Blank Check with Griffin & David - The Abyss with Josh Ruben

Episode Date: October 7, 2016

Josh Ruben (CollegeHumor) joins Griffin and David to discuss the 1989 underwater alien thriller The Abyss. But why exactly is this movie impossible to find anywhere on the internet? Just how much of wet nightmare was this production for the cast and crew? What ARE some things to do in Denver when you’re dead? Together they draw parallels certain between the lead characters failing marriage, share Chris Elliott scoops, examine Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio ’s career and why Ed Harris refuses to talk about this film ever again (hint: he didn’t like being repeatedly drowned.)

There's everything you've ever known about adventure. And then there's the podcast, Biss. Great. Hey, everybody. My name is Griffin. Let's get the show on the road. I'm David Sims. This is Blank Check with Griffin and David.

We are hashtag the two friends. Yeah. We are two friends who host a podcast together. Yeah. And people hashtag it. Right. And sometimes one of the friends is late because of the subway. And so we get through the introduction really quickly

Yeah Yeah Also let's put some blame on my landlord Let's not just the subway Subways and landlords New York City guys New York City problems Three things delayed me today

The subway My landlord And a nice street hot dog You know what I'm saying Did you get a street hot dog? No I was just trying to think of a third New York thing I don't know Sure

And Slimer driving my cab There we go hot dog. You know what I'm saying? Did you get a street hot dog? No, I was just trying to think of a third New York thing. I don't know. Sure. And Slimer driving my cab. There we go. That's why we brought this man in on the show today. This is 80s New York, guys. Hi, it's Jake and Amir. It's Jake and Amir. This is Blank Check. Yeah, this is Blank Check. Our favorite thing to do is to

have the guests speak and not introduce them for like a minute. Guests gotta talk before we talk about it. So feel free to say whatever you want but we're not going to introduce you for like one more minute but you can contribute as much or as little as you want. Oh good, this is a place on Earth more awesome than anywhere in space. So you know, deep below the blue surface there lies a place no one's ever dreamed of. Oh, he was looking for the taglines for us.

That's a really good one. And there's also Believe Your Eyes. I just wanted to throw that out there. Jesus Christ, there are a lot. Believe a lot. Everyone believes their eyes in this movie. Yeah, there's also Believe Your Eyes. I just wanted to throw that out there. Jesus Christ, there are a lot. Believe a lot. Everyone believes their eyes in this movie. Yeah. There's no disbelief. The only people who don't believe are the people who haven't seen it. Once they see it, they're like, yeah, yeah, no, you were right.

No, sure. For sure. Yeah. Inarguably, those are Netties. What's the tagline? Can you read your one that you love? He made your heart pound with the Terminator. Then he stopped it with aliens.

And then now James Cameron presents the summer's most original adventure, The Abyss. He didn't stop our heart with Aliens. He made it pound with Aliens and with the Terminator. And my heart grew when fucking Ripley takes a newt in her arms. My heart grew Grinch style, you know?

I think that movie's heartwarming. Bishop, not bad for a rubbit. All good. We're referencing last week's episode. Isn't this a book written by, his name isn't John Marquardt. You mean Orson Scott Card? He wrote a novelization. Whoever killed John Benny Ramsey didn't write The Abyss, but John Marquardt.

We don't know who killed John Benny Ramsey. That's true. The question is unanswered. Could have been, what's his name? Orson Scott Card, who is an absolute lunatic. Yeah, he's a famed homophobe and the author of Ender's Game. Whoa! Which is a great book.

Harrison Ford's Ender's Game? Yes, exactly. Haley Steinfeld's Ender's Game. Yeah. She was in that, right? Yep, 100%. I saw it. Haley Jo Steinfeld was in that?

Yes, Haley Jo Steinfeld. I signed that Bible. But yeah, I can't even... He's crazy. He's crazy in like eight different ways, right? Orson Scott Card? yeah, I can't even. He's crazy. He's crazy in like eight different ways, right? Orson Scott Card? Yeah. He's a crazy person.

Yeah, a bunch of ways. He's a Mormon. He hates the gays very actively. It's not just like, well, I'm not crazy about him. He goes out of his way to let everyone know. But isn't he also, he also thinks we should all live on an island in the moon or something. 100%. I don't know.

I feel like he's one of those guys who throws you a curveball. Yeah. Along with the traditional shit. We're getting ahead of ourselves here. This is a podcast called Blank Check. We go through filmographies of directors who have big success early on and get a series of blank checks to make their own crazy projects. Sometimes those checks clear and sometimes they bounce. You've got it down.

You're an actor. You can learn lines. It's great. I mean, I could never do that, what you just did. It only takes 75 episodes and I got it. That's the reason they call me 75 Take Newman. Because the 75th time is word perfect. We're currently, we do miniseries.

And the filmmaker we're currently talking about in this miniseries is one, Slick Jimmy Cameron. Yep. Slippery Jimmy. Slippery Jimmy. Wet Jim. Wet Jim. Oh. Well, that sounds second.

Soaking wet. But he is soaking wet. Yeah. Dripping wet Jim. Dripping wet Jim. This miniseries is called Podinator colon Judgment Cast. Correct. You nailed it. That's what it's called. You nailed wet. Yeah. Dripping wet Jim. Dripping wet Jim. This miniseries is called Podinator, colon, Judgment Cast. Correct. You nailed it.

That's what it's called. You nailed it. Yeah. And today we're talking about The Abyss. The Abuse. We have, well. That's what the crew members called this movie. Oh, really?

That's funny. Oh, yeah. Yeah. They printed out t-shirts that said, life's abuse and then you die. That's really funny. Yeah. They didn't like making this movie. It's a good joke.

Five comedy points. Dude, The Crew of the Abyss, 1989. That's really funny. Yeah, they didn't like making this movie. It's a good joke, five comedy points. Dude, The Crew of the Abyss, 1989. That's the film we're talking about, and we have a very special guest here today. Oh, yeah. Who? Oh, there's someone else in the room. This guy can throw a Slimer reference like no other.

Uh-oh. Ed Harris. Came up the ranks with Jake and Amir. He did. He was a college humor guy. Yeah. And he currently has a podcast on the HeadGum Network. Yeah.

That's true. Called the Mindhouse Podcast. And he's a phenomenal actor and director. He's all right. And a friend of mine. We've known each other for a long time now. We've known each other for a bit. Yes, it's me, Josh Cameron, and I'm really excited to be here.

It's James Cameron's son. Josh. Joshy. Josh, pretenses Ruben Cameron. I call my mother Linda. I don't call her mom. Oh, wow. That's a deep cut.

I like that. I want to get back around to the Orson Scott. Did Galen Heard have any kids? Okay, yeah, sure. Talk about Orson Scott. She had kids with Brian De Palma. Yeah, man. I don't think she had kids.

What a fucking time those 80s directors had. Crazy. Just swapping wives and abandoning children. God. You know what Brian De Palma's daughter with Galen Hurt is named, right? I don't. Are you ready for your skin to crawl? Yeah, sure. So just think.

Oh no, I know what it is. It's Brian De Palma. He's not doing this by accident. His daughter's name is Lolita. Oh gosh. Oh no. Oh Brian De Palma. Have you seen De Palma? Transgressive to the end. Oh, Brian De Palma. Have you seen De Palma? Transgressive to the end.

Did you see De Palma, the documentary? No, I haven't seen it. It's so fucking good, and you should watch it. I will. It's so good. And he has this thing where he doesn't swear, and he just keeps going like, holy mackerel. And by the 10th time he does it, my theater was just in hysterics. Holy mackerel.

Can you do scissor on action again exactly i mean he's like and then you know we put michael kane in the wig and holy mack you know it's the most obscene human being in the world but he doesn't believe in having a potty mouth 12 minute one take holy moly um so the abyss you want to talk about orson scott card he just wrote the novelization yeah okay so so james cameron wrote the screenplay and then this is, I looked it up today because this film is very hard to watch now. I had to borrow Josh's DVD, Josh.

There is a 4K version of it supposedly coming out next year. Okay. Like Cameron's supposedly tinkering away at some Blu-ray of it, you know. But it's currently not on any streaming platforms. It's fucking impossible to find. It's not on,

but it's not on iTunes. That's the other thing, you can't rent it for money. You can't buy this movie online, which you can buy fucking anything. It literally only exists legally on physical media. It's not available in any sort of digital form as of this moment. Why do you think that is? It's on Laserdisc. This is an Academy

Award winning. Yeah, Josh is holding up his copy of the DVD, which has a sleeve around it that's gold that says Academy Award winner visual effects. Yeah, it did win one Academy Award. I mean, I think, because we had some chat about this on Twitter, I think it's just Cameron is he's not going to put something else

out half-ass. He likes to put out these very curated special editions. I think that's the thing. He just wants to fix it up, you know, and God knows he's going to change the ending again or something. I mean, who knows? I remember times over the last five or six years seeing it on like your your netflix's your hbo goes i think it was still in circulation up until pretty recently i think because he's close to finishing

this remaster he has the power and the sway certainly within fox to be like nope i don't want anyone watching it until i have my better version it's a fox joint it's a fox joint this was the beginning of, oh no, well, I'll get to this. This is an interesting detail. No, because aliens is fox,

right? Right. Yeah. But he starts a deal right after Terminator 2, his Lightstorm deal. Oh yeah. Does that,

does that, I get final cut on everything always? It's the deal that gives him $500 million to work with him, essentially. He makes a deal

after Terminator 2 that's for five years and $500 million. And part of that deal is he gets an additional half a million dollars to finish The Abyss four years later. Yeah, he fixed The Abyss with that deal. Yeah, so theatrical's 1989

and then they re-release it in 93. Because after Terminator 2 in 91, he's like, give me half a million. I'm bringing Idleland back full force. He's like, Catherine Bigelow gets to make strange days yeah you know he does all kinds of stuff yeah and i just love that it's like five years 500 million dollars he makes two movies one of them costs 115 million dollars the other one costs twice as much 250 million little movie called titanic titanic yeah um all right but yes josh

josh and i are currently currently working on something together. We're shooting something together. And thankfully, we've been talking about Cameron on set and talking about The Abyss. And then I was like, oh, of course, we should have you on. And realized it was unwatchable. I'm seeing you every day, so you're able to bring in the thing. But the other thing is we are currently working with a cast member of The Abyss. Oh, my God.

Chris Elliott. Chris Elliott. This is in the show. And me and Josh were talking about this off mic, about how he's not in, he wasn't in the nightmare part of the shoot, right? Because he's up on the boat up top. I think he got pretty clean. He didn't

have to go underwater. He's in one location the whole time. On the boat. They probably shot him for like four days. He sits in a chair. He looks at a control panel. But apparently they still did, I didn't get to ask him about this, but apparently they still made him do 30 takes, you know, of whatever. Jesus Christ. I didn't get to ask him about this, but apparently they still made him do 30 takes of whatever. Jesus Christ. I don't even remember a fucking thing he does

except look at a control panel. I mean, he's very charming in it. Oh, yeah. It's like one of those great, like... He's well cast. He gets his moments in it. He's well cast. He plays Bendix.

But that's the thing. In a movie like this where you have a lot of people looking at screens and delivering information, what you want is an actor like Chris Elliott who's always going to make it a little more interesting than it's written. In a movie like this where you have a lot of people looking at screens and delivering information, what you want is an actor like Chris Elliott who's always going to make it a little more interesting than it's written. A little nuance. Yeah, there's just some weird stuff going on. He's not going full get a life, but he's doing some weird character stuff.

There's an eye twitch in there. He has a hive. Let's do something about Marriott. Woogie. Five comedy points. Did you hear Bridie was telling this story about I think she was telling it and then when he walked in she stopped telling it.

Bridie Elliott who is also in the show. So we're working on a show right now called Thanksgiving in which Chris Elliott plays our father and we are two of six siblings including Bridie, Chris's real daughter. Six people who look identical. Did you, oh, all of us.

We cut from the same cloth, comedically. And did she tell you, was it the one about the laughing, the close encounters thing? Yeah. Okay. She was, like, telling it, and then when he walked in, she sort of stopped the story. Like, I think it was, like,

because then we were talking about the episode and we were holding up the DVD, and he was walking in, like, the room, and I could tell He was like Are they gonna fucking like Big time me Are they doing something

Make me big time them Yeah he's a great guy Right right But I could tell The unease of like Are they doing this on purpose Do they know I'm in this movie This fucker's gonna ask me

To sign that gold sleeve That was the thing I was literally holding up A gold sleeve DVD And like gesturing and stuff So you didn't talk to Chris Elliott about the abyss We didn't

But Bridie his daughter Bridie his daughter Was like oh my dad Has a really funny story about the abyss. And we're like, what is it? And it's like there's the moment where he's like sort of laughing hysterically, I think, when they sort of like pull it off. Yeah. And the thing comes up. And he said he did that take as a goof.

He was parodying, what's her name, Melinda Dillon in Close Encounters for the Third Kind. And he was doing his impression just like, okay, this take, I'm going to do my Melinda Dillon thing. And that's the take they use. Hey. Which is kind of funny. It doesn't stand out. It doesn't. Like, it works.

He's a good actor. I mean, he was doing an impression, but he did it realistically. It's an ensemble. I mean, I just, yeah, I mean, yeah, exactly. But you don't for one scene think like, well, what the fuck's Chris Elliott doing? Yeah.

Like, why is he, oh. Yeah. You know, no, it works. It works. It definitely works. It's probably the best moment of the movie now that we think and talk about it. It's probably the best moment. It's probably what it think and talk about it. It's probably the best moment.

It's probably what it's all building toward. But this is the thing I find very interesting about this movie. And I realized, I was like, going into watching this time, I was like, have I ever seen this? Because there was a period in high school where I would just like, whenever I had to fucking do homework, I'd put a movie on. You know? Sure. Like there was a lot of whatever was on TV I'd watch in the background, sometimes depending

on how hard the homework was or how rebellious I was feeling. I'd watch it more or less closely. I think I've seen it, but maybe half-watched it or whatever. Watching it, I was like, no, I think I've only seen pieces of this. Same. And the interesting thing is, I realize how little I knew about it, but you have your core trifecta of Ed Harris,

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantano, and Michael Biehn. Mastrantonio. Mastrantonio. Michael Biehn. Yeah, I Master Antonio. Michael Biehn. Yeah, I mean, like, they were the, what, the three biggest stars of the 80s, right? Yeah, no question. Your Harris, Elizabeth, Master Antonio, and Biehn.

They were the three musketeers of Hollywood. Exactly. Right, right. Then they went, they're the three amigos, right? In the movie Three Amigos? Yes, 100%. And then Chris Elliott was the D'Artagnan. He was sort of the fourth.

Yeah, of course. Yeah. No, but I was, like, so surprised watching this. Like, you're used to movies like this, especially, like, James Cameron movies, where you look at the supporting cast of, like, The Grunts, and you're like. No, but I was so surprised watching this. You're used to movies like this, especially James Cameron movies, where you look at the supporting cast of The Grunts, and you're like, oh, that's that guy before he became that thing. Oh, you're going to make a point that I was going to make as well. It's really interesting that all the actors in this just sort of-

They're nobody. Were nobody. They were good, solid character actors who just- The hammer punch dude, what's his name? Captain in real life. One of the guys killed himself a year later and apparently he was like the only certified diver. Yeah. And the dude with the mouse is Todd Graff who directed Camp.

Oh, really? The Kendrick movie. Okay. And he did two other films. Oh, yeah, look at him. He's bald now. Yeah. His Wikipedia picture has him hugging the actress Kiki Palmer.

Oh, that's nice. But yeah, like, you know, it's weird that all of them sort of like, you know, you keep on going like, oh, someone's going to pop up in the background. Yeah. He wrote and directed Camp. Yeah. Yeah. No, I know.

