Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Ed Helms

Episode Date: September 12, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews Ed Helms (The Goods, The Hangover, The Office, The Daily Show, Snafu podcast, & more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 2:02 The Goods 3:33 Snafu 4:46 Diagnosed ADHD 10:22 Upside and Downsides 12:33 Confused by the World 17:08 Daily Show and Hangover auditions 23:32 Sponsor: Tushy 25:12 How ADHD diagnosis affected him 27:14 Imposter Syndrome 32:46 Bad with Names 37:19 Andy from The Office & ADHD 44:56 Time Blindness 53:45 Studying others’ behavior 55:41 How he’s getting better ---------------------------------------------------------- Listen to Ed Helms' history podcast 'Snafu': https://www.iheart.com/podcast/1119-snafu-with-ed-helms-102539700/ Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ([e-mail])  Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks Sponsors: https://www.hellotushy.com/ & use promo code NEAL for 10% off your first bidet order. ---------------------------------------------------------- #podcast #comedy #mentalhealth #standup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everyone, it's Neil Brennan this is Blocks Podcast. My guest today is known him 2020 almost 20 We did a hit movie together called the goods and then pretty much the Backstreet Boys came along and revolutionized music as a whole Hello in 2008 at the same time. He was filming another movie called The Hangover did Significantly better. I just wish your friends were as mature as you. They are mature actually, you just have to get to know them better.

Paging doctor! Um, from The Daily Show. Those are my pants! From The Office. So look out Dunder Mifflin! And he has his own podcast called Snafu with Ed Helms. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Ed Helms. Thank you very much.

Thank you very much. I feel like we've known each other, let's see. Over 20. I just turned 50. Uh-huh. So. Can't relate. Uh, yeah.

I'm not sure that we knew each other, but we were, but I was sort of in the Boston Comedy Club. Yes, you emceed the Monday night? Yeah, I emceed the Monday nights for a couple years and was just like there all the time. You know what's interesting about you and I? Vaguely similar faces. Is that right? I believe so. I've always thought? Vaguely similar faces. Is that right? I believe so.

I've always thought we have vaguely similar faces. If you just look and you're single, I'll look in mine. I think we have vaguely similar faces. Vaguely? Vaguely, like something, there's something shape-wise about our faces. Anyhow, so yes, I knew about you.

I remember when you got hired at The Daily Show. I remember hearing that, so I don't know what year that was. That was 2002, so that was 20. I think we were doing Chappelle Show and I heard that they hired Ed Helms and then people were like, oh yeah, you probably met him at the bus. Yeah, but then we.

Then we worked together. We dove in. Hard. Got and brought the heat. Funny movie, The Goods, didn't do well for a number of reasons, but I stand by the comedy. Neither of those reasons are you or me. I stand by the comedy.

I do too. I'm proud of that movie. Yeah, yeah. That was a ton of fun. Yeah, and then you were, and I kind of knew that The Hangover was gonna crush. Did you know? That was a little bit later.

It was? Wasn't it? No, I think it was, we didn't come out to, we came out the same year. They both came out summer 2009. We had shot The Goods in 2007. Oh, right, right, right. It was so good they held it for a year and a half.

So when you shot The Hangover, which I'd read and was like, this is gonna crush. And I always respected Todd Phillips for having the, Todd's a really good caster. You were all underdogs at that point. It wasn't like star, star, star, star, which made the movie great,

but he was really good at that. Yeah, he got a good, built some good chemistry there. I agree. Based on, I mean, like it just, I think he just has a sense of like, a foreshot who will look good and what or what'll feel right or something. Yeah, and the, you're right, the script was so good.

Yeah, it was just like, oh, this'll work. Yeah, and it was just like sort of putting the building blocks together. Like the goods. Much like the goods. Please work. Yeah. And it was just like sort of putting the building blocks together. Like the goods. Much like the goods. Please. Please watch. Please, if you can find it, please watch it.

Right everybody? And how, Snafu, you were saying is the- Yeah, Snafu's podcast I started because everybody has a podcast and I just was feeling left out. And kind of... Was it kind of that? Was it a thing where you were like,

I'm fucking doing a podcast? No, well, so I definitely was just loving podcasts. Yeah. And I was listening to a ton, and I was like, do I fit into this space somewhere? And I just, I didn't really want to do an interview show because I felt like there's a lot of great ones out there, like this one.

But also, it just wasn't organic for me, so I just started to think about what do I love? I'm kind of a history nerd. And Snafu was just this idea that emerged of history's greatest screw ups. And the screw ups are so fun to look back on because usually they're far enough in the past that you can have fun with them,

but they can also be very, very bleak. Okay, let's do some blocks. Diagnosed ADHD. How hacky is that? It just feels, but I do have the benefit of saying- When did you get diagnosed? Yeah, okay, so this is why I feel a little bit legit because I actually got an official diagnosis.

