Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Jerry O'Connell

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews Jerry O'Connell (The Talk, Stand by Me, Kangaroo Jack & much more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 1:00 Neal & Jerry's 1992 Memory Disagreement 6:50 Stand by Me 12:20 Imposter Syndrome 14:40 Should there be Child Actors? 23:23 Jealousy of Corey Feldman and other people  27:50 Sponsor: CookUnity 30:12 Sponsor: BetterHelp  31:50 His Mom 38:00 relationships  39:38 Living at Home During College 43:50 Insecurity in Marriage to Rebecca Romijn  47:40 Jealousy & Insecurity 52:40 The Talk ending 57:27 Holding yourself accountable 1:00:35 Sponsor: Aura Frames 1:02:11 Sponsor: Zocdoc 1:04:05 Cheap ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ([e-mail])  Sponsors: https://www.CookUnity.com/NEAL for 50% off your first week https://www.BetterHelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first month https://www.AuraFrames.com promo code: NEAL for $35 off your order https://www.zocdoc.com/NEAL to book a top rated doctor today. Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks ---------------------------------------------------------- #podcast #comedy #mentalhealth #standup Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Hi guys, Neil Brennan. This is the Blocks Podcast. My guest today is a guy I've literally known for 32 years. We've known each other 32 years, but we don't know each other well. But we like each other. Like, you know what I mean? Like we don't know each other well. But we like each other. Like, you know what I mean? Like, we don't, we've never really socialized directly,

but it proves that you can know someone a long time, but not well. And it's, it has a significance that's not that significant. No, I think it's got a pretty big significance. I mean, listen, people who... No, no, no, let me finish. Went to college together for a year.

I dropped out. We'll get into that in a second. He was in show business before college. He's still in show business. And he's great, the great Jerry O'Connell. Wow, thank you. What an intro. It's funny, for those watching and a fan of blocks, I met Neil freshman year, New York University. Which brings up a block. We got a good one everybody. 1992. I dropped out of college. This is so good. Standing on the corner of West Third and McDougal Street. I'm handing out

flyers for a comedy club, the Boston Comedy Club. This is a job that you do when you're new in comedy. Sarah Silverman did it, got punched at, knocked out cold doing it. Nate Bargazzi did it, Pete Holmes did it. A lot of people, whatever. I'm doing it, it's very cold. I'm very gaunt.

I'm a college dropout. As I recall, Jerry walked up with a bunch of other people, as good looking as him or better, and he goes, guys, this is Neil. He used to go to NYU with me. He'll be back real soon. Now, in terms of grudges that I held, but I never was mad at you.

I was just like, I'm gonna fucking show him. But it was one of those like, he kicked sand in my face. And I'll never, because you were always very nice to me. And you claim it didn't happen. Neil. For anyone who knows me, they know, there's no way I ever said that to you. He'll be back real soon. I may have said, I hope you come back.

I'm sure I was with, because it was on Bleecker. By the way, I saw you go up numerous times. I was friends with Jay Moore at that time. I hadn't, I wasn't going up at that point. For sure, Neil, I saw you go up. I didn't. Mike DeNicola, you, Jay. I was a doorman. I didn't work. I never did going up at that point. For sure, Neil, I saw you go up. I didn't. Mike DeNicola, you, Jay. I was a doorman, I never did stand up.

You never went up on stage? Neil, I'm sure I saw you go up on Open Mic. I'm sure you went up there. It's why I knew you, I couldn't believe that I knew you through my other friend Jay, and then I would bring, I mean, we were excited because we were underage going into a bar.

Cute. There is no way. So let me tell my side of the story. Yeah, great. I've known Neil since 1991. Yep. 91, Neil. Yeah, 33 years.

Two-way. 91. Our paths cross at the Boston Comedy Club. You then work at Comedy Central. I think I was working at M-T- We just were always around. We always had mutual friends. Jordan Rubin. Yep. Rubin, speaking of which, similar thing.

I believe he sold me ecstasy at NYU. He claims it never happened. So, I could just be... I never knew him as someone who... He wasn't a drug addict. He just got it. He just got some from me. So, I could just be... I never knew him as someone who sold me narcotics. He wasn't a drug addict, he just got it. He just got some from me. I'm still very friendly with him.

So, our lives had intersected. Anytime you had done stand-up, if I saw you in the early days of Twitter, if you would say I'm at the Comedy Cellar, which you went to often. Yeah. Do you recall I went and spent a night with you there one night? I do. No, that's what I'm saying. But this is, I'm not saying you didn't, you're not a nice person or a decent, a good friend and like an ongoing touchstone.

What I'm saying is, in 1992, I believe this is what you said. Okay. I then, you have a show that you're promoting on HBO Max, I believe, a talk show, an interview show. It was on Sundance, yes. I apologize, Sundance. I still read the New York Post.

I like the New York Post. Great sports pages. I love their gossip stuff. It's a good layout, good pop, popping. Very New York. Approachable, yeah. And I read an interview with you in there, and you tell that story in the interview.

And I was in a state of shock. I was like, this never happened. And I was debating whether I take it to X Twitter, whatever it was called then, but I was like, no, I'm not even going to start a beef with this. I'm going to let it go. But it's so funny when I got the call for blocks

and they were like, you gotta submit five blocks, I was like, this has gotta be one of them. There's no way I ever said that. I think, Neil, I think maybe you... I said something along the lines of, I hope you come back, I would love to see you come back. Neil, I was very friendly with you. We had a class together.

You made me laugh. What class? Language of film. Yeah, I used to, long story. Someone said I used to argue all the time. You would debate in that class like crazy. When I heard that, it made me laugh because I don't remember it at all.

Neil, you were hilarious. I had never seen a student, not question authority, not question authority, not challenge authority, relentlessly harass authority. It was the funniest thing I had ever seen. So when I saw you and knew you were working at the Boston Comedy Club, I'm sure I was with other film students and said,

oh, this guy was in film school with us. He's coming back. I hope he comes back. He was the best in this class. That's what I would have said. There's no way I said like a bad guy in a 1980s karate film. You will never know. You were there, bro.

Um, I hear no, no, no, I am very proud of you. I mean that. Thank you. I'm very proud of you as well. The thing I want to say is, I hear your explanation of it, and you know what I'm like, and I'm gonna agree. I believe your recollection is correct. And mine is, I may have just twisted it

with my silly human brain. Let me just say something. When I heard, so Jerry was in- Oh man, when did you hear this? The movie Stand By Me. Now, when Stand By Me came out, an older, I was in eighth grade, I believe, and an older guy said,

yeah, there's a movie called Stand By Me, it's great. You probably won't like it. Which I was like, automatically, having not seen it, I was like, absolutely go fuck yourself. That I, how do you know what I would like or not like? Maybe they thought you were like a Porky's guy or something. Look, guilty as charged. But why can't you like, no, I wasn't, that it really,

it's an interesting, because it is a very well, it's a great movie, right? It's a classic. Yeah, now we consider it a classic. And then when I found a guy from Stand By Me was in my class, when I heard the rumor, I was like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. I was like, I mate, I'm like,

this is what I came to NYU film school for, it was to hobnob with kids like this. And then, yeah, and then you can take it from there. It's really funny, the fact that I was in standby me. This is really a good time. It's something that is just always with me. And I gotta tell you, at that age, it was a little tough because people would come up to me,

and I'm not saying that you did this, but people, because I was 11 when I made it, and it came out when I was 12, and 12 year olds weren't really into that movie, and if they were, their friends were like, dude, you're not gonna like this movie, you know? But typically older kids liked it. So when older kids would see me, they would say,

hey, you're the fat kid from Stand By Me. How did you like that as an intro? Neil, for years, and I have to tell you, kids would see me, they would say, Hey, you're the fat kid from Stand By Me. Right. How did you like that? Neil, for years, and I have to tell you, even saying it now, it enrages me. You've come to the right podcast. Now I've come to, I'm not going to say it doesn't anger me anymore, but I don't allow people to see it anger. I don't allow people to see it get a rise out of me. So, you know, but also when you're 12, 13, 14, 15,

when you move to Los Angeles and you're 22 and you go to a bar and at that bar is a very famous actor, very top, number one, someone you aspire to be and they're drunk and the whole night they're calling you back kid from Stand By Me. Like, and you're there on a date, and it's like... It's River Phoenix. No, it's, it's, um...

