Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #46: “The Ape”

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Dalton and Mutt are joined by comedian and TV writer Emily Heller to discuss Of Mice and— er, uh, Bonanza Season 2, episode 14 - “The Ape” (not based in any way on the novel Of Mice and Men). A real-life murder mystery, two Star Trek legends and Elvis Presley doing his best - this episode has everything!Featuring Matt Gourley and Emily HellerMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 7/18/2023 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That's BetterHelp.com. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bonanza, episode 46, which was released to our Patreon That's BetterHelp subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Dailey. You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord, and more. Subscribe today and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. Oh Namsa, it's the finest show alive So consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside Take some ponderosa pride and forever make it right I'm bananas for bonanza. Hey, hey, ha! Welcome to bananas for bonanza.

Come on in, the gate is open wide, friend. That's a paraphrasing of my usual sign on, which just got wrong. That's a paraphrasing of my usual sign on, which just got wrong. That's okay. Folks, this is season two, episode 14 of Bonanza we're talking about today. It's called The Ape. And it's, you might think there's an ape in it.

There ain't a literal ape. There's a figurative ape. There's a man who's like an ape, is what it is. You might think there's a mouse in it on account of how much it stole from of Mison Mann. Well, the John Steinbeek novel. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is, we'll get into it for sure, but I'd say Bonanza fixed of Mison Mann. Mison Mann had a real problem in the end. Bonanza fixed it. Just like it fixed the miracle worker last time. And I'm looking forward to it fixing the Bible next week. Oh, you never know. It sure could.

It is made Dalton Wilcox and Matt Taylor you heard from. And we got a very special guest this week. Her name is Emily Heller. Hi, howdy. Howdy. Oh, you speak it. I'm trying. So far, bad in a thousand. Yeah, real good. You're a cow gal.

Yeah, let's lasso up some hot takes about this episode of Bonanza. Wow. Can you say hot takes in the Old West? Uh, what were those? Hot cakes. Yeah, hot cakes. It rhymes with hot cakes

and anything that rhymes with hot cakes, all takes. Yeah. Here, here. You're a professional writer of television, aren't you? I am. Yeah. So that's going to be you're going to bring it. Obviously, I'm sure you appreciate this episode and the beautiful way in which it was written. I'm sure. Oh, yeah. Well, this we studied when, you know, whenever you get a job in Hollywood,

they say, watch this episode. Oh, they do. This is the one. Huh? I'm not surprised to hear that. Fine piece. Yeah. I'll bet you, of course, I never even thought about it, but of course you start a new job and holler whatever you're writing for. They say, sit down. Here's the, here's the top episodes of Bonanza. Just so you know what you're doing. Here's how to act. Here's how to write. Here's how to include every trope about a mentally

challenged person. We got it all. Yeah. And this is the kind of pacing we're looking for. Did you find that? Yeah, the pacing was just right. It was a little, it's a little like a thrill ride, isn't it? I mean, did you catch your breath? How did they fit all that into an hour? I'll never know.

It's amazing. It's amazing. It's great. They don't, you know, like, it's something like if a character is leaving, they let you see every part of him leaving. Yeah. Taking the reins off of the hitch and post and climbing onto the horse. And they even let you see a little bit after he's gone. After he's gone, you can see the nothing that's left when he turns the corners. It's like real life. Just like real life. There was one part where I was like, oh, maybe I'll see if my husband wants to watch this with me.

Because I, you know, I haven't watched that much because nothing's happened yet. And then I paused it and now it was 17 minutes into the episode. And you were able to catch him up to speed in about five seconds? Well, then I was like, I don't want to watch 17 minutes again. Oh, I see. I don't want to start it over. Oh, you would have had a, I see. You heard of Norwegian slow TV?

This is like a ponderosa slow life, you know? Yeah. But it's real fast. It's beautiful. It's wonderful. There's so much story packed into so little time. They only have only have 49 minutes back in those days to do it. You know, it's sad.

But this episode has everything. It has a woman. It's got a battle of giants. Man, I love a battle of giants. And not only that, it's got a goddamn guy from Star Trek. You know old Star Trek, old Leonard Nimoy's in this. That's right, yeah. His one and only time on Bonanza.

Really? Yep, they never hit him but the one time. I bet you almost everybody that was on Star Trek probably shows up on Bonanza, wouldn't you think? Was Leonard Nimoy in this episode? He was! You watched the whole episode and you didn't know it was Leonard?

I didn't. He was that gal's handler. Oh! I thought you were talking about the main guest star, cause I think he ended up on Star Trek at some point. Oh yes, yes he did. Because this episode was written by someone who worked on Star Trek.

Yes indeed it was. I did a little bit at the AMC game. You did a little bit. I got very curious about the behind the scenes of this. More guests should come armed with the facts and knowledge of the finest television show like this. I like this. I don't know how you can watch an episode of this show

and then not spend the next week looking up everybody that was in it. Four weeks until the next episode. Seven days. Well, uh, first we usually talk a little bit about the air date when this episode aired, which was December 17th, 1960. Talk a little bit about what life was like then. And I've got bad news. Um, I'm sorry to say we've had a lot of this, this goddamn Ben Hur is the number one movie

in the country again. Unseating Butterfield 8. It unseated Butterfield 8 after a strong three or four weeks. Let me tell you the stat, because this is the last time we're gonna talk about Ben Hur. It never is the number one movie again after this. But this was its 56th week in the theaters.

56th. What? It's over a year. It's over a goddamn year. So it's like last Christmas, people were seeing Ben Hur. Yeah, right. And this Christmas, they think that they'll see it again. It's July 18th and I think Indiana Jones

is already out of theaters. Is it gone already? Was there about two weeks? Seems like it. That's a good run these days. This is its 33rd week as the number one movie in the country. And it came and went and came and went. It came and went, came and went a bunch of times. People in those days said, Oh, there's a new movie out. Let's check it out. Okay.

I'm going to see Ben Hur again. Yeah. Put it in the queue. I want to see a fella die in the chariot race for real. And it is a long movie too. I believe it literally has an intermission. It's a long movie. You have to do that.

Yeah. And they're doing it again. Are they putting intermissions into these long, less cooking movies? No, they're just making them really long and then you just have to guess when you're supposed to go to the bathroom. Right. That's right. And what if you got to go more than once? How long are these movies they're making now?

Two and a half, three hours. Every one of them. More than three hours. Isn't a mission impossible like a three hour? It's two hours and 40 minutes. I believe Killers of the Flower Moon coming out is like three and a half hours long. Oh it is? Yeah. That's too long. You do need an intervention. You do. I mean I'm very lucky if I can make it through a two-hour movie without going to the bathroom. I can't anymore. You know, I mean I'm sure it's been contemplated and maybe even attempted, but that they're doing so much with movie seats now where you can angle it back. You got multiple cup holders.

I know. Would it be so crazy to have? I agree. And I'm not saying it's toilet the whole time. I'm saying it is a button you press that makes it a toilet for a minute. Or you just have a little catheter hookup. That's great too, yeah.

Because then you don't have to open a lid or anything. There's no flushing. It's just, it takes it away. Silently. There's no contact of the scent with the air. It doesn't disperse in the air. I'll go one further and say they ought to do the same thing with restaurants. I call them restrooms.

You just sit on a toilet. Oh yeah. I think you've suggested this before. Yeah, I did. And then you can stay there for hours and hours. You never have to get up. And it's like an airplane vacu-sealed toilet. So again, there's no contact with the air because that would be unhealthy. You'd probably get a C rating. Oh, a C rating from the health department.

