Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #61: “The Rival”

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly It's another Patton Oswaltmananza! Legendary film director Robert Altman brings this tale of cattle thieves, lynch mobs, a love triangle and some unresolved mom stuff to vivid life in Bonanza, Season 2, Episode 28, 'The Rival’ and Patton Oswalt beams in via Zoom to help Dalton and Mutt break it down.Featuring Matt Gourley and Patton OswaltMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 6/27/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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which was released to our Patreon subscribers on July 3 2024. This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of bananas for bananas every other week. If you want to July 3rd, 2024. Subscribe today and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. Get your great outdoors inside. Take some ponderosa pride and forever may it ride. Well folks, here we go. I'm gonna start with a ee-ha! Hello folks, it's Bananas for Bananza, episode 61, and we're talking about episode 60 of Bananza. Shit.

Alright, we're gonna figure that out soon. This is an episode called The Rival, which is directed by a fellow by the name of Robert Altman. And when Robert Altman shows up to direct an episode of Bonanza 62 years ago, shows up in the present day Patton Oswalt. Guys, thanks again for having me back on. I love this Altman journey we're taking. It's delightful. And we're doing this one by way of a Zoom connection.

If you find yourself having troubles or difficulties hearing or whatever, that's why. But we're doing it. We're in different locations this time. But we just had to fucking pull it off, man. And we have. That's right. I'm down at the old sawmill, in case you hear some of that.

I just thought, for podcasting, why not go to the loudest place possible case you hear some of that. I just thought for podcasting why not go to the loudest place possible. Yeah, that's good. You might hear I'm surrounded by dogs. You might hear that. All right, folks. Here's how I begin every turn of I can turn a fan on in the background if it would add to the. It'd be nice. Yeah. Okay. Very good. And this might be the time to make some margaritas too if you can. Alright folks, here we go. Hello friend. Come on in. The gate is open wide. Welcome to bananas for bonanza. Today we'll be discussing season two episode 28 the rival. This episode has everything. It has

a woman and when she has extreme bangs, it has a vigilante pack taking vengeance on a vigilante pack. And it's got some some pretty serious mama issues, I think you'd have to say. Well, the fact that it's got a woman and mama issues coming from director Robert Altman, which in a sense is alternative man, alt man, which is really just a woman. So I get that he has a sensitivity. Whoa. An alternative man is a woman. Watching you put that together like that. That's yeah, that's some galaxy brain stuff. Well, here at the sawmill, it's easy to concentrate. I can imagine. Well, I did some researching on the date that this episode aired.

Do you want to hear a little bit about it? Yep. Oh, yeah. It was April 15, 1961. Okay. And Exodus is still the number one movie at the box office. This is weeks and weeks and weeks of people going to

see a three hour 46 minute movie about the founding of the state of Israel they can't get enough so that was the that was the Avengers infinity gauntlet I guess so there's a few is fewer special effects I I think, but otherwise. I know we've talked about this before. I know it's popular to put out a long movie. What's his name? Old Kevin Costner's about to put out,

what's he calling that? Up to Four Horizons. Christ almighty. For sure too, and then depending on how distribution goes, four. Lord. Probably two. But I believe it is a four hour movie, that first one. And then depending on how distribution goes for Lord now to. But I believe it is a four hour movie. That first one.

Three hours, three hours and one minute. Same as Dances with Wolves. The exact same in that weird. Yeah. Is there going to be an intermission? I doubt it. I mean, I don't know why that would be the the the increasing size of beverages in movie theaters these days,

he would kind of need to have an intermission, yeah? I would think so. At the very least, just a moment in there where maybe the characters all go to the bathroom. You know what I mean? So not to be ageist, but his fans, the Yellowstone fans, they're going to need that bathroom break. Or two.

Or two or three. Absolutely. Yeah, exactly. Why not just have an old section where the seats are turlets? It's not a bad idea. This is like my idea. Instead of a restaurant, it's called a rest-a a room and you just eat on a crapper yeah how has that not already how does that not already exist i'm baffled i'm trying i'm baffled

have you tried i'm trying yeah i'm doing it right now yeah yeah they could also sell diapers at the concession stand there's a lot of ways to crack this. Yeah. The number one country song is still Don't Worry by Marty Robbins and Blue Moon by the Marcells is still the number one song. But boy things get interesting when we get into celebrity birthdays. I always try to find out who was born on the date this episode aired. And this time man we've got Finnish javelin thrower Tina with two eyes Lilac. Lilac I was gonna say yeah. Wow she threw the javelin for Finland now how's that for a celebrity birthday? Wow that's as good as we've ever had. Yeah that is massive. There's and there's another one too a gal by the name of Lynn Austin, who was the very first waitress hired to work at Hooters in 1983.

She did not know her destiny. That's her parents standing over her cradle did not know who they were standing next to. Is that something? Wow. Yeah. She she I guess she had great distrust upon her, right? Isn't that have that works? Well, genetically.

