Bonanas for Bonanza - Bonanas For Bonanza Episode #82: “The Tall Stranger”

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

Subscribe to The Andy Daly Podcast Project at Patreon.com/AndyDaly Actor and comedian Chris Smith joins Dalton and Mutt to discuss season 3, episode 16, "The Tall Stranger", in which a beautiful horse and a beautiful woman flee from Hoss Cartwright's affections as fast as they can.Featuring Chris Smith & Matt GourleyMerch: redbubble.com/people/ADPodProject/shopMail: PO Box 9407 Glendale, CA 91226Email: [e-mail]’s website: andydaly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, this is Andy Daly, inviting you to subscribe to patreon.com slash Andy Daly, where each month we release a brand new bananas for bananas for Bonanza episode, and two episodes of the comedy grab bag podcast, bonus nanza extravaganza. Plus, you get access to our Discord and other goodies. So do check it out at patreon.com slash Andy Daly. Thank you. Find a show alive. So consult your TV guide, get your great outdoors inside, take some Ponderosa pride and forever made. Let's get started with a yeh! It's bananas for bananas.

God damn. I love this show. This is the one and only podcasts in the whole world, period. No, that ain't true. But it's one of the only ones probably the number one probably of talking about bananas. Might as well be the only podcast ever was. Yeah, I think so. Now, all right, but we're going to do, we're going to have an exciting time today talking about episode 16 of season three of bananas for bananas.

And you and me, but we got a guess with us. Ah, it's a goodie. Yeah, what's up, Chris? Hey, guys. This guy's name is Chris Smith. That's your real name. That's right. Yeah, that's my real name.

Okay, because if you was going to try to, like, come up with a fake name, I don't know if this is insulting or complimentary. if somebody, you didn't have much time to come up with a fake name, you might come to Chris Smith. No, it is, yeah, it's a quick one. And there are a lot of Chris Smiths. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Are there other Christmas? What line of work are you in? I'm an actor and a writer, and there are many actor Chris Smiths. Tell us about some of the... It's a lot of competition to be the, I don't know, not to say the best, but you definitely want your IMDB ranking to be higher than the others, but mine is not.

I'm somewhere in the middle. Who's a more ranking Chris Smith? There's a guy who does procedurals who's a Chris Smith who does quite well. Oh, really? So he's on your NCIS and Navy. One of those. Jag shows and whatnot. Exactly.

Yeah, yeah. I'm but I'm Christopher Nicholas Smith. Okay. Is that what you are professionally? My middle name is actually Edward. Where did you get to Nicholas? So I, that's my confirmation name when I was, hold on. Oh, when I was. Hold on. Yeah. Nicholas has in St. Nicholas. Yeah. And if you had a Lisp, your name sounds like Christmas.

Oh my God. I love this guy. You're not saying Claus, though, are you? I'm not Santa Claus. No. You know, if you were, you'd have to tell us, right? You know that's the room. Actually, I think it's the other way around. Especially if you're picking up a prostitute. Sorry, sex prostitute. I'm not Santa Claus. I'm not Santa Claus. I. did choose my confirmation name because of Santa Claus. Yeah, is that right? Yeah, because you have to choose it based on a saint. Oh, okay. Really? Did you really?

Yeah, you did. So I said, well, if I'm going to pick a saint, it might as well be St. Nick. Oh, my God. Now, that's just thinking. Yeah, that's a good one. But how old were you when you did that? 12 or so, 12 or 13. Did you believe in Santa Claus at that time?

I, Maybe I was holding on to something, I guess. It's a little old. Maybe a little. It's a little old. My confirmation name, I was named after Saint, too, and I'm Matthew Boondock. You're one of them Saints of Boondock? Yep.

Yep. My confirmation name is Newark. Remember that? Saints of Newark? No. That's the thing. Oh, the many saints. Sure.

It was a prequel to Sopranos. Oh, that's right. I did. But everybody wanted and it really came off. And everybody got it. I watched it. Was there a clamoring for a prequel to Sopranos? I don't know.

I love the Sopranos. I didn't think it was necessary. Uh-huh. It felt unnecessary. It felt a little unnecessary. Really? Because I just feel like Sopranos is a little superfluous after Saints in Newark. Yeah.

It just seems like a little bit of like, well, you got the original story. What's all this fluff and falter all that comes later, you know? That's fair. Fair. Yeah. That's perfectly fair. I was watching that World Series. You see the World Series?

Baseball, yeah. There's a baseball. That's right. There's a guy on there named Will Smith. Right. That's not the one you're thinking of. Well, I'm thinking of the creator, a showrunner of Slow Horses. Who are you thinking of?

Oh, I was thinking of the guy that slapped Chris Rod. Well, I was thinking of if somebody potentially thinking of me doing something, Will Smith, do something. Same with Merry Christmas. I'd like to Merry Christmas. Anybody got a ring? You know what I mean? Yeah, sure. That was close to being the proposal that I chose.

I kind of fell apart because it got too confusing for me. Yeah. It is confusing. Yeah. It's hard to make it in the world. My God damn. Don't know what you bleep. But now, Chris, you're an actor.

Have you ever acted in anything as good as Bananza in your own life? No, certainly not. Anything Western related? No. No, I don't think I have. Oh, you're going to like this. What? He was in one of them paranormal activity movies facing off with ghosts.

Holy shit. For serious? For serious. Yeah, number three. Paranormal activity number three. Intivity number three. Yeah, no joke. What?

Most people agree is the finest one. Really? Yeah. Now, I don't think, I don't know if I've seen one of them, but they are all like, the deal is somebody puts cameras in their house. Right. And the cameras is catching an actual ghost business. Mm-hmm.

And so it's shot from fixed position. Are they all done that way? There's, yeah, it's found footage. Found footage, that's what they call it. Fixed position cameras in various places in the house. Right, right. Well, the idea is that the... Kind of like this.

Kind of like this. Oh, boy. Yeah, if something was happening in the background, this would be a great found footage shot. But the idea was explained to me was that the detective piecing together the murders that happened during the film puts it together in this way to explain how they happened. That's what the movie is. Oh, he made a narrative edited.

Right. He was a filmmaker. Yes, exactly. But do they tell you that that's what it is? Do they say that that's what's happened? Or you just... No, that's the logic of piecing the footage together. And what was it like working with ghost?

Are they easy to work with? Are they... I will say we were visited by a medium on the set, on the set. Really? So, um, Von Pragg, Edwards, which one? Um, I, I know either of those. Uh, Patricia Arquette, was she on that show medium? Uh, no, he was a medium t-shirt is what I was, you know, like a J-Crew medium.

It's like a J-Crew medium. Well, everyone knows a J-Crew medium is a real world large. They view vanity sizes. Exactly. Yeah, so he was a European slim, but he, he, he, no, the guy came to the set and he could actually read things and he, he, is a real world. predicted that one of the female cast members was about to become pregnant. And he was correct.

