Blaze Your Own Trail - Episode 4: From Tech to Fitness with Nelson Toriano

Episode Date: January 20, 2020

In this episode we discuss: Nelson's transition from tech to fitness Realizing that there was more out there Family inspiration Nelson's book, " For The Fit But Poor Personal Trainer: A Guide To Train Money, Not Muscle To Grow Link to Nelson's Book: https://www.amazon.com/Fit-but-Poor-Personal-Trainer-ebook/dp/B07WHFD19T Connect With Nelson: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coachnellytoriano/?hl=en Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nelsonetoriano/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/nelson.e.toriano Website: https://coachnellytoriano.com/ Coach Nelly Toriano was created to be a resource for personal trainers to supplement the available resources on sales and marketing. His debut book goes into detail taxes, inflation, and costs of goods sold. Most importantly, these complicated concepts are explained in fitness language. That way, the translation makes the important topic approachable and comprehensible. Installing strategic sales systems & processes will stop the constant revenue rollercoaster you might be facing which is attainable through our 6 Week Blazing Business Revenue Coaching ProgramBook a discovery call with Jordan now to learn more! Are you an entrepreneur?Join my FREE Group Coaching Community where we have live calls, Q&A and more! Our Trailblazer Ecosystem also enables you to network with other entrepreneurs and creator hub eliminates multiple subscriptions and logins creating a one stop shop to take action!Use code: FOUNDING100 for 12 months access FREE and Founding pricing for life! (While Supplies Last)Join now! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

In this episode, Nelson talks about his journey from tech in the Silicon Valley to fitness, and then into actually teaching personal trainers all about financial literacy, which you'll hear about it when he talks about his book. So I hope you enjoy this episode, and I can't wait to give my feedback after it's over. Hey, welcome, everybody, to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. I'm your host, Jordan Mendoza. And today I have a very special guest. his name is Nelson Toriano and I'm actually going to go ahead and let him tell us a little bit about himself

sure thing and I'm very excited to be here and again thank you for having me like I said my name is Nelson Toriano I'm the CEO of a financial education company called Coach Nelly Toriano my personal background I've been I'm born and raised in Silicon Valley so I'm still based here and when you're in this area you fall into tech career so I was working in the tech industry for about 10 to 11 years. And I am one of the many, many people who have the stories where they just felt unfulfilled and they felt pretty empty sitting behind a computer and inside of a cubicle. And then there was something else in my life that I wanted to fill on. My side hustle during that whole time, I was training clients. I found

my passion in fitness. So I was teaching group fitness classes. And when I hit that point where I was started soul searching, it made sense to take the leave of faith and switch careers altogether. So I flipped my career and went into fitness full time and I studied, I was doing business and tech part time. At the same time, I actually was pursuing a master's of business administration as well, so I've always had a passion for business, but I wanted to see how I can design my career and making fitness more of a lucrative option for myself. So the opportunity came about, I started to become a program manager and I started managing my own gyms. One thing led to another and I started getting more clients and getting more notoriety within the industry.

And one of the challenges about switching careers, especially going from tech to basically about anything, is your income level. So one of the hard realities that I had to endure was in the fitness industry, I was earning significantly less than what I was earning in tech. But it didn't take me long to get back into the same income level that I was at previous. I can't say the same for my colleagues in the fitness industry who didn't have a background in business Many of them were struggling a lot of them quit the industry altogether just because it's a very challenging career and especially a challenging career is The Sustain in an area like Silicon Valley where the cost of living is really really high So I did I entered in probably another year of soul searching and see what else I can do to Give back to the community I love and the industry I'm very passionate about

So I felt it was my social responsibility and my unique opportunity to provide the industry with education about financial literacy how I did it What I understand about the business world what I understand from my formal education and this is where my book Comes into play so I wrote a book for the fit-up poor personal trainer a guide on how to train money not muscle to grow I have it available on Amazon I have my website and I develop online courses so personal trainers understand financial literacy. So I teach not sales and marketing. My industry has a lot of information on how to get a client,

but not a lot of information on how it's the same within the career. So the personal trainer does not burn out or feel compelled that they need to leave the career in order to pursue something else that's more lucrative. And my goal, my overall mission in life is to provide that education to make a difference and capitalize on a lot of people who are very passionate and smart about physical wellness and fitness and help them out and teach them ways how they can continue making a solid impact for more and more people. That's me. That's awesome.