I felt the exact same way. He's got these weird, like, I don't know, this weird skill for picking actors you never see again. Right. I guess in this movie. I'm trying to think if it's true of other movies. It's not so much. You look at Aliens and it's like, okay, like.

Those guys mostly pop up in other stuff. I don't feel like I've seen Sam Worthington since Avatar. Well, that is true. Yeah. Well, he was put in, he was, you know, he's still on Pandora. Well, the crazy thing. He is still stuck on Pandora. The crazy thing is you saw Sam Worthington so much before Avatar.

Like they did the best. Sure, because he'd made Avatar and then he goes and makes Terminator Salvation and he makes that movie where he's like on a ledge. Right, I think Clash of the Titans came out like two months after Avatar. Like he had like five in the can. It was all lined up. And then it just like done.

A little bit of a Jim Caviezel will pop up doing a man of interest. Yes, yes. Not person. No, no, no, man. Yeah. Let's be clear. Yeah. Yeah.

It's the MRA version of people of person of interest. It's a lot more specific. But there's like, you kept on looking. So it's like, you know, Paxton was like not really a big deal before Aliens, you know, and he obviously became a much bigger actor. Yeah, no, you're right. This isn't in Congress. And then someone like Jeanette Goldstein who never got huge, but it's like character actors

who worked in a lot of big movies. Mostly Cameron movies. Yeah. You know, Michael Biehn is the of these right people because he's just in james cameron movies i know he's in like the rock he's in a couple things but this is it right this is pretty much the last we hear of michael bean it's weird that yes and it's weird that that bean is the only one as well of like popped under the ocean correct like a balloon correct i agree it's weird that bean is

the only one of the usual cam and regulars in this movie because he usually has like he's going to give gold scene something paxton's in most of them you know like he's got a circulation of the same actors sort of over and over again and in this it's like just being and then chris elliott feels like that's the kind of personality you would want, like, on the actual ship. Yeah, let's make the tech talk funny. Right, instead he's, like, the point guy, you know? Yeah, he's, like, in the first five minutes of the last ten. Like, he's not really in the movie at all. But he's kind of the actor, the type of actor.

But he's the fourth one you remember. Yeah, he is. He absolutely is. He's the only other person in this movie I've ever heard of. But even, like, picking, like, Reiser right after Diner, you know? Oh, yeah. It's like you kind of expect all the other people to be populated the cast we populate and it's like well also i mean as ben and i were talking he's like who's the who's that woman like mary elizabeth master antonio was like the hottest ingenue right now

and she disappeared she was humongous i mean to look at her wikipedia i don't think she's made a stop after perfect storm like basically basically movie's 2002, is that right? No, her last movie's The Perfect Storm. Really? Maybe she's like Ellen Barkin and married like, you know, the heir to Maybelline or something.

She's married to a much older director who directed her in something. She's married to Pat O'Connor, an Irish director who made movies like Dancing at Lufthansa, Circle of Friends. Oh.

You know, not like a big director. So she's done like TV since then, but hasn't done a movie since. She did a movie called Tabloid in 2001. I've never heard of it. It's not a real movie. But you look at her career, right? So it's like, okay, uncredited extra in King comedy. That doesn't count.

No, it doesn't. And her first movie is Scarface. Right, where she's the sister. Okay. Right. Then her second movie is Color of Money for which she gets an Oscar nomination. Fuck. Yeah.

Okay. Then Slamdance. Then The Abyss. Then January Man where she meets her husband. Then Fools of Fortune. With Kevin Oscar nomination. Fuck. Okay, then Slamdance, then The Abyss, then January Man, where she meets her husband, then Fools of Fortune. With Kevin Kline. Yes.

It's not a bad movie. Then Fools of Fortune, then Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves. And then that's it. Oh, she was made Marian. Oh, yeah. And then it, like, stops.

Then she, like, still works, but in stuff that doesn't really get released, and they're more and more spread out. And then, like, there's nothing big in between Robin Hood Prince of Peace and Perfect Storm she's very good in Limbo

which is a basically unseen movie the John Sayles movie with David Strathairn yeah that's a good movie that was almost The River Wild

but not yeah it has a weird twist it's a good movie and she's good in The Perfect Storm but it's a it's not a big role

it's mostly just her yelling on the radio her on a walkie come back here Georgie come back here but I remember seeing like four year

consideration ads for that I mean I think it was a little half hearted but one of those made like half an attempt to be like that's a good supporting performance

did you know that the studio really pushed to have Michael Biehn get an Academy Award they apparently put a lot of money into that that was misguided he's very good in this

but there was no way he was ever going to get an Oscar nomination. If he was in the whole movie doing what he's doing in the movie, maybe. Cutting his arm under the table, yeah. But when he cuts his arm under the table, you're like, whoa, how crazy is this guy? I thought he was just a little mean.

Anyway, we'll get to it. He's fine. One 10-minute stretch where he's really playing the mania very well, and then that dissolves into fisticuffs. Big fights. the mania very well. Sure. And then that dissolves into fisticuffs. Big fights. Like that dissolves into big fights. And then it dissolves into crashing submarines into each other. Right, and before that he's just kind of like a grunt. He's like a, yeah.

Can I do some setup? Yes, yeah, let's do some setup. I'm going to do some setup. We love context on this show, Josh. I know you love context. We're fucking connoisseurs of context. We got- I'm just driving my cab.

See, that's the context you need because otherwise you wouldn't understand why the cab was so crazy. Why does this cab smell like hot dogs? Oh, context. Slimer is driving the cab. Of course, it is Slimer driving the cab. That's a great Slimer. Tasmanian devil?

All right, okay. James Cameron, he makes aliens. Huge. He's on top of the world, right? Yeah. He's married to Gaylan Hurd. Uh-huh. His producer on Terminator.

Does she produce aliens? I can't remember. Yeah, she does. Yeah. He reads about deep sea divers in National Geographic, and he's like, you know, you know him. He loves water. Okay.

He's into water. But this was the start of his deep dive. This is the start of him, I think, exploring. He just was a fan of water in sort of an abstract way, and then it became a real life. He saw water and he goes, I want to put actors in that. Wait a second. He writes a script that's very obviously based on,

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantoni is playing his wife, and Ed Harris is him. It's so obvious. Interesting. They are married while he's writing the script. They split up while the movie's going into pre-production. They are divorced by the time It's so obvious. Interesting. They are married while he's writing the script. They split up while the movie's going into pre-production.

They are divorced by the time the movie comes out. Wow. And she remains his producer. I mean, it's like they're stuck in a submarine together having to work together despite being at wit's end.

Well, she produces T2, but that's it. That's the end of their relationship. I'm saying she produced this. No, she produced this, for sure. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think T2 was probably contractual because she did the first one.

It is fascinating to imagine. This movie's playing out. It's the worst shoot. I'll get to that in a second. Pretty much in recorded Hollywood history, along with The Revenant and Days of Heaven. Not Days of Heaven. Heaven's Gate. Waterworld. It's the big ones they always talk about.

They're not married. They're breaking up. The movie's about a broken up couple. Who they figure it about. And like, yeah, they're not married. Like, they're breaking up. And the movie's about like a broken up couple who they figure it out. They get back together. They love each other. He's got the big ring. But anyway, that's crazy. You have to wonder if there was some sort of like attempt at self-actualization there.

Yeah, no, for sure. I don't know. He's romanticizing shit so much with this. They divorce after the movie comes out. Sorry, after the movie finishes shooting. They're like very. They divorce after the movie comes out. Sorry, after the movie finishes shooting. Okay. They're like very divorced by the time the movie comes out. Okay.

The movie, we just got, it's set mostly underwater. 40% of the photography in this movie is underwater. Right. They had to build special cameras to shoot underwater. Yeah. They had to build two tanks because there was no tank in existence that was large enough to shoot in. So they built two tanks that are like a gazillion

sorry, I've got it right here. 7.5 million gallons of water in these tanks. 55 feet deep. In the homophobic capital of the world too. In the Cayman Islands? It's in South Carolina. I'm sorry. Just before I forget, sidebar.

There were some great whites there. And I'm sorry just before I forget sidebar they still got some problems there were some great whites there and I'm not talking about the sharks right great Caucasians unbelievable Caucasians in that town just before I forget because it triggered

and we already opened this can of worms the Orson Scott card thing because someone threw out do you think the reason the movie isn't available is because there was a big sort of Orson Scott

card backlash in the last couple of years and there's always a bit of confusion as to whether or not he was instrumental in the writing of the film. Sure. Cameron wrote the script, then gave it to Orson Scott card like before they were filming to do a novelization. And can you deepen it and give more backstory to the characters for the actors to use?

So it wasn't just like broaden it for the audience. I got you. That was a big thing was like Orson Scott Card was writing additional backstory for Bean, Master Antonio, Ed Harris that all of them were like using. Like they were accepting the details that he was writing as canon. He wrote their character diary. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

But has no official credit on the film. Right. They covered this tank with a tarp. Also he's a homophobe. It needed to be dark so that they could light the movie. Okay. So just imagine you're Ed Harris. You have to get in a 55 foot deep tank of water in a fucking submarine.

You have no idea you're going to be doing HBO's Westworld in 20 years. You're not thinking about that yet. You liked Westworld, the movie. You don't know you're going to do The Hours. You don't know. Well, no, he knew. That one he knew. Josh, let's be honest.

He knew that for a long time. That was my friend Nicole. But then they're like, great, you're underwater, let's put the tarp over so it's total darkness. And can we go one step further? How fucking depressing is this? Can we go one step further? For a 15-minute set piece in the movie, we will drown

you. You're in the tank with the tarp and your helmet is also filled with water. So you're double submerged. And the water in the tank with the tarp, and your helmet is also filled with water. So you're double submerged. And the water in the movie is going to be like experimental water you can breathe. But in real life, it's just water we made pink. And you just have to hold your breath. This fluorocarbonated, fluorooxygenated carbon water, whatever it is. They really did put their heads in this water.

So they were breathing, quote unquote, this water. Probably like fucking, yeah, pants it is. They really did put their heads in this water. So they were breathing quote unquote this water. Probably like fucking, yeah, strawberry or whatever. For like 40 seconds at a time or whatever. You look at how much screen time he has with that helmet on. I mean. It's a nightmare. I mean, even if you're doing like.

There must have been some shots they did where there was some kind of like screen between him. Yeah, like a goldfish. But there are scenes that he was submerged his face was submerged in water because they have to. The physics of just how his face is sort of like swelling and everything you can tell even just the way it's moving in there. You also have to think like

okay so there's maybe like I don't know what the longest single shot without an edit of him in the thing is right. But even if you go like okay Ed Harris can only hold his breath for like 30 seconds to a minute so we can only shoot that much at a time that means that it probably took like two weeks to shoot all of that shit because he's probably got a solid 10 minutes the movie took uh the movie would shoot for the movie shot for six months easily 70 hours a week six days a week on an isolated set that's mostly underwater. On their day off,

they all cried. I want to lay this all out right now, just so then we can talk about the movie with just all that in mind. When the rat breathes the water, that's the actual experimental water. It's actually breathing, and that scene is not in the British release of The Abyss, because it was seen

as cruel to animals. Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio David grew up in England. I seen as cruel to animals. Wow. Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio. David grew up in England. I did. He drops it a lot. Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio literally freaked out when they were shooting the scene where she's getting revived

because they ran out of film on one take while he's like whacking her chest and she's topless. He still slapped her in the face and she walked out. And so apparently she screamed, we're not animals and refused to shoot anymore.

So all the shit of Ed Harris yelling is to nothing. He had to react off of nothing. Wait, so the film ran out and Ed Harris, I assume the explanation was that he's a method actor. He was in the moment. I don't know. He's just still wailing at her. I don't know. Insisted on continuing to hit her?

No, I don't know about that. Josh is just saying that. He's just making that up. He really did slap her in the face. Oh, no, yeah. He sure slapped her in the face. And then the camera ran out and Cameron didn't stop it.

Right, right. And it kept going. That's insane. So she refused to, like, Ed Harris said that... That's not even the worst that happened. Ed Harris said at one point he was driving home

and he just burst into spontaneous like sobbing and and couldn't stop. And he had to pull over and just sob for half an hour or whatever. And look, not to talk out of school, but Ed Harris is known as being one of the worst temperaments in Hollywood. Yeah, he's a grumpy man. I have a lot of friends who have worked with him in different capacities over the years, different set positions. him in different capacities over the years like you know at different set positions and even on just like a nice little movie that's like swimming along they're like that guy that's the toughest actor i've ever come across like he's just really particular yeah and real hair trigger is he a giving actor like is if you're good is he gonna i imagine him being very present with you good

actor he's such a good actor i do think there's probably a bit of a thing. How do you set him off? How do you bug Ed Harris if you're making the hours where all he has to do is sit on a windowsill? And also, did him and Vigo just lock horns? I mean, because come on. That's the thing. I would imagine he's kind of one of those guys where he gives a lot to his actors if he feels like they're challenging him. Sure.

He doesn't work in a, like, gentle collaborative way. It's like we have to fucking, like, lock horns and push each other harder and harder. Yeah, sure. He's antagonistic. He's like Pollock. I mean, that's why he always wanted to make a movie about Jackson Pollock, who was, like, the most gigantic fucking shit asshole in the whole universe. And he was like, this is the guy I need to play.

And that's also like what makes him a good actor like that's the very quality that he brings across in his performances where it's like Ed Harris just seems so serious minded about everything he's doing I had like a friend who was like a first team PA on a movie he worked on and that position is literally your job is to get the actors and be like

hey they need you on set now and you go to hair and makeup and he just said every interaction that was just him doing like my job is to say like Ed hey they need you in set now, and you go to hair and makeup, and he just said every interaction that was just him doing, like, my job is to say, like, Ed, hey, they need you in hair and makeup, was just, like, I mean, hellish. What was the movie? I don't remember what movie it was. It was a smaller thing in, like, the last 10 years. It was, like, an independent film.

So, just, I just want to wrap all this up. There was a lightning storm that tore the tarp to pieces, so they then had to shoot only at night. So they then had to shoot only at night. And some of the divers' skin was burned and their hair turned white because they were under the water so much. It was chlorinated. Yeah, right.

Jesus Christ. Michael Biehn says he was on set for like five months and acted for three weeks. So it was a lot of also just like waiting and sitting and like doing nothing. The movie cost about $70 million to make. The original budget was 43. Ed Harris will never speak about it. He says, I'm never talking about it and I never will.

That's his quote about the movie. Apparently there's a documentary called Under Pressure that's supposed to be. Ooh, I'd like to see that. I mean, that's a great title. Also say... Mary Elizabeth Rasmussen Antonio said, the abyss was a lot of things. Fun to make was not one of them. That's all.

That's all. That's all I got for you. I just wanted to give you guys, you know... That having said, pretty good movie. Yeah, decent movie. I don't know, but it's like... It's interesting. You know, you hear about what a nightmare Titanic was to make or whatever. And you're like, well, you know what? They got a fucking movie everyone remembers out of it.

The Abyss isn't quite that. I agree with you, but I also think... Is The Abyss one of the five best movies Ed Harris ever made? No. No, National Treasure 2, Book of Secrets. I wish I had four more right off the dome. No, what I was going to say is, though, I think the difference between this and Titanic is Titanic is like, ooh, that was complicated, but boy, they made this transcendent thing

that connected with everybody and broke all the rules and whatever. This movie gained some power from how burnt out everything is. Well, it's kind of Revenant-esque, right? Although I think this movie is better than The Revenant. I think inarguably, infinitely better. But I think there is something where this movie is, A, it's the saddest movie Cameron's ever made. Yeah. I think inarguably, infinitely better. But I think there is something where like this movie is, A, it's the saddest movie

Cameron's ever made. Yeah. I think. It's very haunted. It's very haunted. But then it ends happy, which doesn't work. That's sort of part of the problem.

