Blocks w/ Neal Brennan - Phil Hanley

Episode Date: February 5, 2026

Neal Brennan interviews Phil Hanley (Spellbound: My Life as a Dyslexic Wordsmith) about the things that make him feel lonely, isolated, and like something's wrong - and how he is persevering despite these blocks. Get Phil Hanley's book: https://www.amazon.com/Spellbound-My-Life-Dyslexic-Wordsmith/dp/1250860156 00:00 Intro 00:34 Dyslexia 9:27 Upbringing 10:41 Being a Male Model 19:24 Starting Comedy 19:46 Sponsor: Huel 22:34 Sponsor: RoSparks 25:19 Sponsor: BetterHelp 27:22 Being Grateful for Dyslexia 35:10 ADHD 36:42 How he is as a Romantic Partner 46:08 Sponsor: SquareSpace 48:50 Sponsor: Warby Parker 52:08 How he sees his life progressing 58:03 Empathy 1:03:55 Goals for his life Thanks to our sponsors! Visit https://www.huel.com/Neal & use promo code NEAL for 15% off for new customers. Get harder, longer-lasting erections with Ro Sparks: $15 off first order ofmedication to get hard at http:ro.co/BLOCKS Visit https://www.betterhelp.com/NEAL for 10% off your first monthSave 10% off your first purchase at https://www.squarespace.com/NEAL Get 15% off & free shipping when you buy two pairs of glasses at https://www.warbyparker.com/NEAL ---------------------------------------------------------- Follow Neal Brennan: https://www.instagram.com/nealbrennan https://twitter.com/nealbrennan https://www.tiktok.com/@mrnealbrennan Watch Neal Brennan: Crazy Good on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81728557 Watch Neal Brennan: Blocks on Netflix: https://www.netflix.com/title/81036234 Theme music by Electric Guest (unreleased). Edited by Will Hagle Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My guest today is a guy I've known. We've sat at the comedy cellar table over a dozen times. I would bet we've spoken near each other to each other, but don't know each other very well. And he's got a book out called Spellbound, and he's on tour now with the same white, let's fucking double up spell. Let's call it the comedy tour Spellbound as well.

It's Phil Hanley, you guys. Phil Hanley, applaud for him wherever you are. Okay. Hey, Phil Hanley, nice to see you. Nice to see you. So the essence of the book, from what I understand, is being dyslexic. Yeah. Now, here's the, what I want to say about dis, you need to listen to what I need to want to say.

What I want to say about dyslexia and ADHD, it seemed like no one knew either of them. Yeah. Okay. And then people started to say they had it about 20 years ago. And it became a bit of like a garden variety of like, yeah, I'm just like, it was like, oh, I'm OCD. whatever. Yeah. It became like a thing people said.

And then in the last two or three years, people have started to come out and been like, no, this is a fucking problem. Yeah. ADHD is a real problem for me, or for people. Yeah. And dyslexia was a real problem for you. And tell me about, because it, it seems like it's, it's defining and created a domino effect over your entire life.

Yeah, it's, I mean, it's the driving force of everything that's occurred in my life is being dyslexic for sure. Which must be fucking infuriated. Well, it started. And back now, people, back then, it wasn't, people didn't even know what it was. And when I finally got tested and found out,

and my mom would be like, oh, no, he's dyslexic. The teacher's response would be like, no, I still think he's lazy and he's not trying. But it was just, you know, it's mission impossible for me. Yeah. And so kindergarten was, you know, they thought, okay, this, you know, the young man has a hope. And then, like, first day of first grade, it was just like, bang, like my version of Oliver Twist. So you look at a black, you look at the alphabet.

Yeah. Basically the crown molding of every first grade classroom. Yeah, it taunts me. Yeah. And it, what's it look like? Well, to me, it looks like a picture of letters, but for me, what it is is I can't identify. a symbol with a sound. So if I can spell a word, right, like your name, I could spell Neil, but I've just memorized that over the years. So a non-dislexic could look at like a street sign or

something and just read it. I can't even ballpark it unless it's a word that I've memorized. Like I can't. And not memorize like you sat down with cue cards. It's just repetition. Yeah. But so any word, like if I'm reading a lot, I do improve a little bit just because I've memorized more words. And do you ever take time and memorize? words that's no no god no but it just it just happens over yeah over the years you know but but for like you go to macdougal street that's where the seller is you start to realize oh that sign says mcdougal uh yeah i can i can recognize it as a picture but for example if i was inviting someone to a show at the seller and i was trying to differentiate between mcdougal and the v u i would have to

Google the word McDougal to get the spelling of McDougal. I can't spell the word McDougal, even though I've been going to that street every night for 12 years or something. So you must have, your life must have been terror. Yeah, if school from first grade to the end, you're stupid and lazy. Absolutely, 100%. And then they put me in special ed with kids that were, you know, more severe. Their university includes social skills and stuff like that.

But I understood, I'm like, oh, no, this is a huge stigma to this. I understood how shitty it was to be in special ed. And it was of no, it didn't, it made me a worse student. It didn't help anything. So they didn't know what you had. No, well, by that time, they would have known the word dyslexia, but they didn't have any, they didn't any special techniques or anything. It was just really easy school.

It was like school to make you less smart than you were before you arrive type thing. And did it help you with your self-esteem? Oh, God. No, it destroyed. It destroyed myself. Meaning the school being good. And you're like, I'm acing this special ed. No, no, because we were studying my first special ed experience.

They took me out of my school and they put me in a different, you know, section of my hometown of Canada. And the teacher, the first part of the year, we learned Christmas carols, which I'm just like, this is fucking ridiculous. And then second year, we built a, we we weaved a placemat. So it was like Christmas carols and then kind of like simulated. Christmas carols and. September. Yeah, like starting.

In May as well? No, and then after Christmas, we, we did, we woven a place mat. Like, it was, I was a kid being like, I can't read, but this is insane. Like, this is like a make-believe sweatshop. Okay. Well, was this a unique experience or were like hundreds of thousands of dyslexic kids experiencing this at the same time? Yeah, I would assume, I mean, back then, now you hear about programs and special schools for kids with neurodiversity and stuff like that. Back then, I don't know if they existed. They certainly didn't exist in my hometown. It was Canada?

Yeah, Osher, Ontario. Yeah. Okay. And did you, what do they do with dyslexic kids now? I mean, I think there's some encouragement and there's some, they recognize now that dyslexics do excel at different things. What do they excel at? I mean, I don't believe you. There's a ton.

There's a great, in Malcolm Gladwell's book, David and Glythe, there's a great chapter on people that are dyslexic that have excelled. Oh, I know a lot of people. I actually, right, I agree with that part. I'm just wondering what are the specific categories. A lot of artistic stuff. We do something they call 3D thinking. So there's a lot of dyslexic architects and stuff like that. So like I can diagnose if someone comes to me and says like, I think that my kid might be dyslexic, they're really struggling reading.

I'm like, what's their personality like? And they're like, oh, they're really outgoing. They're great socially and all this. I'm like, yeah, they're dyslexic. Because we do well socially and stuff like that. Does it feel like you're overcome? I mean, it's probably not conscious, but does it feel like you're like, fuck, okay. How do I get them to not?

Yeah, I mean, I think just human nature, like for me, I would stare at a page and not know what was going on in class, right, for two hours or whatever. Then I would, they would answer, ask questions. I can only imagine, I can, that must have been like you're in a free fall. It's like, you know, when you're, if you're hanging out with two people, there's three of you and two of them speak like Italian. Yeah. they start shooting the shit in Italian.

And it's the most boring five minutes of your life. You're just like, what the fuck are they talking about? That's what school is like every single day until you're done school, all day, every day. And then you're penalized for it and called dumb and stuff like that. But you just, it's just not the way your brain works. Math? I was really, this is the thing that was a bummer. I was really good in math.

