Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #66: “The Dream Riders” and “Sam Hill”

Episode Date: August 20, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Oswaltmananzapalooza continues as Dalton and Mutt welcome Patton Oswalt back to the show to discuss not one, but TWO Robert Altman directed episodes, Season 2, Episode 32, 'The Dream Riders' and the Season 2 finale, Episode 34, 'Sam Hill'. Balloons and sledge hammers feature prominently in these, frankly, very weird hours of television.    Featuring Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 9/10/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is an eight-episode Hulu original limited series that blends gripping pacing with emotional complexity, offering a dramatized look as it revisits the wrongful conviction of Amanda Knox for the tragic murder of Meredith Kircher and the relentless media storm that followed. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is now streaming only on Disney Plus. This episode is sponsored by the OCS Summer pre-roll sale. Sometimes when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expect it. Maybe it's a little too loose.

Maybe it's a little too flimsy. Or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong. But there's one roll that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.org and participating retailers. When you book your vacation, feel as calm as a day spent on the beach. beach in Cuba. You can thank Sell Off Vacations. Unlock an island escape like no other.

Where new experiences lead to lifelong memories. Because Cuba as Unica, and if you find a better rate, we'll beat it. There's really no better way to start your happy travels. Contact a travel expert or visit.com.com. Hello, listener. Quick announcement. If you're in the last Angeles area. This Thursday night, August 21st at 9.30 p.m. Matt Goreley, Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchikoff, and I will be performing live at the Elysian Theater as a group called Our Man in Town. We're going to be playing songs and improvising scenes as well. Go to Elysian Theater.com to buy tickets and hopefully we'll see you there. And now, here's this. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bananza episode 66, which was released to our Patreon

subscribers on October 16th, 2024. This is Andy Daily. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bonanza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and ad free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daily. You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord, and more. Subscribe today. And now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. Hia! Bonanza, it's the finest show alive, so consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside, take some Ponderosa pride and forever made it.

I'm bonans for bonanza. I'm going to get started with a yih-haha. God damn, that's my second y-haw of the day because the podcast listeners won't know it, but we are recording two episodes today. not only that but we are talking about three episodes of bonanza and the reasons we're doing that is two reasons number one is that there's three episodes directed by robert altman we're talking about them all in one morning and number two is we have had a numbering problem with our podcast where the episode of bananas for

bonanza number 63 let's say we talked about episode 62 of bonanza because it's a problem that was caused by Christmas. Now we're another problem. And today we is taking measures to solve this problem by doing two episodes of Bonanza in one episode of bananas for Bonanza. I can't tell you the number of people who said you should take one episode of Bonanza and cover it across two episodes of bananas for Bonanza, which would have made the problem. We almost did it. We almost did it. We would have been a further episode behind. We would have made the problem worse. so many people don't know it was strange but anyway this is the solution to do two bananas oh not even holding my mic up i'm still we'll let's go ahead and introduce the man who's always

here when robert olman directs the banzy episode it's pet noso oh damn great to be here guys wonderful you got me so relaxed and comfortable i didn't even pick my mic up well then they can't hear that litany of racist comments you were made well thank goodness thank goodness all right I call these Oswald Mananzas is what I call these episodes. It's got all three things in there is what it's got. It's got Oswald. Man is from Altman. Oh.

And Altman. It's got Altman in there. Oh, my God. It's got Oswald and Altman. And it only has a... Huh? Patman Bonanza. Patman Bonanza.

Patman Crothers. I'm just working some things out of my head. We are lost in the Port Monto Swamp. Oh, Lord. Let's get out of it. yeah the two episodes you know it would really get us out of a swamp it'd be a nice hot air balloon oh yeah oh wouldn't that be lovely yeah also be something that we could build a whole episode around oh just had one that came to us and said hey let's throw together script last

minute oh well you fellas is getting into it this is we're talking today about season two episode 32 the dream riders and then later we're going to talk about season two episode 34 the season finale of season two a bonanza which was called sam hill and but let's go ahead and forget about that one for now and just focus on the dream riders now are we going to make an attempt to speed through these or are we doing them regular style i think we should do them a little bit faster yeah and we can definitely i would i'm okay speeding through the uh dream riders if we can get to sam hell because good lord sam hell is is i have a lot of questions experience yeah it's a very strange yeah yeah all right dream riders has everything it's got all four cart rights it's

got one woman it has some comedy sequences and it has gunfire in close proximity to a giant bag of hydrogen gas. Probably a bad idea. I'm not even going to bother you with what it was May 20th, 1961 when this aired and absolutely everything was the same. Absent mind of professor. Hello Walls. Farron Young singing the Willa Nelson song.

Runaway by Del Shannon. Celebrity birthday born on this day, just real quick, because he's a big star. I don't even have to tell you anything about him. It was New Zealand horseman Vaughn Jeffries, obviously. Oh, my Lord. Bronze medalist in the equestrian show joke. You all know.

You all know. Everybody knows him. All right. This script for Dreamwriters was a collaboration. Oh. Between the art teacher and the English teacher at Redondo Union High School. This, I wait, what? I'm sorry, what?

Neither of them ever wrote anything for television ever again. This was the only thing they ever wrote. What were they teaching English and drama? Art. Art and English. And what led them to write a script for, Bonanza. I would love to know.

Providence. Right. These gentlemen, they both have 30-year careers working at the Redondo Union High School, and at some point in the middle of those careers, they got together, and they wrote an episode of Bonanza, and somehow it became an episode of Bonanza directed by Robert Holman. Only in fucking America. Yeah. I mean, there's no way they was in the writing room on the writing staff.

They couldn't, unless they took a sabbatical, I suppose. But it's very strange. I'd love to know how it came about it. Good for them. This was during the period of TV when they would do 40 episodes in the season, so they would get to the point of like, is anyone mailed us anything that we didn't shoot?

What do we get the slush pile? We have three slots to fill. This one's ready to go. I mean, it's got all the... It's got everything you want in a Western. How quick can you build a wooden box that looks like it could pump hydrogen? That vaguely looks like it could pump hydrogen.

Hydrton. Well, so they did that. That was James von Wagner and Jack McLean, both of whom were beloved. If you go to, like, their legacy pages because they both died, their students chime in there and say how beloved they are. The art teacher, which was Jack McLean, there's large pieces of art on the campus of Redondo Union High School that he made. You can still go visit them.

Yeah, if you want to. Pilgrimage. Sidney Blackmer played Major John F. Cayley in this episode. episode. You'll remember him as Manhattan Warlock slash coven leader Roman castavet in Rosemary's Baby. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's real good in that and he's real good in this. He is good. Yeah. He helped found the North Carolina School of the Arts. He somehow played Teddy Roosevelt in seven unrelated movies. What? I'm sorry, what? Yeah. How does that happen to you? He also doesn't strike me as a Teddy Roosevelt looking dude.

Nope. He's more of John Tyler. Yeah, I don't. I agree. Yeah. He was in a movie called Quiet, please, colon, murder. Wait, minute. Was it quiet, comma, please, colon murder? No. Just quiet, quiet, please, colon.

Is he telling murder to be quiet? Yeah. Or he's like quiet murders happening. Yeah. I took it to be quiet, please. I'm about to commit a murder. Oh, okay. You know.

And I need full concentration. It's very polite. Yes. he also was in a movie called I Want a Divorce and that was in 1940 He was playing Teddy Roosevelt and all these

Yeah it could have been That's a tough one If it's movie night And you want to take your spouse To a movie You know what I mean Or it's good If that's what you want to say

It's very passive aggressive Very passive aggressive I want a divorce It's written by the art teacher's wife Because he was And it's about a guy That watches way too much Pananza

Well I hate to say it But you know And hangs out with the art teacher A little bit too much They sold one script. How many did they write? Yeah, that is true. It's their best.

Yep. Sidney Blackmer also worked with Jimmy Stewart in the classic film It's a Wonderful World. What? Life. Nope, nope. It's a different film. It's a Wonderful World, 1939.

