Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Daniel Sloss

Episode Date: August 20, 2026

In this episode of Blocks, Neal Brennan sits down with Scottish comedian Daniel Sloss to dismantle the "blocks" that have shaped his life and career. From the massive social impact of his Netflix special Jigsaw—which Daniel claims has led to over 350,000 breakups and hundreds of signed divorce papers—to the heavy toll of relentless global touring, Daniel opens up with brutal honesty. The two discuss Daniel's struggle with weed addiction, the transition from needing constant stranger approval to finding self-worth as a father, and the hilarious, high-stakes story of how he ended up married to his ex-girlfriend’s younger sister. It's a deep dive into self-loathing, the "quiet brain" of his wife, and why being successful doesn't always mean being happy. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Jimmy Carr1:27 Jigsaw and the 350,000 breakups4:30 Marrying his ex-girlfriend’s sister13:24 Achieving success young & avoiding self-love 15:24 The emotional toll of the X tour 20:32 Weed addiction22:20 Career struggles30:09 Sponsor: Bonobos32:34 Sponsor: CookUnity34:47 Admitting self-hatred in therapy39:39 Finding happiness in family & standup 42:01 The high-functioning stoner cycle 49:53 Bitter and Successful51:08 Comparing yourself to other comedians58:22 Searching for the source of self-loathing1:03:16 Sponsor: Tushy1:05:39 Sponsor: Zocdoc1:08:08 Balancing touring with being a dad 1:11:10 No hobbies and the need for standup1:15:10 Scummy Batman: Stories of justified violence1:23:22 Goals for the future ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ---------------------------------------------------------- Sponsors: For 25% off your order, head to https://www.Bonobos.com/NEAL and use code NEAL.Go to https://www.cookunity.com/NEAL or enter code NEAL before checkout for 50% off your first order.3 Million Butts Love TUSHY. Get 10% off TUSHY with the code NEAL at https://hellotushy.com/NEALTaking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/NEAL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is British. We have to do a couple times a year legally because this whole podcast is Jimmy Carr's idea. Literally. Why? Because you could make money from it. Jimmy? He's an avid listener. He fucking and he loves money.

How rich are you? How rich am I? Well, let me put it in terms you'll understand, sir. I've got a hundred money. I love Jimmy Caron. We all do. But Jimmy loves money. like I love my kids.

He sure does, which you're exaggerating how much you love your kids. He's a fucking killer. He tours everywhere all the time. He's doing the O2 or the Wembley. Yeah. One of them. One of the worst-looking arenas you've ever seen. Yes.

Truly looks like it's under construction. Some European arenas have literally spires sticking out of them for no one knows why. I think is to keep the ceiling up. Well, there's probably better ways. The will of God. Or, I don't know, can, like, Gert? It's Daniel Sloss. Please clap.

He's got a lot of great specials. Few on HBO and two on Netflix. One of them, which is called Jigsaw, which we'll talk about. And he's got real blocks, which I'm very excited about. The number one special I want to talk about, it's not your turn yet, is Jigsaw, which just explain the premise quickly. I was in a toxic relationship with a horrible person who's unfortunately still with us

and getting out of that relationship was such a relief for me but my entire life I was sort of told that relationships are about compromise and you change and you, it's better to be in a relationship than it is to be alone and I found the opposite to be true so it was essentially a love letter to single people

and then it turned into like the ring for toxic relationships. When people started watching the show on tour, I would get lots of messages afterwards that they just dumped their partner. And then when it was released on Netflix, I was getting lots of messages about camping. And according to your website, it's up to 250,000 breaks up to.

350,000 breakups. That they contacted you, right? I have autographed over 150 divorce papers. Like, people will bring their divorce papers to my show. And there's divorce papers that like sometimes I am cited in as one of the causes of divorce. And he's only, it's only he's only cheated three times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not with my wife.

Yeah. And I feel bad for the number two through 150 people who brought divorce papers thinking this is the greatest big of all time. And you're like, yeah. One of the weird ones, I was in leads and I'd done a show and afterwards there's this, I'm going to say like a 19 year old girl tapped on my car. just as I was pulling away and she had divorce papers for me to sign and I was like you know the number one thing I ask is like are you better for it and the answer is always yes and like is this a happy divorce paper she's like it's very very happy and I'm like excuse me for asking me you seem like a bit young did you like get married at 16 and she was like no this is my

parents divorce papers me and my brother made them watch the special last year over Christmas because we felt that they were staying together for us and it was just making it more of a toxic relationship in a situation. So we made them watch the special on Boxing Day and by New Year they had filed for divorce. And then her dad came out from like, Dad, come on out.

And I asked her, I was like, are you better for it? He was like, best decision I've made in my life. Okay. In front of his daughter is wild. Say again? No, that is. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's not, the kids always know.

It's not like, they're like, you're not doing them any fucking papers. Like, your kids know if you're not. My parents stay together. They should not have. Yeah. Are they still together? No, they got divorced. Well, eventually they got divorced like two years after I moved out.

Great. They wanted to just make sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had a horrible base. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From which to build relationship. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you have your own toxic support network.

No, we're happy to take away a safe. and toxic support. But now you're married or you have a child. So how did that happen? My wife is my ex-girlfriend's younger sister. Any questions? Not is it the one from? No, no, no.

I didn't get food poisoning at a restaurant and then go back to the same restaurant two weeks later. Being like, I heard you do veal. Did you, how did that happen? So I dated my ex-girlfriend when we were 21 years old for about three months. We liked each other. Probably the healthiest breakup I've ever had my entire life. Like just two people who liked each other but really realized that we weren't going to fall in love.

Yeah. So when we broke up, which by the way, you know within 20 minutes. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know after you come. You believe that you come and you go, do I want to stay here? And if you do, you love them. I think that's a big part.

Being able to, look, wanting to fuck someone is such an easy feeling to feel. Yeah. Wanting to be with someone when you're, at like you're most vulnerable and you're most pathetic when you know your cock is limp and it's covered in your own come to want to be with that person is a very special feeling uh and i incredibly romantic i mean in its way it actually yeah yeah yeah i mean look my my wife has to see me at my at my worst and at my best and somehow loved me equally during both how do you make the

transition i would assume she had to suggest the sister had to girl like you should do my sister. No, no, I, I, so my wife, five years after me and my ex break up, we're still in contact occasionally, just checking in and each other because we're good friends and because she's a nice, kind human being. And we care about each other. And then I'm doing a show during the Edinburgh Finch Festival and for the first time in my career, there's a smoke show in the front row. My fans are lovely people, very ugly. And for the first time, there's like a genuinely hot 10 out of 10 women in the front row. And I recognise it. just my ex's younger sister.

And I bring it up. And she acknowledges that she is the reason she's in the front row is because her friends bought tickets and they were late. So it was the only seats fucking left. After the show, I come say hi, be good to. And I fancied her fucking straight away.

Did you meet her when you were with her sister? Yes, but she was, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like she was... 14. No, yeah. That's a tough one. She's two years younger than my ex.

I'm not a monster. I take my ex when we were 21, so she was 19. And she was in a relationship with a guy. So it was never, look, she's always been very beautiful. But I never paid attention to her in that sort of way. And then like five years later, I want to say shout out. I will say she had a clue up. She'll hate this, but she acknowledges it.

My wife is working class. She's from the north of Scotland. And do you know what a Ned or a Chavez? No, but I can figure it out. Yeah, it's working class. Yeah. She was a piece of shit. She was like, my wife was underage drinking at the age of fucking 13. She was a fucking riot, which is why she's fun.

Yeah, because she's a real person. I made sure that I got with somebody that was not related to this job at all. Yeah. So she has this, you know, this glow up. And we hang out for a bit. And she's just so easy. My father-in-law often points out. both of his daughters are very different people.

