Blind Plea - Listen Now: Being Trans

Episode Date: February 14, 2025

We’re dropping something special in your feed this week- we’re reexploring BEING Trans. BEING Trans was the first series of its type when it premiered in 2022- it’s reality TV for your ears. No scripts, no interviews, just real life as it happens. The show follows four trans people as they go about their lives in Los Angeles. You’ll be there for the highs and the lows, the messy, complicated, beautiful moments that make us who we are. Trans people don’t often get to tell their own stories, in their own voices, on their own terms. That’s why this show is so important. They’re not here to explain themselves or justify who they are. They’re just letting you in—to listen, to experience, to understand. We’re about to play you an episode from BEING Trans, featuring Chloe, a trans woman who recently transitioned and is very inexperienced with dating, so much so that she's not even sure about her sexuality but is hoping to change all of that in LA. This is BEING Trans. To hear the full series, search for BEING Trans where you are listening right now, or head to https://lemonadamedia.com/show/beingSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hi, I'm Reshma Sajjani, founder of Girls Who Code. Look, I'd consider myself a pretty successful adult woman. I've written books, founded two successful nonprofits, and I'm raising two incredible kids. But here's the thing. I still wake up wondering, is this it? And if the best years are yet to come, when's that going to start? Join me on my so-called midlife, my new podcast with Lemonada Media, where we're building

a playbook for navigating midlife, one episode at a time. Each week, I'll chat with extraordinary guests who've transformed their midlife crisis into opportunities for growth and newfound purpose. At some point, we all ask ourselves, is there more to life? I'm here to discover how to thrive in my second act, right alongside you. My so-called midlife is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Erica Badon. I'm the CEO of Food52. I used to be the CEO of Barstool Sports, and I am very excited that I'm launching a podcast. This is a new podcast that navigates the highs, lows, and in-betweens of that very thing that consumes all of our days, work. Join me every week as I candidly share my thoughts on what's great about work, what's terrible about work, and what you need to know to make work work for you.

Work is out now, available wherever you get your podcasts. LEMONADA. Hey, LEMONADA listeners. Today, we're dropping something special in your feed. I'm Chloe, and welcome to Being Trans. When this series first premiered in 2022, it was the first of its kind. Reality TV for your ears. No scripts, no interviews, just real life as it happens. And now, in 2025, it's more

necessary than ever. On Being Trans, you'll follow me and three other trans people, Jeffrey, Mariana, and Sai, as we navigate our lives in Los Angeles. You'll be there for the highs and the lows, the messy, complicated, beautiful moments that make us who we are. In a time when trans people are too often spoken about rather than listened to, being trans is different. This show isn't about debates or headlines. It's about real people living real lives. You'll hear us as we figure out our careers, our relationships, our families, our health, everything that comes with just being.

Stories like ours matter because representation isn't just about visibility. It's about understanding. It's about creating space for people to be seen for who they truly are. And that's exactly what this show does. You're about to listen to the first episode of Being Trans. To hear the series in full, search for Being Trans wherever you're listening right now, or click the link in the episode notes. My name is Chloe Corcoran.

I'm Cy Clarke Chan. My name is Mariana Marroquin. I'm Jeffrey Jay and I identify as a trans man, trans woman, trans woman. I am transgender and non-binary. A few months ago, a documentary crew started following me and a few other trans friends around, navigating everything from family, relationships, work, and more. There was always a story worth telling. That's what you're about to hear.

You'll witness moments alongside us and you'll get into our heads. On this episode, we follow Chloe. It's because I have so little experience in the dating world for the most part, and I'm just open to all kinds of people. And we also follow Jeff. Oh my God, have you not seen that everybody's getting married right now? This is Being Trans. Be right there.

Hey, how are you? So good to see you. My name is Chloe Corcoran. I am a 39-year-old trans woman from Rochester, New York, working in higher education in Los Angeles, California. Oh my god, your place is so nice. You watching sports? I am.

I have a baseball game on. Sorry, the place is not- I'm still relatively new to LA, and Mariana, who's stopping by tonight, is one of my first friends here. And she's introduced me to some other trans people here through her meet-up circle. And they've been really important in helping me acclimate to my new city. I got you something, look. Oh my gosh.

What is this? Makeup. We can play with makeup. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much. Oh my gosh. This is fun. Like I'm seeing you right now and I'm thinking like when we go out, maybe just a smoky eye

and maybe lips kind of like a nude but very like glossy. Like, I'm seeing you right now, and I'm thinking like when we go out, maybe just a smoky eye, and maybe lips, kind of like a nude, but very like glossy. Ooh, I haven't done gloss, and I haven't done the wings either, but I'd like to try both. I have those, and make you feel like so ready to go out. Oh, nice. Like a superhero. Yeah. So how was your week?