We don't have to say who it was. It's, um... Yeah, I-I-I don't even want to say who it was. And, um... It's in rate, like, you want to fight people. Okay, what's my... I guess my question is, what about it? Do they call you fat in the movie? Yes.

Real fat. That said, I've come to, like, I get it. I'm the fat kid from Stand By Me. When I'm walking, when I'm crossing the street and, you know, someone driving a garbage truck yells fat kid from Stand By Me. I can't, am I going to chase after that garbage truck and say, take it back, take it back? Well, what do you, what's the, it's the fat part. Cause you weren't fat.

It was a small, I guess it is. I do know what I, cause you're, you haven't been fat. I know. And that's, and I know of. Is this a good podcast to talk about stuff like this? I'm joking. It's a joke. It's a joke.

It's a joke. Uh-huh. This is the, the, so do you use your body now, not as like a fuck you, but is there a party that likes staying in shape to rebuke those people? There is a part of me that, am I gonna drop an O bomb? There is a part of me that is obsessed with

not getting out of shape, let's put it that way. Yeah. Because I am not obsessed with shape. I don't take any drugs that would, I mean, I'm not, you can see I'm not on steroids obviously. But you're in good shape though. Yeah, and by the way. Like hugging you just now.

It's like you've always been in shape. We are men of a particular age now. Go fuck yourself, I believe it. We established we were both freshmen together at New York University. And it's something that I think about a lot. That said, I'm very proud to have been a part of Stand By Me. It is why we're sitting here.

Let's be for real. Okay. 100%. I wouldn't be in this business. I wouldn't be married to Rebecca Romaine. None of this happens unless I'm in Stand By Me. Yep. I mean, it is crazy when I'm dating my wife for months. I'm going back 20 years now,

and I'm out with her high school friends, and her high school friends, we have a few drinks, and her high school friends say, you know, she was obsessed with Stand By Me and she loved the fat kid. And I was like, there it is. It even comes up there. So she specifically, because she could have been Cory.

It was her friend that told me. Could have been Cory, could have been River. Could have been either one of the Cory. Wait, it was Cory River. Will Wheaton, Cory Feldman, River Phoenix. Could have been Will Wheaton. So that said, I mean, being in Stand By Me is, you know, you can do the first thing and put the thing in back of me. It does. I do feel imposter

syndrome everywhere I go, because I'm not because I'm the fat kid from Stand By Me. That's interesting. Like you feel, like you're almost disappointing people that you're not little and fat anymore. Like I'm, by the way, Neil, you and I, not to pat ourselves on the back, but people watching your podcast need to know that everyone you bring on and you, we're lifers in this business.

We've been doing it and at a pretty high level and we're still here. And that's not to say we don't both, all of us deal with abject failure. Canceled shows, immediate. We're gonna get into that, I love that as it's, yes. Canceled shows, not getting roles. I didn't get a role this week.

What the fuck, Neil? I was the fat kid in Stand By Me. This is crazy. So, when I go on a set, for example, I'm an actor on a show called Billions. Uh, hi,falutin show. Paul Giamatti. Paul Giamatti, I'm forgetting.

Uh, Damien Lewis. Um, Corey Stahl. Yep. Best of the best. Dan Soder. Dan Soder. For fuck's sake. Um, yeah, Soder. Um, you know, Ioder. For fuck's sake. Yeah, Soder.

You know, I go on that set and I'm like, oh man, I don't, I'm just a fat kid from Stand By Me. Really? I shouldn't be doing scenes with these people, man. But okay, well, I wanna- Damien Lewis was in Bandit Brothers, Paul Giamatti is Paul Giamatti, man. Was in private parts. But you were great in Stand By Me.

I know. What I'm saying is like, why do you think you're not great in Stand By Me. I know. What I'm saying is like, I know. What do you, why do you think you're not great in it? Like what's the difference? I am interested in acting as a, so much of it is about your looks.

That would sort of fuck with me in terms of like, Yeah. Meaning like, As you get older, it shouldn't be, aren't you more comfortable with how you look as you age? Yeah, you just kind of like, ah. There's nothing you can do. Ah, what are we gonna do?

What are we gonna do? We can join 24 hour fitness and try and get on an elliptical for 20 minutes a day. I don't think that's gonna make a difference. It doesn't, it's skin, it's how hard, how tight is your skin to your fascia is like what it comes down to. It's like, it's pretty hard, how tight is your skin to your fascia is like what it comes down to. It's like, it's pretty random what happens.

I started taking yoga with my wife, just really to appease my wife, and it's really healthy, it's like fun, you know? It's like good stuff. Yeah, everyone knows about yoga. That's not new, but. And relaxing, like you go in a dark room and then you hit a gong.

It's not that hard. The thing about yoga is not that hard. Yeah. I feel like I'm. You feel like you're doing something but it's not really doing something. Yeah, I'm only. It's not that hard. The thing about yoga is not that hard. Yeah. I feel like I'm. You feel like you're doing something, but it's not really doing something. Yeah, I've only. It's like moving a very light couch.

I've only done it a month. It's almost like pickleball, and I feel like an expert. Yeah, that's a great analogy. I'm like basically a yogi. Hold on. We're going back to child acting. Well, let me ask you this. Do you think there should be child actors?

Meaning, knowing what it does to you, I'm always curious, and I asked Seth Green the same thing. Like, do you, I'm kind of on the fence. Yeah, it's really funny, not to make this whole podcast about Stand By Me, and it's a little scary coming to do your show, A, because I don't like talking about myself. I know everyone's, you can laugh at that, but I mean that, and I I don't like talking about myself. I know everyone's, you can laugh at that,

but I mean that, and I specifically don't like talking about your inner life. Feelings, you know? Somebody made a joke of me the other day. Oh, man, I went out with him and it's a buddy of mine. And he said, you know, sometimes I suffer from depression, which I understand is very serious and all that stuff. And I made a joke like, hey, come on, we're going to,

we were going to a sporting event. I said, come on, we're going to a major sporting event. Come on, let's not be depressed today. And he said, what are you, an eighties dad? And he laughed so hard. Yeah, that's how they used to do it. So there is a part of me that's a little eighties dad in the sense that like, you know, one of my daughters

also told me she's like depressed and I was like, hey, like just keep going, we're gonna keep going. That's what we 80s dad in the sense that like, you know, one of my daughters also told me she's like depressed and I was like, hey, like just keep going. We're gonna keep going. That's what we're gonna do. And I know that's the wrong thing to say, especially on this podcast. I don't, I'm now more in that camp than you'd think. But I, there is a part of me that, this is out of my comfort zone.