Right, my ex-girlfriend is very ADHD, things have to be done in a certain way, driven, like if things aren't right, the wrong hates it. Kara is the most laid-back person that has ever. She is unburdened by an inner monologue. When I talk to her about my therapy and about how much I fucking hate myself and how vicious my inner monologue is

and like all of these doubts and things all the time, the time when I try to relate to my wife it's the one thing she she's empathy for her but she can't relate quiet brain like when she's not thinking about something there's nothing going on yeah and I didn't know people like that existed yeah is it the one where she has no inner monologue because there is that no it's just like not negative no it's an inner monologue that goes that's a nice tree yeah oh look there's a dog yeah oh i'm hungry and it's it's it's it's it's It's, it's, period. Yeah.

Pause. Yeah. And then if there's nothing to say, her, maybe it's changed now that I think, now that she's a mother, she gets, sure, rental anxiety. Yeah. But her inner monologue is never telling her that she's not good. A piece of shit. And why did she bomb last night?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just, it's clear. And I try to relate to her. One of my, you know, breakthrough therapy sessions where I came back and I sort of worked out that I had anxiety

and a sort of deep self-loathing and I sort of said it to her I'll never forget. She just said that sounds really hard. I guess I just have a quiet brain and I was just so envious just to be like what do you mean? So when you get

into bed and you lie down it's just straight to sleep for you. There's no murder fantasies there's no self-loathing there's no you doing your own personal fucking genocide in your head It's just clear. She's like, yeah.

Sometimes I worry if I've not put the washing on. And I'm like, what a life. What a life. And so how do you, so you meet her at Edinburgh and then how do you, so then you like, I aggressively pursue her. Because, and I will admit this, at the time I'm like, wouldn't it be fucking funny? Wouldn't it be a great story to buy my exes younger sister? Wouldn't that make me the coolest, greatest, funniest man in the entire home of fame?

Yeah, absolutely. Also, like, after we banged, we were rightfully reprimanded by her best friends, my best friends, being like, you're both pieces of ship. Yeah. You're both doing this for attention. This is disgusting. And you both should be better than this, which obviously, and you're on an Instagram live, like, what? Yeah, what are you talking? Attention.

It's not us. It's not us. I don't think you see me. And then because we knew there was no future to our relationship. because we knew there was no way that we would ever get nothing. You could let it all hang out and be honest. And it was the single greatest and purest relationship of a... I mean, during this time, during this year where we're keeping it fucking secret,

we're banging other people because we're just the fuck buddies. We're just like, hey, we just two people who have sick. And you don't tell the sister. She finds out. Okay, how'd that go? Not well. But she, you know, she found out and she arrived at some very, incorrect conclusions, conclusions that she now will admit that she was wrong about, that she

reacted to, that it was intentional, that kind of thing, you're doing it to hurt me? Yes, yeah, yeah. And then also, like, she was in a relationship herself, and because, like, because we ended up in such a healthy way, like, she really sort of took it more out on my wife than, I think, since I was the one that pursued it more. Yeah. And you are irresistible. What can I say? At the start, there was a reaction to it which made us sort of hide it in secret and then during that secret sort of year

where we were very honest with each other and fell in love. By the time that we were then fucking public about it and we, you know, we're mad enough kids, we proved that it wasn't a face. It proved that it wasn't this. My ex-girlfriend is a wonderful sister-in-law. She is the greatest aunt to both of our children.

and, you know, there's, people are always expecting lots of drama and betterness. And I guess that comes from people who aren't really good at communication. I think. It's also not that big a deal. No. It's like, it is on paper, but then you just go, I don't, why not? It's, since we broke up, she was in a relationship for five years. She was in another relationship for two years.

And, look, she's a very healthy head. educated woman and she's happy for her sister. Yeah. And also not, me and her, didn't work. Yeah. Busy brain and busy brain is not a yin and yang. Yeah. There's no, we didn't compliment each other. Verbly, obviously we did.

But in terms of our personalities, we got on, but it would have been, you know, it would have been friction forever. Whereas, you know, now, there's no friction with a smooth, bright woman. yeah um and it's like what a compliment but you are kind of smooth brain yeah um well okay let's do let's talk about your blocks so the first one

i mean you've already mentioned it but you hate yourself and i didn't know i hate myself how did you not what did you think you thought i was successful so young yeah right how young so started 17 didn't have my first bomb until like 50 fucking gigs in like i was good straight away and because the audience doubted my ability that gave, when I was good, it gave all this extra stuff. I was hyped. I did my first bit of television when I was like 18, then I did 19, and Jimmy Carr got me in 8 and 10 cats when I was fucking 20. Tonight on 8 out of 10 cats.

News get on the blog, Daniel Sloss. You know, I was the next big thing for 15 fucking years. My shows were received well. I was touring the world. I very quickly realized that, you know, I didn't want a relationship because I just wanted to fuck as many people as I physically could. And my entire self-worth was always from the approval of strangers. And I had that in abundance. So I never, ever, ever, ever, ever had to love myself.

Right. Because I was only, every day, I would go out and thousands of people would love me. So why would I ever need to love myself? when the public loves me, when there's this every fucking day. So, and I, you know, I toured relentlessly for the, you know, for the first, until I was about, until COVID, I was touring nine to ten months of every year. I was writing a new show every year because that's the British standard.

Every show I was doing was seemingly and somehow better than the last. And it was all going on. I didn't believe in anxiety. I thought it was like just a, you know, I thought it was like a, just a, that sort of people made up for attention, the same with dyslexia. And then it's not real.

It's dyslexia and being bi. Just try harder. Then I had a show called X where I was talking about rape and sexual assault a lot. About what? Rape and sexual assault. Great. One of my friends was raped by one of my other friends. And it was a sort of a show about me sort of

coming to terms with the fact that I had this friend in my life for like seven years who was this predator and like not it wasn't even as if there were no signs there were signs but signs that I'd sort of chose to ignore over the years and my own culpability during that and when you talk about rape on stage it affects 50% of women it affects 25% of men when you talk about it on stage you can instantly see instantly anyone in the audience who's been affected by it yeah by the change in their body language And when you bring that up to people who were coming out to see a comedy show, sometimes they're sat beside their parents, their partner, their siblings, their friends

who don't know. And it was like, I would see it every night. And I would talk to survivors after a day. Would you think, like, when you started to do the show, were you like, this will be interesting? Or was it? No, it was like, I'm just like, oh, that's what I want to talk about. It was no, no, it was a show that me and my friend, I was like, look, I want to, I want

to warn men. like I was blindsided in a way but... Worn men about their fact that their friends may be. Yeah. I didn't want other men to be blindsided the way I was. And I wanted... So I wanted to do a show that was four men to get men on site

and sort of being like, look, I'm a bloke, I'm a lad. Like, I'm fucking one of the boys. And I enjoy toxic masculinity. I thrive in it. Sometimes you can be there. that and also be a feminist. Ignore third wave, second wave, all this other fuck shit. Don't listen to the way

Americans have ruined the word feminism in the same way they've ruined the word socialism, right? They just, they gaslit the world into thinking it meant something else. I think we ruined gaslit as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feminism is just do you want the women in your life?

Basic human rights. Yeah, basic human rights. That's it. Ignore any of the other shit. Do you want the women in your life to be equal and safe? congratulations you're famous yeah right you are and what I wanted to do was sort of make that understand which I stay sex as misogynistic stuff at the time I say you've said bang women like five times already it's you yeah like you can you can be both yeah this idea this idea that the left goes oh no yeah if you it's but words you're right no no no no no you absolutely so I wanted to do a show for that but I also wanted to do a show that was for survivors

Like I wanted to do a show where I'm talking about rap and sex assault And I want to do a show that like people who have gone through that Felt not attacked and felt empowered and felt like I was reprored that I was doing rape jokes that Survivors would laugh at Yeah, that's that's what I wanted to be I didn't want it and Thanks to the help of my friend thanks to lots of survivors who spoke to me after the show and you know Corrects me along the way and gave me really really good and honest feedback and, you know, we sort of got to that point. I hated the show

because, like, I had to do it in such a specific way. Like, there was one route through the minefield and I knew how to get there. So I stopped being a comedian. I was a performer. I was an actor. I was doing the same show every night. There was no genuineness. And so through a lot of that to, like, keep myself, I guess. like entertaining on my toes I would drink three-quarters of a bottle of whiskey on stage of night I would smoke weeds while I was announcing myself onto stage just because like it was the only way for me to feel present was to be so scared of how fucked up I was that I was like oh if I get this wrong and people notice how fucked up I am then there'll be

consequences and like I have to be super present And then also, you know, reliving my own failures every night. Within the show. And with, you know, like the narrative of the show is you're failing. Yeah. And so by the end of that tour, all I want, all I want is like a year off. All I want is to stop being Daniel's loss. I just want to be Daniel.