About to become pregnant. Correct. Yes. And is he the father? And you don't think that spurred her to go home and get pregnant? That's power of suggestion. And that is powerful power of suggestion. Yeah, I guess that could have happened.

I mean, now that I'm saying it, it seems pretty obvious that, yeah, he was just asking her out. And it worked. Yeah. He wanted a baby. That's what he wanted. You wanted to get her pregnant. Because he's just a medium, so he can't get it the normal way. Right, if he was a larger, extra large, you say?

Yeah. Yeah. That's how it works. Trouble getting gals just because he's a medium. And I'm talking a J-Crew medium. A J-Crew medium. Chris, is this the first time you ever watch an episode of Bonanza? It is.

I'm sorry to admit that, because it is a beautiful show. It's wonderful. It does make me angry when people don't watch it. Yeah. But at the same time, I'm happy when we introduce somebody to it. I'm excited to hear somebody as per person back from the first time they don't seen it. It's like going to third world countries and spreading the world of Christianity. Yeah.

Nothing wrong with it. Ain't nothing wrong with that. We're missionaries from bananas. That's right. Spreading the good word. Whoee. What'd you think, Chris? Let's hear it.

I really enjoyed it, honestly. I thought the storytelling was very straightforward. I was compelled by the acting. I thought it was really interesting acting. I mean, a lot of primary colors, you know? Oh, yeah. This is one of the first color television shows. RCA wanted to sell color television sets so they made it big.

It makes sense. So, yeah, it was, but the, yeah, the performances were really interesting. And the storytelling was like really, I mean, there's a lot to talk about with the episode. I'm sure we'll get into it. But overall, I had a very positive experience. is, I think, this might be one of the most Bonanza episodes of Bonanza of all times. You think so? Yeah.

Because it's got a cart right who's falling in love and maybe going to get married. And as soon as everybody was on board and excited about him getting married to a woman, I said, get the shovel. She's going to die. Yeah. I was wondering, how are they going to dispose of her this time? I was. That was my first thought. And people's hopes were so high.

Everyone was so happy at this time. I bet even that actress came on set going, I could see this being a recurring role, long running. I mean, maybe we'll actually get married. Do you spin-off? Haas's place. Yeah. Is that why you say it's a very typical bonanza episode

is because they'll just set you up just in the... Are all episodes sort of encapsulated like that? Yes. Oh, yeah. Well, it's happened. It's happened. many times that every member of the family has been on the cusp of marriage a couple of times at least.

Women don't live long on this show. Yes. Normally it's death that calls off the engagement. Because, you know, Ben Cartwright, the father, all these brothers are from different mothers and each mother died. Oh, okay. So there's something about the Cartwright seed that tends to kill a woman. or even the idea of it.

Yeah, because I don't think she even got to that. She got to someone else's. Someone else's seed was planted in that world. Can you believe they're even doing this subject? Unbelievable. Yeah. Well, all right. Here's what I say at the beginning of every episode.

Hello, friend. Come on in. The gate is up and wide. Welcome to Bananas for Bananza. Today we'll be discussing season three, episode 16, the tall stranger. The tallness of this stranger was not integral to the. the plight. And not a lot of screen time for the tall stranger just to get a title check, too. Like, this is really... He didn't seem to be particularly tall. Oh, it's vanity sizes. He's

Jay Crutal. He's Jay Crutal. I don't know why they called it then. But this episode has everything. A cartwright fixing to get married. A beautiful horse, a trip to San Francisco, and a party at the Ponderosa. All right. Yeah. Not the first. Not the first party in the Pondorosa. Oh, they threw a Christmas party recently. Oh, boy. It was a huge. There must have been eight people there. And they called it huge. He promised it was going to be the biggest

party ever at the Ponderosa. And it was quite a bit smaller than this one in this episode. Even this party here. Is it a population issue? How remote is this town? Oh, well,

well, that's a matter of some dispute. Okay. They live the nearest town to the Ponderosa Ranch house. Virginia City, which is either a 38-hour journey or about a 40-minute journey. Depending on plot convenience. Also, sometimes there's people living on their land. Sometimes they'll kill a man for living on their land.

Okay. All right. That's good to know. So the reality is a little bit. And where are we exactly northern California? It's the Nevada territory. Nevada, which is like a Lake Tahoe type area is where they're. Ponderosa is.

And Virginia City, it sounds like it's in Virginia, but it's in Nevada. Okay. What else? Oh, the reason that they said that it was going to be such a big Christmas party is they were talking to a blind girl and they knew she wouldn't know the difference. Yeah. Okay. They made everybody do a couple different voices. Oh.

No, they did. They should have. Well, let's talk about what I was going. This episode aired on January 7, 1962. It's 1962 now. We're talking about a whole different year. Their number one movie in the country was a shitty Disney Christmas movie called Babes in Toyland with Ray Bulger and Annette Funicello and Ed Wynn as the toy maker.

Wow. Ain't nobody like this movie, but I think I'm going to watch it this year. Are you now? Why ain't nobody like it? I don't know. I think it's like the third time somebody made a movie out of the Babes and Toyland. Was it a novel? It's an operetta.

Oh, okay. And people say Laurel and Hardy did it better. Oh, okay. It's a bullshit. The lion sleeps tonight is still the number one song. And a celebrity birthday is Alexander Dugin, a far-right political philosopher sometimes referred to as Putin's brain. He was born on this day. Wow.

Okay. Putin's got, there's somebody that they call Putin's chef and there's somebody they call Putin's brain. What is Putin doing? Really, he ain't cooking her thinking. I'll tell you that much. No. He's outsourced both of them things. Yeah.

I wonder if there's a Putin's dick, you know what I'm saying? Putin's dick. Sure. Yeah, to pee for Putin. Sure, among other things. But, you know, not unlike a king would have a royal taster or a Caesar would have a taster. Maybe there's a gal, and she's not altogether savory. She could be lousy with social diseases.

Right. So he has, where's my dick? Where's my dick? And in comes, you know, Vasili, who's. just got to try it out first. He's got to be riddled with every disease. But the thing is, they got to wait like a month for something to show up or not before Putin can get in there. You know what I mean?

Oh, I see what you're saying. I do a lot of thinking. Yeah. Yeah. I don't outsource my thinking. That's right. I'm no Putin. Right.

Mut is much brain. Yeah. Mud is much brain. Muts' penis as well as is mutts, right? Well, it belongs to someone else just like my heart. Oh. Yeah. Cas.

Yeah. He's got a lady named Cas, and she literally is in possession of his penis. She keeps it on an oversized locket. Jay crew medium or? Oh, no. Oh, no. No, sir. This is a Marshall's large.

All right? A Coles large. Yeah. Yeah. There's no vanity sizing at Marshalls? If anything, they're not doing you a disservice. You know what I mean? So when I say Marshall's Large, this is for an obese Midwesterner.

Got it. This shirt that is also a locket that carries my Johnson. A Johnson locket. Yeah. Well, all right, let's hear some fun facts about some of the people that was in this episode. Margie Owens. Now, she's a beautiful, blonde little creature there. She's falling in love.

