Blind Plea - Deven is Missing

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Episode three: When Deven graduated from high school in Baltimore, she was one of the top students in her class. She got a scholarship to attend Marymount University, and it seemed like she had a bright future ahead of her. But then, she left upstate New York with John and completely disappeared. Resources: If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, use a safe computer and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-7233. You can also search for a local domestic violence shelter at www.domesticshelters.org/. If you have experienced sexual assault and need support, visit the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN) at www.rainn.org or call 1-800-656-HOPE Have questions about consent? Take a look at this guide from RAINN at www.rainn.org/articles/what-is-consent  Learn more about criminalized survival https://survivedandpunished.org/  This series is created with Evoke Media, a woman-founded company devoted to harnessing the power of storytelling to drive social change. This series is presented by Marguerite Casey Foundation. MCF supports leaders who work to shift the balance of power in their communities toward working people and families, and who have the vision and capacity for building a truly representative economy. Learn more at caseygrants.org or visit on social media @caseygrants. Follow host Liz Flock on Twitter @lizflock. For more stories of women and self-defense, check out her book “The Furies” from Harper Books, available for pre-order now. https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-furies-elizabeth-flock Interested in bonus content and behind the scenes material? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium right now in the Apple Podcasts app by clicking on our podcast logo and the "subscribe” button. Click this link for a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and all other Lemonada series: lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Julia Louis-Dreyfus and guess what? I've got a podcast. It's called Wiser than Me and each week I get schooled on life by women who are older and yes, Wiser than Me. Older women are this country's biggest untapped natural resource and I want to hear from them. I want to know what they've learned by living 70 or 80 or 85 years. Jane Fonda, Darling Love, Isabella Ande,

and many more. Subscribe and get wise. Wise it in me. Listen wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, it's Gloria Rivera, host of No One Is Coming To Save Us. We've spent the first two seasons of my podcast examining what's wrong with childcare in America. Now it's time to talk about solutions.

So this year, I'm taking the show on the road. Join me starting June 22nd in partnership with Neighborhood Villages, as we set out to meet the people in your community who are making changes big and small and making America a better place for every family. Subscribe today wherever you get your podcasts. Lemonada. This show contains violent content and scenes of domestic abuse. So when I got to calls late and she said, Dad, I said, what are you doing, Devon? What are you?

I mean, I don't know exactly why I'm at. What state, Alabama? That's Devon's dad, Jean. In 2017, he received a call from Devon out of the blue. By this point, she'd been gone for five years and no one knew exactly where she was. So, Jean was desperate to reconnect with his daughter, and her call came as a shock. She said, I'm on the computer. I'm opening up my own business. blah, blah, blah.

She wants to, she wanted, I guess, she was selling stuff online. Devon and John had started an eBay business selling jewelry and things were looking up. They both quit drinking and Devon says the abuse stopped. But eventually, John relapsed and she says the violence started up again. So when she called her dad in 2017, she was in a really dark place.

That's so, Devon, I miss you so much. Come on, baby. If you don't want to be there, let me come get you. I'm getting the car right now. Tired as I was always late. I'm getting the car right now. I call the police. Tell them to do a wellness check.

And you give me an address? I'll be there. I'll put that stuff in my ways and I'll beat him. Devon didn't tell her father where she was. In part, because she says she didn't feel like she deserved to be saved. But she also worried John would hurt her dad if he drove down to Alabama to get her.

She couldn't tell me. She couldn't tell me twice. But she also worried John would hurt her dad if he drove down to Alabama to get her. She couldn't tell me, she couldn't tell me twice. And that was the last time I heard from her, till she went to jail. This is Blind Plea. I'm your host, Liz Flock. How did Devon lose touch with all her loved ones? And how did she just disappear? From a young age, Devon didn't have a strong sense of home. She never felt tethered to one place.

She lived at her moms, her grandparents, and her dads, drifting from one world to the other. In the end, she slipped right through their fingertips and into John's hands. This past fall, I went to meet her dad, stepmom, and other family members in Baltimore. And what stood out to me most were the parts of Devon that went unseen by everyone. The invisible girl searching for things her family couldn't provide. The parts of Devon that drew her, like a powerful magnet, to John. Hello, hello.