And I think, you know, that was super valuable to hear and definitely a really interesting story because I think most of us, at least from my vantage point, when I think about Silicon Valley, you do think of tech, right? And so, you know, you kind of, you know, you ended up in the career that people probably expected. And then, you know, the reason why you're on the show is you actually blaze your own trail and decided to go a route that's massively different, right? And you're in a cubicle, you're really not talking to a whole lot of people. Yes. And when you are, you're probably doing it more electronically, like through Skype or Slack, right? Some type of direct messaging.

And so, and you don't seem like an introverted guy to me. You seem more extroverted. So, and I know how it is for me. Like typically when, you know, when I'm in the office for my role that I hold in the corporate world, it's tough. It's tough. It's tough because, like, I am super extrovert as well. also I want to be out talking to people and to be kind of confined to a small space like that. Yeah.

It's almost like you were able to kind of spread your wings. Yeah. And now you're soaring, right? Yeah, absolutely. And you're also doing something that you're super passionate about. Yeah. And for me, like that's where it's at, right? Yeah.

When you're passionate about something, it's almost like it's not even work, right? Yeah, exactly. Having a great time. So what's super cool that you went, you know, the rome. out of a personal trainer. So how much like knowledge did you have going in about like fitness? Like like like, like, like, would you say you were like a, I had 80% 100, like or was it way lower than that when you first? I would say when I first started, I would say out of about 50% because I definitely could not compete with the students and the graduate students who had

formal education in kinesiology and physiology. So they went in depth and they actually had, you know, term papers and thesis and all the many many years of developing into anatomy I couldn't compete with that so in the personal training world you go through these associations to take the exam to be a certified personal trainer so my knowledge base was based on that based on my own research that I had to you know YouTube and articles and studies that I would read on my own but also in group exercise you have to be certified to teach a particular format so if you wanted to teach a particular format and dance or weight lifting or yoga yoga in order to be certified as any yoga instructor you have to do at least 200 hours so that's kind of an equivalent truncated education or to teach that particular

format so I definitely put in my hours but I couldn't compete with the official formal education of a trader once I entered into the industry full time that's when I started taking more and more courses trying to supplement and trying to in a way try to keep up. The tricky part about that also is going back to my passion. I didn't want to be competing against with other personal trainers. These are my colleagues. These are wonderful people who give incredible advice. So I knew my skill set couldn't, my hard skill set couldn't be on par with theirs. I could gain a lot of information, but my unique point of view is going to be on the business side. which they may or may not necessarily have on their end.

So it was kind of interesting entering into the workforce. I had to know who I am, first, what my skill sets are. There's going to be some things that I know well. There's going to be some things I don't know well, but working with the people who complement that. So as a team, I found really good workplaces where I don't feel less confident or inferior. I found teams and colleagues where we can partner up and provide a great gym experience. But we're all, all our relationships are symbiotic in that way.

So I took one of my weaknesses and turned it into a benefit that could actually develop an entire team in the gym. That's awesome. That's so cool. So tell me about when you were a kid. Were you into fitness? Was fitness something like super into? Or were you, you know, were you into sports? Did you play any sports?

I'll put it this way. I tried. I was athletic. I was hyper, you're right. I was pretty outgoing. I just loved doing stuff and running and playing with my friends. I like being outdoors. Was I coordinated?

Not really. Was I ever first picked on the team? No, could I ever jump high enough to reach the basketball hoop? No. But my enthusiasm was there. My motivation was there. And that never stopped me from playing as many sports as I could. So being active, yes, being coordinated to play any sport, no.