I agree, I did it because you're my friend to be because it's fun to do things out of your comfort zone. Something that scares you. So that said... Like yoga. Go ahead. So I have a child now who's a teenager who wants to be an actress. I have a nepo baby.

And I help her with auditions for school. She's not doing anything professional now. And it's funny, what a stage parent I turn into. I'm like, listen, you gotta sell it when you go in on this audition for high school. We need this money. Well, I've heard... that you're, like, the, when you're in showbiz,

your kid wants to get in showbiz, it really is like, your competitive juice is just immediately... And, but you have a lot of experience with it. Yeah, but this is pretty funny. When I was in Stand By Me, Stand By Me came out, it was a huge hit. It was a complete, it wasn't a surprise to my family.

It was a complete shock to my entire family. I recall River Phoenix's mother calling up my mother in the days of landlines and saying to my mother, Linda, you gotta get an agent. I mean, this movie's a hit. The kid needs an agent. They were like hippies, Rivers parents, weren't they? Yes, but they had been in the entertainment industry.

They had lived in Los Angeles. My mom was a public school teacher, Jersey City, 70s, 80s, 90s, they just weren't showbiz people. So this was a complete shock to, it was a shock. The movie was a hit. And it was funny, the movie came out, I got an agent, River Phoenix's mom was kind enough to hook us up with an agent and we got an agent.

And my first audition after Stand By Me was a sitcom called Webster. Great. Starring Emanuel Lewis. And for those who don't remember, this is the part where... We all know who starred in Webster. Right, this is where you cut to a... A funny clip.

A clip of Webster. Webster! And I auditioned to be his friend, and it was for a six episode arc. Those who don't know what that is, that means six episodes or something like that. And it was kind of a big deal. And I just bombed the audition.

I didn't, my parents didn't know how to prepare for an audition. How'd you get standby may? Open call New York city. Got a call back. How did you audition? Got a call back. Got two call backs.

We had an actor who lived on our street. I grew up in New York city, very Chelsea artistic. Like 21st Street? 17th and 17th. 17th, yeah. This is in the 70s and 80s. It was all lofts. It was all artists. Went to the apartment, yep. Very, a very gay neighborhood.

So we had a guy who lived on our block, um, character actor named Blake Brock Smith. You can look him up. He was in the Flamingo Kid. He's, he was a character actor. And we knew he was an actor. I think he did a few off, off, off Broadway. Brock Smith. You can look him up. He was in The Flamingo Kid. He was a character actor. We knew he was an actor. I think he did a few off-off-off-Broadway shows in our neighborhood.

And we would go see theater in our neighborhood. There was a famous theater on the East Side called La Mama and a place called Naked Angels. We may have seen him in a play or something. And my mom said, you got to practice this screen test with this guy as he acted down the street. And he was a character actor, you know? And he gave me such good, like, auditioning tricks. Like, you gotta get into a fight with Corey Feldman's character, so don't talk to him until you come in the audition room

and then fucking explode on him. And he gave me tricks. He gave me auditioning tricks. And I got the role. And did you, did Corey audition with you? They paired us up with a group of other kids. And Corey was one of the kids that I auditioned with. So I got it. And Neil, when I got to set,

I gotta tell you up until that point in my life, I was called hyperactive. Now they call it, I guess, ADHD. But I was always in trouble. And I was always, I just recall my mother, like, having to go to principals and then drag me to the car and being like, can't you just shut the fuck up? Why do you gotta, sit on your hands, shut up,

don't talk unless they call on you, what are you doing? And this accent's real. That's how she talks. Just shut up, can't you shut up? It's funny, I went to a set. The set? Go to the movie set, first day of shooting.

This is in Oregon or something? Oregon, Eugene, Oregon. We had rehearsed for a couple weeks. I got to know these kids. I remember coming from New York, I remember being like, all right, I gotta act. I can't let these kids bully me. I gotta act tough.

And then I was like, this is different. These are actors. They wanna work. They want to do acting exercises and stuff. They want to have fun. It was a different vibe, you know? It was more survival where I'd come from in the New York City public school system. And so I was having fun, and I was comfortable with them.

And their energy matched my energy. Yeah, that's interesting. I remember the first day of set, we're shooting a scene and we're on set, and we're matched my energy. Yeah, that's interesting. I remember the first day of set, we're shooting a scene and we're on set, and we're doing the master. For those who don't know... What's the scene? The scene is the junkyard scene

where we're sitting around and throwing stones into a can. Yeah. I think that's tits are getting bigger. Think so? I think so. So you got, there's a jump scare kind of thing? No, there's no jump scare.

It's just us talking and goofing around. But then you cut to this. Like there was something scary at the junkyard. There was a dog that comes at the end of the scene. Right. White chick. Ha ha ha. But this is the beginning of the scene.

Oh, that's the end of the scene, okay. I'll tell you what happens at Stand By Me, Neil. Um, um, so, um, we're throwing stones in a can and we're doing our lines, we're doing our lines. And then the scene ends, right? And then I start fucking around, you know? In character, but just, I felt comfortable around these guys and I start fucking around.

And Rob Reiner, who directed Stand By Me, yells, cut, and he starts, he yells it, cut! And then he yells, Jerry! and he starts yells it cut and then he yells Jerry and he starts walking towards set and I'm like oh god here we go like it's my mom I sit on your hands what are you doing shut up can't you just do the fucking lines and shot up he comes in front of the whole crew everyone 60 people and he says Jerry I want more of that. That's what I want. You see that fellas? That's what I want. I want that. Let's go again. And, uh, Neil, it was like a light bulb went off in my, in my body.

Like it was your home. Yeah. This is what you've been doing, getting in trouble. I gotta tell you, I felt like, um, this is the real me when he said that. Now I know who I am. I didn't know who I was until that point, until he said that. And I thought, oh, this is me. Yeah. This is it.

It's okay to be like this. This is it. This is who I am. Uh, it was, um, and I've been chasing Rob Reiner coming over and saying, that's what I want, more like that ever since. So there is something interesting that my wife says, we're gonna get back to your child actor thing. My wife says that I, you know, my relationship,

we go to therapy as a couple, that I put my career ahead of everything. And it's, cause I am chasing that, that high that I got from that. And that feeling of just feeling that home. Yeah. Just at home. That said, talking about the child actor thing, it is funny. Stand by me comes out. It's a big hit. I don't get Webster. But my question is like, should a child have that level of responsibility? Yeah, and I'm gonna get to that.

I don't get the Webster role, right? I go back to public school. I'm now in the eighth grade at JHS 17, Clinton School. And I start to see Corey Feldman in Lost Boys, Will Wheaton's in Star Trek, and River Phoenix is in Indiana Jones and everything. He's up for an Oscar? Yeah.

And I'm at JHS 17. Yeah. And I remember I went to go see Lost Boys with my friends. And... Are you in touch with those guys? Yeah, sort of. I mean, in touch back then. This is pre-cell phone, so... Land, I mean, this is pre cell phones.

So landlines was a little bit landline here and there. No, not really. I'm not writing letters to them. Um, speak for yourself. I wrote letters to the entire cast. Um, but, um, I remember I went to go see lost boys and a, and a buddy of mine, um, who I saw it with was like, Hey, that kid was in Stand By Me With You,

that, that guy, Corey Bellman. And I went, yeah. And he went, why aren't you in that movie? Like the fuck's going on with you? And I remember feeling jealousy for the first time in my, uh, and it was like, it was jealousy. It was like, why the fuck aren't I in that? And that was a problem when I was younger was comparing, it was jealousy. It was like, why the fuck aren't I in that?

