Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #68: “Springtime”

Episode Date: September 17, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Dalton and Mutt are once again joined by Dalton's niece, Markie, to discuss Five Easy Pieces, The Dukes of Hazzard, John Carradine's corpse, and, of course, Season 3, Episode 2, 'Springtime,' in which the Cartwright boys fuck up three simple tasks.    Featuring Matt Gourley & Lily SullivanMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 11/8/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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subscribers on November 27th, 2024. This is Andy Daily. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bonanza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and add free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord, and more. Subscribe today, and now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. I've forever made it. Right. I'm bananas for bananas for bananas.

Oh, wow. Oh, wow. You first you heard his out of phone, then you heard me hit my head against the window. and then you heard a y-haw and then you heard a pistol. I believe that's the NBC call jingle, right? I think it is. Which is a Bonanza Network, right? That's correct.

This is a good thing. We should do that from now on if we have access to a xylophone. It won't be on the regular. Okay, just today. Folks, it's bananas for bananas. That's what we're doing today. Hello, folks. We had a guest, but he canceled on us.

This is the second time this particular guest. Yes, it's canceled. Oh, my God. If it happens a third time, I'll reveal his name. That's a great threat. That's a good threat. You make them sign that contract. That's right.

But what we've got today is your regular host, Dalton Wellcox, Matt Taylor, and Marky? My niece, Marky, is here. Hi. Hi. Marky, how you doing? Not good. Why?

Because I'm here with you guys yet again. What? She's under punishment. I always forget. I know. Yeah, this is weird. There's a lot of places she'd rather be. I think I got to hear about all of them on the way over here today.

Yeah, it's the senior prank day, and I don't get to be there. Yeah, we pulled her out of school for making fake IDs. I was making fake IDs, and then I was putting fish in the walls of the principal's office. Explain that again? As a prank, I was putting fish in the walls. So they would die and rot? Yeah, they were already dead fish. She didn't put live fish in the walls.

That's a whole... Well, I don't know how teens work. What, you think I went and caught the fish myself? I don't know how teens work. I'm more likely to 3D print a fish. Are you out of your mind? What? You go to a 3D film?

No, a 3D printer. Oh, God, it's like speaking to cavemen when I'm here. They got one of these 3-day printers at her school. And it's nothing but dildos from what I hear. Yeah, we were printing dildos. We were printing vibrators. Oh, my God. Yeah, we were, I was charging like $500 a pop.

500 bucks for a dildo? Yeah. That's a big dildo. They were huge. God damn. But it comes through 3D. I mean, that's impressive. Explain this to me because this is this like three-day blinds.

People have been putting up with 2D delos up until now. Oh, yeah. It's thin and can give you a paper cut. Begging our day. It's like three-day blinds or three-day suits. What's what a three-day printer is? You can get a printer in three days. Three-D.

Oh, three. It's in the third dimension. Okay. You know how, oh, I can't explain it. I was printing dildos the size of small children. What an interesting comparison. What an interesting size analog. And then obviously I was making like big batches of pepper spray in the bathtubs.

Wait, what? Of the gym. I'm in the trouble for that too. Oh, yeah, their gym has bathtubs. They don't have any showers No showers Hit the tubs the coach says Are they multi-person

Tubbs or they want to? Yeah, they're like big hot tubs Really? It's an old school And we don't do cold plunges anymore We got in trouble For doing too many cold plunges Oh yeah

Because you know what Sometimes your muscles can tense up In a cold plunge So that kept happening right And then they can't They literally can't move their muscles Their muscles have gone into a state of shock You had like

Wasn't there three drownings or just two? Yeah, we had three drownings and two heart attacks. Right. Wait, so you've got communal teenage hot tubs and dildos the size of small children at your high school. They need to shut this fucking school down. Can you believe this? It's a Montessori school. I'll bet it is. You didn't have to say that. My God. Monosary school for adults, yeah. Yeah, they just show up and every day they tell them you self-direct yourself. Here's all the materials you have to get in. Burning man for kids. Yeah, just about.

Uh-huh. Yeah, it is, yeah. So we pulled her out, and she's not getting any less educated. I'll tell you that. It's probably getting more educated. No, I think my brain is atrophying, being here. Well, that's so boring. Because this episode we're going to talk about was full of moral lessons.

Oh, my God. It really was. In matter of fact, Mark, you and I haven't really discussed the episode at all on the way. I said, let's save it for the podcast. And I said, yes, please, let's never discuss it. The less the better, she says. Because I was thinking to myself, I'll bet you she liked this one. This one I'll bet you she like.

It's funny as hell. I know. Funny? Yeah. And it's got little subblocks and vignettes and little mini plays. It's like three stories or more in one episode. Man, it was good. It's like an episode of the love boat.

It's like the boat, love big ship, just not on a boat. Or no love. Yeah. Not a lot of love. It's like those guys that do stuff in black and white. on TikTok the guys who like hit each other and they're in black and white on TikTok.

Mark's brothers? Three Stooges? Who? Yeah. The Three Stooges? Yeah, that's what I was like. People are putting the three stooges on TikTok as ever you're telling me. Yeah.

Really? And then they're they're cutting it with like other stuff. What? Jesus Christ. My God. They're like on the side they're showing like, you know, like someone playing with like Gack and like cutting. Why?

Because you can't watch one thing at one time. You have to watch multiple things on multiple screens. A given TikTok will be multiple TikToks. Yeah. Can you watch more than one TikTok at a time? Yeah, you can. That's what I'm saying. Oh, but I'm saying if I put up a TikTok that has two TikToks in it,

can you watch a second TikTok, maybe that also has two TikToks while you're watching my TikTok? Someone who has to stitch your TikTok. You stitch my TikTok. These are in a grid? Yeah. And at what point do you get a TikTok to? Tick-Tock what? Tick-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-K-T-K-T-T-T-T.

