Blaze Your Own Trail - From Stuttering to Strength with Marcy Axelrod

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

In this episode of the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast, host Jordan Mendoza speaks with Marcy Axelrod, who shares her journey of overcoming stuttering and how it shaped her understanding of human connection and compassion. Marcy discusses the importance of showing up authentically in life, the continuum of presence, and how art serves as a powerful medium for expression and community engagement. She emphasizes the role of adversity in personal growth and the necessity of being present and compassionate towards others.TakeawaysMarcy emphasizes that what we do is not who we are.Her experience with stuttering taught her about interconnectedness.Adversity can be a gift that shapes our identity.The importance of being present and compassionate in interactions.Art is a universal form of expression that everyone can engage with.We impact the world at every moment through our actions.The show up continuum helps us understand our presence in the world.Choosing how we show up can transform our relationships.Marcy's journey highlights the power of vulnerability and authenticity.Community engagement through art can uplift others.Chapters00:00 Introduction to Marcy Axelrod06:14 The Journey of Communication and Self-Discovery15:59 The Impact of Stuttering on Identity22:54 The Show Up Continuum: Levels of Engagement27:38 Art as a Medium of Expression28:01 The Essence of Art and Creativity34:09 The Role of Art in Community and Philanthropy45:26 The Journey of Self-Discovery and PresenceConnect with Marcy: https://choosetoshowup.com/Get a copy of Marcy's Best Selling Book: https://choosetoshowup.com/books Are you an entrepreneur?Join my FREE Group Coaching Community where we have live calls, Q&A and more! Our Trailblazer Ecosystem also enables you to network with other entrepreneurs and creator hub eliminates multiple subscriptions and logins creating a one stop shop to take action! Join here: https://trailblazerecosystem.com/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Hello, everyone and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza. I'm your host. And I've got a very special guest today. Her name is Marcy Axelrod. And I'm going to have her tell you a little bit about who she is and what she does today. Jordan, thank you so much. And that interesting question, who I am.

And you said what I'm doing today. Those are the two things. Okay. I love that. Because your original question that we talked about was, you know, what I do? And I was going to respond to that with, you know, what we're, quote, doing is not who we are. And that I would much prefer to let people know, quote, who I am, if that's at all possible in words. What I'll just share is that at age six, I lost the ability to speak.

Basically, we had just moved from Baltimore to Boston. My parents had these new jobs. You know, little Marcy at the time, you know, mom and dad were busy, new school, new friends, new house, new world. genetics for stuttering, coalesced with the environment of everything new. So now, picture little me. I'm in, I'm in, you know, kindergarten or first grade, and the teacher asked something. And my hand goes out. And what really created who I am in that moment is experiencing everyone in the class going, and that's when I realized, you know, they knew, the teacher knew, oh my goodness, at some point the teacher's going to have to call on Marcy. And what it, what showed up,

for me was we are interconnected. They're feeling what I'm feeling. I'm feeling what they're feeling. And that was a moment that shaped my brain right here and, you know, right then, which is we are not separate. We are not individuals. We are what I call all individuals, right? Just like almost every tree, the roots are connected under the earth, right? They might look separate to us, but they're not. And it turns out if there's a beetle infestation in one part of a forest, and that tree survived by developing certain chemicals that got rid of those beetles, the moment there's another tree that the beetles infest at the other side, the message goes through the roots. And the first tree gives its medicinal response all the way across the forest to the other one. So that's what was happening

for me that day when I felt others feeling me. And it didn't come across as, as a judgment or something awful. It just came across as they're feeling me. And that was beautiful. So that really created a lot of who I am. And it was too painful to be me at that point. So my self-lens, right, of facing me in the mirror. So what I'm doing for listeners is I'm cupping my hands.

So because we all have a mirror and many of us live facing our own mirror. But it was too painful for me. So I turned my mirror outward. Because if I couldn't show up as I chose, I started to observe, how is everyone else showing up? And that's when I saw, you know, on the four square outside of class, there's a bully slamming everyone out, and then there's the scared cat in line knowing that it's social suicide,

if you get slammed out. And then there's the person who's kind of too afraid to engage at all, and they're kind of aloof looking around. And then there's the teacher doing nothing about these social scenes that shape all of us. And I said, why is everyone throwing their show up choices? away. I couldn't stand it. So second, you know, defining memory of my life at age 12, now I'm sent to a rehabilitation hospital to learn to speak. That's not where I learned to speak,

but what I saw there is elders recovering from strokes. And they were relearning really basic things, you know, holding a pencil, holding a fork, feeding themselves, sitting and standing, and they had experts by their sides. And they had these plans. They would flip through paper, these well-made best practices of what helped in the past. And they had lifetimes of wisdom. Unlike me at age 12,

they were in their 70s and 80s. And I said to myself, how is it when I saw them struggle? How is it that with a lifetime of wisdom, experts by their side, well-made plans, they were struggling to show up as they chose. So I said, that's it.

