Blaze Your Own Trail - S3:E5- From Rock Bottom to the "Gordon Ramsey" of the Addiction World with Dr. Robb Kelly

Episode Date: January 11, 2021

Robb Kelly, PhD is a world-renowned addiction consultant who believes in treating the problem of addiction, not the symptoms. He has worked for many years helping addicts and alcoholics to RECOVER their lives from the disease of addiction. Based on his own experiences working with addicts and alcoholics over the last 20 years, a PhD in Psychology from Oxford University and as a recovered alcoholic himself – he is a triple threat against the disease of addiction. Dr. Kelly was the CEO of a thriving telecommunications company when the walls came crashing down on him due to alcoholism. He ended up homeless and broken on the streets of Manchester, England until he found the courage to save himself. Since recovering, Dr. Kelly has made it his life’s mission to assist other hopeless, chronic alcoholics and addicts. His story is inspiring and sad at times, but it stands as a testament to the power of recovery. He has lectured at many high-profile universities and hospitals about addiction and is recognized as a leading authority on addiction recovery methods that are changing lives. Dr. Kelly is currently the CEO of the Robb Kelly Recovery Group, an addiction recovery coaching company he created based on extensive research and behaviour studies that he conducted over the last 20 years. Dr. Kelly’s methods may seem unconventional and unorthodox leading some people to refer to him as "The Gordon Ramsay of the Addiction World" because of his direct, no-nonsense, and candid approach to treating addiction. Dr. Kelly works to "make the road of recovery less of a mystery tour." In this episode we discuss: Robb's upbringing His musical background His first sip of Beer What he did after School Where he went to College His Rock Bottom Moment A person he met that doesn't exist Moving to the states Why he wrote his book What he does today And more! Connect with Dr. Robb: Website: https://robbkelly.com/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/the-addiction-doctor-07718133/ Connect with Jordan: Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordanjmendoza/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/jordanjmendoza/ Do you need help with your Marketing & Sales Strategies? Let's talk! https://linktr.ee/impulseconsulting Installing strategic sales systems & processes will stop the constant revenue rollercoaster you might be facing which is attainable through our 6 Week Blazing Business Revenue Coaching ProgramBook a discovery call with Jordan now to learn more! Are you an entrepreneur?Join my FREE Group Coaching Community where we have live calls, Q&A and more! Our Trailblazer Ecosystem also enables you to network with other entrepreneurs and creator hub eliminates multiple subscriptions and logins creating a one stop shop to take action!Use code: FOUNDING100 for 12 months access FREE and Founding pricing for life! (While Supplies Last)Join now! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Are you ready to find out how to blaze your own trail? Welcome to the Blaze Her Own Trail podcast with your host, Jordan Mendoza. In this podcast, Jordan interviews people from around the world to find out about their journey to success. If you are looking for valuable content with actionable advice, you've come to the right place. And now your host, Jordan Mendoza. Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. I'm your host Jordan Mendoza and I've got a very special guest today. His name is Dr. Rob Kelly and I'm going to give him just a second to let everyone know who he is and what he does.

Good morning, guys. Morning, Jordan. I'm on Dr. Rob Kelly. I specialize in addiction, especially alcoholism and drug addiction. Been in the industry for about 27 years and love every many of it, love helping addicts and alcoholics and love helping the families. That's what I do for a living these days and life could not be better. Awesome. Well, I do appreciate that intro. On my show, one thing I love to do is really get context into people's journey.

Although you've been doing this for a long time, 27 years, you haven't always been doing this. So let's give the audience, let's rewind a little bit. Let's take it back. Where were you born and raised? And let's give the audience some context on, you know, where you grew up, how were you as a kid? Were you into sports? Were you more into academics? Let's get some context here.

I brought up in Manchester, United Kingdom. Now reside in San Antonio, Texas. I've been here for 13 years. But going back to Manchester, just born to a working class family. I was a musician and an early age. So by the age of 9 or 10, I'm actually thrown onto stage with my auntie and uncle. So I have a musical family.

So nine years old, I'm thrown on stage and playing clubs every Friday and Saturday night. It was just awesome. You know, getting paid. I'm the richest kid in our school. I know that for a fact. I also took my first drink when I was nine years old because I was a very nervous kid.

