Blaze Your Own Trail - An Inspiring Story of True Grit & Grace with Amberly Lago

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

About Amberly: Amberly’s life story of astounding resilience has inspired a revolutionary lesson she offers to the world. She brings unique strategies developed to teach others how to tap into their superpower of resilience and persevere through any challenge.  She is a powerhouse of energy on stage with a story that will engage and captivate any audience. Her keynote speeches, best-selling book, workshops, and podcasts offer hope and solutions for living life at its fullest to those in chronic pain (like her) and those who find themselves struggling against any obstacle. In this episode we discuss: Amberly's upbringing Some hard things that happened in her life Amberly's dance Career The accident that almost took her leg How to build Grit & resilience Why she became sober And much more Connect with Amberly:  Website: https://amberlylago.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amberlylagomotivation/ Purchase Amberly's Book: https://amberlylago.com/book/ Listen to Amberly's Podcast: https://amberlylago.com/podcast/ Thanks for listening! Connect with Jordan: LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanjmendoza/⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/therealjordanjmendoza/⁠ Clapper: ⁠https://clapper.vip/jordanjmendoza⁠ Join my Facebook Group: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/linkedintrailblazers⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.blazeyourowntrailconsulting.com Installing strategic sales systems & processes will stop the constant revenue rollercoaster you might be facing which is attainable through our 6 Week Blazing Business Revenue Coaching ProgramBook a discovery call with Jordan now to learn more! Are you an entrepreneur?Join my FREE Group Coaching Community where we have live calls, Q&A and more! Our Trailblazer Ecosystem also enables you to network with other entrepreneurs and creator hub eliminates multiple subscriptions and logins creating a one stop shop to take action!Use code: FOUNDING100 for 12 months access FREE and Founding pricing for life! (While Supplies Last)Join now! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I had a total 11 jobs between the age of 11 and 17, just trying to help and support my mom. When I gave away my ATS resume template, I used to church $3,000 for it. If I were someone that wanted to work with you, I think the thing that would resonate with me the most is the fact that you have been as far as they will fall. I gave her all my videos, and today she's sent me a message saying I got my first client, and it could not be happier for her. On my show, one thing I love to do is really get context into people's journey. I saw eggs and I sold vegetables door to door. I saw newspapers. I do it because they truly care to help.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. I'm your host, Jordan Mendoza. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza. I'm your host, and I've got a very special guest today. Her name is Amber Lee Lago, and I'm going to have her tell you a little bit about who she is and what she does today. Hey, Jordan. I'm so happy to be here.

get to talk to you finally. Let's see, I am, I would say a fitness addict, a mom, an entrepreneur. I'm the host of true grit and grace. I'm a big fan of your podcast. I lead a mastermind called Unstoppable Life Mastermind because I love empowering women and anything else. Oh, and I'm a speaker. I'm an inspirational speaker and I'm really here to give as many tips and tools as I can to your incredible audience on how to tap into their own superpower of resilience. I love it, love it. And I can't wait to really dive into your story and journey. There's so much to talk about you definitely have true grit and grace from everything that

I've gotten to know about you. So my favorite part of the show, Amber Lee, is really, it's taken a rewind. It's diving back in and getting some context into our guest's journey because, as you know, the journey is what's most important. We all have our own. that none of us have a perfect journey. But the hope is that people will get inspired through learning about your story. So if you can share with the audience, you know, where were you born and raised?

We're talking adolescent, elementary, middle, high school years. And then what kind of kid were you? What kind of things did you like to get into? Oh, my gosh. Well, I definitely got into a lot of trouble. I mean, good trouble. But I'm here in Dallas or a small town outside of Dallas. And that's actually where I was born and raised.

but I never really quite felt like I fit in. I felt like I was always a little bit different. And, you know, thankfully, my mom put me in dance lessons when I was three because I had just so much energy and would nonstop. And she would yell at me in the kitchen because I couldn't stop tap dancing. And she'd be like, get out of here and stop. I would drive her crazy. I was dancing all the time. I got in trouble in school because my attention span was short.

and I would daydream about the next exciting thing that I was doing. And so they actually put me in the special needs class, like the class for people with disabilities. And so that really impacted my confidence. And in that class, I still got in trouble in that class. And then lo and behold, I got tested when I was in eighth grade for something called talented and gifted. And they thought, oh, we made a mistake.

She's actually not in the class. for people that have learning disabilities, although I think maybe I was a little, I don't know, I've never been diagnosed, but maybe ADHD or something like that. But I was tested as talented and gifted and they put me in this program where I got to be creative and I got to do like hang out with the smart kids. And so that really started to boost my confidence. But growing up, you know, my parents got divorced. My mom remarried a man who at eight years old, I started getting sexually abused. And as a kid, when you go, you know, you turn to someone who you think you can trust or you look up to and something like that happens, there's so much shame that comes around that.