Yeah. Yeah. Cause things change when somebody gets it. C for caca. It's crazy. At some restaurants you can serve menudo, which is intestines, but you can't take a crap while you're eating. God damn. I didn't know menudo was intestines. Isn't it? Trap or stomach or something. I never heard of referred to as Manudo before. It's not a boy band. Yeah, but I think they're named after food. Frankie Martin was in Manudo. They named it after the intestines. I believe they did. And then of course, once they hit puberty,

they take them out on a farm and shoot them. How would a band do a a boy band in America, if it was called Intestines? Would the girls go see them at the mall? I suppose. I don't really know. We don't, only one way to find out. And our opening act is colorectal.

Well, the number one country song is Wings of a Dove, again by Ferlin Husky. That's holding strong. Number one song in the country in December, 1960 was still Are You Lonesome Tonight by Elvis Presley. I'm going to show you, you guys want to watch a video of a fat Elvis fucking up that song? Yeah. I didn't know how much until you introduced it. It's real good. I'll just play you the talking part.

That's when things really fall apart. R.E. Lonesome tonight has a long talking part. This is about as fat as Elvis got. And by the way, it ain't that big. No, but it does still look like prosthetics. It does, doesn't it? That's a good point. It looks like he's wearing a funny fat suit.

Because he's still got a thin nose. Is that the problem? Your nose should be allowed to get bigger when you gain weight. Yeah, man. I agree too. All right, well, here he is doing, Is that the problem? Your nose should be allowed to get bigger when you gain weight. Yeah, man. I agree too. All right, well here he is doing, let me get my volume up to where I want it.

Are you lonesome tonight? And he's got about six weeks to live. Okay, here we go. Oh, no. I wonder if you're want some of the night. You know someone said the world's a stage and each of us play a part. So? Play head, me seem to change, you fool. You acted strange, and why, I never know.

Oh God. Act that out. Whatever did it. Honey, who am I talking to? You lied when you said you loved me. You're not a pain anymore. You, I had no cause to doubt you. But I do want, I do want you in your lives.

And you're all living without you. And the sages bear, and I'm standing there without any hair. I don't know. This is genius. You won't come back to me. What a heck with it. Listen to him sing now. Cause your heart will pain He doesn't miss a step.

Shall I come back again Wow, what an entertainer. He sounds real good there once you start singing again. That's incredible. I just imagine being one of those backup singers just going like Do do do do do do What did he just going like, do do do, do do do. What did he just say? Do do do do do.

Like they don't skip a beat. They don't either. They just keep on with the do do do. Sometimes this goes 45 minutes with just do do do. There is a version, they released it in 1980. You can find it. It's called, Are You Lonesome Tonight? Laughing version where.

Elvis, he just. The parentheses Lonesome Tonight, laughing version, where... Elvis, he just... Yeah, laughing version. He just loses it and he just cackles like a maniac for the whole time. And I think what cracks him up, maybe I should try to, well, whatever, is the backup singer sounds like, there's a backup singer on their,

you know that dark side of the moon where that lady is wailing away on the one song. I think that she, she was doing that and it made him laugh. I don't know. Cause at some point he goes, sing it honey. I had no cause to die. Shall I come back again? Tell me dear, are you lost somewhere? Is your heart filled with pain? Shall I come back again?

Shall we do it again? Are you home? He just cackles through the whole song. I imagine if you're Elvis, if you get hit with the church giggles, that's probably really hard. Because you have to be like, oh, come on. You're Elvis. You gotta go back to being Elvis. You must smolder. Like getting back to a smolder is gotta be a really tough.

Yeah, that's also considering all those feel good drugs. He's right. Yeah. There's no reason he's giggling. He loved taking drugs mostly. That was the number one thing I think he loved to do. Uh, all right. Well, so that was entertaining. And, uh, celebrity birthdays born on December 17th, 1960 was

Moreno Argentine, the Italian cyclist. Sometimes it's hard to find a legitimate celebrity. But not this week. Not this week. This is a goddamn Italian bicyclist. Moreno Argentine. Yeah. I got posters of him up. Oh you do? Oh sure. He's a great bicyclist.

You see there's somebody who was trying to take a selfie in the Tour de France today or yesterday. Like one of the competitors? No, somebody in the line in the bike route, stuck his arm out to take a picture of himself with the approaching bicycles and caused like a 15 bicycle pile. Yeah, he did. They're thinking about suing him,

but it is funny to see a bunch of Europeans fall off their backs. That's the only reason worth watching that. Oh no, I fell off my back. That's my European accent. He was a guy by the name of a Huygenjörgen or something like that fell off his back. You know the names of these bicycle teams. His name is, he's on a team called Jumbo-Brisma or something like that. It's like a racing horse's names.

Oh, is that what it is? I think so. Ridiculous, goddamn. Europeans riding bikes for a living. It's a joke. All right. Now we get into some fun facts about people that was involved in the making of this episode.

And the first one, man, this is a fun fact. This fellow, James Yarborough, who directed the episode, he died under mysterious circumstances two years later. We get one of these most every week. Yeah. Somebody's always dying on a weird way. He was, he okay here's what happened he had a roommate aka most likely boyfriend they say and he's a his boyfriend called

their family physician and he says he's I can't wake him up or whatever he's non-conscious and the physician said why don't you call an ambulance ambulance guysbulance guys show up, he's gripping a bottle of barbiturates, and, but he looks like he's had the shit beat out of him. And the coroner says, yes, he had a tummy full of barbiturates, but also he has had the shit beat out of him. And so they went and arrested the boyfriend. Did he have bloody knuckles? I don't know that he had bloody knuckles,

but the boyfriend said he was he Come won't committed suicide by eating all them pills and I was trying to revive him and they said Well good enough and they let him go So, what do you think? It's a real mystery, isn't it? Well, it seems to me uh-huh that where were the wounds if they were kind of red cheeks Maybe yeah, he was slapping him. Does he was he bludgeoned in the back of the head? If they were kind of red cheeks, maybe, yeah, he was slapping them. Was he bludgeoned in the back of the head? That's a different story.

Okay, good question. That's a good one to know. I also, I'm like, if you beat someone up, then how do you, it's like, where do the barbiturates come in? Right. Before, after? Right.

I don't know. Is it like, I'm gonna keep beating you up until, so you keep taking these pills and I can say it was a suicide. I think, yeah, you beat someone to submission and then, yeah, maybe you force him down his throat. I just feel like there's a lot easier ways to do whatever. You're right. That's a good point. I don't like that he was gripping a bottle of pills. That's a little too on the nose. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Makes it seem awful weird. I don't know. But anyway, well, he's dead. Get on it. Get on it. Maybe he was fed the pills against his will and then he realized it and he was trying to make himself throw up. And then the boyfriend like beat him up to stop him from gagging himself. Oh, yeah. You should do this podcast. Yes. You're're gonna do the true

proud and proud press about. Just where I just guess. That's all they ever are. That's true. It's just a guess. What happened to the boyfriend? What'd he go on to do? Oh, he was an actor and a writer. He said, he specified to the police, we was collaborating on a script together, me and James, for the Naked City. And of course, the newspapers like to put that in. These two roommates were working together on The Naked City. That's as far as they went in their little intimations at the time.

Yep. But he went on to have a fine career, I believe. I don't really know. Well, anyway, that's a fun fact. Very fun. And now I want to talk about old Gene Kuhn. Sounds like you looked him to him a little bit. He wrote this episode. A little bit. Yeah.

I didn't go super deep, so I'm excited to hear what you have to say. Well, he is, he's the other Gene of Star Trek. He's like, that was a two gene operation between- Him and Roddenberry. Him and Roddenberry and Shatner and Nimoy both dedicated their memoirs to him. the other Gene of Star Trek. He's like, that was a two gene operation between him and Roddenberry and Shatner and Nimoy both dedicated their memoirs to Gene Kuhn.

