Blank Check with Griffin & David - The Visit with Louis Peitzman

Episode Date: April 1, 2016

Louis Peitzman (BuzzFeed) joins Griffin and David to discuss the old person horror, 2015’s The Visit. But is the found footage device used in a effective way? Can the great Kathryn Hahn do no wrong? Does this mean M. Night’s very bad movie streak has finally run out? Together they examine the Blumhouse model, the gross factor versus the gore factor, a dirty diaper in the face and how Shyamalan paying out of pocket for this production might just correlate with it being actually palatable. Also, the original Slenderman, lil Roman Polanski rapping, and a Burger Report with LeBron James.

Grandma's Rules 1. Have a great time 2. Eat as much as you want Grandma's rules. Number one, have a great time. Number two, eat as much as you want. Number three, don't leave your room after 9.30 p.m. And number four, podcast. I thought you were just going to go with don't ever leave your room after podcasting. Oh, I thought about that.

Yeah, well, whatever. I thought that was clunkier. I don't know. It's a little clunky. I also thought this is the last one, so let's get like metatextual and just make the fourth rule just the word podcast. Very metatextual. It's very metatextual. Hi everybody. My name is Griffin

Newman. My name is David Sims. Welcome to Blank Check with Griffin and David. This is a podcast where we investigate directors, their filmographies. People were given a blank check early on in their career. Mr. Macintosh comes to their door and says, you can make whatever movies you want. Mr. Macintosh?

The fake name of the company that the kid in blank check starts. I did not remember that from the film blank check. Thank you. There's a part where he's at the computer and they go, what name do you want to open the account under? He looks at the little apple on his computer and he goes, Mr. MacIntosh.

Did you think Apple paid for that? Maybe. I was just talking to our guest, who we haven't said is here yet, about the other movies that made, the man who made Blank Checkmate, including Stigmata. Weird. Remember Stigmata? Yeah.

Where they were like, we got it, guys. Patty Arquette, Christ Wounds. Patty Arquette. We got to go back to calling her Patty. Yeah. Patty, past and future guests of the show. This is our second episode we're recording today. I'm on like four hours of sleep.

Why aren't you sleeping? I did a late show last night. I'd forgotten I agreed to, and I fucked my life up. But I'm doing great. Yeah, yeah. You're the tick. I'm Arthur. I'm the life up. But I'm doing great. Yeah, yeah. You're the tick. I'm Arthur. I'm the Arthur.

I still haven't been fired. Great. That's my biggest goal is not to get fired before I start working. Have they cast the tick yet? Nope. I'm asking you on mic. No, no, no. The honest answer is here's the honest answer, okay?

In this episode, by the time this episode is released. They probably will have cast the tick. They probably would have known. But I'll just tell this as a little anecdotal story. Everyone keeps on asking me, like, oh, they cast the tick. Have they cast the tick? And I'm like, no. And they're like, but you can't tell me, right?

And I'm like, no, I genuinely... We don't know who the tick is. As last I asked, they don't have somebody, right? They're trying to get somebody, and they're trying to get... I think they're going after some big people and some cool people, and they're not auditioning. They're, like, offering. Right not auditioning. They're like offering. Right.

So I emailed the casting director a couple days ago. By the time you listen to this, it will be two weeks. Oh, my God. Wrap this up. About something else. Yeah. And I was like, da, da, da, da, da. Also, can't wait to hear who you cast as the big guy.

And she like wrote the email back. And I was like, maybe she'll just tell me like, hey, don't tell anybody, but we're close to this person. She wrote back, addressed the first thing. And I was like, great. Thank you. Also, are you close to getting someone to play the tick? And she was like, yep. And I was like, great.

Can't wait to hear who it is. And she was like, yep, you're going to like it when you hear it. Great. It's someone cool. Cool. So they will not tell me even who their leads are. But I haven't been fired yet. And that's great news

for everyone. You think that Patty Arquette could be American made? Yeah, I hope so. That'd be awesome. Yeah, she'd be good. There's so many good supporting. What a great little

ensemble of characters that Tick has. Can I tell you who my new favorite supporting character is? I've been reading all the comic books. Also, our guest here is Louis Pitzman from BuzzFeed. Sorry, I just got impatient. I always like it when the guest just starts talking naturally.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, Louis Pitzman's here. Louis Pitzman's here from BuzzFeed. I've been reading all the comics. There's a character who appears You a Tick fan? Yeah. There's a character who appears in the comics because a lot? Yeah. Yeah. Tick Ed. There's a character who appears in the comics. Because a lot of the, Ben Edlund only did the first 12 issues of the comic before he went over to the cartoon show.

Our producers are going to be so mad at us. No, come on. All right, wrap it up. No, they want the Tick content. Yeah, Tick content. That's what people are listening for. The scoops. At this point, the Tick is a sensation and people want to hear everything they can about

it, right? Yeah. Two weeks from now? Yeah. Yeah. Because at this point, we'll know that Arnold Schwarzenegger has been cast as the Tick, and America will be salivating for details. Salivating.

Salivating. Okay. There's a minor villain who appears in like issue 10 of the original comic books. They go to, oh, he's a hero rather. They go to a bar with all these superheroes, like a superhero nightclub, and they're all introducing themselves. And there's a guy named like Six Shooter, and he has six shooters okay and he juggles guns the whole thing is he like juggles three guns in each hand and then shoots them while he's juggling which is cool but the guy i like they're

like introducing all these heroes with these cool names and everything and they go what about that guy and he goes i'm the guy with a grenade with a hand grenade and they go what's your power and he goes i have a hand grenade it's funny and they that's it? And he goes, you can get a lot done with a hand grenade. And he's just a dude in like a superhero spandex jumpsuit holding a hand grenade out in front of him. And he just gets what he wants because people don't want him to let go.

So who do you think for that one? Vin Diesel? I'm used to it. I want Vin to be the tick. I don't even want to verbalize that because I don't want to put that in the world because it's not going to happen. But that's my ultimate dream. It might.

Hey, you know what? It might. I mean, Vin Diesel's career would have to, no offense, nosedive in the next couple weeks for him to get cast. Well, offense taken. I'm just saying,

he's on top of the world. Yeah, I know. I'm feeling good about myself. No, you're good. You're not on top of the world, but you're climbing the world. How funny funny is this gonna be listened to in two weeks when everything's changed yes and yeah uh yeah let's also say john casich just won ohio yeah you want to just let's let's ground ourselves in this moment uh it's gonna snow tonight i think

is the is the thought that's the rumor it's gonna snow tonight in new york city uh yeah ellen page just posted an instagram of a dog that I opened on my laptop. Oh, that's going to be a watershed moment that people will be able to remember. They'll look back at it and they'll remember where they were this time and place. That is a good dog. I wonder how many likes that'll have in two weeks. That's a good question. How many likes does it have right now?

12.78. Okay. Let's revisit this. I'm going to bookmark this. And we'll check in later. Great. Yeah. Mitch McConnell just said that the NRA have to approve of the next Supreme Court justice.

I don't know what that means. I don't either. What's the podcast about? So this podcast is about directors who have success or early honor given a blank check by Mr. McIntosh to make whatever movie they want. Got it. So with M. Night, of course, The Sixth Sense. This is the guy.

M. Night Shyamalan's the guy we're talking about. It is the movie, the blank check movie. M. Night Shyamalan's the name. Pod Night Shamacast is the game. That we're playing. And this is his most recent film. It is. It came out not but a year ago.

It came out on September 11th, 2015. It is. It came out not but a year ago. It came out on September 11th 2015. Never forget. Don't forget that release date. Never forget it. At the time that this movie came out we sort of had the idea because it was starting to get good reviews. We knew we were coming to the end of the Phantom Menace.

We were in our Star Wars hole. We were like we want to do other things. We want to do directors. This is kind of interesting. Endnight's having a comeback moment. We went, he might be a good subject. So we both held off on watching this movie for this podcast. We didn't see when it came out.

I finished watching this movie two minutes before. I didn't plan my time out very well. And 30 minutes after I arrived. Yep, yes, correct. Which is fine. I want to position this in time. Let's definitely get that on the record. It's fine.

Lewis arrived exactly on time. On the nugget. Griffin said, I have five minutes, I think was how you put it left. I said 15. I underestimated how long the credits were. You said five. I overestimated. I said the credits would be longer.

I said 15 first, and then he said five later. But then I looked at your screen, and there were a lot more than five. You came over to me, and you were like, yeah, Yahtzee hadn't happened yet. And I was like, okay, so he doesn't have five minutes left, which is a very good indicator of, like, a plot, like, where in the plot. I thought M. Night usually has, like, 15-minute long credit sequences. It's true that After Earth and The Last Airbender have hellaciously long credit sequences. They have gone with the wind level long credit sequences.

For no good reason. Anyway. Folks, this is the movie called The Visit. It came out September 11th 2015. This is the landscape we're in right now. M. Night has another film that's in production right now. Split. James McAvoy.

Ed Lockman shot it. Is that right? Ed Lockman shot it? He has the best cinematographers. We didn't even talk about I think, no, wait, who shot it? Cronenberg's guy shot After Earth. We didn't talk about this. This was shot by the guy who shot, oh, you're saying The Visit was shot by him. This was shot by a lady who was shot by Marisa Yeah, who shot Velvet Goldmine and

other cool movies. And shot Wrestler and Creed. That's right. Should have been nominated for an Oscar. Totally. But no woman has ever been nominated for Best Cinematography. Split is being shot by Mike Giulakis. What's he done? Well, he shot It Follows. Oh, interesting.

Which is a pretty good movie. Yeah. Apart from that, mostly indie movies that I don't know. Yeah, but it seems like he's snatching up all these hot people. Oh, is it the production designer from Carol? Is that what it is? What the fuck do I know? Someone from Carol worked on this film.

He's got a fucking, what's his name? You're talking about the next movie, though. Let's talk about this movie. Okay, right, but we don't know that next movie yet. This is the most recent M. Night thing we have to go off of. This is our last formal episode. We are possibly doing a bonus episode, depending on whether or not we lose our minds. Depending on enthusiasm, yeah. Yeah, but we have some things we could do for last formal episode. We are possibly doing a bonus episode, depending on whether or not we lose our minds.

Depending on enthusiasm, yeah. But we have some things we could do for the bonus episode. This is The Visit. Now, Lewis, you are a big fan of horror movies. Correct. I often, Lewis is sort of my lodestar in terms of what indie horror to check out, what to avoid.

There's a lot these days. There's too much. There's too much, and it's partly through the model that this movie was kind of made through, right? The sort of low budget,

fast and cheap. The Blumhouse model is that you can make a movie for like $15,000. I mean, that's like one movie you can make for that much since then it's been

more expensive. But then get a lot of money back. Right. As long as it clears a little bit, you know, that's all you need.

Or, you know, on video on demand and stuff like that as well. Jason Blum was a producer on Paranormal Activity and he really took the ball As long as it clears a little bit, you know, that's all you need. Or, you know, on video on demand and stuff like that as well. Jason Blum was a producer on Paranormal Activity, and he really took the ball and ran with it after that. He ran far. Ran real far. And his other thing is, I mean, his movies are like, so even like Gem and the Holograms, right, which he produced, which was an off-genre film for him.

Right. Was a tremendous flop. Yes. which was an off-genre film for him, was a tremendous flop. But it also was produced for so little money that he had to come out and be like, this is embarrassing that it did this poorly, but also no real skin off my back. It cost as much as The Visit. It cost $5 million to make.

And that's a mega budget for Blumhouse, is 5 mil is the biggest they get. So he's got a really good sustainable model. Paranormal Activity was the $15,000. That was the $15,000 movie, yes I mean, he must be just He must be so rich They must all be so rich, the people who made that movie

Yeah, sometimes I just sit down and think about it Well, they have all these franchises too Insidious, The Conjuring is getting a sequel Sinister, there's a couple Sinister movies They got The Purge Ouija They're making a Ouija sequel Oh yeah

It's a good director's And then Mike Flanagan. Is he part of the whole creepy doll sort of extended franchise? Annabelle is. Yeah. Annabelle is a spinoff of The Conjuring. Yeah, right. Wait, have you guys seen the real Annabelle doll? Yeah, it's a Raggedy Ann.

Yeah, it's a Raggedy Ann. Do you know that? Look up the real Annabelle doll. Annabelle's a fucking goddamn Raggedy Ann. It's hilarious. It's Lorraine Warren holding a Raggedy Ann doll. It's not even a creepy one. No. It's just Raggedy Ann. It's hilarious. It's Lorraine Warren holding a Raggedy Ann doll. It's not even a creepy one. No.

It's just Raggedy Ann. I had a Raggedy Ann when I was a kid. We're not saying it's a Raggedy Ann type doll. It is the Raggedy Ann you would buy from the Hallmark store. But it's haunted. This was the haunted doll. This was the haunted doll, yeah. Because in the movie, it is the most demented looking doll you've ever seen.

Yeah, it looks like why would anyone design a doll to look that way? It was manufactured that way. It looks like someone set a plastic child on fire. It's like the creepiest fucking thing. You know what I was appreciative, though, about Child's Play is that those dolls were believably creepy. Yes. They were very creepy.

They were right on the edge. You understand why that would happen and why, as a kid, you'd be okay with it, but as an adult who understands that things are scary. You'd be like, this is a fucked up doll. Yeah. You're big into the Child's Play franchise, too, right? Are you not a huge fan? No, I am a big fan. Okay, because this came up with us recently on the podcast.

Which is your favorite of the Child's Play movies? Oh, God. This is when we were talking about the box-off performance of Another Stakeout. Right, and you were very surprised by which one I said was my favorite. Mine is probably Bride of Chucky. Interesting. Mine, too. Well, what's your favorite?

I like 3. He likes Child's Play 3. That's the worst one. I agree. That's the one at military school. Yeah, I like that one. No. Child's Play 2 is also really good.

3 ends with the fight on the factory line though, right? No, that's 2. Child's Play 3 ends up with him on the railway tracks, I believe. Child's Play 2 is the one where Emily Valentine from 90210 and the kid are like in the factory. Right. For the showdown. That's 2. So maybe 2's my favorite. I just know I like that factory showdown, but I always thought that was at the end of the Military Academy

movie. I gotta rewatch that. I'm pretty sure that 3 ends at like a haunted house or something. And then I don't know. No, I think you were right. It's the train thing, right? Isn't it? I don't remember. It's been a while. Oh, you thought it was the train thing? Well, no.

Chucky, Child's Play 3 was banned in Britain. Right. I believe it's 3. It might have been 2. One of them was banned in Britain because a child was murdered. This is really famous. Oh, right. The James Bulger case.