This is my call, right? Where's the roadmap? Where's the blueprint? This is what I'm doing with my life. So I started to devour every bit of psychology, which became neuroscience, which became evolutionary biology, behavioral economics, whatever you want to call it, anything that describes human behavior and how people were choosing to show up or how they were doing what most of us are doing, which is kind of default showing up. So just kind of getting up and starting to do your thing without a lot of intent or consideration. So this is who I am. And now I spend my time, you know, my first global study on how we choose to show up was in 1999, hundreds of thousands of data points, PhD level statisticians doing all the work to analyze the data with me. So that was 1999. I've continued my own primary global research about how people choose to show up. I'd be happy to share some of that with you. So that has resulted in a number of books speaking. And I also truly show up through the visual arts.

I'll take you downstairs in just a minute. My home is a modern art gallery. And I recently showed at Art Basel, Hampton Fine Art Show. Next month I'll be at the Grand Palais in Paris, showing art at Art Capital, the Venice Biennale in Venice showing art. So those are my modes and mediums. to reduce people to nouns, which most people accept, but I don't. It would be author, speaker artist, but Lord knows, that's not who we are, right?

We also parent, we love, we friend, we daughter, we son, we support, we do all these things. So I hope that answers a little bit about who I am and how I came to be. Yep, absolutely. Yeah, I appreciate that context. There's definitely a lot to unpack there. So we're going to get into some of the questions that I have surrounding, you know, when you basically weren't able to speak. And it sounds like thought everything was still there except for there was no words coming out.

So I'm very interested with my first question here, you know, what was that like and what was your mode of communicating? Was it writing? Was it point, you know, showing? I'm just very curious on how you, you know, did communicate because you had to make it through life, you know, in general, you had to operate. So if you could take us through that and then was it something that was just, you woke up and then all of a sudden there's no communication, I'm just very curious to get that context. Yeah. So the throat muscles started to lock. And what was really at age six, and I really evolved

out of it when I didn't need it anymore. I mean, what was going on, it was saying, look, I'm six and, you know, everything disappeared that I knew. So it was a call for help. It was saying I need attention, not in a bad way, but just help me. Like, you know, I'm six years old. And when I evolved out of it was when Little Marcy was Big Marcy, I was already a college student when it was starting to subside. And I didn't need it any.

It didn't serve me anymore, right? Our inner world creates our outer world. And when kind of then quasi-adult, Marcy was able to kind of hug myself and say, I am here for you. I am taking care of myself now. When Big Barcy was able to hug Little Mercy, you know, I'm starting to do like tear, tear up here because we all need this. We all need our big selves to, you know, re-love and re-care for our smaller selves. I started to become more fluent, although I didn't figure this out until last summer, that the fluency was. the recognition that I'm taking care of myself and I'm giving myself the attending that I need.

So what it was like back then was just trying to push words out. So it was coming out with sounds like parts of syllables, especially if the word started with a vowel. The word unusual, for example, that you, oh my God, it would just come out as like, you know, again and again. And then I would just stop. You know, I would try to push. it out and it was so stressful. I started to feel bolts of lightning from the earth through my

through the soles of my feet coming up through my body and exploding through my skull into the sky. And I remember even at a very young age thinking, this is like level 10 stuff. You know, I mean, I didn't have that phrase level 10, but it's like, this is incredibly extreme. And it probably was sickening my body. I'm sure it was. But that's what it was like. But I knew from my family that I could think. You know, when you can't speak, my little brains converted it into people are assuming you can't think because you can't speak. So that defined me. I became an intellectual and I endlessly studied and I said to myself, the holy grail for me, right? My gold star is one day to be paid for my ideas. Right? And at

some point that translated into being on a stage, choosing fluent speech to communicate. That was success for me because I couldn't do it. I mean, so now I have two TED Talks. I have a best-selling award-winning book. Mel Robbins herself. Thank you, Mel, wrote the quote on the cover. You know, is it meaningful to me anymore? Like, do I need that to feel good about myself?

