Blaze Your Own Trail - The Positive Impact of Fatherhood & Faith with Trey Milner

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everyone and welcome to the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast. My name is Jordan Mendoza. I'm your host. And I've got a very special guest today with me. His name is Trey Milner. And I'm going to have him tell you a little bit about what he does and who he is today. So Trey, thank you so much for being on the show. Super excited to dive into this conversation.

Starting point is 00:00:20 And thank you for having me, Jordan. This is awesome. It's wonderful to be with you guys. And to everyone who's watching, listening, we love you guys. So thank you for having me on. My pleasure. My pleasure. So you can just share just maybe 30 seconds.

Starting point is 00:00:35 Who are you? You know, what do you do? And where are you from? Yeah. So Trey Milner, I'm from Atlanta, Georgia. At least that's where I'm living now. And I am a husband, a father, and a post-audio executive, which is, that's a fun thing to say.

Starting point is 00:00:52 Yeah, that's interesting to say. Very cool, very cool. Husband and father. So how big is the family? How many kids you got? You know, how's that going? How's parenthood and all that? I love it.

Starting point is 00:01:03 You know, at the time that we are doing this podcast, I am actually preparing. It's my son who's 11. It's his last dad's day at school. And so that's an interesting thing to be going through for the first time. Sure. It's like that whole moment. But yeah, family of five. My wife and I have three kids, a boy, a girl and a boy in that order, 11, 5, and what, 15 months?

Starting point is 00:01:28 is what Biddy Boy is, so that's what we call him. Awesome, man. Yeah, well, you know, I've got six, as you know, and so whenever I meet people with two or three kids, I'm like, oh, that's very cute. Just wait until you've got to play real zone defense. And I don't know if you have aspirations to get to that or to go, you know, maybe to the next one.

Starting point is 00:01:46 But I will say it does get a little easier, you know, the more you have because now you've got kind of built-in babysitters. You have people that, when they're not being knuckleheads, might actually contribute and help sometimes. It doesn't always work out. But the thing about me being a parent now for over 20 years is I still don't know what I'm doing. You know, so if you thought there was hope out there, folks, if you're a new parent, you're still not going to figure it out. It doesn't matter if you have one or you have six.

Starting point is 00:02:12 We're still going to mess it up. We're still trying every day. We're still learning every day. And that's part of the process. And I'm so excited really to dive into your story because I'm sure your parents probably had to put up with a knucklehead back in the day. So if you might have mind sharing, where were you born and raised? and let's get into the formative years, you know, elementary middle to high school. Like, what kind of kid was Trey? You know, what kind of kid were you, what did you get into? Were you more

Starting point is 00:02:37 into academics? Were you into sports? Like, what was it that caught your eye in those formative years? Yeah, good question. And to put it bluntly, my parents absolutely had a knucklehead to deal with. Welcome to the club, baby. So I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii at Pearl Harbor. And my dad was a naval submariner and so yeah he was on the subs and my mom was taking care of us and so the us is the family there the unit and I grew up though in Dallas Texas so came to Atlanta for a little stint parents split up whenever I was around four years old and we moved out to Dallas Texas because that's where my mother was from and her family was was in Texas and what age was this? I was a four years old. Okay. And, you know, that was, that was the start of an interesting

Starting point is 00:03:30 journey, I guess you would say, because suddenly it's just me and mom, really. And for a couple of good years there, that's how it was. We were in an apartment. We were trying to figure things out, or I should say she was with a young kid in tow. And she did a great job. And she always had an incredible work ethic and got into the church because one of the things that I have to tell you is I am a preacher's kid five times over. So mom is a Disciples of Christ minister to this day. Dad was in the Pentecostal church along with his father who was a pastor in there. Great grandfather on my dad's side was a church planter who, from what I've heard, I mean, it was like 60 churches that he planted. So you come from a lineage of people following Christ, right? And so you've got it

Starting point is 00:04:20 naturally and by osmosis. And I'm going to have to predict that you probably still screwed it up sometimes. Very much. I mean, that's the thing. So whenever we say, you know, she's D.O.C. He's Pentecostal and so are they. Her dad was a Methodist minister. Family gatherings, family dynamics were very fun because theology was different across the board. And, you know, there were differing points of views. And I grew up in a way that I understood church politics. I understood the things that preachers' kids hear that maybe they're not meant to hear, but you do because you're in the house with the preacher, right? And as a kid, it kind of screwed me up because for me, that put church into a really interesting place where as a kid, you don't understand that church is full of, yeah, it's full of imperfect people, right? And you assume as a kid that all these adults are supposed to be perfect and Christ-like and all these things, and then they're not.

Starting point is 00:05:19 And it just creates a mess. And fast forward, you know, that's what pushed me out of the church as a teenager. I mean, for me, I went out because there were some things that happened in the church that I was like, I'm done by the age of 15. And I got sucked into the party lifestyle. As most of us do at that age, you know, the 15 to 16, 17. Yeah, very impressionable, right? And especially whenever your friends are going out.

Starting point is 00:05:43 And especially, too, I'll say to no fault of my parents. I mean, I think everybody in the 90s was. parenting in this way just about where it was like we're just going to tell you you know no sex no drugs no alcohol whenever you ask the question why the answer is going to be because the bible said so and as a teenage boy that wasn't enough for me i don't know if that's going to tame the hormones yeah exactly it's not going to do anything to me whenever i'm out here you know looking at all of my friends who you know quite frankly are doing all of those things and look like they're having a fantastic time. And it was just really easy to get into that life because I also was looking for

Starting point is 00:06:23 acceptance from just about everywhere. I mean, I had a stepfather in the home, but, you know, not having my biological father in the home, there was an acceptance issue there. And so for me, it was one of those things where, you know, I really jumped into this lifestyle feet first, I would say. And I wanted to live the fullness of it because I was convinced. that my parents had no idea what they were talking about whenever they told me not to do these things. So for me, you know, that led to going to college. And by the time I got to college, man, I was already in the club lifestyle. I was doing the heavier club drugs, we'll say. And I was living in the rave community, which is built on a pillar of force, which is peace, love, unity,

Starting point is 00:07:09 and respect. That's the whole moniker that the rave community comes with. And it's a guys by the enemy is what I've ultimately found as we've accelerated and gone through life. But I was searching for that acceptance and peace, love, unity, and respect sounded like something I wanted. I lost myself in there for a little while, but it's been a lot. So yeah, that's kind of how I started. And the kind of kid that I was, and I just have to say, because I know she's going to be watching this, Mama tried, I'm so sorry, because I will forever be apologetic for what I put you through in those years. But God saw us through, and it was, it's just wonderful. Let's just put it like this.

