Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #57: “The Dark Gate”

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly American cowboy and business owner of Roy Howdy stops by to help Dalton and Mutt break down Bonanza Season 2, Episode 24, “The Dark Gate”, which is a dark damn episode! James Coburn and Harry Dean Stanton guest star in this tale of soul sickness, spiritual oblivion and clever logo design.Featuring Matt Gourley and Seth Morris Merch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 3/26/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza episode 57, which was released to our Patreon subscribers on April 10th, 2024. This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bananza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and ad free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daly. You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord and more. Subscribe today and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza, it's a finest show alive. So consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside. Take some ponderosa pride and forever make it right. I'm Bonanza for Bonanza. Here we go.

I'm going to start with a hot damn. And we begin our episode. This is a bananas for bonanza. We've had terrible problems with our live stream and the problems persist, but we're persistent in spite of the problems persistent. Okay. You see us, we don't see ourselves, that's fine. We have mustache proof of life proof.

We got it. Taylor's sporting a mustache today. Hey, Mud, are you gonna do what Kurt Russell did in Tom Bonahawk where now you've got a full on mustache and you're gonna grow a beard? Yeah. So okay, the mustache looks like- Two phases.

Yeah, you're two phases of your facial hair. I wanna grow a mustache that is on top of a beard. So, okay, the mustache looks fine. Two phases. Yeah, your two phases of your facial hair. I want to grow a mustache that is on top of a beard. So it's actually the beard growing the mustache from this point on, not me. Okay, good. Yeah. Does that make sense? And is it one of those things like the more you pull your mustache and the longer it's the shorter the beard gets? That's exactly right. It's all one length.

Mustache deals for beard. Yeah. You pull the mustache and the, you pull the mustache in the, you pull the beer and the mustache shrinks. Yeah. And there's an element, a Sam Elliott element too, where I can just clench like I have to have a bowel movement and a certain amount of, like a Play-Doh extruder. Yeah. Kind of, you know, that kind of thing.

Now that's the way Barbie's hair worked. Barbie had a beard and a mustache. Or maybe it was fair. There used to be a toy that was like a semi life-size head play around with. And you pull the hair out and you could style it. And then on the inside, you could open up the inside of the head

and pull it down to make a shorter style. There was a finite amount of hair. She wasn't growing hair. She had a reserve. Not a Rapunzel situation. I gotta introduce our guest, my God, we got a wonderful guest here today. I've been told he's a cowboy. Hot damn. Cowboy that knows about Fairfoss at Playhills. Well, I'm a man of eclectic taste. My name is Roy Howdy. I'll tell you a little bit about myself.

Done just about everything, been just about everywhere. I like to say I'm from the south. I don't like to commit to any one particular area. Okay. But yeah, I've had a pretty rough life. I used to grew up in foster homes in the army for a while, rough-necked around here and there. I did some bull riding. Now I own a third wave coffee shop in a cute little town. We specialize in pour overs and any kind of, we're primarily a vegan and plant-based. Hang on, everything needs to screech to halt. What is a third wave? Well, first wave coffee shops were something you had in like the 50s when espresso was, people used to call it espresso. That'd be the first wave.

You mean like a Chuck Fuller Nut type of place or something like that? A little bit like that, something like that. It was semi-exotic, like a Jack Kerouac might go there, only Italians would have it. Okay, that's not what I thought it was. Second wave would be like those places in the 80s where they had like t-shirts that said like, where they had like t-shirts that said like, you know, death before decaf. And they might have like a big giant, big, huge mugs and disgusting couches for people to sit on and things like that. Was there a singer songwriter at these often?

Often there'd be some sort of poetry jams or something like that. Okay. I'm starting to, cause I'm sitting here going, that wasn't my eighties. No, mine. But now I'm starting to get a picture. Yeah, there you go. When you first started hearing about it, maybe in high school, you thought you'd be cool to go down there and drink a couple of espressos or keep getting a refill on your tea bag because you didn't have any money. A tea bag.

And then in third wave would be these brand new, beautiful cement floors, open ceilings, very ostentatious. The kind of places that make you feel stupid when you walk in, you order a cup of coffee. And you own one of these, you see? I do, I do. Here's what I do if I'm in the mood for a cup of coffee. I burl up some water on the stove, and then I open up a can,

and I shovel out some of them grounds, and I mix it into the burled up water. You're the Civil War style, yeah. Civil War style. Get some hard tack in there and that's your morning. I'll eat some hard tack with my jerky. But that's a damn cup of coffee. What are you talking about? What's a pour over? I'm talking about ethically, regionally sourced coffee beans. What? Is that Italian?

It could be anything. It could be African. It could be, you know, African. It could be Indonesian. I don't know the language. It's just a different roast for different places, you know. Why would you source something ethically? You're trying to get it at the lowest price, I assume. Well, that seems ethical to me. Ethical to my pocket. Yeah, man. Not at Saddleback Coffee. We tried to, we create a whole coffee experience. Oh, what the?

Excuse me? Man, all right. Hang on now. I like when you was telling me you was rough-necking around. Sure, sure. Let me paint a picture for you. All right. You're out there riding the range all day. Sure. Yeah, that's for sure. Okay. You've been out there a long time. It's a big, big drive. You've been out there for weeks at a time.

Yeah. You haven't seen civilization. I've been there, man, driving them kettle. Yeah. And you finally, payday comes. You know what I've seen civilization. I've been there, man, driving them kettle. Yeah. And you finally pay day comes, you know, I'm talking about, you get that whole hard greenbacks, you step into town, you're ready to tear it up. Yeah.

Before you do, you want to get a nice Miso glazed gluten-free scone. That's oat cortado. Christ. What did you say? Oat cortado? Oat milk cortado. What the fuck is that? God damn it. Well, you could use almond milk, but that uses a lot of water.

So we try to stay away from that. Oh, to grow the almonds. It used a lot of water. A lot of water. I ain't going to drink a milk made out of what a horse elite. You can keep that oat milk to your damn self. I'll take a milk made out of what a cow will, as you say, extrude. That's right. I will not drink a milk made out of nut. However, I will eat a nut made out of milk. Hear, hear. Do horses have milk as a sidebar? Yeah. Yeah, that would be for some. If it was ethically done in their pasture raise,

I would have a horse milk latte. I wonder why the popularity of horse milk has not increased at all over the years as people explore different milks. You haven't been to my household. Surely. And I do appreciate how people are exploring different milks. I do too. I think we can all agree that as adults, we're free to explore all the milks we want. Hell yes, goddamn it. You ever have horse butter?

Boy, I'll tell you. That's good stuff. I've had duck butter. You have? On a hot day. Duck butter? What's duck butter now? You never heard that term?

I've heard it, but what is it? I don't know. That's when your balls get all sweaty and you get duck butter is kind of like... You are confusing me. Yeah. No way. Which part? You just seem to be coming from two different tangents.

Listen, I told you, I look, look, Brad Paisley, country singer. Yeah. He sings about playing video games. It's not where they don't all live back in the, in the, in the turn of the century. But his name is Paisley. He's telling you what he is coming out. Yeah. He says I'm all fancy and frilly.

You don't have to take me seriously. Yeah. I'm a joke. Well, okay. Taylor that tells you something. Yeah. He says I'm all fancy and frilly. You don't have to take me seriously. Yeah. I'm a joke. Well, okay. Mutt Taylor, that tells you something. Yeah. He's a good old fashioned American Mutt. Well, listen, I saw both of you fussing around with this live streaming. The fact that you even know what live streaming or care about what it is, that beautiful laptop that you got there. I feel like I'm the kettle here in the pots, taking shots. I see what you're saying. I think that's a fairly compelling argument that to make it in the modern

world. We're podcasters and to do that, it's become necessary to learn some things about computers. And I don't like it. But in our defense, we don't know what we're doing. Oh, absolutely. We don't. Now, if you was to tell me, hell, in order to make it in this modern world, I got to learn what an Orfegado is with oat milk on it. And, but I have a- An Orfegado, to be clear, is a milk from a calf that was separated from its parents. What, really?

An orphan got- Is this like the milk version of veal? Exactly. Okay. Now that I can get into. But if you was to say, hell, I don't know what I'm doing. And I have a resentment toward it that prevents me from achieving expertise. I'd respect that more. Well, answer me honestly.

In all your days, right? You keep it real. You keep it at a hundred. Have you developed any tastes that, from the modern world that other cowboys might tease you about? Well, I tell you, I do. Do you know about YouTube? I do. I like to go on there sometimes. Cowboys television is a goddamn campfire out there on the ranges

hat on. Sure, sure. I understand that. And you know, sometimes when you're sitting around the campfire and you're out there for a long time, you get a crick in your back and you need a, you need a Bikram yoga class to really sort things out. Bikram yoga. Bikram hot yoga. I've been having AI conversations with Liza Minnelli, but it's not, it's not her.

