Blaze Your Own Trail - Finding Calm in Chaos with Lori Saitz

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza. I'm your host, and I've got a very special guest today. Her name is Lori Sites, and I'm going to have her tell you a little bit about who she is and what she does today. Thanks so much for having me, Jordan. Yeah, this is, you're just throwing me in here, like, go. Who are you? Who are you?

Starting point is 00:00:20 Remember that movie Breakfast Club and the character, who was it? Michael Hall, what was his name? Anyway, he had the pen and he was like, who? Who am I? Who am I? The through line of my life and my career has been connection. Connecting others, staying connected. I have friends that I've had since we were babies in a crib. And as a networker and connecting people in business situations, connecting people in social situations, that has been the through line of my life. And so it's no surprise that all of my businesses have had that as part of the, um, part of the theme of the business. Love it. Love it. So connection is the theme, the through

Starting point is 00:01:05 line to everything that you do. And I'm excited to have the audience be able to understand, uh, how that came to be and, and to see that through line in your story and your journey. So my favorite part of the show, Lori has really taken a rewind and getting deep context. So we're going to dive back into the formative year. So, you know, elementary middle to high school here. So, you know, where are you born and raised? And what kind of kids? were you? Okay, I was born and raised in New Jersey and I got out as soon as I could, so do not hold it against me. But I was always the kid who was really smart and really shy. So all of my report cards would say something like, Lori is very bright, but she needs to learn how to speak up in class.

Starting point is 00:01:47 And anybody who knows me now finds that hard to believe because if I have a question or I want to get something, I will just march up and ask the question or introduce myself or whatever. whatever, but back then, I was terrified. And a lot of it came because I might have known the right answer, but I was afraid to get it wrong. I didn't want to be wrong in front of the whole class. And so I wouldn't raise my hand or I wouldn't offer the right answer. But even when I was out with my mom shopping, she will tell the stories of, you know, mom, where's the bathroom? I don't know. Go ask that lady over there where it is. No, mom, you ask her. I didn't want to talk to strangers. But around my family, they couldn't shut me up. So always.

Starting point is 00:02:29 communicating, but back then it was more in writing and learning how to, you know, I remember writing stories, silly, silly stories from like five, six years old. That's great. Yeah, so I always had a love to communicate, but not necessarily out to the whole world, just to your inner circle and close folks. So how did that translate as you kind of moved into middle school and in high school, did you kind of stay more introverted and not as vocal? I'd love to just get some context there. Yeah, I think I did. In middle school and high school, I was, again, not necessarily the best student, but that wasn't because it was just because I didn't feel like putting everything into it. Like I had other interests. So, yeah, I was a good student, but I certainly wasn't the one

Starting point is 00:03:20 outgoing sports star or on the stage at theater or anything like that. It wasn't until my parents dropped me off at college in Washington, D.C. And as they drove away, I realized kind of like, I have to speak up for myself now. There's no one here to speak for me. And I remember them driving away and I went straight to the TV station. I started college as a broadcast major. And I went straight over to the TV station to see what was going on there and got a gig on the school radio station. where I DJed and was on air for all four years. And that was, you know, there was that defining moment of now I'm on my own. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:03:59 Yeah. So what was that experience like? And how did that help you grow as far as speaking to going from smaller groups to maybe larger groups, you know? And, you know, when, and then also talk a little bit to the audience about, you know, the beginnings, you know, because as you're learning, you know, you're growing, you're fumbling through. You're trying to figure out systems and you know, you're having to do things at a certain time. So I'd love just to figure out what was that process like and how did it go

Starting point is 00:04:30 learning how to be in broadcasting, you know, especially having this voice with really your family friends. And then now here you are going to communicate to a really, really large group of people. Yeah, I don't know how many people that radio station was actually reaching. But still, it was, you know, a number. The thing about being in a radio station, though, is you're there by yourself and you're talking, but you don't see a thousand people in front of you. And so it doesn't feel as intimidating. I mean, I'm sure the first few weeks, I don't even remember actually, but it was intimidating

Starting point is 00:05:07 because you don't know how to work all the equipment and how does this work and how does that work. And back in that day, back in the day, all right, everything was records. And moving from one record, when that, when that song ended, you had to start the next one and, you know, blend them in together and all of that. Now it's all electronic and it's a lot easier. But it was also a lot of fun. Like I knew that's what I was meant to do. And the funny thing is that in my sophomore year, I went to a real radio station and had a conversation and sat in on a DJ on-air personality's shift. You know, between songs, we had conversation. And he said, said, you know, the way that you get started in broadcast is you're going to have to move to the middle of Iowa and work $10 for $10 an hour working overnights. And I thought, no, I am not moving from the nation's capital to the middle of Iowa to start a career. And I actually changed my major. I changed to public communications and public relations because I didn't want, and I didn't, you know,