And that was a problem when I was younger, was comparing myself to other people. And it's something I, if I do it now, Neil, I immediately recognize it and take steps to not, to not only mitigate it, to try and erase it completely. Cause that comparison, ding, right back at me, is it floating in back of me? Here it comes, here it comes, here it comes.

Ah. So obviously you weren't made jealous, jealousy is a human emotion. What I'm wondering is, is there, is being a child actor, your experience with Rob is fantastic. Cory, Cory had a very different experience. Cory had a very different experience. River had a very different experience, I would guess. What I'm wondering is,

is it too much responsibility for a child to be a professional at that level? I think you gotta go for it, because Stand By Me changed my life, for the positive. I wouldn't, I mean, for the positive. I wouldn't, I mean, I love it. I'll take all the, take back in from Stand By Me's. But it also changed Cory and River, and is it one of those, you know, Will seems to be like,

had a more similar, you know, like. He's doing well, he's doing well. I don't know, I really think it, I think it's really the individual and how they deal with it, you know? I mean, also when you get older, these all just become experiences and you can't change who you are.

Yeah. I mean, that's it. Yeah, no, I guess it's like what, some kids get eaten up and their life is much worse and I guess there's just no way to know. There were times when I wasn't like, I remember thinking like I was in Stand By Me, something is, oh, like why aren't I getting that role

in Webster, that six episode arc? I was in Stand, I was in fucking Stand By Me. But there was no like molestation, there was no nothing. No. Nothing. No, nothing like that. I'm sorry,ation. There was no nothing. Nothing. No, nothing like that. I'm sorry. I was hoping today.

Nothing like that. Very positive experience. But I mean, I just, I gotta give you something here on blocks. No, no, no, you don't. No, I'm not saying it like I'm trying to extract it. I guess I'm just more curious as someone who did it because most people were not child actors

and it's like, what is, is it scary? It sounds like yours was like liberating, validating. Other people, and I guess there's just no way to, it's a bit like drugs in that like, a lot of people have an amazing time, some people die. It wasn't scary. I mean, I guess one could say, stand by me being my first professional job sets you up for a lifetime of professional disappointment.

You know, it's tough to say, you know, tell me something you've been in, stand by me. Yeah, yeah. Anything else? Kangaroo Jack? The Kangaroo that talks? Yeah, did, did incredibly well. Kangaroo Jack? The kangaroo that talks? Yeah, did it. Did it incredibly well. Kangaroo Jack. Hey guys, how's your holiday shopping going? Who's on your list?

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go to the kitchen, you go to the kitchen, you go to the kitchen, you go to the kitchen, you go to the kitchen, you go to. All right, here's the premise of Cook Unity. They have a lot of different chefs creating a lot of different meals based on your preferences. So you go on there, you pick the kind of meal you want, you know, I'm vegetarian, vegan, mostly vegan, a little vegetarian. Then how many meals you want, things you need to avoid, and then it'll give you options. Last time I did it was like 30 options, you know, because of my restrictions, whatever, we all got restrictions. There's like a good Italian, there's good Indian, good Japanese. The food got to my house not frozen on time. And it's like legitimately great. They had fake chicken, they had impossible burgers, they had a lot of stuff that I like anyway.

And they'd like by the Mexican, they had a lot of burritos, they had a lot of stuff that I like anyway and they'd like by the Mexican they had a lot of burritos, they had a lot of bowls. They had a lot of options. I had 30 options. You probably eat more than me so you they're upward of 350 options and it's also not expensive. A lot of these places are like $20 a meal and this is not even close to that. So, so knock yourself out. Flexible, commitment-free subscriptions, skip deliveries, pause or cancel anytime. Enjoy restaurant quality meals for a fraction of the price. I would say these are restaurant quality meals. Subscriptions start as low as $11 a meal. Their roster of All-Star chefs includes Food Network alums, James Beard award winners, and acclaimed restaurateurs, balancing flavor and nutrition in small batch meals, sent fresh, not frozen.

You can tell that they weren't frozen. It's still early for me, so I don't want to single out specific chefs, but they had really a lot of options and there's a couple I got my, there's a woman and a man who I like, I like their stuff. Give the gift of delivering mouth-watering meals crafted by local ingredients and award-winning chefs with Cook Unity. Go to cookunity.com slash N-E-A-L or enter code N-E-A-L before checkout for 50% off your first week.

That's 50% off your first week by using code N-E-A-L or go to cookunity.com slash Neil. This is a great thing. You should do it. Happy holidays. My angels. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Holidays, guys. I went to Thanksgiving. Not bad, actually. It was not. I had to sort of like the voiceover was telling me like, attack counter counter that move your brother just get him but uh I didn't because I've been focusing on you know better mental habits and therapy is no small part of that there is a great way to bring yourself some comfort that never goes away even when the season changes again therapy I had no. I'm gonna go on the record as saying I was codependent, guys.

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Happy holidays. So you do this sitcom called Camp Wilder in 1992. Right, with your friend. With Jay Moore, who I was roommates with at the time. And I remember Jay telling me a story about you went to a party and your dad, where your dad went to the party and picked you up. Is that a-

Yeah, this is a Jay Moore, this is a Jay Moore special. It's one of those things Jay Moore just like locks onto. I know, he locked onto it. It's not gonna be that funny. No, all right, then don't tell. I just like- I gotta tell this story now that you asked about it. I went to a beach party when I was a teenager.

My father wanted, I was going fishing with my father the next morning. My father came into the middle of the beach party, there was a bonfire, and my father yelled, Jerry, the luau is over! And Jay loved that story, so now he, anytime I see Jay, he yells, the luau is over. I kind of think of it too, because he said it so many times to me.

Yeah. Did your dad have a British accent? Yeah, he's a British guy. How did your British, a British accent? Yeah, he's a British guy. How did your British dad end up marrying a New Jersey public? My dad's from England. He moved to the United States in the 50s. That's how old he is. And he met my mom in the early 70s in New York, and my mother's from a little country called Jersey City. And it's funny, my father is a petite Englishman,

and he said when he moved to the United States, he wanted a big American car and a big American wife. And you know, my mom is a very tall lady from Jersey City. I think I put her down as one of my blocks. You did, which I wanna get into. Yeah, I've been. Please. And again, I love my mom. Yes.

My mom is, there's a good chance my mom is listening to this. My mother has discovered Google. I think I'm on a Google alert on her iPhone. And I love my mom. The Google alert on her iPhone and the, you know, I love my mom and I don't want to call her and stand by me. Right. But also I don't want to like, um, you know, I go to therapy, I go to therapy and I, I don't want to blame. I hate the blaming of mommy, you know, like,

I gotta say, this is what I'm talking about. It's like, I'm just, I don't, I kinda got rid of it. And now when people do it, I'm a bit like, you gotta fast forward. Fast forward, fast forward to like, what you're doing. I know, I know. So what you're doing is, you're, it said you had a, your mom was generally distrustful.