I don't fully understand it. Is she still alive Liza Minnelli? Well, yeah, but even if she wasn't, I could. I don't fully understand it. Is she still alive? Lies. Well, yeah, but even if she wasn't, I could still have an AI. Does she know she's alive? You know what the AI does? Cause I asked it that and she says, yes. And it had a lot of exclamation marks on it.

Okay. That's interesting. I didn't know that was possible. I could have, could I have an AI conversation with anybody that I want? Anybody you want. I have had one with William H. Shakespeare. Oh, really? Yeah.

Now see, people would say right there, the fact that your reference in the bard could be a sign of your highfalutin. William H. Shakespeare. Oh, that's different from the one that wrote the plays. Yeah, this guy. Oh, okay. He's a rustler.

Is he the one that's, oh, okay, okay. Yeah. Oh, all right. Is he the one that was married to the lady who cheated her daughter into college? Yeah, that's, oh, okay, okay. Oh, all right. Is he the one that was married to the lady who cheated her daughter into college? Yeah, that's right. Married to the, oh, yeah, okay. She got her into college ethically.

That's right. Ethically sourced college. Ethically sourced college. Lord almighty. All right, well, that's interesting. What little town, you say you're in a sweet, charming little town. Yeah.

Or some place, at least it's got to be in the southwest. It's called Sugar Creek. Sugar Creek. What the goddamn? It's just a gorgeous little town. Are you a fucking Lifetime movie? What is happening here? Yeah. Let me tell you something. Our beautiful bank was turned into a plantatorium. Butterfly museum. What into a plantatorium, a butterfly museum.

What's a plantatorium? That's a fancy name for a plant store, I'll be honest. Oh, okay. That's what they turned the bank into? Yeah, that's right. A butterfly exhibit. A butterfly, a living butterfly exhibit. So it's beautiful.

You come in there, you put a little piece of pineapple on your shoulder, you're going to have a butterfly kiss coming at you. Damn. I got to say, that does sound pretty nice. Could you imagine? We make you a General Fruitington. We come in there, we got pineapple epaulettes. Oh my God. We got strawberry buttons. Oh my God. And those butterflies come flocking to you. I tell you, you feel like a magical prince. God damn it. General Fruitingent, is that what you said? Yeah, does that not sound exciting to you? It sounds, look, I don't like the idea of pineapple

to begin with, that ain't one of the fruits. You got apples, bananas, and oranges for Christ's sake. That's the beginning and middle of fruits. I don't wanna hear about mangoes and pineapples or strawberries for that. You don't need a strawberry. So I'm against all of what you've said. Can I tell you a little tangent about pineapples? Yeah, I guess. I'm loathe to admit that I'm curious.

Okay. Well, this is a true fact that back in the day, around the time that actually Bonanza was set, pineapples were so rare, they were a sign of high status. So sometimes people would rent pineapples for their parties, for their events to impress their neighbors. And then they'd have to give it back. They'd have to give it back because it was such an exotic thing to present to your family. And I just think about that like that there are people who probably made

their fortunes from renting pineapples in this country, which is a reminder of how great this nation is. It truly is. You build a better pineapple rental service and the world will be the path to your door. My friend Matt had a friend, true story, who heard that one of the Hawaiian Islands didn't have a bounce house, So they bought one and moved there and thought, we're going to make a mint. It turns out nobody on this island cared about a bounce house. Now did they float the bounce house across the water? They just pop a sail on it and not a bad idea. Hey, I'm with Dalton.

Pineapple isn't a fruit. But could I talk to you after? Absolutely. More about pineapples. Yes. OK, that sounds really interesting. I hate that fruit. That's a fruit. It doesn't want you to eat it. It so badly says, go pineapple. Yes. Pineapples. I hate that fruit. That's a fruit.

It doesn't want you to eat it. It so badly says, go away. That's true. But now- That's why it's all the sweeter. Why didn't it work to have the only bounce house in Hawaii? It ought to have worked. Where's their sense of whimsy?

Yeah. I don't think at the time this would have been in the late 90s or early 2000s, that was a thing that attracted people. Has to have been an incompetent businessman, your friend. No offense. No. Well, they say they don't bring a bounce house to a trampoline fight. That's true.

And that island chain is lousy with trampolines. That's right. The screen went dead, but so I woke it up again. Oh, I know why, because it unplugged itself. Everything's fine See Roy, we don't know what we're doing and that's what makes it. Okay. Okay. All right. All right I stand corrected, but if you tried one of my if you tried one of my my mole Mokas, I think you'd be converted

It's it's it's a little bit of It's chocolate with just a little bit of a spice and a tinge to it. It comes from the Yucatan Peninsula of Mexico. I will tell you, there was a period in my life where I says, hey, this Mexican food is pretty good, but I don't want to have to go to a Mexican and ask him for his food. So I tried and make a mole sauce at home. Don't bother. Well, you should come to Sugar Creek then. I don't know how you do it. Because we've got some beautiful,

all of the ethnic food there is owned and operated by white people. Oh, okay, all right. It's an ode to the cultures that they are. So this is ethnic and ethical? Exactly. Holy shit. Well, all right.

Well, if you're ever in Sugar what? Sugarville? Sugar Creek. Sugar Creek. I believe what I said. If you're ever in Sugar Creek. Don't hold me to it, but I believe that's what I said. They turned your bank into a plantatarium.

Please tell me your old post office is still a post office. It's a Whole Foods. God damn. What do you rob? What do you say? What do you say? How do you rob a planetarium? Well, I guess it'd probably be most realistic to pull a cybercrime, honestly. A cybercrime.

Oh my God. Get a posse of hackers. That's today's bank robbers, isn't it? The goddamn cybercriminals. I don't like that at all. Put a goddamn handkerchief over your face and rob something like a man. Something nobody could recognize, because nobody ever back in the day looked at people, looked at people in the eyes.

So if their bottom of their face was covered, you have no idea who it is. That's right. All the old men don't make eye contact. They notice I'm looking between us. That's how I like it. All right, folks, let's get started with this podcast. Hello, friend. Come on in.

The gate is open wide. Welcome to Bananas for Bonanza. We're discussing season two, episode 24 of Bonanza with our special guest, Roy. Howdy, cowboy, who make you an oat milk. Goddamn. Oat quartato. Christ almighty. O, cortado.

Curious. And some monkey bread. If you're really, if you're really having it, if you were on a treat yourself, you're having a kind of a crummy day, you've been stuck in traffic and get a two o'clock monkey bread with your coffee and that's a little pastry. I've never heard of that in my life. Does that also have a miso glaze? Not at all. Not at all. I don't know if you can put a miso glaze on whatever it was you put it on before, put it on anything.

Christ almighty. The Dark Gate is the name of this episode and it has everything. There is a woman in this episode. It's got two guest actors that you might have heard of from other work. It's got more location shooting than any episode of this show has ever had in my experience and another Cartwright best friend. It's something

that happens on this show from time to time, Roy, that you'll find out you've never seen this character before, but he is one of the main characters' best friends forever. Wow. Yeah. And has he ever been introduced before? No, sir. No, and they never had, never before or after will ever a best friend be introduced. That always reminds me, I remember on sitcoms back in the day, like all of a sudden they would introduce, clearly the producers had arranged for a current band to be a guest star on the show.

And they would establish that so-and-so was a huge fan of this band. And most notably, I remember on Good Times Roger was all of a sudden out of nowhere made a massive Doobie Brothers fan. Sure. Because they had a... What's happening? What's happening? Yeah, I remember this episode.

Oh yeah, what's happening? Yeah, yeah. And he was obsessed. That's right. And I think it was about recording a rerun maybe. He was doing a bootleg. He was doing a bootleg. He was doing a bootleg. Yeah, that's right.

Rerun. He's a cover, because of course he's children. You know Roy, how did, you and I, I'm afraid to say share a lot of tastes. Exactly. You have opened my eyes to many curiosities. I have no use for a dumb show like what you're talking about, but I do recall that the audience for that performance

of the Doobie Brothers was about nine people. That's right. And Rerun was right in the front row with a big tape recorder in his jacket, and he couldn't help but dance, and it fell on him. And he did his famous rerun dance. Certainly the rerun dance. You know what was amazing about that show? It spun off into itself, called What's Happening Now, with pretty much the same cast.