Last night we had this party. Yay! And that's why I'm recovering. I'm still like, oh my god. It was fun, but it was a lot of love, a lot of hugs. Yeah. A lot of good looking guys around. Yes, shirtless over there. Getting better.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever go out? I've gone out by myself a few times. Okay. Just because I don't know as many people here. So hoping to change that. Are you open to meet people? Yeah.

I am. I'm trying to meet people. I'm on a lot of dating apps and things like that. But I guess I grew up with an idealized version of what dating would be like. But I didn't date for so long. While I was not dating, people moved into a swipe culture or things moving a lot more quickly date for so long. While I was not dating, people moved into like a swipe culture or

things moving a lot more quickly than maybe I was prepared for or used to, especially you know when I was first transitioning and things like that. So it's been interesting to think about but like that one hit me hard. I was like oh the whole dating game has changed and I kind of missed out on it. Yeah. Before I came out publicly, I didn't really see a romantic future because I wasn't being myself and I wasn't being true to myself and I guess one of the reasons I ventured out to Los Angeles is because I am hoping to date and find a partner. On the flip side, dating as a trans person has been incredibly difficult. I'll match with people and then they'll read my profile and they'll quickly unmatch. Or I'll be talking with someone like a guy or a girl,

and they'll be like, do you want to get together? I was like, yeah, let's meet up for a drink. They're like, cool, your place? I'm like, no. I would rather go out for a drink or coffee or something like that, just to like get to know somebody a little bit. Yeah, I mean dating is,

sometimes they're very open about like, you know, dating trans people and sometimes they don't want other people to know. Mm-hmm. So you never know. And I struggle with that a lot. I really do. People get it on an intellectual level, like,

okay, yes, trans people are real, their experiences are valid. And then it gets down to another level where people aren't willing or ready to confront their attraction to trans people. And that's part of what makes dating so hard. Yeah, because all these murders and everything that happened, like many times they start dating and they hate the fact that they love or attracted to a trans person.

I mean, like I believe that being trans in these days is like people, at least people know what's going on. Like before you had to make this whole explanation about it. Now I think people like are more aware I Think there's more more options out there Dating as a trans person is hard and another thing that's layered on top of that is that I'm still trying to figure out my sexuality Which I guess is kind of open-ended,

even though I never would have admitted that before transitioning. All of this is pretty intimidating, and I'm hoping that a city as progressive as Los Angeles is the right place to figure this out. It's a lot of work. So much work! Yeah. I mean, I always think like nobody's gonna knock on your door and say like, hey, can I take you out?

That is yet to happen to me. That is yet to happen to anyone I know Yeah, you need to be out there. Yeah, and have that energy keep it open. Yeah, that was me last night. I was very open Very open. Yeah, yeah. That's awesome. Hi everyone. I'm Jessica J. Thanks for coming out tonight. I'm transgender. That's what I am. It means I was a girl and now I'm a I was a girl, and now I'm a...

I took some testosterone, and now I'm a child. So... This is Jeffrey. I am on the road doing a string of shows on the college circuit. I've got four shows in 48 hours, and I've gotten, what, two done now, and I have two more left. I'm gonna do like a little Q&A thing.

If you can ask me a question that I've never heard yelled at me before, I'll give you $100. Let's start with you. Have you had any surgeries? That's an awesome question. I haven't had top surgery, so I still have the boys. I call them the boys.

Don't gender my tits. What makes me different is that I have kind of a comedy Q&A where I challenge them to ask me questions about being trans. The students like it because they get to make the show whatever they want it to be. This week is definitely one of the busiest ones I've had in a while, but at least college kids keep it interesting. What I'm going to do is I'm going to go to Mardi Gras and I'm going to flash dudes all fucking night.

Because in my mind a bunch of frat dudes waking up in the morning and being like dude were we that drunk or did that small boy child have really nice tits I can hear you. can you hear me? I can hear you. Can you hear me? Yes, I can hear you. Yay. Me and my girlfriend Emma are navigating

a long distance relationship right now because she is currently studying to be a helicopter pilot. So living long distance is hard enough as it is, but then with touring and being on the road all the time, it's hard to kind of match up schedules and just make time for each other. But I try to always catch her between gigs. Well, the show went really well tonight.

That's good. Yeah, it was good. It was actually a totally decent turnout for what it was. It was like 45 people. And then... It went awesome. The people who booked me were super nice. I warned them that, hey, it might get awkward.