Yeah. I guess she was discovered by one of the Hooters founders at a bikini contest. And I looked up the Hooters founders. There's a whole bunch of them and one of them is named Lynn, L-Y-N-N. And I thought, well, I'm glad they had a woman as one of the founders of Hooters, but it's a man, Lynn. Yeah. Isn't that strange?

Good heavens. It's like a boy named Sue. He became tough growing up called Lynn and decided I'm gonna found the manliest thing I could think of. He overcompensated by how much he loves breasts. Exactly. Yeah. Boy, I love a Hooters.

Oh, man, I love a Hooters. I can't get enough of going. That's where I have lunch most days. What's your favorite? What's your favorite item on the menu? My favorite item on the menu is the boobs. OK, I go to Hooters just to read the articles. Also on April 15, 1961, it was the first day of the Bay of Pigs invasion.

Oh, isn't that great? Boy, that was a I read a little bit about that. The first day of the Bay of Pigs invasion was a couple of airplanes took off from Nicaragua that the CIA had painted to look like they was Cuban military, but there was American planes and they missed a bunch of their targets. And Castro said immediately, he said, well, that was an American operation. There was no question about it.

And things just went downhill from there. The whole thing was a mess. I guess the funniest thing that happened in the Bay of Pigs was it is at some point there was not this day but there was another flat from a bombing raid from Nicaragua to Cuba but they they forgot that there was a time zone difference in there so they was trying to coordinate with the guys on the ground but dang it. That'll get you every time. I tell you what, that's CIA. That's why you got to synchronize your watches, man.

Exactly. Was my aunt running that operation? That's something she would absolutely do. Oh, I always, the hour, the hour change, I always mess that up. Anyway, bombs away. That's right. Good luck, everybody. Yeah, they blew that one.

That was too bad. Oh, well. And Castro. Calgary, also known as the blue sky city. We get more sunny days than anywhere in the country, but more importantly, we're the Canadian capital of blue sky thinking. This is where bold ideas meet big opportunity, where dreams become reality. Whether you're building your career or scaling your business,

Calgary is where what if turns into what's next. It's possible here in Calgary, the blue sky city. Learn more at calgaryeconomicdevelopment.com. If you're anything like us, you love attention. And my favorite way to get all eyes on me is with next level shiny glossy hair. Which is why we're so excited to tell y'all about the new LaMelaure gloss collection

from the girlies at Tresime. And gigglers, we've got you too, because Tresime partnered with us to bring you 1-800-GLOSS, a special bonus episode of Giggly Squad, where Hannah and I give advice on all things hair and giving gloss. Check out the episode and grab the LaMeller gloss collection today because I'm officially declaring this spring gloss season. Alright, now, fun facts about people who's involved in this episode.

Old Robert Altman, who would go on to make a whole movie about Garrison Keillor. Did you ever see that one, Patton? You know what? That's one that I believe that's his last movie. And that one I did not see. You have not seen that, Perry Holcomb? That one I haven't.

I've seen a lot of Altman's. That one is not in my, I have not that notch on my the butt of my rifle. Yeah I ain't seen it either. What do you reckon in your opinion is the is his very best of all of his films? Well in my opinion and again I I'm loathe to bring this up around your dog because I know this would we would probably enrage you but it it's McCabe and Mrs. Miller. He himself called it an anti-wister. Right there, I'm like, well, I probably shouldn't, but it is, it's not just my favorite Altman film. I think it's one of the greatest films ever made.

I'm sure you would differ on this if you ever saw it, but I would strongly recommend you do not see that movie, though. I'll listen, I have no interest in that film because I know how it ends. It ends all wrong. It ends all wrong. You don't need it. The ending is incorrect.

Give me what's the second favorite then that I can enjoy. Oh boy. Well, there's a great one he made called California Split about two gambling addicts in California with George Siegel and Elliot Gould and it is fantastic. I don't like either of those guys.

Give me a third. All right. Popeye. You know what? Listen, I think Popeye is fantastic. I do too. I'm not kidding. Yeah, it is a genuinely fantastic movie. Although again, I might not recommend that to Dalton

only because it is basically a sneak remake of McCabe and Mrs. Miller, but with a happy ending. It's almost the exact same plot. Interesting. There's a whorehouse in the movie. In the movie, Popeye, there's a whorehouse. Well, they don't call it a whorehouse, but it's clearly a whorehouse in the movie. In the movie Popeye there's a whorehouse. There is. Well they don't call it a whorehouse but it's clearly a whorehouse and if you look very

carefully there's a woman with red curly hair lying on a bed looking at a piece of pottery just staring at it which is the last shot of McCabe and Mrs. Miller while she's sitting there looking at the pottery so they kind of put a little nut but it is basically McCabe and Mrs. Miller was sitting there looking at the pottery. So they kind of put a little nut, but it is basically McCabe and Mrs. Miller. Wow. Okay. So I can't see that one neither. Well, I don't want you shooting another one of your TVs. I know. I've shot any number of TVs and laptops and phones. I tried to watch a movie on my phone and I had a hard time.

