Blank Check with Griffin & David - Spanglish with Richard Lawson

Episode Date: April 22, 2018

Richard Lawson (author of All We Can Do Is Wait) returns to discuss 2004’s Spanglish. But is this movie really about James L. Brooks attempting to justify why he wants to sleep with his maid? Is it believable a character has never seen a man cry? Is this film available on blu-ray and will it’s value increase over time like bitcoins? Together they examine Adam Sandler’s career, Téa Leoni’s VERY big performance, using monologues from Spanglish for auditioning and birthdays at a themed restaurant called Mars 2112\. This episode is sponsored by Brooklinen (PROMO: CHECK) and WeTransfer. Music selection: “As I Figure” by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

They should name a gender after you. I mean, looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink so you don't miss anything and all of that. And you're you. I mean, look, forgive me. It's just that you are drop dead, crazy, gorgeous, so much that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we podcast here. God, I'm stressed out.

I just had like an acid flashback thinking about that. There are a lot of lines I could have done, but I wanted to save them for in-depth discussion because there are like seven specific lines of dialogue in this movie that could comprise the entire episode if we just analyze them.

We're convening a congressional subcommittee about this movie and we're going to go in-depth on every line. I know we're recording these episodes far in advance, so I've been holding a hot hand. I have some hot information that isn't public yet at the time of this recording, but by the time the episode comes out, it will be public knowledge. Yeah. Once the Trump-Russia collusion investigation is wrapped up, Robert Mueller has been assigned to head a special committee to investigate Spanglish. Oh, yeah. Spanglish is, it's high time that we send everyone responsible for this movie right to jail.

Right. Spanglish has been legal for far too long. And it's because the fat cats up in Capitol Hill are getting rich off of Spanglish. It's lying in their pockets, so they're not willing to say a goddamn thing. The fucking Spanglish lobbyists. This movie sold 7 million tickets in the United States. That is the final domestic total? I wanted to look up tickets, because I wanted to think about how many people had seen it.

Right, 7 million. 7 million tickets. Okay, so that was in theaters, so since the time it's released, it has been seen by 7 million and 5 people. Yeah, because Adam Sandler does have it on DVD do you know this movie was released on Blu-ray I was just like this is 100% a movie that will never be released on Blu-ray that's like

a format that will never have a complete weirdly it was also released on Laserdisc and fucking UHD 4K and Betamax and Minidisc it was released on 8 Miniddiscs. Could you imagine owning Spanglish on Blu-ray? God, I'd warn that DVD

out. John Seale's lush frames aren't popping the way I need them to. I buy our movies on Blu-ray usually. Did you buy Spanglish? No. Do you know how much it costs on Amazon? How much? Take a guess. Because you've been saying you've been buying them because Blu-rays are so cheap now that it's usually a dollar or two more than renting.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you're saying how much would it cost to buy the film and own it forever on Amazon? I believe I checked today and it was $24. So worth it. Okay, great. There we go. Our guest spoke before he was introduced. Now we can start the podcast.

Hello, everybody. My name is Griffin Newman. David Sims. It's $22.99 right now. Okay. And that's reduced from $27, so... Hot, hot, hot. In stock.

Just imagine ordering it and then a robot has to like, its alarm has to go get it. And someone's like, there's like an old watchman who's like, Spanglish! The Raiders of the Lost Ark music is playing. Like there's like, the robot gets it and like dust sort of like goes everywhere. Somewhere Talion, he just like sits up with us. I feel a great disturbance in the force.

Madam Secretary, would you- She's Madam Secretary, I forgot about that. Oh, I love her as Madam Secretary. I do too. There's a casting crew commentary. Sorry, director and crew commentary. Can I tell people what this podcast is? Yes.

This is Blank Check. It's a podcast about filmographies. Directors who have massive success early on in their career and are given a series of blank checks to make whatever crazy passion projects they want. Sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they bounce baby. True.

This is a mini-series about the films of James L. Brooks. That's right. Of course called As Pod as a Cast. No, it's not. Stop doing that bit, you bastard. David thinks it's called Podcast News. Which it is. Which you confirmed to our art guy.

The truth is subjective. You're the one who sent the email. I thought you were going to make a fuss. Because I'm a professional. Podcast News, people. It's called podcast news yes what do you think Richard

I think that's good I was trying to come up with one for Spanglish but it doesn't work it's not pod pod list podcast list podcast list our guest today of course

one of our favorites one of listeners favorites one of America's favorites yes who wrote and shot and edited Spanglish. He did. I did. Yeah, it was... I mean, Brooks directed, but you did a lot of the other stuff.

I was stuck in kind of a rut with writing my trolls. Which took me 20 years to write that. Of course. I put it in Turnaround myself. It was in many Turnarounds. So as a side project, I mean, I've had this story because it's kind of rattling around.

And this was, to be fair... Wait, there's a story in this movie? No, no, we cut that. To be fair, Spenglish came out of aborted subplots for your trolls. Right, this was... This was like you cut off a limb and then it turned into its own full story.

There was a troll made. My troll, originally the villain, was Taylor Leone. She is the villain of this show. But she was too frightening for the trolls, right? So you had to move her to a PG-13 movie. Right, exactly. Our guest today, you of course know him best

from K-19 The Widowmaker. That's right. Vanilla Sky. True. Leading the Water. Leading the Water. I was going to say, Richard, that's sort of like late 90s early 2000s Saving Private Ryan that's like the zone you're in

you always gravitate right to that zone like me as a teenager or in college host the Little Gold Man podcast writes for Vanity Fair and is now a published novelist at the time this episode is coming out you're at the Host the Little Goldman podcast, writes for Vanity Fair and is now a published novelist. At the time this episode's coming out, you're at the top

of the charts, Richard. Richard Lawson, the great Richard Lawson is here with us today to talk Spanglish. Hola. Do you get that?

So, I just searched for Spanglish in the MPAA and I got no results. Your computer shut down. I wanted to see what it was rated PG-13 for because I thought that would be amusing.

Don't you know this is the only movie to be unrated due to lack of interest? Rating? I don't know. Jack Valenti was like, absolutely not. At any time. See it if you want to. What do I care? The one movie that is simultaneously completely inoffensive and totally offensive.

Yes. And that's unrateable yeah it's a it's a war crime so we've been batting around James Earl Brooks for a long time

we've been batting it around to me this was always the crux of the Brooks argument this one I mean and the next one

and the next one because the money in this movie has weirdly had a kind of long tail as a punchline like people always

cite this as like a weird like more I think within the arc of the Adam Sandler trying to make his dramatic had a kind of long tail as a punchline. Like, people always cite this as, like, a weird, like... More, I think, within the arc of the Adam Sandler trying to make his dramatic or, you know, dramedic, tragicomic career happen, which has never fully gotten off the ground. And it's a dumb fucking title.

Spanglish. Right. But the second we committed to doing it... It's named after the famed General Spanglish of the Civil War, so maybe show some respect? Yes. Five comedy points. Thank you. Just sounds like a general's name.

Yes. The second we committed to Brooks, you threw your hat into the ring. Uh-huh. You needed to do Spanglish because you believe, and will die on this hill, that Taylor Leone's performance in Spanglish is the single bravest performance ever committed to film. Yes, and I had not rewatched it. And rewatching it, I still believe it's brave.

It's also fucking crazy. And she should have left. Like, she should have walked off the set. But I agree with both. Because Taylor Leone is in a different movie than everyone else. Taylor Leone is in a Lars von Trier rom-com. Correct. I think one of the many problems with this movie is everyone's in a different movie.

Agree. Yeah. But yeah, you're right. Talion is in... Yeah, Cloris Leachman's doing pantomime very well. Yeah, yeah, good pantomime. But it is... There is...

People talk about, quote unquote, brave performances. Yeah. And especially with actresses, it's usually a dumb fucking... It means like... Handle... They got naked. performances and especially with actresses it's usually a dumb fucking it means like handle they got naked you get naked or you go through a lot of like abuse or something or you declam it's usually kind of like a loaded weirdly kind of backhanded thing to say like it's brave for you to not be you know right um but this is actually brave because she so fully commits to

not trying in any way to endear herself to the audience at all like at all at all

and it's a complete immolation of her kind of persona at that time of her career it's just like she puts it all on the line

it blows up in her face catastrophically you are watching a career end. Yeah, essentially. But I like, I so deeply respect it. Oh, absolutely.

I've always loved Taya Leone. I've always... She's good. She's one of those actresses where I always go like, how did that not ever fully happen? And then you re-watch Spanglish? Well, there's this weird thing

where I think she is incredibly beautiful. Yeah. She's a very good actor. She has unbelievable comedic timing. She has just incredible fucking chops. She was a great reporter for MSNBC.

100%. She died. Shouldn't have gone to that beach with her dad. Should have gotten in a fucking cave. And she had a lot of big films. She had a run in the 90s where she was placed front and center in a lot of different things that could make someone a movie star. I'm going to pump the brakes on you for a second.

I don't know about a lot, a few. Here's what I want to say. Sure, sure, sure. I think the thing that held her back was there was always kind of a prickliness there that made it difficult for middle America to connect with her. Not to create a break. The flyover states. But there is.

No, no, no. There's this weird. It's not a middle America thing. Metropolitan kind of Not to create a... The flyover states. But there is... No, no, no. There's this weird... It's not a middle America thing. Metropolitan kind of... Sure, I can see that. I can... She's a skinny blonde lady. Uh-huh.

She's, you know, like you said, she's always been, usually been cast in like the flirting with disaster role, which is sort of like one of her early roles, right? Yes.

As the kind of, the business lady in the suit she can be a little a little brittle maybe yes which I like

I think she knows how to play brittle better than most people and gets a lot of comedy she's the love interest in Bad Boys which she's she's good in

but then like if you look at her you know deep impact she's a pain she won't stop asking about this asteroid but she's good at her job

she's good at her job but like you know take it easy okay he'll tell you about Ellie when he's good and ready uh-huh uh jurassic park three yeah she's a fucking pain in the ass in that movie and she makes him go to the dino island to rescue their shit son sorry i'm just mad at her character in the family man right family man

i have seen that what is she she? She's the wife. What is she doing in that one? Well, she's... That's the one where he wakes up and he's not rich anymore. He's like a middle class guy. Right. And everyone thought that that was going to be

a big thing for her. Weirdly. Didn't Brett Ratner direct that? Correct. Yeah, he did. I'd seen that movie. That was him trying to be like, I'm not just the rush hour guy.

Right. Watch, I'm going to make like a human slice of life. Is it literally just that he wakes up in a normal family like that's it no the plot of the movie

is that he had a great love when he was young and he broke up with her it's like a sliding doors thing where it's like here's your life

if you hadn't broken up with her it's 20 years later he's wildly successful but his life is hollow and he breaks up Santa falls off his roof no you know who it is

it's Don Cheadle as a magical homeless man Don Cheadle as a magical homeless man. Don Cheadle is God, right? Or a sort of God-like figure. He's more of an angel figure, but he's got cut-off fingerless gloves.

Yeah, he's like, oh, don't bite me. I'm just keeping warm over here. And he's like, I'm ignoring you. And he's like, oh, it reflects on you. My great-grandfather

Bagger Vance used to say. Yeah. But I remember there being a lot of hype for her in that where they were like, maybe this is the one that will make her like say. Yeah. But I remember there being a lot of hype for her in that, where they were like, maybe this is the one that will make her America's sweetheart. But I think there was that thing where she always knew how to play,

and I use this word carefully, strident people very well. Sure, sure. And she didn't try to make them likable. She played them realistically while bringing other movie star qualities to it. And I think a thing that always handicapped her was that she didn't care about being likable.

And that made people have a hard time to separate. I think didn't care. That's the bravery thing you're talking about. Right. Because in Jurassic Park, she doesn't care about being likable. But people have a hard time separating. In House of D.

Yes. I find this character unlikable from I find this actor unlikable. So I think some people got turned off by her because they were like oh she's always so annoying it's like she plays annoying people very compellingly well right I mean because you know James L. Brooks wrote the character and she saw it she read the script

and she was like okay I'm going to do this and she went full tilt into it this is my melancholia it's one of the this is my anti-Christ it feels like one of those like I've been a big movie star now I'm gonna work with like a gritty European auteur and scrub myself down

and give like a very vulnerable performance except in this like bizarre fucking sitcom-y in which almost everyone else is this angelic very gentle warm like wise person

and she's the lone person in the movie except for maybe Thomas Hayden Church or whatever who like is just this like black hole of awfulness. Who announces herself that way immediately.

But I think it's also, it's like James L. Brooks is, you know, working with him is a dream at this point. He'd made one, he'd made, you know, I'll Do Anything wasn't a hit. But apart from that, it's like, it's James L. Brooks. Of course he'd go work with James L. Brooks. And you know, Tay Leoni had been on The Naked Truth for a few seasons. So she was not, like Helen Hunt. I'll do anything wasn't a hit, but apart from that, it's like, it's James L. Brooks. Of course he'd go work with James L. Brooks. Taylor only had been on The Naked Truth for a few seasons, so she was not like Helen Hunt. She had been on sitcoms

in the 90s, and look what that did for Helen Hunt. Clearly, there was arithmetic to it that made sense. And here's another thing. At this point, going into this movie, he has made four movies. Of those four movies... Three were Oscar-winning hits. Three of them got three different

actors nominated. Yeah, exactly. You know? No, I'm saying I'll do anything fine but you know, even if you're handed like a 400 page script and the whole script is just James L. Brooks being like I feel so guilty that I hired a Mexican maid blah blah blah and you're like well he'll figure it out and you know he always figures it out, right?

Like he always sort of puts it together. I think there's that kind of feeling and then there's also like tayleone if she's there and she's trying to find her place to fit into hollywood it's like who's the right director to work with james l brooks perfect like look at shirley mclean in terms of endearment if he can write that role for me i'll finally connect and look at you know look at um holly hunter like you know holly hunter is is a tayleone of her day in a way. Difficult, messy characters. People who are in equal parts compelling and revolting but ultimately like...

We have now discussed Taeya Leone more than anyone in the history of the planet, right? Oh, I don't know. I've talked a lot about Taeya Leone in my life. That's why we brought you here. So this is our new podcast. It's called Taeya for Two. Taeya Leone. You know, after this this she was in fun

with Dick and Jane which was a hit huge hit the movie doesn't exist but it was a hit she did some movies after this like Ghost Town

which is super underrated I think it's a good movie I like Ghost Town I kind of like it it has one of the best line pairing endings ever where she's like

it hurts to smile he's a dentist and he's like I can fix that for you and then the movie ends it's so good it's really nice she's great, it hurts to smile. He's a dentist and he's like, I can fix that for you. And then the movie ends. It's so good. It's really nice. She's great in it. I think I honestly maybe gave her a Griffey nom that year. Sure. She's really fucking good in it.

