Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #55: “The Tax Collector”

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly The old gray mare may not be what she used to be, but Bonanza is in fine form in Season 2, Episode 22, “The Tax Collector”. Guests Mark McConville and Colin Bannersham, host of the podcast Cheeky Minders For Peaky Blinders, discuss this highly comical episode about race horses, childbirth and taxes!Featuring Mark McConville and Taran KillamMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 2/20/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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You're about to listen to Bananas for Bonanza, episode 55, which was released to our Patreon subscribers on February 28th, 2024. This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bananza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and ad free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daly.

You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord and more. Subscribe today and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza is the finest show alive, so consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside, take some ponderosa pride and forever make it right. I'm Bonanza started as I absolutely always do with a yee haw. Oh, but then the silence that follows the yee haw could break a man's heart. Folks, after God knows how many episodes we've done of this show, this is the first one ever that we're gonna have to go ahead and persevere on without the Mutt Taylor.

He ain't never missed one before. He's got a perfect goddamn attendance record. Ain't nobody could challenge that attendance record, but he ain't here today. And he ain't here today because there's been some, uh, uh, everybody in the house is sick or something like that to where as he couldn't even commit to doing a live stream via zooms, cause he's like, I'm no, you don't understand it's chaos in my home. So he says out of all of our, all of our bad options, we took this one. We're fine.

We're doing the first time ever is the episode without much Taylor. And it hurts my heart. I feel like, I feel like a person, what were you going to say? Hot broken, hot broken. Yeah. No, I was going to say? Heartbroken. Heartbroken. Yeah, no, I was going to say I feel like a something without his something, but I couldn't come up with the right.

Lone Ranger time. Cowboy without his horse. Yeah, I feel like a cowboy without his, well, I don't think I don't quite ride much. I don't ride much around. You know that, right? A podcaster without his co-host. There, that is what I feel like. I feel like a podcasting man without that he's got his co-host.

Sometimes a literal explanation is the best, yeah? Yeah, that's right. That's like the most direct analogy you can find. Yeah. From the thing itself to the thing itself. Yeah. Well folks, we're here doing it and you've heard from our guest already.

I'm gonna introduce him, but actually before I introduce him, I'm gonna tell you who's here sort of pinching in, filling in and helping out for, but is our old dear friend, Martin McCarnival. That's not my name, but say to what Mark McConville is my name. Mark one more time for me, Mark McConville. And then a third time and it's locked in for good. Mark McConville, Martin McCarnival is here and he is our sound man, our

engineer, Phila and a good friend of the show. And he is jumping in to help us out here. And have you watched the episode? I've seen it. Oh, you have? Yes, sir. Fantastic.

Okay. That's good. Now it's time to introduce our guest. Ladies and gentlemen, his name is Colin Bannersham and he is a host of a podcast himself and his podcast is called Cheeky Minders for Peaky Blinders. That's right. That's right, Dom. Cheeky Minders for Peaky Blinders. Tell us about it.

It's sort of a spiritual sequel to this podcast, you know what I mean? Because chronologically, Bonanza is what? Mid-19th century. Oh, that's when it took place. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Not filmed, obviously. No, no, no. That's the purpose of the podcast in that we believe we're watching

a historical documentary in Bonanza. A lot of people do think that. I don't say it often enough that though this show took place in the 1860s, That's right. It was in fact filmed in the 1960s. I don't say it enough on this show. Starting and then ending well into the 70s.

You're right about that. They went all the way to 1973. I think when Nixon was impeached, they said, we don't have the heart to go home. It was something like that. You can't trust it anymore. Our heroes are falling down. Systems are collapsing. Yeah, exactly. Tricky Dick's gone. P, riding off into the sunset. That's right. That's what happened. Well, I was inspired by your affinity for this television series.

Okay. And so I took up my culture's sort of the Great Britain's bonanza. Wait a minute, are you from Europe? Yeah. From the UK, the United Kingdom. I noticed that you had a strange manner of speaking, but I wasn't going to make fun of it. But now I might. We don't usually have people from Europe on. So it's a real exception. Well, but there are-

You know I'm a man of the American West and I don't have too much appreciation for goddamn Europe. I have to respect that. All right. That's fine. All right. Good. I have to respect that. Although I do think there's been some prominent European representation within the stretch of Bonanza. I know you're, you're, you're only into the second of 14 seasons. Is that right? Well, well, yeah, we're almost done.

We've got only a, yeah. You can see the finish line. Sadly. So yes, it encroaches every day upon us. Well, but then chronologically around the time of 1880, I'll say, is when the street gangs, very similar to the Cartwright family, sprung up in the slums of London, the Peaky Blinders. They are the Cartwright family of the UK. Is that what your podcast concerns the television?

Cheeky Minders for Peaky Blinders. So you're telling me, hang on now, god damn it, I should have found out something about you before we started this. That's alright. You got, there's gangs in London in the 1880s, and one of them called themselves the Peaky Blinders.

You're spot on, mate. Why did they, why did they call, you ever heard of this here before? I've heard of the show, yes. You've heard of the show. The show is brilliant. So this is, and then they made a show about the Peaky Blinders. Correct, filmed in the 2010s.

Holy shit, okay, this is a lot to unravel. Peaky Blinders. Peaky Blinders are called such because they used to stab people with their hats and blind them. Yeah. The peaky blinders, they put steel in the brim of the hat to blind their opponents. How do you... Just go ahead and go ahead and... How do I know that? No, no. Go ahead and describe the maneuver. Here I am walking around town with my head

on. It's a British head, I guess. What's that like? Sure. A little... Well, we got pork pie. We've got the knee Z cap, which I'm featuring here. It could be a hat just like what you have on now. You put the blade into the brim and you go, hey, mate, you all right?

Bam! Oh, I see. You don't even take off. Oh, you don't even take it off. It's not like odd job. OK. That's what I was pictured. I know. I could see that that was your frame of reference. Old James been bringing in the fella who had a razor blade in his bowler hat. And all the way around the brim. Yeah.

That's neat. How come nobody ever saw that and said, I'm going to do that in real life. They should on bonanza. Look at the, there's brims for days. Everybody's got a head on Bonanza. Hoss could have fit a cannonball in the top of that thing. And as far as we know, he did, but, uh, I don't think so. He's throwing that hat around a lot on this episode. It's a very silly episode. Oh, this is one of them episodes.

It gets real funny. I wonder if I can push this back further here, there, your live stream for a wider lens. That's even a little bit better. Yeah. I like that I can push this back further here to your live stream. Going for a wider lens. That's even a little bit better. Yeah, I like that a little bit better. Yeah, this is a hilarious episode of The Names of Man. I love it. I don't remember the show being quite so silly. Oh, I wouldn't use the word silly. It's poignant and wonderful and hilarious. They managed to pack it all in.

And this has to be a fact. Never before in the history of television has Old Grey Mare underscored so much television content. You got that right. From the jump. Out the rickety gate. The Old Grey Mare, she ain't what she used to be, but she came in handy for this episode of Bonanza. Scene after scene is underscored with that song. You're right. The first half I started clocking it early on and I was like, we're sticking to old gray mare. Well, it must be an episode about an old gray mare. Yep.

It unfortunately is not. It's, it's, it's a, um, uh, middle-aged brown pregnant mare. Right. Turns out a couple of race horses too, but those aren't old gray mares. No, right. They're not old. No, all gray. They're in their prime. Right. You're right about that. Do they race mares? Oh, I guess the mayor they buy from upstate is a mayor. There's a mayor involved. Yes. Well, Sally's a mayor, but she ain't gray and she ain't old. No, and they're painting it as if Jacques is kind of the all-gray mare of it. It's sort of his

leitmotif. I guess that's right. I guess that's right. I don't know what a leitmotif is, but they must have them in Europe. I ain't going to argue about it. Man oh man, so you host a podcast all about it. How many seasons was there of this Peaky Blinders? I think, I think there's still one to air. Oh really? I believe that will be the sixth or the seventh. I'm not, I don't quite remember. They hardly even did any. No, they're much more efficient with their storytelling over the course of the pond.

Well, how many episodes in a season did they do? Ten. Well, that's absurd. A third of the all but they're barely working. A triple dozen. Do the, what's that? Do's a third of the all, but they're barely working. Triple dozen. Do the, what's that? Do the people on the cast have other jobs? It's chock full of movie stars. Is he really? Yes. Oh, that's the problem. Killian Murphy, Tom Hardy. Um, um, um, um, everybody, the, the engine of the hour, from the menu. Yeah. Oh, Margot, Robert.

Nope. Anya Taylor Joy. Yeah, that's it. That's it, mate. I never heard of that before in my life. Stella cast Stella. Let me ask you guys a serious question, and I might I could back it up with tape, but I ain't going to. All right.

This fellow you mentioned his name, Killian or Cillian. Killian. OK, who cares? He is from you. You inquired. Right. He's from Ireland. Yes. Now, when this fellow opens his mouth to talk like a regular person, like he does, like you and me do, he talks just as we are in his regular way of talking, which sounds like an Ireland man. OK, that's right. Yes.

But when he goes to do in the movie is called Oppenheimer. Sure. He come out and he says Oppenheimer was American. I'm going to try to speak like an American. And now when he does that, it is my strongly held opinion that he sounds precisely like Robin Williams in a drama. Am I the only person that feels that way? Oh dear. Oh, no. Here we go. We've got to get the bomb. That's exactly what this movie is. Robin Williams building, Robin Williams.

Their arsenal. I don't know that he's spoken to it publicly. Has he come out and said, my idea for the movie was Robin Williams designs a nuclear bomb that could wipe out civilization. Cause that's what I hear. Oh, careful radiation. That's what it is man.

The little fellas are shrieking. What, no, it's in a drama now. Oh, the jump higher. It's more the, it's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Is that Robin Williams?

