Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #79: “The Tin Badge”

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Another classmate of Markie's, Aidan, joins the show to help break down season 3, episode 13, "The Tin Badge", in which Little Joe gets his ass kicked in a stable and finally earns the respect of his big brothers.  Featuring E.R. Fightmaster, Lily Sullivan & Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Andy Daley, inviting you to subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daly, where each month we release a brand new bananas for bananas for Bonanza episode, and two episodes of the comedy grab bag podcast, bonus nanza extravaganza. Plus, you get access to our Discord and other goodies. So do check it out at patreon.com slash Andy Daly. Thank you. So consult your TV guide Get your great outdoors inside Take some Ponderosa pride And forever made it

Alright All right folks Get started with it Yeah It's bananas for bananas For bananas episode God damn 79 We've done 79 of these motherfuckers

Hot shit Season 3 episode 13 Today the 10 badge I am Dalton Wilcox I'm Matt Taylor And I'm joined and as so often, perhaps too often I am, by my niece, Marky.

Hello, Marky. Hi. How are you? Fine. You've returned to school, haven't you? Yeah. How's it going so far? Fine.

Well, I'm only getting one syllable. Would you like to expand upon that, please? You're on a podcast. Talking's done here. Yeah, that's right. School was, okay. Do you know how FX's slogan is characters welcome? This podcast is talking welcome.

Yeah. Yeah, the audience can't see your, uh, Your expressions of disdain. Can't even appreciate that. Can they see this? Can they see this? What? Oh my goodness.

I think they could hear that. That was a classic teenage eye roll. You actually rolled your eyes to the point where I saw your forehead bulge as if they had gone up into your ocular cavities. That's just because I had Botox recently. Do you know what that is? They put a poison in your face to make it stop moving. A good poison. You have to start early with skincare.

You have to start at age, at this point, age six. six, five, you should be maintaining your skin from age five on. She's crazy. She's crazy. What kind of skincare routine do you guys have? Let me quick. I ask you a question. What if the grid goes down and let's say the Soviets invade or something like that and it's

a real red dawn situation? You can't get your Botox. Are you going to Dorian Gray and just immediately turn to dust if you've started at six and then at 18 say you lose all that? Well, if ideally given the skincare routine I've had since I was six, I think I'd be in the clear. You guys are Gautners. You guys are dead. Dead is do agree with you there. You guys are leathery. I took a look at my saddlebags the other day. Yeah. And I actually wasn't. I was looking in a mirror. Oh yeah. That'll happen. That'll happen. Yeah. Well, I had my skincare routine.

You know, I take a bath in a big bucket. A horse bath. That's what you call it. Which is offensive. It's a sex worker bath. I thought he said horse bath. I thought you did too. Hors. Hors bath. Now, I've heard of a whores breakfast, which is, I believe, just a Diet Coke. Have you heard of that?

No, that's a, that's a Barisilton breakfast. Hey, we got a guest. We got to introduce our guest, man. Mark, you do the intro. This is somebody, once again, this is a second time in a row. You brought a guest along. Yeah, well, I don't want to be here alone. I don't feel safe.

You're supposed to let us know, though. It's polite to say I'm bringing a guest. I said, is anyone going to be there today? And you guys said, just us too. And I said, good. Oh. That meant I'm bringing someone. I didn't understand that language.

I didn't quite get the devil. Your team lingo didn't permeate this. Yeah. I said, BRV T T, T, I L, KWX. What? The hell's going on. Anyway, I brought my friend Aiden. Aiden, hello, Aiden.

Hey. Hi, Aiden. Hey. How are you? I'm good. I'm good. I'm excited to be here. You go to school with Markey?

I do, yeah. Yeah. We are being educated together. Yeah, we're a part of a lot of clubs on campus, as I call it. Are you like Markey kind of like you don't like us? I am holding. I'm just going to make a prediction. I've got a good feeling.

Aiden is on our side. I think so, too. All right. Go ahead. I'm holding space to enjoy you. What does that mean? Yeah, we're both holding. building space to enjoy you today.

Okay. Your team lingo has turned into like office speak. I don't understand which is... I'm going to piggyback on that and go ahead and say we are going to really put you guys on blast. I swear to God, if at any time you ping me, I will finish you. Okay. Yeah. You need to get your Slack account fixed.

We cannot have any circling back today. No, we can't circle back to that. No, because I am O-O-T. Yeah. You're on overtime? On testosterone? Yes. What I did is I found a way to put my testosterone treatments on testosterone.

Yeah. But what's weird is it's canceling it out. And I've since become a lot more in touch with my feminine side. I mean, Aidan can speak to that. They know way more about that stuff than me. Yeah, I'm on kind of a mix of hormones. I take a different thing every day to just kind of see like, who would I be? Yeah.

A different thing every day. Yeah. So like today, what kind of hormone are you? Well, you know, there's different types of hormones, right? So there's testosterone and estrogen and progesterone and all these things. And so today I'm on a mix of all three. Really? Yeah. That's why they're so blest out.

Yeah, I'm really, I actually feel very calm and founded. But at any point in time, I might get you. Oh, well. Now, but if you take the same amount of testitone and esterune, wouldn't it cancel the chudder out, you'd just be taking nothing? The asteroon and the testerone, when you put them, when you mix them together, it does create a kind of opium. Yeah. Oh, really?

I'd like to try that. Good Lord. Yeah, we've been getting high. You're doing it too. Yeah. What do you mean you're getting high? That's one thing you're not supposed to do. I put down a few rules.

One of them was no getting high on drugs. It's not drugs. It's different types of caffeinated beverages. We're doing caffeine. We're doing obviously hormones. Macha. Macha. You try that.

new Celsius energy drink for like professionals or something we actually lost a couple kids at school on Celsius we did we tried the Panera lemonade we lost it we lost a couple kids to that someone died of Panera lemonade yeah that's the new four loco too much yeah caffeine and sugar well that'd be a terrible way to go no but I did bring Aiden here for a reason you guys um they get what I'm going through I showed them the bonanza oh good oh fantastic and we were both tortured together and we've come to speak out. Yeah. What are you talking about? You agree with her on this? Well, you know, there are parts of the show I obviously found enjoyable, like the color grade of the film. And then there were things that I found disturbing, like the narrative and the

propaganda and the acting and the script and the setting and the energy. Those are the things you liked? Those are the things I didn't like. I did like the color grade of the film. Okay, but at least they like one thing. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. I like. like the color too. We agree on that. Should we not talk about any of the other things? We also like, of course, the amount of bronzer that gets used, which we brought up before. And I like seeing a lot of men in eyeliner. But other than that, ridiculous. There is no goddamn bronzer. These men are not putting on makeup. Goddam. God damn it to get out in the sun. They are covered in makeup. And I did like, it took me about 30 minutes to understand that this was not the case. But I did like that, you know, Sheriff Joe was played by a butch lesbian. I'm so glad you said that finally finally

A butch lesbian I don't believe that's the case That's a woman I did I did find out afterwards that that is not What was the intention but I do like that it was kind of a wink in a nod obviously from production You know this cop is butch You know I might have to agree with you there because as Magalanda's career progresses Into Little House on the Prairie and then especially highwayed

heaven. You're really starting to see that come to fruition, I think. Yeah. He's a beautiful, very pretty man is what it is. I'm just saying. They can make a point about the color grading. I can make a point about butch lesbian. Yeah.