And then Tower Heist is the last movie she did, essentially. Where she played Special Agent Claire Denham. And I think she's very good in that one. And then she was nominated to be Secretary of State, a position she still holds in the Trump administration, which I don't understand but Madam Secretary

she's still serving bravely Thursdays at 10 but yeah so she did work and is working but like this movie was a disaster for her

correct this is the film parts become spread out post this and then she hasn't made a movie in five years Fun with Dick and Jane

was a movie I think she shot either before or around the same time because that was a movie that took a while to get to theaters that was also supposed to be Cameron Diaz

who dropped out like two weeks before filming and it was a big deal that it was like oh it was going to be two massive A-list stars and then suddenly like Cameron Diaz

is out who do you replace her with Taylor Leone like this is huge sure and I even remember going into she was also in

Hollywood Ending let's not forget right oh god but I remember before this movie came out when no one had seen it

but it was like James Earl Brooks he's been editing for a year never count him out it was like the hot tip we hear is that it's a real

showcase for Taylor Leone look out save a spot and best actress correct it is a showcase yeah

I mean yes no I remember hearing okay so yes I was a big Oscar watcher at the time I'm sure you were It is a showcase. Yeah. I mean, yes. Yeah. Yes. No, I remember hearing. Okay, so yes, I was a big Oscar watcher at the time. I'm sure you were in a way, Richard. Well, I was in college. Would you say you were an Oscar peeper?

Yeah. Oh, here it goes. Because I know someone who was. I was like, are you going to do it or not? Producer Ben. Hey. Ben Dueser. Producer Ben.

Yes. Poet laureate. I didn't really watch the Oscars in this time. Mr. Positive? I still don't. Mr. Hossett? Yeah. Buckmaster?

Mm-hmm. Meat lover? Fur detective? Yeah. Are you Professor Crispy? No. Can I wish you a hello, Fanon? Sure, but do it on the street and then in the sheet.

That's a whole other thing. Okay. You sick and wet? Not currently. Hold on. Let me take a sip. Oh, man. Wow. Let me take a sip. Oh, man. Wow.

That's a loud sip. So now you're wet inside? Soaking. Of course, you graduate to certain tosses with a course of different majors, such as Kylo, Ben Pruitt, Serbian Kenobi, Ben Night Shyamalan,

Ben Sate, Say Ben Anything, dot, dot, dot, Ailey Bentz with the dollar sign, Warhaz, Purdue Urbane, and B-19, The Fennel Maker, and Robohawks.

Oh, God. Yes. Hey, you know what? Hot take, guys. I like this movie. This is the biggest twist of the whole podcast. Did you know this was coming? Did you have a spoiler? I knew about this. Wow. I kind of like this movie. I think Tay is great.

You know? I know people like this. Tay's on days in like this movie. I think Tay is great. You know, I know people like this. Tay Zonday is in this movie? Tay Zonday. Spanglish. Tay Zonday, Tay Diggs, and Tay Leone. That's a hot Tay. Yeah. It just got like 15 degrees warmer in here.

It did get actually really hot. No, I don't know. I thought this was kind of fun. Maybe the scenes play out a little long. A little? You think so? Just a little. Do you think there was maybe not quite enough narrative tissue to this one? No, there was not enough. But how often does a college

admissions essay have a strong three-act structure? It's true. What is this where they were like, alright, here she is. She wrote a college admissions essay. Do you think they were like all right here she is okay she wrote a college admissions essay do you think they were like oh so your mom's nice and these white women these white people sound awful that's that's that's the whole essay more about this sandwich how did you know all the private conversations that taylor only had with her mother yeah that's true she's in the room like more than you see. Yeah. Keep it.

The sensei has a lot of digressions about her grandmother's alcoholism. Or not her grandmother. Her mother. Her mother's boss's friend. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, your mother's boss's mother. I mean, the first note I'd give is, you know,

stick to your thesis. This is about how your mother's your hero. This salary negotiation scene is interesting, but I'm pretty sure you were in school when you wrote this down. This old jazz crooner trying to kick the bottle? And that was when Frank Bruni called my mother's boss quite simply the best chef in the world. Yeah.

Ben found this movie charming. Yeah. Yeah, Ben's into it. I really, I honestly enjoyed it. It's not a bit, guys. Ben liked this movie've honestly enjoyed it it's not a bit guys Ben liked this movie no it's totally not a bit you went by it you ordered the blu-ray

I did how did you feel about the fact that it was eight hours long well here's the thing I felt like after watching it I was like that was a well spent

evening for sure and then you looked outside and the sun was rising that was the thing about it yeah I watched it on a Sunday afternoon and I just watched as it got darker and darker outside.

I was like, this is so long. I started this at noon. God, is it long. Yeah. Boy. So yes. Well, as you were, as I was saying, I was an Oscar watcher. It felt like dinner theater for me because I ate while I was watching it.

A couple meals, right? Yeah. A couple meals. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He made a stew while you were eating this. You did the full Jimmy McMillan while watching this movie. Oh, my cuckoo van is done now.

Breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Cuckoo van. So, oh boy. You were an Oscar watcher at the time. I was as well, but you were very big on the forums, the message boards. You were riding the boards. Treading the boards, I should say. Yeah, I was treading the forums, the message boards. You were riding the boards. Treading the boards, I should say. Yeah, I was treading the forum, the board forums.

And so like the hot movies of 2004, you had The Aviator. You had Ray. Cyberland. It was a critical Dara Lane. Oh, you had Sideways. That's right, which I guess took the Spanglish slots. Right. And you had Million Dollar Baby came in late and stole a lot of thunder.

It's the spoiler. But everyone was like, keep some you know room for Spanglish like James L. Brooks made a movie it's about Cloris Leachman hasn't won in decades

this is gonna be her comeback role like people like can't don't tip it and there was definitely some talk of like Tay Leoni there was also a lot

of like Paz Vega she's the ingenue this is gonna be like a supporting actress contender yeah and then it came out and

everyone was like, bleh. It actually got a SAG nomination. Cloris Leachman got a SAG nomination. Really? Yeah. And I feel like it got one other nomination. It got a Golden Globe nomination for best score.

Hans Zimmer? Hans Zimmer. Who's like weirdly one of James L. Brooks' closest collaborators and on the Criterion broadcast news is like so effusive. And like 17 different talking head interviews talked about how he's like his favorite filmmaker. Well, the Blom's sound effect was originally in terms of endearment. Yes.

Right? Correct. I just imagine. It also was nominated for three AARP movies for grown-ups. This is a movie for grown-ups. Best screenwriter, best actress, Clarice Leachman. That's right, actress.

An AARP, she's an actress. Did they watch a different cut? And best intergenerational film. That's right. Do you want to know what won? Yeah. That year, 2004. Wait, let me take a guess.

Imagine losing an AARP. Okay, I got to say, I got to say, best intergenerational film. Here are the five nominees. that year 2004 wait let me take a guess imagine losing an ARP okay I gotta say I gotta say best intergenerational film here are the five nominees this is a great lineup okay okay the winner was

Miracle which is fine it's a fine movie Gavin O'Connor I guess it's intergenerational because it's like he's the coach and they're the

yeah then Badass remember Badass by Melvin Van Peebles Mario Van Peebles oh yeah that's a great movie Spanglish

Monsieur Ibrahim with fucking Omar Sharif. Remember that movie? And then The Five Obstructions, the Lars von Trier movie. Those are the five nominees. I think that's a great list. So a Lars von Trier movie and Spanglish were nominated together. Correct. Well, they originally thought Spanglish was one of the obstructions.

It was. That was the confusion. Lars von Trier watched it, and he was like, oh, God. Can you imagine Thomas Hayden Church's agent calling up and going like, Tom, look, I know you rapped on that dumb fucking wine indie.

I finally got you a shot at the Oscar. You're playing the real estate agent. You're going to back a car onto a driveway, out of a driveway, onto the road. That was like my favorite trailer bit of 2016 was

after Moonlight had come out anytime the Collateral Beauty trailer came on and had the moment where Naomi Harris delivers her big like but there is Collateral Beauty all around us if you just know where to look I would turn to whoever I was with and go like, Naomi, I know you got that dumb fucking Moonlight thing out of your system,

but it's time for you to get an Oscar nom. I got collateral beauty right here. A movie I like. I know. You know what? I land closer to your take than most people. I like it a lot less than you do, but I think it is not on the Book of Henry scale of horrificness.

No, and I think it's trying to do something nice. It doesn't really work. I mean, Spanglish is trying to do something nice as well, but it fails spectacularly. I think the script for Collateral Beauty is kind of a nightmare, but I think it's kind of handsomely made. And it's got some good performances. I think it's beautifully filmed. I think it's really well filmed. And made, and it's got some good performances. I think it's beautifully filmed. Franco. Yeah. I think it's really well filmed,

and everyone is pretty good in it. Yeah. And, yeah, I don't know. I don't mind it. I mean, because it's so, it's a movie that's, like, easy to be, like, eh, stupid and make fun of it, but, like. It's also got,

it's got some fucked morality, like, stretch. Oh, yes. Yeah, right, right. Okay, okay, hold that thought. Ben, Ben, I want to talk about this new bedding that I've discovered. What is it? What is it?

It's brooklinen.com. Brooklinen, like, bed sheets. Oh, sure. I've seen these ads on the subway. Well, I had to, actually. I actually even talked to people at Audioboom where I was like, I like those Brooklinen ads. I want some Brooklinens.

They look cool. Yeah. And, you know spend you spend a third of your life in in your sheets you know yeah it's time to get a good good idea to upgrade them get better sheets you're spending eight hours a day at least at least hello get some good sheets i prefer 10 personally well you know yeah perfect world um so yeah so we we've got this new sponsor brooklinen.com they make the best most comfortable sheets with uh no big markup and uh they've got you know different like levels of

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They found out that like most bedding is marked up like three, 300%. And, uh, they just sort of did away with that. And they've like won the best online bedding category and good housekeeping. You know,

this is, these it's, it's like fancy sheets but it's not so expensive also i'm wondering do they have versatile colors and patterns ben yeah i am so glad you asked that question what's up they have versatile colors and patterns thank god because like you know you can get your gray your blues your whites your blacks but oh you want a stripe yes little saucy stripe i want a pattern maybe you want to your blacks but oh you want a stripe yeah a little saucy stripe i want a pattern maybe you want to mix things up maybe i want a vaporwave sheet

sure i think vaporwave might be in like beta for them right now the vaporwave sheets cool cool maybe you want a solid flat sheet but then you know pattern on the duvet whatever man i like they can mix and match uh anyway uh my brooklyn sheets i got the lux brand personally i consider myself a pretty lux guy humble right uh are the best most comfortable sheets that i've slept on they uh yeah instant instant upgrade over the uh look i'm not going to disparage but like the the crap i had before and uh, we have an exclusive offer for our listeners. Oh shit. Well,

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Maybe I should give it to you one more time. Well, I was wondering, how do I make a check sign? Thank you. Thank you for bringing this up. See, it was sort of a lost expression in your eyes. Yeah, no, I was like trying to think, is it command option nine? your eyes yeah no i was like trying to think is it command option nine no you go to b-r-o-o-k-l-i-n-e-n dot com promo code check oh the word check like in the title of our podcast i get it all right

so that's brooklyn and the best sheets ever uh so james l brooks in between as good as it gets in spanglish you know he produces What About Joan? And Riding Cars With Boys. And he's doing a lot of The Simpsons. I guess so. I don't know how involved he is with The Simpsons by that point. I think he's still very hands-on on the show. By all accounts.

Hands-on? By all accounts. All right. Yes. I don't think he's doing much. He also, of course, famously just takes a long time to write his movies. He really attacks them from all angles. Seven years in between each film.

Pretty much. And he also, at this point, Gracie Films has had a couple very successful graduates. But he is like, I want to nurture voices and let them direct their own scripts. Like Yardley Smith? Like Yardley Smith. Great voice actor.

Yes, voices like Hank Azaria. No, you fool! Wes Anderson, you know, Bottle Rocket and Cameron Crowe with Say Anything. He's now had a couple protégés who have gone on to like by this point

Wes Anderson's ascended, Cameron Crowe's ascended. He also worked on Jerry Maguire. Right. So, you know, as good as it gets was coming off of a flop, a film that had a very belabored production schedule, people weren't sure how it was going to turn out, and then it's a huge fucking success.

Wins a bunch of Oscars. So everyone goes like, well, yeah, I mean, never bet against Brooks, takes his time, he casts Sandler, one of the biggest leading men at this point in time. Sure. He had done Punch Drunk Love, biggest leading men at this point in time. Sure. He had done Punch Drunk Love, right? Yes, he cast him off of that.

Okay. Yes, he liked his performance in Punch Drunk Love. But he was on a pretty solid run of Sandler comedies at this point in terms of box office. In terms of box office? Absolutely. Yes. In terms of acclaim? No.

He had gotten one. He had done one prestigey move. And he didn't have that kind he'd yeah he got one prestige he moved and he did and he didn't have that kind of mean energy that he developed later you know yeah sure um and and all that resentment people have about the shitty netflix movies and like his weird thing and funny people like this is like he's still kind of beloved and in the sense of him feeling lazy yeah um i mean you know the thing that paul thomas Thomas Anderson tapped into really well is the central anger of Adam Sandler, which is the key to making him work. Right.

And it's what Baumbach uses so well in Meyerowitz stories. It's the juxtaposition between his sort of like, oh, bashful little boy, mumbly kind of puppy dog thing. And then this rage churning inside. And then this poiled rage inside. And as Rain Over Me me showed it's best when it's on a segue yes it's best when playing playstation 2 um i think shortly after this point uh sandler crosses a threshold where he becomes a little too old for the man boy thing to be charming. Well, after this, the next year is the longest yard, which,

whatever, that's just sort of the gimme sports. And he does click. And he does click, which is him being like, let me make another big daddy, sort of heartstring tugger. And move into my 40s.

Sure, sure, I'm back growing up. And then, then he does the double whammy of Rain Over Me and I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry.

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry is a tough one to shake. A film written by Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor. Yeah. I mean, some version of that film was written by them, right? They, I believe, wrote the original version. Right. Which I've heard was good. Yeah.

Sure. I could buy that it was better. Yeah. Yes. Of course, they shrunk someone in that movie. They did. Yeah. I kept trying to work that in.

Tiny and little. And then Zohan in 08. And Bedtime Stories. Zohan's great. Bedtime Stories is a disaster. Are Zohan's... I've seen it. What are its politics like?

Interesting. Yeah? Weird. Weird. I mean, weird. I mean, its politics are nominally like, you know, that the peace is a good thing and everyone should just be friends. But he's like in Mossad in the movie, right? Yeah.

Like what's interesting about Zohan is that the politics aren't good and they're not bad. You know what I'm saying? There's like elements of both. It's actually trying to tackle it. Like it's not being glib. A studio comedy about Israel is kind of crazy. It was written by Apatow, Smigel, and Sandler. And I remember reading this long article in the Times about them being like,

can you write funny jokes about the Israel-Palestine conflict? And it was also like, they tried to write it when Sandler first got big and had his first called Big Hits. And they were like, great, here's our passion project. And they were like, go fuck yourself. It took like 10 more years of Sandler as an A-lister. Here's my passion project. Write no on a piece of paper.

Right. It was like post-Big of Sandler. Here's my passion project. Write Noah on a piece of paper. Right. Like it was like post Big Daddy they tried to make this. And then 10 years later and then Apatow had become bigger. They finally like got them. It's just, it has a lot of weird funny jokes. There's something, I haven't seen it in a long time, but I remember. But then Bedtime Stories, Grown Ups. That's where he's really slipping into just like, I'll just do a movie.

Bedtime Stories is the one with Keri Russell? Yes. Yes. Yes, and Russell Brand's in that one? Who's the love interest in Click or the wife? Beck and Sale. Beck and Sale. Oh, God, that's right. And then in Grown Ups, it's Hayek.

