame that on her. You can blame it on whoever. I think she's a good actress. She holds a frame well, you know? I think she's got an amazing emotional reserve. I heard some people complaining about her performance.

I just, I think it's, her character feels the one that was most... Pass or fail? I'd give her a very, very soft fail. Alright, I give her a pass. Tiebreaker? Of course pass. Great. That's why this will be fun. Diego Luna? Soft pass, but once

again, I think it's the character. He was limited in how much he could do with it. And just to be clear to our listeners, pass in this means good. They get a pass in grade. Or a fail. We like to make things as confusing as possible. Diego Luna, pass.

Alan Tudyk. What, Ben? Oh, no, you only heard the tiebreaker. You're distracting the rules of the performance room. Oh, right, right. I forgot. I'm sorry. Alan Tudyk.

A pass. Definitely. Definite pass. Yeah. Donnie Yen. A hard pass. Hard pass. Again, that's why it's so weird, because that usually means that you're rejecting something.

No, that's the joke. Jiang Wen. Wen Jiang. Space Nobles. I mean, pass. Again, that's why it's so weird, because that usually means that you're rejecting something. No, that's the joke. Jiang Wen. Wen Jiang. Space Nubles. I mean, pass. You know, I'm tempted to give him a hard pass just because I like the character so much. It's not like it's an amazing performance. I think it's a great performance.

Cool fucking guy. Great gun. Good jumpsuit. I like him. I think it's great. Ben Mendelsohn. Amazing name. A hard pass.

Yes. Great actor. One of our finest. Forrest Whitaker. Hard pass. Maybe my favorite performance in the movie. Interesting. Weird. Me too, but not my favorite, but pass. Yes. Great actor. One of our finest. Forrest Whitaker. Hard pass. Maybe my favorite performance in the movie. Interesting. Weird.

Me too, but I mean, not my favorite, but pass. Riz Ahmed. Hard pass. I read an interview with him where he said that he felt like they were asking about developing the character and he was like, well, the character I ended up playing was different than what I originally was playing. It feels like the movie kind of forgets him at a certain point. There's more to that character.

It feels like they're building up more of an arc that doesn't really... They don't quite get there. Right, but I think he's an excellent actor. Mads Mikkelsen. I give him a huge pass. I really love him, though. He is one of those actors for me where he could just read... Yeah, that's the thing. I give him a soft pass, but it's just steady hand. It's a good hand behind the wheel.

Oh, who's this? This name's interesting to me. Jimmy Smits. The hardest of passes. Alright, now this is... You forget, this is the fun part of the performance review is after This name's interesting to me. Jimmy Smith. The hardest of passes. All right. Now, you forget, this is the fun part of the performance review is after the rain is gone. Yeah. Alistair Petrie. He plays General Draven. He's the guy who tells Cassian to kill.

He's sort of like the boss. Yeah, fail. You're going to fail him? I'm going to fail him. Well, Ali Petrie? What do You gonna fail him? I'm gonna fail him. Little Allie Petrie? What do you think, David? I liked him. Ben? He was a good rebel. Pass. Pass. Okay, fine. He was in, like, The Night Manager.

Come on. Come on, The Night Manager? Next, next. Genevieve O'Reilly. Pass. Pass. Yeah, I like her. Ben Daniels. He plays General Merrick. Is that the Mon Calamari? You know what?

It is. There's a jet black Mon Calamari in this film. Yeah. He's kind of like a totally different kind of Calamari guy. Right. So I'm on the record. Saw Gerrera is my favorite performance. Horace Whitaker.

This is my favorite character in the movie. Well, yeah. Do you have a Holy Trinity? Saw Gerrera. This guy in Baze Malbus. All right. No, Little Guy. Little Guy. Yeah.

I just don't know Little Guy's name yet. Yeah. I'm not sure we're going to learn Little Guy's name today. Yeah. Ian McElhenney, General Dodona. He's standing there. Big beard. Fail.

Wow. Beard wasn't big enough. Wow. I'll give him a pass. I'll give him a pass. I'll give everyone a pass. Ben? You're right. He got me with the beard.