Oh, yeah. Where two children murdered a little child and they tied him to railroad tracks. Chucky was kind of the Slender Man of his time I mean and like the thing was it was kind of like that's

that's sort of it was sort of a fake Slender Man because like they didn't actually know if they'd seen those movies but the crime

was just similar but that was around the time when they were just kind of like they were just banning videos right and you know also say like

if they tied a kid to some train tracks and they thought it was a copycat crime, he also might have watched, like, the fucking Dudley Do-Right. Or, like,

old, like, Silent One reelers. Like, that's, like, the oldest trick in the book. Like, were they twirling long mustaches and wearing capes? Because if so,

it might not have been Chucky's fault. It's just crazy because, like, I know that it's such a niche thing in this country, but in England,

like, the Bulger murder is, like, the biggest thing that's that's ever, the worst crime in the history of Britain, basically. They still haven't gotten over it. That movie Boy A is about the Bulger murder. Right, right. Which introduced us to a young Andrew Garfield. Andy Garfield.

So I am uncomfortable even making a joke about it. That's why I'm saying that. I feel bad about my Slender Man joke. No, that was a great joke. Did you see the Slender Man documentary? I did, yes. Is it good? It's so good. Yeah, I'm very excited for that. I like that guy. Did you ever watch- Slender Man, that was a great joke. Did you see the Slenderman documentary? Is it good? It's so good.

Yeah, I'm very excited for that. I like that guy. Did you ever watch? Slenderman, I think he's cool. Let's have him on the podcast. Let's have him on the podcast. Our next miniseries is Child's Pod. We're going to go through the Child's Play films with Slenderman on every episode.

Okay, two things really quick. Please. One, they did a Q&A after that movie and I was like, if they bring out Slenderman, I'm going to shit my pants. Seriously. Didn't happen. Didn't happen. The other thing that I love about Child's bring out Slender Man I'm gonna shit my pants seriously didn't happen didn't happen the other thing

that I love about Child's Play is that Don Mancini wrote that entire series right it's the only there's an auteur element yeah it's the only horror series

that I can think of that always had the creator and also varies so much in terms of tone like it went it's now back to horror he went in a lot of directions

he reinvented his own franchise which rarely happens also he's he's like a gay dude which is kind of uncommon in horror it's like back to horror. He went in a lot of directions. He reinvented his own franchise, which rarely happens. Also, he's, he's like a gay dude, which is kind of uncommon in horror. It's like him and Clive Barker in terms of like mainstream horror. I didn't even see Curse of Chucky. Did you see that one? I did. The video one, is it good?

It is good. And that's back to straight horror, but it's minimalist kind of, right? Minimalist for Chucky. It's, you know, it's, but it's, it's back to straight horror. The, uh, the, the trailer looks kind of rough because there's some CGI in it. That's, I saw that. But if you actually watch it, you know, it's back to straight horror. The trailer looks kind of rough because there's some CGI in it. That's, I saw that.

But if you actually watch it, it's quite good. And they have more practical stuff in the movie. Yeah, no, yeah. Is Seed of Chucky

the one with John Waters or is that Bride of Chucky? Yes, Seed of Chucky. Seed had, he plays a paparazzi. Anyway. Seed's real goofball bananas.

Seed is where they were. The Britney Spears scene in Seed is when I was like, this is a movie that I'm watching. Wait, but I had a thought about all this. Well, Slender Man, did any of you guys ever watch Marble Hornet? That thing on YouTube? Marble

Hornet? You guys don't know? Do you know it? No, but it sounds like something that's going to scare me. It's fucking scary. And I did, it was when the Slender Man thing happened, they had watched this thing. It's like a YouTube series, an indie thing, like a web series, but it's not, you know, he just made it by himself about like a person who went mad making a movie when Slenderman started haunting him.

Oh yeah. They have clips of that stuff in the movie. Like all the, they show a lot of like Slenderman, like homemade videos and stuff. And I watched it one day at work when I was like going down a YouTube hole because I was like, maybe I should write about this. And it freaked me out. It's not actually like high I should write about this. And it freaked me out. It's not actually high production value or very scary, but it freaked me out. What would you do if you went to a Comic Con and Slenderman was just there doing signings?

Like he was just at a long table in between WWE's Virgil and Tony Todd. And he was just there with a bunch of glossies. Thank you. Where did I just see Tony Todd in? The Rock? I didn't see him in an old movie. I thought maybe you re-watched Final Destination. Yeah.

He's great in Final Destination. He's in a new movie? I just sworn. He's the voice of Zoom in the flesh. Anyway, look, let's get to the visit. Let's get to the visit. Can I say one thing before we get to the visit? Yeah, of course.

Just because we brought up John Waters. Do you know, do either of you know, there is a moment in Alvin the Chipmunk's or The Road Trip, directed by Walt Becker, a tour of old dogs. I think the greatest living vulgar auteur. He's a lunatic who they let make children's films.

There's a moment where they're on a plane and they sneak into first class. This is where they get put on the no-fly list. And TSA agent Tony Hale spends the rest of the movie trying to track them down. That's the plot of the movie? The movie's insane. By the way, they're barely on a road trip in that movie.

They're mostly on a plane trip? No, and then they are in a car for a little bit, but then go on a bus. They spend a lot of time in New Orleans. So they're on the road. A little bit, but it's like one montage of them driving through cities. Anyway, there's a moment

where they're on a plane and a stewardess comes over a flight attendant comes over to Alvin Alvin's sitting in first class he's snuck into first class sitting next to John Waters did not know that who I've always said feels like Walt Becker's making

John Waters movies within and not in a good way but he's somehow making like children's John Waters movies. Yeah that are like that crass and disgusting. Like a straight guy making John Waters movies. And I can't figure out if he's self-aware or not but it does feel like he's the straight John Waters. The straight gone waters. He's the straight gone waters with a bigger

budget. Yeah. But they're sitting on the plane together and the flight attendant comes up and somehow some sort of joke is like they like volley a joke to him about the fact that the chipmunks have eaten their own poop in the previous movies or something like that like somehow a poop joke comes up and John Waters goes like

God how far have our standards fallen like he says something like that and Alvin goes like oh please like you have right to judge I've seen pink flamingos there's a joke in fucking the road trip about pink flamingos like you have right to judge. I've seen Pink Flamingos. Wow. There's a joke in fucking The Road Trip about Pink Flamingos where they criticize Alvin for eating his own shit

and he's like, come on, I've seen your fucking shit-eating movie. Did the kids lose it in the audience? Did they just go nuts for that joke? They all started bleeding out of their eyes. What the fuck is this? It was like Squidward's Revenge or whatever. Yes.

You know what I'm talking about, right? What the fuck is this? It was like Squidward's Revenge or whatever. Yes. Yes. You know what I'm talking about, right? Mm-hmm. I was doing a callback to the Creepypasta. We were doing Slenderman. That's what happened there. Yeah. In case you guys missed that.

Creepypasta is the kind of thing that I just wish I was the right age to be independently discovering that stuff. You can tell how scary it would be. Oh my God. Some of it's legitimately creepy. If I were 11, when I was forwarding chain letters that said, if you don't forward this 15 times, you're going to get murdered. I was doing that because I believed that was going to happen.

So if someone told me that Slenderman was real at that age, I would have probably stabbed someone. Do you know what else would have been really creepy when you were 11? The visit? Having to spend a weekend with your grandparents. Who you'd never met before grandparents Who you'd never met before Who you'd never met before And then they start acting real kooky

Not real kooky Let's be clear They're gross This is a movie Now I believe this movie is rated PG-13 Am I correct? I think it's an R Is it an R?

I was trying to Let's look it up I'm pretty sure it's an R Because I was watching and trying to figure out Which side of the coin it was falling on Because I was gonna say No it's a PG-13 Wow

Is it really? They say fuck once They say fuck once. They say fuck once. Because they do the game of him using pop stars instead of curse words. Oh, right. That's not too graphic. No, it's not. I was going to say, this movie kind of like Drag Me to Hell, which was another sort of

intense PG-13 horror movie. It does gross stuff rather than gory stuff. I love Drag Me to Hell. Yeah. So good. Me too. So much. But that's like kind of- You know what Drag Me to Hell didn't have? A diaper to the face.

It had a lot of snot. Oh, for sure. And this one has a lot of barfing and diapers. It's got a lot of poop. I just gotta state up front, I'm a little biased because I like movies with poop in them. I don't actually care for poop in movies.

Me neither. I'm usually quite anti-poop. And that scene really got to me. It seemed unnecessary. Which one? The initial introduction of the diapers or the diaper to the face? Diaper to the face. I agree with that because I think the initial introduction of the diapers is really effective.

Oh, totally. I agree with that. Because it's not like they find a dead body and you're like, okay, we get it. It's like, oh, this is really weird and really messed up, but maybe it can be explained away. You know what I didn't get until re-watching it, though, is that

it's awfully convenient how those crazy people hold it together real well at the beginning and play along and then suddenly get crazier and crazier as the week goes on. I know. And it's never fully laid out, which is fine because Shyamalan movies often lay things out a little too much. Like explain everything, you know. Start from the beginning.

Let's start from the beginning. And then Shyamalan writes a spec script, right? He's coming off of After Earth, which is coming off of The Last Airbender, which is coming off of The Happening, which is coming off of Lady in the Water, which is coming off of The Village. So dude's fucking smarting right now, right? Yeah. He writes a spec script that at the time is called Sundowning. Correct.

And I believe he comes to Jason Blum and goes, I see what you're doing. I like what you're doing. I like this model. And M. Night puts up $5 million of his own money. Oh, wow. It was all his own money. He bankrolls this movie himself, fucking Georgie Lucas style. Good job, M. Night.

He pulled a Georgie Porsche. He pulled a $5 million to just drop on a movie. That's what he used to make per movie. No, I mean, I know. He made a lot of money. So he, like, used- I mean, I don't know. Maybe M. Night's a compulsive gambler.

He might be. He might be. But I'm just saying, I mean, look, who knows how much he had saved up. I get the sense he's a little frugal, but that's my read. He lives in Philadelphia. Do you really think of M. Night Shyamalan and think restraint? Is that what you're like? Financially, I think because he is.

You watch The Last Airbender and think financial restraint? He is pretty formal in terms of cinematic language. You know what I'm saying? Like his directorial style, like not his writing, not his storytelling, but like the meter of like his editing and his shot composition feels like a guy who's not spending a ton of money. Okay. I'm talking like on like cars and shit.

I don't want to argue with you. I don't. Look, that's rough theories. I'm working on it. I have the charts in my room. They're tied together with pushpins and red yarn. Continue your story. He puts up money for this movie.

I mean, he got like $10 million to do The Villain, right? Sure. So, I mean, by the time he was doing After Earth, he still probably got $5 million to direct that movie. Yeah, making money. He writes, he produces. So he put up one of his old salaries to make this new film, goes to Blumhouse, and they make it very much off the radar.

Like, I remember reading an interview with Catherine Han about something else. They were like, what else do you have coming up? And she was like, well, I just did a movie with M. Night Shyamalan. And they were like, what do you mean just? We would know if there was a new M. Night Shyamalan movie. She was like, it was a tiny little movie. We did it all in the house. I think it's going to be really interesting.

Yeah. Like people didn't even know the movie existed until she said that. I think he just went way off the beaten path. And then it was released in September, did 25 million opening weekend, which was seen as like a good return on investment. Yeah, it opened number two. Behind? If you guess this, it made like 400,000 less than the number one movie of September 11, 2015.

I don't know what this movie is. Oh, wait. Is it a Jesus movie? War Room? Close. No, it's not a Jesus movie. It is a niche audience movie, I guess you could call it that. It is a black movie, I guess.

Okay, so that's why you were being euphemistic. It wasn't No Good Deed? Not No Good Deed. Which is actually like You know Pretty good deed? Okay deed Is it okay deed?

But I think it's in the same I didn't see this film But I think it's in the same Sort of wheelhouse What movie is it? The Perfect Guy Oh fuck Oh yeah

With I believe Morris Chestnut's in that Is he? And Michael Ealy The great Michael Ealy And Sana Lathan I don't know how you say her name. Yeah, Sana Lathan, I think. But that movie opened

just a smidge over The Visit, but they both did well, and The Visit cleared, I mean, like, 65 domestic? This is a game we do. We try to guess the top five from the thing. Oh, yeah, you want the other three? Give me the other three. War Room was number three. War Room was number three. Okay, number four? Give me a hint.

Old Guy movie made actually a decent amount of money. No one ever even acknowledged that it existed. It made 30 mil. Mr. Holmes? No. Literally, I forgot this movie existed. But it's a movie for old guys. Boy, is it. Do you know, Lewis?

I don't. Nick Nolte's in it. Oh, the fucking Nick Nolte, Robert Redford movie. Correct. A Walk in the Woods. Boom, yeah. Oh, right. Weird.

Make $30 million. Yeah, weird. On a budget of like, you know, nothing. Directed by Ken Kwapis of Dunst and Chex in fame. And The Office. And number five is just like an awesome action movie that rocks. It's a sequel. It's the best.

I loved it. So it would have been, so this is have been Mission Impossible 5, Rogue Nation, the best of the Mission Impossible films? Incorrect on that part, but correct on the rest of it. What's your favorite Mission Impossible movie, Louis? Everyone's different. I have only seen the first

three. Gotta get to the fourth and fifth. I know. I'm a little behind. I'll get there. I think those are the rewards. Yeah, I agree. I have to little behind. I'll get there. I think those are the rewards. Yeah, I agree. I have to rewatch The Visit every weekend. Yep, just in case

we're doing a podcast about it. Yeah, this worked out really well, actually. Let's say this is actually the 20th podcast you've been on about The Visit now, right? You'd be shocked.

Yeah. Number 10 that week was an animated film called Un Galo Con Muchos Huevos. Oh, yeah. Lionsgate is releasing Spanish cartoons now. What the fuck is that? It's about chickens on a farm.

I saw the trailer, but it was in Spanish, so I don't know what it's about. It sounds like someone with big balls. Yeah, I think that's like a double entendre. I think it's like a chicken with big eggs. I mean, I think that is literally what it means, yes. With many eggs, I think. Lots of eggs. I saw The Mermaid in theaters last week. A yes. With many eggs, I think. I saw... Lots of eggs. Yeah.

I saw The Mermaid in theaters last week. A rooster with many eggs. What? I saw The Mermaid, the Stephen Chow movie. Oh, yeah, the Stephen Chow movie. It's one of my favorite movies of the year. It's incredible. We're really bouncing all around here. Yeah, but there's a moment in the film where there's clearly some kind of wordplay.

And I saw it in a theater and I was probably one of three Caucasian people in the theater. Everyone else was like a native... Oh, and most of the audience lost it? Yeah, they were like native Mandarin speakers, right? And you always speak Cantonese. I only speak Cantonese. And that always fucking bites me in the ass. But it's great for Wong Kar Wai. Yes, only.