Yes, it is. But I actually said Tick-Tac Doe, which is an old-fashioned game show starring Wink Martindale. No shit. You don't remember that? Oh, Doe, as in money? Yeah. Damn. Jesus Christ.

That man's name was Wink. That was a good time. You can name a man. Every time I think he's dead, someone tells me he's alive. Oh, yeah. Do you think he's dead right? now? I always do. He's alive. He is. It happened again. My God. Really? He thought he was dead and I told him he was alive. I don't know. It's true or not.

This episode is episode number. This is the 68th episode of Bonanza. And it's called Springtime. And it's the second season of the third episode. Just go the way around. And it's fantastic. I tell you, it's funny as hell. It's got mud wrestling. It's got all the members of the regular cast. This episode seems almost like it was written to be an episode of Bonanza. No, it's close. Almost. It's close. Pretty close. Nope, not really any action. Right.

So boring. What? So boring. No, it wasn't. That's exactly what it wasn't this time. It wasn't boring at all. Would it help if you watched multiple episodes at the same time, like on TikTok? I would rather watch all of Bonanza, like, in multiple screens, like, every single episode at one time.

And that would be the only way of Bonanza is not boring. I think you'd have a hard time following it. Exactly. Because there's 400-some episodes, they'd be so small. it'd be like pixel art and you'd end up just seeing a big face of hops. Everything's so slow

I think I would be able to follow every single plot of every single life. Take it easy. I could believe that you could maybe watch two episodes of Bonanza at the same time. Maybe two at tops.

I think you could at least watch four at the same time. And that would be able to follow. Part of it is the meditative quality. Yes, indeed. Well, I don't recommend it but I think maybe it would be an experiment to see if you could follow two stories and ones. Not four.

Well, this episode aired October the 1st, 1961. The number one song in the country was Take Good Care of My Baby by Bobby V. Same as Last Week. The number one movie, same as last week, was come September with Rock Hudson and Gina Lola Bridgeta. Bobby Darren and Sandra D was in it, too. I always had a troubled that name, too. So I always say, it's Lola Brigida, but I always say Lola de Brigida. Lola de Brigida.

Why do I put a dud in there? No, I like that better. Gina, Gina de Lola de Brigida. DeGina de Lola de Brigida. There we go. De Brigida too far. Beautiful. The number one country song, walk on by by Leroy Van Dyck.

Now this head of, you know that one. You know that one. It's got a record break in 19 weeks at number one, so settle in and get used to it. Oh, so if the next 19 episodes is going to be. going to be walk on by. Yeah. Wow. Lord help us.

Mark play a little of it in the background for us. Oh, that's lovely. Isn't that? That's a nice song. You like that song? No. Well, you can't hear right now.

I know. I don't like it. I know. I don't like it. You don't have to say no. I already can tell. I hate it. Doesn't work that way.

19 weeks at number one was a record that stood for 51 years. This is a song about a guy telling his ex-girlfriend, play it cool when we see one another on the street and I'm with my current girlfriend because you and I are we're not through saying goodbye this is like that fame here you go it's like that famous meme with the guy and the girl walking and he's looking like at the other girl oh yeah you know what I'm talking about memes you know what memes are I faintly yeah that's from like slightly older those are like old people stuff you don't even know what a meme is so this is 51 years so 2002 is when

something beat it? Yeah. I knew you was going to ask what beat it and I didn't write it that. Oh, come on. 2002 what would that be? I knew I knew that was going to happen. It's too bad you can't do a Google search because it would take fucking... I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. Here's what I'm going to do it.

This is it take 45 minutes. What? Country charts. I'm going to select Walk on by by Leroy Van Dyck. I'm on Command C. I'm going to open a safari. Oh, dear.

It takes a while. You're killing me with the safari. You still didn't download Chrome. What? No. You had a whole week. How am I supposed to download it? He did start. It's taking his internet a week to download it.

Yeah, man. All right, now I'm going to click on the Wikipedia page. Put in WWW though first. Oh, shit. No. No. No, it took me right to Wikipedia. And it says here.

Okay, I'm prepared to tell you now what, but you, I never heard of this song. You want to take a guess? I'll tell you, 51 years. Yeah, it was 2000, what? Oh, oh, 2013. Oh, I had the math wrong? You've done, made your math wrong, I guess. Is it?

Burry me and satin put me to the river. What's that song? Oh, bury me and Souttenham and took me to the river? I don't know. Do you want to make a guess what in 2013 became the most number one weeks? It's a country song? You like country? I think it would be, I don't know about you.

Feeling 22. Everything will be alright. What's that? I don't know that song. Are you singing or are you having? Did your mouth just break? What's wrong with your throat? Are you assaulting me?

I don't know about you. Stop that. What is? That's not music. That's Taylor. Are you out of your mind? Mutt Taylor? No.

That's not me. Taylor Swift. It was the song. Queen of the world. Sure, she could have it. It's Cruise by Florida Georgia Line. I ain't never heard of Florida Georgia Line. Which one's the song and which one's the band?

I don't know. Florida Georgia Line. Tyler Hubbard and Brian Kelly Hubbard's from Georgia Kelly's from Florida All right, let's get back to what we're supposed to talk about Meet at the border and write little songs That in 2013 beat this song

Anyway, here we go You want to oh wait a minute Celebrity Birthday Day Gary Ablett Sr. Australian Rules Football Forward It was born on October 1st, 1961 That's a celebrity birthday Thank you for your patience.