Starting point is 00:07:46 We're all knuckleheads. Yeah. Like for me, all the time, I still, even today, right? And I've gotten some restoration and healing, but we still do things that are dumb. I mean, we're human, right? I think you hit it perfect. Like, we're imperfect people on an imperfect planet, and the sooner we realize that the easier life gets.

Starting point is 00:08:04 That's so true. You know what I'm saying? Because we need God's grace, not man's grace. We need God's peace and fulfillment, not the world's peace and fulfillment. And you hit it on the head. It's the enemy. It's a lie. It's like, hey, if you do this, you're going to be loved and accepted.

Starting point is 00:08:18 And if you put this and it changes and you're not in your own mindset, then yeah, of course, you feel like you're in the place that you need to be. And let's face it, like, who doesn't like 140 beats per minute? You know what I'm saying? Like, that will put you in some type of zone. But now what I love and the audience is going to see the transition and really how you've been able to integrate some of the things from the worldly views that you had and point it. to something that's better and actually now, you know, creating impact and influence for good. Because even I remember a lot of the same things, the party scene, the rave scene, you know, I was a shoplifter back in the day and I was good at it. And I know how to use influence,

Starting point is 00:09:01 but then I did not use influence for good. Yeah. I used influence to manipulate. I use influence to get the things that I wanted to get because I felt like I needed them because I didn't have anywhere else. Right. I used my influence for such negative things. And, And then now I get to use my influence for good. Now I get to bring people and show them that, hey, don't be the knucklehead that I was. Don't do this. Like, this is the quickest way to unfulfillment. This is the quickest way to not love yourself.

Starting point is 00:09:30 This is the quickest way to basically have to go on a 70-pound weight loss journey and lose decades of weight. So if you want to do that, then do the things that we're saying to not do. Do that. And that's how you'll get there, right? Yeah, that's right. And yeah, I mean, that story of restoration, it's one that, you know, you may be anywhere in your journey on restoration and, you know, reformation also. But God has a specific plan for you. God is always on the move.

Starting point is 00:09:58 And he'll use the weirdest ways to be able to get that across. I mean, for me, I know, you know, that my child, my son, that his last dad's day at school is like, what, tomorrow or Thursday. For me, God used him to save me first. Before God ever gripped my heart and really gave me the understanding of what salvation and redemption and the spiritual gifts and all these things I walk in today, God used him to save me first. And that's really where it kicked off for me because for me I went into this really dark. I mean, you know, even my security guy who's with me in the studio here knows we went on a journey where we were throwing crazy parties because we were all trying to fill a voice. in our lives, I think, that led us to one another. And that influence, like you were saying,

Starting point is 00:10:50 it's interesting what happens whenever you get multiple people with influence that compound on each other. Because we ended up going to these bars, man, and we would send people into the bars all over town in this college town to say, everybody come to this one address. Terrible idea. Terrible idea. What's the worst thing that could happen, right? But we were throwing these things with like 200, 250 people every single night.

Starting point is 00:11:16 I mean, it was to the point where, like, the cops wouldn't even shut us down. They would literally just wait outside for people to leave. And they would just, like, tag them and get them. And it was so bad. But, you know, I met my wife now. And, you know, it's funny having heard your testimony now. Because for me, I met my wife. And she had no business dealing with me.

Starting point is 00:11:39 Didn't want to. at all because we had met on an online dating platform and I was the knucklehead that was just like, hey, you want to get together? And she was like, absolutely not. And then her best friend. You're going for dessert. How about an appetizer? Yeah, right? And her best friend was like, you've got to meet this dude. He's the coolest. And ends up introducing us in person. And I believe my wife's first words when she saw me was, oh, crap. And long story short, that ended up turning into just a And three months later, we found out we're going to be having a baby. And so, you know, she calls me up and she's like, are you sitting down?

Starting point is 00:12:20 And she's teary and all these things because she's thinking life is like over. I don't even know. I'm 20. Okay. And she's like, and she's like, I have no idea how he's even going to take this. And my response, because all of these guys were in the house with me, my response was, here we go. And I got super pumped.

Starting point is 00:12:39 Like, I got so excited. And the reason why is because, like I said, I mean, not having my father around for me, I saw this as an opportunity for me to do right by a child in the way that I wasn't done right for. Yeah, I love that. And that was like the first, that was like one of those catalytic mindset shifts for me that ended up permeating my entire being. It sounds like you saw a future. That's right.

Starting point is 00:13:02 That you didn't see before. That's right. I mean, I saw a chance to be able to influence this child's life, my child's life, in a way that would be positive that would teach him the things that I had to learn on my own, it felt like. And so God started to change things really quickly for me because it's amazing how quick the party ends whenever the person throwing the party now has a bigger responsibility. Well, this actually would make to differ because the party just looks different. Yes.

Starting point is 00:13:30 And it's bigger and it's wilder. Yeah, but I mean, like, you know, the 250 people that were there every night that you convince yourself in your head. well yeah you convince yourself in your head like these are your friends right this is your tribe these people are not your friends no these people are not there for you and you find that out really quick whenever you know the mess hits the fan and you need them because nobody's there with the exception of like three people one of whom is even in this room right now and that's one of those things that we i did an about face is the way that i can describe it then because jet which is my son he's coming along i'm I understand that.

Starting point is 00:14:10 And I understand, all right, it's time to put down the DJing because I was a DJ at the time. It's time to get serious. So I got to get out of this beer store that I'm working in and, you know, get really serious. So I actually took a job at a steel mill. And man, it was terrible. It was so awful because it was dangerous and it was hot when it was hot. And it was cold when it was cold. And it was so much work that nobody had ever conditioned me for because I came.