But he's yet to hire me. What if Wong Kar Wai hired you? What if he's listening to this podcast? What if Wong Kar Wai just directed like episode three of the tech? Like he did like one episode of an Amazon superhero show one car. Why might listen to our podcast? Let's be honest.

If you're listening to this podcast, you're my favorite filmmaker. I would love to talk to you someday. Yeah, and I'm sorry that we intimated that Christopher Doyle was a jerk on our lady in the water episode, but you probably know that like you probably you worked in the long enough. You're probably like I know he's a piece of shit, but he's my friend. Anyway carry on the audience lost it in a joke. You didn't understand. Yeah, you probably know that. You worked with him long enough. You're probably like, I know he's a piece of shit, but he's my friend.

Anyway, carry on. The audience lost it in a joke you didn't understand. There's a moment where they're talking about he wants to go eat chicken. And he's like, what? And then they cut to her holding up two physical chickens. And the audience laughs because they're like, oh, she meant that kind of chicken. Not the other kind of chicken that we don't know. And then she keeps on talking. He's like, you want me to eat that already? And

she's like, yeah, but we have to pluck it first. And he's like, what? So this is like a big sex thing. It's a vagina thing. Is it like the turkey time joke in Gigli? It's something like that, but the audience was going fucking bananas. Like it was like the Beatles playing

Ed Sullivan. The audience was going insane. And then I looked it up afterwards and some of you said it was a slang for prostitute. But then the joke still doesn't track for me, which means I think every single word they were using had a different... They just had to remake the whole... You gotta pluck it first? It's like, pluck a prostitute. That still doesn't make any sense for me. Look, come on.

Not everything's gonna... Humor does not... No, I was just surprised because it was the one joke in the movie that didn't translate because he's a very visual filmmaker. It's a great movie. You should go see it. Anyway, The Visit was directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Also funny. His 11th film released on September 11th. We never forgot. It's very funny. Here's the setup for the movie that he paid for out of pocket. Two kids.

Two kids played by Olivia de Jong and Ed Oxenbould. Both Australian. Which is interesting. I'm nodding because I knew that. I didn't say it, played by Olivia Dijon and Ed Oxenbould. Both? Australian. Which is interesting. I'm nodding because I knew that. I didn't say it,

but I knew that. For the listener at home, Lewis knew that. I nodded. I knew that shit. Yeah. This film's about the two siblings. Much like this podcast

is about hashtag the two friends. Yeah, we didn't say that in the last episode. No. Fuck. We're trying to brand this. I don't know if you noticed, Lewis, but David and I are friends

and we think that's an interesting marketing hook for the show. Yeah. Is that we're the two friends who host a podcast together. Right, right. Because I think most shows don't have that going for them. Yeah, no, totally. It's like how Noah Ringer's Wikipedia page is that he likes to hang out with his friends. Because you never know what kind of person you're dealing with.

That guy could be a lone wolf. He could be a total lone wolf. We looked up Noah Ringer before we recorded this. Yeah, it was great. Just do a whole episode about Noah Ringer's Wikipedia page. God, what if we could fucking get him on the show? Have him on the show. Come on. Where do you think he lives? Uh, he lives...

Fuck, I was going to try to remember the name of the place where Last Airbender takes place. The Four Kingdom. He lives in the Southern Water Kingdom. He's from Dallas. Oh, okay. He rides in his flying buffalo. Yeah, I think you're talking about Appa. Jesus Christ, Lewis. Correct.

He's homeschooled. Anyway, back off of his pitch. Makes a lot of sense. Wow, that really tracks. All right. The visit. The visit. He's not saying mean things about kids.

Yeah, seriously. He's 19. Yeah, he's now an adult. That's true. So we can shit all over him. Yeah. Much like Tyler gets shit all over him in The Visit. Oh, good segue.

Becca and Tyler. Yeah. Teen. Becca's about 13. Two Australians with good American accents. Yeah, they don't seem Australian. Yeah, they're like 13, 10, maybe like 12, 9. No, I think he's like at least 11.

Yeah. I guess Becca's like 14. He had previously played Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible maybe, like, 12, 9. No, I think he's, like, at least 11. Yeah. I guess Becca's, like, 14. He had previously played Alexander in Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Not a film I saw. I think he's actually 12, I'm going to say, at least 12. Really? Maybe even 13. I'm going to keep upping his age.

Well, I think he makes a joke. The actor is now 14. He makes a joke that she, like, doesn't even have boobs yet, right? But I think he's supposed to. Remember that? It's early in the movie. Yeah, I hate that. Yeah, I know. think he's supposed to. Remember that? It's early in the movie. Yeah, I hate that. Yeah, I know.

So he's supposed to be hitting her on her. She's probably supposed to be like 14 or 15, right? He's saying like, So yeah, he has to be. He's 12. She's 14. His voice hasn't broken. So he's right.

But I think he's insecure about his lack of puberty because he's small. Let's all put our hands in the middle and just vow that for the rest of the podcast, we're just going to say they're 12 and 14. We're going to stick with that. Because he's small. Let's all put our hands in the middle and just vow that for the rest of the podcast, we're just going to say they're 12 and 14. We're going to stick with that. Alright, it's warm in here. 1, 2, 3, 12 and 14!

That didn't work. Works for me. No, that's good. I'm like Noah Ringer. I like hanging out with friends. And posting on your personal Facebook page? Yeah. So, Becca and Tyler two kids yep

they got a mom hashtag the two kids they got a mom they do got a mom who is name is Loretta played by the great Catherine

who kills it in this movie Louis are you with me yeah no she's great I mean maybe underused yeah I mean I just she's in my least

favorite part of the movie so it's like you mean the end the ending I think she's wonderful obviously least favorite part of the movie. You mean the end? The ending. I think she's wonderful, obviously. I think that her bit at the beginning where she's walking alongside the train and at first she's kind of jokingly walking and then she's running and then

she actually gets sad and starts crying. Catherine Hunt is the greatest actress. She's a great actress. She can do literally anything. She's got basically nothing to do there. Just fuck around for a second. There's one thing she can't do. What? Did you watch the Ab Fab American remake?

No. Pilot? No. Holy shit. Who was it? It was her and who? Look it up because it is It was Christine Heine Jessica. Someone else Just look it up. You gotta look it up because I don't remember. The pilot is online or maybe clips of it and is one of the worst things I've ever watched.

Oh, right. Kristen Johnson from Third Rock. Oh, interesting. It's horrendous. It's from about six years ago, I think, or seven years ago. That's the one thing she can't do. The one thing she can't do. Everything else she does is perfect.

They never should have tried to do that. No, it was a terrible idea. It's crazy. It's a possible task. It's not her fault, but it is the worst thing she's done. Yes. Yeah. I'll say this, though.

She's been very good in a lot of very bad films. That is true. Many times in the past stood out to me as like, that's an actual good performance in the middle of shit. What's your favorite Catherine Hunn movie? My favorite Catherine Hunn movie? Ugh. Jesus Christ. Step Brothers?

Probably Step Brothers. All right. That's my favorite movie she's in. I also, I think she's great in that. She's very funny in Step Brothers Probably Step Brothers Alright That's my favorite movie She's in I also I think she's great in that She's very funny In Step Brothers

But you know what I I would say Afternoon Delight I haven't seen Afternoon Delight That's on me That's good And she's great in it

And she's also great In Jill Soloway's Transparent Which is also She made Afternoon Delight I'll tell you the moment though That Katherine Hahn Really stuck in the craw for me

Sexy Rabbi in Transparent I haven't and Transparent. I've watched Transparent either. Do you know that? Amazon's not going to like this. That's actually true. Okay, but I have a Prime membership. Amazon.

So it doesn't matter what you watch. They don't care. They got the money. I'll sign up for Fresh. Yeah, I think she's great in lots of movies. She's in, what else is she in? She's in Anchorman. She's in Tomorrowland.

The one where she really stood out for me because I was like, this movie's not working. Oh, she's great in Wanderlust. This movie's not working, and she just like immediately for like five minutes imbued it with real life. The scene of her delivery in How Do You Know? Right. Is great.

And we were just talking about How Do You Know. We were just talking about How Do You Know, which is crazy. While you were watching this movie. As I have not thought about that movie in many years. Yeah. That is a great scene, though, where they ask Paul Rudd to film the birth, and then he realizes that, oh, no, it's her husband proposes to her while she, right after the

baby's born, in the hospital. She keeps on complaining about the fact that he hasn't popped the question. And then they ask Paul Rudd to film it and then he proposes and then Paul Rudd realizes he wasn't filming and they have to recreate the moment. How do you remember so much about How Do You Know? I don't know. How do

you remember so much? I don't know. I went in that movie with really high expectations. Even after the reviews were bad I was like but they don't understand it. I get James Brooks in a way that other people don't. Me and Jimmy are on the same wavelength. And then how did you feel after? Naive?

Yeah. I feel like a real dummy. I had a real poopy diaper on my face. And that's a segue to The Visit. Catherine Hahn, the great Catherine Hahn, has these two children. Her husband left her. And this is a recent scar that these kids are bearing. She was a young mom,

dropped out of high school, got pregnant. With her substitute teacher. Yeah, right. And her parents disapproved. Hated it. She delivers this all in a straight-to-camera monologue

at the beginning of the movie. This movie's not found footage, but it's... It is found footage. But here's what I like about it. But it is edited. You get the idea that the kids edited it later, right? That this movie is the finished... Which makes no sense. It makes no sense. But here's what I like about it. But it is edited. You get the idea that the kids edited it later, right?

That this movie is the finished. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. But this movie is the finished film that the character intended to make. Right. He wants to make like a, they say they're making like a documentary. I think that's like a, that's like, I mean, I think. It's a half measure.

No, I think it kind of is that. And like the musical cues line up with that. But at the same time, it doesn't make any sense if you think of it as like an edited film. There's no reason why she would have included the footage of her brother getting a shit diaper

in the face. Hey man. Look it doesn't track 100% but on the other hand if you watch like Chronicle and you're like this is just the moments they chose to turn

the camera on. I hate Chronicle for that very reason. I like it but I just wish it wasn't found footage. I think the found footage thing is such a fucking I'm gonna go fight him

in the sky. I have to bring the camera he like literally it doesn't matter. And I think the found footage thing is such a fucking... I'm going to go fight him in the sky. I have to bring the camera. He like literally... It doesn't matter. And they're levitating the camera with their powers. Like Paranormal Activity is the one where it's like the first Paranormal Activity is totally like a found footage movie because a lot of boring shit happens.

Right. They make it look like this is really just raw data from tapes. I think a lot of found footage works but it works best if you think of it as like someone pieced this together. It's not like any sort of edited version of Right. I like that the visit is like this was edited. I like that they up front are like

this is the finished film. Well I liked also that like when she had the camera toward the end it kind of made sense why. Yeah. She was using it for light. Yeah and M. Night also very cleverly I feel like gets a lot of mileage. M. Night's always been good at

getting tension out of cinematic space. Your sense of the size of a room, the proximity between people, and changing those distances and things like that. And he uses the fact that sound footage a lot to like, oh, the camera's here for some practical reason, which means you can't see everything or this angle's weird you know like he gets tension out of the limitations of it in a way that i think

a lot of found footage filmmakers don't but this is stylistically a huge departure for him very much so because he's been this very formalist very tight sort of like tied down not even that much camera movement kind of guy you know know, and very deliberately paced. And this film's a lot of handheld, like shot by Maurice Alberti, who's like started out in documentaries, now has become a fiction film cinematographer, one of the best.

Wait, I thought it was just the kids filming. No, Louis, no. Do they have someone doing it? Yeah, Ed Oxenbald was also DP on this film. He was camera operator. Yeah, he's second operator. That's why they had to find a kid from Australia, because they needed a kid who could both act and operate a camera at the year of 12.

12 is the age, yeah. We said it was 12. We said it was 12. We said it was 12. We said it was 12. So they are going to see their grandparents, who distanced themselves from their mother after she got knocked up by the high school substitute teacher or whatever. He left her for a younger woman.

He left her. She's going on a singles cruise or something. Yeah, she's not doing that. No, she's the guy. She's the new boyfriend. She's got the new boyfriend. But she's not been doing that high. And Han, she's perfect.

You get like, oh, this is someone who's maybe a little wilder in their youth, is more settled down now, but is not totally let that go. I love Catherine Han. And she also, you're getting the sadness without her playing it too overtly because all the scenes you're seeing of her are her performing for her kids and acting like she's happier than she is. Yeah.

But then when she gets on the cruise, they know, they know, they know. And you get the underlying sense of it. Okay. Out of my way. Once she gets on the cruise,

you're seeing these clips of her like actually having fun, but the opening fucking kids in the way without these bummer Aussie kids so she sends them to go see their grandparents whom she hasn't spoken to in forever right why did she send her 12 and 14 year old kids by themselves on a train trip to see these people she hasn't

talked to in like a decade yeah you'd think she would drop them off I guess the only cover is like well you, the wound is so raw still between her and her grandparents or whatever. It's weird. It's weird. That's one of those moments that I couldn't quite. I mean, it's a, you know.

It's the big hoop he needs for the twist. And you buy it, kind of. Yeah. Kind of. I don't know. Right? I mean, kind of. Kind of. Yeah. Kind of. I don't know. Right? I mean, kind of. Kind of.

Like, whatever. Like, the movie moves so sort of rapidly that you're just like, okay, all right, all right, all right. They get to the house. They meet them at the train station. They introduce them to the camera. Like, this is my- Oh, they have a little sign.

This is my Nana. This is my Pop Pop. Yeah. Which she came up with just then, right? I guess so. Yeah. Deanna Dunnigan plays Nana. Excellent performance.

Great actor. And Peter McRobbie plays Pop Pop. He's also a great actor. What have I seen Deanna Dunnigan in before? Is she mostly a stage actress? August S. Hitch County. The stage. I believe she won a Tony.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And Peter Okay. Yeah. And Peter McRobbie. I was just seeing him in Daredevil. He's in everything. You know, he's in Warwick Empire. He's in so much.

But rarely does he get to shove a shitty diaper into a child's face. Maybe never before. That is true. I think that happened on Warwick Empire. No, on Box Office Mojo to do a bit we did in last week's episode. This is the number one diaper to face movie ever made. Even adjusted for inflation, it's still number one. I would actually check that. I feel like that's possibly not true.

You're quite right, because there might be some kids movie where someone gets a diaper. You never know. You know what? You know what? I'm not going to Google diaper to face. Just don't even bother. You know what? Jurassic Park does have that scene where Jeff Gold Google diaper. Just don't even bother. You know what? You know what? You know what? Jurassic Park does have that scene where Jeff Goldblum shoves his diaper in Laura Dern's

face. We forgot that. Sorry. We all forgot that. I forgot about that. Yeah. It's gratuitous. That's a shitty scene.