And I didn't tell anybody for a long time. And I know we're going kind of deep and heavy on this, but I just want people to get an idea of how you can have situations and circumstances and something that feels so shameful and is shameful in that experience. And you can turn that into something to help other people. I didn't tell anybody about this as a kid until I was about 13 because my stepdad said, if you tell anyone, I'm going to kill your mom. And I believed him. But it got so bad that when I was age 13, I did go to my dad.

And I said, Dad, please, you got to promise not to tell anybody, but this is what's going on. And Jordan, he didn't tell anybody and he didn't do anything. And, you know, my dad is, we have a great relationship now and actually we've healed our relationship. But in that moment, when someone doesn't stand up for you or someone doesn't go to rescue you, it did two things. First of all, it made me feel like I wasn't worthy enough to be protected or loved. But then it did something magical. I thought to myself, well, it's up to me to take care of myself. And if I want my life to be better, it's up to me. And so after that moment, I actually stood up to my stepdad.

The next time he came into my bedroom, I fought him off. I kicked him. I pulled his hair. And he never touched me again. And I also turned to athleticism as my outlet. And I didn't realize until much, not until later in life, that I would actually kind of ran from a lot of shame and pain. that fueled me to be the best that I could be in school and athletics and track and dance.

And I knew from a very young age that I wanted to get the heck out of Dodge. I wanted to leave Texas. I wanted to do something with my life. And so I had this big passion of becoming a professional dancer. And I think, you know, when MTV came out with all like the music videos and the dancing, I thought, oh my gosh, you can actually get paid to dance. dance. And I was like, well, sign me up. That's what I want to do. And so I was never the best dancer. So I knew if I worked twice as hard and took more classes that maybe I'd have a chance.

I worked for jobs. We didn't have a lot of money. And I worked for jobs to save up $1,200. Right after I graduated, I was telling people, I'm moving to Los Angeles. I'm going to be a professional dancer. And I had a lot of people that doubted me, that laughed at me. They didn't believe in my vision. I remember my stepmom as I was leaving said, I think you're making a big mistake. My mom said, you know, why are you taking everything? You don't need to take everything with you. You're going to be back in a couple of weeks. Well, 31 years later, here I am back in Texas, but after a successful career in dance and the fitness industry, but later in life is when, you know, my dreams were pretty much shattered when I had a motorcycle accident. And that's when the real

healing began, the real transformation began. And so I think you're never too late. You're never too old to go after your big dreams. Well, hey, listen, you know, I appreciate that context. And there's definitely a lot to dive in, right? There's a lot that happened from birth to 13. You know, first off, I can't imagine what it was like experiencing that type of trauma. My wife actually had similar things happened when she was a kid. And I think like you, She ran a lot, right? She tried to figure out ways to suppress that. And that's probably not the best thing that you can do, right?

And it's tough, though, because you're the one that's in it. You're the one that's dealing with it. So I appreciate you being vulnerable and sharing that because it's going to help a lot of other people that, you know, might have experienced something like that. And because there's still plenty of people out there that still haven't spoken up that, you know, still have gone through things and don't have that confidence to be able to speak up. So going back to school, one of the things that you mentioned is, you know, you went to your dad and then, you know, he didn't say anything. But the other thing that you said after that is that your relationship is now healed. So I'd love for you to dive in a little bit more there because there's going to be people that hear this and they're like, man, you know, like, why didn't your dad say like, why didn't this happen? So can you talk a little bit about your relationship and what was that process like for you guys?

to be able to get past it. Well, actually, we didn't really talk much about it until I wrote my book. And I remember, you know, it took me, that was the hardest thing to write about in the book because I definitely didn't want to hurt anyone in my family. But I wanted to let people know that, you know, there are so many people. I think the statistics are something like three out of five or something, or sexually abused. It's very common. And I remember writing about it.

And when the publisher sent me the copy of the book, my husband was reading the back of the book. And he goes, oh, my gosh, it says on your book, a survivor of sexual abuse. And I'm like, yeah, honey, I write about it in the book. I think maybe you should read the book. I'm writing about it. But I had let my mom and my dad read the manuscript before I published it. And actually, my dad was like, you know, I'm just, I'm going to read it when it's out. And I'm like, Dad, I think you might want to read it. Like,

I want you to let me know if it's okay if I say some of the things that I'm saying. And, you know, it was after he read it that we were able to let a lot of those emotions, a lot of things that happened kind of rise to the surface and began to heal. And he said, you know, you told me not to tell anyone. And I said, dad, it was a cry for help. And he said, I made you promise that I wouldn't and I didn't. And he said, I'm so sorry. And, you know, I think that our parents and I love my dad and I think that he did the best that he could with what he had, but he has a lot of unresolved trauma. And I think anyone who's listening who has trauma, whether it's sexual abuse or emotional abuse or some bad situation that happened that you haven't, you know, really dealt with and you're suppressing it down or running from it,

it will come up in everything that you do and the way that you love and the way that you parent and the way that you lead. And so it's up to us to really, instead of just dealing with those traumas, really heal them. And so at age 23, I was going through a horrible divorce and I hadn't really told anyone else except for my husband at the time. And he actually called my mom on the phone. And he said, do you know what your husband did to my wife? And he told my mom. And he did it to hurt me. And, but it was actually a blessing because now my mom knew what happened. She came out to California. When she got back, my stepdad was gone. He was just had taken some belongings and was gone. And was gone. I left my mom with a disabled child and my little sister who was 13 at the time.