Starting point is 00:14:39 from, you know, more white collar. And all of a sudden, I'm thrown in with, like, these serious blue collar boys in the middle of Texas that they're like, you better keep up, city. And I'm like, well, I want to find out. We're going to take a quick break, guys. I just want to interrupt this segment here to make sure you all know that the Blaze Your Own Trail podcast is part of the Radcast Network. If you're a podcaster that wants to grow your impact, your influence, and actually monetize your show. maybe you're podcasted and you're like, I haven't made a single penny and it would be nice if I could bring in revenue. Make sure to check out the radcast network.com. All right, so you're in this

Starting point is 00:15:20 steel mill. Okay. So you're going from DJing, super loud music to now you're going into with some, you know, like people in Texas that are telling you to keep up and very loud machinery. So it was loud, but it wasn't loud that actually sounds good. So like, first of all, how was that experience going to this like new environment you got these knuckleheads that basically are like you're the outsider in here and you better keep up with us and so you're dealing with all these different situations and circumstances and I'm sure you probably had to look around and be like what the heck am I doing here every single day what am I doing every single day for a year I did landscaping for my dad every summer I was like what am I doing here I'm running a crew I'm learning

Starting point is 00:16:03 Spanish and doing 35 yards a day and talking to no one Why am I here? Yeah. See, that was the thing. I mean, the first day that I worked at that steel mill, I came in. My wife, she's in there in the kitchen cooking, and she's doing the whole, like, her best 19-fee's housewife impression, right? Like, husband just comes home from work, and she's like, how was it as she's getting dinner? And I broke down sobbing.

Starting point is 00:16:31 Wow. And was like, I hate it so much. And I know I can't quit it. Because the thing was is that on that first day, I knew how much I hated it. And I cried out to God, you know, even just myself and said, if you'll change my life, I'll give this a year for my family's sake. So you knew you were at least in a year. Yeah, I mean, that's kind of what like my parents had instilled in me. But every day for that year, I was in a place where it was like, what am I doing?

Starting point is 00:17:02 Am I even doing anything right in my life? I mean, a lot of time to think. because I was the crane operator in here. And so I'm operating a 30-ton crane that rolls overhead and I walk underneath it with all this crazy heavy stuff on it. And it was seven miles a day back and forth across a 200-yard stretch. And in any given moment, something could probably kill you. Exactly what my trainer said on the first day was he was like,

Starting point is 00:17:30 everything in here can hurt you. This will kill you every day. And so you're living with that. And you have no insurance. You're living with that. And at the same time, you know, but it gave me a lot of time to process, a lot of time to think, a lot of time to deal with emotions and things like that that I had never had to confront before. Yep. And nine months in, my uncle, Dwayne Walker, who runs Dwayne Walker Realty right here in Atlanta, Georgia, he calls me and he said, Trey, I can't let you waste away in this place.

Starting point is 00:18:02 Wow. If you'll move out here, I'll pay for your licensure and get your realty. estate license and teach you how to do it generous it was it was incredible and i said yes i mean that's the thing yeah like i said yes i was like i keeping that in the back of my head of god i made this deal with you and you're now changing my life it was like a no-brainer for me but it wasn't a no-brainer for my wife who had never moved away from her family so so how did you get that deal negotiated um well i would say that it wasn't very hard whenever we were living for a family family of three on $13 an hour, only one income.

Starting point is 00:18:40 And now you had unlimited potential. Yeah, exactly. I mean, you know, I had the benefit of saying to her because, I mean, I grew up seeing them with a pet monkey and he's still in their life today and all of our lives today with their corvettes and their mansion and all this stuff that I was like, babe, this is what we've looked for as a way out of this dead in town. And so we, three months later, after really planning this thing out, quit the job, getting the trucks, and head that way. And we started living with them in their home.

Starting point is 00:19:15 They have no kids. We have one child at the time. Newlyweds, 20 years in, like, these things don't add up. Sure. And on top of that, my uncle, love him dearly, he's maybe the hardest man that I've ever had to work for. And it was the family dynamic, but it's also that he had the heart. an unfortunate job of instilling a new version of a work ethic. Sure.

Starting point is 00:19:38 Not something that you were, were you not interested in that work ethic, or you just never had to hit gears like that before? Never had to hit gears like that before. And I was at a place where I had a lot of self-limiting beliefs. Because I had had a lot coached into me at a young age of you'll never be more than your father, you'll never be more than this, you'll always be that. And after a long time of hearing those things, it programs a child. And that's one of the things that I advocate for constantly now is using frequency and different technologies along with your spiritual construct in order to rewrite those mindsets.

Starting point is 00:20:15 Power and words, right? That's right. And we're told that in school, as a kid, that words will never hurt you. And it's a big lie. That's right. It's a big lie because they will. And they will create it in our subconscious. And then all of a sudden you have depressed kids or kids that do.

Starting point is 00:20:31 don't feel like they belong when actually they need to be living in their gifts and purpose, and that's where the belonging is. And even then, too, the other side of that coin is that, you know, there are laws at play in the universe and in the world that God set forth at creation. Just because the church, you know, neglects to see that that's what they are, doesn't mean that there are any less of covenant laws that he put forth. So things like the laws of traction that guys that wrote like the secret and some of these are using for new age stuff, that's stuff that it affects us even as Christians, even if we don't want to believe it does. So whenever you rehearse things over yourself or people have rehearsed things over you

Starting point is 00:21:12 that you accept, that's what you attract in this world. And so whenever you've had failure rehearsed over you, you start to attract failure. And what he had the unfortunate job of doing was coaching that out of me because one of his personal grates is failure is never an option. That's always been his thing. I mean, he's got it written across the screensaver of all of his servers and everything. Like me, because I say, I try to fail as much as I can every day and learn from it and then just keep failing forward. Well, that's the thing. Failing forward is not failure. We know that. I mean, yes, there are unfortunate setbacks, mishaps, mistakes, but failure is something that we accept. Failure is not something that is...

Starting point is 00:21:53 Failure is finite, right? You're saying that, hey, this, it's done. I always look at everything. There's always another opportunity. Yeah, and that's what he really identifies with failure is not an option. It's the way he communicates it, but that's really the essence of it. And he got to instill that in me. He also instilled in me. I mean, I know you were in sales. That's where I came from, too, because of him. He instilled in me understanding of what it means to speed to the lead, right? The actual respect involved for the other person in that, in that. instead of just the money-hungry side of the, you know, these principles that it took a long time for me to get my head wrapped around it. And, you know, there were also things that were absolutely crazy that we had to do. I mean, and we don't go into. Did some door knocking or what? Did some door knock in and, you know, did some other things. But, I mean, it was like the ownership of certain things in the home that wasn't even mine, that it was like, this is what you have to do because you're living here and it's this and that.