But then because I was in, you know, basic subjects or remedial subjects for English or they just put me in remedial math too. My math teacher was the fucking gym teacher. Like it was bad. Yeah. And word problems. They could, they could. Soon as X represented something, I was out, man, because I couldn't spell represent. And they wouldn't fucking, I remember my mom. I remember in third grade, I got zero on a geography test. And we had to name the provinces. And I would draw what I knew the word Saskatchewan look like. And you could like identify this kid, no, that he's trying to say this is a scotch one and they would just get zero so because i couldn't spell i would fail everything and my mom would be like so clearly he is spelling the yukon here or drawing the yucon and they'd be like

yeah we if we did that for him we'd do that we'd have to do that for everybody so okay so then what do you think this is the biggest block by the way i think we've ever had i can't think of a bigger more significant persistent block than like i i mean it's basically like not illiteracy but it's kind of close yeah it's close i mean dude for to get here on this today i've been thinking about this for three days to like and i had which part the getting the add the time and then the address from my hotel to to getting the from the my publicist would say be here for neal and then i would get the 8-2-2-8 you know your address into the uber app and get it right because if i i could get it wrong and i would just end up in

another part of town you know i would assume that copying and pasting has been a godsend or no? Yeah, like when I can, but I can't copy and paste from like a PDF to the Uber app, you know? So when I can, it's definitely. I think you could actually. Oh, really? Just so you know. Oh, okay.

I think you can. Okay. It also affects my computer ability. Yeah, I believe it. It's whatever. I think you're stupid. It's fine. Yeah, I kind of think everybody's stupid.

finally a real reason thank you do you okay so what did you think what do you think was going to happen to you well what's funny what's funny is okay tell the people this story because it's you've had a funny life well i am from it's a tough town it's a hockey automotive town ashua and i think my parents were concerned i got so lucky because my mom advocated for me. She went every year at the end of school and would talk the teachers into not failing me. They wanted to fail me every year, first grade, second grade, like every year they wanted to fail me. And then my dad, to my dad, what was really important is that we showed up for dinner on Friday, Saturday. We'd have a big family dinner. We'd invite friends. And that I had to be funny.

And that was appreciated. And that's what I say to parents of this, like, kids, I'm like, find what they're good at and encourage that. Because if you, you were going to have a low self-esteem because school, you're told you're dumb every day. And not only, like, report cards aren't subtle. You know, it's right there in front of your face. And you need to find what your kid who has a nerd diversity is good at and really celebrate that. And my parents did that. But that's not what happened to you, though.

No, well. You didn't, I'm thinking about you were a model. Oh, yeah. I mean, well, okay, yeah. So I, so, but I had, so when I was a kid growing up, I had some. faith that I could do something. Did you just think I'm on a conveyor belt

and I'm headed toward a giant blade? Were you in the blade? Yeah, the blade was real close to my throat, I would say. What was it? Just... Just, I mean, I knew I really wanted to get out of my small town and I didn't know what I was

going to do and anything that was like you could, like a report card, I did terrible. Sports, I did terrible. Anything when there was a scoreboard, but when I looked back, I was always funny and had social skills and had good friends and all those things. So that saved me. And I had a family that never once questioned if I was intelligent or that I would be successful. No one really guided me to the direction. No one really knew what I was going to do. So my friends finished high school. They went to college and I applied for a job at the convenience

store, the bodega across from my high school, didn't get it. And which would have been exactly what the teachers thought I was going to do in my life. And then I had a friend who was a model. And I came to visit her in New York just on a whim for a weekend. Were you, it was Amber Valletta, right? It was Shalom Harlow, I'm sorry. Who was best friends with Amber. Right.

That's back when I used to follow the models. You had to because there was so little culture that they said models were supermodels. Yeah. And then we would all go, you would be interested in them, and they basically brought nothing but their faces and bodies to culture. I'm sure fine women all. But just like, that's how little culture there was that you would just, you would fixate on these people,

and then you'd pick five or six TV shows, and you'd watch them over and over and over again. Exactly, yeah. So anyhow, so you go to near, are you trying to, you trying to sleep with her? No, no, we were really close. She was just part of my friends growing up. And I went just to hang with her. And we're still actually really close.

But she was like, oh, you should be a model. And we did, I did, she hooked it up and I did a couple test shoots. And then my look at the time, it was like when they wanted like guys that look like they do drugs. Yep. And I have a joke where I go, it look like you do drugs. I'll do you one better because I, you know, was partaking at the time. And in America, they wanted the all-American kind of like Tommy Hill figure guys. back then.

Yep. And so I moved to Europe and did that for four years. Where they wanted guys who looked like they did drugs. Exactly. Yeah. And you did actual drugs? By that time I had kind of stopped, but I did. What were we doing?

I started doing, like, drinking and stuff like that and doing acid and stuff when I was like really early, early teens. Okay. So, but not cocaine. No. I just think cocaine. When I think of drugs, I think of cocaine. Like everything else.

But back then, like LSD, now it's like if you do LSD, you expect the person to be dressed and head to toe Luna Lemma. You know what I mean? Now it's like enlightened moms. But back then, even acid was like a dirty thing. And I remember having a therapist and being like, yeah, like I just felt like I was doing a lot of drugs back then. It's like that.

And he was like, of course you were doing a lot of drugs. You had gone through the equivalent trauma of like three divorces by the age nine. When you discovered something that would take you to another dimension, you fucking held on to a dear life. And it's true. On acid, you could read perfectly, correct? I'm kidding. Unbelievable.

Yeah. I got my PhD. What's funny to me is I did ask it in high school. I don't know. I guess I don't see it as like I never thought it was that crazy. But I think it's just regional. Yeah, absolutely. Whatever your neighborhood was.

Okay, so then you become a model for four years in Europe, ages what to what? I guess, yeah, it would have been like, say 20 to like 24 or something like that or like maybe I started one and 17. Was that fun? Was it a better, was it a good part of your? life? Well, yeah, I mean, it was not the modeling part. It was weird because as a model, I almost don't want you to be able to read. No. Yeah, no, that's a pre-exit.

But they, no, for me, it was like, I, from where I was from and for who the people I idolized, I really thought it was like one step away from being in a boy band. Like, I really thought it was like an uncool thing to do. Well, that's what's funny. A male model is, I mean, I don't envy

you. I don't, no guy really respects it. No. It's like, I didn't. Yeah, it's like being, it's almost like playing professional basketball in China. Like, oh, cool. Like, it's like kind of like a conversation ender. We just go, okay. Yeah.

You're a male model. Okay. It wasn't so, but it was weird because I didn't fit in in school, the scholastic part. And then modeling, I certainly didn't. Because I thought it was so ridiculous. And I'm like, we're wearing someone else's dockers. And this is funny. And no one else thought it was funny.

People took it really seriously. And I did that for four. years. But I always think back that when I decided to quit, my parents encouraged that, which is like crazy because it was- Quit-miling? Yes, because it was either that or like dig trenches. Like I really wasn't qualified to do anything. But I did, I lived in England, which I loved, and I'm playing England soon and I still have my friends from back then and stuff like that. So, it was a great experience. And as far as like those years that you're supposed to learn shit in college, I, you know, learned a ton living in Milan and Paris in London.

So good experience, money, fine. Yeah. Like, nothing happened, but it was like a fun thing to do. Yeah, it was great. But what it did was, my dad didn't care for his job when I was a kid. And I was just... He was in the insurance business. Yeah, he was also a model.

He's dyslexic mom. But so I was just like hell-bent on having a job that I liked. Yeah. And then what modeling did was... I would meet photographers and stylists and people who were so pat like a photographer that was like, I got a camera when I was six and I knew this is what I wanted to do.

So I was like, fuck, what do I want to do? And so that's why I quit modeling. I kind of quit when I started kind of making some dough and stuff because I was like so hell bent on finding my thing, you know? What's good dough as a male model? I mean, some of those dudes make crazy money, but I mean, you would get like, you know,

you'd cut, For when you start, you do like a fashion show. Say you did Armani fashion show. You'd get paid what you would get for one fashion show, what a comic would get their first kind of headlining weekend. You know what I mean? Well, tell people because it would be like, you know, like 1,500 bucks or 1,800 bucks, something like that.