It's true. Yeah. I'm so, all right. I'm disappointed. I thought we was going to have somebody to school you, Marky, on the wonders of this show. No. I'm going to team up on market, but it's gone to otherwise. In bags where we, I want, I brought it in here just so you guys can understand why this podcast

needs to be canceled. What? But also we want to create dialogue. You know what I mean? So there's no reason to be defensive that we, we are reporting this to the FCC. And this is probably your last episode. Excuse me. You're reporting this to the FCC of the current administration.

Yeah. Okay. You go right out of here. Which, by the way, you guys know that Donald Trump is dead. I heard that. He died. He did die? Yeah.

I get all my news from TikTok. and apparently he's absolutely dead. I heard that just last night that he had died. Well, but he's still out there doing stuff. Of course. Yeah, for sure. They have a body level. He's been dead for a couple years.

Oh, did they make like a men in black kind of alien suit out of him or something? Oh, that guy that's spelled with roaches? Yeah, I was going to say. Yeah. Yeah, it's like I kind of works. That kind of fits. Yeah, I wouldn't mind a pile of roaches for president in the United States. Well, you got one.

Okay. Because the roach is a tenacious creature. You know what I mean? I mean, one of the animals that can survive a nuclear holocaust. That's right. Don't you want your president to survive a nuclear holocausts? Well, we're going to hope. Yeah, it's just a bunch of cockroaches and Twinkies.

That's it. That's what our lives will be. Oh, you're singing my song. Yeah, cockroaches and Twinkies. Cockroots, get by my guitar. Hell, I get you your guitar. This is how it happens. Inspiration strikes old mutteller.

You never know what's going to happen. Arroaches and twinkies Box cars and slinkies I'll love you Jessica Beautiful Thank you Oh Jessica would be happy to hear that I don't know that was good

It was good right What did you say? It was fine It was good It was good It's another one in goddamn eye rolls Thank you Did you see that eye roll

No but I heard it I was good I heard your pupil scraping your eyebrows I thought it was really brave. Thank you, Eden. Yeah. To pick up a guitar and not know how to play it.

Oh, my God. Yeah, it's awesome. You know who I am? I'm a Tailing-Otlocked firebrand country musician from the whole 70s. Oh, okay. The entire 70s. Like the 1970s? That's true.

What? Well, now I know that. Okay. The 1970s or the 1870s. Okay. Now allow me to roll my eyes. Oh, they just high-fived one another. Did you see that?

You can't co-opt our generation's salute. You cannot do that. What? The high five is ours. Yeah, that's ours. Well, I thought you meant a different kind of salute. Oh, here. Good.

Yeah, you make your own. There you go. That's very unwieldy. Good luck doing that on a roller coaster. They're bumping foots with one another for the listener. All right. Now, I can't. I think you're going to have a very hard time convincing us if there's any flaws in the story of this episode.

Yeah. The writing, as you say, what else? The propaganda. I can't wait to hear your argument because this episode has everything. It's got a woman. It has a stable fight. Classic stable fight. And it's got a villain with an almost comprehensible plan.

So close. So close to making perfect sense. All right. December 17, 1961 is when this episode aired. All right. Just a few things about that. That's a newer, how old are you 100? Oh.

All right. one's 100. No one's ever been living to 100. Yeah, right. Except Methuselah from the Bible, I think. And 61? I was 82. There you go.

Don't be so rude next time. Thank you. Well, this is the, on the country music charts, walk on by is in its eighth of 19 weeks at number one. So we're stuck with that song for a while. Please, Mr. Postman by the Barvellance is the number one song. Did you know? Okay.

please Mr. Postman is a song about a girl hoping that the mailman will bring her a letter from her boyfriend Can you sing it? Hey now wait a man of Mr. Postman You know that. I think I heard that over a TikTok video Yeah About 30 seconds of it

Oh yeah maybe you did And they were trying to raise money for the mail service Yeah they were like don't want the post office close It was like shut up bitch You want the post office to close? I like private companies I'm having trouble following your You say privatize the post office

Yeah that's all that I vote for that Unbelievable I don't know I go for anything I know I can't vote yet But if I could vote I would vote for whatever Call her Daddy votes for Oh yeah

Alex whatever her name is Ross Cooper I think it's just Daddy right Yeah Her name is Daddy That's what you're supposed to call her I guess Yeah It's in the title

I guess that's right I'm trying to get her to watched Kevin Cozner movie The Postman so she understands the post office. You made me watch the last of the Mohicans or whatever. Yeah, I did. I will find you no matter what it was. Such a racist movie. Something real quickly about the Postman?

Yeah. Now, to be real about my age, I was born in 1973. Okay. So the Postman takes place in the future. Oh. Then at the end of the movie after the Postman's dead and gone, there's a commemorative statue of him says he was born in 1973. So prior to the point where in the movie, the film, the

future time took place. I was just thinking, for all I know, I could be the postman. And then we got to the year where the movie took place and I had not yet become the postman. So then it was very sad. Sorry, I fell asleep. Why? Why? You got a sleeping sickness? No, I'm sorry. Because I can tell that story again. It'll help keep you awake. Yeah, yeah. It's a good story. Listen, he was trying to tell us about the way that he accesses his identity. So we do have to hold space for a story. like that. Okay.

Could you call me the the would be postman? I would like that. The would be postman. Okay. All right. So you identify as a postman. So we'll call you the WP.

Yeah. WP. WP. Yeah, that sounds good. Hold space for having. WAP. Yeah, I'm the WAP.

Yeah. That's right. All right. Yeah. All right. And I'll tell you what about me is the postman, the WAP. I like to swim in rivers and get really wet. Uh-huh.

Okay. We all have that in common. Yeah. Okay. Why are they half having that? See, we're fine in common. There's something going on here. The Marvellites put out a sequel song called the Twisting Postman.

Whoa. About a girl who sees a twisting postman with a letter that her mother says must be for her. But the song ends before she receives the letter. I wonder if it was supposed to be like part two of like a ten part series of songs. You know what I mean? Twisted Postman? Twisting. He's twisting down the avenue.