And my uncle said, try this beer, It'll be good. I down this beer, like, it was just phenomenal. It changed my life right there and then. So schooling was okay. I was just drinking weekends. I was a session musician at a local recording studio when we used to have to play instruments to make jingles. Not these days, it's on a computer. I was a jingle maker for TV and radio. When I was 16, I applied for a job at Abbey Road Studios in London, famous for the vehicles. So I have done sessions with Elton John, David Bowie, Queen, all them guys. And I also put myself to a university from the money that I earned from that. So I actually went to Oxford University and graduated from there.

And then into my adult life. But my alcohol is that I'd already taken off by then, but I didn't know it. And this is the crazy part about my life and my story is I didn't know I had a problem with alcohol until it was way, way, way too late. So nothing crazy about my upbringing, nothing crazy about what I did. Not really into sports. Now I played soccer, but not really good at it. It played rugby, not fantastic.

Music was my forte. You know, I always got A plus in music and was in bands all through my teenage years, was traveling across the country playing in bands, and just wanted to become a professional musician with dreams of selling multi-platinum albums and just being a superstar, but it wasn't to be. I was a guy behind the scenes. Awesome. Well, hey, I appreciate you sharing that content.

So let's go back a little bit. So age nine, you're on stage. So what instrument are you playing an instrument? Are you singing? What are you doing as part of this band? when it all first started. I'm a bass player by trade. Okay.

That's what I session in. That's what I play. Today I can play anything. You know, everybody's got a niche that they can do. Mine's music. So I picked the bagpipes at once, and in like five minutes, I'm playing it to everyone's amazing. But that's just my thing.

So I played on bass as a kid, and then into my teens, I was always playing bass. Then into my 30s and 40s, I swapped over and played drums and keyboards and then guitar. But bass guitar was my instrument. And the funny thing is, or the weird thing is, I was a very shy kid, but as soon as I stuck a bass guitar around my neck, it was like I was hanging behind something. I could be somebody that I really wasn't.

And I think I took to that because I could say I was very shy as a kid. Never really felt that I fit in. Never had a lot of friends, one or two close friends, still the same today. So yeah, bass guitar was my baby. That is awesome. And so you casually name drop some pretty amazing names. So what was that experience like being able to not only meet, but just be surrounding yourself with some of these icons in the music industry.

Well, it was phenomenal. I wasn't always with them. Sometimes session musicians, if face players can't play, for whatever reason, family holidays, sickness, drug addiction, for instance, not saying them guys did. I'm just saying that's when I would stand in. But the times I did make people were just phenomenal. I mean, everyone's really nice to me. I remember going back to, we was playing with Session with Elton, John,

and we went back to the Savoy Hotel in London, to the Penthouse suite. It was pouring down with rain. and it was windy and it was a horrible night. So we piled into the hotel and up to the Penn Townsweet and were cocaineing and alcohol and everything was flowing. All of a sudden I hear Elton in the other room and he's screaming down the phone at this poor reception girl. So I watch into the bedroom and like, Elton, what are you doing?

And he says, I went the phone to reception and I heard it and he's screaming to the receptionist that if she doesn't stop the rain and the wind in the next 15 minutes, he will never book into that hotel ever again. So there were kind of the crazy incidents that we used to be up again. Wow. And here I am. I'm a guy telling people that the only thing that we can't control is the weather.

Right? We can control our attitude. We can control the decision we make. But we just can't control the weather. That's one of the things that we can't. So very interesting story. So what happened next? So you went to school and just to give the audience a little bit of context there.

Did you already have it in mind what you wanted to go to school? school for? Did you know that you wanted to become a doctor or did you just, you obviously earned money on your own to be able to pay for this? So what was it that you decided to study in school? There was alcoholism in my family that I didn't understand. At a young age, probably 17, 18, they took me to the doctors and the doctor said they think to have a drinking problem. But nobody knew what a drinking problem was and nobody knew what an alcoholic was. I knew that the mind was very fascinating and the brain would be a subject to study. So that's what I did. Not necessarily going into the brain and neuroplasticity, but just in general, the mind. So later, after I became homeless, I then went back and I picked

up my tools and I started really to study second PhD in behavioral science. So I was intrigued with the alcoholic brain or the evicted brain of can we understand more? What's the best treatment for it? And can we recover from this stuff after? So that's why I studied what I studied. Okay, so let me just ask you a quick question. Were you homeless after graduating school or was after? So this was, you get the first degree. How did that happen? Because I think it wouldn't be a good thing to not give this context for the audience.