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Discover RBC-led internships, scholarships, networking opportunities and upskilling programs designed to help you launch or further your career at rbc your idea of career happens here learn more at rbc.com slash open doors fun facts this episode let me tell you right now had the best guest cast of all time this real impressive guest stars in this one now for one thing just about everybody in this episode was also in the Grapes of Wrath and the man who shot Liberty Valance. It was a real Liberty Valence reunion on the sit. We start with John Caradine.

Now, you might not know who John Caradine is, but surely you know his kids, Keith and David Garradee, right? Yeah, there you go. That's for the younger people. I actually do know about David Caradine. You do? Yeah. Well, okay, I bet you I know the one thing you know about David Caradine was his wonderful show, Kung Fu. It has to be.

No, I know how he died. How'd he die? He was jacking off and exasciating him so. What? Really? He was exasciating. He did that autoerotic asphyxiation. How old was he when he died?

An old man. Yeah, he was like 50. Oh. I think he's a bit older. Autorotic asphyxiation, everybody will tell you as a young man's game. yeah you don't see many young men dying from it exactly yeah because you're i guess if you're putting plastic over your head you're asking what are you doing what are you doing oh no no no i can i don't have aged out of it but it's you get into a noose oh a news

you tie it to a doorknob or something or in the case of david caradine a hotel closet it's amazing that closet, like, was able to hold all that weight, you know. Right. Isn't this also how Michael Hutchins died from NXS and wasn't it also in a hotel? I think so. They was together. No, here's what I really think. I really think nobody ever dies about erotic asphyxiation.

I think they hang themselves in the nude and then the coroner just has a little fun with it. I think they die of coming. Die of coming. Wow. What a way to go. Well, that's how David Caradine died. But that had nothing to do with this episode of Banza. His father, John Caradine, it lived.

And we saw him in a wonderful film. It was half good, half bad. It was called Billy the Kid Meets Dracula. The Billy the Kid part was real good. Dracula part was not good. This was a movie where you know how Dracula, he's only supposed to be out at night most of times. Yeah.

And this movie, a lot of the scenes took place at night. And they said that it was nighttime. But they went ahead and shot in the daytime. In Twilight, Edward can go outside during the day. Well, that's the truth. Most vampires do go out during the daytime. That is true. I thought they turned diamonds if they go in the sun.

Yeah. Well, yeah, in the sun. Oh, you can't be in the sun. He just has to be shaded from the sun? Yeah. But even if, like, so does he wear gloves and a face mask? Um, yeah. I've encountered vampires who are sunbathing by the side of a hotel pool.

God damn it. What? Yep, and telling you, no, these seats are taken. Sounds like you went to Palm Springs or something. I have been to goddamn Palm Springs, seen vampire sunbathing, telling me you can't have this chair. That's a vampire. All right. What else will tell you about John Carradine?

So many things. He claims to have been in over 450 movies, but they can only find 220 of them. They're still looking. Every day they come up with one. It's like exoplanets. Hey, here's a weird story. David Caradine wrote a book, I think before he died. David? Huh? David.

Yeah. And he's talking about John Caradine's death, his death of his father. He's, here's a big, I'll read a big long quote. We carted the coffin over to our house and opened it up. I looked down at him and the undertaker had put a demonic artificial grin on his face, like nothing I had ever seen him do in real life except in a horror film. I reached out and using the sculptural skills I had learned from him, I remodeled his face. to be more naturally like him. Then I poured half a bottle of J&B Scotch,

his favor, down his throat. And we had a wake. And then he was buried at sea between California and Catalina Island, which sounds like they just dropped him over. I don't believe civilians can be buried at sea. I think they tossed him over. I think so.

Everything about that is strange. Yeah. I don't know that you're able to just go ahead and handle the face of a dead. dead person. And what do you mean you poured scotch down the throat of a dead man? Sounds like RFK style style for some reason, like moving the bear around. He's going to take good care of us.

He is. No, you guys, I'm telling you. He's going to finally get rid of hospitals. Oh, no. Yeah, man. I really need to change your algorithm. Sponsored by NBC. He was in.

Here's some of John Caradine's movies. Dr. Dracula. Who would go to that doctor? Frankenstein Island. Who would go to that island? Vampire hookers. Who would go to those hookers? Yes.

Six kittens go to college. Oh, that sounds good. I'd go to that college. I'd go to that college. Alibaba goes to town. And the mummy's ghost. I never thought about that. So a mummy is a dead person.

And now they've got a ghost. But then now the mummy comes to life, all wrapped up in bandages, and it's coming at you. Right. What about how they get along between the two of them? Do they ever meet? Do they ever meet? What if does Frankenstein meet all his assorted ghosts? Oh, the ghosts of the various parts of his body.

Right. It's a zombie. I can't believe that. You mean each part of his body has a different ghost? Well, it would have to because each part of his body comes from a different person. Wow. Yeah, I never thought of it that way. You're interested now, huh?

Yeah, now that we're talking about dead bodies, yeah. Oh, don't worry. We'll get to this. I like true crime. Oh, she's always on about the goddamn true crime. Really? Don't get her started on the fucking Nightstalker. Yeah, did you hear about the Nightstocker.

Yeah, I did. My friend Matt lived in that neighborhood when that was going on. What? Yeah. Really? Holy shit. Yeah, one of his stomping grounds, yeah. What?

Yeah, you're scared as hell. Oh, Jesus Christ. He's a fucking wimp. Who, the Nightstalker? No, Matt. Oh, Matt. Yeah. Nightstock, he ain't a wimp.

It's a great American. What's the true crime we've talked about on here? Was it, uh, hop sing? Hmm? Didn't he something happen to him? He died in a pottery explosion. There's someone else that died. The kiln killed him?