No pun intended. I'm sorry. I did bad. Fuck. The grandparents picked them up. Negative four comedy point. The grandparents picked them up. Yes.

At the train station. Guess where it is? It's in Pennsylvania. Right outside of Philly. Every fucking M. Night movie just is in Pennsylvania. Is that like, he's like, it's a Stephen King main? Yes, exactly. Don't you wish that an after earth when they land and they're like, this planet we used

to live on. It's once called Philadelphia. I wish they'd just gone Philadelphia. You know, I told you that would have been amazing. They should have at one point, he should have found the sign. The Liberty Bell.

He comes across the Liberty Bell overgrown with weeds. Because you know in his mind he thought it was Philly. Yeah, well. It definitely was, I'm sure. So, we're on the Pennsylvania main line

or something like that. Do you think the first dance at M. Night's wedding was to Bruce Springsteen's song from the movie Philadelphia, The Streets of Philadelphia? Absolutely. Do you think he jerks off to that song? What a dark choice for a wedding. Terrible wedding song, by the way.

He just loves Philly so much. About AIDS and homelessness or whatever. The people who lived in Philadelphia hate that that movie was called Philadelphia. I know, like, finally we got a movie called Philadelphia. What's it about? What's it about? AIDS. Oh, I love Denzel Washington.

He plays who? He plays a homophobic lawyer. Okay, all right. Well, Tom Hanks, though. What's he doing? He's so funny. It's like if you made a movie called New York City

and it was all about institutionalized sexism. It's like, well, this is one thing. Where the movie takes place, it doesn't mean it's about New York. It is. Were they just like, you know? Isn't the plot of Slaves of New York? Right? Were they just like, oh, it doesn't mean it's about New York. It is. Like, were they just like, you know. Isn't the plot of Slaves of New York? Right?

Were they just like, oh, it's Philadelphia? Like, what was the conversation about titling a movie? Were they just like, you know. I think AIDS was still on the nose. Yeah. And they were like. And they thought about AIDS guy. And that sounded reductive. Right, right, right, right. He's more than an AIDS guy, goddammit. He likes opera. But that was the thing.

Big was so big, they were like, people like these Hanks movies with short titles. Bam. Good title. AIDS. Splash. Splash. Splash. What if it was called Splashing It?

All right, look. Guys. The Visit. He certainly made a big splash in that courtroom. The Visit. The Visit. It's directed by M. Night Shyamalan. It's his 11th film.

It was released September 11, 2015. Well, I think the reason We're struggling to get back on track With the plot of The Visit Is that it's not a plotty movie It's not a plotty movie But it's just such a good hook I remember when I saw the trailer for it

I was like That's a great idea for a movie Because who hasn't been afraid Of their fucking grandparents being weird Not I It's playing on that anxiety Of like oh you're in a new house You're a kid

And you're used to your routines And you know Maybe you're like with your grandmother And like her false like, oh, you're in a new house, you're a kid, and you're used to your routines. And, you know, maybe you're like with your grandmother and like her false teeth fall out and you're like, oh my God, she's a fucking alien. Yeah. Have you guys seen The Taking of Deborah Logan? No. No. I don't even know what that is.

That's also a found footage movie. Okay. Is it also Blumhouse? It's not. Okay. I don't think. It was in Netflix. I think it was straight to Netflix.

Looks creepy from the Google. Okay. So that's a movie in which, all right, he's turning the computer around. Oh, creepy. I don't think. It was a Netflix. I think it was straight to Netflix. Looks creepy from the Google. Okay, so that's a movie in which, all right, he's turning the computer around. Oh, creepy. Oh, creepy. It's a demonic possession movie, but it's about a woman making a documentary about Alzheimer's, following this woman around,

and the symptoms of Alzheimer's reflect. So it's very unclear if this is just dementia. And people keep saying, well, it's just Alzheimer's. Right like so it's it's very unclear if like this is just dementia and people keep saying like well it's just Alzheimer's right there's like like the behaviors that's like the

aggression and like the mood swings and like the weird nudity and all that stuff is like all explained by being old and having problems with your

brain and I feel like that visit does a very similar thing it works on that same thing and it's a very clever hook because it's

like it's already scary to spend time with someone who's losing their mind right and when it's an old person and you're like oh fuck this might just be them slowly rotting from the inside out that's what works about this sort of premise that they haven't

seen her them in a long time you know the mom hasn't seen them in a long time it's like she doesn't she can't say to them like well you know my mom is totally weird and walks around the house naked at night. It's too long for her. Maybe they're just going crazy. Maybe they're just old now. Maybe they're just getting seen now. Maybe they just spilled

pancake batter or whatever it was on the camera. This movie looks fucking scary, by the way. The Logan movie. Yeah, I really like that movie. You should watch it. Not right now. I'm not you should watch it not right now but no I'm not gonna watch it

right this second that's our first official Pites Pick all right Pites Pick Pites Pick hashtag it so yeah

pretty quickly the grandparents are pretty normal in the daytime yeah we should also talk about the kids does rapping

keeps rapping do we have to talk about that? well we just did I guess and your reaction says it all right? his name is T-Stylist Moneybags M. Night clearly you have to think

one of M. Night's kids is taken with freestyle rapping and he was like oh that's like what the kids do. I have to say, I wasn't super impressed by his pineapple upside down cake rap. No, it's not the best. It was not very good.

No. It's mostly impressed with itself for including pineapple upside down cake. I did appreciate that his sister called him out on his misogyny. Yeah, me too. I was like, good. And every rap with ho.

But also all his raps, they don't fit into the right meter. Like, there are always a couple extra syllables. He's not great. That's on M Night, though. Well, maybe he's supposed to be bad. Maybe he's supposed to be bad. There's the scene with the train conductor that is a bridge too far.

Yep. Like, we don't need that. Yeah. It's definitely like Liev Schreiber and Scarlett Johansson on Broadway. That is a bridge too far. That was a view from the bridge, my friend. God damn it! Oh, my God. I really pushed your button there.

It would have been such a good joke otherwise. It would have been such a good joke. Unfortunately, it's not even the most recent production. I know, there's a more recent one than just good. The more recent one was better. It was so good. It was so good. So good.

I just couldn't name a second act. I was on the stage. Me too. In the front row. Incredible. It was really great, yeah. Sorry, go ahead. Your co-worker, Rachel Sanders.

Shout out, Rachel Sanders. Worst joke of all time. All right. Hey. the front row is really great yeah uh sorry go ahead with your co-worker rachel sanders shout out rachel sanders of course more all right uh hey hey guys uh what so when i don't know i think the twist in this movie is obvious from pretty early on but i don't think it your enjoyment of the movie like agree i think you can it's fine like you can totally enjoy the movie i think that's the key to this movie is thatamalan made a twist movie again for the first time in a long time but he didn't like hinge the movie on it well here's the other thing you know something fucked up is gonna happen but I think that like

there's a lot of like false flags sure yeah as I would call them of like supernatural elements that you think might come into play but I think that just the fact that it's like there's so much effort made for Katherine Hahn to not see the grandparents that it just becomes pretty obvious that it's not going to be them.

Right. Well, okay, so this is my thing. First of all, the twist happens like 25 minutes before the movie ends. So whereas most of his films, he drops the twist at the end and it's like the final bombshell, this he allows essentially a full act to play out in the wake of the twist,

which is better, right? We get to see the consequences of that twist. But also, it doesn't really matter what the twist is, because it's so creepy by that point, and it's scary. It doesn't really matter what happens. It's a plot move. It's not the finale. They're in this backwoods town.

They don't have a phone signal. The doors are locked. And there's this rule really early on that's good. It's a good rule. The gremlin's rule of don't come out of your room after 9.30. That's when things go bump in the night. They don't say why or anything like that.

They don't actually say don't come out of your room at 9.30, do they? No, he does. The first time he just says, we're old, we go to bed early, 9.30. And then the second time he says, I really think it's best if you don't. Okay, yeah, yeah. It's after he sees the grandma barfing, like walking and just like spewing vomit down the stairs. I didn't see the twist coming, but it's because, and this is like me just being, you know.

You're overthinking it? Yeah, because I didn't know this was a twist movie, right? I'd only been told recently, like, oh no, it has a twist. So I went into it and there's the shit where she talks about the creatures in the water and stuff. Oh, right. And I was like, is he fucking gonna do,

are they gonna be aliens or something? Right, and then the grandpa, Pop-Pop, is talking about the little white person. The little man who's like following him around with yellow eyes or whatever I was really afraid it was gonna be something

a lot bigger and crazier sure I thought especially because of how much they pushed the oven thing in the trailer

they were gonna cook and eat I thought it was gonna be a fucking modern Hansel and Gretel I mean that's obviously what they're going for yeah but I thought

they were literally gonna make it like oh she's a witch and she's gonna put you in like a fucking modern Hansel and Gretel. I mean, that's obviously what they're going for. Yeah, but I thought they were literally gonna make it like, oh, she's a witch, and she's gonna put you in, like, a fucking candy cage. Like, I thought, because there were a couple things. They mentioned Candy Bunch in the beginning. They have her clean out the oven. I was like, it's gonna get supernatural. And I appreciate that it's just, like, they're crazy people. They're crazy

murderers. And the thing is, they're also dropping that. They drop references to the mental institution and to the fact that they volunteer there. But that's the thing, is, like, when that guy shows up and they're also dropping that. They drop references to the mental institution and to the fact that they volunteer there. But that's the thing. When that guy shows up and they're not there and he's like, they haven't been to work. I was just like, okay, so they're obviously dead somewhere. Let me also say, spoilers. Oh, yeah.

Spoiler alert. Guys, if you listen to this podcast, you know we talk about the whole fucking movie. I mean, I'm joking. I'm joking. Yeah, okay. It was like a winking kind of like, spoilers. Yes. Let's talk about the things they do before this twist, right?

So there's the grandma's like barfing all over the house. Yeah. She also gets butt ass naked. Butt ass naked. Stands against the door. What else? She plays hide and seek. Yeah.

In the most terrifying scene in the movie. Under the house. And I guess are they looking for something at that point or are they just kind of fucking around? The mom had told him that she liked playing hide and seek under the house. And so she just pops up in front of the camera and is like, ah! She's fast. She's on all fours. Scary.

Is that the part you texted me about? Oh, I texted Griffin that I startled someone awake this morning. Humble brag. All right. All right. Watching The Visit. No, it's fine.

No, go ahead. That's all I have. But because you yelled aloud? Yes, because it's scary. But it was that moment, right? I had seen it, and I was watching it again, and I was like, I won't be scared. But I was watching it with my earphones in. Which is really the craziest way to take in a horror movie.

Whenever I watch a horror movie on headphones, I'm like, I can't believe I'm doing this myself. It's horrible. But can we talk about like Nana's fucking book in it in that moment? Oh, she is. Because she's on hands and knees. She's moving at the speed of a scrunt. I mean, it is unbelievable. Scrunt speed, baby.

Unbelievable. Well, I think it definitely plays into the fact that like you think she's going to be some sort of creature. Yes. Because she seems very... At that point, I was like... In that classic Blumhouse... Yeah. I mean, that's a classic Blumhouse scare where something suddenly moves too quickly, basically.

Something like rushes at a camera or something like that. It's going to be supernatural. It's going to be a witch, an alien, something. But no. But after that, she goes back to normal, which actually makes it scarier. Because they keep going back and forth between being totally crazy and totally chill. They have episodes. When he wrote this script, the spec script, the title of it originally was Sundowning.

And they do have a reference to it in the movie. They explain at a certain point in the movie that it's a sort of like conditional dementia that kicks in when the sun goes down. Not a real thing, right? Is it not a real thing? I have no idea. Can we Google it right now? It is a symptom of Alzheimer's disease with confusion and agitation worse in the evening.

Okay. Perhaps a slight exaggeration of this. So it's like a form of, yeah. But I think that it preys upon that fear that we all have. Like really, really well. And it also makes it scarier because it's like this i can't i don't know but the high density thing is during the day yeah but also it's like not there's nothing there's nothing wrong theoretically with chasing

your grandchildren under a house no no i'm just saying the movie works with these ebbs and flows where it's like they can go back to normal any one scene and because they're saying like we're dealing with senility and we're dealing with this like daylight issue. Right. You never know what you're going to fucking get. You know, classic Forrest Gump style. So it's,

it works on that really well. Like it's a clever kind of fucking device. Right. Pop Pop has his moments too, but they're more like normal old people moments. Right. Pop Pop keeps on going off to a shed. He doesn't want them in the shed.

Then they get in there, it's a pile of diapers. And he likes to poop his pants and then put the diapers on the table. I don't think he likes to poop his pants. You're right. He loves it. He loves to poop his pants. And then he puts them on a diaper pile on the table. He also gets dressed up to go to a party.

He does. Yeah, he thinks he's going to a costume party. It's very sad Pop-Pop. He looks so handsome in that little tux. That reference will be gone in two weeks. I'm trying to ground this in the time period, guys. In two weeks he's going to be dead.

Sad Papa. Oh, boy. Sad Papa will have attacked his children with diapers. He's gone. They started stuffing him with burgers because they were like, he's the money maker! We're going gonna be famous forever sad papa

chicken parm this week alright anyway alright alright um yeah no what's the other thing

he does though because there's the diapers there's the tux I think he's also shot he thinks someone's following him so he like attacks a guy on the street

that's the thing that's the thing that's right yeah he thinks that there's like a demonic person following him, so he attacks a guy in the street. That's the thing. Oh, right. That's the thing. Yes. Right, yeah. He thinks that there's a demonic person following him. But all normal old people, scary old people behavior. Exactly. Exactly. And this is often the kids will go to the other grandparent, and the other grandparent

will say, oh, he's a little demented, or oh, he's incontinent. He's a very physical man. He's ashamed. He's ashamed that he's not as strong as he used to be and like why is she vomiting and naked oh she has the stomach flu why is she scratching at the walls well that happens so that's a great scene

right that's sort of midway through the movie they decide we're going to leave a secret camera downstairs to watch what happens at night and she's like wandering around I love that they have two cameras that he's just like why not just fucking give him a second camera two cameras yeah and then she just sort of pops up in front of the camera it's so scary it's great and gets a knife yeah and tries to go into

their room right and then it's just them closed door and they hear the scratching from the door it's great um great let's let's justormal Activity 3 except no Supernatural the best one? no which is your favorite one? I don't know I haven't seen them they also all blend together I've watched all those together

and all the Saw movies and I can barely tell you the differences to me with Paranormal Activity I agree on the Saw movies but for me 1 and 3 are great and the others didn't do anything I think I only saw 1 and 3 and I think I preferred three to one.