But I have to say, like I think a lot of people, I just had begun to suspect that some of my, the things I was struggling with in life might have this like overarching, like rubric or organizing principle. And ADHD was sounding like kind of an interesting possibility so I went to I

Had a neuropsychiatric evaluation and a very in-depth life as an adult fairly recently. This was fairly recently. Yeah and And I received an official diagnosis of ADHD. What was the, what did they do? Written obviously- Yes, okay, so it was basically a full day of tests and they're very kind of unusual tests because sometimes you can kind of tell

what they're testing, other times you can't. But is everything from literally like... And you can shade your answers, like if you want to have something, you can kind of be like, I can't, I'm powerless. Yeah, exactly. No, it is funny because you're like, is the test designed to pick up on people who are trying to game the test?

And like trying to get an official diagnosis. And you don't know. I actually brought as much kind of like intellectual honesty as I could to the process because I just, I really wanted some clarity and hopefully help down the road. But the questions are like, it's everything from these weird math problems and like spatial,

like geometry, yeah. And then there's ones where they tell you like a little story and then ask you questions about it. And then they come back to that an hour later, ask you more questions about it after some other testing. There's, so some of it's visual, there's weird things like on an iPad where you're like tapping test results

to test like your, I guess your eye movement to things. There's one where, that I felt was clearly sort of like, like autism, like social cue testing, which was like, you would, I think, you either watch a video or listen to a recording of someone saying something and then like multiple choice, kind of select their disposition. Are they angry?

Are they curious? Are they, you sort of like, and that's clearly like a social cues testing. And a lot of it is with a test administrator who's sitting there talking to you. And then some of it was just like, you know, traditional test taking like timed things. But it was all day.

And then they do do all the sort of crunching, number crunching over a couple of weeks and then you come back in and they talk you through all your results and they say, and then this is the, and this is what we've, this is our evaluation and ADHD is present. Yeah, is in the present. Congratulations. Ding ding, you win ADHD.

And it was a crazy, that was a crazy moment actually. Because you understood yourself better? This is why it surprised me. I kind of was expecting, you know, you hear about people saying, oh, I got the diagnosis, whether it's autism You know, you hear about people saying, oh, I got the diagnosis, whether it's autism or Asperger's or ADHD, you know, people say like, just getting the diagnosis was so reassuring

because I suddenly had a kind of pathway to understand this. Trevor Noah said that, yeah. Okay, yeah, I think that's a very common thing. And I actually even expected that because I expected the diagnosis and I expected to feel that way. I think there was maybe a moment of that,

but I actually felt, I felt scared and sad because I didn't know. I it's like, I think that there was like this fleeting reassurance, but then it was kind of like, okay, now the work begins. Like I really do have, there really is something going on here. And I- What is the work though?

I mean, yeah. Well, for me it's, and I haven't started this process yet, but it's- Well, you got ADD. You got ADHD, what do you expect? Cut yourself some slack. Yeah, I mean, if no one's expecting you to.

Yeah, I've been procrastinating. Yeah. No, but, and the short answer is I don't know, but I am diving in with this neuropsychiatrist and hoping to find a lot of tools and coaching and sort of like coping mechanisms. What's the downside? Because I can tell you the upside from watching you,

watching you, having directed you and watching you and other things, you're very good at playing hectic. You're an idiot. Europe, you, God, you're such a bad person. Yeah. You're very good at playing, you want, you have ADHD. Yeah.

Like you like want, you need answers. It's good for the parts you've gotten and it's good for the performances of like, I need, I gotta fight, I'm, I need this to be over. It has worked. Is that the vibe I gave you? It has worked, it has worked. No, I need this to be over. Just like you're good that the vibe I gave you? It has worked. It has worked. I need this to be over.

Just like you're good, you're very good at being amped. Get it, get it! Ow! That's the beauty of my career choice for my particular condition, I think. My whole life is episodic. My whole professional life is episodic and it allows me to just hyper-focus on a project,

on a character, on an episode or on a film. Like everything is so sort of tight, and I can just like go all in, which I always have loved. And then I move on to the next thing, which kind of addresses like my need for novelty and like constantly changing my environment and my pursuits. I often reflect on how unbelievably lucky I am

to have found this job and to have found this like, to have had the success that I've had in this job that's allowed me to stay in it as long as I have because I really, there's so much, I used to joke about this, Paul Giamatti had a part in Hangover 2. Where's Chow? Where's Chow? Where is Chow?

And we still laugh about this on set. Just, I'm so confused by the world. Like, I just don't understand how things work. There's so much that I am baffled by. Give me one example of a thing that you're like, how does that, how is that happening? God, it used to be- Like toll booths.

Yeah, I used to be so much more preoccupied with this. I've since kind of chilled out a bit, but I would just, I would be like, I would just drive by a gas station and suddenly just be like, how the fuck do they get all the gas in there? Where does it, how do they, where do they ship it from? Where does it come?

Like it comes out. And then when you get an answer, it's still not a good enough answer. And then somehow it's processed, it gets into tankers and then trucks. And then it gets all the way to this gas station in Tulsa, Oklahoma. And you'll see the tanker and you'll be like, that doesn't seem like enough.

Right. It's like, it's such a complex task, and I would be, or a complex system. And I was always overwhelmed by the complexity of just the systems around me. And I think that partly was due to a very excited curiosity that I've always had, and wanting to know answers, but also kind of like fleeting,

like just erasing ADHD brain that doesn't sit on things and actually do the work to figure it out or learn about something. So that's just such a random example, but it also speaks. No, but it's clear. It's so, but it also speaks to it. But it's clear. It's so, it's everything. It would be like the Supreme Court, how the fuck does that work?