Took three rounds to shoot that phone because it's small. But I got it. I mean, I don't think Oppenheimer was meant to be seen on your iPhone. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, that belongs in a theater. I'm not sure it was meant to be seen at all. This episode was written by a man named Anthony Lawrence, who I'm sorry to say is still alive.

Oh. He is 96 years old. We've talked about this guy before. This is his third of eight bonanzas. He would go on to write episodes, one each dedicated to Ben Cartwright's wives. Oh, my Lord. That's weird. Flashback episodes all about falling in love with these ladies

and then murdering them I suppose. When do we get to one of those? Um I think it'll be a little while maybe season three I think is the first one. Okay. They're all called like Elizabeth my dear, Ingrid my dear, whatever the other one is my dear even he didn't know cameo Johnson was played by Peggy and Garner this is her only bonanza her Wikipedia page has this haunting sentence she reached the height of her success at the sentence like that. You sure do. What was it? Well, she was in the movie A Tree Grows in Brooklyn. And they gave her a special Academy Award called an Academy Juvenile Award. And it's literally smaller than the regular Oscar. That's cute.

She got a tiny Oscar. That's adorable. She did. She got a teeny tiny little Oscar. I might try and see if I can show you. Oh Lord, I'd have to share my screen. She is it worth it? Should I try?

I would not. I wouldn't do it. All right. I want to be, I want to be. Cause I'm seeing that this is actually being live streamed. So we don't want to fuck that up. Oh, okay. Good.

Let's not fuck that up. But I found a little clip of Bob Hope. He's doing a little bit with her. He's, he's standing with her. She's got her miniature Oscar. It's about this big. And then he's got a prepared joke where she says, I hear you won an Oscar. And he pulls out one that's about this, like an inch tall. Oh, Bob. And it's real funny. But then she ad libs, I think. She says, what'd you win that for?

And he goes all to pieces and the bit falls apart. He wasn't ready? He wasn't ready. He wasn't ready for that. So you didn't find that on YouTube. Did he goes all to pieces, he's laughing or he's enraged at someone upstaging him? What's? Well, he just is flummoxed and they end the bit.

But because he got, she go, what'd you win that for? He goes, what did I, how'd you come up with what did I wait? How did you come up with that? How did you come up with that? And then that's the end of it. That's why she never worked again in any serious. Because he was like, no, she does not. I guess that's right. Yeah. Stick to the fucking script, kid.

Sure. There was no hope for her career. kid. There was no hope for her career at all. Damn right. This lady was in one episode of Bonanza and one episode of Combat, which was also directed by Robert Altman. Damn! And he never used her in any of his movies? Yes he did!

A decade later, she appeared as the pregnant aunt in the movie a wedding 1970 oh She's pregnant and in that one. There you go. She had three divorces and only lived to 52 Oh, I know She packed a lot in dude. Do we know what did her in it was some sort of a cancer? Yeah You know, so yep, that's fun. Now we got Jim Applegate was played by Charles Aidman who in addition to this was also in Three Whirlybirds. That's the show. Oh, yes he was. Wow. Beautiful Whirlybird. He's also in an episode. Let me see if I

can try to explain this to you because I went and found it and I watched parts of it. It's an episode of All in the Family. And Lionel is engaged to a... Remember, Lionel is the son of George and Louise Jefferson. Oh, that's right, yes. And I forget how the Jeffersons are acquainted with the bunkers, but maybe they're neighbors. They were neighbors. Yeah, they were. And then also so is mine. Right.

Okay. What a neighbor. Spinoffs. Yeah, yeah. And Archie's place too. Remember later when he had a bar? Place. Oh, that's right. But then the Jeffersons go on to move to a deluxe apartment in the sky so that's correct Okay, so this is before they moved on up there Yeah, Queens wherever they were

So Lionel's getting married and there's an engagement party and Lionel's future parents-in-law show up and The mother is a black woman and the father is a white man. And now those two characters, George and Helen or Charles and Helen. Oh, they become the neighbors on the Jefferson's. They become they do. They move in next to the Jefferson's. Now, when that happened, that was that was on the Jefferson's. But when it happened on all in the family was different actors playing the roles of the this is a backdoordoor pilot if I've ever heard of one.

Yeah, I think that's right. I think there's there's a lot like good times is a spin off of either on the family or the Jeppersons that the mom in good times is someone's cleaning woman. Oh my God. Yeah, there's all these and then I think Ned Stark from Game of Thrones was a neighbor of Archie's Game of Thrones. I think spun off from All in the Family, too. So that's...

He was always... Queens is in Winterfell. It is in, yeah, Winterfell. I think for a season, Mike Stivick is on the North Wall. Oh, they put him on the Wall for a reason. Yeah. He just comes in, he's all cold, like, oh, that North Wall. And they just go into the episode.

That's right. And Bea Arthur is definitely Brienne of Tarth's all cold like, oh, that Northwell. And they just go into the episode. That's right. And Bea Arthur is definitely Brienne of Tarth's mother. Yes, absolutely. Oh, I did know that. I did know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. But here's where things, okay.

