Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #73: “The Friendship”

Episode Date: November 26, 2025

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Real estate developer Janaloo Hicks returns to take deep dives on Jimmy Dean, Dean Jones and, of course, Bonanza Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Friendship', in which Little Joe finds a stray human and Pa lets him keep it!    Featuring Janet Varney & Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 3/24/2025 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're about to listen to Bananas for Bonanza, episode 73, which was released to our Patreon subscribers on April 9th, 2025. This is Andy Daly. Here on this free feed, we release an episode of Bananas for Bonanza every other week. If you want to hear them earlier and add free, please subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daily. You'll also find the entire archive there, as well as two bonus podcasts, access to the discord, and more.

Subscribe today. And now enjoy this episode of... Bananas for Bonanza. I'm Bonanas for Bonanza. Let's commence, as always. Who are there? Oh, well, well, well, it's Bonanas for Bonanza. Man, oh, man, we are joined today by a returning guest, which is unusual on this show.

I don't know. We've had some, but not a lot. It's special. It's special is what it is. And we had a wonderful time with this lady. Last time she was here, and she's back by a gentleman. just about popular domain. People said, you got to have Janaloo Hicks back and here she is. Oh, my goodness. That is so nice. Yeah, people love when you was on last time. We've been trying to find you ever since.

Yeah, well, I did. I was called away. I was called away. Before we could even go on our date, I have to say, which is very disappointing. And I hope we're going to have a redo. I hope so. It's kind of why we had you back. Oh, good, good. You did, y'all didn't have to have me back. I would have gone. On the date? Without doing the show? Should I go? I'm going to leave. No, no, no. Bye. We're excited to have you here. You know what else?

No. Wait, no. Come back. What happened? Chaloo. Oh, no. She's on a slow-moving choo-ch-ch-ch-ch-oh. Oh, my God.

Gallo! I'm back, y'all. Oh, my goodness. It sounded like what I did was I walked halfway and then I back walked the other halfway, but it sounded the same. So it sounded like I went a long way, but I only went halfway and came back. Crisis averted. Yeah. Well, yeah.

we was all going to go to the saddle ranch and get on a buck and bronco together three of us and we ended up not because I don't know what happened. The number you gave me didn't work and then... No, no. My number did work. I was just out of range. Oh, okay. I had to go back to Arizona and as you know, once you

cross that border, those funds don't work anymore. You have to get a new Arizona phone with Arizona currency. You know why? Because it's daylight savings. Because of daylight. Because Arizona has a huge Daylight Savings. Is that true?

It's absolutely true. When I grew up, I did not understand and still do not understand. But then I found out no one who's done it their whole lives understands it really either. I have never gotten it right, ever. I never understand when someone says fall back or spring forward what that means for my sleep. That's right. And I have to ask every time. That means that you either have to, you have, the easier part is when you fall backwards to fall asleep.

When you have to actually push your, propel yourself forward into sleep. Yeah. It's just about a possible. It's more wakes you up than anything else. It's like falling on a rake. That's right. You're not the only one. It's like when an airbag is deployed is what it's like.

Have you ever been in a car? I've got an airbag on my horse. Oh, no. That's California. I guess that's why. Of course. Do you wear a seatbelt as well? Of course I do.

God damn all these laws. We moved to Arizona if they ain't got daylight sailing. Oh, it is the wild west out there. God damn right. ought to do that. If you want to ride a horse in the state of California, you need to have a cowboy hat that is made out of helmet and you have to have a safety belt and an airbag on that horse. It's ridiculous. And you have to have child locks on the rear saddle as well. And I think your hat has to have an airbag inside it too to protect your brain. Yeah. And these hats are like

getting up to like over $1,000. Easily. Easily. And it can't be a horse also. Okay. And so what, I guess that part escaped, I thought that you could ride a horse. Now, what is a horse in this context? It's an AI horse. I see. You got to have an AI boy. It's a self-driving AI. It's no longer a street legal. Yeah, you can't.

Well, that's certainly true. Yeah. Well, you have horses with airbags, headlights, and early warning traffic systems. Yeah. I also heard that horses can't vote in California, which I thought was very strange. That's not legal for them to vote. No. They can vote in Arizona.

Oh, yeah, of course. You can vote for a horse. but a vote a horse can't vote isn't that weird is that are you being political right now is that a cutting yeah analogy yeah that's very good you will America oh I love it oh man I thought you were saying you can vote on behalf of your horse but you're saying that a horse could be a candidate I suppose you could vote on behalf of your horse if it's a secret pack between the two you know stay out of my voting booth government well that's a very good point you tell someone it's secret there's no way they can check it that's

right. I should use that for more stuff. Okay. Now, so you've been in Arizona this whole time. I did. I had a real estate opportunity that I could not miss. Oh, you're a real estate developer. That's right. What's you, what you've been doing real estate wise? Well, I was developing. There is a very charming town called Bisbee, Arizona. Okay. That is sort of southeast of Tucson, where I'm from. And it is home to a very large open crater called the Lavender Pit. The lavender pit. The lavender pit was a copper mine, y'all.

Okay. And it was just a huge space. And now there's all this like, what do you call it when the filings, the things that are left behind after the pilinges and filings, something about whatever you sluice off when after you've got the copper out. Oh, okay. And they just left a big old pit and then inside a sluice pit. A sluice pit. They got a sluice pit. And it's lavender in color for some reason.

It's very pretty as far as a pit of just, you know, garbage goes. Garbage dirt. You never hear pits described as pretty. Well, what about the Grand Canyon? What about Brad Pitt? The prettiest pit of them all. The second prettiest pit of them all. Brad Pitt is the prettiest pit.

I think of the Grand Canyon is more of a canyon than a pit, though. Why do I do? Oh, well, they're gone and called it to the canyon, haven't they? Well, that was when Big Canyon was had a lot of control over Arizona. The Big Canyon was. And, yeah, they stepped in and said, well, let's call it a canyon. That'll be better for tourism. I don't mean to interrupt.

I'm just curious if you've got jet lag coming from Arizona and the time changed to California with the daylight saving. I don't know if it's what if I'm upstairs or downstairs. You must be reeling. Literally and figuratively. But I had a great opportunity. So I went ahead and, well, what I was told was that the mine, while previously very unsafe to enter, I was told that it had been strengthened in some way, like retrofitted and

that there could be a condominium complex put in under the ground, which I thought was going be great from old people. A honeycomb system of architecture. A honeycomb, catacomb, some kind of comb system of living. And it did not pan out, y'all. What? Hang on. I want to try to understand. It is a pit currently. It's a depression. It's just a big crater. Imagine as if a meteor just crashed down from Earth. And you're going to build in the pit, not the sluice waste. No, I wanted to build into the mine itself. Oh, so there is adjacent to the pit, mine and tunnels and whatnot. Exactly right.

And so you was going to, what now, you was going to make homes inside of the mine. For mole people in particular. Well, I was just saying they would be a potential customer. I'm not saying it has to be someone who doesn't like the light of day. Oh, okay. But it would be, you'd have to be comfortable with not getting any natural sunlight in your home. But you could always take one of little tram cars out into the pit itself and have a little wanderer. Oh, your home is.

Put a little duck pound. Yeah. Your home is right on the little track that the thing would do that's right. That's right. You don't have to go that far. And everyone's mailboxes, of course, has to be on the outside because male men and male women and male people, not to be confused with mole people, refuse to go into old abandoned minds that have since been retrofitted. That's a federal thing. Speaking to get out of my business. Now, prior to this, a mole person couldn't be a male person, but now a mole person could be a male person if they're just going to, you know what I mean? But a male person won't be a mole person. What do you mean by that now? Well, she said they won't go in. That's true.