Jimmy Stewart. Wait a minute. Jimmy Stewart did a movie called It's a Wonderful World. Yeah. What year was it, It's a wonderful life? I think it was. Yeah. Wow.

Did he, was he on the set going, hey, Frank. Hey. You know, I did a movie called It's a Wonderful World. No one will remember that. And by the way, we didn't. That's true. Yeah, yeah. It's a forgotten one.

Yeah. Oh, Will. We also had Burke Douglas playing Private Bill Kingsley. He's the good-looking young private in this episode. This is his second bonanza. We talked about him before in his film career, which included the 1965 film Zebra in the kitchen. I don't know. He was also in a made-for-TV.

sequel to True Grit. What? Yeah. True Grit. What? Oh, good God. True Grit had a sequel for the movies. Called Rooste Cogman.

That's right, with John Wayne and Catherine Hepburn. But they did a TV movie? They did a TV movie called True Grit, colon, a further adventure. This reminds me, do you remember they did a, was it a sequel to Gone with the Wind with Timothy Dalton? Wow. What? Yeah. I don't remember that.

Or was they I'll look it up You guys keep talking Okay I don't know Yeah of course they did That was a successful film Stuart Nisbet is in this movie

He plays Sergeant Heinz the asshole Oh yeah He also was a casting director He owned a casting agency In Hollywood That's not fair Oh that's Probably got himself

A lot of roles that way What do you call nepotism But it's yourself Yeah We looked at 80 people that in I got to tell you I'm the only guy that can do this Trust me

I'm sorry to say we erased all the tapes that we made today, but it just the one. I didn't audition myself, and I was good. Okay, it was a 1994 miniseries called Scarlet. Oh, good God. And it was Joanne Whaley. Oh, I like her. And Timothy Dalton. Joanne Whaley was Scarlet O'Hara.

Timothy, I'm going to have to watch this. All right. Good luck. Sean Bean. Gene Smart. Holy shit. What a cast. Yeah, all right.

All right. Carry on. He was also Stuart Nisbet was in Police Academy Mission to Moscow Who was he? I don't know

He was in a movie called Angel in my pocket I've heard that before Yep Zebra in the kitchen Angel in my pocket I want a divorce He played the role

of birthday party guest in yellow shirt In The Graduate Oh who can forget that He was also in a show called Madams Place Do you remember Madam's Place? The puppet

The puppet Yeah What? It was a Larry Sanders. Madam, yeah, wait a minute. Yeah, Whaling Flowers. Right.

Who was in that? This actor, Stuart Nesbitt. Uh-huh. Okay. He guessed it on an episode of that. But I was reading about it. It was a Larry Sanders starring Madame the puppet. Like, she was a talk show host,

and then you saw her life outside of the talk show host. And a young Corey Feldman was a precocious neighbor boy who kept dropping by. That sounds vaguely familiar. Yeah. So first you're going to watch Scarlet, And then you're going to watch all the episodes. Diana Malay was in this episode. She played Diana Cayley.

She did a ton of Broadway. In 1962, she was chosen as Miss Emmy because of her extensive appearances on primetime TV shows. To be clear, she did not win an Emmy. She was chosen as like the Beauty Queen style Miss Emmy to represent the Emmys in skimpy outfit. She works a lot. Like, who's that? Look, she learned. Man's a lot of rolls, man. Nails a lot of auditions.

The work's not that good, but man, she gets hired. We can't, you can't argue with that. Can't completely ignore her. Can't give her an award. We are damning with faint praise. Also, no one else competed. It was a very small ad in backstage. She, uh, she went on to write books, including, I'd rather eat the

act and the power of Halloween. What? I'm sorry. I'd rather eat than act. Two books on the end of a spectrum. Ecclectic. Unless she's talking about all the treats she gets on Halloween. Yeah, exactly.

I don't know. That concluded her from actor. God. Right. What's the power of Halloween? I don't know. What's her name? Diana Millay.

M-I-L-L-A-Y. Yeah. I wonder if at some point somebody told her, sweetheart, you need to choose between eating and acting. And who? And who made that threat and why? Exactly. Who would make that threat?

Have you ever heard of a show called Dark Shadows? Oh, yes. It was a cult supernatural daytime series. And Diana Malay, I guess she's best known for playing an immortal Phoenix-like entity on that show. Dalton, I would advise you never watch Dark Shadows. If that becomes your next podcast, Donanas for Dark Shadows, it's just Chocop. block with monsters, and I don't think you'll handle it very well. There's just glorifying

monsters. Well, it's worse than that. It started off as a regular soap opera, wasn't getting good ratings, and then they threw a vampire into it. What the fuck? And the ratings went through the roof. Oh, my God. I know. So that's not anything you want to... If

that was a real vampire actor that they were using, then I can understand why people would tune in to keep tabs on him. Like, all right, he's in a TV studio now. We can go out. We're good. about our business, we're safe. So that I understand. If it was a fake vampire actor,

then they're just glorifying vampireism, the way they done on them Twilight movies, sexy vampires. Yeah, and I don't hold with it. Diana Millay, the power of Halloween. Okay. Among the dark shadows. Oh, I see.

And foggy mist, the living have long searched the night on Halloween. Some catch a fleeting glimpse or vision of a loved one. Others are touched by the gift of a telepathic message. In some mysterious way, the spirits feel your everything. thought and hear your every word on this mystical magical night. The power of Halloween

draws on author Diana Millay's heritage, witches and witchcraft. It does not come from history books, but from stories passed on by generations of a family mystics who have made magic since the beginning of time. What the fuck? So she went method as fuck

is what you're saying. She comes from a long line of witches. She admitted in a book. She literally said that. Yeah, she's still alive. I don't know. It's also she's a co-writer on this, so I don't know. She's like a, no pun intended ghostwriter.

Oh, shit. I don't like her. It's on Amazon. You can get this book. Wow. The character of Herschel in this episode was played by the unfortunately named Jonathan H.O.L.E. I spotted that. John H.O.L.

Oh, she died three years ago. Oh. Or did she? Oh, right. Oh, right. Jonathan Hole was in a movie called Moon Pilot, playing the Hotel Clerk. What a bummer, right? Your agent calls and says, hey, you're going to be in Moon Pilot.

Playing what? Hotel clerk. Oh, damn it. Son of a bitch. Okay, let's get into recapbing this episode. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. All right.

This episode is sponsored by the OCS summer pre-roll sale. Sometimes, when you roll your own joint, things can turn out a little differently than what you expected. Maybe it's a little too loose, maybe it's a little too flimsy, or maybe it's a little too covered in dirt because your best friend distracted you and you dropped it on the ground. There's a million ways to roll a joint wrong, but there's one role that's always perfect. The pre-roll. Shop the summer pre-roll and infuse pre-roll sale today at OCS.ca and participating retailers. The Twisted Tale of Amanda Knox is an eight-episode Hulu Original Limited series

that blends gripping pacing with emotional complexity. offering a dramatized look as it revisits the wrongful conviction of Amanda Knox for the tragic murder of Meredith Kircher and the relentless media storm that followed. The twisted tale of Amanda Knox is now streaming only on Disney Plus. This episode starts with three F-troop-looking soldier guys come along in a wagon, covered wagon. They're overlooking Virginia City. They're excited to be finally arrived at Virginia City. The one of them is so old, you wouldn't think an old man that old would be in an army in those times.

But he says to the other guys, all right, you've got a mission to do down in Virginia City. I'm going to the Ponderosa to see my old friend Ben Cartwright, who sadly trusts me. So now we know our friends are in trouble. Yeah, or they are trouble. Oh, yes. Something's going on here. Yeah. Yeah, so there, oh, and then he's trailing on his cart, we see,

something that the prop department had 20 minutes to make up. It's a silver box with rubber hoses. It's got like, one of those noodles, pool noodles that have been painted black. Just. A pipe insulation, like foam pipe insulation. Went to Dan's backyard and grabbed some of his pool equipment. Absolutely. It feels like something was shipped to the studio and they just took the crate.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell you what I do. We'll paint this crate silver. No time. No, we've got to paint it silver. Don't lose any sleep.

