Blank Check with Griffin & David - The Castle of Cagliostro

Episode Date: August 11, 2019

This week marks the beginning of a new series on the films of director Hayao Miyazaki! Together they present a brief background of Miyazaki, explore the history of Lupin the 3rd franchise, debate what DJ Khaled actually does and more! 

This is a podcast for all mankind. Too big for my pocket anyway. That's nice. I can't do an impression of him. Well, that's going to be a problem for this miniseries. Yes, bad opens. Bad opens. Bad opens, weird box office games.

Get ready. Oh, that's also a good point. Yeah. This is kind of uncharted territory for us. Sure. But these early ones, tough. Tough. Man, what a rip-roaring start.

Hello, everybody. My name's Griffin Newman. David Sims. He's pumping his arms in the air. Now he's like jazzercising. Sure, right.

Hot David 2019. Can't argue with that. Hot David 2019. Jazzercise. It's a blank check with Griffin and David. It's a podcast about filmographies, directors who have massive success early on in their career

and give a series of blank checks, make whatever crazy passion projects they want. Sometimes those checks clear, and sometimes they bounce. Baby. I think that is the fastest I've gotten that out in months. Both the Micro Machines-esque clip in which I delivered it and the shortness of time it took for me to start delivering it. Right, right.

You just wanted to get it out there. I'm all business today. I'm all business today. For new listeners. I'm all business today for, oh, for new listeners and also because I've had diarrhea for four days straight. The fastest time where you got to that. I can't keep it inside me anymore, David. My words, my meals, it's all coming out. Now, you were telling me this is your first day maybe where it's gone a little, it's sort of gone the other way.

I would say right now we're in the midst of Griffin Newman Infinity War, in which my body is at war with itself. So now maybe things have tightened up a bit. Right, right. Recently, someone on the Reddit said that they disliked that in certain episodes I- Talked about your bowel movements, yeah. Not even that. it was in the patreon that i say i'm going to go to the bathroom now so uh uh someone is uh unsubscribing so hard they are literally poking a finger through their phone right now there's an unsubscribed button-shaped hole in their phone. Right, right. And there's sparks flying out the other end.

Classic. Classic. This, of course, as everyone can tell, is a miniseries on the films of Hayao Miyazaki. I don't know why I keep doing this. Hayao Miyazaki, baby! New miniseries! New miniseries! Woo!

What? Okay, okay, okay. That I could do. I'll tell you this. Griffin's a pro. He's been pooping for four days or whatever. He's got the energy. I guess you're also out of your house.

I'm out of my house. I'm also out of my mind. I mean, you can attest I spent the last hour having a nervous breakdown about the state of the entertainment industry I've been yelling at you holding you personally responsible for the dearth of studio comedies

and I'm like there'll be more relax you maniac I'm not on TV I want them in theaters David there's a lot on TV right now look TV is kind of where the money is but you know what things move around well no one should ever make a TV show well that's what you keep saying here's a contradictory fact though no one should ever cancel a tv show yeah for the listeners who like to track when we're recording these this is our first post

public announcement of vinyl being canceled if you're trying to track the timeline vinyl just got canceled they're gonna make a big movie that pulls it all together. I hope so. Deadwood style. Casper's going to be involved. They've been keeping the... First of all, thank you for remembering that my character's name was Casper. You know why he was named Casper, right?

Friendly ghost? Was written to be an albino. I did know that. You did tell me that. Yes. And it came down to me and an albino actor. Oh, dear. And they hired me and I said, I will not play

this character albino. Right, you're not gonna like put weird like contact lenses on me or try and make me look like an albino or whatever.

Also here's like, you know, you're not gonna powder me. Some talented albino actor is like calling his mom and it's like, the character's written to be albino.

No, no, of course. It's down to me and another guy. I guess usually though it's just makeup, right? Like powder. Right. Charlie Hunnam and Cold Mountain. Yes. I can no, of course. It's down to me and another guy. I guess usually though it's just makeup, right? Like powder. Right. Charlie Hunnam in Cold Mountain. I can't think of other examples.

There are other examples. What's his name? Dan Bacadal in The Heat. Paul Blart Malkop. Paul Blart Malkop, a famous albino. No, you know, Paul Bettany in Da Vinci Code, is it? Is it Da Vinci Code that, a famous albino. No, you know, Paul Bettany and... Oh!

Da Vinci Code, is it? Da Vinci Code. Is it Da Vinci Code that he's an albino? It's the code. Yeah. It's the code, my friend. I just said, like, yeah, I feel uncomfortable doing this. Sure.

When there's no reason, I have two lines. And they were like, okay, yeah, forget it. They were like, oh, yeah, thank God. We don't want to go through that work. They were like, we were never going to actually do that. Right. Because it would have required bleaching my hair. My facial hair.

Of which, at the time, I had a mustache and sideburns. They would have had to bleach my eyebrows. You would have looked terrible. My eyelashes. I would have looked the worst. And you remember how bad I already looked at that. You already kind of looked bad. I looked really bad, and then I would have been the worst and you remember how bad i already you already kind of looked bad i looked really bad and then i would have been bleached and also he would have stuck out like

if you're in a scene i would have too much oh right like what the fuck you were by a school you would have been arrested i would have been arrested i would have been arrested because then i would have looked like a a supernatural child molester yeah i would have no you're right i Yeah. I would have. No, you're right. I would have. It would have been so, so bad. But you know what's good?

The castle of Cagliostro? Cagliostro! You did it. Cagliostro. I think this main series is called Howl's Moving Podcastle, right? Because we were talking about this. I like Podcastle in the sky. He's got three castle titles ben and

it feels like why make it more complicated it should be pod castle but the question is is it the pod castle of cagliostro is it howl's moving pod castle solid or is it pod castle in the sky hell yeah i don't know that's tough i'm usually the tiebreaker but i feel like but are we i also see what the fans no no no i also pitch maybe pitched... Maybe you have a little more time to think about it. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, we could also pitch it to the fans. You could make your cases to me now if you'd like. I also pitched the Two Friends Moving Castle.

Like, you could really jazz it up. Two Friends Moving PodCastle? Yeah, you know what I mean? I like Howl's Moving PodCastle. But who the fuck is Howl? Okay, you know what? Who's Howl? I mean, he's a character in Howl's Moving Castle.

Spoiler. We haven't gotten to that yet. This is a big thing. This is like the miniseries where I haven't seen these movies. Yes. This is a total blind spot for me. Has that ever happened? This is one of my most embarrassing cinematic blind spots. Right, and this is partly why you wanted to do it. Yeah. Yeah. To do this guy. Because it's just like, everyone's

like, how is it possible that you not only like animation right you like animation right you're into it yes thought about studying it serious about it you know how it works better than i do want to go into the field sure um and and pixar is so reverential to to him hugely more than anything biggest influence they have is right in america is probably yeah right and, and are responsible for Disney being behind Ghibli for the last 10 years of those films. They got releases and they had awards campaigns. All of that because of lots of Huggin' Lasseter's insistence.

The only time that Lasseter ever forced himself upon any issue. Great episode. But, but, but, it's this blind spot for me. I've only seen two of the movies. I saw one of them when I was young. Totoro? Yep. And then I saw Spirited Away when I was in high school. And both of them I went, I don't know.

I don't get it. Are you broken? That's the question. And so I stopped. Yeah, yeah. I stopped. We know I'm broken, please. I've been shitting for four days. I'm fundamentally broken.

I'm having panic attacks about a genre going out of popularity in popular culture. I'm a broken person. I'm personally invested in a genre. We'll be fine. We'll get our genre Don't you worry You know what's a cool genre? Castle Adventure Well then you're in luck

Because like you said the man made three of them Out of eleven movies Dungeon Crawler Yes that's what this is But what I was going to say is At that point having twice Tried when people were like oh, you're going to fucking love this Miyazaki guy

and just been like, I don't get it. I was like, I don't want to keep watching these because I feel bad not getting them. With Totoro, you probably watched the shitty old dub if you were a kid. Most probably. Yeah. So, I mean, that's not helping matters. I probably saw it when I was like six or seven when Disney first released a

home video. No, I think that was pre-Disney. That's the old... I believe that was the one that Disney released. Because I remember being in the clamshell, baby. Then after that, Miramax starts putting them out theatrically. Miramax does like Mononoke. I think that's it.

Maybe one other one. I don't know. And then Disney takes over Spirited Away. They take over in the 2000s. They did. And gave it more of a proper... I don't know and then Disney takes over Spirited Away they take over in the 2000s they did and gave it more of properly supervised dubs proper campaigns proper

releases he won an Oscar of course they'd come out in like a thousand screens they would actually make an impact yada yada yada no the Disney dub does not exist until 2004 weird you watch the crappy streamlined dub yada yada yada no the Disney dub does not exist until 2004 weird you watch the crappy

streamlined dub which was distributed by Troma and released onto VHS by Fox Video oh Fox yeah okay because they also would use the clamshell sometime I knew that Troma was the first to bring Miyazaki over here which is a weird thing

that is weird but it was a cult object at that point was the first to bring Miyazaki over here. Yeah. Which is a weird thing. That is weird but it was a cult object at that point. It was a curio. It was like to them it was like it's like this

and Toxic Adventure are the same movie. So but then with Spirited Away did you see that like in theaters? I saw that in theaters because it was such a big awards thing

and it was like it was the biggest film in the history of Japan. Right. And I was just like I gotta see this thing. like it was the biggest film in the history of Japan right and I was just like I gotta see this thing I'm a serious adult film mind now

14 and I just sat there and I was like I don't get it she's like dating the river hell yeah which is like she's not dating

that's the moment where like you start crying and I turned to my mom and I was like I don't he's a river like I wasn't being snarky about it spoiler alert

but yes we've talked about i was uh you know a very confused child i learned how to process the world through media sure and so i really needed to understand the rules of media like genre and format and structure you know and tone and things like that were like like, very important to me. In the same way that you like the actual rules of things, I wanted, like, the rules of, like, how the format works. Okay, okay.

And this is such a different storytelling plane. You mean, like, you were seeing this and you were like, you know what? I just don't understand anime in general. And that's probably a problem for me not understanding this. And that's too daunting a task right now so forget it like first of all aesthetically I was like I don't get this artistic sensibility

visually and then I also don't get the whole sort of like spiritual track the movie is on and as someone has said on reddit you know they were like I wonder if he's going to actually come to like these movies

because they're not very plot driven. Sure. Some more than other. Yeah. And Griffin seems like someone who really needs plot. I like plot.

We talk about a lot of mainstream studio films here. Sure. So if a mainstream studio film is going to work it's usually going to work on a plot level. Yeah that's the thing.

I don't think of you as a plot heavy person. I just think that's the prism through which we usually discuss whether or not these movies are working. But so many of my favorite movies as a plot-heavy person. I just think that's the prism through which we usually discuss whether or not these movies are working. But so many of my favorite movies are very plotless. But a lot of those are things I came to later,

so I kind of want to review everything through new eyes, perhaps with fewer hang-ups. This thing about me not being very confused by things as a kid, here's a good example with a movie that we've talked about before. I fundamentally could not make sense of the existence of Clifford as a kid. Here's a good example with a movie that we've talked about before. I fundamentally could not make sense of the existence of Clifford as a child. Big Red Dog? The Martin Short movie.

Oh, well. When it would come on TV and I'd be like, I don't understand. Why aren't they acknowledging that he's an adult? That's how I feel about Forky. Take that name out of your mouth. A fully cursed character. That's what we're talking about. David, by the time this episode comes out, you will already have been married to Forky. By the time this comes out, yeah, Forky is president.

And he's your husband. Yeah, I guess he's male. Sure, yes. We, of course, made a deal. We did? Wait a second. Because you think Forky's a terrorist. I just look.

You think he's a domestic terrorist. I've just read some blogs and I know some information about the kind of activities Forky's into, the kind of ideology he holds. And, you know, let me just tell you, I think he's in league with the Dark Lord. You believe in Forky, Gabe. And so, of course. Forky's just one of these bits where I so rarely strike gold on a bit. And I've struck such gold. Because, one, it's kind of funny because he's such an ineffectual creature.

Two, it works on you. This is what drives me so nuts, okay? It is so my kind of bit. Right, you love this kind of bit. Save for I hate what it's aimed at. This is my exact type of bit structure. And the way you can pound it into the ground, and every time someone tweets

some bullshit at me I have to like begrudgingly fave it because I'm like that's well constructed. So at this point I'm now retconning. At this point

we're almost two months after the release of Toy Story 4. That's true. T.S. Forky. And of course months ago you and I made an agreement

that if you saw the movie and you hated Forky, then that's where it lay. Sure. But if you liked Forky, you had to marry him. I think I'm going to like Forky. Then you got to marry him. Like, leaving the bit aside, which I'm happy to do, I'm not particularly excited for Toy Story 4, but Forky, it's kind of like Will Smith in Aladdin, where I'm like, I mean, this is the wild card.

