Blind Plea - Listen Now: Choice Words with Samantha Bee (feat. Connie Britton)

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Connie Britton, creator and host of Hallmark’s new series The Motherhood, joins Sam Bee to unpack parenting and talk about the importance of choosing community when raising kids, and how she is now helping other new single moms to do the same. They talk about why it’s hard for women to ask for help, how babies don’t respect working hours, why it’s important for kids to see a range of emotions from their parents, and even if their sons should become good at online gambling (they shouldn’t). And of course no Mother’s Day episode would be complete without them bonding over eating their kids’ food off the floor. Yum!  Keep up with Samantha Bee @realsambee on Instagram and X. And stay up to date with us @LemonadaMedia on X, Facebook, and Instagram. For a list of current sponsors and discount codes for this and every other Lemonada show, go to lemonadamedia.com/sponsors.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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to get your jobs more visibility at indeed.com slash Sam B. Just go to indeed.com slash Sam B right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Indeed.com slash Sam B. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring need a ton of help. They give you three Advil and a bowl of Rice Krispies at the hospital, pat you on the bum, and send you on your way when you're literally trying to assemble a diaper for yourself so your insides don't fall out on the floor.

There is barely any infrastructure for new moms. I am constantly shouting that from the mountaintops. We need national paid leave, more affordable childcare. We would love to eliminate the possibility of dying while giving birth, just to name a few things. You know, we don't need $5,000. Well, I mean, like, sure, we need $5,000. We would take $5,000. But the help simply cannot stop there, which is why I have some serious choice words for Trump's proposed baby bonus. If you missed it, he recently suggested paying a woman a bonus of $5,000 for every baby they have. I'm sure they would find a way to only pay for new white Christian babies,

because you know what? They got this idea from Hitler and Stalin, who did similar things. You want to pretend that you care about women and families? Then don't. Focus on hollow natalist messages. Focus on funding women's health initiatives. Pass paid family leave. pay our child care workers a living wage, don't gut HHS or the Department of Education, I don't know, protect the environment, pass sensible gun control, all of these things go into creating healthier, safer families. If you are convinced to have a baby by the prospect of being gifted a one-time bonus of $5,000, then girl, you do not know how expensive diapers are. Like, we will take the $5,000,

but definitely more stuff needs to go along with it in the baby basket. This is Choice Words. I'm Samantha Bee. My guest this week is Connie Britton, an incredible actor and an even better person. And she is the creator and host of the new show, The Motherhood. And you can also see her in Amazon's overcompensating out soon. We talked all about what it means to be a mom and ask for the help you need. It is the perfect pre-mother's day episode. So take a listen and make good choices. Welcome to Choice Words. Oh my goodness. I am so excited. Choice Words. I'm so proud of you. Oh, stop it. I am. I love that you're doing this. It's so great. We need it. We need you. And you know what? We need you. And I want to, I'm trying to reflect on, because

we have met before and we both know Asif Manvi from The Daily Show. I worked with him for a long time. You've worked with him too. Can you tell me how, what is the triangle of us having met in the past? It's through Asif, right? I feel like we met at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Oh, yes.

Doesn't that ring a bell? That totally rings a bell. Back in the good old days. Back in the good old days when those things were slightly normal and fun. We had some stability. Some stability. Oh, some stability. Nobody's claiming it was perfect.

Nobody's claiming that. No. Never has been. Never has been. Seemingly never will be. Tell me how you're doing now in this world that we're living in. Like I wanna talk about your new project because I think it is very additive to the world.

Oh, thank you. I was driving my son to school this morning and there's a song by Dochi. Do you know that person? Yes. Oh, yes. I know Dochi. She's very amazing. Very. But I know all these things because of my son, who's now 14.

And her song is called Anxiety. And I was listening to that song and I was thinking to myself, I do think she's such a brilliant voice of this moment in her generation. But yeah, I was thinking like, oh gosh, these kids are growing up with so much like built in anxiety. Right.

