Blank Check with Griffin & David - Singles

Episode Date: June 30, 2016

Griffin and David look to Crowe’s next film, 1992’s Grunge-tinged romcom Singles. But how realistically does this movie, set in Seattle, portray yuppie culture? Who the hell is actor Campbell Scott and why is he in a leading role? What’s with Producer Ben’s fascination with 90’s technology? Together, they examine making out with Paul Giamatti, various grunge musician cameos, “super” trains and terrible 90’s fashion. Also, a very special edition of Burger Report/Orange Twist Files.

I think that A, you have a podcast, and that B, not having a podcast is your podcast. Hello. Hi, everybody. I'm Griffin Newman. I'm Campbell Scott. No, I'm David Sims. And with us as always, we're the two friends. Wow, you really were jumping in.

We're the two friends, and this is a podcast. We're trying to move fast. Called WePodicast. WePodicast. What's going on there? Whoa, hot mic. I hit a chord there. Hot mic.

Which is about, this podcast is called Blank Check. WePodicast. We're starting late today, so we're trying to catch up. We're trying to make up for lost time. This podcast is called Blank Check. We here, the two friends, David Sims and I, like to talk about directors who have had big successes early on in their careers and spend the rest of their career-

Yeah, either cashing or bouncing their blank checks. Exactly. Colon, because this is a series made up of mini-series, we go director by director, cover the filmography, colon, we pod a cast. This is episode two about one Academy Award winner, Cameron Crowe, the first fetid filmmaker we have discussed on this show. Fetid? Fetid.

He was fetid with an Academy Award. Oh, I see. Of course. Yes, that's true. Fetid. But he hadn't won it yet when he made the film we're discussing today in 1992. Picture's called Singles. Singles!

And I'd say, in terms of baseball analogies, I'd say this is about a single. This is an on-base single. It's a single. Yeah, it's a little blooper. You know, that like maybe the shortstop kind of bobbles it and he sort of gets it to first base, but not quite on time. He got on base. And so it's like, yeah, oh. It's not a strikeout.

It's a golf clap. This would be far more impressive as a first movie. Yes. But if he'd made this as his first movie would cameron crowe have gone anywhere i don't think so maybe not it's just weird because this one feels a bit like a backtrack in his narrative i believe this was a bit of a you know this was kind of a down period like you know he had to sort of rebound from this movie well we'll get to this but i want to talk about the third person in the room right now of course we're hashtag the two friends but today has been brought to our

attention why aren't we referring to ourselves as the three buddies? No, no, we're the two friends. We're the two friends. But there is always also another friend. Because what's the title that is more impressive, carries more weight than a friend? If you really care about someone, you don't call them a friend.

You call them a producer. That's right. It's the highest honor you can bestow upon someone. Sure. Producer Ben, a.k.a. Purdueer Ben, a.k.a. the Ben-ducer, a.k.a. the Haas, a.k.a.

the Poet Laureate, a.k.a. Mr. Positive, a.k.a. the Peeper, a.k.a. Birthday Ben. It's actually my birthday on Friday. Hey. Hey now. Boom.

A.k.a. the tiebreaker. Once a year that really works. It really works. A.k.a. the fuckmastermaster That's right He is not Nor will he ever be

Professor Crispy Well who knows Please greet him With a hearty hello fennel If you see him on the street But also You should know That he graduates

To certain titles At the end of certain miniseries And he is now Festooned With badges Adorned on them Are the names producer ben kenobi kylo ben ben night shaw milan and bensate hearing that should make you want to dive into our back catalog and listen to all the reasons those names would have been created yeah Because in episode one, he was producer Ben. Done. It was only that.

Out of here. Woo. Yeah. Well, hey, guys. Hi. This is a movie we watched. We definitely watched this movie. Yeah.

We watched the movie. I watched it on a Sunday morn. Uh-huh. You know, it was an okay way to pass the hours between 8 and 10 a.m., somewhere around there. Might have been 9 and 11 a.m. This is a good shit-talking movie. I watched it with my roommates. Oh, and you were making fun.

I think Ben likes the movie less than us. I think so. Because this, to me, is like a three-star movie. What? No. No way. Two and a half. Three out of five or three out of four? Five.

I'm not Roger Ebert. I've made this joke before. I'm no Hallowell's film guide. So I saw this movie. I was trying to explain to a friend of mine last night because I told him we were talking about this tomorrow. And he is older. This movie has its fans. Yes.

So is this your friend? Is he a fan? Was it Joe Garden? It wasn't, although it was while doing my show with Joe Garden. My buddy Chris McCullough was at the show afterwards, and I was talking to him, and he was saying, like, I can't imagine that that movie would have any relevance to you, because, like, I grew up, like, I was the age of those characters

when that movie came out. Sure, right. And that felt like an important generational movie. And I don't even know what it would mean if you saw it, like, today, but I'll say my girlfriend had never seen it before. And I was like, I can't believe you've never seen Singles, so we rented it. Right, right. And he was like, this movie't believe I've never seen single. So we rented it. And he was like, this movie means fucking nothing to me now.

I mean, I can buy that this was the movie of a generation maybe, but even compared to Say Anything, it has no lasting cultural footprint. It's not like you hear a line in this movie and you go, oh, that's where that line comes from. And here's the thing. You see Dylan and you're like, oh, this is Dylan's best. Dylan at his best. Even bad Cameron Crowe movies usually have at least one classic Crowe line.

Yeah. You know? The Chili Dog line is my favorite line. Yeah. Yeah, but go on. There are a couple that come kind of close, but I was looking at the IMDb page for the quote that I was going to butcher into the intro of the show, and I was was like there are a lot of sort of equivalent level

quotes in this movie like you know like a okay like b minus quotes yeah but there's not like a sort of like stuck in your craw kind of line yeah and i chose that a1 because it felt like structurally i mean it was funny to be able to use the word podcast three times no you you did a good it was a good quote and honestly honestly, that's a decent line. And the format of that, it kind of was my favorite line. But I did, I mean, so I saw this movie for the first time when I was in high school. And I went through this weird Gen X phase. This is definitely trying to be like the Generation X movie.

But I think Reality Bites is probably more successful than this, right? Reality Bites, although that's not a movie that I love per se, is way more successful. It tapped into the thing. It's smarter. It's funnier. It's better acted. It has a story. This movie is a bunch of little jangly bits and pieces. Yeah.

It doesn't have much to say about anything. And I think. It doesn't have much to. Say anything about and I think... It doesn't have much to... Say anything about anything. Yeah. But I think that's the problem. It feels like Crowe's trying to just sort of write very broad, and doesn't have any of his weird original voice-y stuff in it.

Not enough, at least. So this movie was produced by Art Linson. Okay, who's that? Who produced Fast Times at Richmond High. Okay. And directed The Wild Side, The Wildlife. Is that what it was called? The one that was like the leftover stuff from Fast Times.

It was called The Wild Something, and I'll have more for you on that in a moment. So keep talking. Only 20 minutes from now, UCB's wireless network will start doing us some favors. Those are the wheels of the wireless turning. The steam starts to puff. He directed that forgotten Fast Times spiritual sequel.

And then if I understand correctly, I believe Crow wrote this screenplay immediately after that. Okay. After Fast Times? And The Wildlife or whatever it was called. So like in the mid-80s? Yeah. Okay. He wanted to make this right in the the mid 80s before say anything i think

this was originally going to be his debut film okay and they like couldn't get the financing for a while it was close to getting made it didn't da da da da and then after say anything when he had some sort of heat he was like oh the screenplay i wrote seven years ago we should make this sure and you know i mean it's not it's not an expense like once you made say anything like surely you can scrape the money together yeah and that and that movie was well-liked. Not a massive financial success. The budget for this one was $9 million, which is smaller than Say Anything.

And I think this makes a... Wildlife came out in 84. Wildlife. Art Linson, yes. I think this movie makes more sense as a first screenplay. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, sure. Or I know Fast Times was adapting his own book. No, no, no. Here's as a first screenplay. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes, sure. Or like, I know Fast Times was adapting his own book.

No, no, no. Like, here's your first original screenplay. Like, Cameron Crowe, you're going to try to make a movie. Here's your first strike. I think the mistake was after Say Anything, which is a far better work, to go back to this earlier thing he had, you know, on the show. It's kind of inconsequential.

People like this movie, though. I don't want to dismiss this movie. I do feel like it has that little core fan base that speak up for it. And I don't want to use Chris's words to speak for everyone, but he was sort of saying at the time when you were that age, watching that movie, when it came out, it felt like it was something. And watching it now, I'm aware that it didn't crystallize this thing as much. There are other films that are better time capsules. It kind of makes me think of this, watching this movie.

Remember Kurt Loder on MTV? Yes. Like, not a cool dude. Right? Objectively. And all the characters in this movie are super not cool, I would say,

for the most part. I guess, like, I don't know. We can get into it, but overall, I feel like it's just like a bunch of, like, really unhip,

like, young people that are supposed to be cool or something. They're, you know, proto yuppies mostly. But like that's the generation. That's what it's about. I mean, not to keep on comparing it to reality. No, man. There were punks.

Cyberpunk. The early 90s? Early 90s is like, yeah, it's post Reagan. Everyone's like, I'm going to go be a graphic designer. No, man, there's like cool zine culture, especially in the Pacific Northwest. Well, that's not what this is about. Yeah, no, this is not about that. They're talking about a bunch of fucking soon-to-be yuppie jerk-offs.

But when Cameron Crowe wrote the screenplay, the thing he was interested in- Cameron Crowe writes about yuppie jerk-offs. I just want to make that, like that is what he always writes about. Actually, you're right, though. That is Cameron Crowe's wheelhouse. When Cameron Crowe wrote the screenplay, apparently the whole thing was he wanted to try to capture this, like, scene that was emerging in Seattle. Yeah, the grunge scene. And, like, not the cool grunge scene, like the Pearl Jam grunge scene.