More potential spam for you. Potential, but it never delivers. Every time I... It's always someone I know. And I said, I was promised spam. I'm angry at you, mom. Every phone call has the potential to be spam. Yeah, that's true.

Well, this lady, okay, she's from a town in Missouri. We've heard about before on this show called Humansville, Missouri. Why would you name a town, Humansville? If you aren't human, that's the only reason. The only reason to name a town, Humansville is... if the people that live there are not human, right? Yeah, yeah, I think so. It sounds like Westworld, you know?

It's like, hey, I'm going to Humansville. Uh-oh, what happened? You got punished and you got to die and become a robot or something. You know what I mean? Uh-huh. There's something dystopian going on in humans. That's right. And does this town still exist?

As far as I know, sure. Yeah, you think it's a town full of robots? Like it's a Stedford-Wife situation? It's either, yes, robots or... demons or aliens. Let me look it up. Yeah, look it up. Okay. This is her second time on Bonanza playing a different character. She played last time she was almost a different character. Who was she last? The actress? Yeah, that's right. Oh, wow. They did that a lot. I don't know who she was last time. But this is a big deal, this lady. She is maybe the only actress in the history of Bonanza

to play the same character more than once. And that's coming up. And that's coming up. And the 63-64 season. I was going to say it ain't this character. Nope. Because she dies. She will play the character of Laura Dayton, a pretty widow and prospective bride of Adam Cartwright. What?

That two-time. I know. Actress. In this episode, she's a prospective bride to hawse. Next season, she's going to be a prospective bride to Adam. And it's a wild story. Are you looking up Humansville? You won't tell us about Humansville before I tell you this?

It does still exist. It's 64 to Gris. Grease and Sunny there. It's in Missouri. We can get there for $170 if you fly. And it was founded in 1834 by James B. Human was definitely

a living soul. James Be Human. Pull up a picture of that guy. I'm kind of curious what he looks like. James Be Human. Of course he'd be. What else could he possibly be? I wasn't suspicious until you said that.

This is insane. Is history trolling us? Let's see what James B. Human. Oh, this is not him, but I am concerned. What's that? That's James Gilliam human? Oh.

Is that a death? Oh, I see. It keeps getting smaller every time you turn it around. That's weird. But it looks like a mummified person's face. There we go. I don't know. Is that the guy?

No, this is James Gilliam. We found another Jimmy. Well, I don't think it's this fella. No. He ain't founded no towns. Okay. Oh, James B. It doesn't seem to be a...

No, surprise. There's no picture of him. Oh, James be human. Oh, wait. Jack be nimble. James be human. Hold on. I've found a picture of him.

Here he is. No, devil. That's him. That's him. That's him. Yeah, that was just like a human. A classic gray. Yeah, great.

James be human. Johnny be good. Here's the deal. I don't know if you, here, I'll ask it this way since you're a newcomer to Bonanza. If you were to guess of the regular cast, which is the three cartwright boys and Paul Cartwright. Right. Which one of these guys hated being on the show Bonanza? Which one of the actors?

Which one would you guess? It's not the process of elimination. I'm going to go, not the youngest brother. Okay, that's Michael Landon, his little Joe. He seems real engaged. Uh-huh. The older brother seems like he doesn't want to be there. Bingo, you got it.

Was there a reason for that? Did he have a burgeoning film career that he wanted to go pursue? No, sir. He simply felt that his talents were greater than the show and that it was beneath him to participate in this program. And he said so publicly all the time. So he went on to do Trapper John MD, a doctor television show. Yeah, like 30 years later.

Oh, no. Yeah. That's a tough look. Wasn't there a guy on the Downton Abbey show who did that, who expected to have a big career afterwards and did an early exit? Oh, Matthew Guest? Is that his name? Dan Stevens. Dan Stevens.

I hate to say it, but he's been in a bunch of things. I'd love, I much prefer the idea of a well-calculated burden. Yeah. Yeah, but the way he died was hilarious on that show. Do you remember he, yeah, he was going to leave the show. Oh, he didn't get much notice, right? Yeah. Because they had built everything around him and then all of a sudden he went out for a ride in a car or something like car.

Yeah, but he's just like, la da-da-da-da, best day ever. What could go wrong? I'm a human. Here we go. And then he just crashes and dows. It's real funtery. Yep. That was good one. Anyway, that's what happened to Adam Carpwright.

He says, Pernell Roberts says, I'm done with being on Bonanza. Get me out of it. And so they bring in this actress, who's now been in two episodes of Bonanza, including this one. And they say, all right, you're coming in as a widow who falls in love with Adam Carpwright. Oh, is this what gets them out? Well, no, not exactly. So they do a couple of things. They bring in a widow for him to fall in love with.

And then they bring in a Cartwright cousin to, like, sort of take his place. So they've set all these things in motion across three or four episodes. And then Pernell Robert says, you know what? I'll hang around one more season. What? Wow. And now I got another cart right on the payroll.

No. In the second and last episode of the season, the cousin and the widow fall in love and ride off into the sunset. Wow. When is this going to be? The end of the 63-64 season. That's next season. So it's going to be a little while.

Darn, that's a tough look for an actor to go in there, think you're going to a new home and then get bounced right out. Right. That's like when the, was it the, the Bo and Luke Duke struck for more money. And so CBS called their bluff and brought their cousins in to Dukes of Hazard for a season or something. Do you remember this? Sure. Sure, I do. Yeah, and it was a real low-rent dukes, let me tell you.

And then the regular guys came back. But I don't remember who won the war. Oh. Did they compete at your late and come back? They must have, if they were willing to go as far as to bring the cousins and put them on camera for a whole season. Yeah, they must have said, we might have overstimed. And what does it say about us that is just like, okay, you know, we're just, we're following along, no problem, the audience. Yeah, I don't care.

I'll watch them. I think once they swapped out James Bond, it was all in the producer's hands, you know, all the favor. we had no power anymore when we accepted George Lasonby like we did as a society did you try and revolt in some way or you sound like Is that what happened? Was it Sean Connery

and then he said no more I'm going I want to be on Trapper John MD and then they said well George Lazyzeby is the future of the character That's right and then what happened to him? And then George Lazybsby says the culture's heading not in this direction I don't want to be a square, short-haired guy.

I want to be a long-haired counterculture hippies. So I'm quitting. Oh, I see. They wanted him back. Oh, they did. And then David Picker, United Artists says, look, let me handle this. And he goes to Sean Conner, and he says, I'll pay you more than anyone's ever paid, anyone to be in a movie. And Sean Conner says, all right, I'll do one more.

And he gave most of that money to the Scottish Boys Foundation. And he did Diamonds or Forever, the silliest James Bond movie to date. That was it, one and done. Then they got Roger Moore, who was two years older than James Bond. Please stop me. Okay. Stop it. God damn.