And he was on the run for a long time. And my dad still and I, we hadn't talked about it. But it wasn't until I went to therapy and I had a therapist say, were you sexually abused? And I'm like, oh, yeah, but I've dealt with that. And she started asking me questions. And I realized, oh, my gosh, I had not dealt with it. And she gave me some books to read. I think it was codependent no more.

gave me some things to do. But, you know, it wasn't until my motorcycle accident when I was stuck in a hospital bed and I couldn't run that I realized that running was my tool. It was the only tool I had, really. It was my way of feeling better, of feeling like I was doing something productive. I was running from anxiety, running from shame. But it was after I wrote my book where my dad and I had that conversation. And I think that that's key is really having those uncomfortable conversations and crying it out, going through the process of getting angry, getting disappointed, having forgiveness. Forgiveness is incredible. It is the gift that you give yourself. Since then, a question that I get a lot, and I didn't write it in the book, but a question I get a lot is, well, what happened to your stepdad?

well, after he ran for years, there would be times that I would be in California and I would get this weird feeling, this uncomfortable. You know that feeling where you feel like somebody's watching you or almost like you feel a ghost? I don't know. That might sound weird. But I would feel like, oh my gosh, I feel his presence, my stepdad. I feel that icky energy. And I'm like, that can't be. He's gone. He's not around. Well, found out. out maybe, it was like five years ago, he passed away of testicular cancer and he actually lived an hour from me in California. Wow. So you were getting the right readings, right, that he was in the area, but, you know, he passed away. Man, you know, there's definitely a lot more to unpackage.

And, you know, one of the things that you said also earlier is you brought up the fact that you love to dance, you know, and we, you know, we have a lot of things in common. Actually, I'm finding out now, I was terrible in school, couldn't focus. I was that kid always disruptive and getting in trouble. So I could definitely relate in that sense. And then I was big into dance in high school. Actually, started in eighth grade, started breakdancing. You did that for 10 years.

And I still do it. I'm teaching my five-year-old now how to do it. My almost 18-year-old, I've been trying to teach that kid since he was born. He has no interest. So I've got finally one of five of my kids is interested. And so now we're breakdancing on Friday night. and Saturday nights, and he's really getting into it. And the thing that I think I loved about dance,

and I just love to get your take on this, is the creative freedom being able to, especially when it comes to, I don't know how much you follow, break dancing, but, you know, things like backspins and windmills and crickets and flares, all these moves that take a lot of power, but they also take a lot of creativity. And I was always my nickname was spins, because any type of spin, that was usually what I was doing.

and being able to leverage your creative freedom, I'd love to get your sense on that when it came to dance. And did that also play into alleviating some of the anxiety and some of the things that you're dealing with? Oh, yes. And by the way, I can't wait to dance with you someday. We are going to dance together. We're going to break dance.

I can do a few moves. But no, my nickname was not Spinner. Is that what your name? Spin. Spins. Spins with a Z. I love it. I love it.

Yeah. You know what? dance, I think it was an outlet. It sparks joy. It was a way to express myself. And it was a way also for me to build my confidence. And I remember, you know, there was an instructor from Los Angeles that would come out to our little tiny studio here in Texas. And his name was Al Gilbert. And he gave us exams for tap. And I would be terrified to stand up in that line to take the exam. And I remember the first time I took my exam. He asked me the most basic, easiest tap question was number 83, what is a shuffle? And I froze up and I couldn't say it.

And it was from that moment, I went home and cried. And I was little. And I thought, I am going to practice every single day. And I'm going to go over these steps until I get it. And that's where I really started to develop that grit. And I not only practiced and passed the exam, and I decided that I was going to help other kids do the same thing. So I became an understudy for the dance teacher. I went to a teacher training program. And at age 13, I started teaching dance. And it gave me not just an outlet, but it also built confidence. It taught me

discipline. I mean, it taught me so much about being a business owner and showing up for yourself and other people in life. I remember we had a recital. And my dance teacher, I guess I'm missed one of the rehearsals that was listed. And so I showed up late and she goes, you're cut. And I said, oh, I didn't know that there was a rehearsal. She goes, you're late, you're cut. And so I learned that when you show up earlier on time and when you show up late, then you probably don't get the job or get the part or get the cut. And so it taught me a lot in life. And also one thing that really it taught me when I started teaching dance was, I remember my dance instructor, Miss Jackie Nutting, she said, I don't care if you broke up with your boyfriend, if you lost your dog or your best friend.