So I always had that drive. Another thing about being a kid, and I think in terms of how it evolved and knowing oneself, is that I always was passionate about helping other people as well. So even if I was physically active, what's some of the best entrepreneurs, some of the best role models, most influential people you'll ever know, are not only passionate within their own career, but you physically reach out and include you in their activities. They're just generally enthusiastic. They may not be like the smartest one in the field, but their passion and their enthusiasm totally resonates with you. So that I remember as a

kid, because I would get other people excited about random stuff. And even now when I talk, I get people excited about the randomness that comes out of my mouth also. So there you go. Yeah, that, That talent never left me. Hey, well, listen, you know, self-awareness is everything, right? And so, you know, being aware of how you're wired. Have you ever taken any type of personality assessment? No, I haven't. In college, I think I did, but it's been so long, I probably did when I was taking

psychology courses. Geez, I can't remember the world. Okay. Yeah. Very, very cool. Yeah, so part of my background, I'm actually certified in Myers-Briggs. It's a MBTI type assessment. Yeah.

Most people have taken it in college and then they take it later in life. And, you know, it's one of those assessments that, you know, as a certified practitioner, one of the things that we learn is that, you know, you have to take these assessments in a neutral headspace, right? When you're thinking about the questions, you know, don't waver, just kind of answer right in that moment, you know. And when you do it that way, the results aren't going to be skewed, right? It's going to be basically how you thought of it in that moment in that second. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I think it's very fascinating, though.

And like from me, obviously, I know you're an extrovert. We can tell that, you know, you're super energetic and optimistic, right? Yeah. And really, the E and the I, when it comes to those assessments, they're easy to identify, right? We can identify people that don't want to talk as much, and then people who just can't, can't not talk like me, you know. Yeah. And it's super interesting to see it in other people, you know.

Yeah. You know, I have, my wife and I have four kids. And all of them have different personalities. And I can easily see which, you know, like my 11-year-old, she wants to be by herself and she wants to read. And my eight-year-olds asking her questions every two seconds, right? And so you can kind of notice those, you notice one that's like, I just, I don't want to talk. I'm happy not not doing, you know, and then the other one is super hyper and energetic. So it's funny and interesting to see and how those opposites can have conflict, right?

Yeah, yeah. Conflict with each other. There's a quote that I heard. I can't remember who it's by, but it says, if you don't know what an extrovert is thinking, you haven't been listening, right? And if you don't know what an introvert is thinking, you haven't asked. Yeah. Right. And that's a, it's a cool quote to be able to easily identify from one to the other, you know.

I'm glad that you brought that up with the differentiation as well as conflict as I remember. Part of my job when I was working at the marketing agency in the tech world was page search. So I was looking at, I was looking at ads and it was enthusiastic about the task and that skill set for a while until I wasn't enthusiastic about it because it did require a lot of data analysis looking at. spreadsheet looking at trends and I was staring at a computer for so long and one of the things that I eventually learned about myself I hated implementation I hated sitting there oh my God my back hurt props to a mad respect to anybody who find that career of fulfilling more power to you just for me for my personality I wasn't attuned at that point to who I am as an extrovert and I just noticed that internally there was a conflict and it would actually personify

itself and I would be more boisterous and frustrated and projecting onto other people because internally it just wasn't the right match. So taking the leap of faith and actually trusting my gut instinct to switch careers into something that required more extroversion was one of the best things I could ever do for myself and my life. But it was an odd way, it was something that I could, should have done previously if I were paying attention to what was going on within. like I've always known myself to be that. And I didn't realize it until probably my friends gave me direct feedback and saying, you know what, you're really smart.

You know your stuff in terms of business in terms of tech. But your working environment, it's not suitable for you. So it was actually, I leave it up to them to hold a mirror up to me and say, you know, this is your reflection. You really should take the leap of faith and pursue a totally different career. So hold on. Take whatever you learn. but now will fight into your new industry.

And leaving the tech world when you're living in Silicon Valley is like the kiss of death. And people don't know what to do with you. And they're leaving this tech company. What are you going to do? Are you going to do? And they would start rattling off other careers that are still related to tech. Like, no, it's not. I have to understand.

And people were generally worried. But I have to give reassuring them like, this is me. This is what I want to do. Even now I still get it where. in the personal training world, when I'm sharing my message with other people who are so trained in anatomy, and kinesiology and physiology, they're great personal trainers, but they understand the sciences. When I bring my message of like, it's great that you know the sciences, but can you be financially literate and understand, there's the revenue that you get from personal training clients, and then there's income.