So this is a song. Oh, he's a dancing postman. That's right. Yeah. You see that. This is why we need to privatize. Why? He shouldn't be dancing on the job.

He needs to be working. I can't get a grip on you guys. I know. These JNZers, they're all over the map. Yeah, it's an interesting generation because we have, we are so progressive that we've come back around to alter conservatism. Exactly. You went through the Pac-Man. Yeah.

Yeah. To the other side. I'm such a feminist that I want to be a trad wife. Does that make sense? Ironically. Yeah. Oh, ironically. But you want to have the right to say you can be a trad wife.

Absolutely. Yeah. Oh, okay. I like that trad wife thing. That's really, that works great. Yeah. I mean, not the way you like it. You're not allowed to like it.

You guys can't like it. You can be as ironic. No, no. You're not getting it. I'm taking an ironic trad wife. No, not you, because you want it to be real. Of course. doing it ironically and you don't get that.

Oh, I'm being an ironic trad hubby. Yeah, that's right. Ew, I'm not married to you. Yet. See? This is why we need to get them fancy. I'm just kidding. Not marry my niece.

I have too many wives already. But did you tell me once you had a crush on the bass player of Banana Ramba? My crush is a rotating crush between the three women of Banana Ramah. All right. So currently I'm on the lead singer. Well, the bass player was born on December 17, 1961. Oh, my God. Wow.

All right. Everybody, moment of silence. Oh, oh, how long? That's good enough. No. Oh. And they sang on their, I believe, second sophomore album after their big hit. Robert De Niro's waiting, talking Italian.

Talking Italian. Thank you. I found that difficult. That was beautiful. Thank you. Sorry, I fell asleep. Oh, what? It wasn't a lullaby.

That was designed to get you down the dance floor. Twisted. This episode features a guest performance by Vic Morrow. Now a moment of us. A real moment of silence. You guys know about Vic Morrow? I looked it up. You did.

Is he the blonde? Yeah, yeah. He's a big. He's Brock. Yeah, A.B. Brock. He got killed by a helicopter. He was killed by a helicopter. The Twilight Sun.

That's correct. He was in the movie. You know Jennifer Jason Lee is his daughter. That's right. And she says, I don't talk about my father publicly because there are a lot of people that really love him.

I don't want to disabuse them of their admiration. That ain't a nice thing to say. They're estranged throughout his own. That's how I talk about you guys. That somehow made a man getting killed by a helicopter darker. Somehow it did. Yeah.

Yeah. The fellow flying the helicopter was named Dorsey Wingo. Well, why would you get in a helicopter with a person named Dorsey Wingo? He wasn't in a helicopter. That's the name of a dog. Or at least an airplane pilot with wing in the title. Dorsey Wingo. Dorsey's nice and genderless, honestly.

Come here, Dorsey, Wingo. Come here. I didn't look up to whether it was a dog or not. I mean, it supposed it could have been. I don't think it was a dog because they had a license to fly a helicopter. I know that. I think that there's probably a world in which dogs are allowed and encouraged to have licenses to fly helicopters. I would get in a helicopter flown by a dog.

You would too. I would get in an airplane flown by a dog. A hundred percent. Is this another one of those things where it's so fucking crazy that you guys will just do it because you've gone so far to the extreme? Yeah. Our beliefs kind of, they kind of like ping pong back and forth while we're having them.

Yeah. That's what Gen Z's all about, huh? Yeah. Fluid convictions. Is that what it is? Conviction fluidity. Yeah. You probably got convicted for fluids.

You're not just whistling Dixon. Which instance do you want to hear about? The one in the hotel that closed it up. You got multiple fluid convictions on your record? Oh, my God. And varying levels of viscosity, opacity. I even got a plasma connection. He was on room raiders, and then they had him arrested.

On what? Ring Raiders. Room Raiders. What's a room writer now? It's a really ancient show. It's from like 2005. I had to look it up. Yeah.

We had to look it up. We were watching it on YouTube and it was basically black and white. Oh my God. But it was when MTV would, they'd hosted that show where people would like go into your room. They'd rate it, if you will. Yeah, like if I was going to go.

That's called revenge sleep. That's not okay to say. Let's do our generation's salute. You cannot say revenge sleep on this podcast. If you're falling asleep that quickly, I'm worried for your health. Honestly, you're basically Donald Trump. Like, you're dead.

full of cockroaches. Don't make me fluidate. Sick. Sylvie in this episode was played by Karen Steele, who had a surfing injury as a child and almost lost her left leg, but they rebuilt it with wires and scrap metal. Oh. That's how they used to do it back then.

That's how they used to do it. And Sylvie's the one that plays the sex worker. No, Sylvie's the one. Yeah, she's the woman. She's a saloon gal. She's a whore, though. No, she's a saloon. Yeah, absolutely. It's a horror. There are multiple times in the episode where she says that he shouldn't be with a woman like her and then looks down.

Excuse me, we can't say prostitute, but we can say ho- Don't say prostitute. Oh, my God. I'm confused. This is 18-05. I said horror ironically. Couldn't you hear it? No, because you don't make any expressions. Hoar was empowering. Hoare is empowering. Yes. I identified. When I took a horse bath, you yelled at me for that. You can't say whore. You can't say the stuff because when you guys say it, it's like real, but when we say it's fake. Can you say, S-L-U-T? Certainly.

Oh, no. Oh, they can't spell. We found their weakness. Certainly we can. Oh, my. We can. We can say a suit. These kids are I-N-S-A-N-E.

I think you're R-I-G-H-T. We do not drive Nissan. I would never get caught. I can't drive. I don't have an ID. Oh, my God. You don't carry any identification. No, we don't, this generation actually does not get

licenses. Wait, you guys are so into identity, but you don't have an ID? I can't wrap my head or I'm not going to have the entirety of my spiritual experience be trapped inside a little white card. It's mandated by the state. I agree with. Hand me my guitar. Oh, no. I don't know. All right. I won't hand you your guitar. All right. What else can I tell you? Hey, man, the mayor, he's a bumptious silly old fella in this episode, a drunk, but in real life, he was from Wisconsin, but he enlisted in the French Army in World War I because he couldn't wait for the United States to get in the war. I do think that's probably the hottest thing I've ever heard.

Right? That's the last thing I expected you to say. Really? Yeah. I mean, I agree. That's hot as hell. That's like all those like the people that were like fuck the United States for not helping Ukraine. And so they just like flew to Ukraine.

And like they all did die right away, but it was cool what they did. It's cool. It's cool. Like an ironic way like to go. Like I would go to war. Yeah. He's like. You look like he would go to war.

I would go to war. What war would you go to war? What war would you go to? I don't know. Send me wherever. Ukraine. I'll go now. Really? Okay. Go. I think it might build character. It might build some character for you to be in a war. Would you go to military school? No, I would just go like...

