Blind Plea - Listen Now: Talkaboutable

Episode Date: September 9, 2025

We’re excited to share a new call-in advice show from Lemonada Media called Talkaboutable. It’s hosted by a child and adolescent psychiatrist and mom of four kids, Dr. Susan Swick, and she’s here to help parents tackle challenges with humor, curiosity, and empathy. Through candid Q&As and real conversations, she’ll remind you that it’s not about having the perfect answer — it’s about staying curious, trusting your instincts, and making any topic… well, talkaboutable. Talkaboutable is a podcast for parents who want to show up, even when they’re unsure what to say. We’re going to play you a little sneak peek of the first episode. After you listen, just search Talkaboutable wherever you get your podcasts, or head to: https://lemonada.lnk.to/TalkaboutablefdSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lemonada. Hi, listeners. I'm excited to share a new Colin advice show from Lemonada Media called Talk Aboutable, hosted by me, Dr. Susan Swick. I'm a child and adolescent psychiatrist, and I'm here to help parents tackle challenges with humor, curiosity, and empathy. Through candid questions and answers and real conversations, I'll remind you that it's not about having the perfect answer. It's It's about staying curious, trusting your instincts, and making any topic, well, talk about a bowl. Talk Aboutable is a podcast for parents who want to show up, even when they're unsure what to say. After this preview of our first episode, just search, Talk Aboutable, wherever you get your podcasts, or click the link in the show notes.

I hope you'll join us. So it sounds like, so I'm delighted to hear that Brian thinks your kids are amazing. How did they get along with him? How's that gone? I mean, it's a little awkward, and maybe it's just awkward for your mom to date and, like, hold hands with somebody else in the house. Like, it's probably just awkward. Can they say that?

Will they tell you? Will they be like, Mom, that's just weird or gross? What they say that kind of stuff? Yeah, but I mean, what Ethan says is, like, I don't want to know the details, but I'm so happy, you're happy. And at least do you have somebody now who, like, is like, this is good for you. And then Chase is like, well, it's awkward and like, you know, he's nice, he's smart. So like last night, you know, both the boys have been gone for a while for like over a month.

And so, you know, when Ethan got home, when Brian, the dentist came over and I was like at the polar whatever. And Ethan had just, they'd seen each other for the first time in two months. Like he, you know, was like really touched, moved that, like, Ethan approached him, hugged him, you know, shook his hand. It was like, how are you? What's been going on? They, like, had this whole exchange. So, and that had been after not seeing each other for a while. Chase just got home the other night. And last night when he came home from practice, Brian was there and he got right out of the car and was like, hey, it's been a minute. And like, you know, started chatting with him, asking questions. Then we went out to the community barbecue and we're making dinner and Chase came to spend time with us. And Chase is also really into the enneagram.

And so we, the three of us had this incredible conversation about the enneagram. And then we went in debt dinner and he wanted to play Rummy 500. So then we played cards for two hours. So like there are these moments where I like, whether they're trying or it's just the slow burn of getting comfortable with another man. that seems to be happening but like it's not like i want to go i want him to teach me how to drive or like it's like it's still forming i think it's still forming but i want to move in with him and i like do they know do they know that that's no i have that's the thing i haven't said out loud yet so and i so that's so unusual for you it sounds like you guys really talk about

so much and you have great clarity um about this being a person you want to you want to move in with um and then how how to how to how to manage that in a way that um makes it work well um with your family and i and i i also like i want to do as little harm as possible in the process not just for the boys but for the dentist too like i yeah care what do you worried about what are you worried about i i'm worried about the middle part like i have a vision for the end it's like the transition to change i'm worried i'm worried about they're going to act out the feelings that they might have about it or i'm worried so let's but let's pause there what what happens if they act out the feelings like like play me that movie yeah i mean

Chase retreats, his room, spends less time out. He, in my experience, he gets less communicative, less talkative. And he can be snarky. Mm-hmm. Okay. Just, yeah. Okay. And then Ethan, he gets really moody, also isolates, is not nice.

and then comes back with like apologies and hugs. And I'm so sorry. I didn't, I don't like that. I was like that. I love you. I'm sorry. Like a lot of like,

and sometimes it's like, it's a, you know, I love that in the reciprocity of our love and relationship. And, um, and I think he has a lot of thoughts and opinions that he doesn't always verbalize out loud.

And when he does, it's not like productive in the moment. it's productive later. And so I guess the harm a little bit is the dentist feel like getting the brunt of that in some way. And then Ethan retreating it. I guess I'm scared that they will leave and never come back to me. And one of the things about moving in together that I was really emotional about,

and the boys and I did talk about this part because I'm renting the home we're in for eight years now. And my owner decided to sell. And I, like, literally decompensated for a week in May. I was crying. I was like, I can't leave this place. She wants to sell it to me. Literally, Brian and I go out to dinner and he talks about moving in together. And it's like, if you really want that place, we can buy it together. And, and, but he doesn't love it, right? But he's like, but I would rather buy something different than a townhouse, whatever. And I, in that moment, like I, then I go back to my outdoor deck where I spent a lot of the year of my deepest, deepest grief and think and get real quiet, right? And then I start to listen to my knowing. And in that listening,

I was like, oh, I'm holding on to something emotionally here. Brian died in this house. It's the last place we lived as a family. And if I let it go, I might be creating space for Bryant, the dentist that I didn't know I was withholding. And I, and I, so I've talked. talk to the boys about we have to move, we have to find a new place. They know that. You see me going and looking at places with Brian, right? But I don't like to be that kind of person either. I don't want to just like swoop it and be like, we're moving and you have to figure it out,

like deal with it. And I want to honor whatever feelings they might have about it. And I'm going to still decide. I'm the mom. So I, like, that's where I'm kind of getting a little like caught up in the narrative or the loop that I'm in about, um, about talking about it. Yeah. No, I understand. It sounds like it feels like in a way, the pressure to move a little quicker than you might have moved otherwise. Right. Because you're losing this house and it's, you know you want to live with the dentist.

That it's, that it's pushing, it's pushing the boys in a way that, rather than the pull that you got to experience. It's pushing them in a way that might lead to them struggling and maybe even punishing you, but you can handle it, sounds like, but you're worried about Brian being punished by them. And in not knowing how to inoculate against that, you're kind of waiting to say it out loud, although I would, I would suggest they may suspect that if he's looking with you at homes and they know that you can't keep this home, that they might already know. Or they're wondering. They're wondering.