Starting point is 00:06:09 being 19 years old, 20 years old, whatever I was, I guess it made such an impression on me. I didn't think beyond, wait, maybe there's a way that I don't have to move. And there were a lot of my colleagues who were majoring in broadcast who went straight into radio and TV jobs in Washington, D.C. And so it's just always interesting to, you know, look back at what I accepted as truth, which wasn't really true. And I think that's something that even today, anybody who's listening to this, listen to what people are telling you and then ask yourself, is that really true? Yeah. Yeah, that's important. Definitely. to question and have wise counsel, people around you that can help you make or come to those decisions, you know, especially changing something. And so what was that shift like? And was that

Starting point is 00:06:57 the right move looking back in hindsight, switching majors? And what happened after school? Did you end up getting a job locally? Did you end up moving to Iowa or anywhere like that? I did not ever move to Iowa. No, I stayed in Washington, D.C. I went into marketing and corporate communications. And I never look at anything in my past as a mistake or I could have, should have done this differently. Because everything led me to where I am today. And, you know, I just think that looking back in, in regret is kind of a waste of time. And so I'm happy. I went into marketing and corporate communications and made the connections and did the things that I did for the companies and organizations that I worked for in D.C. And then I got married and we started moving to different places for his job.

Starting point is 00:07:46 So I was in Pittsburgh for a short time. I was in Sacramento for a short time. I was in South Florida for 11 years. And it was when I was in South Florida that I actually got back into radio, like real radio, working for real radio stations that reached, you know, 100,000, not the campus station anymore. And the funny thing is I started there for $10 an hour working overnight. But I was in Florida. Yeah, a little bit different environment, I'd say. Yeah. Yeah. And that was a lot of fun. But again, it wasn't, it wasn't to be a full career. And, you know, it was a part-time thing. And I really loved it. And it just reinforced that I am meant to be, you know, with a microphone in front of me. Yeah. You know, moving forward. And I started my own business while I lived in in South Florida. And that was

Starting point is 00:08:36 my first business was making and marketing a product called gratitude cookies. Gratitude is the other through line throughout my life, talking about the concept of gratitude and the importance of it. And at that point, it was talking about how important gratitude is to business. And those cookies were marketed as a way for businesses to say thank you to their clients and referral sources. And so, yeah,

Starting point is 00:08:58 so that was my first entrepreneurial venture ran that. And how was that? Was that a lot of talk to the audience about how you, marketed that product. Was it like knocking on doors, meeting people? Was it, you know, warm networking referrals? How did you get those cookies into people's hands? It was a lot of networking, a lot of chamber meetings and word of mouth and just, yeah, anybody I could put a cookie in front of my nickname became cookie lady. It was, yeah, based on a family recipe. And it was hard. It was really hard because I didn't know what I didn't know, which sometimes is a good thing. But at the same time,

Starting point is 00:09:36 it was a struggle the whole time. And, you know, I tell people I ran that business for 11 years and I closed it because I couldn't scale it the way I would have liked to. I was not super clear on who exactly was the best ideal client for that business. It took me a really long time to figure it out. And by the time I finally figured it out, it was kind of like end of the runway. I don't have any more money to put into this. So let's just put it down. How many cookies were sold? I don't know. Do you know like over 11 years how many cookies are sold? Do you know how many calories were consumed in that? I don't. I have no idea, but I did move from making them myself to having contract bakers where I. Okay. There you go. Yeah. Licensed that or contracted that baking out, contracted out the making of the packages.

Starting point is 00:10:29 You know, in the beginning, we were doing it from the pool table. We had a pool table in our living room, so we had like a cover over it. And all the packaging was being done on that table. There you go. Yeah, you got to do what you can, right? Yeah. With what you have, especially in the early days. So that's great.

Starting point is 00:10:46 Yeah, learned lots of lessons. So what did you do next? What was the thought? Like, hey, doing this for 11 years, you know, lots of gratitude, helping lots of people say thank you and follow-ups and all that stuff. So what was the plan next? Did you go back into something like, you know, into the workforce or did you continue on the entrepreneurship path? I did go back. Actually, when I shut that business down in 2014, it coincided

Starting point is 00:11:12 with the passing of my mom. And so it was actually pretty perfect timing in that shutting down the business allowed me to manage some of the things of her estate afterwards. And then I did go back and get a job. Not as an employee, because I don't think I could ever do that again. They had me as a contractor. And back into marketing and copywriting and marketing as a director of marketing for a real estate company. And did that for a couple of years until I went, all right, now I'm going back out on my own. And I started teaching networking strategies because I had been so good at it, doing it for the cookies and making all kinds of connections. And again, this is through line of connection. connecting other people, connecting with people. And so teaching other people, how do you walk into a