To me, was just like, oh, yeah. And then I started catalog stuff. You make a ton of money. You know, you could make like 10 grand in a week or something like that. And I did my first cataloged. My last job was my first catalog job. I went to Germany and I tried it on. on like 400 winter coats in like, you know, two weeks or whatever, sorry, two days.

I find trying on getting fitted, truly the most, on just so soul-destroying. It's skeevy. You're just like, yeah, just like, I hate this. Dude, when you're modeling, they pull you around. First off, there's always a language barrier. And they, yeah, they pull you around and they like, you know. Yeah. Just they need to get the shot.

Taking pants off and on is the, is, I truly would rather dig trenches than take pants off and on? And that, yeah, so I, yeah, I tried on coats and then, and then. Coats I could deal with, I, it's pants to get me. You're going to have to wear pants. Yeah, yeah, it's a pain in the ass. Oh, look, I'll model, but only if I don't do it. No, fans.

But yeah, so, and then that, I, I did a commercial. I did a Pontiac commercial. In America? No, it was in England. Okay. Sylvester Stallone did the voiceover. It was like a big, budget thing. Made traditional luxury.

Rest in peace. luxury with attitude the bonapult by ponniac i was like maybe acting is a thing you know because it was like a little bit acting in it and i took an improv class in this weird church basement in england in king's cross the neighborhood yep and i got up my first pop from this mixed bag of just you know this motley crew of improv people and i got a pop and it was this weird epiphany i pop like a big laugh i got a laugh yeah and i was like holy shit this feels identical to making my friends and family laugh my whole life. Like it felt good.

It felt as good as making my dad laugh. And so I was like, that's it. I wanted to do comedy. And I moved to Vancouver and started comedy. How old are you then? I would have been like 24 or 5. And you decided Vancouver over Toronto? That's where my parents had retired and moved there.

And there was a thing, there was like an improv scene. So I started, I did some improv. And then finally I tried standing. up and then stop doing improv and just focused on stand-up. Guys, can you believe we're already one month into 2026? That doesn't mean it's time to move away from your goals. Nah, not this year. Lock in.

He'll, that's where Heel comes in. Heel is a perfect solution for high protein routine routine support, busy days, habit building, convenience, and control in 2026. This is the year. you show the haters that they were wrong about you. When do I use Hewle? Again, used it before they were a sponsor. You know, it's true.

I don't like breakfast. I've been clear about this, right? But what I will do is I'll have one of the Hewle, the ready-to-drinks. They're like a soda. I'm going to get one right now. Hold on. Told you.

Told you I had it. See? This is how you have to do it in a commercial. I've done it before it, You have to hold it like this. Very awkward. But good for commercial. I just don't want to have to like, you know, people say cooking relaxes them.

I'm going to be honest, guys, cooking stresses me out. Takes too long. Whatever is supposed to be meditation. I got stuff I need to do. I, you know, I work out. Doesn't look like it, but I do. It does look like it if I take my shirt up, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to give you that.

It's just a good thing to have. I got a fridge full of them. I got the powder. I got the powder. Pretty good. It's been open. I don't lie. Here you go. Now I got it on my pants. I hope you're happy. Now you have to buy it or you're mean to me. I'll get a salad won't be in a protein. I'll throw a ready to drink black edition. Cool name. Cool drink. Chocolate. They get chocolate and vanilla. I'll mix them up is what I'll do. Because I like a little mix. I believe they have a strawberry as well. I do that easily two days. I do that easily two days.

a week. Like I said, don't like cooking. I've been on protein a long time because as a vegan, people always ask you like, where do you get your protein? Stop it. So I cut them, I cut them off in the past. So if you're trying to stay consistent, this combo makes it stupid easy. There's a limited time offer. Get Huell today with my exclusive offer of 15% off online with my code N-E-A-L at H-U-E-L. That's H-U-E-L. dot com slash any ao. Hewell like fuel. Hule.com slash any ao.

New customers only. Thank you to Huel for partnering and supporting our show. And when they got you in post checkout and they're like, how'd you hear about us? Tell them. Neil. Your friend Neil.

Hey guys. Look, you know how you, you want to talk about how women can sense confidence in the bedroom. And they can. But I think what's more important is like knowing you can deliver and not like you got a good technique. I don't doubt that you got a real nice technique. What I'm talking about is like,

can you get a reliable boner? And you know who you can apple with a reliable an erection? A reliable erection boner is a row of sparks. I try to use all the products I endorse here, guys, and I don't want to get to make my business, your business. I love this kind of what this whole podcast is about. I used it, guys, I enjoyed it. Here's some talking points.

They're basically, Roast Parks are a 2-1-1 prescription treatment for guys who want to get harder and have more controlled erections. Who doesn't want a more controlled erection? You know what I mean? Basically, they're sublingual. So it's like a little thing, stick it under your tongue, and they hit the bloodstream fast

because they dissolve under the tongue and you get harder. They basically, 15 minutes. and you're ready to go. Because a lot of these things, you take it, you got to time it where it's like, I don't know, this, I mean, they may kick in for an hour and a half,

and then you don't want to get, you don't want to, you don't want to jinx yourself, and this will, you know 15 minutes out, whether you're going to do it or not. Do you know what I mean? It's not, you, an hour and a half feels

you're being cocky, and this is like, this is just being smart. You're like, when you're in the zone, you can tell she's ready. And then 15 minutes, you can do stuff to her that doesn't require,

direction, wink. They work in 15 minutes on average. They get a dual action formula that stays in the system for up to 36 hours. If prescribed, new sexual health patients get $15 off their first order of sparks on a recurring plan. Connect with the provider at row.co. That's row.com to find out if prescription row sparks are right for you. That's row. dot co slash blocks for $15 off your first order. Sparks is a compounded drug product. Compounded drugs are permitted to be prescribed under the federal law but are not FDA approved and do not undergo FDA safety effectiveness or manufacturing review. For full safety information, go to row.com slash safety info. That's row.com slash safety info. Get yourself a nice boner. Help yourself to

nice boner. Ro sparks, row.com slash blocks. Bye. This show was sponsored by BetterHelp. Look, it's Valentine's Day month, which is a lot of I call it Christmas for girls. It's a lot of flowers, candy, stuff, animals, and of course, lots of talk about relationships and who are you, you gonna, you're gonna meet up, who's your special somebody? And no matter where you are, whether you're married or dating or single or just focusing on you, you're right on time, dog. Therapy can help you find your way and see more clearly where you want to be.

Here's a story about me. My whole thing was just about like, is it okay that I'm single? I just felt like I was a jerk for being single and I was toxic and I was emotionally unavailable. And then I found the right lady. And it turns out I wasn't a jerk. I was just waiting for a person

I wanted to spend all my time with. No big deal. Don't mind me. I also asked somebody, what should I do when married people look at me with pity? And they said, look at them with pity right back. Pretty good. And also within relationships, like, you know, couples therapy, therapy on your own,

talking about your partner, you know, there's literally, it's pretty, relationships are a pain. They're like loaded. So whether you feel bad about being alone, you feel bad about not being the perfect partner, you feel bad about, you feel bad about, being wanting to ask for something or feeling like you're right to ask but you feel guilty and have I any and do I have the right am I am I toxic? No one feels confident in like where they are like I'm you know you feel good for like

two or three days and then you're like I don't know so that's why there's better help that's why that's why we're here sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com slash any al that's betterhelp.com slash N-E-A-L. Better help. It's, come on. Come on. It's therapy. Come on.

Come on, dog. What's funny is thinking about your act, what the last time I said, you close with reading. We broke up over the telephone. And to end the show, I would love to read a transcript of that final conversation.

Which I know you understand the irony. Yeah, yeah. I don't close with that bed anymore. You would take out a bit. It was like a text to go. girl had sent you or an email. It was a breakup. She broke up on me over the phone.

It was a transcript of our breakup. Oh, got it. OK. Yeah. So yeah. For the honesty to fucking crush. Yeah. Rest assured it would crush.