No, luckily, I'm past that. And it was a massive gift. And Jordan, I think this is something important for your listeners. the gift, I view it as this incredible gift because I managed to avoid growing up with this ego that most people have anxiety around social things, around being judged, around how people see them. I avoided all of that. I mean, when you can't speak, it's like, who cares what someone thinks about your outfit? You know, like, it's like so irrelevant.

I remember feeling judged. It probably lasted about seven or eight seconds when I walked into a room one day in my and I felt it and I felt how awful it was. And then I said, my God, is this what people feel like every day? So the stuttering was this unbelievable gift because I didn't develop the classic ego. I didn't feel separate from others like, Jordan, the way that you, and, And this gets into the model of how humans are designed to show up. The way that you're looking at me, the way you are internalizing me right now is speaking to the importance of our situation member role.

We're not just individualized selves, even if that's like your ego self. You're in two more roles. You're a member of a moment right here right now. And you're feeling that. Like the whole chemistry of my body shifted just now as I became one with you. And the neuroscience of this is that your brain and my brain right now are resonating like this. And I'm showing a single resonant wave. And it's in the space in between us.

So we are a single mind. This is called interpersonal, no, interneural synchronization. And a lot of people speak about this. Dr. Dan Siegel speaks about it. He's the father of interpersonal neurobiology. Anyway, so the point is, we're in a role that's called Situation Member, and you are at every moment of every day, and you're impacting the world. So this is part of the model of how we are designed by nature to show up. And through the gift of stuttering, I was able to start to notice these things. put it into a model, and to discover the third role that we're all in at every moment as well,

which is a member of something well beyond ourselves. Call it society, a race, a religion, an ethnicity, a sports team, a podcast group, a corporate culture. So we are in three roles at all times, not one. And discovering all, and by the way, so is every company, every tree, every school system, every government, every policy, every vote, right? It's an individualized vote, but it's part of a moment of your decision of voting. And then it's part of all the votes that are out there that created every legal policy that's out there. Everything is in three roles, every tree you see. So the point is that what shapes us, which are our challenges, are the defining things that create our gifts, that become our

gifts. I think your book actually speaks to this most likely, right? After all the travails you've been through, do you want to comment on that? Yeah. Yeah, it's adversity gives us strength, you know, enables us to see through a different lens, you know, and shifts our perspective. And the more that we can actually lean into that, you know, lean into what we've gained from it, the better. It's going to help us. It truly does help, can help propel us, you know. And that's when you, when you see people like speakers and coaches and authors and they put a book out, it's typically not something that they made up. These are from lived experiences.

And when we can be open and vulnerable and real for other people, they go, hey, you know what? I've been through that. I've gone through this thing. And wow. Like they now can see the value in life for them. And that becomes a massive unlock. I get a lot of feedback on that from. people that have read my book, they go, wow, like, I resonate a lot with this. I haven't been

through the exact thing, but I've been through something similar. And it just showed me that this was something that helped me, you know, and that's really powerful when you get that feedback. Right, right. So I didn't speak about stuttering for 50 years. It was until my first TED Talks. I have two TED Talks that are out there. The truth about showing up and showing up is a contact sport. And I had joined this group that gives you feedback so that you can practice on Zoom. And someone said, you know, this is kind of intellectual stuff. It's all ideas. We don't feel you. And someone kind of led me through a series of questions to basically like, why the hell am I doing this? I'm like, well, you know, being a speaker on a global stage is kind of a milestone that I want

across because of my stuttering. And I told my story and everyone was in tears. And I'm like, if you don't open your TED talk with, you know, this was me at age six. I couldn't speak. Like your message isn't going to get across. And really, that's really the beginning of everything. People need to feel each other. Otherwise, I've just come to some kind of talking head with ideas. You're designed to feel me, and I'm designed to feel you. And this is the difference between our right hemisphere and our left.

The right hemisphere is the only one that can truly show up. It's the only one for whom others are human beings, as opposed to objects. So many of us go through life and we look at each other and like, that's the person who judges me about this and I feel this about this person. We're not actually with them as humans. One of the questions that I ask in my global show-up surveys are, how often do you think about how you want others to feel in your presence?

So Jordan, what percentage of people do you think answer that with, you know, Sure, I regularly think about how I want others to feel in my... I think that if they're telling the truth, it's not a high number. Right. So I get guesses of like 10%, 20%. So the actual statistic that came back, which may be inflated, is 27%. Okay, so two thirds of us never think, I want that person to feel good in my presence, or I want that person to feel cared for.