You would have been really good in Vietnam, like when they had to put like tiny people down in the tunnels. Okay. Now you're talking about this is my generation here. So just tread lightly. I just think you would have been great at it. I mean, I didn't fight in Nam, but I went there on vacation in the early 90s. Okay. I understand. I was in Nome. You can get good French food in Vietnam, can't you?

Would you have like a bombing or something? Yeah, I did have a balmy. Some, like, uh, like, uh, koi kun roll. Um, num Nung. What? What? The hell are you talking about? They have McDonald's there.

I ate fine. Yeah. Fah. Fah, bo. What? Faga. We call that colonizing by diet. Are you colonizing by diet?

Do you think you're spelling something? Conjee. I think she's trying to spell something. I'm not surprised that she can't spell. I know. We're insane? What? Farthest thing from it.

Eden. Unbelievable. Robert Fortier, who played the bad guy named Higler. Yeah, I had to look that up. Higler. Yeah, interesting choice. Yeah. I did.

I had to go back on here. Did they really name him Hitler? No, they didn't. Did they intend to? Maybe. This guy was the town drunk in both McCabe and Mrs. Miller and Popeye. And that fortifies Pat and Oswald's theory that McCabe and Mrs. Miller and Popeye are the same movie. Well, they're directed by the same guy.

Yeah. He says they're the same movie. Is Popeye about how the chicken place started? Okay. It's not about how the chicken place started. The beloved children's. It's that expose about how the chicken place started. Yeah.

No, this was before people were making movies about how restaurants and Blackberry phones got made and sneakers and all that shit. Like the Pop-Tart movie? Yeah. Like a Pop-Tart movie. God damn. Why make a movie about how the Pop-Tart got made? Unless you can get Jerry Seinfeld to do it and do it well, which boy, man, what a masterpiece.

That was. This was before people were making movies like that. Yeah. God damn it. This was back when, uh, what were we talking about? Popeye. You make a movie based on a comic strip. Now, that's a movie. Do you know that whole Popeye Village, Sweet Haven, still there in Malta, and you can just go visit it as a tourist attraction? Don't fall asleep. Don't you fall asleep. You can see her eyes closing. Stay awake. God damn it.

In that moment, I felt very like English second language. Yeah, I felt like we were speaking to each other through our head. Oh, 100%. And I was going, I think I'm going to die. And you were like, I've already passed away. He passed. No one has ever died of mut-talking. It never had. If anything, I've saved lives. Yeah. I've brought people back from the brink.

Robert Fortier, who played Higler, also got married on the day that J.F.K. was assassinated. There's got to be a... Oops. That is suspicious. I was just single. Why have that strong of an alibi? I agree.

I agree. I agree. Bullshit. Was anyone at his wedding? Well, I don't know that. The mob. They eloped, I bet. And the CIA.

Yeah, okay, are there any photos of the wedding? Not that I could find. It's a Zeprooter film of it. Zeprooter was there making a film. Yes, he was hired as a wedding. But I will say I do want to get married on 9-11. Oh, you do? Hard for people to forget that date.

Yeah, never forget my wedding. Oh, my God. Well, I'm glad to hear she's talking about getting married. That smacks me because I did happen to get married on the original 9-11. No. Yeah, 2000. Oh, okay, one year before. No, what happened that?

Oh, Lord Almighty. I don't know. It's all those liquid convictions, mutt. Make you forget. Fluid conviction. Oh, yeah, you're right. Mr. Jennings, I don't even know who that was in the episode. He was played by Stephen Chase.

I'll just tell you some of his movies. Important business. The skipper surprised his wife. No room for the groom. And stop, you're killing me. No room for the groom. Is that like a cuck film? That's a porn.

I don't know what it is. I think Skipper surprises his wife is in that same. So these are all filthy films, huh? Maybe. What was the business one? Important business. There you go. Oh, definitely.

That's a good name for a movie, right? What was the last one? Good name for a porn. Stop, you're killing me. Okay, so these are definitely all porn. Yeah. You think that would be a porn movie? That's a snuff film.

Oh, Lord. Yeah. That's disgusting. And who was he playing? I think he was one of the undertakers in this episode. I've seen three of those films. They were underutilized. in my opinion.

Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. The Undertakers, I think, just had so much charisma my eyes were drawn to them. And yet, no lines,

you know, not a ton of... They didn't do enough. They should have done more. Someone should have done, like, a dance routine. Someone should have done... Not enough singing. Some product placement.

Like, keep me interesting. You want to see some product placement in that episode of B'Anza? I would have loved for one of the undertakers to be holding a Coke. Yeah. Talk about Pop-Tarts. Do a pop-tart monologue.

Oh, my God. Keep me engaged. Unbelievable. I don't know what to say. All right. We're going to go through this episode now. I'm dying to hear anything that happens in this episode that you can find fault with because I try, you know, I can be very objectionable about these episodes. I have come to it with an objective, objective mind.

And I am very honest if it does something in the air doesn't work. But I could not find one flaw in this episode. All right. No. It starts, we don't know where. We've got to wait two more scenes to find out where we are when this episode starts. Okay. That's mysterious.

We think we might be in Virginia City. Turns out we later find out we're in the town of Rubicon. It looks exactly like Virginia City. Everything about it. I was like we're in Virginia City. Why is everyone acting like it's another town? You're getting school or Manza. She knows her Virginia City.

See that? Oh, no. Come me. The propaganda is working. Here, Ray, it's like the Taliban. I've been brought in. I've been brainwashed. Oh, yeah.

And now it's time to do 9-11. Okay. I don't understand. Are you pro-Talban or against? Anti. Wait, wait. I don't think that we have to take a stance right now before we've thought about it. Okay.

Okay. You're right. I actually don't want to speak on that. Okay. We have not done our research. Oh. And I'd like some time to do my own research on TikTok. About whether the Taliban is good or bad.

Yes. Yeah. That's perfectly fair. Because that is a band, correct? Yeah, it is. A band? The Taliban? Yeah.

Oh, dear. He's like they're proud of their ignorance. Did you guys know there's a band called The Band? Yeah, of course. I've played with them many times. Yeah. Levin Holm, Robbie Robertson. They're friends of mine, okay?

Yeah. What's the real deal? Didn't they die in a plane crash? No, they didn't die in the plane crash. You're thinking of Leonard Skinner. Yeah, and Buddy Holly and Big Bopper and Richie Valens, but not my friend. How's a little bopper doing, by the way? So you all right?

Yeah. He's sick. Didn't Lisa? Lefti Lopez also dying in plane crime crime? Yeah, and they didn't speak to that because they don't talk about women. And who is the other one? Was it Alia? Yeah, Alia.