Right. Chuck and Larry, it's Beale. And then in Just Go With It, it's like a sandwich of Nicole Kidman, Jennifer Aniston, and Brooklyn Decker or something, right? Kidman is a rival for Aniston. Okay. Aniston's his fake wife because Decker or something, right? Like everyone's throwing themselves. Kidman is a rival for Aniston. Okay. Aniston's his fake wife because Decker is his real girlfriend,

but he has to seem like he has a family order to get a promotion. It's something like that. Just go with it. Just go with it. That's the other thing. The movie's become like he's now insanely wealthy. He lives a very, very luxurious life but is miserable, is mean to everyone around him,

and dates beautiful, beautiful women who he resents. You mean in his movies? In the movies. And then that becomes like, Spanglish weirdly is the beginning. But in the middle of all that, he makes Funny People, which is like this confessional,

great movie. Anyway, Sandler. He's a fascinating career. Yeah, so this movie, like James L. Brooks, clearly sees the like, punch drunk love thing where everyone sort of went like,

oh, he clearly is a good actor if you know how to use him, if you frame him in the right way. He sees the Albert Brooks in him. 100%. Right? Yes. But then what's weird is he completely

neuters him in this movie. He just wants to make him the shy puppy dog thing. He is so inoffensive in this movie and it's so bizarre because Talioni is so strident and so unlikable. Everything is her fault. And so tone deaf and right. And they try to make

Sailor totally innocent. Not only that, and he is. He's like a dumb little puppy. To the extent that, I'm jumping ahead, but in the scene at the end of the restaurant between him and Paz Vega, when they finally express something about their emotions, you A, have no idea where they came from, and mean, I'm jumping ahead, but like in the scene at the end of the restaurant between him and Paz Vega, when they finally express something about their emotions, you A, have no idea where they came from, and B, it's

like two little kids because they're both so, I mean, she gets angry and he gets angry. They're infantilized. He seems developmentally disabled in this movie. Because of the way the character's written. You know, totally. Look, I think there's some germ of an idea that he's like it's like oh he's

the good cop and she's the bad cop right like right that is expressed at the beginning of the movie yeah but he like you say he wrote the albert brooks character broadcast news like he knows how to find the interesting part of that character like the the sort of hang dog nice guy you know and then he just forgot to put it in this character. In broadcast news, he makes Albert Brooks, who's the guy you want to root for, also a piece of shit. And say a bunch of really awful stuff. And he makes William Hurt, who's the guy who's a piece of

shit who you want to root against, do a lot of very nice things. What he used to get. Everyone's complex. And in this movie, no one is complex. And you loved it. What are your thoughts? You're burning up on that mic. I just wanted to say I think Sandler's one of the

great comic yellers. Agreed. And they don't use him at all. There's only a couple of moments. So I really agree. That's the moment you bottle the rage and then have it burst out. He didn't get to do anything in this movie. Again, I do like it though. I mean, it's just like his character. I didn't get it. I didn't get enough. He in this movie. Again, I do like it though. I mean, it's just like his character.

I didn't get it. I didn't get enough. He just seems tired this whole movie. Very tired. Yeah. And he even says at one point, like, can I just get, he just complains about everyone kind of bringing their shit to him and whatever. And it's like, do you just want to leave the movie?

I don't know. He just does. And I'll say like a terrible movie that I think he's very good in and you're probably about to get really angry at me, is Men, Women, and Children. That's an awful movie. It's an awful movie. He's fine in it.

I think he's very good in it. Very good is strong, but he's pretty good. I'll stand for it. I dare you to watch that movie again. I never will, but I really like his performance in it, but I think that's one where he doesn't ever blow up, but they use the fact that you can see the simmer underneath it. On the surface, that performance, he also just seems

a totally zoned out, hand-packed dude. A lot of times when comedic actors go serious, they just turn off all effect and they're just completely blank. I think he does that to some extent, but at his best, there is a sort of fluidity.

There is dimension to it, but like, at his best, there is a sort of fluidity. There is, you know, dimension to it, but it's not always employed. It's kind of like how Mark Wahlberg can be great if he's in the right thing, but like, if he's not,

he's horrible. He's terrible in all the money in the world. He's terrible. He had a long talk about it. The thing with Mark Wahlberg is he needs to play someone who has a chip on their shoulder.

He needs to play a character that has something to prove. If you put him in all the money in the world and it's like, this guy's got it all figured out. Trust him. He is so boring.

He's like a comedian going straight. Yeah. Where he loses all his energy. Um, Paz Vega. I don't know. Paz Vega. No,

no. It's just every scene with Sandler is someone comes, like you say, someone comes to him and is like, you know, like there's some conflict and he's like, okay, right. What's going on? All right. It should be, which is where you know like there's some conflict and he's like okay what's going on

it should be okay which is where you kind of want to infer some autobiography on Brooks' part right because you're like why else is this this way you know why is the movie so imbalanced between the two leads and I guess Pat Spade is ostensibly the third lead right of the movie

sure she's the lead I guess but I mean the movie but she's so non-human in a way that she doesn third lead, right, of the movie? Sure. She's the lead, I guess. But it's a three-hander. But she's so non-human in a way that she doesn't even register as one of the main characters. I don't know, but at the same time, David, you and I were talking about it over text a little bit. Is this a movie about James L. Brooks trying to justify why he wants to fuck his maid?

Maybe that was it. I don't know, maybe. I think it's a guilty movie. There's something guilty. I don't mean that he's guilty of wasn't really dealing with... I think it's a guilty movie. It's a guilt. There's something guilty. I just don't know. But I don't mean that he's guilty of a crime. No. I think the movie...

It's a white guilty movie. It's a white guilt movie about... A class guilt. Right, and a class guilt movie about I can't believe that I employ these human beings to do bullshit in my house. And they're real people, and I need to acknowledge that.

I know that I'm in a bubble. Right. And rather than figure out how to break out of that bubble, I'm going to make a movie about being in the bubble. Right, but then the movie's just going to feel like told from the most faraway bubble possible. You know what I mean? So like two years ago, I think,

my family and I went to a Thanksgiving dinner with my grandmother. Not to throw my grandmother under the bus, but I'm about to throw my grandmother under the bus because I kept on thinking about this while watching Spanglish. And there was like, we were in Tennessee where my fucking family goes for the holidays, and there was like a band playing music, right? There were a couple

guys with like banjos and stuff. And she just turned to me and she went, I look at people like that and I wonder, who are they? What lives do they live? And I went, probably a musician. And then she went and wrote and directed

the big list. Right, like that's what this movie feels like. James L. Brooks overheard that conversation. Oh, fascinating. Right,

like he was like, oh, I just had a profound thought. My maid has a life. Right, right. My maid has interiority and agency.

You guys are missing the point. It's like a, it's like a modern Dylan song. You know what I mean? Or it's like a, it's like a Tom Waits song or something. It's like over here you got the You know what I mean? Please expand on that thought. It's like a Tom Waits song or something. It's like over here you got the maid.

She escaped from Mexico with her daughter. You got the struggling housewife. Maybe she's taking pills and stuff. Over here, here's the chef. He's accomplished, but he's trying to connect with his kids. He doesn't get along with his wife. Here's the fat girl. You know what I mean?

It's like an ensemble. I mean, five stars. Best picture. I have to apologize to Sony Pictures Home Entertainment because they're now gonna have to reissue Spanglish with it's like a modern Tom Waits

song as the pull quote. Well, Scarlett Johansson's gonna remake it. Yes. Three comedy points. Yes. This movie just feels to me of that sort of bubbly like faux empathy of like look at me I want you to know that I'm considering

they have lives I think that there is something my grandmother's not a nice person it's the most insane movie I've ever seen but there is something there is a glimmer of an idea there that works. And I think that when he's trying to articulate like, have you guys seen Dear Evan Hansen?

I have, yes. Have you? Yes, I have. I do not like that musical at all. But one thing it gets right is that awkward social tension of the kid wanting to spend more time at the friend's house

because the parents are nicer to him or they have more shit or whatever. And I think that that's a very familiar sort of like just you know kind of close-hitting and just like social angst that people have. And I think that Spanglish does that really well in certain moments of like

Talia only not realizing that like taking the girl out you know is a big deal or just like the kind of casual approach to money where she's like $50 is a lot of money. And so I think if you get stuck on that... Those scenes are decent little ideas, like little tiny stories. I mean, the reason why we're covering James L. Brooks

is that even when he whiffs, there are slivers that are so frustrating because you're like, you're onto something insightful, you can't figure out how to articulate it, and it's also buried in a pile of bullshit. But I think like you look at Terms of Endearment, which has a very epic scope to it but is a very focused story.

It's just about the relationship between these two women with a lot of other characters coming in and out of their lives. Broadcast News is about the dynamic of the three of them but it has so much going on. And then he starts to go like

you've said the thing about how you think some performances ruin some actors. Like Cate Blanchett doing Streetcar Named Desire. On stage, she's never been able to totally drop Blanche DuBois since then. And I feel like similarly, broadcast news

ruined James L. Brooks and that he keeps on trying to be like, you know, like the thing I did in broadcast news. Yeah, he becomes self-conscious. I'm doing a thousand plot lines, I have a hundred characters, I'm considering a bunch of different elements. Yes. But broadcast news, right,

has the advantage that it's set in a news station, right? It has a world he totally understood and spent his time studying. As good as it gets, his whole pitch is like, what if a guy was an asshole? That's his whole pitch for as good as it gets. As good as it gets, he rewrote a pre-existing script. Sure.

Right, yes. It wasn't his idea. I rewatched as good as it gets over rewrote a pre-existing script sure right yes it wasn't his idea and I like I rewatched as good as it gets over over the holiday and it's a good it's still a good movie I like it but like but yeah but I mean people will listen to our episode they will it's one of those things where it's like well no the character

is a racist sexist homophobe it's just the character but Brooks got away with it and so I think he was like oh oh, so I'm good. I've got it figured out. And Nicholson. Also, it helps when you have a guy who's proven the audience follows him wherever he goes. So maybe that kind of emboldened him to be like,

okay, well now I'm going to tackle this thing I see every day in LA. And it's like, no, but you didn't. That's not the same thing. Right. That's true. But also, as good as it gets, the pitch is the guy's an asshole. The Spanglish, the pitch is nothing.'s an asshole the Spanglish the pitch is nothing there's no pitch

this movie doesn't have a story at all and also as you say apart from it's a Tom Waits song and now I understand that and it is a Tom Waits song and I think we need to get that on the record

but like the whole pitch of the movie is she moves to Malibu for three months with these people right I guess which is so right but as you said

the daughter angle is the most interesting angle to the movie it's weirdly the superstructure because of this fucking college essay and the narration but so often Which is so... As you said, the daughter angle is the most interesting angle to the movie. It's weirdly the superstructure because of this fucking college essay and the narration. But so often she kind of gets lost within the main body of the film other than as narration or like a bargaining chip between these people. Sure. And I also think that dynamic is interesting. But the way it's so often played is...

Tay Leoni cannot stop buying stuff for this girl. Like pathologically cannot stop purchasing. Well, that's the way that she expresses both love and also criticism, is by buying stuff. And that Paz Vega hates money. I'm saying the reductive way it ends up coming across very often in the movie is just like, Paz Vega throws money at the wall.

Yes, it does happen two times in a row. Okay, let's get into the story of Spanglish, which I just alleged does not exist. Okay, so it starts with an envelope being opened in a college admissions boardroom. I really wish that was like, I know it's not that far in the future because the girl's 12 years old, but it was like there were jetpacks

and flying cars going by. It was like Clifford, you know? He and Jim should make a sci-fi movie. Bicentennial Man is there reading essays exactly this is a good one

I know he doesn't talk like that has there ever been a good college admissions essay movie made because it's a it's a weird well

I know you want to talk about admission now well and also I think that's an underrated movie me and Earl and the Dying Girl oh god that's right

which is the same movie where it's all the superstructure of here's how I learned from right. Which is the same movie where it's all the superstructure of here's how I learned from other people. And I hate that structure where he's like, and when she died

I really learned a lot. You know, Bates College. Whatever it is. I was very close to being the boy in admission. And I felt

a real missed opportunity because I read that script and I was like, oh fuck, this is going to be an Oscar player. Oh, well, it wasn't that. It comes out in January.

Yeah, it came out in January, like 18 months later. Yeah. But no, I think the device is unfair because the daughter isn't really a character. I mean, she is,

but she's just kind of this thing. No, she's not really. She is played by Shelby Bruce. And also, I know that these are supposed to be complicated characters, and we'll get to it, but the decision that Pasavica's character makes at the end vis-a-vis her schooling,

that to me, it's like, no. This is not such a tribal ideology that they will not let them do anything in this sort of white world or whatever. But that is how James L. Brooks thinks of it because in the beginning of the movie is, what's the daughter's name?

Christina. Spanglish. Yes, Christina Spanglish. She tells a story like her mother immigrated to America. It's her hero. You have to write a college essay on your hero. Yeah, she's writing about her hero. They don't stay in Texas because it's not Hispanic enough.

They go to Los Angeles. 72% or whatever. 48. 72. I mean, that's... 96? Yeah, exactly. 420. Oh, come on. We're just saying numbers. And then apparently they live in Los Angeles

in the part where no white person has ever visited. They're like living on Oliver Street basically. They live in fucking Diagon Alley where you have to like tap on the right brick to enter, you know. Right. And she's literally never. And then they say like. She doesn't speak.

This is why she doesn't speak English. I think this is James L. Brooks is like. Right. But no matter. She learns in three days later. So. Well, excuse me. IMDB trivia.

Excuse me. The tape that Floor uses to learn English is a real tape. Excuse me. Correction. That excuse me, the tape that Floor uses to learn English is a real tape. Excuse me, correction. That's a piece, Floor,

Floor. I'm terrible at rolling my eyes. I was trying to do it, I can't do it. We're Jews, we should be able

to do that. We should be able to do that. Pazvega spoke no English when she was cast in the film, and they had a

translator on set who had to translate between her and James L. Brooks. For real. On the set. Spanglish. And she kept being like, okay. But every time they gave her a paycheck, she'd throw it back at James L. Brooks. Walk to the bus.

I can imagine James L. Brooks was like, this is great. It's like Spanglish. The movie I made. You're in Los Angeles, which is 48% Hispanic. Right. I think you mean 115, but go on. It's 187%.

Why cast a Spanish from Spain actress in this role? My guess is that this is just not something that pops into a casting agent's head at this time, right? They said there were three heavy contenders for the role. There was

Eva Mendes, who was big at this moment. There was Eva Longoria, who was really popping at this moment. Desperate Housewives is this year, so it had just started. So she was like a big deal. And then Paz Vega had not done an American film, but Sex and Lucia was like this big, independent sort of thing. And she was like a big deal. Right. And then Paz Vega had not done an American film, but Sex and Lucia was like

this big independent sort of thing. Right. And she was the surprise winner of the role. Right. Despite being the wrong ethnicity. Right. Eva Longoria is the only one

of the actresses we just named who's Mexican. Because Eva Mendez is Cuban. Oh, really? Okay. And Paz Vega is Spanish. And she's... And the thing about her being Spanish,

like, that's a racial... I mean, if you want to break it down... Yeah, it's an accent thing Spanish, and she's... And the thing about her being Spanish, like, that's a racial... I mean, if you want to break it down... Yeah, not only that, it's an accent thing. Yeah, she's European. Right, right. But it's also, I mean, like, because she had been in Talk to Her. She's, you know, the naked body that they...

in the weird short film part of that. Uh-huh. And she'd been in this... Is it the Talioni husband? Sandler. Right. Sarah Steele. And she's in

Sex and Lucia which was like this sort of like racy Spanish movie from like 2000 which I remember like the fuss that one caused

everyone's uncle couldn't stop raving about it because it was like the movie that your older relatives would be like I usually take them

to foreign films and he hates them but he loved this one I just thought it was well shot right it was the Rochelle Rochelle of its year.