Because there is so much instability in our world. I mean, first we had COVID. Yes. And now we have whatever we call whatever is happening right now. Oh my goodness. And your son is 14, which really means he had a deep awareness of COVID and learning at home. He sure did. Yes, indeed. But also the impact of that, the impact of whatever it was to lose those two years of socialization. So frankly, those two years of education because, and by the way, I have to say, my son

did pretty well through COVID. I didn't see a major distinguishable impact on him during that period, but sort of I think as a whole, when I look at the kid, he's in eighth grade now and I look at all of them, you kind of recognize like, oh, there were educational pieces that feel like they got interrupted and certainly social

aspects that were interrupted and or habits that were created to replace what would have been a more social environment that now are so embedded in these kids. Yes, like I mean, moving all of the learning to devices and computers is very hard to difficult to unwind. Yes. Like how much everybody socialized online. And now, so many parenting experts are like, you got to get off your screen. I'm like, we fully expected them to like modify their innate behavior to learn

from a computer and now we're trying to undo like that's very difficult. By the way, that was a huge transition for them. But also as I think we pretty much could agree on. Like there is an addictive quality to these screens, to all of the media that we're being fed in these screens. I mean, my son still does not have a phone. He's 14 years old. I think that those days are numbered, but I'm sort of every day that I can get away with it, and he's still not ready

to completely destroy our relationship. I'm like, amazing. But, you know, because I really do, I'm aware of my own addiction to this thing. And like all the things that I do without even thinking about it on my phone. Yes. And so why, I wouldn't give my kid

any other addictive substance, like why, you know, and yet that's what we did. We, they were required to manage that thing that really has all of these pushes and pulls. Yes. And also frankly, as parents, we don't really know how to, we don't know how to deal with it either. Yeah, we're kind of adrift also.

And then like, I feel like we gave them their devices like full time and then, but also untethered online gambling. We were like, you know what, why don't we just show ads for gambling read by your favorite celebrities. Wait, huh? Wait, who?

Who? Who? If I have a 60, so we have children in the same kind of age. I also have a 14 year old and a 16 year old and a 19 year old. So they're like, like tending older, but also 14. My 16 year old son and all his friends are like, should we become really good at gambling? I'm like, nope.

Here's 1,000 reasons why. And he's like, oh, I understand. But you have to, it's like, you know, you're unwinding. So listen, the longer you can- But you know what, good for you as a parent that he's asking you should become good at gambling. He's actually, he wants your influence on that, which is, congratulations.

Yeah, he's like, can I get access to your bank account so I could just do like some online trading? I'm like, I don't know how fast, like sometimes I'm like, I don't know how fast I can say no to this idea. I wanna go back in time so I can say no before you even ask it. And how clearly I can clarify the clearness of clarification that this is a terrible idea. Let me take you down to the grocery store and you can apply for a job and then when

you get a job you can just feel free to just experiment with all that money you worked so hard. With all that money. All that dough that you earned. That dough. So much. Grocery store dough. Go to town. Okay.

So we have established, this podcast is called Choice Words. I do want to talk to you. I feel like you're a very smart lady. I feel like you make great choices. You do? I feel very, I feel like I'm going to ask you at what kind of, how you make choices. Like how do you make big decisions for yourself?

Are you excellent at it? Are you a champion? Oh, I don't think so. Okay. I'm pretty sure I'm not. But I don't know, now that you say so, maybe that's true and maybe I should start saying, yeah, I'm very good at it. Like gold medal, Olympic level.

Gold medal. One of the choices, like when I became a mom, Yes. I adopted my son from Ethiopia. That was a great choice. Yes. But also a challenging choice. I didn't really know what I was getting into when I did that, but I knew it was something I wanted to do and I did it. I set my mind to it and I did

it. Right. I'm so glad that I did. Yes. But then I got offered this role in the show Nashville. And I had just adopted my son, like maybe a month or two earlier. Okay. And I got offered this role in the show Nashville and I thought, well, that would be really cool to like work with these amazing musicians and sing. Oh, I can sing, you know why I know I can sing? Because I have this new baby at home and I sing to him all the time and I sound great.

He loves it. So sure, I can sing. And it checked all the boxes of all the time and I sound great. He loves it. So sure, I can sing. It checked all the boxes of all the ways that I've always made decisions in my life, in my nascent career. I was like, yes, I'm going to do that and I shot Friday Night Lights in Austin, Texas, but that was a great experience. I loved moving to Austin, Texas.

This was going to require that I moved to Nashville, Tennessee, but it's going to be just like moving to Austin, Texas, except of course it wasn't because I wasn't a mother when I moved to Austin, Texas. So then I moved to Nashville, Tennessee because I made the decision like I've made every other decision in my life, except that there just was one little tiny change, which is now I had a tiny, tiny infant at home. Tiny baby. Tiny baby. Tiny baby. Tiny baby needs needs all the time. Mommy. And also no no significant other. No no partner, no helper. So then we moved to Nashville and I also didn't know anybody in Nashville Tennessee and so suddenly I got to Nashville and I also didn't know anybody in Nashville, Tennessee. And so suddenly I got to Nashville, Tennessee.

And also, I did the show because, going back to your question about making choices, I did it because I thought it was going to be a great challenge. And I wanted that. I wanted something really like I had never done this before. I wanted that. So cool, except that means you're gonna be working like 18 hours a day. Yes.