When it's time to teach your class, that class is about your students and not you. So you put the needle on the record and you turn around and you teach your class with a smile on your face. And it was like, ooh. And I just aged myself right there, putting the needle on the record because that's how we used to teach. We had record players and we would put the needle on whatever song was on. but she taught me so much about showing up. And I remember in dance, you know, there were times when my toes would be bleeding. I'd had blisters that would come open in my point shoes. And I would say, but Miss Jackie, my feet are bleeding. And she goes, the show must go on. And so between dancing,

yes, being able to express yourself, brought me so much joy, walking onto a stage and performing, it taught me like, she's like, if you mess up, don't stop and cry. about it, keep going. Like, smile and keep going. And so that taught me so much about life, you know, like if we stumble, if we fall, if we fall flat on our face, whatever, get up and keep moving, keep moving forward. Don't just focus on that because I remember there was one time we were at the finale. I'd had an incredible performance.

I had like done four numbers, flawless, didn't mess up in the finale. I tripped and fell. Instead of getting up and smiling and laughing it off or, you know, maybe people didn't even see that I stumbled. I let that bring me down and my dance teacher told me, so you did fabulous performance, but that one thing, that's what you're focusing on. So it's so important in life to focus on what you have done instead of what you messed up on or what you can do instead of what you can't do. And so when TikTok came out, my youngest daughter was like, I was like, oh, maybe I should get on TikTok.

She's like, no, mom, you are definitely too old for TikTok. Please do not dance on TikTok. And I was like, no, I'm too old. I'm definitely getting on now. And so I remember I had not put my tap shoes on since my motorcycle accident and didn't even know if I could get them on my foot that's my ankles fused and my toes. or a made of metal. And I was like trying to get my tap shoe on.

And she goes, mom, I don't think this is going to work. I really don't think that shoe's going to fit. I'm like, it is going to fit. And I felt like one of the stepsisters in Cinderella trying to squeeze the glass slipper on. I got the shoe on. I flipped my iPhone around and started doing a tap dance. And I was like, hey, this is me the first time dancing after 11 years and 34 surgeries.

And if I can do this, who's to say that you can't do anything. thing that you want to do. That video on TikTok has like over 600,000 views. And I was like, see, I am going on TikTok. Love it. Love it. Yeah. And, you know, our kids are funny like that. You know, being a father or five, there's plenty of things that I say I'm going to put out. And my kids are like, no. And I'm like, challenge accepted. You know, like, you don't want me to do it. I'm going to do it in spite of that. Just because of that, I'm going to 100% do it. I'm going to show you how I can crush it, you know because Jordan we are so much alike. We are so much alike.

So you've plugged this motorcycle accident and I purposely not dove into this yet because I wanted people to get a sense of your journey up until that point because being sexually abused, teaching dance at 13, like these are these are uncommon things for everyone. And so I want to give the audience a sense of the grit, the determination, your character, because it's only a small portion of what you probably had to use. And can, I think it's a perfect place that you shared exactly, you know, where were you in your life? How old were you? What was the situation?

What happened? And then let's tell everyone, you know, why you're still standing here today. What type, what level of grit and determination did it take to get you to where you are now? Thank you. You know, I was wearing a T-shirt yesterday that said not dead yet because. My husband always says, oh, don't worry about it. If anything happens, like the other day I fell off the back of our golf car. He's like, oh, I'm not worried about it.

You just won't die. Like, that's the running joke. Like, you've been through hell and back. You just won't die. And I really want the, you know, for you that you're listening and you might be going through a challenge right now, I am grateful, really, truly grateful for every challenge, for every hard time, tragedy, any catastrophe sometimes that happened because it is the way that I've been able to develop my grit. And I think that really the formula for grit is it's really fueled

by your passion and your perseverance. It's driven by love and a little bit of stubbornness and a touch of, you know, wanting to prove yourself. Because I definitely was like, oh, nobody thinks that I'm going to be able to make it as a professional dancer in L.A. I am not going back to Texas. I am going to make it. And a month after I got here, I still feel like I live in L.A. I'm in Texas now. I was in my first music video. I was dancing with MC Hammer and I got to travel the world. And it was hard being in that industry. You were rejection after rejection and failure and pulled muscles and all kinds of things. But each thing, really developed my grit. And so I'm thankful for all the things that I went through because when it came time, the most challenging moment of my life was when I was 38 years old. And I had really worked so hard to have this fitness company. It was called Amberly Brown Fitness. And I had trainers that worked for me. And I was doing infomercials and fitness videos. And if you walk to any right aid or pharmacy, you would see all these vitamin bottles with a picture of me and some a picture with a

picture of me and my daughter. And I built this business from the ground up as a single mom and became a very, it became a very successful business. I married my husband and I was the main breadwinner. And I really kind of thought, Jordan, I was like, life is good, man. I've worked so hard. I am living the California dream. I've finally made it. Like I felt comfortable. I felt like everything's going good. I was sponsored by Nike. I had just run the best 11 miles and beat my workout partner who was the fastest guy in the gym. And I was like, yeah, I finally beat him. So I hop on my motorcycle and I'm headed home. It was a three day, like a holiday weekend. And I'm cruising down Ventura Boulevard. And it's just one of those beautiful California days, the kind of day that when people see it on TV, they're like,

I want to live in California. Sunny, wind blowing through my hair, and I look over and I see this SUV. And I'm like, okay, he sees me. I'm like, oh my gosh, he does not see me. I can't believe this is happening. He shoots out of the parking lot. And I had no time other than to think, oh, my gosh, and try to jump off my motorcycle. I was T-boned.