I just want to live my house and I just want to be fucking Daniel. Because I've not been Daniel since I was, you know, 16. And then COVID happened. And I was like, oh, not like that. That is what I ask. This is such a monkey. You want to like 500,000 people with that. It's not like millions.

Oh, yeah. And I, you know, I didn't handle going from being the center of attention to being the center of my own attention very well. My weed smoking went through the fucking roof because there was nothing else to do. Do you like the way weed makes you feel? I convinced myself I did. And how would it make you feel? It would slow my brain down. Got it.

Like it was, I got a very busy brain. And I love weed and I don't ever want to encourage anyone else from not fucking smoking it. I personally have a problem with it. And that's that I cannot stop smoking it. So I can't have it. You can't have it in the house. No, no. Because if I have it in the house, I'll hide it in seven different rooms.

So I have constant access to it. And the greatest, the greatest thrill of being an addict is getting away with it. When you're high, everywhere, and nobody notices, do you have a problem? Yeah. Do you have a problem? If nobody knows. And it probably plays into like a superiority complex of like, you're so fucking smart.

And like sociologically you're on some next level shit. Like, yeah, like you're high and all of these things. And these people are sober and like you're still smarter than that? Oh, body. Oh, fuck. I can only imagine. Yeah. So I started going to therapy

to just sort of because I had a lot of bitterness after that tour towards my manager because like, you know, it's all my responsibility but like that tour should have ended eight months in. It should not have been extended to it. How long did it last? 18 months, 300 shows, 40. eight countries. And like there was part of the tour where I did a show in London, I got a taxi

to an airport to get a flight to Tokyo to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Singapore to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Hong Kong to do one show, to get an overnight flight to Sydney to do 14 shows in seven days to then fly to Iceland. And like I had a lot of resentment towards heart. Because look, I said yes to all those gigs, but I'm like, your job as my manager is to look at that schedule and go, this'll kill him. And it was killing me. You know, she saw the writer.

But you liked, I mean, I generally don't buy like, you did this to me. No, no. So you wanted it. You love performing. You love being on top. If I stopped. Who am I to tell another adult?

Yeah. Also, the great fear that we have in this industry and the great fear that all of our agents and fucking Netflix and Hollywood will all capitalize on is the insecurity of Strike While the Iron's Hot. If you stop, this is over

and that is not true. That's never true. If you're young and you're new and you're fresh, sure. If you stop, you might lose that momentum. There is absolutely a fucking point in your career where you can stop for a little bit

and you can take a huge fucking breath. But anyone who's making money of you is not going to tell you that information. Yeah. They're not going to allow you to fucking take that break. They need you to think that if you stop, this is all over. And it's, you know, it's still an insecurity that I have in fear. Because our careers are ups and downs and peaks and troughs and momentum comes and it goes. And there's times in your low moments where you remember your high moments where you're like,

oh my God, maybe I'll never fucking get that back. you will when you start working again and when you are actually able to apply yourself in a healthy way to do the job that you fucking love the greatest job in the world and also like part of the fucking

bitterness and anger I felt so I felt so cliche all of my dreams to come to two Netflix specials changed my career overnight I'm touring the world I'm playing fucking Russia

I'm playing fucking India I'm doing everywhere I'm doing everywhere I go in the world All of my dreams have come true. And I'm miserable every night. And I go, want to fucking happen. Are you miserable or you're drunk? Are you miserable because you're doing a script that you don't,

you're just because of the type of show you're doing? Where's the misery coming from? I don't have any moment to be myself. Did you want to be yourself? I didn't know who I was. So, but I didn't know. Right. I'm still, I still think this is all your fault.

Yeah, of course it is. Okay. Yeah, this is, buddy. Yeah. Absolutely. All of this falls to me. This fear of loss of momentum, this loving the stage version of myself so much, taking the reverie from the fucking audience and applying that to my own ego and my own narcissism, having that constant fucking validation.

I hate, I thought I genuinely in my 20s, thought I was one of the great stand-ups to ever live. That was like really in my fucking head. Yeah. And it meant so much to me, and I believed it, and nothing anyone else could have fucking said would have convinced me otherwise. And then due, and because it was being validated most nights because I'm in an echo chamber. Yeah.

I'm in an echo chamber that unfortunately encapsulates the world. You go to a new territory. I found all the lefty liberals there. They come to a fucking room. Yeah. They tell me I'm the fucking best. And it doesn't fulfill me. It doesn't, you know, the joy lasts until like,

45 minutes after the show the second you walk off stage and then during I mean there's no worse down time than travel is just going to you know standing ovation 5,000 people I'm in the same queue as all the other fucking cunts who have to take their belt off at the airport yeah and I'm hung over you flew private you wouldn't have that problem you're really good yeah if I actually was one of the best in the world yeah yeah then I guess it would never stop yeah and I I never I never realized that it was that I hated myself I just thought it was that you know I don't know I don't know what I thought it was but I

just thought it was the I think you can I don't the problem with being a comedian is you you do get a lot of most of your material generation is from a distorted inner monologue yes yeah so it's a bit of a quandary because you're like I I know this is broken, but it does spit, it is a bit of a golden goose where you like, it is spitting out quality material. Yeah. So do I hate myself?

Do we all, I don't know, how much, are we an exaggerated version of what most human beings are like? Or are we like a broken, distorted human beings? I think, masquerade as normal. Well, I don't know. know I guess tell me one thing you like about yourself um funny smart decent you believe all those yeah fuck jealous you don't believe any of it no i believe people think i'm smart i believe people think i'm funny and i believe people think i'm decent i mean and it's because because of the show

i'm able to put on and not okay what have you done nine hours so far uh 13 13 okay so there's probably a good hour in there somewhere Just if we pan that thing out. Yeah, yeah. Like, even you can't argue with it. That's what happens is you just, at a certain point, you just go, I'm, I told somebody it's like the voice in my head lost credibility. Yeah.

Where it's like, you're lying. You're lying. Like at a certain point, you, I can't catastrophize. I can't argue with like what's actually happened. I just keep looking at the same other that says unlicensed therapy and it's really. I feel it. I mean, it, no, but it is like what it's, it's not true. It's just wrong.

It's like literally like a shitty podcast. We're like fucking Daniel Sloss, fucking barely sold it out. Why did it, it didn't sell out until three days before, but so and so. But this is all. Russell Howard. Huh? But this is the voice that gave me everything. I agree.

So why would I know? Distort. You take the parts that. What I realize, I've, I've, do so much less. ruminating than I used to. How? I mean, honestly, through drugs, but through ayahuasca DMT, MDMA. I've done DMT, I'm just scared of all the other ones.

You don't need to be. If you've done DMT, that's, you've done that. They wouldn't let me in. That's a longer conversation. On DMT, there are entities that wait in the lobby and they either let you in or not. I haven't even gotten there. I've done Bufo, which is jumps that whole area. Bufo.

Bufo. It's like the super duper. Okay. But what I realized, like, so now I don't ruminate that much. And I'm like, what did I used to do with my time? Yeah. I wasted fucking decades. Ruminating.