Right. It's a movie with like on-screen masturbation and stuff. Sure. It's one of those. But like Spain makes like 18 of those a year. But this one popped. People like it. But she, like, and I remember Gael Garcia Bernal was in Bad Education, the Amor de Var movie.

Like maybe, when is that? Is that 2003 or is it 2004 that same year 2003 or 2004 and like I remember the fuss people made because he's Mexican and like where they were like you know I knew Spanish people who like he really nailed the accent like it's so hard and he really pulled it off like what an impressive achievement I don't know how she's doing with her accent because again I'm not I don't have the ear for this not Spanish speakers might not be uh very good feels off to me I don't know it feels off but i can't speak i have no idea that's it i think she's good in the movie in as much as she's a very charismatic performer like yeah i think she is good in the movie her character just doesn't make any sense most people most of the actors in this movie are like in a

vacuum kind of good yeah but it's just like I don't know. I can't really endorse it. Every single character is ill-conceived. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess so. Or maybe it's more like a ballad. So she moved to L.A. Is this your favorite movie we've ever covered on the podcast, Ben? It's like top ten.

Top ten. Ben should do a ranking someday. So they moved to LA, but then why does she need more money? They have two jobs that amount to this amount. They set it up that

she's at... Oh, it's a boy puts a hand on Christina's ass. She's at a dance or something and she sees that and she's like, oh, I can't work at night because if I do...

She's going to get in trouble. Right. So she has to have a job that pays, you know... At least $450 a week. Which she works during the day rather than having to work at night and can be home with her.

She's super overprotective. To be more protective, she decides to get a job all the way across the town. Where she has to take a bus right to the other side of town. She gets this job because her sister knows someone or her cousin or something.

Who functions as a translator, which Tay Leone thinks that she's interviewing the cousin for the job until she realizes. And that interview scene is one of the strangest things I've seen in a long time. It's so...

That's, so, right. Full floppy hat, sunglasses. This is where it's like the movie is like getting injected into us like, you know, like real like... It turns into existence at this point.

It's like a thing that's tapped into our spine that we're having to experience. We're like real like it turns into existence at this point and you're really like a thing that's tapping to our spine that we're having to experience like contact lenses are being

put on our eyes it's a squid at this point right this movie yes exactly and it's so unnerving because you're trying to

figure out what Tay Leone is doing or who is she supposed to be right and she just keeps kind of zigging and zagging you're like what

what is the energy simultaneously Leachman's zigging and zagging so you're like or who she's supposed to be. And she just keeps kind of zigging and zagging. You're like, what is the energy here? Simultaneously, Leachman's zigging and zagging. So you're like, which one am I supposed to be watching? It's like you're trying to beat up a ball and shell it. Yeah, exactly. It's three-card Monty. You're like, which one should I be paying attention to? Someone's trying to con me here.

I just don't know who. Someone's stealing my money. Right. But it's a very bizarre scene in which Taylor Leone keeps on like saying kind of offensive things and then over explaining her like shame over what she said.

Oh, and they have the cousin inexplicably walk into a glass door. They've never seen glass before. Oh, no, I forgot about that. Right. This kind of seals the interview right away, in fact.

Because the first thing they do is walk into a glass door because it's too clean or whatever, I guess.'t you know right and then taylor only tips her twenty dollars for her i believe it gives her for money she has a little pot she's a coffee cup just full of is a coffee fifty thousand dollars and it's like is that a thing i've never seen that before i could imagine a coffee can with loose change in it. It's like a money clip of 20s are in there.

It's like so much money. It's like something a drug dealer would have. My grandparents used to keep an envelope of cash in their underwear drawer for emergencies. They were like $2 bills. I have four of them. He's at a print rickety. Do you know that emergencies. Right, but they were like $2 bills. Exactly, yeah. I have four of them. Look.

He's out of print, Ricky. The cousin's nose is... Do you know that, Ricky? This is the thing about Spanglish. Every scene is like the Zapruder film where you want to just slow it down and frame by frame. So the cousin's nose is bleeding

because she hit her face on the glass. Hot Vegas don't silent at this point. is monologuing about three things at once, including that she should have gotten stickers for the glass door. And she says, I'm and she says I'm not mad as if she would be mad that the woman walked in her door which is like her catchphrase

I think that's why James L. Brooks started with that and built the whole character around it I'm not mad and then she throws money at her and then she's like I just did that was I supposed to do that? why did I do that? she's got no internal monologue

and then finally they sit down. She realizes she's interviewing this other woman who doesn't even speak English. Yeah. And a salary negotiation begins and she asks for $1,000 a week and everyone's quiet and then they all start laughing and then like so now they've established like. Oh cause that's a big

thing. The ceiling of the money she can ask for. $50,000 a year for that job when it's six days a week and it's like morning till night. And do whatever the fuck you want is reasonable. Right. A hundred percent. Right. Is this movie set in like 1979?

Like, why is that unreasonable? But also, Tay Leoni makes her really uncomfortable talking about how beautiful she is. Yes. How beautiful Path of Vegas is. Right. And then the money thing is like, so how much do you want? And she's like, whatever, tell me. She's like, what are you offering? And she's like, no, no, no. If you ask too little,

I won't think anything of you. And if you ask too much, like you're being arrogant or something like that. No, it's about what she thinks of herself. She goes, this is a big test. If you ask too little, I know you don't value yourself. And if you ask for too much, I'll think you're arrogant. Which is perverse. So it's like, what the fuck are you, what sociological experiment is this?

So she throws out the 1,000, ha ha, oh, never mind, it was a joke, quattro comedy points. Right, and so they settle on 650, which is about 30 grand a year. So she signals to the... Yeah, she goes like six. So then they feel really flush, and she takes her daughter out to dinner.

She's making $200 a week more than she was so she's happy right so she takes the daughter out to dinner at a restaurant

the daughter sits down sees the prices oh wow puts the napkin over which is kind of a nice little Brooks moment it's like these moments where he like gets at something

and then like these are these Brooks moments though where then like the waitress comes over and she's like these guys want to buy you a drink and it's like five minutes of this okay so this is a scene i

really want to talk about okay not for what happens but it is a brook scene you know what i mean every screenwriter would tell you like we we don't need this you can lift this out of 100 that's why i want to talk about the scene because it's not ben's saying to stretch it out this episode's running too short uh this scene is somehow a perfect encapsulation of everything he's getting wrong in this movie as opposed to what he used to do right. What I find really interesting about Brooks is that he was a sitcom guy, but his sitcoms had this weird kitchen sink pathos to them. Sure, definitely.

Like they were sitcoms about the types of people that usually weren't starring in sitcoms. There was a visual kind of griminess to them. There was a grittiness to them. It was people you weren't used to seeing star in TV shows. And there was a specificity and emotional and psychological messiness to it. But still, everyone goes, well, you can't make movies. It's sitcoms. It's dumb.

It's broad. You won't know how to do it. And then he makes movies, and everyone goes, wow, look at him. He's a real filmmaker, there's a real humanism here, these films have a real look, they're not shitty, like, multi-camera sitcoms. And then, over the course of,

I think as good as it gets is The Fulcrum Point. Starts to look like a sitcom. Performances, despite being good, are more sitcom-y. And then you get to Spanglish and how do you know? And everyone is doing, like, full multi-camera broad mugging. Every moment has to be played as largely as possible. Nothing can be subtle. If there's a physical moment, it has to be an insert shot up close, underlined.

Right. And imagine watching an episode of a sitcom for two and a half hours. Right. It's so exhausting. And everything's so brightly lit, regardless of whether they're indoors, they're indoors outdoors natural light sunlight like everything looks like an episode of friends yeah like on fucking crack john seal baby so this like it's and he has good collaborators and like hon zimmer doing a score that's just like infuriating it's an annoying score but you watch this scene where it's like okay he's trying to get out of a certain subtle dynamic oh we get dine out, but my daughter's self-conscious at the price, so I want to block her from this.

But the men here, I want to shield her from this. But everything is cranked up to like a 17. Sure. Until it feels like a fucking guitar solo rather than being like a sort of like little, a little ditty, you know? I don't know what, yeah. I mean, sure. What's the point of that scene, Richard? He just talked for 15 minutes.

Well, you think that what's gonna... I mean, maybe this is me just sort of... You know, maybe it's good that he doesn't give you... This is you. Oh, Circus Musical. But you think... Look off, it's here. Sorry.

I hate that fucking song. Hey, never enough. Never enough, I love. Never enough. From now on, we won't talk about it. Yeah. Sorry, that was another circus musical reference but you think that this scene is going to be like they're rude to her or you know they say you can't eat here or whatever which would be hack and stupid it would

be hack and stupid but at least it like fits into the context of the movie right what is this doing reaffirming that she passes the waitress's test because the waitress goes like good yes you know but like and like and it's like okay so it's proving that she's hot, great. But I think that what it's really trying to do is set up this weird, moralistic kind of conservative bent that she has. Sure. The whole weird thing about this character for me is that he's trying to set her up as this woman of such unimpeachable values.

She knows what she believes in and what she will take a stand against and she's trying to raise her daughter with very clear lines of who she needs to be. But instead, it mostly just comes off as she hates everything. Yeah, she's very reactionary. Very. Like, in general.

Like, everything is sort of troubling. Like, you don't really get the sense of positive lessons that she's teaching her daughter, just what she's telling her daughter not to do none of it really makes sense because she takes this job that like is totally upending it now obviously like there's this economic economic underpinning to it so fine i mean that's that's more than enough justification for her to take the damn job but like it's weird how bewildered she is by everything like she's never encountered it's weird how bewildered she is by everything.

Like, she's never encountered, like, rich people before. Well, it's like she walked out of the, like, this is, like, the 19, I don't know, like, early 1900s. Like, her value system is so, she's just horrified by America, and she's supposed to have lived there for however many years. Like, this movie is, like,

it's not even, like, a fish out of water comedy. It's James L. Brooks being, like, well, you know, like, you know, their culture is more traditional. Like, it's, like, right? He has every, everything is there. It's so condesc, their culture is more traditional. Like, it's like, right? He has every thing is there. It's so condescending. And it's so extreme that it doesn't play as a

fish out of water comedy. It plays like enchanted, where it's like she comes from a different dimension. Yeah, she looks like Taylor and she's fucking like mouse doing. It's basically like he just said something and then wrote dash African proverb. It's so like novelizing said something and then wrote dash African proverb. It's so like noveltizing of like actual people.

Yes. I don't know. I wonder what kind of person that is. Here's my impression of Spanglish. Because I feel like the first half hour, it's like jam packed with events. Do your impression of Spanglish. I don't know. The first half hour is like so much shit.

And then I feel like the movie just kind of like dies Taylor Leona leaves the movie because she starts having an affair right and just disappears her and Adam Sandler have three scenes together

in the entire movie is that how affairs work that you just leave the house fully visible to your mother and daughter at night time yeah yeah

Thomas Hayden you're just like I have to go to a place now where are you going I'll see you later yeah nothing and so but in this first half hour

like Brooks is ladling on all this info about everyone right so like we got Cloris Leachman drinking from her like goblets who used to be like an old standards crew

yeah she's I don't know she's Barbara Cook or something but like lit all the time you know who it was meant to be right it was meant to be

Anne Bancroft the actress who then got ill and Cloris Leachman jumped in late it You know who it was meant to be, right? It was meant to be Anne Bancroft, the actress. Who then got ill and Cloris Leachman jumped in late. It definitely feels like it was written for Anne Bancroft. It feels like it was written for a very, you know, yes, a classy sort of like husky voice broad. And Anne Bancroft has- But Taylor Leone is way more plausible as Cloris Leachman's daughter.

Agreed. But Anne Bancroft as a character type was very good at that sort of like affected Jewish impression of waspiness. You're just thinking of The Graduate. I think that was a lot of her. Yes. Also her vibe, you know. The Jewish wasp is a very specific type of person and the person who regales you with their greatness and all of that sort of stuff. She hadn't done a movie since Heartbreakers.

And she's good in Heartbreakers. You know, I never saw Heartbreakers. Heartbreakers is on Durand. Well, I was going to go see it, the Holloway Odeon in London. Where? Why would you see it in London? What were you doing there?

Were you on vacation or something? Yeah, maybe. Who knows? And they canceled the screening. The projector broke. Really? So that's why I never saw Heartbreakers. I think I saw them at least twice in theaters.

And your heart was broken. Exactly. Forever. And you walked home in the rain with the double-decker buses splashing you. And I said, I'll never see a David Merkin joint again. That's right. I know who the director of Heartbreakers is. Congratulations.

Yeah. Ding dong. Ding dong. Ding dong. Okay, get the door, Griff. Let me get the door. Which member of the Mario family

is this? Hey. Yeah, not sure. Hey. Hey, hi. How's it going? It's a me, Mario. Hey, you sound a little different in real life. yeah i mean come on that's an offensive stereotype who would talk like that in real life luigi who was just here a little while ago he was doing that thing okay yeah that guy does not know how to turn it off see i'm a clock in clock out kind of guy you know so and you're saying right now you have clocked out i've

clocked out i mean i will not fix a single pipe right now you know what i'm gonna talk like a real person can i can i be honest with you yeah i don't feel like you fix a lot of pipes well look hey look i don't i don't come to where you work and slap the pipe out of your hand look you mostly like squash like mushroom beings and stuff yeah after going down a pipe i don't understand all right all right i don't i'm not here to split my way i crouch down i go into them right and then i stomp on some koopas yeah all right well fair enough then I stomp on some Koopas yeah alright well fair enough what are you doing here?

do you like having Koopas? well I'm in a bit of a jam I gotta be honest with you folks Benny's in a jam what's up Mario? sorry I just liked you sincerely asking that question

I got some Wii games that I'm trying to rip and send to some people I need a Wii transfer. Okay, well, David. I don't know that the Mario family's ever fully understood. And just before I describe Wii transfer to you...

We're very different people. I just have one question. Your last name's definitely Mario? Yeah, my name's Mario Mario. I just want to get that on the record. Is your last name really Sims? As far as I know. Okay, well, it sounds like a fake name. We Transfer

is all about making creative processes easier for everyone. They built their site to be the simplest way to share big files around the world for free. There's no sign in, no offer codes, no password to forget. God, I hate signing in. You just upload, send, and get back to making what you make.

It's like getting on a pipe and just crouching right you just take your super smash brothers melee is that the was that the one for that system yeah whatever yeah okay 40 million people use we transfer to send and receive files every month and since day one they've devoted 30 of their ad space to showcasing creative people around the world from musicians to photographers to illustrators to plumbers to podcasters like us. Yeah. Probably, you know, my brother's SoundCloud rap. Did he talk about that?

Did he bring that up, Ben? I can't remember. Yeah. Yeah, he did. It is not good. Okay. Well, in that spirit, we're going to skip the rest

of the 60-second ad and get right back into the podcast. Oh, that's nice. WeTransfer.com. You make, we transfer. It's almost like this ad copy just ate a mushroom or a shining star that allows it to speed up. Do you know what I'm saying?