Yeah, we don't talk about women that died. You also didn't talk about her. There's a strict no lately 80s dying and plane crash. That's right. God damn it. I can honor that. Good. Honor it.

But we're going to be setting rules later too. Oh. Little Joe rides into Rubicon. He's immediately told by Hitler. Do not go near. Miss Sylvie Ann But he steps right to him And they have a fight in the street

And L.J. Lil John, little Joe prevails Easily on the fight. He beats up Hitler. And then Sylvie comes out And then she's helping them And she says, this is the first time She says, I'm not your sort of girl. And you say she looked down.

She's a shame. She's full of shame Because of how the show is treating women of the night. And we understand in that moment. I think that she is a sex lover. Yeah. Well, her job, as a saloon gal, she's supposed to chat up the fellas and sell them more and more liquor as she's chatting them up.

Now, sometimes they do go upstairs together. A hoar. A hoar. In comes the mayor and Ab Brock, who we understand owns a lot of the mining concerns around these parts. And they are all excited that little Joe beat up the bad big guy, Higgler, beat up Higler and everybody's talking about it and they say hey you know what the sheriff broke his leg and has gone to Reno to have his leg treated by a leg reno leg specialist we need a sheriff will you be the sheriff we're so impressed with how you beat up Higler and little Joe he's not sure about it but he's gonna think about it right right that's what happens in that I feel like you're missing the part where the mayor comes in and is the dad of that horror yes and he's like

Where's my drinks or? It's maybe nine in the morning. And he gets up. Well, she says that. She says this little early for drinks. And he goes, shut up, bitch. And he hits her. And he hits her.

Really? Smacked her across the face. I don't recall that. She flew down. If he didn't do that physically, he did it energetically. Okay. And then he grabs three glasses. He does like whiskey, hardcore like malt liquor, which is disgusting.

Which is we don't drink, by the way. Yeah. And I never will. Really? Uh-uh. The only thing that I have is Cavita. probiotic refreshers sparkling drink lemon ginger that's the only thing you'll drink hey there's one of them right here naturally flavored with other natural flavors I hope you are probably

underage but can I offer you a schlitz beer would you like one is that like a kombucha you can't be talking about our schlitz not after your conviction you were talking about our schlitz yeah I'm talking about art no I'm talking about my god my schlitz you need to cut my out of this I normally leap to your defense, but I'm leaving you going to this one. You're talking about my schlitz. Stolton, you need to get. We're fucking underage. That is so fucked up.

I don't even know what to do. I didn't even know they had slits. I don't know what they did. First rule, no talking about schlitz. Yeah, number one. Can I offer you a Papsed? Ah! Ass!

All right, but come on now. I'm like sweating. I'm so, I know I'm so uncomfortable. Look, he's leaning forward. You're attacking us. Okay. Last one. How about it?

He's going to get a monkey knuckles. He's sitting here you. He's serious. How about a course? No. How about a cores? A cores? Coors.

I can say honestly that this trauma is about to course through my veins for the rest of my life. Okay. a schlitz of Pabst in a car. Walk into a whorehouse. This is so offensive. I don't even know what to do. Dalton, if you do another podcast with him, you're,

I mean, you're going to get arrested. You guys are, like, already, like, blowing up Reddit. I've been posting this whole thing. What, really? In a good way? No. Yeah, we are alive.

Alive on Reddit? Mm-hmm. Shit. And substack. Roll. And that's actually, that's the one that's going to take you the fuck down. Really?

The, the, the queers on there are coming for you. Yes. It's a very militant subsect of my population. Queers, I'll meet you on subsect anytime you want. You can't say queer. Why? You just said it! The way you said queer is so offensive.

I did kind of find the grit of it refreshing. Thank you very much. Yeah. I'll talk about queers anytime you want. Let me try this. If I do the grit, Schlett. Does that work?

Oh, my God. That's worse. It was really disturbing. It's sickening. I'm worried Guys we haven't made it very far into this episode Somehow we'd keep Okay

Alright alright To the alcoholic dad What What about alcohol Alcohol is ugly juice Oh it's beautiful All right now Little Joe has gone home to talk it over with his father

His father doesn't want him to become the sheriff for Rubicon And he says I didn't raise my sons to live by a gun Not true That's not true at all They're constantly shooting And was little Joe's father Latinx. He ain't, I don't even know what that is.

You know that they're all brothers, like all the ones at the house, the ones that look like, like Big Bear, Little Bear, Middle Bear. It's just like, it seems like a time pre-casting. Yeah. No, they're half-brothers. Yeah. He's not Latin. By the way, it's pronounced Latinx.

And he's Canadian. Okay. That, okay. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I mean, the actor is. Yeah, water borders.

Do you say water borders? I did violate some water borders in my fluid convictions. Oh, no. We took in a water border recently. Yeah, just for some extra income in this bare bedroom. Well, anyway, what does I say? All right, yeah. Ben Cartwright is the father.

He had three different wives. They all died, but they all bore him a son. And that's what the three boys are. Oh, that's what they all look a little bit different. All right. And now this is a very beautiful scene, because we understand Little Joe's motivation for taking the sheriff job. It's because his two big brothers are always teasing him.

They talk about him like he's lazy and girl crazy and don't take him serious. And now he's got to prove something to him and take this job as a sheriff. I found this very moving and beautiful scene. See, that's funny because we were talking about how it, what a dangerous decision this was to have a young man decide to take a job as a cop. Because he feels emasculated by other men. Exactly. So he's entering the job from a point of rage. Exactly.

It's like he's going to, I mean, probably kill somebody. Take that out on his constituents, if you will. The people he's like sworn to protect. A matter of time before the horror gets killed. I'm just going to say that. This is a great reason to become a law enforcement officer because you're angry at the world. Now you've got a way to take it out on lawbreakers. Taking that negative rage and turning it good because all cops are inherently good.

Yeah. No. What? We'll hit that later. Yeah, I know that was really bad and wrong. That was crazy. I'm going to filter that through my system before I. I'm so sorry. I told you this was going to be really hard, didn't I?

You can't be a cop if you're bad. They don't let you in. Yeah, they don't let you in. Yeah. I mean, you have to take tests and shit. It's a fact. Yeah, there's a goodness test. Yeah.

It's a goodness test. Yeah. Little old ladies to cross the street. Absolutely. Which hallmark card would you pick from your mom? I just don't remember this from the episode. at all. Well, it's not in the episode. You have to understand it. It's extra textual.

Uh-huh. Little Joe is sworn in as the sheriff of Rubicon. They give him the town charter so that later we can have a little bit of funny business where Joe accidentally gives a town charter to his sweetie instead of a poem from Shakespeare. Yeah, that was

hilarious. You guys found it funny that the person that they are giving the job of sheriff hadn't read the fucking town charter yet? Yeah, you think that's funny? That's a comedy to you. Yeah, that's hilarious. That he didn't know the laws. Wait, you guys can't even read.