I immediately felt pain. I was thrown 30 feet. And as I'm sliding across the asphalt, it's all happening so fast. I kind of thought, well, what am I sliding into? I hope another car doesn't hit me. I came to a stop and I look down at my leg and I only look down at once because it's crazy to look down and see your body completely disfigured. It was broken into pieces.

My foot was only dangling on by the skin. Blood was everywhere. I didn't know at the time. My femoral artery was severed. And looking back because of how hard that I've worked in my life to, you know, as a single mom to build my business, going through a horrible divorce, making it as a professional. Like every challenge I went through, I remember one of my first thoughts was, oh gosh, this can't be good. I might have to train clients on crutches for a while. So I was already thinking of what was I going to do next about this. I had no idea that this was going to drastically change. my life. I had this guy, he is a guardian angel, and to this day, I still don't know who he is. He came over right away, took his belt off, made a tourniquet on my leg. He basically saved my life,

because you can bleed out very quickly when your femoral artery is severed. I got rushed to the hospital. It was chaotic. My husband was a cop at the time. He's now retired, but I had never seen him like this. Jordan, he was crying hysterically. I mean, he's a big, tough guy. He was a Lieutenant Commander, first responder. I didn't, thank goodness, see what he saw. The doctor was reaching in trying to pull my femoral artery out so he could clamp it, and it would snap back in my leg like a rubber band. And he was thinking, this is not good.

Is she going to live through this? And I screamed across the ER. I was like, honey, get over here. I need you to be strong for me. and the ER was silent at that moment. And he came over and held my hand. And that's the last thing I remember before I had this beautiful nurse lean over me. And she said, we're going to give you something to make you feel all better.

Well, I was in a coma. First thing I remember when I woke up, you know, I've got tubes going down your mouth. You can't talk or anything. And I wake up fighting and flailing, like trying to rip these tubes out. And the nurse is like, oh, no, no. honey, don't do that. Don't rip those out. She's trying to say something. And they give me a pad and a pen. And the first thing I write is get off my tubes. You see, my husband was leaning over me with tears in his eyes and he was cutting off my circulation. I couldn't breathe. And the next thing I heard was a doctor came over and said, we're so sorry, Amberly, we have to amputate your leg. You only have a 1% chance of saving it.

And I was like, what amputate? I was like, but wait, you said one percent chance? Well, then that means there's still a chance. And I want to take that chance. And I need to find a doctor who's willing to take that chance with me. So it took an act of God, a lot of prayers, a lot of grit and determination, a lot of friends, family, and a team of doctors. 34 surgeries later, they pieced my leg together with surgery. for surgery and saved my leg.

Wow. I mean, just incredible. And, you know, we've talked offline and talked to you about, you know, the accident that I was in. And so, you know, as you're speaking, of course, I'm going back to be in 19 in that truck sliding it 70 miles an hour and just, it's a surreal feeling. It's literally like slow motion, right? And you're so aware and alert of what's happening, but it's almost like time is just moving

so slow. That's the only way I can explain. I don't know if it was that experience for you, but I, but, you know, and you had the guy with the tourniquet and we had five off duty EMTs that just happened to be coming back for a conference that were our guardian angels at the time, right? Because, you know, without that intervention of the guy and with, for me, these off duty EMTs, you know, I don't think either of us, you know, would be here. There's no possible way, right?

You think about the amount of blood loss and the amount of time that can pass without, someone being there to intercede. So yeah, I definitely know that we're both here for a bigger purpose than our own. That's 100% true. Well, and you know what? At the time, you know, I was, you know, minutes away from the firehouse. But there was a coffee bean down the street and there were some paramedics having coffee at the coffee bean. And before they even got the call, They heard the accident and saw me laying in the road and they were running down the street. So they got there before they even got the call from 911. So, yeah, everything was just like so perfectly like timed.

The doctor that put my femoral artery back together was an off-duty. I mean, he wasn't even supposed to be there at the hospital that day and happened to be there. And so like everything was just a miracle, really. So yeah, thank you for saying that, Jordan, you know. Yeah. I think that, yes, we're here for a reason. And sometimes I need to be reminded of that. Like, it's easy to get kind of caught up in the little day-to-day challenges or get, you know, sidetracked or get kind of down or feel like I'm not doing enough.

But you just saying that right now, it's just like, yeah, we are here for a reason. And my reason is to give others hope. that they can get through the most difficult challenges and to never give up because there was a point in my life. Like, I survived this in 34 surgeries. And I was diagnosed with this nerve disease as a result of the accident called complex regional pain syndrome. And I could not get out of pain.

