Blaze Your Own Trail - Identifying The Barriers That Are Blocking Your Success with Malorie Nicole

Episode Date: August 17, 2022

About Malorie: Malorie has spent years dedicated to understanding the science of behavior, habit, performance, and healing. She has been featured in numerous media platforms, many top rated podcasts, offering audiences a unique understanding of the power of the mind and how to become the most power version of yourself. She believes the best companies, business owners, and leaders are fully committed to their own personal development and growth. She helps people who want to: Create expansion in their life Increase fulfillment Lead their teams more efficiently Generate more money Become the best version of themselves possible She helps people by going to the root of the problem to break their glass ceilings and change the trajectory of their growth. Connect with Malorie: https://malorie-nicole.com/ Thanks for listening! Connect with Jordan: LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanjmendoza/⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/therealjordanjmendoza/⁠ Clapper: ⁠https://clapper.vip/jordanjmendoza⁠ Join my Facebook Group: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/linkedintrailblazers⁠ Website: ⁠https://www.blazeyourowntrailconsulting.com Installing strategic sales systems & processes will stop the constant revenue rollercoaster you might be facing which is attainable through our 6 Week Blazing Business Revenue Coaching ProgramBook a discovery call with Jordan now to learn more! Are you an entrepreneur?Join my FREE Group Coaching Community where we have live calls, Q&A and more! Our Trailblazer Ecosystem also enables you to network with other entrepreneurs and creator hub eliminates multiple subscriptions and logins creating a one stop shop to take action!Use code: FOUNDING100 for 12 months access FREE and Founding pricing for life! (While Supplies Last)Join now! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I had a total of 11 jobs between the age of 11 and 17, just trying to help and support my mom. When I gave away my ATS resume template, I used to charge $3,000 for it. If I were someone that wanted to work with you, I think the thing that would resonate with me the most is a fact that you have been as far as they will fall. I gave her all my videos, and today she's a message saying I got my first client, and it could not be happier for her. On my show, one thing I love to do is really get context into people's journey. I saw vegetables door to door. I saw newspapers. I do it because I truly care to help.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail Podcast. I'm your host, Jordan Mendoza. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza, and I'm your host. And I've got a very special guest today. Her name is Mallory Nicole. And I'm going to have her tell you who she is and what she does today. Jordan, I'm excited to be here.

Thank you for having me. You and I have been kind of crossing paths over the last couple years. I feel like and still haven't had a time to talk. So now we finally made it happen. I do mindset and entrepreneurial and executive coaching with people. So basically what I help them do is identify the barriers that they are not aware of. Sometimes these are old childhood barriers that are showing up in present day adults, business life. And sometimes this is just more of a consulting. approach and being able to think outside the box a little bit about how they are developing their teams and running their business and creating growth within their company. So I work one-on-one with people and I do group work also on mindset topics. And I also host a podcast, abundantly clear podcast. And that is the primary work that I do. Awesome. Awesome. Thank you for sharing that. And we're definitely going to dive into some of your work later. We'll dive into the show and make sure people can get that info as a resource later in the show. But we're going to, we're really starting at my favorite part, which is the beginning, because we get to go back to the beginning. So I'd love for you to share

some context with the audience. You know, where did you grow up? And let's give some context on, you know, elementary through high school years. So what kind of kid were you, what were you into, have any hobbies? Was it sports? Was it more academics? I'd love to learn this info. Yeah. So I was homeschooled. I think that's probably one of the first outlier kind of weird things. I was homeschooled until fifth grade, I believe. So most of like childhood was very independent learning, just self-starter teaching myself things, reading a whole lot of books, spending a lot of time outdoors. One of the things that we did as kids that my, my parents felt was really important us to have a lot of involvement in extracurricular activities. So I was always involved in something. And I grew up in Charlotte, North Carolina.

So I've gone full circle. I'm back in that region and in that area. Now I've lived various places over the last 12 years in between all over the place, really. But now I'm back east. And childhood, you know, I'll just be really transparent and honest. Childhood was a little crazy for me. I lived in a little bit of a chaotic household. It was kind of a high stress environment for many years.

So there were a lot of good times in my childhood. I have a really fantastic family and family is like the number one thing to me in my life. But looking back, there was just a lot of craziness. It took my parents a really long time to figure out how to get along. I think, you know, that happens with relationships. It's interesting because I'm a parent and my wife and I, we have five kids. So we have three boys. You don't look old enough to have five kids.