It's one of those like one could be, but the other does, that doesn't mean the other is. But a mole. Like an SAT test. Okay. What if a female male person wanted to be a mole person and eat mollay? And I'm lost. I'm totally lost. I understand that.

But you said mole like, oh lay, not like mole. Moley. Moley. Like before we started, I said, I'm going to press record. Oh, I see. Lowlake sauce. That is a choice. Well, sometimes I get so excited about emphasis that I give it to the syllabus before.

The syllabus? The syllabus. And I did receive, I did receive today's syllabus. I want to thank you so much for putting together a whole syllabus for one episode. I'm having a real day. It's really not. Well, I don't know whether I'm upstairs or downstairs, darling. So, that's fine.

Now, Mud, I think you should go ahead and tell the audience what you did not do this week. I did not watch the episode. And I am ready for my lashes. But you did watch. An episode. No, I did not because I thought we was doing something else. Oh, totally different. I was working on my Scottish accent.

Let's just put it that way. Okay. He was deeply confused. Yeah. Deeply confused. But there's also another layer of confusion today because. Right. Oh, but let me see if I can try to explain it.

Yeah. This is currently what we're recording right now is the 73rd episode of Bananas for Banana. Happy anniversary. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. But I believe we are discussing the 74th episode of Bonanza. Okay.

Because we're skipping one. Because the one that we're skipping was directed by Robert Altman. And every time Robert Altman comes around, directs an episode of Bonanza, Pat and Oswald comes around to talk about it. But he wasn't available. Got it? Yeah. I don't know when he's going to be available.

So that's floating number, episode seven could just be out there. That's a floating number. For who knows how long. How much time do we have before that's got to come out? Because then we're going to be in another problem of episode ordering. We are in the problem. I don't know when we're going to record episode seven of season three of Bonanza, and I don't know when people are going to hear it.

But when is it supposed to come out? What do you mean by that? Well, it would come out. This one's going to come out. And when this one here that we're doing now is going to come out when that one should have come out. Oh, because we're not even going to, I thought maybe we was just doing this to get ahead. Nope.

Yeah, I feel like we have skipped past the day, and I'm just married to both. That's what happened. I'm inside of marriage of two men who were previously married. We are living in our twilight news. Yeah, you're taking care of us. I love this bickering. It is charming. Most people wouldn't find it charming, but I'm just one of those weirdos who does.

Our little bickering here, we ain't even bickering. We're scheduling. And it's the hardest part of any relationship as I schedule and get out there my house. Now, I did not watch the seventh episode, nor did I watch any of the other episodes from season three. And yet I do not feel it hurt the conversation. continuity for me. So maybe it won't be a problem for y'all. Well, as a matter of fact, as it just so happens to happen, this episode we're going to discuss today is a perfect follow-on to the one we discussed last time, because they are in many respects the same episode. Well, good, so I didn't miss much.

You didn't miss a damn thing. And I'm going to feel like I watched two episodes. Yeah, you are. At least two. Wonderful. This is a real good one. Oh, wait, this is what I say at the beginning of every episode. It's a good one, and I missed it? Yeah. I mean, you should. You could always watch it after. I'm sure you won't. Well, there is a completest part of me that feels like I should. Yeah, you might just put it on a series and say I ain't seen one.

But that completest part of he doesn't always show up. No, it doesn't. Because he was not here this morning or last night. He's not complete. That guy was all the way over in Scotland. Yeah. You have an incomplete completest. Yeah.

Part of you. The incompletest. That's beautiful. That's very poetic. The incomplete completer. That's coming from a pod right there. That's a good year. That lovely.

Yeah. All right. Hello, friend, come on in. The gate is open wide. That's how we begin these episodes. Okay, I know we're not bickering or anything. All right. That was a little bit lackluster, and I feel like that's my fault because I've just kind of started

this off on the wrong foot and I feel like you're just matching my pathetic tone. Hello, friend. Come on in. The gate is open wide. I like that. That sounded like you were talking to a dentist. You were sat down in the chair and you opened yourself up mouthwise. I do say that to my dentist

I tell them Hello friend come on in The mouth is open wide Exactly I like that And they still go in And they still go in Every damn time

He had no choice I have a lot of respect for dentists Because of course They're also minors of a kind They go in and they drill I suppose that's true Yeah Dentist is a minor

Isn't that sweet Now what happened Now you're not going to build these You're not going to go ahead and build these? It turned out that it was Actually almost none of what I was told was true retrofitted the mind. I went in there to see how safe it was and I got caught. There was a

collapse. Okay. I had to dig my way out. Okay. But the thing that got me through as I was trying to save my own life and not some other was, I was not going to let you down. I was going to come back and go on that day. I said, I'm not missing that day. How'd you get out? I can get crushed by rocks once I've done that, but not until. You just ground hogged your way out. A groundhogged my way There were days where it felt like I was just living the same day over and over. Days, oh my God. Uh-huh. They should have used the Philip Ditasheimer-Harmacom method of architecture.

I know they should have. We learned about it in an episode of Bonanza. Oh, how wonderful. Yeah, Philip Dietzheimer developed a honeycomb and it was a real reference to Bonanza. That was in universe when you said that. Third episode or something like that and somehow it's stuck in our memories. Well, you know, I am starting to feel having now watched a total of two Bonanza episodes, that some of them do seem to have an agenda.

Oh, an agenda. So I don't know what the honeycomb thing is, but if it turns out to be about the libs, I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, how interesting. Now, I'm really eager to hear your take on this episode. Well, this is, just so the listener knows, season three, episode eight,

The Friendship, and this episode has. Oh, old Mud, I am disappointed that you didn't see the brawl. The bare-fisted brawl in this episode has got to be just about the best bear-fisted brawl in the history of this show. It went on forever. It was like one of them Rocky movies where the two opponents are so evenly matched they pummeling each other into sauce.

Who's in the fight? The guest star. And the guest star, Dean Jones of Herbie movies. Listen, he has done so many more movies than just Herbie. I love him so much. You do? What else he done? What's your favorite, Dean Jones?

Well, when I was a kid, I just assumed that the person I was watching in the movie was just, it was a different phase of their lives. So I didn't realize that it was an actor when I was a child. I thought this person is being documented as, for example, riding a satient car, sation? Is that what I mean? Sentian. Sanchient car.

The original A.I. He's the original self-driving car. I just realized that bad was doing that. So he had that. But he also had, from my experience, he got his law degree and turned into a dog. He was the Shaggy D.A. Right? Wasn't he?

Maybe. I don't know if he would. I think he was like a shaggy D.A. He might have been like in a sequel. Oh. But I'm pretty sure he turned into a dog at some point. I know that he was the leading man in that darn cat. I know that.

Not only was he the leading man in that darn cat, but he was in one of my favorite documentaries. Well, yeah. The Ugly Doxand. Oh, yeah, the Ugly Doxon. Where he was married to, Suzanne Blachet. And they, he, she had a bunch of doxie. that were real ne'er-do-wells.

Oh, really? Of course, they appeared to be little angels to the woman. Oh. And the man, Dean Jones, wanted his own dog, and he ended up getting a Great Dane. But the Great Dane thought he was a dachshund. Oh. So he kept trying to go through small spaces.

And that dog destroyed their little gazebo out in their yard. And it was just very funny and charming. So the Great Dane is the Ugly Doxand? He's the ugly dachshund. Okay. I just realized that was a play on the ugly duckling. I just realized it also, as I was saying it. My mind has been blown.

Well, let's talk a little bit about what was going on in the country when this episode aired. We still have breakfast at Tiffany's as the number one movie. You've seen that film? It's wonderful. And I didn't know for the longest time you can't actually buy breakfast at Tiffany's. They don't serve food. They don't. No.

