Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #65: “The Secret”

Episode Date: August 6, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Dalton and Mutt kick off Oswaltmananzapalooza with their special guest Patton Oswalt, who returns to discuss the Robert Altman directed Season 2, Episode 31, 'The Secret'. What is the secret that the title refers to? That's the best kept secret of all!    Featuring Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 9/10/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Say hello savings and goodbye worries with Freedom Mobile. Get 60 gigs to use in Canada, the U.S. and Mexico for just $39 bucks a month. Plus get a one-time use of five gigs of roam beyond data. Conditions apply, details at freedommobile.ca. This episode is sponsored by the OCS summer pre-roll sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy.

Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because you're, their best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one role that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.C.C.A. and participating retailers. Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses.

Only in theaters, August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things, comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney, A hilarious new comedy filled with drama, excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses.

See The Roses only in theaters, August 29. Oh, Namsa, it's a finest show alive, so consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors, inside takes a ponderosa pride and forever made ride Right I'm Benanas for bananas ready the fuck to go Let's get the fuck going then with a big old

Yeeh! Good morning, son of a bitch. have to do bananas for bonanza this is bananas for bonanza episode 65 in which we will be discussing the 63rd episode of bonanza there's a number in problem but we're solving it today this feels good it feels good we're solving it today i'm gonna go ahead and tell you even though it doesn't matter to you listening to this episode right now here's what's happening there's three episodes left in season two that was directed by robert alt man and we're going to talk about all three of them today but we're only going to talk about one of them in this episode that you're listening to right now.

The next time you tune into it, Bananas for Bonanza, we're going to talk about two of them, but we're recording all three today this morning, in fact. And when Robert Altman comes along and directs an episode of Bonanza, Pat and Oswald is here to talk about it on bananas for bananas. Hello, Paton. Hello, how you doing, Dalton? I'm great. Fantastic being back. I'm so excited.

All three of us, gentlemen, have watched three episodes of you. of Bonanza directed by Robert Altman. Yes, we have. And we're going to try to keep them straight in our heads. That's a bit of the problem is I've watched three and they have run together in my head so as to confuse me, but somehow no more than any single episode of Bonanza. That's kind of true, actually. It might not be a greater mental challenge than the usual.

And again, Altman isn't Altman yet. We're not seeing the Altman flourishes that would make these distinctive. So that's also why they kind of run together. Yes, that's true. Very much doing their style book. I would say that's true. You're giving them a lot of credit for having a style book, friend. I did notice one consistent thing across all three of these episodes.

I wonder if you guys noticed a two. What's that? At some point, in all three of these episodes, a character is seen in the reflection of a mirror. Oh. Huh. So not a vampire. No vampires. He's doing vampire checks on his actors, and that's just responsible.

That is. You know what? Wow. Altman really was an innovator. He was. Yeah. He was. I got to add that to his Wikipedia. Invented on-set vampire checks. And those are risky because the chance you might catch the camera in the shot, too. A lot of directors will say, forget it. I'll take my chances with a possible vampire on the set. A lot of people talk about the expenses of COVID protocol, but vampire protocol in these days, my God. It's outrageous, particularly not even that it needs to be said, but pretty. particularly on a night shoot. On a night shoot.

Yep. And those are expensive enough to begin with. Lord Almighty. All right, folks, what else are I going to tell you? Real quick. I'll just also tell you that Mutt and I are recovering from a wild weekend. Oh, crazy. It was the 65th anniversary of the Bonanza fan convention this weekend.

Oh, boy. It was held online via Zoom. Okay. And I was there for a lot of it. Oh, my Lord. I was there for the tribute. to Hop Singh, which was uncomfortable. Yeah, I would imagine.

Now, I was in a white-hot rage pretty much the whole weekend. Not only was I not asked to run the whole thing and tell everybody what to do. Oh, Lord. I wasn't even asked to participate in any way. Can you believe that? And not only that, but because I was not able to figure out how to unmute my camera and turn on my microphone, I wasn't even allowed to participate and get in there and talk to him. This is yet more Dalton, Wilcox, Eratia.

yeah amongst the um the fan community the so-called fans just so thank you they call themselves fans this is the goddamn only podcast in america about god damn bonanza how you're going to tell me you're going to have a goddamn convention and not have me run it and tell everybody what to do i was mad yeah i can't even imagine do you want to postpone this the next week are you okay i'm going to persevere you're going to push through because that's what they want me they want me to Oh, okay, yeah. They want me to get tired. They're playing all along.

I have asked them officially through not a lawyer, but on a lawyer's looking litterhead. Okay. She'd give me 30% of the profits. There you go. From the fan convention. From the fan convention, which was free to attend. All right, folks.

Huh? But I want 30% of their profits, no less. For the free. Okay. Yeah. All right, folks. We got to get to the business and hanging. We're talking about.

today episode 63 this season two episode 31 called the secret that's what we're talking about today man this was a good one this one had everything in it it had it well it's a frontier legal drama this episode is sometimes they are oh boy it had a woman and she had a ton of dialogue it's the flint locks of matt locks lock the gate there's a whole other woman in this episode who is murdered by Little Joe, or is she? Right, right. I believed it. I said to myself, here, oh, shit, it happened.

