Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Mark Normand

Episode Date: March 16, 2023

Neal Brennan interviews Mark Normand (We Might Be Drunk) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. Mark's Blocks: 00:00 Intro 2:55 Married 7:56 Group Bombing 11:20 Strange Upbringing 18:57 OCD 20:48 Bedwetter 26:58 Drinking 27:23 Anxiety 34:21 Guilt 37:35 Alone 40:31 Dad 43:42 Hates Being Shown Things 46:05 Confrontation 50:10 Obligations 51:47 Sleeping Pills 59:48 Can't Think https://nealbrennan.com for tickets to Neal's tour Brand New Neal Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle YouTube Subscribe: https://bit.ly/2Lf6yvE Audio Subscribe: https://link.chtbl.com/blocks?sid=yt SPONSORS: BetterHelp: https://betterhelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first month Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hey! You know I'm on tour right now, so come see me. There's still tickets available for London, Nashville. Doing this off the dome right now, just improvising cities that I remember that there's tickets in. New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, Atlanta, there's a few tickets left. Baltimore, we added a show, so there's tickets. Philly's almost sold out. New York's almost sold out. Boston, we added a show. We added a show in Chicago. Portland, there's some tickets available, so we added a show. San Francisco, we added a show. We added a show in Chicago. Portland, there's some tickets available. So we added a show.

San Francisco, we added a show. LA, some tickets still available. So come see me. Go to neilbrennan.com for tickets. It's a funny show. It will be funny. That's what Paul Mooney used to say. He would pitch an idea and he would go,

it will be funny. Hey everybody, I'm Neil Brennan and I have a Netflix special called Blocks It will be funny! comedian and he's got what he got you got a half hour on netflix and another hour maybe coming out hours coming out soon and you got comedy central cup what he got up on comedy half hour hour youtube hour two and a half we're five hours into this 13 late nights that no one cared about late nights interesting on which which late night for fallon eight con eight, Conan, and a Colbert, and a Corden. Great. Congratulations. Thanks, thanks.

Good for your mom to see. Yeah. Your mom, I mean. Someone said that they just did a late night show, and they said it was like going to the Magic Castle, meaning it's just like going back in time. So anyway, Mark uh is my guest today mark norman hello mark norman hey good to be here have a way to figure this out in terms of noise

making oh yeah i've known you at least a decade right yeah you were always nice to me i appreciate i would ask to do your show at west hollywood and you would let me do it and i was terrified to send that facebook message yeah that's how long ago this was facebook we're well mark the thing i like about you is you write jokes you like comedy i love i might be rivaling you on nerd shit any joke you quoted today earlier i knew it he has a podcast called we might be drunk and we we're going back and forth for like, remember that joke or this joke? No one likes, I talked to Convo, I'm like, you know that Simpsons episode? They're like, I never caught it.

What about that Seinfeld show? I never saw Seinfeld. What about that rock, Bigger Blacker? They're like, I never, I saw Tambourine. You're like, what? Yeah. You didn't see Bigger Blacker? Chappelle used to call me SNL historian Neil Brennan.

Oh, there you go. Because I just knew all I just knew the sketches. Yeah, we like it. Eventually it comes in handy. Yeah, not on dates. I didn't dry up my snatch like Monty Python. References. Although you just got married.

Yeah, I had to. Go on. Well, I'm just joking because I'm not great on a date. Yeah. I'm a mess. Would you ever just bomb horribly or was it just bad chemistry it was a lot i was pretty i could be charming but again i would have to keep a cap on the real me and then when that came out it was over but i could

get like a good hour and a half two hours of like being charming being funny being on and then then it was over you had a great observation on the podcast we did earlier saying that charm is makeup for men yes which is a great fucking observation oh thanks thanks yeah it's the same as you know when you're like you want to go out and the girl's like i don't want to get all dolled up it's the same with us you want to go to this party i don't want to get all i don't want to speak loud and smile a little bit exactly exactly oh what booster did you get did you get the concerta or the bravada or breva i don't know all right so we've always been nice to you but i'm happy to see you do well because it's like it's justice oh you doing well it's just like you know what i mean like oh this is justice like

like all like sebastian or like nate or it's that wasn't your multiple late night appearances no it was just like basically writing writing the joke and telling them and enough people saw it was like all right i like this guy that's very nice but it's not easy no it's a lot of work and it's a lot of failing and that's what seinfeld said about you that's i forgot to tell you he said uh there's like eight guys or gals who just tell straight jokes it's not like you know a thing you're not doing a sitcom and jokes it's just jokes and that's so hard to keep up for your whole life yeah there's like eight people who can do it and he's put you in there so that was what i forgot to tell you fuck you fuck everyone in the no yeah um uh okay so you sent me your list of blocks i and i haven't told a lot of people this so this could

get a little small see it's uh it's pretty outstanding this is about as deep a dive as we've done here i had my wife sitting next to be helping me with this so she was like say this well that's what i'm curious one of the points of the show is I want to know what it's like to be other people. Do you know what I mean? Sure. What's it like inside your body? It ain't pretty. It's the whole, every day is a fight.

Yeah. But I have fun too. No, sure. We laugh. We laugh. I mean, I told somebody after an ayahuasca ceremony i don't like to talk about i talk about it constantly that we have cable in our heads meaning we have like whatever we have the internet we've had the internet in our heads since we were little

right like we have very good people who synapses and and uh associations and memories and and it's very entertaining we're used to it yeah but we're lucky that's true in that regard some comics are stuck on fox news and some are stuck on history and some are stuck on tlc yeah yeah you're right we we have all of it and that's what twitter is just scrolling through different opinions a fight video yeah pubic hair whatever it is so yeah that's our whole brain yeah that's what it's been like yeah slot machine of death and terror yeah and like that's hilarious and that's horrible like but it's just a it's constant yeah from like i don't know about you but from early in my life i remember being being like, oh, that's this. And then you'd say people and people are like,

and I'm like, yeah, you didn't think that? Of course. It's part of my life. All right. So let's go through some blocks. Usually there would be more interpersonal shit. I'm nervous. The funny thing, that's exciting.

Do you go to therapy? I do. Okay. I'm a big, big advocate. All right. We'll get into that. I always say, if you're going to go to therapy i do okay i'm a big big advocate all right we'll get into that um i always say if you're gonna go to therapy you have to tell on yourself yeah it doesn't help if you're right if you're like trying to do pr right for like you know trying to romance your therapist okay not literally but trying to you know what i mean um by the way it's side note therapy so i

went to there was for a long time a certain therapist for like maybe three years and she was like super nice and empathetic one time she cried about like just something i was telling her and then she stopped doing therapy because she made a bunch of money on her own fans. I'm kidding. She made a bunch of money on a side business. It's like a bad comic. Yeah. And quit doing therapy. And she called me and was like, yeah, I thought of you the other day. I was like, Neil Brennan.

I haven't thought of him in a long time. It was just a funny thing of putting yourself in perspective. Yeah. It's a job. I of putting yourself in perspective. Yeah. For the, it's a job. I guess so. For them. Like they all are committed and they study and they're like,

they think about you and their dog, all that stuff. But once they stop, it's still like a job. Yeah. You know what I mean? Damn. So anyhow, block number one.

