Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #69: “The Honor of Cochise”

Episode Date: October 1, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Episode 69! Kurt Russell's father and the guy that played Bones on Star Trek make their Bonanza debuts in Season 3, Episode 3, 'The Honor of Cochise,' an episode that features a hat made out of a snake and, according to Dalton's niece, Markie, an offensive amount of bronzer.     Featuring Matt Gourley & Lily SullivanMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 12/4/2024 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Too many students are packed into overcrowded classrooms in Ontario schools, and it's hurting their ability to learn. But instead of helping our kids, the Ford government is playing politics, taking over school boards and silencing local voices. It shouldn't be this way. Tell the Ford government to get serious about tackling overcrowded classrooms because smaller classes would make a big difference for our kids. Go to Building Better Schools.ca.

A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. The Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death and the Family, dives into secrets, deception, murder, and the fall of a powerful dynasty. Inspired by shocking actual events and drawing from the hit podcast, this series brings the drama to the screen like never before, starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark. Watch the Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death in the Family, streaming October 15th on Disney Plus. Not a billionaire, not a problem. You can still do something legendary by leaving a gift to charity in your will. Even 1% in your will can change the game for a cause you care about without taking away what you or your family need.

It's a powerful way to make your mark. Anyone can leave a legacy. Willpower shows you how. Learn more at willpower.ca. You're about to listen to Bananas for Bonanza, episode 69, which was released to our Patreon subscribers on December 18. 2024. This is Andy Daily. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bonanza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and add free, please subscribe to

patreon.com slash Andy Daily. You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the Discord, and more. Subscribe today. And now enjoy this episode of Bananas for Bonanza. Yeah! Bonanza! It's a finest show alive, so consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside, take some Ponderosa pride and forever made it. Pride!

I'm Bananas for Bonanza. It started with a This is Bonanasas for Bananza Episode 69 Now, mutt, we're in the presence of a teen Oh, wait a minute. What does that mean to you? Because I don't think you understand the meaning.

That's right. It has a sexual connotation. Let's say an adult inappropriate connotation you probably don't know anything about it. It's because of the way the number's six and nine. But don't explain it to her. She's a team. Well, that's the platonic way.

I already know. It's not like I'm saying balls and holes and hole. Now you have though. Oh. I already know. You know what? What it means. No, you can't.

I already know. See, this is one of the, there's so many reasons that I'm re-parenting my niece Markey. I'm just starting over from scratch. I've literally been on the internet since the womb. So the idea that I like don't know what 69 is, you guys wake up. The six and the nine, the way they fit. together and then if they were to copulate they'd have a three and then that three well it's a dividend of six nine and three you know three six nine it's an and then a three could

turn into a nine okay or six as long as it grows it's it's proper genitals isn't 33 like sexual too is it yeah why don't tell me you know things about on think about it the little thing in the middle going into the butt it's sexual I never thought about that before you get a three and a three together it's like it's broke back mountain it's broke back mountain it's it's like two butts but where's no no the middle is the dick but why is it sticking out of the back of the butt oh not sticking out of the back of the butt it's in the front it's going into the other butt yeah but if the one three is a butt the second three isn't a butt it's not a butt it's a person and you did this see i just saying your generation doesn't have the clarity of mine to get a nice six and a nine that fit naturally. Yeah, that's a lot better. I told you, we're

protesting sex, so I don't even care about this. I know. This is very interesting to me. I don't have to worry about this one going out and having sex. They all are saying no more sex. No more sex. Who's saying that? All of my generation. The whole generation. We want less sex in movies. Why? Too much sex. What about in porno? Yeah, less sex in porno too. Oh. More acting.

I know. They only are watching porno for the stories these days. Really good stories. Young people. I support sex workers. I just don't want them to have sex. Oh, isn't it? It's very confusing.

How are they going to make their money? How are they going to make their... By acting. They're nuts. In the pornos. I can't say hooker in my house anymore. My own damn house, I can't say hooker. It's offensive.

Sex worker. Sex workers, she says. The stuff that comes out of your mouth, I could get you canceled in like one second. I have a list. I have a whole book. What if he put on the wonderful television show, T.J. Hooker. Yeah. Can we talk about T.J.

That's offensive. That's offensive. Okay. I say, when I have sex with a hooker, it ain't work. And it ain't offensive. That's right. Unless you're doing it wrong. Right.

God damn it. Oh, my God. She is keeping a book of things out. Every once in a while, just in the middle of conversations, you'll go wait, I have to get my book. Yeah, I have a whole book. You write it in an analog book with a pen and paper? Yeah, that way he's. understands how much material I have.

If I put it into, like, my phone, he would have no, no context or how much offensive stuff he says. How much is there? How many books? It's like this thing. Oh, my God. It's a loose leaf thing. I keep adding pages. Yeah.

She keeps stuffing pages into the books. She got some compromise on you, buddy. I guess so, but I can't think of one thing I've ever said that was inappropriate. I really can't. I've tried my best because I know there's a teen in the house, an impressionable teen in the house. I do my best to speak appropriate all the time. Sure, sure. Yeah, you don't swear.

but you say really offensive stuff. I don't believe that I do. I think you're making up offensive things. It's ridiculous. Anyway, this is episode 69. Oh, yes, yes, I do.

She knows what it is, but she don't want anybody to do it out of yes. Hey, wait a minute. What? 96? What about it? That's when the couple's mad at each other. Oh, yeah.

They've turned their back on each other. They're going, oh. But they're sleeping head to toe. Yes. And rubbing butts. They're keeping their butts warm Yeah That's a phase of a couple drifting apart

It's before they go to separate beds They go head to toe Oh do they? Yeah, that happens a lot So you must do you sleep head to toe? With Betty Lou? Yeah. No.

You guys seem like you're on the rocks. Well, Betty Lou is a fitful sleeper So I normally bed down on the floor That has to be the next step after 96. So you're telling me Charlie, Charlie Wonka's grandparents, they were in a declining stage of their quadruple. They had all. Charlie Wonga. Charlie Wongka.

They had all four grandparents in the bed together, right? They were either declining or they all had a toe footfish. I think it was a poly situation. Yeah. It does seem that way. And they never got out of that bed. No. Why would they?

They got everything they need, just looking at their feet next to their heads. But how did they go? Did they go husband-wife head to toe? No. It was swapping. Heads at the same, but between them was a set of toes from another husband-wife. I'm just like, we don't know what was going on under those covers. No, we don't.

So offensive. Why? I thought that shouldn't you want people to be sex-positive and do whatever they want? I do. I just don't want it in movies. Unbelievable. The sex parts is the best parts of movies. you just watch a bunch of kids movies like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

No, I don't watch old movies. That was, he forced me to watch that one recently. Which one did I force you to watch now, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? Yeah, I remember. Yeah, I did. Which one did you force? The Gene Wilder one. She thought we was going to see Timothy Shalema.

