Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - George Wallace

Episode Date: June 6, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews George Wallace (Comedy Legend, Best 10pm Show in Las Vegas) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- Subscribe to George Wallace:  @GeorgeWallaceTV   00:00 Intro 1:53 Richard Pryor 5:33 Paul Mooney 7:25 Starting standup 8:48 Jerry Seinfeld friendship 15:03 Would you rather be famous or rich?  18:30 Marketing, moving to LA 21:53 Tonight Show + Early Comedy 35:46 Sly & The Family Stone / Chappelle 41:55 Borderline Hoarding   45:30 Travel 48:45 Doesn’t Want To Die With Money in The Bank 52:13 Shopaholic  55:30 Disco in Ibiza in the 70s 59:45 Hypochondriac 1:02:50 Never Seen Anything.   1:08:00 Ageism   1:18:00 What He’s Proudest Of ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks ---------------------------------------------------------- #podcast #comedy #mentalhealth #standup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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That's the powerful backing of American Express. Visit amex.ca slash yamex. Benefits vary by car and other conditions apply. I remember everything you and Jerry have ever said to me. I swear to you. Like, I just like, it just goes in a box. He's an idiot. Hi.

You caught us in, we were talking about Jerry Seinfeld. And he's an idiot. I said he's an idiot. Yeah, you did. I'm not a yes man to him. Everybody else is a yes man but not me. That's why you don't talk to him more than twice a year. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest today

is, uh, the word legend kind of is an insult. It's stupid, isn't it? It's just like, you just say old. He's an old man here. Yeah. He's been in the business over 30 years. Yeah. And I've been in the business over 40 years. Pretty soon, close in the business over 30 years. Yeah. And I've been in business over 40 years. Pretty soon, close to 50 years, 48 years this year.

Damn. He's a legend. I'm a legend. Same joke. He's from Chicago. He had the number one 930 show on the strip in Las Vegas. Dude, you got it all wrong, right? It's the 10 p.m. show. The best show, the best 10 p.m. show in Las Vegas.

And that was from a magazine called? It's a newspaper, the whole newspaper in Las Vegas, the Las Vegas Review Journal. Didn't you make up the review? I made the shit up about the number one best show in town, all that, yeah. I'm a marketing guy. I'm full of bullshit. If you don't promote yourself, who else is going to promote you? Don't you have the best show on Netflix right now?

Yeah. I'm talking to you, okay? Yeah. Aren't you crazy? It's ranked number four, though. I can't say. It's not the number one. Forget about number one.

To you and me right now, it's number one. You're goddamn right. Yeah. In all of comedy, yes. There you go. On the strip and i'm from atlanta by the way he's from atlanta and then he lived in chicago and he's had a incredible life and it's very interesting and he's got good blocks but before that we're gonna talk some shit

about experiences and friends that we have in common let's do that all right you said something people you and you're claiming, I don't think you made it up, but you don't remember. We're talking about a legend, Richard Pryor. He's a legend. Okay.

He's legitimately a legend. He's number one and number 1A. Yeah, you believe that in terms of stand-up? He's number 1 and 1A for me because I got George Carlin to deal with for me, okay? So between Richard and George Carlin,

let's just say both number one. So do you say that as like, cause somebody would go, Oh, he's a hater. Cause he won't say Dave or Chris or, or Bill Burr. And like, he's a, is it only, is it like my generation? It's my generation. Yeah. Muhammad Ali is the greatest boxer ever as far as I'm concerned.

Yeah. You lucked out on that. Cause he is. Do you know what I mean? Like he is your generation. Well, I lucked out on Richard too. And I lucked out on George Carlin is. Do you know what I mean? He is your generation. I looked out on Richard, too, and I looked out on George Carlin. For me.

You asked me. Why? Give me a reasoning. Well, Richard Pryor was actually the one guy, the first guy to just bring everybody together, the blacks and the whites, and off his head and what he thought, what he grew up with, and also being honest with himself. More than Dick Gregory? Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, just because I wasn't there and I only know them secondhand. Yeah, way more than Dick Gregory. And George Collins is absolutely brilliant, man. I was reading his book called, I think it was Brain Droppings. Brain Droppings, yeah. And I just put the book.

I can't read this shit. I can't do this because everything you think you may have thought of was already in the book. It was something simple. Like I said, what do they say operators are standing by? They're not standing by. I read it. I put the book down.

I don't want to read no more because whatever I think I thought of, George Clooney already did it. Making you feel bad. Yeah, it made me feel real bad. Like you too. I was watching the other night and I'm going like, oh my God. I'm intimidated right now to be honest. Should be. I'm not really intimidated.

I still say fuck you, but I mean as far as. No, but there's a respect to the fuck you you're so brilliant neil thank you i can't even express my gratitude for you saying that well you can't say thank you twice i can't okay i would i can't even get there but you said something the thing that i the reason i bring up richard pryor is because you were at the comedy store every night ish when he was developing live on the sunset yeah and his process as you remember it was what this process was to go on stage with nothing and when i say zero below that below that and we go like and this is

after the other albums you know and he's oh, he don't got it this time. He's out. He's clean out. Yeah. Yeah. And come back the second night. He would eat shit for how long? A week.

But like he'd do an hour? He would stay up there and do, I mean, eat shit for an hour. And then he comes in the back and just going. We got him. Finally. Finally, he's down on our level. And he'd do it in the third week. You go, well, at least it's better than it was the last two weeks.

And the fourth week, you go, well, hey, it's coming together. And the fifth week and the sixth week and about the twelfth week, live where? On Sunset. It's going, holy shit. But at the beginning, it was just atrocious. Nothing. And people would shout out, do Mudbone, do this, do that. I ain't doing no Mudbone.

Please, take us out of our misery. It was the worst time. I don't know whether he felt bad about it, but he knew what he was doing. Yeah. He had to start from zero and go up. Would it be like bad versions of what became good, or he would start on one premise and then one part of it would work that he didn't expect, and he'd go into that? Everything.

Everything you can think of. It's just like we do. You start with a bit. Every night I start with a bit. Don't get nothing. I actually tell the people, that needs work. Yeah. And I'll work on it, and maybe in six months.

Sometimes it takes a year to perfect a joke. Three years to know where to put it in place. But Richard did all of that, man. He was like putting pieces together. You know, he had Mooney and everybody. Paul Mooney, yeah. Yeah, and then put everything together after. Okay, let's try it this way, let's try it that way.

Then they put everything together, and man, what a blending. The story I've heard is that Mooney helped him sort of be more Malcolm X-y, for lack of a better categorization? More like a little more militant? Maybe so, because that was Mooney's attitude. Yeah.

That still was. That was Mooney's attitude. It still was. Till the day he died. Till the day he died. Yeah. Sometimes Mooney was, I thought Mooney was mean sometimes, and I didn't know how to deal with him because I don't deal with personalities, because one day Mooney would speak to you,

the next day he wouldn't, with his head up in the air. And I thought that was, you know, I'm a nice guy, and I'm used to everybody being nice every day. Yeah. And sometimes he could be like that. He could be really, really mean and nasty. Now imagine you're a white person, and that was me dealing with Paul Mooney.

Because he would do you too, right? Yeah, I thought, I was like, Mooney, didn't me and Dave put you on TV? White people love Wayne Brady because he makes Brian Gumbel look like Malcolm X. And then he's just like, I don't care. He didn't ever say that, but I'm just saying like. But you felt it.

Oh, energetically. And when he would be on stage sometimes, he would talk about white people like, I think they would get up and walk out. Back in the day, when they'd get up and walk out, it was so bad. Yeah. what white people like. I think they would get up and walk out. Back in the day,

we'd get up and walk out. It was so bad. And I was going, boy, his attitude is really strange to hate white people that much. And then we'd walk out on the street. He'd be with white people. He'd be with a white woman, is what you're trying to say.

He'd be with a white woman, yeah. Yeah. No, he did. He loved white people and he hated them in equal measure. In equal, that's so true. And I wasn't even mad at it.

So, all right, let's give people a back story who've never heard of you. There's a lot of people who've never heard of me. I'm still new, dude. Even though I'm a legend, I'm still new. To some people, yeah. To a lot of people. Yeah, to a lot of people. So who are you?

Okay, I'm Henry Wallace. I'm George Henry Wallace, okay? Great. You don't hear that before, do you? Uh-uh. Is that your real name? That's my, okay? Great. You don't hear that before, do you? Uh-uh. Is that your real name? That's my real name. Great.

So when I came out here in 1977, George Wallace was already in the union, and I had to choose another name. I wasn't smart enough to put George Henry Wallace, but I just changed the whole name because my dad was George Wallace. George Wallace is a good name. And plus it was a time I had just come out of college, and my nickname was Governor. So I was pleased with the name George Wallace. Make it a good name. Fantastic. And you cleaned it up.