Starting point is 00:22:52 And so as a newlywed, new parents, new adults, all the news. And you've got this whole parenthood aspect or fatherhood aspect that had never been there before. And I booked the system hard. And it created this budding heads in us that really almost destroyed my marriage. Because I was too busy fighting him to realize what the enemy was doing between me and my wife to sow discord. And 18 months into living with them and I've gotten my license. I'm starting to build a pipeline in real estate because that takes a while for anybody who's getting into it. She wants to move back.

Starting point is 00:23:30 She wants out. She just drops it and says, hey, I want to move back or I am moving back. Well, that's the thing is, you know, we've always been good at communicating even when we were in the midst of the struggles. And that's one of the things that I will say is a core pillar, maybe the core pillar in any marriage, right? is your willingness and ability to communicate through the hard times. And that's typically where the enemy hits you the hardest. As men, he has this basically, we feel trapped and locked where we can't even say words or can't let the emotions out.

Starting point is 00:24:02 And then in women, they're talking so much that they're getting frustrated that we're not saying. And it's like, I mean, it's a spiritual warfare. And that's something that I had to kick that to the curb in my house because I felt it. I mean, it was heavy. And I just had to say, this is not, we're not doing this. anymore. We're not playing these games, you know? That's exactly right. And unfortunately, they're games. People don't realize that they actually help contribute to the gamification of evil.

Starting point is 00:24:27 That is so good. You know what I'm saying? Absolutely. I mean, I've always lived under that assumption and knowing of life is a game and the pieces that we play in life, those are moves in the game or their sub-games. I mean, even, that's something that I've always identified as well. And I love the way you just said that. I appreciate it. You're exactly right. And for us, I'm fortunate. That was how we made it through. I mean, we made the decision, all right, if you want to move back, it's not just me in this. We've always come at marriage with a 100-100 mentality instead of 50-50. You never get half of me. You always get 100 percent and that's what I need in return. And with that meant in that moment is you want to move back. No questions asked. We move. We go because we're not willing to let this crumble in the midst of that. So how do we do it? We planned it out and we get back to Texas. And I would say that taking what I had learned, taking the grit that I was put in me from the steel mill up to that point is what really conditioned me for the next stage in that journey.

Starting point is 00:25:33 Yeah, isn't it funny how God uses a season that we identify as a doldrum place. We identify as a place of we're weak, we're not good enough, we're not fulfilled. Like, why do you have me here? And then he takes that and then he uses it in the future and you're like, this is why you had me in this season, right? And it sounds like this is the epiphany that you started to have. Yeah, that's right. Because I take all of these things and I end up in this place in Richards and Texas. We're moving into the metroplex. Yeah, we're moving into the metroplex in Atlanta here from where we had come from, which was that college town that we had wound up in. And so I'm more in my roots in the DFW area.

Starting point is 00:26:19 And so things are feeling a little more like home for me, but still not quite home for her. And I get this job. It's my first corporate job. And you may appreciate this, having been in sales. It was the craziest interview process I've ever been through because I go into this. And the CEO, the COO, and the chief revenue officer is sitting there. And I have to sell them their own company. And their website, man, was terrible.

Starting point is 00:26:44 I mean, it literally gave you no information about the company. So I had no idea what I was applying for, what industry they were in, any thing. And they literally were like, sell me me. And I'm like, okay. And so I had two weeks to put this presentation together for this interview. Put it together. Go through it. And the CEO is sitting there.

Starting point is 00:27:05 His name is Ron Johnson. And he's sitting there across from me. And he goes, well, now I know that if I give you two weeks, you can prepare something to, you know, knock me away or whatever. And he goes, ring, ring. And I am thrown into my first cold calling experience. There. Right there.

Starting point is 00:27:21 In the interview with the CEO being the one. I won't use the language that he used, but he cut me off midway through. And he just said, what was that in not those, not that language? And slammed his hands down on the table and says, I understand that we've made you like you're the emperor with no clothes. So take a second. turn around, refocus, and let's run through this again. Runs through it again with me after a minute or two of me refocusing. Slams his hands down on the table as the end of the call and goes,

Starting point is 00:27:54 that's a salesman, again, not with that language, gets up and walks out of the room. I like this guy. And it was the most intimidating, like, stomach pit moment that I've had in my career, maybe, especially up to that point. But it really set the table for what I was about to go through. because they gave me the job. And for three years, I was in this place where, you know, I was constantly learning from these guys, constantly watching how their intensity and their drive is what contributed.

Starting point is 00:28:25 How quick they make decisions. Yeah. Right. How fast they move. Exactly. And how that contributes to scaling a business and how that contributes to creating camaraderie and culture inside the team and all of these things and what hyper-transparency in a business because these guys would send out, like, if it was a $5 or $5 million check, everybody in the company was notified as soon as it hit the account.

Starting point is 00:28:48 Because they wanted hypertransparency so that everybody knew every move. Knows they're part of the team and every role is important. Yeah, exactly. And so I took all of this learning. And fortunately, they also put the constructs behind it. They showed us this is what our framework is and what our business operating system is and we had to learn it and be a part of it. And for those that didn't want to really dive in, they didn't have to, I'm sure, because I was who I was. I felt drawn to it.

Starting point is 00:29:17 Yeah, you're just soaking it up. Yeah. And fortunately, you know, there were multiple meetings that he actually brought me into where I got to see things that I wouldn't otherwise get to see. I got to be able to see what a seasoned executive, someone with a law degree and things like that that I didn't have, how they thought, how they moved, what they did to position. And it influenced me. And then I got crushed about three years into it because I had built this momentum within that company. I was feeling great. We were on a trajectory to do some really great things.

Starting point is 00:29:50 And then they sold the company. Man, so is there a recapitalization or a completely sold? Completely sold. Wow. I mean, $75 million exit to a much larger conglomerate. And the way that we found out as salespeople, we were getting ready to go to San Diego. and we get to, I think we were in San Diego, I can't remember, get there for the day, and they call us into this suite that's like a presidential suite.