That seems like a missed opportunity after the movie came out in the book. At this time, though, could you have... Did the movie come out before the book? Yeah. Okay. Just making sure. I love when they novelize. I love when they novelize.

And they got Truman Capote to novelize it. What a get. It's crazy. Wonderful. Most movie books are that way. Did you know that show gun was... First, it was a mini-series. And then it was a book.

Uh-huh. Yeah. They novelized it. I had a story book. novelization of gremlins when that was a child yeah that was the original source then they did a novel and then they did it was and it was of short I don't know what I guess it's just like a picture book if it's not a full novel but yeah and how did the book describe Mickey Rooney's character oh what a good question or was he just like cut out no he was uh he so you're talking about the

novelization yeah they just went went with what was in the movie and wrote it all in the vernacular I'd love to see that in print yeah they really wrote it out finel Yeah, Truman Capote made it clear that that character was a short little white man with funny teeth in. Okay. So it all makes perfect sense. It makes perfect sense. That was a wonderful. In the book, that is a white man doing a very racist caricature.

Okay. Well, that actually helps the movie. If you know, put it in that context, at least there's a reason for it. Mickey Rooney, throughout his entire life, never heard one complaint about that character. People came up to him all the time and told him it was a knockout. It was sensational. And he never heard one complaint. He never heard one thing another person said.

I'm sure he heard real compliments as well as fake ones that never happened. People would say that they loved him in Pete's Dragon, for example. Was he in Pete's Dragon? Oh, he absolutely was. What a trip down Disney memory lane were taking that now. We sure are. Remember Bill? Did you guys ever see Bill?

I did not. Well, when he played a mentally challenged person, was that a TV movie or is that a movie? That was a TV movie. Yeah, so he managed to do Yellowface and play a mentally challenged person. I wonder if he's got the trifect in there. I'm trying to think of what he did. I think he was just a grumpy old white guy in Pete's Dragon. Yeah.

That was too on the nose. Did he have the bill of sale right here that says he belongs to us? I know a lot about that movie. Oh, yeah, that's right. Speaking of a person belonging to another person, let's talk. Oh, yeah. But wait, first, okay, hang on. It's the number one country, the number one song is still walk on by. And the number one song is. Okay. So breakfast at Tiffany's is the number one movie. Yep. But now, here's where things get a little interesting. Just a little.

The number one song on the pop charts was Big Bad John by singer-songwriter, movie, TV star, and sausage entrepreneur, Jimmy Dean. Wow. Jimy Dean. I wonder if he's related to Dean Jones. I know. That's a real good question. Now this song, Big Bad John, is about a big, strong man who killed somebody in New Orleans for something to fight over a Cajun Queen. And now he's come to this mining town. Wait a minute. Having killed somebody in the past. And he is, he redeems himself by being in the mine when it collapses.

And he holds up the timber in. Where was he when I needed him? I know. I was getting excited to tell you about this. And you talked about it. Held up the timber and so that everybody could get out. And then by the time they got all the tools

they needed together to get it in there and save Big John, it had collapsed. And he died. Oh, no. So he didn't even get to ever meet bad, Leroy Brown? No.

I would have loved for those two to have a meet up and do a song together, y'all. Well, now, hang on. Now, it could have happened because then there was a sequel. to the Big Bad John song. Dottie West recorded a sequel called My Big John,

and this song is told from the point of view of the Cajun Queen who he fought over. It's like a Roshamon. It's long. It is. It's run, Lola Run.

And then John Dean put out, not John Dean, Jimmy Dean, put out his own sequel, which obliterates the storyline of the second sequel. A sequel to his or a sequel to the sequel?

It's a sequel to his, I think. Oh, my God. This is like when they did Christmas Vacation 2. Oh. Yeah. Not Vacation 4. They did Christmas Vacation 2. What the fuck? I know.

This is very, you know what? Y'all, if I could just dispense a bit of wisdom here. Yes, please. Don't F with the cannon. Don't F with the fucking canon. Don't try to get sneaky. Don't try to capitalize. But this I think is Jimmy Dean, and he's a businessman.

He's a sausage business man. He's also in a James. Bond movie. Which James Bond movie is in? Diamonds are forever. He plays like a Howard Hughes-like figure. Isn't that so you're telling me that he was in a James Bond movie about diamonds, but his sausage never made it into Breakfast at Tiffany's for sale.

That is a messed opportunity. This is crazy. That is insane. I am offended on behalf of everybody. You could never get breakfast at Tiffany's. You could never even in. You could never get breakfast at Tiffany's. It doesn't make any sense to me.

Unless you got a baguette ring. Oh. Is that a kind of a diamond ring? Oh, my God, that must be what it's about. All right. This sequel that Jimmy Dean wrote, I'm still talking about this, Big John's, it's called Queenie, and it's about Big John's Cajun Queen who rescues John from the mine. Oh, okay, hold on.

That's reconning. That's like when they brought Boba Fett back. Queenie revives Big John by kissing his cold blue lips, and he started breathing seemingly raising him from the dead. She marries him and they have 110 grandchildren. My God. This is Colt Building. So they skipped straight ahead to the grandchildren.

They had no children, but they didn't have 110 grandchildren. She birthed grandchildren? So he was a sperm donor. Oh, I see. I see. I thought it was something different. Let me look at the science of this, and it's hard science. At some point, they conceived a child who never left her womb.

Well, now that's starting to make sense. It makes more sense than she just woke him up by kissing his blue lips. Right. At least this has science. But also within that womb, somehow that child met a spouse or partner. And they copulated 110 grandchildren that then came out of the grandmother's womb. That's the only way this is possible. I guess so.

Yes. Don't think about it. Trust me. I won't. I trust you. I've heard of this happening. And I trust Jimmy Dean more than anybody. If he says it happened in a song, it happened.

But his sequel also, it negates his own first song. Hold on. That's what it does. Let me just go back into this. All right. Okay. They, Jimmy Dean and Queenie conceive a child that grows up and never leaves her womb. It's like a Russian matrushka doll.

There you go. Except you can't then conceive a second child because that's incest. So she then became a surrogate mother for another couple. She became a surrogate. So she's got a fertilized egg in there from other people's. And it's a boy. And it's a boy. They both do.

She is huge. But they're very small. She is huge. She must have been massive. She is a Target bot two-person tent. Uh-huh. Okay? Uh-huh.

And then, because they also got to have room. Shout out to Target for their size, some tents. They also got to have room to make love in there, these two kids. Of course, they've now matured into adults. I'm not feeling great. Tell it to Queenie, okay, and hear me out. Now, so they matured to a blossoming, let's say, Blue Lagoon Age. I wish you wouldn't use the more.

blossom. I don't know why that's where I draw the line. And these young kids can't keep their heads off each other because they don't know no different. They don't speak. They've got no clothes on. They're receiving all their nutrients from umbilical cord. A shared umbilical cord.

They all speak like Nell because what they hear is the murmured sounds of people talking. They kind of learn language, but it's just like no type of nil. And then that's so they make love 110 times and conceive every time. time and yeah because they're still connected the umbilical cords so they develop it over a slower process so they are able

you are so sweaty right now I swear perspiration is pouring off of your entire body I have to say too this sounds to me like a fate worse than hell for Queenie you stop thinking about Queenie as a person you are thinking about her as a two person

intent. I didn't. I didn't. I'm just saying. You absolutely were. The punishment. What did she do? I don't know. I never heard the song. It's all in there. Okay. It sounds terrible to be queenie. Okay. Now, Jimmy Dean. I'm still talking about Jimmy Dean. Two more things I'm on tape at Jimmy Dean. You don't know that one enough? No. 2004, he released his blunt straight talking autobiography. 30 years of sausage, 50 years of ham. Oh, that's pretty good.