Little Joe murdered a woman. Well, they do something, we'll get to it, but they do something that even further makes you think that Little Joe has murdered her, and it's a very weird choice, but we'll get to it. I'm glad you mentioned this plot device because it reminded me which episode we're talking about. Okay, good, yeah, I know, it's hard to keep it straight. I'm going to go ahead and open my slits and see if beer doesn't have. help me.

Okay. I'm like, oh, man. That's the sound of Tuesday morning. Sure. Tuesday morning coming down. If you're doing it right. Yep. There ain't much to talk about the air date of this episode, which was May 6, 1961, because

not too much of change from the last 10th week. Number one movie in the country is still the absent-minded professor. Oh. You know that one? Fred McMurray. Fred McMurray. Yeah. Hey, Vince, do you know what flubber is at Port Mottow?

Hang on. Well, obviously rubber and, oh my gosh. Flux? Flux? You're so flax. Flux. It's a combination of flax seed and rubber. No. Flubber is flying rubber. Oh, my God. Isn't that beautiful? No. It'll fly. You can get a car flying on it. Don't worry by Marty Robbins is the number one country song and runaway by Del Shannon. is the number one song in the country. You know, I often struggle to find a celebrity, a true celebrity, who was born on the day this episode aired. Yet you have managed to every time. Every time I have. And this time in particular,

Dutch House of Representatives member Franz Timmermans. Oh, my gosh. Born the day this episode aired, you believe that? Senior or junior? Yeah. Oh, junior, yeah, he's still in. He was almost a prime minister, but he got taken out by Dick Schoof.

Dick Schoof took it. Schoof. He got shoved He got shoved Classic shoof You know what I say Shoof fly Don't bother

No that didn't work No that should have been If that had been Franz Timmerman's campaign slogan Yeah Shoofly don't bother Dutchland I'm sure

It translates Just perfectly Yeah I know To Dutch Oh they have their own language Over there Do they ever What country is it

If you're Dutch Holland Yeah Why Wait Is that Denmark No that's why do we call them something that's so different from the name of their country

why don't they get their shit together is there a country there's an it's an area called the netherlands right that's yeah in the netherlands aren't there countries or i'm so yeah it's tough to know wait in finland holland is holland a country yes oh god and aren't the dutch from holland and they play soccer in orange i don't know let me look i know the dutch and the swedes don't like each other is that right weirdly they do not like Really? Yeah. If you watch a, there's a great Lars von Treer series called The Kingdom that really goes into how much they all hate each. Really? They should take up common cause against the Scandinavians. Or maybe they are all Scandinavian. Okay, who knows? Dutch is used as the

adjective for the Netherlands as well as the demonem. So what's Holland? That's just Holland. Holland is in the thing. If you live in Holland, what are you? You're not hollish. Well, you ought to be. Are you Holland days? yeah all the better they should be netherish and hollandays hollandays exactly

because there ain't no place called dutchland okay now holland is in the netherlands you're right oh it's a it's a geographical region and former province

on the western coast of the netherlands Jesus Christ okay in some languages Holland is used as the formal name for the netherlands so everybody wins in this one

this ridiculous they need to Get it together. You know where you never get confused about anything where anything is? America. That's right. Just take South and North America alone and Central. Exactly.

As far as I know, North is north of the South America, right? In America, Kansas is Kansas and Arkansas. Never mind. Yep. Kansas City is right there in Kansas where it belongs and in Oklahoma. American is this shirt, which is a Japanese plastic model company. There you go. Okay, good. Red, white, and blue.

That's all I care about. Oh, also born on this day was George Clooney. Okay, so. Who? Huh? Who? George Clooney, the actor. He's a personality.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I never came close. He's no Dutch politician. No. Jesus. Some fun facts.

All right. This one was directed, as we know, by Robert Altman. Mm-hmm. And it was written by John Hawkins, who wrote a ton of bananases. Betty Mae Wood is portrayed by Patricia Mishon. This is the hardest time I've ever had finding any information about a person. Because we think her birth name was probably something, but it could have been some other things. If she's, it's possible she'd turned 100 last week or that she's been dead for a long time.

What? This episode is sponsored by the OCS summer pre-roll sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, Things can turn out a little differently than what you expect it. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground.

There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one role that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.orgia and participating retailers. Say hello savings and goodbye worries with Freedom Mobile. Get 60 gigs to use in Canada, the U.S. and Mexico for just $39 bucks a month.

Plus get a one-time use of five gigs of roam beyond data. Conditions apply, details at freedommobile.com. There's no information because there's three different possible birth names listed for her in different places and different birth dates. Here's what I think we can say about her. She's beautiful. She is. She had a big part in the movie, I Passed for White. What?

Oh, dear. in 1960. So, and this is actually her second bananza. Was she the titular white passer? Yeah. Was she the, oh. That was a woman named Sonia Wilde, who's little picture on, on IMDB, has her in an Indian headdress. So she's very versatile.

