Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Marlon Wayans

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

Neal Brennan interviews Marlon Wayans (Good Grief special on Amazon, Wild Child Tour + much more) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. ---------------------------------------------------------- 00:00 Intro 00:53 Anxiety 9:33 Grief 22:07 Depression 27:02 Accepting His Trans Child 33:30 Sponsor: BetterHelp 34:32 Tupac, Biggie, Drake & Kendrick 41:01 Confrontation in Relationships 50:12 OCD with Clothes ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle ([e-mail])  Sponsor Blocks: https://public.liveread.io/media-kit/blocks Sponsors: https://www.betterhelp.com/neal for 10% off your first month. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everybody, it's Neil Brennan, it's the Box Podcast. My guest today I've known for about 30 plus years. He's got a new tour called the Wild Child Tour and he's got a Amazon special called Good Grief. Ladies and gentlemen, my guest today, Mr. Marlon Wayans. I've asked Neil many times if he wanted to produce one of my terrible shows and he's always wise enough to be like, no, I'm busy.

Okay. So let's get into it. You have legitimate blocks. I don't want to say you have white blocks, but I'm, I'm very happy to see the potential racial crossover we can do with this, uh, the reparation work we can do with this. You're okay. All of them are surprising given what it looked like publicly.

Your first block is anxiety. From my point of view, you were sort of, uh, Kenan and Damon come out here, they clear the land and then it looked like you and you and Sean were able to walk in and have it easier. It looked, I'm sure it wasn't easy, but it looked easier than for a lot of people. And you have anxiety, and I'm wondering like,

how did that play against all the things that were happening? Because perception isn't reality. Yeah. It was actually, it was hard on Damon and Keenan to Black men in that era trying to make it. I have so much respect Townsend especially. It was only slot for one. It was Eddie. Yep. And all these other guys who was fighting to find their way. Yes, so it was hard for Keenan and Damon

But when me and Sean came out at least they had before the world met Keenan and Damon, but when me and Sean came out, at least they had, before the world met Keenan and Damon, they had 20 years to hone their craft. 20 years to hit the stages. 20 years to figure out the science that goes with our art. How to be funny in public consistently. They got to practice. What's the structure?

If I'm doing these characters, where's this character going? What's the obstacles in his way? What's funny about that through his, it's a- Kenan one time gave, and I'm sure he's told you the same advice, Hollywood Shuffle, he had a bunch of sketches and Robert put structure on it that made it a movie.

And Kenan said, because people would rather watch a good movie than a funny movie. Which I think about all the time. It's true, and it's funny, because when I approach stand-up, I approach it like Kenan and Robert had a conversation. So I go, like Kenan, what's funny?

It's funny stuff. Funny stuff, this is funny, how is funny? It's funny stuff. Right, right. Right, funny stuff. This is funny. How does it end? Oh, yeah, this is ridiculous. And then I go, how does that connect? And how do I have a story that's meaningful that people go, oh, wow, now I'm in a movie, and I'm rooting for that character.

And he got all these things that he's doing. So it's kind of like the meaning of the mind. So were you aware of the difficulty? Like you must've been aware of the judgment in early 90s. You get on In Limit Color. Oh there they are, they're over here Luther. Man, I hope she ain't over here. And then you get your own sitcom on the WB.

That was the part I wasn't aware of. I thought the white man was gonna be the problem. I thought trying to make it in Hollywood was gonna try and be the problem. That actually wasn't the problem. The problem was Sean and I didn't get, it was the scrutiny from other people. But Sean and I didn't have-

Black people, go ahead. We didn't have 20 years to develop. I was 19, straight outta high school, one year of college. Did stand up maybe 10 times before Chris heckled me and made me quit. Which is the centerpiece of your HBO. What's the name of the HBO?

God Loves Me. Yeah, God Loves Me. It's the centerpiece. You basically use Chris slapping, Will slapping Chris as like the centerpiece of a your own story and it works great. Thank you. That had nothing to do with Will,

nothing to do with Jada, nothing to do with Chris. It's my fault. All true, by the way. Yeah, I had a joke about Chris shitting on me. Like it's Chris's, Chris will shit on you. I know Chris, right? Chris does it in jazz. He ain't know he doing it.

He don't know that. He just says it, man. And you're like, wow, that was bone crushing. He just keep on going. And you're just like, but at a point, if you could sit and listen to what he's saying, you go, oh, okay. Once I transpose that, I understand what you mean.

After a decade of pain or two He had it hard cuz he had all my brothers yeah Eddie Yeah, all these people coming down on him and he's just like come on He's little he does Ronald do a thing where he'll insult you and then he'll go, you know one time Eddie said Like the father of you know, that time Eddie said, did it, did it, did it. Like the father of, you know, that's not the first time that insult's been lobbed at somebody, one time Eddie said.

So. And we said it, I thought about suicide. All right, so when I came to Hollywood, the anxiety for me was the hate from all the other people, like why are they getting that opportunity? They're not ready. And we wasn't. But when Sean and I were, Sean and I had was great instincts. Like we've been writing and creating and developing. You're also very good looking and you're a very energetic. That would be Sean. I'm just fuckable.

I've always thought you're better looking than Sean. I'm fuckable. No, Sean's way. And I'll tell you. Sean's way. Way Really way been like he gets more girls than you. I wished I woke up a Sean. That's interesting I looked in the mirror. I could be Sean. I'd be like, yeah, I'm fucking you first Thank you So you were aware so what did so that didn't make you, it did. The anxiety came in knowing that we didn't have the wind beneath our wings. You didn't have chops, so to speak.