But still I have that, that baby thing that I hadn't put that into the calculation. You know what I mean? And they don't really just tend to respect your working hours. Like they don't have a strong sense of like, let's let her rest right now. Oh yeah.

And I learned that too, like in real time, like, let's let her rest right now. Oh yeah. And I learned that too like in real time. Like, oh, he's on his own path, his own baby, baby path. Yeah. Like he is this whole other human being and he has a whole bunch of different needs. He's got a completely different agenda, basically. Right. Than the agenda that I have been creating for the low these many years in my career because love having the opportunity to do these wonderful shows. Yes. That wasn't his agenda and he was not consulted. He was not.

He did not approve this message. He did not approve it and he And he did not approve it. And he... Let me know it. Oh my goodness. Well, I mean, just by being a baby, he let me know it. So you're like, I love this challenge. Why don't I take on the triple the challenge that I was thinking I was taking on?

Right. Triple the challenge and also no support system. Yes. Didn't know anybody in national Tennessee. So I'm also like, oh, how do you raise, how do you do a baby? Like, what are you supposed to do? I don't know.

What am I supposed to do any minute of any day? I have no guidebook. I have no experience. And also I've got a job to do. I know how to do the job, sort of, but not really, because also it's singing. I don't really know how. So I got to figure that out too. And so, yeah. So it was kind of crazy. That was a crazy, that was a big awakening moment for me getting back to your question about making choices, which is that that's one of those moments where I'm like,

it made me recognize that I had been making choices the same way for my most of my adult life. And then there was a big change. And I didn't know well enough to know that I needed to take into account the big change. And so I think that's sort of the hardest part of making choices and making decisions is knowing that we're constantly in motion and it's a fluid experience and your needs today are going to be different than what your needs were five years ago and do that what you want from a job or whatever you know and so the biggest key that I've learned about trying to make good choices is taking into account all of the variables in this exact moment right now right you know and just

sometimes the variables just cannot be known to you. And it's natural. Yeah, it's okay. Well, also as an actor, as an artist, the whole thing is always about taking risks. Right. But taking a risk means that you actually really might fail or you really might not have all the information or it may be too much. And so

it's kind of, it becomes especially as a parent, I've found that it becomes this juggle between trying to create some stability but still keeping the idea of risk-taking alive, you know. Yes, it is, it's really tricky. It's also your children, and we will talk, this is all just dovetailing perfectly into talking about the show that you have created. But it's like, your children also need, like they need 10 million things,

like they're, you know, they always need lots of things, but they also do need to see you take risks. Right. With no expected promised outcome. They need to see you being a full human being. Yes. Yes. Laughing, crying, being mad, being sad. Hopefully laughing more than crying, but like, being mad, being sad, hopefully laughing more than crying, but like they need to see a fully realized human being to be able to like step into themselves.

Yes. Which I, so I think it's great. I think that's so cool that you did that. That's amazing. Yeah, I mean, I think so. And honestly, it's funny because I ended up growing so much from that experience. And so did my son. Yeah. You know, and I showed him into who he is to this day.

He's still, you know, we left Nashville when he was six, but he's always like, Mom, when are we going back to Nashville? Like, he's so nostalgic about Nashville. That's so sweet. And like it, you're you've lived more of your life outside of Nashville than in Nashville. But he always has this idyllic notion of what Nashville was. So like those beautiful golden years

when they're just like learning to smile and making you laugh. Like just, I could go back there in a second. Right? I love that time. I know. I could go back there in a second. I love that time. But you know, I love that you just made that point because I mean, even to this day, sometimes it's hard for me. And by the way, going back also to my show, which I know we'll talk about in a minute, but like, even though so much of the message of my show to the single moms on my show is you need to know and understand that you deserve,

it is essential actually for your well-being and for the well-being of your child for you to take care of yourself and for you to like make yourself a priority because it will that your child is going to see that and know that you value yourself and feel valued than him or herself, you know? 100%. But even as we say that, I'm kind of like, well, I know, but sometimes I have to go away from work and it's really hard for him, you know, all that stuff.

Right, of course. I mean, we all are always like, you know, no one's doing it perfect. I feel like if anyone's doing it perfectly, they're not doing it perfectly. Like they're just pretending to do it perfectly. Great point. There is no perfection.

True. And we're all flawed and it's impossible for us to believe, but our children are also flawed. Oh, no they're not. No, I mean not ours. Other people's. Some are. You know, some. But not ours. But that's just lucky for us.