Right. But this was, like, mid-'80s into late-'80s. And when they started filming the movie, I mean, the sort of anecdote that explains the weird timeline of this movie was this movie took a while to get made. And then once they shot it, Warner Brothers didn't know how to release it. And they kept on a shelf for like over a year. Yeah, right. Because they didn't know what to do with it. And then suddenly Alice in Chains, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, they all hit.

Right. I mean, it's true. And like Eddie Vedder is in this fucking movie. And like all these people are in this movie. They shot this movie before Nevermind was released. Right. It's true. And Eddie Vedder's in this fucking movie and all these people are in this movie. They shot this movie before Nevermind was released. Right. And by the time they were finishing up the movie, they couldn't afford the rights to any of the tracks off of Nevermind anymore.

And the film ended up being released just in time to look like it was sort of cashing in on a wave when it was really like he was way before it and maybe wasn't as tapped into it as the public want. Like this film doesn't feel like it was made in the wake of a cultural movie. He's a music writer. Yeah. And it feels like he was just making a movie about a couple people he knew in Seattle

rather than like a movement, you know? Which he wasn't. That's my point. I mean, it's not held against him. No, but the music stuff in this movie is an afterthought. Yeah, which is weird. Matt Dillon's character movie is an afterthought. Yeah, which is weird. Matt Dillon's character is the biggest afterthought.

Yeah. He has no plot. Yeah. They try to conjure a plot about him like getting a bad review and like maybe his band's not gonna go anywhere

but there's no plot. But he's maybe the best performance? Oh, no, I don't think so. I wouldn't even put him in the top five.

Yeah, he did nothing for me. He's fine. See, I like him in this movie and I think the weird thing with this movie is, and this also feels like a relic of Crow in an immediate post-Fast Times phase, is that character feels

like a real Spicoli to me. Oh. Yeah, no. You know? I'm not saying he's as good as Spicoli, but I think there's a similar dynamic where it's like, okay, you got a couple straight characters, and then you got one guy who's a little more like- What does he do? He's got a funny vibe.

I don't agree. I think he's a flop if you're going to compare him to that guy, because he doesn't come in and change the movie at all. He doesn't do anything. I'm not saying he's anywhere near as good as Spicoli. I'm saying I think our character functions in a similar way within the film, but in a very muted way. Very muted.

Yeah, he's very muted. By muted, you mean it's on mute. There's no sound. I like him in this. I like him. I don't dislike him. I just think he's kind of doing like a, I'm a stoned guy. A little bit of an airhead performance.

Yeah, maybe I just like him. He like talks to the camera, but like only later. And you're like, whoa, whoa, he's talking to the camera now? But it opens with Keira Sedgwick talking to the camera. It does. I mean, I guess the idea is that there are four main characters, but he's the least fleshed out of the four. He's the one who doesn't have his own sort of inner life, it feels like.

Yeah, I mean, Fonda is also not. We'll get to her. But it's first bill. Yeah, it's weird. The billing is hard to make out. You're like, oh, is this an alphabetical? No, because Sedgwick's not. You're not like, well, is Campbell Scott's second bill?

That's another weird thing with this movie is that you lookical? No, because Cedric's not. Yeah. You know, like, well, is Campbell Scott's second bill? All right. But, um. That's another weird thing with this movie is that, like, you look at Fast Times, it's like, okay, that movie's beautifully cast, right? Great.

Great cast. And, like. Great cast. Down, like, the guys you know and the guys you don't know. Yeah. They're all great. But it definitely feels like, you know,

some of those people were bigger at the time the movie was released. Some of them popped 10 years later. Some of them are at their biggest now. But, like, it's a collection of actors. You mean Reinhold? Yes. At his biggest now. That's a collection of

people who made marks in cinema. Yeah, absolutely. And same with Rowdy Bytes. And it's like, oh yeah, you watch this and you're like yeah, they had a good eye. Yeah. They had a good eye. And you watch Say Anything and there's this similar thing with Cusack where it's like, man, they got fucking sack.

And this movie's fascinating to me, because it's like- And Mahone. Yeah. They own Mahone. They own Mahone. This movie's fascinating to me. I'm bringing that joke back. Yeah.

Unbreakable. This movie's fascinating to me. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. 100%.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

All right. All right. All right. Fine. Unbreakable. And do me a favor. Yeah. Right after us chanting yes and convincing you to put in unbreakable. And do me a favor. Yeah. Right after us chanting yes and convincing you to put in unbreakable.

Fingered? Yeah, can we get fingered? Fingered. Fingered. That was you. That was all you, Ben. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, but do we need to call it back?

Yeah, 100%. Okay. Creating mythology here, Ben. You're right, you're right. The blank check Checkiverse. The thing that's fascinating to me about this movie is the four leads in this movie are four people who didn't really become movie stars in the way that people expected them to. No, although none of them became nothing.

They're all still floating around. And Kira Sedgwick, Emmy winner. Oh, for the closer. She closed. Yeah, for the closer. She was always the closest. The show where she always goes, hey, come a little closer. I can't hear you. Come a the closer. She closed. Yeah, for the closer. She was always the closest. The show where she always goes, hey, come a little closer. I can't hear you.

Come a little closer. What I want to say is, if I tell you, hey, singles. It was a Cameron Crowe movie. And you're like, okay. It's set in Seattle during the grunge scene. Oh, and it's called Singles? Is it about rock music? Yeah.

No, no, no. Like little single apartments? Oh. Yeah, there's these houses that have little single apartments for singles. Because they're singles. Well, do they do any music? No. No, they go to a concert.

One of the four is in a band. Two of them meet at a concert. You don't really see them performing. But it feels like a perfect movie to have a double meaning title. Like you're like, oh, it should be singles. That's the thing, right. And it should be based around them buying cassette singles. Cuss singles?

Cuss singles. What if it was called cuss singles? I mean, I would love it. Maybe a prequel. Yeah. What if Cameron Crowe today was like, guys, my next project, cussingles. For years, people have been approaching me asking when I would revisit the word of singles. And now is the time.

So, you know what I'm saying? It's, like, interesting because there are four actors who who like, none of them, I mean, I guess Dylan was the most established at that point. He was already a big star because he'd been around for 10 years doing his sort of teen stuff. He'd been in the Francis Ford Coppola, you know, S.E. Hinton movies. And he'd been in, what else? Let's take a look.

He'd been in The Flamingo Kid. Yeah. And Drugstore Cowboy. Yeah, yeah. Love Drugstore Cowboy. Yeah, yeah. Love Drugstore Cowboy. He had done a lot of work, but then he sort of dips a little bit after this movie. A real dip. And then he has that late 90s, like To Die For, there's something about Mary, like little

mini blip. He comes back as a comedy guy. Yeah. But then that doesn't, you know, wild things. But then that doesn't stick either. And then he comes back with Crash. And he comes back with Crash. And people are like,

good supporting actor. And then literally, I'm looking at his Wikipedia credit right now, and five movies in a row are direct to VRT. He did Spectotum, which is a Kowski. And that was right around the same time as Crash, and he's great in it. And again, you were thinking like you, me and Dupree

old dogs I will say he's really good in old dogs and I'm not just saying that I'm not just saying that but look even like okay so his films coming up right after Crash are Loverboy which is directed by Bacon with Keira Sedgwick Factotum which is the Bukowski movie

then you go Herbie Fully Loaded, You, Me, and Dupree. He's the lead sort of person in that. Or is he the villain? Is Keaton the lead dad guy? Keaton is Lindsay Lohan's dad in the movie. And Matt Dolan is the evil racer. And this is, that's, yeah, that's a movie.

Yeah. Right, and then, okay, so then he does Nothing But The Truth. But that's sort of the only drama like real drama he does after Crash you know yeah

he does a lot of casting stuff he's in Armored remember Armored that's like an action movie yeah no I know yeah Takers is a similar like

oh yeah screen jet that's the one where Hayden has his little hat that's Hayden's hat the movie Hayden's hat the movie look at me I got a hat on

and then it just it just went away. You know, Dylan's had a funny career. All these guys have had funny careers. I mean, you know, Bridget Fonda, who I think is pretty good in this movie. And I'm quite fond of her. I'm quite fond of her. She looks wonderful.

She's so cute. One comedy point. Fonda Bridget. I'm fond of Bridget. You know, she had just been in Doc Hollywood and Single White Female. So she was like a big deal. Oh wow I didn't realize this was right after SWF I think it's the same year

and then you know it could happen to you which I think is a cute movie. Yeah she's cute in that. Then she's in like a bunch of crap that like was supposed to be good like City Hall, The Road to Wellville and then she's in Jackie Brown and you're like yeah like Quentin got a really good performance out of her here this is great

and that was that like and never was she heard from again. Was her last film ever Monkey Bone? Is that possible? No because she was also in things called Kiss of the Dragon and The Whole Shebang the same year but I've never heard of those so Kiss of the Dragon was a Jet Li movie that was the first American Jet Li vehicle. Yes and she's

second build on the poster Bridget Fonda, Kiss of the Dragon was a Jet Li movie. That was the first American Jet Li vehicle. Yes, and she's second build on the poster. Bridget Fonda. Kiss of the Dragon. And then I don't know Whole Shebang. That's the last thing she ever did? The Whole Shebang is a movie by George Zaloum. But does her career end? That's it.

That's it, literally. It's over. She's married to Danny Elfman now, and she doesn't do anything. Takes it easy. I loved her. I thought she was a really, really winning screen presence. I think she's cute in this.

I do think the movie gives her pretty short shrift for most of the movie. Yeah. At the end, it kind of turns her into a real character, like in the last two scenes, and you're like, oh, where was this during the whole boob job subplot? Yeah, which we'll talk about. Oh, boy! But I

watched Jackie Brown with my sister. It's one of my favorite movies. My favorite Quentin Tarantino movie by a mile. I love that movie. It's my second favorite film of his, but I think that movie's a masterpiece. Sure. What's number one? Inglourious Bastards.

