Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #76: “The Horse Breaker”

Episode Date: February 11, 2026

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Dr. Loren Carter, PhD joins Dalton, Mutt and Markie to provide a psychologist's point of view to season 3, episode 10, "The Horse Breaker", in which the Cartwrights help fix a broken man who then breaks a woman. Featuring Lennon Parham, Lily Sullivan & Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.comRecord date: 6/19/2025 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Andy Daly, inviting you to subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daly, where each month we release a brand new bananas for bananas for Bonanza episode, and two episodes of the comedy grab bag podcast, bonus nanza extravaganza. Plus, you get access to our Discord and other goodies. So do check it out at patreon.com slash Andy Daly. Thank you. guide, get your great outdoors inside, take some ponderosa pride and forever made. Right. Hey! Welcome to bananas for bananas.

Damn, I couldn't be more excited. I could. No, I couldn't be. I'm trying to think I don't want to lie. Could I be more excited than I am right now? I don't think so. I'm happy to be talking about bananas of my favorite TV show of old time. I'm so happy to be here to talking about bananas because I'll tell you what, I'm breathing

there. Yep. And I'm watching bananas. And that's living. That's all you need to do. And what's living but slowly dying? Here, here. Wait a minute.

Do I sign on to that? I guess so. Look who's here. It's my niece, Markey. And I think we finally found a Bonanza episode Marky loved. Speaking of dying, I wanted to die the whole episode. Because you're dying to watch it again? No.

It was this one. Uh-uh. What do you mean? This episode was, this is. the 10th episode of the third season. It's called The Horsebreaker. And man, this episode had everything. It's got all four members of the regular cast, unusual.

It's got a woman, a whole woman. Wow. And she's got things to say. It's got gunfire. It's got a medical miracle. It's beautiful. Right. And it had everything.

What could you, what more, what else, name one other thing that this episode could ahead to make you happier. One other woman. Oh, a second woman? Take it easy. All right. This is Bonanza. Okay.

Also, what's the one brother name, Adam? Yeah. He's never in the show. I was like, who is he? Oh, yes, he's often not in the show. He doesn't have any plots around him ever, does he? He used to, but then I think he started pissing people off. Yeah.

Are we at that point yet? No. No. Well, we are at that point. Yeah. He stayed on the show for a whole. five seasons. Yeah.

So, yeah, he's got two more seasons. But he's not happy being here. It doesn't seem that way. Pernell Roberts was too high and mighty for Bananza. He must have been just like having Marky around. Oh, God. Yeah, I'm surprised you don't like that. I don't even want to be here.

I have a summer job. Oh, yeah. What are your plans for? We have a guest I want to get to real quick. Should we introduce a guest? Yeah, let's introduce our guests. Ladies and gentlemen, we are very excited to be joined by a guest that I don't know too much, very much about, but we're going to find out.

Her name is Dr. Lauren Carter. Dr. Lauren Carter, welcome. Thank you for having me. A lot of, a lot to discuss. It's wonderful to have you here. Tell us about your doctorism. You have, obviously, you go by a doctor. Yes.

It means you must have one of them, you've been to school for it. Yes, a PhD. A PhD. Yes, and I also am a psychoanalyst, so. Oh, like a doctor of the psychology brain. Yes. Oh, I can't wait to get your assessment of Markey and what's so loosey-goosey up there. Oh, they pay me the good money for that.

I've already been to a psychiatrist before, so. Are you medicated? I'm heavily medicated. Okay. Okay. On marijuana. Oh, God damn. How old are you, hon?

I'm 15. Yeah. She's got one of them medical marijuana cards, I tell her. Yeah, you can get those in California. When you're 15, it seems. Is it young? Yeah. Doesn't it seem young?

Where'd you get it? From my dad. You used his call. part? Yeah. Yeah. She puts on a false mustache and goes down to the dispensary. It's infuriating. Yeah, she does look just like them, I will say. You do look like a man. Thank you. Yeah. My man. Yeah. What do you, what do you do? I'm usually in clinic with patients hourly seeing people helping them out. Yeah. What they come to me and whatever they, want to work on. That's what we work on usually. Outstanding. And I've wanted for a long

time to have like a mental expert on to talk about Bonanza because I feel there's so many very layers on the show. What do I do if I'm sad? Oh, okay. Well, there's a lot of techniques. DBT or CBT would have you doing something physical like getting out exercising. You could also splash cold water

on your face, take a cold shower. That's all it takes. Do something joyful. I mean, if you're 24-7 sad and you don't want to get out of bed, then there's other things we should talk about. It's more than I'm 24-7 sad, but I don't want to get into bed. Oh, interesting. Go figure that. Well, maybe you need a more comfortable bed. Is that all it is?

Yeah, is it sometimes I answer into psychology? Not usually. No. That's not usually the same. If I get a Casper mattress with cooling gel. Oh, did that do it? You see that ad pop up on YouTube? Yeah, I mean, we could talk about mattresses, sure, but I've

rather talk about maybe your childhood or if you're finding your purpose through, say, your work, so you never want to sit down because you don't want to be a lazy man because your dad used to scream, you're so lazy at you or something like that. You knew him? Well, it's just a classic. She's good. What? She's classic. That's classic.

Classic dad trope. Classic dad trope. That's too bad. Well, I'm a good uncle. I do it. Even though I'm just her uncle, I tell her old time. lazy she is. You see that? Gosh. I have depression when I'm

here. And I have depression at my summer job. What's your summer job? I'm working for a doctor, actually. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I do the admin work. He does, he helps all the guys get hair

transplants in Turkey. In Turkey? Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Is he, are you in Turkey? What, are you in Turkey? No, it's here. I organize their stays abroad. Oh, no travel. Yeah, and I do the Photoshop so that they know what they're going to look like when they come back with hair. Are you skilled at Photoshop?

Yeah, it's like really easy. You just use an app. But for all these bald guys, they're like shocked. Why can't they just do it here? Why do they have to go to Turkey? Because it's cheaper in Turkey. So the patient. Even with the air travel and the hotel stay?

Yeah. The doctor is in Turkey? Yeah. But I work for him here. I work remote. Isn't Turkey the country with the terrible, terrible leader? Yeah. Erron.

Is that him? Yeah. What's his name? Hair on? Erdogan. Oh, should have been hair on. Hair on. Yeah.

Yeah. You know, makes more sense. Anyway, I hate bald guys. It means me so depressed working there. They're so high maintenance. They don't want to stay where I put them up. I tried to get them to stay at a hostel. That's a hard job.

You've got to coordinate the travel of a bald man. to Turkey to get his surgeries there and then home again? Yes. And where he's going to stay? Yes. And they're always like, I don't want to stay at the hospital. I'm like, get over yourself. Okay. It's a hospital stay? Yeah. It's a hospital.

In Turkey it is. Here it would be an outpatient probably just, right? Yeah. It's plugs. It's plugs, but it takes all week. They have to do multiple plugs. Sounds like this guy's doing it, right. It takes hours. And then they just walk around town with the bandages on their head.

they're all bloody and stuff. There's blood dripping down their face. But in Turkey, that's normal. That's totally normal in Turkey. That's brilliant, though. I don't know anybody in Turkey. So if I'm going to walk around with bandages all over my head and whatnot, I'd rather do it in Turkey than here in this country.