Experienced, you don't have, you don't know how to do it. So you really log those 10,000 hours, then you're like, oh, I'm in the matrix, it's moving slowly. Oh, I can connect this number with that. It takes a long time Yeah, that to happen. Where was the where would you say is the peak of your anxiety? It's been there the whole time It does so it's like it's a low-grade

Constant, huh? Not anymore. Okay when I first came out the anxiety was because I will go on stage and I will rip But I couldn't remember my act because I never wanted to do the same material I don't want to be the guy that's doing the same material for fucking 10 years, touring that material. I was like, no, no, no, no. I wanna do it and create something brand new every night. And that doesn't happen. That is not the art.

So then when I ran out of things to say, I was like, oh, what else is funny? And I can't hold on to my material. And not only that, but the anxiety for me before I even hit the stage was when you do stand-up you pull from your life well in my life there's five niggas in my family that's doing it before me right they've told every story what the fuck do I have to say but then what happens is over the course of experience you learn wait a second

It's like going up in a comic club every night everybody got a pile of a Trump joke or everybody has a sex joke Everybody has a relationship story. Everybody has a mom and dad abuse story, whatever, right? Everybody got their own shit and what you learn as a comedian is your story and your point of view is what's important Right not about the topic. It's not about it's what is what's important. Not about the topic, it's not about, it's what affects you. I mean, you talk about the things that really affect you and your pain and you make that shit funny, that's something nobody can ever really think. So you were aware of being anxious,

being sort of the fourth person up in this, in this fifth person up in this family. Yeah. And were you conscious of it or you just thought like, I'm a little jumpy or whatever. Was it like, no, I thought that. And this was not just about stand up. It was most it was about everything.

There's more. There's mostly stand up. OK, it was mostly the art like in life. I don't have a lot of light. I got certain hangups or whatever, but like when it comes to like anxiety like that, I, okay, there's bouts. So stand up was one, then the anxiety of being Kenan Damon's little brother

and having to, and then when me and Sean had our show, what I've learned was to take my anxiety and turn it into excitement. Okay. Because the performer in me drowns the human being. And when the performer drowns the human being, he takes over. And so there is no fear.

Is that good that it drowns the human being? I'm still here. I ain't run off. You're right. Is it like there's a human cost? Is it one of those things of like, where's Marlon? No, I think it's a great survival. It was one of the grays for me, that is Marlon, right?

Is the fact that I think everybody has the giant that comes to rescue the scared little boy, right? And when you're dealing with anxiety or those kinds of things that cripple you, I have this superhero that comes, swoops me up, and is like, yo, we're going. Nobody's gonna touch you. And that is the hyper-anxiety.

What other ways were you anxious? I got really anxious when my mother died. That was recent, right? In the last five years? Yeah, I couldn't sleep. How come? When did your father die? My father died last year.

Oh, okay, so your mother died. When he died, it was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, nigga, that's what I'm talking about. What do you think the difference is? Because men are just like soldiers, and it's just like, yeah, we served together, but my mom is like my mom. My mom was just that person.

My mother was like just this big, bright person. It's like a person that you're never gonna see another. My mother was Prince. My mother was Michael Jackson. My mother was Martin Luther King. My mother was somebody huge. She wasn't a small light. And everybody in my family, my mother was somebody huge. She wasn't a small light. And everybody in my family, my mother was gone.

It wasn't like some little divot from a golf ball. It was like a meteor came in from, and a meteor the size, two sizes the size of Earth came and crashed down and just shattered all of us. And the anxiety you think was... Well, as a kid, I used to have anxiety because I never wanted to die. Okay.

I have FOMO. I love life. And I hate the fact that when I die, people are gonna be living and having fun, and I'm gonna be in a box somewhere. Fucking bothers me. I want to... I don't want to be in a box. Like, I burn outside, freeze me. A death gives me anxiety. So when my mother died,

I was riddled with anxiety because that was the life of the party. And it's like, even your mother goes. And you're like, wait, hold on, this ain't a joke. This happens to all of us. And it fucked me up and I couldn't sleep for maybe two and a half years, I would drink myself to sleep. I would drink my whiskey, I got introduced to whiskey.

And I would just down my albolo or have my scotch or my McKellen or my Gold Chapelle the Nica coffee Or the biki and um and what happened was then I started therapy again When I started therapy, I didn't have one doctor. I have two that I speak with a female playing against each other Yeah, you know what she says. Yeah, because sometimes as a man I could I could be an arrogant asshole that I speak with a female. Plame against each other? Yeah. You know what she says. Yeah, because sometimes as a man,

I could be an arrogant asshole. I can have my machismo and my, and the woman gives you a different perspective and sometimes they champion you for having those things, those egos, those things that protect you or build you. Like, no, you're fine to feel that. And what happened was, you're like, why would you have to?

Because I was in a couples therapy, and then the girl left. So I was left by myself. So it didn't go that it didn't work? Oh, she left. She was like, I'm out. Middle of a session? Yeah. No way. She was like, we, they didn't agree with what she said.

She was like, I'm out. That's hilarious. No, they against me. So they help heal my anxiety. What did you figure out with the mom stuff? It was the life of the party thing. It was the, if she dies, that means like. Cause I always think, cause I'm the youngest of 10.