It's not your fault. It's not your fault. Son of a bitch stole my line. Oh, exactly. Son of a bitch stole my line. Oh, exactly. To where literally interesting, I heard a radio program and they played a clip from that movie without first saying what they was playing. And I said, well, there's old Robin Williams. Why are we talking about Robin Williams today? And they say it is Oppenheimer. I said, God damn. Now, do I, do I, do I have this right? That you did not care for Oppenheimer then? I have

not seen it. Well, I literally, that's the reason I have not seen it. It's straight up your alley. It takes place in the Southwest. Yeah. True. About American might. Is there cowboys in it? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uhhhhh uh There's a lot of Mesa's though. A lot of what? Mesa's. Beautiful vistas. Chock full of Western American desert Mesa's.

Yeah, I don't want to see the beautiful American West blown up by some goddamn German bomb. Hell no. Let alone make it a Robin Williams bomb. I don't want to see it. It's a Robin Williams bomb, like RV. Like Patrick Adams. Oh, wee.

Ha ha ha. Robots Like Patch Adams. Robots. Robots. Oh brother. Oh Lord Almighty. It's a real Robin Williams bomb. Someone's gonna think we spent all that time just to get there but we didn't because I truly believe he's doing a Robin Williams impression and he shouldn't have. And if I was Robin Williams's people, I'd sue him for it. Well, that's my strongly held belief. Have you seen many of the Oscar movies? Oscar time is coming, everybody's excited.

You have? I've seen quite a bit of them, yeah. I've also seen most of them, yes. You have? Yeah. Gee whiz. So you have an awareness that there is the goal to view as much Oscar fare

Yeah, but you're shocked when anybody achieves it. I am shocked. I can't believe it Where do you find the time and not just the time but the willingness because I don't have movies along now. It's true It's true. They do feel like homework. Yes, sometimes no, it's not a joyful season. Is it? No, no There's one German actress who is in two of the main sort of competition features. And I'm blanking on a name. On your jailer tones. Again, where were you literally eight minutes ago?

No, this she's in Anatomy of a Fall. And then she's also in a zone of interest. Oh, sure. She's in both those both very heavy. Dalton, have you seen anatomy of a fall? No. Do you like dogs doing the impossible? I guess so.

This dog does some stuff that makes you think. The dog should be nominated. How did they get the dog to do some of the things? Not even moving from one space in the room to another, but literally moving its head and narrowing its eyes at the precisely right moment. Have you guys seen Air Bud? You ever seen them? Which one? Oh, golden receiver. That's what I'm thinking of. Air buddies? Air buddies. Yeah. Oh, the other air buddies, the little puppies. You can get a dog to do anything in a movie these days. It's amazing.

As long as there's no rule in the rule book. That's a very common repeated line of dialogue from all air bud films. There's no rule in the rule book you can't have. A dog shoot from the free point line or a dog man a rocket to space. So they felt it was necessary to ground the movie. Yeah. You've got to justify it, mate. You've got to justify it. Yeah, okay. All right. No one wants an unjustified buddy.

Although unjustified buddy might be a show you're into. Starring Timothy Oliphant. Sure. He's all right, I guess. But anyway, yeah, they ain't no westerns in Oscars this year and anytime they do have a western, half the Cowboys is gay these days. And I say, hell hell can't can't do it. So that's my opinion on Oscar. You're in a real Sam Elliott mood this morning. He was right.

Don't film a goddamn Western in New Zealand. You sons of bitches. I couldn't agree more. Should we talk about this episode of Bonanza? We're here to talk about today. Have you had a chance to watch it, Colin? I saw it start to finish. Of course you, yeah, yeah.

It's funny, man. I'll tell you this episode, oh wait, wait. Let me say the thing I say at the beginning of every episode of Bananas for Bonanza. 15 minutes in. Sometimes it works that way. Hello, friend, come on in. The gate is open wide.

Welcome to Bananas for Bananza. Prior to this is all preamble and we might not use it. Today we'll be discussing season two, episode 22, The Tax Collector. And man, this episode has everything. It's got horse racing and horse racing is a big pastime in Virginia city in this episode. That's right. Yeah. This episode. Very easy to put together.

Very easy to gather a crowd. We've never heard reference to horse racing before. Apparently done in laps, only shown on two streets. Right. Some of the footage gets reused. With frequency. We were hoping you wouldn't notice that. When you brought up earlier, like, oh, did I think that it was shot in the 1860s? I knew

very clearly with every wobbly cactus behind jocks worn down barn. I'll have you know that the cactuses of the upper Nevada territory do wobble when a horse runs past them. That's how it is up there. It's always been the case. My bad. My bad. And there is an all female lynch mob in this episode. You don't see that very often. Look at, look at those, what does he say? Look at those crazy biddies. That's my wife. I'm telling you, man, I couldn't catch my breath from laughing at this episode. Makes

me laugh so much. And then I couldn't think of a third thing that was in this episode. Makes me laugh so much. And then I couldn't think of a third thing that was in this episode. Horse racing, all female. A missing brother. A missing, well that's true. Now it is not uncommon for a member of the Bonanza cast to not show up for an episode.

It has happened. But usually, like in everybody's saying there ain't nothing in the real book, they throw in some line of dialogue explaining where the missing cast member is. This time, nothing. No, no mention. Not nothing at all. If you'd never seen the show before, you would not know there's a fourth member of the clan. And multiple family meals in Druid in the center of the family home.

True. And Adam is not mentioned once. Not mentioned, not there. But who is there, my friends is good. All hop sang, ball to all hop sang all the hop sang. Even the biggest hop sang fan could want. He's not in a very big, it's hop sing is mildly offensive. What do you mean by that? I mean, it's, I don't understand what you're saying. He's a man from China. You understand? I see. I see. Yes. Yes. It's just, he's played a bit arch, I'd say. And at first you go, listen, sign of the times, at least there's some representation. There's no appropriation of casting. There you go. And yet little Joe has to really beat us over the head

with the mispronunciation of, what does he say? He's like, I'll be careful or I'll be, it'll be lucky. And he goes, I'll be lully. Yeah. Little Joe, it's a joke in act three. Well, he's hilarious, little Joe. He's so funny. And so of course- You know what little Joe has in this? Really great hand acting. There's one, there's a choice where he goes, so what's the plan, Pa? What's the plan, Pa? And it's the scene where they say conniving

57 times. Oh yeah, conniving. Yeah. Connive as singulars, conniving as multiples. I noticed something strange in this episode. I never noticed it before. Okay. Little Joe does not have belt loops on his belt. That's what happens when you get 55 episodes into a show. You suddenly go, hey, he doesn't have belt loops. And then you think to yourself, maybe in 1860, there wasn't getting fussy with little belt loops on the pants, but everybody else has them. He's got a thick black belt around his waist.

It ain't got no belt. I don't see to where it could hold up a pant if it ain't got the belt loops on it. You know what I mean? Is it holding up his pistol? Does he have a holster on the belt? He's got a whole separate gun belt, my friend. Separate from the belt that he's just wearing with no loops.

That's right. He's got a fashion belt. I think. He's also got a gun belt and there's zero loops holding either of them up. Right. Yeah. Shocking. Like a boring roller coaster.

Shocking. Zero loops. Zero loops. I've been on them, man. Shocking. Zero loops. Zero loops. I've been on them, man. I've been on them. I'll tell you what. Anytime you get on a roller coaster and you say, do I need to take off my cowboy hat and you're ready for a fight?

And they say, no, it's okay. You've got to be a big Thunder fan. Oh, but over there at what? Disneyland? Yeah. That's the only part of Disney. I go straight to the park. It looks like the American West.

Frontierland. And you just exist. And somebody says to me, hey, what about Fantasyland? Do you want to go to tomorrow? I say, fuck that. If it ain't here in the frontier, I ain't going. Those deep fried chicken strips, are they just like you have out on the range? Yeah, they're good.

But I'm going to tell you what. When they got rid of that big Thunder barbecue, all you care to eat, it's made it very difficult for me to return to their establishment, I'll tell you what. I appreciate that it's an all you care to eat and not an all you can eat. That's a good move by them because you got, they must have had people going in there going, I, God damn, I want to stop eating these ribs, but it says all I can eat and I can eat a little bit more anyway. That's my opinion on the food at Disneyland. We're covered so many topics

that turned into star word, didn't it? They put star where the part of it. Yeah, exactly. Unbelievable. God damn star ward bullshit. Some people call that a space Western. I know. And that's why I've seen it. That's the only reason I've seen it. But you didn't like it. I says, where's the horses? I don't believe Han Solo had belt loops either. I don't know about that, but now I'm interested. If anybody out there has an explanation as to why Joe didn't have no belt loops and other historical precedents for no belt loops,

let's get into it. We, uh, okay. All right, hey. Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 PM with your chance at the number one feeling. Winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do. Who wants this last parachute? I do. Daily jackpots, a chance to win with every spin and a guaranteed winner by 11 PM every day.

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it forces them to question her actual identity. Told from multiple perspectives, Good American Family is inspired by the true events behind the disturbing story of Natalia Grace and unpacks the case that spiraled from private suspicion to public spectacle. Now streaming only on Disney Plus. This episode aired on February 18th, 1961. You want to know what was happening in the country at that time?

The movie Exodus was back in the number one slot. Exodus, Paul Newman, it has no relevance today. It is about the establishment of Israel. And, oh, Dalton Trimba wrote it. This was the movie that broke the blacklist. Oh. Okay, who cares? All right.

And then you got the number one country song was Wings of a Dove by Ferlin Husky. You guys know this song? Sing a little bit, Dalton. All the wings of the snow wide. Hell, I'm not gonna sing it because I'm gonna show you Ferlin Husky singing it. I'm gonna go straight to the clip of it

because in my opinion, you watch this man perform this song and he has a degree of confidence that I would only describe as punchable. What? You want to punch him. Oh. When you watch him perform. It was not quite clear to me either if he was the puncher or the punchy.

No, you see, if I was one of these folks back here behind him in this clip. Yes. I would have gotten in front of him. You'd be winding up. I'd punch him in the face. Let's have a look and we'll see. We'll see if you see what I mean. Maybe I just.