That's right. Just about. That's like Bosch Legacy. Or like After Mash. That's right. RIP. RIP. Too bad. The better of the two in my opinion. Also on the facts of life.

Tootie was a huge fan of Jermaine Jackson for one episode. Right. So this is like that, but with friends. It's like that. Very implausible. It's clear they went out to Michael first and it didn't work and then he became, well anyway, I ain't never seen a show like that in my life. If it ain't on Western, I ain't seen it.

Christ sakes. The original air date of this episode was March 4th, 1961. That's when it come out. And let me tell you, the number one movie in the country again was Exodus. Exodus, it went Exodus Spartacus, Exodus Spartacus. Swiss family Robinson. Misfits Exodus.

It sounds like you're about to summon a demon right there. I'm talking. Exitus Spartacus, Exitus Spartacus. I hope I don't. Don't Worry by Marty Robbins was the number one country song. Do you know about this song? It's got in there an early example of guitar distortion. No, I didn't know that.

All right, I might just play it for you for Christ sakes. Yeah, I'd love to hear it. I might just. While you're doing that, I'm gonna open up a can of cool Schlitz. Beautiful. Let's see if this works for you. Yeah. I'm not just going to open up a can of cool slits. Beautiful. Let's see if this works for me. Now the lore is that this was an accident of recording, but that has

since been a reverse engineered into a, the Gibson fuzz pedal or some shit. Is that right? That's what they say, but I think that's showbiz bullshit. They invent, um, Tang for some other reason or something? Or... Astronauts. Yeah. LSD was an accident.

Was it? Yeah. Do you know a chocolate chip cookie, Toll House chocolate chip cookies was an accident? Really? The chips was meant to be dispersed all chocolate throughout the thing, but somebody fucked up and it became chips and Lord Almighty, how fortune's been made.

Wait a minute. You're telling me chips, little tiny chunks of chocolate hadn't been around before that? And not in a cookie. Did you know Oops All Berries was a mistake? Oops All Berries? Yeah, the Captain Crunch Spinoff cereal. I never heard of that. You never heard of that? It comes out seasonally. This is true. And it's just the berries from Crunch Berries. Oh. But then someone, because it's called Oops All Berries, someone made a big mistake and they said, let's put it out anyway. Wow.

And it's amazing tasting. Sounds to me like, oops, I made the best cereal in the world. Wow. Let's have a listen to Marty Robbins. Don't worry, you'll hear this is a fuzz, fuzz, distorted guitar in a country song. And it ain't right. Alright, here it goes. That's a rubber band. This is... It's a big giant rubber band. Midway through the song I went right to the cue. Remember that episode of Family Ties where Alex Keaton was obsessed with Marty Robbins? Yeah, for one episode only.

Well, anyway. Wow. Right? It's like who put the fucking psychedelia into country music? That's right. Who knows what those boys are up to? Yeah, I tell you. The number one song on the regular charts was Pony Time by Chubby Chicker.

You know that song? No. Pony Time by Chubby Chicker. You know that song? No. Pony Time. This song introduced a new dance style called the pony in which, according to Wikipedia, the dancer tries to look like he or she is riding a horse. Now I'm going to show you some groovy teens on a German television show. And you tell me, gentlemen, if you think that these teens look like they're riding a horse. Okay.

They're doing- This reminds me of a time I tried to get a song and a dance going called Do the Fuck. It didn't take. It didn't take? No. All right. Well, these are pretty cool kids. They dance like toddlers. How are they so fancy free on a horse?

I get the hand stuff. Yeah, there they go. Traipsing around. What do you think came first, the song or the dance? Or they're pre-packaged like GI Joe. Yeah. What came first, the song or the bees they were trying to swat away with their hands?

That's how it was in those days. You didn't just write a song. You said, here's a song and within the song is instructions for how to dance to it and I'm gonna name the dance and the song the same thing. I kind of miss those days, I gotta say. Yeah, me too. Pre-packixed everything.

Right? Everything spelled out for you. When's the last time you heard a song that told you what to do while it was happening? I guess that right and stomp and left and stomp. Well, I guess I should probably say it was, I had a real, real rough time. I was working on oil rigs in West Texas.

These are stories of yours I like. I needed to blow some steam, so I went out and it was a dance and that. And it's the first time I heard Grace Jones, Back Up to the Bumper. What a funky song. And they tell you it's step by step, you know, back up to the bunker, bumper, babe. Look, I don't know. If you was right, it really just takes you through the steps. Grace Jones? Grace Jones.

Grace Jones. I was out putting oil fires out with redder and same thing, I need to blow off some steam. And one fella puts on the Macarena and it tells you exactly how to do it there. Exactly. The Macarena. Yeah. Oh Lord, you guys, I don't know what you're into. If it ain't country music, it ain't music.

Here comes my slits. God damn. How about Elvis? Does that count? He's got do the clam. Grab your barefoot baby by the hand, turn and tease, hug and squeeze, everybody do the clam. I can handle Elvis.

That's an Elvis song? That's an Elvis song. Wow. Yeah, all right. And that's what a clam does too. Yeah, sure. I'm not well. You wanna hear some fun facts about people involved

in making this episode. Yes, I do. The director of this episode was a man named Robert Gordon. He was a child actor and he was in The Jazz Singer. Oh, whoa. Isn't that interesting? And he was also the writer and director of a film called The Getaway Face.

Excuse me? The Getaway Face. Is that like butter face? I think it's meant to be a movie about like a fella who changes his face so he can get away. Oh. But it sounds like it's a face that makes people get away. Which finger do I use? This computer knows my fingerprint.

Is that bad? All right. He also was a... What's bad is you just pulled a finger out of your pocket and put it on there. I'm not well, that ain't bad. That is. That fellow would have wanted me to keep using his laptop. This was his only Bonanza that he directed the rider. This is his second of so many Bonanzas.

He was with Bonanza till 1970, goddamn three. And then he did the first season of Little House on the Prairie, this guy. Oh, he's a real landing coattails rider, huh? That's right, exactly. So this guy, we're gonna hear about him a lot. Ward Hawkins, we'll be hearing plenty from him. James Coburn was Ross Marquette in this episode.

Oh, unmistakable. As soon as I heard his voice, I knew what was going on. I fucking love James Coburn. And I'll tell you what, I'm not ashamed to admit it. And this will be something you'll appreciate. He's got a dancer's body. Oh, he absolutely has a dancer's body. He's one of those guys that's scary skinny. Yeah. Like there's something more terrifying about a skinny guy that,

that is not afraid of you than a buff person that's not afraid of you. Yeah, he's more taut than anything. He's got tensile strength that could really hurt you. Yeah. It does seem like he's been stretched out, right? It is weird. It's a weird skinny and tallness that he's got going on there. I fucking love James Coburn. Have you ever seen that movie with James Coburn? Hudson Hawk? No, no. Sister Act II back in the habit.

The Looker? These are close. These are close. He's a World War II pilot and he crashes and it's just him and another Japanese pilot. The whole movie has almost no dialogue. It's just the two of them kind of circling around each other. Oh really? What's it called?

It's fantastic. I can't remember. Somebody on your... Somebody on your... It's called New York Rocks, am I doing it? Same time your, your, somebody on there. Same time next year. That's probably that's a Neil Simon. It's a Neil Simon. They have ended up falling in love and they meet at that Island every year to reenact this cat and mouse. You're really opening up my sensitive side. I cannot wait to try.

Close it, but close it. I can't help it. Oh, Lord. I'm a butterfly. I've gone in my cocoon. I'm the only real man here. Maybe I'm just not afraid to admit it. Oh, damn. I'm insinuating like Coburn.

Oh, well, this is Coburn's second of three bonans as we have seen him on here before. Oh, God, that's right. Yeah, last season. Smaller part, right? Yeah. You know, he made his film debut in 1959 as the sidekick of Pernell Roberts, Adam Cartwright, in a film called Ride Lonesome. So them two, you could see they've got chemistry together, these two fellas. No kidding. Yeah.

It is the most alive I have ever seen Adam when he comes over and Coburn isn't even there, but he's just like, where's my buddy, my best friend ever? I'm so happy, I've never been so happy. We definitely have a past. He gets his jacket off like he's ready to wrestle. Like, hey, we had an appointment with the grab ass. What's going on? We're gonna do some real heterosexual gay stuff. I watched this episode with Betty Lou,

the woman I'm shacking up with, and her main commentary was, he takes off his filthy jacket and puts it on that nice couch. But I would argue filthy, their clothes are spotless every time you watch this show. Well, that's true. And neatly pressed. Neatly pressed. You know what else is spotless? Lauren Green's voice in one section. Oh, I noticed that too.