What are you talking about? You don't need to be able to read. No, you don't need to read. You can watch a video. But back then, it's like... You had to read. There was no videos. He had, there were no videos.

Which, I don't know if you know that. But there was no videos back then. Yeah, I know that. If you're so smart, how is there a video of this episode? Yeah. See that? He got you. Sorry, darling.

What do you mean like that it was filmed? Yeah. It's supposed to be that you don't know the cameras. It's not about. it being filmed. Semantics. Yeah. Semantics. They got me on that one.

All right. So let's see here. Brock tells Sylvie. Okay, here's where we start to get the feeling that something underhanded's going on. Because Brock is now talking to Sylvie. Turns out two of them is lovers. Now, Joe is making pitching woo on Sylvie this whole tab.

Do you guys use that term? Pitching woo? I mean, I don't know what that. I've probably done that if I like. eat too much cheese. That's not what I mean. I do. He's gone to court and he's a court and Sylvie.

That's what I mean. He's making love. Now that term used to know it just made. Making love? Yes, you could just say when you were flirting with someone, you could just say you're making love at them. That's what it was. That's perverted.

Coming out of your mouth. You know what? That's actually, I'm putting that into my brain now. Sylvie Ann S.A. sexual assault. This is unbelievable. It's literally writing. Right there on the right. Written right in front of you.

I'm right on the wall. On the wall. Written on the wall. Would you recap this? You keep stopping. I know. Here's what happens. It is revealed here that the sheriff never broke his leg.

He was just sent out of town because the sheriff is an experienced lawman who knows his way around a gun. And Brock doesn't want an experienced capable lawman in Rubicon because something he's about. to do something bad. Is this the test you were talking about for police? No. And so he'd rather have an inexperienced, young, unsurious boy wearing the sheriff's badge for this period of time. Is this literally how they recruit cops, everything you're saying?

No, it can't be. You even watched Bosch? Yeah, watch Bosch. Got to watch Bosch. Chris Bosch, really popular NBA players. Oh, yeah. I guess I've watched some basketball. No.

Okay. So we've learned some dirty underhanded things. There's only, okay, maybe I'll tell you, here's maybe one slight, here's what I wanted to know. Okay. Brock has a plan. He doesn't want an experience lawman in town while his plan is going down. I never quite did understand that plan even through the end of the episode. But that's a strength of the episode.

That's not the point. But it's ambiguous like a Kubrick film. Yeah. Could he have left the position of sheriff unfilled for a few days? rather than to fill it. No, because part of the intention, I think, of putting Lil Joe in that position was to take his attention away from Sylvan. Okay. You know what I mean?

Because remember when Brock walks into the saloon and he's like, uh-oh, Joe is the job of Sheriff too intense for you, aka, you know, like, why are you fucking talking to this whore on the job? And then Lil Joe leaves and what happens is Brock is like, Pseps, Psi-Sip-Sah. And we find out that Sylvan kind of in it really, I would say slut. Sleddy. Sleddy. Sleddy way. No. No.

Stop. Stop. Stinky, fine. Skinky. Skinky. Skinky. You can't say skinky. You can say stinky.

You can say stinky. You are allowed to say stinky. Okay, she was stinky and that means she's a whore? She was being stinky. Wait, what was the rule? You can I say skanky. Can I say skanky? No, you can say skunky or skunky?

You can say skunky? Or a stinky? Stinky. You can say, instead of whore, you can say Hussy. I don't love that. Harlot. No.

Woman of the night. Yes. Okay. Although we are assuming a lot of gender. And what time of day it is. Saloon gal. She's a saloon gal. But to find out that that woman was misleading him so overtly when he had just

humiliated himself. I'm sorry, Lojo did read her fucking sonnet from Romeo and Juliet. So he's just being, he's being totally. really humiliated. And I did feel bad for him. Yeah. I mean, because he's a lesbian. Yeah. Yes. As a point, I did think she was a lesbian. The birth of an insul. Well, now, little Joe comes upon Higler again and they get into another fight,

and it's a classic stable fight to the point where Joe gets beat out a window. And then he comes back around the door. I didn't see that coming. I had no idea when Higler opened that door after throwing a guy out the window that the guy was going to be behind the door. really got me. That wasn't that good? It was a hell of a brawl and it ends with little Joe pulling his gun and arresting Higgler

and he knows he's put it together. He says, first time I had a fight with you, I beat you easy. This time I couldn't beat you for nothing. Who paid you to win the fight against me? He's a genius. He puts that together.

He's a pretty good sheriff. He's a good detective. Yeah. Like Bosch. You guys watch Bosch? How about Bosch legacy? You need to stop with the Bosch. And then it's been on valid.

You're talking about our Bush right now? Okay. You're sick. That was sick. We're going to have to edit that out. We're going to have to edit that out. Slits, Paps, Coors, and Bob. Oh.

I can't. All these things he can't say. Oh, my God. Well, now, okay. I was just, can I just say, do you think they missed, like, a huge opportunity in that scene for romance? Yeah, me too. It was so obvious that Hitler and Lil Joe had a romantic thing going on.

What are you chosen about? Especially as, like, a young, blonde, lesbian type, and the only brunette. in the entire show. I just was like, this is... Also, they're in the hay. He's in the hay. Well, they won't.

They're like, like they could be rolling around in the hay. Yeah. It's something I've heard you guys say before. Yeah, roll. Take a roll in the hay. That was just kind of a proof of the show's inherent homophobia

that they didn't fuck in the stabled. And like, I don't like, we don't like watching sex, but I'd like it to be alluded to that maybe they had sex. Yeah, I wouldn't have it and I don't want to watch it. But I do think that they should have had it. I'll never have it. I'll never watch it. I'm going to be.

asexual until the day I'm, I die. Good Lord. But I have mixed feelings about that. I think it's good, but it's bad. They don't want to drive or have sex much. What's got, or drink? What are they going to do? The first time you have sex is always in a car with alcohol.

Yeah. I mean, this is a real feedback loop. Yeah, it's actually pretty hard. Yeah. Yeah. What are you going, literally what are you going to do? Watch TikTok videos on your time? Yeah, I watch TikTok videos of pimple popping and paper mache.

And I watch them of people cleaning carpets. And we're trying to find a way by watching it that we can monetize it. Sometimes I watch ASMR. That's probably the horniest thing I do. Mm-hmm. Whoa. Do you ever want to procreate, have children of any kind? That's so interesting that you're just assuming because we have wounds.