Yes. Of? Of women, really. It's funny, when I moved to Los Angeles. She was distrustful of Yes. Of? Of women, really. It's funny, when I moved to Los Angeles. She was distrustful of women? Oh my gosh, when I moved to Los Angeles, there was like, don't get anybody pregnant. You got it, like every phone call was,

nobody's pregnant, right? You're not getting anybody pregnant. And probably looking back, I mean, maybe my mom had a scare or something, or maybe I've got a sibling out there. When I met my wife and started to seriously date my wife and then become engaged to my wife. And then try to get her pregnant.

Oh my gosh. When my wife said, we have to try to get pregnant, I was like, I don't know how to do that. You're married at this point. Oh, I'm married for years at this point. And had you talked about it? You know, up until this point, I had been like running over to potted plants and ejaculating in them. Um, I was, I had such a fear of

just really like entrusting orgasm, really satisfying or plants. Try it. Just try it. Meal. Try it. Um, and Harvey Weinstein. No, you, don't knock it. Like, try it. Just try it, Neil, try it. Fine, fine. And call me afterwards. So did it ruin sexual experiences for you? Were you like, oh boy. I think it ruined sexual experiences. Hard to ruin, but yeah.

It made it impossible for me to be in any kind of relationship, and it was funny. It wasn't until I went to therapy with my wife, where I really like unpacked it, you know? Where it was like a therapist, like, within minutes it, you know, where it was like a therapist, like within minutes said, you know, your wife is now your most trusted confidant, not your mommy. And I was like, no, no, no, my mom, I call my mommy. I have a problem.

Were you doing that? You were calling your mom all the time. You know, there was an incident that happened. I had an appointment in the morning and my wife said, oh, let's go get breakfast. So change this. I don't know, it was an audition or something. Change that audition. Can you do it later?

So I changed the audition to later. And then my wife said, oh, actually, I'm going to go do something. You can change it back to the afternoon and we'll go do something in the afternoon. And so I changed it back. And I must have told my mom this story, you know? Not that big of a deal.

Hey, I can't make it to the morgue. Can I change it to the afternoon? But we still have a landline in our house, like a speakerphone, and the phone rang, and I hit it, and my wife was in the kitchen, and I was in the kitchen. And the phone rang, and I said, hello. And my mother said, so she, uh, let you go to

your appointment. And my wife was like right there. And I was like, uh, and I knew what was happening, but I, I just, my fight or flight was not working. And I went, I'm sorry, what? You know, when you get busted and you're like, what, what, what? And my when you get busted and you're like, what?

What? And my wife said, my wife, Jesus Christ. My mom said, yeah. My mom said, your wife, she finally let you go with that appointment. She never lets you go to work. I mean, it's crazy. Everything's about her.

I don't know what you're going to do. And my wife picked up the phone and said, Hey, Linda, everything's about her. I don't know what you're gonna do. And my wife picked up the phone and said, hey Linda, I'm right here, I can hear you. And my wife was like, we have to go to therapy. My wife was very much into therapy. I was not into therapy. Like literally hangs up the phone and goes like, we gotta go to therapy.

My wife said, we're going to therapy. And I went and it was, yeah, it was a real epiphany. It was like that Rob Reiner epiphany on the set where a therapist said, you can't call your mommy if you have an issue with your wife changing those appointments, you have to tell your wife. And really it was sort of, you know, a few more sessions that I realized like the therapist is like,

maybe you should come on your own a little bit. And it was a lot of, you know, my mother, now listen, in my mother, I'm not complaining about my mommy. I love her. I talked to her on the way here to get, to gear up for this, to get the juices flowing for you. What was it, just enmeshment? What did the therapist say?

I think my mom has trauma, I think. Probably. And I think, yeah, I think I'm her eldest son. And I think there's a relationship there that, I mean, I think it's healthy, but when I got married, it was probably unhealthy, you know? Was it like talk all the time, share everything, et cetera, et cetera? Yeah, it was...

How did you explain like falling in love, had you ever, that you hadn't been married and you hadn't had a serious girlfriend or you had? Well, yeah, I had a couple of girlfriends, I guess, but always on the way out, never serious. Even when I was in, I was like on the way out, always. How would you, did they, could they sense it? I think so. And I think, I mean, I think in a lot of ways

it makes one more attractive, you know? Yeah, I was pretty terrible as a boyfriend, I guess you could say. Were you, you would say you were terrible? Or it was just kind of like, not like? I just knew I was never gonna stay in any relationship I was in, you know? I don't know.

Looking back, do you think it was because of your mom or you think it was just because that's where you were? I think it's a little bit of both. Great. Yeah, I think it was my mom in my ear saying, don't do it, you know, don't do it. I think also... She, your father and her are still married, no?

Yes, but I think my mother came from a different generation where people got married right out. I think my mother's sister, my aunt, got married right after high school and it was disastrous, it was disastrous. She didn't want you to get locked into something that you couldn't get out of. And it actually goes back to college too.

I lived at home during college, I didn't stay in. Yeah, that's one of your box. It's a funny box, cause like I was in the dorm you very may well have been in, and I gotta say you didn't miss that much. I did lose my virginity. Pretty cool. In that dorm. In the dorm, yes.

10th and Broadway in New York. So that's something. Well, that's the name of the building, not the woman. Yeah, I lived at home during college. I mean, NYU was expensive, and so it was like saving whatever we could. And also I think, you know, I, I now have children and I'm going to encourage them to not stay at home should they choose to go to college.

Knowing how much that'll it'll be expensive. And it's, you think it's like, you want them gone or you just think it's constructive for them to do it. Do you think it's like you want them gone or you just think it's constructive for them to do it? Me living at home during college made me very insecure in the sense that I was thinking like my buddies like Neil were like just having sex in their dormitory and losing their virginity

and I was not. I was living with my elderly grandfather, my parents, we had a dog and my brother who was still in high school. And it was just crowded, you know? It was just, it was crowded. It was impossible to, I wanted to have sex, Neil. It was impossible to have a sex life with that. You know, I wasn't able-

That's interesting though, as badly as you wanna have sex and your mom going like, don't, was there, did you ever talk about the tension? Was there tension there or was it just, uh, no, I mean, I still wanted to have sex. Pretty, pretty basic urge. Didn't want to get, uh, just people pregnant. Yeah, I guess that's what I wanted also.

So not that different. My mom just wasn't that big on it. But I knew I wanted to have sex. That was something I wanted to do, um, badly. And, uh, I just felt like everybody was having fun and I wasn't, but then we moved out here and not dissimilar to how you feel when you first moved to Los Angeles, which is like, everyone's having fun and I'm not where we're like looking in the Hills and being like, like all those shimmery cocaine parties, there's a party up there.

Why am I not at one of them? Yeah. I'm a fun guy. I remember when I first moved out here, I was like, when I make it, I'm going to get one of those floodlights and just put it in front of my house. Like, I don't know why I just wanted to like pop it all. Like something's happening and I'm not a part of it. And then I guess I've made it to varying degrees and almost never have I been at a thing

that was like, a couple of times I've been like, wow, this is a big thing. You know, it's such a relief. I'm sure a lot of your listeners are way younger than me, but it's such a relief when you get older because you actually, you don't, you realize, you don't have to, not only do you not have to go out,

it's not fun. It's way more fun to do something with one person and share an experience with one, maybe two people. I have to convince myself of that pretty much every day. And in terms of inviting people to my house, I don't want anyone, anyone there. Let me be clear. I have a cleaning person that comes once a week,

and I'm like, oh, fuck, here they are. Oh, God, they're coming in. And they're coming in to clean. I sulk the whole time. I'm sulking any time there's somebody doing something in my house, and it's like a privilege. All the list of the, of course. I actually help, I hand out top of top chico's and.