Yeah. Like how does that, it's so, who runs that? Who runs all the clerks and the opinions and like get making sure the opinions get in on time and like the schedule for the court, what a like mind blowing system. I mean, I've just, and just, and so then I think, even at a small scale, my brother is a school teacher

and I'm just like, how can he do that? How does that, like it's so much, and this is again, is part of I think the ADHD brain has so much trouble contemplating complexity or grasping complex tasks. It's always been a confusing thing for me. The idea of going to a classroom every day, teaching every day, also having tons of paperwork, tons of detail-oriented.

Did you have a hard time adjusting to the Daily Show? Being on a scripted, like the day at a Daily Show, at the Daily Show of like, you're gonna do a chat. Yeah. What's the premise? Memorization. Right.

Like, did you have a hard time memorizing scenes or did you have a, did you? No, I. You know what I mean? Like, why were you able to get that? Yes, because. Because you liked it? Because I loved it.

Yeah. And it's all I wanted to do. Yeah. And I had a very sort of unearned confidence in that space that was born out of just like, this is what I meant to do. I believed that. Get out of my way. For some reason I had, yeah, I just had this, like I remember

at the Boston Comedy Club one night, I went downstairs to the Bagged Inn to like get some change to do the door, you know, like to- Money. Just have some cash for the door. And I was running up the back steps. Know them well.

From the Bagged Inn into the comedy club upstairs. And it was, it's like empirically a disgusting environment. It stinks, it smelled like you could smoke then in bars and everything smelled like spilled beer and liquor and smoke and mixed with cleaning products. And then also just like New York City mildew, gross rot. That is like- By the way, the staircase to my mind was one of the cleaner parts of it.

Right. Do you know what I mean? Like that was like a rest. That was like the DMZ. That was like the DMZ. Like there was, it wasn't any of the stuff you're describing. But I'm coming up that staircase and I'm like kind of looking around me like,

this is foul, this is gross. But also, this is exactly where I'm supposed to be. I love that I'm here, I love that I'm gonna go up into this club and get on stage in a few minutes. I'm so psyched, I'm terrified as I always was. I was nervous. Like a weird destiny or something? Yeah, or just like.

But that's, cause that's not even like a good place to be. I'm saying if you're on the daily, when you audition for the Daily Show or you audition for, for The Hanger, are, were you a good auditioner? Were you nervous? I was, I was a very good auditioner

in, partly because I actually, I did voiceovers for so long. And when you do voiceovers, you just go to thousands of auditions. And I just became this like killer at audition. At just the skill of auditioning, which is totally separate from the skill of comedy or the skill of acting.

They're like auditioning is its own skill set. And I just became like... It's like being good at a standing long jump. Yeah. As opposed to like a track meet. Yeah. You're just like, I can do it right now. Yeah.

Or it's like being good at putting on your uniform. It's like kind of unrelated. Like, and then you go and do the thing well, hopefully. But if you can put your uniform on right, then like, I mean, that's not a good metaphor. So you audition well for, you auditioned for The Daily Show, you had to do a chat on the set, you know John's watching somewhere.

Well, the first round of the audition was a um, was a cattle call at a casting agency that I'd been to hundreds of times. So I knew the casting agent. I knew, uh, the space. I knew everyone else. Not everyone else, but most other people auditioning. There were, and it was huge. It was a big cattle call. It was, like, all over town, tons of people.

But I also was a student of call. It was like all over town, tons of people. But I also was a student of The Daily Show at that time. Like I'd been watching it every night and studying it and like, you know, kind of like practicing that particular like sort of news cadence, which is very unique to news. And I put myself with a hidden camera underneath my ball set.

People sort of take it for granted. Oh, they're just talking. Well, it's actually a very specific way of talking. And this kind of dedication and focus like didn't exist anywhere else in my life, anywhere else. Like I could not. Did your parents or anyone notice like. My taxes were late every year.

I couldn't deal with like a lot of basic life things. Did you notice the difference? Were you like, I guess I'm like a fuck up, but not about this. I noticed that I was very anxious about life responsibilities all the time. I was very anxious about life responsibilities all the time. I was very anxious about, you know, getting things done that I needed to

for the management of my life. But I didn't, and I also was feeling very confident in my workspace, which again, was not entirely earned, but it just was like this gut feeling. And that discrepancy, I definitely noticed. I was bothered by it. I was stressed out by it.