But I passed for White was the second film score composed by John Williams. What? And the first one, hang on, is a drag strip movie. and it's called Daddy-O. That was just... Yes, it is. With, yeah, I remember that because the MST-3K did that one.

They're like, wait a minute. Is this a John Williams score for me? So that'll make you want to see I pass for White if nothing else will. She also was in a movie called Punchy Poncho in which she played the fiery seorita. She had great career. Sure that movie was handled with grace, subtlety

and respect for, Our Latino friends. No doubt. Her last two credits were in BBC production, so perhaps she moved to England. Oh, yeah, and they don't keep records. Yeah, yeah. No, they do not. Maybe they don't do obituaries when somebody dies in England.

Yeah, they don't want to be haunted. Oh, maybe that's it. That's a very haunted country. So if no one dies, no ghosts. Yeah, otherwise you end up on a ghost tour. You know? I mean, man, oh man, the number of ghosts. on Ghost Tours in England.

Fuck it. Jerome Bell was played by Stephen Joyce, right? Jerome Bell, the young lawyer. That's right. A villain in this episode. Oh, yeah. He played Romeo in the very first production of Shakespeare in the park. What?

Yeah. The New York Shakespeare. That's right. 1950s. Fantastic. He looks from earlier to me. I can't figure it. Yeah, the face was a very sharp charactery face.

I feel like he's been in a lot of stuff. Well, he was on a cojack. Okay. That must be it. He was on a Miami Vice. What? Yeah. Wow.

He's been around. He's been around. He did a ton, a ton, a ton of Broadway. Oh. His last Broadway show was a cane mutiny, which also starred Michael Moriarty and Joe Namath. What year was that? What? 1983.

Not long after Joe Namath was playing football. Yeah. And who? Sorry, I'm going to leave that alone. Mariarty was Quig. I hope he was Quig. I hope he was Quig. I hope.

Stephen Joyce was the judge. First mate was played by a bottle of brute Cologne. And the courtroom was played by Rosie Greer. It all took place inside Rosie Greer. And Joe Namath had the not insignificant role of the guy who overthrew Quig and is there for him. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. Directed by Tom Landry of Dallas Cowboys.

Quig, I just want to kiss you. I just want to kiss you, Quig. Oh, boy. I just want to give you a kiss. If I could go back in time, I would see that. I would. So forget saving Lincoln or killing Hitler. It's Nameth in the game community.

That's the we, that's why we, that's why if, listen, if Elon Musk starts working on time travel technology just to do that, I'm, I'm his family. on board. Let Hitler live. Give me name it. Stephen Joyce was also in Blood Fist 8. Did you know they went all the way to 8 on the blood fists? There were 8 of them? That's not just like the hateful 8.

It's the 8th movie in the series. Roman numeral 8. Right. Blood fist 8. Butterfield 8. Blood fist 8. Yep. Hateful 8.

Jesus. He was also on a show in the 50s called Camera 3. And I had to know, why did they call it Camera 3? And the reason is a network executive asked a producer, how many cameras are you using? And the producer said three. And the network executive said, oh, camera three. That'd be a great title.

Who thought that? Yeah. Anyway. TV was easier back then. I guess so. Jake Parsons was played by Cran Denton, who you recognize mostly as Mr. Cunningham and DeKillamockingbird. Do you remember the scene?

A bunch of guys are going to lynch. A lynch mob comes together. Blue Radley. Yeah, I guess that's right. and old scout is there and she recognizes one of the leader of the lynch mob she's mr cunningham mr cunningham is that you mr cunningham what and he starts asking him how's your boy is he still and shames him yeah shames him into disbanding the lynch mob oh boy there was him he also did do all the great tv shows harbor master treasury men in action he's busy man he ever show up on camera three

he ever show up on camera three i know i'm afraid not He starred as Abraham Lincoln in a pilot for a show that didn't get picked up. And that's all the information I have on. Not a title. Not a title. Was it a half hour? Was it an hour? That's what I want to know.

I'd love to see a sitcom all about the wacky life of Abraham Lincoln. Oh, man. That'd be really fun. Wouldn't that be good? Yeah. All right. Then we had Morgan Woodward played deputy sheriff Rick Connolly in this episode. He's the guy.

We talked about him once before. He's the guy whose brother Lee was a much loved weatherman in Tulsa who had a puppet named King Lionel. I'm prepared to show you a little King Lionel if you... I'm in such a weird business. It is strange, isn't it? I'm going to go ahead. I could not love it more.

It's wonderful. I'm going to go ahead and get up some King Lionel here. I can't get Joe Namath and the Cane Mutiny out of my head. I will, not only can I not get that out of my head. I know, I just realize I probably won't. Like, if I go, if I go to, next time I go to New York, you can go to Lincoln Center. They have, like, film of every... No.