He is pretty good in diamonds and forever, I have to say. He's self-aware and kind of funny. I don't remember. And yet I know I've seen that movie. He plays Willard White. Is Jaws in that one? No, sorry. Oh, is Willard White in Jaws?

No, unfortunately not. All right. And finally, Jimmy Dune is entombed in a nine-foot-tall piano-shaped mausoleum on the grounds of his estate. I heard you say intuned, which I don't know if it was on purpose, but if it's a piano mausoleum, I guess it's right. He is intuned and entombed. Where's this thing? In Virginia, Georgia.

Wow. In Virginia, Georgia. What year did he die? Two one at ten. 220, ten. Yeah, two one at ten. Fair and well. You don't want to hear more about my tenth size.

I think we're okay. I think we're all right. And Jimmy Dean is not the same person as James Dean. No, that's right. But when you say come back to the five and dime Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, are you talking about Jimmy Dean the sausage man? That's a really good idea. I added out one of my best friends is named Jesse Dean. Oh.

It just all conglomerates. I thought Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean was a person whose first name was Jimmy Dean and his last name was Jimmy Dean. Oh, wow. So it was just Jimmy Dean, Jimidine. That's not Jimmy Dean. That's not Jimmy Dean. Mr. Jimmy Dean, what did you name your boy, Jimmy Dean? Right.

Sure, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean. And then that song, James Dean. James Dean, James Dean. You mean James Brown, James Brown? Oh, I don't, I'm not sure that they're saying, you think they're saying James Dean? Aren't they? James Dean. Are they saying?

Somebody backed me up on the streaming service. I am floundering here. Wait, are they now? What song are you thinking about? Is that Lowrider? Yeah, Lowrider. But maybe there's a remix. Oh, Lord.

Somebody back me. Someone out there will know what I'm talking about. I don't know. And they may say James Dean. He was known to like cars. He was the, cars were his sausage. James Dean? Cars were James Dean's sausage.

And he died of cars, didn't he? He certainly died of cars. He died of cars. This is always delayed, but we're starting to get some fact check. All right. Come back to the Five and Dime refers to the actor James Dean. Oh, okay. Well, they intentionally confused us because Jimmy Dean is also an actor.

And Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean could be a person. Could be a person. Yeah, exactly. Jimedin, Jimedin. It could be two packages of sausage as well. You guys go on. I'm not leaving here. I feel most glad so far that references to Nell are still alive and well.

I don't really know what it is myself. Well, that's a movie with Jody Foster. She was leaned on by her dead mother as a baby or something like that. What is it with you and mothers and babies? It ain't me. I'd just tell them like I see them. You can't stop. No, if it's raining, it's raining.

Who's better, Nell or Bill? If you had to choose. I'm saying Nell is less problematic. Maybe? Yeah, I think you're right. Okay. A couple more things about Dean Jones, if you can handle it. Dean Jones, in 1969, he was on a television sketch comedy show called What's

It All About World? Oh. Yeah. Real good. Would you like to see? Was it political? No, it was just trying to figure out what's it all about world. I like that.

I'd like to show you. Existential. Yeah. The opening credits of what's it all about world. Well, first of all, that still does not look anything like Monty Python writing at all. No. It's own unique, original. Absolutely.

Uh-huh. Check out these dancers. The What's It All About World dancers are sensational. I know. I'm really disturbed. I can't find this song. Godville Show and real-life Music Hall. Hello, hello, hello, hello.

Classic old west. wait what he became an old band for a second i think he's doing the stages of all the world's stage oh my god the stage is alive that's beautiful this is the least cowboy thing i've ever seen wow i love it though and yet i am wearing something very close to what those dancers were wearing okay and i might stop oh yeah and it's free oh it's back Wait a minute, that is not, that did not start over. They just came back on stage for an immediate encore. Oh my God, I've never seen it.

This is very, it's extremely earth tone in that 70s type way. Yeah. Well, that was, what was that in the 60s? 69. Oh, well, there you go. It was just starting to get into those earth tones. He didn't into the hippies and all that stuff. What's it all about, world?

Oh, David Essex rock on. How long did that last? prettiest girl I've ever seen. See her shake on the movie screen. Jimmy Dean, James, Dean. Oh. Both of them are in there. They're both in there.

Okay. Wow, thank you guys. Thank you. I am starving for sausage now. Jimmy Dean, James Dean. That's right. And wasn't David Essex real problematic? Didn't he?

I don't know who that is. I'm thinking of someone else. Don't, and I don't need to go anymore. You can't live on your screen. You can just go over there and live in the chat. Oh, okay. Shut up. You can do that.

I wouldn't. The last thing I want to tell you about Dean Jones, according to Wikipedia, he employed method acting for the first time in his career in the 1992 film Beethoven and did not break. Full stop. Hold on. We all need to take a moment. Coffee came out your nose? I'm not sure what's more disturbing. To imagine Dean Jones in a movie about Ludwig Van Beethoven, which would it.

least account for why someone would be a method actor, or the movie about Beethoven the dog. This is Bernard. Yes. So it's not... He was a method actor for that out. He was method acting in the dog movie. That's correct. What did he play? He played Dr. Herman Varnick,

who is a evil veterinarian. Oh, this is not good. What is he doing to get into character? What do you do to get into character? You know, emotional recall, you're supposed to think of your lost pets. But then in this case, did he kill a pet? He's thinking about other people's lost pets. This says he did not break character off set

throughout the film's shooting period, much to the surprise of family and friends who had never seen him so immersed in a role. Of, oh my God, of all roles. This is amazing. This is amazing fun fact. Now, you can't always trust Wikipedia. I choose to.

Okay, you choose to, all right. But I would certainly do the same. I do believe that he was in character. We could watch a little bit of them. We don't know what to say. All right, I guess we will. I wonder if we have any behind. behind the scenes.

He stayed in. And they don't give a reason for it. He's obviously being intruded upon in the process of it. No way. It's impossible. All right, kids, let Danny handle it. What can I do for it? What are a dog back?

Oh, I'm terribly sorry. It's too late. The dog's been destroyed. No. Dad! Wait a minute, wait a minute. I saw this wouldn't happen until tomorrow I don't believe you

What? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, take your hands on, Farrow! What? What is going to see his... He's a heroin addict. What the hell are you trying to pull? What did he see on him?

I don't know. I have no idea. It could only be a needle track. He looked wrapped up. wear the vangos. Concentration cap. Oh, no, no. No, no.

I'm pleased to say he was looking too high for that. He was looking into the crook of the elbow. I thought what happened was that he pulled on Dean Cain's arm and the arm came off. I thought he came off. Like a false arm that made him realize you are the one arm man. No, it's the fugitives. Right. Yeah.

But it was none of those things. It's just somehow there was a lie involving his arm that was then dispelled by a scene. and the crook of his arm somehow. Right. And that exposed a lie. He must have been hard to live with for the filming of this movie. I don't understand at all. This episode has given so many more answers than questions.

I agree. All right. But we need to pick up the pace a little bit. As I tell you that Janet Lake, who played Anne Carter. Great name. In this episode, yes, is one of two actors in this episode, who is, I'm sorry to say, still alive. She is 89 years old.

Oh, she's 809 years young. Oh, no, she's old. And she is on Facebook and you can go on Facebook and you can request an autographed photo of her. So, for instance, she was a model for a long time. You can have this photo autographed. Isn't that a beautiful photo? It's gorgeous.

I love it. It's hard to find the person in there for all. of the visual optical illusions. I know. She's like... It's like, are those two faces or is it a vase? She's a chest... Is it a model or is it a checkerboard?

Is it a lady at a vanity or a skeleton? Is it a chessboard stapled onto the Partridge family bus? That's right. Is it material used for Vans' shoes? Very possibly. So she's on there and she'll... She really loved the TV show Ripley.