We're just blessed. By blessed children. Hashtag blessed. We'll be right back after this. Plump and smooth like a pro with new Peptide Plump Collagen Cushion Cream from Strivectin. This next-gen wrinkle cream was clinically tested on women considering injectables, and the results will surprise you. After four weeks, 97% said they would choose this cream over injectable filler. The key is Strivectin's exclusive Alpha-3 peptide technology.

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I don't think I've ever recorded this statement that I'm about to make, and I want to get it right. Jason and I, we, when I was pregnant with my first baby, we were just like, I don't know, I'd never even held a baby. Like just babies, I'm an only child, like a small family. They were just like not in my life. I was like, what is a baby? I don't think I ever touched one before.

Never really, never babysat, nothing like that. So I was like, well, I hope I like it. Like this is a leaf of faith. So this will be good. And we knew one couple, we only knew one other couple because we're kind of older than everybody in our friend group. So we were kind of the first. And we met this one couple and they had a baby. And we had in our heads that when there's a baby,

you're supposed to just be quiet all the time and you just have to turn the lights off gently. And if you put them to sleep and you gently turn the lights out and then you sneak out of the room. And they were so the opposite of that. When they had their baby, they just were themselves. And we were so the opposite of that. When they had their baby, they just were themselves. And we were so confused because we were like, I don't understand why you're not making all these accommodations for this baby. And they were like, no, no, no, no.

He's the new one. He's the newcomer. He needs to figure out how to live in our family that we already have. That's so deep. It was so deep for us. And I never forgot that lesson. I was like, right, we're already people. Right. And we don't need to change who we are to make this baby feel comfortable.

The baby needs to adjust to us so that we go to sleep when we want to, like so that, because we have a way of living. So did you start stomping around and stuff? Yeah, we started, well mostly we just got our rock band together. Yeah. And we just play all hours of the day and night.

You know us, we rock. Oh my god, amazing. We rock hard. We rock you too. It's handy that we're nerds and decently quiet and like kinda don't do too much. We don't have like a super high test nightlife, but like I did like that, just that framework of like,

oh, now welcome, this is how we live in this house. This is the temperature we keep it. I don't know. You're hot. You're hot. Take off, take something off. Take something off. You're cold.

This is why we have sweaters. This is why we have sweaters and socks. It's okay. That is so, yes, that is so brilliant and so true and important to remember. We can be ourselves. We truly can. Like, okay, so I wanna talk about the motherhood

because what a concept. It's a great concept. So you pitched this show. This is your creation. Can you talk about what it is? Yeah, so I, well, going back to that Nashville time, you know, I was very much struck by the trauma in a way or that moment when I got there and I'm like, oh my gosh, I've got to work this big giant job and I have this brand new baby, which is also a big giant job and I'm all by myself. And by the way, thankfully I was able to afford a nanny,

which I couldn't have done this without having a nanny, but I recognized as I was there that there were many single parents who don't have those kind of resources. How are they doing it? And they're working three jobs, working just as many hours as I am, and trying to raise their kids. And what I learned as I was there was how important it was to have a community. Because I quickly realized I cannot do this by myself.

And I'd come to a place where I really didn't know anybody. And then there was a dear friend of mine who did costumes on our show, was also a single mom of four kids. Okay. Her husband had passed of brain cancer. Wow. So she was left with four kids. She was working costumes on this crazy ambitious show

that was shooting 18 hour days. Yeah. And one day, I was off, I happened to be off work that day, but she was at work and she calls me up and she goes, I forgot to give Jed lunch money this morning. So Jed was at school without lunch money and without lunch. Since I was off, I said, you know what? I'll swing by the school,

I'm going to drop off five bucks at the front office for him, which I did. But in that moment, I was thinking to myself, wouldn't it be great if there was some kind of like volunteer organization or something where people could volunteer to go grocery shopping for single parents or to just sit with the kids for a couple hours so a single mom can do the million things that she needs to do that she's not making time to do? Or something like that. I'm like, that would be so amazing.

Basically something that would sort of kickstart resources in a community specifically for single parents who can't necessarily afford that and don't necessarily have people around. And so that was kind of the inception of this idea. And I ended up connecting with the people at Scout who created the show Queer Eye, or originally it was Queer Eye for the straight guy.

But then it became Queer Eye. And they're the best of the best. And we started talking about this idea. And so our show is kind of using that model. But the idea is that we have sort of expert helpers, moms, I call them the neighbor ladies, because when I was growing up, I grew up in Virginia, and I grew up on a cul-de-sac. And every afternoon at five o'clock, the ladies, the neighbor ladies would come over and have their glass of wine and everybody would chit chat about their day and raising kids and all the things

that they were trying to do in the world. And I grew up seeing the women in my neighborhood supporting each other and recognizing for my mother, who actually wasn't a single mother, but recognizing how invaluable that was for her. So anyway, in honor of my mother and those all those women, I, we called the neighbor ladies, the neighbor ladies on our show. And so each episode, we have a different single mom, and we go in and we meet them and we recognize sort of what they're dealing with and where they're at. And then the neighbor ladies come in and one of them is sort of like a self-love stylist.