And they were like, we love awkward. So it was really fun. And now I'm navigating through the college town and all of its little roundabouts Because it's hip and it's a college town and they got roundabouts And trying to get back to the highway so that I can fly out and I don't know what five hours But I've got a two-hour drive back to the airport. I've got to drop the Rental car off and it's not enough time Even though they gave me a hotel room for tonight,

I don't have enough time to stay there. So instead I'm gonna go to the airport and I was going to try and like sleep there, but this airport closes from like 20 to five. The life of a comic is, it's insane. And while I know it and I've done it a lot, it never really gets easier. That's right, yeah.

I do have to go find a place in fill up so they don't charge me out the wazoo for gas at the rental car place. All right. All right, well, I love you so much, Baby Cakes. Love you too, I'll talk to you later. All right. All right. Well, I love you so much, baby cakes. Love you too. I'll talk to you later. All right. Bye. Okay.

So this is recording. That's good. This is Chloe, and I'm going to set my phone down here. I am putting on makeup, the makeup that Mariana gave me, because I have a blind date tonight. One of my work colleagues set me up with someone she knows, another trans woman named Eve, and that is literally all I know about her.

So we're gonna head to a restaurant up the street. Of course I wanna smell good. A blind date, honestly honestly is a bit intimidating but I like that we're meeting in a more organic fashion as opposed to being swiped right or left in most cases on an app. But I think it's gonna be good. I you know I'm planning for the best. I'm hoping for the best. So wish me luck y'all. Hello. Good, how are you tonight? I'm all set with water and just waiting for my date.

Okay, thank you. Hello. Hi. How are you? I'm Chloe. Eve. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Eve walks up and sure enough she's gorgeous, which makes me more nervous. So, uh, can I get you guys something to drink? Yeah, it's the, what, the pumpkin harvest they call it.

And I will do the Florida Selle. How are you tonight? Hey, well, how you doing? Good. Did you find it okay? Yeah, now I got here, right? Yeah, I'm in Sotel, so not that far away. Oh, good, good, good.

I'm just a few miles that way. All right. Nice. Okay, thanks. I don't know the highways that well here yet. I know that 405 and 5 are big highways, but I don't know where they go. Yeah. I know where they go, I I don't know where they go. Yeah. I know where they go, I just don't know their names.

Yeah. Uh. Oh, we'd be a good pair then. I know the names, you know where they go. Oh, there we go. Yeah, we'll make it work. I'll drive a new Navigate. I do that one.

Okay. That's me. Thank you. Which means this must be here. Yes, thank you. Cheers. Um. How was your day?

Good. Working. I work in entertainment. I don't know, it's fun. I have a really nice boss. She's great. That's awesome. That helps a lot.

Yeah, so how about you? So I work for Emory University, which is in Atlanta. And I do their West Coast Alumni Relations. And I go to school too. What are you studying? I'm studying higher education leadership. Mainly I just wanted to make my brother call me doctor. And he says that he won't. But if I get the degree he kind of has to. I guess I technically have a doctorate but not a doctorate. So a law degree. What made you decide to go to law school? Oh, well, I originally wanted to do LGBTQ rights law. Uh-huh. And so yeah, I went to law school at that

time. It was like rat-dragging him out. So I was like, you know, I want to like help the community and you know. Oh, very cool. Yeah, so no one calls me doctor. I don't think I have that ability. I think a lot about whether it'd be ideal to end up with another trans woman just because there are so many shared experiences and an understanding of the things that we go through that can be hard to explain to a cis person sometimes. Are you from LA? No, I moved here from DC back in July.

So not that long. Yeah, not long at all. That's where I grew up in Virginia. Oh, okay. I don, yeah. Not long at all. So I grew up in Virginia. Oh, okay. I don't have any family there. My family's all back in my hometown, like, everyone is back, which is Rochester, New York.

Oh, Rochester, nice. I don't know that any of my family has ever left, actually. I think I'm the first one. Oh, really? I think I'm the first queer one, and I think I'm the first one to leave. Yeah. I wonder if they're related. I am. I'm the first in one, and I think I'm the first one to leave. Yeah. I wonder if they're related.

I am, I'm the first in a lot of ways for my family. I am, yeah, well, I'm definitely the first one to come out here to the West Coast. And like the first, yeah, like date person in my family, and the first person to go to college. Oh, cool. Yeah, my family, I don't know what your family's like, but some of my family's like very Trump town. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know what your family is like, but some of my family is like very Trump

town. Oh yeah. Yeah, I don't see much of my family. I see my dad a little bit, and then my sister I guess, I'll see her a little bit. My brother and I have come a long way. My dad is quite conservative and very Catholic. My dad I think had the hardest time. Although, I'll say my dad's come around.

You know, it took him like a year or so. Okay. Yeah, I generally don't talk a lot about trans stuff. I don't either a ton. Yeah, right now, that's nice to have. You're easy to talk to, too. Huh? You're easy to talk to.