Oh boy. I have a superpower where whenever I say something to a group, no one has a response. Every time like clockwork. Tell me more about this because this is such a funny goddamn setup. At the cocktail party, you know, there's a semicircle going on of six people or whatever. And we're talking this or that. And then I'm like, oh, I'll say my thing when there's a moment.

And I say it, whatever it is. And is it risky? Not to me. I don't think it is. But it's just is jarring to people or they can't think of what to say or they've been trained. Like, don't touch that. Like, I wouldn't say I'm not going like the Holocaust didn't happen. I'm not saying that, but I'll say something.

You'll say that on your blog. Yeah, exactly. I have a tattoo of that. that but i'll say something you'll say that on your blog yeah exactly i have a tattoo of that but i'll just say something i'll throw it out there like i want to be included i want to partake and just so what oh is there dip over there like it'll it'll shift real quick after i talk that's so funny i don't know what it is i wish i had a good example but uh you know like you go is your wife mad afterward no she's cool that's why we're together because she's like i saw that that was bad and she'll try to help yeah which is so nice and that's love right there but whoo it's ugly you know like i'll be like we'll be talking about a tv show and i'm like hey you

know that actor uh he got in trouble for diddling kids and to me I'm not like I'm just saying a fact I'm not condoning diddling kids but they're like alright are those cocktail weenies done you know or whatever so it'll just ruin it this is the because we have cable there's a better metaphor than cable that's an old reference but I can entertain

and you I'm betting you can entertain a level of darkness, death, oh yeah, the fun pedophile trivia. Yeah. Horrible board game. Yeah. For most people. We love it.

Yeah. So that's the thing you have to almost like not dumb it down but you have to almost be mainstream yes for like a certain audience but in my mind i'm saving this boring dull conversation with like this isn't this is good stuff yes i'm giving you good meat to talk about they don't like talking about that stuff. I know. Which is so strange. Because we like the news.

Right. Well, they like Will Smith slaps Chris Rock. They don't like Ukraine. Right. They like the dumb news. They like the puppy saved the senior center. Right. But they don't want like hardcore.

I guess so. here's my question about what this is forever or this is adulthood probably adulthood you know because that's when you really have to be like have airs about you and we have to be respectable and all that so as a kid you just fart and it was fine but now you can't really do that so i'm going hey this is some hot goss i'm throwing at you here. How about this? And I thought people go, really? Yeah.

Whoa. So then it's even more of a drop because I assume it's going to kill and it gets zero. And it is. I'm a party shutter down. So I like comics. Well, I actually want to talk about your childhood in that you grew up pretty strangely. Very strange upbringing. Tell me, for people who don't know much about you.

Do the CliffsNotes, New Orleans, Treme, which is like right outside the French Quarter, Black Neighborhood. And like the series, it was very slow. Yeah. Are you kidding? God, that series was slow. I was like, here we go. Fuck! There's someone shooting. David Simon, I'm God, that series was slow. I was like, here we go. Fuck!

There's so much shooting. David Simon, I'm begging you to speed this up. I know. I was shocked. Put a gun in the scene. Hey, I'm begging you. Something. But yeah, so dad got a wild hair up his ass in 1989 and bought this dilapidated mansion.

And I'm talking mansion, like wings of a house. Tremeza, New Orleans. And it's like a gothic, I'm assuming, like a gotated mansion. And I'm talking mansion, like wings of a house. Tremeza, New Orleans. And it's like a Gothic, I'm assuming like a Gothic mansion. Exactly. It was called the Dufour Baldwin House. It was probably the hotel, then a brothel,

all these kinds of crazy stories. And it was, you know, dilapidated. So we had no running water. We had no lights. You know, we'd have like a mechanics light hanging in your bedroom. And you plug that into an extension cord and that went into one of the outlets.

Did your dad, why was he doing it? I think he grew up poor and i think this was like his he's like i'm gonna fix this house up we're gonna live in new orleans and live like kings had he ever fixed anything up before never that's so funny i know and they were both kind of like these ambulance chasing lawyers like they're good people and all that, but they were dreamers. And so the house was barely running, and we had duvetyne on this giant window flat. We had termite. I mean, the roaches. It was crazy. And I had friends.

How many kids? Me and my brother. Two kids. He's older? Older brother. Perfect son. He went off to do great things. I tell dick jokes.

But we eventually, they couldn't. They were working so much to kind of try to keep pumping money into the house. So they made, the back of it was, they restored that. That took forever. That became a bed and breakfast. This is pre-Airbnb. That's so funny that the minute they fix up a section of it, they're like, not so fast, boys. Exactly.

We're renting this motherfucker out. Right, that's the nice part. If you guys have have 95 a night each we'd love to have you but yeah i was allowed to change the sheets and restock the mini fridges what a privilege i know but then we they were gone so much that they needed kind of a nanny so they hired this big black guy named enos great guy but he did burlesque at night he was a transvestite is what you called him then. Cross-dresser. And he wore high heels, and he was sweeping

with a Walkman on and a wig and a boa. You know, he was all in. And he taught me how to... Now, this is the sitcom about your life, or this actually... I've been pitching this for years. No one will buy it. It's too dark. But it was so scary. I got beat up all the time. My bike got stolen, I don't know, eight times.

Cars got stolen. We'd know eight times uh cars got stolen we tried to go to school the cars would be gone like it was crazy and uh did you ever say like why are we doing that would your parents argue about it they argued i think in privacy but i was so young i just thought that's what you do and i go to the suburbs to visit my friends it was paradise bikes in the front lawn orange slices and out above ground pool heaven two lawyers yeah wow but they bit off more they can chew with this house i think and they were trying they were trying but i just remember my mom whipping up pancakes and that was for the the breakfast guests you know i had a i don't think i had an oatmeal but uh just crazy time

and enos taught me how to fist fight. She makes it near your head, like not so fast. Yeah, exactly. He taught me how to drive a stick, how to shave, how to dance a little with a girl and all that. So I learned how to be a man from this guy in a wig. And then one time, a famous story, these guys stole my bike. This is what Ron DeSantis is trying to fight, right? Trying to make sure this doesn't happen to another generation.

He was enos actually and uh i got my bike so i ran home crying and he goes we're getting that bike and i was like i'm not going out these guys were tough street kids and he went and we drove up to there we drove around the neighborhood found the kids they were fucking with my bike like fixing it and changing it and he went out there in high heels and wig and yelled at them they're calling them all kinds of shit and he took the bike back so ballsy that no one did anything and it was like this is what a man is this is like the toughest guy i've ever seen and he's in a wig great so it's a fun fun childhood save this story for when you get canceled for something how everything you've learned is from

a transgender person uh are you in touch with enos he died he was killed uh he hooked up with a guy who thought it was a woman and then they were fooling around and the guy flipped and shot him this is southern justice you know did you ever have like a logical argument with your parents like what the fuck is this not even saying it but did you think it not really actually because it's just so normal it's just like you go to bed here you wake up here you eat here i never really i hated it and like we had break-ins i walked in on a few robberies we had this crazy house alarm and we would hear woo woo woo and it wasn't it wasn't anus no you're in your bed at like two in the morning it's like a nine-year-old like oh there's someone rooting around downstairs and then dad's going down with the bat you know and you're like

this could be it i don't know what's gonna happen and then you go back to sleep and you go to school i mean it was wild well that's another thing i like about you is is uh you i had like i got like breaks more or less like meaning like big like chapelle obviously give me what i'm saying like my brother's a comedian i was going to school up here i I got into school up here. And then, and then I started working the door of the comedy club and flyers and all that stuff.