Oh, no. And I said, wrong, young lady. I've had it with that Timothy Shalema. I have a lesbian crush on Timothy Shalema. I'm confused. I get it. Yeah, I get it. How can you have a lot of?

lesbian crush on a man because he's barely a man oh he has this really hot feminine energy oh interesting yeah i wonder how long that'll last him you know what i mean well he's a perma boy oh you think so i think so it's one of those ones where he's like from neverland he'll never grow up i have a gay crush on martha plumpton wait a minute i don't think that works i just don't like it does isn't that the same but reverse yeah that's the same see i speak everything she has skill and energy. Yes. She does?

Yes. Christ Almighty, everything's so confusing. Hey, I was watching that Dune Prophecy Show. Sure. I believe we're two episodes into it. Speaking to this business, I don't think I've seen any tits or butts. Good. Even one time, yeah.

It's HBO. Yeah, right. What am I watching it for? No, it's Max. Wake up. Oh, geez. Like Skinna Max. You know?

He's right. Something's happening. The Six is going out of our HBO bank. They want you to watch Fixer Upper. They don't want you to watch sex. What's Fix Her Upper? You know Fixer Upper with Joanna Gaines and Chips. Fix Her Upper, I never touched her upper.

Her uppers just fine. You guys, this would go in the book. If I had the book with me, I would write about what you just said. You would like memorable quotes and bone mows. No, offensive. What? What's offensive about her? How about this one?

Shutter Island, I never even opened her mainland. That's a classic. That's a good one. That's a good. That's a good. Thank you. You said you've been working on it for years? It's been around for years.

That's an old chestnut I like to bring out seasonally. Yeah, that's a good one. So it's a planned one. Oh, yeah. I steered this conversation. Oh, I'm kind of like the Joker. Oh, yeah. Or like Silver from Skyfall.

Yeah, I'm orchestrated in all this. You know, that's a huge red flag. What is? Wouldn't men like the Joker. What? Because. The in-cell. What?

Tell me again, an in-cell. I never even went out of her prison. Whoa. That one hadn't been around a long time. That one was bad. This is all leading to this. It's all been leading to this. Encel is there.

I wanted to be intentionally celibate, but it isn't that, right? Is it involuntarily celibate? Is that what Encel is short for? Yeah. Isn't that funny? I know. Why would you do that? Why would you say, that's right?

I'm involuntarily celibate. I'm trying like hell to get laid. Because they blame women for their involuntarily celibacy. I'm involuntarily promiscuous. Right. You're not. You're in promisc. Yeah, or I'm very sexually active and women are just coming at me.

So it's not even my choice. I'm just a victim. No, it's true. It is a problem with him. I'll say to him, what you're going to do tonight? I'm going to stay in and play checkers next morning. What did you get up to last night? I got laid three times.

He don't mean to do it. He don't want to do it. Now, in my defense... You play checkers by yourself? No, I play with these ladies. We play nude checkers. Yeah, okay, so of course it leads to something else. Why?

You play naked? Yeah, naked checkers with these gals. It's like a strip checkers, isn't it? Yeah, it's two sisters and an aunt. Oh, my God, it's a family. They run the firewood place over there. Oh, you get your firewood from them. So speak.

Oh. But you literally do get your firewood. I've never once got an actual firewood. Oh, I see. You go over to the firewood. They've gotten some firewood for me. What, do you have an SDD or something? You name it.

I got a whole curation. Firewood, that is a bad STD. Yeah. Get your pick your bad. I bet you guys have had lots of SDs in your day. I've had most, if not all of them, a couple of times over. Uh-huh. Yeah.

Yeah. There's no problem. I've got some now if you want some. What did you got? Ew. What about God? Yeah. Well, I got a couple of news strains.

I got one that's just straight up called LaGuardia at midnight. That's the name of his TV. Nasty. I got one called South of the Border. Uh-huh, sure. And that applies to many different meanings. I was going to say that. Sounds offensive.

Why? South of the border? She thinks it's offensive to people that live there or from there or something like that. Let's get something straight. Yeah. What? I'm talking about Canada. So this is purely...

So the U.S. is... The United States. Okay. And that's fine. Okay. It's a Canadian disease that you're catching America. God, damn. A quick question.

What? What podcast is this? Oh, shit. Bananas for bananas, God damn it. Yeah. How do we get sidetracked on all that? It's the goddamn numbers of 69 that keeps doing it to us. Do you understand that?

No, don't get into it again. Okay. Because we're going to talk about season three, episode three, the honor of Cochee. And we had a guest booked. This is what happened. We had one guy booked one time, and he says, I have to go to Canada, speaking to Canada. And then I booked the same guy another time, and he says, again, I have to go to Canada.

This is the guy you told me about earlier, that if he three times. If it happens a third time, I'm going to reveal his name. But I didn't try it. I didn't try him a third time. I tried another guy. And he said, okay, no problem. I don't have any plans to be in Canada. But then he wrote us today saying he was sick as a dog.

What's worse? Getting sick as a dog or having to go to Canada? Those are two very, very... It's bad, right? Yeah. I'm not going to reveal the name of the man who got sick today. That's not his fault. But if it happens again, I will. I'll say it.

What? Who was it? No, don't you say it. Wait, so you get three Canada's and only two sickies before your name's revealed? Well, it's more, yeah. Okay. Okay, yeah, that's the rule. the third time you have to go to Canada

I'll reveal your name the second time you're sick I'll reveal your name because I don't believe a sick So you get two sex Yeah you get three canadas What ones do you get? How many what?

How many ones? One you only like if they give you that excuse You have revealed their name right away Oh there's something like If I ever hear somebody say Hey I listened to the podcast I don't want to do it What if they're like

I can't The Deadwood boys ask me to Yeah That person That person going to want to lock their windows But unlock your doors Unlock your doors We need to come in to hurt you

Somehow we don't want to do a lot of work Man, oh man Wait, I say this at the beginning of every episode Hello friend, come on in The gate is open wide Welcome to Bananas for Bonanza Today we're discussing season three episodes This episode had everything

He's got gunfire It had a hat made out of a snake and no women It's got everything Not a woman in sight A lot of brown face Yeah I knew you was gonna bring that up

I knew you would Because poor old Are you trying to find The most offensive episodes to show me Or are they all this bad Well we're watching them in order Also it's not brown face It's technically like

Russet face Oh my God You got to really like toned down And I'm gonna start your book You're going to get your own book I don't want him in my book That's true I like my own book

Yeah do I get to pick out the binding Oh You can make your own book Yeah you can pick out the binding Okay But last time episode We had Adam Carrotwright took his shirt off

And I thought he looked just fine And this one says Oh he was covered in bronzer And now as we're watching this episode I says myself God damn it I wish I didn't know that about that About bronzer

How could you not tell That they were covered in bronzer? These fellas today in the faces of the Native American people's. They're not in bronze. They're in brown face. Everybody's in bronze face. It's fine. No, it's different. Why can he wear bronze and the other guy can't wear really dark? You see how good my cheekbones look? This is bronzer. Oh, I see. I'm not in brown face currently. Oh, it's a fine line. No, it's not. Wait, you're not Native American.

