Blind Plea - Listen Now: Happier with Gretchen Rubin
Episode Date: June 28, 2025We’re turning our feed over to one of our favorite podcasts: Happier with Gretchen Rubin. Gretchen is HAPPIER, and she wants you to be happier too. The #1 bestselling author of The Happiness Pro...ject and Better Than Before gets more personal than ever as she brings her practical, manageable advice about happiness and good habits to this lively, thought-provoking podcast. Gretchen’s cohost and guinea pig is her younger sister, Elizabeth Craft, a TV writer and producer living in Los Angeles, who (lovingly) refers to Gretchen as her happiness bully. In this episode, Gretchen and Liz discuss a fun summer challenge of focusing on a specific theme or goal. We also include a few helpful, fun hacks, and we share some of listeners’ favorite words—a delightful collection of language. Resources & links related to this episode: Order your copy of Secrets of Adulthood Read 25 in 25 Design Your Summer Reading List in the Happier app Elizabeth is reading: When Stars Align by Melissa de la Cruz (Amazon, Bookshop) Gretchen is reading: Aflame: Learning from Silence by Pico Iyer (Amazon, Bookshop) Get in touch: podcast@gretchenrubin.com Visit Gretchen's website to learn more about Gretchen's best-selling books, products from The Happiness Project Collection, and the Happier app.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
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Lemonade.
Hello and welcome to Happier, a podcast where we talk about ideas for making our
lives happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative. This week we'll talk
about why we might choose to do a summer of blank, you fill in the blank,
and we'll have a roundup of listeners' favorite words,
which was so delightful.
I'm Gretchen Rubin, a writer who studies happiness,
good habits, secrets of adulthood, human nature.
I'm in my little home office in New York City,
and joining me today from Los Angeles
is my sister Elizabeth Kraft, who just had a birthday. Happy birthday again, Elizabeth. That's me, Elizabeth Kraft,
a TV writer and producer living in LA. And thank you Gretchen. I had a very nice birthday.
Oh, that's good. But Elizabeth, before we jump in, we had an interesting question from a listener.
Yes. Joy said, in the time I've listened to the Happier podcast, I've gone from being in an unhappy long
term relationship, 10 years, I'll never get back, but they taught me a lot about myself,
so not entirely wasted, to being happily married with a 10 month old daughter.
During the early years listening to the show, I didn't intend to have children, which meant I
didn't keep track of the parenting related tips, hacks, and suggestions that you made. Of course, now that I have an amazing little girl of my own,
I am constantly listening out for mentions
of your relationships with Eleanor, Eliza, and Jack.
I also love hearing Sarah talk about Violet
on Happier in Hollywood.
I found some of your suggestions to be incredibly helpful.
Things like getting professional pictures taken,
which I have already done and plan to continue
in the future and starting traditions early,
particularly around minor holidays, et cetera.
My question for both of you and Sarah, if she's willing,
and your listeners is what do you consider
to be the best parenting advice or suggestions
that you think all new mothers should know
or that you wish you'd known yourself
when you had very young children.
I found that people have these little nuggets of wisdom
they don't even considering worth passing on,
and they turn out to be absolutely invaluable.
An example is a friend who said in passing
that they never checked the clock
when the baby woke up during the night for a feed.
This was a game changer for me
because it meant I wasn't thinking,
oh no, it's 3 a.m. and we have an early baby class
appointment, visit with a friend.
I just feed my daughter and go back to sleep
without the added stress of worrying about the time.
Would love to hear any and all suggestions.
Well, I love this.
I love any collection of advice and hacks and tips.
So listeners, send in ours, I love any collection of advice and hacks and tips. So listeners send
in ours, we'll be thinking of ours. Elizabeth, I think this could be a really fun thing to
do.
Absolutely. And it's funny that she said people don't even think about passing things on.
Having a baby is one of those things where you're a blank slate. You know nothing. So
what seems obvious to someone else is a total revelation. So I think she's
right that there's a lot to be gained from this.
But also, as we often notice, sometimes advice that is useful in one context ends up being
just as useful in a different context. And like this thing about don't worry if you wake
up in the middle of the night. Well, with Taffy, so Taffy is an amazing sleeper. She
will often just sleep straight through the night. But the other night she woke up at 4 a.m.
And I remember it did really stress me out
because I'm like, it's 4 a.m.
What does this mean?
And am I gonna be able to go back to sleep?
