Blank Check with Griffin & David - We Bought a Zoo

Episode Date: August 22, 2016

Griffin and David this week discuss 2011’s zoo dramedy, We Bought a Zoo. But does the film live up to it’s title? Does someone actually buy a zoo? Together #thetwofriends examine the performances of Elle Fanning, ScarJo and John Michael Higgins as ‘Bad Zoo Boy’, propose better titles, the most embarrassing movie you’ve cried during and ghost Moms.

you know sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane podcasting. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing podcasting. And I promise you, something podcast will come out of it. Oh my God. Hey everybody, my name is Griffin Newman. I'm David Sims. Welcome to Blank Check. This is a podcast in which David and I, a film critic and cultural writer, and an actor, comedian, respectively.

I was going to say respectively so that the positions were clear. Analyze the filmographies of important directors. Who make big creative projects. Yeah. That work or don't. Yeah. Sometimes they got a big success early on. They get a so-called blank check to cash in on crazy passion projects.

Premise established. Premise established. We do mini series. We tackle different directors and we're completists. We go through the whole filmography. And right now we are talking about one Cameron Crowe. This miniseries is titled We Pod a Cast. Yes. And we have come to the moment that everyone's been waiting for.

The titular episode of We Pod a Cast. We're going to talk about the 2011. Comedy drama. Talkie. We Bought a Zoo. Yes. And to join us in talking about that film is no guest, but the third member of our triangle.

Now, David, of course, you and I are hashtag the two friends. That is correct. Thank you for mentioning that up at the top. Because we're good friends and we host a podcast together, and that is our hook. And there's two of us. There are two of us. Mm-hmm.

Yes. But there's a third man. There's a third man. Playing the zither in the background. Yep. Harry Lyme himself. Talking about cuckoo clocks. Is that what he talks about?

Yeah, something like that. He produces this show. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Producer Ben. I mean, that's, yeah, of yeah of course you're gonna call him producer ben because he's the producer but he's also the pro doer he's also the ben dooser he's the poet laureate

he's yeah you remember what to do we've cut one name out of this mr haza do nice so this was suggested by listener and a friend of the show uh Patrick Kotner, Walks the Walk Kotner, who suggested we combine the Haas and Mr. Positive into Mr. Positive. There was a lot of hand-wringing, I guess for the sake of time expediency. Which so far is working out grandly. And I plan to explain this every episode from here on out. We are now going with Mr. Positive. He's also Birthday Benny.

He's also the tiebreaker. He's the peeper. He's the fuckmaster. He is not Professor Crispy. Nope, not yet. You can wish him a hello fennel if you see him on the streets. Yes.

Of New York. Concrete jungle where bends are made of. Absolutely not, no. And he has some podcast specific names I want to Concrete jungle Where Ben's are made of Absolutely not No And And he has some Podcast specific Names Reflecting our history

And culture And society In this podcast Yes Producer Ben Kenobi Yes Kylo Ben Yeah

Ben Knight Shyamalan Yes Ben Sate Yes Now My friend Dan Daddario Uh huh Television critic for Time Magazine

recently suggested Save Anything as his Cameron Crowe which it's like he messages it to me and I'm just like how did we not see it and he came up with the last one too right did he come up with Bensei I don't think I can't remember who came up with Bensei

and that's unfortunately lost to the sands of time forever we can never figure that out but I feel like there were a couple other contenders we're just unfortunately lost to the sands of time. Forever. We can never figure that out. But I feel like there were a couple other contenders. We're just getting close to the end of our miniseries. I mean, we're seeing

the sunset. And we're gonna need a new name for Ben. Yes. I mean, you had me at Hello Fennel I feel like is more of a phrase than it is a name.

Yeah, I don't think that can linger. Yeah. Say Benny thing. Benny Lane was thrown out. Benny Lane is good. Benny Lane is good. Here's the one thing

I don't like about Benny Lane. There's obviously so much association with the beatles there and it might not sound like it's it's proprietary it's not he knew the miniseries and it's a real person's name too which he which he borrowed and we want to show respect yes we're gesturing to the air conditioning system of this studio yeah the aspca offices which are on the 10th floor of the building we're currently recording i think i think they're actually on the 8th floor. Who's on 10? Ben, who's on 10? Who's on first, Ben?

Ben 10? What is that? Who's on first? Wait a second. Wait a second. David, 4 million comedy points. Okay. All right.

To Abbott and Costello. Not to you. 4 million comedy points to Abbott and Costello. Good job, Abbott and Costello. Remember that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip episode? You're going to listen to this and you're going to laugh and laugh. Where Nate Corddry tells his parents to listen to it, who's on first? What is he, a time traveler?

Can we do an entire miniseries just on that scene from Studio 60? Have you ever seen Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip then? I have not. Okay, so it was a fucking Aaron Sorkin. It was a weighty drama about the production of SNL essentially. But then in episode 2 they established that SNL exists, so they're

mad TV. This was the same year as 30 Rock. It came out the same year on the same network, on NBC. And they were like, I can't believe NBC would pick up two fictionalized SNL shows. And everyone was like, but the Sorkin one's probably going to last. And the Tina Fey one won't last. That's a favor.

They're doing that as a favor and it's not going to last. And then, of course, Tina Fey wins like three comedy series Emmys in a row and Studio 60's canceled after one season. We're sidetracking before you can get onto the thing, but I have to tell this story. Oh, no. I did a summer program at NYU at Tisch, right? When I was in high school. You've talked about it before. In this film program, right.

Yes, yes. How they locked us in. Yeah, you've talked about it before. Right. And listener, friend of the show, Chris Cookson, pointed out that we actually did see like 10 movies as a group that summer and I was wrong when I said we only saw one. Makes sense. You are a liar and a fabulous.

That is true. I am the Donald Trump of this podcast for a reason. Can I say something else? This podcast does not endorse Donald Trump. It doesn't. We've said it before. Or his antics. We'll say it again. Don't vote Trump. You pointed out that Ben earned those fucking nicknames by

doing miniseries after miniseries, right? If Donald Trump comes up here and asks us to hand him a fucking miniseries nickname like like it's a goddamn purple heart go it's a lot easier this way fuck you donald trump james candelfini come on come in and where the wild things are off the rails this is terrible don't trump you want to fucking all right you want to fucking get a nickname you gotta come in you gotta work you gotta hit the streets everything i have a serious. You got to come in. You got to work. You got to hit the streets every day.

You got to work on the ground floor. I have a serious question for you. Yeah. If Donald Trump wanted to be on this podcast, would you let him? 100%. Okay. So you're as craven as Lorne Michaels. No, no, no.

In all seriousness, I would not. I would not. I don't respect his opinions. What do I want to hear him fucking say about Aloha? It's fair. You know? You know, I watched a while back this weird clip of him on Letterman in the 90s, in the late 90s, because he's in the film Celebrity, the Woody Allen film, for like half a second.

And he's talking about the film, and he's like, it's very good. You know, like he's trying to sort of, and it's obvious he hasn't watched it. He maybe saw his scene. Yeah. And then he starts bragging about how Leonardo DiCaprio is like an incredible actor. It's just weird. What a weird guy. Do you think he watches movies?

What does he do? I don't think so. Although he was very angry about these new Ghostbusters being women. Was he angry about that? Oh, he was one of the first people to go. Oh, yeah. No, yeah. He has the vine.

They're talking about recasting Indiana Jones and now the Ghostbusters are ladies? What's going on here in America, you know? Yeah, yeah. That's not even a good James Gandolfini. No, now I'm trying to just do a whole other thing. You're just doing a bad thing. I feel like I'm doing a bad impression of Paula Tompkins, bad impression of Cake Boss. I'm James Gandolfini.

I've got a pretty good Bob Duca. Let me hear your Bob Duca. She can't. Six glorious months. It's not perfect. It's not perfect. I've been saying six glorious months. It's not terrible.

I can't. Anyway, I was doing it. My roommate, ex-roommate now, recently discovered Bob Duca, so I've been batting around a lot of Bob Duca lines. Can I get back to important matters here? Kevin Feck. I can't quite get... Anyway, go on.

Yes. When I was in this NYU summer program... Yeah. They had guest speakers who were trying to let us know as 15-year-olds what the film industry was going to be like. And who was your guest speaker? It was... I don't remember his name, but he was a gentleman who worked in programming for HBO.

Okay. Right? Oh, this is so off the rails. And usually there were guest lectures, but this is such a good story I have to share. Just finish it. Finish the story. He said, look, I know most people come here

and they do a whole lecture first. I just want to show you something, and then we're going to talk about it afterwards. This is a pilot episode. It hasn't premiered yet. It's going to premiere in three months of Aaron Sorkin's new show

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip and a bunch of us turned to each other and went oh my god because this was like the most hyped pilot

of course he was the West Wing guy and the pilot the buzz was off the charts sure right and we went oh my god

holy shit yeah let's just start it oh my god we're getting right there we watch it everyone applauds at the end. Because the pilot was pretty strong.

The pilot is okay, although now if you go back and watch it, you see all the problems. You can see the signs. But it does still kind of work as an hour of television. It basically moves. And it's got some really good scenes and the performances are really good. And he goes, okay, so now that you've seen that, here's the point of my lecture.

My question is, what do you possibly program against Studio 60 at the Sunset Strip? And the thesis of his lecture was, any show that goes up against this is doomed. It's like Kevin Durant joining the Warriors this year. It's like everyone's just like, you know what? Let's take the year off. Let's take that off. He said, no one is not going to want to watch this.

It has a ton of beloved stars. It's interesting subject matter. It's going to work for men and women equally. It's political. Yeah. It's artistic. I mean I just

I just it's insane to think back. He was like this is a juggernaut. Yeah. I want you as a creative exercise to think what do I

programming on HBO what could I possibly put on a Monday night against this. And that was the entire lecture was people suggesting. OK.

Is that the end of your story? It was a different time back then. Yeah. It was an anecdote. It was a different time. 2006. Yeah. Anyway, Ben Hosley is here with us today. Hey, man. Let me tell you guys. What's our running time right now, Benny? 45 minutes? Uh, well, about 10. Okay, good. Okay. But, uh, hey, you know,

guys, I'd buy a zoo. Hey, I'd buy a zoo. Hey. I'd buy a zoo. Would you? Yeah. I would too. I would too. And I was trying to think of a more clever transition to even bridge it.

But no, let's just talk about this movie. The year was 2011. Okay? Yeah. Cameron Crowe has been off the map for years. When does Elizabethtown come out? 05 or 06? I believe 05. Am I wrong about that?

Was it 06? Yeah, no, 05. 05. So in between Elizabethtown and We Bought a Zoo, he had made two music documentaries. One about Pearl Jam. Yes, Pearl Jam 20. And then The Union.

Which is about Elton John and Leon Russell I believe. It sounds right. We're debating whether or not to cover those. We're not going to cover those. They had both, we're not. In the name of not hemorrhaging listeners I think that's the big thing. But they both came out, honestly they both came out in 2011 so yeah he'd been pretty

quiet. I feel like he'd been writing liner notes for album reissues. A lot of that. And kind of, like, hanging out. He started his own. I don't know if they did a bunch of releases, but I know he started his website, The Uncool, and they started posting a lot of stuff on there, and he started blogging a lot, writing things for other releases and stuff like that.

He also, I know he released, because I bought it, like a vinyl pressing of the Harold and Maude soundtrack, which had never been released in any form before. Cool. Because most of that soundtrack is Cat Stevens songs that were on different albums. They never bothered to release a combined soundtrack. Right. And I have this like beautiful, like it was like my Christmas present that year, this beautiful, like clearly designed and created by a huge fan.

And this is topical because- He's a good fan. He's a good fan. But that's what he was sort of doing. Topical because he uses- Oh, Jesus. Which fucking Cat Stevens song does he use in this movie? I don't know.

There it is. That's the one. You're there, you're there, you're there. Why can't I remember the name of that song? I don't know or care. I keep on thinking it's the... Don't Think Twice, which is the Mike Birbiglia movie. Don't think twice.

Mike Birbiglia is real nice. Can you please get to your point? This is terrible. This is the worst thing that's ever happened. That's what he was doing. He was releasing vinyl soundtracks and writing liner notes. Well, the other thing we should note is that he was working on a film called Deep Tiki. Deep Tiki.

And it was plagued with production problems or script problems. It never was getting off the ground. But at one point was a month away from filming. It was this thing. Ben Stiller and Reese Witherspoon attached to Star. And it kept falling apart. Yeah.

It's kind of rude in producing. Right. And so he decided to pick up this like based on a true story movie. Well this is what I've heard. Okay. D.P.

Tiki was a passion project. I think he took a while to lick his wounds because clearly D.P. Tiki of course eventually becomes Aloha. Yes. Yes.

You watch Elizabeth Towne and clearly that is a movie by a man who feels very wounded by the critical rejection of... Of Elizabethtown. Of Vanilla Sky. Oh, sure, right. Well, yes. I think Elizabethtown is a guy feeling his first failure.