And like struggled in that. But I feel like your struggle was my struggle was like three years, four years. Whereas yours was like, well, didn't you have nine brothers or something? That's no picnic. No,

no, no. I'm not saying that I like that my life's been like a picnic, but I'm saying your... Career-wise. Yeah, like once you started doing... I just see you... All right, so you leave...

Did you go to Tulane? I went to LSU, failed out, had to go to Baton Rouge Community College, then graduated from this shitty college called Southeastern in the middle of nowhere, Louisiana. Great. I had to get a degree. My parents made me. And then, so you could open a b&b um and did you did your parents stop once

you guys left what did they what happened to the mansion well now it gets dark so i was at a mardi gras parade i was 14 i was a was a freshman in high school at a parade, drinking, doing whatever. Came home, 30 cop cars, sirens going. I'm like, oh, shit. And my mom's crying. Dad's talking to the police. Brother's crying. Two guys broke in, put guns to the parents. I had tied them up, tied up my brother and got all the keys and the jewelry and the credit card, stole everything, took the cars, and then they moved. Your parents moved. That's what did it, yeah. So then they moved to this nice... How much did you pay the burglars? I'm kidding. Then you moved to a nicer place?

Yeah, we moved to a nice neighborhood, but then I went to college pretty close after that. Okay, so parents, nice people. How do they look back at that period i think they were like wow that was crazy huh like you know whoa it's almost like when a car almost hits you yeah i almost died but also the car hit us yeah like it didn't all it sounds like it like was a bad time yeah yeah it was wild uh yeah i don't know we never talk about it never comes up they're not they're not open uppers they see where i get it okay well that okay and then and i couldn't wait to get out

like i was new orleans is a great town and fun for a bachelor party and whatnot but not a great place to grow up okay well the the next one is weird ocd rituals that if i don't do daily i feel tons of guilt that's's a whole other thing. Well, that's what I'm saying. Tell me about the OCD. I got some problems with guilt. So I got to do a bunch of shit or I just just horrid guilt torments me. Well, there is.

Do you have a humility that I really like? Like that's admirable. But where's the guilt from? I guess being lazy and... But where'd you get the values? Who taught you the values? Well, my parents were kind of workaholics. And I guess maybe that instilled in me...

They may have just not wanted to come home. Yeah, that too. That too. I don't know. I never really asked myself that. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Thing. You know that I'm constantly talking about therapy.

I kind of won't stop talking about it. We talk about it again in this episode. I'm like a therapy dealer. I'm like a modality dealer because I've dealt, I've experienced pretty much every type of therapy a human being can endure. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online. It's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist

and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Go to B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot C-O-M slash N-E-A-L to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Neil. 10% off your first month. You're gonna be better you're gonna be better when do you remember ocd shit starting well i was a crazy bedwetter and they say that comes from trauma so that was probably the break-ins and whatnot um but i so you're a bedwetter late all the way four till 14 13 14 yeah uh so it was you know it was a problem beat on a few girlfriends literally yeah yeah as an adult no well drinking and then it kind of kicks back in like on a one-night stand you get blackout drunk and you wet the bed fucking fantastic very embarrassing can you walk me through one of

those yeah i mean you if you're dating her it's not so bad but if it's a one-night still not great not great clear but a lot of, I change the sheets. I pay for dry cleaning. I usually get flowers. And then I try to never see him again, just out of shame. When you wake up, tell me what it's like to be you, your eyes open. What's the sequence? It's a nightmare.

Because there's already a weirdness with a one night stand. So now it's like, oh, I'm wet. And you always wake up before her because you're more wet. And then you have to be like, should I say she did it? You have to have a few moments of like, how do I get out of this? And then you got to just face it. So I go, ah, I peed. Sorry.

Ah, shit. They must be like, you did what? Yeah. Yeah, it's bad. One time I fell asleep with a girl spooning on a couch. So I just was peeing into her ass, basically. And the couch was leather, so it pooled.

Oh, it was brutal. I never went back. But I got to say, if it's the kind of couch I think it was, it was fine. Just wipe that thing down. Pleather. Yeah, you're ready to go.

Exactly. This podcast is brought to you by pleather. Very humiliating. But luckily it was a boozy time. It's New Orleans. It's the South. It's college. So it wasn't that crazy,

but it was still brutal. No, I'm sure a lot of people were peeing into other people on love seats. Now... R. Kelly. Okay. Well, I mean, I guess people do pee that didn't weren't bedwetters do you sarah silverman there's a long line of bedwetters sarah's uh book was called bedwetter exactly and it's rare for women and um okay so you started the ocd the bed what did you ever have to go see a therapist or anything for the bed

wedding? I know it was the nineties and late eighties. So I don't think that was, that wasn't really an option. There weren't any therapists until 2011 in Louisiana. There might not have been. Yeah. There might've been one guy in a seersucker going,

I do declare bed wedding. You might be gay, you know? So, uh, it was dark, dark dark days but it builds comedy you know and i think a lot of this ocd stuff comes from like a low self-worth like who do you think you are you don't have to do these things who do you think you are to be able to get to do comedy and all these great shows but but what all right so what ocd do you have now uh well when i was a kid it was mostly like I had figurines, and they had to be a certain way, and if somebody touched them, I would snap.

What were the figurines of? I had Star Wars and stuff like that. And then now I have to do a certain amount of push-ups every morning, and if I don't, I'm doing push-ups in a bathroom in a bar. How many? I'm up to 80 straight. Well, it's funny because that sounds like like a like a workout plan yeah well i've kind of channeled my ocd into something i can actually

is good for me yeah that's like that's the most efficient that's like it's like uh turning the stove on and off doesn't help me so i'm like wind power or something it's like using yes exactly using your ocd for good right right in a row yeah yeah well it's been years of just doing them so i'm like oh today i'll try to go to 72 and i'll go to 73 and now so today you did 80 80 yeah diamond diamond push-ups ladies and gentlemen is that the only one you have right now no i got it well now i've added a few more go you got to go ahead because the mornings are easy for a comedian because you wake up you kind of have nothing to do so now i i'm like who do you think you are you're like what ocd habit should i take on so now i picked up a few in the afternoon where i do

i have to do 30 pull-ups on a scaffolding. Fuck, that's funny. I did them earlier before you got there. 30 pull-ups on a scaffolding. I'll literally leave the cellar. I'll do a set, go out, find a scaffolding

that no one can see me, do 30 pull-ups and go back to the cellar and be like, oh boy, I got a good slice of pizza. Do you have to go to City Hall and see who's doing construction?

Zip code Google searches yeah yeah i have an app for for contracts um so what's funny is your hands are gonna be filthy at that oh yeah i go wash them that's not a problem nah i can handle that yeah um these are pull-up 30 pull-ups pull-ups. Are they diamond pull-ups? Like, what are you... They're this way, but they're pretty ugly. I'm like, you know, I'm still... This is a newer OCD thing I've put on myself. How old's new? Six months. Okay, but you can do 30 in a row. A shaky 30.