Yeah, yeah. It is a little bit easier. Going into this, I was really nervous about how I'd even react. Would I be awkward? Because sometimes I default to that. So far, I think the date's going well. We, again, have some shared experiences and some things to talk about and seems to be relatively easy.

Well, this was really fun. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Let's exchange information. about and seems to be relatively easy. Well, this was really fun. Yeah, oh, sorry. Let's exchange information. Okay, great. Well, here, I'll get your phone number and then... Yeah, I'll give you mine. And I'll text you and you'll have my stuff. Great.

Awesome. Got it. Well, shall we? Yeah. Well, here, let's... It was so nice to meet you. You too. Thank you so much. Well, I'm looking forward to hanging out we? Yeah. Okay, let's, it was so nice to meet you. You too, thank you so much. Well, I'm looking forward to hanging out again.

Yeah. All right. Anyway, stay home safe. Sounds good. All right, you too. Yeah, anyway, have a good night. Okay, you too. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. So I think the date went well. She's a great person. I'm excited to see where this goes. And yeah, I was nervous, but now I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy.

I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. I'm'm late. I was like, I've never driven in Los Angeles rain before and apparently no one else knows how. It's really weird. It's been like twice as long. I'm back in LA and my good friend Teresa's coming over tonight. And I'm honestly exhausted from the last round of shows, but like really looking forward

to seeing a familiar face. Although this is a random thing, but at some point tonight, if you want to go grab dessert, I'd be down to go grab like a slice of pie or something. Oh my God, that would be amazing, yes. Dessert is the best. Cause when I feel like I'm super overworked or busy, like I just remember she's a doctor and like 18 other things.

So she's the person I can bitch to about how busy we both are. I got in at like 2 a.m. last night from all those shows. What was it like on tour? I don't know. It's really rough. You go by yourself, you fly by yourself, you get a rental car by yourself,

you get a hotel by yourself. I think, I don't know, stand-up is great, but I don't feel like it's a forever thing. Oh wow. Well and how, like when do you think that switched for you? Where you were like, I don't wanna do this anymore? I think about six or seven years in is when I started to feel so lonely on the road.

It's when my alcoholism got the worst of the worst. Well, you were doing like, I remember you told me you were doing, you were like traveling for weeks at a time, right? Oh my gosh. That's the worst part of it. Being on the road is already crappy enough. You're the only one to keep yourself accountable and sober when you're traveling and on the road. But then add on that you're trans and you're traveling to small cities. Some of them aren't as progressive as Los Angeles and

I'm being super honest on stage about being trans. Just wears on you a lot. I just am not as happy on the road doing comedy anymore. I mean, honestly, I don't know. It's really hard because every time I try to leave stand-up, it feels like an opportunity comes that kind of pulls me back in. You're doing what you love and people are loving what you're doing and you see the reactions. Secondly, it really was like being able to give back and do comedy at the same time. I get that. So I would do typically an hour show,

then I would do the 30 minute Q&A. Okay. And then I also said on stage, if you were too shy also to come up to me after the show, I completely understand. And those are the times where, like, people after meeting me sometimes cried and dealt with their problems

or learned stuff about being trans. Huh. Yeah. I had this show that I'll never, ever forget. I did a regular show on a college campus, and I got a message after I was done that said, hey Jeffrey, I am the 45 year old man who was at your

show yesterday and I want to let you know I have always truly felt like a woman. And... for an hour and a half yesterday, for the first time in 45 years... I felt normal. So it was important to me that I go to any town. If something were to happen, it didn't matter. Being willing to be that person is really important to me. This person reached out to me. They're just looking for an outlet and someone to talk to.

And so you can be there for them for a second, but like, you know, they're still dealing with their, when you leave, they're still dealing with their own lives in a small town, so. That sounds really hard. It's a lot to put on you, yeah? Yeah. In the depths of an Atlanta forest, a clash between activists and authorities ended in tragedy.

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Good, thanks. Emily is one of my friends from home who I really trust. She gives great advice and has a lot of insight that not many people have. So last we talked, I knew you had gone on a date, right? And then what happened since then? So, um, I mean, she decided that we wouldn't see each other again. Oh, oh, oh, oh. But it's actually fine because she gave me the best reason for it. And she said that she's only into masculine women,

and I don't fit that. And I was like, oh, I'm actually okay with that. Oh my gosh, Chloe, that was so cool. I was kind of surprised to hear back from Eve that she just wanted to be friends. And I totally get where she's coming from and why. But if I'm being honest with myself, it still feels kind of like rejection.