Feeling rejection from critics, but also obviously seemingly turning over the loss of his debt. Yes, both. Yes. But also Vanilla Sky made a ton of money. And then you have Elizabethtown, which loses a ton of money and is hated. It's a bomb by any metric, yeah. I'm going to go out on a limb here,

and I know you don't like to psychoanalyze the filmmakers too much with things that aren't concrete. No, no, but go ahead. I have a feeling that Cameron Crowe's a pretty sensitive guy. Yeah, he seems a little sensitive. Right? I say this as a fellow softie. He seems like a sensitive guy. I think those two movies back sensitive. Right? I say this as a fellow softie. Seems like a sensitive guy.

I think those two movies back to back hit him pretty hard. I think he took a while to lick his wounds. I think he took a while to write Deep Tiki. And about, you know, 2008, 2009 maybe, you know, they're trying to get that off the ground and for a while it's not going. And I think he was pretty wounded and he felt like he was kind of a reject. He goes

through a divorce around this time too. So I think his life was in a bit of upheaval and he's reevaluating everything. What I hear is that Tom Cruise who of course has been a big champion throughout his career. Buddy of Cameron's. Right? And we didn't mention this. Been in two of his movies. Produced Elizabeth Town as well. No we did mention it.

Oh we did mention it? Okay. Kind of had like a I don't know. I don't want to say an intervention but was like dude you need to make a movie again. You need to get back on the horse. You've been out there. It's been too long.

And I have heard that apparently Cruise called in a lot of favors and went to studios and said please hire Cameron Crowe. Alright. Is that true? That sounds crazy to me. I think if you Google that, you can find that. More mediocre filmmakers have less trouble making a movie

than Cameron Crowe. I think it was more that Cameron Crowe didn't want to put himself out there. And so this thing that happened was Fox had this property. We bought a zoo. They had attached Aline Brosh McKenna. Yeah, the writer of Devil Wears Prada. Yes. To adapt it, and the script never totally worked, right?

But I guess they had a lot of belief in this being a good starting point for a family dramedy, right? Yeah, sure. And I hear that, you know... And it's based on this true story, or would you believe it? Journalist buys a zoo. Boy, oh boy.

Bought that too. I think Cruise goes around and says to people like, hey, I'm trying to get Karen Crow to do something. And someone at Fox goes, this might be interesting to see if he had a take on rewriting this. Yeah, and also it basically fits his sensibility in that it's a pretty gentle movie.

Like it's not, you know, an action epic or whatever. But what I've heard is that, I mean, he has credited Tom Cruise thanking him for getting him back into making movies and for setting We Bought a Zoo up in a very unofficial early capacity. We Bought a Zoo. You could say that he bought a zoo. He bought a zoo. After Fox bought the rights to We Bought a Zoo.

They should make a film about the making of We Bought a Zoo. We Bought a Zoo? Yeah, that'd be great. It's a film about creative executives. My point is that Cameron Crowe didn't go like, God, what am I going to adapt next? We bought a zoo. It was kind of thrown at him like,

do you want to take a look at this and see if you have something? He ran through his typewriter and he went, okay, I think I'd make this. I think they even at first were just like, do you want to try rewriting this and see if you'd want to direct it? But it's the only one of his properties that he didn't really like develop from the ground up, you know? Vanilla Sky was obviously adapted, but he was there from square one this was him taking over a project and it

wasn't something he like sought out well if i can elaborate on that also he makes vanilla sky i'm sorry vanilla sky we've been messing up all he makes vanilla sky and uh that's you know that's a tom cruise passion project as well as a Cameron Crowe passion project but you know that has it's a TCPP yeah exactly and then he makes and a CCPP it's a TCCCPP I'm gonna leave I'm gonna leave I swear to god no in Elizabeth Town he makes

like the most Cameron Crowe movie ever right it's just like he's laying it all out there it's just like big wounded open heart of a movie with like no real plot and it's just like he's laying it all out there it's this like big wounded open heart of a movie with like no real plot and it's just fucking nonsense so with we bought a zoo he's like we made a shoe oh my god and then we bought a zoo he's like literally i would say doing the other thing no one comedy point no you only you can give a comedy point. I liked it. Two comedy points. Woo!

Okay, I'm sorry. Yes. And then with We Bought a Zoo, he's doing the opposite thing where it's like, okay, okay, forget it. I won't make a movie that's like the inside of my brain scored to like a soundtrack that I like have been crying about for a week. I'll just make like, great, he bought a zoo. What a great story. I'll make like the most formulaic little hollywood

you know mini budget mid-budget picture you could ever imagine like it's not gonna hurt anyone's feelings no one's gonna really care about it like you know like because i'm sure elizabethtown has like some sort of passionate core of fans like there must be i believe sophie perrault a listener of our podcast is a is fan. There are other people. Yeah, no, sure. Whereas, like, I mean. Joe Robinson. Didn't Joe Robinson. Joanna Robinson seems to like Elizabeth Towne. Okay.

She's a huge Cameron Crowe fan. I think. But, like, find me the Cameron Crowe fan who thinks We Bought a Zoo is his best movie. Like. Okay. No one. I agree with you. Right.

No one's going to go to the mat. He's playing it safe is what I'm saying. Yes. But here's the thing. And we're going to get into this movie, but here's an interesting prism I want to throw out from the get-go. Uh-huh. A prism I think we should view We Bought a Zoo From.

Yeah. I think this is the film that makes the strongest argument for Cameron Crowe being an auteur in the sort of strict auteurist theory kind of way. Because it is not a personal film for him. Sure, but it still feels very Cameron Crowe-y. Yeah. It's unmistakably a Cameron Crowe film without being something that he cooked up.

I'll give you this. Yeah. But I feel like it's more like there's these moments where you're like, oh, like there it is. Yeah. But then there's also like, oh, here's our 50th reaction shot from an ostrich. Hmm. Great. Just what we need.

Let's start getting into the meat of the film. But I just want to set that out as a thing because I'm going to make some arguments towards that point. I'm going to make. For better or worse, I think this film shows. Yeah. No, I know what you mean. Yeah. Because Kim McCrory. He's no whatever.

Who directed David Frankel? He's no David Frankel. Right. Who directed The Devil Wears Prada. It's fine. But yes, you could see... He's a competent studio guy. You could see a version of this film that was written by Aline Brosh McKenna and directed by Dave Frankel and would be solid, sturdy, but lacking any real character. Absolutely.

And this film has a lot of personality. So that's where I diverge with you, because I think it has some personality, and then other times it feels a little more, you know, blah, blah, blah. I'm not always saying personality in a positive way. I think it has personality from beginning to end. Well, we've staked out our positions. Now,

I'm going to make fun of this movie, because it is about buying a zoo, and it's ridiculous. And it's called We Bought a Zoo. It's called We Bought a Zoo, which is like, it's just, it's kind of like that thing when like you're a kid and like the kid who gets picked on a lot wears some like obnoxious nerdy t-shirt and you're just like, why is he doing that? You know, or he starts like yelling at people about, I don't know, like the nerdiest thing, like Dungeons and Dragons.

And you're just like, I don't, I don't know, like the nerdiest thing, like Dungeons and Dragons. And you're just like, I don't want to pick. I'm not picking on you. Don't wear Donald Duck sneakers. Are you fucking kidding me? Speaking as someone who was. Don't eat your boogers. You know they're looking for reasons to punch you. Exactly.

Someone who was, you know, a nerdy guy. Ditto. But like was also someone who kind of tried to keep that shit as under wraps as possible, you know. That's where you and I differ. Just to kind of like, you know, that's where you and I just to kind of, just to kind of like, you know, avoid rocking the boat too much when there would, there would be that guy who wouldn't, you know,

who would let it all hang out and you admire it. But at the same time, like when they were getting picked on, sometimes you'd be like, did you have to be called? We bought a zoo, you know? And I feel like at the time,

cause we didn't know each other. It's children. No, no, no. I'm saying you and I had not met when We Bought a Zoo came out. No, we had not. I'm sure.

Yes. Which means a lot of our mutual friends who I met through you and sort of the film writing criticism community, I had not met yet either. But I feel like my friends who are fellow cinephiles and, you know, just film Twitter people I was following at the time, there was this sentiment of like, come on, you're killing me here. Because people wanted to see like whether or not they liked him. The idea of Kim and Crow being back because for a while it was like, is he ever going to make a movie again? Right, right, right. And it was like he had made one flawed film and one out and out bomb.

It wasn't like it was like. Impossible that he could get it back. Maybe he'll just have another Terry McGuire in his back pocket. You know, whatever. He might be Estella. He might get his group back. Ten comedy points. I was trying to be profound. I was looking for ten profundity points.

What? You don't know about profundity points? Alright, move on. I just remember the sentiment being that, like, when you'd walk by a poster, the trailer would come up in a theater, you'd just, like, put your head in your hands and be like, come on, man, just fucking change the title.

I'm trying to, like, fight for you here. What would you call it? What would I call this one? Well, this is the problem. So I was watching it last night trying to come up with a better title. Family Zoo. Yeah. Hey, here's a game.

Tweet at us. Yeah, a better title than We Bought a Zoo. Yeah. I'd love to hear some suggestions. I watched the whole movie,, a better title than We Bought a Zoo. Yeah. I'd love to hear some suggestions. I watched the whole movie and I couldn't fucking think of one that was less adult. Dead Mom, Live Animals. That's good. That's good.

I would green light that. I'd call it Warning Live Humans. Don't feed the dad. Please do not feed the dad. Oh, Dad Likes Zookeeper. I don't feed the dad please do not feed the dad oh dad likes zookeeper I don't know yeah

a zoo home I don't know I don't know what the fuck you can call it you can also just call it like Benjamin Meese great adventure I guess so, yeah. I don't know. Just don't call it We Bought a Zoo.

Collateralized debt obligations because it's about all the money he sinks in. Here's a question. What's the best movie title that also functions as a complete sentence like that? Do you know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying. Sentence titles are inherently kind of goofy. Yeah, that's tough. I can't think of it.

There Will Be Blood. That's pretty good. Yeah, you're right. Like, sentence titles are inherently kind of goofy. Yeah, that's tough. I can't think of it. There Will Be Blood. That's pretty good. That's, yeah, you're right. That's probably the single best one. That's pretty good. But even something like Say Anything, where it's like you're starting to say something and the ellipses kind of like,

do you know what I'm saying? There's an ellipses in the title of Say Anything? Dot, dot, dot. Wow. All right, but I was going to say, as much as I want to make fun of the movie and will, for being about a guy who bought a zoo. And being titled We Bought a Zoo.

You know, I think we've both been moving. We've been involved in apartment moving in New York City. We both had moves in the last week of recording this episode. We both moved in the last five days. Yeah. And which is especially in New York, a real pain in the tuchus. Yep. I'm still grieving over a breakup.

I'm a real delicate position. I'm grieving over your terrible tweets. Yep. I'm still grieving over a breakup. I'm in a real delicate position. And I'm grieving over your terrible tweets. Yep. Every night. You are welcome. And I sit down to watch We Bought a Zoo, which I had never seen. Yeah. And, you know, it was cute.

I kind of liked it. You know, buy a zoo. Maybe I just needed someone to buy a zoo. Here's the thing with this movie. It's charming. It's kind of charming. It's okay. I mean, I like it.

There are a lot of things I don't like about it, but I'll say this. I watched it last night, and I cried. I tweeted this out. I believe I cried at 12 different points. Yeah, well, that's silly. That speaks a lot to my emotional psychological state. I don't often cry at movies. I will often get choked up at movies.

Sure. I rarely am moved to physical tears. I will admit that I was crying before I started watching the movie. Yeah, I don't know if you were crying at the movie. I was buttered, but now the 12 points in the film where I have historically, this is my second time watching the film, the 12 points in the film where I previously got a little lump in the throat now became full tears.

I'm an easy cry at a movie and I cried zero times during this movie. Okay. Well, I just think this movie is charming. Like, I cry when the car in Mad Max Fury Road kind of gets bumped into the dust cloud and like swirls around and explodes.

Because it's beautiful? Yeah, because it's so amazing. Yeah. Like, I did not cry at We Bought a Zoo. Not when they were thinking of buying the zoo, not when they bought the zoo, and not when they opened the zoo. I didn't cry at those moments. I'll tell you the moments I cried at when we get to them.

What's the most embarrassing movie that you cried during? Like, can you think of a scene that makes you cry that you're just like, I can't believe that got me. I'll have to think about that. I don't have an answer off the top of my head. I have one. Yeah, go ahead. I was on a plane back from Aruba with a girlfriend,

and they were playing Hotel for Dogs. That sounds good so far. I don't have an answer off the top of my head. I have one. Yeah, go ahead. I was on a plane back from Aruba with a girlfriend. Yeah. And they were playing Hotel for Dogs. That sounds good so far. Yeah, I love it. And I cried so hard. I've never seen Hotel for Dogs. Because the dogs start running a hotel. Well, I mean, so far I'm on board.

Did people say they couldn't do it? No one believed them. Because that always makes me emotional. If a movie is like, you can't succeed. The world is betting against you. So Emma Roberts does not run the Hotel for Dogs? She helps, but it's the dogs. It's dog related.

There was a film called Max that came out. The film about the military dog? Yeah, it came out, I I think last year about a military German shepherd who returns home from combat and has a tough time of it. I saw the trailer for Max in front of Jurassic World when I went to see Jurassic World and there's

a moment in the middle of the trailer when there are fireworks and the dog gets scared and the kid has to hug the dog because he's scared and I burst into tears. Like in the middle of the trailer. I went, oh! And grabbed my chest and started crying and my girlfriend laughed at me.