And I think it did start to affect my work at a certain point. The sloppiness or the laziness in other areas. Well, yeah, or just the difficulty, the sort of the anxiety in other areas. Well, yeah, or just the difficulty, the sort of the anxiety in other areas. Yeah. And then, and that's when I think probably a couple years into the Daily Show is when I first started going to a therapist

to like, what is going on? And I don't think I saw a great therapist early on. So it was- Yep, that's another thing that not enough people understand. And so I just was kind of spinning my wheels in that process. And, but it was, I also think even a bad therapist is good,

is good for you. It's better than nothing, yes. It's definitely better than nothing because a bad therapist will, unless they're actually giving you bad advice or telling you bad things, which this guy wasn't, he just was like a bump on a lock. But it does force you to just articulate

your fears and feelings in a way that really no other space kind of lets you do. and feelings and like in a way that really no other space kind of lets you do. And I just found tons of value in that. Like just talking out loud, externalizing my fears or frustrations or what have you. That was, and it's why I tell, it's why I'm always an advocate for, for therapy. You're absolutely right. And that, that, uh, it's better than nothing. And it just used

it as an opportunity. Don't even worry what they're going to say. Yeah. What do you, what's on your mind? Don't worry about like their diagnosis. Just hear yourself. Try to understand yourself before they even get involved. By the way, which is what happens most of the time, even with a great therapist is you'll be like, oh, I see what I'm doing. Before they even say anything. Before they say anything.

Yeah. Cause another set of ears, you'll be like, how was this sounding? Right. To anyone. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, I got ADHD. It's so powerful to like, to just be forced

to articulate what's going on in your body. Like whatever you're feeling, just saying it. We so rarely, even with the people very close to us in our lives, like it's very hard. We spend most of our time not saying what's going on. And in comedy, don't even think about it. Yeah. You are instantly making yourself a target.

The second you're vulnerable about your feelings in the comedy space, like, oh my God. Although, most good jokes are some breaking the thing of like, no, here's what's actually happening. So in terms of, yes. A certain standup special called blocks, for example. But most of life is just going like, no, I'm great. And this is great.

This is everything's gonna work out. Yeah, and like is great. Yeah. This is everything's going to work out. Yeah. And like, making fun of your friends Yeah, for life. Who are being vulnerable. You're like, fuck out of here. Today's show is brought to you by Tushy, because it's time to give up wiping with toilet paper.

We've stuck with toilet paper because it's familiar, but all it does is smear stuff and bacteria around, leaving you feeling unclean and uncomfortable. Washing with a Tushy bidet, you get a targeted stream of fresh water to get you two times cleaner than wiping ever could. It's time to retire that outdated routine and upgrade to a fresh, confident clean. Set up is easy, and the results?

Absolutely a game changer. Once you've experienced the Tushy bidet, your butt will never settle for less. I mean look I've got I've got the home Tushy and the road Tushy happily. I used my own promo code as a matter of fact. The home Tushy, put it in myself, works great, just works great. Like it's got the knob, strength, direction, all that stuff. Now here's what surprised me. The road TUSHY. It doesn't look like much, but it looks, I don't, I'm just going to say it looks like a sippy cup. And then you toot and you tooted and it does everything you want it to do. That's all I'm going to say. It works as well as the home TUSHY. Feel

shower fresh when you need it most and join the two million butts who've already switched to Tushy. For a limited time, our listeners get 10% off their first bidet order when you use code NEAL at checkout. That's 10% off your first bidet order at HelloTushy, H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y.com with promo code Neil. It's great. L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y.com with promo code Neil. It's great. The home one's great and the road one's great.

Hellotushy.com. Okay, so I'm curious as to now that you've got the diagnosis. So when you look, when the effect it had on you is interesting in that, did it, it gave you, was it a bit of like a Kaiser Soze of like, I knew it. You've known this whole fucking time. And that's why I did this, this, this and this. And I'll stop beating myself up or was it,

I gotta, now that I know this, I can do this work and stop being how? Because- Yeah, great question. It's objectively working. Right. Who's mad? Your wife, your kids, your parents, you?

Yeah, I am. What's supposed to be happening that's not happening? I still attach a lot of shame to some of the shortcomings that I experience. I still attach a lot of shame to some of the shortcomings that I experience. And that is what I am hoping to detach from with more work in this area, because I still do struggle with some of the things,

life responsibilities. And that is hard for the people that love me and I'm close to. With this diagnosis, I would love to just sort of like step back like you said and be like, oh, I'm actually, like, maybe I should go easier on myself. I haven't quite gotten there yet. I haven't quite gotten there yet.

I haven't quite earned that yet. I do like have a lot of self love. I'm not just like mired in self, you know, ridicule. But. Like there aren't places where you're like, I shouldn't be here. Like you belong, you feel like you belong in the staircase at the Boston. Yeah. and at the Daily Show and in the Hangover.

I still have, I definitely still have like imposter syndrome creeping in. That's another thing I've always struggled with is sort of owning my success and feeling, like, I actually, that confidence that I talk about early in my career, I weirdly, it's the more success I got, it became more elusive. Does that make any sense?

Yeah, well, it got pretty crazy. It did. You were on the Office Ensemble, and which I would say was like, probably two degrees less severe than the Hangover, in terms of like fucking energy. Was it easier to do it with people? Was it easier to like, you could share the,

you could share the hangover with Bradley and Yeah, and not feel like it it's all you and totally, I think and the office too was a sort of like in all Every one of those moments, the Daily Show and the Office.