Yeah, they film every play And you can go in there It's like a library and go I'd like to watch like I want to see Robert Duvall And wait until dark I want to see So that

Yes, I will be looking for Nameth in K. Mutiny, please And I'd like to have this cute Another one, huh? They'd probably look that up under Namath To get to it faster Than Kane Mutiny I would reckon

Here's a little bit of King Lionel Oh my God, you weren't kidding I'm not kidding Look at this What's it? There's Joe Namath and Michael Moriarty. Are you kidding me? Wow.

Wow. He looks great. You'll understand right away why everybody loved King Lionel. It's such a funny, funny voice. Oh, look at that. He looks just like Prince John from the Disney Robin. Yeah. But that's, this is before that.

Oh, yeah, I guess. Here we go. You have to bust the King's treasury for something like that. Yeah, that's your highness. I tell you, I couldn't even accord to rudder on this. They don't have a rudder. No, sir, it's a. You got a killer. Nice boat.

I get in today and took a little spin, but it's too fast for me. I don't understand how you control that bad. Talk a bass is going to catch that boat going six. Only if it's a big. Wow. Fun line. Wow. I love that he's doing a puppet, but he's doing the puppet is the most, well, you know, I got a, like, it's the most downbeat, not fun.

Like kids, it's like, it's like kids watching this puppet. It's like, is he a deviant? divorced dad like what is what is what is what his energy he seems really tired and also i love the other two anchors clearly going along with it under protest like when he brings the lion puppet i asked the puppet questions so would you have to break into the king's treasury to buy something like that lionel and the puppet acts like why you bother me well well because the guy dragged you out yeah the Puppet's attitude is, oh, I've got to talk to these two guys. I'm a serious goddamn broadcaster.

Humans? Fucking humans. God, I love the dynamic and energy of that news broadcast. It's incredible. Brilliant. Yep. Oh, my God. That's Tulsa, folks.

All right. Hey, kids, thanks for tuning in to King Lionel. Listen, I'm just going to show a film today. I'm not feeling all that good. This is, uh, what is this? Something called the Parallax View. I guess it's okay. I don't know.

All right, good luck. Have fun. Got some bad news from the doctor on Friday. You stick around. We'll do the whole Paranoia Trilogy. You're going to fucking love clute, kids. All right. Sorry.

All right. I think that's all the fun facts we need. We can get into this episode here. Why not? All right. You ready to recap this episode? Oh, yes. Here we go.

This episode, I like the way this episode begins. There's an old man on horseback. Yep. And he's riding it. He sees Little Joe and Mary riding along in a buggy. Uh-huh. And he waves to him. He says, hey, little Joe, hey, Mary.

And they just completely ignore him. Don't say anything. Nothing at all. And he rides away like, oh, well, I guess nobody likes me. And that's the end of that man's story, we think. And then we see Little Joe. And it's definitely Little Joe. There's no question just Little Joe.

Yeah. Even though... This episode is sponsored by the OCS summer pre-roll sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong.

But there's one roll that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll. pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.ca and participating retailers. Searchlight Pictures presents The Roses, only in theaters August 29. From the director of Meet the Parents and the writer of Poor Things comes The Roses. Starring Academy Award winner Olivia Coleman, Academy Award nominee Benedict Cumberbatch, Andy Sandberg, Kate McKinnon, and Allison Janney, a hilarious new comedy filled with drama,

excitement, and a little bit of hatred, proving that marriage isn't always a bed of roses. See The Roses only in theaters August 29 We don't see his face Robert Alton goes out of his way Not to show us his face But it's got to be a little joke It has to be

And he brings this woman up I don't know why she agreed to go to the top Of the very dangerous rock Yeah And then he pushes her off to her death Pregnant as she is Yeah Well don't

No spoilers No spoilers We learned that later Yeah She is pushed off that rock to her death Yeah And that's, is that the end of the cold open? Well, it's weird because then they cut to the carriage with the horse sitting there.

And then you hear the scream when the horse goes, like, whoa. So the horse reacts to the murder off screen. Oh, right. There's a horse take. He does a horse take for the murder, which I was like, there you go. There you go, Robert. That is that is efficiency, my friend. The horse is outraged.

Yeah. All right. Now we're at, they burn a map. They burn the Ponderosa map for the 60th third time. Now, we're at the. ranch house. Oh, boy. Jake shows up at the ranch house and he gets a hearty greeting from Ben.

Oh, yeah. And then this is a funny scene where Ben, he just thinks this is a social call from his old friend, Jake. He's going to serve him some tea. A very fancy little, delicate little tea set. He's got to get a nice little. I notice that. And they don't need a woman's touch at the Ponderosa.

Some people say they can use a woman. They've got a very fancy little tea set there. But now, Jake seems to have a very definite purpose. for his visit. And Ben is not picking up on it. And Ben just keeps saying, uh-huh, mm-hmm, uh-huh. Where does Jake is driving towards something? It's a real intention in this scene.