Can I complete this hat trick? Yes. Because I also, the first answer that came to my mind, I didn't have this when I asked the question, but now I realize the most embarrassing scene I can think about crying during is also a dog movie. Yeah, I mean, you know, dogs. But, ready? Okay. And my memories jog because a friend of the podcast, Rebecca think about crying during is also a dog movie yeah i mean you know dogs well but ready okay and my memory's jogged because uh friend of the podcast rebecca bolness uh and i were tweeting

about this last night yeah i i cry during the first live action scooby-doo film oh wait what moment there is a moment in the film and excuse me if i get emotional even talking about it uh-huh but there is a moment in the film, and excuse me if I get emotional even talking about it. Uh-huh. But there is a moment in the film. Yes? Where whatever the cult is, the tribe that is staging voodoo rituals. Yes. On the island.

I understand. Where the theme park is happening. We've all seen Scooby-Doo. Run by Rowan Atkinson, who's actually Scrappy-Doo. Forgot about that. Yeah. And there's a scene where they're worshipping Scooby as a god. Scooby and Shaggy have gotten in a fight. Classic.

Scooby thinks that Shaggy doesn't care about him anymore. And Scooby is on like a little sort of dais. And Shaggy goes undercover as one of the tribesmen and he goes like, shh, Scoob. He's like, we gotta get out of here. And Scoob's like,

whoa, whoa, whoa. And Shaggy gives this monologue. Matthew Lillard in The Performance of a Lifetime gives this monologue about their friendship that I think is so touching. Oh my god, this is embarrassing. He just says like, you know, who's your best friend in the world?

And he's like, Draggy? And he's like, and who's my best friend in the world? And Scooby looks at him and Scooby's tearing up. A little CGI tears in his eyes. And he points his little paw at himself and he goes, Ruby Rue? And he goes, of course, we're two peas in a far out pod, man. So we're going to do what we do best

we're gonna run out of here screaming like a couple of cowards in a big delicious sandwich or something like that i'm paraphrasing the great james gunn's a fabulous script for that film um but boy is that i mean that one puts me through the ringer real we're done real waterworks with our friendship. Yeah, it's all over. Oh, boy. Good times. In 2011, a film was released called We Bought a Zoo. We Bought a Zoo.

Yeah. It's based on a novel. I mean, sorry, a nonfiction book by Benjamin Meek. Who was a British man. Who bought a zoo. But this film's a pretty loose adaptation of what actually happened in real life. Yes. He acquired the Dartmoor Zoological Park,

which is in Devon. It was going to be closed because the safety concerns were really high. The old cages and stuff were really terrible and its license was revoked and stuff. It was bought by the me family

for 1.1 million pounds and like they had some antics but after a few years they restored it and it reopened in 2007 and now it's a it's a success and he wrote a book about it i don't think in real life like he was looking for a new home and the real estate agent was like, okay, here are just a bunch of homes. Well, no. Let's get to that in a second. The other thing that is not in his real story is that his wife was not dead.

That's a Cameron Crowe or Aline Brosh McKenna. That's a movie invention. Very interesting. Now, we talked about in the Elizabeth Town how Cameron Crowe is obviously trying to wrestle with loss in Elizabeth Town. Yeah. And it seems like he's doing the same stuff here, right? Yeah.

Because, I mean, the movie, it's about them buying a zoo. Yes. I'm not denying that it's about them buying a zoo. I'm glad we're getting to this because this is the big thing I want to talk about with this movie. But certainly it's mostly, you know, whoever made this, I can't say for sure that it was Cameron Carr. Because maybe Eileen Brashmer kind of came up with this idea first. But it seems like he was like, well, we need more than just a zoo purchase. There's got to be.

To be the emotional spine of this. Because it sounds like in real life it was kind of a lark. Like, why not buy a zoo? That'd be fun. In this movie, it's like a man who needs to shake up his life. Yeah, a man who's lost his wife. Yes. The son's kicked out of school.

He's got two kids. And the daughter seems very balanced. But the son's having some trouble. Yes. The son's kicked out of school. He's got two kids, and the daughter seems very balanced, but the son's having some trouble, a little darkness. The daughter's also real cute. She's amazingly cute. That's maybe the most adorable child actress I've ever seen in a film.

She's adorable. Her name is Maggie Elizabeth Jones. She was also in that sitcom, Ben and Kate, with Dakota Johnson, which she was also very cute. Yes, she was. She was also an identity thief.

I haven't seen that one. How is it? Not good. Great. Um, what were we going to say? Oh, and so,

yeah, so he's, he's, he's, he's a journalist and like, there's this kind of really vague, really lame sort of like plot where it's like, Oh,

journalism is an industry has collapsed. So you can't do that. We're brushing over something here because the opening of the film is voiceover narration by the son. Yes. Which then is gone for the rest by Colin Ford. Yes. Yes. Gone for the rest of me. But sets up the dad who is this crazy kind of renegade journalist.

Yeah. Go anywhere for a story. He he covered himself in killer bees and he's talked to warlords and drug dealers and all this crazy stuff. Well, you're missing the part of this movie where I become 150% on board. What is it? They're showing as the example

of all the crazy stuff he does. He's in the back of the truck with the warlord and he's going, you know, this and that and death to the infidels and this and that. This guy, he's such a crazy, like, off the fucking angle kind of reporter. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's asking different questions than everyone else. He goes, okay, fascinating.

What's your favorite movie? Yeah. And the guy says, Toy Story. And he goes, the first one or the second one? And he turns to all his, like, his goons. Yeah. And he's, like. Looking for consensus.

First or second, they're like, second, second. Yeah. And he's like. Looking for consensus. First or second. They're like, second. Second. Yeah. So. So this movie within the first minute establishes that Toy Story 2 is the best film ever made, which I agree with. Cool. Because as a warlord goes, so goes the nation. Uh huh.

Great movie. Toy Story 2. Toy Story 2. Toy Story 2. Yes. I agree. And by proxy, We Bought a Zoo is also a great movie. No. Because it vouches for Toy Story 2. Uh huh I agree. And by proxy, We Bought a Zoo is also a great movie. No.

Because it vouches for Toy Story 2. Uh-huh. We Bought a 2? Exactly. Toy Story 2? Yes. Are you laughing? You find that funny?

So he's having a crisis, right? Okay. Son acting up. Kicked out of school. Daughter, she seems very precocious. Too Son acting up. Kicked out of school. Daughter seems very precocious. Too cute, maybe. Makes a lot of sandwiches. Maybe suspiciously cute. I agree with you.

You know, he can't even go into the local diner because that's where he met his wife. I have a place for mine. And there's too many memories. Yeah. And here's... So he's kind of got to get out of town. What town is it? Well, you're forgetting the biggest problem of this entire...

Not of this film. The biggest problem he has problem of this entire, not of this film, the biggest problem he has in his life at the start of this film. Too many women want to fuck him. Yeah. Women are like throwing lasagnas at him. It's kind of like that movie The Inch. Like he's fucking Garfield or something. Yeah, yeah.

Ladies be throwing lasagnas at him. Yeah, it's like The Intern, the Robert De Niro, where it's like, yeah, it's like the intern, Robert De Niro, where it's like, yeah, it's like hot widow on the block. Everyone wanted to climb that widow tree. And as his daughter says, he's got most of his hair. Most of the other dads are bald. She does say that. We should say that this character, Benjamin Mee, is played by

Matt Damon. Matthew Damon. Is his full name actually Matthew? I mean, what else would it be? You're right. Matthew Page Damon. I was gonna guess P. Is his full name actually Matthew? I mean, what else would it be? Matholio? You're right. Matthew Page Damon. I was going to guess P. Well, there you go.

Okay. And just to give us an idea, where was Matt Damon? He had- Matty D? In that year, he had done the movie The Adjustment Bureau. Which I like. It's not a bad movie. Cute movie. It's kind of odd.

Charming. And Contagion, where he got a cold and didn't die. And he rules in Contagion. He's good. He's good. And Margaret had come out that year, but he'd shot it like six years earlier. So that doesn't really count. My favorite film of the last 10 years.

Mine too. Well, my favorite film of the year for sure. And before then, he had done Invictus a couple years before, gotten an Oscar nomination. Which is one of the weirdest Oscar nominations. Because he's like, I mean, he's solid in that movie because he's a pro. But like, that's not a great performance. He's just doing his job in that movie. He was just kind of, I feel like Damon was in a bit of an odd place where the Bourne franchise was sort of dormant.

He had walked away in 2007 and said, I don't want to do any more Bournes. He made this movie Green Zone with Paul Greengrass that was a huge financial disaster. Huge flop. And then he sort of starts rebuilding it by popping up in smaller roles in like True Grit and Contagion. And so, ooh, yeah, Matt Damon, good actor. As Invictus he does Hereafter, but he's doing a lot of supporting roles. Hereafter was weird, but yeah. But Invictus is a supporting role.

And something like Justin Bieber, which did okay, it's like in terms of box office, he's at best getting like on-base doubles or triples right now. He's not getting home runs. Yeah. His two big franchises, Born and Oceans, are dormant. Dormant, right. And he doesn't get another like real vehicle that clicks in a big commercial mainstream way for a number of years after this. I mean, you're the Martian basically. Yeah.

But at this point in time, definitely he's in a weird zone. Which, by the way, was very funny. The Martian? Hilarious. I mean, probably the best comedy of last year. Outstanding. Oh, my God. That will never stop being a weird zone. Which, by the way, was very funny. The Martian? Hilarious. I mean, probably the best comedy of last year. Outstanding. Oh, my God. That will never stop being a good bit.

So Damon is your star. He's got big feathered hair. Yeah, he's got weird hair. Odd hair. Odd hair. Yeah. It's odd. Yeah.

But I think that he's decent in the movie. I think he's really sweet. Look, dude is solid, right? Matt Damon is one of our most dependable movie stars. But that's almost the thing about him, is that he's almost defined by being dependable. He's like the most meat and potatoes A-list actor we got. That's what I love about him in The Departed,

where he's suddenly absolutely out of his mind funny and really, really profane and weird. And it almost seems to be playing the character like he's this violently repressed homosexual homosexual which i adore about that movie but like that was rare usually damon's kind of you're solid you're steady guy another film i love uh him in which also uses him as like a second or third lead you know not like a supporting character but not the driving force uh is True Grit. Here's this interesting thing with Matt Damon.

So a lot of people like his buddy Ben Affleck. Not a great actor, pretty great movie star, right? If you work within the limitations. I think Affleck's become quite a good actor. I think he's become better. But if you work within the limitations of what Affleck can do, he's a very powerful presence, right? Yeah, agreed. Someone like Johnny Depp was always kind of innately

a character actor. And he became a movie star because A, he was really good looking and charming, but B, because a couple of those characters he played became kind of iconic. Yeah. But he's always more comfortable

doing the fucking Jack Sparrow thing than he is doing like the Public Enemies thing. Right? Yeah, although I think he's great in Public Enemies. But go on. I agree.

But no, go on. Don't decide. Matt Damon's an interesting guy where he works really well as a movie star just being solid, down the middle, mean potatoes, sturdy. He is like a moral center to your film. He's compelling.

He's strong, right? You're saying, but give him a supporting role, right? But he also can really pop doing supporting character roles. Interstellar. Yeah. He's great in that. He's amazing. So I think Matt Damon is one of our best movie stars, but he also is even better when you take the weight of carrying the movie

off of his shoulders and go, Matt, get a little weird. I think he's a B-plus movie star, A character guy. What's your favorite Matt Damon movie star movie? Departed doesn't count. I mean, I think the... Well, i'll say i i'm i'm a born

neophyte i have only ever seen the second one which made no sense to me because i hadn't seen the first one yeah that's that's a decision right i would say the third born is easily the best yeah see for me my answer is probably the martian just because i think it's a great the martian's a good answer it's it's a good unpacking of everything he can do well. And so funny. Yeah. Anyway, so we... Everything. It shows all the colors on the palette.

We about a zoo. Yeah. So he's sad. Yeah. And his brother is Thomas Hayden Church. In a very odd performance. This is the tail end of, I think, studios being like, eh, toss some THC in there, you know?

I feel like Thomas Hayden Church has vanished after his sort of bounce back. He's going to be seen on the new HBO series Divorce starring Sarah Jessica Parker. I think like a lot of actors who have had a hard time placing themselves, he's looking to rebound in the prestige drama

series. Why not, right? But he definitely had a very weird career after Sideways. And a movie that we disagree on, Spider-Man 3, I think he's really solid in. I think he's quite good in that film. It makes no sense, but he's really fucking good. And it's more impressive because the character makes no sense. There are a couple scenes he has that have real fucking dramatic punch to them.

Wait, you think that movie's good? I think that movie's interesting and you hate that movie as much as any movie. You've said that to me in the past. So awful. Right? You hate that movie as much as- Not that I don't think it's interesting, but I hate it.