I've seen one through, I think, four or five. So you didn't see the ghost dimension? No. Is that what it was called? Yes. Did you see the marked ones? No. No, me neither.

I've only seen one, two, three, and four. So there were four numerated sequels, and then two, like... It goes one, two, three, and then the marked ones, then four, then ghost dimension. Actually, I'm going to say this about the Saw series. Is that generally, like, in the movie, like, the, um,

there's some sort of, the main plot in the movie, I can usually distinguish between them, like, what's going on. It's the overarching, like, terrible... The Saw mythology.

The mythology that's, like, it's, like, worse than X-Files convoluted. Especially since they kill him off really early. I think at the end of three he dies. Yeah, three I think it is. But then there's all this shit where they keep bringing him back.

So people who are dead are always alive and always doing shit. Luke Danes is in it for a while. He's in like three of them. For too long. There's seven saws, is that right? Kostas Mandilor What's this guy's name? I'm not making it up. It's something Greek.

Let me find it. Because now I feel like I'm not making it up. It's something Greek. Yeah. Let me find it. Because now I feel like I'm making up a name. Costa's Mandalore. I was on the right track. He's kind of the sub-villain, right? Like he sort of takes over. Or is he?

And he's a Mandalorian, right? He is a Mandalorian. Yes, from Mandalore. Star Wars. Shout out there. Shout out to Star Wars. Shout out to the bad Star Wars shout out there shout out to Star Wars shout out to the bad Star Wars movies fuck I totally lost my train of thought oh anyway Paranormal Activity 3 is the 80s one

and that's really good I was thinking the two girls in the bedroom and it's also the one with the oscillating yes the oscillating fan camera which is obviously completely ludicrous in terms of plausibility, but you have that shot of the sheet falling. I like that it's VHS.

Speaking of VHS, the VHS movies are great found footage movies. They have great found footage movies in them. Yes, exactly. And bad ones. And bad ones. Actually, the third one's terrible. I haven't seen the third one. It's terrible.

The first two, I think the two's better than one. What's the third one's terrible. I haven't seen the third one. It's terrible. The first two, I think, are very good. I think the two's better than one. What's the third one called? VHS Viral. Ugh. Which you know is going to be a fucking mess. Yeah, because the second one's SVHS, right? No, it's just VHS 2.

Oh, really? Yeah. I thought they called it SVHS. That's a more clever idea that you came up with. I think they talked about it. Yes, it was originally titled SVHS. This is my new segment where I come up with better titles for sequels. I agree that VHS 2

is better. I think they saw VHS 1 and then were like, okay, here's what we think. VHS 2 has the cult one, right? And also has the GoPro zombie outbreak.

Yes. So good. Yeah. Those are pretty fun movies, guys. The Visit, directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Independent horror

these days, you know? September 11, 2015. It's his 11th film. So there's lots of bad things happening. Oh, can we say this, though? Because we haven't set this up properly. The girl, the reason she's filming all this

is she's making a film. She wants to film her grandparents and get them to, like, forgive her on camera so she can make this film to show to her mom. To reunite the whole family. She's also really pretentious

and, like, has aspirations of, like of being a great filmmaker. Of course. She wants to win an Oscar. But yes, the other goal is that she wants to get an apology for her mom. Well, I think it's a double-edged sword. Or a note of forgiveness for her mom. But also, I think she's trying to understand why her own father left.

100%. There's that element. She both wants to... She's at a level of film obsession. they're left. There's that element. She both wants to she's at a level of film obsession. You get to that age where you're like, whatever I'm into right now, I think this is everything. Be it soccer or fucking filmmaking

or eating a pie or whatever it is. The things that Noah Ringer's into. Right. Exactly. Having a Facebook page. He loves it. You guys gotta check out Noah Ringer's Facebook page. It's Fredster. It's fucking Wikipedia. What am I talking about Noah Ringer's Facebook page. It's Fredster. I mean, it's fucking Wikipedia. What am I talking about? Snow skiing. He likes snow skiing. Something weird like that.

I got so worried it was water skiing for a second and then I realized it was snow skiing. Wait, okay, okay. But here's the thing. I want to go back to the thing about her dad. I just want to say this quick. No, okay, go ahead. Just before I forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're touching fingers. Uh-huh. The thing I like is that it's like at that age where you both feel like oh, movies are what I understand, so movies are the solution for everything.

If I want my mother to reconcile with her parents, I got to use a movie. And also thinking like kind of cravenly like, oh, if I'm trying to make good movies, this is really good. Right, right. But like I can use my family's suffering for the sake of my movie. Like I think it's a pretty well-written 14-year-old girl. Yes, I thought she was really irritating in a believable way. And using the big dictionary words is like I kept on thinking he was going to do some dumb

payoff with that. Like the way he does with like the water cups or whatever and signs. And I was like oh no she's just like a shitty kid who wants everyone to think that she's smart. Right. That rings true. Just like Shyamalan. Yeah that Noah Ringer is true. Lewis what were you going to gonna say I was going to say you

you have to wait a little bit because I'm gonna warm up to it I can't wait no I understand that like there's something connected with her making this movie with like coping with her dad leaving the family but that is a I thought that was like the worst part of the movie

is like trying to put that in there because I didn't ever believe there was a connection between the main story and the dad stuff. It just feels a little forced. And it's the one time that the found footage thing doesn't work because it feels like it's being forced into the movie. I agree. Especially in this sort of cathartic.

Well, there's just, yeah, I mean like I, it isn't really, what does that, what does it have anything to do with? Like it,

it wasn't like if she were, well, I mean, like, I, I, I, it doesn't really, what does it, what does it have anything to do with, like, it, it wasn't, like, if she were, well, it wouldn't make sense either, but if she were visiting, like, her dad's parents, then there would be something, like, trying to understand him, but it's not. Yeah. What connection do they have to this guy who, like, ran away with their daughter? Like, they have no, they don't care about the dad at all. And, like, they don't want to be part of, they weren't a part of that relationship. They didn't want to have any part of it.

So why would this help her understand why he left? i hear that i don't i just don't see any connection that kind of works right i'm just a big softy i'm like a mr softy you're definitely mr softy yeah i think it works i just think it could have worked a little better it's just everything else works perfect yeah so you know Let me talk about like, okay, so the happening M. Night like hid behind this defense of like, it's the best B movie ever. If you think it's bad, you don't get it. I was trying to make it like that. Yeah.

This movie is actually him being like, okay, I'm going to go pulpy. Yeah. I'm going to go B. This is a B movie. This is like a real B movie. Like if he wants to, yeah. And it's like he dropped all his pretensions, you know? He was just like, let me focus on character.

Oh, I thought you were talking about the Jerry Seinfeld vehicle. Well, he was the first director on board that. They pushed him off that because he and Jerry were fighting for the version of the film. Yeah. Oh, dear. Dear, oh dear. No, his take on the movie was very strange. You got anything?

He was, for what it is? Go on, go on, go on. They thought they were in a hive the whole time, and then at the end of the movie it turned out they were underwater. Okay. That was his twist. Also, Joaquin Phoenix is going to play jury sign. I just kicked someone at the table.

Someone. It was me. All right, I'm backing it, guys. I'm backing it. I'm backing it. No secrets. It was me. Hey, guys.

Hey. Yeah. What is it? It's a visit, September 11th. Never forget that it came out. 2015. All right. It was me. Hey, guys. Hey. Yeah. What is it? It's a visit. September 11th. Never forget that it came out. 2015. All right. 11th movie.

I want to talk about the weird lady who shows up because I like that scene. Celia Keenan-Bolger. Great actress. She's a great actress. She's a Broadway star. Three-time Tony nominee. She was in, what was she in? Bellingby.

Glass Menagerie. Glass Menagerie. She played under. She was in Saved right the Pirates of the Horizons but she was just in the Piazza

she was just in Glass Menagerie with Terry Jones I believe right she played do you think that sounds right

do you think Knight just sees like a lot of plays on Broadway he just loves plays because he's always hiring theater actors I think

they're cheaper well you know oh I'll say this too and he likes East Coast and I also think that this is sort of unfair, but I think when you're doing like,

I think they can often be a little more natural and in found footage type movies, like it works better to have people who are a little bit more muted in that way. I don't know. I will say this to you. His casting director on every one of his films, I think post Wide Awake,

he's had the same casting director on every film. His name is Doug Abel. And he is the artistic director of The think post Wide Awake. He's had the same cast on every film. His name is Doug Abel and he is the artistic director of the Rattlesnake Theater Company. Oh interesting. I didn't know that at all. He also cast Wes Anderson's movies but he doesn't do a ton of films. He does a lot of theater stuff. He was like one of the original producers of Avenue Q and stuff.

And so I think Knight perhaps defers to him a lot. Interesting. That guy's got really fucking good taste. Question answered. Yeah. And I think Knight perhaps defers to him a lot. Interesting. That guy's got really fucking good taste. Question answered. Yeah. And I think, you know, not all the directors he works with hire as many theater actors, but I think Knight might possibly, you know, he gets his one or two big stars in the top parts, and then he goes like-

There are really no big stars in The Visit, though. No, Katherine Hahn's the biggest star. Right. Good for her. And she gets to end Katherine Hahn, yeah. And he's paying these people out of pocket, too. Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. And she gets to end Catherine Hahn, yeah. And he's paying these people out of pocket, too. Yeah. Yeah.

Good for her. Good for her. God, what a great actress. Hahn. Hahn. Hahn! That was a Wrath of Khan reference for you guys. David waved his fist in the air.

It worked visually. Anyway, so this girl shows up, and I just, I mean, the scene itself is fine. I don't know if you guys have any opinion on the scene. Good scene. But the reveal of what happens to her, like, got me. So good. Yeah. That's great.

And it's like the best use of found footage, right? Where, like, we clearly see her body hanging from a tree. By the way, the third movie in which someone's hanging. Fourth. Fourth. What's the one I'm thinking of? Well, Sixth Sense, he sees the ghost hanging. I know.

The Happening, he sees. People from the tree. Right. And After Earth, there's a moment where Katai is walking by and he sees one of the other rangers hanging from the tree. That's right. One of the animals is hanging from the tree. You're totally right.

You're totally right. He's done now four movies of people hanging. He loves that visual jolt of someone hanging. It's like an homage to the hanging munchkin in The Wizard of Oz. That's not a real thing. Creepypasta. Yeah. The original Creepypasta. That is the. Creepypasta. The original Creepypasta.

That is the original Creepypasta. It's a crane. It's a shadow of a crane. Is that what it is? Yeah, I don't know. No, it's like a shadow of equipment. No, it's like an actual crane, like a bird. But the ghost... Oh, really? I'm pretty sure if you look it up, it'll say that it's a

natural bird. But the ghost in Three Men and a Baby is real. Or Three Men and a Little Lady, whichever one it is. You mean the cardboard cutout of Goodiver? Or is it Ted Danson? I don't remember which one it was. It's of Danson because there was an abandoned plotline where Danson was in a commercial

where they gave him a cardboard cutout and they cut out the scene where they established the cardboard cutout and they're like, that thing's creepy. Just hide it there. They literally had a scene in the movie that explained the thing and then cut it out that was the only other shot where the remnant existed I didn't know they took the hanging munchkin out of Wizard of Oz like in like a DVD re-release wait what does it say it is I thought it was something about like a bird yeah I gotta look it up. Snopes will tell me.

It's also on the creepypasta. Great. Is it weird that every time I hear creepypasta I get hungry? Is it weird? Yes, you're correct. It's a bird. Maybe a peacock. Like the birds were wandering around. Okay, yeah. Is it weird that I watched the new PB movie and thought about

Slender Man the whole time? No. Interesting. That's all I'm saying. Very interesting. I'm gonna go down a creepypasta that I watched the new PB movie and thought about Slender Man the whole time? No. Interesting. That's all I'm saying. Very interesting. I'm going to go down a creepy pasta wiki hole tonight. I just know it. The Visit was a 2015 movie directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

What date did it come out? September 11th, 2015. Oh, fuck. I forgot. Oh, boy. Are you enjoying this, Ben? I've been tuning out. I'm sorry, guys. I forgot. Oh, boy. Are you enjoying this, Ben? I've been tuning out. I'm sorry, guys. I just feel like Ben's made 9-11 jokes in the past. Yeah, I have. That's true.

That's two in a row. I do, but I feel like you guys are really hitting it enough where I don't need to interject. I'm sorry, Ben. I'm sorry. All right, okay. Wait, who is that? Oh, boy, here we go. Okay, yep.

Is that Producer Ben? Yeah, hey. I've been here the whole time. I'm just, you know, working on some other stuff here, guys. But it's been great so far. Producer Ben? Yeah, hey. A.K.A. the Benducer?

Mm-hmm. A.K.A. the Poet Laureate? Some call me that. Some call you the Haas, right? That's true. Mr. Positive? I mean, yeah, I can be a positive guy. Birthday Benny?

Not till June. The Tiebreaker? If there's something I need to settle, I will. Producer Ben Kenobi? Right, that's the Star Wars reference. Kylo Ben? Yeah, that's the more recent Star Wars reference. The peeper? I do like to watch. People

do not call you Professor Crispy. If they do, if they see me on the street, I might get aggressive. But if they see you on the street, if they see you in the sheets, they should call you the fuckmaster. If they see you on the street, if they see you in the sheets, they should call you the fuckmaster. If they see you on the street in the sheets, what does that mean? I fucked up. You're trying to

give them a new nickname? If they see you in the sheets, they should call you the fuckmaster. But if they see you on the streets, they should greet you with a hearty hello fennel. Great. That's the end of that. Please do. The Visit. 2015. September 11th. M. Night Shyamalan movie. Oh, M. Nightalan movie oh i'm not direct i forgot that i'm not directed this okay so this girl shows up

oh my god guys come on we're an hour in please let's get somewhere with this she shows up at the door i don't remember what she wants she's made them a bowl of creepy pasta. She's made a creepy pasta casserole? She's an addict. She's a recovering addict. And they counseled her. And she wants to thank them. But they're not home. Conveniently enough, they're on a walk.

It's like the one time they leave the house. No, it's also when the guy stops by. Every time someone comes by who would be able to recognize them as not being them, Yeah, it's like the one time they leave the house. No, it's also when the guy stops by. Oh, that's right. Every time someone comes by who would be able to recognize them as not being them, they are on a walk. Well-timed walk. But then the dad, I guess, does talk to her. Do we not see that ever? Have the grandpa talked to her at all?

No. No, they do. It looks tense. And she's clearly saying, like, where are they? Yeah, right, right. Who are you? Right, yeah. And then, of course, they hang up on the tree. And then they're like, follow me this way. And she's clearly saying, like, where are they? Yeah, right, right. Who are you? Right, yeah. And then, of course, they hang her from the tree.