I cleaned it up. And it's pretty cool that I got the name. Yeah. And people ask me to change my name. And I'm meeting people with crazy names, crazy names. Like we have a comedian friend named Lipshit, and you'd think he did change his name. Then I met a guy named dr f

og in washington dc good friend of mine dr f a g o t no i swear to god you're not gonna trick me into saying that huh not these days listen to me these days you can google him if you want to i believe he's a doctor and i said you ever think about changing that? Let's just change it to forgot that you can't. You can't do it. He's proud to be one. All right. So you started Comedy Wear. Catch a Rising Star in New York City. The year?

1976. Did they open mic? Yes, Monday night. And who was the emcee? Richard Belzer. Pretty good emcee. And who else was on the show? Jewish kid.

Became my good friend. I don't like to mention his name, but we were there the same night. Sure. And 47 years, we're still running the streets in New York City, sometimes doing three or four shows. Talking about Jerry Seinfeld from Seinfeld. From Seinfeld. And you guys drove out here together, right?

Well, first of all, we became roommates for 13 years. A lot of people don't know that. I'm the real roommate. Oh, you're the real. Got it, got it, got it. I'm the real roommate for 13 years. A lot of people don't know that. I'm the real roommate. Oh, you're the real, got it, got it, got it. I'm the real roommate for 13 years. Where do you guys live? We lived at 129 West 81st Street. You were roommates in New York?

Yeah, we started together, catch a ride. No, I know, but I thought you were roommates out here. Well, when he moved out here, we were roommates for a minute. No, until he found a better place. He got his act together. Yeah, until he got his act together. You guys drove out here together, correct? Yes, we did.

In a Ford LT. What kind of car was it? It actually was a 76 Lincoln. Continental? Continental, yeah. Continental. That's a big car. That was a big car.

But it wasn't. It was the two-door. Oh, great. That's more reasonable. Still probably bigger than most cars today. It's still three smart cars. Yeah, for real. That's true.

You can put three smart cars on there. And the story I love telling people is, if you would mind doing the honors, that you anderry went to a uh fortune teller palm reader i think her name was miss mary or something like that on melrose on melrose avenue we were walking and you know comedians are crazy oh my god there's a a psycho let's go over there and fuck with her you know not believing anything's going to come out of it just going over five dollars whatever was we're not going to do anything let's's go. We went over there, and the lady started reading my palm. She said, oh, my God. You're going to make a lot of money.

That's what she said to me. And I'm looking at Jerry like, you're going to make a lot of money. And then I said, you go. He said, no, I'm not going to go. I said, you go. And I pushed him over there, and the lady read his palm. And she looked at me. She says, oh, my God. I thought he was going to make a lot of money.

You're really going to. And then I got pissed. I really got pissed. But I didn't know at the time. She was so right. We should go over there. She's the greatest psychic maybe of all time. As far as I'm concerned.

But she was right. I made a lot of money. She was definitely right. Let me put it like this. I made enough money. Right. He made a lot was right. I made a lot of money. She was definitely right. Let me put it like this. I made enough money. Right. He made a lot of money. He made a lot of money.

Yeah. But I do the same thing he does. I don't have the jet, but he has a jet. Right. You have United. No, no. I use his jet. Do you really?

Yeah. Why not? He says to me the other day, you need to get your own plane. I'm going, what's wrong with this one? So, you know, it's an honor and a pleasure. He's that good to me. He's my best friend. You can't imagine what a friend.

I wish everybody had a friend like Jerry Seinfeld. Jerry is not my best friend. He is a friend. He ain't nobody's best friend. Except yours? Except me. Great. I'm not going to interrupt that.

He's an introvert. He's totally introverted. He's on that spectrum where he doesn't do well with people, but he's getting better. What I was going to say is he's a friend, but he's a good texter back. He's solid. His fundamentals are solid. He's so methodical. That's his problem. He's so clean. He's never fooled around. He doesn't do everything by the book.

His office is so clean. When I, we were roommates, I was actually scared to mess up the kitchen or anything like that. He's just so clean. His office is just like this table right now. I didn't even like that you pushed him in that service. Like, don't push Jerry. What did I push him?

When you pushed him to the Palm Raider. When he didn't want to do anything. I'm like, don't. We anything i'm like don't i would never you would have to pay me to push jerry we've had some fights physical fights yeah have you had angry fights or play fights yeah we both what what give me some themes once we we were at his apartment here in west hollywood and we go to take the garbage out and I close the door and he says to me you fucking idiot I don't have the keys I said why the fuck do I know just your house why would I know you don't have the keys to your house so we had to call the locksmith and he chewed me out for that well you're fucking stupid I don't think I talked to him for like three weeks

I don't need this shit no fuck you dude you're an adult yeah and so he's done shit like that. I'm just like, I guess it's why he thinks we're very good friends. We're just like two little friends. He's done shit like he gets mad at me, and I give him the silo treatment when I get angry. Oh, is that your move? That's my move, too. Yeah. I just want to talk to you. How long?

Well, it was one day we had an argument about something, and we just moved here, and he said something. I was pissed, and I was eating a sandwich. You know, I made the sandwich myself. I don't cook. Right, so it's a big deal. Oh. It's a special occasion.

This was a spiced ham sandwich with sandwich spread on Wonder Bread, dude. Shit. With the spread. With the spread. And it's spiced ham. And it's spiced ham. What a sandwich. Go on.

He took the sandwich out of my hand and threw it in the trash. I thought I was going to fucking kill kill him but we did the silent treatment but why did he take it and throw it out something i wouldn't because i wouldn't talk to him i was giving him the silent treatment i just oh my that'll that's not gonna help throwing the sandwich on yeah um you give the silent treatment to when you get pissed at people? Well, there's a few reasons. I have a sharp tongue, so I'm trying to avoid it. I'm trying to avoid... I don't want to open it. You know what I mean?

Well, I just don't need you once I'm pissed at you. I just don't need you. I don't need to talk to you. Well, that's the thing about being a human being is we're interconnected and also I have to be prepared to go on if you die really yeah everyone my me and my girlfriend talk about all the time like yes i'm incredibly connected to you and i love you so much but if you die i have to keep living this is so true and and even so

with friendships it's like yeah we're friends but like not that you can't just do anything hey really makes you think i'm such a smart guy yes you are um george wallace ladies and gentlemen came to see me in atlanta and it was uh it was it was just i'm still touched that you came you don't know who you are do you no dude you touch a lot of people, and especially comedians. When you want to see a smart comedian that you wish you were like, the thought process,

if I could think like you, Neil, everybody would know me. Yeah. I mean, and I feel like if I was as lovable and as funny as you are. Right, everybody would know who you are. Yeah. Here we are, toiling in obscurity.

But I'm still the most successful person you've ever met. Let's make that perfectly clear. Go on. Tell me more about that. I don't know about you, but it's not how much money you make. It's how you enjoy your life while you're living. We've talked about that before. I think Anderson Cooper and you and I were talking one time about

is it better to be famous and or rich? And I just thought, you know, I have it better than both of them. I got enough money to do what I want to do, go where I want to go. Plus the jet. Free jet. People waving at my little ego. Bus drivers waving at me to satisfy my little ego. I can do anything, but i can go pee yeah no that is a that is a at a certain point i noticed with people jerry ellen

dave rock they can't go in the front door they have to enter through the garbage entrance right literally stinks of trash you're so good at your job enjoy the scent of garbage it's a it's like a great irony of life and you think you nobody knows you're there but the manager the uh hostess they know people say how do they get this on camera because they call the yeah but it is nice when you eat with jerry and the check comes. How'd you know about that? Because I've ate with Jerry before. Yeah, when you eat with Jerry, there's never a check. It's already taken care of before you get there.

And I like that, though. What do you think the tip is? Tip is good. Right, but is it 100%? Is it 200%? No, it could be 50%. You think it's a good, like if we all, me, you, and him go to eat and it's. $300.

Right. It would be $100, $150 easily. I got to think it's $300. I got to think it's 100% of whatever the bill is. The problem with him is people don't know how much money he has. But it's not whether you're, it's whether, it's everyone knowing how much money you have. Yeah.

They're going like, come on, man. Like everyone's kind of being like. They do that, don't they? So it could be 100% sometime. Yeah. Yeah. But I don't,

I think he has to decide ahead of time. I think it just has to be like a flat 100% tip. I'll ask him as soon as I call him, as soon as I get off the, out of here. Great. Great.

I'm not afraid of you. I know when we go to breakfast and when I buy dinner, sometimes I don't let him pay. You don't let him? No. Yeah. I can't be one of those guys

who go to dinner with him and he pays every time. Never going to happen. I'm still in like the it's only happened once type thing, so I'm still riding it. You know what I mean? If he wants to pay,

let him pay, right? You know what? He's been through. It must be fun for him to pay for people. With Uber Reserve, good things come to those who plan ahead. Family vacay? Reserve your ride as soon as you book your flights. To all the planners, now you can reserve your Uber ride up to 90 days in advance.