Why don't you speed up on out of here, Mario? Okay. No, so, but then you've also got, you got Sandler who's like, there's these scenes where he's stressing out that he's going to get a good review in the New York Times in his kitchen and it's supposed to prove how

noble he is and he just really wants like the simple life you know and it's like but then you see the fucking restaurant and it's like it's like Versailles it's like all like fancy and done up and it's like it's the restaurant from Chef it's the same fucking place it's not homey at all and who's his top chef in the kitchen

so I want to talk about this Phil Rosenthal co-creator of Everybody Loves Raymond Everybody Loves Raymond's creator is the whatever sous chef right

the number two guy then who's the girl Doris Roberts I don't know who is it no you remember how Martha Kaufman co-creator of Friends

there's this female chef in all those scenes who's sort of like I agree and you're like, is this character going to like have an arc or something? She's from home alone, right?

Is she in home alone? I know her from Jerry Maguire in which she is the one who's crying on the phone going like, I hate that they did this to you, Jerry. And then like, Oh, is that right?

And then she's like, the other call and is like, Oh, hello. Yes. Yes. But is she also in a, I want to look her up now.

I don't know. I could be wrong. Wait, what did you... Oh, she's in Home Alone, you're saying? I think she's one of the siblings or one of the... I think she's the one who says Laissez-Encompte-Tendre. Laissez-Encompte-Tendre. It definitely feels in this movie like they're setting her up to be the protege who is in

love with her mentor and then she just disappears. Just vanishes. She is in Home Alone. You are correct. Congratulations. Five Home Alone points. I am not Les Incompetents. I disagree.

Wow. With which? Feud, Richard and Benny? Well, no. I was thinking about the kitchen dynamic. They're showing that she looks up to this chef.

It has nothing to do with romance. I mean, I've worked in many kitchens, and you always have sort of like the number two who is like always looking to surpass the head chef. And then this is the young, hungry, just wants to be in his position. Fucking kitchen confidential over here. I've never loved you more than I do now.

So, yeah, I see it totally different, but it's probably because I've worked in restaurants. No, you are owning me on this one. You have the fucking experience. He's got no reservations. No. Look at this guy. It's a big night for Benny.

He just got burnt. Ratatouille. I don't know. And now we've named all five. Oh, boy. Anyway, that's it. That's it. That's it. We're done.

No, the thing about the restaurant was, like I say, oh, I feel like Brooks is almost trying to like, oh, wouldn't it be interesting to make a movie about the burden of being successful? If someone calls you a genius, then it becomes difficult to do the thing you were first good at, which I think certainly is something that affected James L. Brooks' creativity. But he does not figure out how to attack this with any sort of insight. It's a movie that just feels like, why is this guy so upset about getting

a great review? But maybe that's what James L. Brooks is like, and that's what he's pouring into this. That's what it feels like. Also, if you're going to like, Ben is so frustrated. No, please, Richard, I don't mean to cut you off. If you're going to, obviously in certain examples, Studio 60 and The Sunset Trip comes to mind. Never show the comedy.

If it's supposed to be good comedy, don't show it because it's going to be bad. Totally true. But in this instance, it's like, well, if he's the best chef in the country, could we know a little bit more about the food and have a little more context? Well, the sandwich is amazing. Right. Which was made by someone who works at the, what's it called? The Laundry.

French Laundry. French Laundry. That's it. So obviously, because the sandwich is like fourth build in the movie, I think, right? I mean, the sandwich

is like a big part of this movie. And there was Oscar buzz for the sandwich. There was. Best sandwich. But then you see him make like lamb chops

one time and it looks fine. I mean, it looks totally basic. Right, yeah. But you look at it. The plating stuff, that sequence, or at least when he's talking about it, that's pretty legit.

That's true. That's true. I just wish we'd seen more in the restaurant. It is also weird, like, and, you know, broadcast news sets an unfortunate standard. But like, here's a movie about people who are all consumed by their career, by their chosen chosen field, by their form, all this sort of stuff. And then like this. And how do you know You Know have people who are very obsessed with their work and you get no sense of their relationship to the work. They just complain about stuff. And Taylor Leone's character is completely unmoored because we find out

in that first scene that she recently lost her job, but she was a designer or something. They bought the company and she's like, she seems to be rich but aimless. And she's like, I'm not good at being a stay-at-home parent. Go get a fucking job. Go fucking chill out.

I have a huge question, and Ben, you might be the one to answer this. Because this is a plot thread that's totally dropped. Unless it's just supposed to be representational and you don't need to know it's a MacGuffin. What's the fucking thing that they're mad at the son about? Oh, they don't bring that up, do they? Right, because the beginning of the movie, Adam Sandler doesn't enter until 15 minutes. The son who is like,

what's, holy shit, that kid's got a face. Yeah. My God. Yeah. Ian Highland is his name. But that's the opening of the movie is like, okay,

time to start considering waking up. And then he says, Dad, are you mad at me? And he goes, no, of course not. And then Taylor has a breakdown about the fact that they're messaging two different things. Right.

Good cop. Bad cop. Tries to cup her breast, wrong breast. Oh God. That's a wild scene. That's another thing. The sexuality in the movie is... We're getting to that. Oh boy.

This movie has, honestly, the most upsetting sex scene I've ever seen in a film. Right, yes. It was choreographed by Von Trier. It was. Like that anyone talks about the showgirl sex scene but doesn't talk about this is... They never talk about

what the son did, right? No, they don't. I think it's just innocuous. I think it's just he's a kid and he acted out. It just feels like it's a big enough thing for them to have that much

of a fight over it. It's weird for them not to be like, we can't let him slip by cheating on a test. Like whatever. Yeah, right. Give me fucking three words.

It's true, they don't mention it. Yeah. And then the boy just disappears for most of the movie. He's not in the movie. Right. And so I was going to say, the other thing that happens in this,

apart from the things we all discussed, is that Taya Leone buys some clothes for her daughter. Her daughter is named Bernice, played by Sarah Steele, the best performance in the movie. Well, Sarah Steele is a great actress. She does a lot of theater now.

She's in the humans. She's in those humans. Yeah, she's wonderful. I saw Margaret recently. Yes. She's very good in that. She was on The Good Wife for many years, and now she's sawing those humans. Yeah, she's wonderful. Margaret. I re-saw Margaret recently. Yes. I trained her. She's very good in that. She was on The Good Wife for many years

and now she's on The Good Fight. And is by all accounts a very good person. She's awesome. I love her. She's been entering her third decade of playing teenagers

because she's one of those actors. Me and Esther long ago agreed that she would be the star of Esther, the Esther Zuckerman story. Oh, good call. Good call. That's part of,

we can announce blank check pictures. Our slate where we're gonna develop films based off of our favorite friends and guests right

so she buys her these clothes I want to be played by Talioni done please don't worry the contract's

already been drawn no she buys her these clothes and the clothes are too small for her I guess they're size 8 right

and Talioni- She sees the number, immediately knows what her mom's doing, gets uncomfortable with that. It's this, I think, genuinely devastating scene. I think it's pretty well done. And I think it's also like,

that's pitched it, like that I get. That's like Talioni being a realistic monster. Yes. She's like, well, I mean, it's a goal. And she said she went to essentially what was like a sample sale.

And so she's like, well, they only had this. They only had eight or ten. And I'm not going to get you the bigger one. Right. Like something like that. We're encouraging that, you know. Right. But like the way that Sarah Steele especially pitches that kind of that realization of like,

oh, my God, this like nice moment, like just became horrible. So I think so good. So good. And then Adam Sandler explains all of that. Right. Yes. And Pat's Vega is like horrified. She's just standing there.

It's not entirely clear how she would know exactly what was going on. Takes it home, stays up all night. Yeah. Like restitching these clothes so that they're opened up a size. Yeah. Yes. Right. And then learns from her daughter the phrase, just try it on.

Yeah. Right. Spends the rest of the evening practicing that one line. Right. This is the only time we ever see her interacting with the family. Do you know what I mean? Like, this is the only time Paz Vega really, like, does a thing. Feels like a human being.

Yeah, like, apart from that, we don't really see her working that much. She's sort of just around. You know, whatever. She's like, you know, there's like a thing with the dog where you can't, like, play fetch with the dog. Which is probably, almost definitely something just from his life. Exactly. But, like, we don't, like, I think I't like i think i thought okay well the spine of the movie will be this it's like pos vega like comes into this neurotic family's life and tries to sort of like

right help them out she's mary poppins right but instead it's like that happens and then that's that it doesn't well here's another because taylor only immediately just vanishes from the movie pretty well brooks also seems a little bit scared to actually show her doing work in the house, like domestic work. Sure. And I'll say the one time you do see her doing work is kind of like a brutal shot where like her daughter is hanging out with the family

and looking over her shoulder and her mother's like picking up clothes. Yeah. Yes. There is that thing. It's Mudbound, right? That I think gets at this. Mudbound? Right?

Sure. I don't know what you're talking about. Am I wrong about this, that there's the moment where Mary J. Blige in the narration has the monologue about her mother working as a domestic when she was growing up and not being present? Am I conflating this with something else? Yes, this is Mudbound. This is Mudbound.

The notion that growing up being angry at your is my bad this is my right this is the notion that like growing up different thing i don't know growing up being angry at your mother for spending all her time with a different family yeah resenting that and then growing older and coming to realize oh she had to be that connected to those children in order to make the money to support me i mean it's something tony kushner wrote about uh with carolyn exchange i mean from the opposite perspective. There is a dynamic there that is interesting.

You know? Oh, absolutely. And especially if you add on the other level of, oh, and weirdly the mother of this family is taking a liking to the daughter. Yeah. And this sort of like two mothers who are forming relationships with each other's daughters. Right. That tension is kind of interesting. Yeah. This moment with her

doing the thing with the outfit like that all builds in that and then it just sort of like and then that's it it's like the next thing is adam sandler getting good review and it quickly it quickly gets to a point where taylor only resents her presence in the house yeah pasvega hates i don't know any of these characters names by the way no it's floor yeah taylor is Debra Klasky. Okay. But like, and it's like, oh, well, why is this still happening?

And why then, after it's already been kind of awkward, why are we now going to Malibu? Right, because they have to get a summer house. It's a priority. We got to have a summer house. They've already had one blow up. Oh, right.

Well, it's, no, I think it's all in Malibu. Is it all in Malibu? Because so before they go to Malibu, Adam Sandler, John is his character's name, gets the good review. He's miserable. And Sarah Steele reads to him while crying because everyone in this movie has cried

after 20 minutes of running time. And then Taylor Leone has sex with Adam Sandler. They're both close. A harrowing scene. This is a very strange thing. She's wearing a sports bra and running shoes. Sure. Sarah Steele, which, like, she's good in the scene, but, like, what kid

is doing that for their parents? I have no idea. She's a teenager. She's not supposed to be, like, anyway. But, um, she's like, I wonder what mom's gonna say. And then we cut to Taylor running up the stairs and her jogging stuff. And she's like, I read it. And then she immediately, like, they start doing it. It's an aphrodisiac it's the middle of the day

is the daughter like out on the stairwell I don't know what's going on and it's so loud yes it is loud I mean it's scarring for these children I think that's why the little boy leaves he just gets a little bindle and just runs off into the Bel Air she has this very bizarre series

of like I don't even know how to fucking describe this. She's on top of him and she starts just doing shit. Right. She's rubbing. And you can't figure out if it's like, is what they're trying to play that she's being too performative or that she is actually this into it.

And then she sort of breaks down crying. Are they having sex? Yeah. Or are they just dry humping? No, I think they're supposed to be having sex. It looks because of how they're dressed

and how they're blocked. It's one of those like sex scenes where no one actually like takes all their clothes off. She's wearing running shoes. On screen, you know what I mean?

Like they, so they just kind of like, and like a whole time Adam's going like, oh, whoa. I don't even need to do anything. You're doing all the work.

He slaps her stomach and he's like, oh, mother of two or whatever, you know. I can't believe it. do anything. He's doing all the work. He slaps her stomach and he's like, mother of two or whatever. I can't believe it. And then she is doing this and then she starts to get uncomfortable and then you can't tell what's going on and you're like, is she having a breakdown?

And then she comes? Is that what we're supposed to take away from it? She does this series of facial contortions and re-watching it, I was like, that moment where she's doing that and you just see all this work and you're like, oh, Taya. That's when I was like, this where she's doing that and you just see all this work and you're like oh Taya

that's when I was like this performance is I feel so bad for her because she threw don't give them this much don't give them this footage and you can almost see her realizing

I'm going to do it but you know she's like too much of a pro when I used to audition for plays when I was in high school and college

and I was not a good actor and you would always choose this as your monologue the sex scene I would actually just do the whole movie. Which is why you didn't get the part. It was a two hour and 45 minute audition. I would look up and the room would be dark and everyone was gone.

But I remember one in particular where I really wanted this part and I went in and I just went so full tilt and I knew not even 30 seconds in I was like, this is going very badly. This was a mistake.

But I can't stop now. And I feel like there is a moment when she's in that orgasming scene or the sequence of O-Faces where you're just like, oh, you can see it. She knows it's bad. She knows it's bad.

And she just had so many takes. That's the only thing you have to think about. He's meticulous. He's known for doing like 100 takes of shit. They just do different angles over and over again. And then Sandler just kind of gets frustrated. He's like, oh, no, don't stop.

Oh, come on. Well, isn't the idea, though, that she's selfish? Yes. And that she only wants to get off herself. It's the first sex scene where the woman comes and the man doesn't. And the man is annoyed about it. Well, it happens fast. But also, I don't have sex with women, but like...

Cumberbatch. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hashtag the two friends. But isn't the whole thing... Do any AT, baby!

That she could keep going? We blew up the levels. Yes, she could. Yes. Yeah, she could. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. But anyway, it. Yeah. She could. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah.

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Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes thought that was funny. Did you watch this movie with Molly? I did. Did she like it? She loves this movie. Really? Spanglish. Yes, my girlfriend

loves this movie. The great Molly gave me. I have this vision of Ben watching Spanglish while doing the Nelson months in Branson. Like when they're going, who are they singing? It's not Neil Diamond, but like he's just like so wrapped. That's Ben watching the movie. Who is it? Is it Hank Williams Jr. I think? Yeah, he's seen Moonrise.. That's Ben watching the movie. Who is it? Is it Hank Williams Jr., I think?

Yeah, he's seen Moonraker. He goes, bam, second encore. Bam, second encore. That is such a funny Simpsons scene. Even Martin's not into it. James L. Burks wrote that scene. Did he? No.

You know what I did find out he wrote? He did write You Are Lisa Simpson. Well, that's what I associated with him is the second season, the more emotional, you know, sort of character focused. The Lisa-ish episodes. Yes, yes. I don't know if like by, you know, season 10, he's still like, hey guys, like I got some notes.

The sun sphere is full of wigs. Good gag. They tell a story on the fucking like James L. Brooks American Master documentary they have on the broadcast news Criterion

about like being in the writers room being like Mr. Bergstrom has to hand Lisa something profound like what is it and they were all

like drafting things and the James L. Brooks literally wrote down you are Lisa Simpson folded up put on a piece of paper amazing and rather than

say it out loud pitch it to them as like the full experience and they were like, that's why he's James L. Brooks. He's brilliant. Or was. Yeah, something happened.