Oh, my God. What? I think it's the same substance that was on Adam's chest that was on on the face of these. You're out of your mind. No. They put bronzer on Adam's torso to make him look like he gets more son than he does. Yeah.

And they put something else on the face of these axles. They put a much darker, thicker makeup. All right. Oh, my God. In those days, you could not find a Native American people's person

to be on television. They wouldn't do it. There's only one fella, and he was always crying. You guys really have to be careful this episode. Why? Because the book's going to, I'm going to publish the book. You know what? You'll be careful.

I'm starting a book on you. Yeah, start a book on her. She's really mean. Yeah. Yeah, that'll go over well. Calling a young woman mean. She's shrill. She's, say nasty.

Too nasty. Too outspoken. That's right. It's all bad. It doesn't know her place. Oh, my God. I practically had to tie her to a chair to get her to watch this episode for Danza. This one was really hard to get through.

Yeah, she had a lot of complaints about it, but they don't make sense. You'll hear it. You'll hear it. Too many students are packed into overcrowded classrooms in Ontario schools, and it's hurting their ability to learn. But instead of helping our kids, the Ford government is playing politics, taking over school boards and silencing local voices. It shouldn't be this way.

Tell the Ford government to get serious about tackling overcrowded classrooms because smaller classes would make a big difference for our kids. Go to Building Better Schools.ca. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario. The Hulu original series Murdoch, Death in the Family, dives into secrets, deception, murder, and the fall of a powerful dynasty. Inspired by shocking actual events and drawing from the hit podcast, This series brings the drama to the screen like never before.

Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark. Watch the Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death in the Family, streaming October 15th on Disney Plus. All right, October 8, 1961, come September was still the number one movie. That's Rock Hudson and Gina Lola de Brigida. Bob Adairn and Sandra D. Tender Years by George Jones is the number one country song This is a beautiful song about a man

He's singing to a woman that he loves But she loves another But he knows that that relationship is bullshit And he says If I can't be your first love I'll wait and be your last I'll be somewhere in your future To help you forget the past

That's beautiful right He's going to wait As long as it takes to be her last love Even if he has to make her Yeah Oh, God. It's beautiful. Yeah.

This is great. I guess it's better than those country songs where they just kill the lady. What one's you talking about? No, no, this is a good one. It's going in the book. Yeah, put that in the book. It's merching country music. You don't understand the book, clearly.

It's offensive stuff. Yeah, I know. That sounds like a bad book. I already got a first page. Bobby V's Take Good Care of My Baby is still the number one song in the country. Celebrity birthdays A jazz trumpeter named Steve Bernstein

from a band called sex mob He plays jazz He's in sex mob But he plays jazz That's right And there's another jazz A jazz penis named Ted Kushian who was born on this day

Who plays A jazz penis No god damn That's going in the book Put that in the book right there You know it's not a jazz penis That's what it sounded like When you said it jazz penis

I know I used to say pianist used to go out of my way to say that. Maybe because I didn't want to. Because you were so scared. Someone would think you were saying penis. Yeah. Well, you know what it was? I was at a party.

Well, you ever had that thing where everybody's talking, but then suddenly everybody gets quiet and you're still talking and you say something really loud? Yes. Yeah. I just say, I love that pianist.

I just said that. And everybody was like, who, who's, are you, do you love? And I spent the whole night trying to clear that up. Oh, man.

Who is your favorite pianist? My favorite pianist. I have to be Michael McDonald's. I've been told I have a jazz penis. Oh, wait a minute. Sick. You let your friends talk about their penis in front of me? I can't stop them.

I've tried. I'm not saying it. Other people are saying it, so it's okay. I'll tell you what we say from now on, Piano Man. Jazz Piano Man. But I have a jazz penis. I know that's what you're trying to tell us. It stays up late and scats.

Yeah, I'm sure it's like really like comes a go. It does, improvises, just straight up smokes reefer. Your penis does. Oh, yeah. I'm learning a lot of that. Well, that's a blues penis. Now, that's a little different, okay? Blues.

Yes, I got a blues balls but a jazz penis. This episode was directed by Don McDougal. This is his first of 31 episodes of Bonanza. Welcome aboard, Don. Wow. He was the script supervisor on Abbott and Costello's meet Captain Kidd. So it was his job to go up to Bud Abbott and say, Oh, you said, certainly.

It's supposed to be naturally. He did five fall guys and 18 Dukes of Hazards. He directed the Planet of the Apes TV series, and I found this funny anecdote from a guy that worked on that show. I'll just read you what he says. You're going to love this. Straight out of the word. Oh, no.

One of the actors on the Planet of the Apes TV series, short-lived, sadly. Yeah, I don't remember this. I know. He says, You remember the scene where I swim under flaming water? We shot that in a pond at CBS. The flames were coming up from gas pipes.

Don McDougal had me walking into the water. When I was about 20 feet from the flames, he said, go out further, Ron. So I went out another 15 feet, and he said, go a little further. Finally, I'm practically touching the flames. I said, for Christ's sake, what do you want to do, roast me? Don said, okay, that's far enough, Ron, back up. And then he laughed and said, I wanted to see how far you go. Oh, my God.

What a funny joke. That's a good joke, right? It would have been funny if he'd let him get burned, though. That'd be real funny. The writer of this episode also wrote a book called Blood Brother, which became a movie. Here's a funny story about it. No, not, yeah, he wrote that, but Broken Arrow, he also wrote. The John Wu one?

I guess so. No. I don't know. But in his book, Blood Brother, there's a couple of Native American people to get married, and they say a poem. and this poem has been featured in it's called the Indian wedding poem or the Navajo wedding poem or the Apache wedding poem it goes by all these names

and people recited at weddings all the time and they usually introduce it as a Navajo tradition Like an authentic thing? No, it was just this guy that wrote it. It seems like, yeah, if they're just like loosely like it was Apache and Navajo. Yeah, yeah.

That's like that, you know that music. Neenee, me, me, me, me, me, need, need, That was written for the world's fair. That's not even from like India or Egypt or anything. What? It was written to be sort of like South Asian, Middle East kind of music. It's a French song. There's a little, there's a girl in France. There's a naked ladies dance.

Yeah. No, it's a Martian song. There's a place on Mars where the ladies smoke cigar. Oh, that's right. Yeah. There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance. Yeah, right down. Man.

All right. Well, that's interesting. They call that fake lore instead of folklore. You ever hear that term? Oh, no. That's a fake lore. Yeah. So if you're at a wedding.

Fake lore. Huh, what? What? I said this podcast is fake lore. What are you talking about? It's real lore. If you're at a wedding and they say, here comes a Navajo wedding poem, you stand up and you say, that ain't true.