Yeah, it's a good movie. I go Inglourious Bastards and then Jackie Brown. But I watched it with her, and she just, like, from the first scene, my sister was like, who's this? Who's that? Yeah, right, right. Like, Bridget Fonda's so good in that and so controlled and so understated and it's a really interesting character. Totally.

In a small supporting part and it feels like a real kind of reinvention for her. And it was, like, amazing because none of her movies, even if she was kind of big with all this promise at the time, if you're born in 1998, like my sister is, you don't grow up watching Bridget Fonda. You have no awareness of her. The name

Fonda might mean something to you. You might have heard you have no awareness of her the name Fonda might mean something to you you might have heard that there are movie stars with the name Fonda but she hasn't seen Bridget Fonda we've all seen Uli's Gold we all when we're young when we're 5 or 6 our parents sit us down and they're like ok it's time for you to see it time for you to see Uli's Gold

you're finally old enough to dig for gold but it's interesting to watch something like that and Romley's reaction was very much like, why don't I know who this person is? Because she cut it out. She stopped. Kira Sedgwick, the role, was originally supposed to be Jennifer Jason Leigh.

That was his idea, but she turned it down. And of course, weirdly enough, she's in Single White Female with Bridget Ponda the same year. And it had been in Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Well, obviously, I'm sure that's what he was thinking. Yeah. And then Jodie Foster and Robin Wright Penn were considered for the part.

Both would be excellent. But Bridget, I mean, Kyra got it, and I think she's good in the movie. I think she's fine. I think she's pretty good. I think. She had been in Born on the Fourth of July. That was her big. Yeah.

Breakout. I think Campbell Scott, this is on the Fourth of July that was her big yeah breakout I think Campbell Scott this is coming right after Dying Young which you know Premiere Magazine predicted would be the highest grossing film of that year

yeah he was in Longtime Companion which is this like sort of early gay AIDS crisis movie you know it's not that good

but it's sort of an interesting little artifact and then Dying Young right which is awful yeah but was supposed to be a huge hit no no with Julia Roberts AIDS crisis movie. It's not that good, but it's sort of an interesting little artifact. And then Dying Young, right, which is awful. Yeah, but we're supposed to be huge in it. No, no, with Julia Roberts. Yes, and I think he got cast

on the heat of that, of them presuming that movie would be big. I think both of them... I think he's... Campbell Scott is, I think, an A-plus top shelf actor, but he is not good in a role of a nice, normal guy who wants to find a girlfriend.

He's not a movie star. That's not his thing. He doesn't have that spark. And I think Kira Sedgwick is a fine actress, too, but I think- Yeah, I think she's good at this. For a movie like this that's so much about personality, because there's not much of a plot or any plot whatsoever yeah and there's no real hook to it you need people who just got some sort of wattage you know and like Bridget

Fonda you watch her and it's like okay Kira Sedgwick and Campbell Scott are both better actors than Bridget Fonda Bridget Fonda has that thing when she's in scenes you're kind of engaged you know and this is a movie where you need sort of charisma I mean I do think there's something too if you look at this movie and you go, like, okay, scattershot, a lot of characters, different plot lines, trying to capture a city and a time and an age group, and you have one outside character.

I could see how in 1984, Cameron Crowe wrote the script as, like, Seattle, Fast Times. Like, here's Fast Times with 20-somethings. Sure. And then post Say Anything, he was like, oh, I think I found who I am as a director. It's a little more calm. Yeah, a little more rom-com-y.

Yeah. And then filtered it through that. But you could see how Amy Heckerling could have directed the script in 1985 and it was a comedy. This movie should be a little more bubbly and lively. Agreed.

I just wanted Campbell Scott. You don't like Campbell Scott? I like him. What I like him is that he rejects Hollywood Right after this pretty much Because he makes Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle Which he's really good at He makes Big Night with the Tuch

Big Tuch Love a touch of the Tuch He's the star Of the Spanish Prisoner Which is bonkers And then he's in Doesn't do anything for a while Bunch of shit I've. Yep. And then he's in, like, doesn't do anything for a while, a bunch of shit I've never heard of, and then he's in Roger Dodger, which is an amazing performance.

Yeah, I need to rewatch that movie. Great movie. I didn't like it when I saw it, but I was young. And then in the same year, maybe the next year, he's in The Secret Lives of Dentists, which is a great performance. I like that movie a lot. I think he's excellent in that.

I like that movie a lot. You know who else is good in that movie? Dennis Leary. Our boy Dennis Leary. I think he's excellent in that. I like that movie a lot. You know who else is good in that movie? Dennis Leary. Our boy Dennis Leary. He's really good. And then since then he's come back and now he does these sort of small parts in Hollywood movies. He's in Spider-Man. He's in stuff.

The Amazing Spider-Man. And won. Yeah, and he's been on 55 episodes of Royal Pains I found out today on his IMDb. Did not know that. 55 episodes of Royal Pains. Look, you're an actor and you hear the pitch for Royal Pains. Yeah. You gotta jump at that. He's a doctor.

On the beach! Does he wear shoes? Nope. Does he practice medicine? Yep. Why is it called Royal Pains? Because rich people are annoying. Yeah. No, I'm not you know, throwing shade on him being in Royal Paints.

He's just got a very interesting career. I think he's a good actor. I don't think he's a capital M movie star that this movie needs. You need a sack. And he's so... You need a sack. Campbell Scott is very thoughtful. He's a weird little...

And he's very muted. He's one of those actors who's good at showing you him thinking. Yes. And here's another thing with Campbell Scott. He's one of those actors who's good at showing you him thinking. Yes. Yeah. And here's another thing with Campbell Scott. Campbell Scott got better when he got older because he always felt like he was 47 years old. Totally. Oh, I just remembered.

I just saw him on Broadway in Noises Off. Oh, how was he? Amazing. So funny. He was the director, which is funny. You know. Anyway, it doesn't matter. He was really good.

But you know what I'm saying? You watch him in this movie and he's supposed to be sort of like a young dude. And I watch him the whole time, and I'm like, you seem like you're 47. Like, you're so subdued. Yeah. You know? I kind of felt like that with Keira Sedgwick's character as well. You know, for a movie that's supposed to be about sort of like a generation on the rise,

both of them feel like grown-ups. There was a part where they're on a park bench, but it's a close shot. And I was like joking out loud. I'm like like are they at a soccer game right now yeah like a kid's soccer game like yeah i felt that way for sure they definitely feel too old i think it's a both of their energies are too mature yeah and then the bridget fonda subplot does feel like oh she's like a kid she's figuring it out you know but the two of them it's like a kid. She's figuring it out, you know? But the two of them, it's like, yeah, why not get married? You're like 47, right? Okay, let's try, I mean, there's no real plot system.

Let's talk about the characters, I guess, and their respective plot lines. Yeah, there's two main plot lines-ish, and then a couple sort of side lines. I want to talk about 90s technology. You want to do Ben's 90s technology corner? Yeah, we can get to that later. What do you got?

Well, I mean, do we want to talk about the breast program? Oh, God. Yeah, well, let's, yeah, okay. All right, so one plot is Bridget Fonda. Yeah. Young woman in her 20s. She's got a short haircut. 23.

There you go. And she says, I want to do something ridiculous before I get too old because I feel like when you're 25, ridiculous becomes embarrassing or something like that. She has a line like that. And I'm like 30 and I'm watching this and I feel like when you're 25 ridiculous becomes embarrassing or something like that she has a line like that and I'm like 30 and I'm watching this and I'm like god fuck you and like Matt Dillon she's got this on off thing with Dillon he Matt Dillon's character he won't commit to her he's like I'm still seeing other people

he's in a band called Sis and Dick he thinks he's fucking above it all and she's madly in love with him Campbell Scott's her like her next door neighbor like best friend and he's like come on you don't need to be hung up on a guy like this. That's a decent Campbell Scott impression, right? Yeah, it was pretty good. It was pretty good.

Listen, come on. Yeah. She decides that a problem with Dylan, with Matt Dylan not liking her, is that she's too flat chested. That's what it is. Yeah. That's the ticket. I mean, she did ask him and he said sometimes

sometimes it's actually one of his best moments in the movie I think you watch him try to anticipate how to react to this question when she's like

are my boobs too small for you and he's like you know and that's the funniest answer too yeah it's a funny answer so

that scene is there like in his apartment and she's like shirtless on top of him, and she's looking around the walls, and he's got collaged all these women on the walls. It's like rock stars. It's the early 90s, you know? What can you say? It was a different time.

Yeah. So she decides to get a boob job, and she- On a waitress's salary. Yeah, they never really go into that. Installments. She'll pay's salary. Yeah, they never really go into that. Installments. She'll pay in installments. Oh, sure. I just felt like there should have been a scene where she calls up her rich mom.

Sure. And she's like, I need this for student loans. Sure. Like, if you give me one scene like that where it's like, okay, she's conning money out of her hair. Just give me one scene like that. Because I kept on thinking about it, especially when they go to the computer and the technology is so state of the art. Oh, yeah. This is no back alley boob job.

She goes to see a boob doctor played by- Dr. Bill Pullman. Dr. Pullman. Dr. Pullman. And he shows her a program that, I guess they've full body scanned her boobs. Yeah, it's like a lawnmower, man. Yeah, it's like a wireframe model of her chest. And he's like, how about this?

And she's like, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, until they're sort of comically large. He's like, yeah, I don't know, but let's scale it down a little bit. And she's like, nope. They just keep on going, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, like up and down. And he's like, well, on your frame, that might look a little unnatural. What about this?

Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And she's like, but I really want to win him over. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he's like, do you jog? And she's like, a little bit. And he's like, boom, boom your frame, that might look a little unnatural. What about this? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And she's like, but I really want to win him over. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And he's like, do you jog? And she's like, a little bit. And he's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. They go back and forth and back and forth. I felt so uncomfortable during this scene, which I think is actually to this movie's credit.

Like, it makes me feel really, really uncomfortable when she's going to do that. when she's going to do that. Like, I get angry at her in a way I think the movie wants you to, where it's like, come on, dump this guy. Like, don't, you know, change yourself for him. And then that scene where Bill Pullman, it's not the most elegant scene, but the scene where Bill Pullman sort of, like,

shakes it into her, and it's like, come on, you don't need to fucking change for some guy who doesn't appreciate you the way you are. You feel like, yeah, yeah, thank you. Those graphics, though, man. You just don't get graphics like that anymore. No. Have you tried to get a boob job recently, Ben?

No. I was just wondering. You know, what I needed was graphics. That's why I didn't do it. You know, it's just the graphics weren't there. What's the program like, though? They brought out a charcoal drawing of what your body would look like with the boobs, and you went, I can't see it.

Pullman is such a weird... Career? Well, yeah, but, like, member of this cast. Because he's already been in Spaceballs. Yeah. He's already around. He was in The Accidental Tourist. And what about...

Two times in a row we've mentioned that movie. While you were sleeping? Has he been in that already? No, that's later. That's 95. Okay. Yeah. I don't know. He in newsies he's in a league of their own yeah he's got a weird career he's in sleepless in seattle the next year so i mean he plays a dope and in this he kind of plays it up too because there's the implication that he's got a bit of a crush on fonda yeah and you think that's where it's going yeah but in the end, all he does is sort of tell her,

like, look, I don't usually do this, but I don't think you need a boob job, and you shouldn't do it, which is fucking ludicrous. It's literally the one thing he does is breast augmentation. He's not going to be like, after all this, be like, look, everyone else who comes in here, I just shove those little silicon patties in there. But you, Bridget Fonda, you're a movie star you don't need no way you are uh she kissed him on the cheek

it's such horseshit uh she changes the part job or not i don't fucking care um there is uh what was i gonna say about bill pullman uh i totally blanked on this. Oh, Michael Showalter, that movie The Baxter. He said he based that movie off the Bill Pullman early 90s character. Right, because he always fulfilled this role of the guy who makes the girl realize who she should actually

be with. And usually it's like he's the guy she's with at the beginning. Yeah, right. Well, Pullman's role in Sleepless in Seattle, of course. Right. It's a classic example, yeah. But this- You got your Greg Kinnear in- You Got Mail.

And You Got Mail. Yeah. And a bunch of other fucking movies. Isn't he- Isn't Greg Kinnear playing that role in Someone Like You? I feel like Greg Kinnear's played that role like five different times. Yeah, does he- She leaves him for Jackman?

Is that what happens in that movie? I think Kinnear is more of a villain in Someone Like You. I think he might cheat on her as well, and that's part of- With Jackman? Is that what happens in that movie? I think Kinnear is more of a villain in some way. I think he might cheat on her as well. With Jackman? Yeah, Kinnear and Jackman get together. It's great.

But in this movie he doesn't even get to be with her. Usually he has a relationship and then he makes her realize who she should be with.

In this he's just like, look, I'm going to give you some tips for your own date advice and then you can just leave my office. Yeah, goodbye. I'll take none of your money.

I regret saying that Matt's almost the best performance in the movie because I did realize what the best performance was. James LeGros? Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

He's great. The number one best performance in this movie is Paul Giamatti. Oh, he's good. Oh, Mr. Wrong. Oh, Mr. Wrong with Ellen DeGeneres.

Ben is holding up a phone. He's not saying anything. He's just holding up a phone with the poster for Mr. Wrong on it. We remember Mr. Wrong. Mr. Wrong, isn DeGeneres. Ben is holding up a phone. He's not saying anything. He's just holding up a phone with the poster for Mr. Wrong on it. We remember Mr. Wrong. But Mr. Wrong, isn't that sort of like a subtle coming out film for Ellen DeGeneres or whatever? Because, I mean, look at that poster where she's horrified at the idea of getting married to Bill Pullman. And Bill Pullman looks like a serial killer on this poster.

I can't deny it. But still, I mean, Jesus, he's still a nice young man. She is screaming aloud. Yeah, that poster is upsetting. Movie is directed by... The guy who played The Shape in Halloween. No, but this was the bigger thing I wanted to point out.

Director of The Last Starfighter. Right. That's, you know, that's a great career. Yeah. Last Starfighter, Boy Who Could Fly, Dance of the Menace with Walter Matthau. Yeah. Last Starfighter. Boy Who Could Fly. Dance the Menace.

Dance the Menace with Walter Matthau. Wow, we're off topic. Yeah, anyway. No, James LaGrosse is great in this movie. Giamatti is amazing in this movie. Giamatti is amazing because it's like the joke is that they're sitting next to this couple that are making out. Yeah. And you're like, I get it.

I've been in that situation. PDA. It can be annoying. And then they break and Giamatti is the guy in this making out couple and you're like, whoa! And he's got one word. He's got one word in the entire film. He goes, what? What? Oscar.

He's great. I mean, I maybe was not paying attention very closely, but I had this moment where I did kind of a double take and was like, is that Giamatti's sucking face? Giamatti's sucking face! That's the best part for me.

Because he's introduced Making Out. Yeah, he is our finest film critic. Yes. When he's introduced Making Out, you're only seeing slivers of his face. You're like, maybe? No. Is the timing work out? And then he looks,

he's straight in the eyes, and he goes, what? James LeGros is another interesting example in this film of someone who people thought was going to be a movie star, and it didn't happen. James LeGros, no, but my argument with James LeGros,

he can't help but play weirdos. He loves it. So good at it. Can't play normal people. Hollywood would occasionally, especially on TV, try to squirm him into like a more of a classic just sort of like a handsome dude role.

A handsome dude. He is. I think he is. He's one of my favorite character actors. Whenever he's in a movie I fucking lose my mind. You're talking about the guy with the African hat? Yeah the guy with the ponytail and the glasses. The guy who is the ex of Kira Sedgwick. And he's kind of her hippie

you know. I'm talking about the friend. Right. At the coffee shop. He's the other guy who's like talking to Campbell Scott about shit. And he's got the little like skull cap on. He's played by the guy who played Buzz in Hudsucker Proxy. You mean Jim True Frost? Yes.

Yeah, yeah. He's Prez on The Wire. But I guess you guys didn't watch The Wire. Oh, yeah. He's Prez on The Wire, but I guess you guys didn't watch The Wire. Oh, yeah. He's a Steppenwolf guy. That's him. So he's probably from, he's a pal of Johnny Cuse. From Chicago?

Yeah, from Chicago. The Pibbs? A pal of the Pibbs. Yeah. He is, you know, he was in like the original cast of August Osage County. Good actor. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's a good actor.

He's fine in this because he's got the look of douchebag yuppie who's got a soul patch. Yeah, so the home base of this movie is, like, the coffee shop where Bridget Fonda and Matt Dillon work. It's one of, like, Matt Dillon's six jobs. Yes. He also delivers flowers. Yeah. And does some other stuff.

I don't know. Yeah, some other bullshit. Meh. Citizen dick. And then Campbell Scott goes there all the time. Yeah. The skullcap's the other employee. Kind of.

This is the thing. You think, oh, is it going to be them hanging out in the coffee shop? And Cameron Crowe famously said that Friends was a ripoff of Singles. But there's two or three scenes in the coffee shop. It's not enough. Yeah. Not enough of a ripoff of singles. But there's like two or three scenes in the copy. It's not enough, you know? Not enough of a culture to this movie. But then it's also not centered around the apartment buildings, really.

Not really. I mean, you know, they're in them sometimes. Right. But then you have the other character who is the woman who's like desperately trying to find a boyfriend, the one with the red hair. What a great storyline.

Well, that's the thing. It's like she's sort of just tossed in there. And you see all these points where the movie could be like... Sheila Kelly as Debbie Hunt. Who I like as an actress. Yeah, she was on L.A. Law. I don't know her very well. She's in Matchstick Men.

Oh, yeah. So she is. Apparently she was in The Guest, which is a great movie. She's the mom in that. There you go. Yeah, she's great in that. It's weird, her character, but I really liked when she went to get a haircut and she had all of these previous styles and all the printouts. Again, guys, printouts, printers, color ink. You know what I'm talking about? Ben has just got a hard up for 90s technology.

Have you ever seen the film Disclosure? No. Oh, Ben would love Disclosure. Would you love this movie? It's a movie that has multiple scenes set in, quote, virtual reality, unquote, and they are not very well done. I'm writing it down now. Imagine a wireframe humanoid model moving like it's sliding towards you, but Demi Moore's

face has been put on it, like a pixelated face of Demi Moore. I'm on board. Disclosure is a movie from the 90s that had the courage to ask, what if a woman sexually harassed a man? That is correct. Now, you're looking at me shocked. And they were thinking, jaw agape. Who should be in this? Maybe like a real subtle comedian who definitely is not politically correct.

Very politically, like Dennis Miller. Oh, my God. I just showed him the VR. Have you seen Disclosure? Yes. It's a bad movie. So they used the VR to try to figure out what the sexual harassment was. Because like you, they couldn't even process the idea of a woman sexually harassing a man.

So they go, we're going to use our computers, top of the line computers. Supercomputer. To see how it went down. Yeah. It's not like the NBC TV show Supercomputer. No. Oh, okay. Sorry.

But maybe we should do a whole series of like 90s tech movies, like The Lawnmower Man. Yeah. Oh, I would love that. Like all these movies with Ben. Yes. So bad. The Net. Oh, The Net.

Hackers. I just want a movie where at. The Net. Oh, The Net. Hackers. I just want a movie where at one point a character goes, excuse me, I have to send a fax. Johnny Mnemonic would be great.