Yeah. And you get bits from it, but like the amount of, you want to talk about signal to noise. The amount of fucking noise. And then you get like, beep. a bit. So, anyhow, hopeful, I mean,

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you hate yourself yes and then what do you do with it you're not you're not you're that's where we are yeah yeah you know i told my wife how long it was did you you come home from therapy and be like, sweetie, I can't believe it. January of this year. So I knew that like, I knew I had like anxiety and I knew that I, through my wife, I love. How did you get anxiety from looking at the, on the faces of sexually sexual? I don't know. I sometimes wonder if I always had it, but just like it was a driver.

Like when I was anxious, the way to own that anxiety was to go on stage and be good and to be bigger and to be. to cover up and I wonder if like so much of my early confidence was like just a mask yeah the anxiety which is a trick people use for anxiety is like I mean but it like there my my girls the therapist like she's like if you can turn anxiety into you can tell yourself as excitement yes yeah yeah 100% so that's what I think I did and then I sort of realized that like obviously my brain is much busier than other people I know it's much crueler than other people I know. And then, yeah, I mean, it was in therapy in January. I said, I think for the, not for the first time out loud, but like I often, when I walk past a mirror,

we'll just look at myself and tell me I hate myself. Like, I'll say out loud. But I hadn't admitted that out loud to anyone until therapy in about January. What's your argument against yourself? What do you mean? When you go, I hate myself because. No, no, there's no, because of everything. Give me some. Any good decision I make is calculated. It's not my instinct. The reason I do good things isn't because that's what I want to do.

It's because I am able to work out what the right thing to do is. I don't think I'm a morally good human being. I feel like I'm a fucking AI that's worked out how to be good. Part of the therapy is like, what would the people who love you say about you? They would say that I'm generous. I'm generous because I have immense wealth guilt. I am generous because it's a great way of

buying friendship it's a great way of like you know character washing yes yes oh yeah yoink I mean I'm a great guy

yeah you know the reason I have a career is because I was young and attractive and I got spots before other people deserved them my confidence sort of hate the lack of talent. No, no, I would say I'm talented. I'll give myself that.

But yeah, just a fucking straight white man. They've got everything that has to want a fucking plate and is still unhappy with it all. The straight white man, I don't buy. Oh, I am. There's a... I don't buy it. I am.

I'm saying, like, there's a lot of straight white men. You live in England. Scotland. Scotland. Fuck, sorry. You called me British first. I didn't realize it was Scottish. The next time I'm hitting you.

I know. This is one of his watch. The, the, you can work out what morality is. Yes. That's why there's the Bible and the Quran because we can't do it. That's why there's the Torah.

That's why the human beings are not, our default is not morality. So this idea that you're especially immoral, fucking throw it away. I just, I throw it away. It's, it's,

you're not right. You're not right. there's lots of people who have money that aren't generous. So, like, again, having the absolute correct moral impulse in every instance is preferable, but no one's ever been able to do it, which is why we still talk about Jesus. I was about it. And God, no, I know, but that was a while ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we're still talking about it. Like, that's how extraordinary Gandhi, whatever. And then if you dig into these people, they weren't. Even they weren't. I can, I can argue these, as I'm sure you can. And I don't think you're wrong to argue with you. You're with a therapist. Surely this is, surely this is good being with a therapist, or is it?

Today one? Yeah. No, I think about moral, I think about morality more than most people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. More than I think she does. Yeah, I'm upset. I mean, a friend of mine one time said he's never meant someone more obsessed with justice than me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, I'm just built that way. So what I'm saying is like, your these charges are not I think the only charge that I think is worth like changing is like you don't enjoy your life I love my life oh okay you're you don't appreciate the the abundance of it

I do now now that now that I'm married with kids and now that like now that like stand up used to be the most important thing in the entire world to me it was how I define myself it's how I call all my fucking self-worth now taking like time off to like be at home and get my self-worth from my children and my wife. And stand-up is now this fun extra thing that I get to do that provides this amazing life for it much.

I mean, look, I don't have depression. Like, I hate myself, but it's not, I don't hate myself to the point where I want to kill myself. Yeah. Like, yeah, I don't think a lack of me in the world to make the world a better place. Like, I don't have, when I hate myself, it's not like, oh, you should remove yourself. Yeah. If I were to die, it would definitely estate many many people they are better for having me in their lives like I can I

can see that part of it my hating myself is just I mean it's a fuel in a way like I guess it's like a drive it's a it's like a affect yeah yeah and it's a way to try and be better I guess is to like you know hating yourself very profoundly makes you really put your next footstep in front of the other to just sort of keep going but in terms of my life no I'm I mean my My life is great. And it does take, it does take me reminding myself, and it does make me, you know, having to fucking write it down

and like practicing gratitude, which, you know. I know. It's the single gayest thing in the world. Absolutely. It's gayer than. It's gayer than Cock up the ass. Significantly. So much so.

It's, but Cock up the ass isn't gay until you start journaling. It's just, it's fine. Like, it's not, it's heterosexual. But if you journal about it, yeah. It's, I'm your official. I'm grateful for the G-Smart and Tyrone. Yeah. That, that, yeah, I, I, I love my life.

I hate myself. I love the life that I'm living. I love what I get you to be. I'm sure you've explored with your therapist, the idea of, what is it? It's the thing about I hate myself. Your favorite part of that sentence is self. Yes, yeah, and I. Yeah.

And I. My self. The only word I know like is hate. Yeah, yeah. My stuff, yeah, exactly. My self. Yeah. All right, well, here's one.

I'm a drug addict. Yes. Which one? Wheat. Wheat. Okay. So that's, and when was the last time he smoked it? February.

What happened? I went to therapy in January because I knew, I mean, I've known. I was addicted since I was about 29. I would go through phases where I would stop for a bit. Just to count down the days to prove to myself that it wasn't a problem. I know that by the way if you're counting the days that you're not doing something that's I think the clearest sign that you're in an addict yeah yeah anyone is like I haven't had a drink in fucking 34 days you're like I don't know when the last time I had a drink yeah yeah yeah because it's not something

the effects I did a hundred days off of it I counted it was like a fucking advent calendar counting down the days to prove that I was in control and that I would my behavior was cyclical I would on a Sunday night random Sunday night I would go right my weed smoking's got out of hand I'm gonna go outside and have my last talk I'm gonna fucking throw all my weeds into like the river or the neighbours got it's like a gesture

big fucking talk yeah I would tell my house mate I'd be like hey I'm off weed so don't like give me any like make sure it's heading from me and then when he was out of the house I would look through his drawers you know I would go through his room until I found the fucking weed I would then buy

weed from a different fucking dealer I would hire out around the house and then it would go from like only after 7pm only after 3pm only after 11 and then it was every day eventually my wife would sort of notice but because again high functioning stoner

you know when I was high I would feel so guilty about being high I was like well don't be fucking lazy go and do things I would write I would clean I would be like super present as a father that I would make, because if I could prove there were no consequences,

then it wasn't a problem. So as long, if I was high all the time, as long as I was doing it, if I was going to the gym, if I was eating fucking healthy, then it was not a problem. Is, okay, let's say you are doing, you are highly productive, right? What is the problem? Health, what it does to my health, what it does to my anxiety. It's a short-term fix for a long-term problem.

like the I used to convince myself that we'd reduced my anxiety which I know for a lot of people it does and that's what I thought it was doing to me it didn't reduce my anxiety it made my anxiety way worse

it made me talk about my anxiety less it made me sort of push it I would just sit there in my head and spiral and then whenever everyone speaks to me that would always be a distraction from it I would never tell them truly what's going on in my head it wasn't a cure for my anxiety it was a cure for my boredom

you know and boredom was a real privilege. And I think sometimes I was just very bad at being bored because when I was bored, I would be in my own head and I sort of didn't realize how much I hated myself. So I didn't like being in my head. So weed was a great place to sort of, in theory, take me out of that.