Two thirds of us kind of never think about how do I want someone to actually heal when they're with me when really when you think about Jordan it's like that's everything do you want to be trusted do you want to be the one that comes to mind when there's a new opportunity that comes down the pike when the boss is sitting there thinking wow this this client wants like a really big piece of work who on my team should I call or we need an external expert who's who can help us with this like who's going to come to mind that's why it's so important now This is the show-up continuum. One, two, three, what I did is, you know, we all know, levels of quality are inherent in everything,

in nature, in our behavior, in how we feel about ourselves, in everything, right? So I put a simple one, two, and three. One, you're barely there. We can talk about what that means. You're burned out. You're grieving. You're exhausted. You're sick.

You just have nothing more to give. there are really good reasons to be down at level one. Level one's not a bad place. You just don't want to be stuck there. Level two, just showing up, that's the no man's land. That's the, I'm a human doing, not a human being. You're sleepwalking through life. You're like, what else is new?

I'm not motivated. I'm disengaged. I'm distracted. Just showing up level two, what my research shows, what is your guess on how many people, say that it's kind of their main, their main life. I would say 60%. 60%.

Okay, so I'll tell you. My research has been consistent now for years. 80% of people say they're just showing up 80% of the time. What does it look like? So your alarm goes off, you're in bed, you wake up. What do you do? You just start. doing. You just, you turn it off, you get up. Maybe it's your phone so it's distracting. It looks through a few

things. You brush your teeth. What's on your mind? What do I need to do? I've got to get these 12 things done. I'm going to go put this clothes on. I'm going to go make my coffee. Maybe I'm mechanistically going to make lunch for the kids upstairs. You know, blah, blah, blah, or think about this meeting or feel stressed in my stomach about, okay, I'm presenting my stuff at 2 o'clock. Whatever it is, we are in action mode. But the thing about action mode, that's the left. hemisphere. And what the left hemisphere exists to do is control, mechanistically get stuff done. It is developed because when we were evolving, like now we're back thousands of years, we're in our tribe, we're out in nature. There were two things we needed to do to survive.

One was we needed to eat, but the other we needed a whole different system for her. We had to not be eaten. So one is get it done. There's an elk out there. I'm going to run after. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to narrow. My attention is this big. Nothing else exists. And it's about control power over, get stuff done. You're not, this is, it can be your staring at a spreadsheet. It can be your taking a dish out of the dishwasher. It doesn't matter. It's this mechanistic thing. There's no care. It doesn't matter if that deer out there, that we're chasing is that mommy deer. And it just had its little babies. And it's, and it's trying to keep its Baby safe? No, none of that matters. And this is when everyone around you is just a mechanistic

thing and they kind of bother you and they judge you and you're not thinking that, you know, just the other day, my boss was explaining that they're moving their elder mother into an elder care center and, wow, that must have been tough last weekend. I'm going to go ask them about it. No, they're just this stressful person and you're always trying to prove yourself and you never quite feel sufficient and they don't really listen. You see what I'm saying? So that's what just showing up is. It's very much of a left hemispheric. Get it done. This is when you kind of lay in bed at night and you're like, oh God, another day. Like, I'm just tired. Like, what was meaningful? I'm just struggling with the same things. Let's talk about level three truly showing up. Level three truly showing up starts where

you've got just a moment to pause. Your nervous system can reset. And all of the sudden, that same glance outside that didn't really notice anything notices the swaying of the tree. Or notices, you know, that person on the couch over there, that's the person I chose to marry. That person really matters to me. I'm going to go give them a hug. or this is the time when your teenage daughter or son, he really is triggering you these days because they can't really seem to grow up, you know, and their socks are everywhere and their homework isn't done. This is when you kind of look at them a little differently and you say,

how wondrous that they exist. And I'm just going to watch them. Because you know what happens when you do that? The person notices. And that's when they feel, they're like, huh, is mom a little different? Is dad a little different? Hey, mom. How's your day going? So what am I showing you here in real time? What I'm showing you, level three, your care circuits come on to play. This is when compassion shows up. This is literally a higher level of consciousness. We can get into this if you want to. But the world will show up.