Like basically trying to encourage all of us to dress for your body, to love your body, to wear things that make you feel beautiful and special, and that it's okay, that you're worth getting clothes that make you feel good. Because so many of these moms are like, oh, I'm not gonna buy something for myself because I have to buy what my kid needs. And again, it's like not putting that value

on your own needs. Anyway, so we have that, that's Taryn. And then we have Destiny, who's like not putting that value on your own needs. Anyway, so we have that, that's Taryn. And then we have Destiny, who's a parenting coach, who's brilliant. And honestly, the show is about single moms, but it's the advice and sort of like the experience of it is so universal. I'm hoping that people, I think parents of any,

whether you're single parent or not, and I think frankly, even if you I think parents of any, whether you're single, parent or not, and I think frankly, even if you're not parents at all, I think everybody will... I'm hoping everybody will find something in the show that feels really resonant for them, because it's all just human, you know? There's nothing more fundamental and primal than the experience of being a child or being a parent.

And we've all done one or both of those things. Oh, 100%. And sometimes you just need to parent yourself. Yes, exactly. Exactly. So all of these things, everything that we talk about on the show is so resonant. And yes, our third amazing neighbor lady is Angela, and she is like this incredible DIY expert.

And she's able to come into spaces and create the space that they need to make sure that the mom has space as well as the kid and all of those things. Anyway, so that's kind of the premise of the show. And each week, much like Queer Eye did, we really see the lives of these moms get changed forever. And a big part of why that's happening

and a big part of the whole idea of the show is creating a community. So even we start with six episodes and we have six moms plus our neighbor ladies. That's the beginning of our motherhood community. And I'm hoping that this is going to become this ongoing thing. And I really want to have it end up being also an organization that people can reach out to for resources. So that really it becomes an accessible community for people who need it and people who need this help

so that single parents aren't feeling alone in it anymore. Yes, because it feels so lonely, like in the dark of night when you're with your baby and your baby's crying or not crying or just like awaken some or you you know your butting heads in some way. You don't know what to do or you know your baby's fussy and you don't know why and he's a little warm. It's so scary. It's so scary and it doesn't it's not necessarily helpful to only go online or read a book because opinions, everybody's got one. Sometimes you just need the community of another person to go, is it gonna be okay?

I've seen this before. Sometimes that's all you need is like, oh, I've seen this before, I got it. Exactly, and especially someone who knows you. Yes. And knows your child. Yes. Because you're going to go online. That that's just generalized information that may or may not even be true. You know what I mean? So but what you also described that loneliness, the loneliness and the scariness of the loneliness.

loneliness, and then the loneliness and the scariness of the loneliness. Right. You know, think of how many thousands of times that you as a parent, and even though you're married still you, I'm assuming you as a parent, had those moments where it's like, oh my god, I don't know what to do. Thousands of times. Oh. Over and over. thousands of times over and over. Thousands of times.

And like even when you're partnered up, you go like, okay, just remembering when Jason had appendicitis, and of course would not seek medical attention until midnight on a Tuesday in a snowstorm. You know what I mean? Like just terrible. Terrifying.

And you've got like little babies. Can't just leave them. No. You can't just leave them. No. You can't just go like, bye kids, I'll text you in the morning. Like they're babies. You don't, you actually don't leave. You actually can't leave. You actually can't leave.

No. And it's not at all the same thing, but there are moments in any situation where a community would be helpful. A community is like kind of the magic, kind of the special sauce for human existence. Well going back to our initial conversation, I was at a rally recently. Yeah. And somebody had a sign that was a quote, I can't remember who the quote was by, but the quote was something along the lines that said something like, there is no tyranny. There can be no tyranny when there is community and love.