Even if they're like, this poem is authentic from the Kansas City Chiefs. That's fine, too. That's fine. Cocheece in this episode was played by a man named Jeff Marr who played Dick Tracy on the radio series of Dick Tracy. That's a big deal. And he was also the star of a TV show called Union Pacific, where he played the supervisor of the Union Pacific Railroad West of Omaha.

And his character was very concerned with right-of-way issues. This is the most boring thing about it. Well, but he's not done yet. It's, there's, there's some big coming. No, that's it. No, there's got to be a big. No, that's all I have. That's all I have about it.

See, he's hiding it close. he's trying to get the railroad belt you understand west of omaha he's the supervisor yeah i understand that okay doesn't need a punch because it's just one big punch and he's really concerned with right-of-way issues you bet he is he's like we got to get this railroad west and somebody will say well but but but no because the right-of-way issue now he's got to work it out oh my god i got to see that show that's all i'm saying yeah i ain't never seen it but i got to Captain Moss was played by a Golden Boot

Award winning actor and Star Trek guy DeForest Kelly You must know you from Star Trek You've seen some movie I've never seen Star Wars It's not Star Wars I've never seen Star Wars

Oh my God It's a total different thing I've never seen I don't care about Darth Vader Or whatever One's for nerds One's for cool guys Oh yeah

Well the witch is weird What do you mean Star Trek's just full of nerdy talk about science Oh, okay. Star Wars is for lovers. It's romantic. Yeah.

Yeah. It's seconding. It is romantic. We've got a guy who's kissing his sister half the time. Oh, boy. It is interesting, right? Yeah. Yeah.

Will, uh, the insults like that. Why is everyone into incest? Well, I don't know. I wouldn't mind seeing some on Dune prophecy. I'll tell you that right now. What is? is the prophecy and it certainly ain't any set of hooters I know I haven't seen

a one tit I'd take I'd take two to three tits and I'd be happy sure no tits for me none she says no tits I just want the sex workers to have rights oh my lord well let's say here old de Forest Kelly he got discovered through a Navy training film called Time to Kill that's a John Grisham written Navy training

film? Maybe. He has some, he didn't really like science fiction. He preferred westerns and was usually a bad guy. He turned down the role of Spock before being offered bones. Can you imagine that? Wait, before being offered bones. Yeah. So he turned that down and he said no, but then they say, okay, you can play the doctor. He's like, I'll do your show now? That I'll do. Yeah, exactly. Whoa. Yeah. He read that Spock part and he said, that looks real boring. I don't want to do that. Well, he was dead on about that. He said, fuck you. You're not glue and. shit on to my ears.

They're not giving me poindexter bangs. Yeah. He must have laughed about that all of all those years. Can you imagine your whole career

you have to wear like the ugliest ears and like fake prosthetics? You look like an idiot? Yeah. I can't imagine it. No.

He did look like an idiot. And they fucked with his eyebrows too, didn't they? Sure they did. Now, it's one thing. You can take the ears off at the end of the day.

Yeah. But he's got that haircut in those eyebrows. when he goes home to see his family. They all have those pointy sideburns. He had those omelie banks. Yeah, he did. They raised him even higher.

So you do know Star Trek, huh? No, I figured out who you guys were talking about. I've seen him in memes before. Yes, but yeah, he's been in memes. DeForis Kelly is the only Star Trek cast member to not write an autobiography. Good for him. But he did write two books of poetry. The Big Bird's Dream and Navajo Wedding.

his poems were about Gene Roddenberry who he referred to as the Great Bird of the Galaxy that's a good nickname he was in DeForest Kelly was in Night of the Lepas and he was married to the same lady for 55 years and they never had kids that's the way to do that's the dream so they never had sex right they was virgins together wow so beautiful it is beautiful

I can only hope for something like that they were 96ers Clinton Wilcox was played by Stacey Harris. He was known for his role as Jim Taylor on a show called This Is Your FBI, which Jay Edgar Hoover said was the finest dramatic program on the air. But the New York Times Review said the program is effusive praise for Mr. Hoover and the FBI. And the FBI is a bit overdone. So it was that kind of show.

What else? He was, oh, who cares. Oh, this guy, this is the old man, right, who comes and solves all the problems at the end. You want to take a guess how old he was when they shot this episode? A hundred and ten. You say 110.

He looks like he's 110. I'll say he's... 36. Forty-six. Pretty good. Forty-three years old. They put him in old face. So offensive.

So offensive to put him in an old face. It's making fun of old people, ageist. What about when old people get de-aged like Tom Hanks and Robin Wright in that new movie here by Robert Semeckis? That's fine. Why? Old people can play young. Plus, the micas can do anything.

Because old people have, are, it's sad, like you guys. So it's like, if you make fun of old people, it's like even sadder. Really? Making fun of us a lot. That's fine. You guys deserve it. Oh, my God. She don't make any sense.

She doesn't. Just like all the youth. Yeah. But yeah, I know you had to enjoy being Russell as Major Reynolds. He's the guy that really wants to kill the, Patches. That's Kurt Russell's father. Come on. Oh, my God. That's him. I knew he had amazing hair. Yes, he did.

Kurt Russell's father. This is his first of 59 episodes of Bonanza. Whoa. Because he comes back, he plays a deputy for a while there. Really? How soon? I don't know. He plays some other role and then another role and then he plays the deputy for years. They really fell in love with him. They did. He was in the Magnificent Seven. He played the Monkey's Man in the unaired pilot of the monkeys and then they decided the monkeys didn't need a manager these are real monkeys no no that had a manager over they like can you imagine being the manager of a group of actual monkeys i would watch that show forget it unmanageable is the manager of

actual monkeys an actual monkey or see a man that would be good that i would watch that show you would watch one monkey trying to manage four other monkeys hilarious remember that chimpanzee show we watched in here? Yeah, we did watch a show. Or a monkey management. Link? Something like that, yeah. A monkey managing a band.

How about a monkey managing a human band? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I mean. Is that what you mean? Yeah. Oh, that'd be interesting. Yeah. I'd watch that.

Yeah. How much do they pay them? 50% and bananas. I'm putting that in the book. We agreed. You said it with me. I'm taking one thing off. Oh, okay.

You guys know why I'm here today, by the way. Why? What? Well, my, why my, My mom sent me here. Why? Tell me. Because I punched Santa.

When did you do that? What did you mean? Why would you do that? Because he was an old face. Oh. So that was the straw that broke the back, huh? You was visiting Santa Claus or what? Where did you see this?

Santa came to our school to talk about drugs and alcohol. Because he was a former user. Yeah. And he could speak experience. Yeah. He said, ho, ho, ho. You know, I could take a handkerchief, put it in one. nostril and take it out the other. Yeah, he had a cocaine and a...