Which feels a little jarring and I think that's probably where I didn't know the context of the divorce happening while this movie was happening. Maybe he's trying to fix things. Yeah. Because I think the better version

of this movie ends with them split up. No, the better version of this movie ends with them split up. No, the better version of this movie ends with him at the fucking bottom of the ocean. With the aliens. And he stays down there and she thinks he's dead and she goes on with her life. Sure. Wait, the only version I feel like I remember is them rekindling at the top. Oh, yeah.

Oh, they rekindle. So that's what everybody in the world saw. We're saying that's the idealized version of the movie that doesn't exist. There's a version. Wait a minute. This was not shot. This is us rewriting. He's saying he wants it to be this way.

That's what I want it to be. There is indeed a better version. Right. Because the two fake outs they do with the deaths in the movie, spoiler alert, where each one has the near death experience. Get guys spoiler alert. We're going to spoil the abyss. 1989's abyss.

Both times that happened, I was like, I'm going to give this movie a lot of credit if they kill one of them off because they're a couple that shouldn't be together and they're both married to their work and it makes sense for one of them to have to make the sacrifice, you know?

Yeah. And then, I mean, if you want to talk about the most autobiographical version of this film in hindsight, it's 2020, you probably didn't have the self-awareness to do this at the time, is she goes up to land and goes on with her life and James Cameron stays at the bottom of the ocean and gets out again. Yeah, just being happy.

Right. That's where he wants to be. Like he doesn't really understand human. The aliens are the worst part of the movie, like in terms of their purpose in the plot. A little liquid butterfly? Come on. That same thing later went on to control the body in Independence Day. It does kind of look like that thing in Independence Day.

And ILM made both movies. And here's another crazy thing. That same thing. They might have been like, let's just put some goo on the abyss sailing. Come on. People don't know that. How hard do we have to work? But those same things, they were in the abyss.

They were the same things in Independence Day. And they also wrote things to do in Denver when you're dead. Great. They did a great job. They did a great job. Solid script. Is that the movie with Christopher Walken and Andy Garcia? Yeah.

That's correct. When he goes, well, you can suck my dead dick. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's really good. Oh, Josh is like a master impressionist. I don't know if he knows. He's a slimer.

He's busted out three impressions. That's the only thing I remember about things to do in Denver when you're dead. Not to be a good line. He's busted out three impressions. That's the only thing I remember about Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead. It has Buscemi as Mr. Sh. He's like an assassin called Mr. Sh. That movie, Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead, is like the ultimate Tarantino jizz movie

where they're just like, gangsters! Everyone's got a weird name! This is good, right? He ate his own shit and he talked about it being spongy. Yeah. Do you have an Ed Harris? Have you ever done it? No, but I bet it'd be something close to that.

Like, no. You're within range. You're definitely within range. You're 80s Harris right now. I was just watching Westworld this week, and he's now just so gravelly. He's so far down the register. Got him in a fucking history oflly. He's so far down the register. Got him in a fucking

a history of violence. So it's the best. That's what he's Fulgrity. That's what you want from him now. He's just a man who walks into a room

and everyone's like I don't want it. I don't want to even sit next to this guy. Didn't he just very quickly get shot in the head and then it was about William Hurt.

He gets killed like the halfway point but the first half he's in a lot. He's in a lot because he's the one who shows up to the diner and is like,

I heard you killed a bunch of guys. You killed people. You're sure nice, Vigo. I just remember he says Fogarty so much in that movie because he's trying

to call Vigo's brother up. He goes, here's what's bugging me. I'm thinking about this guy, Fogarty. He just keeps saying Fogarty. Fogarty, Fogarty. I think he dies

right at the halfway point. Maybe it's a little past halfway. I need to watch that movie again. It's on the lawn. Oh, yeah. It's great. Because then he has the rough sex with Maria Bello on the stairs. Yes, after that.

And then, because the last part of that movie, William Hurt. Yeah, the big hurt comes in, and he lays it down. Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. Big Hurt is so incredible in that movie. It's one of those perfect... Did they get an Academy Award nomination? Yes, 100%.

For six minutes of screen time. For a six minute monologue. They campaigned Harris harder. That's what I was going to say. And he won some critics awards. He's also good in the movie. But no. Harris got a little fucked over

because I think he would have gotten nominated if William Hurt... If anyone else had played the William Hurt role, I think Ed Harris would have gotten a Best Supporting Actor nomination that year. Jimmy, what the fuck? There's that scene at the end. The first half of the movie, you're watching Harris,

and you're like, this is unbelievable. And then when Hurt comes on screen, it's hard to remember the rest of the movie. Joey, what the fuck? What the fuck, Joey? Raheem. Raheem. Raheem, listen.

You fucked with me. We were all so ready for William Hurt just like own shit for another 10 years. And he kind of didn't. It was sort of a bummer. It was weird. Then he did Stephen King's dreamscape. Nightmare scapes. Anyway, nightmares and dreamscape.

It was very odd because that was such a good kind of comeback performance. It's actually buried deep in the movie. So Eddie Harris actually. Can I say something about Eddie Harris? Hey, guess who it is! I was waiting for you to come in, Benny. This is a wet movie for you. Oh, I love it.

Soaking wet. This, of course, the man who loves wet and loves it big. I've said that on the podcast before. It's true. Producer Ben. Ben Hosley. Ben Ducer. Purdueer Ben.

Birthday Benny. Tiebreaker it's all true Poet Laureate our finest film critic yeah yeah White Hot Benny the fuck master

he is not Professor Crispy no despite the fact that his audio is crisp and we've had some people recently in reviews on iTunes

say that it's very hard for them to not call him Professor Crispy because they notice how crisp the audio is it's crisp but don't do it and And I understand the struggle.

The struggle's real, but you have to fucking hold back. Do not do it, please. Green with a hello fennel. Yeah, you can do that. Call him Mr. Positive. If you want to portmanteau it. Yeah, that's cool. He has, of course, graduated to different titles over the course of different miniseries.

Producer Ben Kenobi. Kylo Ben. Ben I. Chalmalon. Beniseries. Right, right, right, right. Producer Ben Kenobi. Yeah. Kylo Ben. Ben I. Chalmalon. Mm-hmm. Ben Sate. Yeah. And, of course, regrettably, Benny Lane. Yeah.

Not a fan. But, hey, whatever. The fans, that's what they want. Benny Lane, that's his name. That's his name. Hello. Yep. Yeah. Benny Lane.

The thing about this intro, as it gets longer and longer, the comment that I'm about to make is so stupid, and it really builds it up. To me, that's the funny thing. You're like, hey, I just wanted to say one thing, and we're like, oh, it's Ben! All right, he's going to say something. And I want to reassure Josh that he is our finest film critic.

I am. I'm really good with that stuff. How many apples do you give it? I give it... On the Rosen scale. Yeah, I'm going to give it... Neil Rosen. I'm going to give it two and a half. Ooh, damn.

Like a chomped in apple. Are the apples wormy or are they maintained pure apples? Good call, good call. I'll say one's wormy and one is non-organic. Oh, interesting. We're talking Granny Smith, Macintosh.

Yeah, I'm going to go with Granny Smith because this leaves a little bit of a tart kind of taste in my mouth. Did you have a point to make, Ben? The mealy apple is a Macintosh. It's a mealy apple. And then the half-eaten one, let's say, is a Pink Lady. A Pink lady? Those are really good. They're from Australia.

Ben, what was your point you wanted to make? Oh yeah, as a bald man Ed Harris is looking real fine. I think I'm going to go for an Ed Harris kind of look. You should go for an Ed Harris look. He's still got that hay-colored hair. He's got the horseshoe, but it's

hay-colored. I did got the horseshoe, but it's hay colored. I did have that thought watching this where like, did Ed Harris ever have a full head of hair on film or did he pretty much hit already? I don't think I ever remember that. And I was watching this and I was like, he would actually look bad with hair. I think he's one of the few.

His head is so perfectly shaped. And I think his face would look small if he had hair. Yeah, he does have a tiny little lemon face. He's got a tiny little lemon face. Lemon face Harris. What had Harris done before this? What was the direct lead up into this movie for him? Earlier.

Well, I was about to give you some Harris. Okay, yeah. I was going to get... So he's... So Master Antonio's on a roll. Bean is Cameron's guy. You know, so he's in some stuff and then I feel he's in like Knight Riders and like weird shit in the early 80s.

Then he's in The Right Stuff, which he's fantastic. Oh, right. That's 83. Okay. As John Glenn. Yeah. And then he's in- He's fantastic in that movie, which is notably a big flop, but he's phenomenal in it.

Big flop, but he didn't get an Oscar nomination, did he? But he really deserved it. I think Sam Shepard gets the honor. Sam Shepard's the only one who got the nomination. But you know, whatever. Yeah. Then he's in Swing Shift. He's in get an Oscar nomination, did he? But he really deserved it. I think Sam Shepard gets the honor. Sam Shepard's the only one who got the nomination. But, you know, whatever. Yeah. Then he's in Swing Shift. He's in Places in the Heart.

That's like a big role with Sally Field. Yeah. And she wins an Oscar. He's kind of not... He's kind of just coming up. But this is... I mean, this is a big step. He's in that movie, that Alex Cox movie, Walker.

Oh, right. Which is a cult hit, but certainly not a big... And he's in Jackknife with Bobby D. He's like the second lead in that, the sort of Vietnam, the angry Vietnam vet movie. But this was definitely

a big step to make him the lead of a sci-fi temple. Like that was an unconventional choice. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. That is that... Was he in Glenn Gary? I think that's the year after.

He is in it. But I think that's the year after. Right? Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross is 92. Oh no, he's not the boss. Kevin Space that's the year after he is in it. But I think that's the year after. Right? Glengarry Glen Ross is 92. Oh, no. He's not the boss. Kevin Spacey's the boss he gets pissed on. He's the hothead.

He's the Ed Harris type in Glengarry Glen Ross. Yeah. Now, after this, he's in State of Grace. Then he's in Glengarry Glen Ross. He's in The Firm. But I feel like it's 90. He gets fucking four Academy Award nominations. Hidalgo.

Well, that's a lot later. Yeah. Hidalgo. Josh was just doing the math in his head to double check that he was correct. Bone Tomahawk Hidalgo well that's a lot later Hidalgo Josh was just doing the math in his head to double check that he was correct Bone Tomahawk Hidalgo I don't even know if he was in Bone Tomahawk Apollo 13 is when he I feel like is just cemented as like

I want to refine his hair so good in that movie have you seen the first 12 Apollos no it was a sequel to that that's his first nomination right

that is his I think his first Oscar nomination he's nominated for that Truman show The Hours right

and I feel like there's another one I think there's a fourth one but I'm forgetting what it is did you say Pollock oh he's nominated best actor for Pollock

for sure that's right yes he's nominated for best actor Apollo 13 set in space so you know how they do that with franchises friend Pollock? Oh, he's nominated best actor for Pollock. That's right. He's nominated for best actor. Apollo 13 is set in space. You know how they do that with franchises? They eventually put them in space.

The 13th one, they finally go to space. It was Apollo 1 teen, Apollo pre-teen, Apollo pan teen. Cool. I gotta see these. Apollo trustees. How many points? Out of the loop. He's never won an Oscar, which is a crying shame. He should have won for Apollo 13.

It's interesting that he had a good run of stuff in the 80s, right? Yeah. And he's done good work since then, but he has four nominations all within 1991 to 2000. 2003 is his last one, or 2002. 95 to 2002 are his four nominations. He never won. He never won.

So it's less than 10 years he gets four nominations. Sure. He could get another one if you... I think if they do an Apollo Ovaltine, I think he might actually... I think that's the one. I think Apollo Ovaltine. He's just...

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I think that's supposed to be real fun. He's settled into a bit of a boring groove. Yeah. He's great in Snowpiercer. Sure. And he's really good in Westworld,

which is out right now. But it's all these sort of, I don't know, reserved kind of old guys who are haunted and they only have a couple big scenes. I don't know. Controllers, all that shit.

Yeah, let's put Ed in a corner, shoot him out in two days, and have the least amount of yelling, I think is how they look at it. I do think he's one of those guys. That's what they do with these older guys. Oh, yeah. That's what they do. I worked with John Hurd.

That's what you do with John Hurd now, not that he's anywhere close to Harris. But you put old grumpy dudes in a corner and shoot them out. Yeah, you just get them out, shoot them out. You put them in one location. Ah, do I get to wear a cool wig? I do think there's something where, like, he's one of those Ah, do I get to wear a cool wig? I do think there's something where he's one of those guys, and it's happened to a lot of character actors like that, where they'll get

a stack up of a bunch of Oscar nominations in a short period of time. Never happens again, right? They never get the eventual win, and the nominations stop happening. And I think he is so consistent that we really do kind of take him for granted. You look at something like Snowpiercer and it's like

well that's Ed Harris. Of course Ed Harris is great. He's doing the thing he does well. He's good. He's a good actor. But if that was like a performance from a guy you hadn't seen before you'd be like who the fuck is this guy? Yeah. That's for sure. That's for sure. Or if it was even coming from like an actor you hadn't seen do that before.

But I think like he's never really given a bad performance. No. And even when he does he does a lot of paycheck stuff. You know he'll be the heavy in a lot of shit. You know. He'll be a heavy.

He's happy to do. Like Run All Night the Liam Neeson movie. He's like fucking great in. You know but it's just like well they showed up they paid

him five million dollars he did his work they shot him out. He's in pain and gain. I barely even remember him. He's like really good in all these movies

but he does a lot of movies that aren't as good as he is. You know. And he does good work in them. He should like really good in all these movies, but he does a lot of movies that aren't as good as he is, you know? Yeah, he does. And he does good work in them. He should direct another movie. Pollock is good.

Yeah, he did a Beethoven movie, I think, that barely got released, and he like went on a whole public tirade about like United artists had fucked him over on the movie. Oh yeah, copying Beethoven. Yeah. But he didn't direct that. Oh, he didn't?

No. I think he directed one other movie after Pollock. Am I wrong about that? The Postman Always Rings Twice. No, that's the Nicholson one. He did Postman Always Rings Thrice. That's the one that he did. Because I thought he also did The Postman Always Things Mice.

And I know it doesn't make sense, but I know he tried to get off the ground. Yes, it was sort of more of a non-narrative, impressionistic version of it. He did direct another movie. Okay. He directed... Appaloosa? Appaloosa. That's what you were thinking. How many apples do you think that got? Appaloosa? Appaloosa was probably like three out of four. That's like an

open range, you know. I just want to say that has Vigo in it as well. Right. Who I feel like he loves. I think they are both sort of like irascible, like give it all, hyper-masculine. Now I have to look up Hidalgo because I don't know where that came from. I think he's in Hidalgo.

I think you're right about that. Viggo Mortensen is. Is the lead. I think Harris is a supporting antagonist in that. J.K. Simmons. Omar Sharif is in that. I think it's just similar because Viggo's in it and it's a Western.

Oh, Hidalgo? Are you talking about Hidalgo right now? Is that Harrison Hidalgo? Oh, I don't know if he is in it I think it's just similar because Vigo's in it and it's a western oh Hidalgo are you talking about Hidalgo right now is that Harrison Hidalgo oh I don't know if he's in it no he's not fuck but he saw it

he did see it but he's in Appaloosa with Vigo that's why Hidalgo was Vigo's big star movie after Lord of the Rings right

it kind of you know did okay didn't really but it's like a hundred million dollars of John Silver that no one saw

big fucking crazy movie anyway can I just say something before we get off the subject of Hepalusa? Sure. I get bummed out when I see movies that are that transparently just begging for apples from Neil Rosen. You know what I'm saying? Like if you're fucking modifying your title just to get a good apple score, that's a little sad.