Exactly. You don't have to see people, you know. So then did you really hate the character of Nathan Clay? Yeah, because he was bald. It was sickening. He would be so high maintenance I can already tell. Yeah. Did you know he was bald before he took his.

hat off? I could tell, yeah. I can tell, I mean, I cannot tell right now which one of you guys is going to go bald. Wait, what about, what? One of you is going to go bald. When? Today? Soon. Oh, Jesus. I don't think that's right. I don't think that could possibly be true. What about the actor Nicholas Holt, who's attractive, but he's bald in the new Superman movie? What do you do with that? That's a shaved head. That's a very different. That was a choice. Okay. Maybe a bald cap. But he's playing a character that is bald. Lex Luthor. Yeah. Wow, you really know yourself. All right.

Now, here's what I wanted to know. You're doing Photoshop's of how they're going to look after the process. Yes. And is it, now, be honest with me now. Is it accurate? Do you end up, because now you sometimes I'm sure see the process at the end of the process. Do you ever go back and look at the Photoshop you made for them and say, Yeah, what's your hit rate?

Yeah. I would say my hit rate is really low. Usually I almost always just take Zach effort. Brown's hair. I was going to ask where you got the hair. Yeah. Kind of that really like swoopy boy band look. Before you got buff.

Even if they're like a like platinum blonde hair on the person, you put that on them? Yeah, always. I can change the color. Sometimes they do gym from the office's hair, you know, with a little flip in the back. Oh, yeah, the American office. The American office. Oh, get over yourself. You thought I went to the British.

This guy's a BBC officer to the day he dies and I'm right there with him. I'll tell you what. But have you guys seen a Turkish office? They all have bandages on their head all day. It's a bandage company. They make gauze, right? Do you do surgery at your office? No surgery, no.

No. What's the most severe case you've ever seen? I can't tell you. Oh, come on. You said alias. Yeah, that is right. I obviously can't speak about it. Really?

You can't tell us even about your patients. Client privilege. I mean, I could speak about my own. personal struggles, but I couldn't share a client even without a name. Without a real name. The human that we're talking about for like a Pokemon and tell us about the Pokemon. Or like a Labubu. Yeah.

We'll know that Labubu is whoever, Clark or whoever you're talking about. What's a Labubu? Labou is a toy that has become very popular. It looks like a where the wild things are character. Oh, okay. Come to life. and they're little and they're usually in a box. You don't know which one you're going to get.

Oh, I love that. Boy, that's fun, huh? You don't know which one you're going to get you open the book. You could get the same one 10 damn times. You could. And some of them are rare. And then they also have ferocious teeth. Yeah, kids love that, right?

Yeah, they're cute, but they're also dangerous. So these kids need to understand that. Something that looks good going to turn around and hurt you or kill you. Every damn time. You ever do shooting therapy? What's that? Where we shoot heroin or? No, no, no.

Where you go out with a gun and you shoot things to feel better. Like skeet? Could be skeet. Could be beer cans. Could be werewolves. Could be anything. I don't do shooting with guns, but I am an expert archer. You are?

And excuse me, you are doing therapy where people shoot up with heroin? No. No, I just wanted to clarify. No, no, we're not doing that. But that is a thing, huh? That's a kind of a thing. therapy. Well, that is how people self-medicates a lot of times with drug and alcohol or with work and not ever sitting down. Except for right now.

Wow, you're an archer. But you're still working. That's true. Yeah. You're an archer. Yeah. Wow. How'd you get into archery? I read the Hunger Games. Have you read that book? Oh, my God. I saw the movie, yeah. I read them all. I saw it. It's a really old film, The Hunger Games. It's not that old.

Yeah, it was 2000. It's older than me. 11? Yeah. She thinks everything's old. It's ridiculous. She thinks she called me old. You believe that?

Come on. I'm a young man in the prime of a... You should be wearing short pants and little suspendies. I agree. Yeah. Well, all right. We've all done watch this episode of Bonanza, have we not? And we've got prepared to discuss it.

I think this was one of the best ones of all time, especially because all about how it, how we learned about women. women's and how women's work is not so different from horses, turns out, right? No, yeah. Yeah. To tame your woman. That's right.

Break her in. That's right. This episode, the fellow who's an expert at breaking horses, he says, there's two things I understand, horses and women. He says that early in the episode. In that order. Doesn't he go on to prove it? I tell you what.

Well, this episode aired on November of the 26th and 1961, just a few quick facts about what was going on in the country at that time. The number one movie was King of Kings. You ever hear of King of Kings? A Christ movie? It's a Jesus Christ movie. It's got all the regular characters in it.

It's got your guy who a punches pilot. That's right. He's in there. Judas is in there. It's got that lady, the prostitute lady, all the regular characters you used to see. One woman. When Jesus comes around. What's that?

Mary Magdalene. Okay, there you go. She's not a prostitute. she's a sex worker. She always, God damn, I gave it wrong every time. Back then, she was a sex worker. Yeah. Because that's a new term, so I don't think you can grandfather of these people in it.

You think she was walking around going, I'm a prostitute? Yeah. Mary Magdalene. Uh-huh. I think she's probably, it goes in the timeline, hooker, prostitute, sex workers. So she's probably going around saying. She also just might have been a woman who had was unmarried and had pleasured herself in some way and carried herself with a tiny bit of confidence and that terrified.

everyone. See, thank you. That is terrifying. It's nice to have another woman in here for once. It's like, I don't consider you a woman. I'm a full grown woman. Oh, for heaven's sake. Guys, you forgot.

She's on her way. Watch out world. Okay. Jesus Christ. Watch out. Not if I have anything to do with it. Man, oh man. Well, you can't hold her down.

She's not a fucking horse. Well, I might. I'll try though. I might try. Well, all right. Yeah, I'm not a fucking horse. Oh, my God. A fucking horse?

Yeah, I'm not fucking any horses. Oh, all right. Speaking of Nicholas Holt. Yeah. What about him? He fucks horses? No. Oh, Catherine the Great.

But he was in that show called The Great, which I just loved, right? And she was, it was like a legend that she fucked horses. Oh, yeah. Did she fuck them or did they fuck her? Neither one. Okay. Neither one happened for real. But it does feel like they should clarify which it is, even if it is a legend.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Well, they talk about it in the show. Who's the bottom and who's the time? top. Really good question. So they did have it happen in the show, though. No.

She didn't do that. She didn't fuck the worst. That's literally impossible. She blue balled the horse? Oh, man. What? That's not her fault if the horse got hard. What was she wearing?

Well, exactly. So you're saying this is a television show where they talk about a woman fucking a horse, but it never happened? Well, the legend of Catherine. the great who was a French woman that came and married into, right, the Russian oligarchy and then basically took over and through mutiny and all sorts of things and overthrew her husband who was a despot, but also cute as hell, because he was played by Nicholas Holt. But he would just kill for fun and she started to make it like more of a democratic.

Okay. And then she got her comeuppance in some way or other. I never finished it, so I don't know. Okay. Was she at least like romantically attracted to horses, even if she wasn't fucking, was she dating? I think it was a rumor that the court started in order to minimize her power. Oh, yeah. Classic.

As is the way of the world with women who have any kind of power. Have you had some rumors about you that people have started because you're so powerful? I can tell. Thank you. You have a really good aura. Thank you so much. I have had a couple of death threats. Which is one of the reasons I got, you know, I began archery because I wanted to be able to protect myself.

Uh-huh. It seems a little slow, archery. Like, if someone were to, like, come in to attack you, then you have to go get your arrows and, like, get your bow. No, I carry them with me at all times. In the office? Yeah, everywhere. Or they're right by the chair, under the chair. Her little quiver of arrows over there.

Also, with archery, here's my question. Is someone's, like, this close, like, two feet away? Yeah. How am I going to hit them with an arrow? How would they get that close? You just stab them. Oh, that's a good. Yeah.