There's going to be everything in between, which is going to be taxes, which is going to be cost of good soul. There's going to be all these things that take away revenue. And then I'll get a lot of people who are, again, their mindset is and sciences, and they just kind of gloss over. And I said, okay. So still being true to my passion and being what I intend to educate people on, that sometimes it can feel almost lonely. Almost lonely when you're talking to an audience who has a different mindset, but you know in your heart that this is a message and that needs to be communicated. So that's where I'm at right now. And again, taking that leap of faith and knowing that I am making a difference within the industry,

knowing that I do have that unique voice in terms of business and personal training and communication and trying to make you some good with this also. Going back in the context of setting your own trail, blazing your own trail, I don't know if any other entrepreneurs feel this. I definitely do. There are going to be times you feel really lonely because you feel like, You're the only one, and really you are the only one with your unique perspective also, but you just kind of have to keep staying true to yourself and keep going.

Yeah. No, that's it. And those are definitely really, really good insights. And I like the fact that you have this unique skill set because probably most people that are in your, and I'm just speculating here, I don't know. I don't know any stats on this. But I would assume that most people that are personal trainers don't also have what you have. They don't also like understand a business model, understand P&L, budgets, right?

Like all of those things that you actually need to know about so that you know if your business is actually sustainable. Exactly. Exactly. So that's amazing. So when did you actually come to the fruition that you wanted to write a book? It was, I could simply remember. It was 12 months ago. It was January. And it was in that soul-searching phase of there's got to be something more in the fitness industry and there's got to be something more that I can do with my career. I started getting that itch. There's something lacking in terms of fulfillment. But the more that I started researching, what would it take if I actually became an author?

It's always been a smart role of mine, but I never actually had the motivation to do it. I didn't know what to say. When I started researching and especially going onto LinkedIn and looking at all these self-published authors and these great people who are notable within their own. industries. I said, you know what? Why not me? I see all these motivational quotes and people are so serious about it. Like, oh, you're the one. You should keep going and all these inspirational things that they post. You know what? Maybe I should take it to heart. Why not me? So it took several drafts and it took about nine to ten months in order to sit down and formulate

not only all the hard skills that are in my head, but also work with my editor to understand my own voice and my unique perspective to organize it in a way that ended up being like 150 pages. I didn't know I had so much to say until I actually started drafting. And that I would say the first couple of drafts were the hardest parts about the whole writing process because I had to get in tune that I generally acknowledge that I have a lot in my head and that I have a lot to say. So it's just taking that time out to slowly comprehend, make sense of of it all and make sure that all my thoughts are comprehensible.

But it's always been a smart goal of mine. It was finally getting that nudge from other people and taking it seriously that I have the confidence in order to get this done. Look at me now. I'm self-published. Yeah. No, and congratulations. Yeah, thank you.

That's definitely awesome that, you know, it's, I'm sure it was, you know, getting that first copy in your hand, right? Yeah. The first, you know, hardcover copy. I'm sure that was a pretty amazing moment. moment, right? It was surreal. And the opportunities, when it was finally out on market, the feedback I get was wonderful. I'm very grateful and very thankful. Probably one of the biggest accolades, and I'm in entries for awards, and I was a finalist in a couple literary awards as well.

But I did a presentation at the University of San Francisco to the Student Association of Kinesiology for their department. These are the next generation of kinesiologists of health wellness providers, personal trainers. And probably that was my biggest accomplishment that I think about it. And the one hour I was doing my presentation with them explaining my book, but actually teaching them what financial literacy means, they just soaked it. I mean, these young minds were like,

so tell me about adjusted gross income and tell me how do I get to my net. And can you tell me how do I calculate my federal tax implications? And so we're going through all these exercises, and I was selling them, you know, when you first get your paycheck is going to be something like adjusted gross income. And then you have to see FICA is 8%. You don't have a choice. You have to pay it. Like, I do. And like, yeah, when I could go back in time, no one taught me that.