And what he's driving toward is he is under the impression that little Joe has took off and eloped with his daughter, Mary. Yeah. Who we just saw get pushed off a rock by little Joe. By little Joe. Presumably. Yeah. And his reason is that she said this morning, she said, I'm going on a picnic with little

Joe I'll see you later and she never came back and so he said well clearly they have gone and eloped yeah it's the only explanation that could occur to this man right and but the way okay here's what threw me for a little bit I mean I understand why he did it but the way that uh pa oh my god why am I blanking on Lauren Franks right Ben Cartwright his he reacts when he's like have you seen little Joe he's like uh no no I like he's acting really weird like did little joe not only murder this girl but then come back and tell his pa that he murdered her and now he's like been covering it it knows a little something about that it just feels very weird like oh yeah my son the the frontier serial killer

i got a cover for him again i know that it's more about he's nervous but the way it plays it plays like oh the murder happened yeah i've been told i'm covering for my son right it comes off very weird. Also, the very fact that he, that he, he is so mad at the idea that Joe's word could ever be doubted. That just seems like you're protesting too much. Exactly. You know what I mean? Yeah. Love a cartwright fall from, from a rock, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so now, who should show up? Just perfect timing, but little Joe himself, little Joe's been, he's been chasing a horse around the, their vast property, apparently. He's been trying to catch a horse. a stray horse. That's his alibi. Just ask the horse. I was chasing him all day, all by myself.

And Jake Parson will not take anything. He will not allow any information in. He just says, you eloped with my daughter, at least be man enough to admit it. Again, a weird way to come into a house right through the door. Hey, you'll open my daughter. No, I said it. It's true. Quit lying. I know it's true. Well, now Jake's boys ride up. These are Jake's sons, and they have found their sister's body at the bottom of Indian Leap. Which there's a very, that could mean a lot of dark shit. It could, couldn't it? It's the one you're thinking.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a rock that if you fall off, you don't survive, and they call it Indian Leap. And also it implies that maybe the Indians that leaped off did not do that under their own recognizance. I think so. Yeah. It's a very creepy thing. It's a euphemistic.

It's very, yeah. Murder spot. Immediately thought of mid-Somar. How can we murder a minority but also kind of blame it on them? That's right. All right. So this is where they kill people and she's been killed there. And the buggy was there.

What else? Okay. Well, that's it. Now they feel quite sure the little Joe done this. And so Ben and little Joe go into town and they talk to a lawyer. this is one of many episodes where it's even worse in another episode

we're going to discuss today but it takes 36 hours to get to Virginia City from Hondurasia. Holy shit. Melwell. Is that sleep included or is that just straight travel?

Oh, a straight travel I think. So really you're looking for four or five days. Yeah. Jesus. A long day. I'd just well go straight to Virginia. Yeah. Uh-huh.

Right. but okay there's an engaged couple the lawyer's daughter betty may is engaged to be married to this fellow jerome who's extremely ambitious and excited about meeting the governor today right we learn about that and then we learn that the lawyer is not very concerned about little joe being accused of murder and marry because it doesn't seem to be any witnesses and it's one man's word against another right all right that's what we learned in that saying yep and then check ben and joe go and give a statement to the sheriff explaining their whereabouts and what nots. Okay.

And then, oh, that's when we learn from the coroner. Now, I guess this was a time when you truly did not use the word pregnant on television. You did not. But the way he, I'll let you do it, but the way he reveals that she was pregnant, the dialogue is, here, let's reenact it. All right. He'll go, this woman, Mary, she wouldn't married, was she? No, but

She should have been He says with meaning She should have been Considering what I just found In her body Type of thing that should only occur With in a marriage Is I just realizing the parallels

To the Scott and Lacey Peterson Oh wait a minute now Scott and Lacey Peterson Do you think that they saw this episode of Bonanza and ripped it off When was Scott Peterson for him? the day he was born. By the way, this episode is structured exactly like an episode of Law and Order,

where you start with the cold open, someone witnesses, like we see the murder happening, that guy that really doesn't come back. Then we have the arrest part and then we have the trial part. You're right. It's basically a Law and Order episode. Dick Wolf, we're calling you out. He stole Bonanza's format, asshole. Well, now, okay, we see.

See, the same old man from earlier in the episode who got denied on his hello, and it happens again. I know that that really landed, yeah, people just not listening to this poor guy. This poor man, Ben and Joe are riding out from the sheriff's office and the same man walks. He says, hi, Ben, hi, hi, Joe. They just go right on and don't say hi. But that's when he saddles up to the deputy. Oh, right. The sheriff, for some reason, Sheriff Roy Coff, is not intact.

this week and he's been and they say he's handling some case in Sanford they mentioned some case I'm like is that another episode or it felt they say it very pointedly but I guess it was just to get him out of the episode or I think so because I think what they realized was that they needed a better actor to do this oh I thought maybe he was doing another show but you're probably right because this guy this is a heavy lifting for this deputy yeah yeah and he also had played a deputy on the Life and Legend of Wider for a couple years. So maybe there's a little bit of a like the audience would know that. I don't know.