This might be interesting. Because the rest of the trailers are like, they go on an adventure. They have to find their way home. And I'm like, I've seen this movie. Like, I don't know what that is. But Forky, that's weird. So you're kind of done with Forky.

I'm kind of into Forky. Well, my condolences to Joanna, because it sounds like you're going to marry Forky. It's a bit. I'm sorry. And she's like, what are you doing? I'm like, yeah, I have to sign this marriage contract now. I'm going to marry a piece of merchandising.

No, the real Forky. Okay. I'm not buying a Forky off the show. Right. Let's tweet out the poll. Can you just do like in the old days, just tweet out the three options? Okay.

How's moving podcast? Oh, like a title poll? No comment. Just put it out there, and at the end of the episode, we see which one is won, and there'll be a lot of dramatic tension in this episode waiting to find out who wins

because it's not like it will already be in the title and the artwork of the episode that you're listening to. I will get to work on that. Okay, great.

The Castle of Cagliostro. So, Miyazaki blind spot. I stopped trying to engage with it. I felt like it was time. I threw this out to you. He somehow hadn't been

in our March Madness bracket the first year. No. And it was kind of thrown out by a bunch of people like he should have made it and what's up that was suggested i just said to you like i think we should just fucking do that especially coming off of burton i was like let's do two david guys in a row that's true yeah um that this is right to my guys right but it's your kind of miniseries obviously it's an animation centric miniseries and I like your idea that we try and tackle

like you know within reason an animator a year at least for a year maybe Salek next year hopefully the new one will be coming out that was sort of our thinking I think that's our thinking I still like my Clements and Musker idea.

I think it's a cool idea. I feel like it was someone else. Well, Bluth, of course. There's always Don Bluth. Right. Who was on our bracket. Right. And then there are people, too, like, it's like, if Andrew Stanton ever makes another live-action film,

John Carter is such an incredible blank-check movie. Stanton's a great pick. And he's only, like, four movies, right, right now? At this point. Right? Yeah. Nemo, WALL-E, John Carter. Yeah. Dory. Right, and you have two Oh, I'm reading that.

Oh, Forky guest directed Finding Dory. Finding Dory's a good movie! Take that name out of your mouth. Pretty sure Forky directed that one. Hey, Finding Dory Gentleman's 7. It's a Gentleman's 5. Point five at best.

Finding Dory, and I'm going to repeat this, on an equal plane with Incredibles 2. Oh, that's just ludicrous. That's the most insane thing. Is Incredi- A year later-

That's a fun challenge. Yeah, Incredibles 2 rules. Is that still your third favorite Pixar movie? I don't know I need to watch them all You at the time said Third favorite

Yeah No question third favorite Maybe fourth Got a lot of love for WALL-E Maybe fifth Inside Out No it's above Inside Out Toy Story 2 would be the other one

Okay I think Why is everything going off On my device? David I'm a mess The poll's up In the words of Officer Lewis device? David! I'm a mess. The poll's up. In the words of Officer Lewis.

I'm a mess. I'm a mess. Here's a thing, though. I have had tangential familiarity with Lupin III for a very long time. Okay, so hit me with that, because I don't really, apart from this movie. I just feel like, as such a comic book store kid, this movie i just feel like as like such a comic book store kid he was a figure that was like omnipresent in uh comic book store culture especially in the 90s when there weren't as many big crossover anime you know so this is like just like late 90s when like dragon ball

z is starting to air on like toonami yes right you know and the mainstreaming the vague mainstreaming in america naruto pre-one piece pre these things that like start to like really seep over even like pre-pokemon and i'm the kid who would like demand that we go to the comic book store after uh you know little league baseball uh and then i'd stay there for an hour and a half and be like this is my exercise. That's pretty cute. There was a lot of Lupin shit. Yes.

He just seemed like Lupin the Third. This is the cool figure. Like, this is like a cool character. He's a cool thief who has a gun. Right.

Here's just a well-dressed man with a shit-eating grin and sideburns. Yeah. He's got kind of a weird haircut, but apart from that he's cool. Right.

So I just feel like I was always very aware of like, like Cowboy Bebop. Sure. Sure. This, Lupin the Third, and maybe, what's it called? Neon Genesis Evangelion. This always seemed like the one that I probably kind of like.

Well, the most grounded in a way right yeah no sci-fi elements it's really just like capers right he's based on the French gentleman thief Arsene Lupin who of course you're a big fan of well so this blows my fucking mind who's like

a he's like the gentleman thief he was created in like the turn of the century and you know he's got like a hat and a monocle you're going he's like the gentleman thief. He was created in like the turn of the century. And you know, he's got like a hat and a monocle. You're going way- And he's like, uh-huh, I steal your thing. David, you're going way too fast. There's a bunch of stuff I want to talk about here, okay?

First of all, I love that the gentleman thief is a thing we can just say, you know, the gentleman thief. The gentleman thief. The fact that the gentleman thief is an archetype- I stolepe gentlemanly this is something i've taken code i've taken this for granted for so long and last night while doing uh in bed in between diarrhea runs uh a deep uh wikipedia uh sort of searching through all the lupin marginalia right which is deep right hundred years long if you go all the way back to the

french stuff right so then i was going into that wikipedia and it said like you know the arnaud Which is deep. Right. 100 years long if you go all the way back to the French stuff. Right. So then I was going into that Wikipedia and it said like, you know, Arnaud Lupin is a gentleman thief hyperlink. And I was like, right. The gentleman thief is such an important part of fiction. Yes. The guy in the tux who can go to a party, you know, can like hold witty conversations, can chat up a countess or whatever. But then also he's like, but actually I'm after your painting. It's mine now.

Ha ha. Right. Like, you know, that sort of thing. I nicked it. I love these types of characters. The guy who steals Homer's sugar. Yes. I love these types of characters in like the late 1800s and the early 1900s

who were just like we all love the ongoing adventures of blank and it's like would you believe a thief is a gentleman you know who's kind of a gentleman thief Carmen Sandiego kind of she's kind of like a gentleman thief for the kids

of our generation because it's kind of like we're supposed to be after her but you're also kind of like I feel Yes. Because it's kind of like, you know, we're supposed to be after her, but you're also kind of like, I feel like Carmen Sandiego is kind of cool and worldly. Yeah, yeah. And she's kind of a rapscallion. Yeah.

She's super well-dressed. Yes, exactly. Right. That was the big looping thing I remember as a kid. Like, it was just like, this guy looks cool. Very cool. Like, the skinny suit. Mm-hmm.

The little tie clip. Oh. I mean mean i love a good mismatched suit in terms of colors that his friends are all like another type too like he's got these like scoundrel friends i would dress like lupin the third if i could and what holds me up is i wish i had the body type to sell it the way that he does you You almost do. You're a skinny man. It's the tall, the really lanky sort of stretch thing. And it's like the pre-Wes Anderson, like the sleeves are up too high.

Right, right, right. The pants are too short. The socks are showing. Like, Lupin was like, was on that drip pretty early. So we've also got raffles. I'm looking at some gentlemen thieves.

Right. Who David Niven played. Monsieur Verdot. I mean, that's a more modern Gentleman Thief. Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. What's his name's character? Well, but we're talking like a real, a man who infiltrates a ball.

Describe what I'm doing to the listener at home. Daintily picking up a cloth. Yes. Or a jewel. Simon Templar. You think I'm picking up a cloth. Yes. Yes. It's like, or a jewel. Simon Templar. You think I'm picking up a cloth. What's underneath the cloth? The saint.

The saint. I'm holding back the corners of the cloth. The saint is like a classic. The Thomas Crown, you know, Thomas Crown Affair. That's Gentleman Thief. Yes, right. But the time of tops and tails. Well, right.

That's what Arsene Lupin is. He's right. He's literally in a top hat right so here's this character that's like phantom x or something who's like this like beloved french right why doesn't someone do a phantom x movie phantom x is like vaguely in the marvel universe now yeah he is so they should just put phantom x in some marvel movie well they'll work all those guys in eventually right but yeah let's do come on Well, Jean Dujardin's too old now, but you need some kind of French scoundrel guy.

Oh, fuck. You know? Who's the... Come on, who's the guy? Romain Dury. Oh, I'd love Romain Dury. You know what I mean? Like, some kind of, like, scummy French guy.

Fantomax is another one of these, like, like, pulp French heroes who's, like, kind of a romantic cad. Yes. And is all stealth-like. Uh-huh. Anyway. Anyway, these sorts of characters.

So you've got those French gentleman thieves. Right. And then you have Lupin III. There is no Lupin II, right? No, no. The idea was just leave a generation space in between. Right. To catch up to the modern age, he's the third.

Right. But there was this whole thing, because the creator of Lupin III is Monkey Punch. Monkey Punch. It's his nom de plume age he's the third. Right. But there was this whole thing because the creator of Lupin the Third is Monkey Punch. Monkey Punch. It's his nom de plume. He just died. The man good went by the name of Monkey Punch.

Kazuko Kato. Kazuhiko Kato. Sorry. Monkey Punch who just died. And this character is not Like literally last month he died. This character at the time

is not part of the public domain in the way that Phantom X is, but it's sort of vaguely just kind of owned by everyone. Like, people do so much shit with him that they were like, I don't know, we can do a guy who's, like, sort of inspired by him. Sure. So they, like, make this thing that's, like, it's not James Bond Jr.

But it's, that's kind of the vibe. But I love, there's a weird space in the fact that it like 100% acknowledges the past guy by name, but it's not a direct spinoff of that franchise.

It's not beholden to any past thing. It's just sort of riffing off of it. I guess I would not be allowed to do James Bond III. Right. But could I do

Simon Templar III? Like, yeah. Who could I do? Alan Quartermain. Or it would be like doing Robin Hood like as a modern person you could say that I guess

like his name's also Robin Hood but he robs you know art galleries The Beach Bum the Third you could do that. But what's weird about the fact that it was like this character was still vaguely like protected under rights at the time and it's sort of like major fan fiction

I know what you're saying what if they instead of fixing Sonic major fan fiction. I know what you're saying. What if they, instead of fixing Sonic, they were just like, actually, this is Sonic the Third. That's why he looks different. They slowly started evolving and becoming more human. They only slept with other Sonics, so it's kind of inbred. That's why it looks like that.

That's why their teeth are so long. Lupin is created in the late 60s. It's like a manga series by Monkey Punch. And then it spawns a media franchise. There have been, I think, six different shows, anime shows. More. I watched four episodes from the first show yesterday.

Oh, which Miyazaki worked on. Right. So I watched the two first episodes that Miyazaki did not work on because I wanted to lay the land. Castle of Cagliostro. I'm going to fucking trip over this for two hours. Is the second theatrical Lupin, the third movie. That sounds right.

The Mystery of Mamo. Yes. Which I could not find any way to watch. Which came out a year before, in 78. So I was like, if I can't watch the first movie, I'm going to watch some episodes of the TV show

to get a sort of bread base. And I watched the first two episodes. He loves saying bread base. It's a great one. I watched the first two episodes and then I watched the first two that Miyazaki directed. Because I also was like,

if I'm getting into this guy, A, if I'm getting into this guy, I, if I'm getting into this guy, Lupin, I want a little bit of a sense of what it would have felt like to watch the movie already knowing these characters. I mean, yeah. Even though I think this movie

does a pretty good job of introducing everything. 100%. That's one thing that's so, this movie is like just perfectly constructed. I agree. Yes.

Spoiler, this movie rules. Rules. But I wanted to just have a little vague understanding of what it would have been like coming to the movie with some understanding

of the character right and then I also wanted to see the difference between someone else yes directing this character Miyazaki

because Miyazaki's take on him is apparently a little different a little softer right not quite as cruel yes yes

I think I'm just about to go hardcore into Lupin the Third. I think I'm going to start watching this every night when I go to sleep. I'm getting really into this guy. That's what anime, I feel like, is often so great for. It's short, it's bite-sized. If you want to just tackle an episode or two. But I just love the setting of this world where it's like you have three primary characters

who are defined by being the descendants of infamous types. Right, right, right. So Jaigen is kind of his own thing. Daisuke, yeah. Who's sort of a cowboy gangster riff. I love him. But he's sort of his own thing.