Yeah, you didn't have to use the Mexican one. They've felt raises. I know that's actually the one. No, I love top of chico. It's the most bubbly one, I get it. The 100% the bubbly one, I'm addicted to it, I love it. But yes, I'm like. Did you just put addiction in back of me?

Addicted top of chico. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't, I'm like, I just put addiction in back of me, addicted, top of the sheet. Yeah. Yeah, but I don't, I'm just like a real introvert or whatever, I like one person. You can really only, it's like, people think they can multi, it's like, I can't multi friend. I don't even like having lunch with more than one person,

like anything. Yeah, I will say now that I'm in a marriage, watch, I'm going to get divorced before this drops. So fun having somebody else, you know, don't always agree, it's really difficult. How did you fall in love with her? It was definitely physical. My wife, you can look it up, was a supermodel.

I don't even think was, you are a supermodel. Yeah, they can't take that away. It's like being a president. They don't even think was. Well, you, you are super. Well, yeah, they can't take it away. It's like being a president. Um, they don't say he was president. Maybe he's a president. When you meet her, you got to have a supermodel. So there was definitely a physical attraction, man. Talk about insecurities.

Um, well, that's what I'm curious about is because back then she was Rebecca Romaine Stamos. So you had Stamos hanging over you and she was in, in the movie. Oh my God. And, uh, storm, she was storm the movie. Oh my God, all of them. And also. She was Storm, right? Mystique in the X-Men's. But also, I mean, like, you know,

we take trips and I'm flying her. This is not a joke. This is not a bit. I'm flying her on Spirit Air, you know, and she's used to flying private, you know? This is a real. Do you buy her like more overhead? Do you get her a blanket?

I say I... LAUGHS You can buy it. It's all a la carte. You gotta purchase it. Do you want... I said you can take a carry-on. LAUGHS And if you want, I paid for the bathroom access. Um...

What a mensch. So there is like insecurity... Did you ever... Okay, I believe that there's some version of that that's true. Did she... No. Did you ever talk about it? Did you ever say like, I know what there's some version of that that's true. Did you ever talk about it? Did you ever say like, I know what you're used to. Where were you flying her to On Spirit?

We were going to Oakland and it was, my wife is from Oakland. Okay. And we were flying up there. I mean, I don't know. I was on a budget. I get it. I just bought a condo. I had the house payments.

Some condo makes it even sadder. But yeah, On Spirit Air, it says click here if you just bought a condo. I had the house payment some condo makes it even sadder. But yeah On spirit error says click here if you just bought a condo and they know they know what to charge you So there was a lot of insecurity about that. Um a lot of insecurity about Mean not being a star her ex was a huge star. I Didn't I'm not gonna talk about comments here on this show it's so lame, but if you did read comments at that time it was comparing me to her ex like why is she with this the fat kid from stand by me what a fucking downgrade and You know we'd go to lunch we'd be in the Daily Mail and you read the comments and it's like she went from that guy to Fucking yeah this fucking

Basic cable shithead. Mm-hmm. So I guess there was insecurity and the only thing Neil why am I not insecure about it anymore? Is it age? What is it experience? I don't think you probably just get used to her Are you talking about people's responses? Neil, you just can't do you. Nothing happens. Neil, you and I are, we established are exactly the same age, almost the same person.

Are you like me in the sense that you don't care anymore? Like I care. I think less every day in a way that I enjoy. I did write in my gratitude checklist today that I would, I do like life and I'm happy to be alive and I would miss it if I wasn't alive. 100%. So like, I'm not like whatever.

There are times where I'm like, I could, I mean, I remember my mom one time being like, if I died now, I'd be fine. This is like 25 years ago. If you died. No, if she died. No if I died now, I'd be fine. This is like 25 years ago. If you died. No, if she died. No, if she died, she'd be fine. So I get it, you can only,

insecurity doesn't lead any, none of it leads anywhere. Yeah, I don't know what happened. Inner model, it never ends up with self-improvement. Never, it just, you just go, I don't know what to do. Yes, I'm with Rebecca Romaine. I'm sorry. Yeah. And you find it's like categorical. It's not just her, it's just go, I don't know what to say. Yes, I'm with Rebecca Romaine. I'm sorry. Yeah. And you find it's like categorical.

It's not just her, it's just every, everything that you used to care about, you find less, less. Yeah, I gotta tell you professionally too. I used to also professionally if a show got canceled or if I didn't get a role, it would send me into like a tailspin for months, you know? And I would get, I mean, jealous and upset

about shows that did get picked up and why didn't mine get picked up? And then I would watch them and then obsessively look at the ratings of the shows that got picked up and it's not even doing well, Neil. And checking ratings of shows that I have nothing to fucking do it. And now I like I catch myself doing that. You'll you'll start to type it. This is what I find.

I start to type it. It's loading. And I go, What are you doing? Yeah, I gotta tell you, if I feel that thought, um, oh, what are some things I do if I feel that thought? I try and do like a contrary action. Like I know to, I know I'm getting jealous about something and that's not going to help me at all. Oh, this is another great thing. Like jealousy or comparison is, it more you're going to be jealous. And I think that's the biggest thing. I think that's the biggest thing.

And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing.

And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing.

And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that's the biggest thing. And I think that still the right thing. I can't be jealous or compare myself. That's not hot. Yeah. Hot people don't do that. Gotta be hot. Gotta be hot. You're a hot guy. I really enjoy getting older. For that reason. Yeah.

Well, yeah, it's funny how the tailspin, it'll be like two hours now. And then I still have it. There are times where I don't have it at all, depending on what it is. Yeah. And I go into like, what are they gonna think and say, and they didn't, and then I'm just like,

and then usually the same day I'm just like, eh, I'm over it. And definitely when I wake up the next day, it's over. Yeah. But you're right, it used to last months. Months. Years. And it's tough, and I get it, you know?

It's really tough, you know? It's just, you know, if there's like any takeaway or something, try and understand that it's just, um, you know, if there's like any takeaway or something, try and understand that is, uh, that it's, it's, it's a fault with yourself, you know, and try and just, I'm not saying you can cure it or get rid of it. It doesn't happen. It doesn't work that way.

Just try to recognize it. Yeah. Just try to recognize it. That's all I try to do now is just like recognize it and be aware of it is recognized floating in back of me right now. It might could be. You have to pay.

You have to pay after a certain number. You got to pay for each one. It's like spirit. Yeah, I've been telling myself a thing in my gratitude checklist, which is don't identify with yourself. It sounds like what a psychopath would say, but like you go, we just think every thought and feeling we have is like gospel.