But anyways, the old man goes up to the deputy and the inquest coroner man and says, oh, yeah, I saw Little Joe with Mary. I'm a witness to Little Joe murdering Mary. And that's a huge deal. Now, now we've got some fucking trouble. Yeah. And so the deputy says, all right, old man, you got to come with. me out to the Ponderosa, because I guess the way it should still work this way today.

If you want to arrest somebody, you need to bring with you the witness who's accusing them 36 hours. 36 hour, a horse ride. And tell them to their face what you saw. And then you can arrest them. That witness has to do that. That's what happens in this episode. Why didn't the father originally, why did he jump to that they had eloped? She could have just been called as a witness in another town. That's true. She's only been gone a few hours. Yeah.

Yeah. We don't know. This picnic could have been three days away. Exactly. Well, so now, where's there? We're at the deputy. And, yeah, okay, there's an arrest occurring, but one of Parsons boys is going to take law into his own hands.

He says, I'm going to have me an eye for an eye. And he wants to shoot little Joe for killing his sister. Right. Right. and then there's some very abrupt action there and there's a real who shot who situation. In a very tight space. Yeah.

Like basically in a vestibule there's a shootout, but no one dies. Right. Which is pretty impressive. It is impressive. Yeah, yeah. I guess what happened was Joe Dove for the deputy's gun because he had been disarmed and I guess we learned later that it was Ben who shot Pete Parson. In the shoulder?

Just in the, oh, he's fine. He didn't even react to it. Oh, okay. He just, uh, it, it just neutralized him in a way that he was like, yeah, exactly. What the, me? I can get carried out my plan to killing your son. But it didn't hurt.

No. It didn't hurt to get shot in those days. It was bitter times. Did not. Also, off screen, you don't see it happen, but, um, Haas is shot four times with a shotgun. But that doesn't affect him so they don't really bring it up. It's not really part of the story. No, exactly.

All right. What else we've got to here? Jerome and Betty have. come back from a reception with the governor. That's a whole other side story. Exactly. The governor's in town. He met the governor.

And Jerome, oh, Jerome. All right. So now Jerome is a lawyer. And he works for the law firm that's representing Little Joe in this accusation. And Jerome says, well, here's what we do. I know what we do. We say, yes, of course, he pushed her off the rock at Indian leap. Everybody knows.

Joe did that. But he did it because she's a slut. that's his plan yeah i think so yeah yeah he says go well girl with her reputation who wouldn't push her off a rock that's his strategy and he really likes that strategy and no one really reacts to it either no everybody's just like viable legal strategy at this time let's keep that hip pocketed that's not bad yeah maybe this is another one thank you for showing restraint by only killing her very decent of you sir yeah yeah if it comes to it we'll use your strategy room thank you very much for your input yeah then we got there's a showdown at the sheriff's office

and oh doesn't at one point little joe say something about what he saw when he was riding out there like are they going to testify on my behalf like he mentions like a cactus and a couple of animals like what are they going to testify for me or something like that which at this point i'm like maybe they should i i don't know he's the snow wide of the ponderosa just communes with little Wonderland creatures. Paul, you've got to get that cactus and bring it into the inquest. Oh, there's another creepy moment where Ben says to Little Cho, like, you know, she was pregnant.

He was like, I was never alone with her. Right. Which was like this, like, oh, I tried, but no, I never had the opportunity. Yeah. All the times I tried to get along with that girl. Never happened. Well, so now they have the idea to do a reenactment. Oh, boy.

of the moment that Little Joe and Mary were spotted by John the witness. And to do the reenactment, they require the cooperation of the Parson family because they need their buggy. It was the Parson family buggy. Oh, that's right. So they have to get sign off on that. And so the reenactment occurs, and it is established that John could not have seen Little Joe's face. Something he would have known you prior to that. Right, exactly.

It could have just offered up. Wouldn't he have also said? never saw the guy's face. Didn't take a reenactant to do it. No. Yeah. But he's like, I was sure it was a little Joe because his painted pony was being towed along by the car by the buggy.

And not only that, I saw his leg and he had a holster strapped to his left leg, meaning he's a left-handed gunman. Right. That's little Joe, painted pony, left-handed gunman. That's right. That's little Joe. Now there's a moment where Ben says, it's a little while later some other bullshit. happens. But Ben says, he goes, here's what we do. Why don't we see if anybody else in town

has a painted pony and a left-handed holster? He goes, why didn't we think of this before? And I thought, because then it wouldn't have been a 49-minute episode. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, we need to have a lot of trips back and forth between here in the Ponderosa. Really fill that time out. Yeah, you can't come up with everything right away. We've got time to kill. So, Betty, oh, oh, yeah, I forgot about Betty. That's what happened. Oh, Betty. She's concerned that Jerome only likes her because her father is a successful lawyer.

And she's absolutely right. Yep. And he's trying to kiss on her all the time. And she's like, she's not, she's just not that into him. No, she is just not that into him. Yeah. Yeah. And then you get, Ben is abducted by the Parsons.