I don't mean yeah, crush. But yeah, that's what I would do. Yeah. This is so hard. You're such a great guy. And I love that you still live with your parents. So there's absolutely no care for dyslexia. Doesn't matter how much money you have.

Nothing matters. No. I mean, if now they're saying that if you Recognize it really young, you can kind of help your kid learn to read, but that all didn't exist for me. That's what I've heard. I haven't experienced that. Yeah. I certainly talk to kids that are battling dyslexia, and it, it, they sounds like they're

having a very similar experience to me. It, like, I fight back tears when I talk to these kids because they're trying so hard. Yeah. You try so hard. And now there's more pressure to go to university and stuff like that. And I listen to these kids. It is so heartbreaking. And they're like, I write my stuff out.

on Bristol board and I do all these things and they work so much harder than kids that can just naturally read. And they're penalized and they're disrespected and they're called lazy and it's like you know, they're working a million times harder. So yeah, it's really heartbreaking. But yeah, I mean, it's just something that you have your whole life. And are, okay, does it free you up from having to read books in a good way? I force myself to read every day. But, but, But it could. I mean, it's a good excuse not to read. And what do you force yourself to read?

Just anything? No, I mean, there's certain. There's certain things that I can read. Charles Berkowski I can read because it's real like boom, boom, boom. Okay, so you prefer short sentences. My understanding is you can't really see the middle of the word or you? I can see, no, I mean, it's different for a lot of people, but I can see the word. But again, it's like, if I'm reading a book, someone's name, I blow past it.

street name, I blow past it. But the best way to describe me... I mean, as a able reader, if I'm reading Asian names, go fuck yourself. I'm literally... I'll remember one of them. Yeah. Like, my aunt, this person,

that I'm like, I can't... I'm not used to these letters, and I don't know how to pronounce the name anyway. They're all Asian names to me, man. So, yeah, so... This is the best way that I can describe it is, I remember when Obama put out his first book and I was really excited to read it.

I wanted to hear his story. And the way he writes, for me, my dyslexia, it's so, because he'd be like, yeah, I saw Neil and I hadn't seen Neil and then all of a sudden you would go back to the first time we met at the comedy seller. And I'm just like, what the fuck is going on? Audio books?

So is it just a word? Audio books, obviously. I listen to audiobooks, but it doesn't, they don't captivate you and they don't take you to the same place that reading a book does. So I just have to be, I buy a lot of books, and sometimes I can start it and be like, oh, okay, I can finish this one.

But sometimes, like the first Obama was just like, there's just no way. I would love to know this story. And you have like a day to sell it and get your money back. Or, I mean, I don't know what Amazon. I just have a pile. I just have a pile on my floor. That's how you know you live in New York because you sit on your floor. Yeah.

Do you, okay, okay, how's your self-pity level? It's funny. I mean, I was pretty miserable as a kid. I mean, my friends probably wouldn't say that, but I was like, there's no way that it wasn't, I wasn't depressed from like seven till, you know, whatever. And then you finish school and it's still like, it's like when someone like gets out of jail

and they're still, you know, experiencing trauma from being incarcerated. I was still fucked up for many, many years. But now I mean, I have such an appreciation for dyslexia. Like my book starts very dark and ends very light because I'm so grateful. I mean, there's no way in a. million years I would be here right now talking to you or doing stand-up or being able to get sweet

tickets to the dead this weekend. Like I, it's everything that I cherish is because I'm dyslexic. I'm so grateful that I'm dyslexic. So you believe that the dyslexia led you to the rest of your life? Absolutely, yeah. And it's not a trick. It's just like, that's what that that's the sequence of your life. Would you be it? And it took a long time to appreciate it. When I finished. You'd still be stuck modeling. Well, I, yeah, I don't know what if I didn't find comedy and stuff, but like, ending, writing the book was a really, I hold like a lot of resentment to the teachers that, because it's not only that they mistreat me, but I'm like, who mistreats a kid?

You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh, of course. They're, it's, it's unbelievable. They chose to spend their life working with children and then treating one in particular like shit. Like, so when I finished the book, it felt like closure and it felt like I finally proved those bastards wrong. Yeah. You know? So, yeah, really finishing it and selling it and being able to like talk about it and stuff, really it put a lot of closure and made me.

I have such an appreciation for being dyslexic now. Yeah, it's funny. You think about the way the world used to be and I don't know. I'm sure lots of the world still, the Western world. is is the like cruelty toward kids was sort of just built in yeah it was like this weird sadism toward children yeah which i get like teach the children well whatever but but uh spare the rod spoil the child all that shit from the bible but it seems it seemed like a pretty easy thing to stop yeah that they just didn't want to stop because it was a it was like uh it was a cheap

It's a cheap thrill or something for adults, I think. Yeah, it was so, it's so weird because it's something that anyone can, everyone was a kid, you can relate. Yeah, it's so odd. It's a very odd thing because my, my girlfriend has a son and, like, dealing with him, I'm like, I get, like, a little testy sometimes because he's four or five and that's just the, they're like a little, they're crazy. Yeah. But I don't get that testy. No. Like, I understand, like, what's happening.

Yeah, because he's trying to figure. stuff out. Yeah. Um, but yeah, they used to not care. No. They used to see it as like an opportunity to be shitty that they enjoyed taking. Yeah, like they grab. I mean, they made kids work in minds at one point. Well, that I get that I, that I get in that like, it's cheap labor. It's free labor. I like, I understand like the, the simple equation of that, but like being mean to a kid, it implies that there's something satisfying about being mean I don't again I'm no saint but like

I feel pretty shitty pretty quickly when I mean to anybody of course but a kid because you know they're just trying to figure it out yeah you know all right so you had so what's great about life is you it's a problem

that you make peace with but then you've got I'm assuming lots of other problems yeah emotional problems and just general problems. Well, yeah, because... Tell me about some of those. That's what the podcast is about.

Well, it's funny. I got asked to do a talk to kids with ADHD, and I was like, I was like, oh, I don't have... First of all, they're not going to listen. I don't, yeah, exactly. I don't have ADHD, but... And they're like, well, you know, related to dyslexia. I watched a YouTube video for, like, 30 seconds on ADHD, ADHD.

And I was like, oh, I have ADHD. Oh, that's funny. And telling my mom, and my mom's like, oh, dear, yeah, you're just... dyslexia was so bad, we didn't even want to, like, bring that up. So, yeah, and I have OCD, so I have dyslexia, ADHD, and OCD. Wow. Yeah, so all the things that I kind of began with, I inadvertently cover them.

Okay, so ADHD, what's that, what's that doing? Well, to me, it's funny, I've just developed all this, all these coping things. My ADHD, dyslexia is so in the forefront that I don't even, does. It doesn't even, a lot of things made sense when I learned that I had ADHD. And a lot of things like, for one, when I write jokes and I force myself to write every day, I always play music. I always play The Grateful Dead. And I used to think to myself like, there's no way Seinfeld is Blair in the Dead when he's writing. I'm being lazy or whatever.

And then I found out, oh, no, with ADHD, it actually helps you focus having music or having some. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah. So, yeah, you just kind of develop, I've just kind of developed little things. Like hacks to get around it? Yeah, yeah, totally. And how is your, how are you as a romantic partner? I think I'm good. What do they think?

They think I'm great. Is that real? No, I think so. I mean, I think I'm a good partner. I think there are, I think there are certain things that are like, my current girlfriend is like, um was like i want you to like plan a date for us and i'm like okay but for me it's like hour you know looking at trains and look at it's not it's not for you it's for every guy who because yeah go on it's just a lot but yeah but yeah i'm also especially for you i would say yeah and i so i think

dating me is a somewhat unique experience because i'm sure they've never been with a man that like can't spell appreciate or wednesday or you know what i mean yeah Um, but, uh, do voice notes help you? Uh, or speech to text, anything? Uh, a little bit, but speech to text, I don't fully trust because sometimes, Oh, and then you got to read it. Yeah. And then sometimes you get it wrong.