I appreciate that. We have three boys and two girls. And here's another one for you, Mallory. our oldest is 16. He's a sophomore in high school. So we're dealing with from 10 months old up into 16. And man, the different personality types,

the difference between the boys and the girls and trying to figure that out. And so when you said, you know, my parents were still trying to figure it out. I get it. You know, I'm there. You know,

I am that parent that's like, man, are we doing this? Are we doing this right? Like, are they turning into the people that we want them to turn into? You know, when you said chaos, it reminded me of kind of how I grew up as well because I grew up in kind of a chaotic household with lots of boys. And my stepdad was an alcoholic. And so there was some of that going on and that craziness. And man, you know, when you go back to those times, it's very loud. You know, it's very loud. And so, you know, you seem like the type of person that would definitely prefer a more quiet environment and peaceful environment. Just like even looking at your sex. heading right here for the audience that's going to see this video. I mean, you've got plants.

It's neutral and it seems very calming. It is, but it took me a while, to your point, growing up in that environment, my body was so programmed and used to be in high stress. And it took me a while in adult life to understand that I didn't have to be there all the time. I was defaulting to high stress, force, overthinking, push, push, push energy. And I didn't realize where that was coming from. And so much of it was coming from, you know, growing up in a high stress environment and always having to be really paying attention and always having, you know, your brains going 100 miles an hour all the time because there's just a lot of things going on in your home.

and I carry that. And you're right now, when you look at my environment, I spent a lot of time in the garden outside with plants, going hiking, out in nature. I would say like my natural state is just a lot different than it was for the majority of my life. Yeah. But, you know, I think also, because you had mentioned something about you were in

Costa Rica, right? I think this may have been off air. You're in Costa Rica. Yeah. Just literally decided to pick up and move to the Pacific Northwest. So, you know, your personality type has a deep level of spontaneity, right? It does. You're able to just pick up.

And I'm very similar to that where, like, you could create a wheel and put a bunch of different destinations on it. And I would spin it and wherever it landed, I would just grab a backpack and go because I love that. I love that sense of I don't need an itinerary, right, to go and have a good time. We can just figure it out when we get there. And it's interesting, though, when you're around people that aren't that way, that need the details and the information and the plan, man, do those two things kind of bash against

each other? Yes, they do. When I was 21, I bought a one-way ticket to New Zealand and I got a work visa and I just went over there and was winging it. And I still remember the looks that I got from people just like, what do you mean you're going to New Zealand? First of all, where is that? You know, a lot of people, it's a tiny little country. So a lot of people, you know, don't even have a good grasp of where it is on the map. But second of all, what do you mean one way? You don't know when you're going to come back and just the questions that that raised. That was one of the most fun things I've ever done in my life.

But to your point, it was incredibly spontaneous. And a lot of the best decisions I've made have been completely spontaneous without a whole lot of, you know, logical reason or thinking behind it. Yeah. So probably more intuition-based, right? the feeling that you got, you know, and you just went based on that, you know, and I know intuition is a very powerful thing. And I know for me, there have been times when I have not listened to it and it's been a detriment. And then there's times when I have and it's been a very positive outcome. So I would love to rewind it a little bit, right? We jumped, we jumped ahead into

the future. We skipped my 16th birthday. Well, you know, what we didn't do is find out, you know, You mentioned you were homeschooled until fifth grade. So what was that first year of middle school like in public school or did you go to private school? Like I'd love some context on, you know, what that journey was like because I imagine it was very different. It was really awkward. I mean, you basically had like went from field trips every day probably to like field trips once

a quarter. You know, sitting at a desk for eight hours. Yeah, I went to private school for two years before I went to public school. It was awkward. Like I remember just feeling like I did not fit in. I mean, that is like the best way to explain it. You know, I don't sit back and think about this every day of my life. But when I think about when I really tune into how did I feel as a fifth grader in that transitional environment, I mostly felt out of place. I mostly felt like I'm not sure if there's space here for me. You know, most of the kids that I went into a classroom with, they had been there.