See Uber app for details. On August 9th, don't miss the Borderlands movie starring this summer's biggest cast. Everybody buckle up. With Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jack Black, Ariana Greenblatt, and Jamie Lee Curtis. Wow, you never see that. Borderlands. All right, I don't want to, but okay, so then you start doing stand-up. When do you start getting some traction?

Like pretty soon, right?'t want to, but okay, so then you start doing stand-up. When do you start getting some traction? Like pretty soon, right? 80, 81? No, when I got here and stopped working at Communist Roundabout, after three months of being here, ABC was looking for writers for the Red Fox Variety Show after San Francisco, and they said, we'd like for you to write, and I said, well, I've never done that before. I don't think I can do it.

And they approached me like the third time. And then at that time in 1976, I think it was $2,500 a week or something like that, $1,500 a week. And I said, maybe I could come up with a little something. Yeah. Yeah. Because I hadn't left my job as vice president of the outdoor advertising agency. So I was vice president.

Did you know that? I did know that. Yeah. Did that transfer out to here as well? I moved myself out here because I was vice president of the company. And I knew the New York agency said, we need representation out here. And I put people on the buses. Oh, so you literally transferred yourself? Yeah.

Great. And I put artists like Elton John and Donna Summer and everybody does. Casablanca was the label. I think one of the richest men in the world owned that at the time. And I drummed up $200,000 worth of business out here just on a two-week vacation. Outdoor. That's billboards. Yeah.

So I did both. I did billboard, I did outdoor, and I did buses. I put them on buses in New York City. But everything you said, the spectacles at Times Square, billboards, I was vice president of that. What was the name of the company? It was called Douglas Lee at the time. Douglas Lee invented the ball at Times Square. Oh, really?

Yeah. And he also created all of the steam that looked like smoke when the guy was just marbling. Oh, wow. Yeah. Did you meet him? Was it like a living guy? Yeah, I knew him. He's from Atlanta also.

Great. So he had an idea in Atlanta that I'm trying to change right now. Atlanta doesn't have a real landmark like Statue of Liberty, anything like that. So I want to make Atlanta the city of lights. It'd be amazing what you can do with lights uh lighting up the city illuminating the city kind of like shanghai yeah i mean it me it's helpful it looks like something it's like oh something's gonna happen yeah right it's because you're right in atlanta you're like what's the where you go it's like what have i heard as a person i'm like what have i heard in like hip-hop

songs like college park just shit like that. What'd you say? Bankhead. Did you say College Park? Yeah, I said College Park, but I know it's not exactly pronounced that way. You know what it's called? College Park. I know, but I'm not going to. I'll say it, College Park.

Ladies and gentlemen. College Park, Bubba Sparks. So how long do you stay with it? So you quit the advertising to write for Red Fox. I wanted to be a comedian since I was six years old. So I had to go to college and make some money. Some of the old guys from Vaudeville were saying how hungry they were and they didn't know where they were

staying. I'm going to have that. Hell no. So I'm going to go to school, make a little money, went to the University of Akron, got a degree in transportation. And in the back of your head are you going, and I'm going to be a comedian? No. In front of my head I'm going to be a comedian. I've always wanted to be a comedian since I was six. Watching Red Skelton,

Milton Berle, all those older guys, then the Richard Pryor. That's all I'm ever going to do. Well, of course, I started like everybody else. I would listen to their jokes and take them to school

the next day and have everybody laugh and you've been a happy guy. Never the class clown or anything like that. But having fun, enjoying life. Okay, so then you're out here.

You get the offer to write for Red Fox. And do you, is it like, screw it? Let me take the lead. No, it lasted only one year. Red Fox Variety Show. And then I did The Tonight Show. Funny thing about doing TV today. You did stand-up?

I did stand-up on The Tonight Show. George Wallace. Everybody's a freak in hollywood even the doctors are freaks in hollywood you ever go to doctor in hollywood he gives you a shot gives himself one too uh 1979 with johnny carson on a Thursday, Thanksgiving night. Oh, wow. Did you know that that would be good ratings? I don't know, but they put me on Thanksgiving night.

I know it's a tough night. Everybody would be at home, you know. Yeah. Thanksgiving night, Thursday night, Friday night. It's amazing how life works. Friday night, that next night, I was in front of 17,000 people opening for Natalie Cole. Was that scheduled? No.

How did that? That's how powerful the Tonight Show was back then. Right, so what happened on Friday? You get a call from William Morris saying, we need you to come over. What time during the day? Midday. So noon-ish, William Morris calls you. It had to be the next morning. Okay, all right, so 10 a.m., where's the show?

Champaign, Illinois. Outdoors. So you had to get on a flight to Champaign with the time difference. With the time difference. Maybe it was that same night. Everybody was backstage, you know, back in the day. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. And we did that, and I've been working ever since, too.

How much did you get to open for? Don't even bring that up. You're going to piss me off now how much you made yeah my my my manager at the time his name was kevin hunter uh-huh and i got fifteen hundred dollars a week working for natalie cole opening for natalie yeah but when you're young what is fifteen hundred dollars but even right now i bet some of the young kids will go for it it's a lot of money went up to canada had to register to go into Canada, found out I was getting paid $1,500 a night.

How long before you brought the hammer down? Before you took the hammer down? The next day after I found out after opening for Natalie for like three months

and I found out, dude, the contract says I'm making $1,500 a night and I'm just thinking, you've been taking all my money every night I was working for her and you just give me $1,500 a night. And I'm just thinking, you've been taking all my money every night I was working for her,

and you just give me $1,500 a week. This has got to stop now. Yeah. Well, it wasn't like that, but it's just like, dude, I know what you're doing. And that was back in the day when everybody knew everybody. Right. That was the end of him? Well, yeah.

But can you imagine somebody cheating you out of your money? Yeah. I mean, I can imagine. Yeah, it's infuriating. You ever been cheated out of your money? Yeah. I mean, I can imagine. Yeah. It's infuriating. You ever been cheated out of your money, like working clubs or anything? I didn't get,

uh, yeah. Really? Yeah. Well, that's the thing is where you like, do you know who you are? And you get so respected.

It's like, it didn't, when I started standup, I was mid thirties and I was like, Dave's 30s. Yeah. I didn't really start standing i started at 27 yeah i was i didn't start stand up till after chapelle show so i did a little bit but like i didn't start it till 2007 that's why i didn't know you earlier then right okay yeah so um but one when i started stand up people that you would think they're not going to screw him over, absolutely.

People will screw you over if they think they can get away with it. In my experience. Everybody. Almost. I think you have to be either like you have to have like ironclad ethics within yourself or you just have to have enough money that you don't feel like you need to rip people up but and i still think both those categories do it especially club owners yeah because they go well i'm losing money on the i got expenses like we don't have expenses this is your business dude i'm not in the club coming club yeah i didn't tell you to open yeah uh but they go well you've never worked this club before it's sold out who gives a shit

um well you didn't negotiate okay okay yeah i always negotiate before i go in but you still have to keep right but i didn't know at the time i didn't young you don't know yeah i didn't i didn't even know i i like didn't yeah it was just one of these things of like you know you should you could do the right thing here and they, you know, you could do the right thing here. And they just specifically didn't. You could do the right thing. Yeah. When I first started, I was doing so well on the radio with the Tom Jonah Morning Show and my show in Chicago, WGCI. I promoted my own concerts at Atlanta Civic Center, hired James Knight in Miami, all of these big rooms, Fox Theaters.

And I was making a lot of money. But my co-producer was charging me things like 25 cents per head for insurance and 16 police officers. I'm going, well, I don't see the police. They're outside. That's what he told me. They're outside. The next thing I know, he says, you're going to learn a thing. you're gonna learn that good george you can't see them they're very undercover but show business it

is show yeah yeah word show and then their business so and you always had a good attitude about it you always had perspective i it wouldn't surprise me you're an incredibly sunny guy yeah like just naturally sunny always been sunny every time i've witnessed you on television in person one of the sunniest people i've ever met it's easier to be nice than to be and um i just like being nice it's just so good to to help people and treat it does feel better it does and it really does it releases better chemicals than rage and vindictiveness and it's always good to give i love giving too like you talk about we were talking about jerry a few minutes ago i have to give i have to do my part yeah i have to do my part i

gotta give back i also think it's good in a relationship like that to just keep it like man you're still my roommate yeah same guy you know um all right but you have but he does have blocks so let me just quickly so then you start doing great and then you're just a touring comedian for no when i left natalie cole i went directly to george benson i left george benson i went directly making three thousand five hundred dollars a week a week a week and then i left george b I left George Benson and went to Donna Summer. Would you consider that an incredibly difficult situation to do comedy? No.