Ah! Ah! Hello, I'm going to go up high. Hi, huh? Good. Hi, Leslie. Hi, Leslie. Hi, hi.

I'm going to put this stuff on. I'm meeting Devon's family for the first time. We're at her aunt Leslie's house, which is cozy with deep couches and warm lamps, and inspirational quotes on the wall, like, good vibes only. As we sit and talk, more family arrives. Devon's dad and two aunts, then her cousin Vincent, her sister Simone, and Simone's five-month-old baby. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new.

I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new.

I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new.

I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I'm new. I's little man. Hi baby. Oh, we get my life here. It's Fenty.

They're teasing her about the makeup she gets inside. No, it's just, it's the dollar store stuff that you make it work. You make it work. I bet you do a lot of make a lot of things work out. Devon's daughter is also there playing noisy games on an iPad. Jean worked hard to get custody of her after the shooting, and she lives with him now. Because she's autistic, she attends a school with specialized programs.

Everyone says she's thriving there. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Say hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy.

Hi Mommy. I love you. I love you. Can I get a kiss? I love you. Can I get a kiss? I love you. No.

Hi Mommy. Hi Mommy. We got five seconds. We have five seconds. Uh oh, I love you. I love you too. We love you. I love you.

After words, we sat around and talked about the Devon. They remembered when she was younger. Um, my mommy's the highest eccentric, whatever. She was so odd. She's always keep to herself and like, go in the woods and talk to the trees and that's Devon's sister Simone when I saw Simone for the first time I saw Devon they've got the same round cheeks radiant smile and fun loving laugh

they also both talk in this childlike way at times like they never got to be kids when Devon was born Simone was eight years old, and over the moon with excitement. Because I was like, yeah, now I can have a real baby doll. I used to just watch her sleep all the time. Devon's parents separated when she was two, and their separation up ended her and her sister's lives. Devon came along when me and my ex-wife broke up, so I really didn't know her like that. As she was growing, I would go visit. Devon's dad, Jean, is a beanpull just like his daughter, well over six feet.

He used to play basketball back in the day, and he's wearing a tracksuit. He's kind and warm in person, but also the kind of guy who does not suffer fools gladly. He's pretty skeptical of me and my producer, Shan Riko, when we first arrive. But as soon as he starts talking about Devon, one thing is clear. He really loves her. I tend to be the most private guy in the planet, but I'm going to open up for my daughter. Jean didn't spend much time with Devon in her early years. After Devon's parents separated, Devon's mom, Kim, gained custody of the girls.

They moved two hours away to the Saratoga area in upstate New York. In a lot of cases, the woman went to Rice for the children. We got this. So I accepted that. So I said as long as I could be in her life so she knows who I am. I let her know how much I love her. So all I can do is that's the only position I was in. The divorce was ugly. Jean left Kim for a new woman named Joan and everyone says Kim tried to turn the kids

against them. Simone even referred to Joan as her evil stepmother. Me and his wife don't get along. That's a whole different private kiss. Devon was more accepting of her new stepmom. She called Joan her stepby with affection. But things changed for the kids and their dad, who eventually moved six hours away to Baltimore. Kim didn't take

the divorce well. She started drinking a lot. Devon sometimes writes about that time in her journal. She says it's a way of making sense of how she got from there, from what she calls her blessed life, to here, in prison. She reads an entry to me. I had everything I could ever want and more, but yet I was lacking the one thing I needed most. My mother and my father. My mother had a good heart, but it was damaged, bruised, and broken. She never recovered from my father's betrayal. She loved me, but it was never enough, never all at once, never what I deserved. My father was the same, only able to show me

when he would get me for visits, but even then he was more of the kind of bad who would be my best buddy, wasn't ever overly affectionate. I always felt alone, left out, not good enough. Devon's parents weren't fully present. Kim was drinking, and her dad was building a life with his new partner. So Devon was sent to live with her maternal grandparents on Saratoga Lake in New York, not far from her mom's house. She was in first grade.