All right. She was also married to Darren McGavin with Kathy Brown. Oh, wow. That's right. That's a good gig. Now, the tall stranger, Mark Connors, was played by Sean McClory, who had a big part in the quiet man. He's authentically Irish. That's weird because I couldn't place his accent exactly.

Uh-huh. Wow. He's from Galway Ireland. He sort of go for, you know, sort of would pop up in a certain vowel sounds. It sounded not American. Maybe he was trying to be American. Maybe that was it. Did they ever mention that he's Irish?

No. Maybe that's what it was. That's why I accidentally said it weird. God, it would have played perfectly into the role, too, because he's a man of the world. Yeah. So if he was from Ireland, it would be even more enticing for. Right. Rita, is her name?

Oh. Kathy. Kathy. No, Margie. Margie. Margie. Not so close. That's all right.

But he will appear again in an episode of Bonanza called Hoss and the Lepricons. This is an episode where a hoss stumbles upon some leprecha. We've seen it on the ponderosa. Yes, we watched it. Yeah, that's intriguing because visually, you know, leprechauns being small and hoss being big. And they really tap into that. They really hit that. Haas is big thing a lot.

Yeah. They make fun of how much he eats. Oh, yes, they do. Oh, that's right. He polished off a whole bowl of mashed potatoes in this episode. That's right. Kathy was played by Jacqueline Scott. She was brought to Hollywood by William Castle,

who is the director of a movie we talked about recently called Mr. Sardonicus. Oh, yeah. This guy, William Castle, here's what he did. He made gimmicky, low-budget horror movies. And so for this particular movie called Macawb, which was shot in seven days. Is that like VistaVision?

Maybe. He said, on your way into the movie theater to see this movie, you will be given a $1,000 life insurance policy. What do you mean by gimmick? And how long did it? What was the term on that? Yeah. If you died during the course of the film,

of fright, which So it just lasted the term Just for the length of the movie. They'll just give you a cool thousand. Yes, that's it? That's not great. No. It's not great.

No, because you don't die just for the hour and a half of the movies. No. It's just enough to get you married in 1960. Why are you destitute little Susie? My dad took a challenge.

He rose to the challenge and went to see a film where you would get a thousand dollar life insurance policy. He was so scared he died. And so that was six years ago. And the money's been gone for five and a half years. And so my mom was there too. She died, but they'd only give one policy for family. So I don't have anyone or any money. Yeah, I'd ask them if they have regrets, but they're dead. Yeah, exactly. What was the gimmick on Mr. Sardonicus again? It was that And this character behaves horribly through the whole movie, just horribly.

But everybody in the theater has been given a card with a thumb, upper thumb down. And you will get to decide, like a Roman emperor at the Coliseum, whether this character lives or dies at the end of the movie. Wow. However, they had already shot only one ending where he dies. But at a certain point in the movie, the director comes on and says, well, now it's your turn to determine the outcome and the fate of this character. Please hold up your card. Well, the audience has spoken, and then they just killed him. Right.

Any of the other gimmicks you know of every film have a guinea? I guess they must have. I don't know. I can't bring any others to me. That's great. But the life insurance policy is kind of great. I mean, it's just, it's like you might die. It's so scary.

I mean, that's. Yeah. I mean, it also kind of like negates any potential lawsuits, too, you know. I'd think. Right. because you were aware that there's a danger to your life going to do this movie. It's that frightening. Apparently, nobody cashed in the life insurance policy.

You'd think there would be someone that, like, didn't have a life insurance policy. Just happened to pass away. Or was already going to maybe take care of themselves. Oh, right. And might as well get my stepmom a thousand bucks, you know. I'm going to go out anyway. This film. Saddest short story ever written, I think.

It just came up. Not bad, huh? Not bad. That's a way to steal. ticket to William Castle, though. You swallow a bottle of sleeping pills and go grab his life insurance policy and see his movie. You win. Yeah, it would have to be.

But then after the coroner's report, foul play, he took his own life. My movie did not kill him. You do not get the $1,000. Oh, you think he's got anything in the fine print? When you say short story, this is a good courtroom drama. Okay. You know what I?

Yeah. Yeah. Your Honor, they found sleeping pills on him. It was not my film. What killed the man? Well, it's got to be an airtight life insurance policy. I'm not paying. I'm not paying.

That's also the budget for my next film, so I cannot pay. Jacqueline Scott was also Dennis Weaver's wife in Steven Spielberg's duel. You ever see that? No. It's his first movie, right? Yeah, and I've never seen it. I've seen it. It's about a car trying to kill a man or a truck.

It's a truck trying to kill a man. Yeah. There's nobody in the behind the wheel of the truck. I don't believe so. It's the same as Chris. Like a way he went. He directed the first Colombo, is that right? That's right.

Then Duel. And then he did his, that was a TV movie. And then I think he did Sugar Land Express. No, you're thinking of Jaws. You're right. Similar, similar title. Yeah. I get the words Sugar Land Express and Jaws mixed up all the

time. Yep. Wait a minute. Oh, she also was married to the misguel lady got around. I know. She was married to this guy who was McLean Stevenson's manager. Speaking of people that leave shows too early, McLean Stevenson did like one episode, season of MASH and said, I'm a star. Nope, hello Larry. That's it. He's gone. I liked him, though. Yeah, he was good. Russell Thorson played George Owens, the father of Margie. and he was he was in this guy's career was so expansive

he was in a movie called please murder me and another movie called I want to live oh wow it's not the same same universe no I kind of

I don't think so that's like you know Wilson Phillips on the same album have a song called hold on and a song called release me

unbelievable I'm getting mixed signals from them you know that's not my fault what are you supposed to do with Wilson, too. Well, you do have two hands. So you could hold on with one hand and release with the other.

That's a good loophole. You do have a Wilson and a Phillips, too. You can hold, you could choose. You've got two Phillips and one, no, two Wilson's and one Phillips. Okay. Talking screwdrivers or tennis equipment. Tartney, Wendy are the Wilson's and China is the Phillips. Oh. I'm surprised it hasn't caught on that like, The one kind of screwdriver is Phillips. The other kind of screwdriver, we should be calling a Wilson. You're exactly right. Oh, my God.

We're still calling that out a flat head. Right. Right, right. Hand me a Wilson. All right. Hand me a Phillips. I see a lot of screws, though, with just the one strip anymore. They're not.

It feels like a yesteryear thing. They're used for some reason in decorative light plates. Oh. You see? Oh, yeah, yep. You need a Wilson screwdriver for that. You need a Wilson for that one. They're used more decoratively, I guess, as a throwback, but they're not very easy.

Well, I mean, let me be honest. Okay. It's easier to screw in a Phillips screw, but they strip easier. That's right. Right about that. Yeah. The Phillips. The Phillips.

The Phillips will strip easy. You know, throw a couple singles at them. You know what I mean? I wish China Phillips would strip. I love such a gross owner. I love short-haired gals. There's only one of them so they can't really defend. Well, there's only one from a brief period.