What would you say? And also that would be deadly coming from that. Would you say? It probably actually would just ricochet off the body. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I think it wouldn't push them at all. You're probably right. But what's the distance that you could fire an arrow at somebody and kill them?

You know what I mean? Well, it depends on where you hit them, right? But I guess what I'm saying is, is there a certain radius that you say, don't come any closer than that because I can't arrow you from here if you get close. Oh, I see what you're saying. You know what I mean? Well, I think when you shoot an arrow it picks up steam until

a certain point and then it loses steam. Oh, sure. Right. So from what I understand it's 11 feet seven inches. Okay. I'll be damned. Where the velocity hits its max and after that it goes down. So if I could keep people

in that sort of perimeter then that's good. And that's how far the chair is during our sessions. It's set of 11 feet. Seven inches, yeah. That's more. That's twice of COVID. Do you think it affects people's willingness to open up that you are wearing like a violent?

Well, I have it under my chair. But it is always at the ready. I think it affects openness being 12 feet away going, I'm sad. How far do you think 12 feet is? Right now, how far away are we? Six inches. right right so this is actually about we're all so close this is actually about three and a half four feet right here are you talking metric from from eyes to eyes oh it's metric it's god damn metric sisters what are we going to do about

this is my god man this is actually the american system measuring i can't believe trump hadn't done nothing about that by the way just say god damn no more meters and shit yeah right yeah seemed like a thing he'd do. I bet he will. That'll be a third term issue. Well, the King of Kings movie. Did you know Mia Farrow's father was a director? I didn't know that. John Farrow was he was supposed to direct the King of Kings, but he dropped out of the project because the script went too easy on the Jews. Isn't that interesting? Okay. He said, yeah, he says it put too much blame on the Romans. And so he got off the project. He said he didn't want to do that. Man of principal. Yeah, man of principle. The New York, no, Time magazine said King of Kings was

incontestably the phoniest, and most monstrously vulgar of all the big Bible stories Hollywood has told in the last decade. But it was the number one movie in the country the weekend that this episode of... It makes me understand Mia a little better now. You think why she made some of the choices she made in her life. Uh-huh, there you go. It calls those old's about the father, isn't it? Oh, it's always blaming father. I swear to God.

You're always blaming the father. Classic dad. Classic dad. Classic father trope. Yep. He's a strong father. Okay. Let's see here.

Big Bad John. I mean, Woody Allen is like the most Jewish person you've ever seen. Yeah. Oh, isn't that interesting? Oh, I was thinking Sinatra and how just patriarchal he seems. Boy, she really went both ways, huh? Yeah. I'd say Sinatra's the second most Jewish person I could think of right behind Woody Allen.

I didn't mean Jewish. I just meant like she was dating her dad, a stern patriarchal figure. And then she went the other way with Wooda Allen. Okay. All right. Wooda Allen. You guys heard the legend of Wood eye Allen. I wouldn't mind hearing it.

Round of campfire, about six. Nothing to do with that. About 11 feet away from you. Crazy. like one of those nicknames like tiny and the guy's really big. Yeah, they're my ironical nicknames. Hey, there's a, the borne on this day was ivory, the American professional wrestler. A lady.

Is she from Glow? She's from Englewood, California. I meant to look into it. I forgot. Oh, Will. That's all right. All right. You want to hear some fun facts about people's involved in this episode of Bonanza.

I would love to. Oh, okay. Just kidding. What? Yeah, are you going to love it? Don McDougal directed this one. Donnie Dougal? No, Don McDougal.

Oh, yeah, that's better. Donny Dougal is a good name too. Don McDougal, man, he did 18 Dukes of Hazards. Oh, man, the best ones. Yeah. All right. Frank Chase, hey, speaking of Wooda Allen, Frank Chase wrote this episode. His father, Borden Chase, we talked about these guys before, was also on the writing staff of Bonanza.

father's son all the writing stuff. Wow. Wow. And Borden Chase was married to Frank Chase's step sister. What happened? Oh, right. He married a lady who had a teenage daughter. Oh, no, it's Woody Allen stuff. Exactly. Really? He's the prototypical Woody Allen. That's right. He did talk about this. Yeah. And then he married his stepdaughter. This beautiful story. So Frank Chase who wrote this episode Tale is on his time Yeah He's going to work every day at the Paramount lot

With his father I reckon they would have car pulled in together And meanwhile His father's married to his stepsister Beautiful stuff Come on now It's beautiful His step-sister

His stepmother was his stepmother That's what's fun about it All right Johnny Lightley, the fella that can't walk in most of this episode, is played by Ben Cooper. He was a child actor on Broadway and radio serials. He traveled to 20 states in 1964 to campaign for Barry Goldwater to be president to the United States. Wow. Yeah, he is also a Golden Boot Award winning actor.

And here's a photo of him as an old man accepting his Golden Boot Award Award. Look how old he got. He still looks like a boy. He doesn't he? This guy claims that he spent 90 minutes a day, every day, practicing his quick draw. What else? I mean, you can't do any less than that. Are you going to get shot?

That's right. I do usually, I try to do three hours a day. Sometimes I only do get to two. Of just drawing? Just drawing my gun. What about shooting? I shoot if I have to, but most of the time I just draw on because there'd be a lot of bullets, two and a half hours a day is drawing and shooting.

It'd just be, if I had infinite bullets, I'd do it. That's the great thing about archery. You get your bullets back. Oh, are you, you doing bullets? What are you pulling them out of someone you've hit? Bullets were, it was a metaphor. Oh, what? So I use obviously arrows, right?

But I can go get my arrows back. So for the archer, right, an arrow. Arrow is your bullet. Here's a question. Do you pull it out of someone after you hit him? Oh, no. If I hit a person, I wouldn't take it back, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. Can you? It's theirs now. Could you... What a gift. Could you glue a bullet to the front of an arrow? Good question. Well, the arrow tip in some cases is already metal.

Okay. Right. But I'm saying put some gunpowder in there and make it. Where would that get lit? But though... Well, I don't know. Do you know how guns were? It can it can have a little like arming device on the front of it just like in Rambo First Blood Part 2.

Uh-huh. Yeah. What's a metaphor? Yeah. It's when you compare one thing to another to make to have it be an easier explanation. So. My brother. Watching Bonanza is like dying and getting killed again.

So that's a simile. Well, you know what a simile is, but you don't know what a metaphor is. You've never heard the word metaphor. Plus, you just described Jesus's story. Could you give me a metaphor for what a metaphor is? Oh, hey, whoa. A metaphor is a bridge to a new perspective. Now, I get it.

Thank you. Okay. Now, how is that different from what I did? You use like. Yeah, like is a simile. If you use like or as, it becomes a simile. So stupid. It is kind of a dumb rule.

It's the English language. It is a dumb, dumb language. It really is. It's just the word like makes it a different thing. That's right. Oh, bullshit. That's like bullshit. Okay.

That wasn't successful. That was a simile that I just did, wouldn't it? Yeah. It is. That rule about putting like in a thing and making it then a simile is like bullshit. That's a simile. Yeah. That's a simile.

Huh? Nothing. Anne Davis was played by Sue Randall. Her father was named Roland Rod Rock Randall. No. Yeah. That's a great name. Do you think Ann Davis is the reason that Alice from the Brady Bunch had to go as Ann B. Davis?

Well, the character's name was Ann Davis. My question stands. They also had the same hairdo. That's right. Exactly the same hairdo. Yeah. And kind of the same station. status and just taking care of a household a little bit.