He was in the Santa outfit? Yeah, he had a morphine addiction. And he came and identified himself as Santa Claus. Yeah, he said, it's me, Santa. And then he brought his elf and Mrs. Claus and everybody. He did. And they were all users. The elf did a bunch of had a cocaine problem. Did he have candy canes or anything like that to hand out? Did you... No. Why did you punch him? Well, because he was in old face. When he said, he was like, I'm actually only like 37. I got up out of the bleachers and I punched him in the head. What are you going to do now you're on Santa's naughty list?

You're not going to get any prisons. It's not, I mean, it's not Santa. It's some drug addict. But he represents Santa and Santa knows. Oh, is that how it works? Santa knows. He's a licensed Santa. And so they all report back at the end of every day going who is good and who is naughty.

That's how he knows. All he used to dress up at Santa at our Christmas party. Yeah, that's right. So offensive. I'm in the Christmas party. So offensive. Dress up and saying, what? What's offensive about it?

I was a good Santa Claus. I didn't say ho, ho, ho. I said, yehaw, yehaw. It was pretty obvious. I found out Santa wasn't real when I was five. Well, first of all, fuck you, what are you talking about, Mr. D? Second of all, what about, is it offensive if you wear a beard but you're not older or younger? Is that hair face?

Well, what color is the beard? Well, what if you want to try something a little different than your own? You're saying it's a false beard. but it's age appropriate. Right. If it's white, if it's a white beard, that's offensive. But what if you're older? I have salt and pepper beard.

There's fire in the chimney and snow on the roof. Oh. But what if I shaved this but put on a beard that was very much like this? Well, you're old, so it wouldn't matter. You wouldn't be doing old face, so you're fine. You walked right into it, my friend. You did. You can wear whatever beard you want.

It doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't matter. The weakest part of that I know. You tempted her to tell you that you don't matter. And she did. She did and did not hesitate. No. Oh, wow.

Bing Russell was in many great movies such as Billy the Kid versus Dracula, Teenage Thunder, and the Million Dollar Duck. Million Dollar Duck. I never know what's going to come out of your mouth and you're listening. What the fuck is the million dollars are? I screwed you a duck. No, it laid golden eggs. Biggs, a million dollar duck.

That's all. These movies are so boring. It's insane. These are great. These are great movies. We never put a movie on in our house that came out after 1972. It's straight up like torture. I have to stay with you.

You love it. All right. We got Al Ruchio played Delgado. This guy, he's been on Bonanza before. He's the one who played Leo Cunio and Godfather 3. Oh, yeah. He gets killed in the Atlantic City Massacre. So he's in Benanza.

and then they put him in brown face and they're like it's two different characters later on oh yeah of course he's the one that's getting shot going he's trying to get his um coat is that right i don't know he's his two lines are 50 million dollars and then zaza you son of a bitch yes he's being shot when he says that oh yeah his godfather three is the best of the three it is now it's calm god you son of a bitch

and he's squibbed yeah it's amazing That's him. I don't know who Delgado was in this episode, but he might have been the guy in the blue vest that wanted to fuck shit up. I don't know. The doctor, here's the most interesting fun fact I found, and they've been real interesting so far.

All of them fun. Yep. This guy, Raymond Castellani, he went by Raymond Mayo in this episode. He quit acting in the 80s or whatever, and he made 111 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and brought him down to L.A. Skid Row. And then he did that every Sunday for the rest of his damned life till 2021 serving meals to homeless people.

And Bill Clinton gave him a presidential citizen's medal. Wow. That's pretty good, right? That reminds me. I went over to friends once who had a friend and says, we're making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to give this to this woman to take down to the homeless people. Was it before 2021? It was. But then we theorized that maybe she wasn't giving them to the homeless people.

and she was eating all these peanut burns. All the sandwiches? Hundreds of them. Hundreds of peanut butter jelly sandwiches. All in the one sitting. Like Chris Farley. Yeah. Because when you talked to her and she'd be like,

You got them sandwiches yet? She sounds pretty full of peanut butter. And she kept harassing us. Where are them sandwiches my belly the bumbling? She said my bellies are bubbling. That sounds like she's going to eat those sandwiches. A little less jelly. little bit more peanut butter, please.

It really sounds like her entire mouth is full of peanut butter. What? Her entire mouth sounds full of peanut butter. It was, I know, because she was all stuck together. Could you get creamy this time and not you can't make it jiff? No more pizza pan. Wait a minute. Who was this?

We don't know. Who? Because it was a friend of a friend. A friend of a friend. That's the brilliance of it. She had someone run and go between. Who was she? She was like a. I don't know.

Look, I've told you everything I know. Also, we made all this up about her. Oh. We don't know for sure that. None of it's true. No, the peanut butter sandwich is part of it. Oh, God, damn. God, what a waste of time.

It doesn't matter. Well, let's talk about, let's recap this fantastic episode of bananas for, oh, no, of Bonanza. Bananas. You know what I mean. The Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death and the Family, dives into secrets, deception, murder, and the fall of a powerful dynasty. Inspired by shocking actual events and drawing from the hit podcast, this series brings the drama to the screen like never before.

Starring Academy Award winner Patricia Arquette and Jason Clark. Watch the Hulu original series, Murdoch, Death in the Family, streaming October 15th on Disney Plus. Too many students are packed into overcrowded classrooms in Ontario. schools. And it's hurting their ability to learn. But instead of helping our kids, the Ford government is playing politics, taking over school boards and silencing local voices. It shouldn't be this way. Tell the Ford government to get serious about tackling overcrowded classrooms, because smaller classes would make a big difference for our kids. Go to building better schools.ca.a. A message from the Elementary Teachers Federation of Ontario.

We have the all four cartwrights are out in the open air. Eating soup. Eating soup. They put a soup on the fire. Boy, his paw teasing the hoss. He sure is. Boy, hoss would love to eat all that soup. You had to love that part.

That's funny, right? When the music comes in and tells you it's time to laugh, and old hoss, he's just dying to take a sip of this soup, but Ben won't let him. I was like, this is a joke that he wants to eat the soup. Oh, yeah, because he's a big guy. So it's a fat joke Great Really offensive

He's not fat He's strong God damn it He clearly got all the nutrients The two other boys Are like way small Hoss got all the nutrients He loves to eat

He just can't stop eating He loves everything Hop Singh cooks You haven't seen Hoping yet I don't think He admitted an episode of Oh no Oh I can't wait for you to meet Hobsley

Oh Jesus Christ He's so funny Tell me he's a white person in some kind of offensive. No, he is a person from the Asian continent. When you know because of the way he very clearly talks. Oh, Jesus. Yes, it is.