So what was it that brought you from graduating school at Oxford to now you're homeless? It was over a year or so or a couple of years. I was drinking pretty heavily. Come out of the college, went straight in the police force. Still not sure why I did that. I was a freemason at the time. That's how I got into Oxford. The police was like a normal stuff for me.

I only lasted a few months and they fired me for being on duty. So then I fed to a telecom company when we're building masks and telecoms for the Army and Navy and then later on for the first mobile phones that came out. So I was drinking almost every day by then because I'm earning a lot of money. You know, I'm earning like hundreds of thousands of dollars a year. I mean it was phenomenal. So I bought the house. I got married.

I still drinking every day, but not a problem. Nobody complained about it. My wife was happy living in a big house, driving big cars. And then we had our first child and I swore I'd never drink again after the first child. I was there at birth when the first child was born, a baby girl. I swore to my wife that I'd never drink again. That was it. And four hours later, I found myself drunk in a bar somewhere and thought, oh my goodness, but never really thought too much about it, carried on drinking. We had the second child. Now this was it. The second child, we had a dog, two kids, a mortgage, two cars. Everything

was like the family. On the birth of the second child, I took two Bibles to the whole. hospital. And after the second child was born, I put my hand up for the Bibles, and I said, I swear in front of God and everybody else that I'll never drink alcohol ever again, I'll be an ideal father. Six hours later, I'm drunk, thinking, okay, well, it's not a huge problem. So, slowly, but surely, things started to go really wrong, really quick, like very, very quickly. I remember some crazy stuff I did. The girls were about one and three by now, and I'm coming down the stairs one day and by this time I'm full on alcohol. By this time I'm going into DTs if I don't get alcohol in my body. So I'll come downstairs and I'm searching for a vodka

that I know I've left somewhere and I find it. I grab the bottle, put it on the side, kitchen counter for a second. I turn around to get a crystal glass and here's the insanity of alcohol. I'm not drinking out the bottle because that would mean I'm an alcoholic at 3 o'clock in the morning, but I'm getting a crystal glass to make sure that everything's okay. So as I'm turning around to get the crystal glass, my wife come behind it because she'd follow me downstairs in the middle of the night and she snapped the bottle up the side of the counter and she said to me, Rob, I think you've had enough. That's thinking about that for a second. It's probably the fourth bottle in 24, 30 hours. I should have gone back to bed and thanked her

and slept until seven got up and went to work. But I didn't. I took a kitchen knife out and I stabbed her three times and then she hit the floor blood pouring out. I call the ambulance and then I called a cab. I got to the airport as quick as possible and I flew to Spain. I stayed there for about three or four months until she swore to me, she would press charges. Then I came back home and when I got home, she packed all the cases and she said, I'm leaving you and she left with my kids. And I got into my attorney and I said, I need my kids back tomorrow. I'll give you 25,000 pounds if you make it happen. And he did. The next day, I brought my kids around and I brought him in, I was so happy and I sat him in front of the TV and, you know, it's like, you can't take my kids off

me, you don't know who I am. And I went into the kitchen and the thought hit me just to have one drink to celebrate. The kids coming home. Three days later, when the police kicked the door down, I'm unconscious on the floor. The babies had been changed, diapers or fed for three days. They were almost starving to them. They took my kids off me. They kicked me until he woke me up and they served him with papers. They were taking my eldest out and she said three things to me. And she said, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, please don't go. And then she says, Daddy, Daddy, please get better. and at the end of the path as they open the gates

you turn around one more time and she says Daddy Daddy please stop drinking and I couldn't do it six months after she said that I'd lost the houses the cars the business the kids the wife

parents won't speak to me brother and sister you saw me and I ended up on the streets wow that's so powerful so powerful so this was rock bottom as far down in the pit

as you could get you'd seen it and I think from what I heard as you're saying the words that your daughter was saying it seems like something was finally getting through. There was something that finally was able to get past the blockers that you had up for yourself. What happened next after these massively painful, probably crazy from your perspective,