Oh. Oh, I love that. She has married. Well, it was in black and white. Yeah. So for her, it might have felt like a return to. Yeah. And have you guys read the novelization of that show, the talent for Mr. Ripley?

I heard they got someone really good for that. Yeah. And she took a nice trip to Chicago recently. Anyway, go on Facebook and find Janet Lake and request a photo over. And then we got Edward Faulkner as the other guy. She is going to see an uptick. I have 100% guarantee you. I hope so.

She will, yeah. Edward Faulkner is 93 years old. He played the evil. guy, the bad ranch hand in this episode, Bob, Bob Stevens, he is, he will host movie night in the common room of the old age home where he currently lives. Is this right? Yes, this is true. Oh, that's wonderful.

He'll show one of his old movies and tell anecdotes about John Wayne. He was in a whole bunch of movies with John Wayne. I find that very charming. I do too. Is he single? Not for me. I'm saying for Janet Lake. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. He's widowed, I believe, and living there. Absolutely, he and Janet Lake should get together. We got a little matchmaking to do, y'all. God damn. That does touch my heart that this guy's running movie nights and old folks. That's the best I could hope for my old age. You think you're going to be running his movies?

I guess that's up to you. Uh-huh. In around about 2040, old Matt, wants to be showing that guy's films. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds good. We also, Teller in this episode was played by Norm Alden, who we've seen on this show before. He was the voice of Aquaman on the Super Friends from 1973 to 1977.

He was also the diner, guy behind the counter in the diner in Back to the Future, where Michael J. Fox asked for a tab. Yeah, that's right. I love that. And he's an elector woman and diner. Diner. What? What? Not diner, diner girl.

Electer woman and diner. What's that? It was that Sid and Marty Croft shows, the Super Hero show. Oh, I don't know anything about this. I'm just firing on all. I love it. Oh, I'm sure you're right. I just didn't notice it.

He's got a kind of gruff voice, right? Yeah. Marty Croft's secret. I worked on something that the Croft Brothers had something to do with. It was a show called Mutt and Stuff. Mutt and stuff. And you don't even know about this show? No, I was not consulted.

I got to work with puppets and children and dogs and outfits. Really? What, they did a show about me? This was in my past life as an actress. Oh, of course, before he became real estate developer. It's very common here. Show it to your old folks home. Show it to your old folks home.

Show it to your old folks home. Oh, show it to your old folks home. Go show it to your old folks home. That's like stick it where the sun don't shine. Yeah, it is. But I mean, the nice way. No offense to more people. What else am I going to tell you that's about it?

Probably that's about it. Yeah, there's other stuff. Except, oh, well, I'll tell you one mystery. The guy who is the evil prison driver in the first scene, Travis, is his thing. You're looking to me like I know. Oh, I know. You picked the wrong person to look at. He's an actor by the name of Roy Wright.

I was able to find out about him that he was in a production called Holiday for Lovers at the Hollywood Center Theater. And he received rave reviews. Now, that's 1959 in May. And then he is in 31 television appearances and four films over the next three years and then nothing again after 1962. And I couldn't find anything about him. But he's not. But he didn't die. In four years?

He's 31 television appearances and four films in three years. And then he disappears. Yes. Oh, y'all, this is very interesting. I know, and it's a hard-to-google name, Roy Wright. I'd love to know what ended his career, probably death. But I couldn't find no obituaries. You think that's more likely than joining the CIA?

Oh, yeah. I would say that the latter is more likely. He got a new identity. He went into witness protection program. Oh, yeah. Maybe he pulled a, not. Not a Nora, but the other movie. Oh, Enora, not Nenora.

Amelia Perez. Maybe he pulled an Amelia Perez. Maybe he did. To become a female drug dealer. Roy Wright. Right. The way you said that it happened in May made me feel like we were going to be taking a test on it. I got to be honest with you.

He said that in such a, there was just a real teacherly attitude that made me suddenly tense up. I thought, oh, I'm going to have to remember 31 movies and that that thing happened in May. What was opening night of Holiday for Lovers at the Hollywood Center Theater? I am going to test you guys on the process of having 110 grand. I hope you got it down. I look forward to revisiting that. Let's try to very quickly recap this episode. It's one time I can really stand to hear what it's about.

Okay. It begins with Little Joe riding up on the Ponderosa where there's some prisoners who are building a railroad track or a road or a road. I don't know. I don't know. Something about a bridge. Something about a bridge. They're building something. And there's like three prisoners or something like that.

And then there's a mean, cruel guard. A very cruel. I hope he wasn't in character. I mean, mess it. Mess it. I hope he wasn't in method. He's a bastard. That's the disappearing Roy.

Right. Well, he fires his gun at one of the prisoners who happens to be our hero, Dean Jones, Danny Kidd. And it spooks Little Joe's horse, little Joe's horse. Little Joe's horse runs, and Little Joe is being dragged behind him, and Dean Jones, Danny Kid, saves the day, mostly to save the horse. But in the process, he ends up saving little Joe's life. And little Joe says, what can I do for you? And he says, get these cuffs off me. But I think he's being sarcastic.

You know, he doesn't really expect to get his cuffs off. Yeah, he's sort of like, you want to repay me for saving your life? Well, my main problem is I'm a prisoner. Exactly. Working on putting a bridge on some dirt. I do agree that there was no indication that bridge was needed at that time or place. It seemed like busy work. Well, now, how long later is it?

We don't know. But we're at the Yuma Territorial Prison. Mm-hmm. And you know it's Yuma because there were two fake sororal cactuses. I mean, real. Of course it was real. This is a bonanza. They splurge on a real deal.

Now, and we're at the jail and meeting with the warden, we got all of the cartwrights except Adam and they are there for the express purpose of springing this guy out of jail and they've come a whip with a letter from the governor that they've arranged. Now, only Joe has met this prisoner. Correct. You guys keep looking at me like you're trying

to convert me to Christianity. This is a life-changing episode and they all are, from what I understand. God came down from the heavens. Yeah. Okay. They managed to do it. They get him sprung out of jail.

But just to be very clear, everyone is showing up for him And they got the letter from the governor. But in this moment, we also find out that none of the cartwrights or the governor even know why he was in prison. But he was still willing to let him go free. Well, and it turns out why he was in prison is that when he was at an orphanage, someone tried to steal his apple pie. He was an orphan. He wasn't just at an orphanage.

He was living there as an orphan. He was one of the residents of the orphanage, aka an orphan. Someone tried to steal his apple pie. That's right. And he stabbed him with a fork. and so for that he spent the past 10 years in the Yuma Territorial Prison Building Bridges on dirt

So I assume that he stabbed someone to death with a fork You thought he stabbed someone in the hand It's not specified where he stabbed this person But if I was, if somebody's trying to steal my apple pie And I had a fork I was all ready to eat my apple pie with my fork I guess it wasn't Alamode He I would stab

Why do you think that? I'd rather have my pie alamode with a spoon Oh, you're one of those pie. Alamode. Alamode? How did David Crockett eat us? Remember the Alamode? Say it again.

How did Davy Crockett like his pie? It's not going to help. How did David Crockett like his pie? Allamode. Okay. Is that an established joke? My problem is I didn't even realize David Crockett had anything to do with the alamo, so I had to. He did, right?

I'm not sure. I'm going to fix your joke. Okay. What did Jim Bowie do to his lawn? Oh. He alimode it. I love that. Now we got, no, that's going to be.

And for me, as a realtor, I love just the image of someone taking care of their yard. Absolutely. That's curb appeal right there. Already you're thinking, Bowie's more synonymous with a knife and cutting his lawn. We'd have to do it with a knife, but there's no punchline. So what am I even doing here? When I got Davey Crockett and an al-mode joke sitting on my shoulder, like the most welcome parent.