So, okay, so then what's the next step then? So I've been talking to this guy from a dating app and we've just been chatting and kind of joking around a little bit and he seems pretty interesting, so. Did he ask you out? Like, are you gonna meet him? So he asked me to go get a drink

and this is like the first time that somebody was like hey want to do something and that doesn't happen a lot so I'm excitedly nervous. Wait so his idea was to meet you in public then? Yes he was like yeah we can grab a drink and I was like awesome. Okay good. Okay go for it then. Go for it! I'm always a little nervous. I... Well, of course, but it's in public and you have your phone on you. One silver lining of being on all these apps is that I'm still talking to some interested and interesting people. The one where I've gotten the most interest is actually from a cisgender guy, which I don't know, like I want to be incredibly careful because there's always some kind of violence

being done towards trans women and a lot of it is from cis men. But it was his idea to meet up and it was his idea to meet up in public, which makes me feel a little bit safer. You know, also this would be my first time going out with a guy and that's a whole thing. To be fair, my experience is only going out with guys.

I mean, what makes you most nervous, do you think? I just, it's so new. Like, I have no experience. I don't know what I'm doing. I mean, are you considering it though, because you think you should? You know, like, you're a woman and that's the expectation from our society?

Or are you actually like pursuing this person because he is interesting to you and you were attracted to him? Why are you gonna ask the hard questions? I'm sorry. I know I do that to you and you were attracted to him. Why are you going to ask the hard questions? I'm sorry. I know I do that to you all the time. I know, but it's really good for me because now I actually have to think about it. Sure, that's true. I don't exactly know what I want or like, so I'm not really in a position

where I feel like I want to turn anyone down just based on gender. It makes me think a lot about gender dynamics in general, like how different it might feel different for you to be engaging with a guy instead of a woman. Yeah, and it'll be really interesting to see how that works out in person. Like how you handle it, yeah. I'm glad that it's in public.

You tell me when you're going to be there and then you can let me know how it goes. You're going to be great. Thank you. Bye. Bye. MUSIC Hey, Jeffrey.

Thanks for getting on this call with me. I'm Jessica. I'm the showrunner. How are you doing? I'm good. Thanks, Jessica. Good. You got a dog.

You're such a good dog. A friend of mine put me in for an assistant gig in a TV writer's room, and amazingly, I have gotten to the interview stage. Your resume has come to me and looks like you've been busy. I wanted to be a TV writer since before I wanted to be a comedian, but I put it on hold. I started doing standup and standup took off and I could make my living doing it. Landing any job at all in a TV writer's room

would be the perfect way for me to step away from the college comedy circuit. And I just wanted to talk with you a little bit more about what you've been up to, why you think you're a good fit here. And yeah, just tell me about yourself. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.

And yeah, I have been busy. I was a comedian for the past 10 years professionally on the college circuit? Uh-huh. If you had to name one of your weaknesses, what would it be? One of my weaknesses right now would probably be inexperience. While I have worked a lot of admin jobs, I don't know the ins and outs of TV writing and there will be a touch of a learning curve, but I will tell you that I will read everything that comes my way. I will spend extra time on things, but that being said, I am coming in a bit green. So,

I don't know something that someone else might already know. I believe you can create your own reality, but the reason I believe that is because I work really hard. I wake up super early, I stay up late, I make time for the things that matter, and I set myself deadlines. Awesome. Just what I do.

Well, thank you so much. I guess what I need to know from you is what your availability looks like. I'm seeing a handful of more people in the position, but if we get back in touch with you within a week, is that okay for you? Absolutely. My availability is 100%. I am game and you have me as much as you want or need me. I thought that interview went super well, but it might just be me because I want this

so badly. Everything's very competitive, so I honestly have no idea. Thank you so much. We'll be in touch. No problem. All right. Bye bye Jessica. All right. Thank you. Bye. Okay, Jeff. That wasn be in touch. No problem. All right, bye bye Jessica. Thank you, bye.

Okay Jeff, that wasn't so bad. Hi, welcome. Hi. A couple menus here for you. Is it just you? No, somebody else is showing up. Okay, well I'll leave this right here and I'll check back in a little bit. So I just got to the restaurant for our date and I have my usual butterflies, of course, but I'm really looking forward to connecting with somebody new. Do we want to put any appetizer or anything like that while we wait? I'm going to wait just for a minute to see when he gets here. Okay, great. I'll check that. Okay. Thank you Okay Ready to order you sure you don't want anything? Um, yeah, you know what? I will. I'll have, um, I'll have the, the, the Belgian wheat.

Belgian wheat, got it. And he should be here shortly. And you want a pint, right? A pint, um, so it's been about 15 minutes. Is it too soon to take a break? Hello? Hey, how's it going? Hey, it's going okay. Did you get your drink? I, um, so it's been about 15 minutes. Is it too soon to text him? Like, I don't want to be clingy or annoying, but... He hasn't checked in with you to say, hey, I'm running late or something came up or...