We'll get to that as well. But my God. Never heard that before. Well, okay. he was in the Magnificent Seven, of course, in The Great Escape. He's the knife thrower, ain't he? Yeah, that's right. He was a student of Bruce Lee. I don't know if he was a dancer, but he was a martial arts student of Bruce Lee.

Lee Marvin was? Wow. No, James Coburn. Oh, I'm sorry, James Coburn. James Coburn, as you're talking about. Imagine if you got Lee Marvin and James Coburn in the same room. Oh, boy. That's some premature and grace inw there that's piercing eyes.

He and James Coburn and Steve McQueen were pallbearers at Bruce Lee's funeral, if you can believe that. Here's another fun fact. But it was just the two of them in one coffin. That's all you needed. That's right. And they were both on one side, still carried in perfectly ornate. Rigid. Here's another fun fact. This is right straight out of Wikipedia.

According to Mr. T, and that's not something you read very often, right there. Why didn't you just go to Mr. Tpedia? This would have been right on there. I should have. According to Mr. T, Coburn was slated to play the Hannibal character on the A-Team.

That's right, I remember that. Yeah, but NBC changed their mind and went with George Papard. Be a whole different movie. I'm torn, I's right. I remember that. Yeah, but NBC changed their mind and went with George Papard. It'd be a whole different movie. I'm torn, I gotta say. I love the A-Team as is, but boy, it would have been cool to see that. Yeah, and Coburn lived quite a bit longer. I think he could have had a reunion. Did Papard's death end A-Team? No, but it just ended any possibility of a reunion, therefore breaking my heart eternally.

Okay. Okay. Mr. T's still out there doing his thing. There is another thing. I guess you'll appreciate this. It made me mad, but it says here, at the time of his death, James Coburn was at home listening to music and playing his flute. That's impossible. How so?

He had debilitating arthritis. Oh, yeah. In Hudson Hawk, his hands are basically webbed. Now wait a minute, have you uncovered a cold case without even realizing it? I know I have. You don't think it's possible he was playing the flute? Unless he has big holes on the flute, he can only play- Yeah, we don't know what kind of flute.

That's true. Oh, he's playing skin flute? Well, that's what, no, that's not what I was suggesting. I'm thinking it might've just been a giant flute with big, you know. Well, I understand that he liked to feel tiny, so he would have, he had a room in his house with giant things. I've heard about those kinks that fellas like to feel. Yeah, yeah. I've never heard of that before in my life.

So he had one of them Lily Tomlin chairs, those big giant chairs. Oh, yeah, sure. And he had a big them Lily Tomlin chairs, those big giant chairs. And he had a big, big flute with the holes for hand size. So he would just pretend he was a little like a little pushy or whatever. And he had enough air in his lungs to get to power a flute like that, huh? I'm telling you, I know for almost a fact,

cause I know he had bad arthritis. He couldn't have been playing flute. Well, but here's, I wasn't gonna mention it, but he late in life, he credited some kind of a homeopathic something or other with curing his arthritis. Well, there you go. And I feel, I sense magical thinking there,

you're probably all about them homeopaths. I'm just telling you, if you will go to our local Whole Foods, they have a special colloidal silver that'll, that'll keep you proper and right. If you have a little sign of a sniffles cold, it'll take care of that. I was going to say, you are a little bit blue behind the ears, especially. He's a lot a bit blue. It's fine. It's just the toxins working their way out of my body.

I thought because you're so shee-shee, you just came from a performance of Blue Man Group. Oh, and they paint everybody, don't they? They do. They do. They just take a lot of colloidal silver. That's right. All right. Delphine Marquette was played by C.C.

Whitney. This is her only bonanza. She's got one of them, uh, very typical careers for a woman like her, where she worked from 1957 to 1966 and then vanished. There's another cold case. Another cold case. Generally, I couldn't find any information about her, but generally it means she got married

and her husband said, I will not have no wife of mine hanging around with the Michael Adams of the world. That's right. That's right. Smart. Yeah. So, but she did, she was in an episode of Whirlybirds

directed by Robert Altman. Wow, we gotta get on that. Gotta buy, oh. Robert Altman directed just about every episode of Whirlybirds. I'm not familiar with Whirlybirds directed by Robert Altman. Wow, we gotta get on that. We gotta buy, oh really? Robert Altman directed just about every episode of Whirlybirds. I'm not familiar with Whirlybirds. You don't know Whirlybirds. Evidently it's a show about,

it's almost like ranting out a pineapple. It's a helicopter charter company. Ah. Yeah. A little bit of like Riptide. Yeah. That's come up on here before. Riptide, yeah. It's exactly the same thing I said, Roy.

What? What's Riptide about? When you first referenced- What the hell? Whirlibirds, I said that's like Riptide. Riptide was on, I believe, right after 18. Oh, OK. Two fellas with a pink helicopter and a nerd with a robot.

With a robot? There's a robot? Sure. In a helicopter? A pink helicopter. Yeah. It was Joe Perry who was a- Joe Penny. Joe Penny? Joe Penny. Joe Perry who was a... Joe Penny.

Joe Penny? Joe Penny. Joe Perry is... Is from Journey. Journey. No, that's Steve Perry. Steve Perry. Steve Perry.

No, Joe Penny, because he was also on Fat Man and... Jake and the Fat Man. Jake and the Fat Man. That guy, I'm thinking of the other guy, Perry. That's where I'm getting Perry. Oh, oh. Perry something or other, because he was almost on solo. Perry Mason.

No. Oh. Perry Mason. something or other. Cause he was almost Han Solo. Perry Mason. No. Oh, Perry Mason. Didn't register the first time. Perry something. He was a handsome devil. He was in the mold of a Dirk Benedict. Oh, I think I know who you're talking about. He was the suave one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I surely don't. I'm not going to watch a goddamn pink helicopter and a robot in the same damn show, but I'm taking them in two different shows. These are Vietnam. This was a, this was a, it was standard practice to have your lead characters be

from Vietnam and then they become private investigators. Yeah. Magnum PI. Oh, I see. I apologize. I asked this a lot of guests. Do you remember the show lottery, I see. I apologize. I asked this to a lot of guests. Do you remember the show Lottery?

I'm blinking on Lottery. It's just two fellas again who got to go notify people that they won the lottery, but then they get into crimes and mischief. This was around the same time and nobody seems to know this show and I feel alone. Have you heard the show Coupon Mailman? Now we're talking. Well, we'll find that show. We'll check it down. Harry Dean Stanton was in this episode.

Amazing. Yeah. Crap. Yeah. What a career. This is his first of two bonanzas. He was in Cool Hand Luke. He was an alien escape from New York repo man.

Wild at heart. Did you know he was in the Godfather part two? Yes, that's right. He's an FBI agent. Oh yeah. You're skipping red dawn for some reason. I did. It was in the list of, and I cut it out of the list.

I did. By the way, I love when shows would reuse the same actors in different parts. Oh yeah. That's cool as hell. Yeah. Remember Deadwood did that. Deadwood did that with. Oh yeah, they did.

Garrett, Garrett, Dilla hunt. Yeah. And he, Deadwood did that. Deadwood did that with... Oh yeah, they did. Garrett Dillahunt. Garrett Dillahunt. Yeah. And he played three parts, I believe. Yeah, he did. He did? He played that... He played the guy who shot...

Jack McCall, the Cunt-Dead Killer. Right. Cunt-Dead Killer. Yep. He played the menacing sociopath who killed the prostitutes. Yeah, Hearst's advance man. And then he played John from Cincinnati on Deadwood Street. He did.

And then he played one of the dead horses on Luck. Okay. Yes, he did. Those are all spinoffs of each other's. He was in Pretty in Pink. You remember that? Yeah, he played the dead. Oh, that's right.

According to Wikipedia, his breakthrough role was not until 1984 in Paris, Texas. Prior to that, he was just a journeyman slugging it out out there. But then he got to do all kinds of things like the Care Bears movie in 1985. Wow. Do you know he was an accomplished flamenco guitarist and singer? Yeah. Yeah. He had a band that put a new spin on mariachi music or something.

That's what he says. Yeah. Yeah. He had, he had a band that put a new spin on Mariachi music or something. Is that right? Yeah, that's what he says. And I believe he was one of them actors who did cocaine well into his eighties and- Good for him. It never stopped. Yeah. Exactly right. He lived to be 91, fueled by cocaine. Yeah, there you go.

He was the best man at Jack Nicholson's 1962- Well, there you go. Wow. How many- There you go. I rest my case. Was that one of the better weddings? I, probably not. That was an of the better weddings? Probably not. That was an early one.