since the beginning together. They had all already known each other for many, many years. And I was homeschooled. And being homeschooled was a little bit of like, that's what, you know, outsiders do. Like you think about Little House on the Prairie. You think about like dorks out in the field, like they don't have any connection to society, which is not how it was at all. But people didn't understand, you know, 10 year olds didn't understand. What do you mean you did school at home? I don't it. Yeah. Yeah. And then now you fast forward to 2020 and everybody did homeschool. Right. Like everybody was at home now and you're like, now they get it. Right. Now they get what this is like. So when you think about being homeschooled up until fifth grade, you had to have maybe one

pivotal moment that sticks out. Maybe it was something that you learned or something that you went and did, something you experienced it. Is there one thing that maybe you can think of that. that you could share with the audience. Yeah, so my favorite thing that we did was called co-op. And it was once a month, there was another, so funny, like thinking back on this, like saying, talking about it out loud. My mom had other homeschool mom friends

that she was friends with. And there were like five families, I believe, off the top of my head, I think it's five families. And every Friday, we would get together and do activities. So it was like this, quote unquote, going to school once a week to do an activity. And I loved that. Most of my homeschool memories, I don't remember actually teaching, learning, like self-learning. Like, that's not where the memories are. The memories are those projects that we did together,

the things that we worked on. We built a map that was like the size of a gymnasium. Like, we did some really crazy stuff together. And it was a super cool learning experience. else. That's awesome. Yeah, it sounds like a lot of fun. Sounds like it's more hands-on, you know, getting that experience of doing. Yes, it was. Versus having to, and then you go to this environment that's like super regimented. I'm sure you probably were now wearing a uniform. You're like, what was? What is happening here? Right. So that in itself has got to be just awkward, right? You go from very open and free. And if you get it done early, you've got more time to hang versus it didn't matter now because you've got to follow this certain schedule.

So I could see when you said earlier, you know, it felt awkward and out of place. And now you're dealing with the clicks, these kids that grew up together, right? So there's all these different dynamics. So did you feel like during that two years that you ever fit in, you know, when you look back at the end of that?

Did you make friends? And did you build relationships that you carried on? And maybe that you still have friends from that time today? I don't have friends from that time. I just feel like I wasn't there long enough to really deviant. develop that. But I really wanted to go to public school. So I still remember the conversation that I had with my parents and them telling me that I was going to go to public school and start a private

school and being so completely excited about it. So when I think about the private school time, I don't know if I ever fully, like I had friends and I became a part of the groups or, you know, whatever lingo or language you want to use with that. But when I went to public school, I was like, oh my gosh, I get to be a cool kid now. I get to go to the public school. And so you go to public school. Is that so eighth grade? Is that, was that your first year or what year was that? I went to public school. Let's see, private was fifth and sixth. So I went to public school. So now you're in public school, right? So ditch the uniform, right? I'm sure you were, I'm sure you were excited about that. So how was that? In seventh grade, I remember,

being a seventh grade, it was like at least like from a boy's perspective, super awkward. Like you're trying to figure out who the heck you, you know, it's that really awkwardness. But I guess for you, it probably felt more free as a seventh grader in public versus private because it's not as strict. And the uniform has gone, all these different things. So what was that experience like kind of being able to be yourself? And did you make friends quicker in public school and how was that overall experience going through public school from middle and high school? So this is important. And I want to just tie this in a little bit. My parents also at the transition from private to public split up for a little while. And that was pretty challenging.

You know, that had a total play into my own transition from one school to the next. So those years are not the most exciting years of life. They were pretty just hard as a kid. I had a little sister. I was very much playing the role of older sister trying to help her out and just get through what our family was going through at the time. But I made friends quicker in public school than I did middle. And I still have connections to some of the people that I went to school with, not a terrible amount. But I felt like public school made a lot more sense for me. I do remember feeling very quickly, oh, I like it more here. I'm having more fun.

I feel more connected to people. this is just a better non-regimented maybe is a way to say it environment for me to be in. Makes sense. Makes sense. So when you were in public high school, did you get into any sports? I know in homeschool, you did a lot of extracurricular activity. Stay active that way. Did you get involved in sports in high school or any other extracurricular stuff?

Yeah. I played basketball. I wasn't a school basketball team, but it was like an outside league that I did for a number of years. And then I also, this is kind of funny, my friend asked me if I wanted to try out for volleyball and I had never played volleyball before. So I was like, yeah, sure, why not? Let's give it a shot. And this was in eighth grade. I did really, really well on the days of trials. Like I crushed it. I don't know where it came from. I didn't know anything about volleyball, but I did well enough to make the team. Well, it turns out I'm not that good at volleyball. I just happened to have a couple really

performance on days. And I really struggled through the season. I asked my coach a number of times, like, can I please just not play? It was very evident further into the season. Like, these girls were outperforming me. I just had a really hard time getting to where they were. And I felt so much relief when the season was over. And I was like, I'm never trying out for the sport again. This is not my sport. I'm sticking with basketball. And that's that. So did you go on to play basketball? I was still playing basketball at the time, and I kept playing basketball. I actually don't remember the age that I stopped playing basketball. You know, your body just creates memory patterns. I have a neighbor next door, and one of the kids plays basketball. So there's like a hoop right there,

and sometimes I'll go out and still, as an adult, shoot hoops. And I'm, I still got it. It's still there. Yeah, I don't think that that muscle memory really ever leaves. I never played like high school. I always played church leagues or rec leagues and things like that. But I still, I turned 40 in February and I still play basketball three or four days a week. You know, and that's what I love to do. I don't actually like going and lifting weights. That's too heavy.