for you as you show up to the world, right? I started to mention on a lot of podcasts recently, you know, what Einstein asked. He said, is this the kind universe or is this a mean universe? What do you think, Jordan? I think that it's a, it's a kind of universe that you make it. That's exactly what it did. Now, for the way that I look at life is things are great. I'm very optimistic all the time in spite of what I've been through in all the circumstances and everything, I've been to the other side of so much. So for me, you ask me and the sky is blue, the sun is out, and I'm smiling and grateful that I can still run and jump and play basketball at 44 years old. And I'm breathing. You know, I'm grateful. So, and I think that people that are on that number three

scale have a lot of gratitude, because if you have compassion, and you have empathy, then you're going to be grateful. And if you can have those three things, those are some great. ingredients for showing up well. Yes. So that is so gratitude is a big part of it. So what I you're you just demonstrated things really well. What Einstein responded is that it's not a kind universe and it's not a mean one. It's a self-reflected universe. So in show up parlance, the world shows up for you as you show up to the world. So what we're designed to do is take new information in with our right hemisphere. the only one that can be here now. It's the only one that's mindful. It's the only one that's actually presencing in any way. What the left one's doing is representing the past. And that's when

you live in Groundhog Day. Nothing feels meaningful and you're distracted in all of this. So we are designed to take in new information, which includes everything's novel, because it's all new, right? And it's engaging. And then you can kind of switch hemispheres and think what's going to going on like a sense make right this is when you kind of put a layer of interpretation on it wow this is a fascinating thing i'm going to tune in more i'm going to be curious about it or i've seen this before i know what's going to happen i don't recommend the latter but that's what people do and then ideally you give it back to the right because you want to recontextualize keep it within context right context over content that's that's a huge thing that we could do a whole

episode about, but we're designed to go back and forth, right? Take in what's new, analyze it in some form, and then put it back within to the broader sphere so that you can continue to re-perceive the truth of what's going on. And in life, ideally, we can kind of hover around here. We're, we and everything are always dancing along this continuum at every moment. I mean, you can look at someone and know whether they're just showing up, whether they're truly showing up, or whether they're barely there. Now, 10 minutes before they may have been somewhere else, and so might you. Some people wake up in level three. They slept really well, and they just lay in bed and go, wow, I get to live another day. I'm here. And I'm so grateful, and my kids are upstairs, and I get to,

you know, help them off to school. And I get to, you know, present in this meeting later. And I get to think through these puzzles at work. But at some point, you've worked really hard. Your brain needs a break. So you kind of move down from level three into level two. You need a break, right? It's, it's one o'clock. You need some food. You need to actually go out and see further than just the screen in front of you, maybe, and then recharge. So we are always moving along this continuum every moment of every day. So is everybody else. So is everything else. And what that means is that this becomes a permission system. Don't judge others, okay, unless you want to live a judgment life, right? Because it's going to be reflected back. Everyone's moving along this just like you. They have

permission to be exactly who and what they are right now, as do you, because it's the best we can all do for who we are right now. And what that means is it lets you stop living in by me, right? Life is happening by me. I have to push the boulder up a hill. It's all up to me. I have to get it done. And it lets you live more and through me. I'm going to accept things. Right? It's my choice how I interpret things. And it's my choice what I do with that, right? Am I going to live my life? Woe is me. I can't speak. Or am I going to live my life of I'm going to figure out how we're designed to show up on this planet? Because that's my calling. Love it. Love it. I want to shift gears to art. You just dropped a bunch of places like Art Basel and Paris, and you just kind of drop that stuff very

nonchalantly. But what I know, I don't know much about Art Basel. I actually know it more for the sneaker culture versus like the art culture, because I'm a sneaker guy. I've been, you know, collecting sneakers since the 90s. I did sold sneakers for a long, long time. And that's how I know about art Basel, but obviously it is about the art overall. So talk a little bit about when you realize that art was something that you enjoyed. And then I know you're actually literally going to walk us by for people that are going to watch the video here through some art. So yeah, so art. I mean, everyone's an artist. Absolutely. Everyone is an artist. You can define art as poetry. You can define art as as performance. You can define art. I would agree with that because I've been

at breakdancer since 95 and break dancing is a form of art, you know. So I believe this is the one that's going to be at Art Capital at the Grand Palais in Paris. But by the way, and you can see it has a dimensionality. It's made of resin. I just put my cubes on the floor, but here's another one. Yeah, that's very cool. These are some smaller ones. Here's some bigger ones.

So to me, behavior is art. How you choose to look at another human being and engage with them, absorb who they are, their energy, their feelings. their hopes, their dreams, their authenticity or their fear, right? People often live. So I think that there's four kind of holes that people can fall into that push us into a version of just showing up. One is needing to be seen as a certain thing because you don't feel safe like speaking out in the meeting or maybe telling someone who's important in your life that you actually feel that there's a boundary that they've crossed. And if they do it again, you're actually going to have to

not spend time with them, right? People are afraid to do that. So there's need to be seen as. There's, I'm better than, which is really a cover up for the insecurity of I'm lesser than. And then there's, I deserve. And these are all things that push you into just showing up, into an inauthentic way of being. Here's one of the larger pieces that's in my home right now. Yeah, that's awesome. You can see it has a lot of dimensionality. It's made of resin. And how long would a piece like that take?