My mom pretty much was like, yeah, you can take Devon away from me because I'm not like really going to be like a mom enough of her or how I felt at the time. Devon's grandparents were attentive, nurturing, and provided a much needed sense of stability. And while her grandmother was her rock, Devon's grandfather was the apple of her eye. Like, grandma was like a saint on earth, but it was like I did something about my grandpa like I just that was my dude you know. Devon's grandfather Alvin was the patriarch of the family. Everyone always went to him for advice. He was unflappable. He just always seemed to have it together. And he was fun, taking all the grandkids to the amusement park and using his savings to build them a new and ground pool.

Alvin was also Devon's best friend. Her grandfather is the one who taught her how to spell, do her multiplication tables, and ride a bike. He always made sure Devon was dressed to the nines, in jumpers and skirts, like she was a little lady. Devon wanted to make him proud. I loved him so much. I guess I put all the love that I couldn't show to my parents in him because he was my parent. When she turned 14, her grandmother passed away and then her grandfather Alvin got sick with prostate cancer. Devvin took care of him.

There was a moment, and I will never forget it, that I went to help him. And I think I had to change his head pad. And he could talk, you know, because the cancer just ate of him so quick. And he was grunting at me. And I heard him say sorry, but he was like, it wasn't pain. He just didn't want me to have to do that. Because he was the strong one.

And I remember that. And I was just like, Grandpa, I love you. There's nothing I would do for you. It's OK, you know. He died when Devon was 16 and she was devastated. I was in third period. And I remember getting like they call into the classroom. And I just remember telling my friends,

please don't let it be for me. Please don't let it be for me. And I just had this gut feeling that it was for me. And when the teacher was like, dad and they need you, I just lost my mind. I started crying. I already knew my sister came and picked me up. And she just threw her hands up at the air.

And I remember like falling to my knees in the middle of hallway at the high school. And she had to come get me and pick me up and I just got the whole way home that day like. When I lost it, it was kind of like. I lost, like, I lost, like, you know, I hate to like cause but I lost my give or fuck, you know. So that's kind of like the spiral for me because it was kind of like a final

hasn't, but I really don't have anybody. When Devon told me this, I felt like I finally understood why she was so vulnerable to someone like John. Of course, there were a lot of reasons, but losing her father figure was so destabilizing. Without a constant home and with low self-esteem, it was the perfect opportunity for someone to take advantage of, for someone to swoop right in. With her grandpa gone, Devon needed a place to land. Her mom was still drinking, so her dad was the next obvious choice. So Devon was sent to Baltimore.

It would be the fifth time she moved from one family member to another. Once her grandparents passed away, and she came back to live with me, she was still good. I mean, I didn't see a change that much, you know? But I didn't know there was a dark side in there because it cheated and shared it. In 2009 at the age of 17,

Devon found herself in a new and unfamiliar world, the big bruising city of Baltimore, which was so much louder and more chaotic than Saratoga. I was so used to like disappointment and I was always like used to like things being taken away from me. So like even though that sounds kind of like different thing, I was kind of just like, I was like really good with the flow. It was a culture shock, but she tried to go with the flow,

like she was used to doing. Devon was starting her last year of high school. It was pretty scary to start all over as a senior. Devon had always been a good student, taking honors classes, making the dean's list. So her dad, Jean, put her in one of the most elite high schools in Baltimore. Western High. It's the kind of school where teachers expect you to get into a top college. Their motto is Western, only the best. In Baltimore, Devon was building new friendships and

spending more time with her dad. But she's still longed for her mom's acceptance and Kim's drinking was getting worse. On visits to Saratoga, her mom got drunk and belligerent and said hurtful things to Devon. Like she would tell her that she was fat or that she wished she had never gotten pregnant with her. Even if she wasn't the best she could be, like she was still my mom, and she still had her moments where she was like,

really legit and I guess I craved that so much that I took the bad with it you know. Devon went looking for affection anywhere she could find it. In Saratoga at the age of 17, she lost her virginity to a guy she barely knew. She had been drunk and instantly regretted it. Devon was caught between two worlds. She was trying to be the straight A clean cut high school senior in Baltimore, but when she visited her mom, sister and Saratoga, she drank and party just like them. She says she was trying to fit in, but in trying to please everyone,