And they're like, follow me this way. And she's like, okay. And then the next time we see her, she's dead. Yeah. Just for a second out the window. It's such a great shot. It's a great shot. Yeah.

It's when shit is about to hit the... It's when the diaper is about to hit the... Right. They know that the grandparents aren't really the grandparents, and they're trying to escape. Yeah. And it's before they, I believe it's before they found the bodies, but it's when, you know,

at a certain point in this movie, basically, they're starting to get really weirded out. They show them to the mom. Right. And she's like, that's not my grandpa. What's the timeline? Because she's like, I'm going to call the police and drive over there, which is going to be a long drive, we're told. She doesn't get there, and the police get there

when she gets there. So there was no other police station she could have called that would have been able to get to them faster? Sorry, I'm just saying. The closest police precinct was also... There were cops on the cruise ship with her. So I think she just was like, can you jump in a car and try to beat me there? No, but she calls the local police station.

They don't answer. Yeah, you hear them basically be like, please call again. I'm like, you can probably find another near like real city and they can send people over because it's dark out by the time it's like nighttime fully. So I assume this hour has passed. This is the police precinct. We can't get to the phone right now because we're too busy being folksy.

I just imagine Barney Fife coming and, you know, solving the problem. We forgot. We forgot the you know, solving the problem. We forgot the pancake batter thing. Or the biscuit. She makes cheddar biscuits. She makes biscuits and gets it all over the webcam. So perfectly placed, though. Yeah.

So sorry. Do we think that she did that on purpose? I don't know. It's that weird sort of thing where all these coincidences line up, or are they all supposed to? I don't know. See, because I don't know how she would have thought to do that you know right so it seems weird but it's also so ridiculous that she would have spilled it on the camera only it's like not on the keyboard it's not like and it stays there for the rest of the movie there's just a smudge of batter until she's able to uh you know but see

i like all those coincidences for me are totally forgiven because the tone of the film it's such like a i agree you know a um it is so shamelessly just trying to like entertain like it's like a showman movie you know i'm not i don't think it ruins the movie but i do think that like with found footage because you have these moments that are like a little more realistic that you wouldn't see in a normal movie sort of stuff right so it can be harder sometimes to deal with like the those plot holes because you kind of are in this world where, you know, and the fact that it's not supernatural, it's just like crazy people.

So, you know, I think about things like, why are they always out of the house when someone stops by? I agree. When they're never out of the house otherwise. Yeah, the found footage thing works against it, but he gained some latitude from it being like a Jerry Seinfeld DreamWorks animation feature. God damn it.

That's all I have to say about that. Hashtag the two friends. No. I'm sorry. I was just reading a quote from Shyamalan that I wanted to bring up because we were just talking about this. Where he said he cut the film. The first time he cut the film it felt like an arthouse movie rather than a horror film. And the second time he cut it it just felt like a comedy.

Now I don't know what he's talking about because I don't know how this could ever look like an arthouse movie but I could see how it could play a little more like a straight comedy. I thought it was a dark comedy.

I think it was a very dark comedy. I think it ends up with yeah it's like a horror film with like a lot of comic notes. The Yahtzee moment is hilarious. The Yahtzee moment is great. The Milton Bradley Hasbro fight is like my favorite thing.

It's great because it's like the sister's just like just why are you fighting this It's great because it's like the sister's just like, just why are you fighting this at this point? No, it's the sister's fighting and the brother's like, just shut up. Just forget it, forget it. It used to be Parker Brothers, or Milton Bradley, but then Hasbro bought it.

And he's like, who fucking cares? And I'm like, I do. That was me watching it. I was like, I know what toy companies bought what other toy companies. I'm the toy master. That's my new character I'm working on. He has that voice. I hate it. I was like, I know what toy companies bought what other toy companies. I'm the toy master. That's my new character I'm working on. He has that voice.

I hate it. You think he's grating? Really? I was trying to make him orally pleasing. I wanted to say- I'm the toy master. Don't say orally pleasing. No, you are.

No, I understand. Orally pleasing. Wait, what was I going to fucking say? Oh, no. This is the kind of movie everyone laughs through right yes like when you're in the theater

everyone's laughing you guys didn't see it in theaters no so I saw it in theaters I saw it at the Vista in Los Feliz congratulations

have you been to the Vista no I don't think so it's like an old style you know movie theater oh that's awesome it's like a big

it's a big movie theater it's a single theater and the uh the guy who owns it is like stands outside dressed up as characters from the movies that are there oh I know which guy you're talking about I've never been there though it's a single theater and the uh the guy who owns it is like stands outside dressed up as characters from the movies that are there oh i know which guy you're talking about yeah i've never been there it's like they have a lot of like like any sort of like uh indie like ucb comedy thing like they premiere everything there yeah um anyway i saw it there so it's like

always a good audience uh and yeah people were uh a lot. And then there was a loud yelp at the poo in the face scene. Indeed. We're getting to it, guys. Don't worry. I feel like that could be another podcast entirely. Yeah, poo in the face. Poo in the face. Yeah, no, I mean, it was definitely, I thought of it, yeah, it's a comedy in a lot of ways.

It's like a rollicking horror movie that makes you laugh. It's a good combination of nervous, uncomfortable laughter, conscious jokes, things that go so far beyond the pale that you have no choice but to laugh. Getting in the oven stuff is so ridiculous. Just really get in there. We were talking about how his fucking earlier movies were funny. Yeah, we were.

We were just talking about it. But for you, it would have been a week ago. And then they got so dour and then this movie like brings back the laugh. He's getting it back and you know, like maybe not every joke lands

and maybe we could have done with less child rapping. Agree. But like, That's my number one note. First pass. M. Night. My favorite internet comment

of all time, this is a total tangent, is when someone, there was an article about Roman Polanski and someone in the comments said like i can't believe that anyone would support this child rapper and it was like it's so genuine it was so obviously intended as genuine and it was like the idea of roman polanski's it's a terrible joke

obviously but that's like when you're when you're watching one of those maddie b videos on youtube when the comment says like i hate this child rapist. Oh my god. Wait, rapist would have been a better punchline for that. Fuck, scratch it. No, it's still funny. It's all good. Maddie B. You guys know Maddie B?

Yeah. Okay, great. My name's Roman P and I'm here to say I'm having a tragic life today. He's doing fine. That's my impression of little Roman P. But as a little boy, I'm saying he would be tragic. I was trying to set it at the time.

Given that he raped a teenage girl in a hot tub, I think he's doing okay. Yeah, but I'm talking before that. Right. I get it. There's a Holocaust survivor. All right. I think I was understating it by saying I'm having a tragic life today. I think I got him off pretty easy.

Let's not get into Holocaust jokes, too. Jesus, I already feel bad. Okay. All right. Good podcast. Yeah,, too. Jesus, I already feel bad. Okay, all right. Good podcast. Yeah, thank you. Hey, guys. The visit. 2015, September 11th.

We remembered. Okay. What else happened? Oh, I just accidentally clicked on the Wikipedia entry for art film, by the way. Oh, what does it say? Give me the opening sentence. An art film is typically a serious independent film aimed at a niche market rather than a mass market audience.

Okay. So like Paranormal Activity. It's an art film. Well, like two because it's a prequel. So they figure it out. No, two airs is like at the same time. Oh, it's a parallel call? It's parallel.

Yeah, that's what's sort of weird about it. Anyway, the visit, what happens is they eventually find out that it's not their grandparents. Right. And it really gets seen because I think Katharine Hall plays it so well because she's like, she has to like keep it calm and keep it together, but she's like totally freaking out. But she's also obviously like, it's okay, I'll just call. I'm going to make a phone call to the police right now. You know, but she's trying, yeah, she's trying not to alarm her kids.

She gets in a cycle. She can't stop saying Becca, Tyler. She's like, Becca, Tyler, Becca, Becca, Becca, Tyler. Katherine Hahn is wonderful in this movie.

Hahn. Hahn. So, and so then they go to the basement, right? When do they go to the basement? Yeah, the sister goes to the basement then. She thinks the grandparents

are being held down there. Well, and she goes to the basement. Right. He's playing Yahtzee. He's playing Yahtzee. Right, right, right. They split up at this point. Right, I forgot. And she's to the basement. Right. He's playing Yahtzee. He's playing Yahtzee. Right, right, right. They split up at this point.

Right. I forgot. And she's in the basement. Because Pop Pop's like, everyone loves a board game. Well, we should at least talk about the fact that even after she finds this out, when did she try to get that final interview?

That's before. Before. That's before. That's the one right before. Because she still finds the elixir there. Right. Then she says to Mom, we're ready to go home. She's still scared,ixir there. Then she says to mom, we're ready to go home.

She's still scared, though. Yeah. But she has to get the forgiveness. She doesn't want to go home until she gets the apology from the grandma, which she calls the elixir. So there's this interview where the grandma talks about creatures in the water. Whenever she asks the grandma about the past, she starts shaking and screaming. Totally normal behavior. And so that's why she hasn't gotten this elixir yet. I think that scene is really well written.

I think the scenes are well done, yeah. Yeah, but that scene where she like, the daughter has to frame it to her as a story and be like, what character would you relate to? I think that's a good piece of screenwriting. Okay, so. And Deanna Dunnigan's really terrific at it. Really fucking good, yeah.

Why do you think, aside from the fact that it's convenient to the plot, that the fake grandparents are like able to be so normal at the start and then get increasingly crazy. Yeah. I think you said that it's a plot contrivance. I do also think that whatever their psychosis is, and it's not 100% defined, right? Yeah.

Is breaking down, right? They've just accomplished this. Well, she calls them schizophrenics. I mean, they're delusional. Sure. They're schizophrenics. But like- However it works exactly. Right. Like if they're trying toional. They're schizophrenics. But however it works exactly,

if they're trying to act out some sort of normal behavior with these kids, like they want to play grandparent or something. There's something really strange about the fact that they were able to work together, leave the hospital together, escape together. Murder two people. It isn't quite work, and that's fine.

But I guess I was wondering if it's actually they really wanted to have this normal week, and then it's toward the end when they're going to be leaving that they know they're going to have to kill them or is it like less conscious? That's a pretty good read. Well, I like that. That's a good read that they know that this can't hold. And like, so that's making. He says in the basement, he's like, you know, I wanted to give her a good, I told her it

would be a good week because she like lost her kids when she murdered them. Right. And this is a real bummer week. It's a tough break. So real Polanski of a situation. Yeah. She lost her kids when she murdered them. Which is a real bummer week for her. It's a tough break. That was a bad week. A real Polanski of a situation. But they do, they go so crazy at the end that you're kind of like, how are they ever normal? Good question.

Yeah, I mean, I like your read that the fact that it's coming to an end is making them lose it. My first read was the sort of in line with David where it's like, okay, they were in a hospital. They were probably being medicated, treated. Oh, I like that too. They're sort of coming out of there. That's's like, okay, they were in a hospital, they were probably being medicated, treated. Oh, I like that, too. And they're sort of coming out of there. Yeah, that's good, yeah. The film spans a week. Right.

We're to presume that they only took over a day or two before the kids get there. Right, because Catherine and Hannah had been communicating with the grandparents. Sure. Like, when the plans were made, it was the original grandparents, because they say in the basement, your grandparents kept on coming by and talking about what great kids you were how excited they were to meet you right that's of course the attachment they have right that is defined as yeah

so they knew these people we presume that the nutso's came in like the day or two before let's not call them nutso okay the cuckoo shoes that's that's uh yeah okay that's fine um Nana and Pop Pop uh they came in fake Nana Fanna and Pop-Pop, came through like a day or two before.

The film spans like a week, I believe, right? So by day seven, it's like, A, they know it's coming to an end. B, they're incredibly stressed out about the fact that they might get caught. C, they haven't been medicated in a while. D, they're not undergoing treatment. I think the medication thing is actually like a really good,

I enjoy that as a theory because it makes total sense. It's that medication, like psychiatric medication lingers in your body for several days. It's not weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think the stress of the situation probably. And then I think the fact that the plot calls for it. The plot does call for it.

They also do commit a third murder. I mean, the dad does. The grandpa does, at least. And maybe that's not helping anyone. No. We don't know who killed her. That's true. Maybe someone is still at large. Well, I meant more that Nana could have done it.

Oh, I suppose. Sure. Right. Sorry. It's just because she's talking. Nana's fast, as we've noticed. I mean, so there are these two simultaneous showdowns. Speaking of Nana, there's, well, first I guess they're in the garage and they play this tense game of Yahtzee. Yeah, which is not a board game. Let's just call it as I see it. It's not a board game.

What is it? It's a game. It's like a dice game? Where's the board? I mean, look, fine. It's fucking dice and a shaker. But, you know. Is Uno a board game? No, it's a dice game? Where's the board? I mean, look, I'm fine. It's fucking dice and a shaker. But, you know... Is Uno a board game?

No, it's a card game. So, Yossi's a dice game. Well, okay. There you go. I'm just saying, we're parsing over... And who made it? Well, who made it or who now manufactures and distributes it? Okay, so the point is...

The point is that... The split up. Yeah, Pop-pop Locks Jesus Becca Yeah In the bedroom Yeah

And her grandma's in there Yeah And she basically tries to eat her Yeah Right Yeah yeah And whereas Then he goes downstairs

And he puts a diaper In his fake grandson's face Yeah A lot of fake poop On that on the young boy's face. I mean, he loses his mind at him, too. You know what's so funny? Yes, but they like... Because they already lost their mind.

They totally established the fact that this kid has a germophobia problem. Right. Related to the dad for no good reason. Or they explain it. He's trying to get control of the situation, which is like, I think you can pay a TV therapist to say that. It's a Dr. Phil thing to say. Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Anyway, but they set that up, I think, just so they can have the poop in the face scene. That's what we call a shit justification. Thank you, Ben. Don't you feel like that was just for that one moment? Yep, pretty much. Don't you think that anyone getting a diaper in the face would be as horrified? Yeah, I don't think you need that.

I think that works in a nutshell. Out of context, it's still like, oh, I don't want an old man's poopy diaper on my nose. Do you know what I would have done if I was Pop Pop? And he was pooping a lot. Do you notice how much poop was in that diaper? Oh, so much poop. Oh, my God. And a lot, a lot, a lot of diapers.

You know what I somehow missed when I saw it in the diaper. Oh, so much poop. Oh, my God. And a lot, a lot, a lot of diapers. You know what I somehow missed when I saw it in the theater, maybe because people were laughing and screaming and stuff, is the sound of him defecating during the Yahtzee game. Wait, really? Yes, yes. During the Yahtzee game. You hear him pooping. He poops.

Wow. And then he goes, I have to go. Oh, yes. I missed it the first time, and I was like, oh, I can definitely hear the poop coming out. He poops. There's a wet fart sound. Yes, there is.