But I like to play basketball, you know. When's your birthday? February 11th. Oh, mine's 26th. We're close, though. Close. My younger brother, who's 20 years younger, was his birthday is February 26 as well.

Really? Oh, it's super funny. So let's talk after high school. So what'd you end up doing? Did you want to go to college? Was that something in your purview? Did you want to work? What route did you go? And did family or anything else have any influence in your decision?

Yeah, because again, so this sheds light into this a little bit. My parents ended up getting back together during that transition. of going into middle school. But again, when I was about to graduate, there was another spout of stuff with them and they split up again. So those years were a little bit volatile. And I really was just like the kid that wanted to leave

and get away at that time. I was like, I'm over it. I want to move. I want to have my own freedom. I don't want to listen to anyone anymore. And I applied for Appalachian State University because I always thought that I wanted to go there. And I got in.

and everybody in my high school also was going to Appalachian State. And I was like, no, I'm so, you know, it's just an angry teenager. I don't want to go do this over again. I want to do something different. So I ended up moving to Wellington, North Carolina, and I missed the deadline to apply for the university, because this was just an impulsive last minute change and decision on my part. But I moved down there and went to a community college and then transferred in to the university after I think it was like a year or two years. I can't even remember. This wasn't even

that long ago. And I'm having a hard time recalling it. But I ended up staying in Wilmington for six years and living on the coast, having a good time down there. Awesome. Awesome. So you went to school there and what were you studying in school? And then what did you end up doing when you finished? Yeah. So I ended up studying geospatial technology and water quality studies. And I had a couple internships when I was there in the science field. I worked for the state for a lab. I also worked for the Army Corps of Engineers working on geospatial projects. And after that, I graduated and went, well, there's a, there's more that happened here. So I actually had a brain injury in the middle of college and I had to take a year off. And that was a pretty long healing process. So it took me a while

to finish school because I had already delayed the process by going to community college and then transferring. So getting my degree took five years, tack on another year of a break to let my brain heal. Getting my undergrad took like six years. But after that, I ended up working in water quality studies and then working for an engineering firm for a handful of years before I started a business. Okay. And so how is everything now with the with the injury? It's good. No. signs, no symptoms. That was a really weird time because I still remember going to the doctor and thinking that I was completely okay and ready to go back to school. Because as far as I was concerned, you know, I was on bed rest for a while and I was in the ICU. And from the growth and healing that

I had had in eight weeks time, I was like, oh yeah, I'm totally, I'm totally good. I can go back to college. It's totally fine. And I had to take a cognitive testing ability thing. that they make you do. You don't have to do it. You know, it's not like state required, but they're basically trying to help you gauge, like, what you could reenter and how your brain's functioning. And I took it. And the doctor came into the room. I'll never forget this moment, because it's just my heart sink. And he looked at me and he was like, if you go back to school right now, you're going to fail. You're going to have to take some time and let your brain heal. And I was like, okay, well, how long is it going to take? Like, what is this going to look like? And the thing

about brain injuries is that you don't know. You don't know if it's going to get better or if it's going to stay as it is. So I remember feeling in that moment like, oh my gosh, like this might be permanent. Like, no, there's no way. Like I am not doing that. That is not the path for my life. I'm not doing that. And it was a very hard day. But I just remember believing that that was not my reality. Like, that's not going to happen. And six months later, things were fine. What does that process, that healing process, look like? I mean, I think the logical thing that I would think is that don't do anything that's going to make your head move, right?

That's probably one thing you're probably not supposed to maybe don't listen to loud music. You know, what are the things that they, is there like a list that they give you of things not to do and, you know, what's okay? Yeah. So it's basic, you're right. It's, if you look at it like a muscle, like if you hurt your arm, you really quickly know how much you can use your arm after you've heard it and what you're allowed to do and what your arm doesn't allow because you start to feel pain. The brain works the same way.