So in the All in the Family episode, this is the first time George Jefferson understands that his about-to-be daughter-in-law has a white father. And George Jefferson's whole thing is he hates white people. understand that his about to be daughter-in-law has a white father and George Jefferson's whole thing is he hates white people and honking in huh he calls him honkeys that's what he does and he's and a fight gets started you can never make that you could never make that today by the way I don't ever well get a load of this part George Jefferson at some point, there's an argument ensues and George Jefferson says,

just wait a minute and we're going to hear him say, and then he says the N word. Oh Lord. On television we hear it and then Archie Bunker's response, he says to his wife, he says, look at that, I haven't said that word in three years. Wait, George Jefferson says it or the father? George Jefferson says the N word on prime time, all in the family. Wow. So that's a famous episode and our friend Charles

Aidman is in it. Wow. Now also- I have some thoughts on Charles Aidman that we'll talk about later on in the episode. It's a weird- As Jim Applegate? As Jim Applegate or well, I don't want to spoil the twist. we'll talk about later on in the episode. It's a weird as Jim Applegate as Jim Applegate or well, I don't

want to spoil the twist. We'll talk about. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, here's another thing. He was also in the pilot for a show called San Francisco International Airport, which started already sounds like

they were going to build. I'm sorry. They're going to build a show around SFO. Yes, just continually fogged in. They were going to build a show around SFO. Yes. Oh my. It's just continually fogged in. Oh my God.

Yeah, just people waiting. San Francisco International Airport, the pilot starred Pernell Roberts. Whoa. What? As what? A pilot or like administrator? He's some sort of a problem solver at the airport. He races around solving problems.

Oh, I'm glad he finally got his series of drama he was looking for. And when they picked it up to series and they say we'll order six episodes but you have to recast Purnell Roberts with Lloyd Bridges, which they did. Oh, so that's why his airplane cache comes from there. There you go. Lord Bride. Oh, what's right. One. Yeah. And the pilot episode of San Francisco International Airport was featured on an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in 1994. I guess it's that shitty.

So hang on. It was a TV movie. Yeah, it was a pilot that aired as a TV movie. A movie and they were trying to, oh my gosh, I got to, wow. So it was that bad. Yeah, and you see Purnell in the pilot. You see him in there. Oh, wait. So did they ever make the series with Lloyd Bridges?

They did. They made six with Lloyd Bridges. Okay, I see. But they had previously aired the pilot with Pernell Roberts. In those days, you could do things like that. That's right. What the hell was the plot of that show week to week? I only saw one clip, and in the clip, there's like an eight-year-old boy who gets himself into a tiny little airplane

because he's running away from his mother for some reason, and he takes off, and he's flying. Wait, what? Yeah, this little boy takes off in this tiny airplane and air traffic control says to the pilot of a big jumbo jet, they say, you can't land. There's a small child flying a small airplane around the runway. And the pilot says, I have to land.

There's a man in the cabin holding a gun on my wife. Oh my god. Is this also like they'd have a lot of guest stars like love boat or fantasy island. Yeah, yeah. Well, they're different guest stars every week. There must have been there. Must have been. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, anyway, Charles even, I don't know what exactly he did in that pilot, but you're watching. You'll find out. Furthermore, Frank Gideon, a poor man's Clint Eastwood if ever I've seen one oh boy uh that was Robert McQueenie his wife here's what happened to this man in 1970 his wife gave up acting and became an agent and signed Harrison Ford whoa who she represented until her death in 2005 until her death in 2005. She was Harrison Ford's agent from 1970 to 2005. So wait, that's a real precise moment in time.

Was she or was she not responsible for Hollywood homicide with Josh Hartnett or Firewall? Well, you know what I was going to say? I looked at old Harrison Ford's resume and one could make the argument that things went to shit in 2005. Yeah. Prior to that, you can't find too many stinkers except for like the Devil's Own and regarding Henry some of them you might not love. But even those have a certain something that Hollywood homicide and firewall.

That's a period, a fallow period. After 2005, it goes to shit. Firewall was during that period, and there were like three other movies where it was just Harrison Ford's family gets kidnapped. And he yells at people over a phone. I mean, I'm not exactly, there were like four movies where it's like, I think it was even a meme. Like, try not to. If you're if you're going to be in a movie, don't be a member of Harrison Ford's family or you will be in danger. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, then also in 1970, same year, this guy, Robert McQueenie, as Frank Gideon in this episode, he got his marriage annulled and became a Roman Catholic priest. Whoa His wife the same year that his wife signs Harrison Ford he Becomes a Catholic priest. I don't know going on there their connection there. I don't know Harrison Ford was dick-whipping him Yeah, I feel like there's other stuff going on that we don't know about. By the way, I do not know what dick-whipping means. It just came out of my mouth.

I heard it for the first time and I weirdly know exactly what it means. Yeah, it's self-explanatory, I suppose. How long were they married before? I thought you only had like 48 hours or something to get an annulment. I don't know. He worked something out. He made a deal with the church, I guess. He says, I need to get this annulled so I can become a priest.