I always think about how many people, yeah, how many people, if nature is correct, the amount of funerals. You got a plan. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, again, their nieces and nephews and all that stuff, but like, you just kind of go like,

God damn, that's not gonna be easy. It's gonna be very hard. Yeah. And my brothers, you know, I love them, and they, I'm a one time man. And you know, being a baby, I don't know about your family, my family, you're not the baby,

you're the butt of every joke. So. I was the baby. But you was the funny one. Right, yeah. So you joked on everybody and I was like, you're a defense mechanism. I was just the guy that just got.

Pummeled. Yeah, but I learned to take a good joke and I my brothers had me on the Emmy in a little suit and They tricked me because I was supposed to do a sketch with them and they was wearing these expensive suits and I was like Yo, fuck that. I ain't got the money for that. I just did more money. I only had like, you know, ten thousand dollars It's like yo minus dope suit. I'm not going looking like that was Kenan. They were just doing canes is Damon Sean you've been cheap don't be cheap bring up by a suit. I was like, I don't have the money How about this we go rent a cheap tuxedo and then a little one and then I'll come out looking like

Urkel and you guys will make fun of my tuxedo." And I kept bothering about doing this sketch, so they all call each other. Damon's like, "'Yo, Ma keep bothering me about this stupid suit, and being cheap.' I think what we should do is we should... we should do his little sketch, but not do it." Oh, that's fucked up, but that's funny.

And so, they have me on a sketch, and they said, they go, um... I know, I was supposed to come out and go this looks oh and hey everybody welcome to Wayne's brothers Keenan and Sean and then they go hey, where's Marlon and I come around the corner like Frazier not Frazier was the dude Seinfeld Kramer Kramer like Yeah in this little suit and then it was supposed to rag my suit Instead they go. Hey, where's Marlon? I come out with the little suit and my brothers look at my suit and then they were supposed to rag my suit. Instead, they go, hey, where's Marlon? I come out with the little suit

and my brothers look at my suit and they just go, and the nominees are. And on the Emmys, for the 60 million people, I said, oh shit. Did you ever hear that story? It's literally just coming back to me, that Kenan ordered something COD to Arsenio's house? Yeah, I want that one. Kenan ordered something COD to Arsenio's house.

Yeah, I forgot what that was. But I remember, they used to always do funny stuff. COD, there was a thing where you could order stuff and you'd have cash on delivery. So Kenan ordered something for Arsenio and made Arsenio like thousands of dollars and he didn't have the money, like so fucking funny. Eddie one time, Murphy went over to Kenan's house, he had this Celica, this Toyota Celica,

and Eddie walked on top of it and jumped on the top of the roof. It was like, you cheap nigga, buy some new shit. But my point is, with the Emmy, with the little suit, I have a lot of funerals to plan. And they got me that night and I was so mad, I was hurt. And I promised myself that I'm paying back so I'm gonna be the last one to die.

I'm gonna take a picture of every last single of these niggas in that little ass suit. In the little suit looking crazy. And I'm gonna have a collection before I die and I'm gonna put it in my coffins when people find it. And everyone's gonna go, what are the Emmys? And then how did you so you dealt with the anxiety and therapy about mom and then you were saying you were on yeah working out and then I did I just recently did this movie Him and uh it's a Jordan Peele produced movie,

Monkey Park production. And what's his name? Justin Tipping is directing, he's a great director. And it's a really like dark role. Like as I was taking a deep dive to find this character, I saw me and I was broken. Why? Why are you broken?

All the death I've been through. My last special I call it good grief because I've lost 57 people, now 60 people that I love. And it's like, it breaks you. 61. 61. 62. 62 horrible.

I'm a weigh in. So. Is a weigh in. But yeah man, it was hard. The mom was like the worst. My mother's death broke me. My father's death, weirdly enough, was the beginning of me putting myself back together.

And then God gave me this movie, Him. And then I did the work and I found myself when I dove to get the character, I looked up, I seen me floating. Like literally, I seen an image of me floating face down in the character. I looked up, I seen me floating. Like literally I seen an image of me floating face down in the pool. And I said, after I get this character, I'm going to go get him and I'm gonna go resuscitate that person and bring him back to a better version of us.

What do you think happens with me when you die? I don't know. But I know this shit ain't happening. I don't I think you're just dead. Oh, you don't believe in anything No, I know is it may ever come back from death like Nick. You got to come you got to get here Right shit. Don't people don't come back for shit people don't come somebody's him. I just don't think my own personal Did you grow up religious? Yeah, Joe was witness Yeah, and do you still? I wasn't, my dad was. Right.

And do you still, did you just leave and were like? My dad was a devout Jehovah's Witness. Yeah. And to the, like he said his last prayer, like before he died. Yep. It's been a year. I ain't seen him at all.

Okay, so you think. I thought God, if anybody's gonna rescue anybody, God was gonna get him. Yeah. So- He lived the perfect life. Did you ever believe in anything? Yeah.

And what happened? I used to believe in resurrection and all these things, and it hasn't happened in my lifetime. So it's not that I believe in God. I believe that we're here by some higher power, some force. I hope our spirits commute to somewhere else and travel in a different body, and I hope I remember this life,

because I really like this life that I'm living. Yeah, you got to be fucking Marlon Weiss. Did you... So the anxiety from death is you're just afraid. You don't want it to end. Do you miss the people? And do you feel just afraid, you don't want it to end. Do you miss the people? And do you feel bad for the people that have died? I feel bad, I miss the people.