Indeed. So The Abyss came out in 1989 he was the voice in gravity alright sir well that's like a little Apollo 13 joke but the film's not successful it does I think 90 million worldwide on a 70 million dollar budget

it was released in the middle of the summer they thought it was going to be a big blockbuster and it opened at number 2 it was released in August which is the later end of the summer so maybe they had some inkling like okay we shouldn't put this up against the biggest players blockbuster and it opened at number two. It was released in August, which is the later end of the summer. So maybe they had some inkling like, okay, we shouldn't put this up against the biggest players.

But I'll say August is also historically, Augie Doggie is when you release kind of your more serious-minded adult blockbuster. I suppose, back in the day. You're sophisticated, you're sort of, you're green grasses. You've tipped your hat three times. You've tipped your imaginary hat three times. You release a Bour Born in October. Certainly. I mean, he made Aliens

like, yeah, he's making a big sci-fi movie again. Like, of course they thought it was going to be. I mean, yes, the actors are not. But Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio was pretty big. Yes. Physically. No, she's a pretty slight one. I want to work with Ed Harris now.

My heart is not big enough for my body. Mary, can you... Mary, action. Hi, how are you? She just completely changes. She's Ant-Man. But the heart just doesn't change shape. Uh-oh, my heart just doesn't change shape.

She's the opposite of the granddad. I do think, you know... The other thing with the Augusta is, like, this movie is very much a movie for grownups. Like, this is not a movie a kid would ever want to watch. It's not R-rated. Right. But it should be.

It's what divorced dads took their daughters to in 1989. This is a movie about getting divorced. Hey, Amy, you want to go see a vice? I'll get you a cherry soda. It's a real dad movie too. It's a total fucking dad. It's like John Cusack in Grace. That guy loved Abyss.

Does anyone know what I'm talking about? That character in that widely seen film. John Cusack in Grace loved the Abyss. That's the only divorced father character. Divorced by death. Divorced by death. Divorced by death. The greatest divorce of all. Coming to CW11.

Cause for divorce, Grim Reaper. Just Patrick Warburton shrugging. She was divorced from this mortal plane. Patrick Warburton plays the Grim Reaper. With a Sith, just shrugging. I don't know. We're going so deep up our asses on this one. It's fine.

Like the Abyss, we're doing a deep dive. I just think, yeah, this is a movie that is very... I think it's interesting that James Cameron only gets broader after this film. This is his most mature, serious-minded movie. It's very long. It's very obsessed with process. It's about characters who cannot express their own emotions it is it's also like angry at like the state of the world

yes but in a sort of undirected way that's not yeah like doesn't it doesn't clearly really express it except for very like basic we should all not nuke each other sort of I guess. Which you know I agree with. Sure. Yeah. Good point Jim. I guess so. Yeah. Agreed. Good job. The first hour of this movie is the really haunted hour where like it has that whole long sequence where they're exploring the crashed sub and there's

all the corpses floating around. It's just so grim. This movie just has this pallor over it where you can see how Fox was like okay this is a big blockbuster but this is an adult play. This isn't like a family have fun at the summer blockbuster sort of multiplex kind of movie. This is like we're going to engage the minds of sort of turned on grownups. On action, a crab will crawl out of your mouth underwater, actor number three. Right, right.

You know, that's what it is. And it takes a long time for sort of of the big flashy like popcorn visuals to happen. And even when they do, they're sad. Like it's a sad. But it was a better payoff than Contact. Like at least you got a glowing butterfly alien out of it, not David Morse. Like I think, you know, at least there was a little bit more. I agree.

And they typed to each other, which was a thing. And the effects on David Morse were really bad. They hadn't perfected David Morse yet, so he didn't quite look photorealistic. Right, right, right, right, right. They hadn't perfected David Morse yet so he didn't quite look photorealistic. Right, right, right. They didn't quite Simone David Morse yet. Because there are a couple scenes where it's clearly

like a stop motion puppet and then there's animatronic. In fact, this is a clip from the original screen test for For Contact with David Morse. Hi, Jodie Foster. Hi, Jodie Foster.

Hi, Jodie Foster. Okay, we have to shut it off. They couldn't get him to learn a character's name. That was the biggest problem was he kept on referring to the actors. Well, the facial recognition was I have to call her by her real name. Because he had seen the accused.

Of course he knew who Jodie Foster was. He'd already seen Nell and he had to call her a real name. I ducked out and I don't know what's happening. Identified Jodie Foster, actress. I like Contact. And we're back. I dug that clip up for you guys. Thank you.

Thank you. No problem. I like Contact too. I like both of I dug that clip up for you guys. Thank you. Thank you very much. You like Contact. I like Contact too. I like both of these movies. I think they're very similar. I saw Arrival the same day that I saw this movie, which is excellent. Arrival's good. But it's very similar to this movie in theme, not in presentation.

That's Dennis Villeneuve. Dennis Villeneuve. I like that guy. I love him. I didn't see his pictures. I like the enemy, but I heard about this guy. Oh, you would love enemy,uve. I like that guy. I love him. I didn't see Enemy, but I heard about this guy. Oh, you would love Enemy, Josh. I like that guy, and I think this movie is me thinking,

all right, he's got the goods. Before then, I'd always been like, oh, I like your style. Arrivals are satisfying. It's satisfying. It's very sad. That's what I like to hear. I like my sci-fi. Because they sacrifice a goat to a hand or whatever

sure to a hand alien there's a thing this and Contact are very similar movies in that they were like directors coming off a huge like mainstream four quadrant successes doing like serious minded time to do my talkie

this is my like serious technical sci-fi movie. Even when aliens come into both films, it's not very fantastical. I mean, The Abyss gets there in the last 10 minutes. And I guess Contact does at the beach, but other than that, it's kind of real world, hard

sci-fi sort of stuff. Philosophical talkie. Serious minded actors, that kind of thing. And this is honestly barely a sci-fi movie. Because the sci-fi part of it is like well there's some aliens right and they don't really

oh they must have to live underwater like on their planet are you guys privy to this longer cut where the aliens were more malevolent and controlling the waves

and were gonna flood us all I didn't even put that together that's this cut that's on this DVD that's the cut that I watched yeah I didn't even put that together I guess I just never saw that version.

The extended cut, which is like half an hour longer, also includes, at the beginning, a lot more talk about the Soviets. Right, the end of the world. Yeah, just to sort of set that up. That was all cut out of the shorter. He only had final cut on this movie if it was two hours and 15 minutes long. That's why. Anyway.

Jesus. Yeah. But I do think, like, you look at this in Contact, and both films were, like, very hyped up, kind of met with, like, yeah, it's pretty good from the critics, didn't really do that well financially, certainly made no Oscar imprint,

and then both, I think, have kind of gained steam over time. And I think the difference between this and Contact is Contact is a little glossier in a way that I think hurts its serious-minded ambitions. But, yes. This movie's very steeped in just sort of this pallor of, like, workaday, fucking sad, sad. Yeah, well, he likes roughnecks.

He likes, you know... Blue collar. He likes the guys who are... Drillers. But I'd say this is the roughest he's gone. I mean, I think it's kind of like... Yeah. You compare this to Avatar, certainly, you know,

which is his next, like, roughnecks movie, and that's when you're going, like, really, really broad with it and this he's really steeped in like it just fucking sucks for them like all these guys look shitty and they smell bad and they're sad the ensemble's good one of them has a pet fucking rat

you sad get so worried about the rat but I'd also say this is like weirdly kind of his least emotional movie like it's so bottled I don't know about that this is like weirdly kind of his least emotional movie. Like it's so bottled. I don't know about that. This is a pretty emotional movie at the end.

I think it pops at the very end. The resuscitation was the only thing. I mean, I was actually, I saw it on a plane recently because I thought, why not? It's the length of time to get to Los Angeles. I love a long movie on a plane for that very reason. You know what? I'm going to watch this whole movie and then we're almost going to be landing. And also type. I once watched Avatar twice on a plane to London for that very reason.

I was like, two Avatars is going to get me to London, and it did. I took a trip. I flew to Australia once. Oh, my God. Which is crazy. I did it when I was like- That's like nine Avatars. It was like nine Avatars.

Yeah, it was a bunch of Avatars. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah. And they didn't even have Avatars at the time, so they were saying that, and the measurement of time made no sense um i went i my one of my best friends from middle school moved to australia and i i went to australia and stayed with his family for like a couple weeks which is really fun but um flew to australia by myself i was in coach with the rest of coach had been bought out by like a school trip it was like like a college. Oh God. So I was like literally in the middle seat in the middle aisle in the middle of coach

surrounded by like 20 somethings and I was like 13 or 14 and they were all like high fiving each other and doing whatever. And they like played like, you know, eight movies or whatever over the course of the flight. And I remember that it was just like I would sleep during different parts of the flight and whenever I would wake up, the movie I had wanted to be awake for had just ended. And then like the shitty movie would start. And twice I woke up and they were playing League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

They played it twice on one flight. What a nightmare. They were like, your in-flight movies are going to be Runaway Jury, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, G. Lee, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. It was the only one that was repeated. But they just screened League of Extraordinary Gentlemen two It was the only one that was repeated. But they just screened League of Extraordinary Gentlemen two times within eight hours. God. Yeah. I've never seen that movie. From New York

to Orlando, you can watch three episodes of House Hunters. The Garden Network. Is that with ads or not? Is that like a 22 minute or a half hour? Oh, yeah, with ads. Okay, so you could probably fit four in if you're watching on like an iTunes and you have a 22 minute cut.

That is true. I use the provided TVs on JetBlue, but if you've got it, if you've got access. You've got to flaunt it. Is that what you would say, Ben? Absolutely. I say that all the time. Also, Curb Appeal's a good show. From here to Dubai is 91 high maintenance web videos.

Yeah, you can watch the entire web series three times. You can watch all of College Humor originals to get to Philippines. How many originals do you think? Because now they list them on IMDb as if it was a TV show, like every short you guys ever did. Oh, my dick. Oh, God. Is it like 900? You've got as many credits as Ed Harris.

Yeah, you have as many credits as Ed Harris. Yeah, you have as many credits as Ed Harris just from doing that many College Humor Originals. Like 2,000. But you know, it's sectioned like a TV show. Right, the show is called

College Humor Originals. 2,000 episodes. Right. That's the thing because I have like three episodes of College Humor Originals which makes it seem like I just did like three videos.

You play George R. R. Martin a lot. I do. Yeah. And I don't even sound, I basically- It credits you as mostly George R. R. Martin. But the George R. R. Martin I do on College Humor, to get on a tangent, is basically Charles Durning. I think we could use a tangent. It's been a little while.

Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's your Charles Durning impression. I think it's, I've just realized, I didn't even look up. Give us a little. I didn't even look up George R. R. Martin. It was like, you know, he talks like this. And I also don't know anything about Game of Thrones. I don't know any of the names.

Yeah, that's better. Targaryen, and the dragons, so he talks like this. He talks about this. But you could very easily say, get a job, Sister Dabasky. Get a job, sir. That's a very good Durning. What makes him mean? And I had never heard anyone do a Durning before.

Maybe I should do that for my Snatch Tap. A hundred percent. I was looking for a new one. All the people that know Durning, and I had never heard anyone do a Durning before. Maybe I should do that for my Snatch Tap. A hundred percent. I was looking for a new one. All the people that know Durning. Follow it with a Richard Griffiths, who's also fat and died, but not British. Let's do all the great dead fat guys. Ace Ventura. Oh my goodness, Ace.

Oh my goodness, the history boys. He always would lead in the title of a movie with, oh my goodness. Yeah, he was a pro. Oh my goodness, Ace. Oh my goodness, the history boys. He always would lead in the title of a movie with, oh my goodness. Yeah, he was a pro. Oh my goodness, Ace Ventura 2. Have you ever seen that TV show? I ask you because I know you lived in England. There was like a TV show. By the way, we're talking about The Abyss, 1989.

Do you ever see that TV show? James Cameron. Do you ever see that TV show that was like Richard Griffiths is a detective who starts a meat pie shop. No I have not seen this TV show. But then they come to him and they're like dude no one's as good as you. And he's like look I'll do one more case but I want to make the meat pie. And he's licking

his fingers for six minutes. It's called Pie in the Sky. No it's not. He runs a meat pie shop. Half of each episode's about meat pie shit. I remember seeing the trailers for it on some like BBC DVD. I had maybe like a mighty bush DVD or something. This was happening when I just moved to England. This is a mid nineties show.

I do never heard of this, but there's, there's this heard of Rosemary in time. And I even saw Rosemary in time in which, uh, there was about two Gardner women who are in their sixties who also solved murders. Rosemary in time.

That's a great title. I'm gonna misquote this, but it's a moment whenever I first saw this trailer on DVD, I rewound it and watched it like six times in a row. And it's something I found so funny, I've never been able to bond with anyone else over this. 40 episodes of

High in the Sky. Do you know what these are called? By the way, just to give you, this is an actual term for the genre. There's lots of these kinds of? By the way, just to give you, this is an actual term for the genre. There's lots of these kinds of shows in Britain. How good is that poster too? They're called Cozy Mysteries. Cozy Mysteries? They are. No. It's basically, it's like, mystery shows where like, don't worry, there's not gonna be

any funny business. There's no sex stuff here. Oh my god. So I'm gonna misquote this, but there's a part where they ask him at the end of this DVD trailer they play. And the song they play, the theme song is so funny. It's this jaunty jazz kind of thing. But they go like, what is it that draws you back to mysteries? And he's like, well, I just love when all the elements come together

in one moment where it all makes perfect sense. And his chef from the background goes like, like cooking. And he goes what? Yes. Yes, exactly. Like he's realizing for the first time that his two passions are one and the same. You'd think that I'm showing you two posters.

But this is the same fucking There's literally a poster within the poster, I guess. Well, because it's the poster for his meat shop. Yeah. His meat pie shop. Oh, my God.

This feels like a good time to announce that our next miniseries is going to be going through every episode of Pie in the Sky. Yeah, we're not going to do that. Yeah. So, in 1989, James Cameron made The Abyss. So, The Abyss is a movie. Yeah. It's about an abyss in the sea.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. There's a submarine. It crashes. It's a submarine. At the beginning of the movie, Crazy Submarine Crash. One of the main guys who keeps on going like, sir, it's getting closer, whatever, looked so much like Michael B. Jordan that it kept on throwing me off.

Interesting. He looks like identical to Michael B. Jordan. I don't think I picked up on that. I looked up. I think his name's like Michael Beach or something. Oh, it's Michael Beach? Is it Michael? That's a real actor.

He's a real actor? I'm going to look it up now. Michael Beach is a great actor. I didn't look up his other credits. I'm sure I've seen him in other stuff. He looks totally different in this movie than he looks today, but looks identical to Michael B. Jordan, has the same Michael B. Jordan mustache. Really?

Like the shape of their face. It's also, he's mostly shot- Michael Beach is in this movie. It's Michael Beach. Wow. He's mostly shot in profile, so I don't know if it's just like at that age, at that time, at that weight, with that hair and mustache. From that angle, he looks like Michael B. Jordan,

but it kept throwing me off. And I believe his line was something effective. Captain, I'm chronicling some activity. And he looked at camera and winked for six seconds. He said, hey, this leak certainly isn't fantastic for us. All right, that was good. He was like, I'm back. I'm number 45 now.

Oh, I get it. I get it. Regardless of your creed, everyone can work here. He was in ER, Michael Beach. He was in ER. He was the guy who gives

Nurse Boulay HIV, then comes back, gives her hepatitis. He's a real jerk. He was an ER. He was the guy who gives Nurse Boulay HIV, then comes back, gives her hepatitis. He's a real jerk. He was her husband. He was on Third Watch for many years, if you remember Third Watch. And he's recently in Pitch. He's the dad.