So if you take a, if you're going to enter in a career where your revenue is going to be generated by the number of clients that you have times your rate, you're going to do have a couple more calculations to figure out what are the implications that are going to take your revenue. away because once you graduate, you're going to have that student loan payment. You're going to have all these different other costs of living that will probably make you reconsider living in San Francisco and will probably make you want to move and relocate somewhere else where the math actually works in your favor. It was probably the most fulfilling presentation I've done to date and they have more questions about the book. They have more questions about me. But that's when it was really solidifying for me that I'm doing good for the world, for the community, but I'm also

making a positive impact on the next generation. I believe these are now Gen Z. I'm a millennial. They're Gen Z. But seeing, having the, seeing their faces light up and actually develop what I wanted, truly wanted to deliver confidence. Now I get at least these 12. 12 students understanding how to manage their money and they're not afraid to graduate and have the weight of a student loan on their backs. They actually know how to manage it. That meant the world to me. Like, good. My book is doing good.

That's awesome. That's awesome. So did you set a goal? Did you want to be, you know, on the top Amazon list, New York Times? Like, what was your, did you have any aspirations or was the goal just to get it out so that people would be impacted by it? Well, several listeners. I need to clarify that I do not teach sales and marketing. So there's so many resources within the fitness industry and so many great experts that will teach you how to do email marketing or paid search or social normalization or reach our social media influencing.

Wonderful people who will give out sales and marketing tips and courses in order to generate revenue. What I want to educate personal trainers are there's going to be their revenue. Then come seeing me because I will teach you everything that will take the revenue away. I'm going to teach you how to do your financial statements, your net income statement, show you all the different costs of goods sold, because what you really won't need, what you're going to live off of is income. So if any of you are really specialized in sales and marketing listeners, I'd love to partner with you so we can develop a more comprehensive education

to set up entrepreneurs, personal trainers, anyone who's venturing on their own to see both sides of the same coin. There's going to be the revenue, there's going to be things that generate revenue, and things that will take away revenue. I'm the guy who will educate you on what those things are. Because really, we want to make a difference, but give people in general a more holistic approach when viewing money. So I'd love to have some type of partnership with anyone within the sales and marketing field to provide that better service and education out there.

I do want my book to win a couple awards. So I'm a finalist in three, and I'm waiting. for feedback on seven. So hopefully. I accomplished one of my smart goals. In the personal training world, you have to re-certify your certificate every two to three years.

Depending on the organization that you have, you have to go through what we call continuing education unit programs. Not that many personal trainers, not that many experts offer the courses that provide those units for those programs, but every personal trainer in order to certify had to accumulate a certain number of units to show that they were constantly learning within those two to three years.

On my website, I have a self-study course on the fundamentals of financial literacy that actually qualifies as one of those programs to give out those units. So I'm one of the select few educational providers as vetted by the National Association of Sports Medicine. So that's what's awesome. I want to start taking that self-study course and start branching. off into webinars, start doing more speaking engagements, more in-person and one-on-one coaching, and the majority of my products will qualify for those continuing education units. Definitely a mission and a cause that I believe in that will only help other personal trainers, but I want

to get financial literacy standardized in terms of education. If I can't, first starting off within my industry, but I do have a couple opportunities to get financial. literacy education more integrated into the universities and high schools and honestly even in the elementary schools so everyone at every generation feels more confident handling their own money very cool yeah maybe maybe you can make the next board game you know the financial literacy board board yeah why not that that would go over well with the elementary and middle school kids yeah so or maybe some financial literacy pogs i don't know if you remember pogs but yeah oh i just saw that I just saw they made a comeback.

I just saw them. They had them at Target the other day. Like literally on the, and I was like, pogs are back. Like, it was literally, it was like a trend for like two weeks.

And then they disappeared. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know what happened. That's my generation. And I was new generation things to say, well, I mean,

funny thing is that I've been watching a lot of these sitcoms and they're doing a lot of their nostalgic type of episodes. Yeah. But the past is like the 90s. And there's another thing that makes me feel so old. And like, how old am I? I'm 38 years old. But I was watching, you know, episodes on fresh off the boat, as well as Blackish.