He's my favorite. Of course. Of course, of course, of course. I also, he's sort of based on James Coburn in The Magnificent Seven. Right. Is his like look. Right. But the, what's sort of based on James Coburn in The Magnificent Seven. Right. Is his, like, look. Right.

But the, what's his name, Gourmand the Samurai character? Yeah, Gourmand. Right. The first episode that Miyazaki directs is his introductory episode, which is, he is the third. No, the 13th. He is the 13th Gourmand. You're correct.

Yes. He's based on this legendary outlaw. In this episode, it is that his great-grandfather was bested by the original Lupin. That sounds awesome. He's not the first of his lineage, but he and Lupin III hold similar places within whose legacies they're directly defending. Right. And their two families have been fighting over this ancient sword for so long. And then the detective is based on sort of

the legend of an infamous historic Japanese detective. And this character is vaguely also, in the same way that all of these things are like riffing off of these vaguely somewhat public domain concepts. The punch designs are so cool. Awesome. Like super, what's the word I'm looking for? Asymmetrical.

There you go. My brain is melting. There you go. But I love that thing that it's like three people whose legacies precede them, but they also feel the burden of how infamous their family lineages are. It's like your upcoming project, or no, sorry, Dan Hernandez and Benji Samets' upcoming project about all the serial guys getting together. It's sort of that.

It's like, what if we said, we're like, yeah, what if Robin Hood's descendant and fucking this guy, you know, like, you know, name, you know, the Scarlet Pimpernel's descendant. Yeah. And this guy all hung out together. Right. You know, whatever. And it's a thing that we don't really have in American culture. Just do it. Because we have like five, like, infamous American families and they're all kind of creepy, just rich people.

Sure. We have like the Rothschilds and the Vanderbilts and the Kennedys. I hear there's a really exciting movie about the Rothschilds coming up. Oh, it sounds so good. The Gettys. Well, you're talking, yeah, sure, but there's also the classic American heroes like Davy Crockett or

Wyatt Earp or whatever. Where's Davy Crockett's great nephew? Do you know what I'm saying? Bring him in. I don't know what his deal would be, but bring him in. In these cultures that have existed for so much longer than us,

they're like, you know our classic characters. Yeah, right, right. And now we culturally are making stories about the updates who also are literally descendants of these characters. But there's just such a clean structure to Lupin the Third, whether it's in a movie or a TV show. I say as if I'm an expert having watched, I don't know,

four hours of content yesterday. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Out of a 50-year media franchise that also came out of manga that I have read zero pages of. But of course, I am now an expert in Lupin the Third. You can call me Lupin the Fourth. And this sort of sense of like, he always starts out by like calling his shot.

He publicly announces what he's going to steal. Right. He's so confident that he can pull it off, that he tells the people who he's attempting to steal from and they know who he is and they're like god damn it fucking you no we've been preparing for this moment right exactly and then he's like hold on one second

gotta call Interpol and then he calls up Interpol and they're like yeah we're fine and then the news comes he's gonna steal something he always somehow gets away and he's got these uneasy alliances cause Dragon's obviously like his right hand man He's going to steal something. Right. He always somehow gets away. Can I talk? So before. And he's got these uneasy alliances. Sure.

Because Dragon's obviously like his right hand man. Yeah. But then the character who pretends to be the familiar in this. Fujiko Mine? You mean the girl? Right. Yeah. That's her name, right?

Fujiko Mine. Yeah. Yes. She's the girl. She's like the Bond girl.? Fujiko Mine, yeah. Yes. She's the girl. She's like the Bond girl. Right. She always looks different. Yes.

She's got lots of disguise changes for every movie or TV show or whatever. Wears a black catsuit sometimes. But she's like his foil. That's her archetype. And they're in love sometimes as implied in this movie. She's like the cat woman to his Batman or whatever. Her allegiance to Chef. Sometimes she's working with him. Sometimes they Batman or whatever. Her allegiance to Chef.

Sometimes she's working with him. Sometimes it's a double cross. You never know. Sure. I like this whole world. I do too. Before we get into the plot of the Castle of Cagliostro, before we breach the walls

of the castle, how about slight bits of context on Miyazaki? Please. And then I bought a book. I bought two books, actually. Right.

They're trying to collect anything Miyazaki. Please. And then I bought a book. I bought two books, actually. Right. They're trying to collect anything Miyazaki ever fucking wrote. That's what these books are. Okay. Like, anytime he... If he wrote an article for, like, a magazine, he gave an interview, something like that. Right. They've packaged it all as, like, collections of essays. Wow. One's called Starting Point. I forgot what the other one's called. Okay. So you've been doing your work.

Because I'll just say, I was was I didn't know until recently maybe two years ago that this was his first movie. This is his first feature. I was like wait Miyazaki directed a Lupin the third movie? Right. You assumed his first movie was Nausicaa?

I didn't know I just was like that's weird that he started out making like the second film based off a TV show based off a comic book. Because he becomes such an auteur. He has his own studio. It's all fully his idea. It's like if David Lynch's first film was inexplicably Smokey and the Bandit 3.

Right, right. But sometimes that's how it goes, right? Sometimes. Piranha 2. Piranha 2, right. I was going to ask David, since Griffin talked about his relationship with the director what's your relationship with the user?

it's boring, it's just that I saw Princess Mononoke whenever that was which is probably the first movie the first of those movies to be properly exposed to American audiences thanks to Harvey Weinstein, American hero I feel like he messed with it in some way I remember it had a very fancy voice cast

like stars Christian Bale and Claire Danes or whatever. I think he messed with it in a bunch of ways. I think he messed with it a lot. I remember it opening at the Angelica and it being like a sensation. Yes. So I saw that and thought it was terrific and then I saw Spirited Away when I was 16

in theaters as well. That was probably the first time I saw one of his films. Is there no film in between those two? No. So that's like kind of his big gap. Like a five year gap. That was probably the first time I saw one of his films with the Japanese. Is there no film in between those two? No. So that's kind of his big gap. Like a five-year gap. That's the point at which he now, he would retire after every movie.

Every time he says, I'm done. Yeah. But so Spirited Away, I remember I saw that at the Canada Town Odeon in Britain where I grew up. I'm sorry, wait. The United Kingdom. One second.

Of Great Britain. Let's roll back. You saw... Spirited Away. Oh, Spirited Away. the United Kingdom of Great Britain Northern Ireland roll back you saw Spirit of the Way Spirit of the Way and how old are you? 16 you said the kingdom? it was

a series of kingdoms it's the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland wait but what you is that the country

the sovereign country it's existed for about a couple thousand years but why would you have gone that far away to see? Was it not playing anywhere within? You don't like flying. I just said that Mononoke was playing at the Angelica. I would imagine.

I saw Spirited Away. What? Grew up there. Oh, my God. From 1995 to 2008, I lived in Britain. So I saw Spirited Away in Britain where I lived at the Camden Town Odeon in the big screen. Japanese dub. Where you have the Japanese version.

I just took out a bagel. You did. Yeah. And that was the one. Like I had seen Mononoke and responded to it. But that was the one where I was like, why don't I know everything about this guy? Like, wait a second. Like, what is, this is,

this has turned my brain inside out. So then this becomes one of your guys. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, there are people who are far better versed in him than I am. I've just seen the movies and I love him a lot. I'm not saying you're one of his guys. I'm saying he's one of your guys. He wouldn't cite you as his best fan.

No, he probably wouldn't. But you'd say he's one of your favorite filmmakers. He probably doesn't even know who I am. Don't say that. That's not true. I don't think he knows who I am. He definitely knows who you are. You think so?

Oh, my God. No question. He definitely- He's a blankie. David, he thinks about you a lot. I don't even think he's a blankie. What do you think his favorite blank check miniseries is? I think he was a big Night Cheese fan.

Yeah, sure. I think he liked James Albrook. Yeah, yeah, right. That was him. He was like, I love the I'll do anything double episode. I didn't notice H. Miyazaki ordering a Hello Fennel mug recently on our TeePublic page. Yeah, maybe he'll make like a delightful film about a talking fennel. What if he comes out of retirement?

Hello fennel? What if he comes out of retirement and Hello, fennel. What if he comes out of retirement and we see the announcement of his new movie and it's just about Ben? And we're like, wait a second. This is 100%. The producing adventure of young Ben. I think that would be the movie that would break him. He wouldn't be able to complete it.

My new film concerns a magical, fantastical creature who comes from a porch in New Jersey. One of the characters is a ditch. I mean, honestly, I'm getting into it. Yeah. You know, we have a saying in our family, use sports, don't let sports use you. Hi, it's Jeff Merrick from 32 Thoughts to Podcast.

Are you a sports parent, rep sports, travel sports, whatever you call it? If you're like me, you know that one of the great joys of having your kid or kids play sports is travel. You know, our families use sports to see different parts of the world, meet new people, and stay in a number of different places. Recently, we've started using Airbnb. The kids love it because it feels like a sleepover at a new friend's house, while my wife and I enjoy more space, a proper bed, and mostly a washing machine. That really comes in handy for baseball trips. Trust me. In fact, it was on a baseball trip last summer when my wife sent me a text after the first night saying, do you think we could do this?

Look, if you've ever stayed at an Airbnb, you've probably wondered the same thing. Could our place be an Airbnb? And now that our kids have also discovered the joys of skiing, in addition to travel hockey and travel baseball, we're on the move even more. Well, our house just sits there. Why not make a little extra money to cover some costs

right we have friends who travel south every winter and they airbnb their place why not look if you want to make a little extra cash and who doesn't need that these days maybe your home could be the way to make it happen find out how at airbnb.com hi i'm'm Miyazaki. Born in 1941. Good year. In Tokyo. In Bunkyo, which is a town in Tokyo. I was joking.

Bad year. 41? Yeah. Historically? America enters the war. Pearl Harbor. Yeah. You know, there are some things

that went down in that year. I just want to make sure I'm not on record as being a 1941 fan. It was the year my dad was born. Okay, fine. A couple good things happened. Miyazaki was born then.

Yeah, two good friends. His dad worked for Miyazaki Airplane. This is going to come up because Miyazaki loves his aircraft. He made rudders for a fighter plane. Okay. So they lived a nice life. They were perfectly affluent. When he was three, they were evacuated

to a town called Utsunomiya. Utsunomiya. Sorry. Just want to get that right. Utsunomiya was then bombed by the Allies in 1945, and he witnessed that. Oh, it's just a bagel Utsunomiya was then bombed by the Allies In 1945 and he witnessed that

Oh it's just a bagel with butter Yeah sure I love it And so I think Those are just things you gotta note The attachment to aviation From birth And you gotta note that he was traumatized by war You know at a very young age

Like he witnessed all this horrible stuff His mom suffered from spinal tuberculosis so she was in the hospital all the time she was nursed from home that's gonna be pretty crucial for movies like totoro which are about like illness and family and things like that uh she was very strict woman very uh distant i think uh and he wanted to be a manga artist he struggled that was always his dream he struggled with people okay but he was good at vehicles that was his like oh in general i thought you meant socially oh i don't know if he struggled visually but he couldn't draw them interesting he struggled with drawing people uh he uh saw a film in 1958 called the panda panda and the magic serpent okay two two things we love classic mashup movie yeah uh and that was like that was the most epic crossover

lightning strike right moment yeah um he uh worked then he works as a young man at toey animation which is like the big animation studio, I feel like, right? It's still, it's still a huge deal. Sure. And that's where he meets Isao Takahata, who is the man he's going to found Ghibli with. The other big director. Have you ever seen any Takahatas?

I don't think so. You know who he is? I know. Grave of the Fireflies. I've know. Grave of the Fireflies. I've never seen Grave of the Fireflies. Only yesterday. Wow, you've never seen Takahata movies either. Of course, why would you have?

If you haven't seen Miyazaki's, right. He didn't do Princess Kaguya, did he? No. Oh, yes, of course. What am I talking about? Princess Kaguya. That's his final magnum opus. I saw that and loved it.

Yeah, that movie is incredible. Which is one of the things that made me go, like, I should go back. I mean, that movie is incredible. Which is one of the things that made me go, like, I should go back. I mean, that movie is so heart-rending. It's, yes, very special. Kaguya I love, and Grey with the Fireflies is a big, big, big blind spot for me. Sure, Grey with the Fireflies is very good. I think it's probably kind of in my wheelhouse.