It's unusual. They usually don't want somebody who has been laid. Yeah, dick whipping. They don't want someone who's been dick whipped. Yeah. Exactly. All right. Last one I want to tell you about the character of Morehouse was played by a guy named Joe DeSantis who in addition to being an actor was a sculptor and he is one

of 179 people listed as an influence on Frank Zappa's debut album. What? Yes. Now, no one knows exactly why Joe DeSantis is listed there. However, if you go down a real big rabbit hole like I did, you find out that he used to hang around the studio of another sculptor named Vito Paulikis. Oh!

You know Vito Paulikis? My ex-girlfriend was raised with Vito Paulikis' kids who no shit were named Freakus Paulikis, and his daughter was named Groovy Nipples Polychus. No joke. Uh, you know what? I don't need anything more to know the Frank Zappa connection. He was just like, well, guess what? Get ready, moon unit and please. I can't beat that, but I'm going to try. Vito Polychus was in the Mothers of Adventure, I think.

Yeah. And God, he is credited with coining the term freak for hippies. He's the first one to call hippies freaks and first to call his son freaks. I guess that is right. And he apparently invented the name the word nipple. We didn't have nipple for him. Did not. And they certainly were never groovy before. No, they were not. But he also his best friend was a guy named Captain Fuck.

Vito Paulikis. Wow, that's a tough beat to be wingman for Captain Fuck. Oh my God. So that's who. Morehouse. He named his kids Freakus, Polychus and Groovy Nipples, Polychus, but somewhere out there is a is a mother who signed off on that. Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Uh-huh. What's her deal? We'd like to know more. Last thing I want to tell you about Joe DeSantis is he was in a made for TV movie called contract on cherry street with Frank Sinatra and, and he played a mobster. Joe did. And Frank Sinatra told him at the time that he should have played the Godfather. Uh, and I, I went and watched a scene from that and I think maybe he was being sarcastic. and watched a scene from that, and I think maybe he was being sarcastic.

All laugh. Some things just take too long. A meeting that could have been an email, someone explaining crypto, or switching mobile providers. Except with Fizz. Switching to Fizz is quick and easy. Mobile plans start at $17 a month.

Certain conditions apply. Details at fizz.ca. If you're anything like us, you love attention. And my favorite way to get all eyes on me is with next level shiny glossy hair. Which is why we're so excited to tell y'all about the new LaMelaure gloss collection from the girlies at Tresemme. And gigglers, we've got you too, because Tresemme partnered with us to bring you 1-800-GLOSS, a special bonus episode of Giggly Squad, where Hannah and I give advice on all things hair and giving gloss. Check out the episode and grab the LaMeller gloss collection

today because I'm officially declaring this spring gloss season. All right, let's get to this episode. You're ready to talk about this goddamn episode. It begins, starts with a frog. A cane toad. A frog that really knows how to stay on camera for as long as it possibly can. I don't know if you noticed this. That frog, you know, it hops away.

It stays in frame for longer than it needs to. Wow. Yeah, he knows. He hits his marks. I also thought that frog might have had a human voice. I think that might have been a human voice going brr up, brr up. Yeah, it was Lionel's standard. Yeah.

For all of the 71 year old listeners that reference. Paul Fries, maybe. Paul Fries. He's always on hand. This is one of those episodes that starts out as dark as can be. It's five hooded men wrangle a man out from his dining room table and string him up on the back of a horse and hang him to death. And then when his wife goes to run for help, they shoot her in the back. It is a weirdly grim opening, especially the way the wife is shot. But in the background, you see the husband is being strung up.

It is like an early indication of how Altman would have a lot of business going on in the background. Just a lot of motion. And it's very disturbing and violent, especially for an episode of Bonanza. You don't expect it. Yeah, you know, it's juxtaposed by some of the most beautiful technicolor very rich blues it's all on a set but it's gorgeous to look at and it reminds you of watching like a golden age musical or something but still they're stringing a fella up and killing him and his

lady. I feel sorry for the frog had to see that. But also who rides along and takes a look at it is uh Morehouse okay and he's he's there just in time to see a wood board with the words cattle thieves beware uh hammered onto a tree and they spelled thieves right which I was impressed by because there ain't no spell check on a wooden board. And I love the little bit of the two lowercase t's and the word cattle. It kind of gives it a little tweeze feeling to it. It's like did Wes Anderson make this sign? This is nice. I like that. It was. It's a good design.

Well now we have a horse and cameo, this, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a out and and then he asked he says you reckon I can kiss you tender like I'm gonna say that from now on to my woman tender back specify the kiss is gonna be tender like and and then he gives her a little peck on the cheek and he's so happy he cocks his head his hat to the side like these all what a night I'm having you got a little action yep then he walks home at night and he stumbles upon the lynch mob we just saw. And he sees one fella in particular and he goes, Jim. Now as we're gonna learn, this is another one of those times on Bonanza where a main character has a best friend that we've never heard of or seen before.