Right. And it was so like, I saw that, I'm like, cause that might, this whole show is about creating community and love, because ultimately that's what we need to do as human beings right now. And I thought it was so interesting to see that reflect. I'm like, oh, this is really, not only is this important for single parents,

this idea of community, it's absolutely important and essential for all of us, and particularly at this moment in time. You know, we were just talking about with COVID and coming out of COVID and the situation we're in at the moment right now in terms of how divided we are as a country. It is absolutely essential for our humanity that we go back to the idea of community and love. We'll be right back after this. Hey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus here.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Sam B to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash Sam B. I do feel like, you know, being so online I do feel like, you know, being so online and being so entrenched in our viewpoints also kind of means that we're finding community. Like, you can see everybody's seeking community, and sometimes it takes a very negative form. You know, you sometimes think of like, I think of like the capital rioters and I go, oh, right. What you really after is like mindedness. What you're really seeking is belonging. And so people can destructively join things for that sense of belonging. So

it is like in some ways in our modern age, something we have to choose very specifically. We have to choose it. We have to like fight for it. That's a really important argument for the love piece of that quote. Yes, exactly. Because it's funny, I mean, not funny, but hearing you say that, I'm like, oh yeah, that's a really good point. But it's when I think about community, I've always thought about inclusion, not exclusion when

I think about community. And what you're talking about is exclusion, which you're right. We've seen a lot of examples of that in the last few years. Well, people, a yearning. But it all kind of comes down to a yearning to find your people, like a yearning, but it all kind of comes down to like a yearning to find your people, like a yearning for some type of belonging. So like choosing beneficial community, choosing community that feeds you, that's like additive, it's the second ingredient, it's like another ingredient.

I'm doing a show, like a traveling show about menopause actually. Good for you. Thank you. I love talking about it. I'm doing a show, like a traveling show about menopause actually. Ooh. Yeah. Good for you. Woo. Thank you. I love talking about it. It's actually one of my favorite things because there's no information.

No. Nobody talks about it. Nobody talks about it. And like a big part of my live show or like kind of the concluding element is like we have to share information about this peer to peer. Nobody's going to do it for us. And so when I watched your show I was like it's it's two halves of the same whole. It's like finding people who are additive in your life and sharing. You know what I really liked about, I really, I think

your show is really very beautiful. It's very beautiful because you are sort of like meeting women where they live, literally where they live and going. If you didn't have 20 mountains of toys in your home, you might think more about sitting down and reading a book. Right. Your brain can't actually focus with all this debris. Right. Right. And you sort of could imagine that you're like, yeah, but I'm creating like a wild zone for my

kid and it's cool and she loves it. But actually there's something like sometimes orderliness can make space. A thousand percent. For other things. Of course. And you just need someone to lead you there. But also think about how much time it takes to create orderliness. Yes, so much time. Yes, because it's so much stuff and I don't know where to put it all. I don't have time to deal with it. No. You know what I mean? And that's, and you know, again, moms who don't even have the space that I have, you know, or the time that I have. So, it's so real. But these are all the things that we can all relate to on some level. You know, that, and getting back to the idea

of community too, for me, the show feels, it's almost like an act of generosity. And I think that's for community too. I think I've always looked at the idea of community as an act of generosity, because I know having experienced how important community is in my life, that I'm always looking at the people who are part of my community as not only they're so generous to me, and then in turn, I also try to be so generous with them. Like it is sort of this wonderful kind of back and forth

of like what we can provide for each other. Right. And we get so much from it that it then is easy to energetically also give so much back, you know. Do you have a sense from the women who have appeared on the show that there were elements of being on the show that they did carry forward? Like will you follow up with them after?

Yes, yes. Tell me. I have followed up with them. First of all, now they do. They already are in this community together. And they, you know, some of them live close to each other, and they have each other's contact information. And so that's, they already now have this community of women

who have all shared this experience together, even though they're all very different from one another. But like, you know, I've heard, you know, Danielle got a job, you know, that's a later episode that I don't think you've seen or Kathleen went out on a date, you know, and it's stuff like that. But it's sort of like these things that they were able to manifest after the

fact, because when they created made space for themselves, right in their lives, when when they had a little bit of help, to make space for a little bit of they had a little bit of help to make space for a little bit of help and a little bit of support around them, now they can do these things that give their lives so much more fulfillment, which of course in turn will fulfill their children in such a complete way. And that's really exciting to see. And that just thrills me. Listen, if nobody ends up watching the show but we have the opportunity to make real change in people's lives, that's really exciting to me. That's really exciting. Yeah. That is really, that's so

funny, right, how something so like a small adjustment actually can make a huge difference in your life. That's the thing is like, you know, what I found with these moms, and I've found it with so many single moms that I know, is like, it feels so daunting. Like the things that it seems like you need to overcome in order to have the space to accomplish what you want to accomplish or to feel fulfilled or even just to take a breath and relax. It seems so giant and daunting.