Yes, his best movie. Because of the devastation. Highly devastating. His best movie is only yesterday okay uh which is one of my favorite movies of all time wow um which is just about a girl who goes on uh like a retreat to a farm in her like she's in her late 20s and remembers her childhood and all these sort of incidents from her childhood. Oh, yes. They just re-released this recently. They just finally re-released it

because Disney refused to put it out because they discussed menstruation in it. Wow. Yes. I mean, that's always been the rumor, I should say. It's not like Disney came out with a statement saying, like, we don't like menstruation. But that was always thought of as the reason

why Disney never put it out. Right. I mean, Goofy came out with a statement. Look, look, I think it's gross. That impression fell apart the second he started saying words. I could do the laugh, kind of. I still think it was a good premise.

The premise is funny. But Takahata in 68 makes an anime film called The Great Adventure of Horus, Prince of the Sun. These are all good titles. It's a great title. Yeah.

Which is this insane movie. Okay. Like super crazy adventure. Very kinetic. Very like colorful. Miyazaki works on that movie with him. And so that's when they're

they're getting going. Okay. And they work together on The Wonderful World of Puss in Boots which is another classic Toei like 60s movie. And they work together on the Lup world of puss in boots which is another uh classic toey like 60s movie and they work together on the lupin movies lupin however you want to say it yeah

on the tv show and stuff they also want to do a pippi long stocking project that i think was uh fell apart when the the rights holders were like no uh something Something like that. They do Heidi and the Mountains. They do do that. I mean, and they work on Anne of Green Gables. They did an adaptation of Anne of Green Gables, which I've never seen. Interesting. Miyazaki loves landscapes. He loves nature. He loves old buildings, things like that.

And now I'm going to read for you from this book. Yeah, I'm not fucking around around David's taking a leather bound volume no I took pictures of it he's choking up a key and now he's using the key to unlock the book the book is glowing so first he says I began

Chip Smith is on the crest of the book no no don't bring him into Miyazaki. Maybe this will come up later. Oh, Jesus. Maybe it's just a tease. I don't know what you're talking about. Chip Smith's family book. I'm going to create a conspiracy subplot this miniseries.

This miniseries is going to have a very detailed narrative. Forky's at work here. That's what that voice is. Forky's my friend, and he's your husband. I would appreciate it if you stopped airing our good friends' secrets. I tell it like it is. I lay it all out there about my relationships. I leave it on the table.

All right. Here's what Miyazaki said. Okay. I began by drawing a bird's eye view picture of the setting for this story. A lake and a castle of a small country. Cool. When I completed this drawing, I was confident

the film would go well. I mean, that's a great attitude. It is. So he storyboards the whole movie. He gives it to a screenwriter who's the other credited screenwriter who writes the plot and dialogue. So this is not based on a specific like story this is kind of his creation I think it's vaguely inspired by a Lupin

story but like pretty vaguely cause this is what I was reading it's very much his own idea I think is that at the time this film was not super well received within the it was seen as like he's not hardcore enough that was the thing within the canon of Lupin the third they were like he's acting too much like a hero.

Right. Because the thing he's stealing this time is a woman's heart? Yeah, get out of here. The treasure is the discovery of an ancient city? Right, which he's like, cool. Right, and people are like, I want to see him make off with coins! A scepter! Give me that dollars!

Yeah, much like, of course, our good friend Chey, Lupin's catchphrase is Dollar dollar bill y'all Dollar dollar bill y'all He said he wrote The plot out and divided it into an A, B, C, D There were four sections of the film And as they were working They realized that C

Was The whole thing was way too fucking long so that um c was compressed and d was dropped interesting because of this compromise i felt a sense of psychological defeat for half a year after the completion of the film even so i do not think my method was a mistake that's his that's how he ends this little essay. Okay. So I guess whatever. But you know it's like a 100 minute movie. I assume there was some you know you can't go

too long on these things. Then he also wrote this really long essay about Lupin in Animage about like the legacy of the character what was so cool

about this Japanese people like at the time this very kind of like cowboy American guy who like drank, drank, like, liquor. So is he supposed to be American? He's supposed to be French, isn't he? I don't fucking know.

That's what I'm so confused by. You know, he has, it's more that he has all these, like, Western. Right, right. Certainly. Like, cars and watches and brands. And also. I don't know. I don't know.

Touch of France. brands and also i don't know when the lupin series started here's where he writes japan was still in its shirake or apathetic era. Lupin was conceived as a character who had inherited a fortune, lived in a mansion, didn't care about the rat race, and worked as a thief just because he was bored. Man, that rule. I know. He's like, fuck you.

I'm not a salary man, and I only do this for fun. Right. I don't need the money. Yeah, also I dress well. Look at my need the money. Yeah, also I dress well. Look at my green blazer. Yeah, he does dress well. He's got a joie de vivre.

He does. He just, he holds himself so well. Yeah. So apathy, Miyazaki says, was like the trend of the early 70s.

Like, that's sort of, you know, the kind of like, that's why Lupin is so like floppy. He's always like sort of like reclining.

He's grinning. He doesn't give a shit he's got shit he didn't grin there's vietnam yeah right like this yeah it's like who cares all the rules are broken he kind of like all of his like standing poses are like a marionette puppet like it's like these very like hard floppy angles if that makes any sense right i know it's contradictory but he's both hard and floppy. No, you're right. Because it's like very clean lines and angles and then it's always

sort of like in relaxing or like leaning or you know slouching poses or whatever. Now, Miyazaki and Takahata he says we were in the hungry stage of our career.

We wanted to do whatever we could. Oh, the Hunger Games. But they wanted to take him out of this apathetic mode. That's what they were thinking in 1978. Right. they wanted to take him out of this apathetic mode. That's what they were thinking in 1978. Right. They wanted to make him care.

We weren't ordered to do so, but even though apathy was still cool, we wanted the high energy of mini car races. We wanted Lupin to be happy-go-lucky and upbeat. He would run around in circles, and the inspector is the one who's kind of like the drone, and Lupin's wild. He would rely on his wits and his physical abilities and uh jigen would be funny and uh cheerful and gomon would be an anachronism and all that and fujiko would not be like sexy she's called fujiko referring to her large breasts oh funny referring to the mountain, Mount Fuji, the mountain range. Her name's Fujiko Love. What's her last name? Fujiko, Fujiko Mine.

Oh, okay. Mine. Yeah. And all that, you know, and he's trying to like, let's, let's make it less fucking cynical. Like, let's make it more fun. So. And it feels a little more classical. I mean, there's like this, the whole thing, the movie, I'm sorry, I just took a bite of

a bagel. He did. But the whole thing to this movie of, I just took a bite of bagel. You did. But the whole thing to this movie of being like, modern characters in this like, very classic archetypal,

like, here's a castle, there's a princess in the spire. It's very, right, yes, totally,

totally. You know? But, who's gonna break in? Not a knight in shining armor, but this cool thief guy. Although he wears a little armor.

Um, yes. Uh, and uh, so, yeah so yeah like that's the mini car races he keeps talking about mini car races whatever those are pilot episode is him at a car race right and he loves that that little fiat he drives he's a fast driver i mean the movie opens with them driving away from monte carlo yeah and their car is so full of money that like the only thing that you can see in the car except for the money

is their face. It's like a clown car with a dollar dollar bill. It's so great. I mean, I watched the movie with Chucky and he was loving this. He was like,

so he's cool with currency. I know that guy. I know that guy. I know that guy. So they're driving away and they're like, ha ha ha. And then,

then he's like, fuck, get rid of it. Yeah. It's counterfeit. It's all counterfeit. This isn't real. And, you know. They roll down the windows. Money never stops flowing out.

I love it. It's like, it's like the exhaust pipe of the car is just like an endless stream of counterfeit bills. Right. And it was such good counterfeiting that even like a casino thought it was real. Right. How did this infiltrate a state run casino? Great premise. And then the answer to that is there's this castle that's a country and is thus protected from like any international law.

Where is it exactly? I think it's supposed to be like Lichtenstein or whatever. San Marino, like one of the, yeah, which is in Italy. You know, one of those nation states that's just the city size. I've never heard of the country before. It's not real. What? Fuck.

God, I wish... Ben has kayak.com open. He was trying to book a flight to Cagliostro. I wanted to see it. It looked beautiful. That's why he's been refreshing for an hour. There's blood on his keyboard. There's blood on his keyboard. That's why Ben has his Delta Air Miles credit card out.

There's blood on his keyboard from hitting refresh over and over and over again. Yeah, no. Cagliostro is not a real place. Yeah, San Marino, right? You know, one of those tiny... Sure. Opposite of Coruscant. Whole Planet's a city?

No. Oh. Whole City's a country. Yeah. Whole Castle's a country. Whole planet's a city? No. Oh. Whole city's a country. Yeah. Whole castle's a country. Whole country's a castle. Um, so... But Lupin knows about this. It's a grand duchy. He knows about this place. He immediately, he puts it

together. He's like, hey. Cagliostro. First off, stop shedding tears for this counterfeit money. Because, second of all, this gave me an idea for our next heist. Right.

I know where we gotta go. We don't even need this counterfeit money. Right. Lose it. Get out of here. So, they're driving.

They see this young woman who's being pursued by, like, a car. A bride. She's a bride. And the car is being driven by thugs. And Lupin rescues her

and they like, is that when they sort of run down the cliff together? I'll say this. Miyazaki great at designing angry grimaced faces. Oh sure. Yes. So good at it. Disgruntled, withered, frog-faced people.

They're only going to get weirder and weirder. I know that. Like, I just know from seeing images of his movies. This is his cheapest movie, but it's very hard to do. I mean, it was made for 500 million yen in 1978. I don't know. Yeah, I have no idea how to translate that. I'm going to try and figure that out. But, yeah, come on.

Give me, you know, like, this is Clarice. Right, but it's like, who is this lady? Why were they chasing after her? Right. And how did I lose her? It's in a very subtle way to, like, early on that he has this sort of like past relationship with her.

Right. I really like how they set that up. Right. Or even he's not telling his friend and they kind of wrestle each other.

Right. To like get him out of like get the info out of him. Because he doesn't want to talk about what he's done before. Right. Right.

He wants to stay focused on the future. Sure. But it's clear there's a reason he knows about this castle. There's a reason that she's reminding him of something. Spoiler alert.

He, like, because he, well, he eventually confesses that he tried to invade this castle years ago. When he was more of a greenhorn, you know, when he was new to the thieving biz. Greenhorn? You never heard that phrase? No. I'm going to make sure I'm using it right. Greenhorn. Greenhorn. Informal. North American. that phrase no i'm gonna make sure i'm using it right greenhorn greenhorn informal north american a person who is new or inexperienced at a particular activity wow a greenhorn

uh the horn of a newly slaughtered animal oh it's literally referring to a green, a horn that is fresh. Or that's one hypothesis for where it comes from. Another is the German expression, which means to be green behind the ears. Wow. You learn something new every day. That is crazy. Did you know that, Ben?

Have you heard that phrase? Greenhorn I know I want to make a movie that's like a greenhorn versus a blue beard What was the Oh Blue Flame Special That's the other one we couldn't really figure out Yeah I've since seen a lot of people dig into it They never came up with an answer

They gave us answers But it would only provoke more questions. Yeah. Like they'd be like oh it means he has blue flames shooting out of his ass. And I'm like well what does that mean? Where'd that come from? It means he's special. It's right there in the name. Clarice? He didn't want to talk about it because it's like you know

much like DJ Khaled all Lupin the Third does is win. He's never chalked up a big L. All he does is win. It's another one for him. And this was a failure of his. Cagliostro beat him. Can we just talk about DJ Khaled for like one second?

Yeah, because you recently, you had never seen DJ Khaled until the SNL performance. I'd never seen him perform. Obviously, I'd seen him in like GIFs and stuff. No, same here. You always hear him in the songs. No, no, no. I didn't know about that. Right, that's what David wants to talk about.

I thought that he did something. He does nothing. Oh, he does nothing. No, but what the fuck? He's a producer. I refuse. He throws a party. He essentially throws a party

and he goes like, you're invited to this song and then has seven massively successful and talented artists just take turns. And he stands there and goes like, he's like a ringmaster. Well, there's a tradition to that in hip hop. Yes, there is. There's like very prominent producers who put out their own album and then curate the artists who go on the track. He is kind of an

ultimate heightening of it though. In terms of how much he makes himself the star of the thing. And also how little work he does. Usually it's a little more towards the middle in terms of like but really it's about these other people and also I'm very hands on.

And he's just sort of like hey next Thursday at 4 o'clock if if you're free, can you come by? We're just going to have the mics on. And then, like, Lil Wayne shows up. Here's what I've known about DJ Khaled. And then drops his verse. And then he's like, cool. All of his shit's just improvised where he just goes like, number one.

