Blank Check with Griffin & David - The Clone Wars Animated Series with Jonathan Braylock - Revenge Of The Podcast

Episode Date: November 7, 2015

Jonathan Braylock (Black Men Can’t Jump (In Hollywood) podcast) joins Griffin and David on this week’s episode to cover the entirety of the 2003-2005 animated television shorts Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Set during the three year gap between films Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith, the Genndy Tartakovsky directed series is a unanimous hit. Together they discuss all three seasons in extreme detail including: the numerous extended fight scenes, pre-cough General Grievous, C3PO’s comic relief, how-to make a lightsaber and very much more! Also, reading fan’s iTunes reviews, the recent Jar Jar theory scandal and Producer Ben’s character spotlight.

Let's get ready for an animated discussion. An animated... Oh, my God. Discussion. I gotta never let you start these things. But then you always look to me when... No, I always look to you because it's hilarious. And this time, too, for the first time,

Producer Ben, a.k.a. Purdueer Ben, a.k.a. the Ben Ducer, a.k.a. the Poet Laureate, a.k.a. the Haas, a.k.a. Mr. Positive, a.k.a. the Peeper, a.k.a. the Ben Ducer, a.k.a. the Poet Laureate, a.k.a. the Haas, a.k.a. Mr. Positive, a.k.a. the Peeper, a.k.a. I like the Peeper. We all like the Peeper. Peeper plays. A.k.a. Hello Fennel, Ben Hosley himself,

played our theme music. I know, it was weird. As we started recording. And then he said he would fade it out, and then he just abruptly cut it off. He just turned it off. No one needs to know that, David. Shit. You're a shoddy producer,

Ben. I'm calling you out. Fuck you. Once again, Ben is red with rage. Yeah, it's like I'm trying to do something nice and you're going to give me shit about it? Fuck you. You'll never get in the theme song playing again. Ever again. Thank you, Ben. You're welcome. Our guest is laughing. Our guest is having a great time.

I'm very excited about our guest today. He has been one of our earliest and most vocal supporters of the show. I mean, you know, genius. Game recognized game. Game recognized game. He messaged me like three weeks into, I think, us doing the show and was like,

the thing I hate about the show is that I didn't have the idea for it. It was just like, hats off. Or people should talk about the Phantom Menace. Yep. He himself is a comedian and an actor and a podcast host of what is my favorite podcast right now. I will officially say that.

Tweet about it a lot. I fucking love it. It's called Black Man Can't Jump in Hollywood. His name is Jonathan Braylock. Hello. Thank you so much for being here. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for being on the show.

Thank you guys for having me. And you brought a concept with you for this week's episode too. I would say. Okay, that's awesome. Yes, I did. I guess I did. I kind of like, I was like, hey, did you guys watch the animated cartoons and you had? You're entering as an advocate. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, totally. But yeah, while we were planning out the season, I was trying to load in more guests from the get-go, and I reached out to you, and you said, are you going to talk about the cartoon show? And we were like, we were thinking about it. If you're passionate about that, do you want us to save that as an episode?

Yes. I've been waiting all season for this. And just a sidebar quickly, I believe that anyone who likes this podcast should already be listening to Black Men Can't Jump in Hollywood. Oh, thank you. I think they are similar sensibilities in terms of the level

of analysis and obsession. And then just unprofessional tangents. It's a similar vibe in how we address movies and how our sexual piccadillos come out from the corner. That is true. That is true. Yeah, but it's you

and Jerome Mulligan and James III. Don't try to That is true. Yeah. But it's you and Gerard Mulligan and James III. Don't try to figure out how to spell that. If it's numbers or numerals or spell that. Yeah, we still don't know. Me and Gerard are still trying to figure it out.

No one knows. But it's a great podcast and I recommend it highly. It's my favorite show. Yeah. Yeah. We've had some awesome guests on it too.

You had to fucking Keegan-Michael Key. We had Keegan-Michael Key. It was pretty cool. That's insanity. Yeah. We should have Keegan-Michael Key. Yeah, we got Pisc That's insanity. We should have Keegan-Michael Key.

We got Piscopo's book for next week. We got Joe Piscopo. What if Joe Piscopo was on the show? It'd be great. I ain't never seen a Star Wars, but Sinatra once told me. It's all just him telling stories about how much Sinatra liked his Sinatra impression. That's the biggest sketch comedian

we could get was Joe Piscopo. We went for one of the greats is he alive he was at SNL 40 yeah he's alive he died the day after SNL 40 honestly I wouldn't be shocked

he was holding on just to make it to the 40th anniversary okay but we are talking about something very important today for the last six weeks

this is episode seven of I can't believe it's been that long I can't believe we're not done with this. I feel like I've been thinking about this movie for forever. It's definitely stretching out the longest.

Do you not agree? Yes. I said we were going to get on to it, but I actually realized we do have a little more housekeeping to do. Oh, yeah. You want me to read your reviews? Yeah. Let's say that quickly. Rate, review, subscribe on iTunes as always.

I was a little angry because I told everyone to stop rating because we were at 42. And I told them to stop to not listen to you because that's crazy. We need as many ratings as possible. Well, I'm angry that everyone took David's side rather than mine. Yeah, you lost that battle. I lost that battle hard. In fact, I just realized I never rated the show, so I just gave

us five stars. How many ratings do we have now? Wait, can I, just a little sidebar here about how hard it is to rate on iTunes. It's so hard. It's so annoying. I mean, everything on iTunes. It's so hard. It is mind-blowing that this is where podcasts originated from and still mostly are listened to.

I know. It's the worst program in the world. It's the worst. iTunes, please feature us on your main page. Yeah, of course. John, you're- We did get featured once, which was awesome. After the Key episode, right?

Yeah, that is awesome. We're still gunning for that. But still, I mean, the rating thing, people have been like, how do I rate? And I'm like, I don't know. Honestly, I don't know when I rate if it actually logs in or not. It never seems to register. It doesn't seem to register. Because I'm always trying to rate my own

5 stars. And anytime I'm on someone else's computer, I'm like, let me borrow that for a second. Because I'm like, oh, different account. Yeah, exactly. And then I don't see the numbers. It doesn't come up. It doesn't go up. I also, like, I do know how to do it.

I mean, I didn't know, but I just found out. But there's one thing. I can't upload a video to YouTube. Have you ever done that? I've never uploaded a video to YouTube. That's actually very easy. One of the easiest things to do. No, I'm not saying it's hard.

I've just never done it. I've never had calls. Oh, okay. No, no, okay. Anyway, let's get out of here. Wait, no, no. There's a review I want to read. hard. I've just never done it. I've never had calls. Oh, okay. No, no, okay. Anyway, let's get out of here. Wait, no, no. There's a review I want to read. I'm going to read it.

Do you know which one I'm talking about? Well, it's got to be from Dancehall Maniac. I think so. I think so. I mean, I want to read these. Okay. I looked at reviews last night. There were a couple new entries.

There's a couple, because the last one was the stop eating on Mike. It's disgusting. Are you by most recent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys still only have one star. Yeah, it's that guy. Everything else is the most recent? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys still only have one one-star. Yeah, it's that guy. Everything else is the five-star. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everything else is five-star, We don't know if it's the Master or the Apprentice in the Sith dynamic yet, but it's one of the two. So we're only going to get two one-star ratings. Did your one-star leave a review or they just left the one-star? And they said stop eating on mic, it's disgusting.

Oh, so they did leave a review. Yeah, that's the review. We got a one-star rating, but they didn't leave a review. Oh, fuck. Bullshit. Yeah. It was probably peel. He was angry. That did leave a review. Yeah, that's the review. We got a one-star rating, but they didn't leave a review. Oh, fuck. Bullshit. Yeah. It was probably Peele.

He was angry. That son of a bitch. That you picked favorites. All right, sorry. Okay, okay. Okay, so I think there's actually been a lot of fun little reviews, so I want to read out a few of them. Sure.

Review Spotlight. Here we go. Okay. Someone called Bill3462 said could use more discussion of Kit Fisto, in my humble opinion. That was on October 15th, so I hope you're happy, buddy. That guy's over the moon right now. That's Chris Gethard. Bill3460, what a cryptic name.

He made up a script name. Chris Gethard and his Kit Fisto campaign. I didn't say this last week, but when I was texting with Chris to get him to do the show, because we've been trying to get him on since Phantom, the scheduling was always weird. And when we finally locked down a date, he was like, wait, before I agree to do this, it's cool if I talk about Kit Fisto, right? Wait, did he really? Yeah, it was a conditional.

He was like, I really have a lot to say about Kit Fisto. Can I also, I feel like Kit Fisto is black. Like, I know he's a green, like, squid-like swimming alien, but I feel like he's... He's definitely got that vibe. Yeah. I mean, so... Honestly, when we found out last week

that the actor was basically a Jason Statham lookalike, I think we were all a little surprised because I think we all might have secretly been, like, thinking, like, it's probably a black guy, right? Yeah, it's a black... He just has a swagger to him. And is it the hair? Like, he's got the long, sort of, you know, dreadlocks.

Yeah, maybe it is. That's true. I would say maybe I think he was mixed. That he was like Nautilus and black. Anyway. But important thing I realized after the fact, because we were like, the fact that we all gave like Kit Fisto most improved,

that we loved the performance so much, we felt he carried the movie. Which is absurd, by the way. Braylock, there's no room for your negativity here. This is a very positive show. We're produced by Mr. Positive himself, Ben Hodgson. That's true. Ben loves the Star Wars trilogy. Loves them. He's very positive.

It's my favorite thing. Glad we spent months on it. Do you know that Kit Fisto was played by a different actor in Revenge of the Sith and Attack of the Clones? Is that true? We were just talking about his Revenge of the Sith performance. I know. Yeah. And we liked him in Clones. Is that true? Because we were just talking about his Revenge of the Sith performance. I know. Yeah. And we liked him in Clones

but a lot more in Sith. Well, in Clones he has the big smile. No, I said I liked him better in Clones. It's on the record last week. Okay, well, I like the Sith actor better. In Clones he has the big smile. In Clones he has the moment

where he pushes the droids over and he flashes that big smile and you're like, wait, who's this guy? He's having fun. In Revenge of the Sith, he doesn't put up a fight. Stabbed in the heart

Braylock we have no time for this we have no time for this I'm gonna read these reviews then we're gonna get to our actual thing Pancake Amidala says great username

great username says enjoyable but could use more pillars which is pretty funny really funny because I talk about those pillars a lot really really funny

Avery Edison who's a Twitter friend of mine Twitter friend of yours great person really funny. Avery Edison, who's a Twitter friend of mine, Twitter friend of yours, great person, says the only reason I can think of for my not having written a review

is that I've been too busy listening to it over and over. She's really just nice. This isn't a funny review. Thank you, Avery. That's very sweet. Avery's great. Avery also just recently

started a podcast, which I haven't listened to yet, but I downloaded. I haven't listened to it either, but I have also downloaded it. We will both probably plug it next week once yet, but I downloaded. I haven't listened to it either, but I have also downloaded it. We will both probably plug it next week. I am too hot on this thing, The Message. Have you guys listened to this? No. Anyway, I'll tell you about it

off mic. Really, it's a cool new podcast. I don't need to plug it. It's like a totally huge hit, but it's just actually good. It freaked me out last night. Scary. Final piece of housekeeping? One more review. Well, Dance Hall Maniac says, Hot takes on the new sci-fi sans music opera.

Hope your Hollywood-Bollywood connections can find out if there's an episode four. Don't know what that means. That's the ramblings of a madman. So there you go. I don't know. Do we have Bollywood connections? I have no idea what that means. Also, why would Bollywood know about Disney's acquisition? Well, let's think.

I mean, a Bollywood Star Wars movie would probably be pretty crazy. I mean, of course. It would be good. Disney's a pretty global company. Yeah. Who knows? Who knows? Moving on.

Final piece of housekeeping before we get on to our subject today. I know what you want to talk about. This is a big announcement. Breaking news. Breaking news. This is breaking news for me. This is literally hot off the presses. I'm really excited.