I don't know if I skipped anything important. But then Betty drops in on her father. and she says, oh, this was my, oh, I enjoyed this. She says to her father, she says, Dad, I know I'm not the prettiest girl in town. And I'm five years past when all my other friends got married. So the script, I think, might have called for a homely gal. Right.

They did not find one. No, they didn't. No, she's gorgeous. I don't know what it's going on. Absolutely gorgeous. Except, you know what? Maybe she wasn't blonde. I think in.

Yes. Yeah, she's a dog. Yeah That's what it was I think that's true If we're supposed to think Somebody's attractive On this show

They better be blonde They better be blonde Yeah Color of the gal that got killed Oh Was she blonde? I couldn't I can't remember

I can't even Oh she was blonde Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah That's right Okay

So this poor guy Is stuck with Brunette Swamp creature of a daughter Never be able to marry her No one wants to touch her Oh here comes The trogladite

Oh damn the things I do for love. Exactly. So she's homely and will never get a husband, but this guy's paying all this attention to her, and she's wondering, is it because my father's a successful lawyer? Meanwhile, she's never done a vampire check on herself and noticed that she happens to be a gorgeous lady.

Well, now she drops in on Jerome in his hotel room. This is one of the times. There's a broken mirror, and there's a scene between the two of them and the reflection of this broken mirror. It's quite nice. and Jerome indeed is living like a like a slob he's a slimy man and not only that but he's got a photograph of the dead girl Mary on his mirror and that's where Betty does more talking than a woman's ever done on this show yeah because she's fucking figured it out I think she's maybe she's allowed to be pretty smart because how incredible ugly she is yeah wear a veil lady come on hide your face behind a book she does every time she did that that she would get a little knowledge.

That's what it was. Which got her smarter and therefore less attractive. Yes, exactly. It's a vicious circle. She pulls something here that I would never advise and I often see people do and that is once you figured out someone's a murderer, you tell them, I'm going to go tell on you. Yeah, maybe keep that to yourself. Yes, particularly since you know they're capable of murder.

Right. This exact kind of murder. It's a bad idea. It happens on the show a lot. Well, now I know you're murdered, and I'm going to turn you in, and your life is going to be ruined. They're even on a second story, and as we see later, it goes for the same thing. You push this girl off a rock, and now that you're in my second story room with the balcony, I'd like to tell you that I know you did that. Yeah.

And what are you going to do about it? Well, we just happened to be staying at the Ugly Girl Leap Hotel. So the only way you can stop me would be to kill me. well and sure enough he goes for her and she deludes him somehow and runs out the door and then we have a bad chase scene this is a poorly shot chasing it was comically bad because she runs down the hall and turns right he runs down the hall after her and turns right yeah it's so soon after that she couldn't have got more than five feet in the rightward direction yeah and yet he somehow doesn't see her so he turns around and he turns around

and goes lift and then immediately she pops out from the rightward direction and runs toward us I mean for sure the actors came face to face

nose to nose right behind the backdrop so that it's a physically impossible unless she has the power of invisibility but can only use it sparingly I see this scene by the way was the inspiration for Scooby-Doo

all the chase scenes on that I don't know people know that but Robert Altman invented the It's called the Scooby-Doo hallway chase. And it's a... Well, remember the pilot episode of Scooby-Doo is there was a pregnant gallery. There was, yeah.

Oh, that's right. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. And they did. They went ahead and said pregnant. Oh, yeah. They did at that time.

Yeah. At that time, they didn't have to have separate twin beds. They showed them fucking on a heart-shaped water bed. Yeah. I remember Scooby-Doo going, Redbit? With child? Rut-roll.

Rubberbrook That's what scuba do, Sid Well now Okay, yeah, she really lays it out She's like, you never loved me, you committed a murder, then there's the chase scene And then, oh, oh, there's an important scene here

Where, okay, Ben has been abducted by the Parsons And so has, uh, Hoss and Adam? Or, yeah, or Joe? I forget of Adam's even in this episode. Oh, no, he's in it. He's just, there to sort of stand around and go, I guess I'll just lean against this wall with my gun out,

make sure nothing happens to, he's just there in black, just, can I lean against something? You know the Pernell Roberts said, can I always have something to lean on here? Yeah. The convenience with which Haas can either be taken captive or unbeatable, it really changes from episode. It really does. That's true. It's what the plot demands is what his powers are.

The cumulative effect I'm starting to feel after 60-some episodes of this show of how much strife the cartwrights either go through or bring upon themselves week to week makes me actually quite anxious that humans could endure this much trauma and tragedy and just still be laughing at the end of everything. You're right. That's not a life I'd like to live. No. That's a good point. It gives you more respect for the cartwright. I suppose it does. Or they're psychopaths.

And this stuff just doesn't land with them. It's both. Like a show with other people. Yeah. Yes. I suppose you could find a few instances of situations where someone is brutally murdered and they don't care. Might be a wife or three. Yeah.

Oh, okay. Life is cheap out on there. Yeah, it really was. But so now, okay, it is established by the cart ride boys that there's somebody else bought a painted pony and a left-handed holster recently. in town. They did a lot of shoe leather detective work. Yeah. All in the last 10 minutes. Yes. Oh, by the way, here's this receipt. Here we go.