And when they do like flashbacks of the parents going back in time, they're only going back to like 1989 or 1993. I mean, it's not that far. Right. Yeah. That's interesting because I'm 38 as well. And I think about the 90s, like it would just, it just happened. Yeah.

It's so funny, like, our oldest son just turned 15. And so, like, yeah, he is, he's like the cool kid, right? He's got to have, like, go to Paxon and all these different stories. Yeah. And it's funny to see, like, all of the clothes, it's like 90 stuff. I'm like, I wore the same shirt, like, when I was 15 and now you think it's cool? Like, you know, it's just so interesting to see how the trends happen and how they, how things just come back, you know.

Yeah, I'm like, I can't believe, oh, I was just talking, I was doing wine tasting with a couple friends and the person who is serving us. I want to say he was like 21 or maybe 22 or something. He was born and raised within a winemaking family. It was talking to us about college and things like that. And he asked me a question and I said, I don't remember college. And I looked at him and I was your age when I was 21 and I would like continue on my story. I can't believe I'm at the age where I'm telling people when I was your age. I still feel like in the 20s, kind of, sort of, until it's like 10 o'clock at 9 until I'm tired.

Right. Yep, that is it. Awesome. So tell me a little bit about your background. I know we talked before we started recording, and you had mentioned that your parents are from the Philippines. So tell us a little bit more about that. I'm big into culture. I know I told you my dad should have.

Philippines as well so let's give the audience a little bit into your background yeah absolutely so both of my parents um from the Philippines today immigrated in the early 70s when my mom finally immigrated to the United States she took my older brother and my older sister they're older than me by nine and ten years so I'm the first one out of the five of us who was born and raised in the Bay Area we're all still in the Bay Area my grandmother My mom's mom immigrated in the early 80s to help raise me while my parents were working. So in the Philippine household, it was my two parents were working.

We were all going to school, but it was my grandma through the law of the raising. So I grew closest with her. Plus, my siblings were teenagers and they were doing teenager things in the 80s as well. So I didn't want to talk to. So I talked to my grandma. It was because she and I were super, super close. and it's very common in Asian culture, you don't put your grandmother in an old people home.

They stay in your home until the very last day. So when she was diagnosed with diabetes and she had a stroke, that was when I was in high school, things got a little rocky and it was pretty hard. She passed away my senior year of college. And so when there's a death in the family, it's hard to deal with, but especially if it's the some person who raised you, it was really, really hard on me.

It went into, it went into, I kind of put down all those emotions for about four years and go right into work and became very protective of my emotions and vulnerability amount. It wasn't until about four years later, the emotion started coming out and I started really seeking professional health in terms of grief, in terms of understanding who I am as a Filipino man, in terms of my culture, in terms of my family, and understanding all the dichotomy that surrounds that. Once I got a good handle of that, and I finally got closure, I got closure because I got a tattoo of my grandmother on my back. That's a huge, huge angel that's about the size of my palm. That's when I felt like I can finally move on with my adulthood.

Funny thing is that that whole notion of understanding of my role within the context of being Filipino and Filipino American, my parents are Filipino. I'm Filipino American. So there's a wholly different disconnect. And I have to explain to people, I was born and raised in a culture that is more independent thinking, that is very entrepreneurial thinking, whereas my parents are very communal. So that was another source of conflict to begin. It's very common for people to explain to their Asian parents what they're doing, what their career choices are, and for the Asian parents to not understand. So my parents understood I was pursuing a tech career, so they thought I was going to be this big executive. Okay, I'm not going to be a nurse or like my mom, I didn't work at the post office, or I'm not an engineer. I do not like engineering.