Died in a strange, well, I mean, I guess a lot of the actors here. He was kilmed. He was killed. He was killed by a kiln. Yeah, we haven't had a peculiar death of a guest star in a little while on this show. Let's do that. Let's get one going on. All right.

We've had a few in the past. But he's all strokes and heart attacks lately, boring. This guy, Parley, was played by John Quaylin, who's Scandinavian actor. He's one of the guys, along with John Carradine, who's in Grapes of Wrath. He's a bunch of great things. He's in his girl Friday in Casablanca. He's in Casablanca. Who's he in Casablanca?

Who's he in the show? Huh? Oh, he's the guy. He's the squatter, the nice guy's squatter on the land. Little Joe tries to kick off. And he's a. He has a very emotional scene talking about the destruction of his farm by the bank and the grapes of wrath. And then he's a jewelry-selling Norwegian resistance member in Casablanca.

He often performed in a Scandinavian accent for comical effect, did John Quaid. Those are funny accents. Yes. Now, he was also in the movie Fraser the Sensuous Lion, which we have discussed on this show before. Yeah. But, yeah, a long time ago. It's a true story. there was a line

Dude in a Scandinavian accent It's a true story There was a line I can't do That's pretty good You still have your accent I know Well you also have a Scandinavian

It's pretty amazing actually That's like a mummy with a ghost Well thank you This line was 19 years old Which is like 80 in human years When they adopted them at the lion country Drive through Safari Park in Laguna Hills And he was toothless, and he had a problem where his tongue would never go in his mouth.

His tongue was just always hanging out of his mouth. But somehow all these lionesses couldn't get their mitts off of him. And he sired 35 cubs in like a year or a half or something like that. At that age? Yeah. Whoa. My God. And attendance at that Safari Park went up 20% people were flocking in there to watch a lion fuck.

Oh, my God. Like Elon Musk. How is it like Elon Musk? Why? What? He's getting so many children with different women. Oh, right, yeah. That's right, yes.

And people flock to see him look like an idiot. He's also going to take good care of us. And then when he died, the park had to shut down. They were just like, forget it. We can't go on without that fucking line. And then they made a movie, and John Clayland was in it. Are you glad you know that? What did he play?

In the movie? Well, I don't know. Damon, I knew he was going to have. me then all right don't worry about that one please for the love of God don't Google it it's going to take 45 minutes put in www.gookle.com no please stop

just don't don't okay don't do it I think mud I can't do that because I haven't downloaded Chrome oh my God you still got Netscape though right sure this morning when I came in to his office he was on Facebook yeah typing a big

really big post and I was like how did you get on here you're not allowed on here anymore it's what she says she keeps changing my fucking password so how did you get on it? I called Facebook yeah he asked to speak with Mark

which is insane they put me to somebody not Mark I don't know it was Tom from Myspace it's a massive company you're not going to get to speak directly to the CEO I spoke to somebody a man and I said is this

Mark, and he said, what's your problem? And I told him all about it. I think it was. Jenna Engstrom is mysterious. She could be still alive at the age of 82. She played Anne, the pregnant lady, in this episode. She quit acting in 1964 due to health problems. Then why is she still fucking alive?

This has happened to a lot of women. She should have died. Yeah. On Bonanza, they retire? Yeah. And then they get something's wrong. I mean, you could tell from a lot of the dialogue that something's wrong. With how they treat women. Oh, I see what you're trying to suggest that there was something about being an actress in the 60s that was unpleasant? Yeah. No. I think it was nice. Jesus Christ. But she got replaced in two different shows because she was sick. And then she dropped out of acting altogether because of being sick. And she's still fucking alive.

I think it's bullshit. Man, the greatest trick the devil ever played is not knowing that he's dead. Yeah. See what I mean? No. Not at all. Well, you're not even trying to. Yeah.

Denver Pyle is in this episode. He played the old man who the pump broke. He was Jesse Duke in the Dukes of Hazard. That's right. You ever see the Dukes of Hazard? Oh, yeah. Uncle Jesse. Yeah, he was a great damn show.

show. It's about a couple of cousins who would have preferred it if the South had won the Civil War. They got a big Confederate flag on the top of their car, which is called the General Lee. Yeah. Just the good old boys. Beauty. Never meaning no harm.

Sounds really offensive and bad. Well, you might think so, but John Schneider, who played Luke, I think, or Bo Duke, he's on YouTube every once and a while. He'll make a nice YouTube video, and he explained that it wasn't racist. That doesn't mean anything. Well, he explained it, though, on his YouTube channel.

But Waylon Jennings did the song, so you must know him. I know. Taylor, country-wise. But Taylor, country firebrand out. Taylor Swift. Number one country star. You know, Duckby brought up Taylor Swift the other day and says, I want to listen to Sailor Twift. Just about the cutest thing I ever heard.

I'd rather hear Swaler Twift. I still didn't put it on. I put on some mutt, Taylor. Here's what I done. I went on, I was reading about Dukes of Hesit on YouTube. And they said that. Sorry, you're reading about it on YouTube. Yes.

Okay. And they said that. Like a Star Wars, like. Crawl. Oh, they got comments on there. People say all kind of smart things. Not too long ago in a county. Kind of far away.

Now, the general lead jumped a lot. I forgot this, that what it does a lot of times, is it'll get into a jump and then it'll freeze in the air and then they'll cut the commercial and when it comes and lands. But that's when Waylon Jennings comes and says, let's see how the old Duke boys are going to get out of this one. Yeah. But didn't it explain that at some point they started using miniatures rather than really jump in the car. Oh, fun.

No, I says I need to see that. And I went and I watched, this is a 45-minute video of every jump that the General Lee ever made. You need to get a job. He has a job. It's a podcast. Yeah, very important work. So I found, I don't, I couldn't find any that looked to me like miniatures, but we'll watch a couple of them here.