If the presses are emails from two hours ago. Yep. This is episode seven of Revenge of the Podcast. That's right. The third and final film in George Lucas's- Sad but true. Star Wars saga. His opus.

Phantom Menace trilogy. Yeah. We really want to blow it out because we're ending this thing. It's going to end- The podcast is not ending but the star wars discussion is we've had this this trilogy of star wars miniseries and that's done there no more star wars movies left so we're gonna move on come december to some new projects which which we will announce uh later yeah but we really want to send off star wars with a bang

because who knows if we'll ever cover three movies in this such great depth ever again. Yeah. Yeah. So I am proud to announce that November 23rd. Mark your calendars. Is it November 23rd? It is. Yes.

It is. Monday, November 23rd at Union Hall. Time not yet set. Sure. We will be doing a live Griffin and David present Revenge of the Podcast finale. It's the 22nd, Griffin. It's the 22nd? No, it's the 23rd.

Thank you. Don't confuse our listeners. 23rd. November 23rd. Monday, November 23rd. Union Hall. That sounds super exciting. Union Hall in Brooklyn.

It's going to be unbelievable. Union Fifth Avenue. We might have huge special guests. Yeah. Ooh. We'll have at least one special Yeah. Ooh. But we're gonna if you have at least one special guest.

If you're a fan of the show you should come to that. Tickets will be on sale by the time this is posted. Yeah. More details to follow but just mark your fucking calendars.

Do it. November 23rd Gryffindor present Revenge of the Podcast live. We're blowing it out. I'm excited. Come sit with us

as we watch Revenge of the Sith for the last time ever. We will be for the last time ever. We will never watch it ever again. Maybe once I have children. No, why? It's a tough decision to make, but I'd rather they see it with me than

with some, you know, some bad kids. You know what's a thing that I would love to show my children? Jendi Taratovsky's Clone Wars animated micro series. Star Wars colon The Clone Wars. Star Wars colon The Clone Wars. That is our subject today, now that we've gotten an hour of housekeeping out of the way. Boom.

And that's what you're here to talk about with us. Yes, I'm so excited to talk about this. And this is different than, because there's like two other Clone Wars animated series. There's actually, there's a movie too, right? There's a movie too. Yes. Not Lucas direct. No, it's like.

No. So let me, let me just do a little table dressing of what happened here. Yeah. Let's dress this table. Yeah. 2002 Attack the Clones comes out. Yes. Right.

2003, the following year, Cartoon Network releases Star Wars colon The Clone Wars. Yes. Right. 2003, the following year, Cartoon Network releases Star Wars, colon, The Clone Wars. Ah, yes. Which is a series of 10 three-minute episodes. Yes. Directed by my favorite, Jendi Tartatovsky, creator of Texture's Lab and Samurai Jack. But also, also, the Hotel Transylvania franchise. Yeah, we've talked about it quite a lot. Of course.

Did you see Hotel Transylvania 3 got greenlit? But he's not directing it. I was going to ask you if he's going to be on board. Sounds like no. Very iffy on the future of that franchise. He wasn't a fan of 2, right? He didn't like the process of making it. But 2's making some money.

It's making the bucks. Which I think he's going to use. He's got to do something else. He has an original project in the works at Sony, which is hopefully going to get greenlit. I love Dexter's Laboratory. Dexter's Lab was huge for me. Huge as a kid. Amazing.

Laboratory. Laboratory. D.D.! Sorry. He's honestly one of my favorite content creators in the world. He's creating that right content. And Samurai Jack is special. He's really special. And that had come right before this? Yes. Because this does seem to share a lot

with that series. That debuts come right before this? Yes. Because this does seem to share a lot with that series. That debuts 2001. Lucas is a fan. He goes, okay, I'm making these two movies. Of course, logically,

I'm going to keep the Clone Wars entirely off screen. Yeah, of course. I want someone to flesh it out. Let's not see that. Let's not see that.

Let's see. Did you, all right, did you know? The Clone Wars that have to be the wars in the Star Wars, right? That's what the wars is. But you don't show the wars.

No. Oh god. No, don't show them. He says outsource it. Thankfully he outsourced it to one of the finest living filmmakers. Yeah, to the guy who made Samurai Jack. I think Samurai Jack was what drew Locus. Yes, and he said do Star Wars in your style. I want something like Samurai Jack for this.

So it was a series of 10 three-minute episodes that would air. They'd premiere each one during the summer on their Friday night block. Before the new episode of Powerpuff Girls, they'd be like, and here's the new. Yeah, it would be.

And there were two seasons. There were two seasons of this. There were two three-minute seasons. So it was 2003, 10 three-minute episodes. 2004, 10 three-minute episodes. And then 2005. Leading up to Revenge of the Sith's release. It was five 12-minute episodes.

Yeah, 15 minutes, something like that. I want to just make something clear, though. Tartatovsky explained that he got this gig because Lucasfilm was worried that the action figures from the recent Star Wars movies were not selling as well as expected. That was the impetus for George Lucas deciding to do this. I think he thought, like, the kids aren't noticing this show. I mean, these movies.

They're not buying the toys. Let's get it on the Cartoon Network. I got a big merchandise spotlight coming up. I'm sure you do. I also want to note that as a child, my favorite number was 67 because that was the number of the Cartoon Network on my cable box, which I watched every single day. I feel like it was 22 for me. I feel like it was like uptown, downtown.

What can I say? Final season comes out before Revenge of the Sith. Yep. Revenge of the Sith comes out three years later in 2008. George Lucas had self-produced a full CGI animated Clone Wars 22-minute season. Yeah. 22 episode, 22 minutes. It was that much later.

Yeah, three years later. Wow. What the hell? Because he produced a bunch at once. He self-produced it once again independently and then sold them to Cartoon Network. He liked the way it was turning out, so he had them edit the first four episodes of that series into a movie and release that in theater. Wait, that wasn't even... It was not designed as a movie.

It wasn't designed as a movie? No. It was just the first four episodes? It's just the first four episodes. I've never seen it. I've never seen it. It's fucking garbage. So I watched it also it. I've never seen it. It's fucking garbage. So I watched it also this week in preparation for this.

Oh, wow. Because I think there's a really interesting contrast between these two things. And then, of course, four months after that, or not even, maybe a month or two after the movie comes out, the full season starts, minus four episodes, because they've released them theatrically. That show ran for, I think, 120 episodes. Wow. I've been slowly making-

121 episodes. 121 episodes. So, isn't it weird how popular Star Wars is? It's very strange. Because it's not good. Not very good. The trilogy is not good. But, John, you also-

But we have done like 30 episodes about it. People love it. You're right. You're absolutely right. Here we are. I agree. I don't know what draws me to it. Well, you grew up loving these films.

Yeah, I did. But I guess it makes more sense. Yeah, we were kind of kids still. Oh, we were kids. Yeah. So it makes sense. The Phantom Menace is a kid's movie. Yeah, it's a kid's movie.

Yeah, because I want to talk about this Jar Jar thing that's been going around. Have you read this final Jar Jar thing? Final piece of housekeeping. Holy shit. We need to talk about this. 80 people have tweeted this thing. I started reading it. I didn't read the full thing.

No, because I couldn't. Horseshit. You have no idea how many tweets and texts David and I have received in the last week. God. Because people are like, and I was talking with my roommate about this last night, and he was saying, the biggest argument against this idea, apart from all the other arguments,

is the idea that George Lucas would ever insert a subtle character arc into any of these movies. Well, no, of course not. If Jar Jar was evil, he would look right at the camera and give it an evil glance in every movie. No. And then say, Ha!

You want to talk about that Jar Jar thing? This is my three-part answer to the entire Jar Jar thing. So I guess the brief idea is like he's basically, he's so clumsy, it's almost an athletic

kind of clumsy. It's a disguise. Right. The clumsiness is a disguise. He's a Sith Lord too. He was force trained. Right. He was causing all this

damage on purpose. And like, they reference like, when he like on purpose and like they reference like when he like falls down and has that gun like attached to his leg and he just like accidentally shoots everything he's like you can't do that by accident that's what the movie did though

the movie's whole fucking idea is he does everything by accident he's a buffoon you know what the explanation for that being like man that couldn't happen on accident is not oh he was secretly evil it was oh this is a poorly made film that's the, man, that couldn't happen on accident, is not, oh, he was secretly evil. It was, oh, this is a poorly made film. That's the explanation for why that couldn't happen. But that's, yeah, just a test to how much people want Star Wars to be good.

Here's my three-part answer to everyone who has been asking me about this theory. Part one, yes, I have read the Jar Jar Threat. Correct, me too, on Reddit and on Wired and on whatever else fucking wrote about it. Part two, it's mad dumb. It's real, real stupid. Dumb as shit. It's real, real stupid. Fan theories suck.

Yep. Part three, I do genuinely appreciate and am touched by the number of people who read a stupid Star Wars thing and immediately had to turn to me for comment. Like, the amount of messages I've gotten. Griffin, what do you think? What do you think? From, like, friends, from listeners of the show. I am touched by the fact that when you read stupid Star Wars bullshit, David and I are

the first two people you think of. Yeah. But this theory is stupid, and we don't approve of it. Agreed. But thank you, yes, for your tweets and kindness. Thanks for thinking of us. I do appreciate it. The Clone Wars runs for runs for like six seasons

yeah but we're not even no no no but but um the point is the main reason he decided to do that full series was because of how popular and beloved this jandy tartovsky mini series right yeah that's why right it paved the way i think each season won an emmy yes that's correct like the first online show to win an Emmy because these episodes would go up online as well as on Cartoon Network. Yeah, I watched it online. And it was loved.

Seasons one and two won for animated program in 2004. That's awesome. And season three won in 2005. Yeah. They're the same category. So we, for this episode today, watched, when they were released on DVD, seasons one and two were one volume, season three was one volume. And they edited each of those volumes together into like-

Yeah, it's like a two hour, 15 minute super cut of everything. It's like a movie. It's a movie. I would even say it holds together as a movie better than the Clone Wars movie. It's definitively the best Star Wars movie. No question. I would agree. Of the four Star Wars movies we've seen, five because I also watched the Clone Wars movie. It is so far

What happens in that one? Well, you know what's funny? Because it was four episodes of a TV show, something different happens every 22 minutes. Does it end in any exciting way? But is there an arc or some sort of There are mini arcs. There are 22 minute arcs.

Jesus Christ. An hour into the movie. The movie's I think an hour and a half. Yeah. Like 50 minutes in they establish the major plot line because that was supposed to be episode three that was a two-parter.

Right. So like one plot line carries over from episode three to episode four. I can't believe they released that in theater. Yeah. And then it made like 40 or 50 million dollars. Get can't believe they released that in theater. Yeah. And then it made like 40 or 50 million dollars. Get out of here.

It made some money. Yeah. It wasn't a big hit. Yeah, I think it made 30 or 40. Which, considering the amount it cost to do

four episodes of a TV show was successful. And then they, I have been trying to make my way. Worldwide, 68 million dollars. Yeah, that's bananas.

It probably cost five million dollars. Yeah. Wow. He also announced. It probably cost $5 million. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. He also announced. He also has this horrid animation style that I really don't like. Yeah, that's what I don't like about it.

Well, it's a weird CG butchering of Tartakovsky's character design. Right, it's got these lines to it, but on CG it makes no sense. All the beards look kind of like they're made of plastic. I don't like it at all. They're very angular. Yeah, it looks kind of like they're made of plastic. I don't like it at all. They're very angular. Yeah, it looks kind of like toys. You know what I really felt like watching it? It reminded me a lot of Thunderbirds.

Yeah, sure. They move really organically, too. They look like marionette puppets. Right, and when they fight, they're kind of like, it is sort of puppet-like. Before we get hate mail, I am very aware that the show gets better as it goes on. I've heard this from many people. I've been trying to make my way through it. Screw those people. Whatever, man.