I was having fun. What are you talking about? Well, because it's, you know, it's if Jerry has said, like, nobody wanted a comedian. He actually said nobody wanted a Jew. And I was like, a Jew? Like, do you identify yourself hello it's me a jew so so i'm curious as to you as you were talking i was like because you would do like you do a hyatt

you'll do it you'll just you're wherever you are you'll do a show there's not an especially bad room or especially good room sir that's why i know how to work. I just wanted to be a comedian. When I started, I never wanted television. I never, at the time, no movies. I just, my goal was to work in Las Vegas. We used to sit around and talk. There were some older guys, Buddy Hackett. Hackett, yeah.

And all those guys, they're making, Don Rickles. Yeah. They're making $300,000 a year. Say no more. Right there. That's all I wanted to do. Yeah, sometimes I'll read old biographies and i'll see like what carlin was making in vegas i'm like that's so much money at that time are you kidding but but it's like if you did the extrapolation of what it's worth now you're like he's making a lot like it would take

him like two weeks to be able to buy a house back then exactly well what they were getting a hundred two hundred thousand dollars sometime back in the in the 70s and 80s and they could buy a house in las vegas for a hundred two hundred thousand dollars house yeah like the nicest look at wayne newton we bought a ranch yeah old ranch and uh tons of sex slaves so what just made that up? Okay. Uh, uh, yeah, no, I, I agree.

And I'm similar to you. And I think I'm a little more ambitious in terms of like, I want more status, but I think you are healthy. And you were like, this is a treat just to have, just to do this and not have to go to an office and think of advertising schemes. Neil.

Neil. Sir? Going on stage every night does my sex and my drugs. There's nothing better than what I do. I just walk up. I'm ready to go to work right now. It's amazing what I do, what we do. To go up there and people come to see you.

I don't know these people. And they pay to come see me just talk shit. Matter of fact, my podcast is going to be called Talking Shit with George Wallace. Great. Talking Shit with George. But I love what I do and I've always made money. My ultimate goal, I went on, I worked for five years.

No, more than five years after I left to Diana Ross and Tom Jones. And then I started making like $10,000 a week. And that was a lot of money. And I did that for 15 years. learning to be a comedian in the round, 70,000 people, 20,000 people. I could do it all. Caesars Palace, all of the casinos.

Back in the day, you had a dinner show. Boy, you want to talk about a tough comedian doing a dinner show? Amazing. Because you're competing with forks and food. Tingling. When I started working with Tom Jones, they said, I'm going to tell you something. At Caesars Palace, the first 200 seats down front are going to be empty because that's the ladies.

They come in to see Tom Jones. Okay. And they would specifically put them in the front? Yeah. But they wouldn't sit down until Tom came out. That's what they told me. But guess what? They were there for me every night.

God damn right. Sex and drugs. It was really nice. Sex and drugs. It was really nice. Sex and drugs. And then after that, I learned how to become a comedian. I said, you know what? I'm going to do my own show now.

After I did radio, I got experience in radio. A lot of people got to know me from national radio with Tom Joyner. Tom Joyner was what years? Tom Joyner was, ooh, 93 through 2005. Great. And then I did Chicago i did atlanta radio i did the dc radio

radio one and none of that's work either that's all worked good but i'm saying that's that's you don't consider that a real job either no i'm for the radio yeah i'm just talking trash in the morning i know and it's the greatest job in the world. I know. We're so lucky you almost have to pretend we're not. You know what I mean? You don't. I say lucky. I say blessed. Yeah.

Whatever you want to call it. Fortunate. Whatever. I'm so fortunate. You're so fortunate. It's incomprehensible. What if it's incomprehensible? You ever get up and drive into the airport at 8 o'clock in the morning and go, these people do this every day?

Yeah. This is fucking crazy. Yeah. And we don't have to punch a clock? No. And how long do you work, Mr. Brennan? 30 minutes a night, 40 minutes a night? Tonight I'll work 30.

An hour at the most. Tomorrow night, I have 15. I have to do an hour and a half sometimes. But I used to tell some of the young kids, tell your parents you're making $75 a night in 30 minutes. Yeah. And see what your dad say to you. Yeah. Then I went to Las Vegas.

I went to Las Vegas for 30 days just to see what I could do. Next thing you know, it was 60 days. And then 90 days. Were you booked? Were you like, did you have shows there? I did book myself in for 30 days. What year? 2004.

Okay. Because I was on radio. Before The Breakfast Club, I was doing radio in New York City, same studio. And then I came to Las Vegas for 30 days. And it was all a struggle because I'm working for me. I'm not working for the hotels. Yeah. I'm booking the room.

Yeah, you did your own show. Yeah, I'm for Wallet. Yeah. And so people have to know you. And it doesn't come with a name in all respects. It doesn't matter who you are. There are other tricks and other niches you've got to do. So in order to 750 seats every night, what do I have to do?

I have to go out and meet, shake hands, and kiss babies. I've got to go to every hotel concierge and let them know, hey, come down and see the show. I'm in town. For the first year, I took no money. I took no money and put it back into the streets. Back into the streets how? Because I came from the advertising world. I knew how to put my business in the streets on the trucks.

I'm the first one in Las Vegas to take the advertising trucks, buy trucks back to back to back to back. And people said, boy, you're so stupid. Why would you put the trucks back to back to back to back. And people said, boy, you're so stupid. Why would you put the trucks back to back to back to back? I said, why are you asking me? It did draw your attention. Now, if you see it go to Las Vegas, everybody's doing what I did. I knew about the billboards. I went to a company.

It's an eyesore, George. It's an eyesore? You ruined Las Vegas. I don't give a shit. I had people come in. I paid for eyesores, okay? People come to see me. I'd buy four boards and I'd have them give me six.

And they said, we can't do that. I said, the boards are open. Just follow me. When I do, people will follow me. So I went there and after about a year and a half, I started taking money in. Made a lot of money. Yeah. Made a lot of money and doing what I wanted to do.

My ultimate goal was to work Las Vegas. And I had to stop one night and go, shit, I've reached my goal. Now what? I turned 30 days, 60 days, 90 days into 15 years. When did you realize you reached the goal? I just walked out one night and just realized that, I think I reached my goal when I had an accident at the Bellagio and broke my leg at the, my Achilles tendon at the Bellagio and we had a lawsuit and that wasn't it but just knowing you

had money and and knowing you enjoy what you do every night I used to love to go to work every night and get dressed like the biggest used to be crowd and everybody would come in to see me from any comedian would come to my show oh you're working oh you're working yeah from oh you're throwing people up putting people on oh hell yeah you come to my show you're working why should i do all the work and you give me another comedian yeah alonzo boden seinfeld everybody you could think of yep aretha franklin tom jones you're working great and then i brought in people that just a different type show in Las Vegas. My ultimate goal, my ultimate gift, not goal, was I brought in Sly and the Family Stone.

How? What'd you say? How? How? How? How did you get Sly and the Family Stone to do anything? Say that again. They called me a magician. And the odds were 41 to 1 that Sly would not show up.

I knew his sister. This was 26 years, first time in 26 years he had been on the stage. Last time you saw him, it was at the Emmys when he walked off stage, remember that night? I think Dave brought him up. Yeah. At the Grammys, yeah. He showed up. I knew he was there, but he did show up 20 minutes late. People walking out. This is some bullshit. I knew he wasn't going to show up. I knew he was there, but he did show up 20 minutes late.

People walking out. This is some bullshit. I knew he wasn't going to show up. Did you advertise Sly Stone is coming? I did. I put him on the board. And it was in your room in Vegas? Yeah.

Was it George Wallace and Sly Stone or Sly Stone? Look it up right now. George Wallace and Sly and the Family Stone. And I brought him out. And so normally I headline. But not this time. No way. I ain't stupid.

So I opened for him for 30 minutes. And then he wasn't ready. And there were people walking out. And I was getting a little concerned myself because I knew he was upstairs. Speaking of sex and drugs, keep going. And then he came out and blew the room away. Did he really? People were crying. I was crying. He started out the room away. Did he really? People were crying.

I was crying. He started out. How much time did he do? He did like only 30 minutes. We walked off stage. I said, that's fine. He walked off stage and I went on. I was sliding the family stone.

He walked off stage, went through the kitchen. Next thing I know, he's coming from the top of the stairs back into the room. This place went crazy. And did more time. And did more time. time just sliding and he started singing those songs you know are you old enough for his era i'm not old enough for his era but i'm uh informed enough to know what he did when he started singing if you want me to stay yeah and all of those hits and he can he can do it? His voice still works? He's a little older, but his family was with him. They were crying.

And sometimes I think he forgot a few of the words and people walk over to him. But he was so good. It just freaked everybody out to see him do it. His family was saying, Daddy, I told you you could do it. You did it, Daddy. And all of the original, everybody was there except Larry Graham. The whole original group came to Las Vegas on my show to work for me. And I thought it was so great.