Or should I just get up?
Or like, I just got myself all worked up
and thinking about the 4 a.m.ness of it
instead of just being like, it is very deep night.
I can quickly take her out, bring her back in
and everybody go back to sleep
and then just let it unfold
from there. Had I known about that at the time, I think I would have handled it differently
and probably saved myself a lot of unnecessary stress because in the end, that is what I
did. It didn't make any difference that I did all these calculations.
Well, and it's true anytime you wake up, really.
It's true anytime you wake up, really. Yeah, it just adds to the stress.
At no point does it help to say, oh my gosh, it's 3 a.m.
I have to be up in three and a half hours.
Yes, yes.
Yeah, so send in your hacks, your tips,
your strategies, your resources,
and we will pass them along.
And now Elizabeth, it's our Try This At Home suggestion.
And we've had this Try This At Home suggestion before.
It's the season for this suggestion.
And it is the Try This At Home tip
to pick your summer
of blank. What is it you want your summer to be? Is there something you want to get done in your
summer? Is there some theme you want to have reflected in your summer? It could be something
arduous you want to get done. It could be some spirit like summer of adventure. You can take it
any way you like. Elissa, do you Elissa, have you started giving this any thought?
What are you thinking of?
Yeah, Gretchen, I love doing this
because summer can just slip by unnoticed,
especially in LA where, you know, seasons are less dramatic.
Also in television where summer often
doesn't feel like summer.
So I like defining it in a way to kind of eke more out of it.
Yes. Well, it's that it's my secret of adulthood that something that can be done at any time is
often done at no time. And so if there's something that you want to incorporate in your life,
it can be helpful to say, well, why don't I make it my summer theme? And then that's a time when
it will get done. But I completely agree with you. I think I have this fantasy left over from when
we were in grade school, where you would have these endless long summers
and it felt like they were wide open
and they stretched out endlessly.
And before the summer, I kind of am thinking,
well, I'll do that in the summer.
I'll do that in the summer.
Like I'll have so much time
that I'll just be looking for things to get done.
But as an adult, we don't have that experience.
Yes, not usually.
Not usually.
So in the past, I often tie this for reading.
Like I'll give myself a reading theme.
Like I had my summer of Proust where I read Proust,
which was great.
My summer of Virginia Woolf where I reread a lot
of Virginia Woolf, which I loved.
I had my summer of rereading, which I loved
because I love to reread.
I had my summer of Abraham Lincoln,
which didn't really work out because I was looking
for a very certain kind of investigation of Abraham Lincoln and I couldn't find those books and it just fell apart. And you know,
for read 25 and 25, this is if you're doing read 25 and 25, this could be fun. You could
choose an author the way I chose Proust or Wolf.
Yes. And you know, Gretchen, I always love a theme for anything.
Yes, it's fun. It makes it feel coherent. So I have a great idea for this summer's theme for me,
my summer of blank. Oh, yay. Okay. So my I'm having the summer of Sundoku. So if you don't
know what Sundoku is, it is a Japanese word that refers to the phenomenon of acquiring reading
materials, but letting them pile up in one's home without reading them. The term is also used to refer to unread books on a bookshelf meant for reading later.
Because what I realize is I am truly starting to feel oppressed by the number of unread
books that I have on my shelves.
I want to read them all, but it's like, this one is like a light read and I should read
it on a plane and this one is a really heavy read and I need to do it when I have time
to really explore it.
And this one, I'm not sure
if I'm going to like it. I just have like all these different reasons why Amherst. And then I
have all this reading I need to do for my research into the empty nest. And I was thinking, what am
I going to do? I was like trying to figure out, I was thinking maybe I'd have that my summer of
reading out Virginia Woolf's journals, which is something that I really want to do. But as I was
thinking about different themes like that, I was feeling really a lot of stress
because I was like, but then I won't be able to read any of the books that are piling up
on my bookshelves and then my library list.
And so I was feeling this conflict.
And then I thought, well, maybe that should be the summer is I should make serious dent
on my shelves.
And then next summer I can do the summer of reading Virginia Woolf's journals
because I won't feel this opportunity cost pressure so much. And I just have always loved
this word, Sundoku. And so I love summer of Sundoku. Like if you see it written, the word is
actually T-S-U-N-D-O-K-U. So it is actually T-S-U. But if you say it, it's alliteration,
summer of Sundoku. So I am very excited about my summer of Sandoku.