Starting point is 00:30:17 And in walks the CEO of one of our largest competitors. And he walks in and he goes, you guys are about to figure out why you're here. Let me make this phone call and goes on an earnings call in the middle of the floor with us all around him and announces we just bought them. Wow. And it was like this eye-opening moment where I'm like, my life just shifted and I'm not sure what's going to happen. Yeah. Because a lot of uncertainty.

Starting point is 00:30:43 Yeah. I mean, and all of a sudden we go from, all right, there was a team of 16 salespeople. So you have access to see the executives and the inner workings and transparency to now I'm thrust into a company where there's a thousand salespeople on the floor. You're lost immediately in that crowd. And so I get into this mode where I, understand it's time to move because what I really longed for was always proximity to the top levels. And I think that that was just God working in me at all levels. Well, proximity is power, right?

Starting point is 00:31:18 The closer you are, the people that make the decisions. Those are the rooms that you want to be in because those are the people that get results. Those are the action takers. Those are the disruptors, right? Yeah. It's essentially the Avengers of any organization are usually those people that are there and they have all the access. That's exactly right. And so that's what I really valued and it made no sense to my family, Jordan. It made no sense because I was not a respecter of industries and I was not a respecter and still to a large degree of not of the system at play. I mean, because for me, you know, you grow up in this time where your family is telling you, all right, you know, you've got to stay in a job for 15 years and do this and climb the ladder. You know, that's the only way you get ahead.

Starting point is 00:32:04 and all this stuff. And I'm over here like, all right, I was in a steel mill, then I'm a real estate agent, now I'm in property tech. And I make this move into a company called Blue Star Sports that carries the Dallas Cowboys logo. And I know nothing about it. I mean, I was a music kid. I was a history kid, if you wanted to call me an academic. Like, I've never really been the scientific or mathematics or anything. I mean, I can get there. and I can function, but history was my jam, sociology, psychology, those kind of social sciences. And I was not a sports kid. I wanted to be, but I was not a fantastic athlete.

Starting point is 00:32:47 You know, for me to jump into sports tech, everybody was like, what are you doing? You don't even watch sports. And I'm like, I don't need to watch sports. I know that there are, you know, 35 people or 100 people even maybe in this company all across the area. I know that that gives me proximity to what I need. And I even found out it was ultimately a Jerry Jones company. He's the one who owns the Dallas Cowboys. And so, you know, there were ties in there that I was like, I think I could make this work. So I get in there and, man, that was one of the seasons that God used to really test me in tumultuous waters, I would say.

Starting point is 00:33:29 Because... Was environment or what was it? It was environment and it was the page. at which these executives, because we went through four executive shakeups while I was there, leveling. How many sales guys did you churned and burn through consistently? Yeah, we probably went through in my entire time there across multiple brands, maybe 50 to 75 different salespeople. And we kept, you know, maybe 11 on the floor at any given time. So about five of those.

Starting point is 00:34:02 but I ended up surviving nine rounds of layoffs at this company. Whenever I left that company, I was one of like three people who had the longest tenure in the company. And the reason why is just because of that proximity effect. I mean, I found who the leaders were that were actually leading, and I just wanted to learn the leadership style. And so even whenever things weren't working out sales-wise or things like that, they would keep me on because they were like, there's something in him. And God was always watching my back there because there were guys that were wildly more successful sales-wise. But you also in sports have a lot of people who, you know, they're there for the sports aspect. They're not there because they're upstanding and character.

Starting point is 00:34:44 Sure. And with that, there was a lot that we had to learn. But through those nine rounds of layoffs, through, I mean, there was a false lawsuit brought against me at that place because there was somebody that just wanted to grab some money on their way out the door. And they brought nine of us into it. There was a lot that I had to be tested through. And what God still showed me in that is it doesn't matter, you know, what you're doing as long as you're doing the right thing and standing up straight.

Starting point is 00:35:11 Because I can stay in, I can see you through that. And I mean, I still hadn't had my radical moment with Jesus by this point. But I knew that Jesus was my God. I knew that, you know, what I had learned was right as a kid and everything. But I wasn't in church. I wasn't reading the Bible. I was praying with question marks as the way that I say it. A lot of shouting and things like that.

Starting point is 00:35:34 Yeah. And, you know, God was seeing me through, but I didn't know what he was doing. I didn't know the kingdom moves yet. You know, I was still very much at that time because I had learned from seeing a number of the guys that, you know, they weren't my direct upline as far as leaders that I would say were my mentors. But I watched a lot of their friends that were the ruthless cut-throat fire you. throat, fire you without questions. Who I don't want to be around, who I don't want to be. But that's the thing. It conditioned me. It had conditioned my heart because I wasn't in the right

Starting point is 00:36:08 place with God. So I was in a place where I was like, you know, if I can accelerate my growth, because I've got bills to pay, I've got a family to feed. Like, I've got this and that, and you justify all these things. It doesn't matter who I had to cut down at that time. And it was a terrible way to live. Sure. But I didn't see it as that I saw it as competition. You know, it's a dog eat dog world and corporate. You got to do what you got to do.

Starting point is 00:36:33 You're trying to take me down. I'm going to do my thing, right? Yeah, and so fast forward, we get to 2019, and we're pregnant, and we have my daughter and my aunt comes in, my dad's sister. I've always loved and been close to my aunt. We've always felt a little bit like we were both adopted into this family and that we're just the different ones. She comes into town and she starts asking me these questions of why are you so angry?

Starting point is 00:36:59 You didn't see it. Well, I mean, I saw it, but I masked it with, oh, I have to be that way because of my professionalism or I have to be at this or that or that or whatever. I have to be that because. Can't be a pushover. I'm a leader. Exactly. And so she's cutting right through this and why are you so angry? and it levels to a place where I just unload about the lack of fatherhood really in my life.

Starting point is 00:37:25 And the fact that I'm having to search for this from all these places where these guys are not meant to be my father. These guys are meant to be my leader, but I'm putting them on pedestals and they're falling. And, you know, all this stuff. And it comes out, and that was the first time, I can say that I had a real understanding for the first time of what it means to break word curses off of your life. because she went through rattling off scripture. I mean, it was just the voice of God speaking through her, rattling off this scripture and just speaking to the enemy at work in me to just break him off. And about a week after that, I woke up a completely different person.