I would say wait a little bit longer. It's only been 15 minutes. Okay. So the traffic can be wonky. Like, give it a little bit of time. Okay. I'm sorry, I'm running late. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's only been 15 minutes. Okay. So the traffic can be wonky, like, give it a little bit of time. Okay. We don't need that. I'm just going to top your water off. You're so good here, yeah? Um, actually, um, can I have the check? Yeah, of course. I'll get that right up.

Thank you. I am absolutely humiliated. I've been sitting at this table for 30 minutes. He's obviously not coming. I've obviously been stood up. And this is just absolutely awful. Hello? Hey, so I looked and he deleted the app or unmatched me or something.

Like I have no way to get ahold of him. So I am just getting out of here. Oh, Chloe, I'm so sorry. What a dick. Like I'm trying really hard to not let this get to me, but it's kind of getting to me. Like I think I had too high of expectations and here's the thing though Chloe having an expectation that

somebody's gonna show up for a date that you have scheduled is not too high of an expectation okay so this is completely on him and if he's gonna do something like this then I'd rather you not date him because he's a jerk? I just need to kind of reset. I wish I was there with the hangout. I know. Talk crap about this jerk. You need to come back and visit me. I will. You know I will.

Okay. Okay. All right, thanks Emily. Have a good night Chloe, I'll talk to you soon. Okay, bye. Hello, hello? Hey, Jeffrey, it's Monica. How are you? I'm good. What's the word? Good. You know, I just had a couple of dates I want to run past you. Do you have a minute?

Yeah, let me just pull up my calendar real quick. Okay, great. Monica's really busy. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project.

She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project.

She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working on a new project. She's working word? Good. You know, I just had a couple of dates I want to run past you. Do you have a minute? Yeah, let me just pull up my calendar real quick. Okay, great. Monica's with one of the college agencies who kind of puts me out for college shows, and I didn't expect for her to call immediately after I got back. So, looking at a block booking, which is great, three dates. I'm thinking right now that's looking like the 15th, 16th, 17th. Not a weekend, not inclusive.

Okay. Three colleges, one of them wants to do a training. So there'll be a second day, which you know is double pricing. Yeah. Yeah. The problem is I don't really know my schedule. Like, do you know if any of them has any flexibility, like, to do just weekends? I can check with them, but I don't think so.

I'm still waiting to hear back from Jessica about the possible assistance position. And so saying yes to the college gigs could jeopardize that because I would need to start that immediately. The problem with saying no right now is that then they don't want to book you anymore. And so then before you know it, you don't get any phone calls. So I'm choosing my words very carefully here, but I'm also scared. Okay, let me check with everything

and I'll get right back to you. Yeah, please do. Okay. Okay. All right. Bye. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Want a sneak preview of hot new audiobooks? Then check out Your Next Listen, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and Simon & Schuster Audio. We've got everything.

The hottest new thrillers, best-selling celebrity memoirs, and swoony romances. And these aren't tiny clips either. They're entire chapters you can listen to. Your next listen is out November 11th, wherever you get your podcasts. Want more from your favorite Lemonada media podcasts while supporting the shows that help make life suck less? Subscribe to Lemonada Premium today. As a subscriber, you'll unlock exclusive bonus content like never-before-heard interviews,

behind-the-scenes moments, bonus episodes, and so much more. It's easy to sign up no matter what podcast app you use. On Apple, you can just click the Lemonada logo in the Apple Podcast app and hit Subscribe. For all other podcast apps, head to lemonada.supportingcast.fm to subscribe. That's lemonada.supportingcast.fm. How you doing, Kipa? Doing good. How was your day?

It's been pretty good. So you didn't fly this morning, huh? I didn't know. The winds are too strong. I miss you a lot, baby. And I'm really proud of you. And I can't believe how crazy your schedule is going to be and how many hours you're going to be in the air. Yeah, if I can, as long as weather doesn't bog us down, I'm going to be getting like

24 hours a month of flight time. It's amazing. Which is that's what I'm really missing in my life right now. And I'm trying not to burden her with all of my work stuff because she has a lot of stuff going on, too. And she's in school. And it's just it's just a lot. It is freaking wedding season.

This oh, my God, have you not seen that everybody's getting married right now? I feel like every single weekend, there's a marriage. And they seem like they're all gay. Do we only know gay people? You only know gay people. I think that that might be the case. Is that or the only gay people I know that get married or maybe those are the only ones that catch my eye because they're the only ones

that are Instagrammable. I think the thing is, is that I'm in constant fear that you will propose to me. It's not a great fear to have in a relationship. For a while you had that safe. What, you thought I had the money to just buy a ring and hide it? I don't have the money to propose to you right now anyway. Like, I'm not going to pop a proposal right now because we've both agreed it's not the right time for it to happen. For both me and Emma, we see our relationship as a priority.