It looks like it's a scene from Maestro. Another Oscar fare film. Really? Have you seen that one? Is it a Western? No. No, it's an Eastern. It's very Eastern, yes.

I haven't seen it, I ain't gonna. Okay, here's Ferlin Husky with Wings of a Dove. It gets a nice intro from the hook. Great spiritual loop we'd like to do for you folks now. Ferlin, you suppose it would bother anything if all of us joined in with you? Well, I wouldn't want to do it unless all of you help me. All right, then.

We're ready when you are. On the wings of the soul white dove, he sends his purest wings. Wait till the close up. He's not singing live. On the wings of a dove. Sing mama, mama. On the wings of a dove. Dove. He's not singing live. You got to punch that guy, right?

Yeah. Choose the side of your mouth, mate. Yeah. Oh, I don't like that. Something about him I don't like. Yeah. Am I crazy? No. Good. Unenjoyable. Number one song in 61. That's right. Country song. Country song. Now I'm gonna, I'm gonna inflict something further upon you because Ferlin Husky, strange thing about Ferlin Husky. And I don't know why, but we talked about this in another episode. He was on the boat when Natalie Wood died.

Well, that's true. Yes. Yeah. Is that true? He's been cleared of all real wrongdoing. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah. He was below deck. All I care about is between Robert Wagner and Christopher Welk and one of them, when they die, if they could just leave a note. Someone knows someone. Someone knows something. Yeah. Some bullshit. All right. What do we got? Oh, I'm going to show you. He's a Furlan Husky had an alter ego who was a comedy act, Simon Crumb. And Simon Crumb had a separate recording contract and, and sometimes he'd perform a Simon Crumb. Is this, is this on Yee-Haw? No, I don't know what this is on. You're thinking of... Yee-Haw?

Yee-Haw? You're thinking of Hee-Haw. No, not familiar. Man, that show's funny. You ever see Hee-Haw? Boy, oh boy, that's funny. I'll have many perils. Here we go, Ferlin Husky.

This is him singing it. Call me out, call me out! All right, you want me to introduce you now? Yeah, tell them what I'm gonna do! All right. Oh no. Ladies and gentlemen, here's that great Capitol recording star I don't know what's going on at all. So the difference of this character is his hair's a bit must. Yeah.

It looks like Ferlin Husky was the Garth Brooks of his time. That's what it is! What was that other fella's name? Chris Gaines. Chris Gaines. Simon is the Chris to... That's the question. Which one was the Chris?

You say Simon Crum is the Chris Gaines to Ferlin Husky. To Ferlin Husky. Garth Brooks. Garth Brooks. Okay. Whatever happened to Garth Brooks? He's still out there making country music? I think he's doing all right. He tours. He plays Oklahoma. Oklahoma City Clubs. He's got Paul there. No, I think he does. I think he does sell out arenas still to this day.

I'm sure. Does he ever pull out Chris Gaines? Probably not. Probably not. Guess not. The number one song on the pop charts was Calcutta by Lawrence Wilk. Maybe we'll ask Martin McCarnival to lay it in under us

in the edit when we do that. Oh, you're here now. Martin McCarnival, will you? We would do it. Sure. All right. Because it. Sure. All right. Cause it's beautiful.

What do you want under there? Calcutta by Lawrence Wilk. It's beautiful. It's a, it's a instrumental song. I wouldn't think you'd like Lawrence Wilk. No, but I don't. But this is a pretty, it's, I love when they have the instrumental songs.

They don't do that anymore. You can't find them. You once said to me, you never trusted, you couldn't trust a man with a wand. A wand. Yes, a wand. Yeah. Like you couldn't trust a man with a wand. A wand? Yes, a wand. A wand. Yeah, like a, you talking about a magic wand?

Yeah. Well he's got a conductor's wand. A baton, yeah. Yeah, right, one of them there. I don't trust him for a number of reasons. I see. One of them which is he can conjure bubbles on his television show. That's wizard bullshit.

Now here's what's interesting. He was 57 years old when this hit the charts that made him the oldest person ever to have a number one song in the country. Would you care to know who just a couple of months ago shattered that record? Who is it? Tracy Chapman. Incorrect but that's a good guess. Thank you. You've done good. Joni Mitchell. Also. Great guess. Thank you. But incorrect.

Okay. Is it someone who's still alive? Someone who is still alive. Michael McDonald. No, not at all. What a fool. What a fool believes. It was, this is a woman who's now 78 years old

who recorded a song when she was 13 years old. Stevie Nicks. That just hit the top of the chart. Dolly Parton. Brenda Lee. Brenda Lee! He's got it. Kate Bush!

But yo, you gotta, we arrived at the answer. Brenda Lee recorded the song when she was 13, jingled Rockin' Around the Jingle, whatever the fuck. And now it's number one, game number one in December. Isn't that wild? Incredible. Anything. It went back to number one. Why? That I do not know. Why in December of 2023? Has to be because of Stranger Things.

Oh, it was, do you think they put it in Stranger Things? Must have been. Rocking around the Christmas tree. Same, you know, Tracy Chapman and the big bloke. Loatbush, all that. Tracy Chapman because of the Grammys. Fast car. What?

You know, it's called in the UK. What's that? Fast coach. Does it run on petrol over there? You got a fast coach. I got affiliate with petrol on the left. Goddamn, they do everything wrong over there. I'll tell you what.

The celebrity birthday, the person who was born on this date, man, you're going to love it. Alicia Molton, American tennis player. In 1984, she won the Ridgewood Open, a defunct women's tennis tournament held in some town called Ridgewood, New Jersey that was played on indoor carpet courts. But the tournament wasn't defunct at the time. No, I believe it was. She wanted a defunct tournament.

I believe it was. It's the only one there. I just picture her on like a creepy, cracked, overgrown tennis court. Yeah. She discovered like the secret garden. I've never heard of a carpet. Yeah, I've never heard of an indoor carpeted tennis court before in my life. Precursor to astroturf.

Maybe I guess so. It was 1984. It's really interesting. Yeah. I thought my understanding is she showed up alone to a dilapidated, uh, it's just a ballroom and brought her own trophy. But Jack Nicholson was the bartender. We've been expecting you something like that.

This episode was directed by William Whitney. This was his first of 27 bonanzas. Quentin Tarantino has called him one of the greatest action directors in the history of show business. Beg to differ. Maybe he's just getting his feet wet on this one. Good old Quentin, a fan of the wide pan. Well. Of which there are seven minutes of Hoss running between two doors.

Oh yeah, that's the best. That's the best use of a camera I've ever seen. Because Hoss does not value human life over animal life. You're right. That's exactly right. He doesn't. That's a good point. Thanks.

So is this. That is a good point. That's like, so is this. That is a good point. That's for the live stream. That's beautiful. I can't even see what she's pointing. All right. Here's the movies Tarantino considers his best. The Golden Stallion, Stranger at My Door, the Bonnie Parker story and paratroop command, Quentin Tarantino has seen all four of them movies that you two never

heard of. He is credited with devising the modern system of film and fight scenes in segments rather than continuously from start to finish. How about that? Coverage. Yes. Yeah. He came up with that whole idea. He came up with a cut during a punch. That's what he did. Prior to that, it was just, he just put the camera and let everybody fight. I don't know. That's what Wikipedia says.

He's also in a movie called mysterious Dr. Satan and 20 years later, Dr. Satan's robot. I'm interested to check those out. They're not Westerns. They can't be West. Dr. Satan's robot is a Western. Probably.

Arnold Bellegarde wrote this episode. This is his first of three bananas, bananas. He also, this show comes up all the time at people's resumes on IMDB. Arnold Bellegarde wrote this episode. This is his first of three bonanzas. He also, this show comes up all the time at People's Resumes on IMDb. The wackiest ship in the Army. Let me just tell you the premise of this, because now I have to see it. It says, in the spring of 1942, the New Zealand government presents the United States a 70-year-old wooden twin master schooner.

The U.S. military decides to use the ship to place spies ashore behind Japanese lines. Got to see that show. Man. Oh man. Sounds wacky. Sure does. Sounds like a laugh riot. Yeah. Is every episode just people getting on the boat, one place sailing the ship to Japan, right? And then in the middle of the night, they get off the ship and then the next episode just does that again. Exactly.

As kamikaze pilots bomb US aircrafts in the background. Yeah. That's wacky. You gotta say that. Have you seen Godzilla minus one, by the way? What is it? Godzilla minus one. No, I think it needed to be Godzilla minus Godzilla. Get rid of that dumb lizard.

Wow. Yeah. Godzilla minus everything and make it a western. I ain't seen it. If Godzilla found an oversized cowboy hat, would you accept him as part of your culture? Well, that's one of them hypotheticals that I don't even want to entertain because where would he find it? You know what I mean? Vegas. You're saying, okay, all right. He goes to Las Vegas and some restaurant maybe has a gigantic- World's largest cowboy hat. Okay, all right. You know what? I don't know where the world's largest cowboy head is. As a matter of fact, there's got to be one. I think it's in this episode of Bonanza.

Yeah, on Hoss' head the whole time. He does have a big head. All right. All right. I'll entertain the hypothetical. Godzilla finds and puts on a cowboy hat that is to scale of his enormous lizardy head. What's your question then? Would you accept him as part of your culture? Because not only then would he be in the style, in the dress code of a true cowboy. But you have to admit, Godzilla must be God fearing, or at least instilling the fear of God in others. Well, I'll tell you what I do like about Godzilla. He crushes cities. I do like that about him. That's pretty much all he does. It sounds like you're a huge fan of Godzilla.

I guess so. I like that about him. You never see Godzilla rampaging across the American West. He leaves the Cowboys alone, right? Correct. Yes. It's like he knows better. Yes. Like he knows better. All right. You put a Cowboy head on Godzilla and let me see him crunching up subway cars and destroying big, terribly skyscraping buildings. I might be on board. Does that what happens in cowboy minus one? No, Godzilla minus one. What'd you say it was called? Yes. Yes. In some ways. Yes. There's lots of, there's lots of building crushing, certainly. All right. Fine. Okay. I'll see it. All right. Eddie Firestone played jock Henry. Oh man.