I cannot wait to tackle those shelves.
That's so fun.
And I bet a lot of people listening to this, Gretchen,
will now also jump on that theme.
Let's do it.
Because I think many of us relate to the stack of books
on the nightstand phenomenon.
Well, so before I was married, I was very disciplined
where I would never allow myself to get even more
than three books ahead of what I had bought.
So I was like, if you buy it, you read it.
But Jamie just showed me that you can just buy books willy nilly.
And of course I was like, ooh, that's great.
I didn't know you could do that.
And so now, and then with the library, of course, you can just check out anything you
want.
And I do definitely my reach exceeds my grasp.
But that's fine with the library because you just turn
the back in.
But I have all these books that I really want to read.
And yeah, and there's also, I think this idea of shopping your shelves or shopping your
closet is very satisfying where people are like, oh, I don't need to spend more.
This is kind of like Sarah in her year of no buying.
It's like, I have a lot that I haven't even tackled that I already own.
Let me do that. And I do think that that will be very, very satisfying. So I'm't even tackled that I already own, let me do that.
And I do think that that will be very, very satisfying.
So I'm super excited about it.
How about you, Elizabeth, have you thought about
what you want the summer to hold for you?
You do have an odd summer,
since you have a working summer.
Yes, I have thought about it.
And I actually wrote about it on our sub stack, Gretchen,
a couple of weeks ago.
I wanna have a yacht rock summer.
See, I did not know this term until you told me about it.
And I think it's so hilarious.
Yacht rock is music that's defined by being well produced
and having pleasing melodies.
I don't call it easy listening,
but it's like just above easy listening.
Let's say Michael McDonald is the king
or let's say captain of Yacht Rock.
So this is the idea that you're lounging on your yacht
and this is what's playing in the background?
Yes, I think so.
Yacht, your sailboat.
Your white lotus vacation.
Exactly, so I noticed there's a SiriusXM channel
that is the Yacht Rock.
And I thought, boy, Yacht Rock always puts me
in the mood for summer.
And so I decided what I'm gonna do is whenever I have
the choice, I'm gonna default to Yacht Rock.
So driving or maybe walking the dogs,
sitting outside in the backyard.
And that puts me in a summer mindset.
So I'm like, oh, it's summer.
Cause I really only wanna listen to Yacht Rock
in the summer. Interesting. And I've chosen the song, it's summer. Cause I really only wanna listen to Yacht Rock in the summer.
Interesting.
And I've chosen the song,
Rich Girl by Holland Oates
as my official Yacht Rock song in the summer.
Cause I love that song.
And it's like number three,
I think on the list of Yacht Rock songs.
So I'm just, you know what?
It's a mindset.
So it's a mindset summer.
It's not about really doing something
like making it through a pile of books
or having a picnic every week.
It's just about retaining a mindset for summer,
which will then hopefully make me enjoy my summer
and absorb it in a way that I don't always do.
First of all, it's nice to feel the seasons,
to say like the summer is different from the fall
and the winter and the spring.
Like I think there's something very pleasing about that, like the idea that we moved, even
if you're in LA or San Francisco or someplace that doesn't really have classic seasons
that like I experienced in New York City or that we experienced in Kansas City growing
up.
But there is something I think of like viewing time that way.
And also, you know, after working on Life in Five Senses
and being so focused on the senses,
this is interesting because it's using music
as a way to cue your surroundings
and your mindset through your senses.
Just the way, you know, a lot of people will say
that they'll pick a perfume or a particular scented lotion
that they will use on their honeymoon
or only when they're in Maine or something like that.
So then they can use a smell to bring them back
to a vacation mindset or a honeymoon mindset
or whatever it might be.
And I love the idea that this is like a whole movement.
Everybody is sort of like, oh, this is a kind of music
that gives you a kind of feeling that puts you
in its surroundings and vibe.
Yes, it's like everything's all right.
That's the vibe. Might be brokenhearted, but it all right. That's the vibe. Yeah.
Might be brokenhearted,
but it's a well-produced brokenheartedness.
You're super stretched out,
but you're listening to your yacht rock
and it's gonna remind you that it's summer vibes.
Okay, but so I have to confess to you, Elizabeth,
that my happiness bully side is trying to,
what would I call it?