We see each other as each other's forever person. Emma's actively working towards her dream of being a helicopter pilot, but at the same time she keeps our future in mind and makes it a priority. And I just want to make sure I'm always doing the same. And I really do want to marry you. And I want to make sure that we don't shortchange ourselves on a cool ass wedding. How would you propose though? I don't know like what you would do. That I keep to myself. You will never know what I'm planning. I love you so much.

I love you. I gotta go catch a flight, so I'll talk to you later, all right? All right. Bye, baby. Phone ringing Hello? Hi. How are you? Great. Yeah. I've been pretty down since getting stood up, to be honest, and it's getting really hard to continuously put myself out there and not have anything happen. I owe Emily a catch-up phone call because we've been texting and she's been checking

in on me, which I am so appreciative of, but I just need to talk to her. But really, I really want to hear the scoop. Any other blind dates that you potentially have? Not blind dates yet. I've started some cursory conversations on some of the apps. A couple people didn't unmatch me immediately, so I'm chatting with them a little bit. Is that like a... That makes me so sad. Is that some kind of a? Yeah, when, when people read my profile and see that I'm trans, they unmatch a lot. Which is frustrating and makes me angry and kind of hurts.

I was very nervous to be on an app because I'm a plus size woman. I was very concerned that no one was going to swipe for me. So for me, like any angles, I just am honest and I say right off the bat in the bio, plus size woman, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So I know that whoever swipes on me isn't going to be surprised or disappointed.

Be upfront about the thing that you're most insecure about. I feel like that's what you've done. You put in your bio that you're trans, you don't hide that fact you know right right Yeah, and that is good advice like it's a lot easier for somebody to unmatch me than it is to interact with them where they just Become a complete jerk When like when you're dating and like using the apps like what are some of the hurdles or obstacles or like gee?

That's kind of f'd up kind of moments. I mean my situation is very or like, gee, that's kind of effed up kind of moments. I mean, my situation is very unique in its own way. Like, I am jaded, very, very jaded about men and about my experience and some of the things that I had happen in my relationship that I just kind of thought were normal but that I now know are not. I actually think that in some ways there's a lot of value in like entering the dating

world like you are without a ton of experience because I feel like your expectations are realistic. Or at least not, you don't have like for example a person that you're comparing everybody to. I feel like you're more of like an open book in the sense that you're willing to kind of see where things go in a truly authentic way. Do you know what I mean? Damn, why you gotta call me out like that? I'm sorry, was that too much?

No, that's so legit. Like, I feel like you just saw into my soul. Like, that's like a... That's like legit. I had never thought about that before. And the fact that you're at the point in your life where you not only know who you are, but you're accepting of it and you're starting to learn what it means to really like yourself. I think that's when you start to attract other people who will like you too. That's sort of how

that plays out because I can remember the difference and it makes me feel so warm in my heart and soul knowing that you are able to own who you are but also that you are starting to like that person because I want, I like you so much. I love you. I think you're like one of the best people on this earth and I want for you to see that

so that other people, when you're dating them and you're developing relationships with other people, that they see that too because you're worth it, you know? And you've made a lot of progress, so I'm thrilled about it. Oh my God, that means the world to me, Emily. Like some of the things you just said, like you're worth it. Like I didn't believe that for so long, as you know. Emily has given me a lot to think about, especially when I've never thought of things that way before. And it's really nice to have somebody to take the time

to offer those thoughts to me while still being compassionate about what happened. All right, well, I think I'm gonna get going because I have to call my mom shortly. I will text you in a little while. I'll text you soon, okay? Sounds good. Bye.

Hello. Ooh, this is my first voice memo on my new phone. It says my address. Okay, that's creepy. Oh, alright. Oh, all right. Oh, I'm trying to be cheery because I got an email back from Jessica, the showrunner this morning,

and I didn't get the writer's PA job, but that's okay. I'm also currently emailing my agent, Monica, and I've decided I'm turning down the college dates, even though she's trying to book me out. So what's probably gonna happen now is she's probably gonna stop reaching out to me for gigs and that's okay, I've made peace with it.

I'm gonna send my resume out everywhere I can. I'm gonna focus on writing. I'm gonna work on some of my original scripts and I'll keep submitting to things and eventually something's gonna happen. Like this is kind of that tipping point for me where I just have to make a choice and I'm gonna go for it even if it's

effing terrifying. I think what it is is that like I go on the road and I'm always waiting for like something big to happen to pull me off but I just have to make the decision for myself. I'm just gonna take charge and just do it and take the chance. That's what I did with Comma New to begin with. And then that's what's gonna create the future that I want in my career and, you know, with Emma. As far as the way I can reach people with my stand-up, I'm definitely gonna miss that. But I know that with writing, I even have a chance to reach more people. Yeah, I don't know.