I put this in here just, just for much Taylor, but he ain't here to hear it. Eddie Firestone played Jack Henry. Oh man, I put this in here just, just for much Taylor, but he ain't here to hear. Hey, John, Eddie Firestone appeared in an episode of Knight Rider titled slamming Sammy's stunt show spectacular. Oh, he would love that. Oh, my would have loved that. I know. No. Does that mean there's a Knight Rider episode that's set at a stunt show?

Yes, there is. I reckon me and mud need to watch it. I reckon you should. I reckon so. That is up Mud's alley. Now here we're talking about the woman that played Ellen Henry, who's pregnant. Nothing more on that guy,

the main guy of this episode. Well, all right. And he hasn't appeared before in Bonanza. Oh, no. Do you know if he returns as that character? Yes. Absolutely not. Of course not. Why in the world would you spend that much time with Hoss immediate like stop him, like forgive him of multiple crimes, right? Stealing from his father.

Yeah. Overcharging his father for taxes. I believe he might even for him as his best friend in this episode. Yes. That's right. A character we've never seen before and we'll never see again. That's right. Yes.

What, what about that is strange? All of it. Every, every part from his entrance, from from the way from, from his, yes, all of it. Despite my involvement in this project, I'll, and I have not seen a ton of Bonanza episodes. That's very strange. I know.

You're, I would have thought this would have been a main character. I thought for sure. He's a series. Oh no. And recurring as jock. No, no. As a matter of fact, sometimes it happens where at the end of the episode, the happy ending is that this character is going to remain on the Ponderosa

and become a part of the world of the Cartwrights. And you never say it again. Happens all the time. Who knows what happens to them. Weird. It's strange, but perfectly natural as far as I'm concerned. You want to know more about any firestorms? I mean, do you see? I just, I can't, I can't understand that sort of like slapdash throwaway storytelling in the second of 14 seasons. Uh, a slapdash, that means excellent, correct?

Slapdash means sort of thrown together without, without deep thought. Oh, so are you telling me on Peaky blinding, they got a person there, they bring somebody into an episode and then they hang around? Almost entirely. And if they depart is because they've departed the earth from their mortal coils Okay, I found the man that played jock Eddie Eddie firestone I found him to be sort of reminiscent of a Tim Conway type He's I at one point where I was like is is that him? I did really I did think maybe it was Tim Conway and I thought that doesn't line up can't know but then when You went through some of his credits here, Knight Rider. Knight Rider. Any other things? Galactica 1980, he played the character of

Derelict. So he had a long career. He did actually, hey, hey, he's one of them IMDB pages that just goes and goes and goes. But lots of single episodes of this. Oh, sure. Never he was. Actually, actually, now that you say it, this is unprecedented just about. He appears in two different episodes of Bonanza later on as the same character. Now that never happens. But not this character.

Not this character. Jack Henry, we never see again. But in seasons five and six, a whole season apart, he plays, he's in two episodes as the same character. That's very unusual for Bonanza. Very unusual. So we don't get to see if jocks horse grows up to be a great race horse or if he ever pays off his debts or if his newborn baby ends up being the mayor or

something, we never see any of that. I think we're left to assume that that whole household was wiped out by the fever, including the animals. Fair enough. Like shortly after the events of this episode. I think that's what happens. Yeah. So, all right.

Hey, Kathy Brown. She's from, this is the second guest star on Bonanza who is from a town called humans. Will Missouri. What the hell is humans? Will sort of a first thought title. I guess so. Or, or is it sort of the lady Doth protest too much hiding something? Yes. Everybody's a human here. Later the setting for V. Exactly. Something like that. We're not listening to people because her performance is quite Android, almost Stepford-y. Yeah. She does not want to be on the show, it seems. Oh, I disagree, but there are certain moments where she really takes the spotlight, jocks

about to go into town and he's like, all right, honey, you have yourself a good day. And she pulls him into an embrace and she faces directly to camera and she says, Oh, I will. In the most dramatic line reading that I think as the writer was putting it down, it was probably like, Oh, I will. Yeah. She gave me, Oh, I will. Yeah. Oh, she's, she soaked it in, but I did love par cart, right? Explaining sort of the, um, what is it? Like the, the gas lighting thing where you fall in love with your captor. Um, Stockholm, Stockholm syndrome. He sort of does a throw away Stockholm syndrome prescription of jock where he goes, it's the sad, the sad kind of people they're lowly and they get people to feel bad for them. And then they end up wanting to dedicate their whole lives to making them feel good

because there was some inequity in that couple. Oh, yeah I think so. Jacque is a layabout. He's a no good Nick over there. Yes. Yeah, yeah. Where did he get the suit as the tax collector? Oh, they explained. I believe the tax collector said, come on in. I'll give you, I forget what he called it, a cape. He said, I'll give you a tax collector's cape. I believe is what he said. Now you don't see him in a cape. No, no, no, no, no, no. Brochures, and I'll get a book.

I think he promised him a cape, but what we don't see is that Jock traded it in for a nice suit. Dalton, how do you feel about Stockholm syndrome? Well, okay. Considering Stockholm is in Sweden. Yeah, exactly. I think it's, that's in Europe, I assume.

It is. Yeah, I think any syndrome over there is fine, but don't dare bring it over here is what I assume. It is. Yeah. I think any syndrome over there is fine, but don't dare bring it over here is what I say. Don't bring your goddamn- Fair enough. Swedish syndromes to the American shores. Are there American syndromes that you're comfortable with? American syndromes, well, no, I can't think of a single,

I was about to say the China syndrome, but that I believe is from China. I can't think of an American syndrome. No, we are. We are. We don't we don't cotton to them. We don't cut into syndromes. All right. This lady. OK, Humansville, Missouri.

Why would you name your town Humansville if it really had humans in it? You'd only do that if it didn't. OK, so we get that bears looking into. Now, here's the interesting thing. She was brought. Okay. Here's what happened. Oh, Purnell Roberts, as you might guess from this episode, who plays Adam Cartwright,

did not like being on the show. Bonanza. He was an idiot from the jump pretty much from the jump. He says he was promised it would be a more sophisticated show and it didn't. Well, I don't know what, I can't even imagine what that would be. So he was kind of a part idiot. And he, so he says in like season three or four, he says, get me off the show. So they brought in this same actress. This is season two.

Yeah, this is season two. They brought in this same actress. Oh, so you're saying why is he not here now? Correct. Well, I guess he had a schedule conflict. Traffic. Couldn't get over Beverly Glenn. And why is he not here now? Correct. Well, I guess he had a schedule conflict. Oh. Traffic. Too big. Couldn't get over Beverly Glenn.

Well, maybe it was. Yeah, he was up in Malibu and the road was out. You never know. Oh, Kathy Brown. They brought in Kathy Brown and they said, you've been on our show before as a pregnant lady married to an idiot. Now you're going to be of love interest for Adam Cartwright in multiple episodes and we're going to introduce you as that, as simultaneous

we're introducing a cousin of the Cartwrights to take Adam's place. They simultaneously introduce these two new characters but then Pernell Roberts said you know what I'll hang around for one more season. And so they took Kathy Brown and the new other actor and they got married and rode off into the sunset. Okay. That's a real trivia. Fascinating, isn't it? That's amazing. Yeah. Okay. I thought- All that to say, yeah. I thought it was building towards she was going to become a regular, but she was always the exit strategy. Yeah.

She was the exit strategy. Yes. She wasn't going to hang around at all. Now she married a fellow by the name of Darren McGavin. You know who that is? Yeah. I think it's Happy Gilmore's nemesis. Oh, you, that's right.

That's not even the primary thing he is. You're good. You pulled that out. Because the main thing he is, is the father on that movie, the Christmas story. You put your eye out. Oh yes. You're thinking of something else. I'm thinking of shooter McGavin. Oh, you are you're talking about Darren McGavin. I guess so. But I thought I saw that in his credits too. No, no, no, no. Shooter McGavin is played by Christopher McDonald. Yes. Oh, and happy Gilmore. Oh, it's the same guy. No, it's not. It is the same guy. No, it's not. Yeah. No, I know who you're thinking.

You're very wrong. What? McDonald? Christopher McDonald. That's Darren McEvans. No. I think it is. They're different people. Quite different. No, I don't. And you're saying that Stacey, the actress, married the father from a Christmas story in real life. I'm not even saying her name is Stacey. It's Cathy. But her character from this episode we're to be discussing is Ellen.

But what did she do in real life? Who is Stacey? I don't believe there's a Stacey anywhere in our purview. Is that from Peaky Blinders? Maybe this is Stacey in Peaky Blinders. What's the name of the horse? Sally. Sally. That's why I went off. Okay. No. Yeah. Ellen. Catherine Brown. Catherine Brown, the actress, married Darren McGovern,

who was in A Christmas Story with the young kid who ends up being friends with Vince Vaughn, who I'm sure was in a movie with Kevin Bacon. Oh, Vince Vaughn has to have been. In a movie with Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Hey, I just saw Vince Vaughn has to have been. In a movie with Kevin Bacon. Yeah. Hey, I just saw Vince Vaughn. I know. Okay. Vince Vaughn break up with a kid from A Christmas Story. Vince Vaughn, Rudy with Sean Astin. Sean Astin was in a film with Kevin Bacon where Kevin Bacon's like an outward bound coach and takes a group of boys out there, but he's a bit abusive and he falls off a cliff and hurts his legs and the boys decide to leave him there. What?

Yeah. And they leave and they're like, no, no, no, no, we can't leave him to die. And they go back for him. Yeah. But what happens then? What happens? Well, then they go back and Sean is a changed man. sort of a protected sort of city slicker into a rough and tumble, self-reliant man of the wilderness.