This one was written by two teachers. Do you get it? Well, now the old man goes to the ponderos, and boy, has Ben happy to see him. Ben has so many old friends, Ben. Yeah, he really does. They all do friends and lovers. Yeah, best friends. And he tells his sons, this is the closest you'll ever meet to a human bird.

Without any explanation, he says that. Yeah. I thought he meant just that he's thin and has hollow bones or something like that. Right. Yeah. But he's descended from dinosaurs. He might have been living with him. But then he said, we learned he's got an experiment going. Then we see our classic jug fighting establishing shot of Virginia City.

There's the fight over the jug in the streets. That's right. I miss it every time. You miss it every time. Soldiers are in the hotel room. The two young soldiers we met earlier. One of them is drunk as hell. that's Heinz, drunk asshole, and he always calls the other one Soldier Boy.

He can't not call him Soldier Boy. That's right. Every sentence. Soldier Boy. Stand up, Soldier Boy. Sit down, Soldier Boy. Well, look at you, Soldier Boy. Soldier Boy has drawn a very good picture of the bank.

Isn't that interesting? Why do you need such a good picture of the bank? What the hell are these two fellas up to? Seems like no good. Back to the Ponderosa where Ben is telling his. his kids, the hilarious story of the time that his friend John affixed wings to his arms and jumped off of a cliff and broke both of his legs. That sounds like a, that would be an unpleasant memory. Right. Yeah. Yeah. And not something you'd chuckle over. Not with the person in the

room. Was he in the room? Yeah, he was right there. Mm-hmm. And, uh, but now we learn that that's this guy's deal. Major John Cayley, he believes man is meant to fly. We were, will be up there. Even the birds will envy us, he says. We are meant to be in the skies. And then he finds out, Ben finds out that he's got two soldiers staying in Virginia City. He goes, what do you mean by that? Go get him. Go bring them back here to the Ponderosa. It's 36 hours to get there. But Ben, Adam's going there anyway. As the crow flies. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Adam's going to get the, going at Virginia City anyway. You get them, you bring those soldiers back here. They should stay at the Ponderosa.

All right, now we have a scene where Soldier Boy presents some official Army documents at the bank to be kept in a vault. And you could just tell this is part of a plan, right? Some bad plan is going on. That's sour. Yeah. Now, Adam has arrived, I guess it's 36 hours later. He's arrived at the hotel, and he's having dealings with drunk Heinz. And we see Kingsley in the mirror.

Oh, boy. It happens again. Okay. and Kingsley Kingsley is going to go with Adam to the Ponderosa Heinz doesn't want to he's going to go to the saloon

but now Adam this is one of those times Adam is so smart and so observant and such a he's a born detective because he sees the picture of the bank in the sketchbook and he's got questions

why does an army private need to be such a good artist he's the something's going on now we're back at the Ponderosa Ben and Hoss and Little Joe are watching John inflate a hot air balloon. And it's filled with hydrogen gas, which is being pumped out of this silver-painted crate somehow, out there on the ponderosa.

And man, if this isn't the longest scene, this is a long one. Yep. And what happens is they're trying to, they're trying to bring the balloon down on ropes. They have it on a tether. Right. Yeah, with like a crank on it, like a winch. Yes, they have it on winch. Something.

The length of this scene is like they're trying to get the balloon down and the balloon is lifting them up and there's all this comical stuff of hoss and Little Joe getting lifted off their feet into the air. Yeah. Right? I have a quick theory. Yeah, okay. That maybe these two art teachers that wrote this also said, by the way, we'll supply a hot air. Yeah, like that was her hobby.

That was what got that. And they were trying to, maybe. they were trying to get hot air ballooning to take off in America, like, oh, we'll use a Bonanza episode. Yeah, maybe that's true. To show the fun of hot air ballooning. Right, the novel.

I will say, Haas really takes to this balloon. He is like... He loves it. Bear with a new toy. He's so happy. Couldn't be more different from little Joe. Who's terrified of the altitude?

Too terrified to take a nap in it, though. That's a little later, and it sure is weird. But anyway, the boys are in grave danger. They're so high off the ground, and Ben is worried, and old John Kelly's like, oh, come on, you know I wouldn't let anything happen to your boys. But it looks like they're really about to get fucked. Because little Joe is just holding on to hoss's legs, and leg is just holding on,

a host, he's holding on to a couple ropes. But that happens. And then, oh, wait, I was going to take a pause here to tell you. Because at some point, John Kelly says, you know, the army, turns out the army is not interested in his balloon plans. Well, I, but he did say that they used them for surveillance or something. Anyway, I looked up because I was like, is this historical accurate? And what I learned was that during the Civil War, a fellow went to the White House and demonstrated for Abraham Lincoln.

Oh, this sounds familiar. A hot air balloon. And part of his demonstration was he sent a telegram from the balloon, which was 500 feet in the air, to the White House. and Abraham Lincoln was quoted to have said he says we are going to win the war with balloons that is one of the lesser repeated Abraham Lincoln votes

that one we don't hear that enough the balloons that are filled with hydrogen in a shooting war exactly I think he meant like birthday party balloons oh I see oh hearts and minds we're going to kill him with kindness But no, the deal was that a hot air balloon in those days

It was always tethered to the ground But the whole point was to get some altitude To see what the other guys are doing I see, that's right That's all it was And to make yourself an easy target For a cannon and rifle fire Yeah, you really do

You really do But there was indeed a balloon corps Oh my God In the Civil War of 10 space force Yeah Yeah We must have balloon supremacy We must establish

It's a balloon gap. That's why the South lost the Civil War, the balloon gap. Exactly. Yep. The North had 10 balloons. Ascended over 3,000 times, they say. Wow. Yeah, kind of interesting.

Wow. Well, anyway, we learned that what John really wants to do, Major John, he wants to have a massive hydrogen balloon, so big that it can tow a ship, like a clipper ship, that's going to cross the ocean. And if anything should go wrong with the balloon, it just sets itself down as a ship and they pop up the sails

and take the rest of the way across the ocean like that? Why doesn't it just sail on its own? Does a balloon go that much faster? Oh, I don't know. Good question. It's also dependent on the winds, I suppose. So is a balloon.

Right. Yeah. Yep. Well, anyway, that's his plan. But sure enough, the military has seen this plan and said, no, thank you. We don't want you to do it. But he doesn't care.

He's a driven man. And he keeps saying this. He keeps saying, the winds are rising. That's his little, he says it three times in this episode. The first time he says it, he says, the winds are rising and the years hang heavy on my shoulders. What the hell? Very poetic. Very emo.

Yeah. Very goth. English teacher talk. That is. Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. We also have learned prior to this that he and his beautiful daughter, Diane, are not on speaking terms right now.

Oh. And sure enough, she arrives in Virginia City by way of the stage. coach and runs into Adam and Private Kingsley who are going to the Ponderosa and she hops aboard the buggy and hitches a ride with them. And it turns out that she and Private Kingsley are exes. They had a romance in the past. So much is going on here. There's a lot going on in this episode.

But she, yeah, she ain't happy with her father and all of his nonsense with balloons. And she's very worried that he's traveled to Virginia City and seems to have some plan involving the bank. Uh-oh. Yeah. Now we have a bizarre scene where, because little Joe has been asked to look after the balloon. Ah.

And so he's just sitting there. And I guess he's uncomfortable where he is. But he... This is the more comfortable option? I guess. Yeah. Yeah. And we know he's terrified of this balloon.

Exactly. We've very much established this. And yet he climbs into the basket of the balloon, puts his hat down over his eyes, and Jay takes a nap. Guys, we got to do some comedy business with a balloon. I know we established he's terrified. I don't get him in the balloon. Find a way. That's what we hire you, you nerds. All right? Get him in the balloon. Okay, we did it. How's he in?