Screw you. You're really watching 120 episodes? Screw you. Very slowly. I watched a bunch of lightsabers fights on YouTube once from that show. Just a bunch of them. Are they good on that show? No, they're shitty. I thought they sucked. Let's get on to something positive

because I'm so excited that for the first time in this show's history. We have a great thing to talk about. We have a great thing to talk about. I really loved this and it got me instantly. One minute was all I needed. It's so good. Okay, immediate disclaimer. I just need to throw this out. I did have a slightly difficult time watching this, so you just keep

this in mind while I talk about it. I had a very difficult time watching it because I kept on ejaculating onto my TV. My TV was drenched in cum because this is the best fucking thing I've ever seen. I love this thing so fucking much. It actually functions as a movie

even though it's not supposed to. Even though it wasn't designed that way. It's a little wonky in parts. You can tell when they cut out. There are rhythms at times where it's like, oh, this is clearly supposed to be the end of a short. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very clearly, because there's little cliffhangers. But better than

I would have thought. I thought we were going to have real, like, the thing where it's almost like there's a cliffhanger, and then we open back up and see the action again for a second before we get to the new scene, you know what I mean? No. Each episode is kind of its own self-contained thing. There is a sort of larger arc, but each episode is like a different focus within this war. And each one just functions as its own like perfect little set piece.

Right. So first thing I want to say about this is that it actually makes me like the clones. Oh, me too. Yeah. I like the clones now. I like the clones. Oh, me too. Yeah.

I like the clones now. And it establishes the relationship with the Jedi in a much clearer and more believable way than the movies. Well, I just want to put a little structure on this. There's a lot of clones in this movie. A lot of clones. A lot of clones. There was an episode, maybe two, with the clones are the main characters. Oh, yes. I want to put a little structure onto this.

I have just the episode descriptions. I want to go through little structure onto this. I have just the episode descriptions. I want to go through them one by one. Not that we're going to dwell on them each but just to cover the basic plot things. Okay.

So we can go through this series narratively as it happens because they are kind of standalone. So the first episode is just like setting the stage.

But God is it well done. Yeah, Yoda gives us like 10 seconds of preamble. That's the only appropriate response. It's just immediately you're like, yeah.

It's like, this is what that scrawl should have been. What's with this weird... Or this is what all three movies should have been. What if this was the first movie? Can you imagine if this was the first movie? That is where it should have began.

What if the first movie was 20 minutes of finding young Anakin at a pod race, and then you jumped to this? Forget everything else. Here's my stronger argument. What were you going to say, Brad? Why do you even need the pod? Like, here's the thing.

I'm with you guys. I actually like the pod race. I do. You like our podcast. I like your podcast. I like your podcast, and I like the pod race. Very cool. That being our podcast. I like your podcast. I like your podcast and I like the Padres. Very cool. That being said,

it's one of those things, it's the same thing for like the beginning, that first battle scene in Revenge of the Sith, like the rescue. The video game scene. You know that scene

was 23 minutes long? Yeah. 23 minutes. That's insane. It really has nothing to do with the rest of the movie. That's the length

of a full episode of the CGI Clone Wars. It's so long. There's nothing to do with the rest of the movie. That's the length of a full episode of the CGI Clone Wars show. It's so long. There's all that business with the elevator. Yeah, it's so much unnecessary. And it's like, yeah, this is cool, but this has nothing to do with your movie. That's what the Padres. Well, I agree with that.

It's just better. It's so well done. It's so well done that I excuse it. If everything in the movie was that fun. If you just want to, you need to plant that seed that Anakin was this kid plucked out, kind of, you know,

then fine. I'm just saying. Because Anakin in this, let's go. I would make this episode two. That's what I would do. Sure. Because this is the one

that actually shows Anakin's arc of how he becomes a Jedi. In a fleshed out way, I would argue. This is him, like, coming to terms with all of what's inside. Can I say something

even though it's jumping ahead? Anakin has 10 times better chemistry with Amidala in this thing than he does in real life. So this is not jumping ahead. Episode 1

so you see Yoda gives like the sort of speech everyone's preparing for battle. Begun the Clone Wars. Yeah. Yeah. It spreads across the galaxy like a wildfire

or something. It's just like... You see all the ships preparing for battle, and then there's this beautiful shot where the smoke clears, and Anakin's on a landing strip. Yeah. He throws off his cape, and he gets into his little speeder, and he's got a droid on his back.

And then he looks out the window of his speeder, and there's Padme standing at the balcony. Looking good. Looking great. Real good. Looking real good. Let's just say that she's looking real. That animated character is looking real good.

I'm with it. Yeah. And they like share this look that says more than any dialogue between the two of them in three films has. Absolutely. More than their. Yeah. Their entire relationship. Yeah.

That because their love is a secret, she can't be out there saying goodbye, that she has to do it from a distance, that she's afraid, afraid not only for him, but a little of him, what will become of him, put into this sort of circumstance.

His sort of stoicism, his steely focus, his obsessive, slightly frightening determination yeah a little little arrogance yeah a little that cocky bravado because he's got a slightly unemotional response that you can see a tinge of it this is all done with like a matter of lines like this is very simple clean character design it's not super detailed no it's very like line oriented very line oriented it looks like like-oriented. It looks like classic Japanese ink paintings almost.

It's amazing. And it's also, because I've talked so much about what I like about Hotel Transylvania on this podcast, this is stylistically at a totally polar end of the spectrum here, opposite end, without getting too much into like animation nerdery but hotel transylvania is him pushing everything and making everything as like overly animated and it's all like blobs and sort of pushing and expanding and squashing and all of that and this falls into what is like you know basically called limited animation right and that it's like a focus on strong poses right and. And there's not a lot of in between.

They move from one strong pose to another pose. It's not fluid necessarily. It's sort of like a kendo or whatever. It's like, right. Which Samurai Jack did too. But it puts for something like this that is action based, that's about like people existing in space and time around each other. And it's very fantastical like elements of what Star Wars is.

Jedi's being these magical beings. It's almost a problem because the Jedi's are so powerful in this cartoon. We should talk about that a little bit. They get shot in the knee and they die. But I think a lot of that too

is the animation style is because he uses the limited animation, which I do not use in a derogatory term, in a very like conscious stylistic way so that they just move from one strong pose into another. And you're like, God, these guys are fucking warriors because they don't misstep by a hair. To be fair to the animated series, that's how the Jedis are talked about. Yeah, it's how it's supposed to be. Like people keep saying like, oh my God, the Jedis are here about yeah it's not supposed to be like people keep saying like oh my god

the Jedis are here it's like it's just a man like it's how they sometimes are except when conveniently they aren't yeah to service something like an arm getting chopped off or

getting shot in the back so episode one is mostly have me say goodbye to Obi-Wan literally catches laser beams in his hand in this show that's all I just that was why I really I I was like, come on.

There's some cool shit with it. Episode two is the one that's like all clone troopers. So it opens up and it's just clone troopers. And you're just watching how war exists in this galaxy. And how they function. The toll of it. You know, yeah. It's like waves of people being thrown at this.

I mean, this is like almost entirely silent this episode. Yeah. Which is great. That's another thing this thing has. Hand gestures. Not much talking. Yeah.

It's a lot of like signals for where to go. It's like there's this one sort of like commander clone trooper with red. It's not Commander Cody because he comes in later.

Yeah. But he's like the arc commander. Yeah. And he's got like red lines on his armor and it's him leading like a whole squadron. Right. And there's a lot of silence where they're just like standing. Yeah. And he's got like red lines on his armor. Yeah. And it's him leading like a whole squadron.

Right. And there's a lot of silence where they're just like standing in a corridor and then he's giving hand gestures. Yeah. And then you'll hear like, and then like a ball droid comes in. Like he uses silence really well. He uses space really well. Yeah.

It's interesting too because I would say they simultaneously make the droids fearsome. Mm-hmm. They do. They're more scary. Which they're not in any of the Star Wars movies. It helps that they're often in like, wait, there's so many of them. Yeah, there's so many of them. But they also show why the clone troopers, why they are so much more powerful than the droids.

Because they're just so much smarter. Yeah. They're smarter without having to make the droids just dumb. Yeah, no, you just see the, yeah, of course. Well, and that it's the humanity that helps them. They're tactical. That the droids are just following programming. Right.

And the clone troopers can, like, adapt to their surroundings. Yeah, and Georgie Porgy is always saying, like, well, don't focus on the dialogue. These are meant to be silent films. It's like, then fucking do what Tartakovsky is doing. Now, I want to point out, Tartakovsky is credited as director on every one of these episodes. This is his baby. Right.

George Lucas is also credited as writer on the whole series. I think that he just gave him a very rough outline. Yeah. I think he said, hey, if you're doing a short format, because there's so little dialogue, and the beats of it feel so Tartakovsky. Wikipedia just says he didn't write it. He created it.

I know why. He gets a creator credit. It makes sense why he got a writing credit, though, because it very much leaves off from where the second movie does and picks up almost exactly where the... Yeah. He gave a sort of, I'm sure he gave a broad arc

he wanted it. Yeah, to follow. So, the writers credited on Wikipedia are Brian Andrews, Derek, Bachman,

Paul Rudish, and Jenny Tartofsky. Hey, Griffin, how you doing? I'm doing well. I got the episodes mixed up. Episode three is the one that's all clone troopers.

Episode two is the one Obi-Wan's troopers are shot down. Oh, it's Obi-Wan fighting with them. Look, these things all flow into each other. But this does. Episode two, just to flip back, has this amazing moment where you see all the clone troopers coming in. Yeah. And one of them's wearing a robe.

And you're like, what's up with this guy? Oh, right. Yeah, yeah. No, it's Obi-Wan. And then the robots are coming in and shooting. And then you see a helmet fly off. And you're like, oh, did that guy get decapitated? No, turn around.

It's Obi-Wan in fucking clone armor. Yeah. He looks good. They call him General Kenobi. Yeah. He's leading the squad. And for the first time, you're like, oh, Obi-Wan rules. Yeah, I know.

It's sort of sad that he doesn't get to rule so much. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the broad structure of the show is we kind of have an Obi-Wan planet and mission and there's an Anakin thing and there's this Windu thing.

So Anakin's in the sky. Yeah. And he's still a Padawan. He's still got his braid. Still a Padawan.

And he's leading the like, I guess the air attack. Oh, yeah. It's cool. And we're seeing him be like the craziest pilot ever.

That's the pilot, the amazing pilot that people keep talking about. They talk about it all the time. And then we see, I guess, for a brief moment in episode three. Hit the center eye or stuff like that. And then that's it. Yeah. I feel like there's going to be a lot of repetition this episode.

But like this series shows us every single thing we needed to actually buy the things that the other three movies do. Yeah, I wish I'd seen it before I saw episode three. I did, and it made episode three better. Yeah, like it even retroactively makes all of them better in my mind. It really does. And all that shit where we like would look up a Wikipedia entry and be like, why isn't that in the movie? This like so effortlessly with like 30 seconds of silent movement.

Yeah, it does it quickly. Yeah. Episode four we have to talk about. Chapter 4, as they're called. Chapter 4, Kit Fisto. Yes! It's right off the bat, and it's Kit Fisto with a big smile.

The first three episodes, we're just dealing with our main heroes. Who's the first guy we're taking off the bench? Fisto. It's on Mon Calamari. I think we talked about it with Chris. He goes underwater. He rips off his clothes. Rips them on Mon Calamari. I think we talked about it with Chris. He goes underwater. He rips off his clothes. Rips them off. With a big grin. Shirtless.

Dives in the water. You guys liked that? Yeah. Oh yeah. What? That's so lame. You're lame. Wait, you like this series and you don't like the Kit Fisto episode? Kit Fisto's lame. Oh fuck you. Whoa. Shots fired. I'm calling it out. Okay. If you think about Aquaman, he's the worst character.

Why do I want to see a fight in the sea? I like Aquaman. Kit Fisto has a lightsaber. Yeah, Kit Fisto's got tentacles. That's bullshit. Underwater. I want to see space fighting. I want to see some fucking...

So did you like the pilot stuff, though? Like the weird loop-de-loops and all that cool shit? Of course. Yeah, that stuff's cool. If I'm watching Star Wars I want to see some space fighting. I don't want to see some underwater bullshit. So you just hate water? Yeah. I don't know.