Y'all ain't going to believe what happens. I got an idea. What? Oh, no. Come on. Give it a shot. That's a miniature. A hundred percent's a miniature.

That's absolutely a miniature. I got miniature. I got miniature d'ar. You think that's a miniature? I know for a fact it is. What do you mean? You weren't there. Oh, look, there's that hot Francesca.

I know. That's for a later episode. I was making visual age for our bonus name. That's a hundred. 3821 is the next time code I want to go to a minute. Oh, my God. You can literally create a link that goes straight to the time stamp. You know this.

Yeah, you can't. 38. Not because it's the same video. I know. That's what I'm saying. We've got to change your algorithm. Here's another one. That ain't a miniature as well.

That ain't a miniature. That ain't a miniature. The dirt is too big. The dirt looks. Try to cut through Shorty Shanks, please. Cale? Go for it. This is all miniatures, too.

That's a miniature. That's a miniature. That's not. That is. That is a miniature. That's for sure. 100%. That is, too.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Why do you think that's a miniature? I think that's, they've got the car through the air jumping over those buildings. They've got a toy card through the air. He's a toy car because you see the boys in the car. I think it's AI.

It cannot be AI. It's 1979. When they're jumping, they're just little miniature boys. They're not moving. Folks, I know folks who listen to the podcast, can't understand this. We've got Bo and Luke in the General League. And they're talking to one another. Oh, yeah.

They cut away. They're human man. They're editing it. And then they decide, they have a little dialogue where they talk about, can we jump over that building in our car? Fuck it. Let's try it. Because what's the worst that could happen?

Death. And then they do. They got hit some kind of ramp or, well, you don't see any kind of a upslope that they go on. But anyway, somehow or other, they jump over a building in the car. And then they land and they, you see the guys go, whoa, whoa. And then they drive. I'm on. Now, just because I work in the movie, and I was also a stuntman for a while, so I

know how this done. That's done by editing. Yes. They shoot it separately. Shoot what, separate to what? The life size versus the miniatures. Yeah, they went to Chad GBT, and they basically put in what they wanted, and I created a video. Chit GPT. It's really simple. I don't think so. My opinion is I don't think so. Hey, I got another. scene i want to show you okay mama hackett who's married to denver pile on this episode she's in one of the most famous scenes of all time and i did select and command c i'm going to go back over to

youtube because it's a youtube this is literally brutal command v in the search no i didn't do it in youtube i did it at the top of safari doesn't matter look at that you ever see this scene we might just watch the whole thing i saw you posted about this it's two minutes long Isn't that an old president, this guy? What are you talking about? That's Jack Nicholson. He's so good. I've never seen this movie.

You haven't? Have you ever seen this scene? No. This is the famous chicken salad scene from Five Easy Pieces. And the woman who's in this episode of Bonanza is in this scene. And we're going to watch maybe the whole lot. Jesus. I'd like a plain omelet, no potatoes, tomatoes instead, a cup of coffee and meat toast.

reasonable. She's just no substitutions. Only what's on the menu. You can have a number two, a plain omelet. It comes with cottage fries and rolls. Cottage fries, what the hell? I know what it comes with, but it's not what I want. I'll come back when you make up your mind.

Wait a minute. I have made up my mind. It's like a plain omelet. No potatoes on the plate. A cup of coffee and a side order of wheat toast. I'm sorry, we don't have any side orders of toast I'll be of. English muffin or a coffee roll. Is that close?

to falker. You don't make sides of what in the toast, you make sandwiches, don't you? Would you like to talk to the manager? Hey, Mac. Well, shut up. You've got bread. That's all the women get treated. I don't know.

This waitress is talking a lot. I'd like an omelet, plain, and a chicken salad sandwich on wheat toast. Here we go. No mayonnaise, no butter, no lettuce, and a cup of coffee. Number two, chicken salt sand. Whole of butter. the lettuce, the mayonnaise, and a cup of coffee. Anything else?

Yeah, now all you have to do is hold the chicken. Bring me the toast. Give me a check for the chicken salad sandwich and you haven't broken any rules. You want me to hold the chicken, huh? I want you to hold it between your knees. Whoa! You see that sign, sir?

Yes, you all have to leave. I'm not taking any more of your smartness and sarcasm. You see this sign? Jesus Christ Wow That was uncalled for What's going on in that movie And where was that filmed?

I don't know It's a nice diner You know I worked at a diner Oh yeah, that's right Yeah and as a summer job And that's basically what serving boomers is like Oh She was an unreasonable party there

She says he wants a goddamn piece of toast She says I can't give it to you It's not her fault That the rules are in place at the restaurant That's the manager's fault that they came up with these unreasonable rules. All right, we're almost done with fun facts. I don't know if we'll have time to get to the episode at all today.

But forget it. I'm not going to tell you about Clegg Hoyt. You don't deserve it. What? That's what I've been waiting for. Okay, all right. Clegg Hoyt, who played the livery owner at the beginning. We've talked about him once before because he's on the episode of this before.

He does a funny little dance. and Jack Nicholson, who we just watched, was a very good friend of his. And so in the movie of Batman, Jack Nicholson improvised a moment where he did his friend, Clayg Hoyt's little funny dance. This little one when he's at the art museum or, you know, when he's at Vicki Vale's apartment and he's walking out there and he does a big raspberry and he flaps his wings, it's called Bird Dance. He's impersonating Clegg Hoyt, who's in this episode of B'ams. And you were not going to read that fun fact. That's true. Can you believe this?

I know I wasn't. Yeah, I wish you didn't read it. Here's what I wrote for Claude Johnson, who played Paul. Not interesting. He quit acting at 40 and lived to 71. No, good for him. Boring. I guess so.