Starting point is 00:12:01 room full of people you don't know and start a conversation? Especially people like myself, who I was calling quiet people. You know, you're not super outgoing and you're not like the, hey, let me, let me make, you know, you're not the life of the party kind of person, which actually those people are better at networking than the life of the party people because they listen to what people are saying. And it makes them better at networking. So I did that for a little while and then pandemic and nobody was going to any networking events. So now what am I going to do? Yeah. So that is where, you know, pivot's happened, right? Where you got to now go back to the drawing board and try to figure out, all right, how do we make a similar iteration of this work? So yeah, I'd love to know what were your thoughts. What did you end up

Starting point is 00:12:47 doing at that point? And is that what you're doing now currently? Or has that shifted and changed It has changed again, again. I started working with people as I was somewhat of a coaching business. A lot of my friends were approaching myself and my friends were approaching this time in our lives where we were like, okay, my life is fine, but how do I make it better? And this for me had actually started around the time I'm the mom passed was, do I want to live the next 20 years the same way I lived the last 20? And if I don't, what do I want to do differently. And not that the last 20 had been terrible, they were fine, which is how we got to the name of my podcast, which is fine is a four-letter word. And that's about around the time when I started that show and talking to other people who were in midlife and reevaluating. You know, I don't think midlife is a crisis at all. I think that's very mislabeled. It's a time of reevaluation. And what do you want to do now with what time you have left? And so working and coaching with people on doing that. And then that evolved into teaching tools and techniques for managing stress,

Starting point is 00:13:59 if you will, how to stay calm no matter what's going on around you and creating a program called staying calm in chaos. It's a very short, easily digestible audio program with really simple tools to implement and then taking that into corporate through workshops. That's great. Yes. And then now evolving into, I'm always doing something different. Not, not. Not always, like I said, the through line is connection and building community and being grateful. Hosting it and producing podcasts for fast-growing companies. Internal facing private podcasts for, you know, think of old school newsletter. This is the updated version.

Starting point is 00:14:40 Yep. And so are you helping with that now currently? Yeah. Okay, awesome. That and as well as the tools and techniques for stay calm no matter what. Yeah. two pieces. Yeah. And what, you know, if you're able to say, I don't know how much confidentiality there is, but what industries do you think need the most calmness training? You know, like we're,

Starting point is 00:15:03 I mean, I would assume like if you work in the ER, like there's probably a lot of chaos. You might need to learn how to calm your mind. If you're in sports maybe and you need to like make sure your mindset's right for the big game or for the season, you know, attorneys maybe that have like big cases they're working. So I don't. know like can you share you know because there might be some folks that are listening to this that say hey i am one of i'm in that industry and yes it is very chaotic for me and i need some tools and resources and folks we're going to make sure we drop some of those in the in the show notes for you don't worry you're going to have access to some great stuff from lorry but yeah who who would this be for and

Starting point is 00:15:41 you might say listen we all have chaos and need to be calm in certain circumstances but well that was My question is what industry isn't feeling a lot of chaos these days? I mean, yeah, I've worked with a lot of different industries. Sports, though, not sports. Sports tends to have, like, they already, they have trainers. And a lot of that personal development is part of their athletic performance training. But tech, tech industries, like you said, health care is a big one. It's been all over the board, really.

Starting point is 00:16:17 But, you know, I think it's more not necessarily industry driven, more I've worked with the entrepreneurial companies, entrepreneurial organizations. And because of the nature of entrepreneurship, so even if it's a bigger company, that entrepreneurial spirit lives in it. And they are the ones most open to doing workshops for their people. Some of the maybe businesses that are more chaotic and need it, but they're not open to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That means that they're just in denial or not self-aware enough, I think. It's more than likely the case. So if I am listening to this episode right now and I am dealing with lots of chaos, listen, it could be at home, it could be in the workplace, it could be in

Starting point is 00:17:04 their head, right? There's just chaos. What would you give as maybe the top two or three tips that they can implement in their world right now that could at least help, you know, move the needle in some capacity. Yeah, this is going to sound so ridiculously simple, and yet people don't think of it, which, so I'm going to throw it out there and it's breathing. And now you're going to go, but I already am breathing. Yes. Most people are breathing very shallowly. And so I invite you, if you're listening right now, to take a really deep breath and breathe in all the way down to your abdomen and hold it for three seconds. And then just let it go. And do that for, the next 60 seconds. Just focus on your breathing. And when thoughts come into your head, okay, I'll get

Starting point is 00:17:51 back to you. Just focus on the breathing and the breathing and the breathing. And because when you watch babies, they breathe from their abdomen. But as we get older and as we get more stressed, we breathe very shallowly. And so by just taking those 60 seconds of deep breathing, you're calming your whole nervous system. You're oxygenating your blood and your brain. And if you want to take it one step further, imagine as you're breathing, that you're breathing through your heart. Vision, your breath coming in and going out through your heart. And when you do that, you are sinking your heart and your brain because most of the time they're out of sync and they're out of balance. And when you hear people talking about working from their heart or following their heart, it's because the heart

Starting point is 00:18:37 has, I don't know how many thousands of times more connections from the heart to the brain, than from the brain to the heart. The heart is really controlling everything. You think it's our brain, but it's really our heart. And if you can get those two organs in coherence, that's what it's called, heart-brain coherent, you are more calm and you're more productive, you're more efficient.