And I can't, um, you know, I like that that's the thing you just need to accept that there's going to be times where you appear dumb, like, or unintelligent because you can't, I'll, yeah, I'll get the wrong word. or I'll get the... What is the... Okay, walk me through the acceptance of that, because that's a thing... Chappelle used to have a very easy thing

if we'd be talking or I'd text him a word, or I'd text him something, and he'd whatever, and he'd go, I went to D.C. public schools. I don't know what that means. Right? It's just a simple sort of... It's an easy way to say, I don't know that word.

By the way, he's obvious... I'm not saying this. Like, this idiot, I'm just saying, like, one of the smartest guys I know, one of the smartest guys anyone knows would just go, I don't know what that word is. And he had a simple, just DC Public Tools. Yeah. That was his, it was like a catch-all,

it's a decent bit for, I don't know that word. Yeah. Do you have those? Oh, I just, I mean, anyone I interact with throughout the day knows I'm dyslexic. The lady that I ordered lunch from knew I was dyslexic. How? Because I'll just be like, hey, I'm dyslexic,

like, you know, is this, what, is that? Because I, like, a mistake that I do. Do people think you're, kind of like, I'm dyslexic. Do they think you're being cute? I don't know. I think they might know, I'm sincere. But like, say, artichokes and anchovies, very different eating experience.

Sure. I couldn't, if anchovies committed a crime, I couldn't identify it. Like, you know what I mean? Like, it's. Yep. Artichokes go to jail. Yeah. So.

For a long time. Yeah, absolutely. Antchovies raped a lot of people. They're evil. Yeah. Um, did you, uh, do you, would I have no shame. I've no, I just accept it. So you just don't even, it's literally just like, hey, I don't speak English. It's go back to the English thing of like, I don't speak your language. Absolutely. And I have no shame and I'm proud that I own it and I'm

proud that I don't feel shame. It helps what really helped is stand up because like a, stand up was the first thing ever in my life, ever, ever, ever, that if, if, The more I put into it, the more I got out of it. If I wrote every day, I got some new bits. I know. It's disappointingly fair. Do you know what I mean? It's fair. And like, okay, so it really is up to how hard I work.

It won. I can't, I can pretend it's like, oh, they got, they don't want people like me. No, if you work, whoever, all the Hall of Fame is the most prolific joke writers. Yeah, it's, it's busting your ass and it's doing the shit that you don't like. Like, people like, oh, I hate. listening to my sets. Well, that's a huge problem because whatever you don't like, you have to accept that it's all part of the thing that you love

and just it's part of it, you know? Yeah. But, yeah, so that's, it's the only thing that's ever had that. And it's working at stand-up, even more so than, like, exercise or something like that because you can, like, sprain your arm or pull a muscle, whatever. Stand-up, no, you just, the harder you work, the more you get out of it. When you say you write every day, do you, how do you, do you write shit down? Yeah.

It's, because you meet stand-ups that are like, it's all in their head. No, but I'm, but they're not, I'm saying with the dyslexia, can you write and spell and everything, yeah, I mean my approach to life. If it's a huge pain in the ass, then that feels right to me. That feels what I should be doing. So, yeah, I write, I type into my computer. I'm not asking as like, how do you do stand-in? I'm asking what to how do you specifically do it with your. Yeah.

Well, I, like I, I, I have the most disorganized system, but I, I'll, I'll write out in my computer,

I'll write, type it in my computer, misspelled. No one would know what the fuck I'm saying. Then I'll take those jokes and kind of like, write them out a bunch to like, like, filter out and get rid of extra words.

And then I'll just pace and try to memorize it. But it's, it's a pain in the, like for someone who's dyslexic and for someone who, I improvise a ton in between jokes. My jokes are memorized to the T. And I'm, when I see a comic that tells it different each time, I'm just like, holy shit.

Yeah. Because I'm so in between the jokes, I'm so loose. I've never, that thing of comics to tell their jokes differently, I've heard people brag that they tell their jokes differently. I'm like, no, you don't. Because jokes work, there's one way to say it that works better than other ways. And I don't believe that anyone. knows about the funniest way to say it and doesn't say it that way.

I've seen, I saw Nate, Nate Bogotsi, who's so obviously amazing. He, I saw him at the cellar working on a Tonight Show set. And I've heard him say that. And then I saw him at the Cellar. I think I heard him say that. But I've seen it, my eyes. He did a joke. It killed at the cellar.

Then I saw him on Tonight Show the next day. And it was slightly different. Yeah. And I was amazed at that. I almost can't. I would say he is the exception. but I still would argue that there's a way to say it that's better

than other ways. In fact, I said a joke of his on here and then had him send me a video of how to say the joke. Have you heard Napar Gatsy's joke about that? No. It's basically talking about how a dumb our brains are. And it's like, so if one part of your brain tells your mouth to smile, another part of your brain will be happy.

And it's like, didn't you hear The conversation in the other part of the brain. Like, you're right there. All right. That's kind of the joke, Neil. I don't think you did it. Me didn't do it great. We're in Tennessee at so you know I'm from Tennessee.

You have a smart part, smart part and a dumb part. I'm going to mess it up now. You had a smart part and a dumb part. And if you're in a bad mood, the smart part, they tell you the fake smile, and then your brain will think you're in a good mood. It's like how dumb is the dumb part that you can, like it's right, they're all in the same hit. It's the same brain.

So how's it not like, yeah, I hear all this planning going on? That's the gist of the jury. I think I might have done it worse than you did. So there's a correct way to say the joke. Yeah. Yeah, but I saw him. Yeah, no, I'm with you. The words.

Was he, did it get funnier or worse? It got, it was like the same. Yeah, okay. But I agree with you. I think there is, he is the exception. Yeah. Because I don't, I think his, yeah, his is all sort of like about finding what his brain means. Yeah.

Or like, what am I experiencing? Yeah. So I think it would work for him. But, but, okay, so, so what are your, so you're a decent boyfriend, but can't plan, can't write notes, which is a 40% of boyfriend. Yeah. Driving's a bit of a problem too. Yeah. Well, what do you do?

Uber? Yeah, I mean like in LA right now Uber everywhere But would you say things are getting better For people that are dyslexic In the world generally Or there's people Because of computers is my point

And automation Because for me I really struggle Maybe like I really struggle Uh using Using computers and stuff like that And but One thing that really helped me I was a terrible driver

Like death defying GPS really helps me because before I'm driving and reading signs, which is insane. It's like cooking a meal and juggling. Like it's like in two activities. Do you know left from right? And I don't say that like flippantly. I know. No, no. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, um, yeah. I'm, um, yeah, I do. I do. That's a, that's a, that can be a dyslexic or a nerd. That's a pretty common neurodivergent thing. Yeah. Absolutely. But I'll struggle a little bit. Like for like if my, if I'm like exercising and I have a trainer or something and they're like lunch and they want me to put my foot backwards and I'll go I'll do the opposite

I think that's a lot of people oh really okay just yeah just seeing I'm letting off of oh good congratulations you're not as divergent as you think you're still very divergent guys this podcast is sponsored by Squarespace okay you deal with Squarespace at all you should because it's like the basically the top maybe the greatest uh, website design platform ever, like in terms of like for an easy to use, like, I don't know a ton about computers, I don't know a ton about graphics, I don't know a ton about websites, I don't know a ton about any of this stuff. This is like the one-stop shop for everything. It's the, it's like the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online.

Basically, there used to be a lot of, you used to have to like go to a lot of, you used to have to like go to a of different websites to get like email integration a mailing list a domain names graphic layout things you had to know programs you had to know i think i think python was python a thing you needed to know you need to know c plus you need to you need to you need to have a lot of talent that you didn't necessarily have or care to learn and now you can do it like basically square base square space makes it's super, super easy to do it. They got a collection of cutting edge design tools. Anyone can build a beautiful professional online presence.