You got it sitting on your head like he had a dead raccoon on his. Well, anyway, it is decided that Danny Kidd. He's getting out. He'll go and become a ranch hand on the ponderosa for a period of one year at the end of which he will either be sprung for life or return to jail because he's done bad things.

And the speech that he is given by his father, if you just replaced like we're about to adopt this dog from a pound. Yes. It's the same language. It is very much. You know this little creature is going to be your responsibility. It's a lot of responsibility.

You're going to have to take him out and walk him. You're going to have to feed him. Are you sure you can take this responsibility on? It is very much a dead. And I found a prisoner. Can I keep him type of moment? Very much. Joey is as happy as a boy with a new puppy.

He sure is. To have this young fella to take care of. He's 23 years old. He's what you do. Learn that. All right. So now blah, blah. blah.

Joe and Danny is going to ride back together, and they do, and they ride, and then they camp out. And then in the morning, as the sun is rising, the two of them look out over the sunrise, and I dare say it's a slightly romantical moment. Oh, it is. And they talk about walls. It's very sweet. Actually, what I would say is the prisoner, the former, the ex-con, is just looking at a beautiful

vista that I would think would be very normal for anyone to enjoy. the view of, but Joe treats it like it's the strangest thing he's ever seen. What do you doing? He's looking out towards the, just looking at the sunrise, and he's like, what are you doing? And he's like, do you know what? I don't see walls. I don't see any walls. Yeah, that is beautiful. He's very professorial, I would say. Anytime you ask Danny a question, he goes, let me ask you this. He sounds like Dean Jones has always sounded in any movie, except assuming, I've never seen Beethoven, but it sounds like that's the place where you would not, hear Dane Jones, you would hear an evil veterinarian.

I'm going to watch it today. With one arm. With one or something. Concho is a horse. When they get to the Ponderosa, Concho is a dying horse. He's lying down in the barn. He's just about to die.

They're going to shoot him. But old Danny kid says, I'd like to give him another chance, much in the same way that he's been giving another chance by Joe Carbite. Forward. Paying it forward. Kay packs, did you say?

Don't just keep going. Just keep going. I'm honest. That's too separate. things. No, no. I think. Because Norm Alden played the role of babbling man

in the film K-Pax, and I didn't even mention it. Really? Isn't that? That's very strange. I was thinking, pay it forward because of Kevin Spacey and it was like the same schmaltzy film, the same year that he did K-Pax much in the same way that

Travolta did Phenomenon and Michael. They were just kind of weird in that. Did Robert Williams have like a Patch Adams and a I think they thought they would squeeze out an Oscar from one of two without knowing which one. Right. Right. But I don't believe they did.

No. Okay. I know someone whose mother talked about the movie Michael for about a decade. Everything reminded her of Michael. I wonder if I know this person. You might. I'm open to someone talking about phenomenon for a decade because that movie was crazy. Don't get me started about Byzantennial, man.

How do you save a dying horse? You hoist them up. To his feet and boil blankets and put hot boiling blankets on him. It just depends on, again, what's ailing this horse. And from what I heard, it was something about his veins. He is. They said something about his veins were puffing out. Oh, by the way, they had a sound effect of a horse laboring to breathe.

Oh, that was very soothing. And it was one sound. It was like, it was like that. And they had, that was the entirety of the sound effect that they had captured. It went on forever. picked an episode throughout everything

involving this horse you just heard it it never stopped it never stopped that's like it's like in straps

when Ward Oates falls off the tower and he can't breathe and they go up to him and he goes he I miss the beginning of that sentence

it's like what this is like who should do scream they always use the same the will help scream yeah the will help scream The Wilhelms frame. This is the Wilhelm home.

It's in the library. Yeah. Yeah. It was beautiful. Well, okay. Danny and Joe really bond over keeping this horse alive. And the next morning the horse is doing just fine. Joe says he's never seen anybody work as hard as Danny has worked to keep this horse alive.

And Danny explains that he just wants to earn something so he can own it. He's never owned anything in his whole life except for his pathetic little soldier dog. He has a doll. It's carved out of wood. Yeah. It looks like a train conductor, a shirtless train conductor. It looks like a bespectacled train conductor. The little hat, I did, I paused it because I really wanted to see what the thing was.

My brain just said soldier. And it probably was a soldier. But from my perspective, as a peaceable person, who's not constantly thinking about war fighting and giving more money to the defense. That's what I was thinking. I felt that he looked like a train. Conductor wearing glasses with no shirt because I thought I'd sign nipples. Don't you think these were pocket buttons or something like that? Well, now I do.

Okay. Who would give a child a shirtless train conductor wearing glasses with prominent nipples as a toy? I don't know. I think if you look at that era, you'd be a little surprised by all kinds of things that children were allowed to do, asked to do and made to do. I'm sure you're right. Well, now I made a note that 20 minutes in, this is a story with. no complications. Oh, that's not true.

Oh, yeah. Well, that was a minor complication. But it gets resolved pretty quick. Now, Danny receives a new outfit of clothing. And Joe rides up on them and says, hey, are you going to the big party tonight? And Danny says, are you asking? I know. It's very sweet.

Yeah. And Joe says, I am asking. And Danny says, then I'm going. It's very sweet. It's very sweet. It's very nice. Before it's time. Just like last episode.

Adam got into a domestic partnership situation in the last episode with his human project. Like me joining your marriage. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. That's what it is. It's beautiful. So now, all right, this is the first time I believe we've ever seen the Ponderosa Ranch Hand Bunkhouse. Okay.

And we see. I thought you were saying a person's name was Bunkhouse. I have since caught up. Okay. It was a very brief period of time that you, I was going to say, now who played Bunk House? I'm sure. And I'm glad I didn't. I like that name.

Many people would have been named Bunkhouse at this time, but not in this episode. We got a guy named Bob and a guy named Teller, and they are sprucing themselves up in a mirror. Oh, the squirrels are going crazy. It really are. And they're going to get them some preties. That's how they refer to women. Some prettys? I did not care for that.

Bob says, come on, let's go find them pretties. That's what he's looking for. But along the way. And Bob's the one that disappeared. Huh? No, that's the guy at the beginning. Sorry. Sorry, the one that I confused him for the sadistic guy at the beginning.

He disappeared. This is the one who's still. He's still alive and shows his movies. That's right. Can you throw in some more intermittent honks throughout this? Just for me? Just pepper them in as they go. It's great.

So now, oh, they get crosswise with, what's his name? With our hero, Danny. Danny Kid. They start messing with his shirtless conductor toy. And all he was doing was rooting through his belongings looking for a bright neckerchief. Yeah, he just wanted. I guess that would have been okay. He had a hunts, there might be a bright necker.

He's like, oh, let me just rummage through this person's stuff. Okay. The better to get a pretty. So, but. Well, that's interesting that you said the better to see you with. Is that because it doesn't the, yeah, doesn't the wicked witch call Dorothy a pretty? Oh, my pretties. My pretties.

Yeah, I guess that's my little pretty. This just proves that everything always goes back to the Wizard of Oz. That's true. Yeah, it is. And LSD. Now, where were we? Well, okay. Now we're at the party.

Here we are. This is the big party. Everybody's square dancing. And by everybody, he means there are two people square dancing because I think they could afford to hire four dancers. That's line dancing. You can't square dance with at least four people. You need four people. It wasn't quite square dancing.

What kind of dancing would you call that dance? I still think of it as square dancing. But there wasn't a caller. I guess that's true. They were just sort of a four. It was formal hopping around. It was formal hopping around. Okay.