With broken legs at the bottom of a canyon. Kevin Bacon breaks his legs. Oh, that's different? Yeah. Oh, I've lost the plot. All right. But everything turns out okay for Kevin Bacon, does it? I think he gets his comeuppance.

Oh. And it's sort of, there's a mutual respect, but it's like, don't mess with me, mate, don't mess with me again. You ever see the movie Tom bone a hawk? Yeah. What's it called? Tom bone a hawk. Now Russell.

Yeah. Bone Tomahawk. That's a good Western Vince Vaughn was in a movie made by the same fella is called brawl and sell by block 99. You ever see that? I've not seen that, no. Well, you could check that out, but it doesn't really feature a brawl in Cell Block 99.

Is it shot with coverage? I believe it is. It's just one continuous fight scene. It ain't a Western. We have the director of this episode to thank for that then. Yeah, it ain't a Western, it's a prison movie, but I watched it because Tom Bonahawk wrote it

and directed it, and it's watched it because Tom Bonahawk wrote it and directed it. And it's, it's pretty good. Tom Bonahawk. Yeah. My memory is bone Tom Hawk. Uh, very violent movie. Here's the thing about that movie. Nobody should ever watch it because something happens in it that will change your life forever. You just, you're not the same man after you've seen that movie. You're a different man. Have you seen it? I've never, I started it and I think I fell asleep early on and went probably best to save this for another day and I never went back. Oh, good for you. It's real good. It's real good for a while. And then something happens that just will change a man. So don't watch it.

Okay. I won't. All right. Good. Well you could watch the first half of it, but then fall asleep quick. Yeah. Well, I want to tell you about Florence McMichael. Do I really? No. Is she the leader of the biddies? Is she the biddy? She's the lady with the chicks. She's got the chicks. Oh, sure. She's the wife of the tax collector.

That's correct. Yes, that's... She's the one swinging around the garden hoe. And's quite close to the act of jock on multiple occasions. Yeah. Yeah. No, in the show notes of this episode, they went through three jocks of the course of the episode. They lost it because she didn't know accidents. She brained them twice. Oh no. Oh yeah. What am I going to say about her? Oh, who cares? She was on Mr. Ed for 40 episodes. Good for her. All right. Oh, the lyncher, Mrs. Ellery with the rope, with the rope dress. That was Marty Prickett. And, uh, it says that she's known for portraying nosy neighbors, prissy teachers. That's not an adjective. What? Cause it's Marty Prickett sounds like

something that Haas might call someone. Quit being a Marty Prickett and get in the house. That's her actual given name. But you know, leave her alone. She ain't nothing but a tired old Marty Prickett. Exactly. But you know, Jonathan Winters created a character named Maud Fricart, who he named in tribute to Maudie Prickett. Isn't that interesting? How did they know each other? I think he just saw her on TV and liked her name and she probably spent the rest of her life going, that son of a bitch. Took my name without my permission.

Pumpkin headed motherfucker. Yeah. Asshole. Goddamn lunatic asylum. He's a nut, but she went on to marry the mayor of Pasadena. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine being the first lady of Pasadena? What do you think that would entail? I think you probably got pretty good seats for the Rose Bowl parade. Right. Sure. And what else?

That's probably about it. A free access to the Huntington Gardens? Oh, I'll bet you. The Norton Simon Museum access would be unparalleled? I'll bet you not only that, but she probably was entitled to throw wine and cheese receptions at the Norton Simon Museum. There's a fundraiser for the Historical Preservation Society.

Oh yeah, you get them all together in a room, man, that's goodbye to the weekend. Those people are crazy. Marty Prickett had a character named after her by Jonathan Winters. Don't bring that up to her, she's still sore about it. She'll destroy one of the Monet's. I believe they do have Moneterina's there. All right. You've been to the Norton Simon Museum. Hell no. I don't need art. The only museum I need is a Gene Autry Museum of Western Heritage.

One more person here, Henry Corden played the bookie. Oh, you're going to like this. He was, here's the deal. There's a fellow by the name of Alan Reed, who did the voice of Fred Flinstone on Fred Flinstone cartoon. But Alan Reed could not sing a note. He could, he just could not sing for nothing. And so whenever Fred Flinstone had to sing, which I don't recall him ever doing, but whenever he did, they brought in this fella, Henry Corden to be the singing voice of Fred Flinstone.

Is that right? Yep. That's something. Now Alan Reed perished in the middle of the run of the Fred Flintstone. Is that right? Yep. That's something. Now, Alan Reed perished in the middle of the run of the Fred Flintstone show. And they said, well, Henry, you sing like him. Can you talk like him? Now, I didn't as a person who's seen Fred Flintstone, I never noticed that the voice

changed midway through, but it did. And you would think from that point forward, Fred Flintstone would do a lot more singing, but I don't recall him ever the one time singing a song. But this gentleman did take over. He did. Wait, so he must have come in once. Huh? Yeah. At least once.

Absolutely. There's gotta be one instance of Fred Flintstone singing while the original actor was playing. Has to be. Feels like this gentleman got a lot more screen time with the Great Kazoo. Oh, you think you sing to the Great Kazoo. Well, and also that was sort of a later in the series character. You know who did the voice of the Great Kazoo? Jonathan Winters.

Nearly. Close enough. Who was it? It was Harvey Corwin did the voice of the... Oh, sure. And also this fella, Henry Corden played Ukla the Mock. I would have guessed Paul Lind. Yeah. Ukla the Mock. You don't know Ukla the Mock? No. He was a little fella in Thunder of the Barbarian. No, I don't mean little. He was huge. No, he's like the Chewbacca.

Yeah, he's the Chewbacca of Thunder of the Barbarian. Yeah, with the yellow eyes. Yeah, he's the Chewbacca of Thunder of the Barbarian. Yes, with the yellow eyes. Yeah, and he just goes, this guy showed up. He would drive from, probably he lived up in Laurel Canyon. So it would take him. Why probably? Because he's making money. It's the 60s. He's spending that Flintstone money. He's got late Flint sixties. He's spending that Flintstone. He's got late Flintstones cash. She's late Flintstones liquid. And he's spending Hannah's and Barbera's.

That's it. And he's heavy into smoking pot and going over to Frank Zappa's house. His whole Laurel Canyon lifestyle. I just, you know, this is the bookie in the episode, right? Doesn't he look like he's got like a dark blue suit? Yeah. He's a couple of years away from a freak out. And so he's out there living in Laurel Canyon. He drives 20 minutes into Burbank at one of these recording studios. And they say, all right, just give us some more ookla.

And he goes, hang me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me Just give us some more ookla. They don't bother. Thanks for coming in. Just give us some more ookla. Just a little bit. We don't need oodles of ookla. We just need- Not like, oh, in this scene, ookla's pissed because he forgot his keys. Can I get a little of that?

No, they don't bother. Just a little ookla. They say, okay, oocla is in this episode. Give us some more, whatever it is he does. And then they go out and have a smoke up. I mean about six minutes at oocla. Mate, I'm driving all the way from Laurel Canyon to do the same thing.

Don't you have any sort of library? They don't. In those days, they wouldn't have had a library. He's like, you don't understand. Charles Manson brought over some of his girls and I had to leave the pool party. I've got some real FOMO right now. Can we get this in the can? That was the lifestyle for Henry Corden. I guarantee you.

Oh no, Don. You all right, mate? Y'all better never. How far are we into this? We should start talking about the episode. I mean, we're at 54 minutes. Oh no, we've never gone that long before getting into the episode. I blame Mutt Taylor. Oh, he's Mutt.

Keeping us on track. Oh, son of a bitch. I didn't know that was part of it. I apologize. No, it isn't. I don't know what happened. All right. Side track city USA. Yeah, that's where we're living now. All right, we're going to get home. The world's largest cowboy hat right next to humansville. Welcome. Would you like to ingest food? Hello, fellow human. Come to our human food. Welcome to our recharge stop.

Seeing you fills me with warmth. Rest stop. Recharge stop. Oops. That's exactly what that's what human bill was. It was a bunch of Oogles in disguise. That's what it was.

If they took off their human disguises, there's a bunch of mocks. They're not all named Oogla, of course. More like Machville. More like Machville. And you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean you mean to Oocla of course. More like Machville. More like Machville. Thundar the Barbarian! I watched a little Thundar the Barbarian. Boy oh boy. The animation on that is just, you feel like you're there.

Yeah. It's a lot of rotoscoping I believe. Oh maybe. But they had, what I saw was a couple characters riding a horse as a matter of fact. Some horse like creature. And they just, the figure goes bops back and forth, but you just see a man's thumb occasionally moving the cell is like that. I see. I see. It's overwhelming. Has bracelets that turn into a big sword.

Is that right? He's got a light sword. Does he have a heavy sword as well? I don't know. It looks like it's heavy. It's made of light, but it's heavy. Oh boy. Hey, I said us for do not disturb an hour ago and it's off now. That'll give you an idea. All right. FanDuel Casino Daily Jackpots, guaranteed to hit by 11 PM with your chance at the number one feeling. All right. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca. Select games only. Guarantee void of platform or game managers occur. Guarantee requires played by at least one customer until jackpot is awarded or 11 p.m.

Eastern. Research and supply. See full terms at canada.casino.fandoo.com. Please play responsibly. With the Fizz loyalty program you get rewarded just for having a mobile plan. You know for texting and stuff and if you're not getting rewards like extra data and dollars off with your mobile plan you're not with Fizz. Switch today. Conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. This episode begins. You know we're in for a funny episode right off the top. A man is riding to the tune of the old gray mare, she ain't what she used to be. Turns out that's Hoss. He rides up to a dilapidated ranch where two cowboys is fighting. I don't know. I write detailed synopsis of this. It's hard to get through them fast, but we got to get through fast. All right. Here's what I'll, I'm going to try to do it

from memory. I'll leave the notes aside. Hoss jumps off. He sees a bigger gentleman roughing up a younger, a more normal gentleman. Leave him alone. That's my best friend. That's my best friend Jock. He comes through bigger gentleman roughing up a younger, a smaller gentleman. Leave him alone. That's my best friend. That's my best friend, Jock. He comes through the fence. Who we've never seen before. Right.