And when I die, I'm gonna be sad about how much they're gonna miss me. Because I'm the life of the party. I be like, I don't know how my kids are gonna survive. I'm like, oh, you're fucked. You are a great partier. I will say that a few times I've partied with you, you are great at it.

Thank you. You're very active. You're very social. He's a great person to party with. If you get a chance. Have a good time. Okay, so there's anxiety, which is that you've got it under control.

It's under control for now. Okay. But I'm pretty sure at some point, and then I also did some things to help with my anxiety. About a year ago, I reached out to Gary Brekker, and he used to be a phlebotomist for the insurance companies. And he would tell you. You know, Gary Brekka.

Yeah, he would tell you when you're gonna die. Like in 10 years, he told Dana White, you got like 10 years, 10.1 years, something like that, and you're gonna die. I mean, so Dana had a common precursor for cardiovascular disease called metabolic syndrome. And when I went to him, I got my methylation done. 64, Dana White is dead.

Go ahead. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And that means that I overproduce folic acid. So a lot of, so I can't eat foods that spray with folic acid. I can't eat rice. I can't eat grains. I can't eat like anything that's enriched wheat, I cannot have. And I made these changes to my diet, and it's really helped quell the thoughts

that I used to have of's so much better, bro. So much better, yeah. So much better, I'm done. You don't drink at night and shit? No, I don't have to. Great. I get this other thing. REM sleep.

It's by Healthy Cell. Healthy Cell. REM sleep. You will knock out. You're talking about a pill? No, it's a liquid. And you will, and you will and you don't wake up feeling crazy or groggy or like like you've been raped it's never

happened okay my point I don't hang out with Bill Coghlin not anymore you know or not after what the things are out on the street okay so so you take that and you sleep better. Sleep great. And what about depression? Then another block, is depression everybody? I only hit depression, I've been pretty happy my whole life.

And then my mother died. With anxiety, I was holding depression's hand. And so it was about a good three years. It took my, to my father's death for me to go, all right, we gotta get out of this. What were you like as a depressed person relative to what you think you're supposed to be like? I think I was just more somber.

I just laid around a lot and had a belly. Do you smoke weed? You didn't? I didn't at the time, because I just, I was drinking. Got it. You know, I wish I was smoking weed at the time. Because it would have, you would have. I think I would have helped balance it a little bit more.

At least, you know, I would have been a little bit more creative. So I think the depression for me, it was the compilation of all the deaths and COVID, quarantine. And then I had a baby coming, a new baby. And then I just had a shit storm of things happen. And then like, and at the same time,

my daughter was transitioning into a son. It was just like a lot, it was like a biblical proportions. And when I break it down and I really look at it, and this was one of the things that helped save me is I think you have to have perspective on where you're at and why this is happening. And I looked at all of it and it was,

instead of me being a victim in the journey, I was like, oh, I'm the hero in this. What's God teaching me? What am I teaching me? What am I preparing for? Okay, instead of worrying about how much I miss my parents, how about I show up as them for my next generation? How about I put my energy to work

instead of sitting there licking my wounds? There's so much, I got this big, great, beautiful family. And I'm gonna help be like the Kenan for these 47 kids. And I gotta shepherd them. And so once I took on the hero role, the victim, scurried away. Do you think it has to be hero or victim? Because you know what I mean?

Because I tend to feel sorry for myself a lot and it's wrong. But I'm realizing like you're not a fucking victim. I'm not necessarily the hero. I don't go to hero. I just go to like, things are great. I don't, but I don't have to like worry about offspring and shit like that.

You need, see, you need a black female friend. Go on. Stop thinking like that. No, I know. That's a bullshit. No, no, no. No, white boy, you got some.

No, I know. I had, well, there were guys, there were two African black dudes who were very good with like, why are you being like this? Like who, and it was, I didn't really hear them. I got out of it. Well, I'm just saying I don't go to hero. We don't feel sorry a lot of times for ourselves

as black people, right? It's like, we don't have time for that. It's like, yo, no, no, no, no. We gotta keep it moving. There's no time for that. And I guess- But you were doing that. I made time for it.

COVID happened. You made time. COVID happened. Black people make time for feeling self-confident. Yeah. And honestly, sometimes knowing that you're not checking in with yourself and not feeling good is okay. Because sometimes recognizing that, hey, I don't feel good, I think that's okay.

Now do something about it. I'm not saying, I never had like suicidal thoughts. And then I had like two or three times that I was thinking it. And I was like, what the fuck? Where did that come from? Where am I at right now? Hold up.

Something, I'm getting out of line. I'm getting out of whack. Gay, I need two appointments with the two therapists this week. I need to talk about this. Yeah. I need to, I need to get on. And so it's okay to check in with yourself. It's okay to not be okay, but it's not okay.

If you don't stay out. Okay. Yeah. Get meds, get help, do something. Did you do meds? No. Um, I do great diet. I do working out and I do working out, and I do healthy

lifestyle and that and and that that helps me. I don't I haven't needed meds. Can you walk me through the the daughter transitioning thing and what because I've never really heard anyone I know you talk about in the specials that I haven't watched it. No. Good grief. That's not what about it? That's not it, I won't. That's actually the one I'm working on right now. Okay, I'm curious as to, because the thing that I, my feeling about trans people in general is it's wrong. No, I'm kidding. My feeling about trans people is it's hard.