He's just in. Great. All right. Let's go to lunch. Action. Wait, why do I go in the basket of the action? I said action. But sure enough, Haasksed along and he decides to have some fun. And so he lets the winch go and poor little Joe is all up in the air And he's squealing like a pig little Joe High-pitched squealing so scared And Haas just has so much fun Never get tired of the Haas and Joy

My goodness, Hoss has never had so much fun in his life And when he finally lets Joe down And Joe comes over to him, Joe punches him in the face And he goes down like a sack of bricks But that's another prank He's fine! He's fine! Yep. Oh, my God.

These two are too much fun, I'll tell you. It's just. Yeah. These art teachers know Haas and Joe better than the writers. They really do. Yeah. Balloon antics. Yeah.

My gosh. What the public wants. Well, now we're back in Ponderosa. We've got Diana has arrived. Ben seems like he's going to fall in love with her until he finds out. Oh, this is John's daughter. No matter. I'm surprised that stuff.

Yeah, exactly. She could give me a fourth son before she drops dead. The night after. She looks fertile. She's no brunette, at least. Oh, no, she's as blonde as can be. Yep. Beautiful.

Oh, Lord. So Diana now tells John, she's like, you've gone rogue. The Army's looking for you. They don't like what you're up to. He says, the winds are rising, my daughter. Jesus. And I must move skyward. She says his dream will never come true.

He says, man will find his destiny through the air, and my Atlantic Queen will lead the way. He's gone like Ahab. Yeah, he is. Absolutely, yeah. He's the Elon Musk. Yes, he is. He's lost his mind.

And now there's Bill and Diana come together again in the moonlight, and they go kissing each other. This is not an important scene, but Bill says, everything's going to become clear tomorrow. Right? Okay. And sure enough, it's breakfast in the morning. Adam, Adam and Diane are left alone, and he goes back in to his detective mode.

And he starts interrogating, Diana, what is going on here? Because Bill rode into Virginia City, and he said, I have an errand to run at the bank. But it's a Sunday. Their plan would have gone off flawlessly without a hitch. If it wasn't that he said, I got to go to the bank on a Sunday. Yeah. Or if they would have hid the plans in a church. Yeah.

It did make me wonder, hey, wait a minute, do the car rides not go to church? No, because you hear this man saying he's going to go to church. When they get into Virginia City, the banker is on his way to church. Yeah, I guess 36 hours to church, you'd never make it. I don't like the sound of that. The cart rides don't go to church on a Sunday? They probably watch an online service. Okay.

Zoom at a mega church. Okay. And watch, you know, full camera. Of course. 14 camera cutaways. Yeah. That makes sense. All the bank of churches are doing that.

Some kind of hip musician. Haas isn't allowed in church because he frightens God. God can't believe what he's created. And little Joe is not allowed because all the men are too tempted. Yeah. Yeah. Adam's just an asshole. Yeah, that's true.

You wouldn't want that guy in a church. No. All right. So now we got to, it's breakfast, okay, though, I've done all that. And this now, well, blah, blah, blah, blah. I believe Adam and Diana go to Virginia City to see what the hell is. There's a lot of back and forth. This is where things honestly start to run together.

Really do. What I remember most, if we want to, because we're doing two episodes, let's go, let's just jump to the ending because the ending is quite something. Okay, let's do that. But basically, so all right, I'll rock it through. Some it all up, yeah. Okay. Bill and Hines, the two.

soldiers they end up robbing the bank on a Sunday and they and then Heinz double crosses John and Bill but he grabs all the money for himself and he rides but for some reason he's riding to the balloon why why they never explained and not only that but but private bill knows that's where he's going to go right and so when he sees Adam he says Heinz took all the money we've got to get to that balloon before he does doesn't make any sense Heinz would go anywhere but the balloon. Right. I mean this non-figuratively, don't look at me. I don't. I don't know. So, all right, Heinz, sure enough, does arrive at the balloon first. He's got all the money. He says, Bill's been shot dead, which ain't true. And he says, we got to hurry up and

get in that balloon. I guess the balloon is their getaway. I guess. That's true. That is true. Yeah. So now all of a sudden, he... It's hard to track a balloon. Great getaway vehicle. If you want to be extremely visible and move very slowly it's an ideal getaway vehicle it's something no one else has ever seen before how will we stop it will help you get me a rock but suddenly john and hines sergeant hines are in a terrible rush to get into the basket of that balloon they've got to go right now and nobody is suspicious of that ben's like oh okay this experiment has to happen immediately all right sure off you go but rides up just in the neck of time adam and bill who's not dead and diana and

And what do they do? They say, don't, they're... Pa and the sons, they let loose all the ropes for the balloon, and they're just about to start doing the win. No, he's going to cut it. Oh, he's going to get in fact, he does, he phrased it. He has the big machete, that's right. Yeah.

Right, they're about to let loose. I mean, it could, if it was a half a second later, would have been too late. But now, Hines pulls out his gun to shoot somebody or something. I don't know. He aims to shoot, I believe Adam from telling him, telling everybody that they're playing. Oh, right.

But Adam shoots him, shoots him dead. Sure does. Ames up? Well, doesn't the old man tries to stop the guy? Uh-huh. Oh, that's right. And he shoots the old man. Right.

Now he's got thousands of dollars in a corpse or a mortally wounded man in his base case. Human ballast. Yeah. Right. Yep. And that's when Adam shoots him. And then they are able to pull the balloon back down. And he gets another, we get another high fall.

Oh, do we? Doesn't he fall from the balloon? Someone falls from the balloon. Oh, I believe, yeah. Sergeant Hines doesn't that's what kills him maybe? Or something like that. Yeah. Or maybe, well, no, no, the old man.

The old man fell from the balloon. Because he's on the ground, remember? Right, right, right. Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. And he gets a moment. We were all looking at our phones at this point.

This is, yeah, just as soon. I was getting a, I was on a very funny text through it at this point. Well, I'd say, a hind shoots John, Adam kills Heinz. John apologizes. He was going to pay back the stolen. money. He says again, the wind is rising, Ben. I mustn't fail. I must ride the wind and then dies. And then the rope snaps and the balloon takes off, empty. But Ben looks up at it and he says,

Bon voyage, Johnny, as if John were in the balloon. As he's in the balloon, and they have that weird from the ground shot of the balloon disappearing in the sky. And it's a weirdly lyrical and very altmanesque way to end an episode of Bonanza. And I was very pleased. You were pleased by that, Andy. At that, yeah, to get to that, though, was a friggin slog. Yeah, the balloon floats off. And I feel like even Altman was like, this is a chore. Can we just shoot the balloon going away?

No more teachers. Yeah. Right in scripts. Somebody buy these teachers a map. And the balloon floated off to the deep south. And it floated off. Yeah. They got to enter the balloon race.

Right. Counter the North. Yeah. That balloon dragged on the Civil War for another six months when it got there. That's, now we have only 365 episodes left to go with. If we did one a day for the next year, we'd finish. But we ain't gonna, we're gonna do another one right now. All right.

Hot damn, folks, we're barreling into the second episode of the episode. It's season two, episode 34, Sam Hill. Oh, boy. This one has a magical man with a mighty hammer. It's got a woman. It's got a funny drunken sailor and an incredible, well-timed natural phenomenon. Yes, very well time. It's also got flow from Alice.

What? Not really. No, but I thought it was her. It wasn't her. No, I thought it was her too, but I looked it wasn't her. Wasn't her. It wasn't Polly Holiday. I thought it might be Polly Holiday, but it wasn't.

God damn, you could have fooled me. I mean Polly Holiday ripped this woman off. It's a Polly Holiday with Alice. June 3rd, 1961. We do have a new number one movie with Young Savages. Well, I don't want to dwell on it, but it's about the same murder that Paul Simon's Cape Man was about. What?

Oh, the Puerto Rican community in New York. Yeah, it was a, there was a gang called the Vampires, and a young teenage boy wearing a black cape committed a murder. Don't wear a black cape in Manhattan if you want to try to get away with a murder. Exactly. Me, nuts. God damn vampires. A quarter to three by Gary U.S. Bonds is the number one song.

We can't talk about it. We don't have time, except to say, of course, everybody knows all about it. Paraguayan soccer defender, Cesar Zabala was born on this thing. Cesar! Celebrate it. I don't need to tell you anything you don't already know about that guy.