Like, you know what I mean? Like, certainly I agree it's not just your formula bad movie. I think that movie doesn't work and it is bad. I think 30% of it is like deeply interesting and I will go to the mat for it. Okay, whatever. I think the scene-

Enough, enough. We're moving past it. Someday we're going to talk about Spider-Man 3 because we're going to do Sam Raimi and I will go to the mat for. Okay, whatever. I think the scene- Enough, enough. We're moving past it. Someday we're going to talk about Spider-Man 3 because we're going to do Sam Raimi and I need to talk about that movie because I have a lot of thoughts on that. Hey guys, who bought a zoo? Matt Damon playing the character Benjamin.

Me. Thomas Hayden Church plays his brother who is, you know, Thomas Hayden Church, we're saying, can be a great actor. And you look at something like Sideways where he's playing a cat and anyone could have made it very one-dimensional, but he adds a lot of depth to it

and he got an Oscar nom for it. This role, he is playing just some funny line readings. This character does not hang together as a person at all. He's just a lot of kind of like, hey, look, I don't know what to say. He's a real phoned-in, like, kooky older brother, you know, type. I mean, there's nothing to it.

There's the one scene where they try to deepen him but with him not getting over his ex-wife but it whatever it doesn't really work it's stupid i will say visually i love the casting of the two of them as brothers i think that works really well i agree yeah they both have that sort of freckly northeastern stock yeah um the movie is basically this i think i said this to you on twitter this the sitcom raising dad yes i don't know, which by the way, have you ever seen Raising Dad? No. You know who was in Raising Dad, right? The Bob Saget

sitcom? Yeah, the WB Bob Saget 2001 sitcom that lasted for one season. Bob Saget, Kat Dennings, Brie Larson, Jerry Adler, I mean, that's it. Hey, that's pretty incredible. Pretty good one season crappy sitcom. But the same thing, I mean, it's two daughters instead of a daughter and a son, but you know, wife dies, that's it. That's pretty incredible. Pretty good. One season crappy sitcom. Yeah. But the same thing.

I mean, it's two daughters instead of a daughter and a son. But, you know, wife dies. Dad's trying to figure it out. And then there's a kooky, in his case, grandpa. But, you know, Thomas Aiden Church hanging around. Isn't Full House also that his wife just died and he's trying to raise two daughters? He's really into the wife just died. I mean, even Raising Dad was a really obnoxious Full House quasi-reboot.

But just the fact- The house was a little less full, but other than that. The fact that it has a 14-year-old Kat Dennings and an 8-year-old Brie Larson in it. And Brie Larson's really funny. She's the wacky little sister. Yeah, she's a good actress. Yeah, she's a good actress. Brie Larson's really good. It's so weird. She was always good. It's insane, even when you watch

the early stuff. Totally. I remember reading an interview with Matt Damon around the time that this film was coming out, and I think always good it's like insane even when you watch the early stuff totally yeah uh but i remember reading an interview with matt damon around the time that this film was coming out and i think um you know this wilderness period we're talking after damon where his his seed cannot really find purchase you know he's still uh i gave you a look for that one he did like it uh but you know they do okay like adjustment bureau that's okay but for a $20 million guy who's known as one of these Hollywood elite guys, he's not really connecting in a big way. Yeah.

And someone pointed out, interestingly, that at the point that they pulled the trigger on doing this new Jason Bourne movie, it was when he was still sort of in this run. Yeah, he was pre-Martian. Right. Like now you're like, he doesn't need to go back to that franchise. But at the time, I think he was a little scared of like, I need to renew the brand. Yeah. You know? Why not? And then I'll go make

The Great Wall. Yes. But I remember... What do you think the check they wrote him for that one was? I think he probably got $25 million. Yeah, right? Like it's like, hey, you want to be in this movie about 10th century China directed by and financed by Chinese people? I don't know. It sounds like a weird idea. Here's the check.

Yep. I'll be on the Great Wall tomorrow. See you then. Can I tell you a crazy theory that I might be proven totally wrong on that I have for this film? I'm an expected Oscar winner who just got in trouble for lecturing a black lady about diversity in film. $25 million though. Oh, okay. Yeah, sure. Can I tell you my crazy

theory? Go ahead. I have a feeling that Matt Damon is not the lead of that movie. Maybe. Maybe. Maybe Andy Lau is. What drives me crazy is that that poster is literally his face is bigger than the wall. Well, and also the poster is like- Who can save us, Matt Damon?

No, no, no. What do you keep out? They built it to keep something out. Matt Damon. I was going to say it. Oh, say it verbatim. It's something like 550 years old, 1,700 miles long. What was it built to keep out?

Matt Damon, the Great Wall. There's no pause. It seems like Matt Damon is what it's trying to keep out. But even in our Riddler Sky episode, we talked about the Tom Cruise big head posters. That is the biggest I've ever seen anyone's head be on a poster. It's a big head. Yeah, and especially looming over one of the great wonders of the world. 47 Ronin has a similar thing where the people who saw the movie said,

oh, Keanu Reeves is a supporting character. Most of the cast is actually Japanese. And they put him in as a supporting character and then made him the fulcrum of the marketing campaign because they needed a known actor. I have a feeling that film's more of an ensemble piece. Perhaps. It's possibly true.

It doesn't make the fact that he is a savior character any less problematic. It doesn't make the marketing any less problematic. No, it's fine. I was just making fun of him. I know. Perhaps. It's possibly true. It doesn't make the fact that he is a savior character any less problematic. It doesn't make the marketing any less problematic. I was just making fun of him. I know. Whatever. I just wanted to throw

my theory out because if a year from now I'm correct, I'll look like a genius. He bought a zoo. It's not even a year. It's February. I remember him saying

in an interview around that time he really wants a segue to directing motion pictures. Matt Damon. Matt Damon? Yes. He still hasn't done it.

I'd watch it. He said he really wants to do it, and he said, at this point in my career, I'm mostly picking films based on directors I want to work with because I want to see how other people do it.

Well, he works with good directors. He works with Eastwood. He works with Eastwood twice. He does this Cameron Crowe movie. He works with the Coens. Yes. He works with, who have we got?

I mean, Neil Blomkamp seemed like a good horse to bet on at that moment. Sure. I mean, Ridley Scott, Steven Soderbergh in Behind the Candelabra and in Yes. And Tajan.

He almost did. He works with Gus Van Sant. Yes. In Promised Land. So he was going to direct Promised Land. Right, right. Because it's like a lefty fracking movie. And then there was another film that came up and he didn't have time to prep it because

he was going to be shooting that before. And Gus Van Sant stepped in. But when that film was announced, that was going to be his directorial debut. Nolan. Yes. He's in Manchester by the Sea this was announced, that was going to be his directorial debut. Nolan. Yes. He's in Manchester by the Sea this year, which is kind of fun. Yeah.

He, around that time, was buying, optioning a lot of scripts to direct. And now those talks have died down. But I think him choosing to do this movie was very much based in wanting to see how Cameron Crowe did it. He also was,

at a certain point in time, talking pretty seriously about doing Avatar. And he said his main thing was he wanted to see James Cameron work but it was just a long production he didn't want to do it. I think that it's interesting that he's better than Ben Affleck I think in a lot of people's mind. A little more

of a safer bet. Yes. And yet Ben Affleck's the one who's transitioned very well to directing and has an Oscar not for directing but you know for making a movie and like Damon always seemed like the smarter more why hasn't Damon

written more movies why hasn't he transitioned into this like what's up with him why why and I'm telling you like turn of the decade

he was talking it up he was going I don't know how many more movies I want to make I mostly want to direct buying scripts and then that all just sort of

disappeared promised land it was on the runway and then he got off the plane and said no it's still my script and still starring in it

Gus come in yeah but I think that was the big draw for him so we bought a zoo I don't think he would have starred in the Aline Brashman

kind of version of this film I don't think he was interested in doing a family dramedy like this we're talking about his performance and his character we've done enough

on Damon we've done so much on Damon it's crazy this movie also has like no plot it has no plot. All right.

So I joked about this on Twitter. Yeah. Is that the film is called We Bought a Zoo. Yeah. And the first 20 minutes are like, oh, his wife is dead and his family, you know, it's leaving it up. And he's like, you know what we need to do? Get a new house.

Yeah. And so J.B. Smoove, there's this extended, very Cameron Crowe-y sequence with him in the car with J.B. Smoove. Yeah. And he's just like, you know, new day, new day. This is great.

And Matt Damon's like, how long have you been doing this for? He's like, my first day. This is my first day as a real estate agent. It's so superfluous, but it's kind of a cute little scene. And then the daughter, Rosie. Is Rosie the daughter? Let me get the names. Yes, Rosie Mee.

And she's like, this one, daddy. Like, she picks out a property. Well, first she says, my mom is dead. And Ben is like, you don't have to say that to everybody. You know? And she's like, well, I want him to know because he would have liked her. And he says, I think it's very sweet. He's like, well, you know, if she's anything like you, I can't imagine she'd be anything

less than great. Yeah. But it does speak to this weird tonal disparity in the film where like, J.B. Smoove, who I love. He's great. I feel like is in the Dave Frankel version of this movie. No, I mean, sure. I mean, I agree with you.

A lot of his moments. I think he sells those lines. I don't think he doesn't sell them, but I think the lines around that, he's playing pretty broad. And I think J.B. Smoove can be subtle. No, he's a pretty broad actor. I mean, you don't really bring him in.

Like, oh, I need a quiet, you know, really sort of like internal performance. Let me get JB smooth. Same for John Michael Higgins, who's playing to the rafters in this. I really, I can't stand that because I love John Michael Higgins. We'll get to him. He's one of the best. He's one of the best.

You know, comedic character, but he's in a totally different film. Well, no, but there is no lazier casting decision than like, we need a persnickety inspector type. Oh, wait, are you guys talking about the bad zoo boy? Yeah, the bad zoo boy. As the girls call him. The bad zoo boy. Oh, my God. Oh, look out.

Here comes the bad zoo boy. Yeah, I mean, it's like really lazy shorthand casting. He feels like he's just going through the motions. Really does. And the J.B. Smoove casting for me feels like they were like, oh, we need to pep the movie up. Yeah, let's get this movie going. J.B. Smoove can't not be funny, which he's inherently funny. I basically agree.

You know what? I think it's fine. But here's the thing that I'm complaining about. She's like, this one, Danny? And he's like, okay. And we're watching the movie and we're like, it's a zoo. It's a zoo. We know.

It's a zoo. The movie's called We Bought a Zoo. I had to go up to the ticket counter and I go, one for We Bought a zoo. We know. It's a zoo. The movie's called We Bought a Zoo. I had to go up to the ticket counter and I go, one for We Bought a Zoo. I had to verbally say, We Bought a Zoo in order to see this movie. I know motherfuckers gonna buy a zoo. And the movie's like, Jamie Spoon's like, well, there's a thing about that property, cut. You know, like

we're not. He's like, oh, well, real pretty, but there's one thing you should know, cut. They're looking around. We're like, it's a zoo. It's a zoo. And, you know, he sees the house. He's like, this is great. I love this house. He's like, no, no, real nice house know, cut. They're looking around. It's a zoo. It's a zoo. And he sees the house. He's like, this is great. I love this house. He's like, no, no, real nice house, but cut.

But yeah, cut. Here's a but uh. And finally, it's like the girl's with a peacock, and he's looking at a lion. And he's like, see, the thing about this place is it's a zoo. And we're like, we know it's a zoo. What if they went to a bunch of different zoos, and they had to pick which zoo they wanted to live in? We could talk about just this one scene for 45 minutes. But I think you're wrong, David.

He doesn't say it's a zoo. He goes, it's a zoo. Like he's stammering so much and he's drawing it out. And when he says it, he says it really quickly. It's a zoo. And the camera, like it goes in like this wacky, like it almost feels like a fisheye lens. Like he's really close to the camera and he leans in when he says it really quickly. It's a zoo. And the camera, it goes in this wacky, it almost feels like a fisheye lens. He's really close to the camera, and he leans in when he says it. Yeah.

It's a zoo. Also, it feels like, and I feel bad for him, it feels like they picked glasses that don't fit his head properly in this movie. Yeah, his glasses are very funny looking. They're in odd shape. They're improperly centered. It's odd. Anyway.

Anyway. So it's a zoo. But also, I mean, because I need to talk about this. No, no, you don't. In what reality do you just throw a zoo onto the end of a list of houses you're looking at and not immediately go, so the last house we're looking at, I gotta let you know, it's not just

a house, it's a business. It comes with a business attached to it that you will have to run and operate. And it's not just, oh, here's a store where you sell sundries. It's a fucking zoo. And there's a restaurant operated by Elle Fanning. Well, it's not just, oh, here's a store where you sell sundries. It's a fucking zoo. Yeah. And there's a restaurant operated by Elle Fanning. Well, it's, you know, you're going to tell them it's a fucking zoo.

Well, it's the other thing. It's like, yeah, right. When you're looking at a real estate layout, a blueprint or whatever, it might say like, well, the funny thing about this is the bathroom is actually like there's one room that has the sink and one room that has the toilet. You know, it wouldn't be like that. It would be like zoo for sale. Yes.

There's a home you can live in. Right. You know, but it's not like house for sale plus zoo. Yeah. No one ever sells a business by first selling you the place where you could live if you ran the business and then going, by the way, you would also have to operate. Right. And own a business.