But you know, as we see on the show, you know, we have, I mean, obviously we come in and we have these amazing experts, our neighbor ladies are like, next level, incredible. But you know, so the things that they're able to provide in the course of a week's time, that changes everything. And you realize, oh, we can, we can get that from our community. And, and we can, but you have to ask for help. And that's the other thing. Yeah, especially with women. Oh, yes. Right? It's so hard to ask for help. And I found also amongst our single moms,

a hundred percent of the time they felt guilty asking for help. And I'm like, how do you possibly think that you're gonna be able to do this by yourself? Like, it's literally not possible. Listen, I don't wanna go, it's not like I wanna go back in time to a time when we, we all lived to the ripe old age of 38 and like,

all lived on farms. I don't wanna go back to that, I don't want that. But it was so automatic in the, you know, like caring in a community setting was much more automatic. That's right. Like even as you were saying about your neighborhood ladies or like when I was growing up, like I am actually the child of a single mom. And it was like very much like, you're going over to the neighbor's house, and that's where you watch, we all watch TV until our eyeballs turn square.

But they were like, you're going over to the neighbor's house and you're watching TV until dinner. Yeah, like, yes. But there was sort of a place to go. Yeah, exactly. Someone's basement, and then you eat a sleeve of saltine crackers, and that's it. Like, premier child care. Yes. But it was a safety. Yeah, someone's basement and then you eat a sleeve of saltine crackers and that's it, like premier childcare. Yes.

But it was a safety. Yeah, it's like, but it's safety. It's safety and it's structure to some degree. Yes, yes. So we're not as, it's just not automatic now. Right. In most communities, in some I'm sure that those traditions still live, but like city life, even like most people's lives aren't automatic.

I think it's just hard. And again, I think it's a bigger issue in the culture. And again, goes back to COVID and the interwebs and all the things. Of course. All these things that have pulled us away from one another. Has your son watched your new show? He has not. He's seen like little bits and pieces like when we did like a teaser and like trailer and all that stuff. But no. So I'm thinking, I was like, oh, I guess maybe we could, because it comes out on Monday and they fit. So I'm like, well, I guess we'll sit down and watch it. Oh yeah.

But he knows enough about it. And I think like, he knows like, there are a few pictures of him in it. And he's like, mom, I'm in your show. Like, I know. It's very, very proud of that. You're in it. You're in it. You're in it. Mm-hmm. You're in it.

You're in it. Do you, I mean, what are, is there like a key thing that you wish you would have known when you were a new mom? Like, is there anything that you can think of that you wish? I mean, so many things. So many things, but.

There's a big list, but one of the most surprising things when I was a new mom that I found the trickiest was recognizing I was dealing with a whole other human being. And like, they have an entire list of needs that fills a whole day. And I already was functioning, it's kind of what I was describing earlier. Like I was already functioning like,

I was filled up to here with, this is how I get through my day, and time things out and fulfill my needs. But now there's this whole other human that also has an entire list of things that needs to be fulfilled during the day. But they can't, I'm the one who has to fill those needs too. So suddenly it's like, there's all this whole list and I'm already up to here with my list. So where do I make space for this whole other,

you know? That was the part that was really surprising to me was just kind of feeling like it's literally making space to make all the decisions and take care of this other human being and make sure that they have everything they need. You end up taking stuff off your own list. You're like, do I need to take a shower? That's why, that's why. I mean, that was the thing that we found

with all our single moms. It's like, that means their list just goes like this. Yes, their list goes paired down to three things. They're like, I need to eat while standing up over a sink. I'm gonna crawl around on the floor and pick up everything you didn't eat, little mini waffles, whatever. That's my lunch. Oh my God, do you remember all the like,

just crappy child leftovers, mashed up child leftovers that that was your lunch. Oh, I've eaten so much food off the floor. Off the floor. So much, I'm like, why would I waste this avocado? No. It only touched my floor, wasn't at the sidewalk. And you know what, it's already prepared.

It's prepared. So I don't have to cut anything, I don't have to make anything else. It's ready. It's ready. It's here for the taking. It's ready to go. I do remember bringing Piper home from the hospital. Now it's just me and her, which is the two of us. And I bet that you experienced this where I was like home with her. I'm like, first day, we're together, who are you? Like, what is happening?

Why are you looking at me? I don't know what I'm doing. Don't look at me. And then at some point someone called, like a parent, I don't know, my dad or something, and he was like, how are you doing? And I was like, I can't even eat a salad. Like I couldn't.

Because I was staring at her and she was looking me, and I was like, I don't have time to make, because I don't have time to eat. You're not going to have a salad for seven years. Seven years. Seven years. You can have a salad. No. There's a moment in the first episode of your show where one of the moms is like, well,

I haven't been to a coffee shop in like four years. And I'm like, what? With zero irony, when the mom is like, why I haven't been to a coffee shop in like four years. And I'm like, what? With zero irony, by the way, not at all. I haven't been to a coffee shop in so long. No irony. So long. Yeah, I was just like, what should I even have? What do I drink? Actually so excited. So excited. Like, oh my God, I forgot that I could go to a coffee shop. I forgot that I could go to a coffee shop.