There's Carrie Fisher and to me more. Is that how it is? Is multiple Wilsons and one Phillips? Or multiple Wilsons and one Willsom? Two Wilsons, one Philip. Okay. That's the going exchange rate. You'll get two Wilsons for every Philip.

Still, to this day. to this day. Unbelievable. I know. And China Phillips married to Billy Baldwin. Get out of here. I will stay. Wow.

Unbelievable. How about that Thanksgiving? You got Hilaria in China and Billy and Alec? I'd like to have Thanksgiving with him. Oh, my God, you're right. Do you think Bieber shows up too? Because his wife is a Baldwin. Justin Bieber's wife is a Baldwin?

Yes. How's related to the Baldwin? I think it's Stephen's daughter. What? Fairly sure about that. Wait, Haley? Haley, Baudwin. Haley Bieber?

It was a Baldwin? Was a Baldwin. And she's, okay. That settles it. We got to go to this Thanksgiving. This would be incredible Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving with Justin Bieber and Chattah Phillips and Hilaria Baldwin. And Stephen Baldwin, who's definitely saying grace.

God damn. It's a lot of mouths to feed. It's a lot of cooking. I saw Alec and Hilaria at Disneyland not too long ago. Really? Oh, really? Truly, yeah. Were they being followed,

around cameras for their reality TV? I know, but they were there, I believe, as part of dancing with the stars. Oh, yeah. But they were in the park, just going on rides and shit. Well, I hear if you work for ABC, you can get some special park access. Is that right? Where you get right to the head of the line. You know, they have the fast pass.

I don't know if you play the fast pass game, but I think that if you work for ABC, you get some kind of special access to all the rides. Wow. You must have to be hype because you don't even get that if you work for Disney. Wait, isn't ABC Disney? Yeah. But I'm just saying even if you just work for Disney proper. I don't get that.

Oh, I see. Really? All right. Okay. Ed Prentice says Dr. Duffy, a beautiful doctor with a wonderful bedside manner in this episode. He was a... That was my favorite scene. That was by far my favorite scene.

The doctor telling him that he died. she died. Haas's acting is so great. Just the look off into the distance, he taps into that so much and he will just stay there, fixate on something in the long distance as the doctor's just kind of shouted into it.

Doctors just said, I knew it. I knew she was going to die and she's dead. He was in wonderful movies such as the barefoot executive, kisses for my president, and quick before it melts. A sex romp.

He was also a soap opera narrator and some goddamn psychopath on YouTube. For God knows what reason, just cut together like about a minute of him saying this. The days of our life. The days of our life. Days of our life. Who did this? How many views does this have? Well, five.

50011 days of our lives can you read a few comments of our lives days of our life days of our lives days of our lives days of our life days of our life

it just sounds like the instrumental theme I don't know I miss Ed Prentice he says like the sands through the hourglass so are the days of our lives and why did you just I remember this part.

Yeah, he said the whole thing. Like sands with the hourglass. There's 11 comments. Yeah. They're talking about Ed Prentice. He got tired using his voice, so Ed Prentice retires his voice. Then later, McDonald, Kerry took over these people know who took over for Ed Prentice on this job. I always remember McDonald's Carrie.

I never knew McDonald's Carrie until it. Anyway. I thought it would add some insight. or some clarity on to what was going on there, but no. No, that's okay. More questions than answers. That's okay. Just a psychopath.

Just thought would go on there. Dorothy Newman played the lady who tells Hoss where he can now find Margie. She's a, oh, she's, this is her second of four appearances on Bonanza. And it says on Wikipedia, she is especially known for playing characters in the horror and fantasy genres such as witches, crones, and gypsies. Darn Darn Tough Witches, Crohn's and Gypsies

Oh boy It's pretty tough Yeah, some of her roles The characters And things that she's played Are Spinster, landlady Old Crone librarian Mrs. Pennyfeather

Miss Penwistle Mrs. Peabody And bewitched The Crone of Cawador Wow It's time to bring Crone back Is that a nice way

To call an old lady? Can you define that for me? Is this is an old, I think it's an old miserly. Yeah, miserly lady. Like a bitty. Yeah. An old bitty. A bitty?

A bitty? Oh, bitty. Yeah. Like an old hand. There's a connotation of just horribleness to. Yeah. Darn. Yeah. Should I, for instance, should I call a wife an old crone?

Huh? Should I call my wife an old crone? Yeah. Okay. It's a good start. Yeah. and then work your way from there. Good morning, you old chrome. Well, I mean, maybe they can reclaim it, you know.

That's a good idea. Yeah, I'm reclaiming chrome. Old crone. Wow. Yeah, wear it as a badge of honor. It's a good word. All right. You ready to start recapping this episode? Yes, sure. This is a beautiful episode of Bonanza. God damn it. It starts with horse and a horse. Hoss has the, he says, this horse is the prettiest thing, this side of a red wagon. What a compliment that is. This is beautiful poetry, poetry, beautiful.

And it is like an Auburn sort of color, the horse too. Yeah, right. It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful horse. And he's hand, he found this horse wild, right? As a baby horse. Right. And he hand raised it.

They say that a few times. What does it mean to hand raise a horse? He's in the palm of your hand. Well, he's big enough. He is pretty big. Carried around like a roly-poly bug. Well, what is he planning to do with this beautiful horse he tells little Joe? He's planning to give it as an engagement present to Margie Owens.

You know, that woman he's always loved and has been leading up to Marion for episode after episode. And all of his brothers and his father know her very well. And they all love her. And they all know that she would be the perfect. wife for Haas. Now, we've seen every episode of this show. Chris, she ain't appeared on there before. No. Nope. No. You'd imagine that if he was spending any time with her, we would see her once or twice, right? Yep. And they go immediately into planning the wedding. Yeah. It's instant. Well, so Joe is so, you never see anybody so excited. Joe is so excited that Haas is going to marry Margie. And he runs. home, he bursts into the ranch house, he says, I got the greatest news since Kelly's

hog found gold. I didn't, I could have Googled that, but I didn't. Some restraint there, which is an express. But you Googled the guy saying Days of Our Lives for five minutes. I didn't do that. Okay, just checking. People get way ahead of themselves. They're already talking about where they're going to live, how they're going to build a house for them. And here's Hawks going, well, I ain't asked her yet. But everybody treats that as, though that is the merest of formality. I think back then it was. The hell cares what she thinks, right?

Yeah. You just inform her. I mean, it's all it's going to happen. That's like when I let my wife know she was pregnant. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It seems like that.

You're supposed to, yeah, you're just supposed to let her know where you and I are getting married. But he hadn't done that yet. No. He just hasn't had the opportunity to mention it yet. But now this is the moment where I, where I says this woman. going to die. I haven't, I haven't even met her yet. That was when you realized it. It does make you wonder, though, like the story starts just with him petting a horse and deciding he's going to ask,

you know, I guess I'm just wondering, yeah, how connected he is to what she's actually experiencing. Oh, interesting. Yeah, I would say, what do you mean experiencing? Or just, because she's a woman, you know. Right. Yeah, they don't experience. I guess it was when he was petting the horse. he realized I can sit on this horse. I can sit on this woman to submission into marriage. It's a one-to-one sort of lateral move. Right. Well, now he's in town and they're getting into a wagon together.