Starting point is 00:38:05 January 1st, 2020, I woke up with... I launched this podcast. Really? That's phenomenal. I did not know that. See, and that's the thing is God did a lot in there. And we can talk about that in a minute. But for a lot of people, but for me, my moment was January 1st, 2020, I woke up, and it was like I had an insatiable thirst.

Starting point is 00:38:26 Because, you know, I mean, whenever you're thirsty, like, nothing can touch that thirst unless it's water, right? Nothing. I had that for the Word of God. All of a sudden, I couldn't get enough. And I was praying in a different way than I'd ever prayed before. And there was so much going on that was drawing me closer to God. And I had no idea why. but it was amazing.

Starting point is 00:38:47 And it quickly started to shift my heart where I couldn't do the things. I couldn't do my job the way that I was doing it. I couldn't come at, you know, professionalism with this aggression and, you know, this hatred in my heart and all this. Yeah, he started to chip away at that stone heart and put that flesh heart in there. And it was crazy. I guarantee you there was lots of tears. There was lots of driving around and all of a sudden there's tears down your face and you don't know why, you know, and there's lots of your apologizing to your wife and you're apologizing

Starting point is 00:39:21 about how bad of a father and a husband you were. And I've been there. I know this feeling. And it's it's the most weird and amazing and awkward and emotional. And you can't explain type of feeling, but it's the best. It replaces any of the drugs, any of the music, any of that. And you just can't turn it off. Exactly. Right. You can't. I mean, it's just. You can try. It's just It's just going to keep coming. You keep wanting more and you and then you start to see things changing in your life and it

Starting point is 00:39:52 snowballs from there and that's exactly what happened. I mean I find out all right we're moving you to Atlanta of all places. We're moving you to Atlanta and it wasn't lost on me at that point that I was like God you're getting ready to do something here and I didn't know what it was but God knew so we

Starting point is 00:40:12 moved to Atlanta and get this. So I go to Denver. What was that? That was March 12th, 2020. You get stuck for how long? No, no, no. This was what was great. March 12th, 2020, I'm there for four days. March 16th is the day that I'm flying out. And so I fly out March 16th, 2020, and in Texas, and the world shuts down.

Starting point is 00:40:36 Right as soon as I get home. And it was like all of a sudden we're all in our homes. No toilet paper on shelves. Can't get it, right? We all remember how that. That was. We got to talk to each other, right? You remember that?

Starting point is 00:40:47 Board games. Yeah, exactly. What the heck are we doing here? Yeah. It's home learning for the kids. Like, what the heck is happening, dude? I didn't want to be a teacher. Exactly.

Starting point is 00:40:58 And, but it was great because it put us in this place where, like, we're all at home. Like, suddenly we're thrown back into this, like, I don't even know, 1940s, 1930s lifestyle of, like, family units and people on blocks getting together and stuff. Like, what is this? Yeah. And we get the word, we're moving you to Atlanta. And that's all transpiring, getting ready for the move. The world is still shut down.

Starting point is 00:41:23 And we're like, what's happening? And that's the thing is we get on the road. And it was like driving through the walking dead or something. Like it was like nobody is on the road. And here we are in a 26 foot U-Haul and two cars in tow. People try to throw spears against. Yeah, like all this stuff. Because they're like, what are you doing?

Starting point is 00:41:42 You're putting us all at risk. on your mask. And so we get to Atlanta and man, I remember I took a picture at my uncle's pool that night because we moved in 10 doors down from them. Wow. And I just thought to myself how crazy it is that we're back in Atlanta and we're happy about it this time. And I get to my house and I'm standing there in front of this big beautiful tree that we have in our front yard. And I remember looking at this tree and I just stood there for a second and I said, God, I don't know what it is that I missed out on that you were planning to do when I was here the first time. But I know that I was never supposed to leave and you've worked it for good. I give you everything that I've got right now.

Starting point is 00:42:22 Whatever you want to do with it, we go. Love it. And that was like, you got to be ready. You got to be ready when you pray a prayer like that because it's the same sort of principle, right? If you're listening to this and you've ever prayed for patience and then wondered why everybody on the road is cutting you off, or if you've ever prayed for like wisdom and then you get put in the craziest decision-making processes of your life. You have to know that's what you're asking for. Whenever you say, I'm giving you everything, here I am, send me, please be ready.

Starting point is 00:42:51 Oh, man. What God had me do was leave my job, start a podcast. I mean, it sent us on this road where, you know, we're going into another job and this job and all this stuff, and there's so much tumultuous nature, and it's like watching the end come stair step down, dude. And at the same time, I've got this podcast called Music of the Spirit, that I don't even know if you can catch it anywhere anymore because it's been so long since we did it.

Starting point is 00:43:16 But in the first 13 months, we reached 3 million people around the globe. Incredible. And the way that I've come to understand what God did with it is he brought me back into a place of understanding my musical roots and understanding how things in my past could be used to serve him. Because I was interviewing DJs that were saying they were Christians about what it means to be a Christian DJ in the club lifestyle. because I know that whenever I was in the clothes, I wouldn't pray. I wasn't doing things that were godly. And I wanted to hear that.

Starting point is 00:43:49 And so God used the interviews to change my life. But I also had these DJs send me an hour-long mix in their style, you know, so that we could showcase the music and the art that God had put inside them, the expression of worship. And, man, I had crazy stuff happen because God used the mixes to change people's lives. He had a church in Pakistan that, you know, they started using those mixes as their worship tracks. And I preached to them over Zoom and all these incredible things. We had ISIS, like, camps where the women, whenever the men would go out, ISIS fighters would be messaging my wife and I, you know, on our Facebook saying, I've always known, I've known that Jesus is calling me, but I don't know if he'll accept me because of what we're doing.