Devon lost herself. Hey, it's me, Sam B. And it's no secret, I'm pro-choice. Yes, that one, but also others. Because I'm not just pro-choice, I'm pro-choice. Yes, that one, but also others. Because I'm not just pro-choice, I'm pro-choice says, those crazy, life-altering decisions that shift our life path and bring us to where we are today. My next choice, starting this new podcast with Lemonada Media called Choice Words, where I interview people I admire

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speaking out about student athlete mental health, I try to just like approach everything with like you don't know what someone's going through to the US defender who travels to tournaments with her young son. Am I ever gonna be able to run for five litigers straight? Check out my new favorite footballista wherever you listen to podcasts. In 2010, Devon graduated high school. Her dad's side of the family came to her graduation, where Devon wore a brand new short-sleeved white dress. Afterwards, Devon decided to move back to Saratoga for the summer break before college. There was less pressure there, and Devon wanted so badly to be close with her mom and sister.

Someone talked to me about their life in Saratoga. They called it the projects of Saratoga. But it wasn't really projects I didn't think. I'd been to some projects, and they were pretty nice. You know, there's just a lot of jacket and party and going around in there. Devon met John just a lot of drunken party angle in there. Devon met John at a house party at our mom's apartment complex.

She was 18, he's like 24. John was commanding everyone noticed him. If he walks in the room, I think he demands the attention type of person, like one of those type. Devon and John had something in common too. Both of their moms would drink. John and his mom Christine lived just behind Devon's family.

They were close. Simone said they called Christine their other mother. They made meals together, they helped take care of each other, and they drank together. You know, we'd all just get drunk, and the back will just square. In John, Devon had found someone who got her. You know, we'd all just get drunk and the back will just square. In John, Devon had found someone who got her. He was white and Devon is black, but neither of them thought much about it.

He knew it was like to grow up around alcohol and to have an absent parent. Plus, John impressed her. He was really smart. He was so smart. And, you know, I could talk to him, you know, in ways that I couldn't talk to anybody. You know, because we were friends. We were actually like really good friends before we got a room at the Clayton Hall. Like, he was almost like my best friend. John was often more handy than anyone else in the room.

He could fix cars, build computers from parts, make furniture and jewelry, and he was handsome. Looking at a picture of John from that time, he kind of reminds me of Channing Tatum, with his muscular build and shaved head, except with more of the bad boy attitude of Eminem. John started buying Devon nice things, expensive clothes, flowers, candy. When he wasn't drunk, he didn't act like a jerk. He was charming, fun, and he was giving Devon the attention she'd always craved. While Devon saw John as a best friend,

Simone felt differently. I knew John first, and I always... always was like, he's such a jerk. But she was a jack at home. He just thought this shit didn't stink, so to speak. Remember, John had a lengthy criminal record. In addition to his alleged assault in jail, and shooting a rifle into the air, he had also gotten arrested for criminal mischief

for breaking objects in someone's house and spent a year behind bars for allegedly attempting to sell cocaine. Because he was wanted by multiple police departments, John tried to keep a low profile. So much that he sometimes did weird things around the neighborhood. He's like sneak into the development because he was wanted by the cops. So he had to put on a little costume and it was funny. He's into that costume. When time you were like a clown, I'm like, how are you hidden with a clown hair going on? Yeah, a clown hair. Yeah, like a wig and some shades.

Not like the colorful kind of clown, but like, you know, just like a wig and some shades. Not like the color for kind of clown, but like, you know, just like a like purple or something. I don't know. It was crazy. I'm like, what are you doing? The clown still was camouflage. So he could get inside his mom's house without being seen by the cops. It was unconventional, but it worked. As the summer wound down, Devon went back to Baltimore to get ready for college. She and John said they're goodbyes and didn't plan to keep in touch. Because even though they understood each other, they assumed it was just a summer fling. A few months prior in the spring of 2010, Devon had graduated in the

top 10 of her elite high school class. She got accepted into a top Catholic college, Marymount University in Arlington, Virginia, which her family says gave her a scholarship to attend. She thought she might become a journalist because she loved to write, and she was good at it. She graduated high on us, got into college, or virtually for free. She went for a year, she did good, and maybe I don't know if it was a year. But anyway, she kind of started backsliding. When Jean says Devon started backsliding, he means drinking.