And he says, oh, I forgot something. And she's perfectly happy to just sit in this wagon staring into space while he goes and buys a saddle. But this is a moment their eyes meet. And it's a moment when he could say, wait, before I go get that saddle, will you marry me. And it almost seems like she's waiting for it, but it doesn't happen. She's one of those, what do they call NCPs? Non-player characters. MPC. MPC. She's a non-player character in Hoss's life. Right, right. It's the perfect wife. Well, now he's back at the house and the family cannot wait

for Hoss to, because they got a party coming up. There's a, throwing a party in. Unrelated, right. An unrelated party. And Paul would like to announce the engagement at the this party. So what are you fucking waiting for? And we're ready to order window casements to start building your house. Everything is moving. And Haas has yet to inform the woman

that she's going to spend the rest of her life with him. Why do also these boys only get a house if they're married? Yeah, that's well, what do you mean? I guess it's just, I don't know, I guess they're just like all like living together because they could just build a house for

each of them. It's true. It's true. No. Okay, sorry, go ahead. The reason they need a house after they're married is so that their brothers and their father can't listen to them humping and bumping on the house. Right. Until you're humping and bumping, you don't need a house. I suppose a house probably makes some strange noises in that context.

Oh, I wouldn't want to hear that. Hell no. That's why they're talking about putting them all way out on the Butte. Like it's, it ain't nowhere nearby where they're going to build that out. Or the sound don't travel. Exactly. Yeah, at some point in this party, Paul says, anyone within the sound of music is welcome at this party.

I know. It made me think, is this where that phrase was coined? And then they made a musical based off this. Could be. Yeah, I enjoyed that. That was a nice turn of phrase. That was a nice turn of phrase. But it does make me think he knows exactly how far sound travels here.

So that's why they're building the house where they're building it. Right. So they don't have to hear, ha's fucking. Now the next thing we got Haas and Margie at the lake at night and this is it. I mean, if you're ever going to propose, this is the time. And she makes the first move. She says, Haas, are you in love with me? Are you really in love with me?

And he said, well, that's why I was going to ask you. If I screw up the courage, you're going to ask you to marry me and all that. And she basically says, well, she's like, well, no. So it's weird that she brings it up. She says, are you in love with me? Are you in love with me? Yeah, I want to ask you to marry me. And she goes, well, but I want to travel the world.

So I guess she realizes like he's sitting here like kind of assuming we're going to get married. I need to bring up the topic and let him know I want to travel the world. And he says, well, that's no problem. We can travel the world together. If you're not too busy taking care of our children, which she would be. Anyway. But now. And he does offer those San Francisco.

He's like, we can go to San Francisco if you want. I know, but she gets mad. She goes, you offer me San Francisco? Right. I'm talking about the world. Man, she gets a little hot to the collar about that. But he says, all right, I'm going to talk to your father. And I'm going to ask your father for your hand in marriage.

And then he kisses her. And this seems like the first time they've kissed. And he asks specific permission for it. But so at this point, everything's going fine. There's a little wrinkle there. She'd like to travel the world. Yeah. And Haas has agreed to that conditionally, as long as he doesn't put a baby in her first,

before they can get the tickets arranged. It's fair. That's fair. Yeah. Well, now, Haas rides up to Margie's house, and there's a comical scene. He can't keep track of his head. He's so terrified. Hoss is so scared.

Yeah. But there's a tall stranger. Boy, is he tall? Boy, is he strange. There's somebody else in the house. Right. This villain named Mark Connors is also here. And Mark Connors is a fancy talking guy.

and he speaks of Zanzibar. Yeah. And he's traveled the world. And at some point, it's a strange, it's just, it's strange how it plays out. It is. Because he is where he takes it. Yeah. He's talking about his journeys in Africa and witnessing the horrors of slavery.

And then you see a shot of Margie falling in love. I think really seals the deal. She pictures the caged natives to whatever place he was staying. And he describes the fact that they even have human feelings like pain suffering. Right. And yeah, this is like within that she finds some kind of, yeah. We learn a little bit about Marjorie there. I think so.

He's literally describing a witness. witnessing the slave trade up close, and she's going, oh, yeah, I got to get there. Yeah. I need to see that. I'm as humid as an orchid. Keep talking. Keep talking. Oh, my God.

Yeah, that was an odd moment. But now, Connors, he leaves their house, obviously, and he goes home to whatever hotel he's staying in. And there's a woman waiting for him there, and she's bad news because she's wearing a red blouse. Oh. Oh. And she, it's a little confusing. Yeah. What is your understanding of this arrangement?

You're assuming I have an understanding of it? What is these two? They are partners. They are partners. Yes. So what's his name? Mark Connors and her name, I think, is Kathy. Yep.

Okay. And he gives her some money, which he's procured some way. So they have some kind of deal where they're in cahoots. Right. Now, what exactly the dynamic is, I don't know, but I think he owes her. Maybe she fronted him money. Yeah, she mentions having the power at some point. Right. She may be his backer. Uh-huh. And so she gets a percentage of his swindling, his dealings. Okay. Maybe. Something like that. But is she also expects to be with him romantically, I think? Hard to say. That was. I mean, she's wearing a.

red blouse, so I would assume. Yeah, no, you're right. There was something that she expected from there because she took issue with the fact that he was getting close with Margie. Right. And he says defensively, but I'm only doing that to swindle money, right? Does he say that? Yes. He says that she's the apple of her father's eye and her father is where the money is. So if I get in with her, I'll be able to get access to the money. Yes. So it's a little laying out of the evil plan, but not so you'd understand it. Right? I think no, no. The The violins and the red dress were helping us understand that something nefarious was happening. It's unspecific nefariousness.

Yeah, yeah. Sort of a more generic vague. Yeah. Nefariousness. Okay, good. That's what I saw. I'm glad you saw it too. No, you're right. That's what they intended.

And then it's party night at the Ponderosa. This is like, you know, the term cuck. I've never seen anybody so quite cucked like this. Poor hoss is standing there watching this girl that he's. that he's going to marry dancing around the floor with this tall stranger. And he's just, he was prevented by the presence of the stranger from asking for Margie's hand in marriage. But he's so close. All he needs to do is check that one box and they're off to the races.

But he hadn't done it yet. Now this guy's dancing around with this girl. But then he has a plan. He says, I'm going to take you out to the stable. This will seal the deal. I'm going to show her the beautiful horse June book. and is that when she? No, she doesn't say, she just,

how does that say he'd? He says, I'm going to ask your father if I have to hog tie him, I think. Oh, yeah, that's right. So it's, it's all about getting access to her father and asking him popping the question. That's all he needs. He's going to do it now. Right. But he is prevented from doing it by some other entanglement involving some guy,

some young strapping guy who tries to attack the old man over some money issue. And Mark Connors jumps in and says, saves the old man's life. And was that a setup or was that real? I think that was just, what did you think? I thought it was a setup. Oh, interesting. I thought it was, they never told us that Connors had a, but it felt very, to me.