It's scary, but that's what life is. You have to take a chance in order to get the things that really matter to you. And, I mean, that's how you grow and become the person that you want to be. Okay, everybody. So if you're A, get on this side. And if you're B, get on this side. You will have 10 to five minute dates. And at the beginning of each day, you will start by introducing yourself with your name, pronouns, and that you wrote on your index card.

Right now I'm at a park to attend a queer speed dating event. And like, I've had a lot of disappointments lately but I know that I'm not going to meet my future partner sitting alone in my apartment. I'll be honest, something like this would generally freak me out but if I don't meet my person here, that's okay too. Hi! Hi, I'm Alex.

Hi Alex, I'm Chloe. I wrote like a personal so my headline is Let's Go. And it's Let's Go to your favorite places and I'll show you mine. Let's go to places we haven't even thought or heard of yet. Let's go together. Let's go. That's awesome. Thank you.

And ours are very much in line. Are they really? Yeah. That's awesome. So I said, Hi, I'm Alex. I like giant sweaters, making fun of bad movies, and all things nerd. I want you to tell me your passions and get me excited about something new. And let's do something we both not good at and bond over on mutual mediocrity.

Alex, that is awesome. Yeah, we have a lot of work out here. Yes, oh my gosh. And if you're facing me, I will have you move to the left. Hi, I'm Chloe, she's her husband. Chloe, awesome. I am Alex. I'm Alex.

I'm Alex. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. I'm Alex. And if you're facing me, I would have told you to move to the left. Hi, I'm Chloe. She's hers. Hi, I'm Chloe. She's hers. Hi, I'm Chloe. She's hers. Awesome. I am X. Hi, I'm Chloe. She's hers. Awesome. I am X. X, it's nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you. Honestly, it's really nice to be around other queer people. Absolutely. Absolutely. Like, this is my first gay event that I've been out to since I've moved to LA. So it's nice to be 100% surrounded by hundreds of people. There are just so many obstacles to trans dating. But the only way anything is ever going to happen is if I keep showing up and I have

to keep showing up for myself. I spent probably way too much time this week thinking about, what did I do wrong on these dates? What could I have done better? And honestly, I need to stop thinking that way. I am great and it's only a matter of time before somebody else figures out that I'm great too. And I just have to keep going. I have to see what happens because I deserve to be loved and I felt like hell to be who I am today. And I deserve better and I deserve to treat myself better. Next on Being Trans. Had I not been trans I would have coached college Can you still play? Hey! Let's go! Boom! There you go. Oh, sorry.

Here! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Like, I'm a little self-conscious at the moment,

and I shouldn't be. I'm leaving Wednesday back to Guatemala. I don't know if I share with you, but I experienced horrible things over there, and people wanted to kill me. Here we are. Where are we, mommy? Guatemala.

We're using Tinder. I'm connecting with part of me that needs to heal. It takes time. Being Trans is an audio reality original from Lemonada Media's Being Studios. Executive producers are Jessica Cordova-Kramer, Stephanie Whittles-Wax, and Casey Barrett. Our co-executive producer is Selle Leota. Our associate producer is Mariah Gossett, and our assistant producer is Greta Stromquist. Our consulting producer is Shar Jossel.

Scott Hanlon is our audio supervisor and field recordist, with additional field recording by Mars Mejia. Mix and sound design by David Herman and Michael Rayfield. Additional mix, sound design and consultation by Ivan Korayev. Our music is by Signature Tracks. Special thanks to the Hot Donnas Club and the Glendale Room. Being Trans is brought to you with generous support from the Marguerite Casey Foundation and Wellbeing Trust. You can find us online at Lemonada Media and connect with us across all social platforms. Subscribe to Lemonada Media on Apple Podcasts to hear bonus content, deleted scenes, and more from our cast. If you like what you heard today, please tell your family and friends to listen and subscribe,

rate and review us on Spotify, Apple, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts. Until next time, thanks for listening and thanks for being. Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life.

Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. Are you looking for ways to make your everyday life happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative? I'm Gretchen Rubin, the number one bestselling author of The Happiness Project, bringing you fresh insights and practical solutions in the Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. My co-host and happiness guinea pig

is my sister, Elizabeth Kraft. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft, a TV writer and producer in Hollywood. Join us as we explore ideas and hacks about cultivating happiness and good habits. Check out Happier with Gretchen Rubin from Lemonada Media.