They called him the heart and soul of Star Trek. He invented Vulcans. He was like the main man. Wait, was Star Trek before or after this episode? After. Okay. But evidently I- So he saw Leonard Nimoy in this episode

and he was like, gives me a quite an idea That's the show They also thought about Martin Landau to play doctors that would have worked exactly I feel like it would have been equal Yeah, I can only picture him from grumpy old men Martin Landau was he in grumpy old man? You're thinking of Walter Mathis Oh, yeah I don't men. Martin Landau. Was he in grumpy old man? You're thinking of Walter Mathau. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Martin Landau was.

I don't know who Martin Landau is. He played Bella Lugosi in Ed Wood. Did you ever see that? Oh yes. Fuck you. You'll get in the lake. Yeah. He's that guy.

Okay. But just think for a second about Walter Mathau as Spock. I agree. I agree. I agree. Walter Mathau as Spock would have been fantastic. And Jack Lemon as Kurt.

Oh my God. It would have been great. Wow. Oh, they fucked up. When you think of Martin Landau, I think of a time he went, oh, speaking of Mission Impossible, he went to the premiere, the red carpet premiere of the first Mission Impossible movie,

which was longer ago than you might imagine. 30 years, right? Damn time ago. It came out on my friend's birthday. Oh, your friend Matt Gourley? Yeah. He's, so he is attending the premiere of the first Mission Impossible movie,

and MTV VJ Kennedy, who you might recall, says to him, what are you doing here, Martin Landau? And he got so fucking mad, because he was in the series, and he was like, you ought to know the history of a TV show before you show up to the movie premiere of it. Is there a video of that? Sure. Let's see.

You want to try? I'll find it. We can both find it. Martin Landau bitching out MTV's Kennedy. Oh, there's 10 videos, various premieres. They keep pairing them up for interviews, I don't know why. Kennedy MTV, maybe that's all I need to put in there. You know, I wasn't a big fan of Kennedy.

She was that outlier VJ there. And then didn't she go all conservative or something? I mean, as Matt Taylor, I'm very conservative. Oh, yes, of course. I don't know. Well, isn't she running for president on an anti-vax platform? That's her boyfriend. They have the same name because they're dating. That's how it works. Okay. Dang, this is a still image. Come on now. It's a Reddit thread about it.

It's a still image. Wait a minute, maybe it takes me to a video. It is called Martin Landau berates. Oh no, it took me to the MTV's website. Oh snap, why don't you check this out instead? Screw you. Should we watch an episode of Catfish instead? Not a bad idea.

Well, this is a still image of it happening. OK. Oh, yeah. He looks mad. He looks sour. I say, damn. All right. Fans out there. See if you can find video of Martin Landau berating MTV's VJ Kennedy, because she didn't realize he was in the series. Oh, I'd really like to see that.

I'll look that up at some point. Wait a minute, what are some awkward TV interviews? Oh, dang, am I gonna click on this? It's six and a half minutes. No, no, no, I can't, because it's a three. You can't skip ahead? Yes, I can. This has me in more suspense than this episode of Banza.

It is exactly as high stakes and exciting. Oh, so the bunch of these look real good. This is a thread of awkward interviews, but I, oh, it's three pages long, where I'm page three of three. Will this pay off? I don't think so. We shall see.

I mean, it must be on there. Ricky Gervais meets Gary Shandling. That is a classic. Oh yeah, that one is really good. It is a good one. Because he's just like, what are you doing here? In my house. God damn.

Alright, most of these say video unavailable, so I'm going to assume that's the case here with MTV. I'll go to the bottom of this page. All right, that's it. No more looking. We'll try to find it. Anyway, that's what I think of when I think of Mark Landau. What else was I going to say? Oh, so Gene Kuhn we was talking about.

Oh, Gene L. Kuhn. He's a, he was a, he... That's it. He just... Doing the Elvis. Plus, Tadge. He did, yeah, he Take the Elvis. Plus tags. He did, yeah, he was the main man on Star Trek.

It's a big deal. He wrote a movie called, I also want to see this movie, called No Name on the Bullet. Imagine that, a bullet with no name on it. Most bullets have names on them. Sure, you gotta put, well, if you're gonna shoot somebody, you gotta take the time to put their name on it, on the bullet.

So that's him, Karen Sharp, who played Sherry Bell in this episode. She is still not dead. 88 years old. Wow. And out there, in matter of fact, just last year, she came out and said that Jerry Lewis had sexually assaulted or harassed her on the set of the disorderly order.

No kidding. Oh, yeah. I think I read about that. Uh-huh. I'm sorry to tell you, it sounds like Jerry Lewis was an asshole. Yeah. There does seem to be some evidence to that.

Yeah, he was a big asshole. Well, apparently, so she's trying on costumes and he says, all right, he's, oh, he had a Matt Lauer button. He, long before, he had probably invented, you know, Jerry Lewis invented certain things like video playback on the set. He was an innovator.

He might've invented the Matt Lauer button. I guess you gotta call it the Jerry Lewis button. Which is- He invented sexual assault. Maybe he did. It's like, I go over here, I press a button and now you can't get out of this room. That's a real strange, who puts that?

You know what I mean? Like, who installs button and now you can't get out of this room. That's a real strange, who, who puts that, you know what I mean? Like who, who installs it? And do they ask any questions? Well, and it's like, what's the moment before that where you're like, there's got to be a better way. Their excuse. Cause I've actually heard someone defend this. Someone of renown has defended Matt Lauer.

And they said, well, the reason you have that this is not my words. OK. All right. Is because, you know, when you're a known entity, you got to have security. So if you see trouble outside the office, you slam the button and it locks the door. No one can get in. Sure. But but what wouldn't you be able to get out? Exactly. Yeah. I just I just have a hard time picturing a situation that's can't, can't be resolved in the three seconds it would take to get up and

close the door yourself. Right. I guess here's the only legitimate purpose for a lock you in button is if you, people keep stealing things from your office right in front of you. Right. Right. Every time I sit down this desk across from somebody, they grab one of my Emmys and try to run out the door. Or if you have like a really sort of what's the word I'm looking for? Just sort of like a cat that really wants to get away.

Oh, and can operate a door knob. Right. Well, can't. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because you close the door. Right. I guess the locking part doesn't seem necessary. That's the problem. Yeah. I don't know. The only sense I could see using it against someone's will

is if you're having a really tense verbal argument and someone makes a great point and they wanna exit on that point, they'll be like, and you never lived up to your father. Oh, that's a good one. And then they can't get out. Yeah.

Well, give me a minute to come up with a comeback to that. Exactly. Now that I can appreciate. Okay, that's good. I mean, it still makes you a loser, but. I suppose in 1960, Jerry Lewis just said, I need a woman trapping button. Yeah, and they were just like, no more questions.

We'll install that for you right away, Mr. Lewis. What brand? Yeah. Exactly. She was a Karen Sharp. She was also, oh, she had a funny part in I Dream of Jeannie and the pilot of I Dream of Jeannie, she is Larry Hagman's fiance.

And you know, like it's the woman he ain't gonna end up with, the poor woman he ain't gonna end up with. The pilot for I Dream of Jeannie, by the way, it's gritty and realistic. Are you serious? Yeah. Really? It's real good. What? Well, you know, it's gritty and realistic. Are you serious? Yeah. Really? It's real good.

What? Well, you know, he's an astronaut. He goes up in space. And then it comes crashing down, I think, where they didn't expect him to. And he washes up on an island, which is when he discovers the lamp. And I guess he rubs it, and now comes Genie. But they shot all that on location, on a beach,

like in black and white, in film. It's weird that they didn't take the opportunity of him being an astronaut to say like, oh, he found some magic in space and brought it back to earth. Instead they're like, he goes to space and then he just goes to a different part of earth and finds magic.

He could have just been a tourist. That's true. He could have been an earth explorer of some kind. That's a good point. But yeah, so they got rid of her in episode four. Oh, they got rid of her in a weird way, where Jeannie, she's, so okay, Jeannie loves, I forget his name, master.