And like we gotta chase it and fucking polish it and like, hey, that's right feeling. And I am jealous or I am upset or I am, and it's like, no, or you can just go, I don't know. That's just another one that I can either accept or reject. Yeah. It's funny having kids too, because my kids are teenagers now. So when they say things like they,

like I have a daughter who goes up for high school plays and stuff and she's like, talks about another girl who's going up for the same role. And I'm like, don't, like, I'm telling you, what, that path you're going down now, don't do it. It's something that I went down and it's just not it's not pretty. Please don't do it I can't wait for when she comes down one morning. It's like hey, why are you not in Lost Boys? Have you can you say can you tell her Lost Boys? Can you tell her the Lost Boys story of like it's not

Do you like it? I'm about the the jealousy did it spur action or was it just like a negative feeling? There's nothing positive about jealousy. There's nothing positive about it. I mean- Comparing yourself to someone else. I think that's the key to Michael Jordan's success. It became personal with me. I think there are a lot of people that are like crazy. Yeah, it might be, I gotta tell you,

sports, athletics might be a little different cause you're facing off to similar foes and you're like, you have like a goal. Yeah. Um, I don't think it's the same in life. You know what I'm saying? I think, um, I think it's almost like an individual sport where you like, it's just,

it's a, did it make you get every, what made you better at the job? Wow. It's so funny. I just had a blast of insecurity a better time. What made you better at the job? Wow, it's so funny. I just had a blast of insecurity. Like, who am I to tell people, like, what makes me better at a job? Whether you're good or not, I'm saying what made you better

after that garbage performance in Stand By Me? How did you turn it around? Try not to get hysterical or upset about things. I realize that, um, that things will pass, you know, that tough times will pass. I'm currently working on a, um, a daytime talk show that is canceled. It has an end date. You've been on.

I've been on a daytime talk show called the talk on CBS for like five years now, four years, and it's coming to an end date. You've been on... I've been on a daytime talk show called The Talk on CBS for like five years now, four years. And it's coming to an end in December. It's funny, I can really see people like panicking, you know? It's been on the air for 15 years. I've only been there since 20... 21? I thought it was earlier than that,

but maybe you were doing something else. I was doing something else. I was doing something else. I was co-hosting with Kelly Ripa for a while there. I've been doing some daytime stuff for a little while now. Wendy Williams also. If we could get her on here, that would mean a lot. How dare him! I control men!

I don't... Get out. And it's coming to an end, and I can see people like, people who've been there for 15 years. It's like panic mode, you, and it's coming to an end and I can see people like people have been there for 15 years. It's like, it's like, yeah, mode, you know, it's, it's, it's scary. You've been on shows that are ending. It's like people react. I might add a little abruptly.

Yeah. But, but, uh, yeah, yeah, no, people do. You can see it's, um, and so I try not to, um, I, I try not to panic through those situations. I try not to act out. I always try not to act out. I try not to have any beefs with anybody. I try not to act out. There's been yelling on this show, like people

yelling at each other. And, um, I realize it's because emotions are high. Yeah. No, that's the only reason. Like when everybody was screaming, emotions are high. Yeah. No, that's the only reason. Like when everybody was screaming at the street. Yeah, emotions are high. Or out of their minds. And I try not to ever lose my shit, you know.

That sounds like good advice for as a person. I guess I'm wondering what has motivated you to improve if competition doesn't spur you. Cause competition does spur me. Like I try to recognize, I try to recognize fears and I try to recognize insecurities and I try to recognize resentments if I ever feel angry at somebody and I try to think to myself, how did,

what is my, why am I mad? What is my part in this? Yeah. It's just so much cooler to not act out or freak out. It's just so much cooler. It's hotter. Now that said, you actually, you don't feel,

you don't feel like weirdness afterwards. That's the worst part about like acting out and panicking or freaking out or yelling at someone is your relationship will never be the same with that person. You're going to act like, well, yeah, we're cool. We're cool. We're never going to be cool again. You're never going to be cool again. And that's embarrassing. Yeah.

Oh man. And I got to tell you a couple of times I've like, I try to, if I do something bad, I try to immediately hold myself accountable. Um, it's really funny. Uh, the, the, the last time this happens is, uh, on this daytime television show I do. I try to immediately hold myself accountable. It's really funny. The last time this happens is on this daytime television show I do. We do topics every day, Neil.

It's like, hey, good morning. We're doing topics today. What lot on the lotto was $1 billion. What lot of numbers would you do? And I read out, I said, I'll tell you a lot of numbers I would do. And I read out all of my co-hosts' birth dates, years and everything, and they were very upset that I gave their years. And I thought it was like a cute joke, like I'm gonna play your birthdays,

like it's like a lotto thing, you know? A lot of thing. And a couple of them were like, why did you say my birthday on it? Why did you say my birth year? You know, they were upset. And immediately afterwards I asked my boss, I was like, I gotta have like a zoom and I had a zoom and I was like, I am so sorry.

I did that everyone. I'm so embarrassed that'll never happen again. And that was it. It was over. I mean, I like, there was no weirdness between me and them at all. The really good one I have is, um, oh man, this is a long one that I had.

I was on a TV show. I was an actor. I was playing a police, uh, I was playing a cop on a, uh, like a procedural television shows have you done? I've done a, I've been in a bunch. You've been the lead on a lead, leadish. I don't know. One of the leads. What do they call it? Uh, they count them on the call sheet. Like what number are you? I was number

eight on this call sheet. That means I was the eighth lead. Yeah. You got a 30. It's so terrible when actors go, Hey, what number are you on the call sheet? It's such a bad, such a bad, by the, it's comparison. Oh God. Another bad thing that actors always say, Hey, do you have to audition anymore? Like that's another one. It, it never ends by the way. Um, you know, self tape the other day, um, never ends. Never, never think it ends. No one's doing well except Tom Cruise and he doesn't think he's doing well. Um, put this like in a graphic and back of me, the struggle never ends.

I couldn't agree more. It is. And you have to, you have to change. Like don't think it's going to end. That's exactly right. If you think that it's going to get better at a certain point, stop thinking that because it's never going to stop. It's like quitting smoking. The cravings never end. You're never going to, you're always going to want a cigarette. Yep. You just can't have one.

If you have one, you're going to have a pack and then you're going gonna want a cigarette. You just can't have one. If you have one, you're gonna have a pack and then you're gonna get a carton and then you're gonna be going to the doctor and they're gonna be doing an x-ray and you're gonna be shitting yourself all over again. By the way, I say this whenever someone brings up smoking, do you know what percentage of smokers get lung cancer? 10 to 15%.

It's not that high. Okay, no, please, I'm over it. It's not that high. I'm never doing it, but I'm over it. You think it's 80 percent, it's not. I gotta get back to the story. So this is a really good thing about like holding yourself accountable immediately

to not have like weirdness with people, you know? And that gives you an ease. So I was a cop on this TV show and I was so rude to this director. For no reason. I have no idea why. It was like season seven of this TV show, and I was just being rude. I was being a dick. I couldn't even tell you why. I was hungover.

I don't know. I was a jerk. And I was, like, telling them what to do and what I wouldn't do, and I was giving them a hard time. Mm-hmm. I often thought about what a dick I was to that director. Just generally. Yeah, I was a dick. Did no one said anything?

No one said, you're an asshole to that guy. I don't think so. It was just a thing you were aware of. Anyway, two years ago, just two years ago, I saw her in a coffee shop with her husband and I recognized her and I felt sick seeing her. I was like, oh my God, that's the person I was super rude to Neil. I swear to God, I walked right up to her and I went, Hey, and she was like, Oh,

hi, hi. And you could tell it was awkward. She said, this is my husband. I went, hi. I said, I right in front of the husband in the coffee shop, I said, I'm in love with you. I said, if in love with you. I said of your phone spirit. Trying to go to Oakland. I was in a terrible place in my life when I was so rude to you on that show. It's something that I really like I think about it. It makes me

cringe. It gives me I lose sleep over it. I was I was a monster. I don't know why I was like that. I let me know if I can ever over it. I was a monster. I don't know why I was like that. Let me know if I can ever make it up to you. I don't think I can, but I'm just so sorry. And I did it in front of her husband and everything. It was crazy. And then I walked out and I was like,

I can't tell you how amazing it felt just doing that. You know? That's so funny. And I don't have any weirdness with her, you know? It's so funny. Did she acknowledge it? Like, oh, I remember. Oh, thank you. Yeah.