It's very, it's a very hard thing for them to go through. And I wonder what it's like for you and beyond like the cultural norms and the masculine stereotypes and all that shit. Is it, what was it, did you, what are the phases for you as a parent? I learned that acceptance is everything. Yeah.

And that, you know, when you're presented with certain things, it's not about the everything, right? And that, you know, when you're presented with certain things, it's not about the person, right? It's about you, everything is always for you. Why are you feeling this way? You need to break ego. You need to break the fact that you think you can control things. This is part of your problem.

This is why you're depressed. This is why you're depressed. This is why you have anxiety, because you are trying to control and steer the ship when it's not in your control. And you're gonna have to learn to lie back and trust God. And if you hit the ground, you're gonna hit the ground. But if not, shut up and fall backward. Trust God except for death.

Once death is there. I'm sleeping though. You got a question Trust God, except for death. Once death is there. I'm sleeping, though. You got a question, God. I'm sleeping. My question. It was a point I didn't. Now I'm sleeping. I'm like, eh, fuck death.

It's going to happen eventually. So I'm much better now. Is the thing that you're talking about, the control part, isn't that part of parenting? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but there's a point in parenting. How old is your daughter now? My child's 23. Okay. 24 now. Okay. This was happening when they were 22, 23. And for me, like, that's a that's the let go time. That's like

you're your own person now. Yeah. And you know, you you're trying to hold on, right? And you're you want this thing that's in your head normalcy and you're trying to hold on, all right? And you want this thing that's in your head normalcy and you think about your grandchildren and all kinds of shit and it's like, yo, it's not on me to think about none of that. This is their life and they should be happy and if they do this or they wanna change back, what do they wanna do?

It's not on me to punch down on my child. It's on me to love my child, period. That's all. All I could do was love my child. And that's what I do. Did you try to talk them out of it? Of course. I mean, yeah, I try to hypnotize that bit.

Yeah, I believe it. You are crazy. Yeah, no, no, no, I did, I did. I was like, no, wait, hold on. And like I said, and I protested against it. And I don't say that with pride, right? I look back on those actions and I'm ashamed. It's funny how you can be so embarrassed

by something you did two years ago. Like that was a different, I was only 50. Crazy, I was embarrassed the moment I was forced to look in the mirror, I was only 50. Crazy. I was embarrassed the moment I was forced to look in the mirror, I was embarrassed. And it only took me a week. About your behavior? Yeah. It took you a week to realize like,

you're doing this wrong? The transition for me, cause their transition was like a three year process, four year process. My transition was a week, one hard week. And I will say, I got to a beautiful place called acceptance and I pray for a lot of parents, family members, and just public people in general.

It's not on us to judge anybody, right? Amen, live your life. And I tell my child, listen, I'm gonna have my jokes, as long as you know I'm a comedian first, well I'm a father first, a comedian second, and those two clash. And they're like, they know my heart, and they trust that I'm gonna tell a great story,

and it's a beautiful story, and I think I can't wait for people to see it. But you're also pretty publicly an advocate for it. So it's a beautiful story, and I think I can't wait for people to see it. But you're also pretty publicly an advocate for it. Like, so it's not like... But it's not just for them. I went to performing arts high school. I have many gay people. I work in Hollywood.

You know what I mean? I know many people in the LGBTQ, and it's not on me to... It's on me to just bring love, bring light. You know, I'm around my friends, they're my friends, like, honestly. So I'm not gonna make them feel weird as long as they don't make me feel weird

when I crack jokes, cause I'm gonna crack my jokes. Just like I crack a white joke, black jokes, you know, gay jokes, I'm a comedian. So everybody gets it, including my family, including myself, we all get it. How did you think you were gonna stop, what are her pronouns?

Uh, he and they. Okay, how did you think you were gonna stop them from doing it? Did you have a plan? Uh, yeah. I was gonna impose sanctions. Like, you put some... Like, I'm not giving you a little island? Exactly. Imposing all impose sanctions. Like, you put- Like, I'm not giving you a lot.

Exactly, I'm imposing all those sanctions. And he was like, so what? Fuck it, I'll starve. Okay, well, I'm gonna pull you out of school. Yeah. All right, well, I guess three and a half years at USC, I could get a job. Like, fuck, nothing was working.

Because this is what they wanted to do. And, you know, I always said, I want my kids to be happy. In order to be happy, you're not gonna please everybody. So you tried and you just finally were like, this is stupid and I gotta accept it. Yeah, I gave it a shot. That's how I felt.

I gave it a good old scout try. Did you think about your parents and did you, you know what I mean? Did you think about like, what would mommy think? What would dad, like, did you think that shit? No, my father would definitely would have been against it, but as much as he would have been against it, he would have never stopped loving my child.

My mother, you know, she'd have been like, I don't know why you want to be it, but you know, you still look just like me. That baby's brilliant. My mother was like, out of all the kids, that one's just like me. She looked like me, she talked like me, she can act like me. I'm like,

is she a pussy like you? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What's something that scares you? I have a fear of failure. I've had a fear of commitment. Therapy is a great tool for facing your fears and finding ways to overcome them because sometimes the scariest thing is not facing our fears in the first place and holding ourselves back as a result. I you know I've been to therapy I talk about it every week one of the guests talks about it every week it's I swear by it it really helped me I wouldn't endorse it if it didn't. If you're thinking of starting therapy give BetterHelp a try it's entirely, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch

therapists at any time for no additional charge. Overcome your fears with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash any AL today to get 10% off your first month. That's B-E-T-T-E-R-H-E-L-P dot com slash Neil. What do you think Tupac will be doing right now if he were alive? I think he would be deep into politics, but from his perspective, Paco's one of those dudes that probably would have or could have run for president and actually got votes.