This particular piece? How long would it take? Oh, my goodness. Anywhere from a week at the least to a month or more, this has a number of layers of resin, and it took a while to be shaped. It has a lot of different convolutions. I don't know how well they're coming through in the video.

Yeah. They look great. So the other question I've always wondered, I've never asked an artist, but like, when do you know you're done? When do you know the piece is done? You know, like it's like sometimes you look at it and in my head, I'm like, I guess they didn't want to finish it. And in your head, you're like, no, it's, it is finished. And so who makes that call? I guess it's the artist, right? I don't know if you can see this. There's a cave. I've made a cave in this one. I don't know if you can see it. Yeah, I can see it. It's black on black. So it's so it's hard to see. and somewhere clear. So how do you know that? So my medium has an opinion.

It has a very strong opinion. And it tells me when it's done. And I'm not here to sell art off a wall. Truly showing up, let me just define showing up, which I haven't done. But I mean, truly showing up is caring for others and contributing and giving back. So I'm a visual artist because when you're standing in front of the art,

it leaves you to stop. And in that stopping, your body calms down, and it reflects for you who you are. And it switches you into your right hemisphere often. And then you're more likely to be kind, and you're more likely to have a greater depth of understanding, a greater grounding in who you are. You're more likely to be patient.

You're more likely to kind of truly show up. So that's one of the reasons I do art. But another really important, thing and this this gets to this this whole doneness is that because i am for example um kind of hosting the main wall in the penthouse at a global art show if someone walks in and kind of looks at the art i can kind of tell are they an artist kind of wishing that they had their stuff on the wall and i can say do you create art within five minutes i can say hey you live nearby i have a space right here on my wall, I want you to come back tomorrow. Bring me a piece. Let me put it up for you.

The other thing that I can do is my studio is downstairs and it's somewhat well-sized. I can offer my guest room for two weeks to someone who comes from, who doesn't have a lot of money and they can come and stay in my guest room and make art in my studio and then we can do a joint show. So it's called Artist in Residence, and I'm part of a network called the Schim Art Network. the largest global network of artists around the world. It's housed on artsy. And through that network, we can all offer each other residences. I mean, not everyone has a guest room, but you got a couch. And maybe you're in a place where a couch is just fine for someone who lives who knows where, right? So this is the truly show up version of being a visual artist. So that's part of the reason

that I do it. But everyone's an artist. But what I find is that people, don't have the, I love this piece. And really what it should, it should cover a whole wall. Like there should be a whole wall that has these interesting convolutions. So I will, I will do that probably in some corporate office somewhere. But that's, that's the point. I mean, the orientation toward life that's a truly show up or orientation is kind of doing what you're doing, Jordan, which is orienting your life around bringing others with you, uplifting others. That is the way to feel a sense of meaning, to feel that your life was well lived. And that's what we're here to do, right?

As I started with the story of the tree that helps the other tree across the forest award off the infestation of beetles, right? We're here to help each other. That's the model of how nature designed humans to show up, which is the subtitle of the book. And frankly, it's probably why Mel Robbins agreed to write her quote on the cover. It's because it's all about giving back. Yeah, no, that's great. What I love to find out is, you know, when you decided that you wanted to, you know, be part of this author's group, you know, and, you know, invest in other people's journey and be able to give back to the community, you know, how did, A, how did that start? Were you a founder of this or is this something that you found? And you said, wow, I want to pursue this and make this part of the, you know, the kind of philanthropic way that you get back to community? So I've always created art.

I didn't actually start to sell it or pursue global art shows literally until probably April of 2025. And then by July of 2025, I had an entire booth at the Hampton Fine Art Fair. And then from there, I was invited to the Boston Fine Art Fair. And then Miami, you know, Art Basel in Miami, and then Paris and Venice. I also, though, meet people through donating my art.

There's a group called My Sister's Place. I just donated a $3,000 sculpture to them. They help bat. This word is so hard for me. Battered men and women and trafficked. Men and women around the world. So anyway, I do a lot of donating as well and raising money. In fact, tonight, in just like three hours,

I'm going to the Rye, New York Art Center opening of a local art show where children and elders, I mean, across all ages, you just submit a piece. They don't jury it. There's no, like, good enough or not. And everybody, someone who's six years old, someone who's three years old can submit a piece and have it on the wall. And mom and dad gets a come and take photos. And now, you know, little so-and-so is an artist. And I love supporting that. I donated a piece. You know, they are, this is a fundraiser for the Arts Center that teaches

dance and music and art and all sorts of arts. And it's just great to be part of. And I let the center know if my piece sells, I don't know, it's 4K or something. If it sells, I said, you're, you know, supposedly the split is 60, 40 or something. I said, this is all for you, you know, because it gives more to me to give it to you. And I'm lucky enough that that I can do that. You know, I'm not feeding my children with money from the art. Yeah, that's great. So I have a brain question for you.