Did you charge more money than normal? Hell yeah. Oh, great. Yeah. $100? Oh, yeah. I think I charged $250 or something like that. Great.

Maybe $500 down front. Okay. Yeah. Great. And it was packed and something like that. Maybe $500 down front. Okay. Yeah. Great. And it was packed and sold out, and I'll never forget it. So then you just, you've realized your goal. And then, I mean, you seem so optimistic that at one, so you were, you became this optimistic. You're one level optimistic, and then you took it up a level.

Took it up a level, and then I got up there and up there and i said okay i'm gonna tell you the truth what happened my best friend for 47 years walked on stage one night and says do that to leave do that to leave jerry said we're done yeah during after a show on stage before you or after you uh during my set he come up and they said we've been here long enough and uh and that's when we decided to because he stopped his show at nine years. Yeah. So he taught me to do that, to leave right now. And that's what we did.

How many years was it? I was there 15 years. Great. Yeah. It was a real residency, too. People are going to Las Vegas right now and saying they have a residency. And they're only there every other weekend. You ain't buying trucks.

Right. That's a resident. Adele, call me when you buy five trucks. Right. No, call me when you're both there, when you stay there oh there you go these people are coming now they have like a layover like a flight attendant yeah they're there for two nights yeah they don't stay come back yeah but i was there every night and i used to love doing it i would get off stage i would work monday i work tuesday through saturday saturday night i'd be on the late flight to new york city

so i'm in new york City all day Sunday, all day Monday. You had an apartment. You still have an apartment in New York. I have the greatest apartment in New York City. On Central Park West? Central Park West, yes. Central Park is my office. When did you buy it? 1998.

So it cost some money. It cost a lot of money then. And now it's worth triple. Maybe four times. Yeah. Maybe five times. We ain't going to do nothing with the money. We're just going to live there.

But yeah, I think I should sell it, Neil. Maintenance is so high. Yeah. And I'm only there 30 days out of the year, maybe 40 at the most. You Airbnb it, though, right? Huh? You Airbnb it? I'm kidding.

It's too nice for Airbnb. No, they don't allow that in my house. Yeah. But I live in New York, and I live in Atlanta, and I live here, and I live in Las Vegas. Great. So when you split that time out, and then I live the other 250 days of the year in a hotel.

Like you said before, I live at United and Delta. Yeah. I love working. Yeah, and you're good at it. You know how to do it. And I'm having fun. I was hanging out with Dave at the Comedy Cellar. Great.

And the next night I'm at Madison Square Garden with Dave. Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the first time I ever got high, Neil. Neil. How do you like it? I never got high in Neil. Neil. How do you like it? I never got high in my life before. Backstage, I don't smoke.

I don't do no drugs, right? I do nothing. But it was so strong backstage, man. You know, Darnell and everybody was back there. It was so strong. And people said, they were smoking shit. And they said, did you get the mungies? I said, hell no.

I don't know what that is. So when I got home, I did have leftover Chinese food. I had a bag of Doritos. I had a pint of Hong Kong ice cream. I said, I guess I did get the mungies, yeah. But it was really, I can't say it was cool. Yeah, it's not, I mean, it's

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You're getting ready to get serious now. Yeah, no, no. We're going to dim the lights. You got real, you have some issues. This is great. Borderline hoarding. I like when people put borderline on there. Because like, no, I'm not a hoarder. Don't get me wrong. I have a shitload of shoes. What do you got shoes clothes stuff

am i i buy a lot of shit right but i i've never thrown away anything i've got shit in my closet that's still new but i keep buying shit it's stupid you raise an interesting question though are you a hoarder if you can keep, if you have enough closet space? Are you just Imelda Marcos? Neil, you are really making me feel better now. If you have enough closet space. If no one knows. I'm not a hoarder like shit, like I'm sleeping on dead cats and shit like that.

No, you ain't one of those hoarders. No, I'm not one of those. So that's why I mean borderline. You don't need that stuff. The fact of the matter is, they've said before, if you haven't worn it in a year, get rid of it.

Mm-hmm. But look at these shoes I'm wearing right now. Mm-hmm. Okay. Nice blue suede shoes, dark blue. At least one year old. And you just wore them or you wear them regularly?

Did they make it into the rotation? One year I've been wearing these shoes. Okay, great. But I wear them every day. Great. That's not great. What about the other shit, George? That's not great.

You've got new shoes. You should wear them. I don't know how many new shoes you bought in the last year. How many new pairs? In the last year? Yeah. Not many. Only maybe 15 pairs.

Yeah, that's not insane. Yeah, but I should wear them. Listen, I bought 15 pairs this year, and I bought 15 pairs last year, and now you should see my closet. And all my shoes, I got a picture in front of them so I can see what shoes are there. So I'm a hoarder. My desk in my office, I got all of my legal yellow pads that I write on.

I have all of those, and I'm a borderline hoarder. I just got a lot of junk. Does it prevent you from inviting people over? Or do you keep it in a place where people will not see it? Oh, I can clean up. I can have it cleaned up in a minute. A lot of people don't come to my house. I don't have a lot of visitors.

And I don't visit a lot of people. As much hoarding as you're doing, how could you? They would never see it, as you said before. So it really is like you can hide it you can seal it easily okay easily is that a matter of space that's a matter of space i got tons of space i got my house is built for space closets everywhere everything is neat inside the closets but it's just a lot of it again if you've got the space are you a hoarder and it's like like Charles Barkley said he lost, I don't know, $100 million or something gambling.

How many times do you think you've lost $1 million in a single day? At least 10 to 15, somewhere in there. Yeah. And he's like, but I got the money. It's like Dave said, too, about the $50 million. Once you got $10 million. He said that to me. I didn't know he said it on his head.

He said, he told me, him and Will Smith have both said, after a certain amount of money, the only thing there is are private jets. You can only eat three times a day. Exactly. You can only buy seven pairs of pants a day. Right. There are limits on, it's kind of pointless after a while. Most people think I should have a private jet, but I like people. I like to go to the airport.

Who needs a private jet when you have 15 pairs of shoes that you've never worn? Something wrong with you, right? You can walk a mile in your shoes. I tell you what, I don't, some of the extravagant things, the cruise, the ships, the yachts. Yeah, the yachts, yeah. I can't do that. But I do like traveling. I love to get on that plane

and Delta and get in that bed up there and fall asleep. The longer the flight, the better. I'm with you. I just come in from Sydney. Today or like recently? Well, yeah. I went down for the The Melbourne Comedy Festival, right? No, not that and also the

tennis, the open. Oh, wow. Australian Open. Great. And I like just going to my favorite place in Shanghai. I teach young people. Do you travel now? I do.

I have not. I've been to Shanghai. I've been to Hong Kong, Singapore, Bangkok, Tokyo. You got into the Pacific. You got into the Pacific. I did Europe in my 30s and then my 40s right right right right you know what i mean and uh i prefer asia because it feels further away you're my friend yeah it feels further away for asia and i tell people about shanghai three times

larger than new york city three times more modern than new york city it's just amazing same with tokyo stats why i don't like toky How come? I don't think they're like... You know when they say in Asia, they go, the Nigerians. That's their code word for black. Really? But they go, the Nigerians. We went to a restaurant in Tokyo,

and the chef just... And somebody said, they don't speak English. I said, that's bullshit. I know that signal you know yeah yeah and i felt bad about it too i said well fuck japan i don't like japan and they're better in shanghai oh my shanghai people are so nice and there's so much modern shit in shanghai and just the hotels i love a nice hotel you don't get better hotels than in shanghai i agree uh

the my issue with it's the government and the scanning the faces and all the cameras gets me a little bit like. Does it? Yeah, and it's like, what do you guys got? Why are you doing this? But I also feel like I've said China is like a parent from the 60s. They've just got a lot of kids. They got to keep the internet throttle.

They changed the law. They stopped that. What did they stop? They was having so many kids that they stopped. Oh, yeah. Yes. And then they fucked up because now they can't get enough kids in. You didn't make it to Macau?

No. Do you do shows there? I have done shows there. I love doing shows there. I'm so stupid. I'm on stage one night and I was talking about Chinese food in New York. I said, do they deliver Chinese food here like they do in New York? And the people start laughing.

You're in Hong Kong. It's all close. Yeah. Oh, shit. I fucked up. Yeah, I love doing shows over there. All right. So you're a borderline hoarder, but it seems to have no –

you don't care about the effect it has on your bottom line line you got the money right man's got five trucks on the strip uh and you got the space so maybe it's just a at your tax bracket maybe it's a quirk you know what i mean no it's a but it's all it's all five houses, just stuff everywhere. I need to get rid of stuff. Matter of fact, you have, today, I'm going to go home and throw away something. You know, I need to just throw away one thing a day. That's not going to cover it. You don't got that kind of time, dog.