It's beautiful. Okay, but then we get some Indian-sounding music, and we have a bunch of Apaches chasing two white soldiers, and one of them gets shot, and one of the Apaches get shot. And then the last remaining soldier comes up upon the cartwrights, and they're luckily by a whole bunch of big rocks. and they get behind these rocks and now the soldier says all these apaches is chasing me i should just give myself over to him and haw says no your fight is our fight this he just immediately

takes the side of the of the white soldier over the apaches that's smart and and uh and then but then and this is an old de forest kelly now and he's turns out we learn in a little while what an asshole he is but we get an early indication when he drinks all their water but then okay so this is what's happening now we got their hold up we got the all four cartwright boys and this stranger soldier that just kind of come up on him and he's getting chased and shot at by all these apaches they've got raffles and they're going to make a stand and they're going to hold off these apaches but then one of the apaches shoots the soup you saw that right oh yeah that was something else they needed water they was out of water and haw said well it ain't water but it is

and liquid i'll get the soup and then the patchy shot the soup that made me so mad for a second i thought it was a i was such good special effects right no i'm kidding it looked like shit what do you mean write that in the book put that in the book sarcasm disrespect irreverence i don't look for the strings was there a string how did they make the soup get shot i'm also they probably pulled it with a string yeah writing in the book that you have not once in this episode of fat chumed anybody. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Right. Yeah. Well, I got mad when this Apache shot that soup. They had no call to shoot that suit. Yeah. What did the soup ever do? Yeah. That's a euphemism.

Shooting the soup. Oh, we was just shooting the soup. Shooting the soup. Well, they chased this guy, these Apaches chased this guy all the way from Arizona. And Ben says, they chased you a long way, even for Apaches. Sounds like an Apache will chase a man a long way, but not that long. What? now Johnson reveals he says well I know why they're chasing me because what I do for a living is I hunt down Apaches and but still Ben says well we cannot give him up to the Apaches we must stand here and fight to defend this man who just told us that what he does is he hunts down Apaches but that's how they that's it that's the honor that the cart riders have they're going to fight along

side. They're the fellow white man. Now later, Adam decides he's going to be a hero and sneak away with the canteens to get some water out of the water and hole, which is guarded by the Apaches. They're real smart. They said, well, hold on. They all seem like they're about 10 feet away from each other. Which will? They're on a sound stage, so there's only so much room.

The Apaches and the cart ride. Oh, yeah. Well, sometimes they're on a sound stage and sometimes they're out and they're outdoors. doors and they cut back and forth in very seamlessly it's very impressive you're going to say you don't see the seams so uh let's see here it so but adam he gets shot trying to go for them canteens and man that you had to find that to be a compelling and exciting shoot out there when man joe goes to save adam adam's unconscious he's been shot he's got a bullet in his gut and And then the Apaches are shooting on little Joe trying to save Adam and Ben goes out to save his two sons.

The stakes couldn't be higher. I wish we was keeping a tally on how many times each of the car ride's been shot because they are just full of lead at this point. It's riddled with bullets. I think I was asleep at that part. Oh. You couldn't be asleep. It couldn't happen. There's no way.

I know you tape my eyeballs open, but I think I was asleep at that point. You can't? I'm using duct tape. Wow. I was impressed. Those eyeballs are open. But, yeah, it's interesting gunshots because it's understood. He's been shot in the abdomen.

And if they get the bullet out, he will live. But if they don't get the bullet out, he will die. That's how it works. A gunshot. The abdomen is a vague term. Yeah. Because you could still be shot in the stomach, the kidney, right? Yeah, like, also it just seems like when you pull the bullet out,

it's going to like release all the guts you know oh that's just science you should say you're great in biology battery not very good i'm not interested it's terrible well so now all right well that was an exciting shootout no person could possibly ever sleep through it then we meet the apaches they all have the same hair and the same headbands and the phillop and the same brown face and the same tone of skin natural to the actors they're all white people Maybe there's one or two Hispanic people. There might have been. The guy with a snake on his head, he seemed to be from another land, don't you think?

He was something else. How about that snake hat? Have you ever seen a hat like that? No, I'd love to have that. Me too. You look at this man, you see his face, and then five or six inches above. You see the face of a snake. And the snake is coiled up on his head.

I think I slept through this part. Oh, that's like, you know, you watch, you've seen Indiana Jones in the Temple of Doom. Yeah, because he forced me to. Uh-huh. Okay. Mola Rom, the bad guy in that. You have to look real close. But he's got a little shrunken head on top of his helmet, too, and it's just a little head of a man. A man's shrunken head.

Also, take a look at the idol in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Golden Idol that he takes in the beginning. Uh-huh. You got a little tiny pecker in there. No. Really? You can see because it's a fertility idol. Sure. You got a boner?

No. Okay. It's a dangley one. Well, it ain't a fertility. It's soft. yeah but it's gold so it's not but it's depicted as soft but it's cute as a dick and there's not enough like soft dick imagery you know yeah you're right we need to stand our soft dick kings who are do we not know our so timothy shallama is one of them soft dick kings i'll bet you

sure he's got feminine energy she's amazing we stand our soft dick queens we love him Well, if you say so, well, I'll tell you, okay, Cochise, Coch, Blue, Ben wants to have a parley with Cochise. But DeForest Kelly says, believe me, when I tell you, that man is first cousin to the devil. That's a hell of an insult. Yeah. Devil's first cousin. Can imagine how bad you'd have to be to be the first cousin of the devil?

Not as bad as the devil. Well, but pretty bad. Yeah. Because the devil's, the devil's father had a sibling. Who is one of your parents? The devil has a dad? I guess to have a first cousin he'd have to. Yeah, he'd have to.

Who is the devil's father? And who's the devil's uncle? Oh. I don't know, but I know who the first cousin of the devil is. It was co-chase of the Appetches. Is the devil by marriage or devil by blood? Such a good question. You mean, what do you mean?

I don't know what I mean. Okay. So let's not dwell on it. All right. I don't know how the devil's in the works, but this guy's the first cousin of the goddamn devil. And now Johnson, he, okay, we'll pretty, this, oh, here's what happens. Cochise explains to Ben.

He says, did he tell you what he did to us? And Ben says, well, I know he said he hunts down patches, but they lifted it that. But it turns out old Johnson there, DeForest Kelly, he had poisoned women and children with some kind of poison. So he says. Who said it? Cochee says that. No, DeForest Kelly. They both said it, I think.

Yeah. You know, it could be hearsay. Well, it's a, he said, he said, but they are both saying the same thing. Which is that it came time to poison a bunch of women and children. And the way that Cochee says, he says, they died with laughter on their faces. The white man's poison makes the dead smile. I don't know what. Oh, it must be some kind of laughing guys.

It must be what the Joker took. Yeah, it's like the Joker. That's how the Joker often kills people. This is why we look up to him See that He gives people a way to go out And they're happy Now things are going just fine

Between Ben and Cochise until DeForest Kelly shoots Cochise Just a little bit in the arm Just enough that he goes Hey you know he didn't like it A little Nick Just a little Nick

And then that's it The two sides go to their separate sides And you know Ben's trying to be reasonable But he says I cannot hand Johnson over to you I will not do it But

A real quick I just He's trying to write something in the book. What are you writing? Well, that you probably hate Deforest Kelly just because deforestation is in his name. Yeah, absolutely. I hate him. Also, he killed women and children. He didn't.