Improvised? That is an insult to Del Close or whoever the fuck. He gets very defensive when people are like, you don't really do anything. And he's like, try listening to the songs without my interjections. Probably they'd be bad because they're bad. Yeah. All right. So here's what I first knew about him, that there were like gifs of him saying like, congratulations, you played yourself.

And I'm like, oh, he's like a big guy with a beard. Right. And I guess that's his vibe that he tells people that they played themselves. Right. Talked out after the third wing on Hot Ones well that's something I learned

he's a fucking loser we're getting to that we're getting to that we're getting like okay we're getting to that too because he started out local radio DJ

he was actually spinning records introducing songs I didn't really know that but I learned that later also started out skinny is that true

yeah really he's fairly handsome when he's young out of Miami correct correct I'm so glad that DJ Khaled is now True. Yeah. Really? He's fairly handsome when he's young. Out of Miami, correct? Correct. That's interesting.

I'm so glad that DJ Conlett is now occupying real estate in the fucking castle. Of Gagliostro? Yeah. So, like, I guess I first just initially thought, like, he's either on a reality show or a musician and has built up some sort of a brand as someone who tells you that you played yourself he's sort of a calm large man who says congratulations you played yourself i thought then no you can talk in a very specific then i knew that there was something to do with keys i didn't know what exactly but i knew that he like either gave you keys or had a key i don't

even know this he gives out keys it's i don't even know this. He gives out keys. It's, I don't even know. He's always talking about fucking keys. Like he's the key maker. It's some weird thing he invented where he's like keyed up. It's like some kind of positive sort of like thing he invented. I don't remember. Like Matrix Reloaded?

No, it's not. I wish it was like that. It's not the key master. The key master. Okay. The key master. Right.

No. And he also wrote a self-help book. So what I was going to say is I felt like- Because all I do is win. That's all his bullshit. I felt like he was pivoting into Andrew W.K. territory of being this weird pseudo-motivational speaker. Sure.

But now, I don't think he's moved away from that somewhat. I think people don't like that he doesn't eat- He doesn't go down on women. He does not somewhat. Or I think people don't like that. He doesn't eat, uh, you know, he doesn't go down on women. All right. Well, so here's the thing. So then I learned,

no, he has something to do with keys. Yes. Then I know about maybe like songs. Like all I do is when I realized like, Oh, he's involved. I at least have heard of that song.

Right. Like, you know, there's things like that. Then I'm like, I guess he's a musician and he has albums and he's famous. And for me to not know who musician is, it's not that weird. know who musician is is not that

weird same here i'm not that keyed in same here keys okay anymore wow okay then i hear that he famously doesn't eat pussy and i'm like that's insane one two it's weird then i watch the clip and i'm like he's proud of it like what is this this is when i take note as well exactly this is when he's got my attitude sucks i don't do that because no one knows what he is like really what he does like he's the king and i'm like what kind of fucking bullshit is this and and they say like but what about your wife isn't she the queen and his only response that is yeah but i just don't do that yeah right which i'm just like okay so he's obviously an asshole a very generous man right and then you're

telling me things like you know the wings thing and i'm like okay so he's just an asshole. A very generous man. Right. And then you're telling me things like, you know, the wings thing. And I'm like, okay, so he's just like a charlatan. He's like pulled the wool over all our eyes. He taps out after wing three and then spends the remaining 20 minutes explaining why he didn't lose. Yeah. We discussed this on a Patreon episode. It's a logical fallacy. You guys, right.

Not everyone would have listened to that. So then, all right. Then finally, the day comes. He's on Saturday Night Live the television program he said I'd never make it DJ Khaled and I said he's had this narrative for like 10 years they wouldn't book him on the show

and now I finally get to prove my point it's the finale Paul Rudd is hosting it's a fairly bad episode kind of a waste of rud. Yeah. Opens with this incredibly lackluster Trump sketch, even by their things. Where they sing Don't Stop Me Now.

I would argue the two funniest sketches in the episode were the DJ Cotland performance. Right. I was busting a gut. So after like a lackluster 35 minutes, you know, I guess it's time for DJ Cotland. He comes out dressed. Here I am. I'm finally going to see a song by he is dressed like an uncle at margaritaville right a hundred percent yeah a thousand percent yeah and he proceeds to invite other rappers onto the stage they rap and he points at them says their

name and then after they say something says yes and we're talking like 10 rappers per song yeah and we're also talking and they're like i've heard of some of them some of them i haven't but i assume they're big deals right like some of them i know we're also at this point talking about an snl performance from three months ago and i'm just i'm just like how can this be i understand how did this guy Trump is president like all in spies in disguise that is that's just that's this is the core of our confusion shame you're telling me so so immediately I go this guy's got so little talent yeah he's in the first credit block for spies in disguise first credit who did he have to go down on in order to get that part he won't do it then you tell me won't do it who's hot wings did he have to eat? None. You tell me.

He's not eating neither wings nor fageen. How did he get this role? He's the man. And here's another thing. For a guy who, on the record, doesn't eat a lot of things, how'd he get that girth? He's a big guy. He's a big guy.

But I'm not going to. But every time I see him on camera, he's saying, I won't eat that. Fair enough. That's all I'm saying. He's a social brand of I'm not going to. I'm not. But every time I see him on camera, he's saying, I won't eat that. Fair enough. That's all I'm saying. He's a social brand of, I won't eat that. But like, I kind of, I don't, I'm cool with it that he's a big guy because I feel like it's a good look. He's kind of got that sort of Don vibe, you know, like.

He's got a Don vibe. You know what I mean? Yes. He rocks the fuck out of a sweatsuit. Yeah. He's got the sweatsuits. He's got the big beard. Like he's got a good look. He comes out the big beard. Like, he's got a good look.

But he comes out. People are just coming on stage and doing work. He's introducing them and saying, he's like someone at a fucking cotillion, like announcing Mr. and Mrs. Blah as they come in. He's the bar mitzvah DJ. The Count of Cagliostro's here. He is a bar mitzvah DJ bringing up relatives to light the candles.

Yes, that's what he is. And then here's Aunt Janice. Here's what a fool I am. Oh boy. I love this. I watched this first performance and I'm so baffled that I'm like,

maybe that's just- You had a meltdown on Twitter. I did. And I'm like, and people are just tweeting at me like, DJ Khaled, keys. And I'm like, this is not helpful,

but I guess you're all in on the joke um which is I guess how we just proceed with society now where someone gets famous and rather than us being like how did this happen we're just like I guess that's funny that they're existing but Ben said also like he made this transition what really blew him up in the last four or five years was his like skill at social media and turning himself into this brand and this vague life coach right but then he's also like no but i insist that you take me serious as a musician yeah he's weirdly got a huge chip on his shoulder right but he only points to people right but here's what a fool i am a fool yeah is that i watched that first performance was so baffled and was like you know what i guess

that was probably just one of his songs that's heavy on the featured artists and maybe for the second song like 99.9% maybe for the second song it'll be more of like a Khaled forward yeah maybe he has a verse a mere verse he does not rap

the second one could start it's the same fucking thing at one point he says Saturday Night Live which is the show he's on. I've been watching the show for an hour plus. I know what the show is. I had, in his defense, I had forgotten about it. So you were like, oh, you locked in. You're like, oh, this is Saturday Night Live.

Right. Just, I don't understand it. He has never rapped. Okay. I mean, congratulations to him. I don't know. He used to actually spin the records himself. Sure.

He does not either at this point. Yeah. He is not a very hands-on producer. No. The basics of his job are inviting the people. Literally, like, if you're free on Thursday, we're having a cookout. Well, he has engineers. Come on by whenever it's good.

He has engineers make the track for him. Right. And then he invites the people over. Which, at this point, it's like he's has engineers make the track for him. Right. And then he invites the people over. Which at this point, it's like he's got a golden Rolodex. Right. And then he fucking calls out who is the person rapping at that moment. Which, look, as someone who's listened to rap music my whole life, sometimes, especially when you're younger days, you might hear a verse and be like, you know, I don't know

who this is. It's like maybe the song would have three artists featured and take you a while to figure out who each of them was. someone like your dr dre okay the good dr dre phd started out as a rapper of his own produced was hands-on producing sure when he would pick a new person he might take a verse when he had his own albums he'd have a lot of but you knew how his music it was what he like. You knew what he was adding to the jambalaya. So DJ Khaled is basically like the voice on my wireless earphones that's connected to David's iPad.

Correct. Right. He's like, DJ Khaled, Meek Mill! And I'm like, okay. DJ Khaled was speaking, and he announced Meek Mill. And it's like if the voice on your Bluetooth headphones was like, by the way, I am the artist of this song, not the Beatles. And I'm great. Right.

You're like no I'm listening to the White Album and it's like I know but through my headphones. Yeah I'm giving it to you. This is mine. Let's talk about the plot of Castle Cagliostro. Probably a good ad point there right? What a good ad break that was. You've got Clarice.

Yeah. She's gonna get married. She's actually quite shy in retiring. You've got Clarice. Yeah. She's going to get married. She's actually quite shy in retiring. You got the Count. Uh-huh. A great villain. Oh, boy. This guy is a jerk. What?

What a grumpus this guy is. He's a real grump. Talk about a chingus. Beautiful. No, chungus. Chungus. Sorry. Not chingus.

I don't know what a chingus would be. He's a big chungus. Got a big purpley, right? Like a jacket, right? Yeah. That's sort of his vibe. A wide frog face. Which, as you say, is just a Miyazaki specialty.

Yeah, right. He's very, like, for someone who is bad at faces, what a face. Well, he kind of makes that into his his like uh maybe he's bad at your conventional faces i mean but also i was gonna look his wedding look his wedding look that was my look for the wedding before when you married for he was wearing the fucking purple cape uh purple cape and like a hood of bahamut or whatever this goat god is yeah um yeah so he's got yeah he's got kind of the red jacket, purple, and then later he has more of a sort of like military uniform.

Like a sort of red coat, right? With the gold buttons. Count, he's a jerk. Yes. And Lupin does the classic I am going to steal Clarice from you. I'm calling it. I'm throwing down the gauntlet.

I'm stealing Clarice. He brings in Goemon. This time it's the greatest treasure of all. A woman whose love you do not deserve. Obviously, the Count is mass-producing fake currency at his castle. So there is that. But Lupin doesn't really care about that. The inspector cares about that.

That's the thing. But he knows that the inspector is going to follow him wherever he goes. Yes. And he knows that by bringing the inspector's attention. Chaos. Stir up some chaos. Yeah. But I do love that.

Right. He's like, cool. The plan is, get the samurai guy. Get Goemon. Yeah. He'll chill with us. Figure out immediately that lady is my old romantic rival. Right.

Fujiko. So, like. But that's what I like about romantic rival, Fujiko. What I like about Goemon and Fujiko is both of them sort of have that Namor-Fantastic Four relationship where they're like, I got my own thing going on. I have my own legacy to uphold. Sometimes we can work together if it benefits both of us, but sometimes you might think I'm working for you, but I ain't. Exactly.

And then he tips off the inspector. Yeah. Who works for Interpol. What a boss move. Yeah. Just be like, hey, this is Lupin III calling for the inspector. I just want to give you a heads up that I'm about to steal some stuff. Call me back when you get a chance on my landline or on my cell.

And the inspector is just like wants to get Lupin. That's his goal. Which I mean, God, one of those things I just love. Anytime that someone's life is devoted to catching someone, it's one of my favorite storytelling tropes. Especially when you know he can't. Yes. You know, like the eternal frustration, right? Like there's something sort of lovely about that.

The great characters in the annals of storytelling. You're Wile E. Coyote. We love him. You're Inspector. We respect. Carl Tart's the chief. Gumshoes. Officer Hanratty, catch me if you can.

Sure. Any of these guys who are just like defined by like, I'm this close and the guy always gets away from me. Right. And then there's all kinds of business in the castle. I'm trying to remember what, I guess it's like he makes it

to Clarice. He's got her ring. Her special ring. And he sort of announces to her, he's like, I just want you to know, I got a whole plan going on. Yeah, I'm gonna totally rescue you. I'm getting you out of here. And explains to her, like, I'm a thief. I rule. And she's like, like the James Caan movie. And he's like, exactly, I'm a thief. I rule. And she's like, like the James Caan movie. And he's like, exactly.

I'm going to pinch you. Yeah, he pinches her. And, I mean, I just like, he gets dropped down a trap door. I'm just trying to remember if anything else big happens before he gets dropped down a tent. This is an area in which this movie started to really get me all jazzed up. Because it's cool old castle. Well, this is what I was going to say. The Fantastic Four movie that's existed in my mind since I was fucking 12 years old that I tried to write in high school and all these things.