Great justification. But it turns out Jock has been stealing lumber from the Ponderosa and Baxter is a hired hand on the Ponderosa who takes his job so serious that he's beaten the hell out of Jock. He's a bit of a foreman. Yeah, he's like a foreman for Ponderosa. But Hoss says, no, no, no, no, it's okay. He can have this stolen lumber. He needs it worse than we do. Yeah. He's like a foreman for Ponderosa. But Haas says, no, no, no, no, it's okay. He can have this stolen lumber. He needs it worse than we do.

By the way, stolen number, do they brand it? Do they brand their lumber? Well, Haas is very worried that if his father gets a good look at the lumber, he's going to clock that that's our signature pine. I'd recognize that knot anywhere. Right. Ben Cartwright's connection to the land is such that he could recognize a Ponder signature pine. That's just Ben Cartwright's. I'd recognize that knot anywhere. Right. Ben Cartwright's connection to the land is such that he could recognize a ponderosa pine. From the scent maybe, he could smell it. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, good point.

So now he beats the shit out of Baxter, his own hired hand, does Hoss. And he says. Already a poor business model for running a ranch. It ain't great, it ain't great, but he says, cause Hoss likes the idea of Jock fixing up this old dilapidated ranch house he's living in. And so he says, you keep it. You keep the lumber. Okay. And then, uh, what's his name? Oh, oh, by the way, I know, I know where

you're going. The outline. It was very strange. So Jock, Jock somehow connives Hoss into doing all the digging for the posts for the corral that he's building. Then Hoss, more than happy to do it, takes off his vest, takes off his hat and starts digging. Well, it's pretty clear that actor's never handled a shovel in his life. But I think that is the character and his defense. I think he's intentionally supposed to show that he's mad at it.

I don't know how to do this. Will you do it for me? I think that's as scripted. I think that's as scripted to trick Hoss into doing all the work for me. There's a little bit of that. I think that's as scripted to trick Haas in doing all the work for him. But let's also consider that this is on a soundstage and it's just a pile of dirt on the floor of a soundstage. I thought about that as well.

And you can't go too deep. I thought about that exactly. Where does it stop? Do they load in two feet of packed soil on the whole soundstage? Or is there a little pocket? I'd love to know how they pulled it off. There was way ahead on my name. Is anyone listed as soil pocket foreman in the credits?

Not that I noticed. But carpenter in charge of soil pocket. This might've been the specialized digging sound stage for any time you had a dig on a sound stage. They went, they say, we got the digging sound stage at Paramount. But anyway, the scene ends on Jock wearing Hoss's hat and saying to Hoss, boy Hoss, you sure do dig pretty. Is a way of like trying to connive him into keeping, he's flirting. He's openly flirting with him. But is it my memory in the scene before or immediately after? He's also talking about his own horse as if it's some sort of sexual prize to be what.

I thought the story was gonna be Jock is a deviant because he says, I could loan her out to friends or like a traveling friend, a piece of her. Right? There's a line where he goes, I could maybe give out a little piece of her to those who need some. Oh, if he said that while you still think he's talking about a woman, that's a very crazy line.

Then I thought he was a deviant. I honestly, like in earnest thought the jock storyline was like, this guy's a troublemaker and a deviant. I think you're watching too much Peaky blinders. Yeah, I think so. Good good deviant scenes in Peaky Blinders. He's a layabout with a heart of gold is what he is. He ain't no deviant. I don't know that he has a heart of gold. He learns no lesson. Really?

He starts right back where he was at the beginning. Yeah, but Hoss sees the good in him, so surely we can. The brains of the operation over there. Yeah. Hoss. Hoss gave birth to two new creatures. Well, he didn't give birth, did he? Well, he helped bird them. And I did have the thought that, well, I'm jumping ahead. I'm sorry. No, it's fine. We might need

to do some jumping ahead. I just wanted to point out that the gate's broken and there's no need to open it. You can walk around, you can walk around the fence and it happens another time when he's at the chicken coop lady, she opens a door that needs no opening. That's true. It's about the same distance to just take a step and go around. I noticed that too.

Hoss is going out of his way to use a broken gate that you don't need, because you could just take a step around it. But that's all simple-minded Hoss. But then later when it happens, when a lady does it at her own house, I thought, maybe this is something, something about the old West at that time. It bears looking into that.

If there was a fence, a gate opening, you used it regardless to whether you needed to or not. Seems like it based on this episode. All right. Now, yes, you're talking about, there's a very, very funny misdirect where old Jock is saying, this girl, she's pregnant, her baby's coming and so on and so forth. And you're sure he's talking about his wife. And then up comes his horse wearing a bright white bonnet on her head to protect your eyes from the sun.

And- Well, it slipped up at this point because there's a very tender moment between the two females of jock settlement. Right. Well now, so now we understand he was talking about a pregnant wife, but he's actually got a pregnant horse. And then he turns out to also have a pregnant wife. It's like this episode is throwing curve balls at you, lifting right, you don't know. That's a hat on a hat. It's, yeah, man, this is sophisticated.

Oh, you like this. You like this. Oh, it's sophisticated, uh, jacking apes going on around. How did Pernell Roberts say this ain't sophisticated enough? You got me believing I'm going to see a pregnant woman and then you show me a pregnant horse and then you show me a pregnant woman. What's going on? But you don't show me the, the, the whole field of cattle that he has at his expense. And I also was like, Oh, his name is Jock and he's selling cattle and the wife is selling him. It's very Jack and the beanstalk. Oh, but he's building a fence that he doesn't have to hold cattle that he can take into town to sell. I think the fence was to keep the, the young pony, the colt.

Yeah. But that's not fixed either as we've already established and the cattle are just grazing out in the field. This jock is behind. Yeah. He's just, he's not prepared for the kid. The new, the new, any, he's not prepared for anything. No. Also Dalton, I thought you might object to his name being jock because I did think it was sort of the French version. Yeah. But it's J O C K. That's how it's spelled. J O C K. Like a jockey. Yeah. Or a jock strap. I don't got no problem with that. Brings to mind. Genitals brings to mind underpants. She, all right. Oh God. It's too much. He takes the cattle into town and she says, if there's anything extra, can you get me a bonnet for myself? Cause you already got the horse one before me,

but he's bringing the cattle into town to use them to pay the taxes. It is complicated. He's supposed to bring six head of cattle into town and sell them and the money he gets from that he's supposed to give straight to the tax man. But if there's any leftover, he's going to buy us a bonnet for his wife. Now instead, what he does is he goes into town and he, he cashes in those six cattle or not, I don't know, but anyway, he puts all the cattle money on a horse race, which is the cart rides Raven versus Mr.

Ellery's Gatlin. And this is a, apparently this horse race is going on in Virginia city all the time. We just never seen one before. I've never seen one again. Probably, probably. And sure enough, Gatlin wins, Raven loses and poor old jock has to hand over all that tax money to Fred Flintstone, to Fred Flintstone.

Exactly. Who's high as a kite in this scene. You can tell. Five tabs of acid on board. So now that Fred Flintstone does give him back two dollars so he can buy the bond. And did you find that in the take, like he almost fumbles the coin? I thought he did fumble it. He defumbled it. I thought he dropped it. You could tell that the director loved that take, but that the Fred Flintstone guy, he tried to yes and it, but he does a weird hand five thing. Oh yeah. Which was like not really in the scene.

I thought he was handing him a bill too. I was confused. It was, it was what I saw was, was one actor trying to catch a cone fumbling it and catching it. And the other actor almost breaking the scene and not knowing what to do with his right hand. So he just taps it gently on, on jocks wrist. It's weird walks away. Well, Henry Corden had no idea where he was or what was happening. He's just like, let me aim for the, for the pink blob in the middle. He's so whacked out of his mind on experimental substances. He's like, I'm doing things that haven't even got a name yet, man. But anyways, yeah, I was confused by that

too. But as it turns out, he gets his money, a little jock doesn't, he buys a beautiful bonnet for his pregnant wife, Ellen, but his old big problem now is he ain't paid his taxes and he buys a beautiful bonnet for his pregnant wife, Ellen. But his old big problem now is he ain't paid his taxes and he ain't got the money to. Well, so now, uh, uh, Haas understands that. And so Haas says, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna help you get a job. And boy, if this ain't the funniest little montage sequence of trying to get a job, Lord almighty, who knows?

It's hard to picture what happens. He's like, it starts off. I'm going to get you a job at the bucket of blood saloons. And he gets what a name too. Yeah, that's still there. You can still go to the bucket of blood saloons to this day. They toss out jock. They taught not that's how bad the job interview goes. He gets thrown out. Is it that or I couldn't tell if his reputation was preceding him. Oh, maybe they didn't even get to the interview. He stepped foot in. No, no, no. You've been here before.

Out. Because he keeps shaking his head no. Oh, I see. I couldn't, I couldn't tell. It wasn't clear, but it builds to a moment where Hoss is so in defense of this abhorrent best friend that he's willing to allow him to give him a shave in front of the barber. Right. But clearly the application of shaving cream has already gone so poorly.

Yeah. Because there's some cream on the forehead of Hoss. True. Also, Bear's mentioning that earlier when Hoss is sort of painting some of the barn and the fence in that early, early scene, he's got paint all over his face. Oh, he's a terrible painter. Oh, Hoss does.

And so this shaving cream, he's got shaving cream on his forehead. But then cleans it off very. Oh, Hoff does. Yes. And so this shaving cream, he's got shaving cream on his forehead. Very quickly. He sure does. He goes, let's get you, let's get you a job, let's go. And he's spick and span. In the next scene.

Bucket of blood, the hardware store, yes. Yeah, general store. Well, Hoss gets kicked out of there. Yes. Oh, uh-huh, for even advocating for Jock. That's what made me think, oh, that's what it is. It's the reputation.