Yeah, that's right. She was a medical professional who will also bring you some tea. I was thinking. But not with a smile. Yeah. What? Well, she'd been burned before by his kind. I guess so.

Yeah. Sue Randall played a leave it to Beaver's teacher. She had a car accident and retired from acting at 32. She was a lifelong heavy smoker. Who died a lung cancer at the end of the end. age of 49. Jesus. That's a fun fact.

We do fun facts. How old was she in this? Wow. If she hadn't retired yet. 23 or something. Something like that. She was young. She must have been smoking like four packs a day.

Yeah. By the way, I also found I meant to put the link in for her, but maybe I'll just describe it and we can imagine it. She was in commercials for cigarettes. No. Yes, she was. Yeah. What age was she in those?

younger than this, I think. Yeah. Well, after her car accident, she probably didn't have much to hold on to. Except the cigarettes. Yeah. She was probably depressed. Exactly. Well, she did. You know what she did after she retired?

She did lots of charity work. She did tons of charity work. Oh, isn't that lovely? That is nice. So she was the lady in the office of the charity, chain smoking cigarette, I guess. But she was on TV. She was on a show called OK Crackerbee. Okay, Cracker

Okay Crackerby Okay, Crackerby Okay, Crackerby What was that show? That was Burr Lives As a man who is disrespected by the staff at a hotel So he buys the hotel And moves his family into the penthouse

Hey man, I wish I could do that for all those guys Want to get their hair plugs What would you do, buy the man? Just move them into like a hotel somewhere Can't make sure they never come back to the States Is this show watchable? I want to see this show Burl I only know him from the holidays.

Burr-Lives? He was a year-round actor. Yeah, he was. Well, this show did one season, and then Burl Ives sent a letter to the trades saying, this show is over. It never caught fire script-wise, but the network hadn't canceled it.

Wow. Man, I like that. That's like when you break up with someone before they break up with you. That is the power of Burrell. Isn't that something? Burlives sent out a press release. saying that we're not doing this show anymore. Too many Jews.

Too many Jews. Yeah. That was one of his little folk songs, wasn't it? I think it was. Yep. Lavender's blue, Jewy, I can stop. Too many Jews.

Too many Jews. How many Hebrews can one deity choose? Wow. That was right off the top of your head. But Taylor, he's a songster. King of Kings. I'm an outlaw country fry brand musician.

She was also in a show called I'm Dickens, he's fenceder. No. What's that one? That's John Aston and Marty Engels as inept Los Angeles Carpenters. This sounds amazing. I know.

What's that one called? I'm Dickens, he's fenced? That's right. How long did that last? Not long at all. And I'm with Crackerby? What was the other one? Okay, Crackerby.

Okay, Crackerby. Isn't that what you? Okay, Google. I want that to be my house. home servant. Okay, Crackerby. Open the bridge. What time is sinners

plan? Okay, Boomer. You used to say that. You haven't heard that from you in a while. Okay, Boomer. You used to say that all the time. Okay, Boomer.

She was in a soap opera called Valiant Lady. Was she the titular lady? I don't know, but she was in 500. Or the asular lady. She was in what? 500. 510 episodes of Valiant Lady.

525,000. Here comes a song from Red. minutes. How do you miss it? This is one of them songs. You know, used to be you had a stereo in one room. This one carries around this goddamn speaker with her everywhere. She goes and playing all kinds of garbage.

Yeah. Yeah, you're doing karaoke. I'm going to sing the national anthem at my school. You are? Yeah. I'm Spanish. Let's hear a little bit. How can you?

How far away is she? because she sounds like she's 12 feet. No, she's just from you. Yeah. It's about five and a half feet. Well, that's going to be great. I sing it at the ball guys before we ship them off. Oh, you do?

You do? Yeah. I'm sure they appreciate that. Do they stand at attention? Yeah, they're all so vulnerable. They're all so scared. Oh, uh-huh. They start crying.

I'm like, it's going to be okay. They've been through a lot. I'm going to come back looking like Zach have run. Would you ever count? such a person mentally. Of course. Anyone that wants help can get help. Maybe that should be part of business.

Even a bald guy? Yeah, even a bald guy. No, there's no coming back. They're just some of the saddest people. Well, once they get the plugs, though. Once they get the plugs, they're medium happy. It doesn't look the way they wanted it to be.

Right. And they picked up a little Turkish along the way. Turkish delight. A little Turkish friend. Yeah. R.G. Armstrong played Nathan Clay, speaking of bald man. He was, what can I tell you?

But we talked about him before he played, here I'm bringing up a photo. Come on, computer. He played prune face and didn't Tracy move in it. I knew I'm not kidding. I was like, where do I know that guy from? Yeah, that's him there. They really didn't put much makeup on it.

Oh, that's a rude thing to say. That's a crazy amount of crazy makeup. He looks ridiculous. Prune face. However, to bolster your. point a little bit later in his career. He played the Sandman in the metallic music video of Sandman.

I guess I couldn't find a larger picture of it. What else did he play? You can drag it? He looks familiar. You think I can make it larger? Is he American? He's floating. He's floating. Does he have makeup on in that? No. That's just his face.

I know. That's the thing. I'll bet you when they hired him for Prune Face. They said, we don't need to put any makeup on him. Look at him. and he came in all excited for the makeup and they said, well, he don't have the heart to tell him.

We kissed him because he over goes like. So then they put the makeup on. Then they put the makeup on. That's a bit what happened. Isn't that funny in that movie because he was prune face anytime you look at him,

people just shit their pants? Is that? Oh, I get it. Yeah. Yeah. That was actually a good one. I'll give it up.

Oh, thank you, Marky. Yeah, that's nice prunes. It'll make you shoot your pants. He's in a bunch of Sam Peck and Paul movies. Movies.

I know that. He was in a 1955, Broadway production of cat on a hot tin roof as Big Daddy. Yeah. So that might have been, I don't know. All right. Don Burnett played Gordy Clay, one of the Clayboys.

He was married to beautiful Italian actress Gia Scala, but then he divorced her and moved him with Rock Hudson. That's a true fact. The younger one, the younger of the brothers. One brother looked like he was 67. And one brother looked like he was

22, and it was that brother. Yeah, it was that one. Yeah. Yeah, right. They was buddies. He and his wife was buddies with Rock Hudson, and then they divorced, and he moved in with Rock Hudson. And then later in life, he became a successful stocker broker. And now I want to tell you about Addison Richards is Dr. Paul Kay. He, okay, he had this guy, one of them guys, his I andDB pages, it's infuriatingly long. It just goes and goes and goes forever.

But you want to try and guess how old he was in this episode? The doctor? Yeah, the doctor. 64. 64. Yeah, I was going to say 63. I'll say, I'll say 50, 54.

I thought he'd look to be about 80, but he's 58. Oh, wow. I was struck. The other thing I'd want to tell you about you, it says in his IMDB that he was in so many movies at Warner Brothers that he was often in the studio's annual blooper reels from the late 30s.

Well, I done, looked him up on YouTube, and you can too. the 1930s that put out blooper reels. They're just like any blooper reels you'd care to watch today, except that, the only difference I could think of is the actors in the late 30s, when they fuck up a line, they get real mad. Oh, really?

Yeah, it's something to watch. It ain't fun in games. Every time it's, God damn it! That's just like my dad. Because film was valuable back then. Yeah. You deal with anger. You ever deal with anger issues?

Yes, a lot of anger. Somebody gets real mad at every little thing. You tickle them? No, I don't touch them. Keep them 11 feet away at least. That's just some weird hang-up you got or something? What do you mean? You don't want to touch them?