Fail. Hey! James Earl Jones, voice of Darth Vader. Pass. Yeah, pass. Yeah. He's really got a grip on that one. We've talked about the story where he, for the first Star Wars movie,

they were like, they needed someone to do voiceover because it was originally going to be David Prowse as the voice and they went to him and he was like, had a gambling problem

and his career hadn't taken off and they were like, the film's like, we're- He was an Oscar nominee. Right, but he wasn't doing that well

at that moment and he was kind of cash strapped and the movie was kind of cash strapped. They were like, we don't have money left over. We could only pay you like $4,000. Uh-huh.

Or we can give you 1% of the movie. Uh-huh. And he was like, I need the money. $4,000 in hand. Jesus. James Earl Jones could have made like $300 million. I mean, I think he's doing fine. I think he's fine.

But he could have been, yeah. But it's a fun what if. Valaine Kane. She plays Lyra Erso, Jyn's mother. Oh, I liked her. Pass. Pass. Good at shooting a gun.

Pass. Bo Gadsden. She plays baby Jyn Erso. She also played young Princess Margaret this year on The Crown. Is that the character? Is the character named baby Jyn Erso? No, young Jyn. Okay, because I was going to fail her if it was a baby because she's older than a baby.

True. If she was attempting to play a baby, I was going to fail her if it was a baby because she's older than a baby. True. If she was attempting to play a baby, I was going to give her a fail. As it is, I think she's a good scared child. Pass. I agree. Daniel Mays, who is a Mike Lee veteran. He's in tons of Mike Lee movies. He was in Tintin as a pirate.

He's in stuff. He is the informant, Tivic. Who's Tivic? The informant that gets shot at the beginning of the movie Okay, I mean fail I just realized we've been going for a while Yeah, I think that's enough In conclusion

the performance review went really well and we're definitely going to keep it in the podcast great uh merchandise spotlight 90 of products you will buy in the next month have star wars on them merchandise spotlight you could buy literally anything you took a fancy to in this movie you like the wall yeah they got the wall yeah but also like when my fucking bathroom was broken recently and I had, like, construction workers coming by the other day, I found a bunch of empty Star Wars water bottles in my apartment. Okay. And it's not like these guys are Star Wars fans. They just went to a bodega and were like, what's the cheapest water you have?

And it's just got a fucking Star Wars label on it. That's good. Yeah, so have fun. All the merchandise in the world. I looked for anything weird and there's nothing. I couldn't find anything super interesting. Maybe I'll retcon this later. David's tired.

I'm a little tired. I'm hungry. I'm glad I ate before. I had some peanut noodles. I need to eat now. Thank you all for listening. Agreed. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe.

Yes, do do that. We'll be off for a couple weeks in terms of new episodes, but we'll be serving you a couple best ofs of the Star Wars era. Come January. Get back into those crazy episodes. Yeah, no, we're off for Christmas and New Year's, but then we'll be back, baby. We're going to have best ofs.

We're going to have split. Yeah. We're going to have the Blankie Awards. Yeah. Volume 2. And Pod Me If You Cast. Pod Me If You Cast. The films of Steven Spielberg in the DreamWorks era me if you cast the films of steven spielberg in the dreamworks

era will be starting at the end of january all right guys thanks that was fun rogue one good go see it yeah oh and let's do the necessary shout out uh i'm gonna mispronounce his name but dom simicola oh yeah absolutely uh who writes your pace magazine and recently named us humble brag best movie podcast of the year. Best movie podcast of 2016. It's a great honor. Got choked up reading that. Maybe that's why I was less emotionally invested in Rogue One because I'd already shed all my tears of pride.

Correct. But we're number one, baby. And to think it all started with a Twitter exchange. Watto? No. Okay. No Watto in this movie. Alright, let's go. No Watto.

True. He's dead. Problem. David. I haven't seen a body. That's fair. He's alive. He's alive and good. Good. I gotta pee. He's hanging out with my grandpa. Papa.

Grandma love. Rozzy. Okay. And as always, this podcast is, was, and forever shall be ProSmiths.

Good. This has been a UCB Comedy Production. Check out our other shows on the UCB Comedy Podcast Network.