Do you know what I would have done if I was Pop Pop? Increase the volume on that. No question. If I was Pop Pop. Pop Pop did ADR for this movie. Yeah, Pop Pop did ADR. He was the sound re-recording mixer. Not the actor, the character.

The real Pop Pop who the film was based on. Shyamalan took a gamble. He took a gamble, and it worked. He rolled the dice. You could say he played Yahtzee. Yeah. No, go on. Shyamalan took a gamble. He took a gamble and it worked. He rolled the dice. You could say he played Yahtzee. Yeah. No, go on.

People say he's crazy. Crazy like a fox when it comes to that soundboard. Pop pop. If I twirly pop pop in the basement Sure.

facing down Thailand. Would that it twir so simple. Would that it twir so simple. I take two handfuls of duty from that diaper, or I would wrap the diaper around his head, Geordie LaForge style, or Lobot style.

So like around. Yeah, no, we get you. Right, either the front or the back. Shove that poop in his ears and go, hey, this is what it feels like when you wrap in front of us. That would be maybe a little on the nose. That's so good, though. Thank you.

Like a Lobot. He's just got the diaper around the back of his head. When they reboot this film. Yeah. Actually, when Gus Van Sant does his remake, shot for shot remake. Yeah, his hot teenager version of this movie. He's got a linger on those bodies. He could do a shot for shot remake.

Yeah. But just change up with the diaper thing. Yeah. You know how like Vince Vaughn masturbates in Psycho? Like that. Right, so just little tweaks. Yeah. So you know what happened?

In the Gus Van Sant version, he'd low-bought the poop around his ears. He'd say, this is what it feels like when you rap. And then the camera would slowly for two minutes pan down the poop dripping down his body. And then there would be an intercut of like a naked woman with a blindfold. And then the shower sequence. You have to show him showering the poop off. You know whose movies I hate a lot of? Walt Becker?

Yeah. Do you not like Gus Van Sant? He just hasn't made a great movie in a while. I think, I mean, I've gotten angry at more of his films than I have at other. Interesting. Like, Psycho made me angry. Yeah, well, Psycho blows. I'm a big Psycho fan.

That's a silly opinion. Elephant made me angry. I like Elephant a lot. Elephant is horrible. I like it. Elephant is not a film that I have seen in 13 years, however long it's been now. And I really worry about how I feel about Elephant

these days. I remember liking it when I was 17 years old. Go on, please. I remember thinking of it, it was like exploitative garbage, like before school shootings were like a daily thing. And then I was like, oh look, the killers are making out in the shower. This is fucking terrible. Elephant's a movie. We could talk about it.

We could talk about Gus one day. Has he ever done a movie without a shower scene? Milk? Milk doesn't have any showering. Does it definitely not have any showering? I don't know. It has bathing. Yeah. They're in a pool. Everyone bathes. You know. Guys. Everyone bathes. Everyone poops. Let's not make assumptions

That is true Everyone does poop But wait Oh Psycho's great though Psycho's great We should do a Psycho episode Let me talk about a blank check Whoever did the sound mixing

On Vince Vaughn's Masturbation scene Did a great job Do you remember That That's some I think it was the same guy Who did the sound mixing

On Benny Hill Yeah it totally You should see Dude Psycho is so good you should see dude psycho is so good you should see psycho again maybe yeah yeah

it was just someone taking silly putty on a newspaper really fast the slide whistle I like that he was like he's not psycho

he's like I don't think that the weird psychosexual attention is clear enough I'm gonna have him masturbate on the wall Some guy's gonna slam his ham in this movie Alright That was good

The visit So this movie came out, what, September 11th 2015 Okay, so the showdown between The showdown between The grandma, and Becca, they don't show very much. You talked about how it's not very violent. And actually, both showdowns, you don't see really the aftermath of their, but the kids

do murder the fuck out of them. Tyler crushes Pop's head. Tyler really loses it. I mean, which is fair. The guy did put a diaper on his face, but he smashes his head in a doorway. She stabs her with a mirror shard. We don't really see what she does, but we assume that she's, like, you see that she's stabbing her. Yeah.

Also, she's, like, under the bed at one point, Nana, and her, like, hand reaches out. It's pretty cool. And she's, like, giggling, and it's great. Yeah. You know what? She seems like she's having a good time. Yeah. She's, like, she's crazy in a fun way.

She's like having a blast being psychotic. And hers is the better executed part, I would say, of the showdown. I would say the grandpa part works less. Also, okay, I'm always, I was confused both times watching this as to why Tyler was standing there, not moving. I guess he's just freaked out. Yeah. But he's standing like on a thing.

Isn't he like standing on something or is he like- An apple box? Is he though? I feel like he was, I don't Yeah. But he's standing like on a thing. Isn't he like standing on something? Or is he like- An apple box? Is he though? I feel like he was, I don't know. In my memory like- No, you're right that he's standing there and it is a little- It's very awkward. And the thing is like when he gets the poop on the face, that to me explains why he's

not moving because he's like so freaked out. He can't move. He's still like freaking out about germs. Right. But before that, why was he literally standing there? He's not tied to anything. He's not like... The pop-up is yelling at him.

He's kind of like sort of ranting and raving. I know. You're right. He's a crummy kid. He sucks. He fucking sucks. Yeah.

You can't freestyle your way out of every situation, you know? Anyway, they kill the parents and then they run out of the house and the cops are there. And the movie ends. And that sequence, I think, is really well done.

It's so good. It's very well done. Very well done. With a callback to the music they're going to use. Yep. The dramatic, ironic score. Yes. Okay, so you don't like this final scene where they do the final interview with Catherine Hahn. No, I hate it.

I think the movie would have been so, if the movie had ended with them running to the car and that music swelling, it would have been perfect. And a very B-movie ending to have that score. I don't disagree, especially with the B-movie stuff. No, I think Catherine Han does a very nice job with the scene, but it does also put a button on something that I feel

like we already got the button. We already kind of get it. You think it's gilding a lily a little? A little bit, because she's basically directly saying you don't have to, you can forgive him. And then they intercut in the footage of the dad. Also, there's no... Because the grandparents aren't actually her like, there's no, because the grandparents

aren't actually her parents, there's no emotional closure at all. I mean, she mentioned, she basically. Her parents are dead. Right. Right. She says like,

I could have gotten forgiveness whenever I wanted, whatever, it was never, you know. But at the same time, like. She also, she talks about like,

she hit her mom and her dad hit her. Like when she left, there was this like. We learned what happened. There was like a hit triangle. But why, yeah, it doesn doesn't actually I still don't understand it's not earned at all that moment

and then like I agree we get those footage of them as kids with their dad yeah and I mean handsome dad handsome guy Benjamin Keynes is the name if you're a substitute teacher and you're gonna run off with the student you're probably pretty hot yeah let's be real yeah cause substitute teacher has a pretty basic job.

You know what I'm saying? You've got to be good looking to overcome. Because you're only there for a few days to really get in there. You've got to really make a quick impression. But Jude Cain, who was a stand-in for Mark Wahlberg in Invincible and Shooter and the other guys, and for Jude Law in My Blueberry Nights. But not The Happening? Not The Happening.

But My Blueberry Nights. My Blueberry Nights, though. The best one, Carlyle movie. Blueberry Nights. My Blueberry Nights, though. The best Wong Kar Wai movie. Oh, my God. Yeah, definitely. My Blueberry Nights is like... Maybe we should do Wong Kar Wai, because My Blueberry Nights is out of its mind.

No, it's so bad. You don't like pie? I love pie. Look, I love pie. I'm a pie guy. But My Blueberry Nights is crazy. Natalie Portman plays an old Southern gambler in that movie. I do like that.

She's like 24. Yeah, but she has an old soul. She has an plays an old southern gambler in that movie. She's like 24. Yeah, but she has an old soul. She has an old, old, old soul. She plays like a Dolly Parton, like a bad Dolly Parton. She's essentially playing like a later Jeff Bridges character. Like literally. She's like, oh, look at me, sweetie. I've been around these parts so long.

Is that Nora Jones in that movie? Yeah, she's the lead. She's a great actor. You know what I love to read? She's so good in Ted. Is she in Ted? Do you remember that scene where she's in Ted? I haven't seen either Ted movie.

There's a scene where I think Mark Wahlberg has to win back Mila Kunis and so Ted's like I got a plan. And he brings Wahlberg to a nora jones concert and i think walberg gets on stage and makes apology to her i don't know whatever the scene is they go backstage in nora jones concert and it's implied that ted nora jones used to date uh-huh and they talk about fucking she fucked that bear she fucked that bear but there's an earlier part in the movie of a penis no he fucks he there's oh god do they actually go into the

mechanics of this yeah there's an earlier part in the movie. He works at a grocery store, and he is trying to get fired, and whatever he does, the manager only likes him more. And there's one part where they walk in, and he's fucking another employee of the grocery store with, like, a parsnip. Like, from the produce section,

he's holding a parsnip to his crotch. So he's not really getting off on it. It's just like, it's like a psychological thing. Yeah. Like he's asserting his dominance. He's a little type of putting a parsnip in the vagina. So he has like a,

he uses like a strap on in his relationships. I think so. That was the weird part. So he's, he's, yeah, okay. Yeah,

but Nor Jones and, and, and he had some sort of sex. Perhaps with a vigil. The only bit of Ted I've seen is the clip from ted 2 where he sees the field of marijuana leaves and the jurassic park score plays which david erlich made me watch saying like ted's awful tattoo is even worse but this scene will make you laugh and i was like i don't think i see and i laughed out loud i was very angry like i i didn't see ted 2 i hate ted

1 there may be two sequences I think are genuinely very funny in that movie. The fucking hit to miss ratio. If you're making a joke every 4.5 milliseconds, you're going to get a couple funny things. No, I agree. Have you seen, I'll show you that clip. I'll watch that. There's one bit in Ted 1 I've

rewatched on YouTube a bunch of times because I think it's really funny. The rest of the movie I think is pretty despicable. Especially the part where they make me watch a teddy bear have sex with a woman using a vegetable. A vegetable? The grossest of all vegetables. The parsnip. Are you sure it's a parsnip? He says to the

he goes, Ted, I like the cut of your jib. And the guy, and Ted looks at him and he goes, I fucked a woman with a parsnip. And he goes, you're promoted or whatever. Ted says the words I fucked your employee with a parsnip. And he goes, you're promoted or whatever. Ted says the words, I fucked your employee with a parsnip. Right. Okay. Garbage money. Okay. Legalize Ted, though.

The Visit is a 2015 film that came out September 11th and was directed by Namna Chamlin. We all liked it. To put this in context, this was only like three months after Ted 2. So the fact that this film was able to because people didn't really want to go to the movies. You know, it's like... It's a post

Ted 2 world. Yeah. Yeah. It's a PTT film. We all like it. It's a good movie. It's a weird place now because it's so different than his other films, you know, which were... And it's hard to know if it's going to lead to more films of this quality or if it's just going to be a weird blip

where it's like... I don't think it's going to. I feel like it's going to follow to more films of this quality or if it's just going to be a weird blip where it's like, I don't think it's going to. I feel like it's going to follow the Blumhouse route where you make one good first movie and then you fuck up the sequels. This doesn't feel like the 11th film by someone. I'd love a visit sequel where it's like,

hey, also, your dad had some grandparents. You should totally hang out with them. If you saw this movie and they said, this is an upstart director, this is his first film, you'd go like, this guy's got a lot of potential. I know. Absolutely. I find found footage often hard to judge.

I think so too, but I think there's enough inventiveness in this film. Right. There are enough well-written scenes. Well, he's written it, yes. As a writer-director, yes. Yeah. I don't know if a director alone I would be like.

But that's the thing. I would watch that and I'd love to see him do a non-found footage movie. Right. We know this next one isn't found footage, but we also know nothing else about it. So I wonder, like, stylistically, is he just going to revert back? Is he going to go back to the well? You know? I mean, it could still be a thriller, but be a different type of thriller.

Are we going to get a twist? I don't know. M. Night. M. Night. I can't. We're done with him. Actually, it hasn't hit me until now. Look at that block.

Oh. Yeah, let's do a bonus episode. We'll do one. We're starting to miss him now. We'll do one. We'll do one. Guys, don't worry. We'll do a bonus.

That little rascal. That little rascal. Minaj. Are we done? I think so. I want to read a couple of reviews. I just checked our reviews. M. Night's such a little stinker.

But it made like $60 million, $100 million. Great job. And here's the thing. You've been here for six hours, right? Yeah, that's correct. $60 million is the same amount that After Earth made, but it was like $5 million, and it was lowered expectations, and it's all about the perception in Hollywood. Of course.

You know? Yeah. Like, it's not just about, like, okay, he made more money this time, he lost more money. Well, also, this movie has no stars in it. Right. Like, no stars. Right. Except for Han.

Yeah. Who's a star in my heart. Yeah. Yeah. He was a star in my heart. Yeah. Yeah. I even remember the, uh, I think it was AMC. Whenever AMC theaters played the trailer for this movie, there was like a message from M. Night before it. I think I remember that, yeah, where

he's like, hey guys, I'm making this now. Here's my new film about grandparents. He was like, don't spoil the twist ending. Yeah. Like, very Hitchcock. It was, but it, I made that up. He didn't say don't spoil the twist ending. It'd be great a regal first look? Very Hitchcock. Dude, I made that up. He didn't say don't spoil the twist ending. That'd be great though.

What if he did a Psycho style trailer where he's like this is the house. Have you seen that? Hey, I'm M. Night Shyamalan. This is where my next film is set. I don't think it was even like He like gestures to the shed.

Yeah. You're gonna love this shed. Yeah, because that's what Hitchcock used. There's something very interesting. No, have you seen the Psycho trailer it's the greatest thing in the world

where he's treating it like it's a real thing yeah everyone should watch it six minutes long it wasn't even like the regal first look

thing it was like when you sat down in the theater you saw four normal trailers and there was the green the following preview has been approved

for all ages thing and then it was M. Night Shyamalan my next film is a creepy thriller about grandparents on behalf of AMC theaters I hope you enjoy the trailer oh it was an AMC theater thing I think it was not going like, hey, I'm M. Night Shyamalan. My next film is a creepy thriller about grandparents and the bishop. On behalf of AMC Theaters, I hope you enjoy the trailer.

Oh, it was an AMC Theaters thing. I think it was AMC specific. I didn't ever see that, and I felt like they were trying to avoid the M. Night Shyamalan thing in the marketing. Sure, it's not in the marketing very prominent. It's not hugely, I mean, his name is much smaller in the poster, and on one of the posters the tagline is, a new original thriller from writer-director

M. Night Shy shan law which feels like a weird thing to push the original thing but it felt like they were trying to be like his plagiarism uh right claims in the past i think they wanted to remind you that this hasn't been done before yeah i like the embroidered poster though it's cool with the weird sort of like it's fun it's cute it's cute it's cute um i don't know I would just love to see like this was such a departure from him. I don't want to see him make another found footage movie which we know he's not doing right now. I just want to see him experiment with each film.