This is true. I don't know how to tell you this. My problem is I'm getting older, there's money in the bank, and I don't want to die with money in the bank. Oh, interesting. I actually want to die like Redd Foxx and Sammy Davis Jr. Redd Foxx died on stage on a sitcom doing one of his, whatever, a later pilot or whatever.

Eddie Murphy was the producer, I believe. Right. And how did Sammy die? Broke. I mean, they both died owing the government money. Eddie Murphy was the producer I believe and how did Sammy die? broke I mean they both died owing the government money and I think that's pretty cool I figured if you die what are you laughing at?

that is pretty cool I know I think differently but if you die owing the government $800,000, $900,000 you did pretty good and people said people came and took his shit they're dead, what the hell do I care yeah, somebody's got to take it take it yeah right then i'm not a whore anymore yeah so problem solved two birds with one stone right uh the the problem is your heirs have

to pay that's which is the thing i didn't realize if you die how they're gonna pay yeah you're but then they get sad saddled with the debt. That's how it's been explained to me. So just make sure. I'm not sure about that. Keep a couple hundred on you, you know what I mean, to cover expenses. You want a big funeral? What are you thinking?

I'm thinking, I want a funeral, but it shouldn't be at a church. It should be like John Witherspoon's funeral. I don't know about John Witherspoon's funeral. Oh, my God. He was buried at Forest Lawn. He was buried, and they had it in one of those halls, and all the comedians were there, and the rappers. Oh, my God, it was good.

There was some cussing and all just really good. I went to one funeral at Forest Lawn, Rick James. You went to Rick James' funeral? Sure did. Oh, my God. Was it good? It was a damn good funeral oh was he there they just had the picture that i want my picture to be there not

the body i gotta yeah what do you feel about open caskets by the way i don't do bodies my my parent my mom is the last person i saw i don't if i go to your funeral i'm not gonna know why i want to remember you from this table yeah i agree i don't need to see nobody it also just seems like no i'll take your word for it hey like i don't need to it's a the joke doesn't work but it's like your friend who goes to the bathroom with the door open like you know what go ahead go and close the door matter of fact you just convinced me that maybe i don't need a funeral i i just you just need to remember me as the last time you saw me. Yeah. Just everyone take a minute.

The memorial also. At 10 a.m. on whatever day, remember George. Just watch Cliff. I don't know whether I have to do that. You don't want to give him that much work? I just think they should remember me as a good person. And boy, last time I saw him, he was laughing. Last time I saw him, he was making people laugh. Yeah.

Great. Rick James funeral, Stevie Wonder played, and Louis Farrakhan spoke. Really? was laughing last time i saw him he was making people laugh yeah great uh rick james funeral stevie wonder played and lewis farrakhan spoke really so that's been something huh yeah it's pretty great he can deliver a good speech even though some farrakhan's fantastic one of the greatest public speakers in uh in world history stevie wonder well i go to church i hear him sing every sunday oh really we go we go to church together which church west angeles church of garden christ where is it? Right here on Crenshaw in Jefferson.

How many songs do you do? Just one song, but he'll sing a long one, you know. But we have fun. He's fun in the church, you know. See, he's fun overall. We tell jokes. He wanted to come to Las Vegas and go on stage, but he's a lot of fun in the church and just comes in late every Sunday.

That's the problem. Couldn't find it. Couldn't find the church. I'm a smart comedian, guys. Get used to it. All right, so, all right, shopaholic. Related. I have a disease.

I just told you, when I'm at home at night, it's getting, I want to use, I want to write a joke about using the word worse worse sir yeah it's and that's that's way more worse yeah every night i'm gonna buy something online tonight it's getting worse yeah you got better yeah it's like a new low yeah yeah and i just love buying shit the problem is i'm single and I got the money. That's what I'm saying. You got kids? Yeah. But they're very adult. I'm in the Bernie Mac situation.

So now I got to start doing better. I took the kids. I wanted to do something great for them. I had, I wanted to buy my own, like a vehicle, a car. And I thought about it. My friend, I was talking. I took them all to Europe. They'd never been out of the country in their life. So I did something very surprising. So I said, get your passports because you never know when I'm going to call.

I finally called them, all the kids, meet me at Kennedy. And when they got to Kennedy from Atlanta and Ohio and New York, we went upstairs into the lounge, what do you call it, the special lounge. I mean the real special one where the personal chef comes out, not just the Sky Club. They have a special club there for rich people. And the chef came out and made our dinner before we got on the flight. And I'm teaching my kids.

And they got there. As we're walking out, I had the agents ask them where they were going. They said, we don't know. Because I told them we were going to go on a cruise and bring different clothing. And he said, well, congratulations. You're going to London Heathrow. And they broke down and started crying because they thought they were just going on a ship. How old were they?

35 and 40. We did this just before COVID. With their kids? Yeah. No, just my kids, 35, 40. Oh, they weren't allowed to, could they bring their spouses? Yeah, one of them brought their spouses. And we went straight to London and they cried and they'd never made a left on a big airplane.

That's what I'm teaching the young kids now. When you get on an airplane, try to make a left instead of a right. You're doing good. So you know what I'm talking about. You make a left. You're doing pretty good. And so when they got up there, they'd go like, oh, my God. I didn't know they had pajamas on an airplane.

And my other daughter said, I didn't know they had beds on airplanes. So that was the first exciting thing for them. And then here come the hot fudge Sundays. Sundays and Mondays, everything. You get the wines and whiskeys and everything you could think of. I took them to the best hotel in Lushton Square. I heard you guys started fighting people from Coach. Started throwing punches.

Just throwing food back at them. Shit got wily. But, yeah, so I took them in every day. If something, I want to do something different for them. Every day, every three days, I wake them up. Have your shit ready to go tomorrow morning. The next morning, I told them we're going to go to uh munich germany they were like wow and when we got to the train station they says that says parish france it doesn't say surprise motherfuckers art do you wish you'd done it sooner

yes because people don't travel enough i know they've never been anywhere yeah and next day next three days have your shit ready. Barcelona, Spain. So they cried every day. And we just, I showed them where I used to live in Barcelona. When did you live in Barcelona? Back in the 70s when I was crazy. I wanted to say more.

Yeah, I was crazy back in the 70s. Before the disco era. The disco era. You were like, fuck it, I got to get to Barcelona. This New York is not disco enough. New York was just something. Where is Giorgio Moroder? The Ibiza sound.

You ever heard of the Ibiza sound? Ibiza? I mean, I know it now. But see, back in the 70s, you didn't know it. I did. I'm 20 years older than you. So we went there, and we would go there. That's where the freaks would go.

In Ibiza. I always wanted to be a wannabe freak. Yeah, the new Ibiza. But you didn't do drugs. Nope, never did drugs. It's a big part of Ibiza, from what I understand. Yeah, well, when I was there, it was. Well, it was, but it was like the clubs.

I loved the clubs. The Ibiza sound, the music was great. The clubs, 5,000 people swimming pool in the middle of the building. Freaky? People take clothes off naked in the pool back in the day. And it was enjoyed? It wasn't frowned upon? It was just part of in the day. And it was enjoyed. It wasn't frowned upon. It was part of the scene.

No, it was everybody going. You walk into the club. It was like some even guys would come up and dance with you. And it was just all about love. That's what it was all about. And you just learn to dance and have fun. And so it was crazy. Then you go to the New York.

How long did you stay for? Dude, I went over there six times a year. Fantastic. I would leave on Thursday. My office in. Fantastic. I would leave on Thursday. My office in New York said I'd leave on Thursday. You're in advertising, and you're going to Ibiza every six weeks. Yeah. Just went over on Thursday night, leave Thursday night, get there Friday,

have fun all day Friday, all day Saturday, and Sunday, and then you sleep on the plane coming back. Monday morning, be in the office around 10 o'clock. Fantastic. Yeah. Because I was vice president of sales. You know, when you make a lot of money in sales, they don't care what you do as long as you got a bottom line. Yeah, just get the money.

Yeah. Yeah. Did it feel like a secret life or something or like a side life? Yeah, because people weren't into this stuff at the time. Even traveling, people weren't really traveling that much. Nobody was there. You know I was the only black one up there. Yeah.

at the time. Even traveling, people weren't really traveling that much. You know I was the only black one up there. So it was like really coming out of New York and a lot of people didn't like disco when it was happening. But it was twice, whatever Studio 54 was, it was elevated 10 times in Spain. Damn.

The good food, the good people. You would meet men. You went to Biza to do things you couldn't do anywhere else. I could be sitting there alone. Here comes a blonde that sits next to me. She's from Cape Town, South Africa. So she never had this before. So that's why people would go there.

And then people would go in September because they call that the elite season when the kids get out, the college kids get out, and the rich people come in. So it was a lot of fun. Going to the nude beaches, that's what I loved. And I never went nude because I was always afraid, you know, people would laugh at me because I'm not, you know, well endowed. But I would love to see people. Yeah, I'd love to.