She just called him all the time. Major Healy? Major Healy. She loved Major Healy, but he's engaged. And so she somehow uses her magic to trick the fiance into remembering that she's actually in love with somebody else. So she ends up happy. Well, that's good. Yeah. There you go. All right, Karen Sharp. She also married a fellow by the name of Stanley Kramer, who directed High Noon and Judgment in Nuremberg. And it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world and guess who's coming to dinner?

She's married to that fella and now, old Karen Sharpe, he's dead, but she's got a project in development right now. The it's a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad world sequel. No. Yeah. Oh wow. As a producer, as an actor?

As a producer, she's going to produce it. As a sequel, not a remake. It says it's a sequel. I mean, they might as well remake it. And they're going to just pack it full of stars. It'll be Cedric the Entertainer. Yeah. Michael Richards.

I want to hear who else is going to be in it. OK. John Travolta. Scott Travolta. All the stars of today that anybody would want to go see. Have you ever seen It's a Mad Man? No, it's on my list. Oh, it is?

Yeah. I've got a list of farce movies I'm trying to watch. Okay, well, speaking of long movies. It's got some stuff to recommend it, but it is. It was one of those things that when they put it out on VHS it had to come on to VHS. Okay, I'm moving it down the list. That could be a comedy with an intermission. Actually, it might be.

They might have a comedy do not play well at three hours. No. Hmm. Well, it got to be real. Well, you got to have Jimmy Durante in there. You know, except he dies real quick. Does he literally kick the bucket? Is that the joke? I think so. I think he does. Yeah. His character dies and then he literally kicks a bucket. We all everybody laughs. Then you got

old Cal Boulder. Cal Boulder played Arnie Guthrie aka Lenny. This is the best thing I found about him. Maybe one of the best things I've found about any of our actors. So he was an LAPD police officer. as I've found about any of our actors. So he was an LAPD police officer. I found this out too. You found this out too? And he was discovered pulling somebody over, like a pull it over. An agent.

An agent, he pulled over an agent. He pulled over an agent. Yeah, and he was like, look at the size of this man. He's got to be in the pictures. Uh-huh. See, I'm gonna be here. But it also made me wonder, like, he was supposed to give that guy a ticket.

Yeah. I wonder how often that guy got pulled over and was like, do you want to be an actor? Yeah, you ought to be in pictures. My William Morris Agency business card, give me a call at the office, but yes, I'll take that ticket if you think it's appropriate. Oh, you don't anymore?

Say, I suppose you could give me that ticket, but that would defy me the chance to go down and sing your praises at a big mention picture studio. Do we have time for that and your screen test? If so, write the ticket. If not, follow me. Give me a police escort to your screen test. But, okay, so he becomes an actor and then he later several times,

apparently tried to sue the LAPD for disability benefits. And this is what it says in his lawsuit is a pellet injured his back while lifting a small car during the course of his duties as a police officer off of someone or just to give it up? It doesn't say, it says he just lifted a small car in the course of duties as a police officer. Do you think it was a dare? Well, maybe, if so, that is official police business.

For a cop, there's a cop to do something else they have to do. The dare program was originally just trying to get the biggest cop to lift a car. They changed it to make it about drugs, but it was originally Dare a cop to do it and they have to. Yeah. So, and then he said, he said, well, yes, it's true that I do take work in films as

a stunt man, as an, and as an actor, but I only do light work with props and things like that. He's counting on them never watching TV because he gets into some stuff in this episode alone that you wouldn't do if you had such a... He claimed his back injury was so bad that he could not even do police desk work. How do you explain that? Wow, this is like Donald Trump's taxes.

It's that kind of thing. I'm so rich, but I lost everything. Yeah. You know. Right. And I love him. I'm a stunt man, but I can't even sit down. I support suing the LAPD whenever you can.

Okay, yeah, that's fair, that's fair, that's fair. Now, he was also, he played a character named Goober in a movie called Heller and Pink Tights. You ever hear of this movie? No, how have I not heard of it? Heller and Pink Tights. I'm going to show you the poster. I recommend you get this and put it on your wall. Oh, it's so tiny here.

Let's see if I make it a little bit. Well, Heller and Pink Tights. Wow. You got a spot for that on your wall, haven't you? Being that it's your last name. It says they called her The Heller. She was known as The Heller, wow. She's like a hellion, like she's a hellcat.

I guess that's right. Wow, Heller. The Heller, oh wow, yeah, I gotta get that. I gotta get that. So, Pheloran was The Heller. Oh, right. Now, he also, oh yeah, so old Cal Boulder was in an episode of Star Trek, there he is.

What's going on? That's a crazy style. Was he the grapes in the Fruit of the Loons commercial? That's what he looked like. He looks like Kim Kardashian at the Met Gala. He's got like a ponytail and like a face mask and the ponytail's coming out of the like full head face mask but it's purple.

This would work at the Met Gala. You're absolutely right. Anything could pass for an alien back then. I guess so. Right? Nobody from earth would choose to wear this fur tunic. And here he is in Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter, which sounds like I've got to see it.

Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter? Not even Frankenstein. This is the worst job a mad scientist has ever done screwing the top of somebody's skull back on. He got circumcised? Yeah, he sure did. His brain got circumcised. Put a hot crust on his head.

He looks, if possible, even dumber in this movie in this episode of Bonanza. He's had literally his brain removed. How long did he live? Oh, not too long. Cal Boulder, let's see. I think I did write down when he, well, I don't. He died at the age of, I'm gonna say 73.

Okay, that's not bad for a- For one of them. Guest actor on Bonanza. Yeah, that's actually pretty good. That's real good. Okay, yeah, Jesse James meets Frankenstein's daughter. I wonder if he ever met Frankenstein. Maybe once he hit it off with the daughter, it's like in the sequel, it's meet the parents.

Meet the Frankenstein. Oh, wait, does he he plays one of the Frankensteins or wait? Yeah, who is he? And he's not Jesse James. He's Igor. Yeah But he's clearly a Frankenstein. I know In this version Frankenstein practiced on Igor before he did that must have monster Maybe it's Frankenstein if it's dr. Frankenstein's daughter. She's the scientist and she made you know, is it? It's the daughter's it's the daughter of the scientist or the daughter of the monster? We did a better job guessing how James Yarborough died.

We don't have any idea how this worked, but he is, his character has two names. It's like, it's like Ned Stacey slash Igor, something like that. He becomes Igor. Oh, I bet they put Igor's brain in his body. And that's why he has that thing. Okay, that's it.

He's a regular strong man. And they say, oh, if I had Igor's pliable brain. It's like, get out. Oh, it's just like- It's a precursor to get out. Yeah. And I'm sure it's just got as much astute social commentary. It would have to.

All right, that's just about all the fun facts I have, except for, of course, we got to talk about old Leonard name boys in this episode. Can I say one more thing about Cal Boulder? Please do. That's a stage name. Oh, right. Yes.

And I think it's really funny that they're like, you're just a big rock guy. Your name is Boulder. His real name was Craver. And I'm like, that's a pretty good stage name already. That is pretty. His, his Cal Craver was his name. Yeah. I go see him. I think that was a thing because Arnold Schwarzenegger's first film,

Hercules in New York, where he was dubbed, he was billed as Arnold Strong. So they just. Really? Yeah. Just because that was the only sentence he knew how to say in English at the time. Oh, my God. Well, all right. Really? Just because that was the only sentence he knew how to say in English at the time? Arnold Strong! Oh my god. I'm hungry, Arnold Strong, I'm running asleep. I am going to subject you to, since we're talking about Leonard Nimoy, you of course know the ballad of Bill Bow Baggins.