Yeah, three. And then the Hangover, like, I all, every single one had just amazing people around me in the same boat. And you're all contributing something different. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? The Hangover especially, it's like, you're all energetically,

the tension of the differences, you can go, you don't have to beat yourself up, you could reduce it in a way, I would bet, and go like, well, I'm playing like an uptight guy, who wants, like, and I'm good at that, and you could explain it away so that it wasn't like, am I Laurence Olivier? Am I the greatest fucking actor? Like, but I'm sure it was a balance.

Yeah, I think that as my sort of celebrity status increased, so did a lot of like, I don't know, just expectations on me in ways that I didn't know how to navigate very easily. Can you tell me some? So I think, like I've always been intimidated by celebrities. And like, you know, so I get starstruck.

Yeah. And so going to the, it's going to like X, Y or Z dinner party or Oscar party or whatever, like, I'm pretty anxious. And like, and that's, that's not always, but I think. And probably not, you are at times where you thought you wouldn't be and you're not nervous for people

you thought you'd be scared of. Yeah. You don't know what's gonna, it's a wild card every time. A little bit, yeah. So like someone that I might be really excited to meet because I've admired them for a long time. And there's one meeting in particular,

I won't name them because I just don't wanna name check them in this context, but I met someone that I really, really admired. And he was so gracious, came up to me with a big handshake and was like, how's it going? Tell me about yourself. I'm excited to meet you. And I was just like, tongue-tied and kind of like awkward. And I think he walked away kind of like, I mean, who knows?

Who really knows? But the moment just sort of ended on a little bit of a, huh, okay, all right, see you later. And you know it's lost and you can't explain like, oh, I'm freaking out right now, yeah. Yeah, and I would say that's like probably at this point half the time. What was the imposter syndrome part?

It's usually, it's almost never on a set. Like when it comes down to like being in the creative process, that is like a sweet spot for me and I love it. And I love to collaborate. And you can deliver. Like you don't find yourself panicking in that situation. You know how to do it.

Yeah, it's fun. It's so, it's a challenge, but it's like, it's so, so fun. And it's also this sort of childish fulfillment. Like it's what I always wanted to do. And so there's this feeling of like, when I'm on a set, especially if it's with people that I am excited to be with and the material's good, which I've been incredibly lucky to have a lot.

I just am in no, there's no better place. Like it is. So with the imposter syndrome. The imposter syndrome is everything else. The imposter syndrome is like a red carpet or like lots of kinds of press appearances or like parties. And again, it's not always,

but it does kind of creep in there. I think part of one of my ADHD, or something sort of under that umbrella is that I am appallingly bad. I mean, this is a cliche, but like people say like I'm bad with names, but like, no, no, no, I don't know anyone's names. Like I don't know anyone's names.

So, and when you're famous, everyone knows your name. So you go and- And they expect you to remember the time you met. They want to believe that you, they made an impression that you to remember the time you met. They want to believe that you, they made an impression that you'll remember. Right. Well, that's one thing, but also famous people reasonably expect you

to know their names, but I forget their names. I forget famous people. For the people I might be a fan of, I might have like a brain fart, and I just can't remember people's names. And so that's like, that makes moments. And this guy I don't need to introduce. There are ways to cover for it.

There's so many tricks. You know this guy. Like Hulk Hogan was famously bad with names and would just call everyone brother. And they're like, okay, that works. Fantastic. Brother. And you don't have that confidence

of just being able to shake someone's hand and look them in the eye and like say, hey George, how have you been? Yeah. When you don't have access to that name, there's, your overall confidence is like dramatically diminished in that moment. By 20%.

Yeah, that's a good number I think. And it's sort of, there's a hangover from it cause you're like, then you're like, then you start second guessing yourself like, wait, is that their name? I need that, that like Bill Clinton, like a president has like an advanced guy or whatever that just stands there and is like,

this is so and so. Well, you know what I do on set, and I don't know if I did it on the goods. I think I probably did it after, everyone wears name tags. In fact, I may have done on the goods because I remember somebody getting them. It started because someone got upset because they didn't remember their name.

Yeah, my mom's in a retirement community and everyone wears names tags. And I'm just, I just think it's the best. It is the best. By the way, anyone who's seen me do it does it at work. If you direct anything or even at the podcast in the office, be like, I'm so bad when they, or you could just say you were diagnosed with face blindness

at your big test. Yeah, well that's the- At your big cognitive exam. I don't have face blindness. I know you don't. I know that I know someone. That's like the, I don't have face blindness. I don't have face blindness. I know you don't. I know that I know someone. That's like the- Yes.

I wish I had face blindness. I know. Because I wish I could just be like, no idea. But I know, I'm like, I know that person. And then you do the thing where you second guess, is it Maureen or Margaret? Oh God. And if it's Maureen, you assume it's, yeah,

it's just, it is a bit of a nightmare. And I don't know if it's, I think all of these are pretty much ADHD. Well, it's also, it speaks to, I have no chill. Yes. Because of these things. Like it is hard for me to feel chill. Does that mean you don't enjoy vacations?

You don't enjoy watching a movie? You don't, what is it? When you say no chill, what do you mean? I mean that, like the story of the movie, what is it, when you say no chill, what do you mean? I mean that, like the story I just told about meeting someone I was very excited to meet and always wanted to meet and then having no ability to actually deliver on my authentic self in that moment. And that's so heartbreaking to me.