So then they moved to Malibu. The sex is terrible and yet we still have not gotten to really any articulation of what is wrong with the marriage in specific. No, it's never specifically articulated

apart from that she seems to be in the grip of a nervous breakdown and he's a total wet blanket. Right? It's like there's nothing more to it than that.

But almost immediately after their sex, he's freaking out about the review and she's like, oh, fuck, but I gotta go look at summer houses.

She's just been so turned on by him even though she's frustrated by him being too beloved by their children and then goes and meets up with Thomas Hayden Church backing in on that Oscar nomination.

Thomas Hayden Church, who, right, filmed this before, he executes a reverse around a corner into, you know, where I'm like, it's one of those shots

where you're like, a car accident's about to happen. Like, this is such a complicated driving move that we have to be seeing this for some reason. We're not seeing it for any reason like, a car accident's about to happen. Yeah. Like, this is such a complicated driving move that we have to be seeing this for some reason. We're not seeing it for any reason. The horrible car accident in Adaptation when it's the flashback.

Yes, yes. Yeah. No, you are seeing it for a reason because the characterization is this guy's a master of cars. Yeah. Because she's sitting in the front seat and her hair is blowing in her face

and she goes, I guess I'm never going to be one of those girls. Yeah, yeah. His hair looks perfect in a Corvette and he does like jujitsu. Yeah, he does like some window thing. The windows and then put your seat back. And then her hair is like fully like.

That scene is bizarre. Right. And then she looks at him. Can you imagine the wind guys? Like, oh God. She looks at him and goes like, oh, you're trouble. And you're like, oh boy, what are they teeing up here? And they don't talk about it again for 90 minutes until she reveals that they've been fucking for those 90 minutes.

And that's why she's been absent from the movie. And only Chloris Leachman knows about it. Yes. Right. They treat it like Jeff and Britta in season three of Community. That's what they do.

Which is whatever. Fine. Okay. So they go to Malibu. Sure. She explains. And they have to move in now because the bus is too long.

It's too long to bus ride. Via a random guy cleaning his car in a wife beater. And that's a, will you translate for her for her

oh yeah let me he's got like a sort of pompadour go suck his hair I'm sorry that's Ben's favorite character

how do you say they should name a gender after you in Spanish what sorry how do you say they should name a gender after you in Spanish we'll get to that

we'll get to that but so she is essentially Floor is coerced into moving in to Valadry and the guy who's

translating expresses a little dismay when she agrees to do it his face falls a little bit he's actually pretty good in the scene and it's like why is she coerced

I guess just because of the job but like she reveals that she has a daughter which she hasn't mentioned Taylor they've been holding

that secret from her well not Sandler. Sandler's like, hey, there's probably a reason. And Taylor is like, no, shut up. Don't talk to me. But this woman who is so fiercely protective of her daughter and her privacy of her daughter's experience in the world, they live in this enclave where whatever,

why would she agree to do this? That doesn't make any sense to me. She's an illegal immigrant. Do you know how hard it is to have a job and live in this country? And that's true. That's all fair. I don't believe that

I just think the thing with the daughter is a little bit, it's too much, it's too neat, it's too convenient. I genuinely adore that every single element of this movie track. No, because they're like the movies where I feel like this. They're movies I sit there and I watch and I'm like, every single piece of this makes sense. I don't know why everyone else hates it.

It's hard to complain about what you're saying, though, because they never dig into any of it. It's all so vague. Because the daughter starts going to private school. Is she a full scholarship? Who's paying for this? Who did the documentation on this? Like, what's going on there?

That line we were talking about earlier, which I do think is kind of nice, where she says, like, my concern is that if she goes to that place, either she's going to be odd or she's going to become just like them. Right. You know, either way. It's all very grandly metaphorical, where, like, the money is actually mentioned. We do hear about it. Right.

But, like, we see no But we don't see her life. We don't see her house. Right. We don't see where she used to work, which seemed to be fine. Right. But too many hours. It was overnight. She had two jobs, one during the day and one at night.

This is the good life for her. Yes, it is. This is the good job. She's landed with a rich family. Right. This is her opportunity to make some real money. Right. But she's also fighting against it the entire time. That's true. She's not into a rich family. This is her opportunity to make some real money. Right.

But she's also fighting against it the entire time. That's true. She's not into it. No. But you're allowed to hate your job, right? Yeah. I mean, you do. Oh, come on now.

Producing this podcast. Yeah. Because you guys, I just looked at the Robocop runtime. Oh, boy. Jesus. I think, though, I will admit that you're're right I'm imbuing a lot of stuff into into the

the characters and that's the run time before the ads right what's that the RoboCop yes great

yeah how you doing Richard I'm good I was just thinking that like Richard had a really pensive expression I was just thinking

like I think you're exactly right Ben like that her immigration status, and we're at a moment right now where we're seeing a lot of women who are finally speaking out

about horrible working conditions that they were in, but they had to stay in because they needed the job and they needed the work. I completely get that. I just think that the, to use the daughter as this kind of tool or, I don't know,

it feels weird narratively. Um, without her actually being a fully fleshed out character. If the movie was about her, I would be fine. And I think she's the most interesting perspective in the movie where she treated like a real person. Yeah.

The position she's in is fascinating. Yeah. And, and I think, I also think that her, that, that the way that Taylor only just immediately gloms onto the daughter because she's so not her own kid, right?

Yes. Like, that's interesting, and I— She likes that the daughter is, like, I think more conventionally beautiful in a lot of ways. Well, yeah. She can take her out shopping. She's superficial. She's a design-y type of person. Because pretty much the first thing she does after they move to Malibu is takes the daughter away

with, like, a little note, like, Hey, I borrowed your daughter for the day. And that's the first crisis she does after they move to Malibu is takes the daughter away with like a little note like hey Flora I borrowed your daughter for the day and that's the first crisis right that's where Flora has to like stand her ground and write a whole letter no there is even stuff like when she brings her to interview at the school

and treats it like oh we were just walking around and we happened to run onto the grounds and then interview the first thing she says to the headmaster is like, isn't she beautiful? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like she fetishizes the daughter in this weird,

but not sexually, but like as this- No, no, you're right. Part of like, I like my house, I like my drapes. As an exotic beauty, I guess. And she says something about,

she says to Flora like, you could make like a fortune. Like with like child modeling or something. What is it? No, as like a, like with like child modeling or something what is it? as like you're like a like a womb yes a surrogate

you could make a fortune as a surrogate she makes beautiful children which is like again I get Brooks I get that line from Brooks because he's making

poking fun at like rich LA people who only think of these things like but but uh I guess there is a certain element also that's interesting

about the movie where they're perhaps saying they're definitely saying things in front of her that they wouldn't normally because she doesn't speak English. Which then when she does very conveniently learn English To be fair, she learns to speak English. Oh, thank you. Sorry.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Can we take that again? When she learns Cloris Leachman is great as Musi in this. Excuse me. She learns to speak. Can we take that again? When she learns... Muzzy. Cloris Leachman is great as Muzzy in this. I will say that. At this point, we've announced that as part of the Blank Check Pictures film slate,

we're rebooting Muzzy into a multimedia franchise. It's going to star Agnes Varda. Agnes Varda as Muzzy. We are probably 10 days away from someone announcing a CGI live action muzzy hybrid. Starring Agnes Varda. Well, I mean, it's a real boon for Goran, French Gorans, you know. Do you know about this, the Gorans?

You don't know about Gorans. No, what? Do you know about Gorans? From the Legend of Zelda? Oh, no, no. Oh, there are these little rock monsters? Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. do you know about Gorons from the Legend of Zelda oh no no there are these little rock monsters oh yes yes yes

yes yes yes yes I tagged this part yes yes yes she's a Goron yes yes a lovable one of course

of course oh my god what are we talking about again I don't know here's like a scene where I can't figure out where Vega stands okay

Sandler does the like hey I need all these beach stones. The first blow up is the shopping trip. This is the second blow up. He wants the sea glass. Sea glass, right. What's his offer? He goes, what, a dollar per piece? It can't be a dollar. It must be more than that.

No, because it's a dollar for every piece and then for ones that are bigger than this, it's five dollars and then ones that are not that are anything but clear brown or green is then worth more. So she finds all these blue ones.

Great metaphor for capitalism. He sort of makes this offer as a joke or I guess it's more like his children are lazy so he doesn't really think they're going to like it. It's an idle thing. He wants something to keep the kids occupied. All his kids do are sit on pool noodles.

He's hoping that his son will be swept out to sea. It's like, give him a task, I'll have to pay out $5, $10 maybe in total. He could have just paid Cloris Leachman. She would have killed the kid. She's got it in her. She's a stone cold killer. Have Thomas Hayden Church drive over. But then she comes back the next day, the daughter.

Right. And is like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I feel so bad about this. We've seen her out on the beach. Right. I stayed up all night counting. Please don't pay me anything. And he is like, what?

Spills it all over. How much do I owe you? $640. Well, what happens is she shows him how much she found on the beach. He says, oh, now I'm broke. And she's like, oh, you don't have to pay me. It's okay. No, I was joking.

I was joking. I'm sorry. I'm going to pay you. Yeah. And so it's like hundreds of dollars that he, again, just has in cash. Of course. And he gets it out of the mug and he gives it to her in a brown paper envelope. And then Paz Vega gets furious that she was paid for doing a task.

Like it wasn't, like I understand when she's like, don't accept money, just wantonly given out. Yeah. Tay Leone handing you a 20 to wipe your nose. It's so much money. Right. And then Sandler's like, I'm sorry, I thought I was going to get like 50 bucks max. I made her promise. You know, I made a deal.

Right, he's like, I'm trying to honor a contract here and she said he's but he says like i thought it'd be like 50 bucks and she's like 50 bucks is a lot of money like she is trying to like refocus it but like this man lives he's in a beach house in malibu he has no concept of money like this is she put a lot of work into that like she stayed up all night counting it like it's not like she just like looking for you know like a quick buck like she like did the time on this task she was given but still i mean it's an awkward like look if my if i had a kid and some parent like that i knew who's richer than me yeah gave my kid like hundreds of dollars because my kid did some bullshit i'd be like you can't do that you know what i'm in charge of the money my kid gets like exactly i get it sure you know what it made me think about

was a really great scene in the River Wild when it's their birthday for Joseph Mazzello and Kevin Bacon gives them this weird stick that has a hole in it and he takes out of the hole and it's $200 from the cattle option that they robbed and he's really excited

and Meryl Streep's like no no, no, no, you can't. And both her and David Strathairn are like, no, we can't accept that. And it's really well played. Again, that sort of social awkwardness of like, ugh. Don't give my kid money. And I think that this does it well, too. And this is potentially the centerpiece of the film. Like this scene.

This scene. This definition of both of their kind of ideologies and like, you know, whatever. One of these fights where Adam Sandler is stark, raving, calm. Yeah.

Yes. He's holding a sandwich for a lot of it. He's holding the sandwich. This is the scene where he's made the sandwich. He's made it. What? It's like a lard on or like, and like,

it's a fancy BLT. It's got a fried egg. Right. And he, there's this scene where he, there's a shot of him separating the sandwich and like the egg

goes like oh you are good or whatever and he has like a big beer and like a nice glass oh god and you always say nothing frustrates you more

in movies I was very frustrated don't eat meals I also really like fried egg sandwiches if you do them right like a thousand times more than a scrambled egg sandwich

you know what I mean it's well known that I hate eggs so when they have the lingering 15 second shot of the egg running down the side of the sandwich, that for me is like the eyeball being slitten on Shanla Andalou. I lost my mind. Do you know who you have that in common with? Who?

Guy Fieri. Hates eggs? Doesn't like an egg. We have a lot of things in common. Well, you have the same hair. Right. Your sunglasses are on the back of your head right now. We both closed down large businesses in Times Square over New Year's.

You also have a product you call donkey sauce. You don't want to know what that is. And it was the M&M store that you closed down. You just did that as a public service. I thought it was Mars 2020. That was my older business. We closed down

10 years ago. Oh man, Mars 2112. I think I had three consecutive birthdays there. Did you know that you had to go to Mars? 25, 26, 27. 2112. Anyway, I went to a birthday at Mars 2112. I remember taking Romley there right before it closed because she was born after its heyday.

Like, she never... My mom was like, you boys used to love that so much. You should take Rom there.. Like she never, my mom was like, you boys used to love that so much. You should take Rom there. I took her there and they like just hadn't done maintenance. They knew it was closing. It was just like the walls were peeling and shit. It was like Troy McClure's apartment.

Exactly. This was a restaurant off of Times Square in New York City. For those of you who don't know. Where you would get into like a simulator. You had to board a motion, they'd go, here's your flight. Your flight is in five minutes. And you get into like a simulator. You had to board a motion. They'd go, here's your flight. Your flight is in five minutes.

And you'd get in a motion simulator ride that featured almost hitting the World Trade Center and was not updated after 9-11. Oh, God. I definitely went to it before 9-11. I'm now remembering this. And it was open for another seven years. I think it closed in 2008. And then you'd go into this restaurant that was this huge cavernous recreation of being-

It was like the Rainforest Cafe. The Catacombs of Mars. Yes, yes. And your waiters would be dressed up as Martians. And they had Martian go-go dancers and like balls suspended from the ceiling. I just remember that I went and I got like a space burger. And it was like a burger. I don't know if it was very space.

They had a great arcade. They had a cool arcade. I remember that. Close in 2012. Yeah, geez. So it was just spacey. They had a great arcade. They had a cool arcade. I remember that. Close in 2012. Yeah, geez. So it was just 100 years old. They almost made it.

They were so close. They almost made it. Jesus Christ. All right. So Spanglish. So this is the Mars 2112 scene where they get

in this big fight and he calls her out. And it's a translated fight. Right. You know, because this is like this is his thing.12 scene where they they get in this big fight and he calls her out and it's a translated fight you know because this is like this is his thing he never uses subtitles and she's trying

she's trying to find the word for smug yes but I love that that is actually a great Brooke scene where she says the word and the daughter's like

and Sam was like oh that's not gonna be a good word like he sinks into his chair I'm not gonna like that one yeah yeah that is funny but then he calls her out right he's like well you like changed the clothes of my

daughter so like how different is that it's like you're paying her to fucking do that shit what are you talking about even those moments that are nice ideas are so underlined and italicized and in boldness like he never lets a moment just sort of like happen offhandedly, which is what he used to be so good at. Yeah. He's not paying her though. Well, he's paying her to, she's,

she gets involved in the, in this girl's life. How would you describe her, what is her role in the house? She's, she's like, what's the word you would use for her? I guess I would say maid.

She's a maid. And like a maid altering a child's clothes's clothes is not that outside of the purview. Did anyone ask her to do it? So now she's not allowed to have her own initiative? She can only do what she's commanded to do? I'm just saying, he's saying the dynamics are the same. They are not the same. That is a weird comparison for him to make.