It's just with stimulation. So you're not banging your head against a wall or lifting weights with your head, but you're using it to think. And it has a threshold of, hey, you're overdoing it. We're not there yet. And it will quickly, like in the snap of a finger, start to turn into, for me, this was my experience. This isn't everybody's that has a brain injury. But it would start to turn into a migraine and I would just be out. And it was basically the balancing act of you need to chill out, but we can't give you any exercises or anything that's going. It's not like you can go to physical therapy, right? It's not like saying, hey, go do these muscle exercises to help your arm get better. It's more just don't do anything and wait it out and we can't

give you a timeline, which is such a weird. I mean, that's like such a weird thing to be told. like, oh, you might go back to college, you might not. We're really not sure right now. Come back in a couple months and we'll figure it out. Oh, okay. Great. Yeah, because there's no, yeah, there's, you just don't know the end, right? You don't know what.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure that has to be mentally draining because you might even be think yourself. Am I thinking too much right now? You know, my, you know, my hurting my, how do I not think? You know, you know, so I'm sure there's probably a lot of. mind work that you were doing with yourself during that time because when what else were you going to do right exactly and when you alter a brain the way that i did because i had internal bleeding and so it takes a long time for that bleeding to dissipate and then there's also like a sore spot in

your brain that has to to heal and when that happens it creates different neural pathways that affects the way your endorphins are released. So it also has an impact on, you know, just your overall feeling and state. I remember just going through a lot of very heavy emotions during that time and it feeling a little bit almost like out of control, like, where is this coming from? And there's a whole lot of grace that's required. I did a lot of reading and research on that just later on in life to understand. And it's really, really common and normal people that experience brain injuries often go through strange waves of up and down emotions in the healing process because the brain is not working the same way than it was prior to the injury.

It's trying to reheal itself. And with that, it's not doing what it was. Yeah. No, that definitely makes a lot of sense. And so thinking back to what you endured, that's a high level of adversity, right? You're internal bleeding in your brain and you can't do anything. It's got to heal itself. It takes time. You know, what are some lessons if you can extract any that you learn that really add value to what you do today in helping other people? Because I'm a big believer that adversity gives us strength.

And it really enables us to see through a different lens. And so having that, that is like armor that you bring to the table with your clients because you're battle-hardened. So can you continue to share a couple of lessons that you, picked up during that really, really hard time. Yeah, for sure. That day in the doctor's office when he looked into my eyes and said, you can't go back to school right now.

It might be this way forever. We don't know. I was gutted, like completely gutted. But I also still remember looking back and knowing that maybe it wasn't a full belief that I had at the time, but there was a belief that existed that that didn't have to be true. And that might seem so silly. but that is what I think that we all can carry and tune into in everything that we do in our lives and in our businesses. Are we really asking ourselves about the limitations that we're

unconsciously creating if it's true or if we've just decided that that's our reality? And I don't think that we give ourselves the opportunity to ask those questions enough about what we created because we get comfortable in the life that we have in. Sometimes, Jordan, sometimes that means we get comfortable in chaos and we get comfortable in stress and we get comfortable in lack and limitation. But until we start to question that reality and question why we've decided that about ourselves and about our world, you know, we don't give ourselves the opportunity to grow into into the potential that we have to grow into. And I don't know, you know, I can't prove this. There's no formula that proves this, but I believe that believing and having, faith and trust and hope in something bigger has a lot to do with why something bigger is created.

Looking back, I could have just decided, you know what, he's right. I'm done. This is it. I'm going to have to be on disability for the rest of my life and my parents are going to have to take care of me. And had I made that decision for myself and accepted that as my reality, we might not be having this conversation. I'm a big believer in that as well. I, you know, at 19, it was actually 21 years ago, three days ago, I got in a near fatal accident and I had to have 52 staples between two legs and laser surgery. And they were like, yeah, you might not be able to walk. And, you know, going through that process of healing, you know, there are those, you know, sometimes those doubts in your mind. But when you can look at it and say, you know what, I'm not going to let this

happen to me, like I'm going to figure out how to make it through so that I can do all the the things that I could do before. You know, I mean, I was a break dancer for a long time and, like, play a lot of sports. And to not be able to do that stuff, that gives you some gumption and determination that you're going to push through. And rehab of anything sucks. I don't care, you know, rehabbing, stubbing my pinky toe sucks, right? So when you think about some of the things that happen to people that are even deeper and