What else? He, uh, something else interesting. Oh, yeah. He was in the movie Green Mile. Do you know the name of his character in Green Mile? I don't even remember him in that movie. Yeah. Was he the mouse?

Maybe. I don't know, but the character's name was Toot Toot. Oh, he's the train. Oh, he was the train in Green Mile. Okay. He was also James Coburn's flute. Toot toot. Oh, he's the train. Oh, he was the train in green mile. Okay. He was also James Coburn's flute. And he also played Johnny velvet on Laverne and Shirley. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. That sounds familiar to you. Yeah, it does. This was a 1982 episode of Laverne and Shirley. I didn't quite know. Oh, I need to go back and watch that. Wait, was that at one point Shirley left, right? One of them left, wasn't it Shirley?

She was probably gone by then. Yeah. It wasn't Laverne, cause that's Gary Marshall's sister. She wasn't gonna destroy the franchise. Destroy a family. That's right. Jake, the character of Jake in this episode,

I don't know who he was in the episode, but he was played by John Mitchum, brother of Robert Mitchum. No shit, this is- Jake, the character of Jake in this episode, I don't know who he was in the episode, but he was played by John Mitchum, brother of Robert Mitchum. No shit, this is Jake. Which one? Well, Jake must have been one of the bad henchmen or something like that. Was he the main?

Oh, he had to be that fella with the shoe polish in his hair. That's, I was gonna comment on that too. Well, he wasn't the guy with the white in his hair. That was- God, that guy seems like a Mitchum. That was Med Flory. Whatum. That was Med Flory. What?

His name was Med Flory. That's amazing. That guy, he's primarily a jazz saxophone player. Jesus! And acting was his sideline. What? Yeah. This is the coolest episode, if the darkest and most depressing of Benazza.

I know. He was also, Med Flory was in a movie called Doctor, You've Got to Be Kidding, starring George Hamilton. It's a good title, right? So it just begins with a cancer diagnosis. Hagelin. Did Robin Williams remade that movie, right? Patch Adams. That doctor was always kidding around. Well, all right. John Mitchum, just a few things about him. He was dirty Harry's food loving partner in the first three dirty Harry movies.

And he died in the third film spoiler. He was also in a 1967 episode of Batman called surfs up jokers under in which he played a character named hot dog. Harrigan. That interesting. Wow. Very strange. And okay.

Last thing I want to tell you about him. Okay. He wrote a poem called America, Why I Love Her. And John Wayne loved it so much that he recorded an album and he recorded himself doing this poem. And television stations all around the country played it at sign off time. This is a lost art. When actors used to do spoken word albums, it just didn't happen anymore. So I'm going to play it for you now. And I think I'm going to institute a new habit in my life of listening to this every night as I sign myself off for the night. It turns to static. It turns to static.

Well, oh, the beginning is just... This thing, we all know this. I'm not familiar with this. This is an intro from some other song. But man, when the duke comes in, it's all different. That was a little fanfare. Here he comes. Oh boy.

You ask me why I love her? Oh, give me time. I'll explain. Here he comes. Oh boy. What's the cold fog drifting over San Francisco Bay? Have you heard a Bob White calling in the Carolina Pines or heard the bellow of a diesel in the Appalachia mines? Is the call of the night... Well, it's about three minutes long. I like how he just starts out chastising the listener. You ask me why?

I was just here drinking my soup. You sneak up on me and ask me why? What kind of a goddamn hippie is walking up to John Wayne saying, Why do you love America? Buddy. You broke into my own home at 1 a.m. in the morning. He says, well, give me time. It's going to take two minutes and 51 seconds, including the fanfare to tell you why.

All right. We're going to get greatest American actor slash spoken word poet. Is it Shatner? Well, he's Canadian. That's right. Shatner is Canadian. So is Lauren Green. Yeah, that's right. Both Canadian Jews. Wow. That's wild. Isn't that wild? Yeah, it sure is. Yeah. So it's down to Nimoy and Wayne.

Is Nimoy? Nimoy's not Canadian? Good question. These days, I don't know, seemingly you can't trust any of the talk. He was a Jewish man. Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking. Nimoy was. Fluent and Yiddish. And Elfish, I believe. Yeah. Finally, just only because your friend Matt would be interested in this. Okay. The guy who played the minister was in both

the parallax view and the Andromeda stream. Oh my God. That was an intense scene with the minister. Yeah. Sure was. Sure was. Sure was. All right.

Should we get to recapping this episode? Yeah, let's do it. Go scene-by-scene. Okay. Scene-by-scene. Oh Lord. This is night be, I always say this, this could be the latest that we've started to recap into the proceed. Well, I don't know. We had all that.

It's a fuffling with the thing. 41 minutes on the time. Okay, good. All right. Fine. That's regular. Does that matter to you? I don't care anymore. I think they still see us. I don't know what happened folks. Well, we'll figure out the live stream problem next time. This episode began real intensely. Isn't it? What's his name? Old, uh, Ross Marquette is beating the shit out of his wife. And it's really people, when you tuned into Bonanza, you didn't know whether you was going to get a lighthearted episode about Haas

eating ribs or an episode like this one. This is heavy. Very disturbing. And if I'm not mistaken, you don't see who's beating her half to death at first. You just see her pleading for mercy. Right, why? What was the point of that? I don't know. I don't think you're doing it.

You're a complicit. Just by watching this, you are part of the problem. That's right. I did feel that way. I did think to myself, don't it's not necessary to grab her by the hair like that? But it wasn't me doing it. That's right. And I did feel that way. I did think to myself, don't it's not necessary to grab her by the hair like that? But it wasn't me doing it. That's right.

They tricked me. Christ almighty, that was hell. But this is Ross Marquette trying to get his wife to admit that she's having an affair with Adam Cartwright. And she does. She goes ahead and says, it's true. All right. But you know what? That was a confession under duress.

Turns out not to be true. Absolutely not true. Adam Carpac gonna fool around with a married woman. Not in this lifetime. I remember this came up as a meme during Abu Ghraib a lot. Oh, yeah. Yeah. You cannot get a confession under coercion.

Everybody's looking for funny memes around that. To sort of sum up the situation. I remember that. To sort of sum up the situation. I remember that. Then we go to some... America. Well, I wanted to comment on this because it's a very, very dark and brutal cold opening and it leaves you sort of thinking like, what am I into? But then they jump right into that jaunty happy music. That's true. You know everything's going to turn out fine eventually

after the fire. Not for her though. Not for her. Oh, that's true. Yeah, that's true. But for us, we're gonna be all right. Yeah, we're all right. Cattle driving, hoss and Adam are driving cows.

They are not finding all the cows they expected to find. It's a spring roundup is what it is. I guess every spring they go out there and let's say, say, let's see how many of our cows survived the damn winter and they expect to lose a few, surely. But not this many. Where'd all the damn cows go? Said it was a mean winter. They had a mean winter.

And then we see Joe and Ben, all four cast members are in this one. This is good. And there, there's a funny joke about counting, which I didn't fully understand. Oh, right. He tells a guy who over counted, so he cut off one of his fingers. He was a man who had six fingers on one hand,

and therefore the count was always off. That's right. Because he was, I guess, he assumed himself to have 10 fingers when really he had 11. So it was necessary to cut off one of his fingers to get the count right. I was thinking it was, he miscounted so he cut one off and shouldn't have. I think he began with such fingers. No, I think he should have because he kept basically overcharging essentially or something. So he'd say, we have, you owe me 101 cattle,

but it was only 100 because he had a sixth finger. See, this just goes to show you that the adage is true. You can't analyze great comedy. Yeah, that's right. You can't find it. I didn't understand it, but I was thankful for a moment of levity in this very heavy episode. We got now, Adam rides up to the silver dollar ranch and he's there. He, this one, he throws his coat on that chair and he's looking for his best friend in the world, Ross Marquette sees him every day.

And what happens? He, well, he ends up knocking out Ross. Oh, there's a conflict. Yeah. Ross pulled. He turns around. He says, Ross, where are you buddy? Let's wrestle.

Come on. Let's, let's, let's, let's scruff each other's hair. And then he turns around and he's, Ross, worry buddy, let's wrestle, come on, let's scruff each other's hair. And then he turns around and he's got a gun on him. James Coburn's got a gun on him. And he seems wild. He's accusing Adam of all this and that. Adam has to do the old table turnover trick to disarm his friend.

And he ends up tying him up and his wife is there, old Delphine, and this is it. I guess he ties him up with a curtain sash and he says, you're coming with me to the Ponderosa. I know your husband suspects us of having an affair, but now I've tied him up and left him on the floor and you're coming with me to my house. That'll dispel his concerns. That's right. I'm stealing you. Converts? That's right. I'm stealing you. Yeah.