31 years. Boring. All right, shall we get into recap on this episode now? Not particularly little. Well, we don't have that much time. We'll do what we'll find. It's really not much to say. What do you mean?

There's everything to say. Feeling unsure in your career path, RBC has programs and resources to help you open the door. Discover RBC-led internships, scholarships, networking opportunities and upskilling programs designed to help you launch or further your career. At RBC, your idea of career happens here. Learn more at RBC.com slash open doors.

Thank you for your patience. Your call is important. Can't take being on hold anymore. Fizz is 100% online so you can make the switch in minutes. Mobile plans start at $15 a month. Certain conditions apply. Details at Fizz.ca. This is the first episode as far as I know that ever begun with one of the characters doing some narrate voiceover narration at the beginning of the episode.

Ben waxes rhapsodic about springtime. What are you going to read us something on your phone? I just want to say that diner from five EV pieces was a Denny's restaurant located at 3652 Glenwood Drive in Eugene, Oregon. Well, that's too far to get two for lunch today. Well, okay, old hoss, he's got a bunch of poles of wood, and he's trying to, the mules won't bring it through the mud. They're stuck in a puddle, and it can't get through, and then he gets them, and then they do, and then he belly flops in the water. It looks like he did it on purpose. but now he's covered in muddy water and he's all mad and his wagon full of poles

goes without him to Adam and Joe who have their shirts open and they're stacking poles. That's one of the jobs they got today on the Ponderosa stacking poles. Covered in bronzer. Is that right? Yeah. Okay. The amount of bronzer that gets used on this show is outrageous. Yeah, I noticed when Adam had his shirt off.

I didn't know. I didn't think that they put makeup on his body. Did they? Well. He does have his shirt. This time, he's got his shirt unbuttoned all the way down to his belt in this scene. Yeah. And then you're thinking, why?

Why doesn't he just take it off? Well, they're saving that for later, ladies. It's just crazy that they don't mention how all the brothers are having sex with each other. What are you talking? Why? I saw them wrestling in the mud together. They do a lot of mud wrestling, the three of them in this episode. They're not blood related anyway.

They probably. Yeah, they are. They got the same father. Half brothers. Half brothers can't have sex You can have sex You can do just hand jobs How dear? Yeah, that's right

But they don't even do that These poor men are virgins Okay, the stacking poles They have a big fight They're all mad at each other Oh yeah Hoss turned to look up at some stock footage of geese

And hit Joe Who knocked over at him And man, the music tells you when to laugh Yeah, it does And I laughed a bunch I would have laughed anyway, but it helps. It does help. Because I think I was able to laugh a couple seconds sooner.

Yeah, yeah, right. Bram-a-de-bib-boop-de-boop. Then we got, well, John Carradine is haggling over a wagon in Virginia City, and Ben is laughing. That was, we didn't need that scene. Is Robert Carradine? John Carradine. No, I know.

Is Robert Carradine related to the other Carradine? He had five sons who all became actors. And Robert is one of them? I'll go back up further in my documents. I wrote all their names down. He's from Revenge of the Nerves. Yeah, David, Robert, Keith, and Bruce. Bruce, Kerrity.

You know, he's the grandfather of Martha Plympton. Who's Martha Plimson's dad? I thought her dad was George Plimpton. Oh, so there's a lady, caridine? Something. So now, Jed and Ben are riding out to the Ponderosa. Seems as they've known one another's for a long time And Jed has a way

If he says these unique idioms You never heard before He's kissing things like The early bird catches the worm Right? He's got these sands Really unique He says time waits for no man Really

You have? I haven't heard that before You have? Yeah I ain't heard these before He's got all these idioms It will come upon the brothers Fighting in the mud Adam working really hard

To keep his two pay dry It was literally 10 minutes of the guy's fighting in the mud if you count the first scene in the second scene. Pretty great, huh? Pretty great, yeah. This is why you wouldn't want to watch, you know, other episodes because you wouldn't, you'd miss this. I was screaming at the TV. I get it. They're fighting in the mud. Yeah. They want to make sure you get it because it knows day, well, you don't, I mean, from the girl who likes child-sized dildos, you don't like watching a bunch of sweaty men roll around in the mud? I didn't have a problem with that. I'm just saying it was like, 10 minutes. It's like, you would have preferred if it was 15 or 20.

The MTV, MTV generation. Yeah, that's what it is. We're pretty asexual in my generation. Yeah, I know. Oh, that's what they keep saying. Pick us. The dildos are for jokes, not for sex. I don't care which side, just pick a side.

I'm going to, yeah. Here, I'm going to move this over here because I just realize I'm giving the live streamers my back. Well, that's all right. They don't mind. All right. Now what happens now? But I can't read it. Whist, oh, Widdler, it's springtime.

These poor guys have been working so hard. winter it's been raining and snowing and they're going crazy and this old man jed who is he where he come from why is he here i don't know but he gets a log thrown on his foot and it hurts it smashes his foot the doctor comes later and he diagnoses him with a very painful foot which i guess was fatal back then could have been could have been he puts him a bit and the doctor says i can't tell you if it's broken or if it's it probably he's an old man i don't know if it's bad that he's hurt his foot or good i can't i don't know and he leaves i hope that doctor didn't come from a long way away to say that doctor like pretty old too i know i was like

he was in another episode he played elizabeth's doctor in elizabeth my darling an episode that takes place like 25 years before in new england right all right well okay here's what happens though the boys ben is so mad at his boys he says we're going to go up there and we're going to tell them whatever it is that you came to this part of the country to do, we're going to do it for you while you're laid up on your foot. But we see that Jed's foot is actually pretty well. He's fine. He's wearing the biggest nightgown I've ever seen. Yes. Yeah. He might have borrowed it from Haas. He's up there. Now he's faking that his foot hurts and he hands out these assignments to the boys. He says, Joe, I need you to kick a squatter off my land.