Yeah. And get all the necessary licenses. Yeah. and own a business. Get all the necessary licenses. And it's like, okay, if I went into a real estate place and I said, show me the money and three

bedroom homes you've got, I would expect to be shown a bunch of three bedroom homes. And if I was shown a zoo, I'd say, this is a zoo. It should be in a different folder. And if I went into the real estate and do you have any zoos? I'm looking for a zoo. They might be like, yeah, we have a zoo. They have like the smallest folder you ever saw.

You go online to streeteasy.com. You go, ideally, I'm looking for a two bedroom, rent stabilized. No zoos. I've already got two. I don't really need a third. You check the zoo. You got to check that. I swear to God.

This is a nice apartment. It's a studio. By the way, it also comes with a hospital. There's a whole staff waiting here. They've been lying dormant. I won't tell you what happened to the last owner, but here's the whole staff on board. All the patients are in there. Your joke is, that's exactly the question.

Then you cut to a scene with him and Thomas Hayden Church in a restaurant. And he's like, you know, it's crazy. It basically runs itself. It makes 75% of its money during the summer and, you know, it's really a piece of cake. He acts like it's almost like a delightful little addition. It's like having a kitchen nook.

Rosie fell in love when she saw the house. She likes the peacocks. But even before that, they're pulling into the driveway and he goes, Rosie, take a picture. She says, why? And he goes, because this is where we're going to live. He just falls in love with the driveway. And it's, it's just,

it's, I mean, it's kind of like, it's just like, you know, you want to have a, a midlife breakdown, you know,

buy a boat. You watch, you watch Knocked Up and you're like, well, you know, you know, maybe she should get an abortion.

She can't get an abortion. The movie's about her being pregnant. Like, you know, that was always Judd Apatow's. Like, you watch We Bought a Zoo and you're're like i don't think this guy is emotionally or financially equipped to buy a zoo but it's also like you're like well he kind of has to buy the

zoo because it's called we bought a zoo so the i i understand that the movie can't spend too much time being like showing him weighing whether or not to buy the zoo like he's gonna buy it's he's gonna buy the zoo but it also it does feel buy the zoo. But it also, it does feel like- But he really, he signs on quick. It does feel like a weird storytelling decision when by all accounts it sounds like in real life Thomas Mead decided to buy a zoo. Yeah, right. And in this movie, he falls in love with a house

and is like, I guess if I gotta buy a zoo along with it, I'll buy the zoo. Yeah. Like, you know, like he bought a fan that came with like a free pen. Yep. You know, when they bundle a fan and a pen together. I have no idea what you're talking about.

Sometimes you buy a product that comes with another product. I understand, yeah. Another product. Another product. He buys the zoo. He buys the zoo. Where does he get the money for the zoo? We're not sure.

He sells his old house. Tom's Head Church does say the parents left inheritance. He goes, this is how you're going to spend dad's inheritance. So he sinks some money into the zoo. Yeah. He goes to the zoo. Yeah. The zoo's full of animals.

Oh, by the way, his son hates the zoo. His son is not into the zoo, and he's just like, ha, you love this zoo, don't you? And the kid's like, nope. And he's like, I knew you did. Anyway, let's move into the zoo now. But son's miserable. He gets kicked out of high school. He's clearly not dealing well with the death of his mother, which who would? Gets kicked out of high school for drawing disturbing art and stealing.

Decapitations, and he's stealing. And they go, this is the fourth strike. We're in a three-strike policy. Yeah. So the film kind of sets up that it's like he's got no other choice. Matt Damon clearly needs to get away. Right. Every shop and restaurant in this town makes him sad because of his dead wife.

Yeah. Rosie's going to be happy making sandwiches wherever, and she loves the peacocks. Sun needs a new school to go to. They need to start fresh. Why not? Occam's razor. Easiest answer is usually the correct one. Buy a zoo.

Right. There's no other option. You got to buy a zoo. Got to buy that zoo. Yeah, so they buy the zoo. So they do buy a zoo. Acquire the full staff and all the wacky animals. The zoo, like I said, has somehow been sort of subsistence sustaining itself.

But not open to the public. I guess it might be part of the thing he says where it's like it's not the summer yet, so it's still like kind of coasting off of previous year's receipts. I don't know. Do they ever explain what happened to the previous owner? No. It's full of animals. Unlike the real zoo, they don't really talk about

how it, like, is dilapidated or anything. Yeah. Like, they're already, so Scarlett Johansson, you know, we should mention, is in this movie.

Well, yeah, I mean, what's important to say is you said that the zoo is full of animals and that's just the employees. Boy, oh boy. But no, Scarlett Johansson plays Kelly,

the lead zookeeper, and she's walking around is what I'm in. And it's like, this zoo's incredible. It's like revolutionary design. I'm 28. I'm 28 years old. Look at this incredible zoo. It was designed by this wacky bearded guy played by Angus McFadden.

Yeah. And but she's basically like, it's already great. It's already up to code. You know? It's the best. And you're like, okay, already great. It's already up to code, you know? Yeah, it's the best. And you're like, okay, well, where do we go from here? But he's not meeting her until after he's bought the place. Yes.

Like, it feels like maybe that scene should have been when he was on the fence while buying the zoo, and he meets her, and she's like, look, all I'm saying is you take over. This is the best. We're ready to run this. Right. You just sign the checks. Right. But he meets her after the lease is signed.

He does. You know, the deed. He has it, and they're basically like, so what's your deal? And he's like, I bought a zoo. Yeah. And they're like, do you know anything about zoos? Someone bought a zoo.

You bought a zoo. Yeah, but they're literally like, what do you know about zoos? And he's like, they have animals. Like, I mean, there's nothing. He calls them cages, and she's like, they've been in closures for a long time now. Is she mad about Susan? He's like, they have animals. I mean, there's nothing. He calls them cages and she's like, they've been in closures for a long time now. Is she mad about this? Some of the

other employees. Patrick Fugit, our old buddy from Almost Famous. Yeah, he's back. He plays a craftsman with a capuchin monkey on his shoulder. Called Robin. Played by Crystal, the most famous monkey in Hollywood. Sure. She's the one from like the thingy-majig. Hangover 3 and Animal Practice.

Was that what it was called? Yeah. That was the big deal. She got paid like $80,000 an episode for Animal Practice. She's Hollywood's top monkey. You've got Carla Gallo as Rhonda

who's like the bookkeeper. Also playing it real big. She's playing it real big. That is accurate. And let me point out the actors in this film playing it big like J.B. Smoove and point out, the actors in this film playing it big, like J.B. Smoove and John Michael Higgins

and Carla Gallo, I think are all great. And would, I like all three. You mean you think they're great in other things. In general. Oh, sure, I agree. I like all three of them a lot in general. And they could, I could see them be giving,

I could see a world in which they're in the David Frankel version of the movie and you go, they're a highlight. Yep. But they're just, the three of them and a couple others are in an entirely different movie. I agree with you. Now, then there's Elle Fanning, who plays Lily, who's like a homeschooled cousin of Scarlett Johansson's character. Yes.

And she works at the restaurant, but she also helps out under the table. Like, they pay her cash. Yeah, and she's homeschooled by Scarlett Johansson? Did they ever make that clear? And she makes, like, neon signs in her past. Where are her parents? Yeah. Not explained at all.

Hello, new neighbors. I saw you saying on Twitter that you like this performance. I think Elle Fanning is a wonderful actress. The performance didn't particularly totally work for me, but you seem to really like it. Yeah, I'm going to talk about this for four and a half hours now. No, you're not. You're going to talk about it for four and a half hours now. No, you're not. You're going to talk about it for one minute.

Elle Fanning, I think, is one of our greatest living actors. I will say that. Am I sounding hyperbolic? I think she's a very promising actress who's given, like, now several great performances. Right?

I have never seen her give a performance that I didn't think was exceptional. Yeah, well, I would say I did. And it was in the film We Bought a Zoo. I think she's incredible. She's only okay in that. I don't think this is an Yeah, well, I would say I did, and it was in the film We Bought a Zoo. I think she's incredible in this movie. She's only okay in it.

I don't think this is an incredible character. I think this movie speaks to her abilities. She's great. I think... She had been in Somewhere the year before, and then she was in Super 8 this year, 2011, which she's phenomenal in. Which she's fucking amazing in, yeah.

And after that, she's in... I mean, she's been kind of all over the place recently. I mean, the movie I cite to everyone... The one movie, I mean, she's not bad in it, but I guess Maleficent's not like an exceptional performance. But I think most of her performances, I think, are really, really. I didn't see Trumbo. Oh, she's fine in Trumbo? I mean, she's better than it's written, you know?

I mean, she's certainly never given a bad performance. I love her. Good actress. I think she's enormously talented. And Neon Demon, she's really great in. I have not seen. She's very good in it, playing a very different type of role. But the film I always cite, where I just totally freaked out,

a really shitty movie that I hate called Phoebe in Wonderland. Haven't seen. I do know about this film. It's a terrible film from the director of Beastly. And it's about, I took it because l fanning i took my sister to see because l fanning was one of the little kids in daddy daycare which is very funny and it was my sister's favorite movie for a long time i took her to go see uh phoebe in wonderland and she plays like an eight-year-old with ocd and it's one of the best portrayals of like mental

illness i've ever seen from an eight year old she's good in Benjamin Button she's really good in Benjamin Button and it was very clear watching that like this isn't a coach performance like there's some innate ability here that's off the charts I think she's very natural and I think in this movie it's so easy to see I think Matt Damon's son in the film is

like totally fine he just feels like a movie teenager right he's kind of grumpy and he's angsty and he's playing the basic notes. He's fine. On paper the character isn't that well written and I think the kid

is playing he's going through the motions. I think Elle Fanning late in the film they summarize her character by Scrooge Hines goes like

you're such a goofball. And she is this girl who's homeschooled who lives on a zoo with her cousin and has sort of no social acumen especially not with

any kids her own age. She's very sincere. Very, achingly sincere. She's a real country girl, as Scarlett Johansson's character kind of puts it. Yeah. And yeah, she's sweet. I think it'd be very easy for an actress to come in

and play this role and just go like, okay, so she's a girl who doesn't, she's awkward. Sure. And you just make it awkward. Bites her lip a lot. Yeah, in sort of like an in quotes kind of obvious way. And I think she, as just one of these people who's very effortless and very engaging on screen,

plays it as like someone who doesn't know that it's not cool to be really excited about everything. You know, that's a good argument. And I think it's one of the least cynical performances I've ever seen in a movie. I'm not saying that as like think it's one of the least cynical performances I've ever seen in a movie. I'm not saying that as like, it's one of the best performances I've seen in a movie, but it's a certain quality that I don't think I've ever seen

done that well, especially from a teenager who's going to innately be very self-conscious as a person, let alone as an actor. Right. She is so achingly open in the film. And the scenes that emotionally work the best for me are the ones with her,

because it's like, this dynamic of watching this boy who's incapable of expressing himself in this very broad strokes sort of by the numbers way and this girl who cannot hide how she feels at all times

I find very emotionally affecting I think it's a great performance from one of our finest living actors Elle Fanning okay well there you go

there you go yeah she's pretty good the romance with the guy doesn't work the guy doesn't work with, the boy doesn't work for me at all. The scene. I just don't like that kid. I don't either.

I think he's a little asshole. I don't either, but the scene where she tells him that she heard, oh, I hear your dad's thinking of selling the zoo, and he hasn't heard it before, and he gets so excited. Right. And she's trying not to cry. Yeah. Yeah, she's good in that scene.

Because he's not thinking about her at all yeah and he clearly has a crush on her and he can't say it right i don't like the boy i think that character is really badly handled yeah he was in under the dome didn't like him in that either yeah um don't like him don't like him they buy the zoo they buy the zoo they absorb this crazy family including cameron crowe's mother that's one thing about watching all the cameron crowe movies there she is right there she is wearing her little like sunflower hat right it's basically silent but she's hanging out I don't think they ever cite who she is or what she does at the zoo but she definitely works there but there's this moment at the end where he

like kind of gathers the staff and he's giving his sort of speech and they're all like looking at him and she's just standing there like in between Peter you know uh Patrick Fugit and you know Scar Jo whatever can I throw another thing out about in between Peter, you know, Patrick Fugit and, you know, ScarJo, whatever. Can I throw another thing out about billing in this movie? You know what? Why don't you just go ahead and do it? Because we both are fascinated by billing. Love billing.

This movie has so many single card billings in the opening credits. Okay. Because in most movies you'll get like the eight main actors get their own individual card. Right, and you start to double up on the kids or whatever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this film is like 12 to 15 people get single card billing, including Peter Reigert, who plays the boss at the newspaper. He's in one scene.

He's in one scene. He's pretty good. Yeah. Good actor. The billing is like 15 people get their own spotlighted. And by the time they double up, it's getting to Cameron Crowe's mom or the Home Depot employee. Right.

You know? Right. Anyway, they buy the zoo. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing. The son is angry. The daughter is delighted. He doesn't know what he's doing. The son's angry. Daughter's delighted. He seems that he's like in the grip of like a

nervous breakdown. Hayden Church is just throwing fucking like, you know, sarcastic like bon mots at him. He pops in and makes fun of him. Yeah. And you know there's all these animals and we meet them all. He lovingly photographs. There's a bear. Yeah. There's a

tiger. Yeah. Two tigers. Yeah. There's a lion. Yeah. There's a bunch of other fucking animals. Peacocks. Peacocks. Snakes. He definitely photographs them lovingly. This film was shot by Rodrigo Prieto who's a great cinematographer. The movie looks great.