I was trying every, every kind of procedure, invasive, homeopathic. I mean, you name it. I was doing everything. I was having a guy drip oil on my head and whether it was voodoo, whether it was, you know, anybody who said we can get you out of pain. I was like, sign me up. I had $2.9 million worth of medical expenses. At one point, I was on 73 homeopathic pills and 11 different prescription medication. Nothing was working for the pain. And I became an alcoholic. I couldn't run from my pain and my feelings. I had no way of dealing with it. Like, I used to run. That was my go-to. I couldn't run the way I used to. I couldn't run from my feelings. And I realized, wow, this wine kind of helps stuff down those feelings. And that worked until it didn't. And at that

moment, I had lost my confidence. I, you know, I'm completely deformed and scarred from the hip down on my right side. I didn't know who I was anymore. And I think that hearing you say, we're here for a reason. In that moment when I was at my darkest place and I was drinking out of a bottle and I was like, how did a good girl like me end up here? Like how did a fitness expert sponsored by Nike end up drinking every day? Like who like I wanted to die, but I was scared to kill myself. And I remember thinking about my daughters and thinking about there has to be more. I need to be the example of resilience. And I got on my knees and I prayed and asked for help. And by the grace of God and asking others for help and being in acceptance for where I was in that moment, I have been

able to get sober since 2016. I've turned my life around. That's when I really dove into, you know, self-help, listening to podcasts like yours, going to therapy, doing the work, going to recovery meetings and I still do all that. Like I still, that's my little corner over there where I have my little books and I light my candle and I read and I pray. And even on a day like today, I overslept by an hour. You know, I'm just kind of getting over being sick. And so I'm allowing myself to get more sleep.

I still don't wake up and dive into like my phone and messages and social media. I have my morning routine that really keeps me grounded. And so I share that because some of our messiest moments in life, some of the things that I held on to that were so shameful that I thought nobody is going to understand. Nobody's going to understand about my sexual abuse. Nobody's going to understand my pain. Nobody's going to be able to relate to my awful divorce or my drinking problem or any of that. And guess what?

So many people are dealing with the same thing. So the truth will set you free. It will kick your ass at first, but then it will set you free. And I think that any real transformation or recovery starts with being in acceptance for where we are on our journey and then asking for help. 100%. Yeah. And I appreciate you being vulnerable about that. You know, alcohol is one of those things.

Like I grew up with an alcohol except at and, you know, he was abusive and now he's been sober for over 30 years. And we've got a great relationship, right? I think time can heal all things and it can change us. It can change our heart. You know, alcohol has been one of those things that for me, I stopped drinking it because I didn't like the person that I saw, you know, in the mirror the next day. I didn't like. I also didn't like it like in my 30s.

Like when you drink in your 30s, those hangovers hit different. You know, so like, man, like, why am I dehydrated for a couple days? And so I one day was just like, you know what? I'm just not going to drink it anymore. If it doesn't add value to me, it's probably taking away. So I had to just say, you know what, I'm just not going to do this. And it's tough because alcohol, especially in American society, it's like the thing that everybody just does.

And so I remember feeling like awkward going and hanging out with people and they're just like, hey, what do you have? And I'm like, just a Coke zero or just water, you know, or whatever. But again, it's not about what the perception is. It's about what's the impact that it's making on you. And if you eliminated something that could have a negative impact, how much different can your life be? And so I started asking myself similar questions to you, like, all right, well, if I didn't have this,

what would life look like, you know? Oh, yeah. And so for me, it was an easy. But again, and I was no, I wasn't probably where you mentioned you were, where it was trying to hide pain and things like that. And I've really never been like that. But again, even if it was going to take away just a little bit from my life being better, I needed to let it go.

And I hope that that's helpful for someone because you may not be a heavy drinker. You may not be someone that's consuming something all the time. But just think about what would life look like if it didn't happen or exist. Could you release it? Could you let that go? And then what if you added something else in its place? You know, because I think that as human beings, we're always trying to find things that add value to us,

but sometimes we don't look close enough at things that might be taking things away. Oh, that's so important and such a great tip and tool. Like if you really look at everything that you're doing, it's either helping you or hurting you. It's either moving you closer to your goal or further away. And for me, I was never a big partier. I was so like while, you know, when I first graduated from high school, a lot of friends were going to college and, you know, drinking and partying. And I was like, oh, no, I was working for jobs. I was paying for the roof over my head and I was building my dreams. And so I thought I was so different from a lot of, you know, people in my family who are alcoholic. You know, my brother's in jail. My brother, my little brother sits on death row here in Texas because drugs and alcohol. Hall got the best of him.

And I thought I was so different. You know, I'm the fitness girl. I'm the one who's so focused on career and being a good person and all this. And let me tell you, addiction doesn't discriminate. And it doesn't matter if it's, you know, we're talking about alcohol, drugs, scrolling through social media, speed dating, shopping, food, whatever it is. Like, take a good, hard look at what you're doing in your life and decide, is this something that is adding to my life or taking away. And I remember it was, I'm telling you one of the scariest

things I ever did was to admit, I think I got a problem. And can you imagine, you know, my husband being a cop and it took some skill trying to hide the fact that I was drinking from him. I mean, he was like, look at me in the eye and I'm like, no, no, I haven't been drinking. It was, I did not like the person I was becoming. And I told him I needed help. And he was like, no, no, anybody that was, is going through what you're going through would be drinking to. Like you deal with a nerve disease called the suicide disease. It's ranked highest on the pain scale. It's okay.