I'm going to pitch a show called American OCD Ninja Warrior. I'd like you to come on. Okay, so 30 pull-ups, 80 push-ups. What else? I got to do squats as well. Are you just not trying to get in shape?

This just sounds like a guy who decided on the new year to get in shape. Well, I think a lot of guys that go to the gym, they have a plan. I'm doing this in the morning or else I can't function.

Your world falls apart. Yeah, exactly. Okay, how many, what's your squat? Well, this is where it or else I can't function. Your world falls apart. Yeah, exactly. Okay. How many, what's your squat? Well, this is where it gets weird. This is excellent. So I do 30 kind of easy ones. And then I do 20 where I really have to straighten my legs,

go all the way down, straighten my legs. Weights or no weights? No weights. And then I do 20 where I jump and do them. Okay. Do you open with the 20 jumpers? No, I close with the 20 jumpers. Because i close with the 20 jumpers because it's harder yeah after the first set yeah and you don't know no no easy buckets for you yeah you got that right okay so again pretty good could be as far as ocd goes could be worse but i

think that's why i drink so much because i'm like i gotta take a break i gotta like cut take the edge off of all this shit okay well, well, yeah, you drink. We might be drunk. You drink. How often do you get drunk? Three times a week. Probably five, right? So if you know anything about alcohol, that means five. I'm also 6'3 on

dating apps. That's a big one, guys. And married. So, anxiety. That's the thing. Because I don't drink right i don't need to i don't have anxiety i have depression so like and i don't have very much of that anymore either so what i'm curious about is i have empathy for have you ever done the calculus on is this the best way to alleviate ocd and anxiety is or or would like a medication be better or would weed be better or would have you tried anything else can't do weed not good i'm a mess

on weed just go inward that's exactly i think i've heard you talk about this i like it's like you want to see a person fold in on himself oh my god i'm not even there same i go origami i'm a mess uh but i'm scared of medication i just i don't know if you're on it i'm not trying to zing anybody but i just worry about relying on something so to me these stupid squats in a in a bathroom sometimes are i'd rather do that than pop a pill do you have any more ocds to go over i'm sure there's several more i'm sure there's more i mean look at this you know like i don't need i could just you know write these in my phone but i like the paper and i like knowing that they're all with me so there's all kinds of weird shit i i you know i don't need to cuff my pant but i cuff them i only have one pair of jeans. I got all kinds of stuff.

How often do you wash them? What year is it? I'd say, I don't know, twice a year. You do the, so you, they don't smell? Nah, give them a whiff if you want. What's the freezer thing? I'm good. You stick them in the freezer, it like kills the, yeah, look it up.

Really? Yeah, you stick them in the freezer fridge you can do it every night i'll do that yeah um uh it's fun for the kids in the summer yeah um i put the uh umbro shorts in the freezer with no underwear baby that'll wake you up talk about ocd am i right um okay so there's that those are your jokes man that's really something yeah how many jokes are on each one of those oh so many and i'd say maybe in this whole thing like nine have worked you know but like this is a this is that first of all great perf that's about my hit to oh okay miss ratio is like a pile of jokes that high and like good nine really i mean i feel better it's yeah it's

not i'm not i always say to people like i'm not a genius let me be clear about this like i need to try god it's so nice to hear yeah einstein said i'm not a genius i just stay with problems longer and i feel the same way about comedy i'll work on this bit for 10 years if I have to yeah that's what when I did Chappelle's Mark Twain thing I got off did great and I got off and Keenan Thompson was like how did you do that I was like I tried like literally I tried everybody else was

like I'm gonna do Dave's approach I'm like no I've seen I've worked with Dave I'm not that's not that can't be my approach yeah and I have no shame about that i wish it i wish it were like a higher ratio but like i don't know i'm not i'm willing to do the work so what the fuck do i care and it's probably better than it was when you started obviously so you have grown yeah it is something but it's it's hell it's so much failure but yeah so this is all

shit uh got a whole thing about jews run the media in hollywood but yet you'd think by now they'd put a jew in a marvel movie you know there's no uh the circumciser or i mean like a jewish superhero like a jewish superhero not an actor you know the circumciser he's throwing bagels that that bombed you know so but then the ones that start working then i fold it and i go all right these are the ones to to work on right so that's what that is and that's how we're we got here yes and it's endless for years yeah yeah exactly um and okay so that's again pretty good ocd all right if you gotta have it what'm channeling bad ones like are there ones where your wife is like

dude we turn the stove off or you're so far past i have to i make i have ticks where i have to make noises now now we're getting a little too personal fuck i love it i do duck noises and then i have to whistle a certain way where at the house when randomly but i gotta get a couple in a day at the house when randomly but i gotta get a couple in a day fuck i had a girlfriend notice one time just so you're not alone on this that i when i go from room to room i do like sitcom transition music it's not ocd it's just like involuntary i don't even know I'm doing it. Yeah. And it might be a way to ease the tension of like I'm coming. Yes. So I don't have to be like, hello.

Like I come in like ba-ba-da-da-da-ba-da-da and then it eases. Now that I hear it, it sounds insane. No, it makes sense to me. When do you do the duck? Can you give it? I do it when I'm uncomfortable you know so i think comedians have a higher cringe meter like

we feel cringe faster than other people and so i think anything like you walking into a room is a normal thing but you feel weird doing it there's a cringe meter going i think it's the same with me uh you know you something, and you're like, oh, I feel stupid, so you make a duck noise. That's so great. What's the other one? I do a whistle. I go, and I just do that.

It's kind of like, hey, I'm in the room. I exist. When she comes in or when you're already there? Or when you walk into a room? When I walk in. And do you remember when it started? Oh, kid, just real young really young because my parents were always like they worked so hard that when they came home they're like

leave us alone and i think i felt invisible so i was like i got either i gotta have a great line to get a laugh or else make a noise or something oh it's fucking great yeah like colin quinn when he sees you goes hello neil Because he feels silly saying hello. Yeah. Yeah, and it's the same thing. Yeah, he has a lot of tics like that. Oh, yeah. Ha, ha, ha.

Okay, anything else on the OCD department? I think that's about it. And this may have started the whistling. Oh, all childhood. A lot of childhood. When the duck started? Yeah, that was really young. That was really young.

And you think it's about attention? I think so, yeah. And I can make a duck noise, and that's the only noise I can do. So I was like, I'll do that. That'll be my thing. Is your goal to quit, or do you not even care? I don't even notice I'm doing it at this point. And your wife probably doesn't either.

Nah, she's cool with it. My ex hated whistling, though, so that got weird. Are you like, you were doing like a note that's not whistling that's what i said live get her on the phone that's not that's bullshit yeah um that's what i hit her and what well that's the the uh the guilt is the what's interesting to me crazy because if if you're saying it's because i'm doing these great rooms you weren't doing great rooms when you were a kid in fact you weren't doing any rooms from what i can hear janitor i was an open mic or for you but i'm saying when you grew up there was duvetyne walls like that's not i don't know if that qualifies as a room so what i'm saying is what's the guilt part i think it's just

like you think you're you can just go around not working out you gotta work out but right but why you whistle like oh where's that from well there's no guilt with the whistle you've always been in decent shape though from what i could tell that one's from the ocd i think nah i think it predates the ocd oh okay where you've always been sort of fit. Fit, yeah. You skated. Big skater, yeah. Always running around.