Did she try to play it down or? I gotta tell you, Neil, this is how self-centered I am. It wasn't even about, it was about me at that point. I'm sorry, dude. It was about it keeping me up at night, you know? I don't even recall her reaction. I really got out of there. I was too embarrassed. But it felt clean, like you said what you had to do,

and you felt like, OK, this is no longer a thing that you want to be. Yeah, is that self-centered of me to make it about me? That's all right. Don't worry about it. Sorry. Let's be honest. What most people really want for the holidays is to see their favorite people more often.

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be alive that this is a product I can use. It's so cool. You know, being an adult has its high points. Like for instance, one day a week, I only eat sugar. Sundays, sugar day. I only eat sugar. I might throw a protein in there just so I don't die, but sometimes I don't. That's the fun of being an adult but it's not all fun. You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner every freaking night except Sundays, you know, sugar night and make doctors appointments. For that one there's ZocDoc. It's the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare

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There's a cheap, you're cheap, which I really like. sick. Try it now and then go to zocdoc.com slash near. You're there's a cheap, uh, you're cheap, which I really like. Oh yeah. Um, I don't spend money on myself. It's really funny. Um, um, my wife is someone who's, um, spends money on herself and I just don't do it. I just, uh, don't know what it is. Went through a couple of things for you. Uh, yeah, my wife does buy things for me. Do you want them?

No, I don't even want them. I don't like things. I don't even need them. I don't really either. I'm not a car person. Nope. When I fly, as you know, as we mentioned earlier, I fly as cheaply as I possibly can when I travel.

You are probably, if you pay for your own ticket, it's economy. Back, way back of the plane. I mean, not only economy, middle seat. As close to the bathroom as possible, that's your rule? Whatever is the least expensive, that's what I will purchase. And it, I do have to, I had to go to a wedding

with my wife to Florida, and I gotta buy first class seats for her. To her, oh. She was married to John Stamos. I got to treat her right. Mr. First Class. And, um, it pains me to no end. It's really tough, but I do it because I enjoy being married. Do you fly, you'll be on the same flight and you'll fly.

That has happened. That has happened. She'll fly. That has happened. No, uh, this last time we flew, we both flew first class, but I reminded my wife of it frequently, frequently and often. And enjoy that chicken. Do you enjoy first class or doesn't everybody doesn't make a difference? Okay.

So you do enjoy it. It's not like I don't indulge in myself. I'm really, uh, like I do like really like obsessive things. Like I go through my apps that I pay for and I cancel them. I don't indulge in myself, I'm really, like I do really obsessive things, like I go through my apps that I pay for and I cancel them if I don't use, especially music apps or radio apps or things, I'm like, oh, and I think to myself,

I'm not gonna pay that 399 a month, I'm not gonna do it, and I. I, not kidding, I downgraded Netflix. So did I. Just to give you a sense of how cheap I am. Yeah. They provide me with a lot of, and I'm like, well, I'm not,

I don't need the, I don't need the high, it doesn't, my 4K, I don't use the 4K, it doesn't make a difference. I think it's also being in this business, you're faced with abject unemployment. Yes. At any time. And it's so funny. January in your case, correct?

Yeah. Yeah. And you have to be cool with it. You have to, it's so funny. You gotta be down with the unemployment. You can't be afraid of it. I've been with the same manager all the time. I got to give him a shout out. Michael Rotenberg. I've been with him since the 90s. Love him. In my more frightened youth, I was in a TV show that got abruptly canceled and he took me out to dinner and he went, listen, I know you're freaked out. I know you're upset. I'm sure I was like cycling when I was talking to him. And he went, but you got to figure out a way to make this the fun part. The unemployment basically. It really stuck with me. He said, if you can change your mindset and make this the fun part. The unemployment, basically. It really stuck with me.

He said, if you can change your mindset and make this part, the fun part of the business, I'm telling you there'll be no end to how far you can take this and that really. So now I try to go to a contrary action, which is I'm scared, I'm losing a job. Wait a minute. This is the fun. How do I make this the fun part?

How do you, uh, when you recognize you're going down a dark sort of hole, you try and, uh, you try and recognize it and do things to get out of it, do a contrary action, do something that gets you out of that mindset. Um, try to, it's so funny, this business too, you can't really chase something aggressively, you know? I've been hounding you for years to get on blocks.

So far I even had it. It's almost like wooing, like courting someone. You can't like come on strong. You have to like, it's almost like you have to be a cat. The thing I was thinking of, you're the one who said it. Fuck, I can't, you were doing a Broadway show eight years ago, I was doing three mics in New York. Yeah, I came to see you. We're walking up Broadway.

And you said that you had started a play and you hadn't really done much Broadway. And you said, Broadway actors are like cats. And I never heard anyone categorize. And I was like, what do you mean? He go, you can't walk up to them. You have to hold your own and let them come up to you. And it's, I've said it 15 times since talking about different people, because it's such a great analogy. It's crazy. It's crazy. And I do have cats. I love cats.

Yeah. My girlfriend likes them. Oh God, they're great. But I personally don't like them. But, cats, cats. Yeah. Oh, come on, Neil, you got to love them. I just, they, they're great. But I personally don't like them, but. Cats. Cats, yeah. Oh, come on Neil, you gotta love them. I just, they seem endlessly curious and freaked out by everything they find. No, you know what? Hand feed them. They'll be your little pussies.

Hand feed them. Now we're talking. The thing I was gonna say is, the other thing about being old is you've seen everything come and go. And so you've seen so-and-so is the hottest and then he, they're not, or the biggest, you can't imagine a world in which everyone isn't obsessed with X. And then it just, everything fades. Yeah.

And the fact that you're like, all right, so I'm not working in January and I'm gonna go go-karting or whatever you're gonna do. Yeah, I am fortunate enough to have a spouse who earns a pretty good living. So it's not a financial thing. So I do have that luxury. I do want to say it is really fun doing it with somebody else. I was going to ask that. Oh man. It's so fun doing it with somebody else.

I can't explain it. Cause it contextualizes. Cause the lows aren't that low. Right. And the highs are fun, but not that high. Like it's, I can't explain it. It's like, it's not that not that serious. And also longevity. And we're just so pleasantly surprised.

My wife is really quite successful now. My wife's on a show, Star Trek, um, Strange New Worlds on Paramount Plus. It's doing really well. How many seasons? Four or five. Great. It's going.

Is she, like, famous everywhere, or is it, like, the sort of, like, people... Because famous are regional now. No. Or, like like she'll go somewhere and be incredibly famous and then yeah I don't know. I don't even think we think about fame. What is it? Like it's just I mean more people yeah not at you but also what is fame anymore like that's what I mean what is it likes what is it no one knows I mean what is fame we don't care. We like to...

I want to be on a set where Rob Reiner comes up and says, keep doing that. It's never gonna happen again. You don't know that. I don't know how to tell you this. Now, with someone who'll do it as a bit... Are we coming to a close? Feels like.

I do want to say one last thing. Go. This isn't gonna work out. You're gonna be back at school. Feels like I do want to say one last thing go This isn't gonna work out you're gonna be back at school I got O'Connell again You're supposed to have it, supposed to have it real, my man All you have to do is open, open up your hand, my man