The whole big idea was that the third act was like. At Doom's Castle? Yeah, and it was like this. And he's playing I Want You Back. That was a part of it. I just like that idea. I mean, it could be a different song. I just like the idea

that he's playing the pop song that Reed used to like. That was it. It was that they were college roommates and that he, while he was trying to study, would be forced to listen to Reed play I Want You Back

over and over again and so he would torture him. I'm just saying. This is pre-Guardians of the Galaxy. I know, but I'm just saying, Marvel, like, you have it now.

They're gonna eventually enter the fucking world. Do you know how many friends, like, called me up and texted me after Guardians came out? And they were like, hey, I want you back. Right, yeah. Because I'd be like, no, but it's like a superhero movie, but they use, like, pop songs because they were obsessed with the pop song. Right. I'm not giving myself any credit.

I'm just saying. No, I mean, someone was going to do it eventually. Someone was going to do it eventually. Right. give myself any credit. I'm just saying. No, I mean, someone was going to do it eventually. Someone was going to do it eventually. Right. But the idea of aesthetically classic castle,

history of this country, but all the weird, like, trap, sort of like death maze, mechanical, like when they have that, like, extendo bridge and all the trap doors and the tunnels, I was like, I want to see a fucking superhero movie that ends with four superheroes in a fucking old school stone castle that has weird robot traps and buzz saws.

Elevators, buzz saws. Doom bots. Clockwork, doom bots. All of that shit. And so when I was like, oh, fuck. It also has crazy soldiers with knife hands and armor. And so like when I was like, oh, this also has like crazy soldiers with like knife hands and armor. So like I was just I was like, this is the movie that's existed in my head since I was like an adolescent.

Right. And now I'm watching this fucking gentleman thief. See, I had a similar town. I had a similar kind of thought, but I was like Mega Man. Love Mega Man. Oh, interesting. And how you could like, I don't know, like, I just think that's such an interesting property. That's what Mega Man is. It's just like, how could we plug it in? Are they really working on a Mega Man movie? I think they have to. There's a new TV show.

Oh, maybe that's it. There has to be a Mega Man movie in the works. You gotta do Mega Man X. Tommy Lee Jones has to play Boomer Kawanga. But also so much of Mario is the Bowser's castle. I mean, just these sort of like, here's an incongruous kind of character type placed into a weirdly like stylized castle. Yeah. Supposedly Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman are working on it.

Oh. All for it. Love Nerve. Weird. You ever seen Nerve? I haven't seen Nerve. Oh. I got to hit the Nerve?

Do I got to hit that Nerve? Yeah. You'd Nerve. Oh. I gotta hit the Nerve? Do I gotta hit that Nerve? Yeah. You'd love it. You'd love it. Okay. I also think Paranormal Activity 3 is fantastic. I agree with you on that. I saw that one.

And that's them too. Yeah. They also did Paranormal Activity 4, which is less fantastic. Didn't see. And Catfish. Of course Catfish. Of course Catfish. But Nerve is great.

If you carry a bunch of copies of Nerve, you could say you have a lot of nerve. I mean, yeah. And you know what? You could say if I stole one from you, if I shoplifted, I just sort of pickpocketed one from you. Taking my last nerve? Well, I pinched a nerve.

It was worth it. It was worth it. It was not bad. Not bad at all. Not bad at all. Better than Ben's thing, which, by the way, was worth it. It was worth it. It was not bad. Not bad at all. Not bad at all. Better than Ben's thing, which, by the way, was a catastrophe. But, but, got there. One thing I like, I remember, before we get to the trapdoor, right, is when Lupin's, like, on the other tower.

And he's got this gadget that he's going to use. He's trying to light it. And then it just all falls apart. And he just runs down and does crazy jumps very Mario-esque sort of crazy platform jumps from castle to castle and then climbs up the wall

I think he loves all that physicality he loves parkour I love that he's somewhat of a Bugs Bunny figure yes he is in that he's just like this little fucking stinker he's super chill but he's often kind of right at the edge of sanity or right right and it's like he's high status because he kind of remains unfazed yes but he's also usually in danger and not succeeding near death yes right and often things are going wrong right he just takes weird things out of his pockets his jacket's

full of firecrackers it It'll work out. Right. It'll be fine. But also the Bugs Bunny thing. Jacket full of firecrackers is an amazing thing. Amazing. The Bugs Bunny thing of like, sometimes Daffy's kind of an ally. Sure.

And sometimes he's totally an enemy. Right. Bugs constantly has a couple people on his tail and a couple people who their allegiances could shift. Right. And I was like, Lupin the Third is just like Bugs Bunny in a clean suit.

Good tank. And he lifts it. That's your way in. Yeah. It's a great way in. Yeah. And when they're running I just feel like the running feels so like Hanna-Barbera to move to a different cartoon world just because I'm trying to fucking build a bridge between the American cartoons that I loved in these movies that I've

always had a hard time getting into. But I just feel like when Lupin's like running away from shit, like flailing arms and legs and everything feels very like Scooby and Shaggy

running out of a castle. Well, also, yeah, and like, what's it called? Gigan being like, I've got this gigantic gun all of a sudden, right? Where he's like,

that'll deal with it. It's like an anti-tank gun. Yeah. You know, it's comical. And the stylization of gigan just like constantly like you never see the top half of his head right oh he has it uh like a right bent like it's always about to fall out it's mostly ash like all of that sort of like defying physics right yeah um But I guess so the inspector arrives at the same time

he gets put down a trap door. So they're both now down. And Lupin gets put down the trap door. And you know I love any story in which rivals have to work together.

They're forced. I fucking love it. To work together. Lupin goes down the trap door and he's basically just sort of like waits for the inspector to show up. He's like oh he's probably

in here. Yeah. He's sort of just tapping his watch. There's skeletons. Skeletons. Bunch of skeletons. Skeletons. He's like, oh, he's probably in here. Yeah. He's sort of just tapping his watch. There's skeletons. Skeletons? Bunch of skeletons. Skeletons?

Who have carved their own headstones and then died. Bunch of bones, man. I love that. Love that. What was the last good haunted castle movie?

Good question. It was a big question I kept asking myself watching this. That's a world we should be living in more. I just googled movies set in castles. Yeah.

Amazing how the internet always tries to rise the occasion for you, you know? Castlevania wasn't good, right? The TV show? I don't know. I just know there was a Castlevania thing. I think it wasn't that good. But, I mean, if they made a Castlevania movie, you could have a lot of fun with that. I mean, I'm into any castle property.

There's nothing. Right? I don any castle property. There's nothing. Right? I don't fucking know. There's nothing. We need more castle movies. I mean it's probably like Howl's Moving Castle is probably the last good movie with a castle. Yeah. Even like yeah we're not even getting those like English I mean Game of Thrones.

I guess that kind of sat on castle territory for a long time. You know what I mean? There is that show Castle, too. Is that about castles? Oh, that was the last great. Of course that was the last great castle. You know.

Nathan Fillion, the answer was in front of us all. Of course. Because I'm looking up these castle lists, and it's all like horror movies from the 60s. It's your Vincent Price type movies. Right. Pit and the Pendulum. Pit and the Pendulum. 13 movies from the 60s. You know, it's your Vincent Price type movies. Right. Pit in the Pendulum. Pit in the Pendulum.

13 Ghosts, the original, not the remake, which I believe does not sit in the list. There was that weird rush of Vincent Price remakes. Yeah, there's so many,

yeah, there's Mask of Red Death. House of Haunted Hill was a Vincent Price. Oh, you mean the remakes. Right, that's what I'm saying. The Keep is on this list. Vincent Price rolls. Yeah, he's cool.

Yeah. Dr. Pheeheebs you ever see that? No I've always wanted to Believe that's the movie that Kumail shows Zoe Kazan in The Big Sick It is As his like special movie And I saw Big Sick with my sister Ramli And when he said like Do you want to go back to my place and watch a horror movie

I just felt it in my bones And I said I bet you it's going to be a bomb to Dr. Pheebs And she was like what did you just say And then I it in my bones and I said, I bet you it's going to be a bomb to old Dr. Phillips. And she was like, what did you just say? And then I cut to the screen and I was like, I called and she was like, nothing you're saying matters. Shut up. Quiet. I'm watching a film. Why do you feel proud of yourself right now?

Hey David, I have a question about the movie. Can you explain the counterfeiting and the history of the money and stuff? Please explain while I eat another bagel piece. I couldn't really understand it. Or I kind of did, but I couldn't grasp it 100%.

I feel like you're the rulesman. What are you asking me? I don't understand. You guys don't get counterfeiting? Well, no. Why is there like a... It's been going on for 5,000 years. Why is this in their family history?

Well, I think the idea is it's like they're their own country. So no one can prosecute them because they are like themselves. They're diplomatic community. Right. And it's like the only people who could prosecute them would be like the police of Cagliostro who are owned by the family. Right. Like, you know, it's like, that's why interpol in in this movie is

like we can't do anything about it it's not you know it's not crossing borders so like it's not our problem but then it's implied what was that what's actually going on is that a lot of countries are buying the counterfeit money and so they want to keep it hush hush you know so they're in on the grift that is the answer i wanted i did not because there's that crazy scene where there's all the diplomats at interpol with like little flags on their lapels talking to each other yeah and the inspector's trying to be like this guy has like a printing press and he makes counterfeit money of like every country and they're like yeah but you know it's like you know who's gonna prosecute him and like i don't know and then

someone's like and also the the Soviet Union totally bought some. And the Soviet Union guy is like, these are Western lies. He's like mocking the Cold War and all that stuff. And then Lupin steals all their little flags, right? There's that moment where he makes the flower for the girl and he pulls all the flags. He's like a close-up magician. He's one of those for the girl that pulls all the flags. Yeah, yeah. He's like a close-up magician. He does. He's one of those. That's confidence.

That you flirt using close-up magic, that is high confidence. Can we talk about, I don't know if this is like, just like an obvious stand-up routine that everyone's doing now. Right. Dylan Butler, a buddy lives in Toronto. Okay. I saw him a couple months ago. And he was talking about how he was re-watching the X-Men cartoons.

Love them. Which I know you're a big fan of. And he was like, it is very sobering to re-engage with 90s X-Men as an adult. And realize that Gambit is the kind of guy you would move away from at a bar. Yeah, Gambit's a problem. That as a child, you're like, this is the apex of cool. And as an adult, you're like, he's constantly wearing a duster indoors he insists on doing magic tricks he does he calls all women like darlin and sweetie and like his eyes are red yeah no but i mean gambit

like a pickup artist yes he is but even at the time gambit was a person that only children thought was cool like even when gambit was introduced, I feel like older fans were like, this guy is corny. But kids were like, Gambit's cool! I want to be Gambit when I grow up. Yeah! And so X-Men were like, alright, more Gambit. And then people were like, no! And X-Men was like,

fine, less Gambit, less. I take my duster off, I hang up my playing cards. I should mention, Ben has been dressed like Gambit this entire episode. Ben keeps throwing playing cards at my head. He's got that weird, like, head sock on. Calling me mon ami. Right. Like, it just

covers the back of your neck. He's got a weird costume. Right, because he's got that. His ears poke through. His ears poke through and his hair pokes out. Right. His whole face is visible. It's his neck and the back of his head. But his face is like, he's got like a window for his face. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, it's very strange. New season of Wolverine podcast, he's going to make an appearance. Is that true? Yeah, because they're now, it was in Alaska, then they're going back to when he was in New Orleans. Yeah. Okay. He is a classic gentleman thief.

Gambit. He is. He's that architect. Do you know who is playing Gambit He is, he's that architect Do you know who is playing Gambit? Have you submitted yourself? No You could be Gambit Ben could sound like Gambit

Could he not? Sure, I mean I think Moshari Come on That was perfect He's not a pirate Perfect That was perfect

He just went Moshari Oh my god, you can do it too? I'm pretty sure that the Gambit... Moshari. What's this? Moshari. There should be a pirate X-Man.

There should. There's never been one. Cutthroat. Sounds good. That'd be a good name for an X-Man, right? I love it. A little intense, but I love it.

Yeah. Oh yes, X-Men never have intense names. There are A little intense, but I love it. Yeah. Oh, yes. X-Men never have intense names. They're characters whose hands are knives. Yeah, Warbird. Ugh. Love Warbird.

And Warpath as well, right? A lot of war X-Men. That's true. Warpath. He's Thunderbird's brother. Anyway, this has been another episode of X in the City.