So yeah, I don't know. But the whistling isn't much guilt. That's more of a tick. Got it. Just like, I gotta do this now. But if I don't whistle, I'm not like, oh, I missed the whistle. Have you done it on stage?

No. That's my own thing. I don't wanna, I wanna separate that. It's all you, by the way. Yeah, I guess you're right. But I don't talk about i want to separate that it's all you by the way yeah i guess you're right but i don't talk about myself at all in my act no what fine no but i'm saying like have you ever gone like but been bombing and done the duck maybe it's happened but it wasn't like a a big moment or anything or a whistling thing nah i never done that i keep work at work that's so funny keep your personality out of your act yeah but then like

i see sandler like that whole thing i'm like wow is that his duck is that his whistle and then he figured out a way to charm the pants off america with that because we all love that so i'm like is that his thing that he did he channel that into comedy was it's pretty brilliant he's supposed to come on here i'm i will ask him please yeah no i'm dying because i don't adam's like a bit of a locked vault yeah yeah in terms of like who like i i yeah it'll be fun i think oh yeah um we were talking earlier about how you you like you feel like you've had to change like getting married and you your wife wants changes or whatever yeah what were the changes

uh you know i gotta grow up a little like you know i was always like a wedding that's what are we doing that's dumb yeah she's like i want one i was like all right i'll do it so she's like it's important to me it doesn't matter about you right now and i was like all right so there's stuff like that where you're like and now a person's relying on you and what really did it was she had my back on a thing once and it i'd never had someone really have my back and i was like all right i'm marrying her that's really what did it never had a woman like fight for me yeah and uh or even a friend really coming to think about it but uh so that was huge i was like all right she'll she's loyal she'll stick with me forever

this is what's almost nice to have that moment we're like oh good yeah before they're even on the clock you're like okay this person exactly will defend me because that's a big one for me too is like i want if i think when i think about um growing up i always think about like being like sent to my room, some sort of incident. I'm crying, sent to my room and I'm just sitting there like, where the fuck is everybody? Like where the fuck is everybody? And I wonder if you,

you must have had that. Totally. You felt, I felt alone my whole life. And then someone having your back, you're like, Oh, this is a partner.

Oh really? Oh, was that in your vows? I did. I told her I didn't want to do vows but uh she wanted them so we did them privately and that was in there oh great yeah because again that's the cringe i can't say vows in front of other comedians it's too hard yeah fantastic fantastic that that's that i also like how by the way this isn't talking about this stuff isn't that bad oh really meaning no no i just can't imagine anyone cares it's interesting okay if people like you they're like oh i didn't know that if people don't know who you are you're a weirdo who grew up in a giant mansion right with workaholic parents

and duvetyne walls and whistling and making duck noises but wouldn't how how lucky are people now with this because wouldn't you love to see richard jenny or richard pryor or any other richard doing this i would fucking love it i would live that all we had was those on comedy cds remember those with woody allen i. I think Seinfeld did one. That's it. Yeah. Jerry's got, they both are good though. They're very good.

But I was listening to that like I'm on the edge of my seat. Yeah. It's like an hour. That's all you get. All right. Sometimes I'll say something horrible. Things I don't mean just out of boredom. Yeah.

When and what? Oh, you know. It's not related to the party no no no that's a whole another thing this is like intentional the party thing i thought was would hit this is like you know this is like uh god i'm like painfully bored i'm like angry about how boring boring this is i'm gonna go in on like like, let's open up Ferguson. You know, let's do like a Ferguson joke or a Holocaust joke or whatever. And people are like, Jesus. And I'm like, all right, all right. I needed that.

I'm back. So it's almost like cold water in your own face. Yes, exactly. Exactly. Well, here's a question I have. What if you don't do all your pull-ups and your squats and your push-ups? I'm a mess up here. What does that mean?

The anxiety goes way up. The guilt goes way up. And I'm just not. The guilt of who were you to be having a good life kind of thing? Hey, you can just skip this? Come on. I kind of have two people in my head, like the slacker and then like a drill sergeant. Yeah.

And the drill sergeant's going like, you missed push-ups i'm like come on i took it one day off like you take one you're gonna say that when you take another day off you're like ah so there's that going on so the drill sergeant's way louder i'll let it slide on a sick day but i don't like it and i rarely get sick i think because i'm almost like pushing well you got push-ups to do so if you don't get sick, I guess I'm like, what are you so... Where's the drill sergeant from? I don't know. He's in there. That's a great question.

Maybe my dad. I don't know. What was your dad like? He was scary. Scary, scary dad. You know, dad's home. It was that whole thing. Yeller, hitter? Yeller, temper. Not really. I think I got spanked a few times but

nothing crazy but i think he was just miserable i think he hated being a lawyer i think the house was coming down on him money all that the racial tension in the neighborhood um so i think uh he was he had a lot bubbling up was he like a regular yeller yeah yeah yeah and did you and a surprise yeller too like he would get mad we were like oh i didn't see that one coming right you know usually you're like oh dad's gonna be mad about that but this was like god damn it and you just sit next to him you're like whoa where'd that come from would he bang tables yeah yeah a lot of bad you know what's i like makes me like i hate the word trigger but a thing that makes me flinch is when people bang the sound of

uh cutlery hitting each other oh yeah i get like oh you had the scary dad yeah yeah yeah that'll it's like a it makes you skittish yeah yeah like family members stutters and like speech like just stuff from and it's all i think based on worrying about were you could you charm him yeah he was funny he was he was affable but you catch him in that wrong moment it was it was rough i mean the obvious question is like do you think you charmed him to get out of being screamed at i would try yeah and now it's weird he's on antidepressants, and he's like, hi. He's like Henry Winkler now. So funny.

And I'm like, whoa, hey, Dad, how are you? I'm almost kind of hesitant. And you're kind of like, bring the old guy back. A little bit, yeah, yeah. That's so funny, dude. All right, so, but you also feel the need to say something divisive or like a bomb thrower yeah for no and it's a little bit too of i think of a rebellion like i'm not allowed to say this who gives a shit come on right we're saying it oh is the world gonna end and then sometimes it does

but uh in the moment i'm like god and you know you ever seen that curb where he's like hey your wife's got nice tits he's like why would you say that he's like that took a risk that's how i feel i'm like i threw it out there i tried it does it ever work it must work sometimes i've gone on dates where i'm like well we should just fuck and they're like all right and then sometimes they're like what how dare you blah blah and so you're like all right i went for it yeah i go for it every now and then and do you do you know what brings the mood on or is it just a thing that happens it's usually boredom it's usually like kind of a boredom of like why am i being caged in what is this world

we're living in and it just kind of all just comes at me at once and i i burst out so you see a guy do a backflip off a roof at a house party into a pool you're like where the fuck did that come from that's kind of what it is for me i'm like i'm doing a backflip right now it might smash my head on the side of the coping but i'm going for it or their head or their head um either one as long as the head gets smashed yeah okay i hope to make it in the pool but you know yeah either one all right this is funny to me i hate being shown things oh you gotta see this new video you know this guy oh dude check that i'm like god i hate this because now i have to react and i know i'm not gonna like it well that's what i told ronnie chang like i don't like presence yes because i don't want to perform oh my god this is so good like i love this and i don't want it

right i generally speaking knew about it yep could have got it yeah exactly i'm doing this special and my reps are like we're coming by what do you want in agreement like don't bring me anything because then i'm gonna have to use energy for from the show to go, oh, a pillow or whatever. And then your jokes are going to bomb because you put too much weight on gratitude. But you remember doing Conan when people would come back? Like, how do you feel? You good? You're like, yeah, yeah, I'm good.