It's pretty typical for college students to drink and party, but Devon's drinking got bad, intervention bad. He means drinking. It's pretty typical for college students to drink and party, but Devon's drinking got bad. Intervention bad. I was party too much. And yeah, I was still going to class, but I was going to class, I was still like, oh, I was like, come over and I was miserable.

And I wasn't happy at all. She drank so much she got alcohol poisoning. Twice. Both times she blacked out and ended up in the hospital. Now I was just overwhelmed and I don't, I was at my turn. I was like, it's hard as like being able to like make my own decisions and like being an adult.

I just made a lot of poor choices in school. And I started learning, and I started getting more and more into my school and I got a little out of control. I went to the school. I said, I'm a work-tower not to make this happen again, but I can't control what she does. It happened again, so they can't control what she does. It happened to Ken, so they blew it up from school. Devon's the one who called her dad.

They met with the dean and agreed that Devon would leave school because of her drinking. Devon was fine with that because she felt she wasn't ready to be out on her own. It's rare that people are totally mature in college, but Devon felt especially unprepared and out of place. She'd only been doing college to please her family anyway. And of course, I'm crying.

She's crying. Don't be mad. I said, I'm not mad, I'm disappointed. This is an opportunity. I didn't know that alcohol was stronger than your life at this time. I think that my family's expectations for me were so high, but because I saved you my potential, that they didn't realize what kind of pressure they were putting on me. And then the pressure they put on me, I put on myself even more.

Yeah. So once I did that, once I did that, it was just like, it killed me and became. When I met them, I saw that her family was intense. They really valued education, and they had good reason for that. Jean and his sisters grew up in the projects in Brooklyn. And throughout their childhood, they were in survival mode.

Jean told me that crime and death were all around him when he was a kid. He had worked hard to build a different kind of life. So Jean didn't accept anyone doing anything, but their best. Seven, one thing she said is like, my family didn't realize what kind of pressure they were putting on me or like expectations were really high. Do you think that's true or? Part of I could see that because it was high expectations put on me. You always want the best.

I mean, I didn't look at that as like too much. I mean, if she said, Dad, this is what I want to be, I would say, well, I'll help you be that. But I said, just be the best you can be. Now, if she wasn't capable of being what I expected, that's a different conversation. Well, you're always going to have eye expectations for any child, any person. I have eye expectations of you, and I don't even know you. Back under her dad's roof in Baltimore, Devon started to fall apart.

Baltimore, Devin started to fall apart. I didn't want to go out and do anything, but then it was like a counter reaction because even though I was depressed, I'm not going to want to go out and do anything, not going out and do anything, made me depressed. Her dad noticed she was depressed and tried to get her help. I took her for psychological counseling. So at some point, you said, I think she's fine. She was not fine, but the counselor didn't see anything wrong. Devon was 19 by this time, and a college dropout.

She felt like a total failure. At her age, her dad had excelled at both school and basketball. Meanwhile, she couldn't even get out of bed. There were some deep-seated issues going on, obviously. But I couldn't address it. Didn't know how. There's certain things she won't share with me. Which is fine, because I'm a guy.

So I get that. But so I never knew it was all in her heart, if that makes sense. She felt like she couldn't open up to her dad, not with all his high expectations. Jean didn't understand all that she was going through, so he gave her an ultimatum. I told her that she's not going to school, she has to work. I took her to the jobs, retail stores. I said, I want to see if

this gives an impetus to say, I don't want to do this. I want to go to college because I said, we'll get you to another college. That's not only college. Nothing happens. So finally she said, I'm going to take a break I need a break. And I said to myself, a break from what? You haven't been doing anything, but I ain't wanna say that to her. And so in July 2011, after talking to her mom and sister in Saratoga, Devin decided to take that break, to leave her dad's house and go back to live with them. And she got in the car, she gave me a kiss in the hug, so I'll see you a little while, Dad. But Jean had a sinking feeling she was running toward trouble.