You'd love to see other people. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I have nothing to show. And you went naked? It's like a BYO. It's like a potluck, but i don't know i have nothing to show and you went naked it's like it's like a it's like a it's like a byo it's like it's like a potluck but you don't bring that but i'm a big black guy i'm supposed to be packing you really i mean i still don't believe it um well fuck you there oh this is a good one so just so if you got i'm forgiving your shopaholics and I'm forgiving your hoarding. If you got it, I can't, if I believe any, unless there's a tax being paid by someone,

whether it's you, your loved ones, then you're good. What's the point of having money if you can't spend it? Yeah. With the man work, you know. You're single, you got lots of money. So you know what i'm talking about right yeah are you junkie i don't like talking about it junkie no am i a junk i know i look like it uh no i don't really have many vices no no although i wish i had been like uh i wish i i

wish there was a version of going to ibiza no one ever offers me cocaine. Like, no. No? Nobody. You bullshit. I know. I swear to you. The people you work with, Neil. I'm saying. No one ever offers me drugs.

What's wrong with you? I look like a narc. Bullshit, Neil. You work with all of these people and all these drugs. You work with Dave and all these people. Nobody come up and offer you shit. I mean weed, but I don't like weed. Oh, my God.

I've been offered everything under the book. Everything. and i don't even know what it is yeah but i know nope not for me i mean i've i've sought some of it out i bought some of it and done and ate eating it and it was delicious i want to do the gummies though the gummies i want to do the gummies that's fun for you right you like candy i never did it i just want to try it well man it's there's still time um hypochondriac that sounds hard to tell dude don't start talking about that don't do that you don't you don't even every day is it every day stop it okay you stop it why don't you stop thinking it's just i don't know whatever you got i got i feel that just doesn't matter what it is if you got it i think that's what's wrong with me oh whatever it's like whatever you've heard it's like rumors but the last thing you heard you like

i believe that no it's like if you got it i think that's what i got how long forever do you ever go i guess guess I don't have cancer? Or do you go like, no, it's still, they just haven't found it? They think I'm crazy. Seinfeld will tell you they think I'm crazy. I go to doctors all the time. How often? I go to the doctor at least six times a year.

How about you? Not like that, but I do get my blood tested for levels. See, the blood testing is nothing. I have to go to the proctologist. I got to go to the gastroenterologist to get the colonoscopy. I got to get the, well, you only do that once every three to five years. I go to the ENT, what do you call it with the nose or whatever that is, otolaryngologist.

I went to a new doctor called iridologist. Have you ever heard of that? No. Iridologist, I ever heard of that no Iridologist they look through your eyes with a beam of light and they can tell you what's wrong with your body and what you're going to be what you're prone to in a case a guy look through your eye and

he can tell what's wrong with your body I'm just going to have arthritis and sure enough I'm starting to feel do you ever think I shouldn't have hit it so hard in Ibiza do you still feel like man I might have picked something up in ibiza that they still haven't caught i'm so glad my friend i was in studio 54 when age started all that stuff and because they didn't know where it came from you from cups and shit like that i'm i'm proud to be alive today but did you did what was it like I'm not sharing a drink, I'm not sharing a cigarette?

Oh, I ain't touching nothing. It was kind of like just COVID. I was at my house for two and a half years. Didn't go out. Didn't let anybody in. My daughter would come visit me, and she'd be in the parking lot across the street waving at me. And I said, keep moving. Social distance.

As close as your ass is going to get. I was really in. I never got it. I stayed inside. I was scared of everything i was keep purchasing stuff though you kept the packages kept coming though right the pack packages don't stop every day every day you don't even know what's in them do you george you're i know i know i know what it is to me up too much i don't even got it back there are times boxes show up and i'm like i don't have the faintest know what it is to shop too much. I don't even got it back. But there are times boxes show up and I'm like,

I don't have the faintest idea what this is. When I get home, I have no idea what's in those boxes. And then I'll say, the fuck I ordered this for? They got a new thing called, is it Timu? It looks like real shit, but when it gets to your house, it doesn't even come in a real box. You go, this is the cheapest piece of shit ever, but I don't send it back. No, of shit ever but i don't send it back no how could you i don't send it back you don't you

don't you don't want that money back um never seen anything no movies no tv never seen star wars or seinfeld respect respect don't say that don't no no i'm saying it's there's something funny about having never seen things it's so much funnier than having seen it i said to jerry you know who wouldn't ever have seen an episode of seinfeld seinfeld that's true right he wasn't seinfeld he would never have watched seinfeld let me tell you why i didn't get a chance to watch seinfeld get a chance i was working welleld. You didn't get a chance. I was working. Well, you can't find it. Keep going. I was working. Yes. Every night at 8 o'clock,

I'm working. That's for the last 40 years. I'm working. So I don't have time to watch the movies. I do have time. I love going to gospel concerts. I'm a church person. I love doing that.

I have my fun different ways. But watching TV, I have no idea who Harry Potter is. I have no idea Star Wars, any of those, Galactica, whatever you call it. I don't know nothing about movies. Fantastic. How do you pronounce the word? Galactica? Yep.

That's all you need to know. No. I watch an old movie you know like John Wayne who are your people no not people like that old movies like the boy the guy that killed

and ate the people up in Hannibal Lecter Sons of the Lambs I saw that yeah I like shit like that of course the color the color purple

is my favorite movie I saw a few movies Django is that what you said or Django oh hell yeah Django oh yeah Django? Is that what you said, or Django? Oh, hell yeah, Django. Oh, yeah, Django. I watch movies like that.

And I'm pissed. And Shawshank Redemption. I love Shawshank. Because I'm pissed. I don't like Morgan Freeman because of that movie. He was so good. I haven't liked Morgan Freeman in 40 years, until about a few years ago.

Because every role I went out and played started with Glory. You read for it? Yeah, he got it. He got it. Yeah. And then it moved into Lean on Me. Yeah. I could have played that role.

Sure. Then he had Shawshank Redemption. And I could do his voice. I could have a great voice. Sure. You know, and then Driving Miss Daisy really pissed me off because I'm from Atlanta. And I know way more about Atlanta than his ass does. But he's a good guy.

I finally met him and did a movie with him. What movie did you do? It was called Just Getting Started with he and Tom Lee Jones. Las Vegas. Oh, my God. Yeah. We shot it in New Mexico, and they told him why I didn't like him. And the other thing, and plus you dress like Shaft.

So, right? Yeah. thing that and plus you dress like shaft so yeah right yeah uh like shaft's kind-hearted uncle and i got i got a problem the first thing i ever said to morgan freeman was we were shooting a movie and they were shooting over his shoulders to toward us talking to him and he said wait a minute i'm a star i don't have to stand here at this time. I got to stand there and I don't have to do it. And the first thing I ever said to Morgan Freeman and with a room full of people, Morgan Freeman, sit down and shut the fuck up. And half the room went crazy.

The other half was scared as shit. But it was so funny. He even laughed. He hit the table with that bad hand, you know, with the glove. And we were friends from day one. And I love him. He's a great man. Fantastic.

I met him once. Every day. All right, great. So never seen anything, but he stayed busy. He's traveling. He's on the plane. He's going to Australia. He's going to Bithi.

He's going to Munich. He's taking the kids. Well, now it's Asia, like you said before. Yeah. When I left Las Vegas, I donated my time to the armed services. I went to every military base in the Pacific.

Wow. How many is that? About 30. Great. And you wouldn't believe, they're all cities. Yeah, they have Subway, they have their own restaurants, they got KFCs. The number one Chili's in the world is on the military base yeah and and that's the the thing i'll say about your act it's your act is very portable

meaning jokes are short they're like you don't have to have a political opinion you don't have to really know you don't have to follow the news you don't have to you don't have to know what star wars is because you don't uh you don't have to know galactica you don't have to know what Star Wars is because you don't. You don't have to know Galactica. You don't have to know what you just have to know, like general knowledge. Just living. Yeah. And it's the longest jokes about 25 seconds. Yeah. No, I'm doing better now.

I've got stories now. I've got stories now. You're healed. Yeah. You're telling longer stories. Yeah. And that's what I like about you guys. I wish I could do.

But I'm from another generation, you know? Yeah. But now I do have longer stories and longer bits. Great. And I'm. We're all praying for you. But I tell you what, the you know? Yeah. But now I do have longer stories and longer bits. Great. And I'm... We're all praying for you. But I tell you what, the young people are coming on board and they're bringing their parents to my show. They've never seen their parents laugh.