Like I mourn for those moments. Can I guess who it was based in your impression? Tom Hanks. No. Wasn't Tom Hanks. I thought it was Tom Hanks or Ron Hafford. It wasn't Tom Hanks and from now on, if you continue to ask me,

I'll say I'll neither confirm nor deny. Okay, fair enough. But so yeah, like I, this could be a total projection, but I perceive you to be someone that, like, can somewhat effortlessly, like, just engage in chats with people that might have, like, much higher or lower,

just a differential in status that is, like, that is not a hurdle for you. But for some reason, I get in my head and I like, those can be tough moments. And it's frustrating. Well, I know what you mean though. And like the panic before a social situation. Yeah.

Cause I still have them and I have the name thing. And I always forget that I'm fairly decent at it. And I just get- Yeah, and I'm probably better than I think at it too. And I think, and I'm also better than I was. Like I've definitely chilled out over time. It's funny, you were talking about like the sort of like amped up characters that I played in both on The office and in the goods and Stu in the hangover.

Like I actually don't I don't think I could play Andy at this point the same way. Like I would make different. Why? All of that, like so much of the tension and I think anxiousness that I held in my body and my confusion about the world around me was what I was kind of like, uh, purging through those characters. Like, like Andy, Andy was so bad at social cues. Where you going? You want me to come with?

Oh. That was just like me on steroids. Like, it going? You want me to come with? Oh. That was just like me on steroids. Like, it was a sort of, it was a way for me to kind of like, I think, laugh at and like, externalize and laugh at so many of my own foibles and insecurities. And I, and it's why also I tried to bring so much compassion to Andy because it was important to me to endow Andy with like an intrinsic sweetness or an intrinsic goodness

because I sort of want that to be true about myself. Do you find the aging, do you find getting better at doing different kinds of parts other than just like you look older, you look... Sure. I think my sort of interests have evolved, and they've kind of evolved with... in a way that I think is very organic for most actors. It's just like as you age and your life experience changes.

So like having a family is such a dramatic change. Now I've now played a dad a couple of times and I love it. I love like Rusty Griswold in Vacation. It was like one of the most joyful movie parts I've ever had the great luck to play. We're the Griswolds, you piece of ass. And then I just did this Jennifer Garner movie, Family Switch for Netflix, big Christmas movie.

So fun, like just joyful, parenthood comedy. I would have definitely rolled my eyes at that 20 years ago, but I'm thrilled by it now. Well, it's funny, and you have a history podcast. Do you know what I mean? Like, the stuff where we all age and then you go, if I heard that I would, you would have written yourself off.

Yes. Like, what are you, David Halberstam? You're like a historian now. But at the age you go, yeah, I don't care about the shit I cared about. I just don't, I can't convince myself. And I just have to admit, like, I have old taste. Exactly. I play older, like, cause I don't.

I'm older. Yeah, you're never gonna, 15 years ago, you're never gonna... In 15 years ago, you might have gone on a bachelor trip to Vegas. Yes. And now you are never going to do that. Right. Unless it's with the cast of The Hangover.

Right. For money. For a second or third marriage. Yes. For somebody. For money. So I'm forgiving you for aging. Oh, thank you.

Okay, taking on too much. Well, time blindness. Yeah, same, yeah, in the same family. Yeah, time blindness, do you know what that is? I can guess. You can guess, yes. Do you have no sense of how much time passes during something?

Yes, that is correct. And I'm very bad at estimating durations, whether in the past or in the future. So this is so strange, but it wasn't until probably my 30s that I just started to clock like, why can't I tell you dates from my past? Or the-

My girlfriend cannot remember dates at all. The way that everyone I know can. Years she doesn't know. Yeah. Yeah. So like I can tell you tons of events from my history. I have actually a pretty good narrative memory of my life. I have actually a pretty good narrative memory of my life. And if you give me a, like a cue for like a time or place, like I can get there and remember so many vivid details,

but I cannot tell you the sequence that they happened in. I can't tell you what dates, like years or seasons or months. And for so many people, that years or seasons or months. And for so many people that is just totally effortless. Effortless, right? Like my mom just will just be like, remember when you were here in June last year? And I can be like, what did we do?

Cause that's gonna make me remember. You seem familiar. No, but like what was the activity, or what was the place, like what was the reason for the visit, because that's what I will remember. June, meaningless to me. Like, I don't, I cannot attach things. Living in LA does not help that.

The total lack of seasons. Yeah, well that's true, but I've always been, and that's one of the things I think, you know, I spoke to my sort of generalized confusion about the systems of the world, time always confused me, like always scared me even. Like, how do you know that? How do people know that?

How can you place things? How can you schedule with confidence that far in the future? How do you know that? How do people know that? How can you place things? How can you schedule with confidence that far in the future? How can you know? You must have been scared a lot. I think that's not an unfair, I mean, it was, I call it anxious, but I think there was-

Yeah, but like, kind of like, I don't know how to, not fend for myself in the wild, but it's like outside of the things you were good at, the things you could really focus on, you must've just been hoping for luck. I hope, because you do seem, you did always seem intelligent and there is something about you that's absent minded.