I said, OK, honey. I know I wouldn't see you again. No, like I said, I was the last time I saw it, when she left. Hello, how you doing? I'm my president, host of the Warrzmah mine podcasts and the Lemonada Media Network. A podcast about how we can better take care of our heads in the head-melted chaos of the modern world, and each week we'll be exploring the beauty and the beast that is our minds, so lend us your ears and see if we can help you make better sense of it all. And I'll be joined by some of the biggest global thinkers and leaders to discuss the end

and out's ups and downs of the human condition and looking forward to getting to know you. Think about a moment that changed you. A time when you look back and realize, one day I was myself and the next, I wasn't. I'm Stephanie Whittles-Wax, host of the show, Last Day. On our previous seasons, we've explored deep, complex societal issues like opioids and suicide and guns. This season, we are throwing the script out the window and giving you the listeners the microphone.

Each week on the new season of Last day, I sit down with a new guest to explore happy sad stories of survival, resilience, and transformation. Together, we unpack the lightning bolt moment that changed them fundamentally and forever, and how they learned to move through it. Listen to last day wherever you get your podcasts. In Saratoga, Devon once again filled her days partying with Kim and Simone. She says she went a little off the rails, stealing alcohol from CVS and gas stations with her friends. One time, she and Simone got into a physical fight

while drunk, and the cops were called. And as Devon began drinking more, Simone says, she rekindled her relationship with John. She'd be over there at John's house, you know, and I'd be like somewhere else. I'm like, okay, we got a black girl, we're getting too sassy. In these streets. As John would Devon, Simone saw more red flags than him. Once he grabbed Simone's arm at a party so hard it bruised her, though Simone brushed it off at the time as no big deal.

She did notice that Devon was becoming distant. They hung out less often because Devon was always with John. Little by little, it was just like, I hardly seen her, but I would talk to her. I would be like, Devon, you know, don't just check it in. Make sure you don't believe in, you know, mom needs us.

Just like Jean, Simone was worried that something was shifting in Devon, that maybe she'd even leave Saratoga with John. Simone tried to keep Devon close. That New Year's Eve in 2011, Simone and Devin had made plans to hang out. But it never happened. Instead, Simone caught a DWI and spent the night in jail. When she got out, Devin was gone. Before John convinced Devon to go to Alabama, he asked her to run away with him to New York City. It happened that New Year's Eve, while Simone was away getting arrested.

Devon was 19 at the time, and she had all of the reasons to run, to make a great escape, to experience the outside world. John sent a friend to pick her up. Because of his pending charges, he wasn't staying at his mom's and he didn't want to be seen there. At first, I didn't think I was going to go because I'm scared and I was really nervous. But one time in that decision, it was very impulsive.

And it was one of those things that were literally in the middle when I, you know, they just packed them up and put B in the car. It just didn't seem like it was going to take me down to the path, but it just didn't, I didn't see it being so serious. Devon thought this would just be a detour, that it would give her some breathing room from her feeling of failure for a while, and that John would take care of her, that he would give her a home. But that's not what happened.

As soon as he got her away from her family, she says the relationship changed. In New York City, she and John started fighting. She says that's where John hit her for the first time. It didn't hurt as much as it just advised me, because I've never been hit like that before. They were arguing and then Devon remembers that she said something he didn't like, and that's when he smacked her in the mouth.

I didn't realize, you know, what I had to run, to deserve it, other than I just, I guess I just ran my mouth, and it was punishing me for it. And then of course, like the next thing, he was so sorry and he was never going to do it again. And, you know, and then maybe a peak later, we had another like, you know, it happened again. He told her he was sorry and would never do it again. But then, Devon said, he did. Over and over. Then more sorry is following the usual abuser's pattern.

She wondered if this was all her fault, that she was failing at the relationship, at keeping him happy, just like she had failed at everything. Devon said that as the abuse ramped up, John also cut her off from the world. She couldn't check her Facebook, couldn't make phone calls, couldn't go anywhere. I have pretty much had to say in the room that we slept in all the time.