Could have win. Like he's that, if it wasn't for all the stuff that he was, even with that, Pac was a super human, he was a nova, man. Pac was Prince at 24, right? I knew all these, I know all these dope ass people, man, and you just go, you know it when you know it. Pac was just, he was special. He would probably be dropping his, you know,

40th album because he was a writer. You had a big post about, like, you know, with the Drake and Kendrick thing where you were like, hey, you know, people get murdered in this. Cause you were at the tunnel and all that. You were like, you were friends with Biggie and Tupac. Yeah. And I saw, first of all,

Pac, I did a boy, Above the Run with Tupac. Play it's own. I'ma play it, you know me. Fuck a good player, the wheelchair man, yeah. Yeah. I got cool with him because I used to go down to the set of Juice because Omar Epps is my best friend since like we were kids so I would go down to the set and me him and Pac got real cool and we used to hang out and what we identified with we were all very similar like we're from the hood but we're not of the hood, but we are. Like, we could touch it, we could live that life,

but we choose not to, because we're performing arts, high school kids. We're trying to run away from the muck. Pac just kept getting sucked back in. So, the three of us hung out a lot. And when Pac hung it out with us, we would laugh. And if Pac, you told a joke joke and you had one up on him, he was gonna get one up on you.

He had to be the funniest. If he was fighting, he had to have the most punches. He was always that guy. And I saw Pac 20 minutes before he got shot. Me and Omar and Mitchell, my other friend went to performing arts high school with, was in, at the Luxor, getting into a cab. And Tupac was getting into that BMW.

And he had all these people around him. And Suge and all of them. Were you still seeing him every once in a while? Yeah, we saw him with them and I was like, come on guys, let's just keep going. I turned to the white guy, help out, he's busy. And Omar's like, nah, fuck that, we gonna go say what's up.

I was like, you sure about this? I'm gonna trust your dark skin instincts. And then we went over and Omar said what's up and we gave hugs and I said, what's up? And we sat there and we talked and we laughed. And then the car pulled up and we said our goodbyes and we got in the car and then on our way there, 20 minutes later, we already got shot.

We thought he was gonna make it. We had no idea he was gonna pass. Cause he had been through so much already. And then Biggie, I saw at the automotive museum, because I know Puff and all those guys for years. So, cause I went to Howard University. Yeah. So I saw them going up the escalator

and living color was on and Biggie was like, yo, I love you and your brother's shit. And then 20 minutes later, bah, bah, bah, Biggie died. And I went to the hospital and Puff and all them was outside crying and it was like, oh shit.

And then flip back to 10 years or 15 years prior, there's a picture, I remember Pop called me out to come hang out, and him and Biggie were performing at Glam Slam, which was Prince's Club downtown. There's a famous picture with Tupac and Biggie. And if you look in the corner, there's a young Marlon Wayans in the corner

just like twisting my... Yo, yeah, yeah, yeah. That was, it wasn't 15 years, it was like five years or something, right? Because 15 would have been the 80s. I don't know. Yeah, but yeah. It's all a dream, but you get to be, exactly. That was, it wasn't 15 years, it was like five years or something, right? Cause they, 15 would have been the eighties. I don't know. Yeah, but yeah. It's all a dream when you get to be,

Exactly. I'm 52. To me they just died yesterday. So, yeah man, that was, that what you're saying is, You're a bad luck charm. I am. Guys, if you're around Marlon Wayans,

you're about to get shot. Duck, 20 minutes and duck. But what I was saying to Kendrick and Drake is like, y'all be aware of your words. Be aware of the power of your words. I knew both these greats. Take your egos out of this, save your life and be an example for all these other kids

because shit gets real. And then it compiles and now look at what happened at Drake's house. It's just like, yo, y'all gotta shake hands and let it be loved because at the end of the day, this is just art, man. But you know, it takes a long time. The older you get, the easier it is to drop shit.

I ain't got no beef with nobody, man. No, but I'm saying when you're 20 in hip hop. When your knees are good for nobody, man. No, no, but I'm saying when you're 20 in hip hop. When your knees are good. Exactly. Yes. When you can scrap with anybody at any time and you're like when it. KRS One ain't fighting anybody right now. Yeah, exactly.

So it's like, so you, I'm sure even if you could talk to them now would be like, no, for a while it's like, fuck them, fuck them, fuck them. But then eventually they would've come to like, man that was a fucking waste of time. That was a huge mistake. Stupid. Yeah. I seen it swirling out of control

and I was just like, y'all don't see what's happening here? I knew it was gonna get dark, I just knew it. And I started to feel it with this Drake and Kendra thing and I was like, listen, I'ma say something. Call me the old man in the room. But if I can just be like, hey, hey, hey, young man. Hey, young man.

I think you're both great. I think everybody's great and I think J. Cole, to me, he gives all my respect. For being like, I'm not, this is not the way I am. I ain't fucking with none of this. This ain't my spirit. I thought that was the, that was some grown man shit. I was like, he has to have some gray dick hair. That was a gray dick hair moment.