Wow. So you just made me into a mother. I just ask you. And that's not fair. An incubator, if you will. Everything about your energy just changed into demonic. Like, I was just ask it. and just, you know,

because that's all we're worth, the babies that come out of us, I'm not interested. Just because I have testicles doesn't mean I want to be a fine. You can't. You cannot say testicles. You can't.

That word has been abolished for years. I'll change that. I retract that, Your Honor. Clanking cowbells. Clanking cowbells. That's fine, right? It's your satchel. There you go.

My saddlebags. Ew. That's fine. Or your purse. It's your purse. You can, you're allowed to call. call it your prick. He's got a sperm purse.

Ain't nothing wrong with that, God damn it. When are you going to recap this episode? I'm trying to for Christ. I think. Just before you do, do you think that the mayor got the part in McCabe and Mrs. Miller and Papa because Robert Altman directed him in Bonanza before? Or? Oh, it wasn't the mayor. It was Hitler.

And it was Hitler who's the town drunk. And he was in whirly birds and troubleshooters. I took a nap. And combat. Don't wake up. God. All right.

What do we got now? Christ's sake. All right. No, wait. Little Joe has figured it all out. He pieced it together. Oh, no, I don't know. No, he comes back to the bar now.

And he's like, Sylvian, what the fuck? And she rocks over him. And she's like, oh, my God, you got hit. And he, what does he do? What? He strikes her. Wow. Oh, he did?

He does. He goes with her hands and then he shakes her. Oh. That's true. Well, and that's how that used to be, I look this up. That used to be a way that, mind would be like, I want to, like, have sex with you. Oh, my God.

They would shake you like, you're like a baby, you know. Yeah. It's beautiful. All right. Now, Hitler getting beat up. Okay. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Brock breaks Hitler out of jail right away. Okay. Hitler's not in jail for more than five minutes for Brock Bay. Because they're afraid that Hitler is going to tell Little Joe all about the whole

business of the scheme because Little Joe has already figured out. Somebody paid him to lose the fight to. Now, We know the Brock has two bad guys coming to town. They're dressed in black and little Joe calls them Undertakers. Right. Okay. Yeah.

They're already in town. Sylvie visits Brock. When Sylvie visits Brock. Yeah. To tell him a little bit about the plan to kind of like hint to him. Yeah. She does say something that I found so awesome and I want to keep it for the rest of my life. She says when you see Higgler next, what are you going to do?

Read him some poetry. Oh, she said that's a little Joe. That's right. She kind of, she could tell there was sexual attention between them. So we all agree that was kind of sexy and steamy. That, well, it's either that she's insinuating that they're being like gay together or it's that she's like, you pussy ass, but you can never handle me. Which I agree with both. That she didn't like the poetry, which is interesting because then the next time they see each other, what does he do?

He recites a line from the, the, Brumio and Juliet. No, it's another, it's another Shakespeare one. And I'm like, you don't have her consent to recite that. She said she hates poetry. She said. What? Also, you don't have Shakespeare's consent. A hundred percent.

And that's actually one of the only ways that you can do Shakespeare is have his consent. I'm just real quick, I'm going to say out loud. I'm going to say, pussy-ass bitch. See how it goes, okay? Okay. You're going to try it? Because Aiden just said it did anything. Yeah, so I think it's okay.

I think it must be. I think they're going to receive this well. Because if Shakespeare can't give you what? Just real quick, pussy-ass bitch. Why are you saying your own name? Damn mud I'm sorry that went that way for you I thought it was gonna go good

Hey you guys Aiden Yeah What's this game Marky Okay Anyway I'm so sorry

I got so old That I might Legally change my name To pussy ass bitch Oh damn I'm so sorry I'm gonna head down to Norwalk California

The County Recorder And say ma'am I'd like to change my name from Mutt Taylor to pussy-ass bitch. And you'll be looking in the mirror again. With your little purse. It's all sounding, you know what? I think I went through the Batman door. It's all sounding pretty good.

It is fun. Well, okay, bro, here's, all right. I'd finish the description. It's like, it's like we're watching the show all over again. You want to? It's taking forever. You're acting like we keep interrupting you. You're acting like we want to be here. Look, okay, Brock has a guy coming to town who knows him from another time in his life,

and his guy has to die because it'll screw up everything that Brock's got going to Rubicon if this guy comes to town and knows who he is. So now, that's why he's hired the two undertakers. The stage coach is going to come in at first light, and the guy that Brock wants dead is going to come off the stage coach. This is the whole reason he got rid of the good sheriff and brought in a bad sheriff, so that this situation could not get stopped for him. And little Joe understands all of this.

and Little Joe Sylvis steals Little Joe's horse and rides out to the Ponderosa Seems like she could have taken another horse That's all I'm gonna say No, she had to take Little Joe's horse So that they would believe her And she is exhausted when she gets to

She's practically dying from horse riding Yeah, I'm like, what? It's so hard about sitting on a fucking horse, lady? She's being a bitch, I will say that. I'm sorry, but she's being a weak woman. But then she gets picked up And she gets put on that couch And then for the medicine, they give her brandy.

Yeah, they're like, you need water. They give you a class of fucking ugly juice. Brandy, it's medicine. But now, she tells all the cart rights at the ponderos all about that Joe is headed into this ambush. It's going to be two on one. Excuse me, I actually just fell asleep. What? No, wake up, God damn it.

What's happening? Come on, you got to pay attention, pussy is bitch, because they're not. I am a pussy ass bitch. Pussy ass bitch. Pussy ass bitch. Come on. We've got to finish this. Whatever you say, I am a beta.

Let's go. There we go. Finally, you say something that I like. They've got their fists in the air like it's the Olympics. All right. Now. Like it's the Olympics. Now we got all the car rides are going to ride the Little Joe's risky.

Okay. But they end up getting there just a little too late. They end up getting there literally like a minute too late because Little Joe's got a plan where he's on stage. Coach, he comes out. He comes out. It's gunfire and all's, and Brock gets shot and the bad guy says, that's not a Brock, that's, well, I wrote down the name, Thomas Winston or something like that.

He's a murderer in a whole other part of the country. Okay. That's how it is. And then what? Well, have you ever seen Frozen 2? Oh, Lord. Finally, you're speaking about Ler language. Oh, okay, pop off.

Huh? Pop off. Pop off. We watch it as babies. Go ahead. There's a part where Olaf recounts the story of Frozen 1 to the North Older of like Hill people. Right. You remind me at him. Well, thank you very much.

That means I'm cool like a snowman. And that's coming from a pussy-ass bill. All right. But now the episode ends with Hawes and Adam promising to never again make a joke at Little Joe's expansion. Big bear and medium bear tell Little Bear that they're not going to tease him anymore. Which is ridiculous because we're just like instituting like a rule now that we can't make fun of Little Joe at or he'll be violent and become a cop. He hated that.