I love that movie. There's this thing in the movie, though, where you could see a movie where it's like, the core of this movie is the singles department. Here are eight singles

who live and they're all their separate plot lines. Or it could be, here are people, they all overlap in the coffee shop. Or make the chapters work for each character or each story. Oh, the chapters are totally arbitrary. It's so stupid.

Every 20 minutes they just have like a still image of something and a quote that's going to be added later in the movie. Oh, I hate that. I hate that. Yeah. Again, it just, it feels like this movie's reaching for a structure a lot and they're not quite committing to it. It's very scattershot. And by the way, I mean, Fast Times's reaching for a structure a lot, and they're not quite committing to it. It's very scattershot. And by the way, Fast Times doesn't have a structure. Are people going to be mad at us that we're shitting all over this movie?

It's not that bad. No, it's not that bad. I didn't dislike watching it. It just didn't leave me with much emotion, whereas Say Anything leaves me with so much. And Jerry Maguire does as well. This movie's just in between those. But you know what I'm saying?

Fast Times is very scattershot, and it doesn't have a plot, but it is much more panoramic. Mm-hmm. Its scope is much broader. And it takes risks. It encompasses a lot more people and it takes risks. It takes storytelling risks

whereas this is like Bridget Fonda is like, maybe I should get a boob job and Bill Tolman's like, don't get a boob job and she's like, all right. Okay.

And then she's like, I'm over you Matt Dillon. He's like, I realized I love you. But the Sheila Kelly thing feels so tacked on when it's like two, like four main characters that are coupled off into two couples. So, yeah, it's really just two stories with a little overlap. Right.

And then you just have this other person. And then it's like either you need sprinkling it in. You need like three more people or you need like two less people. There's this joke. And like, God help us when the fucking Tinder movies start populating the theaters. Yeah. Because there's this joke that she tries this like video dating service where she like makes a movie about herself that's sent around

to prospective dates. Directed by? Uh, I don't know. Tim Burton? Oh, Tim Burton. Right, right. In the movie. In the movie. It's Tim Burton's only acting role. Yep. And she says that he's the new Martin Scorsese. Yes. Uh, he convinces her to take her top off. Yeah. And she says that he's the new Martin Scorsese. Yes. And he convinces her to take her top off.

Yeah. And then she watches this dorky montage of guys, which is kind of funny, but again, super broad. Her video's maybe my favorite part of the movie. Yeah, it's pretty funny. Her video's pretty good. Her flying at the start of the cycle. Just the idea that they're selling,

your video's going to cost more, but it's made by a real filmmaker. Right. And then it's just this filmmaker showing off his chops in a way that like isn't successful or functional at all as a dating video right and then this montage of all the dating videos that are terrible and then they're all terrible except for one the bike guy right and they're all like yeah the bike guy go for the bike so she takes a bike to the bike guy it's like suddenly she's friends with Campbell Scott and yeahgie Fond. And it's like, oh, were they friends? Okay.

All right. Because previously she was just kind of in the apartment complex. And she's annoying. Yeah. They're all annoying. Yeah. Other than Giamatti. Giamatti is really good.

Who? Giamatti. He's really good. He's my favorite character. It's like, and there's like these like other vague 90s, early 90s shout outs like, Kira Sedgwick works for Greenpeace type thing. And Campbell Scott works for the Department of Transportation is trying to get a new train in Seattle.

A super train. I do like that. I think I could do with a- I thought he tacked on super. Yeah. Train two, hyper train. Or super train two, super hyper train. Hyper super train.

But, like, you know, maybe we could have done a little more with the train. Nah, it's just like, we know he kind of wants a train. And then there's this one scene where Tom Skerritt plays the mayor of Seattle. And he's like, no train for you. Yeah, the train's brought up very early on when Keira Sedgwick comes back to his apartment he's got the poster and he explains it to her and then it's like left on the ground for like 45 minutes like a shard of a broken plate

and then and characters kept stepping on it and it crunches. Right and then 50 minutes later it's like with all this urgency he's pitching. I think it's great music, great coffee it's supposed to complete his like. Great coffee. Yeah. It's supposed to complete his downward spiral, right? He breaks up.

He doesn't get his super train. Did you... Okay, so as a... He leaves a message and she doesn't pick it up because her 90s technology... Yeah, talk of 90s technology. Her answering machine eats the tape. That's how it goes sometimes.

And also, garage door openers are a big plot point throughout this movie. Thank you very much. I'm checking off my list. That's the most dramatic check I've ever seen. That was a full-arm move. So the joke is, because there's that kind of awesome moment at the beginning of the movie. I love the opening. It's really great.

That's probably the best part. Kira falls for this Spanish guy. Yeah, Luis. And Luis, who is played by, let me find the actor's name. He's buried at the bottom there. Camilo Gallardo. His visa is running up. He's going to have to leave the country in two days.

He gives her this whole spiel where they kind of have this swoony romance. He's like, I got to go. I'm going back to Spain, but I love you. They do the sex. And then she gives him her garage door opener for some fucked up reason. This is important. He gives her the ring first. And he's like, you know, I can't stay.

If I stay longer, I won't be able to come back for five years. I'll come back in two months. But until then, here's something to remember me by. Sure. Gives her a ring, places it on her finger. Ooh, big gesture. And she's like, here's something for you. My garage door is always open for you.

Hands him the garage door opener. That makes no sense. He's going to Spain. You need the garage door opener to what? Open your garage He's going to Spain. You need the garage door opener to what? Open your garage. Gotta get out. Gotta drive your car.

But Cameron Crowe is like, ah, and this is a mistake we're gonna see him make a lot in his later movies. Yeah. Where he's like, I've hit on something

that's a really great metaphor. It's like, it's like the modern wedding rig. It's like the modern pin for your going steady. The garage door opener. No. The pen.

No. Yeah. No. I gave her my heart. She gave me a garage door. There's that fucking scene where they have sex and we. The garage door opener. No. The pen. No. Yeah. No. I gave her my heart. She gave me a garage door. There's that fucking scene where they have sex and we see the garage door

open and close because sex is a rhythmic activity that's punctuated with thrusting. That whole sequence is disgusting. Okay? Because of the fantasy where he imagines Xavier McDaniel telling him not to come.

You've got close-ups of their faces all sweaty, and they're just like, ugh, ugh. Right? And then you go- It's grossed out by sex, which is a natural human activity. And then you go to the basketball thing, and I'm like, and I said this, I'm like, is this a fucking cum joke? And goddammit, it was a cum joke. Yeah, well, I think actually that joke makes me laugh.

Yeah, I do. I think the jokes will execute, although he does it better in Jerry Maguire. I mean, so much better. Yeah. Because it's so fucking funny in Jerry Maguire. Yeah. And we'll get to Jerry Maguire. But I'll say this. So I saw this movie. I was like really into Gen X stuff when I was like 13 or 14 because I hated the time I was living in.

So I was like, different time periods. I see. So you were trying to sure. Right? I was like, what are other hip periods? Conjure. Right. Right. So I like watched a bunch of Gen X movies and like listened to a bunch of music, whatever. I spent like six months maybe- Bought a chain wallet. Yeah. Yeah, I actually did.

But maybe even less than six months, maybe like a month or two where I was in a Gen X kind of zone. And I saw this movie- Started taking swing dancing lessons. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Saw this movie, liked it a lot, bought it on DVD for like $6. Bought it.

Never watched it ever again. Indeed. Like, why did I buy this? Because I want to be like, oh, look, I like a movie about 20-somethings. I mean, $6. Yeah. I don't know. But I hadn't seen it since then, even though I had bought it.

So did you watch it on DVD? No, because I think I sold that DVD at some point. So you watched it on Amazon X? I watched it on Amazon X-Ray on my new Amazon Fire tablet. Oh, you fucking shill. Amazon's a great company. What are you talking You fucking shill. Amazon's a great company. What are you talking about? Fuck you.

Amazon's a great company. I like all the stuff they do, especially their pilot. I watch this on iTunes. Parody. Call me up when they do an original series. They probably will someday. It'll probably be really expensive. I've watched, actually, all the movies on Amazon Prime.

Yo, yo! And it's a lovely service. Thank you. And they have a great catalog. Yeah. I use it because I have an Apple TV. Good video player. Yeah, really great.

I use it on my Apple TV. I don't have Amazon. Okay, well, listen. What are you going to do? My point is, I only, like going into this, re-watching it, as someone who liked it enough

the first time I saw it to buy it at a bargain price but still I bought it I was like I remember like none of this movie and I was like the only thing I remember

really I remember that the band's called Citizen Dick right? Sure. And I remember one line from this film and then the one line

was not in the movie. Whoa which was you had me at hello? It's actually in Jerry Maguire. I had a very distinct memory. Show me the money that's also Jerry Maguire. Rose had a very distinct memory. Show Me the Money. That's also Jerry Maguire. Rosebud.

That's Citizen Kane. Yeah, right. Not Citizen Dick. No, go ahead. I had a very, a very specific memory of in the scene where they're having sex.

I didn't remember the Xavier McDaniel thing. Sure. I remembered it going to a close-up of his face, which is in the movie, and then over that close-up there being voiceover of him saying the most important thing in the world right now is that you don't cum.

That's not in the movie. No, which stuck in my mind because I was like, that's a gross line. Yeah, it's a fucked up line. That's a gross moment. We get it. That's the sentiment of the scene. Don't cum, don't cum, don't cum. Xavier, right, Xavier McDowell telling him not to cum.

But he does it at the end of a, like, you know, boilerplate sports speech where he's like, hey, you know. Anything else? Oh, yeah. Yeah, we gave 100%, blah, blah, blah, and anything else? Oh, yeah, make sure, what is it? What's his name? Daniel? David?