Oh yeah. Have you ever watched a video of it? I don't believe so. It's really remarkable. All right. So Leonard Nimoy, you know how even today, if an actor, if a TV show is successful, they'll have the actor record an album in character, you know, like the Trump. Oh, Young Sheldon. It's got a few. Right. The kid who plays Young Sheldon has a few albums out as Young Sheldon.

And a math book. And a math book. Stuff like that. So he put out, when the Star Trek was a hit, they put an old Mr. Spock put out an album. And then he put out an album, a second album, which had two sides of Leonard Nimoy. Side one was all songs as Spock. And side two was songs as Leonard Nimoy. Yeah.

And this is one of the Nimoy songs. It's his tribute to old bilbo baggins in the oh why can't we hear in the middle of the earth in the land of shire lives a brave little hobbit whom we all admire he's got this long wooden pipe his fuzzy willy toes he lives in a hobbit holding everybody knows him. Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins is only three feet tall. Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins, the bravest little hobbit of them all. Don't sit on that dirt with those white pants, Leonard. That's a good point. Well, there's that. How do you think Tolkien would feel about that video? I think he sanctioned it. That was his dying request. Get me Spock.

And a bunch of women just chanting along. And the women have, they have Spock ears on, but he doesn't. No clue. Well, no, they're not Spock ears. They're hobbit ears. They're hobbit ears. Do hobbits have weird ears?

No, just the elves. Just the elves. The hobbit have the feet. Wait, what are the hobbit?. Do hobbits have weird ears? No, just the elves. Just the elves. Wait, what are the hobbit? Oh, you're right. The hobbits have hairy feet, but those girls have shoes on, so we can't check. As much as we wish and wish and wish that we could. I have a foot finish, but it's for lady hobbit feet. So you just haven't come in like 20 years.

It's been a dry spell for a while. There was a brief, yeah, brief real like boom time in the early 2000s. And then last year, honestly, on Lord of the Rings on Amazon, but that was a lot of Elf-related shit. Oh yeah. I didn't get, I was very disappointed. Huh. All right.

Well, should we talk a little bit about this episode? This is an ad by BetterHelp. What comes to mind when you hear the word gratitude? Maybe it's a daily practice, or maybe it feels hard to be grateful right now. Don't forget to give yourself some thanks by investing in your wellbeing. BetterHelp is the largest online therapy provider in the world, connecting you to qualified

professionals via phone, video, or message chat. Let the gratitude flow. Visit BetterHelp.com today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelpHELP.com. Based on Charles Yu's award-winning book, Interior Chinatown follows the story of Willis Wu, a background character trapped in a police procedural who dreams about a world beyond Chinatown.

When he inadvertently becomes a witness to a crime, Willis begins to unravel a criminal web, his family's buried history, and what it feels like to be in the spotlight. Interior Chinatown is now streaming only on Disney+. What happens in this episode? This episode begins. We haven't seen it in a while,

but it's the establishing shot of Virginia City that they use so often. It's the very same shot they use a lot where a Native American fella is drunkenly fighting over a jug with another man. This is yet another time where I have never noticed. You don't notice this? No, God, I can remember to pay attention.

Then go on. Because I think I start it and I go like, oh, establishing shot, I can finish this email. Oh, no, that's the time to really scrutinize it. I can't tell you how many times I've watched this establishing shot, and the only thing I ever notice about it is the struggle between the drunken fella,

Native American, and the jug. But so there must be all kinds of things going on there. But anyway, poor Virginia City is in a time loop. This same struggle has been going on for weeks. Never go into the saloon. And the saloon, okay, we got a saloon gal named Sherri Bell, beautiful gal, and her man Freddie. And so I've never quite understood the dynamic before

as well as they make it clear in this episode. A saloon gal is there to hustle drinks. She's supposed to flirt with guys that come in the saloon and say, buy me a bottle of champagne for the benefit of the bar. And Freddie is there, he's a gambler, and he's just there to get gambling games going. So they're sort of like subcontractors of the bar

in a way or something. Chills. You know, that you have just made it clear to me. I was really struggling with what her job was because they were saying like, her job is to be nice to the men in the bar. Right. And I was like, how does that make anyone any money?

Oh, right. Because she's making them buy booze. And I assume Freddie kicked some of his gambling winnings over to the bar, that's what he's operating there. But by the way, if you try to map out Sherri Bell's attitude toward Arnie, you'll get lost. Yeah. It doesn't make, it's not quite consistent.

So now the boys ride up and Sherri comes on to Joe and Adam and they're all into it. And then comes the goddamn day and he's got a he's gone and glued a scar onto his cheek at some point. And he grabs hold of Sherry and she screams and she just lets him have it. She tells him how ugly he is. And he won't. It's very weird because he's a very good looking man. Yeah, that's true.

He's like the most yoked dude in. This is about as strong as a person could have gotten in 1960. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, he's got big muscles. He's like enormous and muscly, and it's like, okay, he has a scar, but I feel like no one had Neosporin then.

They probably all had scars. Oh, for sure. Good point, good point. It wouldn't be weird to see a scar on someone's face at that point. That's true. His hair is peculiar. His hair is very, he's got a little bit of a, what's that guy from England? Nigel something. Which one? Yahu serious?

No, the guy. He was. Boris Johnson. Boris Johnson. Oh yeah. Why did I think of, I was thinking of Nigel Farage, but no. Oh, Horace Johnson. Horace Johnson is what I was picturing. Do we ever see the ape without his hat on?

I don't think so. At one point you do, yeah. And his hair is just, it looks like it's been sort of flat ironed straight, but without any product to protect it from heat damage. Oh, see, that's a big mistake out there on the range. Any cowboy would kill you. They knew better back then, that's surprising.

Yep. So then we have the burning map, the burning map of the opening of Critters. This is the 46th time the map was burned on Bonanza. Okay, and then we got, we're back in the saloon and Joe doesn't want anything to do with the ape. Joe, little Joe will usually get into a fight with anybody, but he doesn't want anything to do with this guy.

And that's when Freddie tells Sherry, hey, you got to go come onto that ape and sell some champagne, right? I believe as Joe says, I don't want anything to do with that ape because on account of this script was taken from somewhere else and there's no role for me,

just one of the cart ride boys, so I'll bow out. That's right. I could very well be the George to this Lenny, but that's not how they wrote it. It would have made some more sense. That's the only change they made to get legal clearance, I think, is that they put two Lenny's

instead of a George and a Lenny. Oh, yeah, I guess so. It's like Lenny and Lenny Jr. You know what people don't talk about enough when it comes to a man. Number one, the villain in that book is named Curly. I played that role. You did? I played that role. It's a strange name for a villain of men. Number one, the villain in that book is named Curly. That's true. I played that role. You did?

I played that role. It's a strange name for a villain. My friend played that role. Yeah. So I'm not scared. I hear Curly and I'm not scared. Are you more scared by the fact that he puts his hand in a glove full of Vaseline?

That's the part I was gonna talk about. Do you remember that from that book? I ain't never read that book. Really? No, I've just sort of like received its message via cultural osmosis. You've probably gotten all you need. Yeah.

Well, they might not have taught you about how Curly, he works on a farm and he keeps one hand in a glove full of Vaseline to keep it soft for his woman. That's right. That's right. One hand. That's quite a detail. The one thing women really love is a nice sort of limp, greasy hand. Full of petroleum jelly.

But also just imagine that poor woman that has to receive the touch of this soft hand, then at some point, also I assume, receive the touch of a chapped, raw, calloused second hand. You know what that really is, is it's for himself. He's jerking off. He's like, I can't do this to my penis anymore with the other hand. You know what that really is, is it's for himself and he's jerking off. He's like, I can't do this to my penis anymore with the other hand.