Do you know what I mean? Like that is now that you're explaining it, I'm like, it makes sense to, the thing that you had in your ADHD diagnosis, I'm having. Where I'm like, oh, that's what you were experiencing is cause you seem astute, aware, and partially absent. Yeah. I think, I think there's something to that.

And yeah, I think fear is, is maybe feels like too strong of a word, but I actually think it's a fair word in certain contexts and certainly like going back to like early years. But I think, yeah. They were thinking about stuff. I always thought you were thinking about stuff, but it wasn't the thing I would have wanted you to be thinking about, if that makes sense.

Like you were engaged and you were thoughtful, but it wasn't about this. Uh-huh. It wasn't, you were. Are you talking about on set? No, I guess I'm talking, I'm talking numb to think of you like generally, because I guess I've only dealt with you on set,

but it was like you were intelligent and engaged and Yeah. Elsewhere. A little bit. Yeah. That's the part of me that's just trying to figure out what's going on. Yeah.

Now I realize like, cause you're kind of like trying to scope it out. And I have a reasonable amount of confidence in my general intelligence. Like I know a lot about a lot of things. Mystery podcast, number one. I care about curiosity. I think curiosity is a beautiful thing.

I explore my curiosity very often and I love to go deep with people on random topics. Like it is just my favorite thing. And yet there are some other ways that I've always, and this took years for me to start to piece together. Like again, I don't think any of this really started to gel until my 30s or started to kind of like, like it was of like, it was just a sort of like simmering sense that something was wrong

or different. And so there was some shame and fear mixed in with all of that. And it was really in my 30s that I started to actually like, okay, I'm noticing that time is a weird thing for me. The way that I experience time is weird. And I would actually start to keep track. Time is weird for me. What else is weird for me? What else do I do a little bit differently or think differently? What other ways that so many people behave and take certain behaviors for granted

that are maybe very hard for me or incomprehensible to me? Yeah. And that's what led me to this neuropsychiatrist. Eventually it was a feeling of like, I really wanna do better. And being in a relationship will bring it into very sharp relief.

Having a family and like, I don't even know the depth of all the things that I am struggling with here. And I just need, and you know, I did go to therapy for many, many years and I had many therapists over the years, some good, some bad, and they were often very helpful with sort of like, I don't know, emotional analysis and kind of regulation and working through difficult feelings and moments in chapters of my life. But there still was this thing that I couldn't quite, that just felt weird and different.

And I didn't quite, that just felt weird and different. And I didn't even start to, I never even really brought that up consciously in therapy sessions until much more recently. Well, you say you're not face blind, you may be time blind, but I thought, I think Oliver Sacks wrote, he wrote, I think it was a big, either book or New Yorker article

about being face blind. Sure. And prosopagnosia. Yes. So you head into, it's what you were saying earlier, with just your confidence kind of hobbled because you're having a conversation, you're almost, it's almost like the movie Memento.

Uh-huh. Where there's the beginning of one of those scenes is like. Okay, so what am I doing? Oh, I'm chasing this guy, no? He's chasing me. Right. Where you're just trying to gauge like, what's going on here?

A little bit, it's obviously not quite that dramatic. Yeah, not severe, yeah. But something about where you're like, did you find yourself, because one of the big autism questions is, do you find yourself doing an impression of people? Not literally a vocal impression, but like, do you watch sitcoms or television shows

to see how most people are behaving? And I've never had that. And I don't think you do either, but I'm saying, I, there are people that do, that are watching it almost like, come in. Right, right, right. You're like, hey everybody. Yeah, interesting. Shake a hand, and I don't think you're anywhere near

that severe, but. No, I didn't, I didn't do that, but you know what I did do, is I would watch, I did that from a professional standpoint. I would watch actors and analyze their performances. And to the Daily Show thing of like, John, thank you, I'm coming. Like, knowing how to do that. And even voiceovers, I would repeat voiceovers

that I heard in commercials as just a study. I did a Samsung campaign and I was doing Jon Hamm. On the Samsung Galaxy S5. I was doing Jon Hamm. There you go. As doing his BMW. You know what we make. Basic, my version of that.

S5. There's, we're all derivative. There is nothing new under the sun and like, it's just, there's no shame in just owning. Yeah, and I'm sure Ham's doing somebody. Yeah. You know what I mean? Ham's doing you.

What? This is a feedback loop. You guys, and I've noticed that you're starting to get high pitched. I know, I know. It's very, very disconcerting. Yeah, so you find yourself, so you weren't like masking or impersonating,

but there was probably a bit of a like, oh, that thing with time and like, okay, everybody is seeing time. Everybody's aware of how long that took. Why, okay, keep an eye on that. What would your marching orders be for yourself? My coping mechanism, oftentimes, was just to focus on things that I was good at.