Do you like swimming Ben? I actually love swimming. Yeah me too. Did you like the snorks? What are snorks? They were like the smurfs but they were underwater. It was like a Hanna-Barbera No. No. I haven't seen it but I'm going to say no. Okay, Ben,

I think this is a good time to do a little sidebar. What's up? Last week, you were shit-talking Kit Fisto at the end of the episode when David and Getha were talking about stupid basketball.

Yes, I recall. And you said that you thought he was stupid and you said, I think I can make up a better character than Kit Fisto and I said,

I challenge you and you today have prepared several characters. You told me that, not just one, Ben's character spotlight these are producer Ben's original Star Wars characters that he's gonna present for us right now not better than Kit Fisto out of the park okay here we go um where to start anywhere literally anywhere for a second I thought you named a Jedi where to to start? I would believe that.

Where to start? Okay. First character. His name is Bat-Peki. Okay. Okay, Bat-Peki. All right. Bat-Peki. It's from the cave planet called Kraygon.

I hate this already. I don't know. I'm not a wizard. I like cave planet. Guys, he's a Batman. Why? Okay, go on. Sonar hearing.

Well, you're really against him. Braylock hates Bat-Peki. Why? Okay, go on. Sonar hearing. Well, you're really against him. Braylock hates Batman. Why? He can fly around. Yeah, because he's like a bat. I get it. He's got white skin. His parents are dead.

All right, so he's just Batman. No. It's just the villain Batman from Batman. You mean Man-Bat. Man-Bat. You're talking about Man-Bat. I'm talking about Man-Bat. I'm talking about Man-Bat. So this sounds like Man-Bat with Batman's backstory.

I want to point something out to you, Griffin, by the way. It's chapter five is Kid Fisto. Chapter four... You're off. You're off episode duty. I'm on Wikipedia. Well, fuck you. Is this from Man-Bat?

I'm on Wookieepedia, the definitive source. Okay. Chapter four is the one with that weird robot who's made of muscles. These are flips in my thing, but whatever. We'll talk about this one. Well, these are very important one. Ben's character spotlight. Everybody cares about. Alright, second we got Alogashu.

That's a pretty good name. Yeah, I actually like that. Alright, he's a fucking huge Jedi. Tired of this small bullshit. I like that. Alright. You know, what's his species? Oh, he's big! He's a big Jedi. I'm tired of these

small Jedis. Attached to him is a quaddo-like conjoined twin named Frank. So, like, from Total Recall, he's got, like, a tumor baby in his chest. Big guy is all brawn, little dude smart. His name's Dink? What's his name? Frank. Frank.

Frank. Okay. Aloe gashu. Frank. Frank. Okay. Aloe gashu? Aloe gashu. Can he do any cool things? He's huge. Because Kit Fisto can swim and he can breathe underwater. He can smell emotions.

He can throw force bubbles that can blow ships up. Kit Fisto, in episode four or five, depending on what source you're going off of makes a force bubble. A force bubble. And then throws at him and blows shit up. I don't know. He claps and the

it's like really loud. And then like knocks people away. So Alugashu has an unformed twin coming off of his body Who speaks in the bigger one's ear

It's like clap really loud now Can he reach the ear? Where is he located? I think he's like on the shoulder So he literally just whispers in the ear He does all the talking Okay Alugashu And you have one more?

Yes Darth Stupid Idiot And he's a fucking jerk And you have one more? Yes. Darth's stupid idiot. And he's a fucking jerk. He's always wet and tired. He's always wet and tired? Why is he wet? I don't know. It's just kind of like, I was thinking of the coughing thing. Yeah, like Grievous' coughing.

Can't wait to talk about that. We're going to talk about Grievous. He's always tired. And he has a lightsaber that's a prolapsed anus. With that, I feel like we need to return. Yeah, we have to return. I think that was pretty solid. Yeah, that's pretty solid.

I got to say too, when Ben said that he prepared characters before he started recording, I said, I bet one of these is going to named darth bullshit i was pretty close yeah you were darth bullshit and darth stupid idiot aren't aren't too far away from each other the essence of it is exactly the same okay let's let's not be sticklers for the order because it seems like different sites are putting different order but let's go through i just like my wikipedia order right okay i've got it chapter four is the one with dirge okay dirge rolls so wait dirge is the bad guy that's... Yeah, he's like made of muscles.

Made of weird stuff. Yeah, made of like tentacle muscles. So great bad guy though. Oh, yeah. At first he's just blue armor. He's got sort of like this Roman kind of armor. You don't see his face. There are these slits for the eyes, but they're dark.

When they introduce him... And he's got this like lance. Yeah. Yeah. But like Duke who... Oh, he looks almost like sort of like a black knight from, like, a medieval, like, fantasy. And he's got this army of lesser knights with him, yeah.

Totally faceless mask. He's got a huge chest. Yeah. And, like, he is kind of, to Ben's size specifications for this total, he's huge. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. Dooku orders him. And he's like, I know who we need to get to find this Anakin kid.

Oh, because very early on. No, he's on the planet with Sandhill. His introduction is great. I love it. Because Sandhill. Yeah, they're just like, what are you going to do? He's like, me, me, me, me. And he just chokes Sandhill.

And he's like, I'm sorry I said anything. And Sandhill looks great in this thing. Yeah, Sandhill's the sort of, whatever. It doesn't matter. It is important to mention. People know who he is or they don't. It is important to mention the. Most people don't. Yeah. Sandhill's the sort of whatever, it doesn't matter. It is important to mention People know who he is or they don't. It is important to mention Most people don't, and that's fine. The one thing we forgot to mention about the

first chapter is there is a scene with Palpatine where he's like really showing a focus on Anakin. Like they lay those seeds very well. Yes. Where he's just like, I think Anakin should certainly be fighting alongside the war. Yes. Okay, so Sandhill She thinks that Anakin should be leading his own battalion.

Yes. And so when he doesn't, that's the first time you see Anakin be like, ugh, like, I don't like the council. And there's the moment where, like... Yeah, yeah. Awesome. Durge comes in.

He's got this blue armor. He's got a lance. A lance. He's going around fucking... They all have lances. This whole episode is just... It's just that they're on, like, speed armor, he's got a lance. A lance! They all have lances! This whole episode is just introducing turds. They're on like speeders and they have lances. And they just blow.

I'm gonna keep us moving. I feel like we should spend about a minute on each of these or else we're gonna lose our minds. And then yeah, after that is Kit Fisto just being a badass. Squid people, lobster people, making forest bubbles underwater, shirtless. Completely insane. Dude is cut. What I like about it, I want to say, is there's no explanation.

Who are the calamari? Who are the enemies? It doesn't matter. We get it. It's all very visual. It's a part of the war. It's a part of all the other systems that they're talking about. You're just like, oh, here are the good guys, here are the bad guys.

I don't know what's going on. It's crazy. Guess what, George? We don't need explanation for these things. If you're making crazy space battles, show don't tell. And don't show just a little scene at the end of the movie with like 20 second clips of like Jedi just being randomly killed. And you're like, who are these people?

I've never seen them once before. I've seen them once in a room where they were sitting down. Sitting in a toilet chair. It's very true. Can you at least show, if you at least did that earlier. Give us one reason I like this guy. Where they did something courageous and then show them he killed, I would be like, oh man. With it, 100%.

Oh my God. All right, sorry. So fucking good. Chapter six is actually what hooked me in the most, which is the gladiator battle with Asajj Ventress. Okay. Where Duke is just watching some monsters fight. Oh my God, this one's so good.

And then he's like, oh, I know you're there. And she like appears out of nowhere. But it's so much better than the arena battle in Clones. Oh God, yeah. Because it's like a cave and it's like these people are like, have been captured and are now like slaves and they're all chained up to giant boulders. Yeah, like monsters. And it's these terrifying looking people, like not Jedis.

No. Like just, it looks like civilians. No, but I'm saying the humans. Weird aliens, not the humans, but like the people who are having to defend their lives are like chained to rocks.

They all look scared. They don't have lightsabers or anything crazy like that. And then like huge giant beasts are coming out and just ripping them to shreds. Yeah. And Dooku's watching

and he's like loving it. He's having a ball. And then he's just casually is like, great job getting in here, but I'm not looking for a spy. The camera pans out. Like it backs up. Because you don't see who he's talking to. You see him looking and he goes, nice entrance. And then you just see a cloaked figure, red eyes coming from underneath in the darkness.

Like all shadow. And he's like. Yeah, I'm not looking for a spy. So she just jumps into the battle and kills all the monsters. And he's like, not bad. Throws off her robe. Does she have the lightsabers yet? She has two lightsabers.

Two lightsabers. Blue and green. But they're like shitty. She like took them from someone else. Blue and green. She's like a skinny white lady. And I mean, she's literally like white as a ghost. She's white with like markings.

Yes. And aliens. And she's got like wraps all over herself. But she's like very svelte. And she's got these long arms. And then like white pupil-less eyes. Yeah. And she's got like wraps all over herself. But she's like very svelte. And she's got these long arms and then like white pupil-less eyes. Yeah. And she's got two lightsabers and she just destroys everything. Yeah.

And he's like, you got a lot of what it takes to be a Sith. No, he's just like very impressive. And she's like, well, skills come natural because I'm a Sith. She says, I'm a Sith. And he's like, almost. Chapter seven is him being like, yeah, right. You're not a Sith. And he kicks her ass. Because he's like, you. Chapter seven is him being like, yeah, right, you're not a Sith. And he kicks her ass.

Because he's like, you got some fear. Yeah. You got a lot of the central tenets of being a Sith. Oh, he zaps her. Yeah, because he just zaps her. And then she goes unconscious. Yeah. He like zaps the shit out of her.

Then he wakes her up in a new room, fights her with a lightsaber, defeats her. And then Darth Sidious' hologram shows up and he's like, what do you think? Very, very good. Saber defeats her and then Darth Sidious' hologram shows up and he's like, what do you think? Very, very good. And once again, that one interaction establishes the relationship between

Dooku and Sidious better than anything in the movies. Because it's like, Dooku, even though he's an old dude, is like, so, huh, pretty good what I found here. And it's like, oh, he really, even though it's impressive, we only see Dooku as this man of power in the films. He's pretty powerful in these in this show, though. Oh, no.

But what I'm saying is what I like in that moment is you see him deferring to another person. Yeah. And how desperately he wants to impress Sidious, which makes Sidious look all that more powerful because you're like, oh, fucking Dooku is acting like, hey, teacher, I got you an apple here. Look, look what I got. Also, Sidious is like, it doesn't matter.

We're either going to kill Anakin because she's sent to kill Anakin. We're either going to kill him or we're not. Which makes Sidious look more badass. The power dynamics between the characters in these episodes are so well established. But even what Dooku says to her, like, there's too much fear. There's too much fear. you're not using your anger properly he says a couple of things that I was just like oh he was explaining

what makes Sith different than Jedi which like happens like very very lightly it's just a little bit and she also goes like I hate the Jedi they are arrogant and I forget what the second word she says is they're ancient order they need to be wiped out like old and creaky and

yeah she says arrogant yeah yeah arrogant the first time i get why the sith hate the jedi that's not just about wanting to control these guys make the rules why do they get to make it's so true though be like i was watching that scene again from revenge of the sith where where city is where um palpatine is talking to Anakin and I was like, you know, he has a couple of points here. He has a couple of points here that actually make sense. It would be so interesting to see a movie

that explored we think of the Jedi as they're just good. They're the ultimate good. But when somebody actually is like, are they? You're like, you know what? I actually don't know. Who made you the boss? Who did make you make you boss why do you get to say that you get to control power like why does mace windu be like you know what we're just gonna have to take control of the senate it's like whoa whoa whoa dude like why do you get to say that and also it's true oh 100%

true and also we have commented in the past most of the jedis come off as dicks yeah just on like a interpersonal level. I agree with you except less so in this because Obi-Wan's actually the hero of this thing. And he's a genuine hero for the show. Why this series is amazing because it simultaneously retroactively justifies why the Sith hate the Jedi, why the Jedi came off as dicks in the movie, and why the Jedi are still worth respecting because you see what they can be at their best. Exactly.