Encourage, suggest, nag, badger, I don't know,
all this kind of is in the future,
but I would love for Eliza and Eleanor
to make this their summer of getting their driver's licenses
because they both know how to drive,
but they need to practice and they both have failed,
but a lot of people fail in New York City,
it's really hard to pass the thing,
and it's really administratively complicated.
And you have to show that you took driver's ed
for your insurance.
And in all honesty, it is very arduous,
but they're both big enough that I'm like,
this is not my problem to solve this arduousness.
I am quite confident that both of you can figure out
how to do this if you decide that you want to,
but you can't push a rope.
But I'm like, but think about how wonderful it would be
if you had the summer of driver's licenses.
They're both in New York City for the summer.
You can make it a sisterly adventure.
Another friend of mine with kids the same age was like,
maybe we can pit our kids against each other.
Maybe we can make it a challenge and have a prize.
I'm like, look, if it'll work, I'll do it.
I'll pitch in for that prize.
Like we grew up in the Midwest.
I just do feel like it's good to have a driver's license and I can both drive. I'm like, the hard part
is learning to drive. You both know how to drive.
I had friends that went to law school and never took the bar exam. And the bar exam
is genuinely a horrible experience, but I'm like, don't you just want to like have done
that? But driver's licenses is arguably even more valuable to the general person. I could see why
if you're like, I'm not going to be a lawyer, I don't need to take the bar exam. But a driver's
license is just a very, very useful thing to have. Well, I have a question. Can they take the test
where you have your lake house? They can't. Do they have to take it in the city? They can. And,
you know, we did this even in Kansas City. Like you wouldn't take it in Kansas City. You drive
out to some little town or just be like a more mellow experience.
They absolutely could do that.
There's a lot of ways that they could do it
that would make it easier and more fun,
but you can't push a rope.
And I will say, Gretcha,
someone who has yet to acquire her real ID,
I do relate to the dread of red tape
that is surely in their future.
Can I just say this? I don't have a real ID either, but Eliza does. Eliza went and waited in the regular line for three hours,
and then they couldn't do it because like their computer went down. Then she made, I guess they had like early morning expedited, if you go at 7am and there's expedited.
So then she went back super early and got it done. I'm like, if you can do that,
you can get a driver's license.
She's super resourceful.
They're both very resourceful.
They could both do this.
You know what I mean?
Yes.
Many people do it.
My friend Dan got his license when I think
he was about 48 or 50.
So.
Well, Jamie was out of college when he got his
because he grew up in New York city
and didn't know how to drive.
But I keep saying to them, you know how to drive, get the license.
Well, and Gretchen, you and I need to do our reading retreat this summer.
We wanted to have a summer reading retreat.
So we have to get that plan so summer doesn't slip by without that happening.
That is a really good point because it's coming up now.
We need to carve that out.
We don't even have a vision for it exactly.
We need to come up with a concept.
Yes.
Okay, well let us know if you do try this at home
and how choosing a summer of blank works for you
and what are you choosing?
Are you choosing a vibe?
Are you choosing reading?
Are you choosing, what are you choosing?
It'll be interesting to know.
Let us know on Instagram, threads, TikTok, Facebook.
Drop us an email at podcast.gretchenrubin.com
or as always, you can go to the show notes.
This is episode 535 for everything related to this episode.
Coming up, we have not one, but two happiness hacks,
but first is break.
["The First Day of Spring"]
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Eating disorders can show up in a lot of different ways.
It might look like restrictive eating,
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If you're concerned about your eating habits
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When that stuff heads to the landfill, it becomes a huge driver of climate change.
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Go to mill.com slash wiser for an exclusive offer.
And now for two happiness hacks
because who wants to stop with just one hack?
The first one comes from Ashley.
It's about physical magazines.
Yes, she said, I liked your comments
about physical magazines from episode 523
and started to fixate on the idea.
I also love magazines
and decided to reintroduce them to my life.
I have an eight month old baby
and have had a hard time reading
in this new phase of my life,
even though I identify as a reader.
By switching to magazines,
I am serving multiple purposes.
I can read more easily because of the shorter format
that is easier to handle.
I am on my phone less, which is a behavior.
I want a role model in front of my child.
And because I'm not on my phone,
I am less distracted,
also leading to more reading.
I went to a local bookstore and grabbed
two literary magazines, Plough Shares from Emerson College
and the Paris Review and a copy of Ms. Magazine,
which I did not know was still in print,
to try before committing to any subscriptions.
Thank you for reminding me of my previous love of magazines
and how they are a nice addition to this phase of my life.