It's got a nice kind of sun trench, Instagram filter. Little island in the sun. But it's a nice looking movie. It's a nice looking movie. There's a porcupine. Yeah, that gets some needles in Damon's hand. I don't like it. And it's cute. It's hand. Okay, I don't like it. I don't like it. And it's cute.

It's cute. Like, the film is then cute antics. And it kind of, I'll admit, I kind of drifted off. Like, I mean, I didn't fall asleep, but I was just sort of like, yeah, okay, well, so now what's going to happen is there's going to be some animal stuff, and then there's going to be a problem,

and they're going to have to fix it. If you're not like a small child or like a devoted animal lover who loves watching nature films. Was this movie rated PG? It must have been. It has to be. It and they're going to have to fix it. If you're not like a small child or like a devoted like animal lover who loves watching nature films. Was this movie rated PG? It must have been. It has to be. It's so harmless. It's one of the most. There's no swearing. There's no sex. I mean this is maybe the most basic movie

ever made. Yeah. Right? And it's a real dad movie. It was a PG rated for some thematic elements. Yeah. Including unlisted under violence. Characters discuss the theft of a cash box. A man throws darts at pictures thematic elements. Yeah. Including, unlisted under violence, characters discuss the theft of a cash box. A man throws darts

at pictures of someone he dislikes. Porcupine needles in hand. And so on. You know, I mean, there are a couple different tracks

this movie's work on simultaneously. One is just like, here are the animals, here's the zoo, here's all this stuff. That's the part I find least interesting.

Right. But I'm sure that was the commercial hook that the movie is based around was like, some people love animals. We'll make a movie for animal lovers. Kids will love it. It was in that Marley and Me slot, that Christmas slot. It came out Christmas 2011. And I think, yeah, they were just like, here's a movie.

Fox was the same studio that had released that, which was a Dave Frankel film. It was placed into that mode. And it's like, here's a movie that the whole family may not want to see, but they can at least agree on it because it won't offend any member of the family, right? I hope that you can cruise to some insane opening multiple because of the Christmas corridor between Christmas and New Year's. Every day is a huge movie going day. Between Christmas and February, practically.

This movie is just going to be hanging around. But that idea that every day is going to be a $10 million day because you have families of 12 and they all need to see something together and We Bought a Zoo might be the least objectionable thing. That everyone can go, fine, I'm fine with seeing that. And they see it and they go, that was okay. And then they eat at Five Guys.

You know, whatever. Absolutely. Yeah. They go to Dave and Buster's. Boston Market. Yeah. Ruby Tuesday. California Pizza Kitchen. Yes. Chili's. Boston Market. Yeah. Ruby Tuesday. California Pizza Kitchen. Yes. Chili's. Two goes.

Cheesecake Factory. All right. So. That was. Okay. So the animal stuff is the thing I find the least interesting. It's not interesting. And so it's basically like Matt Damon's like, so what's up with this one?

And Scarlett Johansson's like, well, the problem with this animal is, you know, this problem. And then he kind of learns how to deal with it. They kind of deal with it. But they're all pretty low stakes. The bear escaping is probably the biggest one. The bear escapes and Matt Damon kind of chases down the bear. And so then they're all like, oh, you're brave, Matt Damon. He holds his own against the bear.

And then they have to get a tiger off of a rock because the tiger is sick and old. So they yell at it. And Damon's sad because he doesn't like to kill. He doesn't like dying. They keep on going. You're gonna have to accept at some point we're gonna have to put the tiger down. And he's like, no, goddammit, my wife is dead! Okay, so I was gonna say, I didn't know if you picked up on that, because that mirrors

the fact that his wife died and he hasn't come to terms with that yet. No, I didn't pick up on it until in that scene when they're all yelling at the tiger to get it to move. They all stop yelling and he's still yelling and he's like I put my life on the line for this I'm not over this yet you know like he's yeah no that was what

nudged it over the edge and he's also yelling at his son a little in that way because he goes I just want what's best for you why don't you understand that yeah um he bought a zoo so oh god you knew about you followed the we boughtought a Zoo with Two Zeros Twitter account, right? Yes.

That was Bobby Finger, wasn't it? Was it? I think so. I think that was our friend Bobby Finger. The great Bobby Finger. I'm sorry if I'm misattributing Bobby. I think you're right now. That was wonderful.

You guys should check it out. It's very funny. I scrolled through it today. So there's that track of the movie, which I don't really care about, right? There's the element of it being sort of this midlife crisis financial movie. Yeah, but I don't like that either because it's so- I like it a little more than the animal stuff. I'm going to rank the three elements.

It's easy, but I like it a little more. Uh-oh, you're sinking money into it, and then there comes the moment where it's like you're out of money. You have more money, though. Do you want to put the more money from the wife? He looks in an envelope. He suddenly mysteriously finds $85,000, and it's like, oh, I guess I'll do it. Do you going to put the more money from your wife. He suddenly mysteriously finds $85,000 and is like, oh, I guess I'll do it. Do you gonna put the more money from your wife into the zoo?

No. And he's like, that's a bad idea. I shouldn't do it. I'm gonna do it. You know, like that's the extent of the decision.

Also, the motherfucker bought a zoo at that point. Like, why not double down? You already bought the zoo. But yeah, you know,

whatever. I like, I'm less interested in the financial elements of it than I am. Oh, and there's that moment where like Rhonda, the Carla Gallo character, freaks out and tells everyone like I'm less interested in the financial elements of it than I am there's that moment where like Rhonda the Carla Gallo character freaks out and tells everyone like he's gonna sell the zoo and they're like are you gonna sell the zoo and he's like

no I'm not gonna sell the zoo and it's over Rhonda enjoy moving to Mexico I don't speak Spanish he tells Rhonda to go fuck herself and I can't believe that slipped by the MPAA they gave it a PG. There's that scene where he just tells off Rhonda.

So there's that element. I don't find that... And then they feed her to the animals. And they're all just ritualistically while they feed her piece by piece very slow. The film goes into real time for 45 minutes. You watch the animals peel her flesh off like fucking string cheese and they just go,

fuck you. Fuck you. Guys, that actually doesn't happen in the film. Yeah, no, it happens after the credits. Correct. Suicide Squad. No, go ahead. Go ahead. We bought a zoo. Yeah, we bought a zoo. We didn't.

Let's make it clear. The characters in this film did. Yep. Neither David nor I have ever bought a zoo. True. I cannot speak for Ben. I once worked at a zoo for one week. Did you really?

Yes. When I was eight years old, I worked at the- Good zooing age. Well, it was very good. If Rosie Mee is anything to go by. I worked at the Central Park Zoo in some sort of a summer kid program. It was kind of like a day camp. Who were you playing?

The tiger? The lion? I was assigned to the Red Panda exhibit. Very fun. Red Pandas are very cool. Ben? Never bought a zoo. Okay.

Good to know. I was a little worried. To be fair, Ben feels like someone who might have bought a zoo. If you have bought a zoo, please tweet at us. Hashtag I was a little worried to be fair Ben feels like someone who likes crazy stuff if you have bought a zoo please tweet at us hashtag I bought a zoo at blank check pod

thank you thank you very much I don't find the financial element that interesting I do like the idea of because the movie sets this up

but like Tom Satan Church is like you're doing this because you're going through a crisis you're middle aged you know your wife died

you just quit your job. Like, don't commit to this. And I kind of like the movie that's like him just going like, is this the dumbest fucking decision? Like, too late to get out of it, you know? I don't like the financial shit. I like the sort of internal struggle of him trying to figure out whether or not he's an idiot for having gotten into this thing.

I think that works okay. Then there's the main track to this movie that I think is pretty successful, which is a movie about grief. I think it's pretty successful. I think it's more successful than Elizabeth. 100%. So I'll give it that.

This movie feels almost to me like, and this is where I'd love to find out someday, somehow, if he added the dead wife element or if that was an Allie and Brash McKenna thing. I would love to know. But it would require me watching more about We Bought a City, which probably isn't going to happen. Yeah, which I don't really want to do the research. But it does feel to me like that whole plot of the film, which is what the movie starts on and ends on, and ends up being sort of the larger thematic theme of the movie, feels like a corrective to Elizabethtown. Yeah.

theme of the movie feels like a corrective to Elizabethtown. Yeah. And it feels like a much smarter portrayal of grief because Elizabethtown is a guy who

we're supposed to buy is suicidal and is inconsolable. Yeah. But also just seems totally happy-go-lucky the entire time. Right.

And this movie is about a guy who wants everyone to think that he's doing okay and isn't really addressing what's going on. So you don't get sad sack Matt Damon. He's pretty fucking

like functional the entire film. He's pretty chipper. It's just like almost too chipper. Like in the same way that the girl is almost too cute. But I'd say his chipperness is like part of it's baked into the cake of this film. That's what he needs

to overcome you know. And it's an okay cake. It tastes okay. The grief stuff really works for me. I will say that. So you like the frosting and the rest of it's okay and then but you know the other thing is you're a real sad miserable bastard i'm a sad miserable bastard and you know the the sentimental bone in my body i think is a pretty direct carbon copy of the this one of the sentimental bones in cameron crowe's body i think you know i try to

avoid like super like treacly kind of manipulative bullshit. But Cameron Crowe's sentimentality, even when it's overcooked, just goes down for me. It's a wavelength I am on. That's the whole thing with him. You're either into that or you aren't. Yeah. I'm okay with it. Yeah.

I just think I like the way this movie deals with grief. I like that it's not overwrought. I think anytime the movie tries to too directly marry the zoo stuff to the grief stuff like him yelling at the tiger it kind of falls apart. Yes. So this movie for me

is like I go back scene by scene going like what the fuck is this and then being like this scene's really getting to me. This scene's pretty good. This scene's pretty well observed.

Yeah. So. Cat Stevens. Don't be shy. That's what the song's called. Don't be shy. Don't think twice. Don't think twice

is a great movie by the way. Have you seen it? No. By the time this called. Don't Be Shy. Don't Think Twice. Don't Think Twice is a great movie, by the way. Have you seen it? No. By the time this episode is released, I'm sure I'll have seen it. Really good. Starring former guest, friend of the show, Chris Catherd. Yeah, and starring a future guest and future friend of the show, Keegan-Michael Key. Yeah, and future friend of the show, Gillian Jacobs.

Yeah, we're going to get all of them on. Yep. So, we somehow made that our mission to get the cast of Don't Think Toy. Conor Ratliff's also in that film right? He is. Yeah he's been on the show. I was an intern for Perbigula in college. I've had one terrible interaction with Periglia

which I will not share on this podcast because it will take too much time. Please don't. I behaved poorly and made a real fool of myself. Sounds great. I had two interactions one was really nice and the second one I burned my breath. Anyway. So the film has the nominal climactic sort of sequence

in which they need to get the zoo up to code so it can pass the inspection. We'll spend no time on this. John Michael Higgins has a tape measure that's electronic and it's like a wee-wee. It's like a wee-wee that's getting a boner. Ben's excited for some reason.

What is his name, Griffin? What's his name? Bad Zoo Boy. Oh, Bad Zoo Boy. I'm sorry. He's a bad zoo inspector. Ben, I am so sorry. My most profound apology.

Thank you, guys. Okay? You can tell that he's a badass, and he plays by his own rules. Yeah, and he hates the Scottish guy and they fight and whatever. That's going on. There's a scene where they go to the Home Depot and he uses the credit card. It's a cute scene. And she's like, I love that zoo.

And the credit card's like chipped. And he's like, I'm sorry, I've been maxing it out. And she's like, no, you work for the, that zoo. I love that zoo. Is that coming back? And you see that people online, it's like this idea that people have just been waiting a year for the zoo to open, but they never really talk about it. There's like that moment. There's no, no. And then later in the film, she's like, we've been have just been waiting a year for the zoo to open. But they never really talk about it. There's like that moment.

There's no. No. And then later in the film, she's like, we've been flyering 7-7. We're opening 7-7. And then it just rains for a month. No, no, no, no, no. No, you're getting it wrong. Okay.

So here's, you know, this is how they deal with the promotion of the zoo. You're correct about this. He discovers that his son's a great artist or he remembers this. Yeah. And he takes a picture of the sun that the sun did have a tiger that they had to put down. I watched this last night and I already entirely forgot that this happened. They put it on the poster

and that's what gets the sun into the zoo, you know? Yeah. And then they flyer. You don't see the flyering, but that's, you know. And then it rains before the zoo's gonna open

the day before. Don't be a shark. And like the weather report's like, it's gonna rain forever, which is not really a weather report. No, it says, I wrote it down, this is gonna be the wettest summer in a hundred years. Aye, aye, aye.

And then he wakes up the morning of and it's not raining. Phew. Great. But then no one shows up to the zoo. Oh, no. But then they go and check. A tree fell on the road. Oh, no.

Oh, no. They step over the tree. Who's behind the tree? Everybody. It's like it's a line for the new fucking iPhone dropping. And people park their cars. They're out over the tree. Who's behind the tree? Everybody! It's like it's a line for the new fucking iPhone dropping. And people park their cars. They're out in the street. Zoo! Zoo! Zoo!