No, it's not appropriate for me to touch my patient. I'm not a massage therapist. You never do any tickle therapy at all, huh? You're so far away, you can't touch them anyway. That's probably right. Well, I mean, I could have obviously get up and walk over there, right? Unlike Johnny. But, no, tickle therapy is, I've never heard of that.

And, yeah, if someone is angry, usually anger covers another emotion, usually sadness. Really? It's easier to access. So someone that is angry all the time is usually carrying a lot of sadness around. Huh, interesting. Do you ever tell somebody that, like, has explosive anger or something like that? Just tell them like, yeah, no, you're right. I know, you're right.

And then just leave them alone. You know what I mean? Or just cool it. Well, you could validate and also say, but what is, what do you think is really going on? Because usually they, once the anger's out, we can access the sadness. It's similar to this episode, which was actually a very good, well, I mean, I wouldn't have taken the approach of like, let your son in and I'll shoot him. And then we'll have two sons dead. But the saying, like what this is really about is, you.

feel guilty that you didn't take care of your land and thus your son felt the need to go in and protect his family by robbing this bank and now he's dead, which is actually your fault and you're sad about your failure as a man to protect your family with just normal farmwork, right? So you got all that from Bonanza. Yeah. So he feels guilty. He said you're carrying that guilt, right?

you're carrying the sadness because this is all your fault. And once he heard that, it resonated, he realized all this anger was to cover all of that. Yes, yes. All of a sudden, it's like the fever broke. He became a sweetheart. Yep, exactly. Have you ever seen a transformation so quick in your own practice? No.

Okay. It's not usually. Try tickling. Well, you have, okay. I said no about that. Okay, okay. Have you ever done pickle therapy? What's that?

Pickle ball? Yeah, you just do pickleball, throw pickles in each other. Throw actual pickles in each other. No, I've never heard of that. It's so funny. What do they call pickleball, pickleball? Why? I don't know.

You think that was a setup to a joke? It's not. I just don't know what they're calling. What's a metaphor? What? To own Facebook. A meta. I got you.

All right. I liked it. That's real good. That's a good one. It works just fine. Thank you. That is fine. I don't make this.

You want me to tell it again? No. Don't think that I'm saying a rude thing. Yes, I'm listening. Because you've never seen a transformation as quickly as we saw in this episode. Yes. Would you say that Ben Cartwright is a better mental therapist than you are? Well, he uses techniques that I don't have access to.

So maybe if I threaten someone with my bow and arrow and said, hey, if you don't have, you know, if you don't very quickly get over yourself, I'm going to shoot this into your heart and kill you or kill your son who you've brought to this session. Yeah, right. There may be a quick turnaround, but I guarantee it's not over, right? There will be someone will have a regression or there will be some residual anger at being forced to, you need to let the person make their own, you know, decision about their, when they're ready to let go of the shackles of whatever they're carrying. or whatever they're blaming for their problem. But I think this is a, I think we might have just come up with something real important here,

which is that the Phil of Nathan Clay comes to change his whole way of thinking and behaving in the world at gunpoint. And that, it worked beautifully because he's on the threat of being shot in the face and watching his children die. Right. Could, should you try that in your practice? Well, that's what I just said would not work, right? But it did work in the show. Well, but that was a fictional episode written by a man and his son. So I don't think who was married to his step-sister.

So I don't think we should go off Bonanza for life lessons. Oh, that's the wrongest thing I've ever heard anybody say. Oh, thank God you're here. Thank you for saying everything. Where are you going to get your life lessons from, if not from Bonanza? From your life. How's that possible? From your life that you're living.

My life isn't on television. Right. Well, right. But everything doesn't tie up in 43 minutes. In life? Right. I'm not sure you're right about that, doctor. All right.

We can agree. We can agree to disagree. But, oh, man, I don't know. I think we might have just created something very important here. The idea of gunpoint therapy as far as a way to change somebody's mind. Well, I do think you have helped. me because I think with the bald guys when they get angry at me about booking them at like a shitty

hotel, I'm just going to be like, I know that you're sad right now. You're sad because your life sucks. Yeah. And you're holding a gun on them while you're right. And if you don't shut up, I'm going to shoot you in the head. There you go. Okay, that's beautiful. All right, let's recap this episode a little bit here.

It starts with Johnny Lightley. He's breaking a horse. Wait, what happened on this day? Did not tell you? I already told you. We talked about King of Kings, and Big Bad John is still the number one country song. I didn't hear that. All right. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I might have skipped it. Big Bad John by Jimmy Dean, the sausage band. Yeah, okay. That man was a recording artist and an actor and a sausage entrepreneur. Whoa. The three big things to be in life. You imagine that?

Man. All right. Anyway, get to the episode. He's breaking a horse. And I tell you what, Adam. I don't know. Do you believe in jinxes, doctor? Like we say the same thing at the same time, and then I say jinx, and then you can't speak until someone says your name. Like a man does a dangerous thing for a living. And then somebody says to him, man, I'm surprised you don't constantly break your legs doing this thing for a living, this crazy job you have.

And then in the next minute, he breaks his legs doing it. Yeah. And then he buys them a Coke. I think it was just classic foreshadowing as in a story. You really seem to think this is a fictional story, and I guess in some ways it is. Well, I'm sure this mirrors some men's experience from the, what year is this supposed to be set in? 1861. 1861. All 274 episodes were set in 1861?

On the same day. In one year. Oh, in. Well, what I do know is that the first episode, which aired in 1959, was set in 1859, and I believe they just, the years. changes. As the years change. Okay, as the seasons go. By the end, all of the brothers are 65.

The dad is 102. That ain't true. He's the prime of life throughout the whole thing. All right. He says, yeah, two things I can handle, horses and women. And then he breaks his legs, doesn't it? Yep, yeah. He can't walk.

What is the nature of his injury quite? Do they tell us? I wasn't entirely clear. I don't know if he broke his legs. No, he probably broke his back. Uh-huh. He can't feel his legs. Yeah.

Yeah. You think that's a back thing? Maybe his fingertips are numb. Uh-huh. If he can't feel his legs. Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. Maybe his legs are just fine.

He's just touching them with dead fingers. Oh, that's a good thing. Right. I don't think that's what it was, though, because he couldn't move his legs. But this is a good theory, but... Thank you. All right. Well, they bring him into Virginia City and they bring him to the doctor, and the doctor says,

he says, who knows? They ain't no way of knowing. The doctor's a little too jovial about the whole thing. He's kind of like, yeah, you might be paralyzed forever. I did not like that man. What do you mean? I didn't like him. I didn't like that actor either.

You know what I felt like? And it makes sense that his IMD pages very long. Yeah. Because he wasn't a very good actor. And I imagine you have him once on your show and then you're like never again. Yeah. Because he was so demanding and unpleasant to be around. maybe he had really bad breath.

Yes. And everyone was standing at a distance from him. Nobody wanted, nobody was happy when he came around. And also it was in a good doctor. I mean, I know that was scripted. But like, let's look at you and you just pull up the pant leg over a glass of wine. I know. I think that's not appropriate.

That's very unprofessional. He's like drunk on the job, I could tell. You think he was drunk? Yeah. That's a serious thing. Most of the time. And you're probably the only caregiver, right? Mm-hmm. In all of the land, people travel a very long way to be with you.

Yep, yep. And then he just sends his assistant, that young woman. He's like, go live with all these dudes at this house, like four hours away. That sounds like a good idea of me. And by the way, make them food and clean the house too. Well, yeah. So he's got this beautiful young assistant and he says, all right, here's the deal. Your legs need to be massaged.