You're ruining me. Yeah. Like, leave me alone. Yeah. I don't want people. People don't come generally. Oh, that's better. I ask them not to come. Smart. Or like, don't want people i don't people don't come generally oh that's i asked them not to come

smart or like don't come backstage or but like i just can't i it's not helping me no not helping at all it's worse and then see me after we'll go get a bite or something we'll get a meal yeah you almost wish that there was a uh like a replica of like a the cellar the comedy store that the people that are normally there oh yeah like so you just be like all right i'm gonna go do my net like just quickly exactly do it so it's not so like ceremonial yes yes here's a big deal which is why weddings are i would at my own wedding i was in the i was in like a broom closet with three comics going like oh you see that clip or whatever you know like at my own wedding and people was in a broom closet with three comics going like, oh, did you see that clip or whatever?

At my own wedding, people were like, where's Mark? I could hear them outside. Where's Mark? And I was like, I'm in a tuxedo. What if someone texts you a link? That's okay because it's on my own terms and they don't have to watch me react. That's really what it is, them watching me watch it. I hate that.

What I've gleaned from doing eight of these and how everybody i've done is that we don't comedians in general do not like social expectations ah that's a good and we also don't like social obligations yep i hate that or and where are you on this confrontation hell horrible horror and i'm i bums me out how bad i am with it i feel like i'd have a better life if i stood up to a few bullies interesting and i didn't and it's still i get like a pang whenever i think about like oh you you coward maybe duck noise it out um do you, when you think about like, you still look back, is it because you don't think justice was served or you think you would have had a different life if you'd like, if I'd stood up to that person?

Yeah. Well, it's, it's a, it's a couple of things. One, if I stand up to them, I might lose and that's fucking humiliating. Then if I stand up to them, it might make it worse. And now then if i stand up to them it might make it worse and now i'm in a bigger confrontation yeah that's terrifying uh and but sometimes rarely it has turned out with a happy ending i had a guy i'm not gonna say who comic so mean to me when i started like unnecessarily mean weirdly mean picked on me insulted me the whole thing would heckle me during shows. And I was like, man, is this how comedy is? And he went to rehab, yada, yada. Years later, he wrote me this email,

like, I was jealous of you. I didn't know how to handle it. You wrote jokes that were better than mine and that bothered me. I was so mad at you, but I hate myself. And I was like, oh my God, I can't believe this. This is like everything I kind of maybe thought, but then I didn't want to believe because I'm like, oh, who's jealous of me, whatever. And it was a huge moment in my life seeing that. Could that be like a, you misinterpreted it thing? Meaning like, well, but if you make that as,

it's very easy to go like, when people go, oh, they're just jealous. Great. I still feel like shit. Yes, exactly. Oh, well, they are just okay right still that car splashed you well it was just driving it's on its way to somewhere i'm wet exactly exactly the fuck do you want me to do now i feel like that about a lot of cancel stuff people go he's

a millionaire i'm like well he has feelings still yeah he still has a human being and you're all this you're all you talk about is compassion but not for this yeah you know so that that irks me but yeah like there's still wetness so but that when he wrote that i was like totally forgiven you're a bigger man good for you but it it really helped me because you start you validate all your shitty feelings when a guy's doing that to you when a guy's so mean to you you're like yeah, yeah, I do suck. Ah, I knew I was a piece of shit,

you know? So when he, he came at me and did all that, I was like, I knew it. I do suck. And then when he wrote that, I was like,

maybe I don't suck as much as I thought. So it helped. Do you wish you'd said something back then though? I kind of do, but also it turned out for the best anyway. And I don't know if it would have helped either. I think he would have just doubled down probably. And are they,

are they all sort of in that area of like adult people? Yeah. I had a couple of kid things, but those are easy because you graduate and you never see the guy again. Yeah. Um, but the adult stuff is hard because now we're all online. Now they can attack you online.

So the internet has made it worse for sure. But, uh, I don't know. It's, it still it still happens it still hurts do you read comments and all that yeah if i'm i don't want to yeah i just love reading i'm kidding um i just have such a passion for reading yeah um no it's the way that app is set up like when if i want to look at like how many views it's gotten it's hard not to see the unlike the youtube studio app yeah you they'll like throw comments and they're like dude i just want numbers and they're like they don't like your fucking face

you're like i wanted number why is this here i know uh It would be like having a Fortune 500 looking at a profit sheet. Yeah. And then also like, you're ugly. You're like, why? Yeah, I have a big theory that that's why Elon bought Twitter. I think he was just like, I'm buying this thing. You can shit on me, but now at least I own it. I have a little control.

Right, I'm making money from it. Yeah. Not yet, but maybe someday. Maybe. money from it yeah um not yet but maybe someday maybe um and the yeah the expectations thing and the obligations oh brutal yeah like my lady will be like we we have a wedding in august you kind of have to go to this best friend of mine i'm like okay but i'm already like august that's coming up yeah but why and she knows that and she's just like she gets it which is why you know why you marry her she's like i know this is hard i know you're a weirdo whatever

you know what else is fun having a normal wife and they meet your parents and they're like wow your parents are weird you're like thank you all right it's like it's like an experiment i brought in like a normal variable she even thinks new dad at 2.0 is weird. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So if you would have seen weirdo with a clenched fist, it's a whole nother ballgame. But yeah. What does your dad think of how he used to be? That's a good question.

We don't. It hasn't come up. I don't think he thinks about it. My dad went on antidepressants at one point. This is early. This is the 90s. Yeah. Prozac, I believe. think he thinks about it. My dad went on antidepressants at one point. This is early. This is the 90s. He went on Prozac, I believe. And he stopped because he was being too nice to us.

So my dad was what they call true to the game. He was a real one. He was what they call a real one. Wow. Literally, he was letting us off easy. That is hilarious. Yeah. yeah wow just that he had that thought i'm being too nice like what am i doing this is not me yeah i gotta get back to my true character i'm being a phony out here being nice to people jesus um that'd be like ted bundy going

oh this jail i gotta get out and kill you know this ain't me yeah i got a bird i gotta fly baby um this is a big one take heavy duty sleeping pills i i understand already that i'm already contradicting my medication thing but i can't sleep so i gotta do it i go nuts if i don't take them like it's happened oh yeah oh yeah This is a side note for anyone watching or listening. There's a guy named Carl Hart who wrote a book called drug use for grownups. And he's a, he's in the New York post all the time. Cause they just clip them and say like,

there's a Columbia professor who does heroin. Sometimes he does. And he does math. Sometimes his point is you can do drugs. Whoa. Black guy. Yes. I've seen this guy.

Yeah. You just have to sleep huh he's like most psychotic breaks the first question is have you slept recently whoa and the answer is always no that makes 100 sense to me um anytime i'm nutty it's because i know sleep yeah that's where i would say like take a pill if you have to. I'm on your side. All right, thanks. It helps. Tell them Neil sent you. How bad has that gotten?