They got analytics so you can see how many people are clicking on, what they're doing on the website, how you can sit like if they looked at tickets in my case and then didn't buy anything. What's their problem? Merch, you know, I don't sell merch. Somebody asked me why I don't sell merch and I said, because I have enough money and the world has enough garbage. So, a lot to think about it. But I do need people to come, which is why an email campaign, again, that's another, you used to have to go somewhere else for an email campaign

with Squarespace email campaigns, all your tools you need to engage clients, promote your services, and grow your business are built in. You can set up email automation to stay connected, nurture some leads, and save time while seamlessly integrating your offerings into a beautifully designed template that drives booking and sales. You can schedule your emails ahead of time, time zone, blast, whatever you got to do, bro. They got you. Here's the call to action. This buckle up, guys, I got to get serious. Head to squarespace.com slash any al for a free trial, and when you're ready to launch, use offer code NEAL to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Do it. Squarespace. Do it. Do it. Do it. Squarespace.com slash nail. Bye.

Guys, do you see it? I've been flirting with this brand a long time, guys. I often go into their store, try on glasses, and then end up getting distracted. And I could never really find the right pair. And then recently, I was walking past one. I was like, yeah, I'm always up for frames. I don't really buy anything. And then I went in there.

tried a bunch on. Now, the funny thing about try a glass on, when they're wrong, they're wrong. That's like you want to throw them off your face in a split second. The other thing about eyeglasses is they're so expensive you want to punch somebody in the face,

which is the thing I didn't know about. So the thing about Warby Park, that's great, it's, you go in there, they got a lot of, they got a lot of IRL stores, brick and mortar, as we used to call it. I bought these glasses, swear to God, and a week later, they came on as a sponsor. I mean, if that's not kismet,

I don't know what is. They got good styles. They got like, oh, these are cool, these are cool, these are cool. They don't have really anything dorky. So this is my first pair, and I got to say, pretty successful. I did the eye test there, and then they sent them to me. I don't know, no complaints for me. I look cute. They got a virtual try-on thing, which I didn't do this time. I didn't realize. But you can, you put you load in a picture, I think from a few different angles and they show you what the glasses will look like, uh, on your face. Guys, these are Hardy in Honey Amber. Hardy in Honey Amber. Uh, yeah, they're cute, cute as hell. I wish I had more to say.

They just work. I don't know what to tell you. Like, I've been wearing them for a few days. Like, they're great. I don't think about them. They're cute. They're not giant frames because when I'm on stage, I don't want to cover my, my beautiful eyes. It's storytelling. A lot of, so much storytelling in my eyes. And my girl likes them. And you can tell they're made with good stuff. It's not garbage.

It's good. And, oh, by the way, the price, the other thing I didn't realize about glasses, they're so expensive. It's, and these are like, oh, these is what glasses should cost. And then the prescription is cheaper than it would be normal. I don't know where I've been going, but this is like the first time it felt like fair. So that's where I'm going to be going. Warby Parker gives you quality and better looking prescription eyewear at a fraction of the going

price. Our listeners get 15% off plus free shipping when they buy two or more pairs of prescription glasses. Warby Parker, W-A-R-B-R-K-E-R dot com slash any A-O-L. That's 15% off when you buy two. Two pairs of glasses at Warbyparker.com. After you purchased, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please tell them it was from me.

It would mean a lot. These are great. They're really good. I don't know if you can, I'm going to get closer. So you can really sit. Let me switch angles. Pretty cute. Pretty cute.

Okay. Good job. All right. Thank you. Bye. How do you see your life progressing? Like, are you happy with how it's going? Yeah, I feel good.

I mean, I... Because you were like at this... Here's my interpretation of your career. Is you were doing, you were like a seller guy doing spots and seller headlining. Not really known for anything. I'm sure you did a couple TV shows. You did a... You did.

And then you seem to like develop a following on some platform. I don't know if it was Reddit or YouTube or... something, but at a certain point, I was like, oh, cool, he's doing theaters. Yeah. And I didn't, I didn't, how did that happen? And I don't say that, like, it shouldn't have. I just don't know how it happened. No, I, so I started in Canada.

And to go from Vancouver to New York City, it sounds like it's just a plane ride, but it was a lot. Yeah. I did establish myself in Canada enough to get a resume to get a work visa for the States. And my goal, when I first started comedy, I watched comedian. And Seinfeld was running spots at the comedy seller. And I was like, to get to the comedy cellar, like Mount Olympus to me. And to shoot the shit with Colin Quinn, we're like just... Yep.

I mean, it should be every comedian's dream. Yeah. So, I mean, I finally got to the cellar. And then I just was so content for years of just doing spots at the cellar. Like, I would think to myself, oh, these are the good old days. I was living in the West Village with a 75-year-old woman. And I would walk to the cellar every night. And I'd be like, this life does not get better.

How long was that? I lived with her for a couple years. Until she started getting demanding plans. Oh, we broke out. Yeah, yeah. So I, uh, oh, right, yeah. Don't worry, don't worry. It's not for, you don't have to laugh.

They barely laugh. Thank you for at least acknowledging it. I, uh, thank you. But I, like, walking down Blickers Street, it was either bad joke or she, you kept, she kept sending you the store to get anchovies, et cetera. Go on. Those two.

But so I, uh, and then, I mean, you. you know, my friends that I was, every night at a cell, all of a sudden they weren't there as much. You know, all of a sudden, like, Sam wasn't there as much, Norman wasn't there as much, because they were, you know, posting social media and stuff like that. So I, at some point, was like, okay, I got to start doing that.

So I had always done, I'd always rift. You're not saying they weren't there because they were working on their phone at home. They were touring and started doing theaters. And, you know, they were. So I, at some point, started getting really proactive with posting online. I started with Instagram.

posting clips on Instagram and stuff. And I had done, you know, I'd always done a lot of crowd work because I started working. When I started opening for people in Canada, I had about eight minutes of material and had to do half an hour. And we'd be doing these like fucking logging camps

in northern British Columbia. And there was a bar that I used to always do that had a hockey net and people had sticks and were shooting at the net in the bar. And then the UFC would finish. And while the credits, the screen was going into, the ceiling, they'd be like, Phil Hanley, and I have to do half an hour and I'd have eight minutes

of material. So I'd be like, please heckle me, please drop a glass. Everyone can beat your ass. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Absolutely. In Cologne, B.C., everyone. And you cannot really read. Yeah. Right. Sign me up. Still can't read. So I would just, when I started my, when I started doing stand-up, I would just hope for a glass to break or a waitress to get in an argument or something so I could riff. Um, anyway, so I started posting. after 20 years of kind of riffing on stage in between jokes, I started posting those in between things, and it started selling tickets.

But I had done stand-up for so long, you know, before them. So, yeah, so it just came from, like, missing Sam and Mark. Yeah. No, it came from... No, I know what you mean, though, where you're like, why are they succeed? How did they... Okay, I guess we do that now.

Again, like we were saying about working at stand-up, it was like, the thought of getting an editor having a camera in the, I was like, this is the biggest pain in the ass. Yep. But I started doing, I swear to God, I was standing, whatever feels like the biggest pain in the ass, do that, including when you have a new bit and you know what's coming up next. You're like, do I really want to disappoint these people this badly and tell them my idea? Yep.

We got to. But, yeah, so, I mean, those guys started getting, you know, Norman was kind of the first person I met in New York and stuff. And those guys started doing so well. and I just started, I was like just looking at what they were doing and they were active online and all that stuff. So I started doing that and yeah, and then miraculously started, you know, selling. Finally, there weren't six people there to see me. There was, you know, more people.

Yeah. And you make so much more money. Yeah, you make more money for sure. When people show up for you. Yeah, opposed to, I mean, no, I would do, I would know that someone was there to see me if they were wearing one of my friends merch. Like, if someone's wearing like a Tuesdays with stories shirt, I'd be like, oh, shit, I have like almost a fan. Yeah. You know.

It's like you're, it's not even your fan, but it's like adjacent to. Exactly. I'm adjacent to having some success. That's so funny. Yeah. Okay. So, so do you have any other? What issues do you have like in, in, are you late?