Love it. Should have an X-Men podcast. David, do you realize if you just wanted to, every one of these things you say, you could just start your own little fucking, like, 17 podcasts. Like, you do your every level Mario. That's if things really start getting in trouble for me.

Then I'm like, okay, we're doing the every level Mario. Right. We're doing Donkey Kong Country 3. Yeah. We're doing an X-Men podcast. Why, is there another one? No, I mean, that's a good start. They make a pact down in the dungeon together.

They overpower the assassins together. They escape. Enemy of my enemy is my friend. There's a cool sequence with the frogmen. Yes. You know, where Lupin takes them down underwater and then, then like pulls the henchmen underneath. All these henchmen suits are so cool. Fucking wet crime in this is off the charts.

It's so good. Very good. Damn dungeon crime. Yes. This movie's got some DDC. It's got a moist a moist energy to it. Right. Throughout. It's got moist felonies. And they get in that whirly gig the auto gyro you know to start a whole like

distraction which I'm a neophyte but I immediately go well this is some Miyazaki shit the fact that they're in some crazy aerial vehicle I was like this is this is his thing and what was I gonna say

this is where like Lupin's almost gonna rescue her. He gets shot. Yeah. She trades the ring to save his life. She's like, marry me,

keep him alive. And then Fujiko fucks everything up so Lupin gets to escape. Yeah. But, you know, it basically means that we get to have the cool, awesome final set piece.

Right. Which is like them disrupting the wedding and the inspector It basically means that we get to have the cool, awesome final set piece, which is them disrupting the wedding, and the inspector using Lupin as a way in to investigate the counterfeiting, which is what he really cares about at this point. Which I love that. I love the whole Interpol thing. I love that whole weird subplot. I love that lupin is his ally in that in doing crimes he can investigate lupin adjacent crimes yes love all that but he always thinks i'm gonna

on top of it get lupin i'm not settling for lupin adjacent crimes right but you know and which which as i think you love too as we're talking about any movie about like a cop criminal relationship or whatever it's like thrill is the hunt. Yeah, the movie's going to end with Lupin getting away and the cop chasing him and being like, hey, I'll get you! And it's like the eternal... Right. Yes, right. He wouldn't know what to do with Lupin if he got him.

Lupin would just escape anyway. I imagine much like Wile E. Coyote in Roadrunner, he would eat him. Is there ever one where he just feasts on Roadrunner? there's the one where they kind of break there has to be there always is one right and they cut out from the short to two children watching it on tv uh-huh and they go like why is he so hung up on catching this guy anyway and wiley cody stops and it's the only one in which he speaks he's like oh i'm so sorry

this wasn't clear and he takes out like a screen and he explains the like tenderness of the meat in like a very like formal professorial right right direct addresses these two children watching their like right shitty tv screen right and he's like many hypothesize that the Roadrunner has the most succulent breast. That's really funny. It's great. It was one of the things that broke my brain when I was four. Like when they make Ultrazord. But you know

when you were a kid, you don't know things, and you would just watch Power Rangers every week, and then one week they made... I didn't because I wasn't allowed to watch. It's similar. One week they would make Ultrazord. In what? I don't't because I wasn't allowed to watch I'm just saying it's similar okay go along one week they would make Ultrazord like what power I don't know because I wasn't allowed to watch that and you were like what's this now because every week Power Rangers would end with them making Megazord right and Megazord would take out the sword and smash the villain and it would die and uh and then one week they do something different and you're like you

can do something different I just oh sure my, you can do something different? I just love that. Oh, sure. My thing was always talking about being so obsessed with the format and structure of things. Once that was cleanly established, any time they would break the format like that. Or like the Steve Martin episode of The Muppet Show where they're like, show's canceled,

and the whole episode's about them not putting on a show. Like anything like that. The Gethard Show where the whole episode was them preparing to do the Gethard show? That rules. Sounds really good. That's my kind of jam. There's an episode of Garfield and Friends where Garfield, like, in the opening is talking about his, like, antagonistic relationship with the mailman.

Sure. And the mailman's like, you know what? I quit. You win, Garfield. Right, right right you have broken me right you've broken my spirits i'm a shell of a man my wife doesn't even recognize me anymore you fucking win have fun sure and then the mailman just like walks off frame and garfield's like uh i'm sorry this is really embarrassing i don't know what the episode is now. And he walks off the set of Garfield and Friends

and into the animated back lot. And he has to like plead with the mailman to come back into the episode. Sounds good. Yeah, it won a Peabody. Did it? No. It won a Griffey though.

Ben's checking his phone. I was really obsessed with sending people to Abu Dhabi. That was like a thing for me. Because then there's also this Velvet Underground song off of White Light, White Heat. Where it's like a weird spoken word track where a guy mails himself to his girlfriend. Okay. Just something about the aesthetic of putting yourself in a box and then being mailed. That's literally the thing you like is prison puts himself in a box and ships himself to a foreign country.

I think that's very funny. Someone mailing themselves somewhere is always funny. That should be a new archetype. Yeah, the guy who mails himself. The mailer Damon? The what? Weird. The way you guys are talking about this,

it's like you should have responded with rapturous applause and recognition when Flat Stanley entered our studio two years ago and you guys were fucking nonplussed. He's never gotten over this. I think it was a year ago.

Maybe it was two years ago. Maybe it's been a while. The wedding. Talking about the ultimate male himself. The wedding is so great. Flat Stanley himself. The wedding is great.

The count is dressed like a freaking Satan worshiper. There's guys with swords. Right. all his henchmen and they got a plan which is they're gonna come up from a platform oh i love the fucking trap door i'm sorry just to move back sure i love the detail of the trap door being triggered by the bus that also takes the pictures of people as they're falling to embarrass them yes that there's this like, like, not only do we want to, like, assert our power over anyone who tries to invade our castle. Right.

But also we have to humiliate them and have, like, the spoils of the humiliation. Right. It's like a reverse Splash Mountain where it's like you had a miserable time and I'm going to hang the photo up on my wall forever. But I love that they rise up and pretend to be the spooky haunties yes of the murdered people from the trap doors in the past but of course the lupin is a robot because he's because lupin has disguised himself as the archbishop well he gets injured very poor very badly he's all bloodied he's all all bloodied. He's got bandages. He wakes up.

They're like, oh, our good friend Lupin III, he's gone. He doesn't remember anything. And then he's like talking to the dog. The dog responds. The tenderness of the dog moment I could tell is like, it's like so sweet. And I'm like, oh, this is going to be stuff that he does later. This is going to be some of his shit. And that's probably what the original Lupin the Snyder heads of

1977 are like. This is soft. Why is Lupin Lupin should be a badass. Why is he talking to a dog. My Lupin lives in the real world. And Miyazaki's got that humanistic

sort of thread running through it. But the dog and then mentioning the Princess Clarice by name triggers him and he suddenly remembers everything. What day is it? What time is it? I have to go catch. I can't let them get married. There's also that flashback of her saving his life when he was younger and he tried

to rob Cagliostro and all that. But he knows her. She's nice. I believe he was a greenhorn at the time. Yeah, a bit of a greenhorn. Ah, yes. And of course, you know, this is, it's personal for him

because it's not like he has anything personally to gain from this theft. He wants her to have her own freedom. He wants her to live her own life. He also thinks that Count's a clown. Count's a clown. Wants to clown him. Yeah. Right? Yeah that Count's a clown. Count's a clown. Wants to clown him.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. It wasn't clear that it was like he's going to marry her kind of thing. Right?

But she's too young for him. Right. Which he knows. And then they deal with it in a great way and it was like it wasn't dealt upon so I just kind of went there

because I think naturally you assume. Yeah, sure. But it was handled so well. It is handled well. Yes. The whole wedding thing is just great. The whole, the fireworks, like you say,

them pretending to be ghosts. Mummy ghost rubbit. You think that he's taking the bandages from his injury and disguising himself when in fact he has somehow procured a rubbit, put his clothes and bandages on it, and then put on the most complex

fucking like you know Peter Sellers-esque full embodiment of a character as a befuddled priest yes

with a big mustache and beard who's terrified of ghosts and goblins right and he's like you're cursed this is it this is terrible

he's given a good performance he is he won the Oscar yeah they were very clear Lupin the third one. Lupin as the Archbishop in the Castle of Cagliostro.

And then you've got this amazing sequence on a clock tower. Have they ever done that? Have they ever nominated a fictional character for best performance? No, they have not. Deadpool even? Well, no.

No. All right. But can I say something? How crazy would it be if Deadpool hosted Saturday Night Live? No. Too weird.

No, but like, do you know what I'm saying? Like in the middle of a sketch, it's like, excuse me, doctor. And he's like, um, yes, I'm definitely your doctor.

And he turns to the camera and he's like, no, I'm Deadpool. What if Deadpool was the musical act two and he just pointed to, I don't know, other Deadpools or something? You know what's weird? That is crazy. And when he was doing it, he'd be like, another one. I'm doing the DJ Khaled thing.

Do you guys know what's weird? He would tell you what he was doing. Do you guys know what's weird? What? Disney owns Deadpool. Disney owns Deadpool. The Walt Disney Corporation. Disney owns guys know what's weird? Like he would tell you what he was doing. Do you guys know what's weird? What? Disney owns Deadpool. Disney owns Deadpool. The Walt Disney Corporation. Disney owns Deadpool.

That's cool. Yeah. And you know who knows it? Deadpool. That's right. Deadpool was the first to comment on it. He was the first.

It's true. And suddenly we've hit a wall. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Deadpool. Yep, thanks for doing that. The Clock Tower sequence, which Clements and Mosker... We've hit a wall. Sorry, I didn't mean to bring up Deadpool. Thanks for doing that. The Clock Tower sequence, which Clements and Mosker... He knows he was acquired by Disney. I know, of course he does.

Clements and Mosker... Great Mouse Detective. Pay homage to this clock showdown in the Great Mouse Detective. Which is also like the first real CGI set piece in an animated film. Have you ever seen Great Mouse Detective, Ben? I have not. Fuck, Ben would like that movie. Maybe we should do Clements and Musker.

Radigan? Radigan is cool. He does fuck. Disney was like in their like weird dark period where nothing was working and they were like, fuck, we've gone through most of those fairy tales. What should we do?

And they were like, what if we do our version of Sherlock Holmes and it's all mice? Cool. And it's like Victorian, like fucking British mice. Fun. And Vincent Price in one of his final performances plays Radigan, who's

one of the best villains ever. Who I believe Fran Hoffner has, on the record, said was her first crush. Yes. Radigan. I mean, he's thick. He is. He is very thick. Radigan thick. But yes, I mean, this is incredible. I love it.

This is also very like Chaplin-esque. It's Chaplin-esque, but it has that like sort of like that little dark edge to it. And like that shot where he cuts to like a super wide and you just see the two hands of the clock go like that to snip him. Like it's so like gross without being gross. It's just a little perfect. Yeah, and there's stuff. I mean, this is the big thing that people always cite,

that Japan for a very long time has understood that animation is an art form and not a genre. Sure. And us dumb Americans tend to ghettoize as, oh, they are children's films. Exclusively. And every year

when they do the fucking animated category at the Oscars, they almost always describe it as like, and they say these movies are for children. I hate that. With this level of crafts, it's not just kids play. You know, they always say bullshit like that.

But this is a movie where you're like, this thing's got stakes. It's about criminals. There's violence. There's guns. He bleeds a bunch. He does. There are direct sexual references,

not even double entendres. Fucking rules. Yeah. It's great.res. Fucking rules. Yeah. It's great. It's exquisite. Yeah. Lupin does give the Count the treasure. Gives him the two rings, finally.

Because they've put together at this point, while trying to... Because there's that whole poppy business with the fake ring, which we never talked about, which is a tiny little bird that talks to him inside of it. Blows up in his face.

Little blows up in his face. They really do like to prank each other. You're right. Like the photos. Yeah. The things exploding. And it turns out... But they've realized the code

that put the rings together based off the seal. But it turns out that the treasure is actually just... No one knows what the treasure is until this point. Yes, right. And it turns out it's actually this crazy ancient Roman town that was built underneath the castle that Cagliostro has built over. But it wasn't this like crazy ancient Roman town that was like built underneath the castle that Cagliostro's like built over.

But it wasn't built under the castle. It was like. It was there. Fall of Rome. Right. Flooded and they were like, let's just build a castle on top of this. Right. We know the flood's coming.