It's so fucking dumb. And he goes, come on in. And they all have to climb over the tree like it's an adventure. Because life's an adventure, David. And then it's like, and Sigur Rós, who did the music, Jonsi or whatever his name is. A couple of original songs. He's got a Seagur Rose song

building on the soundtrack. And you've got This is only like two years after Slumdog, three years? Three years. Which used that song as like their big climatic thing. This movie uses the song three times in a row.

They start it, it fades out, and then 30 seconds later, they'll start the song over again from the beginning. I think we're supposed to assume that it was a mix of sentimentality and that great fucking tiger picture. That's so fucking good that somehow got record numbers to go to this zoo. That Home Depot woman, you have to imagine for the last month, every customer. That zoo's coming back.

7-7. That zoo you like's going to come back in style. As long as the bad zoo boy doesn't shut him down. Uh-oh, watch out. And he almost does. He's about to. He's hovering over the no. There's a great shot where you see the pen.

He's moving his pen between don't open zoo and open zoo. And then the daughter's like, Mr., everyone says you're a dick, but I don't think you are, whatever it means. Cece really toeing that PG line. I don't think it's going to work. Everyone cries. For you to open the zoo. It's like the most annoying shit in the world.

You'd think Cameron Crowe would, but I guess he's just like, let's lean into this. This is a big applause line movie. Cameron Crowe's trying but I guess he's just like, let's lean into this. This is a big applause line movie. Cameron Crowe's trying to get back on base. He hasn't even been up to bat in a while, and his last time was a strikeout. He wants to get on base. So it feels like there are some concessions in this movie. But within it is a corrective of maybe this is a better way to make a movie about grief. Married with some things that might work in a more conventional way.

It's the more conventional way. Yeah. And look, America bought a ticket. This film did pretty well. Um, it did. Well, we'll get to that. Yeah, okay. But he bought his... So two other things happen. Yeah. One, he kisses Scarlett Johansson

out of nowhere in the shed. We have barely talked about her character because it's my least favorite part of the movie. She's not much of a character. I mean, she's sort of no-nonsense. She's a zoo nerd. She's a zoo nerd. Yeah, she likes zoos. She's 28.

When she shot this film, she was 26. Sounds right. Maybe 27. I remember Amy Adams being in talks, or at least in contention for this role, and then I think she turned down to the Muppets instead. This film would make a lot more sense with Amy Adams. You could see the Elle Fanning character being a daughter rather than a cousin, you know, or a niece.

And also in a film, there's a part early in the movie where Thomas Hayden Church is like, why don't you ask out that one woman who gave you the lasagna? She was a looker. And he goes, I don't even know what a looker is. Is that what it is these days? Yeah. And he's like, cause I had the real thing. That's the thing. that what it is these days yeah and he's like because i had the real thing that's the thing he said it's

tough for me to even know because i had the real thing and it's like his wife in this movie is by all accounts was the greatest person who ever lived right everyone who met her was so thoroughly charmed by her she was drop dead gorgeous for him to then after so much resistance to all these housewives and uh single mothers at the' school at the beginning of the movie who are all just throwing their lasagna and their genitals at him to then fall in love with a 28-year-old who, okay, I understand extreme circumstances. She's beautiful. She looks like Tarzan Hansen.

You're working together in an enclave where you barely see anybody else. Right. You know? But he doesn't fall in love with her. No, but it's like such a— They have crushes on each other. Yeah, and it's just like you should know better than that. Like you're resisting going on dates

with anybody she's 28 this is not gonna be a good lasting thing you're harming the business alright alright she's your head zookeeper alright well look

one I kind of agree with you you almost wish it just like they have that one scene earlier where she's like they both like we're not gonna act

he says like I think you're a very beautiful woman but I'm not gonna be I'm totally in my head I would be offended if you did she goes

and it's a good Cameron Crowe line she says also if I want to kiss you, you wouldn't have a choice. It would be whatever it was. Yeah. And then it just, maybe it was a network note or maybe Cameron Crowe just likes kissing. But, you know, it's just like, well, you know what? Let's have him make out a little and say like, hey, maybe we'll keep doing this.

You know, it's all very cash. It's very cash. I would like this movie 10% more if it didn't happen. It's all very cash. It's very cash. I would like this movie 10% more if it didn't happen. I would A, commend this movie for not forcing them into any sort of romantic relationship and just making it a movie about a man and a woman who work together and respect each other. And even if it was just the scene where he's like, you're attractive, but we're never going to act upon it,

would be nice because you're acknowledging that they're both beautiful movie stars, charismatic, and they would obviously want to fuck each other. But I like that they hold it back and they just make it, oh, next Tuesday obviously want to fuck each other right but uh i i just you know i like that they hold it back and they just make it oh make out next tuesday you want to make out some more but like you don't fucking need to do it it makes me uncomfortable because she's so young she's playing older than she is and the age she's playing is still too young for him especially someone who is such a fucking dad in this movie and it's such a different point in his life right and i just it makes me worried about the future of the business because that breakup's gonna be

tough or even if there's just a point where it's like maybe let's not make out so much. I mean what's gonna fucking happen then? You know? She's finding this movie. The next year Avengers comes out and her career suddenly starts making sense again and she rebounds really hard. That's the thing. She was in such an odd spot

and she's just about to pull out of it. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, they make, but that's not, so that's the one thing. Yes. But then the other thing is that he finally gets the courage, after the zoo's a huge success, to go into the restaurant that he met his wife at. It's the final scene in the movie. It's the best scene.

It is the best scene. I told you because you watched this movie in like two halves. Yeah, I watched the first hour of it. Took a little break. And you were like, you're right. It's pretty charming. And I was like, get ready for the fucking ending. Because Cameron Crowe sticks the landing. The 20 seconds of insane courage. Which he says to the son when he can tell.

Because he's like, I know you fucking like Elle Fanning and now she thinks you're an asshole and you're not doing anything to fix it. And he says a thing I've said to many people drunkenly when I'm trying to encourage them to say stuff. I quote, we bought a zoo. Right. And I'm like, I'm telling you, all you need is 20 seconds of incredible courage,

and I promise you amazing things can happen. Blind, stupid courage, or whatever he says. I think it's a pretty good Cameron Crowe line. And he shows the... He brings the kids into the restaurant. And you're like, what's going on? Where's this film going? Because they open the zoo.

It's a big success. Everything's great. Everyone's happy. Right? And I got a little choked up just because... I mean, they did it. They did it. These crazy fuckers.

I mean, kind of like we were talking about, you know, the movies where it's like, you can't do it. They did it. These crazy fuckers. They bought a zoo. We were talking about, you know, the movies where it's like, you can't do it. They did it. He's like, the dogs were in the hotel. They said it couldn't be done. They said those dogs couldn't run that hotel. They said maybe a motel. No.

They wanted a hotel. A holiday inn? No. I watched this movie, and as much as I don't care about the zoo subplot or or main plot rather the zoo elements of this film uh that crazy bastard did it he fucking pulled it off he fucking bought a zoo and he ran a zoo and he opened a zoo now he's gonna finally confront the ghosts of his wife literally i love this played by uh what's her name? Stephanie Shostak. Shostak?

I think it's pronounced Shostak. Something like that. I have the pronunciation. Shostak. Shostak. Stephanie Shostak, who is- From Dinner for Schmucks and Iron Man 3. A French actress.

She's in Iron Man 3. She was in the show Satisfaction, which I believe aired on USA for a couple years. I like her a lot as an actress. I feel like she has not been given enough to do in any American film, but I think she's good. I think she's good. It's such a cheesy scene. It's so incredibly cheesy. It does work.

I mean, this is what he does well. I would say, if I want to criticize it, I would say it kind of sticks out like a sore thumb a little bit at the end of the movie. I didn't feel like it was building up to that because half the movie is about a zoo. Yeah, it's mostly about a zoo. And then he's like, okay, kids.

But Damon does a good job. He goes, I'm going to show you how I met your mom. And he brings him in. He's sitting right there. Wait a second. And he runs out. And he's like, I'm walking down the street. But the kids look over and they see the mom. Well, that's after he comes back in. And he goes, 20 seconds on the clock.

Right, right. And then the kids see the mom. The movie stops for a second. And in. And he goes, 20 seconds on the clock. Right, right. And then the kids see the mom, the movie stops for a second, and then they go, hi, mom. Which is beautiful, but it's like he's made the moment so vivid to them that they can see her there. Right. And he goes, okay, so I have 15 seconds on the clock. Still. And I'm wondering, what do I even say? And so I say, excuse me.

And then, I think that's when there's the long pause and the kids see the mother, right? Yes. And then I say, hi, mom. And you're wondering what he's going to say. Oh, my God. Do you have the line exactly? I don't have it exactly. It's something like, we bought a zoo.

Cut to credits. A film by Cameron Crane. Excuse me. We bought a zoo. He says something along the lines of, why would an incredible, fascinating, beautiful woman like you ever talk to an idiot like me? Right.

And she says, why not? And the last line of the film is, her spirit comes alive and says, why not? And the kids and he and they all sit there and they stop ignoring what happened and they accept that they love their mother. The end. Beautiful. Good end. I'm sobbing that they love their mother. The end. Beautiful. Good end. I'm sobbing.

It works for me. It does. It does. I think it's easy to make fun of. But it works for me. I think so too. But look, dude, I mean, all of Cameron Crowe's easy to make fun of. It's easy to make fun of the boombox over the head.

And I'm not saying this is as good. It is. But when he's at his best, it's this heart on your sleeve. Like, yeah, on its face, this is ridiculous. And it's so fucking like you know openly aggressively violently emotional

but he speaks to some kind of truth and there's some moments like that there's a moment I like where he's on the laptop looking through the pictures of the wife and you're looking

through the still photos and I'll say big pet peeve of mine is movies with badly doctored photos of actors yeah but those are great but they're really well done in it there's one that looks a great. But they're really well done in it.

There's one that looks a little off, but they're basically great. Yeah, and it's like... I mean, I think it's mostly her pictures or his pictures and like, you know. But there's a couple of them together clearly both as 25-year-olds. No, they're good.

And it's like really well done and he's going through the photos and then one of them sort of comes to life. And not in like a crazy, like fucking ghost way, but it's a still photo and she opens her eyes and she turns to look at him and it's just like you know he cries sitting alone on the floor and he doesn't overdo it you know i just think it's a pretty good movie about just like grieving takes time it's a pretty good movie about grieving takes time it's an okay movie about buying a zoo yeah and it exists in the world

and you can see it anytime if you want to it's a low key charmer I recommend it if you have nothing else to do it's rated PG I really don't think that any child

would like it except for the animal stuff oh kids who love animals would like it they'd like the animal stuff yeah what about the expanded universe

you mean the expanded zoo universe yes you're talking spinoff films? Yeah, well, like, what about a prequel, you know, They Sold the Zoo? Be a good sequel.

They were forced into... Prequel sequel? You're talking about spinoffs? I mean, we bought a ticket for the zoo. You could make a separate film about everyone who has ever gone to the zoo as a customer. Let's play the box office game. Okay.

This film came out in December, Christmas time, four-day weekend, December 23rd, 2011. Wow. It opened at number six. Yeah, it didn't open well, but it multiplied well. With $15 million over the long weekend. It multiplied to $75 million.

It's pretty solid. Just decent, domestic. I think the movie only. It multiplied to $75 million. It's pretty decent. Pretty solid. Domestic. I think the movie only cost $40 or $50. It cost $50 to make. It made $120 worldwide. Not a big hit by any means. I think it probably did well on home video, but it's a solid on-base double. You know?

Fine. Yeah. I would say it's a single. I'd say it's a double. No. But do you want to guess what the top five films of that that weekend and christmas were 2011 okay so i gotta i gotta place my i'm trying to think what the big christmas blockbuster was in 2011 so 2011 is uh i'm thinking of other family movies uh hugo

came out that year but had come out a month earlier that came out thanks yeah hugo is down at number 12 muppets came out in thanks. Muppets is down at number 11. Did Disney have a big Christmas release? You know, not really. No? They have a film that, they have War Horse, which opened at number 7. And the Muppets is technically Disney. Right, and

Tintin is still in the top 10? Tintin is number 5. It opens that week with $23 million. One of my picks for one of the most underrated films of the decade. One day we're going to do an episode about it, I think. I love Tintin. Yeah, we're going to do a mini-series just on Tintin. So you've got number five.

Okay, number five. All right, number four will do up. Yeah, let's go with Ascending. Number four is a film that also had come out that week that was expected to be really big. A disappointment. It did fine. It opened to 27. I think it cleared about 100 total.

Live action or animated? Live action, R-rated, very dark. It was a very dark film. Adaptation. 27. Oh, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. That's right. Yes.