Yeah, yeah, you're absolutely right. Whereas it's like, yeah, you just go, what the fuck am I doing? What the fuck? I'm gonna make mean rhymes about people that I love. Yes, yes, stupid. That's the lamest shit I ever did in my fucking life, right? You have, you don't like confrontation in relationships.

No. You've been married? Or you have, how many baby mothers? Only two. Okay. And is it the same issue? No. So you, how do you, you just avoid confrontation

like you don't start it? Or you try to? I don't like to argue. I just don't like to argue. I just like to have fun. Yeah. I just wanna have fun. All I wanna do is have fun. I don't argue.

I don't wanna talk about a relationship. If I gotta talk about the relationship, then we're not in the relationship. We're walking through your anxiety and through your fears. Because if you're in this relationship, then you're loving me, you're hugging me, you're touching me. We're holding hands, we're laughing together. All this talk about this, no, you're loving me, you're hugging me, you're touching me, we're holding hands, we're laughing together. All this talk about this and that,

I don't know, you're giving me anxiety. I don't wanna argue, I just wanna smile. And if I'm 52 and God blesses me to live another 20 years, that means I got more days behind me than I do ahead of me. I'm not letting anybody waste not one fucking moment of my life. I'm gonna enjoy this ride.

And if I need to be alone to enjoy it, that's what will happen. But what you will not do is strap me with all your shit and make me responsible for- Your history. Yo shit, go get your therapy. Or how about you actually fucked up? And that's easy, I'm like, oh, I fucked up, my bad.

You are easy to admit. My bad, I'll do better. I'll do better. You understand, I mean, I don't wanna defend fighting, but certain things have to be discussed. A discussion is fine, but when you start emotionally investing in what you're saying and projecting that on me, and I start feeling a certain way, we gonna talk,

we can talk like this, if me and you can talk like this, if I can talk like this in a relationship, I could do this all day, all day. I don't, you know, I'm fine with that, but when you start crying and you start putting, that shit is heavy. Like, whoa, whoa, where the fuck did this come from? Like, let's just talk.

Do you feel like- When it's heated, I leave. Cause I don't wanna say anything mean. Yeah. And I'm protecting you. I hate when people try to make me talk. Do you understand I'm trying to cool off because I'm a comedian and the things that I say I can be so dark and so hurtful and my father warned me about that as a kid And I trusted him

because my mother used to My mother had the sharpest tongue in the West boy. Yeah shit, she's saying my father be crying. He'd be like, you watch what you say. You have that gift or that curse. Don't talk when you're mad. Did your parents stay married? Yeah.

I don't know if they stayed happy, but. Well, that's. Actually, they were fucking til the end. Yeah. They just was on separate coasts. And my dad one day was like Cuz we thought they was over cuz they argued so much and my dad one day was like y'all took my girl I mean

Took my girl to Cali said man said bro. Y'all was leaving fucking he goes. Well, you talk about Jack. I was banging that out Wow well how many is like out. Wow. Well how many you think? Yeah. God bless. So what people I'm betting people don't like that. What? You not engaging. I will engage. Just after a certain volume and tone. I need some time. I just feel like if we get here you can feel when the temperature's right and you can feel when the temperature's right,

you can feel when it's not, and it's toxic, let's just calm down, like why do we have to resolve this right now, let's just calm down and let's talk tomorrow, let's talk, let's table it. Has anybody come around to that philosophy? Do you know what I mean? Like they initially were like, no, we need to talk it out, we need to get heated, we need, And then we're like, you know what?

I've never done this before. This is great. My first children's mother, I think she gets it. Yeah. I've probably met her, like her, like we talk. I mean, I'll never have like an argument, but we probably, even then we had our worst times. Like she might've cursed me out in front of the kids, maybe two or three times. And I was just like, she might have cursed me out in front of the kids maybe two or three times.

And I was just like, I don't want to argue in front of my kids. That's a soft spot for me, because my parents used to argue in front of me, and I used to feel like it was my fault. And so I never wanted my kids to feel that way. And your brothers told you it was? You know that's your fault. It's your fault.

Yeah. And so you were like, I'm not going to do that? Do the kids, do you have, you ever talk to the kids about it? I'm always curious what they think, what they thought was going on. They love the fact that I didn't give them my issues. They were allowed to have their peace. They grew up in their peace, their environment, their love, they know they were loved.

Absolutely, I never wanted to give them trauma. Whatever trauma you go through, I don't wanna be the cause of it. I just wanna give you love. And same thing for me, I'm not here to heal your trauma. That's not what a relationship is. To me, I don't think, that's a therapist's job. That's your job.

I just met you. I've only known you this amount of time. Why am I assuming responsibility for everything that happened for you in those 35 years? All I'm doing, all I am is a man that wants to love you. Will you let me? Yeah. All this other shit?

Oh, Amy. So did anyone ever say like, no, you need to, we need to have this argument. Oh yeah. And you must've been like, I'm leaving. Yep, I got my car. And blew your phone up, text, call. I disappear for two days. I'll call when it's time.

I'll call you after we calm down. Because otherwise, that's how domestic violence and things like that start, right? I'm very, I see the forest through the trees. I go, okay, we're in this topic, we're in this conversation, it's getting heated, what's the worst thing that could happen? And then I go, I gotta go. Why?

Because in 52 years, I've been famous, 33 years, you don't read a lot of bullshit about me. Yeah. Because I don't do a lot of bullshit. You have to be mindful of what you do. And me as a parent, I'm going to honor that. So if you think I want to throw all that I am and all I love under a bus because you wanna have this toxic conversation right now in this toxic way, screaming and throwing stuff.