And like, I love weed so much. I would love to have a healthy relationship with it in like 10, 15 years' time. If you were to give me weed right now, there is nothing anyone in the world could do to stop me. If only weed had a sister. I was never, cocaine, I could give up easily.

Yeah. Cocaine's grain. But like, I could not do cocaine for, I've never done cocaine for it fucking ages. Yeah. In my 20s, I was doing it a bit, but I would stop, I would need it. I'm like, how the fuck am I addicted to the non-addicted one?

To me, it's not even a problem other than the anxiety. Meaning, like, ice takes all up, like, and I stop, whatever. I can discondent. You know, I didn't feel, I was addicted to it, but it was helping me. Oh, we wasn't helping me? No, yeah, if it's not helping you, that's the problem. Yeah.

I convinced myself for so long that it was helping me. It was not helping me. Yeah. But a big part of, like, hating myself was hating how much of a, it's not good, at least for me, being a stone dad. I completely agree. My, but then I, there's a part of me that thinks. Explain to me, explain to people the difference between being a stone dad and a regular dad because you've done both.

Yeah. Being, uh, for me, again, there's people with real values, just to fucking smoke weeds. I do not want to take away from anyone. Apparently, I mean, a lot of the studies coming out, it's not good for anyone. Okay. Like in the last month or two, it's been like, this, we thought it was all good. It's really not. Yeah, no, it's not.

Um, there was one fucking, you know, I'd wake up in the morning. I made my kids fucking. breakfast and like part being a functional stoner is getting away with it. At one point my son was like, why are you always quiet in the morning? And I was like, oh fuck he's noticed. Like he, because

when I'm not high, I'm talking, I'm distracting myself, I'm doing, and also I'm angry because it's the morning and I'm tired. It's fucking six, yeah, yeah. And if I'm not high, I'm annoyed that my son woke me up. Fucking an hour ago and I'm making the thing. So sometimes

I'm a bit nippy with him or like I get, angry and then I'll apologize for being nipping. We have these conversations and I explain my emotions to him and I'm like, hey, I'm sorry. I'm not angry at you, I'm angry that I'm awake. I'm not my coffee yet and I shouldn't even need my coffee. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's not your fault. I'm tired. I shouldn't have played Arc Raiders until 1 a.m. last night.

I knew you were going to wake up at this fucking time. But I made a dumb decision. I tell my son all these things. Not when am I. It's all in there. And he would just go, why are you quiet? And that really, really broke my heart, which is like, oh my God, I'm not as good at.

communicating with them as I thought I was communication is a huge thing for me and the loved ones in my life. It's the way that I get rid of a lot of my anxiety. It's the way I sort of explain myself. It's the way I feel better by myself. It's just sort of like, right, this cruel inner monologue thing, I'm going to say it out loud and explain to people how I'm perceiving the world so that they can correct me within it. And I wasn't doing it. And like, in the first four days of going back in the cycle of getting back on weed is the best because, that's when the guilt is there. So it's like, I'm high, so I'm gonna focus

on being extra present. I'm gonna be super fun to play with. It's my phone's in another fucking room. I'm not distracted. I'm fully 100. Lucky, this is better than me, not than being sober. Yeah, I'm a heightened version of myself. Day four, I need more hits, more regularly.

And it's not curing my boredom anymore. So my phone is, so I'm on my phone. Stoned, when my kids are. in the fucking room. And then he's, you know, trying to fucking engage with me and I'm getting fucking nippy again. All the stuff that I was smoking weed to get rid of is still there. It's still there all the time. I just delayed the fucking response of it.

Me personally, like the biggest lie I convinced myself during my 20s and 30s was I was a better person when I was high. I'm a much better person when I'm not. I'm a better dad, I'm a better husband. I like myself more when I'm not high. Because I don't, it's not an extra fucking whip to flog myself with. It's not another reason to fucking hate myself. Yep.

And am I angrier and grumpier? And do I experience a wider range of emotions? Absolutely. Unfortunately. And it makes me more human. And like, because when I have those big emotions, I'm able to reconcile them afterwards. I'm like, fuck it hell, that was a big one.

Where did that come from? Yeah. You know, I analyze it as opposed to numbing it. And again, if you smoke weed, live my life, but do it. I love it. I want everyone to fucking have the best. time on it I just the difference between you and me is everyone else can stop yeah I can't he's your new tour is called bitter yes and successful you are good looking enough to call

yourself bitter and people think it's cute I can't call myself better I call myself bitter and they're like no kidding what people tell you look like McCulley Culkin right yeah and I I used to have a ball cut until I was 12 years old. Oh, incredible. So yeah, yeah, yeah. Real bad. Bitter and successful. Yes.

Is this part. What was a combination? I almost don't even want to talk about it. Yeah. Because it's so, no, we can talk about it. But I'm saying it's so unappealing. Yeah. When did you realize, like, I have to stop doing?

I have to stop complaining. When you're forced to do gratitudes, I really take things into account. There's a real big. and another great way to hit self-loat which is just go how fucking dare you like you know when i was 17 years old when did you start stand up oh like way later yeah like when i was 16 17 the dream the dream of all dreams was to make a living out doing which yeah and i've been doing that since then how dare i not be happy yep i also think like the way this industry is sort of aligned and this is

something i still suffer from and i want to get fucking better at it it convinces us that we're in competition with our peers when we are not. Like, other comedians doing well is only good for the art form. And even as I say these words out loud, I don't believe them. I'm still angry at other people doing better. Oh, you're, okay. Like, I can't not compare myself to fucking others. Well, okay, I'm sure you've had this analogy, but it's like golf, right?

Yes. You're playing the course. But that's true, but somebody wins the tournament. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then obviously, does being competitive help you, is it a drive that helps you generate more material? Because that's, because then I'm like, all right, I can't really argue with it. Yeah.

But I just know so many successful people that are like comparing themselves. And you're just like, this is so stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But are you able to not do it? Like, do you still get jealous? I've never jealous I can't say I get jealous

I get like I guess being best friends with Dave really fucking kind of you just go it was like I yeah

from the start you were like oh I'm never gonna do the best of this I mean it's just like what I what are you gonna do

you just go okay well yeah yeah I guess I'll yeah I'm never be the best yeah like I'm not even the best person

in this relationship So most if as a comedian most relationships You're gonna be the funniest person and every once in a while You get bested So so then you just go like I'd like to get some shit on I'd like to get some shit on the show I like to and then and then and then once I Whatever then I started him to stand up and it was like

Still compared to him but it's more just about like I'd like to write the best bit in this category Right? Yeah, yeah. Like I'd like to write the best bit in this category. I'd like to write the best whatever bit. So I can't, am I going to be able to do arenas? No.

I'm never going to be able to do arenas. I'd like to add a theater. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So and, and, but I don't think I'm a loser. I, I guess I've, there have been times where I've been like, compare myself to it. But there's also like, I don't like, but a certain amount of stress. Mm-hmm.

I don't like. being surrounded by people. And there's certain stuff that at a level, it's unavoidable. But I, but I, but I've seen people can be competitive. It's like, I think it's good in your 20s. Like I think it's a, it's a fine. It's kind of cute. Yeah.

Yeah. It really speaks to a lack of perspective. Yes. Like to the point where it's like ignorant. Yes. Like you're, you're, you're, you're an ignorant person. Okay. Well, what do you, have, have you ever been?

on top in your mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, upon self-reflection and being an adult now, I was not. That that was the delusions. Like, you know, when the Netflix specials really changed my life in terms of like my career around the world and then like, I, you know, you know, I went from playing fucking 500 series to, you know, 3,000s and everywhere. Yeah. And like, I really, that was the time in my life where I was like, oh my God, I genuinely. might be one of the fucking best of this. I was not. I was an awe.

But do you do best or most popular? Because it's two different categories. Yes. I guess the problem that I suffer with it, which is like I'm very popular. But I guess I don't see myself as one of the best. I have the opposite problem. Oh, yeah? I have lots of respect.