And I thought, no, I have a problem. Like, I knew, Jordan, I knew deep down inside that I needed help. And I think that's the question we have to ask ourselves, like really get honest with ourselves because we know the answer. And we can have, you know, our head or tell us something else or other people say, oh no you're fine but we know and the scariest thing i ever did was walk into a recovery meeting and i sat in the back of the room and i sat in between a nun and a lady that i'm still friends with wearing a cowboy hat and i'm like where the heck am i but it was a women's meeting and i thought

if a nun can get sober and or have a you know if she would drink and and get sober well then i can too and i hope i heard hope in those rooms and I kept going back and I still do. And so I think that it's really important to surround yourself with people who can understand you who have gone through something similar and especially important to surround yourself with people who have been through it and gotten through the other side. So you can learn how you can keep that, you know, hope sparked and then you can learn how to do it as well.

100%. Yeah. And I think a lot of that relates to just life and business and all of it, right? you begin to be the sum total of the people that you surround yourself with. So if you're looking at from a recovery standpoint, let me go around people that are also recovering, right? It's probably a good group of people to get around. And if it's from a business context, I know you mentioned you dove into personal development.

That's something that really kind of helped you out, listening to podcasts and things like that. So I know there has to be some mentors that you, you know, gathered along the way outside of tragedy, outside of all the things that you were dealing with. and maybe even helped encourage you to write the books. I'd love for you to just share some people, you know, in your life that had been big contributors to helping you along your journey. Because one thing I know about life is we are meant for connection, you know, we're not meant to do this alone.

We need to have people that are in our corner that have our backs, but that could also kick our butts if we need it and can kind of lead us in that right direction. Oh, I think it's huge and so important to have a mentor coach invest in your yourself, get into a mastermind. It is, I think success is built on relationships. And ever since I was a little girl, you know, from the time I started with, you know, my track coach, man, she'd pull me out a class and be like, hey, Amberly, we are depending on you to get us to district. She was like, you're sitting up front with me on the bus and she would talk to me and coach me all the way to

the track meet. And I'd be so nervous, I'd throw up. But I got first place dancing. My miss Jackie was my mentor. She taught me more than just how to be a dancer. She taught me a business model, which I carried on and had a successful business in fitness from. When I decided to write a book, I remember going to people and telling them, I think I want to write a book. And they were like, oh, you're the fitness girl. You don't even own a computer. You don't have a college education. Stick to the fitness. Like a lot of people told me that. People that were the closest to me told me that. And, you know, they wanted to me. They didn't want me to make a fool out of myself, but I think it's so important to seek counsel and not opinion. So many people be able to give you their opinion, but if you go to someone

who has already done the thing that you want to do, you're going to get good, solid counsel. And so when I went to someone who had written 74 books and I said, I want to write a book, he's like, great, this is where you need to start. This is what you need to do. I had a client of mine who was an editor. And she was like, okay, Amberly, you don't have the best. publisher. So you need a really good publicist. And so it was little things like this that helped me. And then as an entrepreneur, as a speaker, as a coach, I thought I need to be in the rooms with the people who are doing the things that I want to do. And so I invested in a mastermind. I think the first mastermind I got into was with Greg Reed, who I love this man. He is

incredible and I loved his mastermind so much that I then went and got certified as a mastermind consultant and got the framework, put my own touch to it and created my own mastermind for women called Unstoppable Life Mastermind because I think we need more women out there on stages, starting their podcast, writing their books. So I think whatever you're doing, go to people who are doing what you aspire to do. And that, goes for not just in your business, but even on social media, like if you're following someone and they're not inspiring you or they're bringing you down, even if they're not doing it on purpose, maybe it's just making you compare yourself and it just doesn't feel good. Maybe you just need to

bless them and block them. Not in a bad way, but just like you need to follow people who are encouraging and inspiring and motivating that you're learning value from. And I think it's so important to hire a coach or a mentor. And it can be scary, invests. in yourself. It's taken a risk every single time. I have invested either in a mastermind or a coach. Like right now, I just wired a lot of money to a coach. And I've hired Badros Kulian, who is, he owns hundreds of fit body boot camps. He's a speaker. He's doing a lot of the things I want to elevate my business. And everything that I learn, I can go share with my clients and my mastermind. And that's, that is what I love to do, I want to learn and continue to learn.

And so I can share that with the people. And it creates that ripple effect. And when we all come together and we share what we're learning and we're hanging out with people who have big visions and they're going after and you're learning, oh, my goodness, that is where we grow. That's where we thrive. 100%. Yeah, I could not agree more.