Banza doesn't spoon feed you. It's like Kubrick. You really got to get in there and talk about it. So you think the tall stranger had prior arranged with this other guy? Hell, I don't know. Start some trouble with Margie's rich. father, I'll jump in and beat the shit out of you. And leave you unconsciously in the dirt.

Compelling case against. So, are you cool of that? Sure. I think that might be the case. All right. But either way, the upshot of it is that they're leaving the party. And Haas has once again missed his chance to ask for Marge's hand of marriage. And this is the crucial, the crucial.

If he didn't do it now, turns out, he, He ain't never going to get the chance to do it. God damn it. Because now Margie rides up on her new horse Junebug, and she's late to meet Haas. She's like, were you waiting long? He goes, a little. You're going to be here at one o'clock. Oh, well.

And then she says, hey, guess what? I'm going to marry Mark Connors in a month, and we're going to travel the world together. sorry huh but he didn't ask the father if he had just locked it in with the dad right it could have been that easy yeah he was really yeah he was too nervous too trepidacious he was sort of a hamlet figure i guess right he was just overthinking and there's a lot of internal things working there that are working against him and his response reaction shot and then the subsequent um i'm sure you're going to go into the but his sort of month-long... Yes.

Well, I timed it on screen time, believe it or not. Yeah. They traded us to one minute and 26 seconds of moping. This is unprecedented. Unprecedented on this show. We've had hours of loping, but never minutes of moping. Really something. And quite touching.

Mm-hmm. Real specific, too. I mean, and I was wondering how much time was passing. I thought an afternoon. That's a long walk. One tough afternoon where he kicks and throws some pine cones. Right. He laps up water from a river or something.

Yeah, and he's a lot of staring off into the distance. Yes, a lot of that. A lot of deep thoughts for hoss. Or he might have just been smelling food. You don't know what's going on in his brain. Yeah, there you know. But then we see little Joe and Paul with the horse. with June bog and everybody's hearts are broken and this is when it is revealed.

Yeah, Haas has been gone for a month. Month. That was a month of moping that we saw. Yeah, his little room springer. Yeah. And this is when a little Joe says he's tempted to go after him and help him. But Ben gets a beautiful fatherly advice. He says, you can help somebody mend a broken leg.

But a broken heart, a man's got a mend all by himself. Man, that's so true. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that sentiment from that generation caused years of trauma for all of their children. Generations of trauma. Generations.

That we still to this day. Trauma meaning toughness. Like, you mean that's another word for being tough? Sure. Yeah. Because was there another episode where someone was hurt or was having a hard time and didn't Paul go over two minutes to go like this?

Well, no use talking about it or something. What was it? I think it's happened the last time, Haas, when he was going to marry a girl who then started coughing blood into her handkerchief. Okay. As an excuse not to marry him. And he was real sad about that. And Paul was like, leave him alone. Don't talk to him.

He'll turn her and come around like nothing ever happened. Yeah. Worst thing you can do to someone has talked to him about something. Exactly. And it's true. He's right about it. It's good advice. And then furthermore, he says, hey, we're going to go to that wedding.

Which, they have no choice. Right. They got to go see Margie, who broke all of their hearts, get married to Mark Connors. They got to do it. Yeah, they have business dealings with her dad. Yeah. Are they getting married because she's pregnant? I don't think so.

Okay. Interesting. It is interesting that when he proposes. They're going to get married in a month. Right. We would have to double check because there's another scene where they'd talk about timeline. You're right. And we'd have to get into that.

But I'm not sure. I don't think she got pregnant. I don't think so. Okay. It never even crossed my mind that there could be premaritable six in this show. But maybe you're right. Oh, I was, I missed. Okay.

I thought there was. Ah. Yeah, that threw me that they had. Okay. Because Lucy and Desi slept in separate beds. I couldn't believe they'd go there. here. All right, I was confused. It's possible, but I don't know.

I think they made their timeline so that maybe it could be that they didn't have pre-maritable sex. I don't think they got. That was a honeymoon night sex, wedding nights. Right, right. Yeah, that's fine. We're okay with that. Yeah, yeah.

Every man and woman conceives a child on their wedding night. That's how that goes. Right. That's natural. Now, Hawes ends up coming to the wedding. He's been gone a month in his first appearance. is he rides up and he attends the wedding like a man. Yep.

That's what a man does. And then he asks if he can kiss the bride and she says yes. With tongue. With tongue. Do you mind? At least I could do. And now we have a serious passage of time. There's snow on the ground.

There's time enough to cut down a whole tree. There's a long time has passed. And now Margie's father comes to see Hoss. and he says to Haas, hey, man, I should, it turns out I shouldn't have told my daughter to marry that tall stranger instead of you, which I don't think Haas knew at that point that that's what had gone down, but it did. And by the way, Haas, you are taller than him. Yeah. And a little stranger. So I don't know.

But he basically says he lays out a lot of exposition that his son-in-law was hitting him up for money. And then his daughter stopped writing him letters. He hadn't heard from his daughter in a while. All he's hearing from is the son-in-law asking for more and more and more money. But the last time he did hear from the daughter-in-law, from his daughter, she was like, he's a con man, bilking you. And we ain't traveled anywhere. Our round-the-world journeys keep getting postponed.

Oh, Margie! Yeah. She couldn't tell that guy was full of shit. Zanzibar. Poor Margie's sitting there going, there are enslaved people that I need to visit. I want to see suffering. Show me suffering.

It turns me on. But now she's not in touch. She's disappeared. And Father says to Haas, will you please ride to San Francisco? Why ask Haas of all people? That's crazy. This is a cruel family.

A cruel family. Well, do you think just to kind of go back to that question about what is so enticing about being? traveling foreign lands. Do you think that the writer's producers needed to make that a darker image, as opposed to say seeing the Eiffel Tower or some kind of, you know,

the Arc de Tram for something? Because America is, then the pasture is more enticing. What do you think that is? That's a very specific choice for them to make at that turn. Like, why? Why is travel, why is world travel associated with slavery here? Is there some kind of mandate that?

Okay. So you're saying that, all right. If they had made it made world travel sound legitimately better. Right. Than raising children on a pond orosa. Farm. That that would have gone against the whole grain of the show. Exactly.

Right. Okay. Maybe that's what's going on. But also, world travel in 1861 would have been fucking awful. Oh, yeah. Don't you think? Fair enough.

You probably wouldn't have survived a journey to anywhere. I don't know. So she's crazy to want to travel, period. But even to go to nice places and not where sleeves are being shipped off, I don't know. But yeah, you might be right. Well, it's obviously she made the wrong choice. Yeah. My God.