You seem to love talking about the brain. And I would love to find out just from my own curiosity and our listeners may have thought about this too. So I'm the kind of artist because you said everyone's an artist. So I will claim that. I'm the kind of art. that I can look at any picture, cartoon character, Looney Tunes, whatever, and if I see it,

I can draw it exactly how it looks. Okay, now if you take the image away, can't do it. Now my son can draw anything without seeing any image. So how is that possible, A, like that different people can just, you know, draw in different ways because literally it would look like a three-year-old draw on a stick figure if I can't see the image, but if I see it, it's perfect just how it is. It's just a bigger scale, typically.

Oh, my goodness. Okay, I do not have an answer to that question. It is not something I've studied. The first one to stump you. I got it. And I do not know. And I do not know. What I'd love to share with people, Jordan, if it's okay.

Because people, like, I want to explain to some, I want to share a story about how there was someone who spent his entire life kind of not truly being present and always feeling like he had to take care of things. How he, within about three or four minutes, experienced, moved from judgment into compassion and presence. Because people tell me that this is a really compelling story. And it gets people, it teaches people really about truly showing up. So, and this is a true story. So I was at a gym, and there was a gentleman with a grandchild in his arms. And I had made a comment about how incredibly beautiful it was because he was, he was staring at her and she was staring at him.

And there was a togetherness and an intraconection to use Dan Singles' word, where you and me become me, right? There's truly a oneness. And I said to him, you know, I'm feeling this. And we exchanged words and cards. And within about two weeks, he says to me, Marcy, I've never. felt I was present ever. And he explained when I was young, my parents would fight. And he was the oldest of three sons. And the lack of safety in the house led everyone to feel so anxious that he started to caretake his younger kids, his younger brothers, mostly at first through distraction,

hey, let me help you with that math, or let's go out and play basketball, or whatever it may be. And the way that he grew up, that became his way of dealing with stress, controlling things and organizing things and make sure that everyone else was taken care of. So he married a woman who was kind of one of these very dependent type of personalities. He ended up with five kids. So, you know, the balls are in the air. He's in a role where he's the CEO of a company where 500 people report to him, 500 direct reports. Does that sound like it maybe needs some thought? Anyway, he's got to keep a lot of balls in the air all the time, even on vacation, the moment that everything is copacetic, his nervous system goes on high alert. What's next? What's next? What do I need to do?

And so he understands himself. That's what I call self-grounding, which is a really important thing. It's the role for your self-roll. So he asked me what to do. He was really upset because he said, my sons are learning from me that they can never truly be here now. Because what I'm modeling for them is I'm always somewhere else. What is next? What is next? What's going to go wrong? What do I have to do? And he said, this is awful. So I said Chuck. I'm calling him Chuck. His name's not Chuck. I said Chuck. There's a man over there. By the way, we had met at 11 a I'm on a Tuesday at a cafe nearby. There's a man over there. Look at that man. So Chuck looks at the man. It takes him a millisecond. Marcy. What a schlump. He should be at work. He's not responsible. He's shucking his his responsible.

disabilities for the day, you know, I should let him know what he should go and do. This isn't right. What an irresponsible person. And he thought that that was done and he tells me and he's done and he's right. And that's it. I looked at him and I said, Chuck, keep looking. So he looks at the guy, a little bit more, he exhales. So you know he's starting to shift. It looks at the guy. And he looks at me again and he's moving more slowly now. And he says, hmm, You know, he doesn't look very happy. Maybe there's something wrong at work, and he's not paying attention to that woman that he's with. And then he moves back into judgment mode, but you can tell he's feeling a little more.

And he thinks he's done once again. That's it. That's all there is. I said, he. So he sits back, and his face softens, and his eyes are a little softer too, and his breathing slows, and he looks. And you can see his whole body shift. and he slumps a little bit in his chair. And he said, you know, Marcy, this man's really not happy.

There's something wrong. You know, he's not paying attention to the person he's with. Maybe because he's trying to fix something. He's on his phone, but he's working really hard, and it seems like there's some care. She, maybe he is working. Maybe it's actually really good that he's here, and he's with that person.