Well, what about the one two of like, oh yeah, I would just like to go to a coffee shop. Well, what about the one, two of like, oh yeah, I would just like to go to the bathroom with the door shut. Remember? Like you can't do that until college. No, yeah, you can't do that until college. And also like remembering like, maybe I'm gonna get a shower, either,

I'm gonna take a shower, definitely either tomorrow or the next day. Like, because I think I can figure that out. This is why they invented dry shampoo. Literally, this has to be why. This is the origin story of dry shampoo. It was invented for mothers. This was so much fun.

I love your new show. I'm really excited to have been able to talk to you. These are like deep, deep ass cultural issues. Right? It is. We're all gonna get a baby bonus of $5,000. That'll cover almost nothing. That's the thing too is like I really if this show can change because I just feel like single parents, single moms, kind of bum rap. We just don't even talk about them. It's almost like we're culturally just like,

we're a little bit embarrassed about that. You know what I mean? And it's kind of like, why don't we start talking about single parents as heroes, because that's what they are. Yes. And by the way, we all know somebody who's a single parent if we haven't either been one or been raised by one. Yes. So like, it's not such a strange concept.

Like, let's start like wrapping our arms around each other. You know what I mean? Wrapping our arms around concepts like affordable child care, which would really lift a lot of boats. That sure would. That sure would. Well, that's why you got to keep doing what you're doing too. Big picture. Well, you two, you're out there. Okay, last question. Are you taking your son to... I started taking my kids to protests. I'm like, all right, we're all going to protest now. I'm like, this is the job. We're all gonna stand here with a sign and my teenagers find it very embarrassing. And I'm like, that's too bad. Well, it's funny because I was just telling you I went to one

recently. That's where I saw the sign about community and love. And I asked Yobi if you want, I said, we're gonna go this, you know, and I was going with a like couple friends that he really likes. And I was like, you want to come? And he's like, no, I'm good. And I realized I've dragged him to, he's been going to protests since he was like the tiniest little tiny. Maybe he just wants to take a little breather.

He doesn't have to go to every single one. I can allow that, I can allow it. We can allow it, we can allow it. But we are, but I also like what you just said too about like, this is the job now because it is the job now. It's the job and I was like listen if you want to go to Dick's Sporting Goods later and get shorts we're we're gonna do this first. This is the this is the stop on the way to Dick's. That is Dick's Sporting Goods is always a great draw. Good draw. Good destination. You can all there's always

something something to lure them in at Dick's Story Grids. That's right. Thank you so, so much and best, best, best luck with the launch. I think people will really love it. It's beautiful. Thank you. That was Connie Britton and I had no choice but to look up one thing. We were talking about dry shampoo and I joked that it must have been made for new moms without time to wash their hair and you know what? We weren't totally wrong. While there are mentions of using powders to clean hair for centuries, in 1971 a company called Chlorine made a spray in France meant for new moms to use in the hospital after giving birth. Oh, it's just gratifying when I know I'm right.

Thanks for joining us. I'm Samantha Bee. See you next week for some to Choice Words, which was created by and is hosted by me. The show is produced by Zviya Baron-Reinstein with editing and additional producing by Josh Richmond. We're distributed by Lemonada Media and you can find me at RealSamB on X and Instagram. Follow Choice Words wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership.

Hey, I'm Nicole Northley. And I'm Aaron Brown. And we work at the Minnesota Star Tribune. And we've got a brand new show called Worth It. Every week we get together with a group of people who know Minnesota inside and out. We skip the Minnesota nights and get right to the good stuff. We share the stories and the happenings around the state worth your time and your money. Worth It from the Minnesota Star Tribune and Lemonada Media.

Every Friday wherever you get your money. Worth it from the Minnesota Star Tribune and Lemonada Media. Every Friday wherever you get your podcasts. Why, hello there. This is your pal, Sarah Silverman. You know, the standup comic that's not afraid of a diarrhea joke. Oh my God, I'm so brave. I hope you're enjoying this podcast that you're listening to. I am just dropping in here to let you know about another podcast I think you'd like, and it's called the Sarah Silverman podcast. Each week listeners from all over the world

call in and they ask me for advice or they talk about something going on in their life, anything, their silliest, grossest, deepest, darkest situations and then I respond whether I'm qualified to or not. Go ahead search for the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts. Bye!