But Jim Jim Applegate is Hoss's best friend. In fact, Jim says at some point he says if between you and cameo, you're the the two best people by best friends in the world. I would love to know at the end of this 431 episode run, which of them has the most best friends and is it in the hundreds? Oh, I feel like yeah. Wow. That'd be a good thing to count up. Yeah, we need to get a spreadsheet going. So, uh, all right. He's now seeing his best friend and then he stumbles upon also too, doesn't he stumble upon the dead woman and the hanging man. And there, so he knows, he knows what's going on. Then

the lynch mob, there's a lynch mob, right? Oh no, yeah, the lynch mob encounters Morehouse with Sheriff Roy. And that's when we learned that the hanged man was Morehouse's brother and there's a shootout and two men get away, right? Okay, now we're back at the ranch house. Ben and Adam, I guess they were awake

into the middle of the night to hear about these developments because their shirts are unbuttoned down to their navels. The two of them, yeah. And Paul does not approve of this vigilante pack. He says it's, and Has admits that he saw his friend Jim with the pack and there's oh my god but he can't believe his dear friend Jim would have been mixed up with the vigilantes. Right but but but but

Cartwright was invited to be in the vigilante mob he says they sent him a letter and invited him along and he turned them down. He did he says I'd rather see every living thing on the Ponderosa get stolen than to string up one man. I don't like that. It was nice of them to write a letter though. It was, yeah. That's true.

They rarely used a mail, so it's nice that they sent a card. Yeah. That is nice. It's nice to keep it formal when you're putting together a pack of murderers. Well, so now, Hoss, the next day, It's nice. That's keep it formal when you're putting together a pack of murderers Well, so now Hoss the next day he's gonna ride into town He's fixing to tell the sheriff I saw Jim but he stops in on cameo first and who's there calling on cameo at the? Just exact same time but old Jim Applegate

It I mean of all the complications Hoss and Jim Applegate are both trying to woo and court cameo same woman. So this is talk about an awkward sit down, the three of them in her living room, and old Jim is giggling away like a fool. And that's when Sheriff Roy shows up to place Jim Applegate under arrest for being a part of this mob that hanged a man And shot a woman in the back. Oh Lord. All right. Now, maybe I'll try to pick up the pace a little bit here

It's like I'm watching it again Yeah, okay So Jim is in jail and now his cellmate, not cellmate, but the guy in the next cell over is a fellow by the name of Frank Gideon and Frank says, I was in the mob that did all those terrible things and so was Jim and he was there too and is this when Jim starts to talk about how he's a, is this, I don't, no it's later, but it doesn't matter, because what Frank says to Jim is he says, oh, oh, Jim is real good at stealing women. He's got a way with women.

They take one look at him and they don't want anything but him for the rest of their lives. Okay, this is the first time I've bumped up against something in the episode, because I'm not saying that The actor who plays jim affleck is ugly, but he does have this weird haunted baggy-eyed dark Look and the other guy is so Ridonculously handsome like like broadway cartoonishly handsome. It's just weird It's it's almost like if you cast like Brad Pitt as a guy going, this dude, the ladies just flock to him and it's Paul Giamatti.

Like, wait, what? The visual doesn't quite match up. Yeah, I had an issue with that too. And then it, but then it turns out that Jim stole Frank's wife, but that's not even what Frank is talking about. He forgot, he seems like he forgot that Jim even stole his wife. There's another gal. Yeah.

Yeah. He's like, I'm talking about the earlier one. That's the one that really burns me. Okay. So now you tuck that away in your head as a viewer. You say, oh, who what the, who was earlier than his wife that was stolen and how why does that burn him up so much worse well now jim and frank escape and all kinds of things happen and it's hard to know which ones to tell you about because some of them aren't important

but uh so this this this is very much even though it Bonanza, very much has the mechanics of a stage play. It's just all about Hoss wrestling with his honor, and also Cameo is wrestling with, but I love this fugitive, and even though Hoss is a nice guy, but I just don't feel for him. So it's very, very just talky. It's just people talking about their relationships.

It's very weird for a Bonanza episode. That's true. And it is complicated because Hoss, Hoss has this piece of information. He's a witness against J.M. Applegate, but he doesn't want to tell the sheriff, I saw Jim, unless he's sure in his mind that he's not just doing it to get his competition

for cameo out of the way. Very complex. But then there's that thing of like, I don't want it to look like I'm trying to get my competition out of the way. Very complex. But then there's that thing of like, I don't want it to look like I'm trying to get my competition out of the way. Like that would also look bad just beyond how I feel about it. It's a very, but then luckily at the end it gets, then it much like the way it begins, it ends crazy super violently. Out of nowhere. Out of nowhere. That's true. But this time that the frog is smart enough to get clear of it. you don't see the frog.

okay so now things sort of culminate in a stable where cameo and jim are canoodling in the stable and hoss rides in and he says i gotta take you in you do your fair trial and so on and so forth. And Cameo doesn't think it's right. And Cameo pulls a rifle on Haas and says, let Jim go. And then Jim and Cameo are camping out there on the run

when who should stumble upon them? Improbably enough, but Sheriff Roy. No, it's not Sheriff Roy. He ain't there. It's Morehouse. Yeah. So now they are going to hang him from the same tree that Morehouse's brother was hung from is what they're going to do. Okay. And now Cameo runs for help. It is a tangled but weirdly convenient web they weave in this episode. Yeah. Cameo says I'm gonna run to the sheriff for help and Morehouse says oh yeah he'll get here just in time to cut his dead body down from the tree and then she goes and persuades

Hoss to come back and help and I mean I do have to wonder what took them so long because they get back in time to see uh Jim Applegate on the back of that horse with a noose around his neck but they had more than enough they could have hung him ten times. Yeah I don't know what was going on there maybe there was a lot of just talking or more maybe they had all this other stuff to work out but we don't even see. Yeah maybe maybe they did hold a trial of some sort. Maybe it was a perfectly fair trial. Cause I do think- Odd that they'd leave that out. Yeah.