I was never interested in, but my dad, my dad was. So for them to hear that I was going to leave the tech industry to go into what? Physical fitness? You want to teach Zumba? You want to work at the gym down the street? No, and no, and no. So that was another thing that I had to deal with. Not only was I had to entrust myself that I was doing what was right for me, but also going

back to my family and the nuclear family where they actually didn't know what I was doing and hearing their message less of condescending and disapproving but more as worry that, hey, are you going to be okay living in this new country? This is the United States. This is in the Philippines. In the Philippines, they didn't grow up with so many choices, whereas I did. I think what made the difference with my family was that they saw that I'm financially stable and that I'm helping others, but to know that I'm not asking them for money and I'm helping help,

they just wanted to be reassured that their son is going to be okay, and I am. But dealing with Asian parents, specifically, it could be frustrating. It could be comical at times also, but I did have to shed that stereotype that I'm not going to be one of this stereotypical

Asian careers that you would other words. I think of. Yeah, and that's so sorry about your grandmother. It's definitely, it's tough, right? It's tough. When you lose somebody, especially someone that you're super close to. And I can relate to that experience. My mom passed away seven years ago, you know,

and it was one of those things where she got sick in November and then by March she had passed away. And I remember that, that, like, loneliness and that kind of dark place that you don't even realize that you're there, you know, like literally just going through the motions of life and you're kind of numb, you know? Yeah. So I can completely relate to that.

And for me, it was, you know, the support of family and friends and just kind of one day, like looking at myself and saying, is this what she would want you to do? Would she, you know, would she want you to be there and stay there and not actually like live your life, you know, so I had, so I had to just kind of switch that and to start celebrating her more, right? Yeah. And looking at it from, from, from that context. But I completely get like, why it took you so long, why it took you four years to, you know, to snap out of it. I mean, because, listen, it's when that, when that happens, and I think it happens to most human beings at some point in their life, like it, it's just, it's a very interesting, almost eerie kind of place, you know. Yeah.

And the way that time moves when you're there is different. And that's the only way that I can really explain it. So I definitely appreciate you sharing that with me. And my dad was from the Philippines and my mom's American. So I grew up, the first 12 years just with my mom didn't meet my dad until I was 12. So you can imagine me like growing up in America, American home, all regular kind of stuff. And then going and meeting him and like he was super strict. and he was, you know, like, I would have to, like, do school work in the summer.

I was like, wait a second here. Like, I'm pretty sure I was on the summer break, you know. Yeah. Why am I doing math right now, you know? Yeah. And I actually hate math to begin with. But, yeah, so, no, I can relate to the, you know, one Asian parent thing. And it definitely is different.

But I, like, what I learned from my dad was hard work. Like, he actually started working on the rice fields when he was seven. Yeah. Like there was no, you were the machine. You might have had a, he had a caribou that was dragging him. Yeah. You know, but like, so he started there and then he went into the Philippine army after high school and then he was a merchant marine and then he was a seaman and sailed on ships and, you know, he was, he was searching. He was trying to, like you said, there's not a lot of opportunities there. So like a lot of Filipinos do, they want to come for the American dream. You know, they want something better than they have back home. Yeah. most of them, I don't know if your parents were like this, but my dad, it was like most of his income went back there, right? To start a business, he actually created a rice mill, like

built a rice mill, and then he built a boarding house for college students. And so his money actually went back to invest there so that when he retires, he's got, he feels like he has something a sap. Yeah, yeah. I'm glad you brought that up. Um, it's such an interesting a segue also I didn't probably it wasn't until recently until I was in my 30s that I actually started understanding my parents for being the adults that they are and understanding the plight the immigration plight and what type of the situation that they went to a brand new country to resettle their entire family and started from nothing so I remember going up and you know what I it was rightfully so that I did

get spanked for talking back and not appreciating the things that I have have because they worked their butt off for me. I didn't really see that until I got and became a full-fledged adult and I was standing on my own. I look at my dad and like, man, you handled, you handled life way more gracefully than I did because, and especially under the circumstances that you did. My dad is dark skin, so he had to deal with a lot of racism. He was originally supposed to move in with my family in Chicago, but something happened. They had a falling out and then he relocated to the Bay Area and we were here ever since.