And that's what's good about it, to see the young hip hoppers and gangbangers coming to my show with their parents. Yeah, you're a genuinely hilarious person. All right. Ageism, fear calls. What does that mean the ageism thing is that i'm getting to the i'm getting to the uh i'm at the point where now sometimes they don't call you as much right and you just think that uh whoa uh and it happens to everybody not just me everybody i mean johnny carlson didn't just walk off to tonight's show jay leno didn't just walk off to tonight's show. Jay Leno didn't just walk off to tonight's show.

Yeah. When you get a certain age, they want you out of there. Yeah. They want you gone. And when you were younger, did you, I feel like I know the answer, but did you care about older people in show business? Well, I loved everybody. Like I said, the first person I loved, I was a kid,

and I loved Red Skelton and red fox and all of my comedians at the time were old can i ask you a red fox question real quick yes sir yes b uh did you is the story about him firing the the writers and bringing black writers on is Is that a true story? I don't know for sure, but I think it is, the way he operates, yes. Would you mind telling the story that we've all heard in show business? Well, we know that they did not want Aunt Esther. NBC did not want Aunt Esther.

And he demanded that Aunt Esther be on that show. And that's what she turned out to be. Yeah. And I know he did a lot of drugs. Yeah. And once we wrote the show and we taped it, and a lot of days he showed up so late because he was high and out of it.

But was he one of those guys that could crush it regardless? Yes, that's what he did. Yeah. And that's what's cool. I like that too. I like that. Well, that's the hoarding if you got the space. He hoarded cocaine. Man, are you brillianting if you got the space he hoarded cocaine man are you

brilliant but he had the space kind of i mean like you can do it and no there are no victims per se you could say like you're victimizing your aunts your children and grandchildren but maybe not maybe not maybe they don't maybe it's better to not leave people money. No one ever said, I was left $10 million, then I invented something. You know there's always a problem when you do leave people money, especially family. Oh, you're going to tear your family apart. Dude, I say it every day now. And not a lot of money. My family just broke up.

Part of my family just broke up because for no reason. Just the house, just the money. It's terrible. It's terrible. Yeah, it's like they're better off. It'll create factions regardless. Right. So you're telling me now not to leave my kids anything?

Don't leave them. I mean, yeah. No, tell me what to do. I ain't leaving them shit. Great always worry about the kids you're saving your family listen you'll hear people talk about i'm worried about the economy for my grandkids fuck them kids that's how i feel about you yeah yeah and nobody knows exactly what they're talking kids gonna make it on their own they're either gonna make it or not gonna make it yeah they've been making it on their own huh that's the whole human history like almost no and also people hate rich people they want to leave i want to create generational wealth so that my children

and grandchildren are hated why do that to them why do that to them honestly i'm with you all right you're so you're So you feel ageism. My thing with you is you've always seemed old. I know that sounds like an insult. Well, fuck you, Neil. I know. George, you're not hearing it. You always seemed like an uncle.

Always. This is true because I started at 27th, and I've always been opinionated, and I've always been a leader. Yeah. At 27 all your first headshot will flash it you look 40 fuck you again of course i already got one fuck you so why not fuck you yeah it's fine my first headshot i already look 40 might as well make it worth my my while you don't have my first shot you said you can't sit here and insult me like that in my face your first headshot you look 40 is it true you look 38 fuck you you know what's your last name don't worry about it no last names that comes like it's like it's like a bitha no last

names george that's a good one right there thank you thank you very much i remember the 70s they don't have sexually donor and they wouldn't exchange any information uh but they would exchange uh viruses and uh immune deficiencies um all right so fear you said fear calls is that you what does that mean you fear that you're going to get a bad call that someone else died or you're no no the fear is uh um that was about being in show business also. Going out on these calls and things like that. I'm not kidding. Cause you know, after you get on, nobody calls us.

Thank you for having me today. George Wallace, man. What are we talking about? Yeah, but there's a lot of cases. We got some TV shows, you know, he's old, he's gone. Plus when you work a lot, like when I was in Las Vegas, out of sight, out of mind, too. I must say that, too. Like, every time I come to Los Angeles, something happens.

Every time I come to Los Angeles and go on that stage at the Laugh Factory, because I still do all three of them. Like I said, I did the Communist Door, the Improv, and the Laugh Factory. Maybe I should be here more. Why not? I just did finish doing something with John Mulaney yesterday. the communist door the improv and the last back right maybe i should be here more why not i just did finish doing something with um with john mulaney yesterday oh what did you do for his tv show with the with the yeah and next week and today i'm with a young man like you so people get to see me more maybe i should stay in town i don't know you could do you could do more you are more i

would i would argue you're more beloved and in demand than you but it's showbiz so you have to constantly be banging the drum for yourself but i gotta tell the truth though i forgot about this as much as i do i just did the last project that norman lera produced great me norman lera and uh laverne cox, I should talk about this. I wanted to reboot Sanford and Son. Okay. I basically just wanted to hear, I want to hear the music.

And I went to him. Quincy Jones apparently composed that in 30 minutes high on opium. Probably. That's what I've been told. That's what you've been told. You know a lot because I listen to you and you know a lot about a lot of people. Well, I be thinking.

You should get a hat. But doing this one normally, I wanted to reboot Sanford and Son. He said, well, come up with a twist. So I went back and I was talking with a friend of mine. A friend of mine has twin kids. And one was a boy and one was a girl. But the little boy never identified as a boy. And I said, it doesn't matter.

You've got to love that kid no matter what. And then the light bulb went off in my head. What if I had a kid, Samford and Son? That was my son. And we actually wrote it up that, like, my mom died when I was 16. So my wife died when my son was 16. But my son's a little different. He goes to New York City to do his thing.

Everybody leaves home for some reason. It could be child abuse. It could be drugs, several reasons. And some things I didn't know, the son went to New York City and did his thing and lived his life. And 27 years later, I get an email that says, Dad, I'm coming home.

I freak out because I haven't seen my son in 27 years. And shouldn't know if I get a knock at the door. And the most beautiful lady in the world is standing there. And I went to a lady. I don't know what they're selling, a watchtower or whatever. It's Avon, but I'm not buying it. Not a good time to be here. You should leave because my son is coming home.

And she says to me, Dad, it's me. Dad, it's me. I said, Lady, you got Dad, it's me. Dad, it's me. I said, lady, you got dad. It's me. And I see the eyes and I go, Desmond! My son has become my daughter. And so what it's doing is teaching about love. And my daughter is laverne cox yep so it's teaching me

educating me to learn how to let people live and be who they want to be well i you that's great i'm you've never been especially you seem oh abitha and all that like you seem like you've been on the cutting edge of like everybody's everybody and it doesn't matter and whatever whatever like i could care less yeah i want to love you no matter who you are what you are and uh and i'm i'm most important thing is i'm happy yeah and people but i'm single but i'm i'm happy with who i am yeah a lot of things and people you know after in show business are you over 40 yeah so you know in show business if you're over 40 yeah Yeah. So, you know, in show business, if you're over 40. Yeah. Yeah.

But just happy with who you are. And then I got to the point, so you know what? I want to be like Jesus. Jesus wasn't married, but happy. I do everything I want to do, and life is good. So, yeah, ageism, you're good, man. You know, when I hear people like you come talk about showbiz and go like, I'm not, it's like, fuck show business.

Fuck it. You don't, you're, you superseded it. You've gone direct to consumer. Dude, if I die tomorrow, the world owes me nothing. And I'm still going on stage trying out new jokes and trying lies every night. Yes. Isn't that amazing?

Yes. Now I'm, I'm, I've retired. I have 65 65 some years back but i still get to go up on stage and do nothing yes it's like that's what i'm hoping to get for what for money you don't need no there's no class above you're not getting you have you can get the jet within with none of the responsibilities with none of it you'd be thinking yeah none of the responsibilities. None of it. You'd be thinking. Yeah, none of the gas, none of the storage, none of it. Life is good. Yes.

Yeah. What are you proudest of? I'm proud of me being who I am and doing what I want to do and taking care of my family. And I just do everything. I'm just so proud of life and giving back. Your purpose on earth is to give back and make other people happy and and it's just good i'm happy to be here today in los angeles with you i'm happy to just talking shit oh my god that's what i'm proud of it's fantastic being able to just it's unbelievable

you can't even i'm the most i've gone from the least grateful to the most grateful person in like what do you mean i just wasn't grateful for any of it I just was focused on like and now I'm like yeah now I'm just focused on like I can't believe how lucky I am it's so much better oh man yeah it's so much better you're in good shape good spirit and everything that's cool uh you've got one of the most indelibly positive energies I've experienced in my life i say that genuinely and it's true i know i do yeah yeah don't be cocky i ain't cocky and remember he told me it's okay to be cocky when you can back it up muhammad ali taught me that when he says i'm the greatest of all time it's okay to hoard if you got the closet space yeah his name is george wallace follow him

on social media go see him he's one of the greats. Thank you. And I always have to close with, I love you and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it with your punk ass. All you have to do is open, open up your hand I know