I love this, it's serving so many positive purposes.
That's fantastic.
Yes.
And Gretchen, we were just talking about strategies
for getting one's driver's license and dealing with the DMV.
Yes.
And Nick had a similar thought.
She said, hi Gretchen and Elizabeth,
I love the podcast and have a tip
for making a trip to the DMV less harrowing.
You can go to any DMV in New York
so you could take the Amtrak upstate to a town like Hudson,
go to a museum, have lunch and go to the DMV,
then take the Amtrak back home.
Just don't forget any documents you need
and you can have a pleasant day upstate.
I love this, which is like, instead of just trying to jam
an unpleasant task into a day, make a whole day of it.
Say, I'm going to turn it into some pleasant adventure.
This is great because you could have...
It's a pairing.
It's a pairing strategy.
It's also kind of a reason, like a quest is more fun than a jaunt.
So you're like, okay, like, I'll go get my DMV, but I'll wrap it into this thing. You could go
with two people like Elizabeth, if you lived here, you and I could both go together. Yeah,
if you were a New York state resident, I just thought this was a really, really good idea.
Maybe something for a Lysette Eleanor to consider, they can do it. So anyway, that's a very
imaginative solution to a problem that many people are facing about the DMV
in the United States these days.
And now for read 25 and 25,
we got a really great question from Ursula.
She said, I am looking for an author to read this summer
for my summer of question mark.
I am a daily reader and love many authors,
but I would love to hear recommendations
from you and Elizabeth about what authors or series
make for a great summer of
reading? What a fun question. Yeah, no. So back to this idea of picking your summer up, many people
do pick a summer of a certain author. So, listen, let's just throw out some of our own personal
favorite authors in kind of the major categories. Okay, so let's start with popular fiction.
If I'm saying popular fiction, I'm saying Stephen King.
Even if you don't like horror, which I don't love horror,
he has a lot that are not horror.
He's got something for everyone
and he's just such a great storyteller.
And you know this because of,
you're doing the whole slow read.
I mean, he's a genius.
Yes, we just did Unhappier in Hollywood,
a slow read of his memoir about writing,
but also I would say the stand,
because that could take you the whole summer because that could take you the whole summer.
That could take you the whole summer.
That's a book I stayed home from work to read one day.
I played hooky from work
because I could not stop reading The Stand, that's good.
And then I would say you could do a whole summer
of Kristin Hannah.
She is a popular historical novelist.
I get so lost in her books.
I find them so entertaining.
Recently, she wrote a book called The Women
about nurses in Vietnam that everyone I've talked to
who's read it has loved it.
That's great.
But she has other books too, The Nightingale, many others.
Yeah, many others.
One that David Nichols is a writer.
I've read several of his books and I remember
I was laughing out loud.
They're just great stories, extremely well told,
very fun reads.
Yes, and then another author, Gretch, is Ellen Hilderbrand.
She has a bunch of books, all that take place in Nantucket,
and the characters pop up from book to book.
Fun.
So if you really want books that are, you know,
summer books that are on in a summer place,
she's a lot of fun.
So you fire up your yacht rock
and you get your Ellen Hildebrand novel
and you're ready.
Exactly.
Okay, so literary fiction.
I have to put in a word for the person
that I have been reading every novel, loving it.
It is not for everyone.
Iris Murdoch, but I truly think they're just so good.
It's the kind of thing that if you like it, you'll love it.
And if it's not your kind of thing,
you probably won't want to read it anymore,
but she's kind of fallen out of view a little bit.
I would just suggest Iris Murdoch.
And then some others to mention, Willa Cather.
Love Willa Cather.
Our father is reading Willa Cather right now and loving it. Willa
Cather is so good. Marilynne Robinson. I think she is maybe the best novelist writing today
in the United States. I love it. Read Gilead. It is a beautiful book. Gilead is being in the mind,
inside a pure mind. It is such a beautiful book. And then there's all these books
that are related to the same characters.
They're all so good.
Housekeeping is really good.
I love those.
Graham Greene and Elizabeth Strout.
And we interviewed Elizabeth Strout
for her latest book, Tell Me Everything.
Yes, she's written so many.
Some are connected to the other ones.
So if you like sort of a built out universe
or you can read them as standalones,
or she has standalone novels.
Yeah, there's something so smooth about Alyssa Stratt.