more painful, that process takes so much longer. But if you have that belief and you have that mindset that, you know what, I can each day if I just get a little bit better, if I can think a little bit more clear, if I can get a little bit more strength, day by day, that's going to create, you know, the momentum that's that we need to really get back to where we are. Absolutely. And to your point, I just want to really fully, fully rein that in because a lot of times I think people believe that they have to be 100%. set all in. I don't think that your brain actually has to do that or your mindset actually has to do that to create change. You just have to believe something is possible a little bit and keep going back to it and keep feeding it and keep paying attention to it and keep being conscious of it to create that shift. It's okay to have doubts. Like we're not born into this world and we don't go through this life without experiences that create conditioning in us that settles,

doubts in our brains. It's okay to have those things. But it's just a matter of at the end of the day, are we letting those win? Absolutely. Absolutely. So you shared that you worked for, you know, a couple of different organizations until you started your business. So I think we're at that point. I'd love for you to share, you know, with the audience. You gave a little context at the beginning of the episode in what you do. But can you just talk a little bit about for anyone that's listening, right if if they said you know what i really want to get my mindset dialed in you know i have more doubts than i have optimistic thoughts what are some tips that you could share with the audience for and this could be for anybody it could be you know we've got aspiring entrepreneurs

listening we've got teachers authors speakers there's a very wide variety of people that listen in so what would be helpful for anybody that may be stuck and they just can't get past some of these maybe limiting beliefs that they have. Yeah. So the first thing that I really want people to know that they can do really quickly and easily is to start paying attention to how they actually feel. Because we live on autopilot most of the time, we're not actually aware of how we feel. We're not aware of the stress and the anxieties that we hold and that we kind of shove down and try and push away and keep moving forward. And when we do this, what happens is we bypass our emotions. And the emotion doesn't go anywhere. The emotion actually keeps us stuck and keeps us blocked

from shifting into the brain state that we need to make conscious, clear decisions based in abundance, based in a reality that we desire, that's more for us, based in potential. So the first thing we need to do is to really start asking ourselves when we find these stress patterns we're in or just every single day, really ask and tune in and pay attention and say, how do I feel? What am I feeling? What am I actually feeling right now in this moment? We are so scared of our emotions. It is like the wildest thing. When we think about conflict, the conversations that we might need to have with our husbands, our wives, our spouses, our business partners, anybody in our life, we get so scared. to have those conversations that have potentially conflicting energy around them. And it's not the conversation we're scared of. It's the energy of conflict, the fear that we might be feeling. And saying this, I say this because I want people to understand how powerful they really

are and how your emotions are just something that your body is doing. Your body is just saying, hey, release those chemicals, feel this certain way. All right, now you feel this certain way. What are you going to do about it? Right? But we let our emotions take over. and when we let them take over, we don't make the conscious decisions we have the potential to make. So if we start creating awareness to our emotions, we can navigate objectively through them.

And the other part of this is to really start questioning ourselves. And I don't mean, hey, everyone, hey, Jordan, you should start overthinking every day. You should start questioning every decision you're making. I mean really looking at this big picture and start questioning, have I allowed myself to, receive the things that I want to receive in life. Have I allowed myself to dream in the way that I want to dream? Have I allowed myself to have really true, connected, intimate relationships in my personal life? Have I allowed myself to think all of this is possible for me? You know, have you really tuned into the questions that create the reality that you're living? And if you haven't, you can start

digging deeper and ask, why might I be holding onto a belief that I don't deserve that? Or why might I be holding on to a belief that it can't be easier than it is right now, or whatever that limitation is, it all starts with conscious awareness. And most of us are not tuning in the way we have the capability and potential to tune in to create these shifts and these changes in our life. Very, very good and very useful and helpful info. If you need to write that down,

you can always rewind everybody. So, but that was very good. You know, I think, you know, I don't ask myself enough. question. In hearing you say that, I thought about them like, yeah, sometimes I don't, I don't ask that. I don't ask myself how I'm doing in a particular moment. And you're right, we can just let time fly right past us. I think everybody is guilty of it. Just going through those motions and not taking a step in a breath, really. You know, like not just taking, not pausing for a minute and figuring out where you are and kind of resetting and reframing for where you want to go next.

So I really, really love that advice. Very, very helpful. So what was it that wanted you to, you know, leave what you were doing, working for some great organizations and step into your calling, right? Step into what your purpose is because that's really what I feel like it is. Because you experience the trauma and the adversity and the chaos and all the things along your journey, it's really prepared you to be able to be that person, that sounding board for other people, I feel like.