You're absolutely right. My God, I never thought about it. Of course that's right. A friend of mine played that role in college and they curled his hair, they permed his hair. Oh, okay, because why else would they call him curly? Yeah, it was not an effective performance. Let's just say that. Was he too distracted by his own hair to give a performance? And the Vaseline. Why else would they call him Curly? Yeah, it was not an effective performance.

Was he too distracted by his own hair to give a performance? Vaseline. Did they actually put Vaseline in the glove? No, but I was in that play with two Method actors, one of whom I had to have a fight with in the show and he wanted, he tried to pick my friend, Matt. I mean, he tried to put the fight with- You confuse yourself with him sometimes, it's strange. Plus tax. He tried to pick a fight with Matt backstage

before the fight onstage to get a method fight going. Oh, geez. Real scary, because Matt, at that time, was very small. Oh, yeah, no, of course, he's a very strong man. He's a Cal Boulder type now. Yeah, he sure is. He sure is. Well, all right, so then what happens

is there's a brawl going on, whatever, and then a whole haus comes in, and now we have, this show does battles of the giants, frequently enough. Haus is unspeakably strong and gigantical, and sometimes he squares off against a giant, and he does, it's the ape versus haus, and they have a brawl out in the dirt for an hour and 15 minutes.

I will say as someone who hasn't watched this show before, the fight goes on for quite a long time. And when the show itself called it out, I was surprised that they knew, because I couldn't tell if they knew how long it was going on for or not. Yeah, it's not uncommon to see fights that long, but this is the first time they've acknowledged. They showed it for a long time and then said, well, and it's like, well, you could

have cut out more of the fight if you're just going to tell us how long they've been fighting for anyway. That's a good point. Yeah. Well, also another thing they do with big bare-fisted brawls on this show, which are frequent, is they do not put any music under them. Never, it's just quiet. All you hear, nobody says anything. It's just a long time of the sounds of grunts and, and that sound of that punching sound they use. Yeah. Like wood hitting a sack of flour. Yeah. Yeah. And they get further and further away from the camera for a while. So you can't even really see what's happening. Yes. Yes. A cynic might say that so they could swap out their stunt doubles, but I doubt it.

So all right, so later now we're back in the saloon and Sherri Bell is bandaging up Arnie. The ape's name is Arnie and Hoss seems uneasy about the fact that the ape and Sherri. Sherri's coming onto the ape and the ape seems receptive. This is the first, there's I believe four different instances of Hoss trying to talk Arnie out of being in love with Sherry. It just happens again and again.

And this is sort of the first time where he's doing it non-verbally a little bit of, you might not wanna. I gotta hand it to Hoss, he tries, he tries. He keeps trying to be like, I have to tell you this woman is a bitch. He tried to get it. He should've tried to fix him up with someone else.

Oh, that's true. Can't go from something to nothing. Well, Howard, then they would have had to have a second woman in the episode. Well, that's true. I recant that comment. I like that stricken from the record. Yep.

Well, now Hoss sees a kindred spirit in old Arnie and takes him under his wing. And Joe and Adam know, oh, this is just like when he took in that straight grizzly cub. This is a thing Hoss does and he brings, makes sure Arnie gets home. That's real gentlemanly.

Brings him to his shack in the woods where Arnie lives. This is when Arnie mentions, somebody gave him a bunch of money, but he don't really want to talk about it. Yeah, we never find out more about that, do we? Oh, we do. Wait, wait, wait, how'd I miss that? Well,

I'm not sure because it's telegraphed pretty hard multiple times. The characters missed it. There's a scene where you were like, oh, this is where they're gonna reveal that he murdered that guy and then they don't. And then they do it in the next scene. Right. He makes it as obvious as can be that he killed a man

and they go, hmm. And then. And then there's the part where they're like, did you hear that guy got killed? I didn't put together that that was where the money was from. Yeah, that's where the money was from. I do focus on these 100%. Oh, I know. Sounds like you're never finishing up an email at any time.

Well, we go back to Virginia, say, oh, there's a scene at the Ponderosa. This is one of them where Ben, old Paul, Cartwright is barely in this episode, but he, at some point, he shows up to give counsel and basically doesn't change the trajectory of the story in any way. Just prolongs it.

Just prolongs it. And Hoss now, he goes to Virginia City at night. Oh boy, there's Sherry drinking with Arnie and Freddie and they're having fun. There's a quality to their laughter in this scene that is Twilight Zone-esque. It's terrifying. They're cackling away. I guess the idea is that they're laughing at Cal and he doesn't realize it. Yeah, for sure. Arnie. I did see this. Everybody cackles when he leaves and is this a scene where, oh I don't, oh yeah, this is a scene where Hoss gives Arnie a horse. And, oh, Arnie's talking about how he wants

to have moo cows. Arnie- Oh yeah, you know, as opposed to the other kinds of cows. Sweet little moo cows. He wants moo cows on his own farm. And I think Hoss is trying to tell him like, hey man, if you want to have a farm, you got to save your money and maybe don't spend it so much

on the sherry over there. On this bitch. She's a, she just wants your money, but you know, he's fallen in love and all that business. And he even learns a little Spanish from Pepe the farm hand. And now he's got a job working on Ponderosa does old Arnie and he eats a whole lot of free Holy boy. They talk a lot about how much forholies he has. They also sort of imply like, oh, this is the first time he's eaten well in a while. And you're like looking at him and you're like, there's no way this man has missed a meal. He is enormous.

There's no way to be that enormous and not be eating constantly. Right. That's true. And he's been eating more than beans. I think he's just tackling cows on the Ponderosa, tearing into them. Moo cows. Oh, now, now, okay, Joe, little Joe rides up and he says, Jack Staple is found dead. The squatter you kicked off the landhaw, he's been found dead. The line that really made me laugh was he said, he's not so big now, he's dead. All right. Because they're like, big guy, right?

He's not so big now, he's dead. And it's like, what happened to him? What did he die of? Did he die of a shrinking ray? I mean, I guess you do lose a little bit of weight when you die, but not enough that you'd be like. Well, yeah, 21 grams. Yeah. Oh, is that the weight of a soul?

Uh huh. Okay. Okay. I don't think he died of a wasting disease. That's not what they're implying, right? They said his neck was broken like a matchstick. And then right after that, Arnie comes up behind him with a stick and goes, ah, and breaks it like a matchstick. Exactly, yeah.

One second later, Arnie comes up and just snaps a branch just like it was a man's neck. But they don't put it together. Nobody puts it together. Now we're back at the saloon and Haas and Arnie are drinking and he wants to get Sheri a present. He spends a long time picking out a necklace from a Native American woman. He picks out a necklace for Sheri.

Woman number two in the episode? Oh yeah, you're right. Yeah. Well, you're allowed a quick couple of ones. Yeah. She doesn't talk, which is pretty important, I think. She does not. She's clearly not mic'd.

Oh. Ha ha ha ha. Back then they had female and male microphones. And they only had one female microphone. They only had one female microphone. That's right. So now what happens here, they ride up, I wrote, they ride up the same cliff where the deaf girl's dad was nearly killed in the last episode. That's right.

It sure was. It sure was. And they take, oh, I see Hoss. Now this is Hoss. He's being so patient with Arnie and he's trying to tell them, okay, I see, Hoss, now this is Hoss, he's being so patient with Arnie. And he's trying to tell him, okay, I'm taking you up to this beautiful waterside view. And as you look across the water, I'm not gonna tell about the rabbits,

but as you look across the water, there's the land where you can have your own farm if you just don't spend all your money on sharing. And stop punching people. Yeah, you gotta stop punching. It's really important, he's gotta stop punching people. Yeah, you gotta stop punching. It's really important, you gotta stop punching people. The important thing is your down payment was money stolen from a man you killed.

Yeah, yeah. And he also tells me like, here's a long speech in here about how there's wolves and there's grizzlies. And some people is wolves, and some people is grizzlies. And you and I are grizzlies. And that's why I wanna give you this farmland.