Yeah. And decent sales. Yeah, yeah. I'm like a boutique. Would you want to trade lives? Lives? Lives? No.

Because gosh? Motherfucker, look at your country. Motherfucker, look at your country. I know. No, that's the thing. I know I also have lived enough to know, like, growth to me is treating the cause and not the symptom. And I think in your 20s and 30s you treat the symptom, which is, I need attention. And at a certain point, you go, why do I need this much attention?

And could I cut out the middleman and just go to the reason and then do that and when it's where the DMT and everything comes in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Five MEO DMT, that's the one I did. Yeah? Yeah. Is it smoking it? Yeah, you smoke it. It's wine.

And they let you in? There are no entities. Oh. At five MEO, there are no entities. But it's the place. It's beyond, it's beyond the place. Oh, my God. Okay.

I had the thought God's not here yet, just to put it in perspective. Before time. Yes. Wow. Yes. I was an amoeba. I didn't know left, right, up, down, breathing consciousness. I didn't, I never had a thought.

And was that freeing? It was beyond, it was terrifying. I would have paid for terror. okay but it's you want to talk about the factory reset we I'll talk more about it because I talk about it endlessly on this but but once you treat the symptom I know that it's you know I do one Wilbur and you sell it out and you go and then the next story you do two yeah and you sell it and you go okay yeah like nothing happened I didn't nothing it didn't affect the gauges at all that didn't the meters didn't

change it. It was just like, oh, you just, I mean, it's the hedonic treadmill. It's all like the, the human traps of just like, oh, I thought this was going to be, there are things in life that are doing a Netflix special is a big deal. There are things that are like, oh, this is different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, I feel better. And it's a real, like, I've established myself. Like, this is something that even my internal account doesn't deny that this is an achievement. And I, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I can't. It's a real. And I can't. It. It's a real. And I can't. It. It. It wasn't about awards, it wasn't about, it was just about like, I know. Are you doing this DMT in Mexico?

Is it you doing a South American? I did it. No, you can do it in the States. It's not legal, but you can do it. Yeah. I've been here before. Yeah. I know this country.

Yeah. So it's not legal, but you can do it. No, yeah. It's the American one. Yeah. Yeah. We the people. It's not legally you can do it.

So anyhow, so it's treating the symptom. I'm sorry, treating the cause and not the symptoms. Yes. That's the, which I think you're on your way to. Yeah, I still don't know with like, obviously some fucking therapy now, I still don't know where the, all of the self-loading like comes from. Like, you know, and one of the reasons. Yeah, you don't have to have been molested.

It's like you don't. It doesn't hurt. Yeah. Being molested doesn't hurt. Yeah, but you don't have to have been molested. Yeah, because I guess I was always. sort of told to like drug addiction or addiction in general

was like a pain killing and I really couldn't work at what the pain was. Yeah. And like I've had dropped my you know my sister died when I was seven. I was groomed a bunch of times with no success. This guy's ungromable. And many have tried.

Or maybe just not with it. They threw their best the Scottish, their best Scotsman they threw them and they couldn't break them. Maybe that's the next show, Daniel's lost unmolestable. How about it? But yeah, yeah, I don't know where the... Again, sisters pretty good.

We don't even... She was disabled, too. A double one. Fuck. She spounced. And you killed her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because she was molestim?

Yeah. And she was going to fuck up the whole ecosystem. They got her. It was inevitable. It was the domino theory of Southeast Asia. Um, of, uh, so the, but, okay, so the, it doesn't have to be, there's a thing recently, it's covert narcissism. That's the one of, the one that you like the eye, hey, myself, but you love the eye and the myself.

I definitely have that. Yeah. So, so, and they've realized they, there's a study recently, it's genetic. Oh, really? Yeah. It mean, like in the last three weeks it came out. They're like, this might, because they did the, they separate twins. Or they didn't separate them, but they were separate them.

They should. I mean, they're creepy. They can't get out everybody. Yeah. One should always be killed at birth. At least. Yeah. God doesn't copy and paste. He doesn't make those mistakes.

Hello. Only the Chinese can do that. Um, the, uh, the, uh, the, okay, so, but it could just be a, it can just be, I used to yell at my therapist, it's in my body. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can keep talking about this. It's, the throat. mind saying the incantation over and over again of what happened and this and then or it's in my

body so but it is about treating the cause and sometimes the cause is just you what it is it's just like the way the system set up and it could be like cellular you know it doesn't it could be other it could be actual like this event etc but so yeah be my therapist unfortunately you're gonna And gratitude's a big one. Yeah. Where it's, you know, just like, all right, I can't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is, I'm lying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I have 13 comedy specials, but I'm not good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. How. Come on.

Because people are idiots. Of course, but they're not. And I've convinced them all. Yes, fine. But like, that's it. By the way, that's another thing that people do, which is like, and then do you do the thing where you make people prop you up with your self-hatred?

No, no. I'm ugly. No, you're pretty, that thing? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, because very rarely do I talk about it. Like, it's not something I bring up to my... No, no, no, like, arrogance and ego is, like, a very lovely mask that I like to wear.

So I sort of do the opposite. Sometimes, like, I am so egotistical and so fucking arrogant that, like, and by being this, like big, brash, confident person, it makes other people want to bring me down a level. So they're saying things that I already agree with. You make yourself a target. Yes.

Yes. Because that way I sort of get there. It's like the M&M thing, but you like, you make them write it. Yes. There's something Scottish about, like, you are fairly emblematic of like a kind of Scottish bloke, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it's sort of like fun

Yeah The boys And also Scottish people We all hate ourselves It's a day Scotland's one of the most Self-deprecating nations On the planet

Being miserable Is absolutely part Of our identity And we're allowed to hate ourselves But if you hate us We'll fucking kill you Yeah Great

Like pint to the side of the head Yeah Yeah Yeah It's such an old fucking hack joke But Scotland Scotland is in the country

Where glass is a verb That's fun Yeah It's old jokes sometimes if you haven't heard them. Pretty good. You see how they got this book. Neil, what are you known for? A couple things.

Mental health, of course, vegan probably. And thirdly, or I'd like to think, of course, ayahuasca. And fourthly, I'd like to think I'm known for my love of bidetes. I love bidetes. I love bidet. I had a girlfriend get me one in 2006. That's how deep I've made. in the game. Back then you had to get them from Japanese people. You had to know someone in Japan to get one.

Now they're everywhere. Now I give them away when I direct commercials for a big box company. I give one away every day. We call it the Badaily giveaway. Don't love the pun, but my A.D. Jesse came up with it and I had to go with it. It's not bad. I love Bidays, guys. I'm a Tushie. I'm a Tushie guy. I've got Tushies. I'm on my third. I got the portable. I'm big into it. I don't like talking too specifically because it gets gross pretty immediately. But I just installed a new one. I just installed a new Tushy. It's working good. I just think it's time for you to get a bidet. It's just time. You think paper's enough? You and I are different people, broskies. It ain't enough. I mean, I guess I, I guess. it could be eventually but you're what what what have you done you've you've like ruined you ever look at a mom wiping an angry mom wiping stuff off their kids face and it just looks like the kids in pain that's what you're doing to your own but okay but by the way tushy has a warm one now they have like a warm water one it's slightly more expensive and you need to plug it in it's not still

not very expensive but it's like slightly more expensive and you got to plug it in but i do it it. I haven't done it yet, but I'm planning on it. Here's the call to action. Please pay attention. Give your routine the freshest start for a limited time. Our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code N-E-A-L at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at hello-tushy, h-E-L-O-T-U-S-H-H-Y dot com with promo code neal. Hello-Tushy.com with promo code Neal for 10% off. Tushy, hello-tushy. Hello-Tushy.