So episode eight is just Obi-Wan fighting. It's called layers. Obi-Wan fighting Durge, and he like chops him up, but he's not dead. Okay, so they have a- It's a very cool fight. Awesome battle.

On these bikes, yeah. There's an amazing moment where like- It's very medieval. They're kind of basically like charging at each other on these bikes with these lances. Yeah. Yeah. And Obi-Wan's lance is like his lightsaber.

There's this amazing moment, and it's another beautiful use of like economy of movement and like silence. They use a lot of silence in this thing where you'll just hear the creaking of a ship or a blaster or something and there'll be the silence which like that's another thing I want to point out. There are a couple moments across the series that gave me like chills where I even got a little spooked because I'm like war is scary.

Yeah. The intensity of this thing it's not trying to be violent or overwhelming, but the silence of waiting and anticipating where the attack's going to come from is really well depicted. Especially for one character. Oh my God. There's a moment,

I don't know if it's in this episode or the first introductory Durge episode, where Durge appears and then they cut to a close up of one of Dirge's eyes which is just like a black slit in his helmet

and they hold on it for a while and it's so scary because you're like there's just nothing there. Like you just don't know what this thing is.

They're charging at each other. Obi-Wan like gets like a master stroke and stabs him right in the chest with the lightsaber. Yeah, and he just... Cut to a wide shot. And it's just the two of them standing there still. And you're like, okay, they've established a visual language here.

That's what the finishing blow looks like. Lightsaber in the chest. Finishing blow. Done. And then Durge just backs away. Takes the lightsaber out of his chest. And it's like, oh, no, you can't. Doesn't he start laughing? Yeah.

He just starts laughing. Yeah. I think he doesn't even take it out yet. I think he starts laughing. He cuts the silence with laughter. He just starts laughing first, and then it's kind of... I think he throws a couple of punches before he even takes it out. Yes.

Yes, you're correct. It's amazing. And in the Asajj Ventress battle scene there's like a part where a big beast is coming at her and she throws her two lightsabers out

he runs past her and then they just stand still and then the guy falls over. Yeah he does that he repeats that which is great.

So he's like fucking with our expectations here and he's like Durge is about to fall over and then wide shot

stillness laughter punches you can't stop this fucking thing. I know it's just there are 25 chapters. I know, I know. Chapter 9 is...

Cuts him up, cuts him up, and then he leaves, and then you see the thing coming back together. He comes back together. And then in chapter 9, they fight more. And he finally does destroy it. And then he's bloated.

He's like this weird, huge, weird freaking... He looks like something from The Thing. He's all these tendrils coming out. And Obi-Wan climbs inside his body and blows him up. He envelops Obi-Wan. He gets sucked inside the body. He's like all tentacles in a suit of armor.

This guy rules. He's the best character I've ever seen. The clones are kind of putting up a fight too, but they're not winning and then he just blows him up. Like Will Smith in Men in Black. It does leave a little bit of a, like he sort of, you see his remains slithering again.

So maybe he'll come back. He doesn't come back here, but I guess they wanted to just. Leave the door open to an awesome character. Durge rules. Durge rules. Chapter 10. There's a space battle.

Oh yeah, that's Anakin's big space. This is the finale of the season. And it's where Anakin is chasing Ventress in the sky, in the space. That's not a joy. She's got this weird ship with a fin. It's hard to hit. And he makes chase

even though Obi-Wan's like, don't do it, you're still the apprentice, you can't be going off fucking space hunting., you know. Yeah. That's what he says. I still don't like Anakin at this point. No, but I.

They animate him. He looks like an asshole. Because he still looks like Hayden Christensen. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, I was thinking about it. Different actors, we should know. The only actor who's the same is Anthony Daniels. Yes.

Yeah. He still looks like Hayden Christensen. And I feel like all these actors, they're all great, all the voice actors. Yeah, they did a very good job. But they're still trying to do what the movie characters are. And so if Hayden wasn't so bad in Attack of the Clones, I feel like these cartoons could have been even better. I'm still not with Anakin.

I agree with you. I will say two quick things to that. Okay. One, whether or not you like what his assignment was, the dude playing Anakin does an unbelievable Hayden Christensen impression. Yes, he does. Yeah, the Ewan McGregor one's a little more like of an impressionistic thing. Like, he doesn't really quite sound like him, but he's just got the same vibe. The Anakin one is more exact.

It's Hayden with better line readings. He gets the tone of the voice right, and they're better line readings. He just one-ups Hayden at his own game. The second thing I'd say is I think at this point in the series, you're not supposed to like Anakin. This is the point of the series where he's reckless and arrogant and isn't listening to anyone. And I think this show does a good job of eventually giving him an arc where he does kind of it does but i think at this point there's a reason he's also supposed to be a hero though

right but they're also not focusing on him that much he does all this crazy stuff he like drives in and out and blows ships up from the inside it still would have been nice to see him like save somebody like see him save someone so that I can at least be like okay there is something in him that's good like when Padme is like there's still good in him I'm like I personally I've never seen good in Anakin season 3 alright we're gonna get there anyway

chapter 11 is more of the same and that's where he so chapter 10 is like the big space battle yes chapter 11 is him following Ventress you don't know if he catches Ventress or not. They come back a year later. I'm saying. So chapter 12, I know I was just, chapter 12 is one of the craziest. Oh, let's just

throw out one thing about him finally defeating Ventress in 11. No, he doesn't defeat her, he catches her. He catches her. No, he just continues to follow her. Gotcha, gotcha. No, he hasn't even gotten close to defeating her. Chapter 12 is the weird Mace Windu thing. So good. With the crazy spaceship that makes earthquakes. It's a stomp

guy. And the little boy is watching a battle basically unfold. It's like a little farm boy. And he sees off in the distance a bunch of droids. Dantooine. Yes. Dantooine. Dantooine is the planet. Not Tatooine. Dantooine. And this ship, it just has a

stomper. It's like a stamp. It's nuts. And it makes these really scary tidal waves of sand. But it's also just crushing loads of clones. Everything. And it's just like a quake in its wake. And Mace Windu comes up. He's got a couple pieces of clone armor on him.

He's got shoulder pads and wrist gauntlets. And this dude just fucking kills it. Yes. Like they say in Attack of the Clones that Mace Windu is the most powerful of the Jedi.

He's supposed to be the most powerful. They fucking show it here. Like and the best with the lightsaber. Yeah. Because he's going nuts. Is this the one where

there's a point where he actually like force throws a lightsaber through somebody and then pulls. No. Obi-Wan does that later. Obi-Wan does that.

But Mace Windu just does a lot of crazy, like sort of blocking, you know, like he's, yeah. This is also the episode, because it was happening before, but this is the episode where this animated series is like, look, let's be real.

We could do anything we want. Let's be real. Right. We all love Jedi. We know that they're powerful. Guys, let's make them the most powerful thing in the universe. Let's show you that shit. Let's show you how powerful the Force can really be with somebody who is a master.

This is Mace Windu loses his lightsaber. This is what I was trying to remember. He loses his lightsaber and he takes... Oh, my God. Oh, my God. The dude is like... It's my God. Oh, my God. The dude is like... It's just like force speed, force punch. He punches droids into oblivion,

then takes their spare parts and then chucks them at hundreds of droids. Yeah. And they blow up. He's just like... And then he does these little... He'll slide and then just do a force thing where it just blows five heads in a row.

It's amazing. And he does this E-Honda from Street Fighter thing where he kind of rapid fire punches things. He does a couple of blocks. He looks like a rock-em-sock-em robot. It's like, yeah, non-stop. That's chapter 13 is when he does all that stuff. Chapter 12 is this sort of- Wait, wait, wait.

I just want to say, that whole thing with the kid at the end of the battle. You don't like that? But it gives him water. I like that. Rules. It humanizes him. He goes past the little people. Because he's like our scary guy.

It's true. He's scary. Yeah. He's a scary black man. You know, it's interesting. Because, yeah. He is a little Jackson who often plays a lot of scary folk. You know, he's like a villain in a lot of movies.

And even when he's a hero, he's a scary hero. Yeah. He never gets to be scary really. Yeah. I will say it was a tad cheesy, but it's cartoon. No, I like it. I like it. I like the intention of what they were doing. I like anything that blows

out the war is a widescreen event rather than... Humanizes the war. It's like they're fighting on a real planet with real people. This is who they're fighting for. Yeah. That's who they're fighting for. And like it might look scary to that boy but at the end of the day Mace Windu is the one who comes over and says hi to him which is the difference between him

and the fucking droids. And he takes out and we just have to say that he takes out that huge ship. He does. All by himself. He's like he just force jumps like they can force jump like miles. Mace Windu rolls. Straight miles in the air. It's amazing.

Dude rolls. All right. Chapter 14 is a really interesting one that I want to talk about. It's set in like the lightsaber crystal cave. Oh. Yeah, with Luminara Undui and Barriss Offee. It shows you how a lightsaber is made. Making a lightsaber using like forced telepathy. Did you know about this before?

No, it's not mentioned. No? No, it's not mentioned. No, no, it's not mentioned. In any of the movies. The key to a lightsaber is a crystal. It's a crystal. And the crystals only exist in this one cave. And they give this like, there's a poem like the crystal is the heart of the blade. The heart is the crystal of a Jedi.

The Jedi is the crystal of the force. The force is the blade of the heart, which is like a little cheesy. Yeah, but guess what? It's also like the only dialogue in that episode. It's cool so if you only have like characters and they get infrequently they get like ambushed the two of them i also say it's like it's the mad max fury road effect where it's like if you really want to like put up or shut up and be like this is about action and the only time we're going to speak is when something can only be explained through words i'll excuse clunky dialogue.

Yeah. I'll excuse you being a little blunt with your metaphors or whatever. Yeah. If you're really like saving it for when you need it. Right. You know, to underline a point

or to like explain what the goals are. And this show does such a good fucking job of that. Chapter 15 keeps this going with the Yoda side where he gets Amidala and Captain Typho onto the snow planet. We just have to mention

because this is important and comes back later. They're building the thing with the crystals and then they're attacked in the cave. I said they got ambushed. They're ambushed by droids

that are invisible which is cool too. Yeah, that's true. That's a new thing that we've never seen any of the Chilla, right? Yes, no. And it's cool.

It's just like, again, it shows the diversity of the droids. They're called chameleon, no. And it's just like, again, it shows the diversity of the droids. They're called chameleon droids. And it makes them scary. But, no, there was noise outside. I know, I know. I was just making fun of you.

Yeah, so chapter 15 is sort of interesting with Yoda kind of being a jerk, but with a little more of a noble heart. But he's still bossing everyone around. He's like, we've got to go to this planet. And I think Typho raises the really reasonable thing of like noble heart. You know, but he's still bossing everyone around. He's like, we gotta go to this planet and I think Typho raises the really interesting, really reasonable thing of like, no, no.

It's like, there's a better, yeah, you have the mission here. That's a really bad idea. He kind of like says the same exact thing that he said

to Qui-Gon and like Obi-Wan and like Phantom Menace. Like, what are we doing? Yoda does a mind trick on him to make him go. He does a mind trick. And Amidala go. Right. He does a mind trick. And Amidala finds this hilarious.

Well, because Padme also wants to go because she wants to see Anakin. That's a big thing. She's like, I think we should this and that with Anakin. She wants to be in the shit. And then they're like, what? And she's like, just because I'm concerned. Like, she immediately has to cover up for the fact that she has any, like, stronger relationship with Anakin, which is also a thing I wanted to see in these fucking movies.

The fact that their relationship is secret is never played off in the interesting ways, which is how they have to present themselves to the world. They just tell you. Right. Oh my God, that scene with the pillars, and they're just like, Kiss- Pillars!

I'm just like, what is hap- Oh, that scene was terrible. Chapter 16, this is all flowing through, is the one that's Padme-focused, where she's in this sort of snowsuit, blasted chameleon droids. This has become an iconic outfit. This was a big cosplayer thing for a while.

It's called the Snow Bunny outfit. I don't like that name. Here's a thing I like about the outfit. How do you know about that? Because my brain is stupid. I focus on all the wrong things in life. Here's a thing I like about this outfit. It is actually practical.