Well, I mean, I'm relying on them now. So if I don't take them, I'm just like, not only am I not sleeping, but now I'm wishing I had the pill. So it's like a double whammy because I'm like, oh, if I had that one pill, I'd be out right now. So it's pretty bad. You have levels the pill. So it's like a double whammy because I'm like, oh, if I had that one pill, I'd be out right now. So it's pretty bad. You have levels of pill? You have like decent pills

and then like that's the good pill for when? Heavy duty. It's called Seroquil. Sure, heard of it. It's a schizophrenia medicine. How'd you get prescribed it? I've just been talking about it. I'm not.

I buy them under the table. Fantastic. Even better. Yeah. And how often do you take those? Every night. Okay. I'll try to take a half just to like maybe if I can scale down i'm under the table fantastic even better yeah and how often do you take those every night okay i'll try to take a half just to like maybe if i can scale down but then i sleep worse so then i gotta go what's your wife think of it she's not into it she sleeps like a fucking rug do rug sleep

what sleeps baby cosby victim yeah all right so she's out um she's out like in a movie like this and i'm like god i want to kill her but what's the longest you've gone without sleeping i'd say probably three days nothing crazy how old were you uh 33 so you like i knew you yeah oh yeah oh yeah and what were you what was day three like oh my god you're just on edge you're freaking out you try to get drunk to stop yeah that helps that helps but like you're walking around new york city going like i wonder if anyone else is on no sleep i wonder if i'm the only guy then you see like a hobo and now you're like maybe him now you're relating to this guy so it's it's bad and your brain it's like ed norton fight club

your brain's going weird places you're just staring at a screen at four and the whole world is asleep and you're just like am i the only weirdo up have you gone to like a sleep clinic no i'm not a clinic guy you're you're good with that stuff i'm i've never gone to a clinic but you should go to a clinic i mean i don't say this i've never told anyone i mean i tell everyone what to do all the time but i'm saying like i've never heard of you should Yeah, there's like, you will go and they will, you'll like sit in a bed. You'll lay

in a bed and they put electrodes on. They like, they can scan your brain while you're either sleeping or attempting to sleep. And then they can help you. Really? Yes. And sleep is frustrating because everyone does it naturally. Yeah. So you're like, what the hell? And you can't try to sleep yeah so it's just just as frustrating tired yeah oh yeah

so you're very tired i'm assuming all the time you close your eyes what happens you know the brain it's it's a japanese game show i always say it's just like childhood, you know, bits. Oh, remember that guy? He that was a stupid thing. You said at that party. We're feet. That guy. Yeah.

Yeah. Then you go back like number third grade. Holy shit. Well, that's just this is the cable. This is the downside of having cable. Yeah, that's exactly. Have you heard of these these 12 hour walks people are doing? No.

Oh, this is a big thing. Now. Some guy would like go to Everest and walk and he's like, the places your brain goes, it's like free therapy. Just go outside and start walking. Don't talk to anybody. Don't headphone. Don't look at your phone. Nothing.

Just walk. And like by hour six, you are just in it, man. Like you're going all kinds of deep, deep corners of your brain and thinking about stuff and processing stuff childhood memories trauma and it's like becoming very popular uh friend of mine would run ultra marathons running is bad that she's gone on like forest runs gone on like forest runs that were so long that the forest would speak to her whoa like and i don't she's like i believe her yeah like it's not she's not a kook no i believe it i'm sure that's what like native americans you know i'm sure they were feeling shit like that till the white man

came straight about um i actually feel bad about that the sleep the sleep oh thanks yeah like i i mean i'm okay with the saraquil so i'm kind of all right what does that mean like i'm getting you know a good six seven hours oh yeah yeah but you're still exhausted is it good sleep is it michael jackson sleep or it's no it's not propofol it's not the whitney cummings but it's uh it's it's helpful like six hours to me i'm i'm good okay so you're doing it just and you're like knocking it out have you looked up like saraquel for sleep i should look into that um how did you hear about it i've been talking about not sleeping and then you you know just like anything else you meet other people yeah who aren't good at sleeping and i you got

to try magnesium tried that you got to try magnesium tried that you got to try melatonin that's not weak and then one guy was like you got to try this here's one and i slept pretty well and i was like you got to hook me up so now now i'm like a dealer with and do you have you noticed like you write bet like what's your what's your what's your i think just sleep is such a superpower you know i agree but i'm saying like i take i like drink caffeine or take caffeine pill but i do it earlier now because i from being i'd like oh yeah i just go to sleep at two every morning since i was 15 yeah and then if i drink caffeine earlier in the day, instead of like I do morning and then I do like afternoon.

If I move it up, then I can go to sleep at midnight. Oh, wow. And it's like that's way better. Way better. Yeah, like across the board. Yeah. And wake up earlier and fucking like. Productive.

Yeah. Yeah, no, that's, midnight is huge. Well, you have a better system, which is just don't go to sleep at all, which I need to ask you about. I'd like to, which is just don't go to sleep at all, which I need to ask you about. I'd like to get more information about don't go to sleep at all. But when you're doing a pull up at 4 PM with no sleep, you're like,

I forgot about the pull ups. You're wonky. Your brain's all over the place. Bad news. And you, but having said all that, you don't feel, you don't seem to feel sorry for yourself.

No, the bully stuff i felt sorry for myself like man this guy's really but even like i my show was like kind of feeling sorry for myself about having like depression stuff you seem like uh not like you have no empathy for yourself you just seem like i don't know i mean those people are way worse yeah could be in ukraine yeah you know so doing pull-ups yeah i'm a comedian i'm i'm grateful um and you gotta figure that out i gotta figure that out like i'm say that like it like hey yeah i like you you figure it out i appreciate i've had fans reach out yeah like here's some side effects you've got to watch out yeah like that i just just get sleep but there are sleep kind of like

there's shit you can do yeah all right there will be shit in the hopefully people will comment for once could be helpful for once yes please like things he could do if there's people um uh watching that know about this shit you have one day every two weeks that i that you just can't think yeah that might be the sleep talking obviously but i don't think so even some like i'll get a good good couple days of sleep but i'll just be like fried my brain just won't it's almost like a car won't turn over and our whole job is like thinking of bits being clever being snappy whatever and it just won't, it's almost like a car, won't turn over. And our whole job is like thinking of bits, being clever, being snappy, whatever. And it just won't go there. Yeah.

And I have that at least one day every week or every two weeks. And it'll fuck you. Sometimes I've had it when I do Rogan, you know, and you're like, this is the biggest platform and I got nothing. And you're like, God damn it. And how'd it happen today? You know, or are you going to date or whatever? And some days it just won't click. I find that shit scary. Scares the hell out of me. Yeah how'd it happen today? You know, or are you going to date or whatever? And some days it just won't click. I find that shit scary.