I want to see him try different stuff. Maybe he is. You never know what Last Airbender 2 is going to look like. Oh yeah. He claims he's so close to production. And that Noah Ringer is so built. He did an interview when he was promoting The Visit saying that he's doing this next movie. He's doing Split.

Is that what it's called? Yeah. And then the plans to do that after that. M. Night That will not happen. Also because Noah Ringer is too busy hanging out with his friends and up thinking of Facebook. He's so busy.

To make a movie. And snow skiing. Folks. Like soccer. Can I read a couple of reviews? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just looked at our reviews and there's one really good one.

Okay. This is a five-star review by Asseater1Official. Oh, good. I thought it was one of those imposter accounts. No, this is the official Asseater1 account. It's not a parody account? Okay. Here's the title of the review.

Where is this review? On INDB? On iTunes. Oh, cool. No, I'm talking about reviews of our podcast. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Of our podcast. Oh, great.

So let's just say goodbye to M. Night Shyamalan for now. Oh, M. Night. Okay. We'll do a bonus. Yeah, we'll do a bonus our podcast. So let's just say goodbye to M. Night Shyamalan for now. Oh, M. Night. We'll do a bonus. Yeah, we'll do a bonus. Now I miss him already. We'll do a bonus.

And check out whatever we're doing next. I don't know, I mean, are we going to go right to Wachowskis? Well, that's the question.

We might do a one-off. I had an interesting one-off idea. I don't know. We'll talk about it after this. No, plan on the podcast

right now. Yeah, we're two weeks ahead now so we have time to figure out. When are you free, Graf? Yeah,

whatever, whatever. The next episode will come out a When are you free, Graf? Whatever. The next episode will come out a week after you're listening to this. We just haven't planned it out because we're in the past and you're in the future. Boom. Ass Eater 1 official. Okay. The title of this review is, I told her I'd make this.

The review reads, I checked this out because my mom made me. It's okay. What? Who? Whose mom is listening? Who is your mom? Please get at us. Blank check pod on Twitter. I really hope you get a comment from Ass Eater Mom. Official.

Official, yeah. Mrs. Ass Eater. Also, this is another one-line review. There's another long review from a guy called Dickolas Cage, who's very nice. Great name. Good listeners. Who's got a lot of things to say. Maybe we'll get back to him sometime. But this is a one line review from

Jeffrey Tambor's brother. It's called, it says Techno Union Support. And says the Techno Union's army is at your disposal guys. As are my ear holes. P.S. More burger stories from Ben please. Ben! Oh. Do you have a burger story for us?

Sure. I used to work at the Spotted Pig. And we have a new segment called The Burger Report. It's not new. We forgot about it like the last three weeks. Yeah. But we're bringing it back. We did two weeks, though.

Lewis, this segment is if you have a story about seeing a famous person eating a burger. Oh, have you seen a famous person eating a burger, Lewis? You live in Hollywood. In Hollyweird. I'm thinking. Okay. Well, Ben can come up with one. I'll jump in on one. He worked at a burger. You live in Hollywood. In Hollyweird. Uh, I'm thinking. Okay, well, Ben can come up with one. I'll jump in on one. He worked at a burger place, so he has tons of stories.

And then if you have one by the end of Ben's story, please share. Okay, so this is, uh, I'll try to keep this brief. But right around the time when LeBron James announced. Oh my god, are you kidding me? That he was going to be going to Miami. I'm so excited about this story. He also announced he was going to the old homestead.

He then, I think he was in Connecticut. He came to New York and partied at the Spotted Pig in the private VIP third floor area. Wow. Okay. So this is like a Sunday night. I am genuinely starstruck right now. I'm loving this story. And so I was just kind of assisting with just setting up. They had like a private cook and a bartender that was exclusively working their floor.

And so weird thing number one is he had a guy show up and cut his hair in the middle of the room. Weird. Definitely weird. And so I had to sweep up his hair. Did you save the hair to auction off later? I guess I should have. You totally should have. You totally should have. I really should have.

Really should have. Did not plan ahead, no. Weird thing number two. Okay, weird... Great. Weird thing number two, all of his friends just were smoking weed

and blunts and that kind of, you know, we'll like allow that, but they were like doing it to a point where it was like wafting into the rest of the restaurant. It's not Senor Frog

because you can't do anything. Yeah, you know, it's like you can kind of do what you want because you rent the space but you can't get like crazy with it. Do you know that Senor Frog technically operates under maritime laws? I did not know that. Weird! Weird number three! What's the weird thing? Okay,

late into the night, they're all fucked up, right? And they ask me to go let somebody in at the side entrance, right? Yeah. So I opened the door to the street and there are probably like 10 to 12 really high class expensive call girls. Yes. Oh boy. Okay.

This is a salacious story. Do you guys have a lawyer to check these before you release them? I love this story. No. I got a lawyer. Remember I sent her the contract to look over before you sent her a deal and she never wrote back to me. She said I'm not going to waste my time on this.

Wait so 10 to 12 high class hookers. Well they're call girls David. Come on. And so, well, call girls, David. Come on. Sorry, sorry. Ladies of the night. Ladies of the evening. Apology.

So the stairwell is very steep, okay? And I was a gentleman. That's not what I expected you to say. No. I'm a gentleman. I make sure to let them all in before I shut the door. Gentleman Ben, yeah. And I make sure to then, you know, follow behind.

And when I look up, I notice that none of them were wearing underwear because I could see their booties. Wow. So anyway, that was a fun time. Damn. Yeah. That's the life of a very, very, very rich person. Also, him and his friends ate a hamburger or two. Wow.

I think that was tacked on. Much like the emotional coda of The Visit. Of The Visit? A little tacked on, honestly. The Burger Report. Lewis, do you have a famous burger story or do you want to leave it there? No. That will be tough to top.

I saw Alex Borstein at the counter once. Love that. Okay, that works. Love that. I'll say this to you too. Love Alex Borstein. Love that story. I'll say this, and we've said this before.

Open offer. Any past guests of the show anytime they have a burger call in text in I know I could do better I know I could do better

than Alex Borstein I love Alex Borstein but I'm saying I just know that I could probably if I thought more about it you spend a lot of time in New York

you spend a lot of time in LA you go back and forth between the two right these are hubbubs hot spots hubbubs are both

celebrities and places with fancy burgers I mean I I just don't go to places with burgers I don't eat burgers I mean, I guess I just don't go to a lot of places with burgers. I don't eat burgers. Not a burger guy. This is what I'm saying to you.

Right. Anytime in the future. Okay. If you just have a burger store, you want to get it on here. You see a fame note, call me, leave a voicemail,

we'll put it on the podcast. Thank you, I will. And listeners, please write in with your burger reports. Yes. I had one this week, but it wasn't very good, so I'm not-

What is it? It'd take too much time to explain who the person was. You know Andrew Andrew? No. their performance art collective of two guys who dress up exactly the same and go to events together definitely not let's end the story there I saw one of the Andrews it's the only time I think they might have split up so it's like seeing Teller yeah if Teller was not Penn and Teller but Teller and Teller and the bit was that there were two Tellers.

Do you think Teller's such a dick as Penn is, or is he cool? No, I think he's pretty chill. I think Teller's cool. Penn's a monster. How could you be a bigger dick than Penn? Have you heard that Penn's an atheist? Yeah, but you know, here's a real rumor I heard going around that I don't like. People say that Ricky Gervais is an atheist.

I was going to make this up. This is slanderous. That's unfortunate. There's no basis for that. I just think that Ricky Gervais is just too hot for TV. I just think that's the thing. You give that guy a glass of beer

and you put it in front of the microphone, who knows who's going to say it. The thing about him is he says the thing about a celebrity that no one else will dare to say. Which is that they're stupid. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. Like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are famous, but he still makes jokes about them. I know. Everyone else, of course, treats them like hallowed royalty. Of course.

Yes. They are never, they're unimpeachable. The thing about him is there's just no, there's nowhere he won't go. There's nowhere he won't go. Yeah. That guy. I mean, when he made The Office, I was like, wait, he's making fun of offices? But that was just the start, you know? That seemed crazy at the time.

Like, oh, wait, like paper and shit? Like printers? I was like, what? And then he just got crazier and crazier. Come on the podcast, Ricky. I have a serious question. Please. Did you ever watch that show Penn and Teller Bullshit?

On Showtime. Right. And like, it started off really normal, and then it would get really libertarian. Like it would be like, it would be like, you know, bullshit on like, you know. Paying taxes. It was like bullshit on creationism and then it was like bullshit on gun control. And I was like, okay, this show's taking a turn. Yep.

That's all. Well, thanks as always to Penn and Teller. Please come on the show. And to Ricky. Penn and Teller. And to Tricky show. To Ricky. Penn and Teller. And to Tricky Ricky. The people are called Tricky Ricky. Every day.

Every day. That's how he's introduced at the beginning of every Golden Globe ceremony. Ben likes that one. I like that a lot. Yeah, and obviously join us next week for whatever it is we're doing. And the Wachowskis are coming in the future. What are we going to call that one? The Podchowskis? Yeah. Well, look. If we're doing. If we're doing and the Wachowskis are coming in the future. What are we going to call that one? The Podchowskis?

Yeah, well look, if we're doing I think the Podchowskis. I think if we're doing an M&I bonus, which I think we're going to do, it will come out next week. But we might record two Wachowskis as a palate cleanser and then go back to M&I because we're feeling a little M&I crazy right now. M&I crazy! But we have that lot too because we're

ahead. Was that the Crazy Taxi voice? Yeah, that was the crazy. Come on, guys. Pick your car and drive her. I just did exactly what it says. Let's go out there and have a crazy time. Yeah. Who was your preferred Crazy Taxi character?

Oh, I can't fucking remember. Oh, I was a B.D. Joe guy. Did any of you ever play Simpsons Hit and Run? Yeah, it was a ripoff of Crazy Taxi. I didn't because I had integrity of Crazy Taxi. Okay, Lewis. Wait, but who was the one that I had a crush on? I definitely had a crush on one of the drivers.

There was kind of like a skater punk with green hair. Yeah, that's green hair. I forget his name. Irvon Dutton. That was a very... And then there's like a sort of like a cool black guy, and then there's like a sort of portly middle-aged gentleman, and then there's a girl. Andly middle-aged gentleman, and then there's a girl.

And her thing is that she's a female. I'd always pick the lady. Gina is her name. Wow, good pull. I've played a lot of Crazy Taxi in my day. I still have it on my computer. What's that song that they... The Offspring song? It's the one that goes yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't remember what it's called. You drive me crazy.

Taxi. whenever i think about eighth grade i just think about that and i think about uh the tony hawk pro skater and the song was what was the song um oh there's the one fucking like uh uh the kidding of the goldfinger it was the goldfinger song yeah what's oh fuck how'd that song go i know exactly what song you're talking about. We're gonna play it after. Ben, can you look up Goldfinger Tony Hawk? Lewis, is there anything you want to play? Oh, well, my podcast is over, so not that. But it exists

forever on the internet. It's true. I have a podcast called After Smash, which I co-host with my friend, Matt Pivovarczyk, and it's about the show Smash on NBC. It was limited run, and now it's mostly over. Do you know I used to be Teresa Rebeck's neighbor? We can talk about it off mic. We will talk about a lot of things off mic.

Do you know that I very nearly got cast as Leo on Smash? I do know that, Griffin. Well, thanks for having me on as a guest. Maybe if you'd actually been cast. I was so close. You were in Brooklyn, right? You were in Brooklyn. Yeah, I was in Brooklyn.

Yeah, he's in the borough of Brooklyn. Yeah, exactly. Once in a while. You know what I meant. Yeah, funny joke, Lewis. We know what he meant. I just think you can have Emory Cohen's career

if you just push a little bit harder. He's a great actor. Who knew? Okay, sorry. Follow me on Twitter. You had Megan Holtsey on the show, right? We did have Megan Holtsey on the show. She was so great in

Wiz is Off, which I just saw, which she was one of the best performances of bad acting I've ever seen. Like, you know, a good performance of a bad actor.

That podcast exists forever. Yes. Your writing can be found on BuzzFeed. Sure. Internet is written in ink. You are Louis Peitzman, Louis Peitzman on BuzzFeed. You're not Louis Peitzman, right?

No, Louis. Louis Peitzman. I want to lend our viewers. With an S. With an S. Louis. On Twitter? Yeah. Follow your work. Just follow. On the stuff S. Lewis. Lewis. On Twitter? Yeah.

Follow your work. Just follow. On the stuff? Follow me on Twitter. Yeah. Follow me on Twitter. Follow me on Twitter. Follow me on Peach.

I'm at Nintendo. I am. I'm Dorothy Spornak on Peach. What is fucking Peach? I heard someone reference it the other day. It's a new thing? It lasted approximately one night. No, my friends, I still have three friends who use Peach consistently to post their darkest

secrets because no one's on it. And your name's Nintendo? Yeah, I snagged at Nintendo on Peach. That's really good. And I only post GIFs for movies that I am watching late at night. Good. Yeah. That's been my bit so far.

I'm realizing because it's two weeks ahead. I'm doing a show at Union Hall on April 22nd. Oh, wow. Two days before my birthday. Really? Mm-hmm. It's part of a monthly show I do with my buddy Joe Garden

of The Onion called The Griffin Joe Holiday Spectacular. Yep. Joe Garden still has not been on this podcast. He will be someday. He brings it up every week.

Every week. Yep. But we do holiday specials, like old TV holiday specials with a bunch of cool guests. Yes, they're great. And our guests are still being locked down.

But April 22nd is the next one at Union Hall. It's the Griffin Joe Earth Day Earth-tacular. And I got a plug. It's really hot in here. Yep. And we're going to quit the episode right now.

It's the end of that. So as always. As always. Ben, do you have the Goldfinger song cued up? Oh, yeah, sure do. Can you play it? Yeah. So as always, keep on rocking a Goldfinger.

Yep. Holding on to what I have. Pretending I'm a Superman. Griffin, how you doing okay do you have the poster ready so you can do the stupid fucking thing great then please

don't cut that out okay put that in at the end of the episode sure a little bonus yeah put that in a bonus after we play the theme song okay sure so right now

what I'm about to say next is going to be the last line of the episode, and then what I say right after that will be the first line of the episode. Okay. This is the end of the episode. This has been a UCB Comedy Production. Check out our other shows on the UCB Comedy Podcast Network.