Jim does seem guilty though. I think a fair trial might've ended up with the same result. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, along comes Hoss. Hoss single-handedly disarms the whole lynch mob. But he wasn't counting on that Morehouse could just say, hee-yah, and the horse would take off, and Jim would end up dangling from the end of that rope.

This is when he's holding him up, and six men can't get him away, but the hanging man who's dying from his last breath gives him one little nudge, and Hoss is put to the ground. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's right. Hoss runs in to sort of hold him and that that's just half a plan at best. You got a man. I will say though that's some of the most well done tension I've ever seen on this show this far. Yeah.

That was a pretty cool little moment of trying to hold a fella up so he doesn't choke to death while people are beating on you. That's pretty cool. Yeah. You're right about that. It's a good episode. He shoots the other guy almost as an afterthought, like the guy, they knock Haas aside and then

the sheriff's like, oh, that's right, there's a gun on the ground, and picks it up and just literally shoots the guy. He's not diving for the gun and rolling. He's like, oh, that's right, I could just oh I know well that's when Frank yeah Frank shows up into this melee comes Frank Gideon and he fires a shot and this is when Frank Gideon reveals that the Jim Applegate the man hanging from a noose right now and being propped up by a horse is in fact his little brother, about four or five years younger than him.

And the first woman that Jim ever stole from Frank was their mother. They should have just swapped roles because the other guy looks older. I thought that too. Not just as pretty, but you know. I thought that too. Very weird. I wonder, it feels like it might have been a casting snafu. The casting director just mixed up the names of the characters.

Nobody questioned it. They'd already put them through wardrobe. We hemmed everything. I don't have time. There's no way these costumes are interchangeable. Yeah. A Western rogue. Yeah, but so that's pretty gross. He says, you know, you stole mother away from me.

And he tells a story that mother, he was trying to sneak in the window. It sounds like literally what happened was the mother had a second child and then literally kicked the older child out of the house, said, get out the house. She locked me out of the house, said, get out the house. She locked me out of the house. I would try to get it, and I would stand under the window and listen to you singing to her. It was very creepy. Buddy, isn't your beef with your mom

and not your little brother? Yeah, it wasn't his fault. He even, and then when you do the math back and you think, oh, he was talking about their mother in the earlier scene, it gets even weirder because he accuses, he was talking about their mother in the earlier scene, it gets even weirder because he accuses it. He says, you're just a love them and leave them type, aren't you?

You didn't care about her at all. It's like, what happened there? This is exactly the plot of Spectre, the James Bond movie. It is. It kind of is. Yeah, yeah. Really? Christoph Waltz, who's revealed to be Blofeld, is Bond's older adoptive brother.

Although Bond's the adoptee. But the father kind of likes Bond better, because it turns out Blofeld was always a prick or something. And he gets kicked out of the cuckoo's nest. He's real bitter about it. So he's the architect of all his pain. And then they retconned every prior Daniel Craig movie into being in sort of instigated by Blofeld. It was good that the James Bond series literally borrowed a plot point

from the third Austin Powers movie. Literally that is the reveal. And the third is that Dr. Evil is his brother was adopted. Yeah. And they, they literally take it from a freaking... It feels like they said, oh, you're going to lampoon us? We'll lampoon you.

How about that? You like that? Yeah, that is just fair. Now here's the other thing, my problem with this episode, just overall, and again, there's nothing against Dan Blocker, but the rival, the rival, there's no way Haas and Cameo, Haas is again, he is this giant, Cameo is this wisp of a woman, if they ever did get together, it would be like a steam shovel, like, and a pack of rolling papers, like if she's so delicate, he would

just rip her to shreds. It would be Lenny and the Rabbits, I'm sorry. And so she needs a smaller guy to be with. She can't be with Hoss. I mean, when he went in, all he does is kiss her on the cheek and I like gasp, like, oh God, he's gonna kill her. That's how gigantic he is.

I know, and he promised to do it tender like too, but it still, it had an unintentional violent energy to it, right? Watch, look out for that baby bird. And she knows that. She's got enough self-preservation to say, I'd rather be with a man who literally murdered another man, but is of a reasonable size. I will be crushed otherwise.

Yeah, that's true. Poor old Hoss. Hoss, there's also a point in this where they're canoodling in the stable where Hoss overhears Cameo tell Jim that she thought she might've liked Hoss, but no, not really. So now he knows it's a lost cause. Oh, okay. So wait, well, okay.