So my life could have been totally different. Our lives could have been totally different. We didn't take the leap of faith to immigrates in the United States. So it was, I always appreciated my parents, but I didn't appreciate my parents into the depth, the emotional depth that I have now, now that I am, well, now that I'm in my 30s, a way different context. And I say that because it gives me more of a deeper understanding of my why, of why I want to trade, to believe my own trail, to be the entrepreneur to make not only my parents proud,

my family remain proud, but also make my grandmother proud she took care of me and to live a life that's fulfilling and that's happy and to give back to community without Asian parents don't talk a lot. They don't say anything, but I know that makes them happy. So that adds into my why. That's great. That's great. Yeah, them seeing you thrive and knowing, like you said earlier, you're like once they knew you were okay, once they knew that you were financially stable, then they were fine. Like then they were okay. Like go do Zumba if you want to now.

Yeah. As long as you're good, you know. Yeah. You know, you have to ask us. Like they want you to be sustainable. And I get it. And that, you know, it's so interesting because it makes sense. But, you know, it's funny because like thinking about your parents, right?

Like you can probably see both of them in you, right? like how we're wired. We get a lot of the things. Like for me, my mom was like super, super kind. And she's, you know, American, a white lady, blonde hair, green eyes, you know, and maiden name is Lynch, so super Irish. And then my great grandmother was full-blooded Chippewa Indian. And so I'm Irish, Native American and Filipino.

So I'm a mixed, right? In Philippine terms, they call me a mistyso, right? That's like the mixed terminology. But like my mom was always super kind. She was outgoing. She had a lot of energy. She actually was born with one lung. And so her entire life, her entire 54 years that she was alive, she lived on one lung.

But she never complained. She was on oxygen most of her life. And when I think about like things that I've gone through, like I firmly believe I haven't even experienced adversity yet. I mean, this is somebody that when she was born in 1958, the doctor said she would live to be 18. She wouldn't be able to have any kids. And she had lived to 54 and had five boys. So like she did super well with the cards that she was dealt. And so when I look at my life, I get my kindness and empathy and being outgoing from her and I get the hardworking, put your

head down, you know, dig in the dirt if you have to to make money from my dad. And so when you combine those and when you're able to take those things that they taught you over the, the time that you've had with them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I think, when you start to really identify who you are. Yeah, absolutely. I started recognizing, and it wasn't until my friends, until my partner actually told me, like, you resemble your dad a whole lot, even though I've seen you fight with them more

once. But my anal retensiveness, my ability to sit down and stare at numbers, I get it from my dad, from the engineer. My fun-loving sign, my extraversion, my mom. And I didn't really see that. until someone I pointed out. And it's just, I remember growing up and I, and I fought with them a whole lot. I just didn't want to be hanging out with a family all the time, but I want to be with my friends.

And it wasn't until I became an adult that I said, oh, my God, I became you guys. Oh, it's weird. Absolutely. That's definitely true. Well, hey, listen, man, it's been awesome. It's been awesome getting to hang with you, getting to learn a little bit more about you and what you do and I definitely know this is going to provide a lot of value to the audience. So I wanted to, just so you can say, I'm going to put everything in the show notes for everybody,

but just tell everyone where they can find you. Where's the best place to find you? Where are you hanging out on social platforms or, you know, best places to get a hold of Nelson Toriano. Sure. My website is coachnelli Toriano.com. You can find my email there as well as Nelson at Coachnellytolleyano.com. also follow my insta coach nellie toriano uh that's my that's my handle um as well as uh the URL for my uh facebook as well um so reach out to me we love to connect you with oh and lincoln by the way also

under my form full name nelson e toriano you can find me there too awesome yeah and i'll make sure folks that all of those links will be in the show notes so definitely reach out he's super energetic as you could tell super passionate about what he does not just about fitness, but actually making sure that people have sustainable businesses, right? Yes. Because it's one thing to be able to do what you're passionate about, but if you don't know how to manage those finances, it's tough to actually make what you're passionate about an actual career.

So, hey, once again, thank you so much for coming on the show. Can't wait until this airs, and I appreciate your time. Thank you so much. Hey, everyone. I hope you enjoyed that episode with Nelson Toriano. What an amazing story. from tech to fitness and all of the great things he's doing for the fitness community about teaching them how to make sure their business is successful through financial literacy.

Definitely make sure to go follow him on all of his social media accounts. I'll be dropping that into the show notes. And please make sure if you're not subscribed yet, make sure to subscribe and tell all your friends about the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. I really, really appreciate all your support.