They just hear the name Jock and they say, no go. I'm not hiring that lazy son of a bitch. And there's a long, long- Jock blockers. Yeah, that's what they are. They're jock blockers, these sons of bitches. But it's a long, long sequence in the shaving parlor to get to the inevitable conclusion

that Hoss gets cut on the face by the razor. Does he cut the strop? Jock, he's sharpening that razor. Oh, is that what he did? Yeah, he slices the leather strap. Oh, he slices the leather straw, but it's not clear. Okay. But yes, but that felt like the actor did it, not the character. The actor accidentally, it felt like me. They didn't have two props. So they're like, it has to happen off screen because we've got the,

the intact one and we've got the broken piece. So it's got to happen off screen. So they're paying off of it and then they're paying back to it and the viewers have to go, I think that happened. Also, you don't see the blade go into Hoss's face. It's behind the way they shoot it. You can't tell that he actually got it. I do wonder. William Whitney invented that. He invented that business of having somebody get cut off

the camera. That you can't see. No coverage. He does twice the amount of coverage for fights and for very simple story points involving maybe more complicated props, all off camera. Prior to that, they would have, prior to William Whitney coming along, they would have just had to slice open the face of the actor right on camera. Has it come up before that like they clearly had to keep in mind the running time of an episode in editing? Oh, this definitely felt like where one where the producers were like, stretch it out, stretch it out. We're down a cart. Right. Exactly. Adam's

not showing up throwing, throwing a longer shaving. We thought we could rely on Hop saying to eat up some of the time, but we cut. It turns out you can only take so much of him. He's talking too fast. Yeah. Uh, well, uh, yeah, no, it always feels that way. It feels it. It feels okay.

They initiate the plot and it's great guns. And then, uh, right around three quarters of the way through the episode, things happened that you can't remember the next day, you know what I mean? Because it's just taking time. But all right, come down to it. The tax man himself gives Jock Henry a job. Finds him. Jock thinks that he's coming for his money, but he's coming to offer him a job. Exactly.

It's another switcheroo, which you're a fan of. Totally. I mean, this episode kept me guessing. I'll tell you what, but old tax man David Hart, I think, or something like that, says to Jack Henry, I've been looking for you not to collect your money, but to give you a job as my assistant, collector, and assessor. And I need you to put on a suit and or a cape and get out there into town and walk around people's properties and assess the value of their out there into town and walk around people's properties and assess the value of their homes and their land and their livestock and charge them the appropriate tax.

And he takes to it like a duck to water, doesn't he? Well, his big, his controversial technique, I don't know that they said anything else about it, but his thing that he does is he says if, and he's got pregnancy on the mind, he's got a pregnant horse at home and a pregnant wife at home. He says, if you have a peregrinant cow, I'm charging you taxes for two cows. And this gets into very like the rights of the unborn. And-

Oh, it's very, it's very heartbeat is alive. Yes. Taxes start at conception. Taxes started conception. That's what it is. You're right about that. So this is the, I would have been hot button issue at the time. I tell you what, and even today, man, oh man, they're really talking. They're digging into the hot issues, but it has, it happens because of, I think just this one technique, somebody's taxes will go from $700 to $16,000. Isn't that what happened?

1600. It went from 300 to 1600. 300 to 1600. So they've got an enormous amount of pregnant livestock on the Ponderosa. Well, and doesn't Jock imply that Dave's maybe not so good at his job? Yes, he does. Yeah. Dave is cut in corners. Dave's just looking the other way. Yes. He says that to Dave's own wife.

He's I, he, I thought that was going to bear fruit in some way, but it didn't that he goes to his boss's house and increases his boss's taxes by the amount of chicks that is expected to come out of eggs. You'd think the buck would stop there. You think the bar, the boss would say, don't, but no, the boss is principled enough to say, listen, everybody needs to pay more taxes if Jock says so, including me. It's not a problem, but it's a problem for everybody else in town. No, yeah.

That would have been too easy and out. It wouldn't have been on Park Cartwright to formulate the perfect grift of the grifter. That's what this is. It's like the sting. It's like the unbelievable. It's like the unbelievable. You have to connive a connive. You're comparing this episode of Bonanza to the sting. I think it's better than the sting in many ways, but it is as complicated a con job as

to pull on a man. Okay. I still guess I understand what the inevitable plan is, but it takes a lot of foresight from Cartwright to get it right. That's the best part of this scam. Even at the end of the episode, you don't quite understand it. That's what's great about it. It's incredible. That's how sophisticated it is, Pernell Roberts.

I thought that Hoss was going to be like, look, he stole lumber. We can just fire him and we'll tell him that what he's taken from us, he needs to pay back out of his earnings and he'll realize the error of his ways that way. That might've flown in a 40 minute episode. This is 49. So instead, okay, there is an all female lynch mob and the men get involved and people are real mad at this tax man and everybody in town agrees. Jock Henry taken over as tax collector is a disaster for our town.

And we must somehow prevent him from continuing on as tax collector. And Ben's has a beautiful speech about sorry, sad people who you can't, I don't know, but you got it. Sorry, sad people attract people around them that feel sorry for them. Right. And their only reason for living is to make the sad person less sad. I could fix them. And they become sad themselves. And there's no way to get around that. Right. Except for. Caniving. Caniving with a horse race.

Okay, so... And he just happens to... Oh boy. I'm literally going to try to lay out Ben's plan. Oh good. As linearly as possible. I'm gonna take a sip of coffee. You lay it out.

I'm glad. Based off of what we've just said about Jock being a sad person that gets people to feel bad for him and he takes advantage and so there's no way to call them out or change their behavior. You have to, you have to connive them and trick them. That's the only way to make it last. And they also, it's implied that he must just be a gambling addict, even though yes, we know everybody knows that jock. Everybody knows that. But Ben then remembers that there's a mare, a fast, thin, fast horse. A horse that can't, can't be beat in a race, but looks like it can't possibly win a race. It looks like it can't hold a man.

Up north that's going to cost several hundred dollars that would otherwise go to tax money. So Ben can justify this new racing horse for our race to then know that Jock is going to be so tempted to bet on this unwinnable winning race horse that Ben will bet Jock using a very sneaky a very sneaky wording. He like almost like a legal expert wording of two years salary, one year to two years salary against the copyright. Offers up. He says, I'll bet you one year. So you make this much. I'll bet you one year salary. And he says, I'm so confident. Make it to, he sees that after two laps of the three laps that take

place on two blocks, I guess, right. There's, there's interlude betting, which hops sing takes advantage of as well. Is that a term interlude bidding? I don't know. So you just invented it right now. Okay. Because this is live bets. It's okay. It's one of the horse races where bets are continuing scale. Yeah. of, of, we've seen how lap one went. It's going so bad for this dumb horse that Joe's on the odds of him winning have gone up. Yes. Fred Flintstone is recalculating odds. Yeah. He says on the fly progressing.

You want to, you want to bet on Joe's horse 20 to one, right? Right. Right. Yes. It's not an even race anymore. He's so far behind. And let me interject the hilarious little running joke here of Hop sing going to cousins. Number one and two, Hop sings cousins are all numbered and saying to them, I will bet against you. You and I are betting against one another in the family. We're leaving Fred Flintstone out of it. We're keeping the money in the family because Hop sing was reprimanded by Ben for betting at all. Oh, he was? Yeah. He said, you can't do it on the thing. So Hop Singh is doing it on the slide.

Side bets. Oh, I see. Does it with his cousins and keeps it in the family. It's not the bad kind of betting that Ben thinks it is. And it all leads up to a great punchline where Hop Singh wins, takes a ton of money from his two cousins and says, see, we're keeping it in the family. It's real good. All right. Anyway, back to your recap. Well, as this is all going on, Hoss has gone to check on a horse. Would you say this is the B storyline or the A storyline? This is A. I think that this is A because we start with Hoss.

I'll tell you, we do. His involvement and him sort of exposing the Cartwright family to a financial, uh, financial hit and he's got to make it right. This episode, it cuts between two of the most high stakes, high pressure, fast paced things you've ever seen in any episode of television. On the one hand is a horse race that will determine who collects taxes for the Nevada territory. On the other hand is a question of who's going to give birth first, a horse or a lady. I mean, it's too much for anybody to bear. I found that I was palpitating. And yet horse bears both with clumsy ease.

And I do think, I did have this thought watching it, where this is where it gets a bit taboo for a TV show of the 1960s, where a horse bath, there's a horse birth, there's a blanket, bring me hot water. The hot water is boilingly hot. It is. It is steaming. It's almost like a bucket of dry. I was gonna say it's his feet. Put some dry ice in that water, but that, but this also means that horse had to give birth to the human and therefore be present at the vaginal opening and then, and delivery of this birth, which they, it

felt a little taboo. Like I was so into the world of bonanza by this point and the fake backdrop and the silly sets and everything and the clumsy gate that I'm like, this dumb oath is now going to have to put his hands in the, I have to assume ungroomed vaginal area of jocks, like stunningly beautiful, but just vapid as the day's long wife. And then cut the umbilical and remove placenta. Like all the logistics which humans have known about for forever, but in this time of like prime time television on NBC, they just kind of skirt around the issue. Well, as an unmarried man, two Haas never would have seen these parts before. Have any idea what

they are or how they work? It must be very clinical for him. But knowing how Haas paints, you know that's not going to be a clean birth. He should be covered in viscera. Oh, I broke your chair. And by the falling of the chair's arm, we know it's time for another ad break. I've tried every different way to fix that chair, by the way. You might even see there's like- There's glue. You have remnants of glue here. Lots of glue. Have you tried European screws? I ain't, you know, people keep telling me that screws from Europe will fix that chair up. I say, hell no. God damn it.