Guys, I know that I look like I have perfect health. I think we can all admit that I look on the portrait. I'm in the face of good health. I kid with my weak voice. But I got to look, I'm into doctors. I actually am way more into health. and you would think and I've got a new issue guys a new health issue that's right we've got a torn labrum on both sides of the hips it's pretty great the right side's worth in the left etc etc i'm not

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Head to Zock.com slash any al to get started and check that appointment off your to-do list. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash any al. No work life balance. Still, you know, does your wife get on you about it? Do your kids get on, do your kids do things like, why are you so quiet? Like the sort of subtle, they don't even know their. Yeah, they're so young. My son is four. My daughter is 22 months. Like they, and when after my daughter was born, I took like eight months off to like be home all the time. My son obviously loved that. And he's at the station now where like, you know, it's very hard to be like, hey, do you fucking like this house in the holidays we go on? It's because daddy works. He knows my job. He sort of kind of understands it. You know, it's not that I would like to be home all the, there's no way to do this job without travel. Yeah. There's just, there's just no way. And I can take my family with me. on tour, which I often do when I'm in America

in October, November. They're coming on a tour bus with me, which is so much better for my mental health because it gets rid of all the fucking the guilt of being away and they're just there the whole time and we get to experience all of this together. It fucking eats into the profits. You know, you take fucking three extra people. What are you doing? What do you need it for?

Yeah. What do you, honestly, I mean, that's another gratitude thing where it's like, okay. And we're such fucking. people that were like whore we're hoarder we're natural hoarders yeah I mean people are so worried about Elon Musk is worried about money Bill Gates's worried about me that's why they give it away they go when I die you can have it yeah but until then get the fuck away from my money because I can I can I can trick myself yeah because it's safety which is the thing is there people who say the money doesn't buy

happiness absolutely money by security yeah security it brings happiness not having to worry about next mortgage payment. But you don't, a part of you doesn't believe it, obviously, if you're going like, boy, this baby, you know, this baby food on the road. Yeah. Well, because it's, it's, it's, there is part of me that like wants to, not necessarily retire, but there's a, there's a big part of me that like just wants, during these formative years of my kids' lives.

Like, you want to be around? I want to be around the whole time. When they're 13 and they fucking hate me and I can explain to them while I'm away. Right back at you. Yeah. Fucking. Yeah.

Then I won't mind touring. But like these years are the ones whenever I talk to parents, they're like these, these is generally the years that you don't get back. I call it sunset. Yeah. These, they say,

a four-year-old is a setting sun. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're going to be, I mean, they stay cute. I mean, my steps on it's like, like almost six but it's like I know he's gonna be 10 and smell and or what however age they get you know stinky yeah yeah yeah yeah there's just like a bit where like I really loved the time off that I took and it was actually my my I want to take a year off

and after eight months off my wife was like hey it's great having you around most of the time you need to what was her issue with you I don't have any hobbies. Like, because this has been my whole thing. Why would you? Yeah. Like, I thought, like, she, I think she clearly thought, like, during this time off, I would just suddenly, like, get into other stuff. And turns out my hobby was smoking, weed, and hating myself.

Which, again, it's a lot, millions of people. Officiantos. But why are you not using that for stand-up? Buddy, buddy. Yeah, yeah. You're burning all this fuel. Yeah, you're burning all this fuel. warm, what are you doing?

Also, like, she was like, you need to know, like, stand up has always been there for my anger, my rage, my sadness, my happiness, my fucking joy. It's always been sort of like, it's how I express myself. And it's like, it's a lot of the time it's how I, you know, I sometimes it's the way I feel my most, and God, it gives me such confidence.

Like, you know, it's really nice to not have, it's really nice to have myself with now come from Kara and my children how good's ripping though how good is going on stage and ripping it like I love that feeling of

you know and also my wife my wife fucking fancies the pants off me when I have a good kick there's nothing better the best gig I will ever ever do in my life is when I know she's in the audience because I know the better I do the hornier she gets

fantastic and it's you know it's red rag to a fucking bullshit. Yeah. Like, so we, you know, I said, you know, I can complain about all this, all the fucking that. I love this job. I'm very grateful to have this job. And I'm so lucky to have the fucking career that I have in it. I just want to sort of

get to a point where I felt like I had the work life balance for a fucking bit. When I started touring again, I would be away for three days every two weeks and I come back. Because three days away from your kids is the ultimate amount of days away from your kids. One day, you're hey free bed not being kicked in the fucking face not being walking up early in the morning day two

the guilt still hasn't fucking saying you're sort of you're looking at fucking bitches day three is when you start being like oh my god I'm a negligent father and I should be home more unless you're going home on that fourth day in which case the answer is like three days is the ultimate amount of time away from your kids uh and then I did three and a half weeks in Australia I'm just there and yeah you know and you feel like a piece of garbage because also I'm gigging every night there. Yeah. So it's so it's there's there's so much less time to yeah I don't want downtime because I'm away and if yeah way it's capitalized. 100% yeah so there's no downtime and because there's no downtime I've got less time to be myself and I'm just more time being that

fucking fucking on fucking stage getting in that headspace again and then also when I have a bad gig Jesus Christ are not the worst human being that ever lived and yeah it's amazing that people have fallen on for this con for 16 fucking years and how am I going to convince them of you know all all that fucking shit. Different time zones. I'm fucking, you know, my kids are phoning me in the morning. It's 2 a.m. and I'm drunk. Like, I'm like, you know, it's, yeah.

I got fucking a great time. But when I get back from this, I'm home for, oh no, I'm back on tour after three days, but just in the UK. Do you get home at night or no? I get home at night. I got two days at home, and then I'm off to, like, fucking York in Brighton. I don't, we don't know.

No. No. No. It sounds like. Well, York, you know New York? Yeah. It's based on that. Yeah. Similar.

You know what? You guys did do a better job. You guys did. It's not legal, but you can do it. You want to knock someone out. That's a good one. And pretty relatable. Go ahead.

Tell us more. My best friends is called Kyle Humphys. He's a great comedian. He's very kind. He's very nice. He's the hardest person I know. Like, and you wouldn't expect it from him. And maybe not now that he's, you know, in his fucking 40s now.

But like, late 20s, in his 30s, that can't could knock out anyone on the planet. And I saw him do it multiple times. And it was always justified. I always called him scummy Batman. You know, he would never start a fight, but he would finish several. And it would only ever be if he, his opinion was very much like, there are some people in the world who act the way they act because they've never been knocked out before. and if you were to just

give them some fucking medicine they're going to be a better person with another intervention yeah yeah yeah it's a physical intervention yeah and he would never and it would never be he was never coward punching someone he was never he was never blinded in it so we

I was assuming you're drinking every time not every time sometimes he would no I've seen him knock people out in the morning which is wild you know there's your fucking coffee when how for what just because of the way that they were treating their partner

from like at breakfast brunch sometimes you know yeah like he would you know somebody would be being rude to and really shouting really fucking and they were using their physical size to intimidate people and he wanted to prove that your physical size doesn't mean you can't be knocked the fuck

out and he's left handed he's an ink dragger so like people would never he would always take his watch off before because he'd broken so many watches from punching people in the face so he would always take his watch off before he punch someone? He's bigger, he's not. No, he's not big. He's my height. I would say

no, similar size. Also, you know, we've known each other for 20 years. He's been chubby, he's been rep, he's been, he's gone through it all. He's never had, oh, no, that's not sure I was, he was never happy when he's not people out. Sometimes he was fucking thrilled, because some people really deserve that, and he did a good job. But that, like, a lot of the time,

like, he felt really bad after. Also, I was a fucking nightmare with him. He's seven years older than me. I've never had an older sibling. I've only ever learned de-escalation because I've never been a fighter. I've never been in a fight. The reason I don't get into fights

is because I know I'll lose them. In my 20s when I was with him, I was the obnoxious girlfriend. Like I was... Don't clean it up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. People who normally I would de-escalate situations with if I was by myself, I'm like,

my boyfriend's here. I was, people who were being fucking rude to me, fucking I would get mouthy, I would get gobby and I'm funnier than anyone in fucking public saying these things so I'm saying really cruel things to antagonize people I'm not going for their first insecurity I'm going for their fourth insecurity

the one that most people don't know about because I know how to fucking hurt them because all I want them to do is come up to me and start a fight because my boyfriend's going to knock you out and God I wish it was just, I wish I had the confidence myself to have to knock someone out. How do you feel about, do you think it's dangerous to knock someone out?