In circles. Very nice. All right. People are really dressed up. Danny comes in. He ain't never been to no kind of party before I tell you that. And who should come right for him, but Ann. And she is a troll-up. She just starts coming on hard.

And that was that Janet Lake? That's Janet Lake. And she's got a little toy, a fellow who ain't never seen a woman before or anything like that. Don't confuse it because now it sounds like you're talking about that soldier toy. The soldier toy does not make an appearance of that party. She's treating Danny like. like a little, she's like a cat with a mouse. It's like she wants to see his nipples.

Yeah. And she starts missing around with him and he's all shy and he's blushing and all and stuff. Well, who doesn't like this? Bob and tell her, especially Bob. Uh-uh. Stand on the other side of the room going, well, well, look who's getting all the attention from. I'm going to get that damn pretty.

And now someone I'm getting pretty. She's the prettiest pretty and the pretty. So here's what they conspired to do. You two are insane. Well, you'd understand if you'd see the air. that I would simply reply. There we go. So they go and they tell

Am's father that she is over there. Look, I'm managing to get out of the shot. She's over there. How do you do that? Why? We're out of the shot. That she is consorting. She's consorting

with an ex-convict and he is truly outraged. He says to get your coat. We're leaving. I didn't know you was over here dancing with a. damn dick's convict. And so, and they're trying to butter him up the cartwrights are because they want to sell him a steer that they got in Yuma. Anyway, see, sometimes I do leave parts out of the story that aren't important. I don't even remember that part, so I can't have been key.

So now Adam fires Bob and tell her on the spot because of their chicaneries. Yeah, he finds out. He says, who told the person the truth about this man? Yeah. And they said, well, we did. And he says, I'll have your wages ready for you, which I now understand means they're fired. Oh, yes. I'll have your wages ready for you in 10 minutes to pack your things.

That's another way of saying you're fired. That's what Elon Musk is doing to everybody in the goddamn government. Now, hold on, hold on. God damn that Elon Musk. He's walking around saying, I'll have your wages ready for you in 10 minutes. I don't think he's giving anyone wages. That's true. Okay, Joe, Adam, and Danny, see off their last.

guess, and then Joe and Danny are at the pump, and here come Bob and tell her they're going to attack. They got nothing to lose. And they go, they're sitting on little Joe and Danny, and they attack him. And Danny says, well, he doesn't understand. When is it time to fight a man and when is it time to kill a man? Absolutely. They just wanted to, you know, do a fist-a-cuff scenario. But Danny goes straight for the shovel.

Yeah. He's going to hit him in the face with the shovel. It's a big fork, you know. It's more of a big spoon. It's a big spoon. He's going to kill him all our mode. That's right. just like Davy Crockett.

Thank you. You finally get it. I do. So that's it. And the guy who wants to punch out Danny immediately as soon as Danny picks up the shovel, he's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. What is it?

We are sophisticated young man here. Why would you do that? I'm just going to bust your lip and leave you in the dirt for fun. But, no, he almost gets drowned in the trough for his troubles, this bad guy. Wait, so what happens? Does he hit him with a shovel? No. he still ends up, he doesn't use a shovel, but he does almost drown him.

But he still pushes him down into the water. He still could kill him. He's killing him. He's drowning. Danny is drowning Bob in the trough until little Joe manages to throw off teller and intervene and save Bob's life. And in the process, save Danny from becoming a murderer yet again. We don't know.

We don't know if he's a murderer. We don't know if he murdered the Epipathy. We don't know. Well, uh, I'm not going to play the club. clip. Well, maybe it. No, I'm not. But at 30 minutes and 50 seconds, there is a failed casual hat toss. Did you see that? Oh, I did not. Oh, I think you, Matt. Would you come over here, please? All right. How long is it going to take you to set up the clip? 20 minutes. Okay. But that's no problem here. All right. A failed hat toss. A failed casual hat toss. Did they show up a lot

in the show? No, but it's one of these things where they probably should have done a second take. But there was too much honking around going on. In real life on the ranch, you don't always get a second take. You don't always get a second take. Okay, now let me see if I confess, forwards to 30-50. Oh. Oh, I'm doing a bad job of estimating where to put my thing. Here we go.

30. Where are we at? Oh, I went eight seconds too far. Oh, me. We have turned it more goose-like. Yeah. Yeah, it wasn't so goose-like to begin with. Okay, here we go.

It's going to, I'll make you watch 13 seconds of nonsense, and then we'll see the casual hat tossing. Well, that's still the most of the episode you'll have seen. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what the one. Here. Take that cursor off the timeline.

Welcome home, huh? Adam said you want to see me. It made a lot of noise, Landon. It did make a lot of noise. We'll watch it again. Look over on the right side of the screen, right? Just almost out of you. Welcome home, huh?

Adam said you. I'm so glad you showed that. I can't believe. I would have felt cheated if I hadn't gone to see that. That's a real, James. Bond move there. Oh, my goodness. It's ridiculous.

He just tosses his head. Uncle where he was planning for it to land in the first place. Good point. He just tosses it onto this table and it immediately slides onto the ground and it makes a real sound when it hits the floor. They didn't do anything about that. No. No.

Oh, that's very funny. I'm glad we watched that clip. Me too. Okay, Joe. It just gets so hard to keep. All right. Okay. Well, I can tell you.

Yeah. He is allowed to. this day, even though he almost drowns, this other man, the, what's the dad's name? Ben, Carb. Ben, Carp. Ben says, I think that you should, we should say, this is not good. Like, he's going to, I heard from the rumor mill that he almost killed this, this other guy. And then he has the whole speech all over again. It's just a regurgitation of what he's like, but I think he's okay. No, this is bad. He's going to be all right. He's my responsibility. And then the dad kind of just says, but, you know, it's a big responsibility.

So they have that exchange again. They have to put them down. They have it again. Well, no. But here's what happens now. Now, now I remember. Because this is very, this is the spiciest part. This is the big, big scene.

Old Danny is in the barn. Who should come along but Ann the tempteress yet again. And this time she's really like, you ain't never kissed a girl. And so he kisses her. It's very spiteful. Yeah. Oh, and she says, I've never had to throw myself at a man before. I don't believe that.

She's real good at it. And then he kisses her. She giggles at him for how tepid a weak little kiss it was. So then he really. How respectful. Yes. And quiet and calm and trepidacious a kiss it was. She laughs at him.

She finds it hilarious. I would say she nearly cackles. Uh-huh. Wow. And then he grabs her by the shoulders and plants a firm manly, violent kiss on her. That's it. I saw no tongue. Uh-huh. It's just sort of a lip mash.

A lip mash. He mashes his lips on her lips. And somehow it rips her shirt. Somehow. And she goes running out of there like she's been mulled by a mom. And I will add, because I do think this is important for his character. Please, yes. He has barely stopped kissing her before he's apologizing. He's like, I'm so sorry.

I had no right to do that. That's right. I'm so sorry. Wow. That's right. But she runs right into Little Joe and says, I've been attacked by that beast of yours in the third. thing.

And now little Joe says, well, that's it. Shit. He says, sorry, man, pack your stuff. He has the audacity to believe the woman. I know. It's absurd. That's what causes all the problems in this episode. It's absurd.

I'm just saying real quick that I'm never going to miss another episode because having it told to me directly in a form that much like my parents would talk to me, where they're tag teaming and interrupting each other, I will never miss. Are you sure you don't mean I will never watch another episode and that I will be here every week? Are you sure? You guys are drilling down on me so hard. I don't think that you are. I don't think you mean it.

And I want you to think about what you said. I want you trying to convince me of something. I want you to go to your room and think about what you just said. Oh, my God. But if you think you're borrowing the car this weekend, young man. Exactly. How dare you say we're like your parents? No wonder I'm off camera.