His character did. And first of all, it was the poison. Poison kills people, not Deforest Kelly's. Jesus. Yeah. I mean, I'm sorry, but you guys are getting canceled, like, no problem. I have lots of followers online. You're just going to take a while to get published.

You can't cancel someone that's never been planned. There you go. Okay. What are you talking? you cancel a plan but if there isn't a plan you can't cancel it your life is a plan i've never been scheduled planned or otherwise predetermined so go ahead and try to cancel me i'm uncancellable just because i appreciate the performance of white men as native american people doesn't make me a man you don't want to be on record saying that what do you mean you god i think these guys did a great

job i'm just like worried about my reputation like how it's going to like i'm not going to get into college with when they find out that you're my uncle oh we're going to get you canceled by proxy that's my new goal i will write your letter of recommendation to college personally and i'll explain to them i'll explain to them why it's a good idea to have a regular old white person playing native american person with makeup on their face a recommendation video as i'm in full brown face Oh, Jesus Christ. Yeah. You guys.

As Jesus Christ. We'll get you into the real colleges. Well, Jesus was brown, so. This guy again, but he did have blue eyes. Oh, my God. Did you punch that Santa Claus because he wasn't a black Santa Claus? Yeah, I did. It was historically inaccurate.

Wait a minute. Santa Claus is the Nordic. Plus, the elf was, like, really tall, which is like, I'm sorry. Have you not seen Lord of the Rings? Well, yeah, Legolas. Yeah. Yeah, he's, she's hot. She's a tall elf.

She's a lesbian crush of mine as well. Okay, they also have to put dumb things on their ears, don't they? They do. Oh, man. They also have to say dumb things out of their mouths. Like, Ninoch-lok-la-thar-a-korn-har-a-oh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha.

This is terrifying. Two of you whispering in strange tongues. That's translation for, I want to sleep with you, but you keep poking me with your ears. And I was saying, will you raid my long blonde blocks? Oh. Well, please don't ever do that again. It's like elf ASMR. It's terrifying.

Cochee says, when the night runs from the sun, we attack. Air her gorn, I never even put her gorn in the laundry. You never even put her gorn in the laundry? air her gorn never even put her gorn in the laundry like air meaning like put it on the laundry line dry it out on the line you guys might be explaining it to yourselves

but no one else listening has an issue with this okay hey are we still broadcasting by any change Kurt Russell oh no that was a long time ago that we talked about Kurt Russell oh did it cut out again no it's still going still going it's still going or the counter is still counting hi folks oh I'm so glad

you're there. Okay. What do you think? Whose side are you on? Ours or hers? Yeah. I think the soft Dick Kings have a real chance at the cup this year. Yay.

Still going. All right. Good. That's a victory. We love to hear it. Love to hear it. Okay. Night falls.

The cart rides need water. The Apaches are chanting. Ben knows that's a war cry. And he says, okay, he makes a plan. Ben says, because Adam is not doing good. He needs help. Ben says,

I'm going to ride five hours to Fort Barry. I'm going to collect a doctor and a high-ranking soldier to arrest Captain Johnson. And then I'm going to ride the five hours back. And he makes a plan, but it immediately goes sideways on because the Apaches capture him and they drag him over and they have a convoluted explanation as to why they don't kill him right now. But then he's able to explain his plan. to Cochise and Cochise says I'll give you until sunrise but this 10 hours yeah that's back

and forth right there he's not a great negotiator oh why do you say that he just keeps giving into everything he keeps giving in to everything that Ben Cartwright demands he's too nice is what he is he's too good of a man there's a lot in this episode about trust and who do you believe and can we believe the word of an Apache can we believe the word of a white man there's a lot of this That's what really this episode is about. Is that right? Boil it down. Can we trust one another's?

Can we take your word? And Cochise does. He says, okay, I'm going to let you go. And I trust that you're not going to come back with a whole cavalry to kill us. Right. Man, that's a lot of trust right there. But he does. So that's it.

Oh, Ben rides off to Fort Barry. And he tells, uh, whoa. He tells, uh, he tells, uh, he tells us. Oh, no. He tells us. Oh, no. His brain just gave out. Oh, no.

He says, ah, you'll never get another night's sleep if you turn Captain Johnson over to the Apaches. I bet you he probably would, though, honestly. But anyway, the Apaches, okay, blah, blah, blah. Oh, right, I already went through all that. Ben, they give him a horse, and they give him back his weapons. And then we have a long scene of Joe getting water from the water at home. Yeah, torture.

I think I was asleep for this part, but even still it was torture. But it was tense, so suspense. because it had been negotiated that they could fill one canteen with water, and Joe goes to do that. But are the Apache's going to shoot him while it turns out no, but you didn't know that while watching it. Now, okay, finally, Ben is talking to the colonel at Fort Berry, and this scene starts with a good line of dialogue. They come back from commercial, and the colonel says, surely, Mr. Cartwright, you can't be serious. I am serious. That's a good way to start to see.

Call me Shirley. Exactly. You like that old joke. You and your friends say that at the playground. Shirley. Yeah. Don't call me Shirley. Is that a name?

Oh. All my friends' names are like Braxton. All of them are called Braxton? Yeah. You are the, it's just, what's your name again? Marky and a bunch of Braxton. There's so many Braxton's girls and boys. They ain't got a single Mary.

They ain't got a one Jennifer. How about a Lilith or a press? Ugh Pris You don't have a one Pris In your whole I'm not gonna name my kid

Piss no Piss no Priss Put an R in there It's basically the same No Pris is a beautiful name Short for Priscilla

Nasty What about Prue Prue? Yeah Priss and Poo Piss and Poo Piss and poo Piss and poo

P We don't need a guess For this show No You fuck them Canadian fellas because we don't ever need a guest. That's right.

Sick Canadian, just snot dripping draft dodgers. See, I'm fine with you being offensive towards Canadians. That doesn't be able to the boat. Oh, interesting.

I guess I don't know how it works. Except for Justin Trudeau, he's hot. What about Canadian indigenous peoples? Oh, yeah. Well, if you talk about that, that's going in the book. Ridiculous. All right.

Now is when we finally meet Bing Russell. Bing Russell wants to go and capture coaches, but the colonel says no we ain't doing that and the colonel it's not clear exactly what persuaded him from from you can't be serious to okay let's go but by the end of this scene yeah that was true it really isn't not quite clear but he is on board with ben's plan he says okay you and me and one other guy to arrest colonel johnson and then a third person that we're not discussing don't know a doctor and then a third person anyway they're all going to ride five hours out to the and then I will admit to some eye glazing over. Full glaze. I'm falling asleep with you talking about it. Everyone's riding five hours. There's bullets.