Steve. Campbell? I just love that I imagined a terrible line from this movie and held it against the movie. I was like, yeah, but you know that fucking scene in Singles where the voiceover, he goes, the most important thing in the world right now is that you don't cum? It sounds like a bad Cameron Crowe line, but Cameron Crowe is better than that. Yeah, agreed. Especially now.

You're actually wrong about Giamatti. I just remembered. You're wrong. Dead wrong. About him being the best performance? Yeah. Who's the best performance? Victor Garber.

With the mustache. You know how some people say, you know lebron james for the win victor garber with the mustache in the billiard room yeah with the best performance the rose petals yeah he plays uh what's her name uh a redheaded friend who goes on kelly's character of uh we already forgot her name jesus debbie deb Debbie, right. So Debbie's trying to meet a guy. Picks the bike guy. She bikes to a place. Picks the bike guy.

There's a whole sequence where she bikes to the wrong restaurant, bikes to the other restaurant. She missed it. Her flat tire, bikes home. Uh-oh, the guy ran in with a roommate, played by Allie Walker, decent actress. Yeah, and they were in college together? Yeah, they're like old college buds,

and they're obviously flirting, and they have a conversation outside where she's like, I saw him first. I have dibs on this guy. And then Sheila Kelly makes Allie Walker. It's a real great contribution to society and feminism. Hold on, I wrote it down. They agree upon $80 for his dong.

She wants $200 reimbursement for the dating tape, and instead it's $80 for the dong. And dishes for the month. Dishes for the month tape. Instead, it's $80 for the dong. And dishes for the month. Dishes for the month. Dishes and dong for $80. You think that's the end of that plot line that they've only spent five minutes on. Sure. Then she goes to an airport and she's like, hey, can you seat me next to a single?

And the woman's like, I think I have just the person. And she's on a plane with like a 13-year-old. He is single. Joke. And she's on a plane with a 13-year-old. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. He is single. Joke. And he makes a joke. He's like, can I go out with you? He's like, I got that whole joke.

You know what's funny? Your little boys are like Casanovas. Jokey voice. And then he lands at the airport. And his dad, his divorced dad, who he was there to see, is Victor Garber. BG! With a mustache. With a mustache! And he's got one shot in the film.

No, he's got a couple. Really? Yeah, because it cuts, you know, to him. Oh, them together? Yeah. To him. And he says, the most perfect thing in the world, which is, those are great earrings.

I can't even remember what his line is. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that actually that guy was one of the creepy guys from the dating video. Like one who's really close to his brother. I'm so alone. I thought it was like a callback to him. That moment's funny too when the guy goes, I'm just so, so, so, so, so, so lonely.

Apart from the 1973 film Godspell, this is basically his first performance. Really? In a film. Obviously, he was a major theater actor. Right, yeah. And then after this, you know, he is fantastic in Sleepless in Seattle, which is the next year. He's one of Tom Hanks' like sort of guy buddies. They have the scene where they talk about where they cry every time they watch The Dirty Dozen.

Yeah. I've seen Sleepless in Seattle several times. That's an interesting overlap. He's in Mixed Nuts. Oh, Mixed Nuts. Gotta mix them nuts. He's in First Wives Club, and then he's in a little movie called Titanic. Yeah, and he's in a little movie called La Gali Blonde.

He's in a little movie called Milk. He's on a little TV show called Elias. Keep going. Yeah, and no one will like it. He played half of Firestorm in The Flash. Oh, right, little TV show called Elias. Keep going. Yeah. He played half of Firestorm in The Flash. Oh, right. That half. The top half.

That was weird. Yeah. What to say about this movie? I mean, the main plot line we haven't even talked about because it's just so, like, boilerplate. We were talking about the garage opener. Right, right, right, right, right. That was a while ago. Yeah, she goes to the club,

she sees Luis the day after after she told her friend that she thinks they're going to get married. Right, no, I just like that because she just, yeah, right, she thinks he's gone,

she goes to a bar, sees him at the bar, and he just kind of goes like, eh. And you think, okay, maybe this movie's going to be about the perils of dating,

like different people, different relationships. It's kind of trying to be a little bit. But then it's mostly two characters in two different relationships that to be a little bit it's mostly two characters in two different relationships like that stay throughout the film do you know what i'm saying i do you

could see it being all these different combinations of people having all these little flings and it's like yeah right because you do you want to talk about the pregnancy subplot is that yeah because that the fucking word that is the worst kind of hollywood plotting where it's like she gets pregnant. Why? To spur a conversation. They can't have the conversation. Yeah. And like so she gets pregnant and he's like, oh, God, what are we going to do?

What are we going to do? And he like proposes and she says, don't make this a memorable chili dog. Don't make me remember this chili dog. Because it's a memorable chili dog. And then they get to. You don't even have to say anything. So they're going to get married. Yes, take a bite.

They get in a fucking car accident and she loses the baby like that. There's no trauma. There's nothing earned. No. Like she just sort of wakes up and she's like, I lost the baby, didn't I? No one actually even says yes. You're just like, yep. And then she wants to take some time alone.

So she goes on a boat and when she comes back, she's like, I think we should just be friends. Or he says it first. He's like, you know, there's no reason we have to go back. But he's on the defensive because he knows she's feeling it.. He's like, you know, there's no reason we have to go back. But he's on the defensive because he knows she's feeling it. Like she's into her work again. And then he leaves her a message and the tape beats it but then they get back together.

The whole thing fucking is so predictable but not in a fun way. You're just like, yeah, yeah. He calls her from a Soundgarden concert. Well, you know, we've all done that. Yeah. We've all gone to a Soundgarden concert and gone to the phone booth. The payphone. At the concert hall.

Excuse me, I just have to make a check. Hey, I respect that. I do like that scene where he's in the payphone and everyone's knocking on the door because they think it's the bathroom and he's trying to leave this place. No, right. That's always going to be the end of my joke. We've all gone to the payphone and people have tried to pee in it. It is weird, though, that the Citizen Dick doesn't play in this movie.

No, I think we hear something. Very briefly. Because we hear this song that's called Touch My Dick. Yeah. It's not actually called Touch My Dick, but it's close enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Touch Me, Dick. And Pearl Jam plays the other members.

Yeah, and Eddie Vedder's on screen, and they even mention him in a review, a negative review. Yeah. I like that scene with the negative review. Yeah, he goes, don't read anything negative, and they have to skip over the paragraphs that are about how old.

And then they're like, and the competent drum work of Eddie Vedder is like the first thing. But the band definitely like for a guy who's so interested in music the band feels like kind of an afterthought here. Yeah I think he does a better job with Almost Famous at having a fictional band.

But I did hear he wrote like a full track list of what their songs would be. You don't hear them perform. And Soundgarden who were in this movie were like oh those are good fake song names. And apparently Soundgarden like wrote a bunch of Soundgarden wrote a bunch of, Chris Cornell wrote a bunch of songs off of that. You know my name.

Did he write You Know My Name? Yes, that was based off of Singles. No, actually, I did hear this Spoon Man was one of the tracks. Spoon Man is based off of the Soundgarden Spoon Man song. Spoon Man. Spoon Man. Fucking 90s man. Is based off of, that was a fake song title from Singles,

but he like. Camera goes like, he's like looking around, he's eating cereal. A spoon man. A spoon man. The music in this movie, apart from, you know, they pepper in a lot of the grungy tracks, but also the music by Paul Westerberg of The Replacements. That's like the score, quote unquote. The little jangly little guitar music.

This movie was shot by Tak Fujimoto. Yeah, it looks good. It does, actually. It looks pretty good. We said like, you know, he's good at, he hires good cinematographers.

He hires good DPs. This is some zooms. Yeah, and I do like the classic Tak Fujimoto like direct address to the camera. Not just, not the scenes where they're literally monologuing

to the camera, but when he places the camera so that the lens is the character's eyeline and you're placed in the conversation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Same thing he did to very different effect in Silence of the Lambs. In Silence, and he does it in the sixth sense. Yes. And I like that.

Me too. Another tidbit, Katie Rich, former guest of this podcast. Past and future guest. Past and future guest. Her husband's sister, he was telling me this yesterday. It was at her birthday party yesterday. Lived in the singles apartments. Oh, wow.

And apparently they had a lot of leaks. A little bit of info for you. Like leaking plot details from the movie Singles? Correct. Oh, yes. No, no, no, no. Leaking CIA secrets. Oh, yeah.

Leaking stolen sex cam video. No, no, no. Leaking like CIA secrets. Oh, yeah. Leaking like a stolen sex cam video. No, no, no. Leaks like water. Ben looks like he has a point that he's eager to make. Well, while we're on the subject of music, some montages that are kind of problematic for me. It's Touch Me, I'm Dick. Okay. What are some bad montages?

Well, there is the scene, and it's like kind of a recurring thing of the magazine stand. Yes. Which I'm into. I love magazines. Right. He does that a lot. Great 90s technology.

Yeah. You don't get to touch your media anymore. Like the tactile media. Touchy media. Yeah. But there's the scene where after he blows it at the club they see they run into what's her name? Kira Sedgwick again. And they play a little classic

blues romance riff. Like what? Can you give us that romance riff? Well it's like bad blues like music. Ben really got heated up about this movie. Yeah. Can you try to approximate the riff right now? Yeah it's like fine. you try to approximate the riff right now? Yeah, it's like, fine.

She likes to bear the homes. She likes to max them. Magazine. You get it. Yeah, I get it, yeah. And then there was a jazz part, too, where I was just like, if this is about grunge music, the fuck are you putting in this stupid shit? It's a weird movie.

It's a funny little movie. So it's 92 and then Jerry Maguire's 95 or 96? 96. And remember, this movie was made and shot in like 1990. It was like done by 91. It was on the shelf for a year. It comes out September 92. Yeah.