It scares the hell out of me. Yeah. Will it come back? I've had that on from depression where my memory was just a little like skippy. Oh yeah. And you're like, or I can't,

I can't remember words or I can't remember references. And I'm like, this is not good this is all we got is his brain the job yeah yeah so and do you what's your therapist say about all this stuff well you know what's weird is if i go to him it can help it it goes away a little the the the emptiness yeah so if i talk to him and like it almost feels like the garbage is empty it's like that sound when your computer when you put the trash and empty it it's kind of like that like oh i feel a little feel like some of the bags of shit are gone what do you end up talking

to your therapist about most of the time mostly just social stuff like i'm so fucked up over interactions i've had well that's the thing is like the level of obsession yeah once you if you a social interaction and bombing or i think that person likes me i don't trust that person or that stuff like grading every interaction yeah and then you it's you end up constantly it's constant yeah what could i have done differently oh yeah brutal replaying a lot of replaying stuff there's a term for that rumination oh here's where it's from goats eat grass and then puke it up and then eat it again and that's what we're doing whoa um there's a therapy called cbt cognitive behavioral therapy and there's a bunch of thought styles and i have it in my phone it's saved under like put this is important here are the thought styles oh i can't wait all

or nothing thinking uh sometimes called black and white thinking if i'm not perfect i have failed either i do it right or not at all whoa mental filter only paying attention to certain types of evidence noticing our failures but not seeing our successes wow jumping to conclusions um there are two types of jumping to conclusions mind reading imagining we know what others are thinking and fortune telling predicting the future uh emotional reasoning assuming that because we feel a certain way uh what we think must be true i feel embarrassed so i must be an idiot yeah i. I got that one. Yep. Labeling.

Assigning labels to ourselves and other people. I'm a loser. I'm completely useless. They're such an idiot. Got some of that. Overgeneralizing. Welcome to the job. Seeing a pattern based upon a single event or being overly broad in conclusions we draw.

But sometimes we're right. Yeah. Fuck you. Entire wing of therapy. disqualifying the positive discounting the good things that have happened or that you have done for some reason or another like yeah that doesn't count uh-huh i wasn't it was a netflix but it was i was a youtube special right right it was a that was a bad crowd yeah Yeah, that was... Well, that would be good. Ah. They're saying we do something good, and then we're like, yeah, but... This is how fucking dumb my brain was.

I used to think I was good at writing sketches, but only single camera sketches. Whoa. It was like, not SNL, where it's four cameras. Right. Like, what? A sketch is a sketch. A sketch is a sketch. That's how complex the brain is.

Blowing things out of proportion, catastrophizing or inappropriately shrinking something to make it seem less important. Using critical words like should, must, and ought can make us feel guilty or like we have already failed uh if we apply shoulds to other people the result is often frustration that's i'm the king of that like well they should yeah and the final one uh personalization blaming yourself or taking responsibility for something that wasn't completely your fault or blaming other people for something that was that was your fault i could have done that one yeah um embarrassing but yeah like there's this that's called cbt therapy i'll send it to you because it's like whoa yeah there's some on there that are like you know have you heard of the distant and clingy thing with relationships the attachment style yeah yeah yeah you got distant uh yeah avoidant

avoid it that's the one sorry not distant i have that too that's why marriage was such a big jump for me that you were finally like was it scary of course still scary i'm in the middle of it terrifying every that's why you can't sleep well that was pre that this damn marriage yeah um what did you what the scariness is about like that's commitment you know this is it and you don't want to fail either you don't want to get a divorce and be that guy nothing wrong with divorce but like sometimes divorce is a great thing but you want to not be a divorce guy because then you're like well why the hell did i get married yeah so that's a factor and you're afraid you're just afraid like i'm you're stuck yeah but and she's

your wife's gorgeous and sounds cool but it's cool as hell yeah but like it's still like you're you are stuck this is yeah and there's a zillion other people out there and you're like well what about them but you gotta just look past that and that this may be the avoidance talking, but look at all these other people. Yeah, I know. There's some hot ones, too. Do you, what is, how did she deal with it? I think she's just a cliche lady who's like, I want to get married. I like the idea of getting married. I like marriage.

I want to have a family. And like, I don't like, we're doing this. Yeah, yeah. And you were just kind of like, all right. Yeah, it took a few years of talk to me in a month you know and then eventually then she had the back and then i was like all right i'm down great well now i feel like you're committed to it now you'll be afraid of you'll be avoiding change yeah probably probably um more good ocd yeah and or maybe she's like your good luck charm or something

there you go um people do act nicer to you when you get married though i think do they really yeah they're like like you remember that alec balden speech in the departed like yeah people know you're not a fag they notice somebody can tolerate you for a while like it makes you look more decent or more acceptable in blocks there's the the thing about if I were married with kids, I'd be more popular. So you're saying, yeah, it shows you're a soldier. You're like a love soldier. You're a soldier for a lady.

Yes, yes, exactly. And I'm not saying I believe that, but I've just noticed people are like, oh, look at you, you got married. You grew up or you got your shit together. And I'm like, I don't, but it seems like like it's technically yes yeah um all right one final question that i keep forgetting to ask people all right biopic about you oh god what is the shia labouf okay no yeah who's the star fred savage or shia labou Yeah. What's the arc of the character?

Ooh, that's great. That's a great question. I think, well, obviously you got the comedian thing. Start whatever you want. Start at age 10, start at 2, start at 20. I'll start at the day before the whole gun, pinning the parents down thing. Start like the day before that,

then that'll like be the inciting incident. Right. And then I'll go off and uh go to college we'll we'll montage that and then i'll be learn to be a comedian and then the big thing is fucking up fucking up and then getting married is like the the end i guess what did you fuck up you know i fuck up relationships a single guy failure as a comedian um drinking too much not sleeping and you know blowing it with a bunch of women and then getting married what did you learn what did the character learn and what did he overcome what did he learn i think that you're not the only uh you're not the only person out there other people have feelings you selfish cunt and then uh you gotta you gotta commit sometimes and you gotta grow up peter pan all day right here i bet you could defend it though

oh yeah that's a better life i mean come on there's no contest uh the peter pan life yeah yeah like um who's like a like clooneyuny got married what 10 minutes ago yeah but i mean he's also cluny he's like a hot guy who's rich and a talent but like leo yeah no i said i did a joke on the daily show where i was like dicaprio's not married trevor's not married but if you look like us people are like what the hell you think you're doing yeah like that's fine it's for those guys there's a different that's different and you know it's different that's totally different yeah but i don't see women having this conversation i don't see women like oh you're single at 50 well done

yeah you know so that sucks well that's good it's never going to change unless they get on board unless they think it's cool good point and and unless they think it's cool i think they are more women are seeing the advantages i completely agree generationally like it seems like more girls in their 30s are like yeah like i could see it either way yeah there's and there's more acceptance and women are there's more progress so women are allowed to they don't need a guy now yeah you know i think i feel like in the you know mad men they're like ah this guy's gonna buy a house or i'm fucked yeah you know but now they don't need them but yeah i'd hate to be a young guy now well i feel like guys are out oh yeah but that's the guys are also useful you think that's what

i'm saying i don't know if they are well they're used yeah they i still think people want company we got a dick yeah i mean whatever they'll take a dick they want the company oh okay all right i would say the same your argument about the marriage thing i would say the same for slut shaming what's that meaning like it's never gonna go away because women won't own it a lot of women won't own being slut they'll be like another wrong being a slut yeah yeah but you shouldn't have to say that if there really isn't exactly yeah so i think they have some problems with sluts look i'll see we'll see what happens all right all right this is a weird way to end this sorry i'll probably will have ended after good it's a better lifestyle good idea peter pan um mark norman everybody a great probably our most in-depth one whoa yeah i never wanted to help someone on here

so that's that's fucking huge not a good sign unheard of not a good sign but a good podcast i'll take it. Blocks.