Starting point is 00:44:36 And we had the chance to be able to speak into these. women's lives over the internet and say, you know, he's been waiting 2,000 years for you. Yeah. And God used that to push me into radio and ultimately, you know, success happened there as well, but then to push me into what we're into today. So long trip around the block. That's the story, man. Let's talk about radio a little bit because, you know, one of the things when I was in corporate, I had this season where from, I got into corporate, I think it was around 2012 was actually, you know, right after maybe six months after my mom passed away and it was one of the darkest seasons I'd walk through, you know, six months of driving, not remembering getting in the car, don't really remember the day, don't really remember driving home. It was just that fog, you know, and it was very heavy. And in that season, I got a demotion and I went to go manage a small property and then that led to an opportunity in corporate where I was definitely not qualified and they somehow picked a guy like this knucklehead, right? And so, and then I spend the next eight years. And then I spend the next eight years. And then I spend the next eight years. And then, I was definitely not to be in corporate. And then. And then I was definitely. And then. And then I spent the next eight years. And then. And then. And then. And then I was. And then and training and development. I'm learning video editing. I'm learning how to, you know, get good on

Starting point is 00:45:41 camera. I'm learning about how to build learning management systems, teaching, coaching, training. I got certified in Myers-Briggs, certified in sales enablement, certified as an advanced instructor. And then I'm sitting here, I leave eight years later to start a business and I'm like, God, why did you have me learn all this? I'm not going to use this in business. Like, why did you have me in the season? And guess what I use in business the most? Yeah, every day. All of those things that I was in that season learning all the stuff knucklehead right so i want to i want to know like a talk about day one in radio how how how crazy was it how wild was it and then take us on the journey of how was god equipping you in that season that now is adding value to everything you're doing even this interview

Starting point is 00:46:23 today yeah so um day one in radio was interesting for me because there's it's a different set of learning right i mean you've got long form content like what we're doing here and that's what i had been accustomed to as interviews and things like that. All of a sudden you're thrust into this mode where it's like you've got thousands of people listening. You have three minutes to land the plane and you've got to kick it off to the next song while also bringing back in the reflection of the next song or break, whatever. And so the pressure was on, it felt like, but I also jumped into an understanding God had put me here because it was a Christian radio station, so they were very encouraging. And so we jump into it and it was like from day one,

Starting point is 00:47:05 I mean, I thought I bombed the show. I'll be honest. I thought I absolutely just was crushed. And the station manager afterwards, I walk up to his office and he goes, you're a natural. You were like born for that. Okay. And positive deposit. So what happened to your confidence in that moment?

Starting point is 00:47:23 You're walking taller. Yeah. It's like a rock. I love that. And so went into that. And, you know, for me, it was an understanding because I had the opportunity on Friday nights from 9 p.m. to 1 a.m. And we were doing Christian E.D.M. And man, why didn't I find this station? It's still on, man. So you can hit it. Victory 91.5.

Starting point is 00:47:51 Listen to it. And we were doing this stuff. So it funneled into what I had been doing with the podcast. It worked and played with that. But it taught me how to dynamically shift and play off of somebody else because Nathaniel was my co-host on this. And we had to play off of each other. So we were coming up with, you know, skits and scenes and things like that to be able to play with just our voices and, you know, how are we going to get over with these people? And, you know, we had prayer. And so I learned how to pray prophetically on the spot. And it really conditioned me in a lot of these ways spiritually. Then I inherited a Saturday show because we were success. We were seeing success there and they wanted to give me another opportunity. You give you

Starting point is 00:48:36 more visibility because you could bring more people in. Exactly. And so they gave me what I considered to be prime time for Saturday. Sure. Because it was noon to 6 p.m. on an FM station in Atlanta. And I'm like, I don't know if any of you are from Atlanta, but I know we are. Yeah. Man, I've been on traffic on 285 on Saturday and stuck somewhere and listening to the radio. Yep. That seems prime time to me. It wasn't considered prime time to anybody else. But for me, I looked at this as a chance to, instead of being crazy party, keep the energy high like it is Friday night, this is my chance to get really practical with gospel constructs and test it to where I've got either an hour and a half of three minute breaks that I can land points in. Or I can choose to just put truth bombs in here every 15 minutes and just hammer these things. And so that was kind of my framework.

Starting point is 00:49:30 And it was understanding, like, I want to dive into the. the things that the church has neglected. The church has abandoned. The church doesn't want to look at because it seems creepy or whatever. I want to dive into that stuff. Weird or taboo or too hard to talk about. It's like when people look at Revelation as like this kind of mysterious and ominous thing, but when they flip it and it's actually like super beautiful, right?

Starting point is 00:49:54 Yeah. So it's kind of like taking the things and flipping them back into the right side that they're supposed to be on. Exactly. And so that's where, you know, for me, I really do. dove into that role and said, we're going to be primetime radio host. And I really took that mantle on and it worked. I mean, we had a successful run at that whenever I handed that mic off. I mean, there were thousands of more listeners and things like that that were happening. And so it was good. We were picking things back up with that station. And God uses that stuff today. I mean, even like what we're doing here today, I mean, there's a certain way that you have to know how to sit in this chair. There's a certain way you'd have to know how to sit in that chair.

Starting point is 00:50:32 Or else you knock over a candle. You're welcome, Bath and Body Works. That's great. And so, yeah, I used that stuff today, but it was also, you know, it's a conglomeration of the learnings from steel mill all the way through radio and everything in between that factors into what I get to do today with Citygate Studios, which is the post-production house that I am blessed to be the CEO of. And that's where we are, you know, today.

Starting point is 00:51:01 That's where we're sitting right now. Yeah, and we've got some exciting announcements for our podcast listeners. Not today, but we have some announcements. So just a little teaser. We've got some awesome stuff that we're working on, things that we're building. And I can't tell you how excited I am just to even know this guy. I mean, if you've just, you all have got to experience just a glimpse of the turnaround that he's had on his life. And I just want to say I'm proud of you, brother, because I've been through a lot of hard.

Starting point is 00:51:28 As you know, you got to hear a little bit about my story. and so we got some fun stuff, another little teaser of something coming out. But man, you know, you have put in the hard work, and that's what's hard. You know, and there's a song by Zanti, hard work, God first, right? Hard work, God first. And it's like, you put God first, and we work hard, and it's just amazing the types of things that happen that we never would have thought were possible, you know, and you go back to the little version of yourself where people said, you're not going to amount to anything, and now you're like,

Starting point is 00:51:59 look at God, you know, look what he did. it's not in our strength. It's not in our power. It's the fact that we decided to submit, decided to surrender, and that restoration is available for all of us. 100%. Once we get out of our own way, knuckleheads, right? I'm going to start a new podcast called the knuckleheads. Maybe I don't know. Maybe a new book title, I don't know, but we are all knuckleheads. And we all, once we finally get out of our way and we actually start to see, right, the clouds part, the scales fall of, whatever the metaphor is for you, man, there's freedom in that. And that's why, I've got a shirt on that says freedom. You know, I feel so free. I feel so blessed to call you a brother, a friend. I feel like we've known each other forever now. And we just literally have met for a week,

Starting point is 00:52:42 even though we've been connected on LinkedIn for probably four years. And knuckleheads never even got on a call with each other. But for such a time is this, man. God's time. I'm excited. So talk a little bit about, you know, the studios here. You know, we've got City Gate Studios. We've got these beautiful stickers.