Yeah. It is stylish. It is actually practical. Yeah. It is stylish. It is well designed. She looks cute. But more importantly, it is what she would be wearing for what she has to do on that day. Yeah.

Yeah, which is not true of most of her outfits. Right. Like it looks insulated. She has a hood. Accurate. Yep. Warm.

What I like about chapter... Her whole body's covered. What I like about chapter 16 is that Yoda's rescue mission plays out off screen. We don't see it. He just comes out of the cave with the two Jedi. They defeat, but it's all from Padme and the droids' perspective.

Yes. And it's really cool. And we don't need to know. Do we have to talk about C-3PO just a little bit? I think we've got to set it up. Help, help! I beat that in a live! Thanks, 3PO. What a piece of shit

That's good writing We don't need to hear it again She does use him as bait Basically for the droids Well see 3PO is just It is a comedic device In every episode that he's in. Anakin's an asshole to him, too, which is crazy because Anakin built him.

And he's like, literally, oh, here's fucking C-3PO. He's an abusive father. But yeah, Yoda's here. I'm being buried alive! The only actor to do his own voice work. But also, he's like, because like, Padme's like, hmm. She like throws a coat and like hits a droid. Let's just set the scene quickly. Yoda is...

No, but this is important. Yoda's saving the Jedi. This is not important. Yoda's saving the Jedi, so Padme's on her own just with the droids. She sees a bunch of enemy droids coming towards her. She's got a blast about how she's gonna fight them off. Right. Because she can't see them. Right. She doesn't have the force. They're invisible. She doesn't

have the force. She can't like force undo their shields. But lasers like flying around their heads. I'm gonna kill you. Oh wait who's that guy who will do literally anything I ask him to do? Well first she goes first she takes she's like hmm. She takes off her coat. She throws in the air. A couple of

blasts comes out. She shoots one droid. Boom. But there's still some more droids out there. Yeah. So now she knows where they are. She was able to like, but then she looks at her little shawl, and she's like, idea, bulb. Second idea. Hey, C-3PO, would you mind going to get that for me? Chapter 17 is Asajj Ventress fighting Anakin Skywalker.

C-3PO gets blown up, he gets buried in the snow, hence the audio clip. I want to say something about Chapter 17, which I think is phenomenal. Finally, that uppity guy gets his. Chapter 17 is really nice because it's the big battle between Skywalker and Ventress. Yes. But it's set on this really cool moon planet that has this giant red planet in the sky. Yeah. Like beautiful blood sky.

And there's like forests. Yes. Like, yeah. And these like old structures, like these weird stone, you know, temples. It's very cool. And what is it? Yavin 4. No, what's the...

Asajj Ventress? Asajj Ventress. Asajj Ventress. Asajj Ventress kills every clone that was with Anakin. Yes. Without him even knowing. Obi-Wan sends the clones after Anakin. She fucking murders them.

Yeah. Clones die like crazy. And there is that sense where sometimes Obi-Wan's like, they're like, should we go after him? And you realize like whatever Obi-Wan says right now, they're going to do. Like that's how they're programmed. They are just going to do whatever the Jedi tell them to do.

They're fearless warriors. So you kind of get why they could fucking surprise the Jedi in the third movie. Because it's like, yeah, these people were literally always following orders. Obviously, this isn't in the movie. No, it's not in the movie. They're climbing up the stairs having this awesome battle. Anakin's like robes

are getting like torn to shreds. Starts raining. Starts raining. It's like, can we talk about that? We're getting into chapter 18, which is the fight. No, no, just keep going.

It all flows. So it sets the scene so nicely though because it's just like they're there. I think she's up high. He's down low, which I do kind of want to talk about the high ground thing, though. Yeah. Because, like, the reason that Obi-Wan defeats Anakin in the other movie is he's like, I have the high ground. And in the movie, he's, like, barely 10 feet higher than him. I know. She's, like, 50, 60 feet above him. He's like, I have the high ground. And in the movie, he's like barely 10 feet higher than him.

I know. She's like 50, 60 feet above him. It's made up. And he just jumps up and then she can't do anything. It's made up. What's the high ground mean? It's made up. It's never talked about again.

It's made up stupid shit. It's like a deus ex machina. It makes me so mad. It's the worst. What is this high ground? There should have been an emotional reason why Obi-Wan kills Anakin. I have the high ground. It's over.

It's like, what are you talking about, dude? It should be that Anakin loses control of his emotions one last time and Obi-Wan beats him that way. Not, oh, I am on the thing and you're just a little below me. Are we supposed to believe that's why Yoda runs away too? Because he doesn't have the high ground anymore? Yoda never has the high ground. He's two feet tall. Also, Yoda was like below

and Palpatine's throwing stuff at him. He didn't have the high ground then. Also, why if Yoda blocks the light force lightning, why does he get blown like 50 feet? And Palpatine... This is the problem. And it's even a problem here because I'll say, because like Jedi

powers, they're just too transmutable like we don't know yeah we don't quite know how they work that was fantastic what are you talking amazing thank you um thank you for sharing that with us it is it's a real problem like because we just don't understand how they can be so good in one scene and then so flawed even in this it's like sometimes you're like why are why can you sometimes you sometimes take a clone and throw them whatever, but why couldn't you do that with Anakin? Sometimes they practically fly. Do they cancel? Maybe the Force

cancels each other out. Might be like two batteries. Not batteries. Magnets. Two magnets. Yeah, I do think that when two Jedi's are against each other, right, there's more going on. Yeah, they can't manipulate the Force. My question has always been, why don't you just turn off their lightsaber with the Force, right? Their lightsaber has a't you just turn off their lightsaber with the forts, right? Their lightsaber has a button.

Or just grab their lightsaber with the fort. Whatever. So I assume there's some interplay where it's like you're both canceling that out, right? Yeah, I think that happens. So anyway, I was trying to set the scene where the rain starts because it just falls like, it's like the stillness. Yes, and they're just-

One drop, it's like, another drop. So good. And they're motionless with their lightsabers at the end. Oh, God, it's so awesome. And there's steam with like their lightsabers it's so awesome and there's steam coming off the lightsabers anyway and then chapter 19

oh no 19's the end of the battle yeah it's an epic battle so there's this amazing epic battle incredible battle Anakin's like

like he's wearing like a vest now like his outer robes have been like thrown off lost to the winds and there's this moment where Anakin like

has not literally the high ground but like has her in a winning position like he has her to checkmate essentially and he like it's his to win and you see the anger come out yes right like jenny tartofsky uses all the powers of of visual storytelling to show anakin suddenly go from being like a hero who we're hoping can win an underdog position to being like suddenly a from being like a hero who we're hoping can win in the underdog position to being like suddenly a sort of terrifying figure and as the lightning strikes and the thunder goes off

he sees flashes of like etchings like against black like just line etchings of like Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan and Yoda and the Jedi Council and with no words you get the whole thing. It's him struggling with his anger

and knowing what they said about him and where his anger can lead him but wanting so badly to beat her in this moment and he just like fucking demolishes her. And screams. Isn't the picture her kind of on the ground with the lightsaber and him just banging on the lightsaber? Yes. What a great picture, right?

And then she finally drops one, and then he basically knocks her off a cliff. Yeah. It's like a really great picture to see, like, somebody on the ground with a lightsaber. Hey, Bits. No Bits. No, but it's a great picture.

No Bits is a great picture. And then he throws her lightsaber with a scream into the chasm. Obviously, she's still alive. This never picks that up again, but like dirge, you don't see a body. Now, episode 20 is what I think

it is, right? Episode 20 is the end of the second season and the introduction of General Grievous. General Grievous. Now, I will say two lightsaber wielding General Grievous. Not up to four yet. Again, I saw the animated series before I saw episode three.

I cannot tell you how excited I was to see General Grievous in Revenge of the Sith. Grievous rules. Nobody knew who he was. And I understand everybody hates him because they only know him from the movies. And rightfully so. In this, he is one of the most terrifying villains ever. Yep, I agree. Here are a couple things about General Grievous,

his depiction in this animated Clone Wars series. One, he's a boss. He's a pretty fucking big boss. Two, he does not cough. No cough, doesn't cough. No coughing. Now, to be fair, they are setting up his coughing later on. We'll he does not cough. No cough! He doesn't cough! No coughing! Now, to be fair, they are setting up his coughing later on. We'll get to his setup. We'll get to it. Yes, but

Coughing! Three, No cough. His voice isn't stupid. Totally different actor. It's John DiMaggio in this episode. It's a different actor in the other episode. Voice of Bender in Futurama. And many, many Jake the Dog, Marcus Phoenix in Gears of War.

One of our most prolific voiceover actors. Great voice actors. Yeah, a lot of great voice actors like Gray Delisle worked on this show. Yeah, but heavily modulated, strong voice. He's got a touch of a British accent. Yes. But he's not doing the Transylvanian thing. No. But yet, the way they depict Grievous is very vampiric in this.

Yes. Yeah. Like they use his cape and the angles of it and he's often hiding like hanging from the ceiling. Can we say though even before we see him Let's talk about this. Like because here's the thing like they also set up the fact that like

their armies were destroyed and that Grievous is a master general. Yes. Master general. You get like a call from someone who's like, we've been wiped out. There's a new droid general. Yeah.

He knows our every move before we do it. Like he's out thinking them. This episode starts in a cave. Coyote Mundi is there with a bunch of Jedis. A couple of Padawans. One guy who's like the Bill Paxton aliens character, like the one who's scared. Oh, yeah. He's like, I don't know.

Yeah, he's all scared. He's coming. He's coming. Game over, man. There's a wolf guy, I think. There's a wolf Jedi. The winner in a poll that the Cartoon Network held for like what new Jedi should be introduced. Oh, really?

Yeah. I would have went with Bat Pecky. Yeah, I agree, actually. No, I like the big guy. What was his name? Alagashu. He's big. Yeah, I agree, actually. I like the big guy. What was his name? Alagashu. He's big. He's a big fucker.

He claps. Please send in fan art for Ben's characters next week. This is a good Ki-Adi-Mundi episode because he's like, hold, hold. As a scared kid, he's like, I want to go, I want to go. There's silence. They're in the cave. They know something's coming. Oh, my God.

They show the sweat from Ki-Adi-Mundi. You see the sweat On his hand Dripping down And then his forehead Cause he's like He's a master And he's scared

And nervous And everyone else is scared And they have their Lightsabers ready Kia Demon D Has not even turned His on yet Like he's ready

He holds back Until the moment He needs to He's got his finger On the button And he's just standing there With these Jedi's Behind him

And they hear the... Can I say something? They hear the clunking. Yes. I still think this is bullshit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I still don't like the whole...

The windmill thing. He swirls his sabers around. You just can't make that look like a battle that I can follow with my eyes. I agree. You know what I like? It's just chaos once he's fighting. What I do like that they do in this

is he uses his feet in a crazy way. I agree. You know what I like? It's just chaos once he's fighting. What I do like that they do in this is he uses his feet in a crazy way. He does. He like sort of switches the sabers between his hands and his feet and shit. His feet are like hands and he's like hanging from the ceiling with them. He's fighting with them. He's grabbing people with them. Like he moves really like a vampire. He's like hanging like a bat.

He's sort of swinging down. He just takes out his two arms. He just has the two arms and the two legs. But even the swinging thing whatever they did it because it was in the freaking He's sort of swinging down. He just takes out his two arms. Yes. He just has the two arms and the two legs. Right. And he's doing the, but even the swinging thing, whatever, they did it because it was in the freaking movie. Yeah. But like, you still see like, he's really good at fighting with a lightsaber.

This guy's amazing. And he's really terrifying. And this is the finale, we should say. So it's like, he kills. A cliffhanger. He kills like three of them, I feel like. Yeah. And the cliffhanger is he and Ki-Adi Mundi staring each other down in the cave.

And you're just like, shit, this guy means business. Now, I know we've been taking a lot of time with them. Season three, we can go faster because season three pretty much just has like two plot lines across this episode. Yeah. Can I say something? I don't think season three is as good. I agree. I think the longer length of the episodes hurts it.