Like I didn't get to go, come out, get to do nothing." They were living at John's aunt's house, and Devon says John didn't want her leaving the bedroom. She says she was surprised by John's abuse and control at first, then scared, and then ashamed. This all reminds me of reporting I've done on human trafficking. Trafficking and domestic abuse are closely linked. Devon's case doesn't meet the strict definition of trafficking. He wasn't making money off of her, but there are a lot of similarities. In trafficking, the perpetrators often do nice things at first, like showering a person with attention, gifts, and false promises, just

like Devon says John did. But then, abuse begins, often after they've been isolated from their family and friends, or any ability to get help. As Devon found herself sinking into John's isolation, those closest to her worried about where she'd gone. Devon says John wouldn't let her have a phone in New York. With her number not working, people tried to get in touch with her through Facebook. I called my mom and she was like, yeah, your sister took off in the middle of the night. You can't find your sister. We didn't know where she was at.

We didn't even know. I know all I know is Kim was looking for her. So that's the only way I know. Kim wanted to know where her baby was. That's Devon's aunt Leslie, whose house we visited in Baltimore. Leslie says Devon's mom Kim really wanted to find her, but she never did reconnect with her daughter, because Kim unfortunately died of cirrhosis

a few years after Devon left with John. Simone kept trying to find Devon too. She posted to Devon's Facebook page throughout 2012, trying different tactics to get Devon to respond. Hey, this I can't wait to have you in my life. Hey, Dev, just drop in the line. I miss you. Hey, Dev. I'm going to punch you in the neck. Hope you ain't in some sort of trouble. Pick up you. Hey, Dev. I'm gonna punch you in the neck. Hope you ain't in some

sort of trouble. Pick up the phone and Devon Marie. How are you at me? Love you so much. Come on, Dev. This is getting ridiculous. She got angry warning her sister not to abandon their mom. At one point Simone even posted to Devon's page that she was getting married. Oh, by the way, I'm getting married and you're invited to proming. And still, nothing, no reply. Simone's expected Devon may have run away with John, so she kept asking John's mom Christine

if she knew where they went. But she says Christine told her no. Devon's best friend, Kiera, also noticed something was off. The brother of my neighbor, he passed away. So I reached out to let her know that, and she didn't respond, and I'm like, okay, no, something's off because she would care about this. But she didn't have access to the internet at that point.

And when I realized like something was wrong, I went back to her Facebook and saw her family posting like trying to get her to reach out to them and I'm like, oh, so she cut everybody off. What the hell's going on? I'm also that FBI friend. If you need to find someone I can, but I couldn't find her anywhere, which is concerned the hell out of me because it's not difficult for me to do that, but I couldn't find anything.

Over the years, her friends and family continued to post to her Facebook page. No one knew she was in Alabama. Does she have a new Facebook event trying to? If any of Devin Gray's friends see this. Call me, darling. I will come and get you no matter where. Auntie loves you to the moon and beyond. When I asked Devin's family in Baltimore about when she disappeared, I was surprised to

learn that no one filed a missing persons report. But they told me they didn't think the cops could or would do anything. And for good reason. Even though black girls go missing at a disproportionate rate to white girls, they typically get less attention from the cops and the media. Police also wrongly categorize many missing black girl cases as runaways, when really they are the victims of abuse or trafficking or worse. As for Devin, she was now over 18, and her family had a feeling she might not want to be found. And you might be thinking, her family still could have done more to find her.

But what were they supposed to do exactly? Devon said John was good at making sure she was never reachable for long. When I talked to her family, it was clear that this was a sore subject for them, especially her dad, Jean. He felt like he couldn't do anything about his daughter totally disappearing, that he had no control. Well, it's almost say this again. Yeah, and I'm sorry I keep asking you.

It's the same question in different ways, like a lawyer. So, this is the thing. There was a lot of things I did not know. Yeah. Because when a child is 18, you can't stop them. Or I get arrested for abduction. So go ahead, honey. If you feel like you need a break, go ahead.

See you when you get back. I knew there was trouble. Come on. People tend to run the trouble sometime. At some points, while we talked, Jean seemed to blame Devon. At other points, he blamed himself. As a dad, you always wanted to protect your children.