Okay. Sam Hill is the last episode of Season 2 of Bonanza. And David Dorrit Tort himself, who created Bonanza, wrote this episode. After the fiasco of last year. Yeah, yeah. I had to apologize.

And I got to take control. Don't worry, I'll fix it. How much of the cartwrights are in there? They had a script by two lunch ladies. and it just did not work so he had to write this one. He had to come in and fix it. Yeah.

But this was intended as a springboard to a spinoff. Oh boy. Sure was. And it sure doesn't feel like a bonanza episode. It doesn't feel like any... It feels like if they did a Twin Peaks origin thing as to where the Black Lodge came from. And it is so bizarre.

Couldn't be weirder. Yeah, could not be weird. I don't mean to jump ahead to the ending, but I get you've got Sam Hill and his comic relief father, but then to shoehorn in a third character, a musical sidekick, right at the end. Literally at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Crazy. All right. Claude Ackons plays Sam Hill. You know him from AA, B, B, B, MCO, and co-commercial. He was also the aggressive human-hating guerrilla general Aldo in Battle for the Planet of the Hs. Hell, yeah. Which was billed as the final chapter. Not exactly.

That before Friday the 13th. Mm-hmm. He was Sheriff Lobo in B.J. M. The Bear, and it spinoff the misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, which was shortened in its second season to simply Lobo, because that was the problem. Fixed it. And it's still running to this day. It really is. That was the fix. Yep.

Then we got Edgar Buchanan played John Henry Hill. This is his second bonanza. Oh, by the way, this is Claude Aiken's third of fourth bonanzas. Wow. I know. They liked him. liked him. This is the second one for Edgar Buchanan, a man who was born in

Humansville, Missouri. Oh, boy. He's definitely an alien. Well, there you go. No doubt about it. This is the guy that was in 222 episodes of Petticoat Junction as Uncle Joe Carson. Oh, he's the hotel

guy. Yeah. Okay. There were that many. I know. And three episodes of Beverly Hillbillies and Green Acres, whatever. Now we get to Ford Rainey. as Colonel Tyson in this episode. And this is the bad guy. Oh, boy.

This is the psychotic weirdo. Good best villain we've had in a while. Yeah, yeah. He's got one arm, right? Yeah. I think his arm, his sleeve is pinned in there. He's got one arm. And his face, he has, like, demonic makeup on.

Some kind of face makeup going on. Eye shadow. Yes. Yeah. Some kind of eyeliner. Very, very early glam. This is his first of, Nine Bonanzas.

Heck yeah. He was also in eight episodes of the King of Queens in the role of Mickey. He was Mickey. He was played Arthur Spooner's friend at the retirement home. Great straight man, really just kind of dry and told me all kinds of John Ford anecdotes in between scenes. This is a Kevin Bacon situation. We never had anything like this before. You are one degree of separation away from Bonanza.

Oh my God, that's right. Well, Dirk Blocker. And also Dirk Blocker. Right. On Brooklyn 9-9. Oh, yeah. So I have two connections. Holy shit.

It's more than Dirk Blocker. Yeah. I can't believe you worked with an actor who was in this episode. It's unbelievable. It's incredible. And how many John Ford movies was raining in? He was in a bunch. I don't know.

I didn't notice that. Oh. But I did notice that he played Dr. Mixter in Halloween 2. Oh. All right. That's no shit where I know him from. Yeah. That's what you know him from.

Yeah. Yeah. He's the one because you never see him and he says he was out at a party, the same party that I believe Lori Strode's parents were at in Halloween one. Oh, when the kid killed the, oh, my God. The night of Halloween, because it's the same night, Halloween two-tenths. Oh, they went out and that's why she's babysitting. Oh, wow.

They shouldn't have gone to that party. There was clearly this party in Haddonfield that all the adults were at because nobody's home. Right, exactly. He never seen any. That's it. Yeah. And he's one of those just kind of like shaggy-haired smoking doctors of the 70s that... Yeah.

He dies with a hypodermic needle in his eyeball. Yes, he does. That's right. With green goo. Oh, he... Ford Raney. That's a very subtle murder for Michael Myers. It is.

It didn't fit right. No. It didn't. Yeah, just stick with the classics. The butcher. Play the hits. Yeah, man. And it's also like you kill somebody with a hypodermic needle if you're trying to get away

with it. You don't then leave the hypodermic needle. in the eyeball. Exactly. Michael. Michael's all about those. The little bit of theatricality and tableau he likes to make. Mm-hmm.

Scenes, little pageants. If I'm in a hospital, let's use what's in the hospital. I know, yeah. Do a theme. He's the MacGyver of Slashers. He was also what else. Well, this guy, Ford Rainey, he worked for, in his 90th year. Damn.

He was in the crucible at the theatricum, botanicum, and Topanga. Oh, yeah. Founded by his friend, Will, you. the late Willgear. Will gear, oh my gosh. Yep. He did some other things. We'll talk about it later because last guy I want to, no, I want to tell you about two other people.

But this guy, Billy Joe, who comes along at the very end. Literally at the very end. With a guitar in his hand. It couldn't have been more shoehorned and bizarre. Yeah. But that tiny, tiny little role was played by Robert Ridgely or the Colonel in Boogie Nights. Incredible. Oh.

And this guy's had a crazy career. He was in Well, he was in two Robert Altman films Early ones, Nightmare in Chicago and Countdown I ain't there saying no I don't know He was in four Mel Brooks movies What?

Who? What? He is the like medieval executioner In Blazing Saddle The one that does the like They're all equal in my eye That's him? That's him

Oh my God Holy shit I know and then he reprised that role Not that any of us would know it possibly fit him in today. That character comes back in Robin Hood, Men in Tights. Oh, wow. But he's also, I don't know what he did in high anxiety or life stinks, but he's in both of them.

Wow. Is he the guy that kills him with the newspaper in the psycho homage in the shower in high anxiety? No, because that guy's too young. He's a little younger. Oh, wait a minute. Could be. Or is he that? That kid gets no tip.

You know who he is? No, he's the guy that they're faking that he's sick in the asylum, Cloris Leachman and Harvey Corman, that they're making think. They're making him crazy. Remember, Harvey Corman puts on the fangs and the guy goes, no, no, doesn't know. I don't remember that movie so good. Okay.

He's also the mayor of Los Angeles and Beverly Hills Cop 2. Fuck, yes, he is. That's right. He comes out and he fires Alan Garfield on the spot. Yes. I'm tired of your abusive attitude. You're fired. Yeah.

And not only that, he was Thundar and Thundar the barbarian. Shit. Wait, he was the voice of Thundar? Yes. Holy, what a fucking career. He worked alongside Ucla the Mock. And what's her name, Sheila? I don't know.

Barbara, what's her name? Thundar, Ucla, and Sheila. We're patrolling the wasteland. You know, world collapse. He's got a laser sword. I'm Sheila. Not only that. What?

He was the voice of the peculiar Purple Pie Man of Porcupine Peak. From Strawberry Shortcake. Oh, yes. The Villar on Strawberry Shortcake. The peculiar purple pie man of Porcupine Peak. He's not still alive, is he? Nope.

I believe he has. Dad. He left us. Yeah, that was his last role of the Colonel in Boogie Nights, which was written with him in mind. God, was he good. Yeah. Creepy, creepy guys.

Yeah. Oh, that was so eerie. Now, the person you thought was Polly Holiday was Caroline Richter, who she, her story is that in 1944, the age of 17, she lied about her age to train as a pilot in the Women's Air Force Services Pilots Program. Damn. Jesus. I was going to make a joke that she joined the Navy. Yeah, but, damn. And then she graduated in three years from the University of Houston and started having babies.

and got into show business, and as a performer in Houston, she befriended many of the astronauts in the Apollo space program and attended the launches of Apollo 10 and 14 as a guest of the Apollo crew members. Hell, yeah. When did she change her name to Apollo Holiday? Yeah. By the way, she is currently 97 years old living in Miami, Florida. Wow. That's awesome. Good for her.