So there's a story here. And we've been talking for a little while, so I try to make this one short. I had another bout of adversity when I was working for the engineering firm. And overnight, well, the symptoms showed up overnight, but I had a health issue that was long in the making. I mean, if you've been listening to this for the last 30 minutes, you know, I had a lot of stress and my body went through a lot of stress in my life. Well, in my early 20s, I developed some food intolerances, and for anybody that's listening, I'm not going to go on a health, hurrah here, but you don't develop food intolerances overnight. It's a long history of stress responses and not taking care of your body

that leads to that result later on. So I didn't know this at the time, and that's not what it felt like. It basically felt like I woke up with the flu and the flu wasn't going away. And I was going to the doctor, getting blood work, my liver enzymes were going through the roof. All of this stuff was happening and nobody could tell me what was wrong. This was before gluten intolerances are talked about the way they are. This is before you go into a restaurant and you can see, oh, if you have a gluten intolerance, you can order these things.

This is before you knew five people on one hand that probably have one, that they were learned, that they were aware that that's what it was that was causing their symptoms at the time. This was like right before the brink of all of that. And it took about three months of migraines, rashes all over my body, aches and pains, It's dropped a bunch of weight, hormonal panels going all over the place, liver enzymes through the roof. Nobody idea can tell me what's going on. So I started doing my own research. I found a blog post.

I wish that I knew the name of the woman that wrote the blog. I would send her so many gifts to this day. But she wrote a blog that said 10 symptoms, you might, or 10 signs, you might have a gluten intolerance. And I hid every one of those marks. So I stopped eating gluten. And that was the beginning of my health journey. And all of that leads to the mindset work because I actually went on to go make intuitive decisions to get a health coaching certification and then to go further into it to get behavioral change and trauma and mindset certifications to really understand why we do the things that we do and why we make the decisions that we make. And it just catapulted me into wanting to learn and understand us as people and how we exist and how we make decisions and how all.

all the things that happen in our life create these illusions about what's next for us. And I started talking about these things online. And I started doing Facebook lives. And I started showing up. And it's kind of like one thing led to another. And I had to keep paying attention and tuning in and going along that growth path. That's awesome. You know, it's very interesting because it just seems like obviously this gluten intolerance you've had at your entire life.

Right. You know, you've had it in your entire life, but you know, these little things that happened, but just didn't understand it because people also didn't understand like doctors didn't understand that this was causing anything. I'm very familiar with this because my wife about four years ago, like her hair started falling out. Yeah. So you get like how. She started. Yeah. Like it's insane. He started doing all these things. She literally, she went in to get tested and they said that her thyroid was like at an eight. Oh my goodness. I mean, it was like so low and they're like, we're glad you came in because you might not have lasted that much long. Like her thyroid was almost dead. She found out that she was hypo and has Hashimoto's. Wow. And so, you know, they gave her this prescription. She started taking that prescription and it started messing other things up in her body.

So she actually just did research. She found out that if she just went gluten free that things clean up the gut, clean up. Yep. And then she stopped taking the medicine. and she just went gluten-free and now she's better. When you were talking about that journey, I've lived it with my wife. She's gone through this.

And it's just amazing because even like her, like I feel like she has more clarity. I feel like she's now starting to become a fitness coach. So it's like these changes educate you and they encourage you to want to reach out and educate other people because of the breakthroughs that you have. So it completely makes sense. Absolutely. because you really shift from powerless. Like, I am not the first person or the last person that will say this.

If you don't have your health, nothing else matters. And you guys had four kids when she was going through this. Like, that's a lot. If you don't have your health, nothing else matters. But when you can go from understanding your body in a way you never have before, you can shift from feeling completely powerless to completely powerful. And that, you can't unsee that. It forces you to see yourself differently and start to look.

at how you're really showing up to all areas of your life and how you're allowing yourself to experience everything that you're going through. It's wild what it does. Yeah, it's been great. And yeah, I think I think the thing that's hard is she was already a pescatarian. So you add she'd seafood, she eats vegetables and then she's also gluten-free. It's like, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to go to eat anywhere because you're not able to find anything. Like now at least, you know, they put the GF everywhere, like you said. But like before, she was like on these apps and the websites weren't that great. It was like trying to fit.

It was like looking at code, trying to figure out, you know, how to make us something or figure out a place that sells the stuff. Yeah. And a lot of times they don't even, I know she knows how this feels. Me and your wife could probably talk for hours about this. You go into a restaurant and you know almost immediately when you ask a question and they're like, oh, yeah, maybe that they don't actually know if it's gluten-free or not. you're like, yeah, but I really can't eat this. It's going to wreck my body if I do. I need to know

if this is safe. Like just having to navigate that is work sometimes. Absolutely. So let's talk a little bit about the show. So you've got a show and the show is helping people out in these similar areas, being high performers with mindset. So can you talk a little bit about how your show is framed out or you do solo episodes? I know you bring on guests as well. So how does that work? How long if you had it and then where can people find it? Yeah, hopefully one day I'll come on there when your schedule isn't so busy. I will be on there. I do both.