So I would just focus on acting. I would focus on joke writing or whatever. Or music is another big outlet for me. Yeah. You play banjo, right? You have to stop. Yeah. And guitar and, or, you know, certain, certain social settings, being with certain people that lift me up. I would just sort of just chase the things

that gave me positive reinforcement. That is not a long-term success strategy. You really do have to just deal with tough shit. And so the answer is like, I'm still in that process. Like I'm still working on it. And I'm not altogether, like I'm still scared trying to get to a more like effective place and a more effective version of myself,

both as a spouse and a dad and a friend to so many people I care about. I'm working on it. Will you tell me the knock on you as a friend? Because are you doing it for, are you doing it because you wanna be more comfortable in your experience? Or do you feel like you're doing it because you're disappointing more comfortable in your experience or do you feel like you're doing it

because you're disappointing people or you're not fitting in or is it just like, no, I would like to just be, I would like this to be more pleasant because that's been a big change for me. It's like, no, I wanna enjoy this more. I think it's a lot of that, but it's also in certain contexts,

wanting to show up better and, um, and be a more, you know, address like certain response responsibilities with, uh, with more efficiency and, um, and less like, I don't know, uh, trepidation and, and, or, you know, like I said't know, trepidation and, and or, you know, like I said, like gravitating towards positive situations, experiences, people, like that leaves a lot of very important life not dealt with properly.

So it's a- You know what's funny at RH, you can just maybe run the clock out. You're like, how much longer are we gonna be here? not dealt with properly. So it's a- You know what's funny at RH, you can just maybe run the clock out. You're like, how much longer I'm gonna be here? I could, I've never done it, but it's like, I could change, but like it's almost over.

Yeah, why bother, right? That is, you're right. What am I doing? No, but it is, to your question, I think it is both. It's like, I'm starting to understand ways that I could be better and I want to because I still have, for better or worse,

like some amount of shame or just frustration with myself, some of which is probably irrational or not fair to myself, but I'm still trying to be myself, some of which is probably irrational or not fair to myself, but I still feel it. And I still see my shortcomings and I just wanna, I mean, I just, I wanna give a real effort at being like, I just wanna keep trying. Yeah, I will say in your defense, we have a small window of notion, but I'm saying it's

never seemed selfish. Do you know what I mean? You know how we have friends that have problems that keep benefiting them? Yeah. Interesting. They have ADD and it prevents them from asking you questions. Or you know what I mean? Like I'm autistic,

except when high status people are around. Or like, we know 40 people like that. Yeah, yeah. I've never thought of you as a flawed guy. And, but I will say, it doesn't seem malevolent. You seem like a kind person. You've always, in my experience, are a kind person. So I would just say like, yeah, see if you can improve.

But like, it doesn't seem to come from a bad place. Well, I appreciate that. Yeah, like it really doesn't, it doesn't, I've never even subtly, like, Helm's a little, like I've never, you just seem like a nice guy and you're like great and funny and a showbiz contributor. Like you're contributing a lot and like you just, yeah, if you have like, I do the stuff

that makes you feel shit, like make yourself feel better. Cause everybody else will feel better after that. Wait, say that again. Meaning do the stuff that if you wanna improve as a person, do it for your own, I think. I mean, that's always my philosophy. And I feel like it's a good parenting philosophy too. Yeah, I do.

I also, I think that, you know, it's some old adage, but like the best thing you can do for the people you love is to work on yourself. Yeah. And I really believe that. And I think, you know, you want to engage with the people you love and work on those dynamics always as well.

Yeah. But it's not just that, it's also us individually. Yeah think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point.

I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point.

I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point.

I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think that's a good point. I think, speaks to her sort of value system that she, I gave her a ukulele for her birthday at, I think when she was 78 or 80 maybe. And she was just like, I'm gonna learn this thing and got after it. And just was like, this is it and just was like, this is, and she's like, I've always loved music

and this is just this way that maybe I can grow, keep growing. And she loves it. And now she's like the go-to ukulele player for birthday sing-alongs at her retirement community. They're like, Pam, get over here. We got another birthday. And she leads the birthday.

It's like, it's just awesome. And I just feel like never stop trying. And I don't know, like, I also feel this, like humility is such an important thing to bring to any process, whether it's a relationship or a work environment or self-improvement. Like, there's a point at which humility can turn into

just like self-loathing or self-flagellation. But, and I think I've, that's where I've struggled, as I mentioned earlier, just sort of like owning my success, I think, like finding that line between humility and like genuine earned pride and sort of like accepting my role as like a meaningful, like you were saying very generously, and I appreciate like a serious contributor

to this business that I love and that I've committed my life to. Like, and I sometimes forget that or I second guess it or I let my sort of, I don't know, like insecurity just sort of undermine that. Yeah, there's also like pride cometh before the fall and all that stuff. Right, right.

There's all the phrases of like biblical punishment for pride and all that stuff. It's like, or I can just acknowledge what I am, not even like what I am, just like, I don't know, I fucking can figure, I can be in a scene and make it funny and then I can do a what I am. Not even like what I am, just like, I don't know, I fucking can figure, I can be in a scene and make it funny and then I can do a talk show to promote it. And I can do, and you can feel that way

without being an asshole about it. Yeah, and you don't have to go the other way of like, but I also don't understand time. And I will never forgive myself. So you give yourself grace in both directions. Exactly. Ed Helms, thank you for doing the podcast and also thanks for not pronouncing

ukulele, ukalele. Ukulele? Unbearable. Thank you buddy. Thank you buddy. It was great to see you. Everybody wants to have it, wants to have it real, my man All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man