situations that went down because for a lot of people, that would be full on breaking point. And it sounds like just knowing what I know about where you are today, that you had to have taken some action. So I'd love to hear what was that. action that you took? Well, I was on the streets for about 14 months. There was six suicide attempts, two of them successful. She died on the streets and they brought me back on two occasions. So it was lonely. I was abandoned on the streets. Nobody would speak to me. All my family and friends turned back. It was cold. I slept in bus shelters. I slept under bushes. I slept in cardboard boxes,

soaking wet, freezing cold. Sometimes I wouldn't eat for days, if not weeks. I dropped about 150 pounds. I was starving to death on the streets. I didn't want to live. I just wanted to die. So I tried to commit suicide six times, like I said. Two occasions were successful, but the other four people saved me. People jumped on train tracks and pulled me off. People grabbed me from jumping off a building. It was just insane that I kept thinking of myself, I can't die.

But here's the crazy thing, Jordan, still not thinking I had a problem with alcohol. Just thinking that I was going through some bad luck. And as the days and the mons carried on, I knew that I was never going to get off the streets. I'd resign to the fact I'm going to die on the streets. And that was fine. There was nothing left for me. I love that my kids have gone, my wife have gone. So I'm walking down the street about 4 o'clock in the morning,

pouring down with the brain. I have no shoes on my feet. Somebody stolen the night before. I was drunk unconscious on the street. And I dropped down to my hands and knees, and I started to cry from my belly, sobbing, crying, crying, crying, like I've never cried before. Our hands and knees is pouring down.

I'm soaking wet and freezing and done. I remember looking up to the sky, and I said that if there's a god up there, I can't do this on my own anymore. And about 30 seconds later, a guy walked around the corner who missed his last bus home. So he walked about three or four hours in the rain himself. Asked me, do I want help? And I said, yes.

It took me back to his house. He let me back, Dave, you give me some clean clothes. How much journey started there? Never knowing, by the way, that would end up where I am now. I can't even imagine, you know, what the thought process was like. because you're talking about 14 months. And I'm sure that when people start a journey of homelessness, every day seems way longer than 24 hours.

You know, so I can't even imagine how much time it felt like had passed, especially, you know, the thoughts that you're having about, your family's gone, friends are gone, nobody's here, nobody cares. It had to have been tough. I love the part of the story where you said, you just laid it all out. It was almost a point of surrender where you just said, you know, if there's a god out there, show me a sign, show me something. And here comes this

stranger soaking wet, walking in the same rain that you've been walking in. I mean, you want to talk about serendipitous moments? Yeah. I mean, that had to have felt like, okay, there's something here. But do you know the crazy part? That's not the craziest part. The craziest part was about two, three months later. What happened was this guy said I can stay his house, but I need to go to A&MAT's with him because it's an alcoholic as well, which blew my mind. So I knew something was happened. So I went to this meeting. I hate meetings. I used to hate them completely. But halfway across people just telling war stories and no help to me. I'm sat there bored thinking I've got to sit it out because it's a place to stay tonight. I didn't want to go back

to the streets. So I heard the guy share halfway around, which was 12 o'clock to me right in front of me. And he said, my name's John. I'm recovered alcohol. And I thought, well, that's weird. How can you recover from alcoholism? That's weird. I don't remember he made white hair and a white being peaceful looking guy. So I've done a meeting. I walked over to him and said, hey, can you help me? Will you sponsor me? And he said, no, but I'll be your spiritual advisor for a period of eight weeks. Like, okay, what are we going to do is, we're going to read the big book of Alcoholics and Anonymous, and we're going to look for certain words, and we're going to understand it better. Then we're going to do the 12 steps in two days. I said, okay, what do we need to do?

So he lived about 15 miles away from where I was staying with a friend, and I had no bus fare, so I got my book and I got a dictionary. Tell me to print a dictionary. I'm like, really? I like to Oxford. I don't need a dictionary. And he said, just bring one. I said, okay. So I walked to his house. It took me about an hour and 15 minutes. Every Wednesday he would go. And we'd go there. And then he'd tell me, give me some homework. And I'd go back and I'd mark all this stuff off with different colored

highlighter pen and stuff he told me to look for. And I did it for eight weeks. On the eighth week, he took me through the steps in two days. And they had the spiritual awakening, the psychic change that the book talks about, which really means because of my research, that your DNA changes. So I wasn't the same person. So I knew that if I continued to do what I do, my life would take off. But even more importantly, I would never drink again.