And I don't want any man massaging another man's legs. So we're going to send a lady over to your house and she's going to live with it. Although it is okay for a grown man with a fucked up teeth to give you a hot bath. Yeah, that's really crazy. And stir the water right around in another region. Little whirlpool right over your... At some point in this episode, yeah, Haas gives Johnny a bath. I took a screen cap of that so that we could all make it your desktop.

He dunks his head in there. Good, good. Oh, they're all looking right down at it. They're looking to see if his legs will move. Oh, my God. It's out of control. Yeah. Will you send me that?

Because I'm going to put that up on the big screen. You bet you. You bet I will. I've got a few pictures for your screen. All right. So that's, but that comes later. Yeah, that's right.

And she says, I guess what's her life at this point? What's her status quo at the beginning of this episode? Because the doctor says, you're going to go to Ponderosa and live there for as long as it takes for this guy to walk again. She says, whatever you say is best. So, I guess, she's got nothing going on. She's a... She's giving up.

Yeah. She's giving up on life. She's angry. She's, yeah, because she's been tossed around like a sack of flour. Is that a spinster? Is that what that is? Is she a spinster? Oh, that sounds right.

Is she a marm? What is that? A school marm? A marm. She's just bad vibes. Is she an old... She's bad vibes. That's right.

Yeah, bad vibes. She's an old maid. That's what she is. Yeah, a biddy. Yeah, that is what she is. Well, she hasn't been engaged or consummated a relationship. So technically she isn't, but she does have bad vibes. And she does come off as a toxic person.

Yes. Right. Who's not dealing with the grief of her ex-lover. Right. I'm sure they weren't lovers. They probably just like slow grinded against a hay bale or something. But they, but she can't handle the fact. that he first of all said, I don't want you, and then robbed a bank to protect his family and was killed.

So there's a lot of grief there because it sounds like she did love him and she was willing to give up, you know, her life to be with him. But her father makes clear that his father, his father makes clear that his son owned her. He does say that. Like bought her. He says, you belong to my son, so you belong to me. Right. So anyway, in that sense, it was a beautiful relationship. So I don't know.

I'd say it's more than just grinding against the hay bag. That is a Lenny Kravitt song that you belong to me and I belong to you, right? So it's a two-way street. It's not just, it wasn't just that she belonged to him, but, right, it should be in a healthy relationship, you belong to each other. Right. Oh, Lenny Kravitz? Mm-hmm.

Okay. He's talking to Lisa Bonet in that song, you reckon? Maybe. Okay. I don't know that one. I'm too young. Oh, she said yet. You should go back because he still looks the same as he always did.

Yeah. So is Lisa Bonnet. Yeah. That's weird. Go look him up on Spotify or whatever you listen to. Okay. I believe she changed her name to Lilipoi. Look that up.

Who did? Lisa Bonnet? I believe that's great. Is that one name moniker or it's Lilipoy Bonet? Just Lilipoy. Because she's the only Lilipoy. You know what I mean? You never need to know her last name.

You know what I mean? All right. What have we got here? Now, okay, they're on their way. They're going to go up to the Ponderosa. But first they got to run into Nathan Clay and his boys. Nathan Clay, he says it. This is his version of reality.

He says, Ben Cartwright, you stole my land and murdered my son. Now, it comes out that he's put shading the truth a little bit there because what happened? He failed to improve upon his land. And so the government took it away from him. And then they put it up for auction and been bought it at auction. And they had so little money at that point that his son, Jody, went to rob a bank and got shot in the process of robbing the bank. I don't know if you can blame all that on Paul Cart, right? Can you?

All he did was buy a parcel of land at auction. Haven't they even living on the Ponderosa for like 100 million years? Like, when did this happen? What do you mean when did it happen? Was this a question since I haven't watched any of the other episodes. Is this a story we saw in a previous episode or is this all exposition introduced in the middle of an already very exposition? Just to be clear, just to be clear, coming on the show, you were supposed to watch every episode. Yeah, this is the 76 episode at a hundred, 431.

And I was supposed to watch all 431. That was the idea. My time is so valuable. Oh, really? Yeah. Well, you could do it. I watch while I do my two and a half hours of quick draws. You multitask.

Well, anyway, too late now. But no, those, these clay characters we've never seen before and we will never see them again. Is that right? Thank God. And same with Johnny. Same with Johnny like, oh, man, we love him. He's around. He's everywhere.

Yeah, they're like their neighbors at the end. Yeah. And he's like a son. And he's not. their problem. Never seen him. Well, he can walk fine. Yeah, he's just fine.

No reason. Johnny go lightly. What will he do, though? Will he get back on a horse? That's to be... Oh, good question. Now that he's broken that woman. That's a figure of speech.

Get back on that horse. Clearly that his dick still works. You think his dick still works? Yeah, now that his legs... Oh, okay. Interesting. I think it was swirled up in that whirlpool. Oh, yeah.

That was the real first moment of hope. I think so, too. Haas is a conch. or he's a bit of a fluffer. He is. Hoss brought his dick back and that brought the leg back. Yeah, yeah, that's what he did. I was just the tip of the iceberg.

Just the tip. Because for a while there looked like they might be a perfect couple where she's all frigid and he can't fuck. You know what I mean? Yeah. I thought they could make that work. Yeah. But whatever.

But oh, it gets worse because Johnny Lightley says, I was there when your son was shot at the bank and he was shot for being stupid. Why do you think he just mouthed off like that? Why do you think you do? What a good question. I think something about his legs being like not working and stuff made his mouth go. Yeah. Probably.

You think that was it? Yeah, he wanted to turn the focus off of him. Oh, I see. I see. I think it was a little bit rude in my opinion. And if you can't fight, you don't say fighting words is what I'd say to him. That's right. If I could advise him.

Have you ever been in a physical fight yourself? A physical fight? Yeah, sure. I mean, I strike first, you know, when my opponent doesn't even know what's going on yet. And do they know that you're angry with them before you strike? And do you strike the front of them and with what? I can't answer this. It's the back that don't know and it's a bullet.

Sometimes a silver bullet, but sometimes I'll get a man straightening a heart with a wooden steak. I'll do that from time to time. Not a man, but vampire. Only vampires. When I encounter a vampire, I'll stake them in the heart with a wooden steak. Did you see Nicholas Holt in the new vampire film? Oh, yes. No, Sforatu.

He was also in one with Nicholas Cage. Yes, about Rem. Van Helsing. Right, but the, no, but it was about the servant boy. He played the right. What's it called? Oh, well, Renfield. It's like Renfield.

Renfield, yeah. You're right. Nicholas Holt or Timothy Shalame, you can only have one. Timothy Shalema. Oh, it's always Shalemi for her. Why is that? What is the allure? Is it similar to Johnny?

He just will look like a boy forever? Yeah, he's a man boy vibes. Man boy. He's not a threat. He's just a little thing that you can crack. He's soft. He's gentle. Uh-huh.

You know that he's probably reading a book in French right now. No, you crack them open like one of those honey straws. Yeah, well, that's the thing also. I think I would absolutely Those are more difficult to get open than they should be. Which is my point's then. I think afterwards I would blow his mind. I think he would be like, wow.

Really? Yeah. Did you see that video clip of him speaking knowledgeably about sports? No. Well, that would ruin it right there. He knows a lot about sports. My Timothy Chalemay doesn't watch sports. Oh, this one does.