Everyone's drinking water. It's so repetitive. Come on. There's only maybe 10 minutes in this episode that didn't need to be in it. Don't you think? Just 10? The whole episode needed to be 10 minutes. Oh, that's absurd.

so okay who should arrive back at where they are but old Ben and a doctor and somebody to arrest Johnson and the colonel is there and there's but man things get complicated

because here comes goddamn Bing Russell how did they not notice that they was being followed so closely behind by an entire battalion but here comes Bing Russell with a whole bunch of men on horseback the whole cavalry is here now. He's defied orders

Bing Russell has and he wants to take co-chaise. And now all this business is about, I'll trust you to do this, I'll trust you to do that. It seems like it's backfiring and unraveling. This is exciting stuff. You're trying so hard and it's barely working. It's so exciting.

What's going to happen? It's going to be bloodshed or the cartwright's going to die? Well, no. Because instead the colonel goes up to being rustling he says please go back to the base and they

do now those all those men rode five hours for nothing yeah they did that's no easy task back that and they have to go right back yep and go another five they don't even get to get off their horses they don't get to shoot a single Native American persons they have to get back on their horses and ride

on back to the floor they have some protein powder in their bags protein powder yeah no you just eat a raccoon that's been pulverized into powder You hit it with the back of your musket No not into

Hey What's your favorite Bing? Huh? Bing? Russell Crosby Okay Cherries

Or Bada Bada? Bada Bada. Yeah I'm gonna say Russell is my favorite Bing What about you?

I literally had no idea any of the ones that you said So Then your vote doesn't count She doesn't have a favorite Bing That's so sad Now

How many times does Johnson say, I was just obeying orders? I think it's about five times. He says it to himself, at least one time. I was just obeying orders. He says it to the colonel. I was just obeying orders. He says it again as he's leaving. Yep, again, one more time as he's leaving.

Hey, I know what? I think I'm going to, I haven't played a clip from an episode. Oh, boy. I think I'll play the very last piece of this clip. Just started from the top and let's roll through the whole thing. That's not a bad idea. You're going to play a clip? Yeah.

Do you want us all to die of boredom? Not at all. I don't think you're going to die. I have to go to the email. That Mutt sent me back in 2020. Where I always get the link. Go to the link here. What's this on a Google Drive?

Click on Season 3. Every time I'll send him an email, he has to go down to the mailboxes, et cetera, to have it printed out, scanned. I know. I've seen it. And then put on a little CD-ROM that he can put into his computer. That's right. And then he looks at the J-Pag of it.

They do a nice job down there, mailboxes, et cetera. It's the et cetera where they're really excel in my view. Yeah, and if you really ask right at the right time of the day and the right person, that, et cetera, can be something special. Here, I'll just play how this episode ends. We went to Ralph's, and he had a Ralph's credit card. It was one of the most devastating things I've ever seen. Hey, those are tough to get now.

Those are tough to get. Yeah, it's got a 0% APR. Don't you? And he was returning oranges. Not oranges. They was little tangerine guys. Clementine. That's how I went with him.

He played with traveler's checks. Yeah, that's right. In his own town. I tell the people behind me in line of Ralphs, I say, you might want to go to a different line. I've got my checkbook and a number of coupons, and some of them are expired, but I'm going to argue. A bunch of old fruit to return.

And I am returning fruit. Un-eating fricking. So, yeah. Okay. Here, go. I just like the dialogue at the end of this episode. I don't even love it. I just like it.

Put that mic up to that. Okay, so this is bronzer. Heavy bronzer. I'll give you that. Pretty good sort of fella, yeah. Most men are. You don't have a chance.

Beautiful. Lauren Green doesn't just have bronch. are on, I mean, he's got, I mean, frankly, he's got brown face on. What are you? Which one is that one? The little one? Ben, no, little Joe is the little one. Oh, there's the snake hand.

The big one, the little one, or the medium one? Which one? This guy has something different on his face. You're trying to tell me? I mean, come on. Look at that. He looks like Ricardo Montabon from the Ratham. There's the snake cat.

The snake cat has feathers on it too. This is the best hat I've ever seen in my life. Lion's snake. They darkened his eyebrows too. They have said what they have to say to those who listen. Now it is the time. We will wake. You're disappointed.

We didn't even talk about his voice, vocal choice. What do you mean? He's in Apache. You have no choice but to talk like an Apache. Oh, my God. That's the role. Well, Marky, I know. secretly you try to sound like you didn't love this episode but I know you probably did

right really in reality and you learned a lot about the frontier living do you want me to lie for the podcast or the viewers or no just don't speak we'll speak for you it's best that way yeah she loved it this is going in the book she loved it trust me I know yeah good okay good well I am impressed by the hands up because somehow every episode is more boring than the last. Oh, my God. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. How dares. More exciting than the last. Yeah, this was a real exciting one. They were stuck out there in the wilderness and it's a showdown between a white man and the patching. And who knows what's going to happen. I was on tenter hooks the whole time. And you were two, I know it, even though you was trying to sleep with your eyes taped open.

Oh, how many, how many Charlie X's do you give it? What does that question mean? I don't know. Give it a rating. How many elphabas do you give it? I give it, let's see, I'll give it one, I'll give it one, I'll give it one Taylor. One Taylor. Who I don't like anymore.

My Taylor? No, Taylor Swift. Oh, you're done with Taylor Swift. Why? Why? Because she endorsed Kamala? Well, yeah, she could have only endorsed Kamala at the end. Oh, because she could have, she should have done it sooner?

She did she have done it sooner? Oh, yeah. But she has sex. Do you not like her? Yeah, that's why I don't like her. Okay. She has sex with that, Travis Kelsey? Yeah.

Have they put out a sex tape yet, the two of them yet? Oh, they should. Yeah. And then we could cancel them. Okay. All right, folks. Hey, this is sad news. There's only 361 episodes left of Bonanza to talk about after this one.

You believe that? How many? 3161. They only made 4131. Somebody, if you're listening, please come and kill me. Wait, is my math correct? They've done 70 of these? This is, no, well, this is number 69.

Oh, but we did do a 70th one. Oh, that's the Christmas episode that fucked up everything. Oh, damn it. But anyway, yep, only 361 episodes left to discuss very sadly. But we'll be here to discuss them, and I'll think next time. Well, I don't know. just kind of predict that you're going to love one of these episodes sincerely. I think it wouldn't happen.

Okay. I'll keep it up in mind. Well, this is the last one of 2024. Boy, it's been a good year. I tell you what. What a year of 2024 was. It wouldn't, not a single thing I'd change about it. Well, folks, we'll see you next time.

Now get by now. Go see Wicked. Bananas for Bonanzas is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gordley, with The Journeyland, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchie Cove, and Wade Wright. Bananas for Bonanza is mixed and edited by Mark McCombie, executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Gordon. We'll see you around.

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