And he showed me some stuff in the book that was just God-given as far as I'm concerned. So off I went, said bye-bye to him, give him a big hug. About two or three weeks later, I was going to AA and working with people and people getting well. It's like I found something in this book and nobody else had seen. It was phenomenal. So after two or three weeks, I got my first part-time job. I moved into a halfway house. So now I'm standing my own two feet.

So I went to the gas station. I bought him a little card and a little teddy bear. I don't know why I bought in a teddy bear. It's the only thing I could afford, I think. And I did the same walk back to his apartment. And when I got there, I'm banging on the door, and there's nobody in. I'm like, he must have moved out or something. I banged that hard, and the next door neighbor come out on the right hand side.

And she said, can I help you? And I said, can you tell him where John was relocated to? And she said, there's been no one that apartment for at least six months I didn't because I've been here six months. There's nobody lives there. So I said, okay, thank you, thinking she's weird. She closed the door, so I walked around to the other side and knocked on the guy came to the door? And he said, can you tell me where John's relocated to? And he said, I've been living in this apartment for a year and joined that year. There's been nobody in that apartment ever. I know that for a fact. I could never find that guy. I went back to the meeting,

I met him and nobody in that meeting. Nobody recollect seeing him or been speaking to anybody. And there where my journey starts off and self was phenomenal. Wow. How amazing is that, right? And so to this day, who is he? Sounds like a guardian angel if I've ever heard of one, right? I mean, this is somebody that was the foundation for you being able to recover yourself and showing you how to help other people, right?

How to be a fissure of men in that sense and showing people what you've done. If I were someone that wanted to work with you, I think the thing that would resonate with me the most is the fact that you have been as far as they will fall. Right. You have been there. And so for one, there's no one that can be yes you. Right. In any part of the process of their journey because you can be like, bro, I've been there. You know what I'm saying? Like I've been that far down. After that happened. So now you're helping other people. You're growing. You've got a part time job. You're in a half for a house. When was that next big shift that took you from there to now you're making some big things happen? Probably about a year when I was living in the Hathaway House, just going around to meetings, helping people, just being a service to other people. My part-time job turned into a full-time job.

And then I went to work for a telecoms company myself, earned a bit more money, moved into my own apartment, bought myself a little car. And I was doing great. I was very confined because I was only in Manchester, England. It's very small, as opposed to Texas now. I think you can fit England in Texas about nine times, I think. So it's only on a small scale.

So I get an email from a church in Pennsylvania. plane or near Dallas saying they've heard some of the work, I don't know how they heard, they've heard some of the work that I do, and would I be able to come over there to Dallas, Texas, and work with their youth ministry for a period of two weeks because they have a big crack cocaine problem in the affluent areas. I was so excited. He's like, America, go to America? Oh my goodness. So I forgot about this, Jordan. You're going to hear something that I've never shared. Oh my God, this is going to be awesome. So I said yes, of course. So they put me in touch with this lady and we started to communicate via email.

So all of a sudden, my airplane tickets came to the door and it was about four weeks before I was going to go. So I was so excited. I was getting everything ready for two-week journey, packing all my stuff. And a week before I was due to fly, I got my passport out and it expired by two days. And it's like, I know for a fact that you cannot get a passport in the UK less than four weeks. If you express it through, it's four weeks. usually three to four months. And I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe this. So I jumped on the bus, I went down to Liverpool, which is 35 miles from Manchester. So a couple of hours, I'm filling

out all the paperwork. I've got my photographs from my passport. I put it in and it says, can I expedite. And he said, well, you can, but it's going to be a month. So I'll fly to America next week. And he said, there's no way you're going to get it. I'm sorry. So you're miles of don't expedite it. Just put it through. You're going to waste 60 pound. So I put it in and just, I was so sad, man. I come back home. I thought, I'll wait till the day before I call America and say, hey, I'm sorry, a passport hasn't come.