Yeah. Thus establishing, I want to say, that she is a infantile waif who can't make any of her own decisions. So she gets passed around a lot and told what to do by strong men. Right. I'll hang out here and get beat up until somebody drags me over to his house.

Yeah. That's true. Otherwise known as a bonanza female character. That's about right. So turns uh, turns out Adam talks to her. She's been getting beat up for a long time and there's something wrong with him. But Adam says, look, I'm not going to drop him as a friend just for a little thing like beating you up for months. You know, well, I'm going to deal with it. I'm going to talk to him.

Now Adam talks to Ross and he unties him and he gives him back his gun because Ross seems to be talking some sense now. But then, oh boy, we find out that's far from true. Here comes a man wanted for robbery and murder monk something. And monk, basically, Ross, I had to watch this scene twice to understand the plot points. Ross lives on or near the Ponderosa. His deal with Monk is, Monk, you, because I am a respected member of society, who nobody knows has gone bad. I can escort you through the Ponderosa to the road where the stagecoach carrying gold bullion is going to be. That's right. And you can hold it up there.

And what I'm bringing to the team is a place for you to hide out and a, and a, uh, legitimate seeming escort through the Ponderosa. And what you're bringing to the team is Harry Dean Stanton and John Mitchum and guns. Well, oh, that was, so he's providing an excuse for them to travel through or he's showing, I didn't understand that either. Like why couldn't, if they're bad guys, why couldn't they just trespass and go through Ponderosa? Because I guess they're afraid that the Cartwrights would see him and say, hey, you're not supposed to be here.

I see. You cannot analyze fun comedy. But speaking of analyze, we kind of brought this up earlier. This monk guy or this bad guy, you know he's bad because the way he walks, but also he's got white hair on the sides of his head. He's got sour cream in his head. Looks like it was slapped on seconds before they decided to roll camera. It looks to me like he might have been eating a Twinkie. Maybe he napped on a Twinkie. Took a little snooze. He got a horrible frat just as seen before.

Did he sound like Henry Fonda a little bit? Did he have a little bit of a Henry Fonda voice? Maybe. Maybe Henry Fonda was doing some of the dubbing in this episode because there is some. There is some dubbing. There is some. Well, now we get to the part where Adam is being a little bit of a detective. He goes into Virginia City to ask around about what's going on with his dear friend, Ross. Seems to be out of sorts. He learns, man, things are complicated plot wise. I'll tell you what. Ross ran out of money.

He had to fire all of his people. I think he lost a bunch of cattle to some disease. Yeah. It had a weird name. What was it? Blackleg or Shakeleg or something? Blackleg. Blackleg. The Blackleg.

The Blackleg. He lost a bunch of cattle to the Blackleg. I don't know what that is, but then he changed his brand to the silver dollar. This is, that was something. Oh, I love this. He changed his brand. the silver dollar. That was something. Oh, I love this. He changed his brand. Now it's a silver, it's an S with a line, a vertical line going down the middle of that S.

Which now? Well, vertical and horizontal, or they change up which means what. But vertical is a line going through the S. And then suddenly his luck changed and he came into money, didn't it? All right. So that we learn at the bank. Then we go to the priest and the priest diagnoses him as evil. That's right. And is this all in one day? Oh yeah.

He pops around. Right, right, right. I believe so. He's popping around. You've been inflicted with a bad case of evil. Yeah. Yeah. That's a scary, menacing scene where the priest tells him what evil is and that basically there's no hope for this man. No. That's right. He basically says the devil is on him. You can pray all you want, but it ain't going to be resolved until he's dead. When a man of God who's all about forgiveness

isn't going to get you out of it. Yeah. It's been real true. I believe he uses the phrase, hail of gunfire, if I'm not mistaken. He'll have to go down in a hail of gunfire. Yeah, he says, what does he say? Spiritual oblivion, a sickness has come to his soul. This priest has no hope for Rosemary. No. But then Adam says, well, let me see if the doctor is any help.

And the doctor is not much help. The doctor predicts that someday we will have a better understanding of mental illness than they do in 1860. I was wondering about that. I wondered if there was something like it going on in the news in 1961 or whenever this was written that they're like, oh, they discovered that brain tumors can cause, you know, weird behavior in people, but that was never resolved. Oh, he's probably just lousy with syphilis or something. Maybe, yeah, because they imply that there's going to be a, like, they'll discover a medical

reason why he's acting this way. Right. There's no resolution on that. This scene has a wonderful line where he says, now all we can do for an insane person is to take his clothes away from him. That'll help him. That's all you can do now. Oh, well. All right.

So Adam has asked the banker and the priest and the doctor for help. And they all pretty much come up. Do they all walk into a bar at a certain point? And a candlestick maker and a soldier and a spy. And then we have the stagecoach stick up and it's, uh, everything would be fine if they just left it up to monk. He doesn't want to kill anybody. He doesn't like to kill people.

No, he's just going to get that gold bullion and ride away. But God damn fucking Ross up there in the rocks shoots the stage coach man for no reason and then shoots monk. That's right. It's crazy. But he shoots him in such a way that Monk's men don't realize that he's been shot by friendly fire. Right. He starts a chaotic, you know, melee and in the confusion, he purposefully shoots Monk.

Yes, he does. So they think that the other bad guys think that, oh, one of the stagecoach people killed him. Right. Because I thought that was weird. He blatantly shoots him in the back. Yes. But then it says to the man, like I'm in charge now.

There's no way of knowing who shot our friend. Right. Now this is a joke we got to the bottom of. This is pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We figured this out. But now, so, Herodine Stanton and John Mitchum are gonna take that gold bullion

back to the Silver Dollar Ranch, and Ross Marquette is gonna take Monk in a different route back to the Silver Dollar Ranch and Ross Marquette is going to take Monk in a different route back to the same place. Why? Because it's faster and theirs is more surreptitious? I don't know. But that's the plan. But then he gets, he's got Monk alone and he says, that's it brother, you're going to

die out here in this field. And that's when we get, I think one of the toughest lines I've ever heard when Monk says, well, I'm gut shot. It's going to take me a couple of days to die. Why don't you give me a shove? That was so sincere. I thought, did I not catch that he's on the edge of a cliff? But he was just metaphorically speaking. Give me a shove. Man to man. I'm going to die. I don't give a damn. I'm a man. He truly couldn't have cared less about the fact that he was going to die.

Now that's either because he's a bad actor or that character is so damn tough. I think it's because he's so... Do you see his hair? Yeah, right. He is tough as hell. Give me a shove into death. He's tough as mayonnaise. Yeah.

And James Coburn is just mercilessly mean. I mean, he is, there's no subtlety in his evil. That's true. He likes killing. Yeah. Do it for any damn reason. So Adam never saw a single sign of this. No, not at all.

Never. He's a sweetheart. In fact, Adam thinks he must be feeling ashamed of himself. He says to Dale, he's probably feeling ashamed of himself for the way that he behaved. And probably we go back to see him and I'll drop you off back there and everything will be right as rain again, right? I believe. But they decide to go out for a ride up to look at the beautiful vista. Uh-oh.

Now why does that make you say uh-oh? Hey, where I'm from, if a man invites a woman out for a ride, it's gonna be some romance or potential romance. Well, that's true. They put a blanket down under an old oak tree. It's a good thing they didn't go up to a pond, because you know for sure they'd have gone swimming. Ew, that's true.

So hot. Such a hot day. We got to get down there, skivvies or less. But they didn't go that far, but man, they did do some flirting for a couple of people who've been violently accused of, of canoodling. They did some flirting and at the end of this scene, I thought this might've been a completely unnecessary scene, but later we learned that it's there so that

we feel a connection to Delphine so that it hurts us. Maybe all their gaslighting is what drove Ross crazy. Oh, that's right. That's right. They do seem to be gaslighting him. That's right. They could have added a scene in the beginning, said, Ross, what's your problem? I just like to take long romantic horseback rides with your wife.

Yeah, that's all. We go up and look at a beautiful view. I like a good long sustained platonic fuck with your wife. Every Tuesday. She, by the way, when she has time to kill at the ponderosa, she makes a beautiful needle point and cleans up. That's right. Good for her.

That's when Betty Lou said she's cleaning up in that outfit. Like you're noticing all the wrong things. Anyway, now here's where we get, what an interesting scene this is because Ben and company have figured out what the fuck is going on with these brands. The Ponderosa brand is like a little pine tree. It's a vertical line. And then are the other lines just straight horizontal? There's like three horizontal lines.