Starting point is 00:19:00 Everything just sinks together. Yeah, that's great. Appreciate the tips. Everybody makes sure you can rewind this. If you need to, go back and do the exercise. You talked a little bit about your show. Fine is a four-letter word. podcasts. And you mentioned you started this, you know, after losing your mom. So sorry for your loss.

Starting point is 00:19:20 And can you talk a little bit about, about mom and, you know, what she meant to you. And I know she'd be proud of all the things that you've built. You've built a ton of things. And I'd love for you just to share what were some of the things that maybe she instilled in you that are still benefiting you to this day. Gratitude. I didn't realize that my business, that first business, gratitude cookies. I mean, the whole thing was built on. the concept of gratitude. And I didn't realize where that had come from for me until after she passed. Her last words, so I was there. Her last words were to a hospice nurse and they were thank you. Interestingly enough, my dad passed just as past August, so about five months ago. His last words were also,

Starting point is 00:20:06 thank you, to the hospice workers. It's so powerful that I, because I didn't initially realize that that's what I had been watching or absorbing from them, but I hadn't seen it as clearly as seeing it right there, like, at the end. Yeah. Yeah, that's definitely powerful. And what great examples to show you that. And that's obviously, you got it by osmosis. You got it honestly, you know, in the way that you are, you were helping people doing that for 11 years. And then, you know, everything you do, networking is a form of ratitude, right? You meet somebody, you get an alignment and you say, you know what? Because I connected, I want to show them how grateful I am by connecting them with somebody else that they need to connect with, you know, that they can add value to each other in some capacity. But I appreciate that access

Starting point is 00:20:59 and sorry for the loss of your father as well. You know, it's not easy losing people in our worlds, but it's awesome what we realize, you know, when they're gone. And it's, it sucks. sometimes that it takes a loss for us to see it. We're like, wow, we feel like we were blinded for so long. But getting it, it's a gift that keeps on giving. A hundred percent. And since I've studied gratitude and the concept of it and the energetic, it's the highest energetic vibration you can achieve. It's the highest energetic vibration. So it makes perfect sense that at the end of their lives, they would have been in that energetic vibration.

Starting point is 00:21:40 Yep. And we can get there. We have to wait to the end of our life to get there. Living in gratitude all the time is as an incredible way to live your life. That's it. Yeah. So if people were going to check out the show, what are some of the topics in there or maybe some of the insights that they would get excited about listening to?

Starting point is 00:22:01 Yeah. Well, the show is stories of a time in somebody's life when they said everything was fine and it was not fine at all. So topics have ranged from business issues to health challenges, to being raised in a cult, to being addicted to drugs, to being dead for four minutes and coming back to life as a quadriplegic, like all kinds of stuff that is not fine. And so it's a matter of finding an episode that speaks to you because all of the different stories.

Starting point is 00:22:32 But again, the through line in it is you are not alone and there is nothing wrong with you. Yeah. That's great. That's great. And, you know, we mentioned some resources earlier in the episode, and I want to make sure you share a little bit more about how these can help folks that are listening. So I think one of them was centered around calmness. Is that correct? Yeah. So I have a program called Staying Calm in Chaos. That is, and then I have, but even before that, so the Staying Calm in Chaos program is a 10 module audio program. I also have 10 proven habits top leaders used to stay calm and focused every day. And that's a checklist that people can

Starting point is 00:23:14 get either one of them, but the checklist is free on my website, Zenrabbit.com. Awesome. Yeah, we're going to make sure we get all of that into the show notes. I appreciate your time today coming on, sharing your story, your journey. You're definitely blazing trails, my friend. And I know you're going to continue the great work. If there's any last words for our listeners or maybe some words of encouragement. Whatever you're going through, see where you can find the gratitude for it. And that's not toxic positivity. I'm not asking you to deny your emotions or your feelings around the situation. I'm inviting you to also find the gratitude in it. Yeah, great advice. Find the gratitude. And, you know, I know people are going to get a value out of your story, out of your journey. And I hope people

Starting point is 00:24:01 reach out to you and connect. I know there's lots of folks that are in a storm, but there is, light on the other side of that storm. So I'm excited to have folks be reaching out to you. Thanks so much for coming on the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. Thanks for having me.

Blaze Your Own Trail - Finding Calm in Chaos with Lori Saitz

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