And then also, we spent no time with Sylvie's grief. Grief, excuse me. Yeah, or her grease. Or her grease. What's going on with her grease? Exactly. As a fluid expert, I can tell you a little something about her grease. Oh, my interpretation of her grease.

Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. Are you okay? You don't even want to? Well, maybe later. Okay. Locker in tachy, sick us. I mean, did we not find out that Brock, the love of her life,

had killed a man six years prior. which is a year before they met, a year before they agreed to get married. Men will literally kill multiple people. Period. Period. Yeah, that's true. Instead of going to therapy. Yeah, I killed a therapist once when they told me I had to go to therapy. Uh-huh.

You want to admit that on there? I mean, you're already going to jail based on everything you said. Which, we'll figure out. Yeah, we'll bleep something. What do you want to bleep therapist or told? Just bleep everything in the podcast except that moment where I, I admit to killing my therapy. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, that's the only part you don't have to be ashamed of today, but. I am no longer a pussy-ass bitch. Yeah. I'm back. I'm murder her. Well. Well, okay, yes, Sylvie has grief because the man she loved has died.

Is that your... Dying in her arms, actually. And she's about to find out that, one, he's not the man that she thought. But he's also, for the last moments of his life, realizing that the identity that he wished for himself is not going to be honored and respected. And also, you think about it, it's like she's going to go back. to the whorehouse go like hang out like be the whore for her her in her dad's town that she lives in beages for a living giving beages in serving whiskey at 9 a.m. ugly juice beages and then little joe

search engine little joe just coming in for one hot second like oh I want to like be with you whatever then he has like a little blip being a cop and he's like actually I want to go live with my fuck my brothers back on the ponderosa he ain't gonna fuck his brothers they all fuck each other I don't know how many times I have to tell you. If you watch the credits. Of course I watched the credits. I didn't see them fucking each other. They're riding each other.

It's heavily alluded to that they fuck. They're all on horses in the credits as if the horses aren't supposed to represent each other's brothers. Oh my God. So anyway, he goes, he's like, sorry whore. I don't want to hang out with you anywhere. I'm going to go fuck my brothers on the Pondrosa. So she gets left all alone at the whore house that she works at. And we are never going to see her again.

Her dad's drunk. so we have to assume we know kind of how that day is going to go for her. Exactly. What do you mean by that? He's probably going to go by there and be like, can I have another one? He is an elected official. Just like a cop he's unassailable. Uh-huh.

God damn. It's like you watched a whole other episode from what I watched. Maybe you did. Maybe you watched a different show. No, we watched the same one. I think you guys watched like sex in the city or something. Oh, my God. I watched.

I thought I would have been in a much better mood. Yeah, I wouldn't be going like this. Oh, those eye rolls. They hurt my eyes. On Bonanza, if you die, but you have a moment to say something before you fully expire, then that is a moment to redeem yourself. And I believe Brock did that. His final words were, I made a big mistake. Takes a big man to admit on the way out with having no more responsibility or repercussions.

Wasn't he referring to having Joe. elected as sheriff. Yeah. Yeah. So, see, he's capable of admitting he's wrong.

Yeah. It wasn't necessarily a mistake to have committed that murder or plan another one. And I was kind of, I did think it was

pathetic that he only had two undertakers. Like, you're going to take out an entire stage coach. Like, get more men. What's going on with you?

And you're a billionaire, you're a minor. Like, you own a bunch of mines. Why do you have two undertakers? That's what happens when we cut corners.

It's like, we need to privatize that. We have to privatize that. Privatize what? Privatize. By nature cuts corners. Exactly. Thank you for admitting that.

Thank you for saying that. And we've come back around. You guys like mutt now? He's. Who's mutt? He's cute. Who's mud? Do you mean pussy-ass?

Bitch? P-A-B. Call me Pab. Thank you. I will not acknowledge your old name. I guess I can forgive him for talking about our body Schlots

Our schlits are Our paps Our pobs And your booms and our boches First I like that you Pab you switch to using words Like stinky and smelly Instead of slutty and

That was really grown up I Visited a whore Who was stinky And I did not talk about Her papsed her papsed her slits, her cores, or her Bosch. So have I

done it? I feel that we're closer to something because of your effort. Yeah, it was nice to see you try. But yeah, I don't know. You guys are getting canceled after this. So this is the last episode. Thank you to all

the fans. We love you. And you guys, feel free to join me and M on their substack. We're going to be on substack so you can follow us, but This podcast has ended. Nope. They said it before you can't cancel something.

They ain't never been scheduled. Yeah, plus there's 352 episodes of Bonanza left to recap. Who's going to do it if not us? Put it on the schedule. Yeah, okay. I'm scheduling. Look, all right, we'll stop doing it after 352 more episodes. I can promise you that.

I hope so. Okay. Well, all right. It seems like I didn't make a Bonanza fan out of you this time. No. Not quite. I liked it. You liked it.

All right. You like, and you like the color? Eden, what are you doing? I liked it. Yeah. Okay, good. I don't think I would have watched as intently enough to make such a thorough critique if I had not slightly enjoyed it. There you go.

That's a modest. It's got layers. It's onions skin. I wish it had ads. I wish it was 30 seconds instead of five hours. Yeah. Or at least cut up into like part one, part two, part three. Each 15 to 20 seconds.

Yeah. I wish. You wanted Quibi to produce. I wish there were comments. Okay. You wish there was comments on it? Yeah. Well, I'm sorry.

It's not the kind of garbage entertainment you young people are used to. It's good quality television. Right. Oh, Lord. All right. Well, Aidan, thank you for being here. Aidan, do you want to plug? Yeah, the GSA is going to be serving brownies in the cafeteria.

They are gluten-free. They are vegan. And we are raising money for dogs who have... Outstanding loans. Please. And outstanding loans. What's a GSA? It's a gay straight alliance

Oh my god, I can't believe he didn't know. Why is the gay straight alliance raise money for dogs? Well, we're just not afraid of helping out every cause that we can't. It's the only thing we can all agree on. And if more dogs went to college, then that helicopter wouldn't have crashed. So here's the thing. Dogs can do everything humans can do. 100%.

Okay. Rest in peace. RIP to the guy who died years ago in like 1970. Yeah. 1881. All right, folks, that's an episode of Bananas for Bananas. I don't fully understand what happened here, but I'll sign off on behalf of myself and pussy-ass bitch.

That's me. And Mark and Aiden. And we'll see you next time. Now get it. Bananas for Bananasas brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Gordon with The Journey. Which in this case are Mark McConville, Daniel Mitchiecoff, and Wade Ryan.

Bananas for Bananasas for Bananas is mixed and edited by Mark McComb. Executive produced by Andy Daly and Matt Goode. We'll see you around.