What a life. I know. What a life. Incredible. And she was in a funny scene in the Jerry Lewis movie, either Ladies Man or Aaron Boy, where he's in an elevator and she's blowing. in a bubble bubble gum and then it cuts

they are all getting off the elevator and his face is covered in her bubble it popped very erotic

that's the very that they made out yeah exactly the bubble condom yeah

so she didn't do anything from 1961 to 1967 when she returned to Bonanza and then

got out of fucking acting for good let's recap this episode oh yeah if we can if we can

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Plus. Because first First of all, I just have a question. Is this, and in any relation to Sam Hill, the expression, what in Sam Hill is going on here? And John Henry is this, this is not the John Henry. No, clearly not the John Henry. At one point, they literally say, what in Tarnation, Sam Hill? Yes.

Which is so weird. Yeah. Well, at the very end of the episode, what in Sam Hill. Hoss and Joe are clanging hammers, and Ben comes up and goes, what, the Sam Hill is going on here? And they go, Sam Hill. So there is a little bit of a... So the expression must have existed already in this world, because I looked up the origin of the expression,

and there's multiple theories, but the main one seems to be there was a man named Sam Hill that run a mercantile's company that you could get any odd, any who's it or what's it, or Gidget or Widget. And so they'd say, what in Sam Hill is going on here, meaning like, what is some crazy thing we could buy at his story, you know? But then there was also another Sam Hill that was known for foul language, so it was like a, they call it a bolderism of cleaning something up so as to not be explicit.

So what in Sam Hill? Like, what the fuck is going on here? Right, right, right. Sam Hill, because he curses. I like that version. Maybe he'll better. So I don't know if this is meant to be the origin story of Sam Hill after who came the expression, wasn't the Sam Hill?

It's very weird. And they're never clear as to, is Sam Hill a mystical, magical figure? because he has, he seems to have some superpowers, even though they're kind of disturbing. Yeah. That's why I thought that could be John Henry and we were going to get like Johnny Appleseed and there was a whole, like Legion of Justice. Yeah, like Justice League of. Yeah. There is supernaturalism around Sam Hill. Oh, boy. When the episode begins, there's thunder and lightning on the Ponderosa.

By the way, the exact same lightning that is midway through the episode of Silent Thunder. I think that was just a stock piece of. special effect footage they have but when the lightning storm starts and he's explained to her what it is it's the exact same lightning as in the beginning of this so I don't know if they're linked but there you go give me that lightning

get me the one shot of lightning on the paramount line give me the lightning shot well so now all the cartwrights know that when there's lightning and thunder in the springtime it portends the arrival of Sam Hill and so they run

outside and say is that Sam is he coming? And the way that they can confirm whether Sam Hill is coming or not is to hit an anvil with a sledgehammer again and again and again. It's a very groundhog day. Yeah.

But it's a weird. The music is this weird, thrumming music, there's lightning. They're banging on this. It's a very, like, again, mystical but maybe creepy beginning, like something weird's coming. And then when they cut to Claude Aiken's,

who I always, picture Claude Aitans is this rugged old guy, but he has almost this pixie-ish look, these bright blue eyes and very smooth, clean face. Yeah, lots of eyeliner. A lot of, yeah, yes, exactly. He's almost a Campbell Soup kid. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's riding a wagon, he's driving a wagon,

and he's got an an anvil or something by his side. Next to him. And a sledgehammer, and he responds to the hammering at the Ponderosa, As if to say, yes, it is me, Sam Hill. This spring storm did indeed pretend my arrival. Yeah, I rode in on the storm or something. I don't know. Right.

But then when he shows up, then the storm dissipates. Of course, as it always does. That's what they say. They say even that, that he, yep, well, storms always pass when he arrives. And then they're like, are all the stories about Sam Hill true? He planted a candlenut tree on his property, and it must have used magic to make it grow. This is, it's like they're conflating Johnny Appleseed with Sam Hill and John Henry. Yeah.

It's very weird. Yeah. It's so weird. And Sam Hill, he doesn't come straight to the Ponderosa. He goes to another piece of land where the aforementioned candle nut tree is growing and prospering. And there's a grave and it's his mother's grave. Is this on the Ponderosa? It is either on it or next door to it. But I think it's like a parcel of land.

Well, he owns it. though. He owns this little parcel of land for whatever reason, and he lights a weird gothic black candle on the gravestone. But it's, it is, that is the nuts of the candle nut tree.

Oh. That you can burn. Oh. That's what it is. Masculating tree. It sure looks fucking weird. Take your nuts off on fire at a woman's grave. I hope you don't mind. Very strange. So, but now

uprides our bad guy, Colonel Tyson, and his henchman. I'm sorry, his army. Oh, yeah, his army. Remember he keeps calling him his army. It's like three dudes, right? Yeah. Something like that. And he's, he wants this land.

It seems that Sam Hill is the owner of this piece of land, and he comes back, comes around once a year to visit his piece of land. And it's a waste of good pasture land, according to Colonel Tyson. He wants the land, and he tried hard to get it out of, the dead mother, okay, and Sam doesn't like this guy, and he says, she didn't want nothing to do with you, and you were in love with her and tried to have a romance with her, and she didn't sell you the land, and neither will I. And that's when old Tyson says, well, maybe the true owner of the land will sell it to me, your father. Now, okay, seems like Sam didn't

know he had a father. Right. Right. He goes down. He definitely doesn't want to meet him. No, he's a scared. But now he's going to. goes to the ponderosa and he tells everybody what happened he says my mother told me that my father died at sea i didn't know i had no father i don't think i do it's been 18 years he says it's been 18 years since he slipped under a roof what what kind of a life is this man have he's a traveling blacksmith he's an itinerant blacksmith which are really easy tools to i know you don't need to wait for the blacksmith to come to town was the heaviest thing in all of pop culture and yeah he also he has a man

magical way with horses, right? He's... He can communicate... There's this horse he hasn't seen in years, but he can tell the horse to please pick up a sledgehammer and hand it to him, and it happens. Yeah, it's...

There's so fucking much going on in this... They threw everything at this. The horse doesn't have digits. Yeah. No, he uses his mouth. I missed... I must have looked a little year. But also, and the horse is like...

I'm certain I looked away. He weirdly intelligently can walk around and seems to, again, everything's going on in this episode. They didn't know what to do. And then everybody tries to go to sleep, of course. It's nighttime, but not Sam Hill. Tink. He stays up all night, hammering away with a sledgehammer on the end wheel. It's something making shoe horses or I don't know what, and wagon wheels.

And he wakes up all the cartwright men, and they're all looking out there at him. And they're talking like, does he not need to sleep? Is that one of his magical powers that he doesn't sleep at all? And that's pretty creepy. Yeah. He later explains that there's ways of resting your brain without closing your eyes. Yeah. Now he's turning into like Judge Holden from Blood Meridian where I never sleep and can never die.

There's something very weird going on with him. The way he explains the mind, the body, there's ways that you, I don't know what that was. I have expected him to go into his midi-chlorian kennel. He can keep sledge-hammering something all night long, and his brain is asleep, and then his brain rests his body, even though his body is at work. Something like that.

We do get to see Haas's night clothes, which are adorable. Oh, yeah. Frigan adorable. He's wearing this, like, the long night shirt. He just looks so cute. Yeah, it's like a piece. A plaid nightgown.

Yeah, yeah. Looks wonderful. Yeah. All right, Ben, blah, blah, blah. We're in Virginia City. Joe and Haas right up to the hotel, and they arrive at the same time as Sam. They've all ridden in together because I think Sam is going to try to meet his father,

who we learn is staying in the bridal suite of the hotel, but not because he's married. It's because he travels with an enormous amount of artifacts from his strange travels around the world. which Sam finds out when he walks in because the door's not locked. He just walks in. And he sees all these weird artifacts from around the world, plus a photo of his mother.

Now he knows that this man who disappeared so long ago all this time has still loved his mother. Sam's mother. Not enough to stop collecting doodads around the world. Exactly. Or apparently impregnating another woman with Billy Joe. Mm-hmm. I guess.