Huh. Maybe that's his dog. And he said, Marcy, there's something wrong. And he really started to care about the man. And like, tears are coming to his eyes. And he looks at me and he says, Marcy, do you think this man would accept a hug? And tears are coming to my eyes as they are right now as I even relive this. And, you know, Chuck's a big guy. You know, he's muscular. He's like really tall. He's big. And I'm thinking, a hug, oh dear. And I said, you know, I think, you know, I think, think if you do in the right way and you say, you know, I'm noticing there's something that may be wrong, you know, and you seem a little sad. Would you like a hook and you kind of do it in the soft, tearing way, maybe? So what I'm demonstrating here, fuck moved from being between barely there and just showing up way down. Like call it, call it level, you know, 1.5. And he moved through, just showing up

into truly showing up. And there's a continuum that's underneath the one that I just showed. And what happens, as you go up, is the first thing that happens is you notice. Your nervous system has to be calm.

You can't be in this, get it done, human doing, I'm going to get the elk or your mode, right? First, you notice and then you tune in and then you feel with and you naturally enact care. Notice tune in, feel with enact care. And that is the continuum of moving from barely there through just showing up into truly showing up. You're switching systems,

left hemisphere or right. Your compassion is showing up. You are literally raising your level of conscious awareness about what's going on. This is presencing. it's best. This is when you have novel ideas. You're not who you were. And that what's going on around you is not what it was. And this is what I think people are searching for their whole lives. Like they think everything's the same. I know that person that my teenage son is going to show up with the same thing. And that person who I work with is going to show up with the same judgment. And I'm seeing like I've been here before. No, you haven't. But it's up to you to live. in that moment differently.

So this is how truly showing up is really deep stuff. It's existential. So where's the best place for folks to reach out? Choose to showup.com. There's a contact page. So that's how they can find me. The books on Amazon. There are also links at choose to show up.com.

When you choose to show up, when you're intentional about being more present, it does shift things. It shifts things in relationships. It shifts things in getting promoted at work. you know, if you're someone that is investing in yourself to be better and showing up and trying to be the best version of you, that's going to impact everybody around you. Your entire environment will shift and it will change. And I've seen this happen. You know, I go to a lot of

conferences and I love going to events and conferences and in person. You know, I feel like virtually I'm halfway decent conversationalist, but you put me in person and it's a whole, whole other level of energy and I'm going to a conference this week and I love just being able to impact the place that I walk into, you know, and it's by showing up. It's exactly what you said. When we can be authentic and we can not be afraid to make fun of ourselves and laughing and getting emotional, you know, in moments where there might be emotions and just trying, if you can do that, the world around you will look a lot different like you said, Marcy. So I appreciate you coming on and sharing your story, your journey, and your heart around this. And I cannot wait for people to listen

to the episode and grab a copy of your book. Jordan, thank you for being you and your energy. I mean, I feel the honesty, right? Because you said you've been through the hard knocks, right? The saints are the sinners who fell down and got up, right? Yeah. And you are a trailblazer through and through from, you know, not being able to speak from six to your college years, you know, that adversity is something that makes a lot of people crumble. So I just want to commend you for the resilience, the tenacity, the determination to take everything in all the world around you. And once you can eventually get it out there, you're doing some incredible things and you're creating impact and you're helping a lot of people, which to me

is the most important. You know, helping others is what I always enjoy doing. And I'm glad that you were able to instill some of that knowledge into the audience, and I know folks are going to enjoy diving into your book. And so any final thoughts or words for the audience? Yeah, so two. First, the one recommendation I've got, take out a piece of paper, write down what you believe about the world. Is this a friendly universe or not? Are you impacting the world at every moment? There's a lot of science around it. My book explains how we impact people three levels deep. It's the work of Nicholas Christakas. So write down, what do you fundamentally believe about the way this world works? Is it competitive?

Are we here to help each other? Once you understand that, you will not show up the same way. You will show up far more as who you want to be. And then the second thing, I recommend choose at every moment. Choose how you're showing up because you're impacting the world. So good luck with everything you're up to, and I'm sure we're going to stay connected here. I really love that, Jordan. And by the way, fine art is about to be reduced to trade.

sports card sizes and the gentleman who started who own Comic-Con are the ones who are doing it people who really know what they're doing so I'm about to make a baseball card-sized piece of art very cool yeah that's awesome and it'd be you know traded basically is awesome very cool we'll be looking out for that and make sure we share that with the audience once that that comes out as well thank you so much marcy for your time today and coming on the show Jordan thank you you. My pleasure.