Two days before I go, there was a knock at the door. I opened the door, and it was a postman there with a delivered envelope. I have to sign for a registered mail, so I signed for it to give it to me. It was my passport. Allow me to get on the plane the next day to come here. When I came and landed in DFW,

I stepped onto the tarmac and a very strong thought coming to my head. that this was my new home, and I would never go back to England to live again. And that was the case. Two weeks later, after I finished, I met somebody, and, you know, we started to work together, and I opened a practice, and before New York Day was, I'm a green card holder, and the rest is history. That's just crazy.

So the guy told you not to expedite it because it would take a month. So here you are reluctantly turning it in under the regular status. Right. And all of a sudden, the thing shows up. And this was how many weeks before the trip? Oh, it was two days. Two days. Two days.

The passport turned up. A week before, I fight back, that, it was outdated. That's right. So it's supposed to take a month. It took less than a week. Yeah. Shows up at your dang door. I mean, again, another serendipitous moment.

In hearing these different stories and details, my friend, there is no doubt in my mind that you are in the place you're supposed to be. At the time you're supposed to be there, doing the work that you're supposed to be doing. You talk about a calling, like, If that's not a calling, I don't know a calling. I've had a few of them as well, but even the plane flight over here, there was about seven people on the plane. I don't know why. They just was.

The guys came through from first class and said, hey, guys, do you want to come to sit first class? So I actually flew over it first class because it was nobody on a plane. So it was like everything was starting to work out. And then when I got here, I was only here a month, and I got approached by a company that makes addiction DVDs for prisons, institutions, and training centers. and I signed a deal with them for a large amount of money to do four DVDs.

And we did it in Austin, Texas. And it took like three days to shoot. And all of a sudden, I'm in America, six weeks. I've got a bunch of money. I've got a chance to buy a car, buy a flat, buy an apartment, and start living the dream. And that's what I do today. I'm just living the dream instead of dreaming of living. Because that's all I used to do.

So, yeah, been a crazy journey. That's awesome. And I would love to hear, and I'm sure the audience would be, been interested in this as well is, you know, how's the relationship now with family, with the folks that, you know, there was a ton of turmoil. There was, in my opinion, hearing the journey, a completely different person than you were back then, right? Has there been some healing in that aspect? So glad you asked me that question. Didn't see my daughter for 20-something years. My oldest one, nobody would speak to me. 18 months ago, I got a message on Facebook saying, hey, dad, I want to speak to

you, I've missed you, I'm sorry I'm not getting contact. It was shocking. I was in tears when I read it. It was like 4 o'clock in the morning as well. I had I been in a gullet and I'm waking my wife up and I said, you've seen this, if you've seen this. Which I've framed, I've pinned it off and framed it. So we started dialogue because of that, starting dialogue with my sister,

then started dialogue with Mom and Death, and then started dialogue with my brother. So last year, I went over to see my daughter and my dad. and my sister and I've held my granddaughter who was one year old at the time so relationships have been healed and it's just, it's amazing but when I look back at my life

now, I was angry for a long time on the street because I was put me putting through this stuff. A lot of my kids, I live in rock, blah blah blah you know and all this crazy stuff but when I look back now I realized that that was like a semester at Harvard

the information, the experience and the knowledge I have of the alcoholic and addicts suffering to the highest extent and doesn't necessarily have to become homeless but the bottom in the heart and in the brain. We think of a lady four years ago who's now four years over that her bottom was in a $5,000 and night penthouse suite drinking thousand dollars of champagne and she was broken and done. I remember walking into the suite opening the door and she was on her hands and knees vomiting and it took me right back to when I was on my hands and knees on the streets. So one of the reasons why I do this today and I work with people so aggressively, we have a 97% successful. Other people have 3 and 4%

because this isn't a job. This is a passion for us. It really is. And I just love what's happened to me. I won't change anything, Jordan. That's the crazy thing. People say, say, what would you change? Would you change a homelessness? Would you have stayed with your kids? It's like, no, no, I want to change anything. I'm a better father today. I'm a better son and I'm a better brother today. I'm definitely a better husband today.

But it took all that for me to be here. And the other thing he asked me as well is, if you were to win $10 million, but you can't work with another alcoholic again, what would you choose? And I will say you could keep your $10 million. I need to work with the people that need to get well. it's like a passion and a lifelong dream come to fruition.