But now we go down to the saloon. where we meet Lonesome Lill and she and Joe seem to be flirting good that getting along nice but a drunken old man comes along and cock blocks Joe

let's just say and Joe doesn't like him and he's a real drunk and he's but the funny thing is he's out of money and so even after this conflict with Joe he asked Joe to loan him $5 and Joe says

why would I do that and he says I just got into town you're the only friend up good that was pretty good that was pretty funny very charming funny thing to say to somebody he just infuriated and now he basically steals a bottle of booze and runs around the bar being chased by the bartender in a highly comical scene yes he's running and drinking champagne i think and it's and it's ridiculous and then he passes out and then we have what seemed to me i said i see robert altman in this move we're everybody in the bar so the bartender has

as the drunken fool on his, in a fireman's carry. Yep. Everybody in the bar spills out with him, and then the bartender drops him into the trough, the horse trough of water. Right.

That felt like I could have seen that in Popeye or McCabe and Miller or whatever. It was a funny moment. Yep. Very pop-eye. And then Julianne Moore came out naked from the waist down. That's right.

Yeah. Of course she did. And gave a monologue. And then Garrison Keeler came along. Mm-hmm. Well, this is witnessed by Sam Hill and Joe and Haas, and they realize, oh, that's the father. This is Sam Hill's father. Yeah.

He's in that trough of water. And so what do they do? They bring him. He says, I'm bringing you home. And Sam Hill brings him out to his piece of land. And so. By the way, can I just ask of nothing? Yeah.

I'm looking this up. The name of one of the bar flies in the scene, the actor. who play, it just says Barfly, uncredited. His name is Rudy Souter, S-O-O-O-T-E-R, Rudy Souter. And it will not load his IMD-B page, but I feel like he has some history. Anyway, go ahead, I'll let you know what I find it. You got to get on the wife out of here, Rudy Souter. So they take, but they take the old man back to the bonanza.

Oh, there he is. There's Rudy. Yeah, he was one of the barflies in this scene. He might be one of those guys that has a million credits because he was an extra in the 60s. I'm sure. It could be. Yeah. And it says uncredited in parentheses after everything he did. Which means he probably has a million things.

133 acting credit. Holy crap. Holy shit. Anyway, go ahead. Sorry. All right. Well, so now they're back on the piece of land where the candlenut tree in the grave is. And he recognizes it as the old man.

And this is when we realize he never fell out of love with his wife. he just was chasing treasure too long and more forgot about her and he's surprised to hear that she's dead the while the real treasure was right in front of him oh god no he blew it this old fool and and sam hill says you know colonel tyson wants to buy this land off of you and john hill says i would never sell this for all the money in the world and sam's a real happy to hear it and they're getting on real fine the two of them

And they seem to like each other just fine. And they go over to the Ponderosa and Tyson sees them riding together. Colonel Tyson sees him the bad guy's like, uh-oh. Uh-oh. Okay. Or not really, actually, because, well, you'll see. But now, back at the Ponderosa, it's bath time, clean-shaven John is in a big tub of water and he's getting scrubbed by his son while the other men look on.

Yeah. Let's have an old-fashioned dad. Daddy wash. You know what, down in the old West? He always have an old daddy wash. It's a real activity for these folks. We're washing the dad. He smells terrible.

And then Little Joe comes in, and they still have beef, the dad and little Joe. But he managed to turn him around in this scene, I think. He's so charming. He's so damn charming. How do you say no to a wet old drunk? A drunk in a tub And then we got Oh, there's a very entirely

Unnecessary scene Oh wait, there's a funny line in this scene Wait, there's an unnecessary scene In an episode of place Yeah, but wait Unnecessary episode But before that There's another great line

They're scrubbing up the father And Scrubbing up the father Scrubing up the father And Sam wants to know If he can put his father To work in his business So he says to him

you ever shot a horse and he says shot a horse I never even pointed a gun at one all right now all right then

the totally unnecessary scene is Colonel Tyson at the bank saying here's the deed to that land I wanted to buy

I am now the legal owner of that land har har har twisted mustache we didn't need that because we're about to find it out

when we are back at the Ponderosa where John doesn't want to talk about the cantal nut tree he planted, and he's telling stories and blah, blah, blah. And here comes Colonel Tyson to reveal the information we just learned. He has traveled those 36 hours from Virginia City in like 10 minutes. Yeah. And he's got, he says, here's your money, old man.

And thank you for selling me the property. And the old man, oh, wait, I've got. I forgot to say that when he was in the tub and little Joe was important. It is important. It is important. Little Joe says to him, do you remember you cock-blocked me with Lonesome Lill? And he was like, I don't remember anything that happened in Virginia City. I was drunk that whole time.

Well, now, Colonel Tyson says, you sold me the land in Virginia City last night. And he's like, what, no, I didn't. What are you talking about? I wouldn't. I never would. He has no memory of selling the land that his wife is buried on. Day drinking. That's what it gets you.

And now, so Ben says he's going to ride into town or something like, yeah, I don't know. Everybody's going to ride into town. They have hair signatures and he admits that he did sign it. The beginnings of the third acts of Bonanza episodes, just everything gets a little mushy for a while. It does. We're just going to go here and go and boom, now let's resolve it. Like, they just sort of, like, don't pay a lot of attention here. Right.

Yeah, we're just going to, we're moving people around for a little bit. You don't need to look at this and then we'll resolve it. Right. So in that phase of this episode, we learned that, in fact, John Henry Hill did sign the deed. That is his signature. He sold the property. He doesn't remember it. But that sure is said.

And then, but Sam doesn't care. He's going to go back to that property. And let's just see if they can remove me. And Sam goes up there and he's hammering away on a wagon wheel or something. And it kind of seems like maybe he's, his brain is asleep. You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. Could be that his brain is asleep.

Because Tyson rides up with his army, and he tells his guys, go get him, get him off my land that I bought from his drunken father last night. And they're approaching him, and Sam Hill is just hammering away on that anvil with that sledge here. But then all of a sudden he springs into action and he hammers these men Thor style. The first guy he hits, like he really hits, like he, I think he kills it. Well, I mean, for the show, he just knocks a guy. down but the hammer that the swing that hits him was like that killed him

he just killed that guy yeah brutal yeah and then the other guys I think he just knocks one guy's rifle out of his hands with his sledge hammer but it doesn't matter all three of those guys vanished from the episode whatever he did to them with that hammer they are gone those three men and

now it is just mono a mono Sam Hill versus Colonel Tyson who by the way in an earlier scene we learned one of his army man his task is to remember move and put back on his one glove. Yep. Colonel Tyson.

There's a sea word. He enters the house and has a man remove his glove. And then as he's leaving two minutes later, that man puts his glove back on. Glob boy. Glob boy. Glob boy. Where's my glove boy? This is when things actually get crazy.

Which is when basically the earth starts to rumble while Sam and Tyson are fighting. Well, and doesn't Sam hammer like a rod into the? the ground to like release. Oh, I didn't know that there's a connection. Is that what he was doing? Geothermal vent at some kind. That's right. He's driving long rods into the ground. I thought he was laying stakes to build a new house or something like that. I think he was doing it to, because there's an amazing hero shot of the steam coming out of him standing in front of it. Like, is he magical or does he just really understand geology? That makes a little more sense. Because we have learned that the house on this property burned down some years ago. And in fact, that's what

killed his mother, Rachel. So there is no house here now. The bad guy burned it down. Well, that's what we learned in this scene. And the monologue gets really creepy to do is like, I wanted her. And I couldn't have her. So it's like, so you burned her alive? Like, well, she wasn't supposed to die in the house. He wanted to burn down the house so that she had no choice but to come live with him and that they would get this land together. You just wonder, though. I've done that. I've had some dating mishaps like that you just yeah right where you're like if you say to a woman move in with me why you have your own apartment it's ridiculous and she says i'm not ready for that and you go and you burn down the

whole apartment building next thing it's like 25 people are dead and you're like including her yeah you're like oh my god well that backfired uh dating's crazy it is crazy so glad i'm married and i'll have to yeah oh boy here here yeah all right so along okay so the earth the earth erupts into into steam and smoke and fire shooting out of the ground. It's a geothermal event. It's a geyser type thing. Nobody do that that was on this land. It explains why the cocoa candlenut trees have survived.