American screws are nothing. Oh Lord. It is interesting, too. She doesn't talk him through anything. No, there's no, there's no dialogue. You just suddenly hear the mewling cry of a little newborn baby. It was the only time where actual real life stakes were present in this episode. Oh my God. And it pulled me out of it because I started thinking about the logistics of it

when I'm like, he's silly walking back and forth between the barn and the house and the barn and the house because ho ho and the new, oh, ha ha ha, right. He doesn't know to a baby. And the awesome doesn't really seem to cry out in pain too much. No, all she wants is water. The only thing she asks for the whole time is water. Yes. And that he be present. Yes.

Right. Right. Maybe she's taken care of most of the business then. Did you also notice that when the horse was born, there was a glowing light in the window of the barn as though, I believe this is a messiah horse. There was a beautiful light that came from the barn. I missed that. Yeah.

I saw it. Yeah. Yeah. It's real interesting. Well, you set it up beautifully. Okay. So then what happens is that the horse that looked like it couldn't win wins. Yes. And so now Jock has lost two years salary in his tax collecting job. Do you feel like you could measure the speed of a horse now after viewing Jock's method of finger

and thumbing the width of the quarter? How thick is its throat? Yes, its throat. Is its neck throat fast? Is that his fast throat or slow throat? Right. That is how you determine the value of the horses. Yeah, boy. He's dummy, but he loses two years salary. Yep. And he's and he's like, oh no, I don't have the money, right? He's already in the hall or is he collecting tax money gets the 2% right off right off the top. Oh, I don't know. He gets 2% of everything he collects. Yes. Yeah, right. That's his incentive for going out and finding things to tax.

But now here's where the brilliance of Ben Cartwright comes to bear. Like nobody else in the world would ever think of this. He says, I didn't bet you a dollar amount. I bet you two years salary. And I suppose if you wasn't to make any salary over the next two years, you wouldn't have to pay me nothing. Air gold quit your job. Right? I mean, unbelievable hit the brilliance of Ben Cartwright's plan to keep this man unemployed.

Exactly baby to feed and a new horse and no cattle fence and no cattle, no cattle now. Yes. Right. And if you dare to get any kind of a job in the next two years, I'm going to garnish those ways based on this horse. A hundred percent of those 100% of those wages. But you missed probably what is a huge, a favored callback for you. Oh yeah. That when jock shows up, horse tells him I've got your twins here. Yeah. And you think, Oh, Ellen gave birth to twins. But what they mean is one human, one whole yes. Born basically simultaneous the way twins are. Well, and Jack accuses Haas of hiding one of his like stealing one of his kid. Where did, what did you do with the other kid? Oh, very mad. Right. He's more dramatic in that

moment than maybe any other moment in the whole episode. I know he doesn't understand. He's filled with rage. If a man steps in to deliver your children and it turns out to be twins, you do get to keep one of them. That's how that works. But as it turns out, Hoss is making a joke. That's the Vada law. Yeah, that's a law of the West. But it turns out, Hal's just making a joke. He's trying to say, because your horse and your baby was born at the same time, let's consider them twins and dress them alike from now on for the rest of their lives. I guess is what's going to happen. Before the fever takes them.

Yeah, before the fever takes all of them in a couple of hours. But they all, oh, so early in the episode, Ellen says that Jock has taken bets on who's going to be born first, the baby or the horse. And now it was that, the result of that bet that ends up saving the day in the end, doesn't it? Somehow. Jock won that bet. Yes. Oh, beautiful. This is a beautifully written episode. It's very silly. They plant the seed of that bet early on and it comes to fruition later. A long enough time that you've forgotten all about it.

It's just brilliant. It's brilliant. Any other, what else? Any other thing, observations or things to say about it? It was very silly. I wanted to point to two jokes that Ben made and see if you can help me understand them because I didn't. The fellow Ellery owns the Gatlin horse and Raven loses to Gatlin and Ben has to pay up and Ellery has a tradition where he takes off his hat and he says, put the money in the hat and he's getting so much money as a hat. And he says, I guess I'm going to need a bigger hat. And Ben says to him, you'll need a bigger

hat. Okay. But it won't be for our money. I think it's ego. His head is swell. Okay. All right. Good. And then the other time it happens again, the next time. Now I don't know that one. But then Ben has the hat. Okay. Yeah. With Joe, cause he splits them. He says Joe's in on the, on the horn for the new. Oh, we're going to, oh, like you said half the bet or something like that, right? Oh, I forget. Also during the conniving, that hand gesture really is worth bringing up again.

Michael Landon, he makes a pause telling him about how, how to connive and how that's how we're going to trick this sad, sad man. How you gonna do it? Put his hand on his cheek and puts his elbow on the desk. How are we going to do it? Paul? It's a real tender Michael land, a gosling move. Like a baby goose or Ryan go a Ryan gosling move.

Okay. All right. Oh, all right. Now, did you find the second joke? Nah, I gave up. Okay. All right. Oh, all right. Now, did you find the second joke? Nah, I gave up. Okay. Now, how does this compare to an episode of Peaky Blinders? I, I've not seen much Bonanza. Right. And, and I've seen none. This blinding.

This was very much akin to like a Gilligan's Island episode. Oh, in my opinion, like it was so, I thought Bonanza was a lot more about, you know, Cowboys, Indians, Wild West and, and, and Cougars and, and danger life and death situations. I should say. How many deaths were in this episode? Zero deaths and deaths. And Peaky Blinders, there's frequently, there's frequent deaths. Oh, really? Oh yes. Often deaths. There's fighting, there's grizzled. But why I think you'd like Peaky Blinders, and the reason I chose it for this sort of like foundation of this character that didn't really pay off and just ended up being me in a British accent for most of the episode. But it's about

a brotherhood. Okay. Peaky Blinders, there's brothers in Peaky Blinders. Yes. It's about a family dominance of a territory that they have ownership of and sticking together and doing anything, by any means necessary to hold fast to their own morals and their own stasis of power. So what I hear you saying is that Europe has ripped off Bonanza in the way of this Peaky Blinders show that you, and you do the podcast where you expose Peaky Blinders as the rip off of Bonanza that it is. That's what

I hear you say. Yeah. I see it more of sort of a sequel. It's a place to go that once you've finished these 14 seasons, then you can jump on board to Cheeky Minders for Peaky Blinders and continue this great tradition of masculine brotherhood. Right. Okay. Well, I can accept that, because when we are done, when our listeners are done watching all 431 episodes of Bonanza and listening to all 431 episodes

of Bonanza's for Bonanza, they are gonna need something to move on to. That's what I'm here for. And it could very well be Cheeky Minders for Peaky Blinders if they can tolerate the Europe-ness of it. It has some similarities to Bonanza. That's what you're saying? Yeah. Are there any other candidates for the follow-up show? Oh boy. Little House? Maybe Little House. Hey, I found out something about Little House. This is explosive information. And it's right there on Wikipedia hiding in

plain sight. Turns out Michael Landon wrote some episodes of Bonanza toward the end. Okay? Then he moves on to Little House on the Prairie. And then he says, hey, those episodes I wrote for Bonanza, if we change some character names, we can do those episodes again on Little House. And that's what he did. That's just good producing. Exactly. And it sheds some light on these episodes of Bonanza. Some of these might've been used in previous television shows. You know what I mean? Well, it also feels like it with four hun- over 400 episodes, you might see that happen within the show itself. Oh yeah, that's right. Remember that episode from season one?

Here we are in season 13. Oh, you don't? cause there's no way to rewatch any of this stuff. Let's do it again. Word for word. Maybe that will happen. That that's like a fun extra bonus episode that you could do soon. Yeah. Is find out like what those episodes are and watch both of them. Oh, what a great idea. Do a side by side. Bonanza. And then we'll watch the little them. Oh, what a great idea. Do it. Watch the bonanza.

And then we'll watch the little house. Fantastic. I love it. Good idea. You can do that. Peaky blinders too. That's right. Cause probably episode one and then the entire series finale at episode 22 might have similarities. Or maybe, maybe there's an episode of peak. I don't know, but a episode of peak blinders. That's basically the same story as a bonanza story. Oh, who is often hyper. No, you're probably right. They took a bonanza script and made a peaky blinder out of it. Oh, they shouldn't have hired Rob Williams for that movie. All right, folks, I'm Sarah to say that there's only 376 episodes left of Bonanza after this one.

My God, that hurts me every time I say it. It hurts my heart. Mason- You're approaching a number where if you watched one episode a day, you'd be done in a year. Buck- Oh, right. But we do one every three weeks. I think it's been- Mason- So it'll take a bit longer. Buck- Gonna take into the 2040s, I think somebody said. No problem. All right folks, Muck Taylor, I hope all goes well in your home. We sure did miss you, but we're ahead of pretty good time here with Martin McCarnival and old Colin Bannersom's of the peak. You can check out cheeky minders for Peaky Blinders. You get that. Where you get that on audible.

As soon as this podcast is done, that will be done. He hasn't done any episodes yet. Dalton, he's waiting for the finale of this show. Okay. She then do a similar show. It's like you finishing a meal at a table in a very busy restaurant and I'm standing nearby. You're waiting for the table until 2040. You're trying not to stare at us and look at our plates.

Yeah. Sorry. Just whenever they order dessert. No rush. Will Dalton have port? Exactly. Oh, I hate that feeling. All right, folks.

That's why I only go to unpopular restaurants. All right, folks, that's an episode of Bananas for Bananzas. We can't, wait, now I'm gonna say now get and then- What do you need me to do? Yeah, I need you to say bye now after I say now get. That's the much part. All right, do you have anything else you wanna say or plug old Connor Banner's in?

No, it's been a pleasure. It's been delightful to have you here despite your yearness. But here comes my sign off. Now get! Bye now! Beautiful. Bananas for Bonanza is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon.

Theme song by Matt Gordon with The Journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikoff, and Wayne Wright. Bananas for Bananzas mixed and edited by Mark McCon. Executive produced by Andy Daly and Mad Gordon. We'll see you around. Fandu casino daily jackpots guaranteed to hit by 11 p.m. with your chance at the number one feeling winning which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do who wants this last parachute I do daily job a chance to win with every spin on a

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