I think the three minute thing was really cool. Although we should say that Grievous Episode is like 7 minutes. It's like a real finale. I think Season 3 is not as good either. I think the 3 minute format is better because it's like really objective focused. This person has to get to this place. And also it really

promotes an economy of storytelling that is like really missing from everything else in the Star Wars media franchise. Agreed. Fucking toy boxes have less economy of storytelling than this goddamn

great show. Two additional thoughts as to why season three isn't as good and they're connected. One is I think... It's more Anakin-centric. Go on. It is. This is all think... It's more Anakin-centric. Go on. It is. And this is all tied to this thing. I think it was more handcuffed to leading

into Revenge of the Sith. That is true. They have to set up Revenge of the Sith. They literally leave it off at the exact moment that the Revenge of the Sith starts. And this aired in March 2005 and then for the next few weeks, so it was literally right before the movie came out. The effects weren't locked,

but they were writing and animating this series knowing what Revenge of the Sith was. They probably were finishing the effects, but had a final cut, knew exactly what the movie was, and George was like, you have to take us to this finish line. Point two is, I think George was far more involved in this one. That's possible.

And I think that's connected to point one, but I think these episodes are a lot more plot heavy. There's a lot more dialogue in this one. That's possible. And I think that's connected to point one, but I think these episodes are a lot more plot heavy. Yes. There's a lot more dialogue in them. Yes. It's not ever as bad as it is in the prequels, but there are two things that happen a lot with the dialogue. One is dumb, jokey one-liners.

There are some dumb, jokey one-liners in season three. Wait, can I tell you something? The depiction of Palpatine. Yes. Can I tell you? Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Can I tell you some things, though?

What do you mean, dumb, joking, one-liners. Oh, no! The lighting must get you to safety. No, we have to evacuate the building. Get everyone to a shelter. Yes, my lady. An army of droids. Here, I'd like to have a serious talk with your programmers.

Come on, DPS. Love that shit. Okay, great job, Ben. That was really good. I feel really good about that. Great job, Benny boy. Oh my god. Can I tell you something?

Braylock is losing here. Listening to that out of context, it is so bad. Yeah, we don't really need to discuss the dialogue anymore. You now get, it's jokier, it's a lot more exposition heavy. He's just yelling. He's just yelling while battle's going on. He can't believe in army of droids? I'm going to talk to your programmers?

What are you talking about? C-3PO, you've seen droid armies for years. I think Morgan referenced this in episode two when he's like, machines making machines. What are you talking about? It's the most commonplace thing in the world. Why is C-3PO so knowledgeable on so many things but on the most basic functions of machines? He doesn't get it?

He knows 6,000 languages with a flip? He knows how to talk to other robots but doesn't understand how machines make machines? What? The other thing with C-3PO is he seems to think that he's the only robot

that can do anything. Like any time a droid picking up a scarf how dare they? Why did Anakin program him to be this like elitist elitist

snobby uptight like oh my god. This guy sucks. I want to tell you some things about this third season of the Clone Wars that I just found out about though.

Last thing I want to say about it. This might be connected and it's connected to I think George's greater influence and tying into the season. It's a lot more plot heavy. Like there's a lot of like shitty clunky plotting they have to get through. What did you find out about the third season? There was originally no plan for a third season.

Not surprising. I knew it. Then George Lucas decided they should have a third season. Of course. He specified that he wanted them to resolve the storyline of Anhai Poirier, which is the Grievous attacking the Jedi storyline. Because his son Jet

was eager to find out how that particular story ended. Great. Is this the same Jet who is... Yep. The little fighting boy I have to say though I do like Jet I do too he's really good in the film anyway

you can't blame the kid for wadding that look I mean you just blame George you've got a direct line to George Lucas I just wish Jet would ask a few other questions of his dad yes agreed like why make these movies this way I would say the most interesting thing about chapter 21 is the knighting of Anakin.

That whole sequence, the flashback to Qui-Gon, the tension between, brief tension between Anakin and Obi-Wan where he's like, you're no Qui-Gon, which is like, true. Can we also say, though, that even though season three is not as good, it's still better than the movies. No question. And still set up things. Like I said, it still made even though it's ridiculous for George

to want it to connect to the T, it made episode three better. If you watched season three, if you watched this Clone Wars series, it made episode three better. Unquestionably. I agree. One other thing I want to talk about. Also, there's that flashback

to Young Anakin going into a cave which is very atmospheric. I wish we could have seen that in a movie. Too bad we didn't. Yeah, it's like a cave where you face your own nightmares. I would have liked to have seen this. What a great idea. What a great idea. Wow. That's like a thing you should

put in the second movie of a trilogy. I agree. The character meeting their fears. Yeah. A manifestation. No bits. No bits. Good idea. No bits.

That's a second act scene if I've ever seen one. The knighting scene though. So it's made very clear like they're knighting Anakin Young. And like I like the dialogue that you overhear where some people are like, he's the chosen one. Can we get on with this already? You know what? It's so good.

And you sort of see like the seeds of the chosen one. Can we get on with this already? It's so good. And you sort of see the seeds of the problem. I love the argument. They seem human for the first time. Yeah, they do. And they don't seem like a unified front.

They're not a unified front. And then his induction is like a real mafia thing where they all surround him in a dark room. It's all in shadows. It's like a fraternity pledge. And then they light up

their lightsabers. And Obi-Wan, I mean, Yoda cuts off Anakin's brain with a lightsaber which is fucking dangerous. And he mimes like knighting him on each shoulder i didn't like touch the shoulders i didn't like that but they also say this is a big thing he's like you know i guess we're gonna have to hurry it along he's been an unconventional jedi his test his

final test will have to be as unconventional right and the spirit right and he's like uh oh no this comes later so so this whole season is kind of like two main plot lines that are happening. One is that Grievous is trying to kidnap Palpatine. Yeah, they show the attack that we open up with on episode three. They show that attack happening. And how Palpatine ended up with Grievous. Yes. But they get the sense that Palpatine is going to be kidnapped.

So a bunch of the Jedis led by. I don't think they even knew that though. I feel like it was just the it was protocol. You're right.

It was just like for him. They were like well there's an attack happening. We need to get you to a bunker. Like that's what makes

sense. It's great. It's Shaak Ti is like leading this. She has like red and white like candy striped long braid barbershop.

Yeah. And what's the throat Jedi. Oh this dude's amazing. Yeah, barbershop. Yeah. And what's the throat? Jedi? Oh, this dude's amazing. He looks like a hammerhead shark. Who? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He does. He looks like a hammerhead shark. And he has four throats. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at this guy's name. All right, let's find him. But they go to Palpatine. They're like, Palpatine, the forces are coming closer. We should get you out of here to safety.

And Palpatine's standing right by the window and he's like, no, I don't hear any force. And they're like, no, dude, we're not kidding around. You gotta come with us right now. You guys are jumping ahead to another chapter, though. I mean, I wanted to talk about chapter 22. You want to do an order? I was saying... Well, I just like the chapter 22, the beginning,

where there's that guy who's like, they're gonna need a hundred million Jedi to take this down. Oh, yeah. That guy. And then he's like, who are they? How many are they sending? Just two. That dude's really funny.

Because he's talking to a droid, so the droid can't be. He's like, yeah, how much? 50? Yeah, and he's like, 40? Just two? This is like the club promoter

of the Star Wars galaxy. He's all dressed up in this regal attire. He looks like the music man or something. It's red with gold buttons. They start up with his twitching eyes. He's got this awful face and he's like man you never gonna take me down.

Yeah. I'm the best in the galaxy. We got so many. We got so we got such a big army. Yeah. Just get ready. And then they're like

they're looking at binoculars like coming towards us. How many Jedi's. What do you got like five thousand. And he's like no. He's like what like a

thousand. It goes on a little long with a droid like lower lower lower. Yes lower. I love how the droid is just playing along in this guessing game. Lower. But then they go two, and suddenly through the fog comes Anakin and Obi-Wan both sporting new haircuts.

Yeah. Time jump. Yeah. Time jump. Obi-Wan's now cut it close. Yeah. He's in his episode three look. Anakin's grown it out to his episode three look. And this is

the first time we've seen Anakin as a Jedi knight. You know one thing that's weird is that the series depicts Anakin getting his scar but it doesn't depict him getting his scar. Yes. You just cut to he does this cool battle and then you cut to a scene with him showing Amidala his scar across his eye which he has in the movie. Right.

And I was so baffled that I rewound the video because I was like, did I miss? No. It just happens off screen. They do show C-3PO hand-delivering Anakin's braid to Padme, though. He's like, here's a gift. It's Anakin's rat tail. It's a little creepy. She puts it in a box.

A lot of this shit. I think she's pretty creepy. She knew that boy when he was like eight years old. The third season is just a little creepy. It's not as good. It has a lot of that Battle of Coruscant stuff to do. Yes.

Do you like Anakin with the makeup where he goes? I want to finish the Palpatine thing first. I'm down with the chase. The Palpatine grievous chase. I still think the action of that is great. I agree. I like putting a different Jedi at the center of it, especially a female Jedi is a nice mix to be like, she's the one

Lena's mission trying to defend him. He lets himself get caught. The thing with the window where he's like, I don't think they're coming. He knows Grievous is going to come for her. Yeah, of course he does. And he's also like, I will not flee. So yeah, Grievous pops his head in and she's like, right behind you. But he does try to make it a moral issue.

He's like, I must stay here for the people. I'm not fleeing. But then even when Grievous comes in, he's like, I'm not scared of you. Like, what? But Grievous continues being Rad. Here's a question I have. Does Grievous know that Palpatine is on his side? I guess not.

I don't think he does. Because I think Dooku is Grievous' guy. And we see have. Does Grievous know that Palpatine is on his side? I guess not. I don't think he does. He doesn't. Because I think Dooku is Grievous' guy. And we see Dooku training Grievous. There's flashbacks to that. Oh, what a good scene that is, too. Very good scene. Very good scene.

Oh, my God. How did we not talk about it? Wait, we have to talk about it real quick. Real quick, though, because he gives a couple of explanations. He goes, look, those Jedi were tired. That's why you won, first of all. Don't start getting cocky. Don't start getting cocky. those Jedi were tired. That's why you won, first of all. Don't start getting cocky. Don't start getting cocky.

Those Jedi were tired. If they weren't tired, you would have lost. Two, you have to do unconventional attacks to keep them on their toes. Because they're going to know all your programming, basically. And you have to use fear and surprise. It explains why Grievous is formidable. You're like, Like, this is the, it explains why Grievous is formidable. Yep.

You're like, wait, why can this robot do, oh, it's because he's being trained. Not only is he being trained, but he's like, this is what the training is. And you're like,

oh, that scene made it, again, it bolstered Grievous as a villain. Yep. And you're like, okay, cool. And I agree with you, Grievous is great in the third season.

He also sees that Grievous has been collecting the lightsabers that the Jaisi killed and Dooku's like don't get caught up on trophies yeah

and that's like oh that's why he has a cape full of lightsabers because that's his downfall that's his downfall it's absolutely and but the seed for his downfall

and his coughing is planted yeah when Mace Windu kind of like force chokes his tummy yeah and hurts him alright are we just cutting to the end well I mean what else is there well there's just when Mace Windu kind of like force chokes his tummy. Yeah.

And hurts him. Are we just cutting to the end of the half? Well, I mean, what else is there? Well, there's just the Palpatine business. Yeah. I mean, there's some cool Mace Windu stuff again, like Yoda stuff. They're just using their force to like literally take ships and then throw them into other ships.

Oh, yeah. There's an amazing part where like the ship is opening up and the things are coming out and Yoda just like puts the stuff back in, closes the doors, puts the ship up in the air. And another ship comes and Yoda just smashes the two ships together. Yeah, you're just like, wow. All with the force. All with the force.