I don't know, that makes her sound,
I don't know, I feel like that's scamming her with praise,
but there is something about just the way
she, you just turn the pages that is exceptional.
Now, a category that you do not like,
Alyssa, that I love is fantasy,
unless you've developed a fantasy
loving like behind my back, unbeknownst to me.
Not lately.
No?
Well, Game of Thrones.
The books are really, really great.
If you love the TV show, I think you will really, really like the books because there's
just more.
There's just more to it.
And then a fantasy author I really love, a series I really love is Octavia Butler.
Now, a lot of people know the parable.
Those are not my favorite.
My favorite is the Patternist series.
So I highly recommend those,
but I will say a lot of people really liked parables ones.
So I would look at those, love Octavia Butler.
And then if you're looking for more of a mystery series,
Louise Penny's Inspector Gamache, of course, is a huge favorite.
And then Tana French, she has her Dublin Murder Squad series.
And then she also has other books that are standalone.
I have many friends who like the day a Tana French book comes out, go out and buy it.
Here's something where again, like I guess it's sort of like Iris Murdoch, if you like
it, you will go all the way.
And if you do not like it, you will stop at page 50.
And this is Karl Uwe Knausgaard.
So he's sort of known for writing this kind of,
I don't know if you would call it auto fiction,
but it's kind of a novel.
It's kind of based on his life called My Struggle,
which it's many volumes, big volumes.
I cannot get enough of these books.
I love them.
It's funny, I talk about him all the time at one
of my book events. Somebody came up and she's like, I'm going to teach you how to say his
name correctly. And I just tried and tried and I simply cannot make those sounds. I cannot make
that vowel sound. Carl Uwe Knausgaard is the closest I can get. So if this is hurting your
ears, I really apologize. But you may not like my struggle, but then he also has a series that is not complete
yet called the Evening Star series, which I'm also running out and going to the bookstore
and buying them the day they hit the shelves.
I love them.
But he just has this very sprawling style that some people love and some people do not
love.
And I will just say what you see is what you get.
If you don't like it after 50 pages, don't keep reading
because there's so much opportunity cost in reading his books
because they take a while to read.
And if you don't like it now,
you probably won't like it later.
But if it's your kind of thing, it's your kind of thing.
So I love it.
What are a couple of science fiction series, Grudge?
I don't read science fiction.
I'm gonna talk about delightful science fiction because some science fiction, which
I love is very brooding and dark and claustrophobic and apocalyptic.
And I love that kind of science fiction.
But if you're in the mood for kind of more like a summer science fiction, which has a
lighter vibe, I really recommend the Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells.
These are more like novellas, but there's a series and Murderbot is the main character. He is a, you know, an artificial intelligence robot or android or whatever you
call him. It's like a very, very snarky sense of humor. Anyway, extremely charming, fun books,
very exciting, lots of twists, but good. And then Becky Chambers has the series called the Wayfarer
series. They have titles that one cannot remember. They have an unusual flavor
for science fiction. And everybody I know that reads science fiction, I'm always like,
isn't it interesting how Becky Chambers, they just have a different mood than a typical science
fiction. They're really, really good. I really like those. I think the series, they can be read
together or they can be read as sandwich. I think my very favorite is the second one with a name.
I can't remember, but I liked them all.
And I just whipped through them when I discovered them.
So the Wayfarer series is the ones
that I've read by Becky Chambers.
And then thrillers, Alyssa, you're writing a thriller
and you read a lot of thrillers.
What do you recommend?
Yeah, I'll mention a couple authors.
I really like Ruth Ware.
She has a bunch of books and I've enjoyed many of those. And then also
Gretchen, Greer Hendricks and Sarah Peckinen. Greer was your first editor and is a friend
of ours. My very first editor. Yep. But not saying this just because we love Greer,
love the thrillers that she's written. So highly recommend those for your summer reading.
You know, and it occurs to me too that another way that you can think about instead of having that she's written. So highly recommend those for your summer reading.
You know, and it occurs to me too
that another way that you could think about
instead of having a series or an author,
maybe there's one book that you read very slowly,
like The Stand, where the way we're doing
this slow read of War and Peace
over the course of the year,
you could pick a book and read it over the summer.
That could be another approach if you were thinking,
or like with Karla
Uwe Knauskar you're like okay I'm only going to read one volume but I'll just do it over
the course of the summer.
It's just you know there's no one right way to do it it's fun to think about different
approaches that we could take.