Okay, all right. She's a paid domestic servant for the household. But she's trying to help this little girl who's feeling really self conscious about her weight yeah it was a good thing for her to do I guess alright

but he's saying like it's an intrusion like just like how I handed your daughter an envelope of money I agree with Ben that I think it is a wholly nice thing to do

yes but it's only a conflict because she is so staunchly against any time that they make a move but almost every time the Klaskys

are trying to be nice, they hand over money. You know what I mean? The ultimate kindness. Maybe this is what I felt was weird about the fact that she comes to live in Malibu with what the kid does, and maybe I wasn't articulating And the kid loves it, by the way. She's so into Malibu. Is if that kind of interference

is going to bother her, why put her in... What is she going to do otherwise? Sit in that little room for three months? She's going to interact with this family. They're going to interfere in some capacity. It's one of those movies where it's like, you don't understand why she doesn't quit sooner

or why she quits at all. It's one of those things where by the end of the movie when she does quit... Shit's already fucked up. But she needs the job, like Ben said i mean you know either you're gonna stick with it or you're gonna get angry at the first offense and like walk out and be like lying in the sand right there's a weird i mean obviously the what happens between her and sandler changes cast the die a bit um but then but this is then then it just turns into science fiction

because then after that is when they have this thing where he corrects her and she goes like... You're right. She concedes the point and there's a detente. She's like, all right, I'll stay. That's so amazing. It's like the Brooks, like, wouldn't it be great if our insecurities were sexy and needy? No, but Richard's right. Also, Adam Sandler is amazed that a woman just agreed to something he said.

And also, you think you can do these things, Nemo, but you can't. Yeah, let's do some Brooks. Yeah, I know, I know. just like agree to something he said. And also you think you can do these things Nemo but you can't. Let's do some bro. Yeah I know I know. Well I mean if you look at the way that he I guess this is the moment when he starts to kind of fall in love with her or whatever. Here's the first woman who hasn't yelled at me in my life is like what they're trying to present. Do you think if we had sex she'd like

take all of her clothes off and maybe like you know be a mutual experience? There would be cleats digging into my sides. But like, so the ideal woman is, like, Talion's character is this like,

harpy nightmare. Right. And then, but the other woman in the movie is, Can't speak English. He can't communicate with her. She's just,

she's kind of silent and pretty. Which is like, it's a weird little mermaid complex. Or the Love Actually thing, where it's like Colin Farrell, I mean, Colin Firth. I wish it was Colin Farrell. I mean, Colin Firth.

I wish it was Colin Farrell. Oh, boy. Colin Firth falling in love with the Portuguese woman who can't speak English. A thing I love about The Shape of Water is that the character who has that viewpoint is the bad guy. That Michael Shannon is totally into fetishizing the way that she can't talk. Hey, bottle rocket. Egg. Bottle rocket.

Right? That's a part of the movie. Yeah. Although in that one, I think he connects with her in spite of that, rather than that being the attraction. Oh, you just did the sign language for egg. We're in love now. Did I really?

Yeah, that's an egg. It's just like in Shape of Water, she's like, egg. He's like, egg. And she's like, well, clearly this is happening. I'm throwing down with this fucking sea creature. Great movie. He knows the fucking sea creature. Great movie. He knows the word for egg. Great movie.

So now they're in love. She decides she wants to learn English. Well, we know that he has a thing for her, but we don't really know about her for him, really, until the end, I feel like. Right, but she respects that. Don't they have that thing, or does that come later when she says that he's more like a Mexican woman? That's when they're in the car yes that's that's earlier when

after Talioni has like threatened to snap his dick off or whatever like he drives her I can't I don't remember what Talioni did but he's in tears I go no it's after Talioni did the clothes thing right and he's in tears expressing to her like man she was having such a good day and she was so happy about the present and then to watch

her fit right it seemed like all her problems with her mother were solved. And Pazovec is basically like, who is this person crying? I can't deal with this. I don't know what he's saying. It's like her first day at work. Right.

Basically tries to like jump out of the car and he's like, hey, wait, wait, wait, you know? And like, but yes, then the monologue is like, yes, he was more like a woman. Yeah. That's in the college essay.

The idea is that he's like the only man who has ever listened, and he's in touch with his emotions, and he's perceptive. And so Paz Vega recognizes this like... Well, Paz Vega as a Mexican has never seen a man do this, I guess. What?

Like, I don't get it. I don't know. Paz Vega. But then she learns English. Flora. Then she learns English from Muzzy. It's a real tape. IMDb trivia, real tape. I think it's not Muzzy, Yeah, then she learns English from Muzzy. It's a real tape. IMDb trivia, real tape.

I think it's not Muzzy, but let's just say it is Muzzy. And this is what I'm saying about science fiction. Then the kid gets enrolled in private school. Yes. Okay, great. Can I go to private school? The kid leans on her mother for a while. You know, Flora isn't into it.

Here's an extra backpack we had lying around Talioni rips off the tag what used to be played out in a Brooks master shot now has to get like a fucking punched in close up just so you don't miss you know like no detail unnoticed and now she's going to school

and Talioni who's basically not been in the movie is like how's everyone doing I'll see y'all later, getting into her SUV. And Cloris Leachman, who has also kind of been quiet for a while, runs up to the car. Remember the first 15 minutes I was flinty and made a lot of witty, I was rapping grandma, and I just threw out these razor-sharp barbs? Right, yeah, I was sort of laying the groundwork

for Betty White's next 10 years. Right, it was just a lush and a fucking... And then she just pops up and she's like, I know what you're doing. You're going to lose your husband. This is the best man you've ever known. Also, I've been sober for 12 weeks. No one noticed.

Maybe because I wasn't on screen. She was looking for the sun. But she recognizes Paz Vega and Adam Sandler hitting it off and is weirdly permissive. There's that moment when she leaves them

and is like... Well, she's having an affair. Right. I guess. Which she knows. She's getting that church. It also seems like she hates her daughter.

Getting that THC. You know what I'm saying, Ben? She's got some THC. Yeah, I know. The energy's gone. That's the one thing you don't like? He's just playing Spanglish in his head

right now he's not listening well no I yeah I don't know you got a little 2018 book

in your pocket here no I know I guess positive this is the year of the positive it's just it's like this movie

where I feel like it's just so written by a white guy who's trying and I'm like part of me is like now as we talk it out being like that's really generic

no I don't want to ruin this for you stay on the train train to Spain the trip to Spain I don't know I didn't even want to open this can of worms but I had a very similar reaction to how you did watching this movie watching Downsizing

well I want to talk about Downsizing. We'll talk about that in our blank awards. Right. So let's talk about it another time. We'll have talked about it in the past, but I had that same thing where I was like, this is all working for me. I get why everyone else hates this.

Yeah. I understand like the fire it's playing with, but it's working. It's clicking. Anyway, so now, she then comes to Sandler and opens up about everything I don't even know if there's much

connective tissue between that that's where she confesses to Sandler I'm sleeping with another man I've been seeing another man she's ranting and raving and he like calms her down to be like did you sleep with the guy yeah did you say that did I miss that part he has all these like Brooks lines where he's like,

the earth is cracked open, it's so noisy. Is there any way I can live without knowing at this point? No, I think I need to know. Right. And so, yeah. Yeah, it's just like one Brooksie line after another. It is, it really is. He's suddenly shooting the t-shirt gun at you.

It's like whoever wrote the AV Club review for Drive Angry shot in 3d the nicholas cage movie i just think of this a lot and apply it to other movies they said the problem with the film is that it's only guitar solos yeah sure you know which i like that movie scott tobias the great scott yes scott tobias it was just saying like the problem is if like every move is your special move then that move doesn't have any power anymore exactly and brooks gets to a point where he wants every line to be like... To be Brooks-y.

Right. Bobby Finger and I sometimes like to just make up movie premises and cast them and whatever. And we were idiots. But we had one that we were talking about for a while that was like a James L. Brooks movie. And it was set in Silicon Valley

with Reese Witherspoon and somebody else. I mean, I'm on board. Yeah, me too. Is there a title? Oh, there was. I don't remember what it board. Yeah, me too. Is there a title? Oh, there was. I don't remember what it was. But anyway, we kept writing a little line, like Brooksy lines back and forth.

Angel investor? Oh, that's good. And it's really hard, but it's really fun. I like those Brooksy. Mine was Reese Witherspoon would say to somebody, you're the kind of a person who's a kind of a person. That is such a Brooksie. Oh my God,

that's so good. Oh my God. Five million Brooks boys. Yes, so many Brooks boys. But you can't do that, like you said, every line of a scene

because, especially not in your big dramatic scene. Because a lot of times with those Brooksisms, they're not, they don't actually mean anything. Right.

And so if a whole scene is them, the scene means nothing. Like what is being expressed in that scene between when she's right it's like a castle made out of rice paper yeah you're like what is i don't know and and i feel like you look at uh broadcast news not to keep on going back to it but it is the perfect like fucking you know realization of everything that he's good at um they have like a job to do. There are stakes within scenes, so they have to talk about other things. There's like dialogue of substance

that is then cut with like these Brooksy lines. Whereas this, it's like, well, he's freaked out about his restaurant, but he doesn't really talk about it that much. She doesn't have a job, but she doesn't really talk about it that much. They just talk in these like Brooksy sort of charming like platitudes.

And are supposedly like stuff is changing and stuff is happening and I just don't feel and that's why when you know so Sandler leaves the house and he takes

Paz Vega with him and they go to the restaurant and this is the moment when they're going to kind of own Peter. She says it's like Valhalla, right? Or no, what did she say? I don't remember.

I hate that scene. She loves it, yeah. The restaurant where it's just like it looks fine. He puts his hand on her back and he can't stop don't remember. I hate that scene. She loves it, yeah. The restaurant, where it's just like, it looks fine. He puts his hand on her back and he can't stop patting it. And he makes food.

Yeah, he's like, the rest of my body feels like it's falling off a cliff. My hand makes sense. Right, yeah, exactly. And it's like, okay, this is, there are a lot of these good lines,

but like, what is being expressed here? Where did this come from? Their connection doesn't make sense. She says, I love you to him. And it's like, wait, what?

This very principled person? But then she puts her feet on the floor which will then cause the world to explode. Looks at her feet and runs away. Right.

But the connection between them is insane. But what comes before then? They're in the kitchen and he's talking about how good looking she is. And what does he say? Please, Griffin, go ahead. They should name a how good looking she is and what does he say? I

please Griffin go ahead they should name a gender after you what the hell does that mean? I mean that's Brooks like trying to write a Brooks line

but he has like the flu or something you know what I mean? or like it went through Google Translate and it came out wrong that's like you know in the Simpsons

when they cut they show a picture of James Earl Brooks and it's like the long finger is that right it's the long fingernails and the typewriter that's that version of Brooks writing that and it's like the long finger is that hit yeah right it's the long fingernails and the typewriter that's that version

of Brooks writing that line it also is like what a word that is loaded with so much more meaning now and like and fucking like

gunpowder today than it was then like that line was wrong headed back then but like hearing it today it feels like a slur

you know it does and it's also like what does it mean yeah like what I don't understand how is that not that word feels like a slur you know it does and it's also like what does it mean yeah right what I don't understand how is that word feels like a slur but in the context I think what he's saying is that she's hot I think that's what

he's going for yeah that he thinks that she's attractive oh okay and even though he has expressed almost zero sexuality I mean even in his sex scene no zero he wears like billowy linen shirts he has like a jufro he looks like fucking Humpty Dumpty he can't come the man fundamentally

cannot come the only thing this guy can do is like make lamb chops I don't know it's so weird what he does like 8 times in the movie is like collapse into a comfy piece of furniture like exasperatedly that's like Adam Sandler's whole character

is just like Of course there's an explosive an explosive set piece to end off the film. What was that? No, no, no. You're forgetting there's also the scene

where Taylor Leone who's made up like she just got shot with like a snot gun. Oh, right. And she's like well, what should I do? I should call him.

I should, you know, like I'll explain everything and Cloris Leachman's like no just say I'm glad you're home I'm glad you came back home or whatever right and they have

all these lines together what's the thing you know I know it was a wildly abusive mother Brooks is trying to tap into like oh yeah no

it's all Cloris Leachman's fault and you're like you mean the sassy broad who's like everyone's favorite character I don't think I can tap into like whatever she was like as a monster

like younger woman. Maybe Anne Bancroft could. Maybe. Because Anne Bancroft is more threatening. I don't know. But not Cloris Leachman. And so she does say this line like inherently likable about Cloris Leachman. She's the best. Who fucking doesn't like Cloris Leachman? There's something very

like of the people about her. You know there's nothing distant about her. like of the people about her you know there's nothing distant about her there's nothing remote about her even when she's mean you know or she's being kind of like

bawdy you're just like yeah I mean she's like she's got good good salt in her I think a lot of times in her later career like

when she's in stuff it's like she's just an audience member who just like walked into the scene and it's like hey what's going on here and then

comments on it you know and I think that that is like a funny thing in general but in this movie it's like hey what's going on here and it comments on it you know and I think that that is like a funny thing in general but in this movie it's just

it just feels uncomfortable because it's like just leave Cloris like you shouldn't be here right like go to a do a different thing well the only thing

I will say that I do like is that it's unresolved like we see Sandler come home yeah Taya says the line to him he's like I'm gonna sleep on the couch

and that's it that's the end that's the end of them right and then they pretty much we have one more scene and Sarah Steele

gets no real resolution well we have the one more scene where she takes her daughter away from the family and Sarah Steele like gives her a hug right but like

and Sandler tells Sarah Steele how much he loves her yes and Cloris Leachman says I lived my life for myself you live your life

for your daughter none of it works right which is like there are a lot of says, I lived my life for myself, you live your life for your daughter, none of it works. Right. Which is like, there are a lot of good, like, interesting lines about parenting where like,

Adam Sandler says to her on the beach, like, you know, it's sanity to worry or whatever. He's like, you know, like, you know,

there's like some thought about how to parent and what the kind of burdens of that are, but like, that's not what the movie's about ultimately, so it doesn't really matter. No. But I think that that last scene when she leaves

and it's very like the help we're like walking down the street you know where where they're at the bus stop

and she articulates she's like is who I am so like do you want to be so different from me the line is I have it here is what you want for yourself

to become someone very different than me which is actually and that's a really interesting tension to explore in a movie I just wish this movie did it you wish retroactively at the utterance of that line that that's what really interesting tension to explore in a movie I just wish this movie did it you wish retroactively

at the utterance of that line that that's what the movie had been about that would be really interesting and that is also something that I believe a kid would write

a college essay about 100% and I don't know but that last scene is frustrating because it is really good and it's like oh here's the idea

of the movie and it's the last scene and it's just a pain I think I wrote I texted you you, David, something similar. I was like, you know, there are some good ideas here. Yeah, there are. For sure. It's just, you know.

And also, for Talion to get absolutely no resolution at the end like that, after putting in all that crazy work. That's true. It's like, that's. And crying. Yeah. This is the line I'm looking at right here, which I remember being like cornerstone of the trailer.

Like, oh, this is going to be Leone's Oscar scene is, you were an alcoholic and wildly promiscuous woman during my formative years, so that I'm in this fix because of you. It is your fault. So that I'm in this fix because of you, it is your fault, and I just need that moment for us to build on. And then Cloris Leachman says, you have a solid point, dear, but right now the lessons of my life are coming in handy for you.

Which is like, what the fuck? What? Yeah. Do I need makeup? No, what you need right now is a hose. But like, Which is like, what the fuck? Do I need makeup? No, what you need right now is a hose. But it's like, what the fuck? SAG nominee? That's crazy.

The line about your low self-esteem is just starting to be like common sense or whatever. All these things. Suddenly she's fucking Don Rickles throwing fucking curveballs at you. I read A.O. Scott's review of the movie which is really good.

People should read it. He singles that line out. He's like, that's an extraordinarily cruel thing to say to somebody. And it's like, she's not a cruel, that's not who she's supposed to be.