Oh, how is Pitch? Eh, a little pitchy. It's fine, it's fine. 12 comedy points. It's no Hitch. It's no Hitch. It's no Hitch. And what is?

But I did I paused the movie and went to IMDB to be like was Michael B. Jordan's dad an actor Michael B. Jordan might have been

a zygote when this movie was made that's what I'm saying I thought like I must be looking at his father because of splitting image holy shit

talked about that enough so he's freaked out by what he's seeing on the radar here right and they're going crazy and they're like man the hatches and it very quickly

becomes this thing where it's like they know they're doomed oh yeah they're done and they're just trying to sort of make it as painless i don't understand why the aliens took out that submarine i don't either and did they ever explain that no no they do not because it just has an encounter we have an encounter and then they're all dead. Yeah.

And they're all dead. And then, you know, Ed types to the butterfly in the end. Right. Yeah, I didn't even really think about that. Yeah, it's a lot. It's just the inciting incident. Look. It's the inciting incident.

Maybe, whatever. It reacts with hostility because it doesn't know what's going on. I don't know. Sure. We don't have to think about this, I guess. The movie doesn't want us to think about it. Right. That's Michael Beach's job to think about it. Anyway about it anyway they fail cut to now here's the big ship

chris elliott's on it throwing out some spice in the place where you live they weirdly play the get a life theme song they do um and then uh yeah they sort of go like okay this is trapped at the bottom mary elizabeth master antonio everyone's like, oh boy, this one. Yeah, they basically are like, she shows up and they're like, oh god, what a bitch! Like, they just start like, oh, she's the worst! Call her a bitch a bunch. Yeah, I was gonna say, you're not really paraphrasing.

They directly call her a bitch a bunch of times. And while we're susciting her, he says he calls her a bitch. He's like, fight you, bitch! Her nickname is like, the bitch. Like, they He's like, fight you, bitch. Yeah. Her nickname is The Bitch. Yeah. They don't really think too hard about it. Nope.

Now, James Cameron has a type of female lead in his movies, I would say. Mary Elizabeth Master Antonio is a little Sigourney Weaver-y, a little Linda Hamilton. Nothing good, nothing better than cheap bony brunette. He likes to write these women who are whatever. They can play in a man's world or you know like it's a little old-fashioned i would say these days but i guess in the 80s it's still like kind of unique i guess but here's but he's he's laying it on way too thick way too thick and now of course knowing me and my history i'm gonna want to view every element of this movie

through the divorce angle right but i do think his female protagonist is usually a sort of like hard-headed strong-minded stubborn woman who is ultimately correct you know which is exactly what you're saying heard is believe exactly and katherine bagel there exactly exactly but in this movie she's kind of everyone's like you don't need to you know everyone's kind of like okay take it down a notch right and it doesn't feel like she ultimately proves them wrong right i feel like the movie ultimately is like yeah she need to take it down a notch like this feels so much so that she should drown herself right this feels like the one movie where like he makes the woman like his female lead get kind of soft at the end and it's like there's a's a, there's a little bit of like the Jurassic world thing in this movie.

What's the Jurassic world thing where it's like, Oh, she's the business woman. She's a careerist and everyone's like, not, not to an extreme degree, but more so than all his other female protagonists. No,

my problem with this movie is like when she arrives, they set her up as like, Oh, this is the one everyone hates. Yeah. No one likes her. Right. And then she shows up and everyone

works with her fine. She sort of integrates with the crew. I guess she's mean to Michael Bean, but Michael Bean's a problem. But then she has a monologue about her five brothers and why she's always at a fight for everything. To me, it's too obvious or something. I don't know. The divorce

shit is interesting. No doubt. I just think this was the one time where he was feeling weird. Animosity. You know? Yeah. I mean, we've always theorized that because it's all about strong mother figures for him, that clearly his mother was important in his life. He doesn't really talk about that.

This is not that. This feels like he's not making a movie about his mother. He's making a movie about his wife that he's divorced. Especially, again, the movies around this one are both about mothers. Like, Aliens and Terminator 2, those are mother characters. This is not. This is a wife character. Some of the deleted dialogue includes, you're a bitch, Gale.

Gale Ann. You're a bitch, Gale Ann Hurd, my wife. And then they cut out the David Morse robot entirely because he couldn't stop saying that. but entirely because he couldn't stop saying that. Let's not forget that he saves the aliens from... He saves the planet by typing love you wife on his little typey, his little speaking spell. Right, yeah. These aliens are Nintendo power glove.

The aliens are just so touched by the fact that, yeah, he's power glove. Imagine what they'd do if they saw a sext, you know? They called off the waves just for love you wife. They saw a sext. These guys might give us a fucking. I mean, they would have saved so many humanity. Saved us so fucking hard.

They would have given us a whole other planet. Saved us like two or three times. Okay. So Ed Harris is like, has like an oil rig. He's like the foreman of like an experimental deep sea drilling rig or whatever. It's kind of like. Ben Thicke Petroleum. There's still a facebook page okay all right he's kind of like uh this is kind of like armageddon but realistic yeah it's like it is what how does it actually work is like well we need a royal rig so we're going to commandeer you guys and you guys know what to do rather than like

yeah let's put you guys in space and train you to be astronauts because that's easier than like, yeah, let's put you guys in space and train you to be astronauts. Because that's easier than like teaching someone a point to drill at the ground and turn it on. Or like, yeah. It is very interesting that like, I kept on comparing this to Aliens and Avatar. Because these three movies are very similar, right? They're the sort of grunts on a mission. Yes, they all have the grunty. And they're also like two different forces coming up against each other. That's very true.

But you can also put it in the in the piranha to yeah this titanic axis control it's it's what it really is the nexus of like all the different crosses with our hands right now yeah other than the mother thing it like covers all the main cameron elements um but what's interesting is there's a thing he does a lot in aliens and avatar where it's like first hour of the movie is really just hard setup you know not exposition but let's lay down the character pieces let's lay down sort of the story points to pay off later and that's sort of alternating with getting to understand the technology of the world you have all those scenes in Aliens and Avatar before they really like disembark and get into it where it's like here we are in the hangar you're seeing everyone operating all the stuff in the background you're understanding all of this now

through just sort of like exposure therapy. So at the end of the movie, it all pays off. And he does that here, except all the technology is real. Like, it's fascinating that he's got these real things. Like, he clearly just fell so in love with deep-sea diving. It's like, well, this shit's better than any shit I could make up for a movie. Right.

And it is amazing when you just look at the fucking, like, the little pods and everything, and the suits look insane in this movie, and you have to imagine that none of them were, like, designed. They feel like they're just the real thing. Everything in this movie was made for this movie. Really? Yeah, but I mean, obviously.

But I think based off of, yes. Absolutely. I mean, they had to make them because they couldn't use, the actual thing cost $100 million. They had to put an LED in the face mask. Well, also, like, well, no, but even the face mask. You can only make these things in so many ways. They have to be weird, boxy creations. You can't make a sleek

underwater thing and then actually have it underwater and bashing into another underwater thing. With nipples, yes. Some of them did have nipples. They had a lot of nipples. They're very utilitarian, all the shit in this movie. It looks cool but it's just real. And I think even if they made all this stuff,

they're not fantastical designs. He's not plussing the technology at the time. No, he's not at all. It's just happening right now. Yeah, and it is cool. You're watching the process of how they do it. It is cool. And even just the woman with the cowboy hat.

Oh, she's cool. You see her mining casually. It's like, this is a cool world these people live in. Lisa, one night standing. That's her name. That's a good character. But I was talking to Benny about how fucking long this movie is. Producer Ben?

Yeah. The Ben Doos? Big old Benny. We don't have to do that again. Big dick Benny. So this movie is 170 minutes long in the director's cut. And I was just saying, if you just said the plot of the movie, it wouldn't sound like it's long.

No. Because it's just like, they go under the water, they find some aliens, bad guy tries to do something, they stop him, and then they meet the aliens. Like it doesn't, it's not complicated. You could say the same thing about Avatar.

And it is this thing, I think starting at aliens, James Cameron becomes a five-act structure guy. Sure. And not only is he a five-act structure, He's like Shakespeare.

But he's doing five acts at the full length of what a three-act movie would be. You know? Like, some people do five-act structures. And you just squeeze it in. Yeah, because, like, Rushmore is like a five-act movie, but it's like an hour 40. You know?

They're like short acts. That's a movie a lot like Rushmore. The movie's very similar to Rushmore. I thought it was weird that he put, like, the velvet sort of curtain intertitles in between each scene. I thought that was whimsical. I thought that was index card title. Yeah, it was whimsical. Right, the above,

like perfectly aligned. I loved it when Ed Harris... And Bill Murray reaching back and hitting his kid in the little submarine. Very odd. And Ed Harris made the OR scrubs joke.

That was funny. He landed it. That joke is so good. That's such a good joke. And the girl from Ronin. Your favorite movie, right? That's your number one. My absolute favorite.

Yeah, number one all the time. When Stellan Sarsgaard captures the soda that falls off the table. Holy shit. That's a great movie. My absolute favorite. Yeah, number one all the time. When Stellan Sarsgaard captures the soda that falls off the table. Holy shit. That's a great movie. And De Niro driving fast. Let's do a Frankenheimer.

Yeah, sure, let's do it. We'll do them all. Ooh, good call. Frankenheimer. A lot of split diopter.

This is a five act movie and he really likes like- This is a five act episode. This is a five act episode. This is going to be a short one. Remember? Standing. I think the key is anytime we say we're going to do a short one and it ends up being long,

we need to start saying we're going to do a long one. Maybe we'll get out of here in like 25 minutes. Right. That'd be good. He does these five-act movies. So A, he's telling a lot of story and he has these different sort of beats. But B, he also just likes fucking immersing you in a world. He does.

Like Aliens has all that shit too where you're just like, there's no real character dialogue. The aliens don't show up for an hour. In Aliens, the aliens shit too where you're just like there's no real character dialogue you're just watching them load up and try out the shit you know in Aliens the aliens don't show up for an hour Terminator 2 in Terminator 2

the four main characters don't collide for an hour or 45 minutes but in The Abyss that whole sequence that I was talking about earlier where they're exploring the sub

and they're finding the dead bodies and they're looking at the nuke like missile silos and all that shit you know yeah like you don't need it to be quite as long as you do it's not informative for the plot we already know the subs down there like but he it's good it it's it to me my favorite part of the movie and it is sort of like you know there are a lot of things that james cameron does that no one else does right i mean because people he's he's an obvious punching bag there are a lot of things you can easily sort of slam him for, right?

And we're obviously Cameron defenders, but there's the thing of, like, he goes so broad, the dialogue's clunky, his stories are so elemental, he ribs so much from, like, other shit. But it is, like, I mean, that's the fucking Avatar thing. Like, the whole thing is he's somehow able to actually just, like, kind of place you into these worlds. Okay. And just through, like, the fucking minutia of the day-to-day i'm with you but we gotta move on jesus christ i was trying to do what he's doing in the movies by doing that i'm gonna kill you stand please keep doing that the place that you live it's the end of the world it is the end of the world as we know it in this

movie 100 uh so they go down. We gotta hire the people. Oh fuck, it's my ex-husband. He's got the ugliest fucking wedding ring I have ever seen. But useful. Very useful for stopping a pneumatic door closing on your hand. It's like a nut.

A giant screw nut. It looks like a testicle. Oh no, a screw nut. Yeah, that makes more sense. His blue arm, though, influenced Avatar. That is true. The toilet hand. That's when James Cameron first had the idea for Avatar. I forgot about that. It's a great scene. His eyes rolled in the back of his head,

and he saw everything, kind of like when the food critic... For context. In Ratatouille. He tosses... She comes onto the thing she points out hey you're still wearing our wedding ring and he's like yeah well we're not

officially divorced and he like tosses it into the toilet and then he's like ah fuck it he puts his hand back into the like weird blue liquid

that like Amtrak toilet liquid you know and then pulls it out and he's got a blue hand just for context people are not gonna see this movie

people are gonna watch it oh yeah it's hard to watch that's the problem. That's the thing. All of that, they get together. Oh, we're going to go down. We're going to look at the submarine. Everyone's dead. It's really fucking unnerving. It's creepy. And some weird shit starts happening. Is the military with them at that point?

They are. They're commandeering. And then there's that big disaster. It all goes wrong. What the fuck is it again? It's like the thing crashes down on top of them. The thing crashes down on top of them. The crane crashes down on top of them. Yes. And Michael Biehn, who is... Michael Biehn's playing Coffee, Hiram Coffee.

He's sort of the guy, the military sort of point man who's overseeing the thing. And he has a mustache. He has a real mustache. He has a mustache. Can I say this, too? Anytime he was in a wide shot, especially because because as pre-established, I was looking for character actors who became big later in the margins of this movie. I was like, there have to be

people. He looks a lot like Joe Pantoliano with the mustache in this movie. Really? In wide shots, I kept on thinking. His hair is receding. He is wearing a beret. He's wearing a beret, and I kept on thinking we were wearing a pair of pants. We weren't. We weren't. That's the thing. I kept on thinking we were. I looked down at the pants list. We were eating some beans. We were eating some beans wearing a pair of pants. And, well, you know, we weren't. We weren't. That's the thing. I kept on thinking we were.

I looked down at the pants list. We were eating some beans. We were eating some beans. Yeah, I don't know. All right. Yeah, so, no, but he's a dick. He's a piece of shit. And I feel like it's good because it's like the last two Cameron movies, he's the hero.

He's a nice guy. He's the sweet boy. We also have established, too, that one of the crew members has a mean right hook. Yeah. Yep. The hammer. The hammer. We've also established that one of the crew members has a mean right hook. Yeah. Yep. The hammer. The hammer. We've also established that one of the crew members has a nice-

Oh, I was going to say a nice rat. And also, Michael Biehn, they foreshadow a lot. He's there when they're talking about sort of this madness that can happen. Yeah, you go underwater, you can go crazy. It's like space dementia. The pressure gets to you and all the signs, you know. Sure. Yeah.

I don't know. This is basically a space movie. Yes. I mean, like, right? It's just underwater. It's upside down space. The other thing I want to, I'll get to that. No, I'll get to that later.

It does feel like that was his pitch. I have a point to make. To Fox was like, oh, space aliens. Yeah. In water. Yeah. What if I did water aliens? No, it's a good pitch.

Right. And The Abyss, great title. No one ever had that before. Great title. And it feels more grounded because it's like, any sci-fi thing where you have to go up already is like straining like, well, we haven't been able to do this and find any life. Sure. To go down feels like, oh, that's possible.

Less wire rigging. It's great. And the title has two S's. That's two money signs. Yeah. That's true. That's how he did the pitch. That's how he did the pitch for Aliens.

Yeah. And then he wrote Alien, then put the S, and then turned the S into a money sign. If you rearrange the letters, Sabzy. I don't know why, but... Sabzy. Sabzy, though. Well, no, because one of the studio executives was Sabzy. Everyone knew him as Sabzy.

Sabzy Films. And he was like, I'm almost done, I'm almost done, but one more thing. The great Sabzy Films. Richard Evans' ex-husband. So, yeah, he loved making movies. So, they flood making movies. So they flood the rig. There's an accident they flood the rig so people die. Michael

Bean doesn't seem to care. Hammer is caught behind a door and they get him out of there but he's in a coma. Everyone's bummed out. Then Mary Elizabeth Mastro Antoni is just hanging out outside the sub. She's just chilling on top. And like a pink jellyfish like sort of swirls around her. Looks gorgeous. Looks cool.