Absolutely. And that's why Kyle doesn't do it anymore. Like he, there was enough, like, the guilt he would often feel afterwards of like, and the sort of like, oh my God, thank God, they didn't fall in such a way or hit their head off the fucking curb. Like the reason he's not knocked anyone out in our, I would say, about five or six years is because like just sort of realizing how irresponsible and fucking dangerous and all that stuff. Like I think now he won't like the way I'm talking about him. Like there's a real regret, I think, for him the way. Thankfully, he never killed anyone.

But he changed some lives. Do you think he changed? Did anyone come forward? Did anyone get in touch with him like the, like Jigsaw and go like, look. You knock me the fuck out? Until you knock me out, I didn't know how good I had it. Nobody's got in contact. He's been beating the fuck up

and changed because of it as well. Oh, that's interesting. Like, he said, like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, he got his fucking, he got his fucking head kicked him by like seven bouncer where they, like, pinned him down and tried to... How come? How could...

What did you say? Oh, I wasn't there. I wasn't there that time. He was in a bar, and one of his friends was very drunk, but passed out on a table. And so the bar tried to remove him. And they were like, no, he's fine. He's too drunk, but he's just sleeping.

Yeah. And then some bouncers came in to try and throw him out. So, oh, one of them tried to hit him. So he broke a bouncer's nose by nearing him in the face three times. His brother, one of my favorite ever fucking stories, the bouncer calls him back up. Four more bouncer starting up. All of Kyn and his friends get up.

There's a big fucking brawl. All of Kai's mate. How long where he calls for backup? How long does it take? Oh, there's... They're like he walkies. They're not, okay. Yeah, the bar are there.

They're seeing what's going on. Kai's brother grabs one of the bouncers that comes in, physically throws him out of his own bar and says you're barred and goes back in to join the bar fight. There's fisticuffs. They're all fucking going at each other. A bunch of other bouncers arrive from other bars, which are on the same security team

that are doing everything. They're having to be a bouncer convention that week. Yeah, yeah, several in town. And they take Kai around the corner and like fucking four of them, hold them down. One guy just fucking stomped on his hand in a really fucking... Bracific.

And Kai, when the police came along to be like, do you want to press charges? And he was like, well, I mean, you know, the thieves on or he was never going to do it. Anyway. But they were like, the bouncers. they've got footage of Kai's brother

throwing the bouncer out at the bar and that bouncer will drop charges against your brother if you drop charges against them so like honors yeah yeah yeah so what are the charges what would he have charged his brother with being excellent you know I'm charging you for

doing for the coolest story ironic greatness sir you're taking this to the highest court in the land Yeah. But I wish these stories I told, I wish they were about me. It's like I wish, I wish when I'm, when I have this fucking...

You've never fought? I've been headbutted once. You exercise? Yeah. Yeah. So you're, what, do you do you do any combat exercises? No, no, no. Yeah.

I don't go to, I don't do martial arts for the same reason that I would never live in this country. Because if I owned a gun, I would kill people. Yep. If you gave me, if I was able to beat people up, I would be in jail tomorrow because it's all I would do. I would, there's, you run aggressive? Are you like your operating system's a little aggressive? I could, we can walk down the street for 10 minutes and I'll tell you 40 people who need to die tomorrow for the world to be a better place. Yes, absolutely. So it's pure vigilante. Yes. Yes. Absolutely. I am the arbiter of kindness and goodness. And if I could. I thought so. I knew I recognize you from somewhere. if I could

dole out fucking street justice my word what a better place the world would be and I can't have that power if Americans blow my mind for the fact that you're not just killing each other I mean you are killing each other

We really are putting a pretty good news But like some of you aren't For the amount of guns I mean whenever there's They go we have too many guns I'm like For the amount of guns we have

This is not that bad Guys are really holding back For 300 million firearms. It's a crazy small amount. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, this is like, we're being sensible. We really are.

I really believe that about our country. Okay, so what are your goals for yourself at this point in life? I guess get to your level, man. By the same from this conversation. Well, it's, there are downsides, but it is a better minute-to-minute existence. I would like to see myself the way my wife sees me. And how is that? Lovely big dick.

No, grading, pussy. No. I don't know. Like, I do, I think I'm a very good dad. But like, you know, my wife thinks I'm handsome. My wife thinks I'm funny. My wife thinks I'm kind. My wife thinks I'm smart.

But only because she's so stupid. So, of course, anything would be smart to her. I would like to, you know, have that. And then also, yeah, I guess, I don't want to, I don't want to see myself the way my fan see me because that's how I lived my fucking 20s and that was a problem. Anytime a fan was like,

you're the best in the world, I was like, well, why would you lie? So you've seen my stuff? Yeah, I would like to, yeah, I would like to, yeah, get rid of what was the great narcissist's time you used? Covert? Covert.

Covert. I want to get rid of that. Get rid of that. I want to get rid of that. Well, you know, if you saw yourself the way your wife does, which I think part of you does. Yeah.

You just go, it's not that big a deal. He's going, oh, I'm a good day. That's cool. I'm happy about that. Like, I'm, I'm, I'm funny. I'm good looking. I'm whatever. It's like, yeah, it doesn't, not, it ends up not your, we tend to write highs as comics or people.

Like, I'm going to, ah, but it just, if you can just make it more consistent, like a lower baseline, but it's, it's a higher baseline, but with fewer. peaks and troughs. I guess I wish I was able to dismiss the troughs as well as I'm able to dismiss the peaks. Like whenever something good happens in my career and I achieve something great, very easy to sort of dismiss it. The burn rates pretty quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I could do the same when I...

That aging, I think, helps that. You just, it just doesn't hurt as long. Yeah. Things don't hurt as long. Once you, look, the first death sucks, the second death sucks. All death sucks. but the time you've bombed 50 times you're like ah I'm still gonna wake up tomorrow

yep yeah and also you know what I'm gonna say it that audience was wrong yeah yeah like when we're young we're taught the audience is never wrong yeah buddy the audience is wrong often wrong yeah sometimes when you're doing well the audience is wrong that's how wrong the audience is

a lot of the time but yes and making it it's kind of that but with life like it's like just going like eh what are you gonna do Although most of our problems are the show. Yeah, yeah. The response to the show. Which again, but that's my defensive comparison is like, I'm running a stall at a food court or whatever you want to say.

If no one likes my food and they're lined up for that person, I should consider what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. But not obviously, like, be venomous toward the, I was like, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I also, oh, God, one day I would like to have a healthy relationship with marijuana again. I'd like to, I'd like to have the relationship. Like that.

Like that. Like that. I'm playing computer games. Yep. And like that. And it's a treat. Like, it's something I look forward to, like, it's, I would like to. And it's never, and it just, at this point, you don't trust that it could be that.

It would. It just will not. What about drinking? You like drinking, right? Yeah, and I can stop it. Yeah, drinking is why I fucking hate about it. Like, I enjoy gambling. I can, I'll set myself a limit, I'll start gambling.

I could do, I could genuinely like do cocaine and then not do cocaine for another fucking year. I'm so arrogant, I reckon I could do heroin once and stop. For some fucking reason, the second weed hits my system, it is, it's six weeks of my life. Yeah, you can't. You really got to hide it. Yeah, gotta hide it well.

Guys, it was Daniel Sloss. It was a good episode. He's Scottish. Mm-hmm. And he once believed he was one of the greatest comedians in life. I know, Jesus Christ, please don't fucking... Yeah. Daniel Sloss.

Yeah. I don't have a follower. Yeah, no, I don't have a... I don't... It could be a nurse around my fucking neck. Ha.