I'm trying to squirm away from my mom and dad telling me a story about. Uncle Larry and I drove car off a bridge. What do you mean you don't remember Uncle Larry? Uncle Larry came to the... All right. So now Joe says, I'm taking you back to jail. That's all there is to it. You done kissed a girl and ripped her shirt.

And Danny says, okay, well, that makes sense. But then he knocks Joe out and steals his gun and takes his horse and rides off. And then all the other cartwrights say, let's go find him. It can't have gotten too far. Little Joe sneaks out at night and he just wants to do it all by himself and confront Danny. And he gets out there and he finds Danny in the morning sleeping. And he says, hey, man, everything's going to be fine. No, wait.

In the interim, Little Joe has found out that Ann said, I was teasing him. It was all my fault. She came clean very fast as well. She came clean. She said he wasn't so bad. She said I was taunting him and I was, I was, I was, this was not my best, I was not on my best behavior. year. But she usually doesn't have to throw herself at a man. Okay, mom and dad, what's the point? Hurry up. And she said, my shirt was, that sleeve came off all the time. So all right.

She had it rigged. Yeah. She was going to compete in one of those quick change things. Oh, that's what happened. There was a lot of backstory. Okay. So now Joe says, I'm happy to say I can bring you back to the ranch now and everything's fine. Now I see it. What? It does seem like he's. It doesn't seem like. It don't seem like. like you're in trouble. I'm seeing it now. I sat back just two more inches and all of a sudden I'm like I was in trouble. You got to have an aesthetic distance. What did I do? What did you do? What did I do to you? Well, I don't know. But if there's no way to explain an episode of Bonanza without hectoring it. Yeah. So all right. Danny says, okay, great. I'm excited to come back with you. And then he attacks little Joe. Because he doesn't want to come back to

the Ponderosa. It's just another prison. I don't think he trusts it. No. That's he's been getting a lot of you know, flippity floppity. And the two of them have, I'm telling you, the best brawl. It's very romantic. It's very passionate brawl we've ever seen in the show. It's very passionate, romantic. The swaps from actor to stunt

actor and back again are like head spinning. It's wild. They do all kinds. They flip each other around. And they're kind of doing a little bit of a version of what the horse did. You hear a lot of like surprise gasps. Oh. It's crazy.

But then what happens is, As Joe says to him, okay, hey, look, you can make your own choice. You can come back to the Ponderosa if you like, which I would like you to do because I like you very much. Or you can go on a merry way and see. You've had too many people telling you what to do with you. I'm going to look somewhere else. That's right. You've had too many people telling you what to do with your life, your whole life, and now it's up to you.

More difficult. And now it's up to you. And so Little Joe rides off and he runs into his family members who have cut their breakfast short in previous scene to come to sort this business out. And so they are hungry. And they are all surprised that Danny comes riding

up and he is going to... He came back on his own. He made his own decision to return to the Pondola Rosa. The dog ran away and the dog came back. You're saying that I shouldn't go off to college. That's right. All we have been trying to do this whole time

is tell you about an episode of Benanza. Okay. I get it. This is on you. This is your issue from your past. I get it. I understand. And this is not bode well for me because I don't see a situation in which case you want to date your own mom unless it's in the womb. And you're planning on making grandchildren. Now you understand.

But why did you leave your mom and dad to go to college? That was the wrong thing to do. I'll think about it. They care about you so much. You got to let me go the way little Jolette, Danny. I guess so. Let me tell you a story about a very giving tree. Oh, Christ.

That tree was a sap. Oh, that tree. Now, what happens then is what you may call them. Oh, at the very end, Joe and Danny raced their horses back to the Ponderosa, and Ben says they've got something money can't buy. It's called Friendship. Yeah, they really shoehorn that in at the end. It's called the title of this episode.

That's right. Exactly. And so, of course, these two characters, Little Joe and Danny, I expect we'll see them in every episode of this show going forward. Well, I know. I don't know. I'm not sure that's true. What do you mean?

How could it not be? He's a ranch hand. Well, you're the expert. I'm not. I don't know why I would even argue that. I've got to get back to college. What? Where do you think you're going?

I don't think so. You didn't need anything. Oh, come on. Get yourself and put a sandwich together. Put you a damn a sandwich together. I can't tell you with precision how many episodes of Bonanza there are left to recap for us because things are getting higgledy, piggledy with numbers, but I believe it's something in the

neighborhood of 358, which is too low. There's only 358 episodes left of this show. Oh, no. But you know what? I would say that Robert Altman would appreciate a story told out of sequence. So it actually makes sense that you're waiting. Is this the last Altman episode? Not

this one, but the, yes. The one that we're going to do. Yeah. The next Robert Altman episode. So you're just wanted to clarify he did not direct this episode. He did not direct this episode. But there would be a certain time on here. I'll tell you who directed this episode. Please do.

All right, I will. I'll go back up to the top of my document. Don McDougal. Don McDougal. This is his... That's why you thought you had to have a Scottish. Oh, yeah. You didn't need to watch the episode.

It's a McDougal directed it. This is his second of 31 Bonanza episodes. He also directed five Fall Guys and 18 Dukes of Hazards. 18 Dukes of Hazards. Five Fall Guys burgers. That's a bit... Huh? Did you say

Fall Guys burgers? I said five Fall Guys burgers. I don't remember anyone speaking to you. We were not talking to you. You will speak with spoken to you. You will speak. Let's talk to.

Now, y'all, I hate to get serious and poetic for a moment. Okay. But the last time I was here, I did provide you with a haiku because I'm a fan of your poetry. Oh, I thank you very much. So I wrote another haiku.

Well, I'm not wild about Japan, but let's hear it. I'm sorry? Never mind. Let's hear your haiku. follows a format of five syllabuses. That's right. Five syllablesuses.

Yes. And then five syllabuses again. That's correct. Okay. Here we go. Friendship has set sail. Don't taunt an ex-convergent. Doeshorse die.com.

Now, I forgot about that. This is another episode in which you don't know if the horse is going to die. Yeah. So it just felt right to bring that back. That's nice. Beautiful.

So you run a website called doeshors die.com where people can tune in and find out if the horse does. I've sold it. Oh, you sold it? Yes. I just, there was too much. Too much going on. I couldn't even access the internet from Arizona. Oh, of course not.

Once I crossed that border. Did you get a good price for it? I'm not sure. I don't know anything about selling things. Okay. $20. Oh, dear. No, that's a bad price.

I mean, I wouldn't sell a house for that much, but a house is not a website. And a website. It's so small. I was thinking about it in terms of square footage. And I thought, well, okay, how many, it can't even be a square foot. So I said $20 seems fair. In some ways, a website is unlimited square feet. Yeah, but that's when you get into that, like, esoteric, weird, like, existential stuff.

And I get uncomfortable. I understand. You know what I mean? I need to live in the real world. not the virtual one. Okay. That makes perfect sense. Well, are we going to the goddamn saddle ranch?

We are. Oh, we are. We're doing it. I'm here to stay. I'm not going anywhere. All right good. Let's fucking go right now. We'll go right now.

We'll go right now. And in one year, I will come back and we will describe exactly what happened. Well, I hope you come back sooner than that. We've had a delightful time here with Janelleu Hicks and Mutt Taylor, who is a fine young man who will straighten himself out. Sometimes he's a very bad boy. Bad boy. He's a bad boy. I took some peyote this morning.

That part of the problem. Oh, that is my Cheerios. All right, folks. With that, I'm going to sign off with a now get it. Bye now. Bananas for bananas. Brannas for bananas, brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Corley. Theme song by Matt Gordon.

with the journey, which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchikoff, and Wade Ryan. Bananas for Bananasas is mixed and edited by Mark McCombe. Executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Gould. We'll see you around.