And Lupin's like, too big a treasure for my pockets. Some Atlantis adjacent. Right. It's great. And then they get in cars and drive around. And he's just like look you gotta live your life you've been up in a castle

all these years you're just starting to figure out who you are you're not gonna come with me to scumbag territory right I love that she's like I can learn

I know I'm not a good thief yet I can learn right and he's like you I'm like the first real person you've dealt with yeah yeah yeah you gotta go out there

and get a larger sample size you gotta figure out who you really are. Right. I'm not gonna take advantage of you because I am a gentleman thief. He is a gentleman thief.

And we love him. And then the inspector has this weird exchange where he's like, I just missed him. And she's like, don't worry, he didn't steal anything

this time. Right. And he's like, how dare you say that? He stole something very valuable. Your heart. Good line. Yeah. And she's charmed by it. Right. And he's like, how dare you say that? He stole something very valuable. Your heart. Good line. Yeah. And she's charmed by

it. Right. And then they pursue each other in tiny little cars. It's a wild, another little wild little car. And they're going to have adventures forever. Right. And it's great. The movie came out and it did okay. Okay. A final thought. I just want to also point out, I loved the music. Yeah. It was so throwback-y, but man,

it was comforting. Eugene Ono, he's not yet working with Joe Musashi the guy who's like this guy. And also did we say that the henchmen or whatever the cops from Cagli Cagliostro they look like

wet like thugs. They look like wet thugs. Yeah. I just want to see because I feel like soggy crooks yeah soggy crooks right

soggy goons I should say yeah that's better I'm trying to see anything about how it did in Japan but I it grossed

yeah it didn't do very well it's okay it grossed 600 million yen which is like 7 and a half million dollars like this would be viewed as a minor entry in a venerable franchise, if not for the fact that it was the film debut of...

But it's special, and it's influential. Right. I mean, Spielberg supposedly saw it in the early 80s, and supposedly references it in Tintin. I think, yes. I feel like this is very much on a similar track with Indiana Jones. Like, he likes the chase sequences.

He likes all that sort of adventure spirit. Tintin feels very, very Lupin the Third. He does, in a way. Lupin's more of a jerk. But it's similar, sort of like... No, but the tone of the movie overall feels very similar. Yeah.

And then, of course, Lonzo Huckabee himself sees this movie, it blows his fucking mind. Gary Trousdale, who directed Atlantis Lost Empire, said that the scene of the waters receding to show the city, as you said. Yeah, I had to say it.

Had to say it. For the box office game, the only thing I could think of is that it was re-released in 2017. It was re-released in 2017? Let's do that weekend. I should have seen it. September 8th, 2017.

Wow. Number one in the movie is a movie about a killer clown. Oh, I know exactly what film this is. It's about a killer clown? Yeah. I didn't realize the Donald Trump biopic came out that weekend. That's right. The orange monster himself. Yeah. I didn't realize the Donald Trump biopic came out that week.

That's right. The orange monster himself. Yes. Orange-haired monster who terrorizes children. Yeah. I think that film's called Trump. Where is this film set? The White House?

Man, Trump is so good for comedy. I can tell you what the theme song for that movie was Hail to the Chief just like I just want to do that all day where you make the most obvious thing but it's just true what they said

every comedian is loving that he's president we're all dining out he's so fun to mock we never run out of really funny for it all he's very nuanced that's the other thing

aren't you on a show about Trump yeah I am which hopefully hasn't also been cancelled by this one yeah come on I think that show's doing well

I actually think that show is better than most at the very difficult Trump set I think that show is genuinely very good what ever happened to the Anthony and Tamnick show

Comedy Central just sort of like oh I don't know maybe it's coming back at some point I thought it was coming back and then it never did. Yeah, they kind of did one of those.

I think they let them do a special and maybe it'll just be. They let them do a couple specials and they were like, it's not canceled. We're like exploring opportunities on our schedule. We've done this weekend because guess what was number two that weekend? It was a new entry. Came in behind It. No. So It made 158.

Detroit? Nope. But, you know, right by. In that territory. I mean, not. Dunkirk? No, right by. In that territory. I mean, not. Dunkirk? No, although Dunkirk is number eight. Think nightmarish comedy about people hanging out in the house and chilling and having fun,

learning some life lessons. This is a hard one. Nice boy. We've covered it on the show. Yeah. It's a hard one. Nice boy. We've covered it on the show. Yeah. It's a nightmarish comedy. No one in the movie is real or exists. Like actor-wise or character-wise?

Character-wise. Does it have famous people in it? Totally. Nightmare people. I mean, but I'm being satirical. No, I know, but I'm like, okay, so it's a movie we hate. No, I kind of like it Really Should I give him the ultimate clue

Ultimate clue Yeah We're going home again baby Oh boy We gotta cover her movie when it comes out right we're going home again baby oh boy we gotta cover her movie when it comes out right yeah her Keaton movie I emailed like five alarm like all of my reps and I was like can I

please like I want nothing more than to be in a Hallie Meyerscheier Michael Keaton comedy and weirdly I guess, I don't know, all of their replies have just been going to

spam. They must have written back to me. My career is thriving. Hey baby, you got blank check all the way to the top. Blank check millions. I'll be able to retire on the city we have hidden underneath our recording studio. You know,

that's our secret. Patreon money's gotta go somewhere. Our matching rings. Um, yeah, right. Uh, number three is a movie that doesn't exist.

We've talked about it in the home again episode when we played this box office game. It's a comedy. What is a show? Shut up. We're going over the home again box office weekend. Shut up. Be quiet.

It's a comedy that doesn't exist. From 2017. Sort of action comedy. It's about a job job. It's about a job job. It's like he's got a job job. He has a job. Yeah, it's like his job is protecting a guy with a job.

Oh, Hitman's Bodyguard. You know, it's one of those job job movies. Yeah, the Hitman's Bodyguard. Aren't they putting out a new thing? Yeah, it's the Hitman's Bodyguard's wife. It's a wife job job. It's a, the Hitman's Bodyguard. Aren't they putting out a new thing? Yeah, it's the Hitman's Bodyguard's wife. It's a wife job job. It's a wife job. Number four is a horror prequel.

You know what the fourth one's going to be? What? A Batman's Hitman's Bodyguard. Sure. Superhero Job Job Wife. Are titles just going to be that in the future? They're just like jargon that doesn't make sense? No, we're going to get into the Abbotton Solitary. A Very Merry Harold and Kumar, Bad Moms, Hitman's Bodyguard be that, the future. There's just like jargon that doesn't make sense. No, it's good. Yeah, we're gonna get into the Abbotton Solitary.

A very merry Harold and Kumar, bad moms, hit mans, bodyguards, wife's Christmas. Yeah, that's sort of like, it'll be like Batman meets bad moms Easter. What if you take out all the bridge words? You take out the bridge words. You don't even do like meets.

Batman, despicable me, dark tower. Minions. Yeah. You're right. It, bridesma Me, Dark Tower. Minions. Yeah. You're right. It, Bridesmaids, James Bond. Steve Carell emoji girls trip. Yeah, that's what his name is. You're right.

What's that one? Steve Carell plays an emoji who goes on the fourth girls trip, and it's set in, you know, Buenos Aires. Chris Pratt, Madagascar, Rocky III. It was sponsored by Sonos Beam. I don't know. That's what it would actually be. It would be like, yeah, like Creed VI, Sonos Beam, ESPN,

Spider-Man Homecoming III, right? Like, I don't, right? Anyway, number four in the box office was annabelle creation which does fit annabelle creation where it's like yeah okay let's do a prequel origin story explaining a spinoff of the doll from the conjuring movie right it's like we already had an annabelle movie but where what's what's her like what's her deal right what's up with annabelle right let's get to the creation i mean my favorite one of these i've i've said it before but that there are uh uh there is a prequel to the scorpion king yeah right which is the prequel to the mummy returns to a spinoff

right prequel to a spinoff toff that was a spinoff of a sequel to an original of a remake. Yeah. Anyway, number five is Wind River. I don't know. I'm not giving you a call. It's so weird. That movie did so well.

Did great. It's such an off-putting movie. It is. It came out right when the Weinstein Company was collapsing. And it did like 35 domestic? It did 35 domestic. It is at its core.

Kind of an August thriller. Yeah, it's like an airplane novel with a bit of a cool Western sheen. So it's for dads. I think it's a gross movie with three really good elements. I do too, but I think it's a gross movie

that could not be gross with some easy fixes. I agree. That's just how it's a gross movie that could not be gross with some easy fixes. I agree. Shootout's good. Action's very good. John Bernthal's great in it. Yeah, I'm sure. Never let Renner go full cowboy. Yeah, definitely not. Howl's Moving

Podcastle is crushing. So it looks like you won. Great. And tension is diffused. There was tension? Yeah. The audience has not dropped a single breath since the episode started. We've got an exciting Miyazaki times ahead. What's up next week?

Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Great. I've never seen that one, obviously. No, I had tickets to go see Fathom event screening Tuesday with our friend Ramona, and I canceled due to... Due to poopage? Diarrhea. Poopery.

Poopery. That's what I like to say. General Poopery. Yeah, that's the name of my franchise I'm starting. What if that's my new character? Your new Poopery franchise? General Poopery. That could be a good sort of transmedia,

multi-platform comedy character with franchise potential. Put it on the slate. Yeah, fine. Putting General Potpourri on this. General Potpourri. Either one. Both of them. Both of them.

General Potpourri meets Major Potpourri. They've got to match up. They do Potpourri Orangins, and then Potpourri makes Night Eggs or whatever. Well, cinema's a graveyard. But the castle of Cagney Ostro was great. And Miyazaki, we're going to have a great time. Miyazaki's still working.

I know. He's got a new movie coming out. I know. This is his fifth un-retirement. Is that right? Correct. This is exciting. I'm really into this miniseries.

This is a whole new zone. And I like being able to discover this many movies for the first time. I'm very encouraged by how much I like this. Sure. Trying to get over a lot of my weird hang-ups. Yeah. We'll probably talk about them more in other episodes. Maybe.

That I think are just about how much of an animation nerd I was and how comfortable and committed I became to American animation styles. Let's say also we will be, for the first time, I want to announce that we are officially accepting fan art. There's obviously been a draconian fan art ban on this podcast. People want to draw pictures of us. And the gates are open.

Although someone made a fridge magnet of me. That was crazy. Did you see that? It was like sculptural. It was like a 3D, hot David, a laD, three-dimensional. Hot David, a la Joe Bowen. Yeah.

Cartoon David. Which is, of course, a fully accurate representation of what I look like. Yes. Dead on. Green button down and all. You've only become hotter

than that representation. But let's say the gates are up. The band is lifted. Right. We want Miyazaki fan art. Right. I want to see Ben as Lupin the third.

Hell yeah. Ben's dragon. Yeah. Right. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yes. Yeah.

I'm going on. So I'm Lupin. Yeah. I'm definitely going on because I'm like, like, come on guys. Yeah. Jesus.

Let's take this seriously. Right. And you're like, wow. And I have a big gun and I'm smoking. Right. And the inspector is whoever is supposed to record after us at the audio boom studios.

Right. Exactly. These guys. And they're just like, why are there bagel crumbs everywhere? Been waiting here for five hours. In the eternal words of David Sims, I got to pee.

So let's wrap this up. Well, please. You think that's impressive? Oh boy. Wait till you hear what my butt's been doing for the last four days. Thank you all for listening. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe.

Thanks to Andrew for our social media, Joe Bone and Pat Reynolds for our artwork. Remember to send us all your Miyazaki two friends and Ben drawings. On Twitter, or you can email us at blankcheckpodcasts at gmail.com. Go to Reddit, blankies.reddit at blankcheckpodcasts at gmail.com Go to reddit! blankies.reddit.com. Go to TeePublic! Get some nerdy merch! Go to TeePublic! Get some shirts! That'd be cool too

if we had a really good Miyazaki drawing. Maybe we'd do that. Maybe we'd sell a shirt that was us in the style of Miyazaki. You know what I'm saying? That'd be cool. Maybe that's for sale right now. Maybe this is the encouragement for someone to now put pen to paper and start that. Or, I don't know, stylus to tablet. Remember how I had to be?

Yeah. So, in conclusion. Tune in next week for Nosca Valley of the Wind. Yep. And as always. Finish my bangle here. Valley of the Wind. And as always... I'm going to pick up the bagel. David, you can go to... No, no, no, no, no.

Episode's not over yet. Episode's not over yet. David, episode's not over yet. This is the last episode. This is the end as always, but the episode's not over yet. You can't eat that whole bagel. Why did I say that? Now that's what he wants to do.

Yeah, that's the challenge now. I think I can. All right, I'm going. You have no power over me.