Yeah, they get a little bit bigger each time, right? Yeah, they do. This is up there with Kaiser Soze and I see dead people. Yeah. It's like, I don't know if we've seen the Ponderosa brand before now, but when I saw it, I thought, hey, I'd never seen it before. But that's what it is. As simple a pine tree as you can imagine. Well, now the Silver Dollar Ranch brand, as I've told you, is a letter S with a vertical line through it. And if you line it up just right and put the Silver Dollar brand on top of the Ponderosa brand, you get what looks like a dollar bill.

That's right. What's brilliant is- So he didn't buy those 500 head of cattle. No, he didn't. He stole them. He stole them. Just wait until someone comes along with a brand that's an eight with a vertical line through it and they can get twice stolen.

What do you mean? How's that going to look? You could brand on top of- Eight dollars? Both of those brands. Oh, it just becomes the number eight. Yeah, like I'm the, you know, the vertical eight. That's this ranch, the vertical eight.

Oh, you know what I would have done? I would have invented a brand typewriter, like a giant typeface. And you just slip the cows in there, black paper, and it just- You march them through a giant typewriter. It's real big. Exactly right. And it just- Yeah.

And you could mask it up any way you want. Pretty soon you own all the cattle in that part of the state. Yeah. I feel bad for these cows, though. They got the one brand on them and they said, well, that was terrible, but at least it only happens once. And then the S gets put on top of it. And then you're saying this eight comes along.

And then they get the black leg. Then they get the black leg. Hard out there for a cow. Well, so now, okay. That's a song, I think. Yeah. The full extent of Ross's evil is now known to everybody. He's a goddamn cattle thief.

It was one thing when he beat the crap out of his wife for months, but he's a cattle thief now, son of a bitch. And so they're all, they're going to go, Posse's going to go after him. I think they must know about the stagecoach too at this point. I don't know. Posse's going to go after him. Adam's going to go home to check on Delphine, because some guy who only has one line in this episode says, well, it was me. I'd go check on Delphine. I'm Bill Stage Direction. And he does. And now we get to see, finally, we get to see Harry Dean Stanton do some talking.

He's been silent up till now, but he's in the bunkhouse with the other surviving posse member. How old is he in this? Do you know? Oh, I don't know. Who? He was 90. Harry Dean Stanton. Oh, he's pretty young in this, right?

He's eternally looked kind of weather beaten. Well, you want to find out what year Harry Dean Stanton was born? I'm going to guess he was in his early thirties. You say early thirties. Yeah. I'll say, I'll say, I'll say 30, 36. You say early 30s. Yeah, I'll say 30, 36. You say 36, I have to do some math. That's probably too old, I think you're right.

Now, maybe while you do this, I'm gonna tell you a little something to blow your mind. What's an extra special connection that I have to Bonanza? What? One of the towns I lived in, after he starred in Trapper John MD. Purnell Roberts. Purnell Roberts lived in my town.

No shit. And I used to see him around town. And it was a thrill because I never saw famous people. Did you ever interact with him? I ate at the same Chinese restaurant as seeing his wife one time. But I wouldn't have even considered bothering him. You wouldn't have?

No, no. I was just a kid. And you didn't even know that he was a legendary asshole. No, I him. You wouldn't have? No, no, I was just a kid. And you didn't even know that he was a legendary asshole. No, I did. Oh, you did? Yeah, because I had watched Trapper John MD, I watched Bonanza. Okay, no, but he was an asshole.

Oh, an asshole, I'm sorry. No, I did not know that. Yeah, well, he hated Bonanza and he never passed up an opportunity to say rude things about Bonanza. Yeah. And I never, speaking of mysteries, I never understood that why they took the name

Trapper John MD from Mash. Yeah, we were just talking about that. But they never referenced it or acknowledged it. Did they not? I don't think so. It's the slimmest spinoff ever, the thinnest in name only. Right. It's a weird one. I don't care for it. All right. What were your guesses about Harry Dean Staines' age? I said early 30s. You said 36. I said less. I'm going to say 33. Well, if it's Price is Right rules, you win, Roy. He's 35. Oh, wow.

But you were closer to the mark. I don't know. We didn't say what it was. It's Price is Right. All right, fine. That is the gentleman's rules. Everybody knows. Strict rules. Turns out these two henchmen, they understand by now that Ross has murdered their leader, Monk. But they're still hanging out in this bunkhouse trying to figure out next steps.

And that's weird. But now here comes the posse. And there's a little bit of back and forth there where the other guys is smarter and calmer and he's thinking to Nick, how are we going to handle this possibly? But Harry Dean Stanton panics and he fires and the other guy's like, well, now you've done it. But I don't- He's smarter until he walks right out into a hail of gunfire. That's true. He might not have been smarter at all because I'm not sure what the better plan would have been. So the guy that's not Harry Dean Stanton is Robert Mitchens' brother.

Oh, yeah, probably. That's a question. I don't know. I guess that's right. I think that's right. Because he had a great character actor fate, like a real. He did. He did. He must have been an older brother.

No, he was a younger brother. It could be that John Mitchum was the guy who said, here's who is me, I'd go back to Don Rosa. I really don't know. I've just been making assumptions. But all right, here we got Joe. Who else? Hoss, Ben, and the sheriff are all shooting it out now with Harry Dean Stanton and maybe John Mitchum. And John Mitchum says, I'm going to make a break for it. And he just runs

into the line of fire. And Hoss, they've been firing and nobody's shooting anybody. Although did you notice they did shoot a canteen in the spray water. Yes, that was pretty cool. It was very cool. Yeah. But nobody's hitting anybody. And then when Hoss has a good shot of that one guy, he takes this one serious. He lines it up on his elbow.

That's right. He frames it in the pit of his elbow. Yeah. He goes, okay, this time I'm trying to shoot. This is the kill shot. Yeah. You know what I love about that? It reminded me, I used to hear this is the kill shot. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I love about that reminded me

I used to love you should hear this all the time Just Westerns and movies tons and tons of gunfire and they'd have that Well, I forgot to mention earlier in a way earlier scene Ross fired his gun at Adam and shot him in the shirt That's right, and he ends up shooting him again in the same arm. Well, does he? I'm not clear on that. Well, at the end he's got a sling on. Oh, he does have a sling on.

Yeah, blood. But you're right. And by the way, when he shoots him, Adam does not flinch at all. Nope. He doesn't move, he doesn't blink. Yeah. I was trying my best,

cause I'm obsessed with squibs, to see if that was a squib, but this just doesn't seem like the type of show that was a squib, but this just doesn't seem like the type of show to do a squib. So they just tie a little string to make his shirt do a little dance there. Well, that bears looking back into. I did skip the part because I don't know what scene exactly had happened when old Ben Cartwright is talking to his son and all of a sudden the voice is Ben Cartwright from another time and another

another esophagus what do you think happened there that was I didn't know yeah I didn't know if that was like an old print that they they added something on to or he just must not have been available and they didn't have the need to thought we don't need him to sound they'll get that it's him we don't have to make it sound like him. You don't think it was even Lauren Green. No, I don't think it was. No, no, no, no.

I think back then, because there was no VCRs, no nothing, that you would have just watched that, questioned it, but never been able to go back and go, and you would have done a brrr, must have been me. That time travel again? Yeah. I've mentioned this before, but there's that episode of Twilight Zone where the girl from To Kill a Mockingbird is in this where they swim under the pool and go to that Huck Finn village because their parents are divorcing.

And she's got her voice for the first 15 minutes. Then the second 15 minutes, it's a June foray. It's a strange. They must've, there must've been a problem with the sound. Yeah. Yeah. Something went wrong with this. I don't know how they, they did sound back then, but they probably lost the sound

and then they just had to get it out. Maybe Lauren Green's like, I'm not, I'm not leaving Studio City or wherever I live. But what's funny is they come back to the same frame up of him and he's got the sound. So they just lost, maybe like there was a bull roaring or something and someone was going like, maybe Adam was off camera going, I fucking hate this job. Get your lines right old man. Something like that. Wow. Yeah, I do know speaking of June 4,

what's his name? Paul Fries, the great voice actor. He used to double Orson Welles and all kinds of other people. So maybe it was just the thing of like, if the audio was bad, Paul Fries, the great voice actor. He used to double Orson Welles and all kinds of other people. So maybe it was just the thing of like, if the audio was bad, you didn't, it was impolite to ask the actor to come back in and get somebody else. June Four Way and Paul Fries were probably on contract players of some kind where they just come in. They're already in doing something. Hey, can you plug in some Lauren Green for us? Sure. Exactly. Well, what did you...