You're a lot of stuff. He's big into sports. I wonder what kind of men you've been around in your life that you want someone soft. Yeah, that's a really good question. Well, these days she's living with a real man. That's me. Who shoots men in the back when they're not looking

and they don't even know they're in a fight. What are you talking about? That's never happened. I've shot, I've shot werewolves and they know they're werewolves. Just existing in the forest. How am I being? This is not.

Yeah, let the werewolves be. You can't do that because what they want to do is spread their werewolfism. It's only one night a month. Yeah, let them be, exactly. Yeah, but that one night they come. How many werewolves? Not all werewolves. What?

If you're a werewolf, one night a month, how many people can you bite and turn into werewolves? Probably if you're really serious about the hundreds. Let them be. It's Edward Cullen and his family. Wait a minute. Twilight. They're vampires.

But not Hunger Games. They're vampires. No, see, I don't. I just thought I'd use an old reference for you guys. Yeah, that's Jacob. Jacob's family are the werewolves. Yeah, Jacob. The Inuits.

You guys, let Jacob be. These movies are garbage, them Twilight movies. Absolute garbage. Glorifying monsters. I don't like what's being said about me that I'll shoot a man in the back. I'll only shoot a werewolf in the back and sometimes a man. Have you ever killed? And sometimes a man.

You just said it. Only if I have to. In what way would you have to? Kill a man? Yes. Because, all right. Have you ever in your life killed a man? No, actually, I'm not sure I have.

I've killed Frankenstains and werewolves and mummies and vampires only. Those monsters are really. They were. No, I don't believe they were. They started his monsters. Huh? Yeah. Right? But really, we all have a monster inside of us, right?

Maybe he should kill that one. Not me, not me, Dalton, don't worry. No, no. I ain't got no monster in me. Hell no. Hell no. Okay. His eyes are all watery.

Shut up. We got now, we got, he's going to bunk downstairs as Johnny. And then there's cattle, all right, I got to skip some stuff, I guess, don't I? I should. I don't understand why. I guess you have to put him down. downstairs because he can't do stairs because he doesn't have legs that work,

but they just carried him around in a little swing, like, no problem. I know, what is hospital? That one man, that one, I mean, he's a tiny, tiny man. Yeah, he is. So every man has picked him up and surely Ann could even pick him up.

He could just up and down the stairs, no big deal, right? Yeah. I don't know. But he gets put down in a bed right by the desk, which has a loaded gun in the drawer. Yeah, that was a story point.

Oh, well, I guess. So I never see it coming. I thought. You know. He used a gun. He's sobbing. He said, it's a touching story. They did like, again, foreshadowing that gun came out as a paperweight at one point and then got put back in the Georgia's.

So we knew it was there. So that when he asked about it in the next scene, we had seen it established. 100%. Even though we'd never had to see other things established, we just talked about them. Oh, like what? there was another seat. Yeah, well, for instance, for instance, Nathan Clay came and threatened, right, Anne and Johnny. And then we should have seen immediately him go and tell the cartwrights about it, saying basically, I think he might be about to burn down your property, right?

The next scene was just them doing their books. Yeah, that's right. And then he said, have you thought any more about what I told you about? about clay. Oh, yeah, right. Right? Uh-huh, uh-huh. You didn't like that?

No, I... Well, that would have been a much more interesting scene to see that. But also, they should have said it to them instead of telling this... I have a lot of notes on the episode as well. It's too late, man. It's 63 years ago, for Christ's sakes. Well, you want our opinions, I suppose. That's why we're here, right?

I guess so. Don't want platitudes or praises if you don't believe. It's all we want is your opinions that we agree with. That's all we want. All right, look. That sounds like a mother. You're going to have to recap that. Mother coming in hard there.

Point five speed. Okay, I'm going to do it. All right. We got now, Johnny, his, Anne is there to massage his legs. And he starts putting the moves on her. Of course he does. And she's all frigid and doesn't want anything to do it. He smushes his face against hers at one point.

Beautifully. She does not want it. That is not consent. We should say that. She says, I don't want this. Well, he noticed. He does it anyway. He noticed and he says true.

Her eyes were big plates. I know. And he, well, she said, you don't have any feeling your legs. And he goes, do you have any feeling, Ms. Davis? Maybe you just don't like men, huh? Yeah. He accused your lesbianism. And then she calls him shiftless and no good.

and you like to break your women the way you break your horses, and I can't find it in my heart to feel sorry for you because the deal is that she wasn't romantically attached to Jody Clay who'd robbed that bank and got shot for being stupid. And she blames him. You say that he rejected her before he went and shot up the bank? Yes, because he died at the bank. So it would have had to be beforehand.

And who knows, maybe what she doesn't know is he rejected her because he knew he was going to be an outlaw and he didn't want her to have to be chosen to marry, be married in love with an outlaw. My theory is she was a friggy bitch the whole time and he was like, this is bad vibes. I'm not going to marry you. Yeah, I'm not ready for that. No. Why?

Illegal. All right. Now, what happens? Well, let's just get to the big, big excitement in the end. I reckon we're okay. Finally, Clay is going to do something about it. Yes, finally we're talking about the woman and you change the subject. Oh, what else is there to say about the woman?

That's just interesting, I find. Yeah, okay, good. I'm glad you're interesting. She calls him a quitter. Oh, yeah, she has that moment. Okay, here's what's going to do it fast. It's nighttime. And Johnny has had enough.

He's going to kill himself. He goes to get the gun. Why does he go to kill him? Why is we, are we here? What happened previously? He's lost hope. angry. Why was he angry? Because his legs don't work. No, he wasn't right right before this. They were on the street. They went into town to get a breath of fresh air and those guys challenged him and he realized he can't stand up for himself anymore. That's true too. Yes. Haas had to defend him. That's right. He couldn't stand up for himself. He's weak. And plus now, the way that men get thrown around in this film and this is really like they have no bones in their body. They're just like a real. real wiggly worm getting

like Timothy Shalame vibes. Yeah, they just get thrown tossed like a gummy worm, hit ricochet off the wall. Were those actors doing their own stunts? Probably. Sometimes, yeah. It was definitely a stuntman on the horse in the first scene, but I think the actors was tossed around.

Yeah, you're right. But okay, he's so, yeah, he's given up. Plus the doctor too has said there's been a little improvement, but who knows you could be like this forever. Yeah. He's going to damn kill himself. Oh, Ben gives him a pep talk, though. Yeah, and then he decides to kill himself. That's right.

I'd kill myself too if I was on the Ponderosa. Oh, my God, no, you wouldn't. That's beautiful. That's where you go after you kill yourself. Yeah. But Ben gives him a fantastic pep talking. I thought it was a pretty good talk. It was, right?

Yeah, you got to get back up on the horse. Yeah, that's right. Don't give up. Yeah. But his next move is to go get that gun and shoot himself. But meanwhile, old Ann is watching, creeping in the corn. or watching all this play out. She listened to the PIP Talk, too, didn't she?

Was that horse blanket always there? Is it, was it placed by the Prop Master? I think it's always. Or the set decorator? Yeah, because was it in previous episodes? Was there a horse blanket on the railing right there? Do you keep a running tab of horse blankets on the show? Check the spreadsheets?

I can't access the spreadsheet, right? Man, that's too bad. But I don't know. We have it. I think it's a hard copy. Maybe just check the next episode. Look for the horse blanket. I'll look for the horse blanket.

And so now she comes in, she tough loves them. She's like, you're a quitter. You're going to go quit and kill yourself. She said, fine. Yeah, she said, you go ahead, do it. You fucking idiot. And then she says, because that's going to hurt the cart rights. They've been so nice to you.