I think it basically sums it up. So, and that's what they get into a brawl, don't they? And Arnie punches Hoss. Cause he also tells him, yeah, stay away from the woman. And he's like, you love her, don't you? Oh, that's what it is. Yeah, he gets jealous. He makes quick work of Hoss.

Why he couldn't the first time they fought, I do not know. Well, he had the assistance of a rock on the ground. This is a freak accident where it just takes one punch because Hoss lands on a rock. If only that had happened the first time they fought, would have saved everybody an hour and 15 minutes. However, Hoss wakes up pretty quickly. He comes right to me and he's looking for Arnie. He realized there's a problem.

He runs after Arnie. Well, now Arnie, what's his name? Arnie has gone to the saloon. He wants to present his necklace now to Sherry. But Sherry now, so all this time, her whole thing with Arnie has been, I'll bring him closer to get his money for champagne. Now he shows up and she says, Oh, get the hell away from me. You big, ugly, dumb ass. Yeah, she's like, she's clocked out of her job. I guess that must be. It's bad business because it's like, okay,

well when you clock back in, you're gonna have to just be nice to him or? Yeah, you gotta start all over. You're only doing the work. She's not a good business person. No. But it is kind of like, I think there's probably like, baristas who probably are like nice to their regulars

and then when they see them outside, they're like, God, do I have to do this fucking act again? That's just what it is. If you run into your barista at the CBS, they're going to be like, get the fuck away from me. You ugly jackass. You dumb idiot jerk. You understand we're all laughing at you. We just keep you around them Starbucks to laugh at you. No, they got them pictures of like a lemonade.

We got a picture of spit that we've all spit into and I feel your cup half full of that. And then the next time you see him at Starbucks, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. How are you doing? Double shot this time. Oh, that's just what happened. So now, okay, he gets real mad. It's almost like she's saying, what are you gonna do? Strangle me to death?

It's one of those, she really provokes him. And sure enough, he can't help it. He just got to strangle her to death, and he does. We haven't had a woman die on this show in a while. You know, they frequently, the first, what was it? In the first season we kept tracking, there's 12 ingenues that perished in season one. And it's been a little while, but anyway, yep,

she sure as hell dies. Could get back to the roots, you know? Yep, and her boyfriend, Freddie the Gambler, AKA Leonard Nimoy, Mr. Spock, Bill Bo Baggins, comes in and boy, he has a moment there where he gets all upset. He yells, help, somebody help. Okay. Well first, so what he does is he stands on the doorway and he looks at her.

He does not go to the body. That's true. He does not cross the threshold. He just stands there at a distance and he says, help. And then a couple of seconds later he goes, help. But at first he just says, help. And then a couple of seconds later, he goes, help. But at first he just says, help. It could have been the pox for all he knows. He doesn't get near.

But they are a couple. It was intimated shortly before this that they was going to go fool around. He was about to bring up a nightcap. Oh, right. He was going to bring up a nightcap before she ended up dead. Well, now we got a posse gearing up. Posse is going to go hunt down the ape and they're going to kill him. We don't have enough women. You can't kill she ended up dead. Well, now we got a posse gearing up. Posse's gonna go hunt down the ape and they're gonna kill him. They're like, we don't have enough women.

You can't kill one of them. We can't keep a saloon gal for more than one goddamn episode. So they're gonna go kill him. And oh, and this is when old Freddy lies. He says, I tried to stop Arnie. I was brave and courageous. He's what a liar.

Now we know he's a low man. It's so weird to see Spock as a liar. I know, not to mention, you're screaming for help like that. Spock would never, that's the range this actor did. Although I was gonna say, it was weird to see him do those things, yet have no difference in emotion from the actual character of Spock.

Not a big emoter. He goes zero to 10, that actor. You know what I mean? Yeah, he goes zero to 10 in about actor. You know what I mean? Yeah, he goes zero to 10 in about 60 minutes. Okay, good. Haas says he knows where Arnie might be, right? But he wants to get to him first, and there's a whole, they do a thing where in order to give Haas

the head start he needs to reach Arnie before the posse does, they have a very unnecessary scene between the sheriff and Ben Cartwright and Adam maybe. But they could've just, I think there's ways to do that in storytelling where you don't have to see the time that the fella gets the head start. Yeah, it's called an edit. There's a funny exchange in this scene

where one of the guys is like, I want to know where he is. And then the sheriff is like, would you shut up? And then he turns to the car rights and goes, where is he though? Do you think? That's right. He says shut up. It is unusual.

This show is unassailable. Man, it's great. I love it. Oh, but then there's another funny moment. Oh, it's that it's that Haas is writing off and they're like, wait, where's he going? And then he goes, would you shut up? Wait, where is he going?

Well, the other thing, I believe this happened, I wrote it down, I think it happened, is that Haas says quietly to Ben Cartwright, he says, I know he'll be up at Granite Point, he's at Granite Point, and I'm gonna go and get a head start. And then the sheriff says, Ben, where is he? And Ben's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

he'll kill some time. And then a moment later, the sheriff goes, so will where is he? And Ben's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. He finally, you know, kills some time. And then a moment later, the sheriff goes, so will you lead us to this granite point? But nobody ever told the sheriff anything about granite point. I think it was a minor one. Only time there's ever been an error in one of these scripts. I wouldn't even call it an error.

No. It's just a moment of interpretation. He just stalled him. He does the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, bus tax. It's a cap moment of interpretation. He just stalled him. He does the, blah, blah, blah, blah, plus tax. It's a curriculum ambiguity. And the sheriff somehow knew Grandet Point. Yes. Even though he asked, okay, whatever.

All right, but sure enough, old Hoss gets to Arnie first and he's looking, this is the moment where, you know how the Of Mice and Men ends here, Emily Heumann? I feel like I do now. We're gonna get- From watching this. Spoilers for Of Mice and Men ends here, Emily Heumann. I feel like I do now. We're going to get spoilers for Of Mice and Men. Lenny is the idiot, right? And he's gone and killed a girl, just like he killed a mouse earlier in the book. Not out of violence, though, out of love and fear.

Impulse. He's not anger. But doesn't matter. Curly, old Vaseline hand, Curly, and everybody else on the farm, they're gonna kill, for sure they're gonna lynch him. And his best friend George, who's done nothing but defend throughout this book,

says, yes, it's true, he must die. And he says, but I'm not gonna let a mob do it. I'm gonna do it myself. And so he tells him, look out across the water there. And he takes out his gun and he shoots. This is a spoiler for A Mice and Men. Written in 1937. He goes and he shoots his dear friend.

He does, so a lynch mob won't do it. And it's about to happen in this episode. Hoss raises up his gun while Arnie is staring out across the water thinking about his farm and all them moo cows. But then Hoss doesn't do it. He does what George shoulda done in of Mice and Men. What Steinbeck didn't think of

because he was not as smart as Gene Kuhn. He goes, he says, turn around Arnie. And now Arnie sees the gun and he says, I'm gonna take you down to the posse and I'm gonna make sure through my power of persuasion that they don't hurt you. And you'll get a fair trial and whatnot. Right. But Arnie in a rare example of a standup,

being a standup fella, he punches out Haas again, now one punch, punches out Haas and says, I can't let you do that because they'll kill you too. If you're standing next to me, I'm going to go face the policy myself. And then he goes and faces the policy, but then he picks up a giant log like he wants to defeat him. He looks like Donkey Kong in that moment. It's the one time where I'm like, okay, yeah, they should call him an ape. It's the only time that he makes sense.

He picks up a log like he's going to throw it down like a barrel, like Donkey Kong, right. And it's going to take out like 10 men. Yeah. Yeah. But no, they to take out like 10 men. Yeah. Yeah. But no, they shoot, they fill them full of bullets. So many times. They shoot that old ape. Well, you got to shoot.