Hoss, I need you to, what's Hoss got to do? Buy the property from that young couple. Oh, yeah. I need it for $1,000. I like what he said he needed it for. I have to find it in my notes. A fattening station for his cattle. Right.

I got to buy a fattening station. And then he tells Adam, Adam, you need to kick off these people off my land who haven't paid their rent or get the rent out of them or something like that. so these are three tough jobs and the brothers head off to do their jobs and little joe rides up on this squatter who's just on jed's land having a nice time and little joe's there he pulls his gun on him and he threatens to shoot him to death if he doesn't get off this land yeah but the fellow charms him oh he catches him in a bear trap this is funny and because and the music comes up yeah did you hear the music didn't you hear the music And didn't you see how my old Michael landed, wow, he's going crazy.

He felt funny. I guess there's not enough dildos in this for you. He was swinging upside down for, I think, 15 minutes. But then he has a total change of outlook on the world because this fellow parley is all about how, well, you just, you fish and you work the land and you have a nice time and it's a beautiful day in the springtime. And who cares who owns the land. It ain't being worked anyway. and Joe subscribes to his point of view and just says forget it

I ain't knocking you off this land who cares let's go catch fish together and he goes full Tom Sawyer rolls his pants up and falls over a log just having a great damn time they're bed rotting together as I like to say what's that mean

that means you just lay and you chill bed rotting oh I like that it's a term that's what she does all weekend yeah I bed rot Disgusting It's good for you Now, Haas goes over to the

Where it is this young couple And I did find this woman Frustrating Oh my God She's what? She was shrill She was pregnant Yeah, she's pregnant

She was pregnant That's number one She's pregnant And she says Oh, I don't like living out here On this farm It's been such a hard winter Let's go back to

I don't know where she wants to go Back to the city. She says she's a city girl. The city, she says she's a city girl. I don't want to live out of here anymore. We've got to go. And a horse is here offering us a ton of money for our land because the guy with the smash foot wants to make a fattening station.

Let's take his money and go back to the city. And her husband, but that would be like, what does he say? It'd be like killing a part of my body to lose this land or something like that. He loves this land so much. So, all right, I'm on his side. What? No question about it. when Haas says he's like he's or no the husband says he's sorry she's just so upset because she's scared about having a baby alone right and then Haas is like well you know how silly women can be right it's just the two of them out there on the farm and a couple of stray dogs and she's going to have to give birth I guess out in the stable or something like that she's just scared to give birth by herself yeah me too I would be

And he can't help either because the man shouldn't see those things. No man ever has. No. So she's literally going to be alone spitting out a baby. Well, they give her a mirror so she can talk to herself or see something. That's a good idea. Yeah. If there's one available.

Yeah. Yeah. So cool. What did that, I don't mean to jump ahead, but that fella say, isn't that just like a woman? Yeah. When Adam's riding up. But what was it she was doing that was such like a woman? She was like, we don't have enough food to feed him.

He's like, just like a woman to be a fucking idiot. Well, you said it. I don't even agree with that. But this poor man, I guess he gets so much fucking Hector in from this wife of his that he eventually turns around. He says to Haas, okay, well, take your thousand dollars and we'll leave the land. And then they pack up all their earthly belongings in a wagon. Everything piled high on this way.

And then she says, I change my mind. Well, because there was a litter of puppies, so I completely understand. I would have done the exact same thing. Isn't that just like a woman? My God. Last episode, there was a litter of kittens that came out of nowhere. I was like, if this keeps happening, I guess I could watch another episode. There you go.

But you need the tiny puppies from the beginning until the end. Working on the set of Bonanza owns a pet store. They keep bringing all these in. What is going on? I guess that's what it was. But the dog gave birth to puppies. She's got a little puppy. And she says, never mind.

We can't leave now back to the city. We've got to stay here with these puppies. Unpack everything off the wagon. Understandable. Completely understandable. Not only is she holding one little puppy. Then she's sitting there and multiple little puppies come out of her. Take the puppies with you.

Her sweater. Heaven. I was like, that is heaven to me. Really? Yeah. Why can't they take the puppies? Because in the city, you can't have multiple puppies. I see people walking dogs all the time in the city.

Yeah. Ain't you seen the movie pets? The Secret Life of Pets? Yeah, I guess, yeah. Okay. But you just toss those puppies on the pile of all your other shit and get back to town. Right. But I don't know.

It's just the, I've changed my mind this way, that way, this way. Man. She's probably on her period, but she's pregnant. I have told you again and again Don't talk about that stuff It's natural Oh Lord, don't talk about it All right

So now, what is it? Don't know what are you doing? I've heard people say that Adam rides up on Ted Hackett He says his name is Ted And her name is Mama And they've got two silent children They don't say a word.

Their names are Ray and Barbara. Adam reveals that Jed sent them here to get the rent. These two probably they're not going to survive out here. A pump broke and they're hopeless. And they can't buy the, what do they need to, a cylinder? You've got to fix a pump and buy a cylinder. They can't do either of those things. So they just decided to die.

it seems like they've just decided to die of thirst yeah uh but adam rides up and he says I'm here to get the rent out of he ain't paid the rent and they're like well we can't because we're dying a thirst and we have no plan B and Adam just jumps right into it and he solves their problems didn't they like literally they had all the materials to like fix the thing I was like okay yeah this slum lord Yeah, my God. Yeah, I would be someone. He fixes their pump and he says he's going to ride into town.

And she says, oh, it's the saddest, this is saddest thing in the world. You saw me crying. It's when Ted is patting. He was sobbing. No, I was. I was because he's patting his pockets and she says, he's checking his pockets for his tobacco. Oh, yeah. He can't afford to buy any tobacco.