Okay Gretch coming up we'll hear what some of listeners' favorite words are but first
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How those ahead stay ahead.
Melissa, in episode 532,
we talked about making a list of your favorite words
and we got such a response.
It turns out that people love to do this.
This is a really,
and it was so fun to read what people chose.
This is a delightful exercise.
Yeah, so we'll just share some.
Rebecca said, I've been keeping a lexicon,
another cool word with K and X sounds for years.
Most words are common, but very meaty, as Liz said.
A few of my favorites are colors.
Azure, salmon, cobalt, amber, copper.
See, I love that these are color words.
In my unpublished, I don't know,
piece that I wrote about My Color Pilgrimage.
I wrote a lot about color names,
so I got a big kick out of that.
Gwen wrote, ephemeral.
I collage, journal, scrapbook,
and create my own postcards for international exchange,
so I love collecting and incorporating ephemera
and ideas they inspired.
Hardware store paint chips, vintage boxes, and tins, magazines, especially the New Yorker
magazine covers and the New York Times style magazine, random scraps of fabric and lace,
ticket stubs, file folders, old letters, text papers, kids' drawings, sewing patterns,
so much stuff."
So she loves the word ephemera.
That is so fun.
Yes.
Donna said, I wanted to share my favorite word.
My children are much older now, but about 15 years ago,
we lived in a neighborhood that had tons of trick or
treaters for Halloween.
Pinterest was very popular at the time.
And I saw an idea for painting mason jars, orange,
drawing faces on them with black markers to make them look
like Jack-o-lanterns and placing candles inside to line
the driveway.
My husband also told me that when he was little,
his neighborhood would fill brown lunch bags with sand,
place a candle inside,
and line the driveway with them on Christmas Eve.
He said it looks so pretty.
I was talking to my daughters,
they were probably about 13 and 15 years old,
about the mason jars and the brown bags with sand,
and my daughter said, do you mean luminaries?
I was so happy.
I had never thought to use the word luminaries,
but after she said it,
I started calling my Halloween mason jar candles luminaries
and I've loved using the word ever since.
My family loves this story.
Thank you for bringing back this good memory
and helping me remember a favorite word
and a word that I need to use more often.
I love that.
It's such a beautiful word.
Susan said,
I love thinking of words that are fun to say.
A few of my favorites are spigot, faucet, creek,
and paprika.
I love paprika.
That's a great word.
Yes, that is a fun word.
Jenny said,
I have been keeping a list for years.
Ethereal, mystic, tranquil, ephemeral, quill,
etherea, acadia, imperatrix, evanescence, nourish,
gloaming, dusk, cypress, amaranth, and aura.
Well, and aura.
Well, and she picked up on ephemeral. Who knew that this was like a widely admired word.
Yeah.
Hannah said, oh, this is hilarious.
Hannah said, one category of my favorite words
are what I call Nancy Drew words.
It's been many years since I devoured that series of books,
but when I encounter one of these words,
I make a mental note that it's a Nancy Drew word.
Some examples,
capsize, maroon, sedan, intrude or intruder. And this cracked me up because I read a Nancy
Drew mystery to Eleanor when she was little. And we would always joke about sleuth because it's
always like the girl sleuth or the young sleuth or the teenage sleuth. And another word that I think
I've only seen in a Nancy
Drew book, and I actually had just looked it up because I was like, I don't even think
I actually know precisely what it means is jalopy. I kind of thought a jalopy was like
a convertible, like it was actually sort of like a kind of car, but it turns out a jalopy
is just an old car that's in bad shape. I love this Nancy Drew word.
Yes. I also, for some reason reason associate jalopies with noir,
but that makes sense because that's the kind of
old timey mystery.
But you know, you could do this with a lot of authors.
Are there words that they use or even overuse?
I remember when I wrote my draft of a 40 ways look
at Winston Churchill and editors said,
you've used the word pageant too often.
A word like pageant, you can use like twice in a book.
And I had used it like six times and they were like,
that's too much pageant.
And then I remember in Stephanie Meyer's Twilight,
if you look at how many times she describes Edward Cullen
as marble, it's a lot.
Once you notice it, it does get a little bit distracting
because it's marble this and marble that.
That is hysterical.
And I was told, this is funny, I was told that I use the word inchoate in conversation more than
anyone else. Somebody just said like, you know, you use the word inchoate more than anybody I've
ever met. I'm like, huh, okay. I hadn't noticed that. Have you noticed that?