And then, yeah, he takes a break, writes a movie about a sports agent who has an epiphany about his business, but then opens an independent sports agency with one client and also gets in a romance with a secretary from the sports agency. And Tom Cruise decides to be in it. The biggest movie star. In 1996. in the world. In 1996. I mean, you know, because it's a good script, but still, that's something. You couldn't write this shit, you know?

I mean, it's crazy that Tom Cruise did the film. It is. And we'll talk about that next week. I mean, that was when Cruise, I feel like, was like, I want to work with really interesting creative, you know, he was doing pics to Palma to make Mission Impossible. Like, you know, he's like, he's trying to make interesting movies. He's going to make, you know, work with Paul Thomas Anderson. Yeah.

That was like Cruise's thing was like, if you look at his movies for a while, it's like, I'll do like, I'll do Pollock. I'll do Scorsese. I'll work with the Palma. I'll work like he only. And Kubrick. Yeah.

He only would make movies with a tourist for a very long while there. And yeah, I mean, you know, I guess in his mind, going for Jerry Maguire was like a Paul Thompson thing of like, okay, this is a guy who hasn't totally like done the thing yet. Sure, but I think he can pull this off. Like I think this, yeah. Right. With me on board, he can land the plane. Right.

But with Magnolia coming straight off of Boogie Nights and with this year coming straight off of singles with Jerry Maguire. It off of Singles. It's true. Yeah. It's true. I don't know, man. He took a rescapade off. He did? Yeah. But we'll talk about that next week. Yeah, I don't know what more I can say about this movie. Well, uh...

I got some things. I got plenty of things. Ben, Jesus, what else? We got roses in the pregnancy aisle. Alright, Ben's just ripping out random shit in the movie. That was fucking weird, man. Who does that? That's terrible. Anything else?

Yeah, of course. Okay. Dating services. Oh, when you meet Matt Dillon's character, he's silk screening. Sure he is. Yeah. Citizen dick shirts. It's true.

Because he's an artist. Cool 90s technology. Check boy ben is genuinely checking here he is he's checking off he's adding check marks with a lot of flourish here's what matt cook of the stranger which is seattle's alt weekly said at the time he's relying on the general hipness of our little berg and the star power of a few local musicians to make a bundle of dough, and he hasn't bothered to back them up with anything worth remembering. They were mad about it. Anyway, Crow says that Friends, which Friends, you know, is developed in the next year and obviously hits our screens in 94.

And it's, you know, it is kind of this sitcomified. It's the same idea of like, the whole concept is just being single in your late 20s and you're a Generation Xer. Yeah. And you have a bunch of jobs. It's definitely a movie about people having jobs, yeah. All right, more stuff. Okay, when Fonda breaks up with her mans,

I like that she buys a ton of magazines and then carries them up onto the roof with a landline, like a fucking boss, so she can take calls and she can just read magazines all day and night. Wait, David, do you hear that? What? No, no, I have one more thing to say Before it happens I hear something off

Wait What is going Get closer It's time for the burger report We're not done with singles But I think we got a sneak attack Have you got a burger report No I was pitching a bet

What Okay I don't have anything got a burger report? No, I was pitching a bet. Wait, what? Okay. I don't have anything. I don't think I've even had a burger. I had a burger. I haven't seen anything. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

Jim Carrey. What? Wow. Is this crazy, Carrey? Like Emma Stone loving Jim Carrey? Mr. Popper's Penguins, Carrey? Was he popping them penguins? I think this was around the penguin popping time.

It was the penguin popping period, you could say. And he was, it was weird, he like really did not want to be treated VIP. He was like, seat me downstairs. Right? And he was honestly such

a nice guy. I didn't take his order but I delivered his burger fair enough and I just remember him being with Jenny McCarthy no he wasn't

it was post that for sure he was with a rando a non-femo yeah and then I think he asked for Brando. Brando. A non-famo? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. And then I think he asked for some ketchup. There you have it, folks. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.

I have one thing to say. This is a tidbit. I like that it starts from far away. You keep doing that. I'm going to keep that going on. Okay, one more tidbit. Sorry. I just wanted a little burger. A couple of tidbits. I was feeling hungry. I like that it starts from far away. You keep doing that. I'm gonna keep that going on. Okay, one more tidbit, sorry. I just wanted a little burger. A couple of tidbits. I was feeling hungry. I wanted a little burger.

On July 5th, 2015, Derek Erdman, who is some fucking rapper or something, some white rapper, held a public screening of this movie at the courtyard of the Capitol Hill apartments. Sorry, Capitol Hill's Coriel Court apartments. These singles apartments. The event was attended by 1,000 people.

Despite initial concerns by the landlord, the event went off smoothly. The crowd was respectful and cleaned up after themselves. Reports of Bridget Fonda being in attendance were false. Burying the lead, it was actually her aunt Jane Fonda. Oh. What?

Two-time Academy Award winner, Jane Fonda. Great actress, Jane Fonda. Legendary movie star and rebel rouser, Jane Fonda. There's a screen in my niece's movie down over in Seattle. Oh, yeah, I'll pop over, check it out. Also, who has ever visually mistaken Jane Fonda for Bridget Fonda? She's several years older. And they don't look that similar.

Jesus. Well, that's a very bizarre tidbit. Yeah, you guys are kind of wigging out too, by the way. As dudes? What do you mean? Oh, that's just a reference to the movie. Yeah, they use like really old 90s terminology that I just loved. Can I throw something out there that hit me while watching this movie?

Sure. I feel like watching this in particular, Cameron Crowe is maybe responsible for a lot of what went wrong in American independent cinema. And I know he's not an independent filmmaker. Yeah, I mean, it's a studio

movie, yeah. I mean, but that's what I think is interesting is you watch this and you watch Say Anything and you're like, these would never be studio movies today right yes and that changes the tenor of everything because there's like a big difference if like you're a little studio movie and they're like okay we'll give you nine million dollars you're off the radar we're not paying that much attention to you you have studio funding but you know the movie's not falling apart at the seams right and when you're an independent movie when like the financing could fall out at any moment everything's kind of being everything's got to matter everything's got to be ready right when you get all the money

together you got to have a polished script you know that's the thing like even if you're a big budget independent film it's still it's like danger zone all the time danger zone danger zone um and i look at this and say anything and jerry muire to a lesser degree, you know, both in the ways that they're successful and unsuccessful respectively as films, they were sort of this pushing this. Okay, so you go in like the 70s, everything used to be high concept, right? Okay, okay. And then in the 70s, there's this shift to like high concept premises but done in sort of this workaday blue collar way okay fine there's also the death of the studio system and all that but i'm saying i think rise of you know great directors i think that is what comes out of the

70s new hollywood studio driven director driven studio days this sort of like okay french connection is a cop movie but it's a cop movie that doesn't function like a thriller. Yeah. Right? You can make it more sort of everyday. You can make it about incident.

I get you. And about, you know, character behavior. It's not about, he has to get addicted to heroin and then kick it, which is what the French Connection 2 is about. Right.

Very high concept, very silly. Right. Oh, hey, speaking of heroin dealers, the guy from Pulp Fiction, he was the clown. Oh, Eric Stoltz is the mime in this film. Yeah.

And was also the party guy. I told him that he was in Say Anything, and Ben was like, oh. He was the party guy who makes Cusack the key master. He gives Cusack the sack. Oh, yeah, I didn't recognize him. He's also in Jerry Maguire. Anyway, finish your thought,

because I want to do the box office game. Yeah, because I do think that Cameron Crowe spoke to a certain generation of burgeoning filmmakers who were like, oh, I can make a movie that's just about people talking. You know, his movies were so low concept. Sure. And they were just sort of character based and dialogue based. People were like, oh, it's just interesting characters and they're overlapping. And they're just going through daily life.

And even a movie like this that isn't that great, you can tell it's written by a good writer. Like it feels like a bad screenplay by a good writer. Okay. Who is sort of perceptive

and detail driven. Okay. And then I think all these independent filmmakers, like people in film school around the time of these movies are coming out, we're like,

oh, this is what I want to do. And you get a bunch of shitty like films and now the films, like so many Sundance movies today are the films inspired by the films inspired by by the films inspired by. I don't think you can take it

all the way to the present day because I think this died. I think this died. A little bit. No, I think it died. I do feel like it's just a little bit quirky. No, you're thinking of Ed Burns movies.

You're thinking of like fucking Ed Burns movies. You're thinking of the nightmare of the mid to late 90s and when Sundance is just all that. Yes. You know, all white guy movies, one about jerking off

and like, you know, falling in love with fucking, you know, TV girl stars like Jennifer Aniston. Yeah,

fuck that stuff. No, that's what you're talking about. I do think, yeah, maybe Cameron Crowe definitely has some

DNA strands, you know, in that sort of stuff. People took the wrong lessons from him. I think that has kind of petered out a little bit. I mean, not that these movies aren't getting made still, but there's also

other movies. And like, you go to a Sundance now, you know, there's a little more of a wider variety of genres available, of voices making indie movies. And of course, there's more platforms, so it's easier to I mean, there's still I'm not going to diss upcoming

movies,, okay. Box office game. No, it's the craziest thing in the world. You'll never guess any of the top five. Never. Okay. Singles opens at number three, four mil. It clears 18 total.

The year is 1992. Yeah, September 92. I'll tell you that deeper in the box office are movies like Sister Act, which has cleared up 132. You got Batman Returns all the way down there. It's got 160 million, but it's basically done with its run. My favorite of the Batman films. You've got Unforgiven, which has made $70 million over the last couple months. And it will win Best Picture.

It's going to go on to win Best Picture, yes. But number one, well, it's a Phil Alden Robinson joint. Field of Dreams? Nope. Sneakers? Yeah, sneakers. Who doesn't love sneakers? Sneakers?

Sneakers? Is that the noise they make? Sneakers? Have you seen Sneakers? Yeah, it's pretty good. I believe you. I like Sneakers, yeah. Good cast.

It's fucking Redford, Poitier, Aykroyd, Phoenix, Therne. And that's, yeah, River Phoenix. That's when he's at his most cutie.