Are you prone to laziness and you have to overcome it every day, it sounds like? Or now it's, you just have developed the habits you won't even. Yeah, I just developed that, yeah, I don't, I don't think, I think it would be hard to have a learning disability and be lazy and get anywhere. Like, I think you just still live with your parents if that was the case. Yeah. Which I did do when I started stand up. I moved back to live with my parents. You must be very empathetic, I would think.

Yeah, it's funny. Someone asked me, what are the positives of dyslexia? And that is, I have so much empathy for people. And yeah, I really do. Because, yeah, I really, I feel so grateful. Things could have gone really differently for me if it wasn't for my mom, if it wasn't for my parents. Yeah, I always feel like most people that are, that get into,

I mean, most people in life, it's like kind of got either failed by their family or failed by society. And it sounds like you got failed by society. I mean, yeah, I didn't sound like you got failed by society. Yeah. and that made you who you are. It's funny. You, I'm 90% sure it was you that said this.

And it's in my book, I don't think I said Neil Brennan. I think I call you, because I'm not 100% sure that you did it was you. Maybe I'll remember. The way I pictured it, we're at the comedy cell at table. They're talking about another comedian

whose father passed away really young. And you were getting up to go downstairs as you were spot. And you just overheard someone said, yeah, his dad died when he was like, you know, 12 or something like that. And, and you were getting up and you go, that'll make you funny. And you walk down. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. And it's so true. I mean, look at, you know, Richard Pryor's life or look at, yeah, it does. You there's always a horrifying origin story.

But for the most part, it's very rarely, I mean, just having your parents advocate for you, your mom especially, that's a different gift that most people don't get. Yeah. A lot of time, Most of the time, if it exists at all, it's inverted, meaning the parents are abusive and a teacher takes you under your wing and shows you whatever, let you perform at the end of class or whatever. Yeah. The teachers were shitty. Teachers were shitty, yeah, across the board pretty much.

But said my last year I had a cool teacher, but yeah, it was my mom. But that's the beauty of comedy. And that's the beauty of dyslexia. And I really talk about it a lot of my book is that, like, the beauty of comedy is you take something that's shitty and you get a bit out of it it kind of makes it worthwhile. Like the bit you were saying where I would bring the woman on stage.

That was like devastating. I bombed in Regina to the KFC employees of Saskatchewan. It was a provincial thing they had there. I ate it so bad in that show, went upstairs to my hotel room to check in with my girlfriend who was flying to Vancouver to meet me the next day. And she broke out with me over the phone. Like it was devastating, but by New Year's Eve.

How did you have the transcript? Because you recorded it? No, I like, I, like, remember what she said. Oh, got it, got it, got it. But then I write it out and present it as a transcript. But it's on my Instagram if you want to check it out. Cut it with the Samarrel. Fucking Mark Norman tactics.

Enough. But yeah. So, don't you think that's the beauty of comedy? Is it something doesn't hurt as bad? if you could make other people laugh with it. It's such, and I guess, I guess it's the same. I guess you could do that with like songwriting and, you know, other things, but stand-up,

but just, there's just the irony of like, this almost killed me. And now let's celebrate this together. Do you believe in a, because of your situation, do you believe, I'm assuming you're very liberal? And I don't say that in the, in the, in the, in the, in the, the, in the, the, you know, you've ever kind of a lot of sweatshirt.

I'm saying, do you believe in, like, people need help? Oh, God, yeah. I, like, I always, I've said, I said this is my girlfriend, so many times.

I'd like, how have we accepted one person as homeless? Like, how are we cool with, like, getting into bed? And one, why is that person, like, he's not better? Like, he's, or she is suffering from mental,

they're like, oh, they don't want to be helped. They're unmedicated, and they don't really, You know, they haven't received a lot of help. They might be a little reluctant, you know, out of the gate. Yeah. But my friend of mine, a buddy of mine, Freddie DeBower is a, he's a, he's a substack guy. And he's the sharpest cultural critic I've ever read in my life.

And he has a, he just wrote a novel and it's about a woman with mental illness. And it's not glamorous. It's not, it's just about like the everyday awful slog, the bananas. the banal slog of mental illness or any sort of neuroreference. It's like it's just worse. Yeah. It's just worse, but we're so afraid of losing what we have that we don't want to help anyone below, whatever, below us.

Yeah. Like, I don't want to lose my place in line and all that shit. But it is, it's, yeah, it's, that's why the Bible exists, because people need to be reminded like, hey. Yeah. Don't be an asshole. And you're like, ah, I want to be an asshole. No.

It's so much easier. Yeah. When you, I'll go through and I stop watching it because I can't sleep when I watch it at night. But if you watch those soft white underbelly documentaries, every single one starts with someone just didn't get a fair shake at the beginning of their life. Yes. Something happened and they were let down by someone. And that's it. And that's the case with people that struggle.

Yeah. And do you, I mean, that's, yeah, the amount of people that are just lazy assholes is really small. Yeah, and chances are they have a job or, you know, or whatever. They're doing a really bad job. They're teaching first grade to me. Lazy assholes. Can you imagine? And what, so, and what are your sort of goals for your life?

Do you, what do you, are you emotional goals? Do you have personal goals? What are your goals now? Do you want to be a parent? Are you-in- Yeah, I adore kids. I'm so close. My nephew is 18 now, but when I was leaving, uh, when I was leaving Vancouver to go to New York, which was my dream.

Yeah. I was like kind of dragging my feet because I, my sister was so cool and she'd let my nephew stay up and I would put him to bed after my sets and stuff like that. And that was so hard to, to leave that. Why don't you have that then? A kid, uh, I think it, for, I don't say, I'm literally just like, well, why don't you? Yeah, well, I mean, I would, I want that.

But. Well, for me to even, and I'm not like at the top of anything in stand-up or my career or anything like that, things are going well and I'm really happy. But for me to get there, like, everything takes me more effort than it would anyone else. Like, me getting to my flight today is what most people did to finish their finals at university or whatever. So, I mean, I really took a lot of effort for me to, you know, immigrate to the states and get settled and established and someone established. Are you a citizen? It's funny. I'm writing my citizenship exam next week. Um, is that you go to a place and take it?

Yeah. Yeah. Um, so I have a, I have a green card and then I will be a, I'll be a citizen. Yeah. Great. And, uh, just based on your Instagram. Uh, yeah. Does that help? Do you have to, like, make yourself a viable member of, not for citizenship. You got a, answer some questions. You have to do an exam. So I've been studying for months. I'm sure most people do, you know, look over it over the weekend.

I've been doing 100 questions, the same 100 questions over and over again for months. But do you do it verbally? How do you do it? Now it's verbally, yeah. Okay. Now it's verbally. So you are studying verbally?

No, I'm studying on a computer very carefully. The 100 questions. I go over them every day. But, God damn it, man. It must be. I got to say I would be really mad if I were in, if I were, if I was dyslexic. I, I, I've made peace, but it's like, it's little things happen and I'm getting better, but it's like, for example, if I'm texting and I'm in the room, and you're asking me questions, it's like one, you can, you do one thing.

It's hard to not, it's hard to not snap because for me to send you a text, if I'm running late and I'm like, dude, I'm going to be 10 minutes late. it's like in a movie when someone's like detonating a bomb and they're like, should I pull the red wire? Because I could easily just be like make it seem like I'm not coming if I'm not careful of what I'm meditating? Is there anything you do? I meditate a lot and have meditated for many years, yeah.

And it helps diffuse the stress, so to speak? I think so. Yeah, I think it helps me. I think it really helps me. I do TM and then I also do Vapashina. And when I'm going through, Vapashna is more intense because you've got to do it for an hour. And that, I think that helps me in a lot of ways because Vapacian, it kind of removes you from what's going down.

It kind of like gives you, you're like, not a step back, but it gives you a couple inches back. And I think it helps me on stage, too. I think it helps me be in the moment. Okay. So you would like to, what's the longest relationship would you have with a woman? Six years. And so you. That was the lady that broke off of me over the phone.