No, I don't have to. And then when you come back, are they like, you were right to leave? Or they're still mad? No, when they come back and there's like wine on my walls and furniture was ripped up and... Shame I wasn't here for this. But I have it, have at it, have at all it.

I don't care, but what I'm not gonna do is put myself in a position where I could, you know, have a toxic confrontation with you. For what? I think that's respectful, just because if you know you can't talk about something right now in an honest way, why the fuck talk about it yeah let's just wait and then we could come to the table talk like this and they say you're avoidant and all that

yeah and you're like yeah I am good I still got my house yeah great yeah it's worked so far I'm still haven't seen no jail cell. Don't know what it looks like. Are you trying to get better with that? Or you think that that's the best? Can I pee? No, we're almost done. Fuck.

You're doing a podcast now. Damn. We don't pee on podcasts. We don't pee on podcasts. Joe Rogan goes three and a half hours. You got what it takes? I think he has space pampers on. There's no way.

No, for real. um, it is wild. Although I made him piss less. Um, do, are you trying to get better with the non-confrontation or that's like that? Okay. So you are trying to find a middle ground. Yes. What is it?

Ideally, what is it? When I start feeling that thing? That means calm it down Don't wait so long And talk about it. Don't wait two days. Yeah, ten minutes, but a half hour for okay Maybe two hours you go to your end of the room, but it ends up the door. Yeah, but in the day, you know You good or just fine people that don't argue. They actually have them. They don't argue.

They're just, now they may lose their mind, but they don't argue. They're peaceful people. There's people that are actually peaceful people, you know? And I've been lucky and I've been blessed, and then I've been cursed and you know, it is what it is but it's all lessons. Can I pee?

OCD with clothes and then we're out of here. I, yeah. I think because I'm dirty as hell. I'm not dirty, I'm messy. Like I'll mess the same places. Like, I'll get out my clothes and leave them in the bathroom on the floor. My underwear right there.

No, I wear black underwear, don't trip. Not even that, but I wash my ass after every shit. Like, that's almost CD with that. Every last single one. I have to. I just. It's nothing special going on. Huh?

There's nothing, it's not a big deal. People don't do that, especially men. They just think that's like. You got a bidet? Nah. You should. I got a bidet toilet when I'm Japanese. Total joints.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I use that, that's the warm up. I got soap. Oh, then you follow that up? And shower, yes. Ooh, okay. Yes. Yes. Oh Okay Yes, okay. So then I'm OCD with my clothes because it's like when I came up I used to work in sneaker stores and

I was working Barneys, New York and so to me rich wasn't cars and watches and to me Clothes made you rich, made you feel rich when you put the clothes on. So I've always been big on clothes and even when I pack my clothes I have to have them packed a certain way and a certain tightness and in my house I like them color coordinated and I'm emptying out and getting rid of a bunch of stuff because I really wanna live a minimalist lifestyle and it's gonna be very neat. If you don't do it, what happens?

What? If you're not OCD, because OCD implies that you will get anxious if shit. I can't create. I can't create. My mind just goes, zh, zh, zh. But when I clean,

and I get everything there, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh. Then my brain just, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, zh, and I start cleaning it, I start cleaning the files in my head, and just living in accordance. And for me, that is just the way it works. And I wanna be a minimalist in terms of clothes, because I realized, I went through a shopping phase. Yeah, 20 years.

Yeah, and I collected so much stuff. I had the best clothes. Now I want to get rid of shit I don't want nothing. Yeah, I literally don't want nothing. I'm rebuilding give it away. I sold it. Huh? Give it away sold it Combination. Yep. So I'm rebuilding my house right now and the closet is gonna be very small Yeah, so I don't want a big closet. I'm not gonna take a room and turn it into a closet very small. Yeah. So I don't want a big closet. I'm not going to take a room and turn it into a closet. This is what I have. These are the sneakers. These are the, I'm not, I have, I own 1500 to 2000 pairs of sneakers. I'm getting rid of all them shits.

I'm only got two, two feet. I'm at about 25 to 30 shoes. That's all. That's still a lot. It's not compared to 1800. No, of course. That's crazy. That's crazy, man. Well, it's just, it's a waste of time. It's something else happening. It's crazy. I would tell you that I was going through it. Yeah.

Do you have them boxed and all that shit? Yeah. So you can sell them for money, probably. I'm sure there's like a good Jordan's and shit. Yeah, but ain't, I mean, maybe you'll come across something like, oh my God, I didn't know this baseball card was worth. Yeah, yeah ain't, I mean, you know what I'm saying? Maybe you'll come across something like, oh my God, I didn't know this baseball card was worth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hones Wagner. All right, you can pay. It was great talking to you, man. You too, brother. I've always been interested in you, and I continue to be. What are you trying to improve? Everything. Always as an artist, but mostly as a man.

Work on my patience, stay in the pocket. Not care about the parties, not care about the silence. Simplicity, quiet, learning and conversation, reading more. Listening to great people that inspire me to be greater. And really thinking about my branding and my business and what I'm gonna build and teach my kids along the way so they could build their ultimate happiness, not business. Business and success does not make you happy.

I think you have to have all those components like in alignment so that when you go through devastation, there's a balance. And you can always get back. You're going to teeter. Just get back to center. I want to get back to center quicker. My little hands, ladies and gentlemen. Please, we're going to follow you to the bathroom while we go. Thank you