And I've been living this life now, really for the last six years since I met my current life. We have a great relationship and we run the business and we employ lots of great people. It's just every day is a miracle. That's amazing. I definitely love that. And I wrote a quote. I think it was sometime last year, you know, I just have things popping in my head sometimes

and I get out my phone and I get out my notes section. And you know, you just start typing, you know, and I remember I showed it to my wife and I said hey read this really quick I'm thinking about posting this on LinkedIn I love inspiration I love things like that and she reads it she looks to me she says this sounds exactly like you I was like good because I wrote it and the quote I think my friend actually I think it'll resonate with you a lot and what it was is I said that the struggle might be real but the good news is that every struggle has a free gift called a lesson right and the lessons that we learn and again it's crucial that we learn from them. That's one of the biggest things is people are like, yeah, I went through this

and now I'm moving forward, but it's like, did you actually get the deposit you were supposed to get from that lesson, right? Because that's the only way that we can move forward. That's the only way that we can create the momentum that we need to get the results that we want. Unbelievable. I love that. Absolutely love it. I hear that so many times is like, you know, so many failures come along and the people are successful, the lessons from them failures. You don't take it as a rejection. you take it as a challenge. So what can I do differently? How can I add something?

I mean, you look at some of the great guys in history, you know, inventions. I mean, you would turn down so many times. The Beatles will turn down so many times. They never make a record ever. They will never make one record that's been successful. And yet, look what happened. There's so many people.

I mean, look at Oprah. You know, they fired her from a local studio because she didn't have a face for television. I mean, can you imagine if all them guys took it on face value and really took that to heart, then we don't miss that on a bunch of stuff that changed most people's life. For me, it's self-belief. It's self-belief. It's self-dialogue. Very important to me.

I remember having dinner, lunch or something. A good friend of mine, Gordon Ramsey, was starting his kitchen and we're chatting away. And he said to me, he said, Hey, Rob, do you know, I'm the best chef in the world? And I said, hell, yeah, because you can cook really well. He says, I don't know if I'm the best, but I tell everybody I am. Mind blown. Oh, my God. Mind blown. It's like, I'm the best addictionologist in the world. I'm the best addiction guy in the world. It gives me confidence. It gives others confidence. and the belief and I do what I say it does on the 10th. Let's do it. Let's do this stuff. You know, anybody can be anybody. And people always just say to me, yeah, Robert, I can't be

president. Well, excuse me, we've just been proven that you can. A businessman has become the president of the United States, not a political leader, a businessman. So don't sit there in your department somewhere giving up and saying, I can't do this. It's impossible. Get an apostrophe and put it behind the end. And it becomes impossible. And it's as simple as that. You know, your dreams are out there waiting for you. And I was told, stop being selfish, Rob. People are waiting for you to get them well, to work with them, to guarantee the counter cover. So start believing in what I've taught you. Start believing in the lessons that you've learned in life and start taking charge of your life. And that's what I did. And I've never

looked back. It's like I've worked with someone the biggest movie stars, footballers and rock stars in the world ever and have taken him from a place of destruction with the help of God and the lessons and psychology to one of the biggest stars in the world because self-belief is very important. It's like show me your friends and I'll show you your future. With people we hang around and the people that influence is most that we become there. And I didn't know this until I started to hang around with a girl in Dallas. And she used to always say, shut up, bring us crazy voice. And within four or five weeks of me hanging around with her, I started to say that.

And my wife pointed out and I'm like, oh my God, we become our friends. And it's very important that we know that. I once got told, you know, many years ago, how much do you earn? I said, I've earned 60 grand in a year, but I wanted to be earning a hundred grand a year. And this guy said to him, or start hanging around the guys that earn 100 grand. And it's this stuff and these lessons in life and learning, buying your mistakes, and taking that lesson like you just said from it. I'm moving forward and not taking it as a rejection, but taking it as a challenge to go to the next person.

So they told me that if you do 10 people, nine are going to say no and one's probably going to say yes. That's the statistics in the sales force out there. So when I get a no, I go, okay, eight to go. I get another no. Okay, seven to go. Because I know it's going to be a yes. That's it, man. I really, really love that message.