I've noticed that when you say it.
Huh. Okay. It's a good word.
It is a good word.
It is a good word.
Okay, and now Gretchen,
it is time for Da Maris and Gold Stars,
and this week you are up with a happiness Da Marit.
Well, this is kind of related to driver's licenses.
I am a fearful driver.
I do not like to drive.
And Alyssa, you're the same,
but you drive all the time
because you're in Los Angeles.
But one of the things that makes me more fearful
is that I don't do it very much
because I live in New York City.
And recently we went to Eleanor's home from college,
which is huge, yay.
So we went up to get her, pick her up at her dorm room
and drive her home.
And it's a long drive.
And I knew kind of as I was there, I was like,
I should say to Jamie, let me drive part of the time.
Some of it's really tough driving,
but some of it is just very much like straightforward.
You know, you just get on the highway
and drive straight for a long time.
I should have done it because familiarity helps me do it.
And I want to stay in the practice of driving,
even if I do not feel like it.
And I just didn't push myself to do it.
And I should have.
I probably should have said to Jamie like the day before,
Hey, you should really push me to drive
because it would have been nice for him.
I mean, he drove up and back.
We did it in one day.
It was a hard day for him.
So I should have said, I'm not gonna volunteer
even though I should, but you should say to me,
hey, why don't you drive?
Well, why don't you say now when you drive her to school
the fall that you'll do some of the driving?
That's true.
That's a really, really good point.
That's true.
Okay, Elizabeth, what is your gold star?
Well, Gretchen, I mentioned that Happier in Hollywood,
Sarah and I have a sub stack now.
Of course I have to say, go to happierinhollywood.com
and scroll down and put in your email
to subscribe to our newsletter.
But as part of that, we've been doing a slow read
of the Stephen King book on writing a memoir of the craft.
And we finished our slow read.
And then Sarah and I hosted a Zoom with readers
who wanted to get together and discuss the book.
And can I just tell you, we had a group
of such thoughtful, interesting people from all over.
I mean, from Lawrence, Kansas, to Oxford, England,
Toronto, New Jersey.
I mean, these people were from all over.
Everyone had such interesting things to say.
We all agreed that we did get a lot more out of it
reading slowly rather than just flying through it.
Sure, because it is a book that it's very compelling.
Like you could just sit down and whip through it
because it's a good read.
But it was just so nice to meet a group
of just smart, interesting people and talk about a book.
So my gold star is to our slow readers
because it was a great conversation.
Well, it's a pop-up book club.
Yes, we've talked about having a pop-up book club.
And we'll pop it up again next time we do this, which we're going to do in a few weeks.
We'll start a new book about writing and then we'll do this again.
Have you figured out which one?
We're debating.
Oh, there's so many good ones. I'm really curious to hear which one you pick.
The resource for this week, design your summer reading list because, you know,
we've been talking a lot about reading. What do you wanna put on your list?
This week in the Happier app,
you will find daily prompts
for designing your summer reading list.
If you wanna participate in the Read 25 and 25 challenge,
this is a way to like,
we've been talking about creating a certain vibe
for the summer, and this is a way you can do it.
You can create a sort of special reading experience.
That's just what you want.
So you can log in today today or you can download the app
if you haven't, that is thehappierapp.com.
And speaking of reading,
Elizabeth, what are we reading right now?
Not this summer, but right now.
I am reading When Stars Align by Melissa De La Cruz.
And I am reading A Flame, Learning from Silence
by Pico Ayer.
And that's it for this episode of Happier.
Remember to try this at home.
Consider planning a summer of blank.
Let us know if you tried it
and what is your summer hold for you.
Thanks to our executive producer,
Chuck Reed and everyone at Lemonada.
Here's your rhyming reminder.
If the show sparks joy in your soul,
nudge others to enroll.
Love that.
Until next week, I'm Elizabeth Kraft.
And I'm Gretchen Rubin.
Thanks for joining us Onward and Upward.
Gretchen, you know what a fun summer would be?
A summer of short trips.
So like a summer of weekend trips.
Well that's something that would be fun in California where there are so many different
places to go that are nearby.
But that's a great example of something that can be done at any time is often done at no
time because you'd have to sort of plan that out in advance.
You'd have to think about like, where do we want to go?
Where would we stay? You know?
Yeah.
But then it would be an amazing summer. That's a great idea.
From the Onward Project.