I do solo episodes every other week and they're really short. I believe that we don't need to overload the information that we take in. Like I can't tell you how many times I have the conversations with high performing people that want to do good and want to do better in life and their list of books that they feel like they have to read this quarter is like, are you going to have time to do anything else? So I want short condensed information because I don't think it has to be a lot. So the two episodes that I do solo every month are like 10, 15 minutes top. And then I also do two interviews a month with people, people like you, people who have built

companies, people who are growing teams, people who are really doing this work and have conscious awareness to the mindset that plays into how they're growing their business and the importance of it. Some people don't really want to pay attention to it and that's fine. They just want to go scale and make tons and tons of money and not have these conversations. And that's all right. But I like to have the real conversations to understand what we actually experience and how we go through things and how we become the people that we've become. Yeah. Very similar to like you do.

Listen, it's important to first off be able to have that self-awareness, right, of how we're showing up. and then knowing how to manage ourselves. And, you know, it really plays in a lot of emotional intelligence. And it's super important, like, especially in 2021, now more than ever, it's really important that we understand how we show up to the world, you know? And what do we do now that we understand it, like, how are we actually using certain things that we can do to help us if we're straying away from that? Right.

How are we applying it? 100%. Because again, like you said, you can read all the books in the world, right? But if you're not taking action on that information, right? That's super important. And I think when you can get things dialed in from the inside out, you're operating at such a high level. Right. You know, you're showing up as your best self or at least as a better version than you were yesterday.

And that's really, that's really should be the goal. Exactly. I think there's a little bit of energy and the self-developed. then, high performing mindset world. It can almost feel like dangling something in front of you. Like you continuously feel like you have to be more, you have to be more, you have to be more. And I just, I don't believe that self-growth has to be that way. I don't believe that we have to wake up every day and start from zero until we prove to ourselves that we're enough. I don't think that that's really how we're supposed to be feeling every day as people.

We're not supposed to be feeling empty and trying to make this proving nature and angst and frustration and doing everything from a place of emptiness. We're supposed to also enjoy the fulfillment that we are here to enjoy. You know, you're supposed to enjoy the time with your kids that you have. You're supposed to enjoy the money that you make. You're supposed to enjoy being able to give back more. And I think the high performing world sometimes has a challenging approach in this force energy that, can lead to burnout. It really can just lead to so many people burning out and not really being aware of how

they're pushing themselves the way that they are. Yeah. If the structure of your life isn't based on, you know, your values, right, things that you care about. If it's not based on setting boundaries, you know, I think boundaries are a big thing that I think all of us have to work on when you can recognize that you need to work on it. And again, it's just like the other thing, you start to actually take action on making making these decisions and making conscious changes, you know, that's where the real impact

begins to happen. Absolutely. So if the listeners are out there or if they watch, you know, this video and they say, you know what, I love what Mallory was saying. I think that she might be able to help me out. You know, are there any programs like that you have now that you want to talk about are ones anything launching here in the future or just plug the best way to find you and connect with you and I'll make sure we link it all on the show notes as well. Yeah, absolutely. I always start

everyone with just an email conversation to be like super honest. I handle all of my email and I think that that's the best way that I found to just start with people because sometimes it can take a little bit of deeper conversation to understand like, is this mindset stuff or is this something else? And that is the most important thing to me is just to not assume that everybody that's struggling with something is going through a mindset thing, but it's to really diagnose, okay, yeah, these are the things that we could work on together. These are the things that are showing up for you in your business and the things that you're desiring are not matching up with your reality right now. And here's why. So I love talking to people starting that conversation over an email and setting up a first

call to just really dig further and deeper to have more of an understanding of if it makes sense for us to do a little bit of work together. And if not, and if it doesn't, you know, having a resource for them also in whatever area they might need help in. You know, their marketing might be completely broken in their business. And they're telling themselves that it's a mindset problem, but it's not. It's that their marketing needs to be fixed. And I am just a big believer that it's really important to diagnose problems with the right solution before taking any further steps.

Awesome, awesome. Well, we'll make sure we get all of your info plugged in and, you know, keep blazing your own trail. You're doing amazing to be able to come back from. the adversity that you faced and now you're showing up and you're helping other people break through their barriers. What an amazing role to have. And thank you so much for coming on the show. Yeah, thank you for having me.