From the very beginning. All right, well now, Haas agrees he's going to go up there like private detective and he's going to find this woman who turned him down. I loved this confrontation at the end, I have to say. Oh, yeah. At the saloon? Yeah. Yeah, me too. Haas's reasoning and I could see this being used in a modern film.

Yeah? Really? Just that kind of psychological warfare of, I'm going to put my gun down. Oh, yeah. And if you shoot an unarmed man, you get hanged. And I don't think you've got the guts. And he just keeps inching in on him. But wait, you get a hit because first, what he finds out is that she's in a hospital.

Right. And she's going to have a baby. And Dr. Prentice comes out and he goes, oh, good. I'm glad someone's here to visit her. She's going to have a baby. But she has no will to live. Not at all the promise of a new child. That's not a good thing.

Yeah, for the baby and for her health, right? Yeah. Yeah, he ties her death to her will to live. Yeah. Which feels like he did, he fucked up. He's kind of blaming her. Absolutely blame her. This has nothing to do with any kind of thing that I did.

You're going to see a large open scalpel wound. And that's just from her will. She had no will to not get sliced. Yeah. Related. I had a few drinks before the surgery that were will related, like cocktails. Everyone who comes into this hospital gets a $1,000 life of general policy on the way in. But yeah, she's lying in bed.

She's pregnant. She's about to have a baby. She's lacking a will to live. Oh, well. But Haasco's in and visits her and they sort of have a, what, a reconcilational moment of some kind. Yeah, she has shame and he sort of absolves her of her shame around sort of her choices. Yeah. And he says, we're going to bring that baby home and we're going to raise that baby.

and Haas is more than happy to raise the tall stranger's baby as his own child. And everything's going to be fine. But a little while later, old Dr. Princess comes out and he says, I wrote down what it says. He goes, I was afraid of it. That's like a spirit. The will to live just not there. That's it. She's an inferior human being, you see.

And I knew it. For the record, I called it. You remember when you first came here, I called it. A minute I walked in, I smelled it. Nope, some women just don't want to live Even when you kill them But the baby's fine Hopefully that'll bring some comfort to the family

Didn't do the mother Wasn't enough to make her want to live Anyway, I gotta go I'm going down to the dog track So now, yeah This is a hell of a scene Hoss goes to the saloon And he doesn't expect to run into any tall stranger

At this point I think he did say you wanted to kill him. I don't remember. But anyway, the tall stranger comes into the salute. Right. He's just talking to Kathy about hiring a nurse. He's just got some admin work to do. But the tall stranger, Mark Connors, comes in.

And the bartender pulls a gun on Hauss. Okay. And the tall stranger says, I'll draw you if you try to draw on me now. And plus my bartender friend will shoot you. So Haas punches out the bartender. Right away. Yeah. Incapacitates the bartender.

But now it's mono on mono. Now, Conner probably should have pulled his gun at that point if he's smart. Yeah, he could have shot him. He could have his gun out. I thought he had his gun out. No, I don't think. Oh, no? Didn't he pull it out then?

Maybe. It was weird timing. Okay. Yeah. But when you were in that position as Haas and one guy's got a gun on you and another guy standing there ready to draw his gun on you, you are screwed. It was very risky of him to turn around and punch the extremely risky.

Very risky. He's very lucky. Conner's had a good response to that too, which was he said something like clever, clever move on your part, which it wasn't. No. It wasn't clever. There was no move. Has got nothing to lose. He lost his woman.

Right. No, but you're right. Connors has his gun on him at that point. He's pointing a gun right at him. And that's when Haas takes off his gun belt. Right. Now, I've never seen that before. Somebody has outdrawn you, and so you drop your gun and you say, you can't shoot an unarmed man, you'll hang for that.

And I don't think you have the guts forward. It's a baller move. Yeah. Even though there's nobody else in the saloon except for Connors' partner. To witness it. To witness it. Yeah. So he's relying on her witness ID.

She's an unreliable witness. I would say so. But she has turned against Conner's. Yeah, I think it's important. Okay. Okay. But I don't know. But either way, it works.

It works. What exactly? Well, then he gets close enough. He bluffs him. He gets close enough. He swats his gun away. And then not only hits him on the head, but does the proper balk. That's right.

A lot of the fists. Yeah, like an arm and hammer bunk on the. Hulk smash. Yes. Yeah. One shot. Bunk. Yeah.

Lights out. Yep. That's it. And then we go home. Now, now, as terms of custody, really the baby should go to Mark Conner. Sure. But that's just not going to happen.

No. Hawes has stolen a child. Boss steals a child. That's basically what happens. It's not that big. It's a biological father should get the baby. But anyway, Haas steals the baby, I suppose, gives it to Margie's father to raise.

We don't know. We don't know. Not with this family. I wouldn't do that. It's a cruel family. That's true. Yeah. That baby's fucked.

Yep. And then a horse, and then he sets Junebug free, the horse that he hand raised. Poetry. Free, just like Margie, is now free to travel the world as a spirit. Right. And he says if she gets impregnated the horse and has a child, that maybe one day Margie's daughter could get that horse as a gift for her wedding. Wow. Oh, nice.

That's his wish. That fixes everything. It does. And then maybe he can ask her to marry him. He'll be a little bit older. Right. But you know. Yep.

Why not? Dan da-da-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-danza. We did it. All he needs to do is hold out for 18 years. 18, you're being generous. Yeah. You're right. What am I thinking?

All right. Well, with that, I'm afraid there's only 349 episodes of Bonanza left for us to discuss. Wow. That's crazy, right? That is crazy. It's going to go by like that. I mean, it already has. It used to be 431. Now it's 300 and whatever you said. Exactly. 349. Well, what do you say there, Chris, if we turn to, you're going to watch all the rest of the episodes? Yeah, I think so. Why not? Yeah. There's nothing else on these days. I have plenty of time. And I think, yeah, I'll definitely strap it and see what happens. next. Yeah.

Check it out. We recently calculated how long it would take you to watch every episode. Was it? Yeah, like 17 days or something like that. Yeah, if you watch straight through. Yeah, without sleeping. No commercials. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's a good idea. Yeah. All right. Okay. We challenge all the listeners to do it. All right, folks, that's an episode of Bonan is for Bonanza. You want to plug anything?

Not really. Maybe my Instagram. Yeah. Chris Smith Smith. Chris Smith. Smith. Chris Smith. Oh, it is?

Well, that's... Cris, Chris, Mr. Verging on James B. Human there. I'm suspicious now. Yeah. All right. All right. Check that out on Instacart.

All right, folks. We'll see you next time. Now get it. Bye now. Bananas for Bananas. Brought to you by Andy Daly with Matt Gordon. Theme song by Matt Goyle with The Journeyland, which in this case are Mark McConville,

Daniel Mitchie Cuff, and Wade. Bananas for Bananasas mixed and edited by Mark McComb. Executive produced by Andy Daley and Matt Gourne. We'll see you around.