And she's like, guess what, guys? There's aliens underwater. And everyone's like, shit, you're right. Fuck you, bitch. They're pretty much on board. She's getting some of that. She's getting a little bit of that. She's getting a little bit. Ed Harris is like, get the fuck out of here.

But it's when the tendril shows up, I guess. That happens like 40 minutes later. She like says, they're like, what are you getting at? There's like a 10-minute scene where she's like, it was weird. And they were like're like what are you getting at there's like a 10 minute scene where she's like it was weird and they were like so what are you saying and she's like I just I haven't seen anything like that before and they're like out with it out with it and she's like don't think it's from

this world and she's like okay keep going and they eventually get to this netty thing where it's like non terrestrial intelligence oh hey guys I was wondering did James Cameron invent drones no I don't think so what do you mean because they're water drones Astral intelligence. Oh, hey, guys. I was wondering, did James Cameron invent drones? No.

I don't think so. What do you mean? Because they're water drones. They are water drones. Oh, I mean. I'm going to kill all of you. They are water drones. I don't know. Yeah.

Are you from Philadelphia? Why are you saying water? Ben said it. I was copying Ben. Ben had a touch of the Philly there. I say it like that. You say it like that. And I don't.

I'm fine. I say it like that. Well, New Jersey that. And I don't, I'm fine. I say it like that. Well, New Jersey and Philly are kissing cousins. Uh, sure. You guys kiss, right? New Jersey and Philly? No, fuck Philly. Okay, well.

Uh, they, she tells them about the Netties. They don't totally believe it. And then this water. But then this alien tendril comes up. But look, when the tendril comes, there's still an hour and a half left in the movie. We're at the halfway point of the film. If that. We're not even.

And it's, it was the first like real CGI effect in a movie. And the big thing is it looks like Mary Elizabeth, Master Antonio, and then at Harris. Like it's not super detailed because it's water. Right, it's a water snake that sort of like goes up, it's like a column of water, but then it turns into their faces. Which is exactly what CGI was capable of doing at that time.

Right, like mimicry. Terminator 2, it's like, oh, you can do a liquid guy. You can't do fine detail. I mean, it's why when Pixar was coming up with their first movie, they were like, toys, everything's going to look plastic. Alex Mack, you're a puddle. Exactly. CGI puddles. But she wears a hat. She does. Alex Mack wears a hat. Puddle hat. A beret.

Puddle hat, though. Sometimes. But that was CGI at the time. It was a puddle industry. I mean, people were all about CGI puddles. And Cameron was really at the forefront of It was a puddle industry. I mean, people were all about CGI puddles. And Cameron was really at the forefront of that. Tendril comes in, looks fucking cool, wins him the Oscar immediately. Like for that one scene. The wins the visual effects Oscar.

The point I want to make, and I'm stealing this from Peter Labusa, my buddy Peter Labusa, you know him. Not personally, I'm a big fan of his work. He said that this is Cameron, the closest Cameron's coming to making a Spielberg movie. This does sometimes feel like it. Lots of big reaction shots. This stirring, in my opinion, completely terrible score by Alan Silvestri. I like the score. I hate the score. But I'm a Silvestri fan.

I like Silvestri and other stuff. He just doesn't match the movie at all. Alan's one of the people who said he'd never work with him again after this. This is the problem. Warner does this great score for Aliens, hates working with James Cameron, says I'll never work with him again after this well this is the problem horner makes this does this great score for aliens hates working with james cameron says i'll never work with you again eventually gets coaxed back for titanic yeah when james cameron calls him and says i want to go back to titanic you know it's a great scene right and it's in the movie um but but horner'd be fucking perfect for this like you want you need a more haunting score this score is like jaunty

yeah like at times it's like oh oh, la, la, la. You're under the water in the bleak darkness. At the end it gets way too jaunty. Yeah. I will say I read also that when they went back like four years later

and did the special edition, Alan Silvestri refused to do score. Yeah, they had to do a new guy do some scoring. It's a new guy did the other 30 minutes. Wow. I like Silvestri.

I like him a lot. He's got some great scores. How bad could that have been? Like Cameron in the room going like, you're wrong. I mean, just disagreeing with his flourishes. I don't know. I mean, it's so bad.

How could you be angry at your composer? Yeah, it's very odd. Silvestri, for my money, the only guy who has done good Marvel scores. I think the only two good Marvel movie scores are the ones he did. I don't know why they didn't keep using him. I think too expensive. They use cheap composers who will just reuse themes. Yeah.

And I disagree with you though. I think, I think there are a couple other good Marvel scores. We can talk about that. I think it's Captain America, the first Avenger and Avengers are the two that have distinctive themes. I, the themes are good in those movies.

His themes are really good. His themes are good. The scores are fine. I think Henry Jackman's score for Winter Soldier is great. I think it's okay. No, it's really good. And there's, I think there's another one I kind of like, but there's Winter Soldier is great. I think it's okay. No, it's really good. I think there's another one I kind of like, but there's a lot of

bad scoring in Marvel movies. Guardians is okay. Tyler Bates, it's okay. Anyway. Stand in the place. Michael Stipe's score on Thor The Last World was fantastic. Really good. Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was just him singing.

Ragnarok in the Ragnarok. I'm sorry, I don't think I can do it. You quit halfway through. It's good. It's great. Yeah, it was just him singing. Ragnarok in the Ragnarok. I'm sorry, I don't think I can do it. He quit halfway through. I quit. The one track and they just weirdly kept it and looped it throughout the entire. The whole movie loud. Really loud. They have to shout over it.

That's the other thing. They were playing it on set. They didn't even just add it in post. They were playing it on set. No, in every scene, Forrest had a boombox on his shoulder playing it on set. They didn't even just add it in post. They were playing it on set. No, in every scene, Thor has to have a boombox on his shoulder playing that fucking loop. Taika Waititi insists. The debattery budget on Thor The Dark World was completely out of control. Loki is taking over.

Hemdale on the Rainbow Bridge. All right. Okay. That one matched pretty well. Idris Elba. Thatdale on the Rainbow Bridge. Alright. Okay. That one matched pretty well. Idris Elba Arne. That hit the meter though. Hemdale on the Rainbow Bridge. Hemdale on the Rainbow Bridge. I hate you. You. I love you Josh. I'm your best friend. I know.

We're good. We're the two friends. We are the two friends. We're great. We're great. Are we supposed to make it through to the end of the describing? Come on describing Come on guys That'll take two hours The military come, the tendril comes up There's a storm Do we see the storm

You sound like a concerned grandmother She drowns It's like I'm calling you on a Saturday And you're like I saw this movie The Abyss Look The hot ones in it, Ed. Oh, yeah. Grandma's love Ed Harris.

Oh, they love a side of Ed. Because he's like the world's youngest old man. Oh, he is. How old is Ed Harris when this movie's made? In this movie? 70. My guess is 33. No! My guess is 33 and I think he looks 54. No, he's 38. He was born in 1950. Oh, 54. No, he's 38. He was born in 1950.

Oh, wow. So he's 38. Okay, okay. So he looks basically age appropriate. He looks okay. So shit starts to go wrong. Michael Biehn goes crazy. He starts carving lines into his arm.

Yeah. Kind of out of nowhere. Yeah. But that's pretty cool, that scene. Yeah, it's cool. And he has a really good chunk of performance in here. He does. It's a fun little part where he basically decides the alien tendril wants to take the nuke.

I don't know. Yeah. So they have a tactical nuke that they took from the sub. Someone made a really good point that Coffee actually thought what he was doing was good, and that's kind of what made it fun, but I don't care. Yeah, you don't side with him because he's so crazy. I mean, if he didn't fucking cut his arm, he'd have a gun the whole time.

The movie has this red scare thing going on where they assume it's the Russians and then they realize it's the aliens. His kind of logic is, well, they're Russian signs too. And this is important to the point Cameron's going to hit us over the head with later. It's like, we can't just assume everyone's our enemy. We can't just fire nukes at anything we don't like.

Love trumps hate. Love trumps hate. Oh, and there is the thing earlier where he decides to go down He decides to go down to get the warhead from the submarine, and in doing so endangers the entire crew. He does, right.

Leads to the death. That's the thing. That's the thing that triggers the crane collapse or whatever. It's all, yeah. This is the one Cameron movie where sometimes you don't really totally know what's going on. Even though he's still good at the spatial geography stuff, you know, once in a while you're like, wait, what? You know, who's this?

Where is this happening? The whole time I was watching this and I liked the movie, I was like, I can't wait to watch this two more times over the next eight years. Yeah, right. Like, I think with like four years in between each viewing, I'll really- I get it. The rig's on the seabed. Right.

But then there's the trench. Yeah. So he puts the fucking nuke on a little drone, a sea drone. Uh-huh. And it's going to go down and blow up the aliens, I guess. Toad McGuire, sea drone. Yeah, exactly. Sea drone's good.

The jet bridges. Well, it sure is fast. Oh, exactly. C-Drone's kid. With Jeff Bridges. Well, it sure is fast. Oh, that was good. I know. That's one of his best. Did you see Hell or High, Walter? No! Oh, you'll love it.

He's so good at it. Is it like No Country, but he's in it? Yeah, it's like a funny No Country for Old Men with Jeff Bridges is the most hilarious racist you'll ever meet. He's the funnier version of the Tommy Lee Jones cop, who's just like, you know, Tommy Lee Jones is just sad and is like, I don't understand these people. I had a dream. Yeah.

Yeah. That's what it's like. It really is like that. It's, you got to see it. Let's all go see it right now. There was an N word in it, like that. It's like that. Yeah.

He's mostly hitting on Mexicans, though, because it's Texas. I got it. He's got a Mexican Native American partner. Correct. And he slams the guy. And he's just fucking ripping into the guy the whole movie. And, you know whole movie and you know maybe

whatever I mean the guy is good so it's great I don't know it sounds like I just said

there's this movie where he's a racist and it's great but he's a good movie it's a fucking laugh riot it earns everything it does I think you like it Griff?

I liked it a lot I liked it a lot I really liked that movie anyway we were talking about this alright when does he type the alien well so okay

so then I just want to say there's that big fight where they're both in the like boxy submarines right that's what I was gonna say so Bean then

and they're kind of like crashing into each other Bean's doing the arm cutting and he's got the warhead and he's like I'm gonna bring it down blow up the aliens yeah

and that's when they're like fuck stop this there's like an 8 minute like fisticuff sprawl in the water that's pretty good before that where they're like, fuck, stop this. There's like an eight minute like fisticuff sprawl in the water before that. Where they're like swimming up in the moon pool and like whacking him from behind.

It's a well-staged, dramatic fist fight, but it also feels very incongruous in the movie up until the end. After the hammer knocks him out, he comes back

and then he gets in the thing and goes, well, that's the fight scene where that all happens. Yeah, because the hammer wakes up from the coma and fucking clocks him and he goes like down. He's been gone for like fucking an hour and ten minutes.

Yeah, fucking an hour and ten minutes. He's been fucking for an hour and ten minutes in coma state. And then, and then. And then. And then. Right. So that's the Fist of Cups brawl. Then fucking Hammer.

And then they get into their pods and it's sort of like a race to the bottom of the ocean to see if he can stop them from blowing up the aliens. They succeed in doing that in that they stop Michael Biehn, but then he goes to the bottom. But that seems pretty cool when Michael Biehn implodes, basically. That was great. When he's in the sub and it's just going down and the glass cracks. God, soda can. Yeah, that's very cool. But now it's like they just, you know, they drop their keys

like through the slats of a porch and they're like, oh fuck, we gotta go down and get that bomb. Yeah, we gotta get that fucking bomb now. It's on like a little, it's like teetering on like a cliff. Right. So then it becomes this weird pink water. Let's put Ed Harris. No, no, no, you're missing. Which part am I missing? Because again, the movie's so fucking long.

You're missing the whole scene where Ed and Mary are in that in the other submarine that's from the leak. And she has to drown. Like she has to force herself to drown so that they can leave. She calculates that her blood will freeze and so she won't die. And if he can get her back to dry land within 10 minutes. They can like revive her. That scene is tough to watch. It's really well done.

And it's, you know, I have always said... And he's so good. Yeah, that is the hands down part of the movie. It is. No, she's fantastic. Because she does the steely sort of, this is the right thing to do. You have to trust me. But at the same time, she's like, this is so cold. I'm so scared.

And she realizes she might not wake up. The death panic kicks and she nails it. Well that's the thing she can't you can't actually make yourself drown. Right. Like yeah and they nail that.

Your innate like survival instinct is going to override that. Oh God. I've always said that and this was the one Cameron movie I hadn't seen but that the most

sort of viscerally effective moment he had ever put on screen was when there's the moment that's like this in Titanic. I'm fucking forgetting where it's placed now, where they're trying to stay just above the water and the gates.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah, of course. Of course I know that scene. Yeah. It's the same kind of thing. Yeah. The end of Titanic. It's when they hit the iceberg.

But he just has such a sense of water and everything and the tension of like drowning and that fear is so visceral. But this is where he's really learning it. And I almost think this scene is more effective. Well, it's an incredible scene. It detects a better mood, but this scene's incredible. But Titanic has a lot of these types of scenes. This is the scene for the abyss.

Apparently when they were going in to shoot it that day, James Cameron was like, huh, so how do I do this without killing them? They had to think for a while because he was like, I don't know. I think he was kind of like, oh yeah, the water will be warm. Turn it all the way down and bring it in fast. Don't cut.

No matter what. I think he was like, if Harris starts bleeding, don't cut. He drags her back to then she's freezing. There's like a 10 minute CPR scene. He's screaming at her. He rips her shirt open. They're shocking her. They're backing her chest. They're slapping her face, calling her a bitch. Not to be an elegant. It's screaming at her. He rips her shirt open. They're shocking her. They're backing her chest. They're slapping her face, calling her a bitch. Not to be inelegant.

It's a fucking lot. Not to be inelegant. Slapping them titties. I guess so. Yeah. I guess so. Electrifying them titties. Jesus. And that's the scene where she freaked out and was like, I'm not shooting this anymore. But when does he type? Well, then he types. Look, he's gonna

almost immediately, she wakes up and he's like, all right, give me the pink thing. I'm going to go down with the pink thing. Give me a typey thing. Can I throw out a question quickly? Typey pinky. That's right. I've got to go get the bomb.

Is them trying to resuscitate the drowned, shirtless, Mary Elizabeth Mestre Antonov seen the least sexual nude death in history? Pretty much. Ben, what did you call him? She's bone white. I called them trauma titties. Yeah, she has those trauma titties. Thank you.

We could get think piece to death. Stan. Great, thank you. Lock the gates. Lock the gates. Yeah, come on. Go lock the gates. Can you hold on one second here?

I just want to take a sip of this blank check that co-op here let me I'm sorry what were you going to say

lock the gates no but what was the next thing you were going to say about the movie oh you know Ed Harris pow

sorry you can't control it sometimes when you shit your pants absolutely yeah okay so that's what Ed Harris oh by the way't control it Sometimes when you Shit your pants Absolutely Yeah okay So that's what Ed Harris Oh by the way also

James Cameron told All the actors They had to just pee In their wetsuits If they had to pee Oh cool Must have been a Fun smelling set

Cause it was just Gonna take too long To get him out of the water Pussy actors I just love the idea Of someone bringing Their kids to like set To be like

You wanna see daddy work It's like why does it Smell like Ed Harris' urine? Why did Ed clock James in the face after a take where his resuscitator didn't work? Why is everyone crying? All right. Mom, what's a breakdown?