You know, ever since, you know, before I launched, you know, my business, actually, so my podcast started two and a half years ago and my business started a year after the show. So I kind of did it backwards. A lot of people had a business to start a podcast. I did it the complete opposite. But what I learned doing it that way is that it really introduced me to people like you, to people like David Meltzer, to people like Heather Monaghan, people that I looked up to and I wanted to be where they were. And so I just like you said, Proximby's power, if I want to be where they are, I need to associate myself with them, I need to reach out to them. I need to see what they're doing and then try to take those lessons and implement them in my business.

And I think that's where a lot of people fail is like, you could listen to this episode with Amberley and I, and you could go do nothing and you will get nothing. But if you listen to it, if you take, you know, grab a notepad, if you take some tips and then you go take some action and put some of this stuff into effect, you're actually going to see some of the results that we've gotten, some of those positive things. So that's really what I did when I got into podcasting. I started to really try to get around people like you said that were where I wanted to be and learn from them. And there's a lot of fumbling through and not pressing record when I thought I did and, you know, all these things.

But like that happens. Like we're we are human beings. We are imperfect people on an imperfect planet. And the sooner we can realize that, the easier life actually gets because we realize that all of us put our, you know, jeans on the same way. Our shirts. I like, there's really not a whole lot of differences between us, but we have a whole lot of things in common. Yeah. And you know what? That is such a great point. Now, and this is like the best kept secret. I swear, because I didn't know or I didn't know this, but a podcast is the most incredible way to

build relationships. It's the best thing that I've done for my business. I started my podcast almost three years ago because I was speaking at all these events with, you know, Brenda Bouchard and Lewis Hals and Jay Shetty and Ed Milette and they all had a podcast and I didn't and I wanted to have something to offer them. I wanted to be able to highlight them and share them with my audience. And so I thought, well, I want to share these stories of resilience and be able to like shout them off the rooftops and their wisdom off the rooftops. And so I started the podcast and it has been the most incredible thing for Bill. I mean, you mentioned David Meltzer. He texted, because we did a podcast swap, he texted me yesterday, like just texted me, hey, Amberley, can you come to Orange County?

On Friday, he's, we've built that relationship because we've gotten to know each other through podcasting. I've gotten speaking events where I was interviewed on someone's podcast and then they invited me to speak at their event. I mean, it's the most amazing thing that you can do to add value, yes to your, you know, your audience, but also to build those relationships. And again, proximity is power and success is built on relationships. And so get in the rooms, reach out to people, get on podcast, start your own podcast. And that is one of the things that I tell people on my mastermind, like, start your podcast. Do it. Like yesterday, you know, do it. Exactly. Exactly. Action is key, guys. If you don't take action,

you're not going to create momentum. And without momentum, it's hard to create consistency. And without consistency, it's hard to build habits. And without habits, you're not going to get results. So that's really the framework. You know, action is what creates that ball in motion rolling. So definitely really, really great advice there. So I know there's going to be a lot of people that hear this.

They're going to be inspired by your story, by your journey. There might be a couple tears that are shed from some of the things that you shared. and I want to be able to resource them so that they can connect with you. So I want to give you the limelight, if you just drop anything you've got going on. Obviously, I want you to make sure they can get to your website to get a copy of your book. But you mentioned your mastermind if you want to plug that. Whatever you want to plug, this is your time to shine, my friend. Oh, well, thank you so much.

I love talking with you. Ever since I first met you, I just felt connected with you. So thank you for the opportunity to be here and share with your amazing audience. I would say the thing that I'm most excited about right now is my mastermind because I've leveled it up and it includes two in-person events. There's something magical when you can come together in person, but it's only for the ladies. Sorry, fellas, I love the fellows, but this one's for the ladies. And it's only for really female leaders who are evolved and they are ready to share their message and make a bigger impact, build their influence and their income. And so, yeah, you can text me at 818, 214-7378.

Text me, Mastermind, if you're interested in that, and I can give you all the details. I'd love to meet with you. It's a more intimate group, so there's only going to be 15 people allowed. So if you're really interested, let me know right away, because it hasn't even launched yet. And then I love, my favorite thing, Jordan is really connecting with people. So reach out to me at Amberley Logo Motivation on Instagram. Send me a DM. say let's screenshot and share it on our social media because I love your podcast. And when I see

someone who's shared that, I will share it in my story. And amberly logo.com is where you can find my book, my, let's see, my podcast. And I think that's about it. Awesome. Awesome. I appreciate you sharing that. And everybody makes sure you connect with Amberley. We're going to make sure all the info is down in the show notes. If you've got a link to that mastermind by the time of this area, We'll get that in there. We don't want people to miss this, guys. Only 15 opportunities. So if you are a woman that's in business and you want to grow and scale, you're going to learn from somebody that has true grit and true grace.

Amber Lee, it's been my pleasure hosting you on the Blazor-Ont Trail podcast. I hope you have an amazing rest of your week. Thank you so much. Thank you. I just adore you. And I'm so grateful that I got to be here with you today. Thank you. Thank you.