Which I also think is an underrated movie. And it's a film that squeaked to 100. People thought it was going to be like- They thought it was going to be a franchise starter, but I think people were getting a little sick of the girl with the dragon tent you know if it had come out a couple years earlier and there wasn't already a fucking swedish movie but yeah yeah and as much as like they got a lot of juice out of like the joke of like whoa it's the feel bad movie of christmas time i think that was a

bad time to release that terrible time yeah no they were they were really it's the opposite of we bought a zoo no family's gonna want to see together. And this is the time of the year where your personal movie-going choices are probably thrown out the door to appease the... I think they're going for the other family approach, which is, let's all go to the multiplex. You guys will go see the film that's number three in the box office,

which you're going to have to guess in a second. And you, you know, mom and daughter go see We Bought a Zoo, and I'm going to go see Go with the Dragon Tattoo. So you know what I think their actual approach was? Well, I think that was their intended goal. I think what actually happened at the box office for them was... And I didn't mean to be so gendered about it. I know, I know.

This is how the studios think. I think what actually happened was the only people who went to see the movie were people who don't talk to their families. You know, who were just like, I'm going to go see what I want to see. I went to see it with a bunch of friends who all like the book. I did too. I saw it with John Goldberg

but you and I see five movies a week. I think that's why the film underperformed to some degree. Number three. It's a film that you probably could be able to fucking talk about. With such disdain you say. Is it a children's picture? Yes. It's second weekend and it has now made

56 million dollars at the box office. It eventually makes $133 and $340 million total worldwide. Interesting. Is it animated or live action? It is a mix of the two. Well, see, I think you're assuming. I was going to guess this was in the 10 at number three, actually, preemptively. You're assuming I've seen this one. I have not.

I believe it is Alvin the Chipmunk's Chipwrecked. That's correct. I have only seen 1 and 4 because I hated the first film and I only came back on board because my boy Walt Becker had taken the reins. Who directed Chipwrecked? Oh, I can tell you exactly who it is. Do you have it there? I do. Mike Mitchell?

Yes, that's correct. I can tell you all four directors. Yes, which is one of my favorite movies. First film was directed by Tim Hill, I believe, who directed Muppets from Space. Second film was directed by Betty Thomas, who was a cast member on Hill Street Blues. That's Road Chip. And then went on to direct Dr. Dolittle and I Spy. Oh, okay. Sure.

A bunch of Eddie Murphy comedies. Right. And then, of course, the OG Walt Becker. The original garbage filmmaker. Anyway, that's number three at the box office. Number two. Number two is a sequel. I have never seen it.

I did see the first film. It's in its second week of release. Sherlock Holmes Game of Shadows? Yeah. Never seen it. Some people like it. Yeah. I've only seen the last ten minutes on TV and thought it was better than I thought it would be.

Because I don't like the first movie. I barely remember the first one. I mean, I remember when the first one came out and we were all just like, Robert Downey Jr. We love him. We love him. You know, we're going to see it. Yeah. And then we saw it and we were like, hey, good score. I'll say, the score is great for that movie.

That is the only movie where I just openly checked my emails in the middle of the film. I turned my phone off at the beginning of every movie. Well, it was the early days of smartphones, you know. No, but even then, I just was like, I'm so uninterested. I would rather see because I'm waiting on a couple of big emails. Jared Harris plays Moriarty in the second film, and he is a great actor. So I remember watching the last 10 minutes and being like, oh, this already seems more engaging because he's doing some interesting work. The original Alvin

and the original Sherlock were also released the same weekend, which is why I was trying to guess those two part and parcel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes.

And they both made lots of money as did those two sequels. Number one is maybe my favorite action film of the decade and probably one of my favorite action films

of all time. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. One of my favorite action films of all time. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol. One of the best American films of the 2010s. I prefer

Rogue Nation. I love Rogue Nation, but nothing beats Ghost Pro... For me, it's all about Rogue Nation. Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol is one of the only movies in my life that I have actively gasped during. Like like out loud I mean yes in Utah and IMAX

right yeah that sequence is unbelievable I think it's the best it's like a ballet film it's the greatest thing I've ever seen I think Rogue Nation hangs together better as a movie even though Ghost Protocol has better set pieces um you know what

Mission Impossible that franchise could work as a miniseries it's 100% a blank check every single one is a blank check you've got the first one writing the checks but yeah

the first one where Cruise is writing his own check yeah and cashing it with a crazy director yeah the second one which is the fucking worst

yeah which I saw three times at the time is the director at his peak certainly being like the most like him the most John Woo coming out like here he's getting the full

it was a huge hit and then the third one in retrospect is great but at the time it was like people were like what the fuck is this big financial disappointment why are they getting a TV guy and he'd been in production for years and Carnahan was supposed to make it oh he dropped out like three weeks

before filming started and they threw out the script. J.J. Abrams, that guy does TV. Why would you let him take over a franchise? Right. And then goes Prote and then Rogue Nation. Brad Grud and Christopher McQuarrie.

Yeah. I'd love to do a Man's Stage. Maybe when Six comes out we'll do a retrospective. Yeah. Am I? Yeah. Mission Impossible.

Love Mission Impossible. Podcast. Podcast. Mish Yeah. Mission Impossible. Love Mission Impossible. Podcast. Podcast. Mishcast. Okay. Potable. So War Horse is up there. New Year's Eve is still in there.

Oh, New Year's Eve. Razor glass. The Descendants is hanging out. At the bottom, you were tweeting about Matthew Lillard yesterday and how good he is. He is very good. He's better than Scooby-Doo, but yeah. He's also excellent in the FX TV show, The Bridge. Oh, really? Really good in that. I know he was on that. That was his post-Descendant. Yeah, but I want He's also excellent in the FX TV show The Bridge. Oh, really?

Really good in that. I know he was on that. That was his post-descendant. Yeah, but I want him in big screen. I want him in pictures. That's you. David's making a constipated face, which is a pretty good impression

because I'm usually holding in a shit. This film is ranked number five in the family animal brackets live action section on Box Office Mojo behind Eight Below, Snow Dogs, Free Willy, and March of the Penguins. Not sure why Dr. Doolittle isn't on this list. Can I sidebar for a second? I, uh, you know,

just moved, had to go through all my belongings. I went through a box. This was a box that I had moved from my childhood bedroom to my old apartment and now was going through for the new apartment to try to, like, throw out stuff and, you know, lose weight in the move. I apparently, for some fucking reason, owned a complete collection of Free Willy 2 trading cards.

I don't remember seeing that movie. Free Willy 2, The Rescue? Is that what it's called? Yes, I think. Or The Journey Home. I think you're right. I think Free Willy 3 might be The Rescue. I swear to God, I don't think. The Adventure Home. I don't're right. I think Free Willy 3 might be the rescue. I swear to God, I don't think...

The Adventure Home. I don't think I've seen Free Willy 2. I owned every single trading card. I saw the first one in theaters. I thought it was okay. I saw the first one in theaters. Loved it. David, why did I own every one?

They were like the enumerated, like the cards told the story of the film, and I had literally every one. Da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Anyway. You know, they bought the zoo. of the film and I had literally every one. Anyway. You know, they bought the zoo. That's the real takeaway here. Can we do a quick merch spotlight?

Oh yeah. Did you buy a zoo? Zoo for sale? Fuck yeah, that was my joke. Oh shit, I'm sorry. That's okay. Merchandise spotlight, zoos! You can buy a zoo! Ben, I'm gonna make you a deal.

What's up? David owes you 10 comedy points. Oh, okay. So at some point in the future, if you make a joke that doesn't land because David just stole your joke, you can ask David to gift you 10 comedy points. Fantastic. A joke that you feel deserved better. Can I get little bits and pieces?

Do I have to get it just in one shot? Ooh, I like that. You can divide your points however you like. Good call. Right, so if you want a couple, you know. Yeah. So we're done with We Bought a Zoo? Yeah, we bought it.

We bought it. Next week we're going to do Aloha? Yeah. So this is the thing. You know, it's so funny. It's like Crow gets away from maybe being a little too crowy makes a pretty formula movie back on base he just got his sea legs back it's it does fine and he's like great now i can make my movie about the militarization of space here we go you know

like he swerves right back out of the out of the skin remember that movie that people didn't want me to make for almost a decade that That movie that kept falling apart almost as if it's cursed. Right. Huh. Anyway, I think I'm starting to be a great Asian lady. Despite having some of those popular stars in Hollywood, people don't want to make it. Well, let me get now the most popular stars in Hollywood and try to make it again.

Anyway, aloha. That's going to be fascinating. Yeah. We bought the zoo. That's great. That's great.. We bought the zoo. And that's great. That's great. How are you guys doing? I'm doing well. I have a segment, closing segment, I want to throw out here.

This is a new segment. It's going to be a recurring segment for, you know, the rest of at least this miniseries. Yes. It's called... Tips for watching the tick pilot on Amazon. Go ahead, sure. In the window between August 19th and September 19th. Oh, it's only a month?

Yes. Well, that's why I'm going to start this segment. And then they pull it off? Yes. I'm going to start this segment to answer some commonly asked questions and give you tips for how your view can make the biggest impact for me. Right. Okay?

Amazon's pilot season is that they put these pilots up online, and they gauge. They lick their finger, they hold it up to the wind, and they take the temperature, and they go, do people want more of these? And if people want more of this, then I have a job. Right. So you want that to be picked up. Very badly. Understood. Yes. And not just any job I have a job. Right. So you want that to be picked up. Very badly. Understood. Yes. And not just any job,

my dream job. And a project I love, a character that is near and dear to me, I grew up loving, I am now very personally attached to, want to continue doing. So, people have asked a lot. How do I watch it? Where do I watch it? When do I watch it?

Is it voting? All of this. I want to just pump into the public consciousness, week by week, remind them that the thing's happening because there is this 30-day window. It goes online August 19th. On September 19th, it will be pulled because what Amazon likes to do is, if they pick

the show up, when they film the season, they retool the pilot a little so the thing is a little more cohesive season-wide. So you have a 30-day window to watch it. Do you need to have Amazon Prime to watch it? No! Anyone can go onto the homepage

and watch the show. But David, this is very, very important. Yes. This has been imparted to me by my boss, Ben Edlund, who apparently heard this from higher ups at Amazon. If you start watching the show and then you go, oh, fuck, dinner plans. And you pause it and you go out and then later you come back home and you watch the whole thing. Well, Amazon's computer system is going to look at that like you gave up on the show.

OK. You're kind of bored. So, you gave up on the show. Okay. You were kind of bored. So be ready to vote a half hour. Yes. And this is big. We're not talking one of these fucking Netflix. Not these 65 minute. Yeah.

This ain't no get down. Get the fuck out of here. Amazon's going wham, bam, thank you, ma'am or sir. Yes. This is a 30-minute pilot. Right. A straight shot of tick. But you gotta carve out a window.

That was great, Griffin. That's my tip for this week. When you watch the pilot, make sure you have 30 minutes and you can watch it to the end, to the last credits. We got it. Great.

And this segment will be coming back every week and people are gonna love it. When they hear this segment, they're gonna go, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. Oh, this is so funny. This is the funniest part of this podcast. Yes.

Cool. That's the end of that segment. Thank you all for listening. Please rate, review. Wait, you don't have a burger report? No. What's the thing? No, I don't have one.

I went to Comic-Con. I desperately looked. I couldn't find any whatsoever. Sure. I saw Anna Gassnire in an airport. I once saw Anna Gassnire eat a burger, but this was before the podcast. I didn't think it was worth telling.

I don't have a burger report. I'm out, man. Yeah, we basically got the last one out of you, the one where you had to bleep the name. Yeah, that was a good one. That was a great one. Look, I'm constantly scouring. Look, here's an incentive to people.

Tickets picked up, I get a season. I become some big-time FAMO. Maybe you'll get some more burger reports. I might become some big time FAMO maybe you'll get some more burger reports I might get invited into those FAMO burger joints you know

get to watch so you know that's if you're a blankie and you like yourself some burger reports you gotta watch the tick but you gotta watch it

from beginning to end David is nodding his head so hard that he literally shook his headphones straight off how long have we been running Benny?

uh an hour forty well this is the end of this episode that he literally shook his headphones straight off. How long have we been running, Benny? An hour 40. Well, this is the end of this episode. We bought the zoo, and we were happy to buy you guys some of our time today. I don't know. I didn't know what to do. Couldn't have put it better myself. I didn't know what to do.

Great. Review. We're done. Subscribe. Listen. Recommend to friends. Yes, please. We'll be back next week for Aloha.

Yep. I believe with... Podloha with Esther Zuckerman of the AV Club. Yes. My great friend Esther Zuckerman. Written for many great outlets. Has written for the Atlantic Wire. Or Frontier 29.

Entertainment Weekly. Ever heard of them? Yep. You fucking idiot. Yep. Read a magazine. Exactly. Or a blog. Exactly. You fucking idiot. Yep. Read a magazine. Exactly. Or a blog.

Exactly. You fucking piece of shit. Padloha, next week with Esther Zuckerman, the great Esther Zuckerman. Uh-huh, and,

as always, Well, I just, I just remembered the one important thing we forgot to set up. Ben? What's up?

Ben, do you want to share with the listeners your favorite part of the movie? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. We do have to do this before we end the episode. Not to get this close to the finish line. Come on, just shut up and let him do it. Okay. Scarlett Johansson. Very cute.

Cute. I like her. Great. She said my name throughout the movie. Great. Okay. Rate, review, subscribe. And as always always i'm slightly worried that i'm going to be put on a sex offenders registry watch list for talking about all fanning that much yep makes sense a little bit more all right okay bye-bye Bye. Bye, Izzy.