Yoda also, like, in the animation, they actually get across the idea that he's as old as he is. Yeah. Yeah. Like, because he moves with, like, an age, but also with an intelligence that comes from, like, experience. Right. The animation on Yoda is amazing in this the hammerhead shark Jedi he's got

like four throats trying to find his name and he like breathes out of them and there's a part where like they're coming towards him and they're like Grievous is coming towards him hold back and he just blows them out makes this like insane screech loud noise yeah and then there's the joke he goes they have four throats so I've heard right that's a Georgie Porgie thing that's like Like, insane screech. Loud noise. Yeah. And then there's the joke. He goes, uh.

Yeah, they have four throats, so I've heard. Right. That's a Georgie Porgie thing. That's, like, definitely putting in more dialogue. But Grievous, like, plants his feet into the ground because they're, like, hooks and then retracts the rest of his body inside his stomach. Yeah. So he's just, like, feet and it's rad and you're like, oh, this guy cannot be stopped.

Yeah. Like, anything you throw at him. He keeps coming. Like, so they they they run they are in an elevator he's like as fast as the elevator somehow yeah they get out then they introduce those guys with the with the purple thing they're like droids with light their own kind of lightsaber oh the magna guards whatever they yeah that's their call so they introduce those things they're coming coming at them there's this awesome scene with like the sub they're in a

subway station they're in a subway station. They're a legit subway station. Oh this fucking rules too because it's like grounding us in the reality like it's like this is like the world we understand.

This is Coruscant. This is the city. But the trains are so much faster. So fast. And there's a real like tension and a threat because it's like not only is there

a lightsaber battle here but if they move the wrong direction these trains are just going to cut them off. They're going to slice them in half. It's a better design sequence than anything in Revenge of the Sith.

There's one moment that for me like exemplifies how season three is a little more overwritten than one and two where like one of the Jedi's behind Shaak Ti is like going forward and she turns and goes like wait, not yet. And season one and two that would have been done wordlessly.

Like she would have held out her hand, they would have looked at each other and they would have stood still that's the problem with the 15 minute like link that's where it is right yeah yeah okay so the other plot line we have to talk about in season three how are we doing for time ben oh boy we're almost at an hour and a half i was gonna say so right we'll go through this quickly the other plot line in season three is avatar oh yeah yeah. I totally forget about it. I'm totally cool with not even talking about it. It's pretty bad. It's so dumb. The one thing I did want to say about

that that was interesting to me was that it shows why they would want to take the planet's life force. It gave me more of a sense of what the bad guys are doing to this planet and how it's affecting the planet. In Avatar they want the Unobtainium. I don't understand. Is that not clear? and how it's affecting the planet. Well, in Avatar, they want the Unotanium.

I don't understand. Is that not clear? No, it's exactly the same as Avatar. It's blue cat people who have a powerful resource on their planet, are very influenced by Native American culture. Yeah. Anakin comes to them as the outsider.

I hate the shit with the elders, though. There's that guy who's like, you know, he looks like a tree. Somehow everyone knows their language. I think it's a little forced. They decide that Anakin's like, you know, he looks like a tree. Somehow Obi-Wan knows their language. I think it's a little forced. They decide that Anakin's like, they're prophesied one. He has to go save them.

It turns out that Wat Tambor is like taking all their men and turning them into super monsters. And the fact that Anakin has a robot hand is like, it's very Doctor Who. Oh yeah, his robot hand gets destroyed. But Obi-Wan, I mean, Anakin does get to be a hero in it.

That's what I like about it. I think it's a little clunky, but it does show Anakin having to relate to other people, care about other people, save them. He's a less dynamic character. We don't like it as much. That's why we don't like it as much. Yeah.

Yeah. But it gives him a little more ground in going into Sith. That he's lived through something tough where he had to make sacrifices and care about other people and not just show off. I think the end of Anakin's arc with Ventress is like a way better button. I agree. No question.

Can I just go back to the Grievous Chase scene? Please. Because they have Shakti, right? Yes. She like kind of like is like, okay I'm gonna go ahead. I'll be the hero. I'll stop them. They come and she like faces off with like 10 of them, you know,

it's doing pretty good, but then realizes because they start backing up that Grievous wasn't there the whole time, knew where the other people were going. So now she's left them. He kills both of them, both of the other Jedi. She, when she gets there, she can't, this is the first time you see it. So she gets there. can't this is the first time you see it so she gets there

she's doing she's doing pretty well then there's a moment where she's got both she's he has the two lightsabers on her lightsaber yeah

and they're doing that kind of like classic lightsaber struggle yeah and then all of a sudden two arms come out right

which is very good two more the reveal of that was amazing well done when they reveal it in the movie it sucks

it is awful it's an afterthought it's thrown off it's terrible but when they reveal it here you're like oh my god and she's like I'm done oh actually

I'm sorry it happens it happens even before that it happens when he kills the two Jedi but like that reveal of the four arms and the four lightsabers

you're like damn they can't win and he's following Dooku's advice he's scaring them. Yeah, and then he grabs Palpatine. He's mad cocky at this point. Mace Windu finally gets

there, and he's like, I got four lightsabers. What are you going to do? Mace Windu just crushes his chest with the force. Just crushes his chest. He starts coughing. He backs up into the thing. The ship goes up. Mace Windu can't grab it with the force, and they're gone. The greatest compliment I can pay to this series is that it actually does make Revenge of the Sith and Iota better.

It really does. It explains a few things. It really does. It makes it and Iota better. It makes it a little bit better. I agree. But that's the greatest compliment. I didn't think anything could make that movie better.

Yeah, okay. That's a fair call. The movie's still terrible. This show makes it better. Makes it a little better. It does right by Grievous. It does right by all our characters, certainly right by the Jedi Order.

Yeah, I would say Palpatine's the only one it doesn't totally do right by. Yeah, but the design is great. Design's good. He's got a lot of jokes. A lot of jokes. A lot of jokes. It does right by Star Wars.

It's everything that George claims he was trying to do with Star Wars one-upped by someone he hired as a throwaway. Sometimes it's what you gotta do. Give me three-minute shorts that air before Operation Kids Next Door or whatever. You know? Ben 10 Alien Force. Right.

And this guy just fucking ran circles around. Genndy Tarakovsky is a fucking boss. I love it. He's a boss bitch. Super quick merchandise spotlight. Okay. As you said, he created this. He really wanted

to jumpstart the toy sales. Well, because Attack of the Clones is mostly romance, so kids didn't want to buy the toys. Yeah, that was the problem. So he was like,

let's make a war plotline. So they made up, designed all these characters like Durge and Asajj Ventress, I think were created to sell toys first. And they started selling toys that summer

that were like realistic. Like they looked like they were from the live action movies. And they did all right. And people immediately were like, why don't you have toys that look like these cartoon shows? Badass cartoon. The cartoon shows

episodes were made to support the toy line. And so they finally bent and were like, fine, we'll make them, but they're going to be really limited. They're only sold at Target. We're only making a couple characters. And I grew up in New York City. It city was not a target couldn't get them didn't have them last night while watching this in the middle like in breaks in between ejaculating everywhere i did immediately go on ebay and i ordered every so what what what are the toys uh it's a dooku yoda asajj ventress dirge Anakin Obi-Wan Mace Windu

and a clone trooper so I ordered all of those you got all of those? how much did you spend? $60 that's pretty good that's pretty good there was a Grievous

those were released during season 1 and 2 so Grievous wasn't released until season 3 later so I have to buy him separately because it wasn't part of the set but Grievous was at the end of season 2?

yeah but they didn't make a toy until season 3 because it was only in the last episode the only other ones they made were Grievous and then they made Anakin covered in the blue lines

and they made a bunch of clone troopers in different colors. But Grievous is like the only unique character I don't have. So I ordered all of those merchandise spotlight.

That's the power of merchandise. Can you bring them in when you get them? Yeah. At least bring in Ventress. You make a thing I like, I'll buy it off eBay immediately.

George, that's the lesson here. You make some ComTech chips, I'll buy it off eBay immediately. George, that's the lesson here. You make some ComTech chips, I'll buy them. Did you ever get your ComTech reader? No, I... I was talking to a fan once, and he was like, we need to get him a ComTech reader. That's really sweet. Yeah.

Well, Christmas is coming up, as is Chanukah. And also coming up is our live finale show. I want to remind you again, November 23rd at Union Hall. Come on out. Be a peeper, guys. Be a peeper. We got to pick a time. We got to pick a time. I'll say this. It's going to be a long show. Want to remind you again, November 23rd at Union Hall. Come on out. Be a peeper, guys. Be a peeper. We got to pick a time. We got to pick a time.

I'll say this. It's going to be a long show. It would be so great if Star Wars had a black protagonist. Dude, that's all I want to say. I mean, I hate saying that's a pipe dream. It feels like a pipe dream, right? That is a pipe dream. It's a sad thing to say.

And a central woman with agency, too. You know, there were some cool posters that came out today for a different movie that I'll show you guys after the podcast. Oh, cool. Can't wait to see that. Character posters. Character posters, probably for Alvin and Chipmunks, the road trip. Was that the one that's coming out this Christmas? It's coming out December 18th. I think, didn't we already

book tickets at MC Times Square? Yeah, 7 o'clock. That's the biggest movie coming out on December 18th. Well, thank you so much for being on the show, Jonathan Braylock. No bits. Thank you so much for being here and appreciating our rules of no bits. Of course. But you are a very funny man.

Thank you. You can be seen doing comedy around the city. You're the best. Oh, thank you. Anything specific you want to plug? I know you have, this will drop on Monday. It will drop the night of our live show. Yeah.

The day of our live show. So, I mean, if you hear it that morning, you're in New York City. You want to come to the pit, 8 o'clock. Black Man Can't Jump Live. We're doing it. Talking Hancock. Talking Hancock. Yeah, we are.

It's built up. Black superhero, Will Smith. How do you feel? We'll talk off air. We'll talk off air. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But listen to the podcast. It's unbelievable.

Yeah, Black Man Can't Jump. It's on iTunes. Spreaker is the hosting website. And yeah, you know, my house team's here. JohnBraylock.com. You can see my show. Go to UCB.

And look at his perform page and see what shows he has coming up. And then also listen to the other podcasts on the UCB network. Ben's giving me a thumbs up. Ben, any final thoughts? Yeah, who's this Chewbacca guy? Yeah.

They do. Oh, he's got an over-ear Chewbacca scene. They do a Wookiee scene. Was it Chewbacca? One scene. Yeah. I think there's two Wookiees. It looks like Chewbacca,

although it's- He doesn't say his name. But also, I feel like you guys are making a bigger deal of Chewbacca than he is in the movie. I don't like this.

Because in the movie, they're just like Chewbacca Yoda's just like blah blah blah it's that Yoda line and then Yoda leaves it's the Yoda line

where he's like we've always been friends and you're like I don't think he doesn't even say that he says Chewbacca thank you so much

for speaking at my wedding that time you gave me a loan of $5,000 I feel like he's just like thanks Chewbacca you helped save me you two wookies helped save me you wrote a college recommendation for my kid um there is a moment

with a wookiee who looks like chewbacca and a little boy and i just want to point out dude's got a bandolier much like chewbacca and sip except it looks like naturally made cool like it's not like fucking metal and like polished leather it's like more like rustic and organic like the armor of the Wookiees. Why wouldn't they make them look like that in the movie? You know, I just realized that Wookieepedia is referencing the Wookiees. Oh, that's weird. It's weird. They're not a major part of the movie. But I think that actually makes

sense to me because Wookieepedia has like all of these like tiny information that nobody would really know about. It makes sense that they would take some obscure. Also, it sounds like Wikipedia. That's, yeah, also. Two major things. Grievopedia doesn't have the same ring to it.

Well, thank you for being on the show, John. Thank you for having me. Listen to Black Man Can't Jump in Hollywood. Buy tickets for our show at Union Hall November 23rd. Yeah. Keep rating, reviewing, subscribing. And as always, you will be my friend now and forever.

Chewbacca, the greatest man I've ever known. The light of my life. My deepest love. I cannot thank you enough. And here's a birthday card I gave you. Chewbacca. It's a really long line. My friend.

I'm giving Ben the cut off. That's what it is in the movie. It's a really long line. I forgot about how long that line was. Chewbacca, let's get drinks tonight 7 o'clock good for you it's good for me thanks guys oh my god