And that was a while ago, right? And you keep bringing it up. I mean, it was a great bit. Do you see, like having a child, by the way, is fucking so difficult. Yeah. And do you take that as a thing of like, I'm going to bring that, I'm going to welcome that in as rewarding it would be, as rewarding as it would be to add a big layer of difficulty to an already sort of difficult experience? I like the idea. It's like when you get a pet.

You know how like there's like, and this sounds, you can tell them on my way to a Griffith concert, but you, I feel like you introduce like a pet or getting to know my girlfriend's cat. It's like, there's like, there's, all of a sudden there's love somewhere where there wasn't love before.

You bring an animal into your life or, or like, I mean, when my sister had my nephew, it was like the peak for my family. There's just so much love because, so I just love that. I just like that idea. And, yeah, I feel like I would be, you know, a good person.

I've been told that. Yeah, I believe that. I mean, again, very empathetic. So that would be the main thing. And what do girls say you're, why are they, why aren't these relationships working? I think, I think I'm on a place now where I can focus more on, like, I mean, it was, I, for many, many years, it was just stand up. I just focused and did that.

And it's not that I didn't prior, I just really didn't, not that I didn't prioritize. Well, again, there's only so many hours in the day. You need seven hours of sleep. You need, you know what I mean? You have a lot of stuff that is compulsory. You can't not do it. Yeah. And survive as a human being.

And like, so how much time is left for to focus on a relationship? Yeah, there wasn't. I feel like there's more now. But like, the book took me eight years. And it was like intense. eight years, you know. It was probably minimum wage all in. What you made from the book.

I mean, yeah. Relative. Yeah, I would be, yeah. I got, I mean, my managers, I was happy with what I got paid for sure. But yeah, I mean, the amount of work I put in. I mean, I went over every word like you would, a three line joke. I did that for 70,000 words. And so you want to have kids or a kid.

and but it's you've got your hands full. I think now it's definitely, it's definitely, I'm in a position where I could do it now. But yeah, do you want kids? No. Oh, really? No. I've never wanted them.

Really? Ever. No, never. I've always, even when I was a kid, I loved, like, hanging out with my younger cousins and stuff like that. I was, I was the youngest, and it was too big and chaotic. So I don't, my associations with family, when you're like so much love there, I'm like, is that what you guys got?

So I, it was more like something else. Yeah. Again, it's not, it's just something else. Yeah. It's just a different experience. Yeah. But I don't, but I understand that that's what most people want. So if somebody wants it, I'm just like, well, yeah.

But I, but I'm also very aware of like how long it takes me to do stuff. I think I'm probably slow doing things. Okay. Like reading or whatever. Yeah. And procrastinate and then do it and finally. Like, I have good work ethic for a comedian, but I don't think, but I'm still like, this could be so much better.

Oh, really? Okay. Because I think of you as someone that's got it. I do. I do have a good work ethic. I think that's what you were going to say, right? Yeah. So I do, but I know where the bodies are buried in terms of like procrastination and just

laziness and like not doing the new bit, not, you know what I mean? like not figuring out a way to be tenacious. As time goes on, it's hard to stay as like sharp and as dogged. Yeah. I'm finding. Or recently, I've got like a burst of it in the last month or two of like, oh, fuck. Okay. Yeah.

But so, okay. So, okay. So, but emotionally you're, are, do you find yourself overwhelming? a lot, like your experience as a person, are you overwhelmed a lot or are you, were you overwhelmed and you've gotten better? Because are you even killed or no? I mean, I do my best. You always seem nice. Yeah, I mean, I certainly try to be. And yeah, no, you keep, I mean, if you do have a learning disability, you're nervous. Yeah, you're overwhelmed a lot. But again, meditation helps. And also, I know I can do one thing at a time, you know. And I, and at, and at, and at, and, at, you know, and at,

I keep developing different ways to approach things. Like, for me to get a flight in the morning, I'm like, the planning starts, like, 24 hours before. Like, everything's like, my watch is in my shoe. My, like, everything, while it's in my pocket. I can't, yeah, I just, I can't misstep at all or everything falls to shit. What, when you say you're watching your shoe, so you planned out the sequence?

Yeah, just so everything's there. And I'm not in, you. You know, I'm not going to forget my watch in a hotel or whatever. Whatever, everything is just there like, you know, the beginning of like a bank robbery movie where they come in and they're like, two, two, two, two. Maybe it's this, you're in a special situation, maybe. But I realize, like, if I'm on the phone, even if it's on speaker and I'm parking, I can't remember where I parked. Interesting, yeah. I like can I can kind I have to go like wait like it's not secondhand I have there's I have 10 of those things where I'm like if I'm doing X then I can't also be doing Y because yeah because it will it like short circuits me somehow yeah so I'm with you in terms of planning I've started thinking with stand up I've started thinking myself as like a kicker like an NFL kicker where like I'm not going to be.

cool before I go on. I can't shoot the shit. I need to focus on what I'm doing. Oh, dude. Yes. And then I'll do the afterward, fuck around as much you want. Yeah. I can't, I don't have that luxury. I'm the, the amount of times that I've walked around the McDougal block and down Manetta Lane around the cellar to go over a joke in my head and the people are lining up to go to the show. Like, yeah, you don't look cool. No. Got a piece of paper and I'm reciting shit. Yeah. But if I can do that, then I can be... Better on stage. Yes, I can be calm on stage and in the moment on stage.

But leading up to that, no, I'm fretting. When I'm on the road, I see comics, they're like hiking and fucking axe throwing or whatever, how are they're passing the days. I'm in my room. I sleep in. I meditate. I get a coffee. I'm like, I'm on the... My weekend of work starts...

on my way to the airport Thursday morning or Friday morning and whenever I go out. And there's no fun occurs when I'm on the road. It's, you know, afterwards we'll go out or get dinner with the people that I'm working with or whatever. But besides that, dude, I'm like, there's not a second of like, oh, this is fun. I'm like, maybe. It took me till very recently, like the last big tour I did where I was like, I would just write my act down. Yeah. before I went on, and it seemed like dorky.

It's like, yeah, I guess, I don't know. All this like hustle culture doesn't, I think part, the underside of hulsic culture is like a lot of these people, I wouldn't include myself in hustle culture, but I would include myself in like, I can't be good any other way. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I don't have, I don't, I have neither pride nor shame. I actually have more shame. It's closer to shame that I can't just be like. Hey, whatever.

Muff, fucking cigarette. Yeah. Smoke weed. Do a shot. And then what? No. It's crazy. Yeah.

No, I'm not. I got like, I mean, I got to like eat properly. Excuse me. Eat properly. Meditate for an hour. Like it's, it's all prep. And afterwards, yeah, I can have fun and da da da da da. But no, I'm, I, for, I don't know how many sets I've done in my life, but always write out

what I'm going to put. Even if it's jokes that I've done a million times. I always write it out. Yeah, I've been trying to do a new joke and I wasn't. I was doing the thing like, I don't know. Neil, you're not going to be able to do the joke. Yeah. Unless you memorize it.

Dude, and the people always like, I'll work it out on stage. What? I know. I've never worked anything out on stage. I'll add something, but I haven't been able to figure it out. Yeah, like so rarely. To me, me saying I'll work it on stage is like, I'm just not going to do it. Like, you know, like, it's not going to improve.

I got to sit down and go over it. Yeah, I'm not going to be able to survive as a person. Yeah. Yeah, you're basically saying, like, I'm going to, I'm writing my own death certificate because I can't. Exactly. I'm too cool. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny because we talked about Nate earlier, but it is like, yeah, I can't do that.

No. All right. Well, dude, I'm rooting for you. Oh, thanks, brother. I was already rooting for you. I'm now I'm rooting for you more. I hope people that didn't know. you will go watch yourself because you're fucking really funny oh thanks um and uh and and and the story

the the the backstory's awesome oh thank you yeah i'm so stoked to be here i was honored to be here i i have to thank you again years ago you were doing your three mics show yeah and we barely knew each other and someone was like just text them and ask him for and you and you gave me tickets and i was so inspired by that show oh great thank you man yeah um well it was great to see you right on Thanks. I'm going to pound you because I just wipe my nose. Thanks, Neil.