It's like King Kong, basically. You know, you can't just shoot him one time to get him off the Empire State Building. Bunch of times. And he falls like King Kong. That's it. He's dead, right? Yeah. Boy, what a summer end to this episode. Hoss puts... Would have been better for him if Hoss just shot him in the back of the. He's dead. Right. Boy, what a summer into this episode. Hoss puts.

Would have been better for him if Hoss just shot him in the back of the head. I think. Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. I didn't think about that. But given the way things turn out. Do you think they were like, well, if we do that, then people will know it's a rip off. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. We can count bunnies with cows. Just enough that no one will notice. That's right. We have possible deniability unless H notice. We've ripped off of my family. We have plausible deniability

unless Hoss shoots him in the back of the head. Maybe that's right. But anyway, he goes, oh boy, it's a beautiful ending. You couldn't help but cry when Hoss says, I'm gonna take him to his farm to bury him. We're gonna bury him there. Clearly what's going on there. He's no longer big, he's dead.

He's no longer big, he's dead. He's no longer big, he's dead. And by the way, it's definitely Cal Boulder on the back of that horse under that blanket. He hauled away. You can tell. Well, and that's how this beautiful episode ends. And I'm sad to say, after this, we only have 385 episodes of Bonanza left to talk about.

How do you feel about that, Emily? That just feels like life is so short. I mean, if there's one thing we've learned from this episode is that life is short, especially if you can't stop punching people. Right. That was his problem. He couldn't say, oh, at some point it is made explicit that he did, in fact, murder. Oh, yes. It is made explicit that he murdered that guy. And that's where he got in fact murder. Oh yes it is made explicit that he murdered that guy and that's where he got that money from. Yep he did he murdered a man

took his money and killed a girl and kill anybody else no but he's it's just it's clear he's uncontrollable he's a menace he's a mess. He wants so badly to not be punching and hurting but yeah but people keep laughing near him. That's right. So if he has a point, you can't laugh near someone without risk of being killed. It really did make me think though, are there jokes in this?

Does his point of view reflect the point of view of the show of just hating laughter? Oh, I see what you mean. No, I guess there are jokes in it. There are jokes. From time to time, they'll put a light moment in the bonanza. It usually has to do with little jokes. Yeah, they're usually joking with each other. It's not one so as to make the audience laugh. It's one where you kind of go, oh, look, they're having a laugh. It was kind of funny when they were fighting in the beginning and he goes,

do you remember what we're fighting about? Oh, that was good. And the guy's like, no. And it's like, well, his brain doesn't really work. So we don't know if that's why or not. But that's right. After an hour and 15 minutes of fighting, Haas says you're damn near as strong as me, which is also funny because he's a lot stronger. Yeah. you're damn near as strong as me, which is also funny because he's a lot stronger. But, but yeah, they see, do you remember what we're fighting about? No. And they have a good laugh over. Yeah. Boy, I'll tell you. It really seems like they're about to kiss. Yeah, it did. It's not the first time that Hawes has just sort of befriended somebody at the end of a long fight. In fact, that's usually how he's. Yeah. He's thatable. A battle between giants just sort of comes down to,

gosh, you're big too. There's so few of us. Yeah. It's also funny that he's like, look, I relate to this guy, and the thing is, like, you have to learn how to be okay with being made fun of if you're that big. And to me, I'm kind of like, I would think that most of the time people would say, I'm kind of like, I would think that most of the time, people would say,

I'm not going to make fun of the biggest guy here. Yeah. That seems like the last person I should be making jokes about. That's true. It seems like if you're little, you got to put up with it. But if you're big,

it seems like you can just punch your way out of having to learn to laugh at yourself. That's a good point. Yeah, little Joe should have been mocked more. Yeah. Yeah. Well, he does. He gets a little bit of mocking, but Joe should have been mocked more. Yeah. Well, he does. He gets a little bit of mocking, but not in this episode.

But you're right. Yeah, Hoss's main message to him was, man, if you're going to be a weirdo like me, you just have to put up with being made fun of. But yeah, no, nobody's going to make fun of that guy. Well, all right. Arnie's dead and so is Sherri Bell and old Freddie is never seen again. This is Leonard Nimoy's one and only episode ofri Bell and old Freddie, who's never seen again.

This is Leonard Nimoy's one and only episode of Bananas, never seen again. However, by the way, this sheriff, Sheriff Roy Coffee, this is his, I think, second of 98 Bananas episode. That's very unusual. All as the sheriff? All as the sheriff. Oh, I wonder, Ray Teal.

Alrighty, I'd say we just about done her. Anything else anybody wants to say about this episode? At one point it kind of sounded like someone at the saloon was playing the Family Guy theme song on the piano. Oh really? On what? On the piano. I'm gonna go back and watch for that.

How does the Family Guy theme song go? Here comes the Family Guy. It's like it seems today that all you see is violence, the movies and sex. I really don't like admitting that I know the family guy theme song by heart right now. But I kept like, I kept listening to the song being like, I'm waiting for it to deviate enough to be like, oh, it's not the family guy theme song. And I just, it didn't, I didn't get there. Well, which came first, Bonanza or the family guy? No one knows.

Yeah. We'd have to find out. One of them ripped off the other. Yeah, just like A Mice and Men. Yep, yep. I guess it's fair then. It's karma. It's karma.

Yeah. All right, we're plugging things, but you got some stand-up, you saying there's stand-up comedy that you've done. Oh yeah. It's available. I've got a couple albums. One is called Good for Her,

and another one is called Pasta. And I've got an hour long special that you can watch for free on YouTube. Really? Yeah. Whoa. Called Ice Thickeners. Well, you can't watch Kennedy being berated

by Martin Landau, but you can watch Ice Thickeners. Yes, Ice Thickeners. Oh, like conversational ice thickeners? Uh-huh. And like versus ice breakers. Oh, like conversational ice thickeners? Uh-huh, and like versus icebreakers. Oh, I see, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's good.

Not to give away any of my punch lines, but if you want to know more about what that means. Sometimes you do need an ice thickener in a conversation. Sure you do. There's times when it's like, how do I get out of this? Let me talk about James P. Yarborough being murdered by his boyfriend. I can't believe that name stays with you. I like it. Impressive. Well, if you want merch, you're going to go to adpodproject.redbubble.com and you can follow us on, well, maybe not anymore. But you can mail us things at P.O. Box 9407 Glendale, California, 91226 or email us at

Bonanna's podcast at gmail.com. I ain't done, I don't think I'm going to do threads. I ain't going to do it. I'm not doing it. No. My friend Matt, he went over there and he wonders why he did. Yeah. Yeah.

To me, I'm like, I'm already trapped in the ones I'm in. Yeah. I'm not signing up for another one that I know is gonna be bad until I have to. And he had given up on Twitter for almost a year. Your friend Matt did? So why did he go do Threads? I mean, I get, I think people did it to make Elon Musk mad,

which I support, but I think that- Oh, you people went to Threads to make Elon Musk mad. Yeah, cause they were like- That was nice. Yeah. Yeah. But- It's just as bad. support but I think oh people went to threads to make Elon Musk mad yeah yeah yeah it's it's just as bad yeah that's why I keep buying hummers just to make Elon Musk mad yeah I got 13 of them now yeah he must be fuming he talks about it all the time all right folks that'll dance an episode of Bananas for Bananza. We'll see you next time when we'll talk about another one.

Oh, wait, my sign off is I say, now get! Bye now! Pfft! Bananas for Bananza is brought to you by Andy Daly with Maria Bamper and Matt Gourley. Theme song by Matt Gourley with The Journeyman, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikoff and Wade Wright. Bananas for Bonanza is mixed and edited by Mark McConville. Executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt G Matt Gordon. We'll see you around.

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