Nobody wanted to tell him he does not do a good Lauren Green impression. He prided himself on her. Just let us as all these guys. That was actually Jude Ferre. Well, then we have the showdown between Adam and Ross and boy, do they take their time with this one. Man. Yeah.

It's kind of arty in a way. It is. Where do you think that is? Because I was trying to figure, that's gotta be somewhere near LA. Well, normally when they went on location, they went up to the Lake Tahoe region. They did?

Yeah, normally. But this does seem like Vasquez Rocks or something. Yeah. Where Captain Kirk got the lizard man. Or I wonder if we could, what's that place that's up near Tahoe, that mono lake or what's that lake that's up near Tahoe, that mono lake? Or what's that lake that you see bumper stickers of?

Lake Tahoe? No, no. It's a... It's got... No, no, no. It's... Morro Bay. No, Morro.

Lake's superior. Mono lake, mono lake. Mono lake, it's called. Mono lake has some of those formations, I think. Okay. I could be wrong. Yeah, it's an interesting landscape. It's rocky and dusty and dry and hot. Mono Lake has some of those formations, I think. Okay. I could be wrong. Yeah, it's an interesting landscape.

It's rocky and dusty and dry and hot. They're out there scaling the rocks. They know one man is going to die today. Yeah. Right? They really take their time to figure out that. They do. There's a lot of run.

It's almost like you're in a separate show all of a sudden. Yeah. Yeah. Then, well, damn, Ross completely gets the jump on at Adam. He turns, he gets him. It's over. Did you figure out how that happened? I didn't quite. No, I did not. I did not. The geography of that doesn't quite add up. They lost some footage along with the sound.

They even have Roy try to trick him by throwing a rock and it doesn't work, but they show the whole thing. Even though there's no consequence. He doesn't even throw a rock over there. There work, but they show the whole thing, even though there's no consequence. He doesn't even throw a rock over there. There's nothing to gain from it. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Oh, well. But he does, he fires several times at Adam is what happens, but Adam, he only gets shot one time in the arm and then he dives out, he pulls his pistol and bang, one shot, that's it. But there's time to talk to him before he dies, which is unusual. And I thought to myself, surely he's going to have a redemption. The devil's going to leave him. And I guess that is what happened, isn't it? Yeah, he held his hand, didn't he? The spell broke.

That's right. Because there was a moment where he didn't recognize who Ross even was. Right. Oh, Ross didn't recognize who Adam was. Sorry, Ross didn't. who Adam was. Sorry Ross. He's like, who am I? What's going on? Where am I?

Yeah, who are you? Oh and then he says it's my wedding anniversary in a couple of weeks. And Adam's like, no, that was 10 months ago. He experienced 10 months of lost time. And that woman you married, you beat senseless. He killed her. Yeah.

Oh wait, we forgot that she died. Oh yeah. When Adam runs back after the guy says, I go to the Ponderosa and check on Delphine. In our defense, I think every other character forgot she died. But Adam, before he goes and has this hunt down with him in the rocks, he goes back to the Ponderosa

and he is there for the dying moments of Delphine. That's right. This is a true friend to be there for the dying moments of wife and husband. Yeah. But what does she say? She just says, it was Ross that did this to me. That's right.

I mean, as if there were any doubt. True. Yeah. Yeah, she dies. And then he has this poor man, Ross Marquette, whatever madness or devil overtook him, he doesn't have any idea about anything he's done the whole time.

Well, he's treated as a victim throughout. He's treated like the ultimate victim of this. You're right. You're right. And at the end, that's where I thought, oh, there's gonna be an epilogue where the doctor did an autopsy, because he transforms and he says,

I don't know what happened to me. Basically, he doesn't apologize, but he realizes that he hasn't been himself. He calls it real Darth Vader. Yeah. And Andy, which I forgot, you used to see this all the time. He did, I'm so cold. It's got to be one of the first I'm so cold deaths. Oh, yeah. I'm fading away. I'm so cold. Mama, mama.

Mama. I'm coming, mama. But so he expires and back at the Ponderosa, I didn't think we was gonna get another scene after that, but we did. Adam is all bummed about his good friend dying, couldn't be more sad. And the host comes up, trying to cheer him up. And all he needs to say to him is, he didn't die a stranger, right?

And Adam goes, oh yeah, you're right. Everything's fine. That's right. Yeah, he really, that fixed it. It did. By the way, he looks like a badass, I gotta say at the end. He's all in black. He's got a black sling. I mean, he looks like a character you would not want to mess around with. At a Chinese restaurant.

That's right. Leave him alone to eat his kong pao chicken. Well with that my friends, I'm sad to say there's only 374 episodes left of Bonanza. Can you believe that? I cannot believe that. Why did they stop making them? I don't know why. That's sad.

They started making Polaroid cameras again. They can't start making Bonanza? Yeah, goddammit. Well didn't they? They started, it's called Yellowstone. Oh, yeah. Is that, I can's called Yellowstone. Oh, yeah. Is that real? I can't handle Yellowstone.

You like it? Is it embarrassing? No, I watched the first season, about half of it, and I thought, oh, this is fun and campy. And then it was so ridiculous. Yeah. Every five minutes, a major event happens. Oh, yeah, yeah.

And there's, I mean, everybody's in a different show remarkably, and they're both chewing, they're all chewing the scenery in different ways. Costner's great. I love a rough-voiced Costner. Oh, you guys excited about Horizons part one and two? What the hell is that? Oh yeah. There's nothing like making you want to see a movie when they say, hey, there's going

to be, this is going to be long and there's going to be two of them. Dune was at least smart enough to say, we're not going to tell you part two until you go see part one and are interested. Right. This is his new epic he's directing, Western Epic. Oh, really? Yeah. Old Kevin Costner is? It's like Waterworld on land.

Oh, boy. I kind of feel, I'm a little nervous for Costner because I think this is a bit of a comeback for him. Yeah. And I don't think it's going to work. I think he should just left it at Yellowstone. I think he's got another postman coming. Oh. Exactly right.

He flies too close to the sun, Kevin Costner does. He needs to just hunker down with Jewel and enjoy his residuals. Jewel? Oh, is that it? He's married to Jewel? Or Daytoner, I think. Oh, good for them. I like them.

They're taking rides. He owned a restaurant called the Twin Palms there in Pasadena and it was a real good place to go for a Sunday brunch. Is that right? When was that? Catty Corner to Bucca di Beppo about 10 or 15 years ago. Oh, I didn't know that. Is that now the white horse? It's a vacant space and it has been for all this time. That's prime real estate. Bucca di Beppo on Green Street? Yes, sir. Cate Corner. Cate Corner.

Holy shit. Yep. That was a Kevin Costner restaurant? Kevin Costner. As recent as when? 15 years ago, I'd say. Oh, I wasn't around. Kevin Costner was near the Bucca di Beppo.

Kevin Costner, Bucca di Beppo. I think Bucca di Beppo was like, oh, no, you don't. And it was like a restaurant war. Oh, a range war versus a going to the mattresses mafia war. That's what it was. There's a movie I'd watch. Me too. Well, that is an episode of Bananas for Bananas.

We went a little over with your indulgence. I hope you don't mind. And I don't know if the livestream worked at all. Roy, how did you got anything to plug? Well, I'd like to plug my friend's podcast, College Town, Comedy Bang Bang World, along with Full Throttle with Bob Duca. And I also wanna plug, we're having a special

at the cafe on buckwheat scones. Buckwheat scones? Yep, all locally sourced and accompanied by, the cafe on Buckwheat scones. Buckwheat scones. Yep. All locally sourced and accompanied by of course, a macchiato made with the traditional, just a dollop of foam. Cowboy talking about a dollop of foam, son of a gun, it's a strange world, but I appreciate it having you here, Roy. Uh, what do you got to say?

Well, while you guys were talking, I was just ordering an exotic fruit of the month club. Oh, what do you got to say? Well, while you guys were talking, I was just ordering an exotic fruit of the month club. Oh, what the? Yeah. April is Kiwi month. Oh, wow. And I'm very excited about that because I've never tasted Kiwi. That's a fruit that's got hair on it, man.

Exactly. It's a manly fruit. That's right. It's great. That's the prairie oyster of fruits. It's the prairie oyster of fruits. All right folks. Well there, there, there, that'll wrap it up for us. We'll see you next time. Here comes my regular sign off. Now get y'all! Bye now!

Bananas for Bananzas brought to you by Andy Daly with Mad Corley. Theme song by Mad Corley with The Journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikoff and Wade Wright. Bananas for Bananzas mixed and edited by Mark McConley. Executive produced by Andy Daly and Mad Corley. We'll see you around. Mark McCone, executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Gould. We'll see you around.