Oh, this isn't, I thought it was Leaf. No. No, not Leaf. Not Leaf slash Joaquin. Before you turn over a new Leaf, you had to go down the river. Leaf's still pretty young at this point.

Leaf's still kind of late teens. Okay, number two at the box office. Number two at the box office is a movie starring Kurt Russell and Martin Short. Captain Run? What the fuck is that movie? I've never heard of it. You've never heard of Captain Run? No.

Martin Short's on a boat. Captain Run's a captain. Look, I mean, this all sounds great. This all sounds great. They used to play on the Disney Channel a lot. Kurt Russell's like a boat captain with an eyepatch. So is it like a kid's movie? No, it's like a Touchstone kind of comedy.

Is it like a gone fishing? Yeah, it's like a gone fishing. Yes, exactly. I'd say it's analogous to gone fishing. Martin Short and his wife are on a boat, and they got a captain on the boat. And Kurt Russell's sort of a big, funny captain guy? Yeah, and they're mild-mannered, and he's wacky. Number four, the box office, an allegorical film by a major auteur who is going through a little bit of a tough time in the press.

Because he did a real fucked-up thing. The film is Husbands and Wives. Hubbies and Wives with Sidney Pollack and Judy Davis and Mia Farrow. Yeah, that's a weird movie. Who was the director? Woody Allen. Yeah. Who had recently dumped Mia Farrow for their adopted daughter, Soon-Yi.

Oh, she was like 13, right? Gonna see Cafe Society tomorrow. Woody Allen still makes films. Makes them once a year. Every year. That happened in 1992. It's 2016. You also could watch him play jazz music at the Village East or something.

No, at Carthright. The Carlisle. Carlisle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's our plug for the day is go see Woody Allen play clarinet at the Carlisle. It's only $80. Number five is a great work of Jewish cinema starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, among other people. School Ties?

Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay, I want to go through those. Early 90s, baby. Rest of the 10. School ties? Yeah. Oh, boy. Okay, I want to go through this. Early 90s, baby. Rest of the 10. What's 6? Honeymoon in Vegas. Oh, so Cage is rattling around there.

Yeah, he's rattling around. You know, you got Young SJP. What week is that? That's number 6, and it's fourth week. It's made $28 million. You got Single White Female, which was a decent hit. So Fonda's all over the 10. She is,

big Fonda. Yeah. You got Unforgiven, number nine, Hellraiser 3, Hell on Earth. I was going to try to guess this. Not a Hellraiser I've seen.

No. A lesser Hellraiser entry. Number 10 is a film called Wind. Never heard of it. Matthew Modine, Jennifer Grey. Oh, it's a Modine Grey,

okay. I've literally never heard of that movie. Yeah, me neither. You got Death Becomes Her, you got Pet Sematary 2, Bob Roberts. Yeah, that's about it. 92. Not, you know, I mean, Unforgiven's a great movie,

but not a sterling year for cinema. No, definitely not. Merchandise Spotlight. You're kidding me. No, there was no merchandise for this movie. I was kidding you. Is there any Jerry Maguire merchandise? I feel like there isn't, but there should be. There should be.

Maybe there's a Rod Tidwell fake rookie card or something. Yeah, I feel like if that movie had been made four years later, there would be a Rod Tidwell doll. They would have made some fucking talking keychain. They would have made something that said, show me the money. There has to be a show me the money thing. They would have made some fucking talking keychain. They would have made something that said, show me the money. There has to be a show me the money thing. Maybe not.

Maybe Cameron Crowe is above that. Like a big mouth Billy Bass? Because they never even released, they never even released a Stillwater record. It came as a bonus disc on the untitled. Are we going to watch the untitled cut? Let's announce that. I think we're going to watch the untitled cut

of Almost Famous. The bootleg cut? I think that's what we're going to watch. By the way. It's Crowe's announce that. I think we're going to watch the untitled cut of Almost Famous. The bootleg cut? I think that's what we're going to watch. By the way. It's Crow's preferred version. The next week or two weeks from now, the Mighty Ducks comes out. The first one? Yeah.

Oh, so American Cinema is about to change. I mean, the whole landscape is about to be. And the last of the Mohicans, which is a really good movie. Right. So that undoes some of what Mighty Ducks does. One step forward, two steps back. So, yeah. You know.

I mean, singles. It's out there. Like you said, it exists. It definitely exists. It has its fans. We watched it. We were pretty dismissive, and I do feel like some people might be mad about that. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I actually don't know. I've never met anyone who's really passionate about this movie, but I know they exist.

Yeah, I mean, I'd say maybe re-watch it, see if it's a one-off. See if it holds up.'s not bad but it just it feels pretty inconsequential oh David just handed me his garage door opener, no the whole door no he handed me the whole door and he handed Ben the opener and now Ben's hitting it

and I'm getting hit in the back with the garage door because I put it behind me who's your favorite who's my favorite what Who's your favorite? Who's my favorite what? Of the four. Like, not in the movie, just in general.

Kira, Campbell, Matt, and Bridget. Bridget Fonda. I like Bridget Fonda. Yeah. And I also, I don't know. I mean, you know, absence makes the heart grow Fonda. The fact that she's been gone for so long makes me appreciate her more.

What if Fonda came back? I would love that. It's funny because, you know, Quentin Tarantino obviously took it upon himself to get Jennifer Jason Leigh an Oscar nomination last year. And, you know, what if her single white female counterpart, what if he brings her back? It'd be great.

I would love to see her do anything. But, you know, by all accounts... Or say anything? I'd love to see her say anything. You like that band? Yeah. Maybe she's just too busy playing chimes on Danny Elfman scores. I don't know what she's doing.

Does she do the chimes? Is she the chime artist? Oh, she's married to him. I mean, I want to believe they have a... Plays his chimes. Well, David, come on. Well, Oingo Boingo. Yeah, she does Oingo his Boingo.

But the chimes joke was out of line. What if it turns out Bridget Fonda's been listening every week? I hope so. Bridget, I mean, please, come on the show if you're a blankie. You can be a guest. We'd love to talk to you. Yeah, if you want to talk about... Single white female.

Yeah, we are. Only single white female. Only, yeah. I mean, I don't know. I feel like we're running out of fumes now, right? Yeah, we're done. We're done. We're done. We're done. We're done.

We're done. That's it. This is a soft ending, you know? I feel like. Oh, some breaking news. Oh? No, I don't think I can reveal this, actually. But I'll tell you off mic.

Okay. It's not interesting. Wait a second. It's a little tidbit from Katie Rich. Wait a second. Do I hear something off in the distance? I don't know. What?

What is it? Is this the orange twist file? The orange twist file. Oh, God. It's the orange twist file. Ben, you can just say I don't have anything this week. No, but you know he's got something. We got to end strong.

Yeah. Hold on one second. Let me open up the file and cabinet. Because it's the Ernst Twist file? Yeah, it's a file. And then we open the file. That sounds like a 90s video game where you, like, you know, open a cabinet and make, like, a really. Yeah.

And then we flip through the files. I don't think Ben has anything. Well, I mean, I don't. I'm not allowed to say this, I think. Okay, what if you tell the story and you bleep the name out? So we know, and the audience at home will hate that. I guess

that's okay. I like it. Alright, so um... Oh my God. Has been known to have a bit of a drinking problem. Yeah, I've heard that. Uh-huh. He was sort of a regular.

Uh-huh. Okay. All right. And would come in on occasion to have a nightcap. Sure, yeah. How many nightcaps? Well, I think he had had a bunch when he got there. Yeah.

And so, but he was a cool dude and like would chat with you and stuff, you know? Was like there often enough. And one night we closed, but he stayed and hung out with the employees. Sure. And we were all getting pretty drunk. Maybe even smoked a little weed. What? Yeah.

Took in the reefer? Yeah. And then we were all putting songs on the iPod, right? Okay. And he started picking songs and we all started dancing. And then that dude was naked. Wow. Yeah.

Like, how quickly? I mean, I was drinking too. Were you naked? No, no. It was definitely weird. It was definitely like all of a sudden he was like, Woo, we're doing this, guys. Yeah, here's my dick.

How was that dick? It was pretty good. Decent way? Yeah, it was a good dick. I'm not surprised. But our bouncer had to put his clothes back on for him. Oh, boy. So, sort of drunk.

Well, if you have any guesses as to who Ben is talking about, please tweet them at us, blankcheckpod, or email blankcheckpodcast.gmail.com. We will not respond. No, you're never going to find out. No, but, you know, just have fun guessing. Yeah, I think it's fun. Yeah, and, you know, share any other thoughts you may have with us.

I have a feeling this is going to be our least listened to episode. I don't mean that because of quality. I just think people don't want to hear anyone talk about singles. It'll be, yeah, it'll be whatever. It'll be a little blip. Look, I always enjoy spending time with you guys. Next week, Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire. Jerry Maguire's great. Yeah, we're going to fucking show you the podcast. Yeah. it'll be yeah it'll be a whatever it'll be a little blip look next week Jerry Maguire Jerry Maguire

Jerry Maguire's great yeah we're gonna fucking show you the podcast yeah are you ready yep for Jerry Maguire show me the podcast

you had me at hello fennel that came from one of our listeners I forget someone tweeted that at us and it was really good

you complete my podcast you you yeah fuck yeah okay thank you all for listening yeah and it was really good. You complete my podcast. You, you, yeah, fuck, yeah, okay. Thank you all for listening. Please rate, review, subscribe, sneeze off mic, and...

You know, whenever you do NPR, sorry, Ben. That was, Ben looks disgusted right now. Yeah, sorry. It's just allergies. When you do NPR, they have a sneeze button yeah no i'm not here yeah and as always and as always david because i love you oh i'm going to be the one who says bless you thank you forgot about that isn't i hate that all he has to do is say, bless you.