Right. I've got some news for you guys. Two new scenes were shot when test audiences found the ending unsatisfying. So whatever the ending used to be was even more unsatisfying. Can I tell you what my guess is? It was the opening

and the ending. I think the college admissions essay thing was added later. Sure. That's my guess, to put a frame around it. That could be true. Also, this film was shot in sequence. Sarah Steele gained 15 pounds for the role, which is fucking bizarre.

Oh, did you say on Mike who or what Sandler turned down to be in this? Oh, please. Wait, brace yourself. He turned down the role of Max, Jamie Foxx's part, in Collateral to be in this movie. It was 100% the choice. Everyone wanted him. Yeah, they were excited for,

probably in a similar way after seeing Punch Drunk Love, for dramatic, bottled rage, Adam Sandler. Imagine that movie with those two. I think Jamie Foxx is so good in Collateral, but it's a totally different performance from whatever Sandler would have given it. And you know that Leachman was going to play

the cruise role. Of course. That's what the hair, she had that hair in Spanglish for the cruise roll. And Thomas Hayden Church was going to be Jada Pinkett. At that point CAA was packaging them together. It had to be

Leachman and Sandler. You can find a film a script that has roles for both of them it's a go pick. And Taylor Leone was going to play Javier Bardem.

We could do this all day. It is interesting though because Sarah Steele Mark Ruffalo Fox is They just swapped casts. Fox is obviously

phenomenal in Collateral, but he's very much playing against type in that. Yes. Sandler is much more the kind of obvious idea of who the character is. The thing that you would wonder is

if he could pull off the transformation by the end. Right. When he has to kind of walk the walk. Right, right. Which Fox can do because that's closer

to his normal persona. The more impressive part is him being so sort of stripped down and unassuming for the first two thirds. Jamie Foxx can be steely and tough. Sandler, I don't know if I buy that. But anyway, I mean, and, you know, I feel like this didn't really affect Sandler's career. It was kind of value neutral, wasn't it? I mean, like, no one really cared that he...

Yeah, this was a nothing on Sandler. He had just put so much less on the line. Yeah, exactly. He doesn't really... There's nothing... He emerges unscathed from this. I think it just made people go, like, oh, weird, okay, so conclusively, people don't go see the Sandler dramedies.

Like, they see the Happy Madison movies, but if you plot them into one of these, it's not going to be an automatic box office success. Sure, that's true. Although, they didn't really advertise it with him. But the poster is, do you know what the tagline for this movie is? Every family needs a hero. He's the only one who's in focus.

What does it mean? It means every family needs a hero. Yeah. The poster should have been the sandwich. He is not above the title. He's not above the title? No actors are credited above the title. The poster is both of them, sort of.

But it's such a weird poster. It looks like the poster for Happy End. It does. The weirdest part of the poster is that the Mexican characters have their backs to the audience. So we can't see their faces. I don't understand what's weird about that. And so you've got Sandler sort of standing here.

And then Taya's got her floppy hat. Sarah Steele's sort of awkwardly sandwiched there. The final injustice to Taylor Leone. We're going to put the hat on the poster. They're actually all women. All the three, like Steele, Leachman, and Leone are all wearing floppy hats. They're very religious.

They got the dreamers disease. Do you know how... What a callback. I tweeted something at you guys recently of Tom Cruise in the bucket hat

from Vanilla Sky and do you have any idea I had to be I was supposed to be writing a rap of the Golden Globes it was like 1230 I had to find it

on Amazon find the scene and it was loading slowly just to take a single screenshot for a stupid tweet joke you took a screenshot for that shit

I was like how do you get this so good that's what I was going, how did he get this so good? You are better than anyone else, Richard, at responding to a tweet with just an image, no caption, and finding just the right screen cap. But I didn't realize

you put that much effort into actually capping yourself. In that instance, I did. I have the Mark Rylance saved on my Easter egg. So you can shoot it off the hip at any moment. Can we tell people what I got you for Christmas? My Christmas present to you? Sure. You got him a Christmas present?

I got you one too as well. I got you Rey. She's from the Resistance. Oh, I got you Kylo Ren. I took home Rey and Ben got a red boy. Of course, next year Ben's going to get Spanglish on Blu-ray. That's my present for him. He's made Christmas a lot easier. The price is only going up. This is like kayak. There's like a graph. I know. I'm going to buy you alish on Blu-ray. That's my present for him. He's made Christmas a lot easier. The price is only going up. This is like kayak.

There's like a graph. I'm going to buy you a couple. It's a good investment. Okay, great. One you can play. The other ones you can't. What did you get Richard for Christmas? It's a cryptocurrency.

Spanglish Blu-rays. I got Richard for Christmas. Richard has been a big, big fan of the one shot of Mark Rylance in the Ready Player One trailer. His whole look, his whole... His little demeanor. His joie de vivre.

Yeah. And so for Christmas, I made Richard an Elf Yourself video where all the faces were Mark Rylance. Oh, I saw that. It's pretty good. Yeah, it was a good Christmas present. No, you called Steven Spielberg

and asked him to direct an Elf Yourself video. That's right. Shot by Janusz Kaminski. It was all mocap. Yeah, it was set to Taking Care of Business, and it featured five breakdancing. It's really great. It's unnerving, but I like it.

It is great. And also, they're making printers and stuff. The toys they're making are very strange. They're Taking Care of Business. They work for Staples. Let's play the box office game and then send Richard out of the door. Gotta go see... Commuter? Gotta board the train? Yep. It's Neeson season, baby then send Richard out of the door. Gotta go see... You gotta board the train.

It's Neeson season, baby. We're recording this in January. Spanglish. Open number three at the box office on December 17th. This was a big holiday movie. It was a Christmas movie. This Malibu summer movie was released at Christmas. Let's also make it clear, aside from Punch Drunk Love, which people went, okay, but that was PTA too artsy,

and Little Nicky, which was his only real happy mass and pan out at this point, every Sandler movie opens to between 30 and 40 and ends up over 100. That's true. So I think even if they thought, well, it's not going to play as big as a normal Sandler. They thought it would at least. He's a sure thing. It opened to $8.8 million dollars okay uh number three at the box office it grosses 42 on an 80 million dollar budget it made 12 foreign so total 55 yeah so not

good nope number one was also a new release uh it's a adaptation of a children's series of books this is 2004 this is 2004 so it's not Narnia's the following year not Narnia is it Chamber of Secrets no oh

is it A Series of Unfortunate Events that's the one another sort of somewhat disappointing Christmas release like it did better than Spanglish like don't get me wrong but that movie cost a ton of money

yes and it made like $1.15 it's also one of the most expensive looking movies of all time an annoying Christmas release. It did better than Spanglish. Don't get me wrong, but that movie cost a ton of money. It made like $1.15. It's one of the most expensive looking movies of all time. Doesn't Meryl Streep get eaten by snakes or leeches? She gets eaten by leeches. I like that movie. I'm not a fan. I do not like that TV show.

I haven't watched the show. Number two is a sequel that is very strange. A very strange sequel to a very successful movie. Hmm. Ocean's 12? The Widowmaker? Do you know why I got that?

Because I just watched it like three days ago and I couldn't get over how strange it is. It's awesome. I hated that movie when I first saw it. I thought it was so indulgent

and it was just like look at us in Italy but I kind of like it. I think it's brilliant. I think that Julia Roberts joke is despicable. I love it. I love it but I've always wanted a. I think the Julia Roberts joke is despicable. I love it, but I've always wanted a movie to make that joke.

That's the thing. I've always wanted a movie to make that joke. But I was sitting there watching and I was like, I totally understand why audiences turned against this. I can't believe every major critic hated it at the time. There was instant cult status, I would say, for that one.

How much did it make? It was a hit. It was a hit, made 125 domestic. there were cult defenders there was instant cult status I would say for that one but yes how much did it make because it wasn't it was like it was a hit top 10 for that year it was a hit made 125 domestic I guess they made the third one

362 worldwide yeah I mean it wasn't like the kind of hit I think they wanted it to be but it was a hit it is such a strange movie I love that movie

number four is the real Christmas movie of this year which has already made 123 million dollars in six weeks so it came out like Thanksgiving time

and it is just chugging along 2004 yeah not National Treasure Oscar winning director Oscar winning director did it become an Oscar player? no

it's not a it's a children's film it's a children's film not Speely 2004 it's a franchise or is it a one off? one off

based on a book it's a one off based. It's a children's film. Not Speely. 2004. It's a franchise or is it a one-off? One-off. Based on a book. It's a one-off based on a book. 2004. Came around Thanksgiving. Chugging away. Yep. Try to remember. Because I'm remembering 2004 Thanksgiving.

Chugging away is a clue. Polar Express. Oh, yeah. Which opened small. Opened small and people were like, oh, I guess. Because it was crazy expensive. People went like, Dez a doornail. And then it just kept fucking playing

Polar Express baby train kept chugging number 5 is another sequel in a franchise it's a weird sequel it's a weird movie another weird sequel Blade Trinity I remember this season very vividly Jesus Blade Trinity

which was kind of a flop weird movie Beale Ryan Reynolds and that was when people were like Ryan Reynolds ooh and that was supposed to be his big like coming out as an action star

right Hannibal King and they fight Dracula that's the movie where Blade finally fights Dracula and he's played by

Prison Break oh Wentworth Miller no the other one oh Big Head Dominic Purcell correct yeah he's got a big

old potato head he's not Dracula that's Wentworth Miller not No, the other one. Oh, Big Head? Dominic Purcell? Correct. Yeah, he's got a big old potato head. He's not Dracula. Wentworth Miller, not bad. I can see that. Yeah, but Dracula's not a hulking. But that movie contains the best supporting actress performance of 2004. Parker Posey? Correct.

Yeah, yeah. She's good in it. You're a vampire, Blade. You like drinking blood. You're a vampire, Blade. You like drinking blood. So I'm going to tie you to this chair until you're so hungry that you need blood. And you're ready to turn to a vampire.

And I'm going to drop a little girl in here. And you're going to eat her, Blade. That's the actual monologue she gives. That's amazing. Great way to end our Spanglish episode. It was just two years away from her wonderful supporting turn in Superman. Yeah. Oh, she's great in that crazy fucking movie. She did a good run of heel turns in the 2000s.

Josie and the Pussycats. Cal Penn doesn't speak a word. Remember that? He's like six built. I know. It's crazy. Apparently, he was like old roommates with Brandon and Ralph when they were like getting started. And he was like, can we cast Cal Penn?

He's like, does he want to be a featured extra? Yeah, right. Does he want to be the henchman who doesn't speak? Right. Anyway, so that's the movie. The Aviator opened that weekend, too, in 40 screens, as did Million Dollar Baby in eight screens. Aviator ultimately did pretty well.

Became the first Scorsese to crack a Honda. Did quite well. Made 102. Was very expensive, but still. Scorsese had never been a century man before that. I know. I remember when that movie came out, it did feel like a turnaround after Gangsta New York, which the whole narrative was like

cost so much money, didn't even make that much, didn't win any Oscars. Thank you, Ben. Some merchandise spotlight. I'm going to buy Ben the Spanglish Blu-ray. I love you, Ben. What merchandise spotlight. I'm going to buy Ben the Spanglish Blu-ray. Yep. I love you, Ben. What the bleep do we know has almost hit $10 million.

That's a weird run that we never talked about. A Marley Matten vehicle? What the bleep do we know? I always think that gif of the lady thinking of the weird is from what the bleep do we know, but it's not. Is it fuck or hell? I don't know. I think it's supposed to be fuck. Okay. What the Bleep Do We Know, but it's not. Is it fuck or hell? I don't know. I think it's supposed to be fuck. Okay. What the fuck do we know?

But that's, I mean, that's the central question that made audiences go back to the theater over and over again. That was revealed in a post-credits tag.

Didn't they also- Where Marlee Matlin just comes up and goes, fuck. Isn't one of those movies where then it was like huge on DVD and then they re-edited it

and put new features onto it and then like did a special edition in theaters that made another couple of million dollars. Yeah, sure. I don't even know what it's about. Yeah, they added in another Jabba scene.

I swear to God, there's another release of that movie called What the Bleep Do We Know? Deeper Down the Rabbit Hole. And it's not a sequel. It's an expanded edition that was released in theaters. Yeah, I released it.

Blank Check Pictures. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my trolls, your What the Bleep Do We Know? To be fair, that. Blank check pictures. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, my trolls, your, what the bleep do we know? To be fair, that was blank check classics. That was our specialty arm. Blank check vantage. Because the Esther Zuckerman film is a four-quadrant picture for us. Of course.

Unless Disney buys you. Are you kidding me? Butts in seats, she puts. I said unless Disney buys you, and then they're going to shut you down. Disney is, I mean, we're angling for a buyout. Right. Well, at this point,

Disney has bought all major studios. I'm assuming this episode is going to come out a little while from now. right? Yeah. At this point, yeah,

it's only, it's just like Disney and like Sony because Disney's like, eh, no thanks. Do you know, do you know that Disney owns all, I've talked about this with you,

Disney owns all the characters that were created for the Tick cartoon show? Oh, yes, all the characters that were created for the Tick cartoon show oh yes you have talked about me because the Tick cartoon was done for Fox and there were only

12 issues of the comic before they got the cartoon so there are all these characters that like people constantly ask us if they're going to be on the show and you're like but Disney like

won't sell the rights because it's like what it's not worth getting off the couch for them it's like come on 50 bucks a couple Spanglish Blu-rays 50 bucks is a lot of money Disney won't sell the rights because it's not worth getting off the couch for them. Come on, 50 bucks, a couple of Spanglish Blu-rays.

50 bucks is a lot of money. I keep on sending Bob Iger 50 bucks on Venmo and being like, just give me Sewer Urchin. That's all I want is Sewer Urchin. Sure. And they won't do it. Do you think they'd notice if you did it? Do you think Disney would sort of be like, hey, that's ours. Well, that's why the Warburton show they have, Batman Well, is like they came up with all these workaround characters.

All right, I got to pee. Richard's got to go. We're done. This is a great ep, though. Richard, your book out now in hardback? Yeah, all we can do is wait, it's called, but you don't have to wait anymore. Hey. Put it in those greasy mitts of yours.

Yeah, it's a quick read. It's for teenagers give it to your teen give it to your teen have a teen give it to Sarah Steele if you don't know a real teen

she can pass yep you're the best always a five time this is a good one it's a five timers club we forgot the ceremony it's a five timer

I get a jacket it's a five timer you're wearing a nice sweater. Yeah, thanks. It was on sale. So we'll send the bathrobe to your home. We have it engraved.

Oh, good. Embroidered. Who else is in it? By this point, Emily will be in there. That's maybe it. JD's at four. I think he's tapping

on the door. I think it's just you and Emily. Yeah. You'd be my guest. Interesting. Wow. You're going to shank her at the commuter screening tonight? Yeah, that's right.

So by the time this airs, I'll be in jail. Yes, correct. Also, by the time this episode comes out, it's 2025, right? Yeah, exactly. Mars 2025. Yes. Mars has reopened. Yes.

We're back, baby. We're going to make it this time. 2112. Thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew for our social media. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe. Thanks to Andrew for our social media, Joe Bone and Pat

Reynolds for our artwork, Lane Montgomery for our theme song. Go to Blinkies.red.com for some real nerdy shit. And thank you to

our sponsors, Brooklinen and WeTransfer. And as always, Adam Sandler fundamentally cannot come. Great.