And it's so funny how similar we are in thinking as far as that mindset because I look at the word no as an acronym, right? No doesn't mean no. It just means next opportunity. Right. It means that there's another opportunity out there. And I used to do door to door sales. When I was 14 years old, I had to go into neighborhoods and knock on 100 doors a day. And I remember that first day when everybody told me no.

And I wanted to give up and I was on the curb, you know, mad because nobody wanted to buy a newspaper. No one wanted to sign up for the newspaper. But I learned a very, very good lesson that night when I was settling up. And the distributor said to me, he said, listen, I know it was hard out there, but I'm going to tell you something. And hopefully this will make sense down the road. And what he said was the sale doesn't start until the customer says no. I remember, looking at him and I said, that's the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

Can you please take me home? Three or four years later, when I became a sales trainer and a guy walks in, he had a tough day out in the field, I looked at him and I said that very thing. I said, listen, you may not understand this now, but the sale doesn't start until the customer says no. And it's so beautiful when you really think about it because as human beings, as you know, we are trained by the word no. When you're a kid, it's, hey, no, don't touch the stove. Yes. No, don't do this.

No, you can't have candy. Don't talk to strangers, right? So we're almost trained to say no so that when anyone ever approaches us in a sales environment, it's no. Even you think about go to the grocery store. Hey, do you need help, sir? No, right? That's our natural instinct. Yes.

And a no doesn't mean no. It just means that they need more information. Yeah. Right? Most sales cycles aren't an instant. It takes seven or eight touch points to get the yes. Yes. Amazing.

I love that. I want to give people context on your book. I want to also give people some resources on where they can find you because I know that people are going to listen to this episode. I know for me, even if this never got posted, I got so much value. out of this, right? I learned so much from your story and your journey, so I know there's going to people that hear this and they want to reach you. Let's hear a little bit about the book and then let's give some ways for people to find you out on social media. You seem like

such a down-to-earth guy that loves having conversations with people. I do. Interesting book title. Last thing my daughter said to me, it's called Daddy Daddy Daddy, Please Stop Drinking. It's available only on Amazon. So go in there, plug it in. Or go to the website, Robcally.com, two bees, R-O-B-B-B-K. e-l-o-y-l-y-l-y-com. The box on there, the information is on there, the phone numbers on there. If you want more information

than that, go to Google, put my name in there, Dr. Rob Kelly, and all the stuff will come up. You'll find all the platforms that you need to find. And listen,

I've enjoyed the show that much that I was going to give a phone number out of my staff or my reception or my PA. What I'm going to do is I'm going to give my personal phone number out. So if you're struggling or if you're feeling down, it doesn't have to be alcohol or drugs,

just feeling down. I'll give you a 10-minute pet talk that will change your life, period. So here's my personal phone number, guys. And if you call, I don't answer or it goes to voicemail, it means I'm talking to somebody else. Leave a message, I will call you back. 214-600-0-210.

That's 214-600-0-2-10. Call me. We'll have a chat. Don't it cost you anything. It's for me and you talking on the phone to say, hey, I listen to Jordan Mendoza is awesome. In fact, that's the key word. I listen to Jordan Mendoza.

Just say that. I know you're one of these guys and listeners. And I will spend some time with you. And believe me, it will change your life forever. Well, hey, listen, my friend, I think you have changed my life just getting to know you over this last 40 minutes or so. I really appreciate you being vulnerable. Listen, there's some things that you talked about that aren't easy.

You know, I'm holding back the tears listening to this conversation. So I know the audience is going to get value. I really appreciate you taking the time coming on the Blaz Your Own Trail podcast. I'm going to make sure. that all your info is down in the show notes and people obviously are going to hear audibly your number. I'm hoping that they reach out. Listen, folks, like you said, whether you need help or not, you can give you a pep talk that's going to have you motivated to go crush the day. Thank you so much, Dr. Rob, for coming on. It's been an honor having you on the show. Thank you, Jordan. Really appreciate. It's been a great time. I just want to say thank you to you to you, all of your stuff. I see what you do. We don't always know how good we are and how much effect we have on people and the following you have and what you do and the podcast and the time you're putting up. I'll be. It's just phenomenal. So thank you for you. Appreciate that. Have a great afternoon.