Right. And at nighttime, too, they must have woke up the fellow from the general store and they think, well, who? And they've got the receipts. They literally have receipts. They literally have receipts. And the name on the receipt is Jerome. And we already know he's a murderer. Or maybe we don't know yet. Who cares? When they bring the receipts, though, doesn't the murdered woman's dad? He says, is this another cart right trick.

Yeah. Like, are the cart rights known for doing weird? They're getting there. Yeah. Episode by episode. I have to say. It was just another cartwright trick. Well, but it's true.

And so the whole party, all the Parsons and all of the cart rights arrive at the hotel and look up to the second story. Uh-oh. Where Betty Lou is screaming for her life. She's being chased by a murderer. And he grabs hold of her, right, or something. It's threatening her. And then he's threatening to push her over the railing.

He's threatened to push her over the railing. That's his only way he knows how to kill somebody. Yeah. He relies on Palm Gravity to do his dirty work. Yeah. Pushing Jerome. And now here's another one where they just didn't sweat the details on the stunt work in my opinion. Nope.

No. Not at all. Yeah. You know me. I'm a fan of a high fault, a stunt show high fault. Yeah. Now, typically what you do is you flip over and you land on your back. Or if you really have to, I guess it's,

that height you could land in your stomach, but he seemed to do neither. He was mid-backfall and almost landed in a vertical. I don't know how that man did after this one. But also the physics of how he goes over the rail. He's pushing her against the rail. And then he pushes her back or she kind of wriggles free, but she's back by the window, but he somehow propels him. The physics make no sense. Like, we've got to have him go over the rail. I don't know how he's going to do it. Well, also, the railing breaks, and the way it breaks, it breaks off in a neat little segment. Oh, perfect.

That looks like it was almost on hinges. It was designed like a Knottesbury Farm Stuncheon. It's meant to go time and time again. And, man, it made me happy. Yeah. Oh, I loved it. Well, that's a fatal one-story fall for this man. Yeah, I know.

He falls at most. He would break some ribs. I'm sorry, that's not a fatal. Yeah. Yeah, but, oh, well, we got to wrap this thing up. We got to wrap it up, so he's dead. They don't show you that they just happen to get a shipment of a novelty man is in to do a lying on a bed of spikes thing.

Oh, right. Just in from time. That had to get cut for time. So he landed on a bed of spikes. He just planted a pitchfork garden in front of the saloon. The cactus that was Little Joe's witness had come to testify and was down there. It brought its whole family as one does. Yeah.

And then there's a moment. Remember that Coca-Cola commercial where somebody's a football player at the stadium and says, hey, kid, and gives him his jersey or something like that? Uh-huh. That wasn't Joe Namath? Well, maybe it was Joe. No, that was mean Joe Green. Oh, that's right.

Yeah. They do that, except it's the deputy giving little Joe's gun back at the end of this episode. And framed really weird. They're all walking right kind of in the background, and they raise the gun in the foreground. It looks really ominous like, here, you're going to need this out here. There's a lot of murder and psychos. I guess that is it. It had a very, I know they didn't mean it that way.

It's supposed to be triumphant, like, here you go. But watch how, look how it's framed. It's kind of grim. There's an enormous amount of weight put on the moment when the deputy returns little Joe's gun to him. Yeah. Like a portentious weight. Now it's your turn to murder. Yeah, basically.

Yeah. I know you didn't do this, but we know. We all know where you're headed. We've all done it. Yep. And that's the happy ending of this episode. And then there's a little bit of teasing, I recall. There's a little bit of joking around.

You're right. They always, at the end of an episode, we're death and dismay. Yeah. And they're just kind of giggling. Yeah, somebody gets a little teased. This one truly had it all, though, because it had a woman that died and a woman that lived. Two women in a bonanza episode. Oh.

Very strange. And one with dialogue? I know. Whoa. Yeah, that's why they had to make one. But, ugh. Hey, man. Things were changing in the 60s.

Oh, that's right. They sure were. My goodness. Sadly, we only have 366 episodes left to discuss a Bonanza. Oh, man. I know. But I'm excited to do them nonetheless. Okay.

I guess we're going to call it into this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. And then we're going to roll right into recording of the next episode of Bananas for Bonanza, in which we're going to talk about two episodes of Bonanza. Holy shit. Oh, boy. These last two, I'm telling you. I don't want to overhype them, but they are something else. They really are.

Something else meaning something other than a bonanza. Yes. Yes, absolutely. They're both equally bizarre. All right, so we'll talk about them next time right now. All right, folks. Now get by now. Bananas for Bananasas

for bananas is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon theme song by Matt Gordley with The Journeyland which in this case are Mark McConville Daniel Mitchiecoff and Wade Ryan Bananas for Bonanzas for Bonanza is mixed and edited by Mark McCombie

executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Gordon we'll see you around This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer Pre-Rroll Sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expect it. Maybe it's a little too loose. Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground.

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