And this is why the house burnt down. Build it on an active volcano. And it explains why magically there's never been snow on this hilltop of the grave. There's never been snow on his mother's grave, and this is why. And but Tyson believes magic has occurred, and that's what I think inspires him to confess that he's the murderer of the mother and all his stuff. Well, who should. Yeah.

Oh, now Sheriff Roy Coffee is there with Ben, and I don't know who else. They've overheard this confession. And why they were brought to this parcel of land, there's no explanation. Who knows? They just show up. It's a funny episode's work for Sheriff Coffee, because he's, not in any other scene except for this one, he shows up just to say, it'll take a heap of legal doing to straighten this out in the books, which, yeah, sure will.

Because we didn't straighten it out in the script. Can't imagine how this gets straightened out, as a matter of fact. But the next morning, Sam is riding out in his wagon back on his journeys as a blacksmith. Here we go. His father is sheepishly skulking around, and he thinks Sam must still be mad at him for drunkenly selling the property. But Sam says, come on, old man, get in the wagon. You're my paw. I've got to take care of you, I guess.

Hop up on here. And so he does. Just as you'd expect. There's a song. We hear a song. What? We hear a guitar and a voice. A nice tune, though, I have to say.

A singing cowboy. What? is that the voice of a singing cowboy and along rides up Billy Joe a young handsome singing cowboy on a donkey I think or a small horse yeah but I believe what we learn in the space of like 10 seconds is that he is the son of John Henry Hill They're half-brothers. Yes, whose mother told him, don't take your eyes off that man. And so he's been following him since he was six or seven years old. Wherever John Henry Hill has gone, Billy Joe, the singing cowboy, has gone.

As crazy as this backdoor pilot is, I think I would watch this show. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like what was the idea for the show that every week, it would seem like Sam Hill has a weird supernatural power that then gets explained as a like a weird because that would be a kind of a weird show

and also as they're writing off the father starts saying no it wasn't three men it was like 700 men came to kill him but he swung his hammer so is the dad going to be telling insane tall tales about his son

going to be the bard that records in a song like Roger Miller and Robin Hood that's what the show will be yeah they would every episode would have been a new town that they arrive in the itinerate blacksmith

and his drunken comical father and his handsome singing cowboy younger half-brother come into town and get mixed up in whatever's going. Sam Hill does something that everyone thinks is supernatural and then it's not. Yeah. Was there any research or any info on this? Only that it was David Dor Tort thought it was a backdoor pilot spin-off. What do you think the title of this show was going to be?

Oh, Sam Hill. Probably Sam Hill or what and Sam Hill. The adventures of Sam Hill. Oh, yeah, I bet. Or the legend of Sam. Oh, there you go. That's good. The laughing legend of Sam Hill.

The Laugh and Legend of Sam Hill. A genuinely bizarre episode. Truly. I'm not just Bonanza, like, as of TV, a weird thing that got shown on American TV. Yeah. Yeah. Very strange.

And in the final moment, Haas and Joe are hammering away with sledgehammers as a way of saying goodbye. And Sam Hill is answering. him, I think, with sledge in his own anvil. Did the writer think this show was getting canceled? Yeah, I think we better get ready. Yeah, maybe.

Maybe, because, you know, the following season, they moved it to Sunday nights and it really took off. Up to then, Bonanza wasn't a huge hit. I'm going to use the last episode to forsake the cart rights and get in the back door. Would every episode of Sam Hill start with, they're in some new town, and people go, let's call him, and they start banging on a handvil, and then he shows up. Like that's, you summon, yeah, you summon. you summon Sam Hill.

There's also like a Mary Poppins quality to how he arrives. Yes. Exactly. The weather turns at springtime. Oh my God. Yeah, he's like Mary, yeah, it's a Miss Poppins thing. But again, when did Mary Poppins come out? Later than this, this is 61, I think.

When was Mary goddamn Poppins? Was that a book before? Yeah. It was a book. Yeah. Because a lot of times when you watch these TV shows, especially in the 70s and 80s, you can tell what was going on trend-wise because they're like, oh, suddenly every show had a trucker in it.

Right. In the 70s, right. Or every show had, like, disco in it. Like, you just run after whatever is going on in bigger pop culture. Yeah. The Bond movies were famous for that, too. Oh, yeah. Blacksploitation and Kung Fu. Oh, yeah.

Well, we got to put that in there. Yeah. Hey, how do we do a Kung Fu movie? Well, let's have Sean Connery literally wear a yellow face. Okay. We don't want to think that. that over at all? Yeah.

Too late, we, too late, we already haven't done it yet. The Mary Poppins book came out in 1934, the movie was 1964 after this.

So Walt Disney saw this and said, well, I like that. You can do it. Yeah, it can be done. If they can make Claude Aiken's pixie-ish, there's no excuse

for us not doing it. There are moments when he does look like the way his hair is styled and the way he's made up, he looks like a giant pixie. Yeah. Like a brawny pixie. Or like a Monchi Chi. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And with that weird

smile and then, and he's lit very, it's a, God, what a weird episode this was. Yeah. We would have found out how many people in America are into the brawny pixie live. I wish we knew. We don't know now. I bet that's a category of fetish category. Oh, it has to be the brawny pixie.

Brawny pixie, all right. Manic pixie dreams. and there's Bronny Pissy Dreamboy. The brawny paper towel guy is pretty pretty pretty pretty. He's got a pretty face, actually. He's got like red cheeks and... Yeah. He can cross over to a Marlboro Man.

Oh, yeah. Well, folks, with that, we only have 364 episodes left of bananas. We've managed to do two and one episode, never been done before. But now... Does it feel weird like knowing you're coming to the end now? It does feel weird. Like, it feels like it's, oh, it's... I know.

I'm curious if we'll see a change that the show's going to Sunday nights and they thought, we better step our game up. So next season... I do know. One thing I do know is that the first episode of season three, they felt like no one watching this tonight will have ever seen this before. You've got Saturday night people and Sunday night people and never the twain shall meet. It does feel because so many of these episodes seem to have been scattered random scripts that they retooled that maybe they really... This is kind of like the beginning of Bonanza coming up.

The real locking it in. Well, there's more Altman's down the road. So again, when you see Altman, just start hitting that answer. And I will show up. The sky will start thundering. That's true. We never have explained to the viewers that that is how we signal you coming through one of these episodes. Oh, Altman, hang on.

Bing. Bing. Is that him? There he is. That's a matter of fact. Keep talking. Hold on. I'll be right back. You're no one going to wrap it up.

Where are you going? Oh, okay. Oh, God. I believe, I believe Mutt Taylor has an actual anvil for some reason. Oh, yeah. I think he's going to go get us or something. Or he heard something that we don't and has been summoned. Oh, my God.

Why do you have an anvil? How do you have an anvil? Yeah, don't drop it on the table, you nut. He's about to drop it on a glass table. Wow. Pistol shrimp. This is a, I had four anvils at one time because it was a joke sending the mail to us.

But I wanted them sent to Mark. I'm sorry, someone mailed you anvils? This isn't even the biggest one. But I tried to get them sent to my partner and they all backfired and came to me. That's like, let's like if you hate the postman. You know, let's mail some anvill. Screw that guy.

I can't imagine how you begin. Well, next episode I'm here, you bang that. Open with the thing. banging the anvil that I will be on screen beautiful beautiful all right oh my god what a marathon yeah what a morning live streamers thanks for sticking with us great to have you here as always and listeners we'll see you next time when we start on season three of bonanza with our numbering system in perfect alignment he-ha all right now get you're okay Bananas for Bananasas

for bananas, brought to you by Andy Daly, with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gourley, with The Journeyland, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchikoff, and Wade Ryan. Bananas for Bananasas for Bananasas mixed and edited by Mark McCombie, executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Gordon. We'll see you around.

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