So we've been introduced to this shit earlier. It's real, this liquid that you can breathe. It's only been ever used on animals. Oxygenated fluorocarbon. Boom. When Josh came in today, he said, so! When are we going to talk about oxygenated fluorocarbons? Oxygenated fluorocarbons. Now, and the

movie's science logic is like, hey, we breathe liquid. First nine months of our life. When we're in utero, which is not true. We do not breathe. Right. But our lungs are full of liquid. Yes, but we're not breathing per se. No. They're saying, hey, you know, it takes a little while to adapt, but once you do... That seems pretty great.

It takes a panicked while to adapt. That fucking step scene is... Ed Harris kills that. It really feels like they are drowning him in pink water. This chunk of the movie is when the movie really has some momentum, and it's giving you these really fascinating set pieces. Which is great, because the set pieces just like, they drown him in this pink water, and then they're just like, okay, you're just going to go straight down.

And let's mention, this is... We're just tying bricks to you, you're just going to go straight down. And let's mention this is- We're just like tying bricks to you. So you just go all the way down to the bottom of the ocean. Within the real time of the movie, this is happening half an hour after he punched his wife into life. And they basically said they love each other.

Right. Like they're back together. Like one person just drowned themselves on purpose and almost didn't make it back. And then he's like, okay, cool. I'm going to do that thing now too. Let's, I mean, let's admit like maybe that's his thing like

it's like the movie is that nightmare right? Right. And James Cameron's like right and at the end of it me and Gale are gonna figure it all out right? Like it'll work out. Yeah. But it feels forced cause as we know that wasn't what happened. No he shows up with Linda H. Video Village was definitely

quiet. Yeah. It was a quiet Video Village. So then he goes down. Any notes? Yeah. Fuck you. Guys, stand. And he goes down to the bottom of the ocean.

Yeah. Turns off the nuke. Cuts a wire. Well, texts a lot. They put a lot of weights on there. Like, you're going down, baby. Tap, tap. He's doing a reverse Jefferson's. Yeah, he's not getting a piece of the pie. He's moving on down. Well, text a lot. They put a lot of weights on there. Like, you're going down, baby. Tap, tap. He's doing a reverse Jefferson's.

Yeah, he's not getting a piece of the pie. He's moving on down. He's moving on down. He's moving on down and not getting a piece of the pie. Someone else is eating it. Not only is he not getting it, they're giving it to someone else. Chris Elliott is eating it up in the Mission Control. I am eating Ed's pie.

And it's in the shape of Ed Harris' face. There are a lot of weird choices in the director's cut of the movie. A lot of weird ones. You have Chris Elliott. Do we really need to add the pie scene? And Cameron's like, it's essential. You have Chris Elliott singing revised lyrics to the theme song to a sitcom that hadn't premiered yet.

Eating a piece of pie in the shape of his co-star. It's a good movie, though. I insist. I'm sorry. I want to take that back. Stand had come out. The song had been released. No, but the song is released eight months before The Abyss. Chris has had this song in his head until 1994

when he got the show. That's why I think that was his idea for the show. He had R.E.M.'s great album, Green, on his Walkman. In between takes, he's listening to stand he's like i got a great idea for an opening if only i could write the rest of a show around it i see myself standing and waving while this song plays and he worked backwards from there um they put a bunch of weights on him they send him a reverse jefferson style down and he's got this little

text thing and he's in the pink bubble n Nintendo Power Glove. He tells his wife he loves her. Yeah. By the way, I do not believe that he could text that legibly on that fucking tiny thing with like a glove hand. Come on. Huge glove hand. It's a big glove hand. I like the typos they put in. They should have done more. But it is, I'll admit, it's very cool that like just the whole idea.

You know, the idea that they're just watching like this slow typing. Yeah, that was cool. That he wrings tension from that it's very cool and I love that even just the introductory thing where they're putting the goo in his helmet and he's getting used to that and they're like okay test out the texting thing and he's like this feels weird

you should try it and then she goes I just did it is this thing though I felt this again watching this and it's like through to avatars when it changes. When there's still fucking low res video screens, Cameron mines this weird tension out of like beautiful like 35 millimeter film cutting to some scratchy screen. Whether it's text that's pixelated or like security footage. It just makes me long for the days where where you could cut to someone watching a video and

the video quality was lower than the quality of the film you're watching rather than the exact same quality. We've talked about this before, but it's a real stick and point. How do you feel about the quality of the aliens' surf wall that they throw up when they change the channels and stuff? That's fine because it's magical. I know. So he meets the alien.

He's going to die. The first HD television was the alien circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, you can buy it. He turns it off. He's got the bricks on. He's going to die.

He's going to pull a Tommy Lee Jones in Space Cowboys. He thinks he's going to die because he's running out of fluorocarbonated oxygen. He is. He's only got five minutes left. And they're like,

yeah, you can make it. He can't make it. And he decides he's going to pull up Bruce Willis in Armageddon. No, Tommy Lee Jones in Space Cowboys. Josh, you have to come up with the third one. You have time, but just think about it. So he is texting with her and is

like, I knew this was a one-way ticket. Love you, wife. Love you, wife. Yeah. Which, I mean, it's so inelegant that it's kind of beautiful. No, I like it. It works. It's like that Flanders and that Simpsons episode when the comet's gonna come. Scott Speedman and the Strangers. No, I can't.

Does he make it in that one? I can't even remember. Oh, baby. He does not. He does not. And not only does he make it, he kills his friend with a shotgun before. Oh, that's right. It's Glenn Howarden. It's Glenn Howarden, right? From It's Always Sunny. That's who it is yeah it is right yeah that

was season two yeah yeah that was a good one I like that movie it is it is Glenn Howard I couldn't remember if it was Glenn Howard in the other one need to see what that director's been up to as

he's texting her and then oh my god who shows up wouldn't you believe it it's these motherfucking netties those netties these netties as as Josh put it they're little pink butterfly aliens kind of shows up, wouldn't you believe it, it's these motherfucking Netties. Those Netties. These Netties. As Josh put it, they're little pink butterfly aliens. They kind of look like the Independence Day inside aliens.

They're sort of sitting in a little chair, and they got little arms. Typing things to do in Denver when you're there. Little T-Rexes. Of course, they're working very hard, but they haven't sold it yet. First, they run that by Ed. So that's why the movie's pretty long.

And he's like, it's not bad. He's another passer too. he's another mr sh maybe i don't know fogarty they show him this is the movie is sucks this sucks this this chunk the movie it it feels like it's we've referenced this before but it feels a little bit like the mulaney poster writing joke it does where it's like oh fuck i got a lot of work to do and we're already clocking in at like 2.40. Like we gotta, you know. Like I like that the film

keeps the sci-fi stuff on the peripheral for so long, but like he wants to end it with some sort of kind of answer. Yeah. Some sort of definitiveness. Right. And in order to do that

he has to make a lot of leaps really quickly. Let's put him in a curvy room and teach him a lesson about the Cold War. In the original cut of the movie, that's not in it. And it's really just,

they show him, it's the end where they show him the message he wrote to his wife. And they understand, that's why they rescued him and then they take him back up. Yeah. But then in the special edition,

there's all this shit where it's like, yeah, they show him the Cold War. All this footage of horrors and then they like threaten all the coastal cities in America with tidal waves how do they communicate threatening

is it video? yes they show a video that's the wave in like no it's happening and then they call it off all these waves are about to crash and then they freeze somehow you see the waves like frozen it's like it's like 10 different simultaneous like day after tomorrow

like super tsunamis that you're seeing people reacting to. How is the effect for 1989? Really good. But it also is. He put $350,000 just into that one thing. Most of the money they gave him to finish off the movie. But those effects are not in the original edition. Right.

That's what ILM fits. Of the half a million dollars they gave him to do the special edition, most of that went towards just the waves. Oh, yeah. It was just the waves. Right. Because they did do it for the special edition, most of that went towards just the waves. Oh, yeah, it was just the waves, right. Because they did do it for the original edition, but he didn't like what it looked like. They had some plastic wavy thing. I don't know. It didn't work.

He said they mostly cut it. A bunch of saran wrap. Because the actors were like, why would you cut the wave thing? The wave thing was cool. And he was like, I didn't cut it for story reasons. I cut it because it looked so bad. I felt like it kind of torpedoed the movie. Yeah.

The wave shit looks really good, actually. The wave shit looks really good actually. The wave shit looks good in this edition. And they like show it happening and then it like stops. And they take it away. And he's like why and then love you why. So they were impressed by his selflessness. A couple of black eyed blinks understanding alien blinks and then before you know it there's. I just want

to say. I think they were just impressed with the fact that he was able to type that well in those gloves. It's good typing. But no come on. These aliens, they lecture us about like using weapons against each other to threaten each other. Then they fucking make waves to attack us. Literally. They're dicks. Literally make it. I mean, it's Mother Nature. I guess.

Less litter. And then there's the weird thing where he starts messaging back to everyone on the ship. He's like, what's up? Got a surprise for you. Yeah, and then he starts like reciting. And Chris Elliott starts like crying because he knows he's going to be mad on the ship. He's like, what's up? Got a surprise for you. Yeah. And then he starts like Chris Elliott starts like crying because he knows he's going to be mad about the pie. Yeah. Yeah.

He's like halfway through the pie. We found out behind the scenes was really just imitating the actress from Close Encounters. Of course. There's another Millie Dillon moment. Yes. Yes. But it starts messaging them all these things we haven't heard the aliens say. Where he said, like, he says he doesn't understand why we fight so much.

Right. They respect us. They've been down here for years. They never had to interfere before. Now we know what they're capable of. They don't want to do it. Like, it's like this whole long monologue when the aliens are just kind of communicating through blinks and video clips through him, you know?

And then he's like, just a suggestion. That isn't what we meant at all. That isn't what we meant. But there's that thing that like, they say that they want us to learn to be more peaceful. Just a suggestion. And then Mary Elizabeth Mastrantono laughs really hard. This all happens within like eight minutes of screen time. Like it's so rushed.

It's very rushed. And then they bring him back up to the surface. And the score is like basically jerking us off. It's just like, ah, it's so nice. Yeah, and's very rushed. And then they bring him back up to the surface. And the score is like basically jerking us off. It's just like, ah, it's so nice. Yeah, and then that's the end of the movie. It literally ends right there on the water. Yeah, it's a Little Mermaid style ending, you know. They're on the surface. Didn't their veiny purple penis?

Oh, it comes up. Yes, 100%. And it's like much bigger than everything? Yeah. Yeah, it's all around them. It's huge. They bring him up to the surface, and then they also, while they bring him up,

they're like, oh, we'll take your submarine too. They just take everything up to the surface. And did they fly into the air in the end, or did they sink? I think they go back down. They go down. They don't cocoon. No, they don't cocoon.

Better score than this movie. They don't super aid, but they do. That's a horner joint. Cocoon is such a good score. Horner joint. Yeah. Cocoon is such a good score that people think that movie's better than it is.

Yeah, the movie's not good. That movie's like a five, and that score's like a 10, so people think it's a 7. Yeah. That movie's like a 5 at best. Don Amici's a 9. I don't even think he's the best of the old guys in the movie. He was great in Folks, though. Great in Folks.

Tom Selleck's Folks. I do not know what that is. He's great in Homeward Bound. So, box office game. Look it up. We do a game on this that just shows how much of a broken mind I have and how misplaced my priorities are in life. I try to guess the box office of the weekend.

Folks! With an exclamation point. Yeah, so I'm doing the box office game because we always do it, but also good weekend. Gotta say. There's some good ones in here. 1989, let's point out, year of my birth. That is true. When were you born?

Wow. February. Okay, so you're a few months old. Did your dad see this one? Your mom? some good ones in here. 1989, let's point out, year of my birth. That is true. When were you born? Wow. February. Okay, so you're a few months old. Did your dad see this one? I saw this in theater. Oh, yeah? No, I don't think my parents saw this. I don't think my parents saw this.

The movie opened to $9 million, number two at the box office. It finishes with 54. Not good. Not great on a $70 million budget. It's 40 overseas. Yeah, it's 90 total. Not good. Not good.

His one and only flop. It's 40 overseas. It's 90 total. Not good. Not good. His one and only flop. It's his one and only flop. By Hollywood standards though, it's like you can still work again. You didn't just... It wasn't a disaster. No, but I mean, yeah. Certainly he's looking to rebound. He didn't lady in the water but he abyssed in the water. He abyssed in the water. He lady in the abyss.

And look, he had Terminator go back to him. He was lucky. He had a film everyone was demanding. It was the 24th highest grossing film of the year. That's a lot. Below Pet Sematary. Yeah. Basby Phillips was quoted as saying, thank God. And Harlem Nights.

Below a bunch of flops. Okay, okay, okay. So let's go through this. Number one is, it was number one the week before. It has made $30 million. It's a winning comedy. A winning comedy? It's pretty winning.

What do you say? It's a winsome comedy? Very winsome. Very winsome. Is it supernatural? No. It's very natural. It's not Ghostbusters 2.

There's a conversation about masturbation in it. Oh, because Ghostbusters 2 is 1989. It is. Is that in the top 10? It's number 15. Okay.

It's been around for a while. It's made $100 million. A winning comedy in 1989. I'm going to ask the other question I need to ask because I know it's the number one movie of that year and the summer. It had already been in theaters for a couple months at that point, but I assume it's still hanging in there.

Is Batman anywhere in the top 10? Batman's number seven. It's made $222 million. Okay. Number one is a winning comedy. Winning comedy. It was Oscar nominated. Arthur? Nope. Interesting. Fish Called Wanda? Nope.

Did it spawn a sequel? It spawned a TV show. Arthur. Still not Arthur. Fish Called Wanda. Put it this way. An Oscar nominated actor is in it, but he's using a different name. It's back when he had a different name.

The director? The actor. He's an Oscar nominated. Later to be, he'll later be Oscar nominated. Is this when Walter Matthau was still Albert Einstein? He was calling himself Sting, actually. No, no, no, no, no. It's not Larry Fishburne. No, not Larry.

I'm trying to think of other actors. A Larry Fishburne called Wanda. Oh, that's what it is. It's a Larry Fishburne called Wanda. You guys guessed it. Okay, spawned a TV show, and the cast didn't return for the TV show, right? No. The lead actor in the film changed his name later.

He's a supporting actor in this film. Oh. This wasn't when Michael Keaton was Michael Douglas. No. When you say name change, was it like a Dwayne the Rock Johnson type thing? The first name changed entirely. It wasn't like a Bob to Robert.

His first name, he was born with one name, he changed it to another name and he changed it back to his first name. I think I may be, this is like a real piece but it's true. 19 and 9 comedy, live action TV show or animated? Live action. I'm pretty stumped on this. I'm so confused.

I'll give you more obvious hints. What was the final total? What was the final box office total? 100 million domestic. Wow, a lot of people saw this 1989 comedy wherein the lead actor, blank, blank, changed his name and changed it back again. He's not the lead, he's the supporting actor. Nominated for two Oscars,

Best Supporting Actress and Best Original Song. Best Supporting Actress? Best Original Song in 1989. Okay, so Harlem Nights is that year. That's the ending for our feed. It's not Harlem Nights. I know, but I'm trying to reverse engineer. I'm trying to think of...

You're not going to reverse engineer anything from Harlem Nights. Dan Aykroyd is not in this film. No. But you're close. Does it feature any SNL cast members? Bill Murray. No. It features an SNL...

He's never officially a cast member. Steve Martin. Steve Martin. It's the jerk. He's never officially a cast member. Steve Martin. Steve Martin. It's the jerk. It's not the jerk. It is Steve Martin. Oh, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. Oh, my God.

1989. Come on, guys. They're supporting an actress nomination. Steve Martin's in it? Not my blue heaven. This is crazy, you guys. I'm like the biggest nominee. And there's a TV show based on it.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. There you go. There you go. We were thinking too comedic. It's Parenthood. Parenthood, my friends. 100 mil domestic in 1989 with Joaquin, then called Leaf, Phoenix. And Diane Wiest gets Best Supporting Actress.