But every day he goes patting around his pockets looking for some tobacco. A man shouldn't have to do that. Not my man anyway. I was like he has anxiety. Put him on medication. Back then it would have been a lot of them. And he would have become addicted to heroin. Yeah, good.

That would have solved their problem. But, and then Adam says when he's going into town to buy the cylinder, he says, I might just find some tobacco too. Isn't that beautiful? And then he goes, y'-ha. Oh, yeah. He gave a big old y'-ha-ha. And that goddamn waitress from five easy pieces says,

why did he do that? And Jesse Hazard says, I guess he just wanted you. And then he gives it a try. He gives a big old. Then he goes to build the thing that he could have built the whole time with the materials he has. Yes. He needed the inspiration and the promise of tobacco. That's what it was.

It's a teacher man to fish situation. We didn't even mention how Haas got the puppy. Oh, right. Oh, yeah. Hoss says, I'll tell you what, you can keep, what does he say? He says, no, I'm not going to give you the deed. Oh, right. But I'll trade you the deed for that puppy.

And he pulled a fake out. He seems like he was going to be a meanie, but he turned up to be a softie. He says, you can keep your land, and I'll rip up the bill of sale, even though I bought it from your fair and swear last night. And then I had to unpack all that stuff. Oh, that's the worst part. If I was Hollis, I would have been like, now, I helped you load the shit. You're taking it down yourself. I hate moving.

I would not do that. Yeah. And then he says, but I want to take a puppy with me. And he does. Good trade. Fair trade. I would trade a house for a puppy. No problem.

So I expect to see six kittens and a puppy on the Ponderosa from here on out. Yep. They must be. They're bettery. Yeah. So now they go back home, and these guys all happen to show up one after another. The one shows up just late enough that the other one had time to tell his story. And it's staggered, perfectly timed.

Yeah, it's nice. Yeah. And they show up and they tell Jed. Well, I know the thing you sent me to do was but all three of us failed in different ways. And Jed is so mad, isn't he? It's funny. It's funny how he rides off in a huff. oh my goodness and then his the roof of his wagon crashes in on them through his face and the music

and the music tells you start laughing folks this is funny you can't not this is comedy man it worked on me i laughed and laugh and i still had tears of eyes from the tobacco pockets what a ride what a ride a roly coaster i'm still sobbing about the tobacco and i'm laughing away about the carriage. This episode had every damn thing. Now, you got to admit you like this episode. No, I hated it. I liked the puppies.

What the, that's the only thing about it you liked was the puppies. I liked the puppies. I liked when the men were wrestling for about 30 seconds. And otherwise, yeah, I mean, again, I could have fallen asleep the entire fucking time. What's your favorite episode of Bonanza so far? Yeah, good question. So far. I guess this one because of the puppies. Okay.

So she liked it. All right. You did like this one. They all are the same so far. Honestly, they all blur together. That's literally impossible. Couldn't happen. There's only 362 episodes left of Bonanza now.

Do you know that? It's so sad. She's the only one that might live longer enough to see it all. If anyone's listening, please can you guys come and get me out of here and trap? static white noise as far as i know mark is still playing uh walk on by in the background we never told him to stop it oh shoot huh that might be open uh stop playing it now mark okay well folks that's an episode of bananas for bonanza and we're going to try out one third more time to book the guy that canceled on us twice and if he doesn't even hear you'll find

out who it was all right what else they're going to know either way if he shows up. Oh, yeah. Or if he doesn't. That's true. That'll be funny. All right. Well, anything else anybody wants to tell us?

What you got coming up, Marky? Well, the senior prank, I'm missing it right now. Senior prank. What is the senior prank? Do you know what it is? Yeah, we're building a wall. Oh, building a wall. Out of brick in front of the front door of the school so that no one can go in.

So you open the front door to school, and then you can't get in. And then you can't get it. It's inspired by the recent election. That sounds great. Wow. I will tell you, man, as you know, every year, I write in Ben Cartwright on my ballot. I do it every. It's a waste.

I don't do it every. Sometimes I'll tell you I feel that way. Sometimes I'm wondering, am I throwing away my boat? Yeah, you are. I'll tell you right now. You are. No, because, see, that's the kind of thinking that won't get. Ben Cartwright elected.

Yeah. Okay. Right. Exactly. He's never going to be elected. Isn't he dead? He's not dead. He's a character.

He lives forever in our hearts. People vote for dead. Dead people vote. I've heard about it on YouTube. Yeah, that's right. So we can vote for dead people. We got to get you guys off of YouTube. It's rotting your brains.

This year I got my hopes up. I really did. I thought, God damn it, it's going to happen this year. This is year. Bank, right, is going to be president. I saw some good numbers out of Iowa. What are you talking about? They said the polls were tied, which means that they were going to cancel each other out.

Exactly. And then here comes in Ben Cartwright with one, two votes. It's like at the Oscars when everybody says, oh, they split the vote between Meryl Streep and Russell Brand. I can't think of a second actress. Jesus Christ. You did think of a second actress. And then the third person gets in there. But then it didn't happen, did it?

Yeah, it's never going to happen. Why did I enter my heart into a rodeo? when I know things get broken there. Well, folks, all right. We'll see you next time. That's the end of Bananas for Bananza. Howard, you're going to do this first or last? Lewing it last.

Now get. By now. By now. Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gourney, with The Journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchie Cuff, and Wade Ryan.

Bananas for Bananasas, mixed and edited by Mark McCombie, executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Gourney. We'll see you around. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most? When your famous grainy mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard. When the barbecues lit but there's nothing to grill. When the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner.

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