Starting point is 00:52:57 Man, if you guys were to see, this is a 30,000 square foot. but total facility. There's going to be incredible spaces like you're seeing right now. There's places to host show. So if you're a content creator, if you're an athlete and you're looking to get better NIL deals,

Starting point is 00:53:13 how about that? If you are a speaker, if you are a podcaster, and you want a beautiful place to get your message out to the world, you need to give this man a ring. And so we're going to make sure in the show notes,

Starting point is 00:53:25 you know, don't walk, folks run. Go, check it out. He's also got an incredible opportunity for you to, If anyone feels like his story touched your heart and you say, how do I get involved in this? How can I contribute? There's going to be an opportunity for you to invest in the work that this guy's doing. I don't know about you, but I get pumped up just hearing how far he's come.

Starting point is 00:53:45 And I know that there's people out there just like you that have come. You haven't come this far to just come this far. Your story is not over. It's just the beginning. And if us knuckleheads can do it and be talking to each other when we should be dead broker in jail or worse, then you can do it. And I just want to share with everyone, you can blaze your own trail as long as you don't give up. So what final words of encouragement do you want to impart on our audience today? Yeah, no, I would just say everything that Jordan just said, I echo that 100%. You know, the biggest thing to keep in mind is, and I draw back actually to my uncle that I was mentioning, know where you've been, know where you're going, but stay firmly planted day by day where you're at. Because that's how you remain in this. authentic truth of understanding, you know, what it is that God is able to do within a 24-hour time

Starting point is 00:54:36 period. It's incredible stuff. And never be so closed off that you can't change your mindset towards anything in this world. Because that's the thing is we're all imperfect. We all are doing the best that we can, hopefully, in order to be able to walk this walk and stay on the journey with God and keep him leading. But we also need to understand that we do. a great job as humans, all of us, of getting out in front of him and getting out from underneath that cover of his wings. You know what I mean? Yes. So make sure that you stay there. And I do want to say, too, we are running a capital campaign right now. You know, what we are doing here at Citygate Studios. Yes, there are the podcast studios. There's the event space. There's a lot going on and we're tied to

Starting point is 00:55:23 30,000 square foot. You know, 25,000 of that is a church building that actually runs things. Over in this end, we are very blessed because what we do in post is an incredible work. It's the dialogue replacement for movies. It's immersive audio books. It's immersive podcasting. It's Foley work, which is really cool stuff. Like, you know, if I'm drinking this water, what makes the sounds of that water actually on screen? You guys hear the horses?

Starting point is 00:55:52 That's people. It's like hitting on shoes and pieces of wood. That's right. It's not really horses. Yeah. And so it's cool stuff, but for us it's a ministry because you have high-end professional creatives that are working in Hollywood that are captive to an industry. Not fulfilled. Exactly. Stuck. Don't realize it.

Starting point is 00:56:10 And they don't know Jesus. And that's what we get the chance to do is live Jesus in their midst. It's not just about, you know, how do I plaster vinyl scriptures on the wall and say, that's what you need. Come to church. It's about living the love of Christ in their midst and showing them that there's a way that's better than anything that Hollywood has ever given them. And we get to buy that access with the studios, with the gear that we're putting in. But we need that help. And what I've really come to understand on this journey is, you know, what guys like Dallas Jenkins did with the chosen that reached the globe, what they did was they really

Starting point is 00:56:46 activated the voice of the body of Christ, the voice of the trailblazers, the voice of those who wanted something different. And that's exactly what we've done. So we have a GoFundMe link. Maybe we can put that in the description in the show notes. Also in my Instagram, in my links bio, I've already plugged it in there for you. Fantastic. We appreciate that.

Starting point is 00:57:07 Because what we want to do is we understand we have access into rooms that you don't. I mean, I'm already, you know, I already have access to the executive offices at Sony, Netflix, Paramount, Amazon, Universal, Warner Brothers, you name it. I know that you don't have that access. but I can carry your voice in there and say, this is the content that they want. And with millions of you, thousands of you even just on the GoFundMe, putting in your special gift and putting in your name, that allows me to take that as a ledger in. And, you know, there's the sayings, right? You know, money walks or money talks.

Starting point is 00:57:46 And that's the way that we look at this. And this is the way to put your voice to action. So join us in that fight. and I just absolutely love you guys and I'm honored to be on the journey that I'm on. Well, hey, listen, I appreciate your time today. I thank you for setting this. I mean, check out this incredible space, guys.

Starting point is 00:58:03 And again, like I said earlier, we've got some incredible announcements we're going to be making. I've got stuff related to my book that's coming out that the team has graciously helped with. And then we've got some other stuff in the mix, but I'm not going to share it all with you today. You guys heard enough, I feel like, with Trey. But, hey, let's give them a round of applause.

Starting point is 00:58:21 Trey. Thank you so much for coming on the Blaisroom. podcast. You are a true trailblazer. What I'm going to say to you all is, if you want to blaze a trail, it all starts with that first step. And you won't believe what's on the other side of you stepping outside of your fear, stepping outside of your comfort. Instability, create stability, not the other way around. And the worst part is, is we don't like being instable. But when you take out and you walk out in faith and you take those steps, man, God's going to meet you. what he does to your life like he's done with Trey and I and radically shifted our perspective and

Starting point is 00:58:58 mindset. Do you know that the inner game controls the outer game? Let me say that one more time, folks. The inner game controls the outer game. We're in a battle here of light and of darkness, and we need to be on the bright side because you cannot ever turn out the lights. It's just not possible. So hopefully this episode added value to you. Be on the lookout for some solo content that's going to help your world on all the social media platforms. You've got some amazing tips coming out. Got some other amazing guests. I don't know if they'll be as cool as Trey, but we've got some amazing ones coming. We'll see you next time on the Blazorne Trail podcast. See you next time.

Blaze Your Own Trail - The Positive Impact of Fatherhood & Faith with Trey Milner

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