And if you kill yourself, all it's going to do is make them feel terrible. That's an interesting point. She gilts them into living. And then what happens then? Oh, damn. And then they get ambushed. Yeah, they get ambushed. The clays come in.

They got some coal oil. They're going to burn down the Ponderosa. They don't captured Ben. They've subdued Ben. And then Johnny gets his gun out of the drawer this time to shoot bad guys. And the shooting happens. And Clay gets shot in the leg and old Ben get shot in the arm. You're burying the lead.

They poured that coal oil all over that fine. I know. It's not going to be easy to get that out. I mean, and shine it up. He only poured it in one area. So stupid. You got to put it all over. But before, I guess,

before that all that happened Johnny and Anne had a kind of coming together. Yes. He says, kneel down before me. That was weird. It was beautiful. And he's like on your knees, bitch. Yeah. And then. Frididjid.

He said, come here. Yeah. Which, you know, can feel good, feel good. And she said no. But then she didn't say anything. Okay. All right. And then she slowly walked to him and then he said, kneel down. Yeah.

And I was like, this is 1959. They're certainly not going to, she's not going to be giving him fallacio, right? Yeah, well, that's in the blooper reel. He already got Felicio in the back then. But, and so that's it. She's like, he says, I'm, no, you're not going to get hurt again like that happened with Jody. I'll never let anybody hurt you. I'm a strong man.

I know I can't walk yet, but I'm strong man protect you. And that's all she needed to hear. And then she crumbles just like a little, little girl. She'll happy to have them. But then there comes in the thing and the shooting fire happens to happen to shoot gunfire. And Ben says, you idiot, just like you said before, you feel bad. You're made of me, but you be made of you. You hate yourself for all the bad things that happen.

And it's just like a light bulb. Clay goes, okay, I'm sorry. I'll see if I can mind my leg, bag. And in that same moment, oh, Johnny can walk. Oh, my sudden, Johnny can walk. Johnny can walk. Was it the kiss that did it? He got thrown to the floor.

He slowly made his way up to the desk. Yes. And he went around to get the gun that he was going to use to kill himself to protect the people that he loved. Yes. And that gave him the power of his legs back. Wow. Plus a kiss now. Before that, there was a kiss.

Again, I think it was the dick. I think his dick moved and then his legs came after. A little kickstand that propped him up. Yes. Is that then a viable therapy to have someone who's luck paralyzed from the way down and then you just threaten their family with a gun. I'm not a doctor. Oh, you're not that kind.

You're not a medical doctor. Right. Yeah, you don't know about them legs. Could it have been a psychosomatic old leg to hit you at the whole time? I think there was an actual injury. He was thrown from a horse. And he had a spine injury. There was probably a lot of inflammation in his back, which prevented his,

him from having the nerve, you know, the nerve reaction that you would need to be able to move your legs. Oh. I'm guessing. Okay. Yeah. Well, right. But I suppose you could say, you know, if you feel like you have a purpose to live now again, that would help your mind connect to the physicality of your body.

And so that block is removed now and we can access, right? And we can move again. We can move forward in our life. And we can also move forward with our body. Easily in the next seed walking normally. without any struggle. Yes, with no struggle whatsoever. Now that he's engaged, three weeks have passed.

Three weeks of past, is that right? And they're engaged. And yeah, that's right. The cartwright boys come back and they see that they're together. He said, we'll be back in about three weeks. Okay, right. They say, looks like the cure worked both ways, right? Meaning that she's no longer a bitch.

She's no longer a bitch. And then Haas says, got to hand it to him. Yeah. He took the frost off that little girl. She's deplowered her. I guess that's what he said. Oh, is that right? Yeah.

Wow. She got laid. That's sexy. Is that what he said? I couldn't understand most of what he said. I think that's what he said. Okay. Just because of the teeth, there was a lot of, a lot of problems with his teeth.

Well, his upper teeth had not come fully down. I thought for a little while he was missing his forefront teeth. Oh, hoarse. And then once we got into close-ups, I saw actually he just had pronounced canines similar to a vampire. Yeah, and Adam has tiny little baby teeth. So I think there is a strange tooth thing going on, which they all have different mothers, so it must be

on Ben Carr-Ride. Do they really have different mothers? Yeah, they're all dead. Clearly. Yeah. They're like the three little bears, all different shapes and size. What do you mean? That was explored in a previous episode? Yeah, it's well-known. A couple episodes, yeah. What do you mean it's well-known? By who? You? Yeah, by that. No one else.

Literally no one else. So he, what happened to, tell me, do we have to end this? I want to No. All right. Yeah, we're going to wrap up soon. But Ben Cartwright was married

to three different women. Why? Because they kept dying. Because he's a slut. He loves his first wife. She died. And that was the guy that was all in black. That's the old one that is going to leave us in.

He seems like trouble. He's tough. There's also some theories that he's killed these wives, Ben Carrwright. Ben Carwright. Maybe he died. Real quick. Mysteriously.

Or not in childbirth or what? Nope. He's buried three different. different wives, each of whom gave him a son. And now he's stuck raising these three very different children from three very different wives. That's the premise of the show. And is that established in the pilot? Yes, it is.

Wow. And then there is, I believe, an episode where you kind of get each of their stories, because we've had the host one, right? Each wife, we see the story of how they came together. We've seen Adams so far. Adams. Okay. And it's a great premise.

It's a beautiful premise. Yes, wonderful. And then how does she die? Who, which one? From boredom. What? From watching Vananza. I guess we should stop there.

I could do research on my own. That's fine. I forget how Adam's mother died already. Didn't she died on like the trail? She did? She died in Boston before he left. Well, which one came on the boat and died on the trail? House of Mom.

House of Mom. Yeah. All right, folks. Wait, where did... Yeah, go ahead. Where did Clay get shot? Because there was no blood. Oh, they're not blood when you get shot.

When you get shot. Never in this show. It looked brown. Got shot in the arm, right? Yeah, that's right. Oh, yeah. What happened to your arm? Yeah.

It was wet. Okay. He got shot in the leg, didn't he? He did. He got shot in the leg, I thought. But there was not a hole in his pants when he got up or blood. Right. So was it a rubber bullet?

It just ricocheted off? It's a 22 caliber bullet. It's all. It's just, they call it a bug back. That's just a bug back. You know, people get shot all the time and the shoulders. Oh, right, right. And you get better by the end of the end of that.

Have you ever been shot? Sure, I've been shot many times. He shot himself a bunch of cats. Yeah. Yeah, just bugbacks. You know, it's fine. Sometimes you've got to go see the doctor. Wow.

Well, all right, folks. Sadly, there's only 355 episodes. left of this show to talk about. Oh my God. Well, folks, that's going to wrap it up for us. Thank you so much to Dr. Lauren Carter for being here. I'm so happy that I could be here. It was so nice to have another woman here. Yeah. Really put them in their place. You're going to go places. Thank you. Where are you going? Turkey. With all the guys.

Yeah, I knew it. Yeah, it was nice to hear a wrong perspective. It was nice. You mean to say a woman? perspective. What, huh? A woman's perspective. That's not what I said. I don't think. I just said a wrong perspective on stuff.

It's interesting. Well, folks, thank you so much for being here. This is Bananas for Bananas. We'll see you next time. Now get it. By now. Bananas for Bananas is brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gordon, with the journey.

Which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchie Cuff, and Wade. Bananas for Bananasas mixed and edited by Mark McComb. Executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Gourne. We'll see you around.