So what happens in the end there? Franklin reveals the mother thing, and then he shoots Hoss in the arm, and then Jim Applegate kicks Hoss away to save Hoss's life at the expense of his own. It's a classic final moment redemption that ensures that a character's going to go to heaven heaven even though he's done wrong and And then everybody's gathered around and that's when yeah the sheriff I think maybe Frank Gideon was just enraptured by the sight of his brother hanging to death

That the sheriff was able to at a leisurely pace pick up a pistol and shoot him How much nerve damage do the Cartwrights have? Because every third episode, one of them is getting shot. And so they are so full of lead by the time this show ends. They're mostly lead. Their arms and shoulders are just full. They're just lead. Yeah. There was a lot of people getting shot in the shoulders in in 60s and 70s tv. In fact, I think Mannix, if you look at the times he was shot in the shoulder, his arm should have fallen off. It's amazing. His arm. There's no more room to put a bullet in there. Yeah, exactly. There's no bone. There's no muscle. Nothing. It's all gone. It is considered on the shoulder. Yeah,

it's considered to be a fairly sort of a innocuous place to be shot I wonder if that's true. I doubt it you think well I mean you got muscles tendons and bones that if you get shot in the upper arm that affects your lower arm, right? No Okay, I'm wrong. You're it's just nothing in there, but meat. It's just like a it's just like a steak just You're right. It's just nothing in there but meat. It's just like a it's just like a steak. Just It's no big deal put a bullet in there take it out whatever wear a sling for 15 minutes, I mean medically it's it's wet beef jerky That's what's in your shoulder. There you go. That's what the shoulder is. It's a shoulder roast

Well, uh, okay, then that's it, right? Then we have a little scene there with Haas and Cameo and then there's quite a scene between Ben and Haas where Ben- And Haas is going to be haunted. Oh yeah. They do leave it that he's going to be haunted by this. Oh yeah, and you see- I'm sure we'll hear about it next episode.

For the life of the series. Yeah, built in the horses character. And that's it. He loses another love. She rides off to find another bad boy, I suppose. And poor old horse is left there with his dad. And that's this. And you know what? after this we only have 370 episodes left to go this show to talk about. 370! And they have to resolve the horse and cameo thing? They really put a clip to their back. I know they did!

How are they going to resolve it in only 370 episodes? I can't imagine. Well, did you see any directorial alt-many alt-many flares in this episode? We've seen some before. I mean yeah the only thing I saw was the there seemed to be more background action going on especially in that opening scene with being strung up and then there's stuff going on in the foreground. He's starting to learn how to fill the frame with movement.

Oh there was an interesting moment I guess maybe they call it a crane shot He's starting to learn how to fill the frame with movement. Oh. There was an interesting moment, I guess maybe they call it a crane shot, where Hoss is walking to the sheriff's office, and the whole mob steps off together from the saloon steps, and they follow him. And it almost looks like there's going to be a dance number, because they're following him in a pack, and the camera goes up above and films it from above.

And it seems like something's going to happen. Doesn't really, but it is, it is a moment of building tension. Wow. Kind of exciting. Yeah. When did Robert Altman start to do the thing where, where you like, uh, everybody has mic'd and lots of people are talking at the same time. I think that was mash. That was the big leap. I think maybe

there was some during um I don't think the stuff that he did earlier like countdown or you know those are pretty still boilerplate mash was the one where he was like oh okay let's's just fill the whole thing. Yeah, crazy. Well, all right, but he did a fine job on this episode, beautifully written and beautifully acted, and I have no notes on it. Me either. I don't believe. I think it was just about perfect, except I would, I'm not sure about that frogs voiceover. But other than that, I'm happy. All right, well, but I'm not sure about that frogs voiceover, but other than that, I'm happy.

All right. Well, uh, what you got coming on there? Oh, this episode is going to come out in just a few days. Really today's third. They'll come out next Wednesday. It wins. You can go to patent Oswald.com. I am very excited that later in the month of July, I'm at the Lyric theater in

Baltimore, uh, and then I'm up at up at Veterans Auditorium in Providence, Rhode Island. I believe that is July 19th and 20th. You can check my website for all that information. How exciting. All right. We'll head out there to Baltimore. Aren't you? Are you from there? You're not from there. You're from around there. I'm from Northern Virginia, but not all, but I love Baltimore. Yeah. That's the same, same thing. Same thing. Yeah. It is. All right. Anything else? Business there? But, uh, no, just except for that. Danny Dudley is on the Conan O'Brien needs a friend show.

You listen to him. Yeah. I don't, I'm not interested in either of those gentlemen, but I'm interested in one of them. I'll let you guess who. All right folks that's an episode. Now get yop! Bananas for Bananzas brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gordon with The Journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Michikoff and Wade Wright. Bananas for Bananzas mixed and edited by Mark McConville. Executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Gordon. We'll see you around. that could have been an email, someone explaining crypto, or switching mobile providers.

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