She does. And the song, the best original song that is nominated for an Oscar, I'm looking it up. It's called. Parenthood. I love to see you smile. And I love to see you guys try to guess that movie. That was a tricky one. That is a tricky one. You gave us good hints.

I did. I gave you good hints. That was the leafy. Everybody was having kids back then. A lot of kids in that one. That is crazy. You got Holsey. Tom Holsey. You got Keanu Reeves. You got Plimpton. Could you imagine any scenario today. Plimpton. In which. God damn it. In which like a sci-fi

like blockbuster tentpole movie opened number two behind the second weekend of like a winsome family dramedy. Yeah right. Like that was such a blockbuster. That was a big movie. It was weird how big that movie was. Okay. So that's number one. Number two is The Abyss. Number three is the fifth sequel in a long-running franchise.

No, although that is that year. Star Trek V is that year. Right, which is The Undiscovered Country. No, Final Fantasy. Voyager. Fuck. Okay. Fifth film, long-running franchise.

Is it a horror franchise? Yes. Is it Nightmare on Elm Street? It is. The Dream Child? Boom. Thank you. I know this franchise well. Tell me who directed it. Oh, fuck. It's not Steve Miner, is. The Dream Child? Boom. Thank you. I know this franchise well.

Tell me who directed it. Oh, fuck. It's not Steve Miner, is it? Oh, my God. I got Rennie Harlan. No. Rennie Harlan directed three, I think. He did three or four.

Wait, wait. Did you say The Dream Master? This is The Dream Child. The Dream Warriors is three. That's the best one. That's Rennie Harlan. You mean the best one that's not the original. Right.

Wait, did he do Rennie Harlan? It's Dream Warriors. Rennie Harlan. You mean the best one that's not the original. Right. Wait, did he do Rennie Harlan? It's Dream Warriors. Rennie Harlan did Dream Master. Yeah, Chuck Russell does Dream Warriors. The superhero one. Oh, right. Rennie Harlan does Dream Master. And then Dream Child.

Stephen Hopkins does Dream Child. Also, I think did Predator 2. Lost in Space, baby! Okay, Lost in Space. And he did Predator 2. He did The Ghost in the Darkness. Yeah. And he directed the entire first season of 24

yeah there are three dream titles in a row It's Nightmare on Elm Street, Freddy's Revenge Dream Warriors Dream Master, Dream Child and then Freddy's Dead and then A New Nightmare okay so that's number three good job Freddy Guffer Kingers, number four is a movie with a dog in it

not Beethoven not Benji. Bingo. Not Beethoven. It was a big hit, made $71 million. With the dog in it, but was the dog the main character? It was the co-lead. This is a two... Oh!

Turner and Hooch? Turner and Hooch, yeah. We were parallel thinking. One of us was going to get it right. It was one or the other. Number five. This was about the same year, I think. I think mine was Belushi. Yeah. Belushi.

Turner Hooch is the better. Turner, yeah. Number five is a landmark, legendary romantic comedy. One of the greats. One of the greats. Still imitated to this day. When Harry Met Sally. It's Nicholson and, oh, good God, of course.

When Harry Met Sally. Harry Met Sally, number five. oh, good God, of course. When Harry Met Sally. Harry Met Sally, number five. Number five. It's been hanging around for five weeks. It's going to clear almost 100 mil. That's an interesting top five.

Isn't it? That's an interesting top five. Isn't it? Especially for August. That's the best part of going through and playing this box office game is you realize, like,

you used to be able to look at a 10 and it was, like, a weird array of different types of movies that were all doing well. And now it's, like, same, same, same, same, same.

Now it's five Marvel movies. Parenthood would be number 12 at the box office. The only opening movies this week are Abyss and Nightmare on Elm Street 5. Parenthood drops 7% from its previous... Well, Parenthood, to be fair, would be a Madea today. Yes. It would be Madea's Parenthood. So, other

movies in the box office... Good Afternoons. Good Afternoon. Good Afternoon. Hell or Ween. Lethal Weapon 2 is in there. You got Batman. You got Honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Wow. You got Stallone's Lockup.

Not one of his better. Ghostbusters 2, as has been said. Ghostbusters 2 is there. You've got a movie called Young Einstein. Oh, yeah. I do not know. With the Aussie kid. Yeah, it was Yahoo Sirius.

Yahoo Sirius. Oh, that's just right. Yahoo Sirius. I only watched the first minute of that film every time it was on, and then it got horrible. Uh-huh, yeah. Yahoo Sirius. The rich man's Rick Mayle. Rick Mayle's a fucking legend, man.

Here he is. All right. Poor man's Rick Mayle. He's a poor man's Rick Mayle. Yeah, I guess so. I dropped it. It's a fun movie. But you guys didn't grow up in Britain, right? Rick Mayle's's a poor man's Rick Mayle Yeah I guess so I dropped it It's a fun movie But you guys didn't grow up in Britain

Rick Mayle's a fucking legend Lord and over us Alright okay Little Lord Sims over here And then way back You got Ghostbusters You got Dead Poets Society You got Indiana Jones

And the Last Crusade What a time You've got License to Kill The Timothy Dalton Bond movie The last Dalton That's pretty gross The last Dalton The one where someone's head explodes

And you've also got Sex, Lies, and Videotape. Whoa, James Spader. Is that Mary Lism... Mary Mastrantono? No, that's Andy McDowell, my friend, big bushy-haired lady, but not M-E-M. And funny enough, they don't look similar, but I always confuse, just name-wise,

Mary Elizabeth Mastrantono and Laura San Giacomo. Sure, but who's also in Sex, Lies, and Videotape? That's what I'm saying. I know, I get that. For me, Andy McDowell Name-wise, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Laura San Giacomo. Sure. Who's also in Sex, Lies, and Married. That's why I'm saying that's the connection. I know. I get that. For me, Annie McDowell.

For the audience. Do you think Mary Mastrantonio, Annabella Sciorra, and whoever you just said just had spaghetti dinner and talked about all the men they've kissed? Yeah. I'm sure they have. All those nice little mouth kisses. Like how many times their arm was grabbed by an Alec Baldwin-like leading man back then. I bet all three of them have had to kiss Ed Harris.

Yeah, absolutely. That was the gauntlet. Whether they wanted to or not. I also want to say this is the number six, no, sorry, number seven entry in Box Office Mojo's Underwater series, which is movies that feature characters submerged underwater, brackets, non-submarine. So Crimson Tide doesn't count, U-571 doesn't count? No, it's like all the ones above it are animated films, like Finding Dory, Finding Nemo, Atlantis Lost Empire, Little Mermaid, Shark Tale, Down Periscope?

Yeah, that's a submarine movie, baby. That has a lot of dick jokes. McKill's Navy, Hunt for the Red October. Those are submarine movies, my friend That's a submarine movie. That has a lot of dick jokes. McKill's Navy, Run for the Red October, Run for the Red October. Those are submarine movies, my friend. I'm talking about underwater movies. The only live action movie

that did better, Deep Blue Sea. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. So, underwater, don't do it, guys. Well, that has been our discussion of The Abyss.

Oh, it was great. James Cameron's The Abyss. Next week, we're back with Terminator 2 with my buddy, Sam Rogow. Yeah. Facing Judgment Day alongside us. We've already recorded it.

I think it's a fun episode. Yeah, it's a good time. It's one of my favorite movies ever. It was great to talk about. Yeah, I mean, I think it's two plus hours of us going, that was cool when that happened. Yeah, but we- It's great.

But it is cool. It is cool. Yeah, but also- But also pretty cool. It is cool. There's a Gatling gun. It's cool. This was cool, too. This was really cool. It is cool. Yeah, but also it is cool. There's a Gatling gun. It's cool. This was cool, too. This was really cool.

Josh, thank you so much for being here. Hey, guys, what a pleasure, honestly. I'm so happy you're moving to L.A., and it's like I want to make sure we got you on before. Oh, shit, you're moving to L.A.? Moving to L.A., first week in November. I'm going to have a tan, a rowing machine, and I'm not going to talk to anyone in New York. Are you going to drink those green drinks? Probably. That's your main plug,

right? Window washing fluid. What airline are you taking? Probably JetBlue. I put both of my cats on it. There's an indie movie in my friend's suggesting or offering that he

truck one of my cats to LA with me because it's one animal per person. So he's like, Hey, I'll fly to New York and fly your cats back with you. So it's like, there's like a bro adventure in there. I think you can definitely get into Sundance screenwriters lab.

$50,000 trucking cats across America, but two guys. Yeah. Lewis Davis, but worse. No, this was a lot of fun, guys. Thank you for letting me sing REM for 16 minutes. Do you want to take us out?

Stand. Wait, we got a couple, just a couple little things to say. Oh, sure. Please, please, please. I just want to finish big. I don't want to blow that load yet. You know, we want a good final stand

before we get to that. Last stand. Yeah. Last man stand, ding. Everyone should listen to your podcast, which is get to that. Last stand. Yeah. Last man standing. Everyone should listen to your podcast, which is phenomenal. Absolutely. The Mindhouse podcast. On the HeadGun Network.

Yes. I did an episode, which really made ripples and waves. It really was. It really did. It was the best. It was the longest episode I've done. Griffin's like a virus. I'm a virus.

I make these podcasts long. And Jamie Lee Curtis' Virus Would be a really good one To talk to Most definitely We should do 10 episodes On Virus We should do 10 episodes

On Virus But listen to The Minehouse Definitely Yeah please check it out And also I think this thing We're shooting now Is gonna be fast tracked

I've been hearing Maybe it'll be online Right around Thanksgiving I guess Are you kidding me That is fast Five editors working on it Yeah

It's called Thanksgiving It's set in Thanksgiving. They want to hit Strike Bowl of the Iron Tide. You don't want it to come out on Valentine's Day. But Chris Elliott and Amy Sedaris

are parents too. They play our mom and dad. That's crazy. Bridie Elliott, Josh Rubin, Sebastian Canelli, Josh Sharp, John Reynolds,

and myself. The Ticks, Griffin Newman, Stranger Things, John Reynolds, The Mindhouse Podcast, Josh Rubin, and Battle of the Sexes' Bridie Elliott are in it.

I think it could be really a fun show. Yeah, also, is this the first pod we have dropping after The Tick got picked up? No, I guess Aliens is dropping, but we recorded that a long time ago. Yeah, this is the first one where I will have done that. Hey, congratulations. The Tick got picked up to series by Amazon. I talk about it more in the next episode that we recorded. Yeah, whatever.

Right. But this actually is, thank you for reminding me, this is the one thing I want to bring up. Got a lot of very nice messages from Blankies, podcast listeners and stuff. Love you, Blankies. Tweeting, congratulating, even I just saw it because I still read all the fucking comments

because I haven't learned yet. On stories about the show getting picked up people being like this is great but what does this mean for Blank Check podcast I've seen a little I want to know yeah that's true you're shooting in New York it's gonna become a solo show just me ranting into the mic don't think Kristen Ritter

stopped doing her podcast because she's shooting Jessica Jones yeah of course I love all things considered or Vincent D'Onofrio he didn't stop doing his podcast because he was shooting Daredevil. Every superhero streaming service actor. Scott Glenn didn't stop his podcast because he's in Daredevil. You're really running through the Daredevil cast. Have you watched Luke Cage yet?

It's good. I haven't. I can't wait. It's really great. I was watching it just this morning. I'm not going to go on at length about this because we're working stuff out and we'll have more news to announce soon. I think we have some exciting stuff

in the pipeline that we'll announce very soon. But I just want you to say, this is a thing that you and I have been aware of, that the show was, you know, there was a chance that it got picked up. And I've been actively rooting against your success and trying to sabotage you at every turn, but it didn't work. It didn't work. The show was too damn good. For lack of trying. Yeah, no, I mean, I paid a lot of people off.

I'm in thousands of dollars of credit card debt, which is really- There's a reason why UTA and CAA are in a war right now. It has everything to do with one of the three people in this room. But the point is, headline is- I was going to say, I set up a lot of dominoes, and now I've got shit all over my hands. Like, you know, I didn't mean to do it, but it happened. Headline is, show is continuing uninterrupted. Of course.

I mean, maybe, maybe, worst case scenario, you might have a week off or something like that. No, no, it'll be fine. We're planning ahead. We've been aware of this. We want the show

to keep going strong. So, you know, you might get a lot of episodes with references to things that happened four months earlier because we're banking them up. Sure. But know that this will not affect

your ability to listen to the podcast on a regular basis. That's all I want to say. Pod's doing fine, guys. More exciting announcements coming soon. We'll talk about the new series and all this other stuff. We got cool stuff planned.

Great. At blankcheckpod on Twitter. At blankcheckpod on Twitter. Josh Rubin, thanks again for being here. We didn't get a burger report from Josh. Oh, Josh, have you ever seen a famous person eat a burger? Oh my God. That's our segment, the burger report.

The ultimate. Not to put you on the spot. You have one. Oh my God. This is the most exciting. Wait a second. I hear something off in the distance. He has to do the theme song now. Oh, it's coming closer. Wait a second. We're losing it. It's all around us.

The burger report. I was on the Upper West Side. I'd all around us. The Burger Report. All right, go ahead. I was on the Upper West Side. I'd lived in the city for several years. I'd not been too starstruck by the amazing people I'd seen. I'd seen a lot of amazing people, worked on a lot of films as an extra, like a background on The Good Shepherd, saw Matt Damon and Michael Gambon and Robert De Niro.

It's a good movie. Background in The Elf. The Elf picture with Will Ferrell. With Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell. Will Ferrell. So good. Same choice.

And Sedaris. Amy, not David. And not the less famous David, but Amy. And was at a restaurant on the Upper West Side. Bill's Bar and Burger? Which one are we talking about? No, not Bill's. It was like the Columbia Grill or whatever.

And I look over and I hear- Not Big Nick No, not Bill's. It was like the Columbia Grill or whatever. And I look over and I hear- Not Big Nick's, not Bill's. It was a summer day. We're sitting outside and I hear, thanks for lunch, Bill. And I look over and William Shatner- Oh my God. Is reaching into his fanny pack. Of course he is.

For a handful of cash to pay for the burger he just ate. Is he paying entirely in coins? Four rolls and quarters, which is not an expensive meal. Dunk. Yeah, that was the most starstruck I'd ever been. It was a summer day. He was wearing shorts, fanny pack, and a button-up. Oh, he sounds fantastic. And I think he clearly treated his agent and his manager to lunch.

To a cheap burger at the Columbia Grill. Yeah, and I was like, I'd seen several stars. That was the most starstruck I'd ever been. I would be very starstruck by it. Josh, that was an incredible story. Thank you for contributing to the Burger Report. Thank you so much for sharing with us. You are the first guest, and you were not prepped for this.

You did not know. You were the first guest to come in with a burger report. It's honestly my pleasure. Yes, that's the segment we do on the show that has nothing to do with anything else we do in the show. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. My pleasure. Stay tuned.

Hey, keep posting on the Reddit because I think we're going to start. Yeah, post on the Reddit, guys. We're going to talk to you guys on the Reddit. We're going to ask you some questions. The Twitter poll thing is a little limiting, so I think we have some things we want to throw out to the fans about what we're going to do next. Yeah, Reddit, subreddit.

It's blankies, backslash R, backslash blankies. R, backslash blankies is our Reddit. Go check that out. We're trying to engage people on that, and we'll sort of throw out some teasers. Some of the miniseries we're talking about doing next. Next week, Terminator 2, Judgment Day, with Sam Rogow.

Thank you very much for listening. And as always, STAND UP! This has been a UCB Comedy Production. Check out our other shows on the UCB comedy podcast network