Now, I couldn't protect her, because I didn't know where she was. As a dad, you always wanted to protect your children. And I couldn't protect her, because I didn't know where she was. It was like all these years later, he still didn't know how to feel. How can you find someone? How can... when Alabama's not like, uh... Yeah. The state of Alabama. The state of Alabama.

How can you find someone where you don you have no idea what they are? Did she even call me to tell me she was okay? I was kind of angry inside for her. She's not trying to reach out secretly. You know, secretly grab the phone and call and... Like, I pretty much greets her at that point, because I didn't think she was coming back. to come back. Although Devon had a phone in Alabama, she says John monitored her communications and repeatedly warned her not to contact her family.

So Devon didn't for years. But then in 2017, Devon made a call to her dad, Jean. The phone call you heard about at the start of this episode. It had been five years since the last time they spoke. Jean said she sounded drunk on the call. At this point in Alabama, Devon was isolated, only sleeping a few hours a night, having nightmares and not leaving the house.

So I said, how come it gets you no day at all? Leslie told me, we both go get it. I said, Devon, you drinkin' Dad, no. Leslie told me, we both go get him. I said, Devon, you drink it now. I can't talk to you like this. I want to help you, but you don't want my help. So I hung up. She called back. So Devon, I need to come get you, baby, because you wouldn't call me if you weren't happy.

Devon died star 68 before calling her dad so that he couldn't call her back. Jean got a couple more calls from Devon over the next few months, but the calls were always brief and always cryptic. After one of the calls, she says, John found out what she had done and beat her. She told me it was worth it to hear her dad's voice. One time she forgot to dial star 68. Jean called her back immediately.

John saw the call and got angry, she says. Shortly after that, Devon says John changed her number. And then no one could reach her again. Except there was one person who Devon confided in and that person was John's mom, Christine. All the while, as Devon says John became more controlling, Devon stayed in contact with Christine. They would talk on the phone all the time. I actually called her while I was in the detectives car. She said, first, when I called, and I told her, I just said, I'm so sorry. She said, oh my god, I knew this was going to happen. I said, oh, I should have gone to the baby.

She was like, remorseful. The morning of December 12th, 2017, as Devon was still processing what had happened. She made a call to Christine to tell her that her son was dead. To tell her she was the one who had killed him. She felt like Christine might understand because she says Christine witnessed the abuse. That's next time on Blind Plei. I think my son has always been attracted to girls who are needing to be saved. Who was John Henry Vance?

Well, unpack the boy from Alabama and the man who was killed and will meet the woman who raised him, Christine. And if it is at the point that my son is putting his hands on you, get the fuck out of there. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, use a safe computer and contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at thehotline.org or call 1-800-799-7233. or call 1-800-799-7233.

There is more Blind Plei with Lemonada Premium. Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus content, like an interview with John's dad Henry, and more excerpts from Devon's detective interview the night of the shooting. Subscribe now in Apple podcasts. Blind Plei is a production of Lemonada Media. I'm your host, Liz Flock. This episode was produced by Shanrika Evans.

Hannah Boomer-Shine and Rachel Pilgrim are also our producers. Kristen LePore is our senior producer. Tony Williams is our associate producer. Story editing by Martina Abraham's Illunga. Mix music and sound designed by Andrea Christen Stodder with additional mixing and engineering from Ivan Kuraiv. Naomi Bar is our fact checker. Jala Everett is our production intern. Jackie Danziger is our vice president of narrative content. Executive

producers are Stephanie Whittles-Wax, Jessica Cordova-Kramer, evoke media, and Sabrina Mirage-Nayin, and myself Liz Flock. This series was co-created with evoke media and presented by Marguerite Casey Foundation. Help others find our show by leaving us a rating and writing a review. Follow me at Liz Flock, and for more stories of women and self-defense, check out my book, The Furies, from Harper Books, available for pre-order now. Find Lemonada at Lemonada Media across all social platforms, and follow Blind Plea wherever you get your podcasts, or listen ad-free on Amazon Music with your Prime Membership. Thanks so much for

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